#its actually very very funny that my stomach doesnt work right and i am laughing soooooo hard

[tinypinkheart]

I spent too long swallowing everything down and it made me sick. now my body doesn't work quite right

and the top theory from the doctors is that I swallowed down too much sadness and it's begun to act like a poison (rather slow moving if it took this long, geez).

oh, it seemed so silly at first!! a diagnosis of "got too distressed"?? let's be serious now. medical offices are not the place for such wildly fanciful conjecture. but as time keeps passing and symptoms get weirder and tests keep coming back strange and my prognosis remains a question mark - I'm no longer so sure.

when I last saw my therapist, he had told me he was astounded I was not dead. it was meant to be somewhat complimentary - commenting on how most people get faced with extreme hardships one or two at a time, whilst I'd had to face several in rapid succession. now, his words give me an ominous feeling about the growing sense of rot coming from my gut.

If I were to venture out into the world of fanciful conjecture: I spent too much time wishing myself dead, and my body is engaging in some spiteful irony. "see how you like it!!" well I don't, thank you.

[tklpilled]

tgcf tk headcanons because i have to do EVERYTHING around here (spoilers)

xie lian is canonically SUPER ticklish and its SO cute i love him

feng xin and mu qing know about it but like. they never do anything about it

but HUA CHENG.

xie lian can NOT catch a break (not that he minds)

he's so dramatic about it he's like "please.. i cant take it anymore..." after two seconds

one time he tries to get hua cheng back and hes SO disappointed when it doesnt work

"you have to be ticklish!!" "i would never lie to gege <3"

but then xie lian gets to one of his like. two spots and they both just stare at each other

in hua cheng's defense. who would ever try to tickle THE crimson rain sought flower. how was he supposed to know

hua cheng lets xie lian tickle him as much as he wants but he will be just as if not more melodramatic

"i'm dying!!" "you are already dead"

qi rong is TIRED of them

speaking of qi rong. he tries boasting about how not ticklish he is and then xie lian squeezes his sides to make him shut up and he screams. turns out possessing someone else's body has consequences

(although his actual form is ticklish too. but he won't admit it)

xie lian gets into the habit of just reaching over and scribbling over qi rong's stomach when he's being too annoying

it kinda backfires though bc it just turns into qi rong shouting various curses and threats, and in most cases he's even louder than before

but xie lian finds it kinda funny so he keeps doing it

"COUSIN CROWN PRINCE YOU ARE TRYING TO KILL ME" "you are already dead!!!!"

he xuan is definitely not ticklish he's scary and intimidating and he doesn't giggle

there seems to be a theme involving ghost kings

disguised as ming yi, he is Actually not ticklish. shi qingxuan has tried. many times.

BUT in his true form he xuan is ticklish and shi qingxuan is very happy

not quite as ticklish as shi qingxuan but she doesn't care

he xuan doesn't tickle him back very often BUT

when he does she's always begging him to stop and then gets disappointed when he does actually stop

he doesn't love being tickled or anything but he does think it's fun!! esp when it's he xuan doing it

he xuan has sharp teeth + sometimes he bites shi qingxuan but she always giggles cause it always tickles rather than hurts

quan yizhen + yin yu <333 i love side ships

ANYWAY quan yizhen is super giggly when he's being tickled like he's just. a little puddle and its cute

yin yu always tries to hide his laugh but he breaks eventually

sometimes quan yizhen is all "shixiong :(((" whenever yin yu is trying to keep quiet so he just gives in right there

yin yu gets so flustered when it comes to like. most things in their relationship actually. bc quan yizhen is always so forward

"i want to tickle you" "???????"

and even in the reversed positions it's like

"can you tickle me" "?????????????"

quan yizhen just does not get flustered ever it's so unfair to yin yu

I FORGOT ABOUT FENGQING i am so sorry

mu qing is the more ticklish one. my reasoning is because he's my favourite of the two

they can't do ANYTHING without turning it into some sort of competition and tickling is no different

"tickle fight" no that shit's tickle Warfare. tickle Combat. tickle Armed Conflict

mu qing is like a cat his worst spots are his stomach + ears and feng xin gives me ticklish sides/ribs vibes

feng xin has more stamina than mu qing but mu qing will always try to last as long as he possibly can out of spite

xie lian has witnessed many. many of their tickle fights. he's tired

y'know what i take back what i said earlier. xianle trio tk fights

like it's just feng xin and mu qing but then some way or another xie lian will find a way to get involved

they never actually drag him into it (on purpose) because they want to be fair and they know he will Lose. he has Zero chance of winning.

but like. once he does get involved. they're not just going to kick him out

"feng xin!! help me!!!" "sorry your highness i have this really rare contagious disease called ligma"

xie lian has won a total of one (1) time against mu qing and that's only because he was teasing him to the point where he short-circuited long enough for xie lian to tickle him into a little heap on the ground

mu qing likes to pretend it never happened

[smugraccoon137]

Supergirl Season 2 episode 8 Medusa review part 2

If your curious part 1 was just my breakdown of Kara and Mon-els relationship that got way too long. But as always SPOILERS AND GAY THOUGHTS AHEAD

Me and kel get so excited when Lenas in an episode. Like practically giddy. I can’t help smiling when shes on screen honestly. And yes Katie McGrath is beautiful, but beyond that such a pretty smile and lovely voice. I’m sure ratings started to spike when she joined the cast. Okay enough about pretty girls on to the review 

Tipsy fucking Alex though guys I can’t get over this mess of a person. 

Alex: if I have to come out to my mom then I choose to do it drunk

Kara: no your not *yoinks beer*

Alex: wait no my coming out juice

Kara Danvers sneaky sneaker extraordinaire can totally interview Lena and find out Cadmus things without anyone knowing. The confidence this goofball has is top tier

Underrated relationship: Alex and Winn though. I really really love Winn and honestly Alex is such big sister energy to both him and Kara. 

wow Lenas pretty in the interview scene. A touch of auburn hair from the sunlight really makes this shot and we never get to see her with her hair down. Fan service honestly, or maybe she heard a certain beef cake reporter was gonna come by and wanted to dazzel her.

Lena: hair up is for business. Hair down is for flirting friendship time with Kara

Poor baby thinks she falls short nooooo. Your doing your best godamn your only like 25 jesus. Kara give her a hug she needs love and affection

Kara thinks shes being so sneaky in this interview. Such a golden retriever, bad at sneakin. As soon as she toes the line Lena catches on and kicks her out. Really good acting in the scene, the subtle change in expression to show Lenas guard raising. Good job Katie.

Real quick Lena why is your office so ugly? How do you keep it clean? You spend 99% of your days in this place and its whiter than a hospital room. I hate it. Why is your desk an oval? and why does it have a hole in it? Kara cant eat you out in secret anymore damn. 

OOHHHhhhh noooo the fucking gas bomb in the bar what the fuck. EVERYBODIES DEAD JESUS WHAT WAS THAT

Poor Mon-el. What happened at the bar was fucked up, and he feels like its fault when its obviously not.

Love that he and Kara are having bro time playing some Monopoly. Oh no not Kara asking if he likes her. Honestly thought these two had good chemistry in this scene. Im a sucker for dumbass not understanding certain words and phrases. So Kara having to reiterate her questions and finally being like “You don’t want to mate with me do you?” was super fun. Omegaverse vibes mfs. Although I am confused by mon-els reaction “I mean have you seen the kind of women I’ve been attracting?” I honestly don’t know what this means.

Kara internal reaction though: Oh thank god

Wow Kara really just has no regard for her own life, huh? she just opens the door and possibly contaminates herself. It’s good to want to help people, but love you gotta care about yourself too

Good reveal with the fortress of solitude. Oof Kara gonna feel like its her fault all those aliens died and mon-els sick. They do a really good job of showing Karas relationship with her parents through their holograms. She wants so badly to see them again, to talk to them. And she can, but not really. They just aren’t real.

Lena cattily to her mother: im used to celebrating holiday weekends alone at my desk

me to Kara: please invite her to thanksgiving

Okay so Lena being adopted is another interesting parallel to Kara. Also the fact that both Kara and Lena fall into there families shadows, and are left behhind or forgotten. Really interesting how Lena and Karas relationship is so similar to Clark and Lex’s for obvious purposes. Though the CW queer coding the fuck out of their relationship in Smallville really only adds to Supercorp fever. Its always been Homoerotic subtext Harold!

Me watching Lena and Lillian trade verbal blows: Wow ya’lls relationship is fucked up. Lex and Lionelle would spar and fence but you two are on another level jesus

oooooof that last line. 

Lena: I know your lying

Lillian: and how could you possibly know that?

Lena: because you told me you loved me. And we both know thats not true

Who wrote this jesus fuck my heart. The PAIN.

Bonus thought Lena thinks Karas smart. Goofball beefcake sneaky sneakster who doesnt know the difference between flirting and friendship is smart she thinks. I love these idiots

Wow Kara just doesn’t wait huh? Oh cadmus is going to be at LCorp? Not on my watch. Lena’s there. I know this because I tune into her heart beat just to check on her cus she likes to work late. Don’t worry Alex it’s for friendship reasons.

That LCorp security guard got princess carried for .2 seconds. Best moment of his life.

God its like dark out. Lenas working on a holiday weekend into the night. I hate this, give her friends.

Lena looks so scared when Kara gets thrown into the giant LCorp sign

And then hurt Kara looking up at her with dread.

Kara internal: fuck don’t come out now. I came here to save you

God I love the protectiveness. Its *chefs kiss*. Hank throwing the beam at Lena and Kara even in her hurt state throwing herself in front of it. Sometimes self sacrifice is gay. But how Lena looks at her after wards like “I can’t believe I’m alive. I can’t believe she chose to save me”. Met with a gruff “Get out of here!”. mm yes this is my kind of content. Fight for me.

I was robbed an aftercare scene but I doubt it will be the last time. (*COUGHS* the “im leaving” phone call *COUGHS*)

Talking about the virus Eliza: what about Lena Luthor?

Kara: What about her?! (super defensive is also a super power maam)

Winn: Luthors can be pretty good actors

Kara: No, I looked into LENAS EYES. She doesn’t know anything about cadmus or her mother

J’onzz: Would you stake Mon-els life on that?

well I guess that really puts Lena and Mon-el right next to each other in priorities huh? Which one is more important? 

Wow Lena totally has a crush on Supergirl after that. Flustered dork. 

Lena: *laughs nervously* you know that doors not really an entrance

Kara: *upsettit stone face pupper*

Lena: :,) 

Okay but the way Lena just says “Anything” all breathless and helpful when Kara says she needs her help. Shes crushin hard

Kara tells Lena her mother is in charge of Cadmus. 

Lena: >:(

Annnd the crush is dead. That did not last long. Really love that Lena has such a different relationship with Kara vs Supergirl though, good dynamic having her reactions so different. Which I believe actually relates as a Clark and Lois parallel? Seeing as how Lois has two separate relationships with Clark and Superman. 

OOf the way Lenas throat bobs with genuine sadness because who she thought Supergirl was is wrong. Shes just like the rest of them. Thinks Lena is just another crazy Luthor. It hurts

Kara: I know what its like to be disillusioned by our parents, but Im a pretty good judge of character, and you are not like your mother. She is cold and dangerous. And you are too good and too smart to follow in her path. Be your own Hero.

Wow just what a good line. They are capable of some things here and there arent they? Melissa's delivery on this is excellent. And the way Katie McGrath is able to show such depth of sadness and bitterness even from a shot of her BACK is really cool. Great acting in this scene in particular. And I can see why the “desperation to be good” is such a highlighted part of these two relationship. Its the one thing in common between Lena and Supergirl, the place where they can meet in the middle. And the way Lena looks after her as she leaves! AHHH thats the good shit, the pining

Okay big Mon-el scene in coming so if you dont want to hear my ranting skip over this part. 

Funny how as soon as Kara has this big impactful scene with Lena full of tension and emotion the writers were like: shit we almost forgot Mon-els dying. 

Kara: *staring sadly back into Lenas office kind of wanting to go back in*

Writers: *cough cough* KARA He’s DYINGGGG

Kara: Oh shit right. Mon-el Oh no. My *looks at poorly written handwriting on her palm* romantic interest?

Wow Mon-el looks like shit, poor guy. Someone swaddle this pillow princess and get him some soup.

Heres a question. Kara is visibly upset that Mon-el is dying. Is it because she’s sad that the guy shes likes is dying. Because her friend is dying? Because her father created the virus thats killing him (what the writers want us to think)? Or because no matter what Kara does the people she loves keep falling through the cracks and shes helpless to stop it?

Her parents. Clark. Her adoptive father. Now Lena. Now Mon-el. Why can’t she ever do anything? Why is it always her fault? This poor kid has some deep seeded abandonment issues

Mon-el: you know you look beautiful with the weight of all these worlds on your shoulders.

I do remember my reaction here, cus I thought this was a weird line. A line that was obviously meant to be romantic and complimentary, but it felt unsettled in my stomach. Coming back and watching the scene it sits even more uncomfortably there. He obviously means well, but this line is kind of just shitty. Its a very selfish and unthoughtful thing to say to someone. 

Kara’s entire fucking life has revolved around other people and making sure they are happy and taken care of. But having “failed” at such a young age to do the impossible things asked of her (carrying on Kryptons legacy, raising Clark) she overcompensates. Any normal person would just make their life revolve around their family and friends, not healthy but it works. But Kara feels responsibility over an entire world of lost people and lives. So the amount she overcompensates is ungodly. She does have the weight of worlds on her shoulders. This is not a joke or hyperbole. Its just her life. And thats so fucking shitty. And to have someone actually see that and acknowledge it. To make it a reality so to speak. Then to have them say “yeah you look good like this” while you’re a shaking Atlas being crushed. It is just a little too much isn’t it? That pain to have someone see you finally, and then completely miss the point. For them to go “oh wow your so strong. your so brave” instead of “let me help you. you shouldn’t have to do this at all, forget by yourself. But now I am here”. 

I imagine this was the scene that crowned my darling himbo boy Mon-Hell? Which is so unfortunate. I hope Im wrong, but I feel that his character might just end up a big missed opportunity

I want everyone to know that me and Kel screamed through the entire enxt few seconds of the scene. We knew the kiss was coming from how they were building it up. But god was it painful, especially for it to be delivered after a line like THAT. But yeah very loud angry screaming

Also not to be that bitch but Kara and Mon-els scene was a total of 1:53 RT, and Kara and Lenas ran at a 1:57 RT. Just sayin...

No Lena don’t be evil thats too sexy...

Okay but the way that Lena just tricks Lillian is so good. Shes so clever. And added bonus she makes her ask for her help, which is nice actually. Lillian's obvious vice is weakness and that is often shown in embarrassment. A woman like this asking for help borders that line of weakness and its nice to see on such a dislikable character. Lena didn’t just get what she wanted she got a point over her mother.

Lena looks good in the purple coat. Repeat she is pretty

Love the mental chess game between Lena and Lillian. Lena offering help right off the bat and giving her the isotope free of charge. And then Lillian making Lena launch the virus to prove herself. Good stuff.

Kara appears: don’t do it Lena!

Lena: why not? im a luthor

Okay so obviously Lena switched the Isotope and the Virus won’t work. But thats what makes this line so perfect. Throwing it back in Supergirls face. Like “Yeah, Im a luthor. And Ill show you what im capable of.” But instead of mass death and destruction Lena saves the day. She saved thousands of lives, and its because shes a Luthor that she was able to do that. Really nice way to full circle that 

Wow Lillian really just starts booking it without Lena, huh? bitch

I really love the scene of the virus falling all around National City. The choice of an orangish snow falling was a really really good one. Paired with some excellent music for the mid season finale.

Its sad but I do love Hank just being ready and at peace with death. Im sure he misses his wife and daughters. 

Okay but Lena calling the cops is tea. Send your mom to jail honey. 

So we’re really not gonna talk about how Lena saved everyones asses? Like don’t you think Supergirl would want to talk to the woman that A) kind of tricked her, and B) saved National City. Thats just what makes sense??? But no we’re going to ignore that the DEO is a kind of shit at their job sometimes. And that the woman that they were accusing of having a part to play in all the xenophobic shit is the one who did their job. BY HER SELF. 

Okay rant over. This was a long one review dear god. Really really good episode though. I enjoyed rewatching all the scenes even if it was a mixed bag of feelings. Thanks for reading hope you enjoyed all the screaming!

[tigerdrop]

king u gonna elaborate on virgin benrey

 listen i have kiryu “is 100% a virgin at the ripe old age of 37, and this is appealing to me instead of fucking hilarious″ kazuma disease and it has followed me here. also this kind of branches into a completely different kink at the end b/c i am diseased

so you know how i write "obviously fucks good and hard all the time" benrey. well........you know.......like..........what if......................he didnt. what if he was. what if he had never fucked before in his life and his incessant flirting finally works and hes like "i did not expect to get this far."

envision, if u will, the delightful awkwardness of virgin benrey + "has never had sex with a dude before" gordon

ive definitely brought up the possibilities of gordon going all science-brain on null benrey before but i think it works just as well on virgin benrey too. its a learning experience for both of them and if theres one thing gordons good at, its research. and gordon probably gets way too up in his own head about making sure he does this shit right and spends a lot of sleepless nights googling "how to have sex with dudes" and, you know, researching, 

if benreys not the one fucking babying him thru his first gay experiences he is probably going to bungle it so fucking badly and i think it would be really funny 

alternatively please consider gordon being so fucking neurotic about benrey never having done this shit before that he avoids the subject as hard as possible, thinking that hes gonna dick it up hardcore, but the whole time benreys just thinking "bro i havent had my dick touched in [however long hes been alive]. come on". the tension

furiously making out with him behind a fucking crate in black mesa and then realizing this is Going Places and gordons voice breaks as he says, way too loud, "I GOTTA UHHH GO RELOAD MY SMG. RIGHT NOW"

you think gordon is touch starved ? no. Hell with this 

Im just tsying theres no evidence hes been touched at all by another human being in his life before this. if hes video game in real he benrey noclip out of being touched 

what if he like, chooses not to noclip/not feel....ON that time gordon catches him. just cuz hes curious, a gay impulse. or maybe hes so surprised (and gay) he forgets to avoid it

and oh, to be in gordon freeman's gentle grasp. makes him into an unholy annoyance of awkward gayness for the rest of the series

YEAS.......also he has definitely thought hard about sucking gordons dick but doesnt actually have any idea how he would go about it. hes just heard its cool

giddy thinking about the scenario where its actually benrey whos terrible at sucking dick b/c hes never done it before and gordon who actually does suck dick like a champ

i know that this is literally the plot of the very first serious nsfw fic in this fandom but still. virgin beney. benrey getting sucked off for the first time in his entire life and shaking like a fucking leaf......

Power trip of Gordon realizing this guy whose been hitting on him the whole time has no idea what to actually do 

Gordon Freeman Gives Benrey A Prostate Exam

its a joke but its not a joke. virgin benrey being vaguely aware that being fucked by gordon freeman would be cool, in theory, but not fully conceptualizing of how you actually get a dick in your ass until gordons like "what?? no, dude, you cant just stick it in there" and gives him a demonstration and thats how benrey discovers he has a prostate 

benrey like "idgi man this just feels weird. when do we get to theohhh my god what. what that" and gordons like "what, u mean this?" (curls his fingers again) mean smirk hours

i want him to make a squeaky little noise when gordon says that and curls his fingers again, and gordon's like "ha- knew he'd like it" and keeps kneading him a while; but oops, suddenly benrey's coming with an even squeakier noise 

gordon's so surprised he just keeps going, hes like, not comprehending until benys whining at him to stop

a thought: benreys not good at "being human" and probably doesnt actually know whats supposed to happen when u nut so every time hes been jackin it he just does it until it starts to be Just A Little Too Much and then hes like "mission accomplished" and stops. imagine his fucking surprise when  gordons jerking him off and he doesnt stop and hes like "wh ha hu what the fuck i already got off bro" and gordon just stares at him and the distinctive lack of cum on his hand and s like ".......did you?  you sure about that one." 

tl;dr benrey squirming and babbling and digging his fingers into gordons back as he begs him to keep going, he doesnt know whats gonna happen and hes feeling totally overwhelmed b/c gordons pushing him further than hes ever been pushed and he keeps inadvertently trying to wriggle away b/c its So Much but gordon, maybe, pins down his hips so he can get benrey off For Real....... 

even better if its when gordons sucking him off for the first time so he can wrap his arms and hands around benreys thighs to keep them spread wide open and firmly in place 

knees shaking and thighs jumping constantly 

and benrey has no idea when its supposed to be over so he cant even warn gordon properly. he just keeps getting louder and louder....... 

maybe even.......completely hunched over gordon......pushing him down on his dick with his hands in his hair....... 

alternating between babbling "stop" and "dont stop" b/c hes stupid 

eventually gordon gets so sick of benrey not being able to decide whether he wants to shove gordon onto his dick or yank him off that he just pulls off and says "look, man, do you trust me?" b/c he would really like to just get benrey to stop edging himself here 

UNINTENTIONAL OVERSTIMULATION.......THE TEARS........HHHHHHH

and he eventually gets benrey to nod furiously at him that he trusts him and gordons just like, okay, im not gonna stop then. im gonna keep going. and.......he does 

eyes glazed, hair sticking to him with sweat, hips all twitchy, dick all red, face also all red 

sucking benrey dry until hes over sensitive....... 

He started off spasming then he’s rocking into Gordon’s face by the time he’s wailing his name. Panting and gasping like he’s fucking DROWNING 

gordon meanwhile almost nuts in his pants from the fuckin show that benreys puttin on for him and hes not even trying. hes just Like This. gordons got jerkoff material for the next month just thinking about the way benrey wails his name and clutches his hair tight 

benreys like (slurred) 'u gonna jack off or sumn.......was it not hot'. gordon fighting with every cell of his body not to scream "WAS IT NOT HOT?"

trying to decide what would be hotter: gordon jacking off while hes on his knees with his head resting on benreys thigh or jerking off on benreys stomach and.....r.......rubbing it in

benrey watching gordon cum and feeling a whole new context for it cause now he knows how good it feels and gets turned on again faster-

thinking.......about.......th. next time. now that benreys figured it out. he gives it a try on his own time and hes so surprised that it works that he goes up to gordon like "yo. check this out. i figured out how to jack it" and gordon has the most unimpressed look on his face imaginable 

"proud of you, buddy. am i good to go back to watching storage wars, or" "you wanna uhhh.....wanna see it maybe?" and that changes his entire tune

imagining benrey being so fucking bad at it still that he keeps doing the start-stop shit b/c its so intense and hes not used to it and the thing that actually gets him to finish is gordon, pants down to his knees and fisting his own dick like he might die tomorrow, leaning forward and telling him that hes got this, benreys gonna come for him, right? come for gordon? 

gordon fucking telling him "dont stop" WRT jerking himself off and benrey just listening to him and pushing himself is ruining my fuckin mind 

its a really good thought......i love how it plays into non-human benrey having to figure out human stuff........makes me crayz

probably keeps being sensitive for a long while too........ (mumbling very very quietly) and if hes so sensitive from never being touched before......maybe hes kind of........uhhh..................ticklish

new layers to the whole "oh my god its too much stop it" + "i actually dont want you to stop touching" thing .. . . .. . . . + gordon powertripping when he realizes whats going on with him and why he keeps jerking away and trying not to laugh when gordon touches him like on his stomach or his sides

benrey accidentally jerks too hard and knees gordon in the dick from how ticklish he feels just from like, hands on his sides or something

i was actually thinking about......like.......gordon laying on the ground and suffering (because why wouldnt i be thinking about gordon suffering) and deciding that enough is enough and offering to.......desensitize benrey. you know. for his own health

you know. uhhh. tying up his arms and legs, perhaps, and. you know. "do not noclip through these. i swear to god, benrey, if you kick me in the dick again" 

i'm think about benrey begging gordon to stop, so he does, to check if this is a Forreal stop or a "hahah nooo~" stop, and benrey asks him through gasps to keep fucking tickling him (except he just says smth to the effect of ."gh.. ....keep doing it dude wuhdah hell...") and gordon gets an evil fucking grin and just feels on top of the world "yeah?? think you can handle it, huh???" and just destroys him. benrey thinks about gordon's horny manic face for weeks 

neither of them had a thing for this before this point but the combination of feeling like hes being tickled and gordons hands on him for the first time making him mad horny gives benrey a brand new fucking fetish. gordons manic fucking face im so glad we are on the same wavelength about that

i truly hate my own posts. incurable. diseased

[babysizedfics]

Poor roman :( but that being said I am heka interested in 5

remus humiliates roman in front of jamal (but jamal is a sweetheart)

vote from this concept voting post!

TWs: swearing, emotional humiliation, arguing, remus is generally pretty mean in this - not "unsympathetic" but his behaviour is not ok, brief alcohol mention but it isnt a main feature

first some background info on remus and ro:

roman and remus' friend groups actually run parallel to each other by pure councidence in that theyre the same age and are both in the local queer scene

usually they only run into each other on nights out and avoid each other like the plague... until one of romans friends and one of remus' friends become a very serious couple and the friendship groups merge

remus tends to hang it over romans head whenever they argue or remus just feels like teasing him that he could so so easily spill romans secret littlespace to all his friends

and while roman claims to not care he also really doesnt want that to happen, especially the specific things remus threatens to reveal (namely him calling his cgs mommy and daddy, and his fear of the dark - which remus knows are romans biggest embarrassments)

and remus never USUALLY actually follows through on his threats, he loves to freak roman out but he doesnt mean to be intentionslly cruel.

but one night theyve had an argument recently and remus is out to hurt roman and finally follows through on his threat to reveal romans secrets. in front of jamal

((the actual incident below the cut))

all the friends are walking back from a night out, and remus hangs back from the group to talk to jamal. roman is just glaring at remus and not saying anything and holding jamals hand tightly. remus hasnt embarrassed him too bad so far, just asking jamal questions and referring to roman as his "baby brother" which is so annoying, but the thing is roman can tell hes building up to something

then suddenly remus smirks when he sees a completely pitch black side street thats theyre about to pass by, and he calls out to everyone "hey guys, there's a 24/7 mcdonalds through here and its a shortcut to the bus stop" and everyones like WOO mcdonalds and redirects to go down the side street

and romans heart pounds watching the friends all filter down the street without a second thought, theres no streetlights down there, theres light on the other side quite far away, but before that its SO DARK. and he freezes in place and jamal is tugged back by it and looks back at him. "babe, come on"

romans starting to feel shaky and he literally cant move his feet. his eyes flick between the street and remus' sadistic cocky smirk.

"whats wrong baby bro? you stuck or something?" remus leers with that stupid stupid smirk

and roman HATES him so so much

"ro, what's the matter?" jamal asks

"i- um," roman stutters, trying to keep his voice from shaking too much at the sight of his friends just having DISAPPEARED into the darkness - how are they okay with that?? "i- im not hungry"

"okay well i am, and remus said it was a shortcut anyway so-"

"i-i -- no i can't"

seraphina, romans best friend, looks back and notices whats happening and quickly jogs over (knowing roman is scared of the dark) "hey roma, it's okay we dont have to go down there" she soothes

jamal is supportive but he doesnt get it. he thinks roman is scared of criminals or smth. "i promise theres no one bad down there, hun. and i'll be right next to you the whole time, i'll protect you" and he smiles and tugs romans hand to pull him towards the side street

romans eyes quickly tear up and he panics and rambles "nononono dont please please i cant i cant" in a broken voice and plants his feet firmly on the ground, paralysed with fear

remus starts cackling "ohhhhh thats right~" as if he just remembered. "my baby brother's terrified of the dark, isn't he?"

"f*ck off, re" sera barks, standing between the twins, protective of roman

"wait, are you?" jamal asks sounding surprised. roman doesnt let himself look at him, too busy watching remus warily and knowing thats not all he has planned to embarrass roman

remus goes on, shouting out to jamal over sera's head "he's petrified!" he confirms sounding delighted. "yknow that massive blackout last summer? he cried like a baby. literally sobbing for his daddy patton to make it go away"

theres a brief silence because no, sera and jamal didnt expect remus to refer to patton as romans daddy - they both know roman calls him dad but this is a surprise.

and that one second of silence drags on for ages for roman, all he can hear is his heart pounding in his ears and remus' obnoxious laughter

he is shaking, frozen in shock rather than fear now. for all of remus' teasing threats at home, he didnt expect remus to actually do it. hes devastated and humiliated that remus told to his best friend and especially his BOYFRIEND of all ppl

and honestly he's not even thinking about the pitch black side street right now because the streetlights on the main road are blurred by tears welling in his eyes anyway

"why dont you just leave him alone!" sera hisses furiously after her mild shock

then jamal bounces back rlly stern to remus "yeah i already know about that! roman told me and it was HIS choice to tell me"

roman stares at him in disbelief but jamal is too busy staring daggers at remus to notice

remus looks suddenly offended and frowns. hes clearly hurt that the others dont think its funny "jeez youre both such bores. im just having some fun"

"youre demented if you think thats fun" seraphina growls and shoves remus away towards the sidestreet. remus rolls his eyes and runs ahead to join the others who are all oblivious to that coversation, howling with drunken laughter in the pitch black and jumping out and scaring each other

"f*cking prick" jamal calls after remus, seething

sera quickly throws a concerned look to roman "you okay?"

roman just swallows thickly and looks between seraphina and where he saw remus join the others in the pitch black. his stomach churns at the idea of remus telling more people. "i-is he gonna--"

"im on it" sera nods and starts turning around "i wont let him tell anyone else, roma, promise" then she runs ahead to keep an eye on remus and to give him and jamal some privacy

after a moment jamal turns back to roman looking so worried and holds his hands and asks very gently "babe, can you tell me how youre feeling?"

and roman is teary but he whispers "i - you stuck up for me"

jamal looks suddenly sad and cups romans cheek "of course i did"

"but you said i told you about it. i- i didnt tell you that i-" roman gulps after his voice wobbles "i didnt tell you about it"

and jamal smiles sadly and goes "i know babe... im sorry, i just didnt wanna give him any more power. it seemed like he's held that over you for a while"

suddenly the tears in romans eyes overspill and he doesnt really know why but he can't stop them

jama gasps a little "oh roman, its ok" and just pulls him into a tight hug

roman clings and sniffles, glad that he can hide his tears from his boyfriend even if it is in his neck.

and jamal just strokes his back and whispers "its ok baby, its ok" **

they talk about it quietly as they take the longer, well-lit route instead. roman admits he would never have told jamal abt his fear on his own - and the reason he's been avoiding staying overnight at jamals apartment is bc the one time he did he got so scared of the dark that he couldnt sleep and was just anxious all night but wouldnt wake jamal to tell him

after jamal finds out hes like baby why didnt u tell me its okay and comforts him about it not being embarrassing or childish. then:

"so you do actually want to stay at mine, its just because its so dark that you didnt?"

roman nods shyly "yeah... im sorry i know its a dumb fear i just-"

"its not dumb ro. i meant to say if it works for you, we could leave the hall light on and the door open. its not like i live with anyone who can walk in."

roman blinks "wait you - really? it wont make it hard for you to sleep?"

jamal smiles softly "no hun, honestly i could sleep anywhere. i fell asleep in the middle of the day in the staffroom just last month"

roman laughs, so so so relieved

"so... maybe next time you come over for dinner you could stay the night, yeah?" jamal says with a smile and a blush. he wraps his arm around romans waist and pulls him in, hip to hip

roman bites his lip and blushes. after a moment he suggests shyly "im free tonight..."

and jamal smiles so big, stops walking and puts his arm up to romans chest to stop him too then angles romans jaw down to kiss him

in the near future jamal promises to buy a plain nightlight and always leaves it on for roman when he stays overnight from then on

**side note: roman could never stand anyone calling him baby before because he felt infantilised at school becaus of his undiagnosed adhd. so he sees it as a derogatory name more than anything. but when jamal says it roman feels so warm and respected because he knows jamal would never mean it in that way. so jamal has "baby" rights basically

[drawingdullahan]

Chapter 1

Jacob Collins now finds himself in the town of Hunter’s Creek, searching for the perfect material for his current novel. What he doesnt expect to find is a boy the town calls an enthusiast of the macabre.

There are no frightening scenes in this chapter, its actually just a small bit of mundane things. Jacob just has a inconveniently bad morning.

To say that Jacob had a pleasant morning was… a bit of a strong word. Decent could work, though he felt that drab fit it all quite a bit more. The bed had been very stiff as if it was old enough to have been worn down to the creaking springs that supported it, breakfast had been a no go after hearing some shouting from the inn’s kitchen, and Jacob had fumbled with his clothes this morning, walking out in a mismatched outfit before having to turn around and head straight back in to fix it. He silently hoped none of the staff had witnessed that.

The coffee shop, as it were, was only a few stores down from the inn that he had rested at. Which was lucky for him since currently he was barely functioning thanks to the aforementioned inn room stay. Hopefully they would have breakfast as well.

When he stopped, I front of the door it seemed that they had only been open for a few minutes, which was odd considering it was already almost nine. Jacob stepped in and immediately the aroma of breakfast and coffee flooded his nose. He took a deep breath and sighed, he finally found himself able to let his shoulders relax. The smell of an actual breakfast made his stomach rumble, and he adjusted his bag on his shoulder while finding a nice spot to sit at the bar.

“What can I get you today, sugar?” a woman behind the counter gave him a large smile. Had Jacob been paying more attention to her he would’ve noticed that her teeth seemed so perfect they almost looked fake, and she wore so much makeup that it was more of a detriment to her looks rather than a helpful addition. Her hand absentmindedly twirled a lock of bleach blond hair.

“Ill have a coffee and a small plate of pancakes,” he said while setting his laptop on the counter.

“Coming right up, sir,” she winked.

He smiled and waited for her to leave before giving another sigh. He expected the people of this town to be a bit much, and were he running on a good night’s sleep he figured he would be more apt to handle it. He wasn’t however, so for now he tried to focus on an outline for his currently novel.

“What brings you to Hunter’s Creek, stranger?” she asked while pouring him a cup of coffee. The smile was still present on her face, and by the looks of it, it didn’t seem forced either. He wished he could channel that much raw happiness at a time like this. If only he could sap her motivation and use it for his own. The thought wasn’t one he expected his mind to conjure up, but he supposed he could use the idea for part of his story.

“I’m looking for stories,” he responded, wondering if she had any.

“Like scoops? You with the media, Mister?” she looked at him with an accusing gaze and he quickly lifted his hands in defense.

“N-no ma’am! Not at all. I’m a fictional writer, and I was hoping to find some folktales or stories about paranormal activity in the area,” he said, but as it came out of his mouth, he realized that just sounded like a stupid excuse. Luckily it seemed to work anyways.

“Ooooh, I heard from the McDonrey’s that they had a writer stayin’ at their inn. You must be the man of the hour,” her smile slipped right back onto her face as if it hadn’t left, “We got plenty of old coots willing to talk your ear off about magic and crazy nonsense. Though, I’d be a bit careful who you talk to.”

That caught his attention and he finally looked up to make eye contact with her. He took this opportunity to see if his coffee had cooled any too. It had not, no creamer either, he would ask for that in a moment. For now, he listened intently.

“Mr. Baker. He’s always going on about crazy stories. Scares the kids half to death when he talks to him. I know he’s just messin’ around, but yeesh, how messed up do you have to be to have that many spooky stories to let loose?” she sighed and leaned on the counter. It was slow today, but then again Jacob began to wonder if this was normal for such a small town. It was oddly different than the city that he was used to.

“He just thinks up stories on his own? He doesn’t get them from anywhere?” Jacob asked with interest. If they were original works, he would gladly pay if they were good enough to cause a fright, and at this point anything new in those regards would practically be godsend. People just weren’t scared of all the classics anymore.

“Yeah, seems such a nice man until he starts telling those stories. In all other respects he’s a saint. He’s actually a regular at the shop too. It’s almost that time of day when he finally crawls out of whatever hovel he comes from,” she joked, “He doesn’t always share stories, only when the kids ask, and that’s on them.”

“What’d you say his name was?” Jacob opened a notepad on his computer so that he could write the name down.

“Trace Baker, he’s an odd one, don’t say I didn’t warn you. Once he gets to talking it just doesn’t stop.” She set down his pancakes and went to help another customer who had walked in.

Jacob could deal with a senile old man—well as long as said senile old man didn’t have a weapon. Judging from what she had said though, Mr. Baker seemed an agreeable fellow, likely with too much time in his older age to think up stories to mess with the local kids. If he talked as much as she said, then good. More information meant more inspiration. Though he figured the man might be reluctant to sell any ideas, which may end up being a problem.

As he thought he almost ended up forgetting about his pancakes, which he promptly ate now before they got cold. The coffee wasn’t any better now that it had cooled off, and it felt a bit too late and too awkward for him to ask for cream and sugar now, so he decided he would rather just deal with it.

“Coffee without creamer? You’re an odd one, stranger.”

Jacob looked up from his now empty place to the source of the voice. Next to him was a man perhaps just a few years younger than himself with a smile that felt more genuine than most he had ever seen in his life. He sat next to Jacob, which he found a bit odd considering all the available spaces still left in the café. This didn’t seem to bother the mysterious man at all.

“Ah, not something I prefer, usually,” Jacob felt a bit awkward and fiddled with his keyboard just a bit. He didn’t feel so bad as he would’ve with someone sitting next to him, after all his document was open, but it was blank for now. He never could get over people who read over his shoulder nosily.

The man gave out a bit of a chuckle at that and Jacob couldn’t really tell if he was laughing at him or with him. He gave a bit of a sigh, not one that he thought could be heard, but as his luck would have it, it was. The laughter stopped.

“Are you the writer I’ve heard about?” the man asked.

“Word travels fast here if a nobody like me gets this much attention,” Jacob took another sip of the bitter coffee.

“The town doesn’t get many visitors,” he gave a lighthearted laugh once more, “But you sure don’t seem like a nobody to me. Can I ask what you’re here for Mr…?”

“Just Jacob is fine.”

“Alright Jacob,” he started, “What brings you here?”

The other man seemed far too excited about a newcomer in the town. Far more at least than everyone else he had run int who knew that he was new but didn’t pay him any mind. Meanwhile whoever this fellow was looked ready to burst at the seams.

“Uh-“

“Trace, stop running off my customers!” The woman from before wore a large, irritated scowl. The mention of the name Trace however gave Jacob a bit of whiplash.

“Me,” he said, “but you’re the one forcing the guest to drink bland coffee.”

At that she snatched Jacob’s cup, “Crap, I forgot!” she muttered to herself before running into the kitchen. The name certainly wasn’t the only reason he was a bit shocked now. He wasn’t quite sure how to respond to a community so tightly knit that everyone seemed to act like feuding family members.

“She can be a bit forgetful, you just have to remind her,” Trace said with no evidence of bother in his voice.

“Hold on a moment,” Jacob collected his thoughts, “You’re Trace Baker? The town’s scary story enthusiast?” he would’ve found it funny if he weren’t in shock. He supposed he shouldn’t have assumed it was an old man, but the idea of ravings on paranormal activity seemed nothing short of senile.

“Yes…” his tone shifted just a little and he looked more confused now, “I wouldn’t call myself an enthusiast, but I am Trace Baker.”

[fatrainbowmermaidunicorn]

3AM Drive - Thru (JJK x You x The8/Minghao) //Chapter 8

MASTERLIST

(Feat. The ‘97 liner of the male squad idol)

“Hey Y/N, my idol friends wants to meet you. Would you like to?”

“Oh, you mean your group members?”

“Nope. My 97 liner friends. Hey, you are a 97 liner too! You can join the squad!”

“You have a 'squad’ now?” Y/N giggled. “Sure. I would love to meet them. But who’s them again?”

“My own group members, DK and Mingyu, Got 7’s Bam Bam and Yugyeom, NCT’s Jaehyun and the most popular idol of course… Jungkook from BTS,”

———————————————————–

“Jung…Jungkook?” She stuttered.

“Yes. From BTS,” Minghao looks up from his food and turned to Y/N. “Why do you sound so shocked? Are you a fan? Omg, are you secretly an ARMY?” He fake gasps. Y/N smacked his shoulders.

“Yah! No…no! You know I’m not into these k-pop things,” Y/N gave a nervous laugh. “The only group I know is yours, and that’s only because you make me listen to it almost everyday!”

“Hey, you should be thankful I’m blessing your ears AND eyes with our songs and performances,” Minghao defended himself. It is true that he had made Y/N watch every single Seventeen’s performance video out there. The only thing left is to actually get her to the concert. Which he will, soon.

“You are right. My eyes are blessed,” Minghao quirked an eyebrow to that. Is Y/N talking about him? “That Wonwoo guy is ridiculously hot. He’s really a sight of sore eyes. Especially with you around in the videos!”

Minghao eyes turned sad but starts to sparkle again when he realized that Y/N is only teasing because she laughs so hard looking at his reaction until she teared up. Minghao smiles and shoved her shoulders playfully, his heart calming down. “Yah, you should be grateful this most wanted star is actually willing to wake up just to eat some ridiculously early breakfast with you!”

Y/N, who is still laughing just nodded, “Yeah, yeah,”

“So, will you meet them?”

Y/N, finally able to compose herself nodded. “Yeah, why not. You know I will do anything for you, especially if its important to you Minghao,” she smiles and continue digging into her waffles. Just one simple smile and one simple statement, and Minghao’s heart is pounding so loudly that he’s sure people from across the world can hear him.

God, Minghao. You really have to do something about these feelings. Minghao reminds himself while patting his chest.

                        —————–

“They are still not here yet?” Bambam kept on glancing at the door of the cafe. After a lot of planning, they finally manage to set a date where everyone is available to meet Y/N.

“Why the hell are you so excited?” DK raised his eyebrows at Bambam’s giddyness.

“I’m just excited to meet the girl who is currently the talk of the town. And also, for your information, its getting kind of boring when its always just us guys hanging out,” he pokes DK’s chest while explaining.

Jungkook just sits quietly and sipped his coffee, looking calm, but in the inside he is no way near being calm. He’s definitely nervous. He wonders if Y/N knows that she’s meeting him tonight? And if she does, is she looking forward to it? Is she still angry at him? Did she really moved on? Does Minghao knows about them? So many questions lingered on his mind.

“They are here!” Jungkook turn to look at the door. His heart starts to beat even faster, out of excitement or nervousness, he himself is not sure.

He saw Minghao entered first, one hand holding the door for Y/N and the other clasping hers tightly. He was smiling widely and she was laughing at something he said. To anyone who is watching the scene, they sure look like a couple. A very much in love and happy couple. Jungkook huffed at his own thoughts and turned back to his seat, waiting for their arrival.

“Gosh she is even hotter in real life,”

“Now I really wants her to join our squad,”

“I cant wait to mock the hell out of Minghao later. Look at his stupid grinning face! That boy is in love for sure!”

“Yikes, you are right. She looks more like a celebrity than we do!”

Jungkook can hear the chatter of his friends but all he can focus on is Y/N. She caught his stare and after more than two years, they finally made eye contact. And she smiles.

                           ——————

Laughter and cackles can be heard around the table. It has been hours since they were introduced to Y/N and apparently the boys not only thinks she’s hot, but funny, witty and interesting. They enjoyed her company very much.

Jungkook did join the conversation here and there but most of the time he just keeps on staring at her. Thank God he is known for being akward to new people, so the other boys thought he is just quiet because he is meeting her for the first time. Y/N, who is too busy chatting with boys didnt notice the staring.

They bumped into each other when Jungkook came back from taking a breather outside and Y/N from the ladies’ room. They stand there akward with each other.

“Hello, Jungkook,” Y/N smiles at him. That beautiful smile that he miss so much.

“Hello Y/N,” Jungkook managed to stutter out. It feels so weird to hear her calls him Jungkook and not Kookie like she usually does. Y/N nod at him and start to make her way back to the table. “Hey, why dont we go out and talk for a bit? Its been so long since we last seen each other,” Jungkook caught her wrist before she could get away.

“Sure, why not,”

“So how are you?” Jungkook starts. He is grateful that the cafe have an outdoor section that is cozy and filled with sparkling fairy lights. It makes the environment more warm and… romantic?

“I’m so much better now. I feel better,” Y/N replied, full of sincerity.

“I saw on the news that you had chosen to reveal your identity. I’m glad you finally decide to do it,”

“Yeah. I think I’m ready now. Its about time anyway. I cant hide who I am for so long. I feel like I’m in a better place now. Happier and stronger,” with that, an akward silence seems to come between them. Jungkook spoke up after a while.

“Y/N… are we… are we okay now?” Y/N looks at him, her eyes staring holes into his soul.

“Yeah. I think we are Jungkook. I think I have finally overcome my weakness,” Jungkook dont know how to feel about that. He should be happy. He should be glad that Y/N has overcome her weakness. Her weakness of loving him too much. But his heart cant seem to be happy for her. “I never thought I can do it. But Minghao came into my life like a blessing. I dont think I can be as happy as I am today without him,”

Jungkook felt a little ached in his heart but decides to smile anyway. “That’s…. good. Are you two…?” He put two of his fingers close together, implying that he is asking if they are together.

“Oh no, no,” Y/N shakes her head. Then she smiles. “Not right now at least,” she laughs at that. “I dont think Minghao feels that way about me. But he is the best bestfriend I could ever ask for. And he is such an amazing man,”

Jungkook can hear the adoration and awe in Y/N’s words that makes him wonder if she herself didnt know that she is indeed already fallen in love with Minghao.  The word best friend felt like a slapped to Jungkook’s face. That title use to be his.

“And how about you? How do you feel about him?” too curious, he decides to ask. Jungkook knows for sure that Minghao definitely has feelings for Y/N and he will say yes in the blink of an eye if she ever asks him to be with her.

“I dont know, to be honest. During the two years we have been together, I dont think I have ever felt happier. He takes care of me and he’s always there for me. I might not know exactly how I feel but all I know is I want to see him happy all the time. I cant imagibe anything bad to happen to him. I think I will die if that ever happens,”

Jungkook ponders on her words. He can feel his heart clenching. He asks the only thing he can think of. The only way that can ensure that she will atleast be in his life again. “Hey Y/N? Can we be friends again?”

“Yes. I dont see what’s wrong with it,”

                          ————– Inside the cafe, Minghao is curious. He saw Y/N and Jungkook went out and talk at the outdoor portion of the cafe.  He finds it weird that they took so long as he knows that Jungkook is usually uncomfortable with new people. Especially girls. Minghao finally decides to just let it go and trust Y/N. Afterall they are not together for him to be jealous or angry. For all he knows, Y/N might really be an ARMY and she’s fangirling on Jungkook like crazy right now. He chuckle to that thought.

“Hey, why are laughing?” Y/N whisper to his ear while she slipped back into the seat beside him

“Oh, you are back,” out from the corner of his eyes he can see Jungkook taking his seat too. He has some kind of glow on him. Like he’s happy. Too happy. He wonders what did they talk about.

“Yeah, sorry. Jungkook and I talked,” she smiles. A smile that is enough to not make Minghao asks about their conversation. “Hey, its almost 2am,” she glanced at her watch. Minghao laughed loudly, understanding what she meant.

“Hey guys, its running late. I think Y/N and I will make a move first,” Minghao told his loud friends who are still busy chattering.

“Awhhh come on. Its the weekend. Y/N doesnt have work tomorrow! We thought about catching the last wave at that new bar nearby. Join us!” Yugyeom excitedly exclaimed.

“Nah, maybe next time. Besides, Y/N doesnt drink anyway,” Minghao explain.

“What? Really?!”

“Amazing! I’ve never met anyone our age who doesnt drink,”

“Ahh, no wonder Minghao drinks less now. Y/N, you are seriously a good influence on him. Please take care of our Minghao better,” DK winks.

Jungkook just kept his mouth shut. Y/N not drinking is one of her qualities that he love best, unlike Minji who gets insanely drunk any chance that she can.  His feelings are like a tornado today. His been feeling a lot of things tonight; happy, giddy, butterflies in his stomach, heart clenching, anger, proud and the two most confusing ones are jealousy and the feeling of being in love…

“Shut up,” Minghao smacked DK. “We have another place to be anyway. Its almost 2am,”

“Ahhhhh okay we get it. Go ahead then,” Bambam smirked, suggestively and wiggling his eyebrow. “We didnt know you guys have that kind of relationship,”

Y/N turned red in the face at what Bambam is suggesting and Jungkook feels like he’s dying. He knows he has Minji now and he did way more with her, but the thoughts of Y/N and Minghao… he just feels like punching everyone.

“Yah! Its not like that you ass!” Minghao exclaimed. “See, now you are embarassing Y/N!” The boys laugh. “We are going to the drive thru to get some chicken nuggets,”

The boys laughs even harder. “Whatttt? At almost 3 am?”

“Its Y/N’s habit okay! And apparently I am always the sacrificial lamb that has to do it with her,” Minghao grabbed Y/N’s hand and rubbed its back, an act that didnt go unnoticed by Jungkook.

“Yah! Shut up! If its not because of this habit we might never have met!”

Jungkook clenched his hands into fists under the table without realizing. He really really dont understand why he is feeling this way. It should be him that's supposed to take her to the drive thru. Him and only him.

So I guess you did find someone else who is willing to do it with you. I really wish its still me though…

———————————————————- Chapter 9 Preview

Jungkook grab her hand.

“Y/N I need to talk to you. Please,” he then turned to Minghao who starts to stand up. “And it would be wise if you do not interfere. This is between me and her,”

                            ////////

“Yah Y/N. Why are you talking to MY Kookie and his oppas like that, you psychotic fan!? Dont you know who he is? Who they are? Who I am?”

“Minji, stop it. Just-”

“Its okay Jungkook-ssi. Minji-ssi, I apologize.  I will asks someone else to assist all of you for the broadcast,”

“Y/N, you dont have to-”

“Let go of my hand Jungkook-ssi. Please respect Minji-ssi’s feelings. Afterall, I am not of importance to you,”

[richard-the-boy-wonder-blog]

I was tagged by: @rebel-eds , thanks for giving me something to do B 💓

1. last drink?: Shitty imitation coffee. 

2: last phone call?: my mommy.

3. last text message?: "okay mommy" you can only guess who i sent it to.

4. last song you listened to?: Best Friends by Grandson. (Its a banger beatbi suggest everyone give it a listen)

5. last time you cried?: Thusday night last week.

6. dated someone twice?:  Yes, and i was mistaken both times.

7. kissed someone and regretted it: I kissed a guy who only kissed me to date my mom.

8. been cheated on?: Yeah actually, and the kicker was that it was an irl relationship between me and this person and they cheated on me with someone from across the country... So.

9. lost someone special?: Not really?

10. been depressed?: Oooooh boy.

11. gotten drunk and thrown up?:  Story time! Ive been black out drunk, once. I invited my current bf over for some video games (we had been dating for like a month maybe) and i thought "boy imma get stupid and put the moved on him" drank 2 things of box wine to myself (1 box is equal to 4 glasses of wine lol) ended up getting sick really fast and left my bf to watch my younger 2 siblings while i threw up. Thats all i remember. (I think i also tried to shave my legs?)

Fave colors

12. Green (every single shade)

13. Black, like oil black so its not as dark.

14. Like a dusty brown yellow color.

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends?:  I think so? I hope so cause theres alot of people on here i just recently met that im already considering my friends.

16. fallen out of love?: Yes... Honestly its the saddest feeling in the world.

17. laughed until you cried?: I did that last night over the fact i said i wanted to become a professional hotdog juicer.

18. found out someone was talking about you?: Yeah, im a snoopy bitch.

19. met someone who changed you?: Oh yes, some of them were for the better, but this one person im thinking in particular... I wish he would stop.

20. found out who your friends are?: Yeah actually, i moved and alot of the people i considered "friends" started talking crap, and alot of the people i just considered stuck up for me.

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list?: Does my mom count?

general:

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl?: Like a solid 80% of them, others are people i briefly met at cons or whatever.

23. do you have any pets?: I have 2 kitties! My sisters fat cat Juno and my demon Leia.

24. do you want to change your name?: Not really, i feel like ive got a pretty cool name.

25. what did you do for your last birthday?: I cried and threw up on myself lol.

26. what time did you wake up today?: 8:46 am i remember because i wooe up amd the first thought i had was: "if i dont get up the carrots will attack."

27. what were you doing at midnight last night?: Editing my fic and watching School of Rock.

28. what is something that you can’t wait for?: I have a sad life thats going nowhere so i have nothing to look forward to.

30. what are you listening to right now?: California Dreamin' by The Mamas and Papas.

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom?: I worked for a guy named Tom. Tom was an asshat.

32. something getting on your nerves?: The fact that im not aloud to sing or dance around the hoyse anymore.

33. most visited website?: Tumblr lol.

34. hair color?: I had purple hair before i dyed it brown, so its kinda like orangy brown with a tint of pink.

35. long or short hair: This is a hard question because my hair is a mega floof. So it looks short but when i flat iron it its fairly long.

36. do you have a crush on someone?: Honestly.... I think so.

37. what do you like about yourself?:  Im not a huge fan of my outsides (my appearance) but i love my insides. I think im hella funny, and goofy but i know im not very pleasant to look at. But thats okay ☺

38. want any piercings: I already have my snake bites and 2 holes in each ear, but im dying to have my bellybutton, eyebrow, and either my nipples or tongue done. (Maybe a double helix UGH i dont know)

39. blood type: i think im AB positive?

40. nicknames: Jae, JJ, Jada, Scoob, scooberndude, bug, beb, moose, little angry one, you.  

41. relationship status: Taken.

42. zodiac: imma Capricorn.

43. pronouns: I mostly go by They/them, but im okay with her/she too.

44. fave tv show: Ive re-discovered 'Dan vs. Everything' and im in love.

45. tattoos: ive got 4, 1 on my left arm, 2 of my right. And one on the back of my neck (i should just face reveal and show them honestly i get asked about them so much)

46. right or left handed: left handed (imma diamond in the rouge)

47. ever had surgery: GOD NO.

48 . piercings: Yep like i said before. Ove got 6, my snake bites and 2 in each ear.

49. sport: I USE to play baseball amd hockey. (I was also on a roller derby team if that counts)

50. vacation: I haven't been on vacation since i was 8.

51. trainers: No.

more general

52. eating: I was told that you should drink water 20 minutes before eating, because dehydration can feel like hunger. I started doing that like a week ago and ive eaten maybe 4 times since 😂

53. drinking: Water 😎 (hydration is sexy, yall should go get some)

54. im about to watch: myself post this amd regret it.

55. waiting for: my mom to get home so i can come put of my room.

56. want: More records.

57. get married? After some consideration, probably not ever gonna happen.

58. career: i dunno yet, i just know i wanna go to film/art school!

59. hugs or kisses: keeses 😙

60. lips or eyes: The eyes.

61. shorter or taller: i dont really mind either, evidentally though its always tall because im short as fuck.

62. older or younger: Still doesnt really matter to me, as long as they aint a pedo.

63. nice arms or stomach: Arms, because i love being held.

64.  hookup or relationship: a relationship where you pretend not to know each other and "hook up"

65. troublemaker or hesitant: im not really either? Like im not very shy, but im not so far out there that i get in trouble.

66. kissed a stranger: Thats how you get hepatitis.

67. drank hard liquor: Yes, i still would but i get hella nervous about it (im a stoner not a drinker eeeeh)

68. lost glasses: yep! Thats why i dont have them now.

69. turned someone down: Not really. No one has ever asked me out before :/

70. sex on the first date: im a hoe and proud, but this is a major no no.

71. broken someones heart: i think so... But they broke all of me first.

72. had your heart broken: Ive had alot more than just my heart broken.

73. been arrested: Yes i was arrested when i was 9.

74. cried when someone died: Ive been crying over David Bowie for 2 years now, yes.

75. fallen for a friend: This is the only way i can get into a relationship

do you believe in…

76. yourself: Yes! I can do the thing!

77. miracles: Sadly no, ive never had one happen for me.

78. love at first sight: Kinda? Like it starts out as "i wanna punch your face in" at first site, and THEN i fall in love.

79. santa clause: yes because my papa is santa.... I seen it.

80. kiss on a first date: i always barf if someone tries to kiss me on the first date. (Not because it grosses me out but because i got bad anxiety lol)

81. angels: Absolutly because all my friends are angels 💓

82. best friend’s name: I... I dont have one? (Does my twin count? Her name is Dawn)

83. eye color: Green!

84. fave movie: Probably Pretty in Pink.

85. fave actor: Lesie motherfucking Jones! This girl is amazing, she went to an art school in Colorado for a basketball scholarship and ended up in theater and on SNL instead. I aspire to be cool enough to earn my way onto SNL.

I should tag some peepes: @trashmouthmissy @spaghetti-head-eds , @thegreatwhiteferret , @beepbeepbongoboyy , and anyone else who wants to do this can and tag me saying i tagged you 😎

[lesbiansforandrew]

Ok so @pinkislouder, @loveloveolivia and @teamnouis tagged me in this and i love you all very much ♥️ (I'm doing this on my phone bc obviously my laptop just died rip so sorry if it looks shit) Rules: Once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. At the end, choose 25 people to tag! THE LAST… 
1. Drink: fanta i think, i didnt want to but there was nothing else 2. Phone call: at work probably but thats boring so i think it was floor yesterday 3. Text message: the niall larries gc about elk her drama its hilarious 4. Song you listened to: cold (sak noel remix) - maroon 5 5. Time you cried: Lmao last night, when i had this one hour breakdown. It was ugly HAVE YOU EVER… 
6. Dated someone twice: I have never dated in my LIFE 7. Been cheated on: gonna take the same answer as amber, my friends yes 8. Kissed someone and regretted it: more like not kissing someone and regretting it 9. Lost someone special: yes 10. Been depressed: ha, very much 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: enough times for sure LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLORS: 12. soft pink 13. dark green 14. bordeaux red IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… 
15. Made new friends: definitely online and outside of the interwebs 16. Fallen out of love: cant say i've ever been in love so, no 17. Laughed until you cried: too many times to count 18. Found out someone was talking about you: oh :) enough times :) 19. Met someone who changed you: i guess, but in a good way 20. Found out who your true friends are: definitely 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: yup for sure 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: like 95% 23. Do you have any pets: not anymore :( i have cacti now :) 24. Do you want to change your name: nah i'm the only female cornetto in this family and will stay that way until i die 25. What did you do for your last birthday: basically same story as amber, went to our favorite bar, got free shots from our favorite bartender, got shitfaced, oh and in the morning floor was there and we hung around with my family 26. What time did you wake up: 5:15am bc work rip 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: probably reading fic and telling myself to go the heck to sleep 28. Name something you cannot wait for: to meet @rogueandeskimo and see harry tbh 29. When was the last time you saw your mother: uhhh i think its been 3 weeks already idk 30. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: Move the fuck out and get myself away from this toxic ass family 31. What are you listening to right now: my neighbours outside, its amusing 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: I actually had a crush on a boy named tom when i was like 6/7 didnt work out, LUCKILY 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: the fact that my laptop jUST DIED and like lets not go deeper into this 34. Most visited website: Tumblr and twitter, a surprise 35. Elementary: it was good, it was weird but a good kind, very carefree 36. High School: the best and worst time of my life, no exaggeration 37. College/university: college was good, learned a lot about myself very important 38. Hair colour: orange, ginger whatever you wanna call it nowadays 39. Long or short hair: shoulder length 40. Do you have a crush on someone: yes if niall counts 41. What do you like about yourself: Not much atm but i guess i kinda look ok sometimes and i can be funny at the right moment 42. Piercings: nope 43. Blood type: wouldnt know if my life depended on it (ha medical jokes) 44. Nickname: my last name, cornetto, ams, am, ginger, theres more on this list 45. Relationship status: couldnt be more single 46. Zodiac sign: capricorn 47. Pronouns: she/her 48. Favourite TV show: gilmore girls, grey's anatomy, orphan black, friends, jessica jones 49. Tattoos: none yet 50. Right or left hand: right FIRST… 
51. Surgery: never had one, did break a lot of bones tho so i walked around with a cast every other 6 weeks 52. Piercing: none 54. Sport: Handball, did it for atleast 7/8 years before i quit, still love that sport to bits. Loved swimming also, was very good at it but like never did competitions 55. Vacation: my parents took me somewhere to germany as i remember but i also remember going to disneyland paris bc my aunt and uncle just got married and i was their braidsmaid at the age of 4 i dont remember which one happend first 56. Pair of trainers: probably some vintage ass shoes my mom found, they were red tho i think 57. Eating: my dinner, it was a salad. My brother left me some chocolate tho so i'll probably eat that in a bit bc well i had a salad for dinner what do you expect 58. Drinking: nothing 59. I’m about to: sleep probably 60. Listening to: not sure yet, maybe harrys album maybe mitam maybe my summer playlist 61. Waiting for: good things to finally fucking happen 62. Want: to be in greece right now thank 63. Get married: Maybe one day, if i find the right person 64. Career: all i've been thinking since dropping out is how much i want to have my own b&b somewhere on the countryside in england, beautiful perfect YOUR TYPE… 
65. Hugs or kisses: I havent kissed anyone in ages jesus but i'm also a very big cuddler, no one really knows this about me i guess but i love it so i'm gonna say hugs 66. Lips or eyes: Lips fascinate me IM SORRY I KNOW ITS WEIRD dont ask lets move on 67. Shorter or taller: shorter but i dont mind anyone having the same hight as me, i dont even mind anyone taller but that doesnt happen much anyway 68. Older or younger: i prefer older but doesnt matter much actually 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: this is a stupid question it doesnt fucking matter 71. Sensitive or loud: loud for sure, love what amber said. Give me someone like louis 72. Hook up or relationship: atm i dont care but i'm definitely a relationship person 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker, bc i can be quite hesitant eventho im very adventurous HAVE YOU EVER… 
74. Kissed a stranger?: i .. have not 75. Drank hard liquor?: sure enough 76. Lost glasses contact/lenses: only a couple sunglasses 77. Turned someone down: godsjs enough times 78. Sex on first date: not sure if you can count it a date and we already knew eachother for years but anyway yes 79. Broken someone’s heart: idk probably 80. Had your heart broken: ohhh yeah 81. Been arrested: no 82. Cried when someone died: yes 83. Fallen for a friend: hahahah :) DO YOU BELIEVE IN… 
84. Yourself: I'm trying my friends 85. Miracles: I'm not sure i believe in miracles i do believe that some things happen because thats how they were supposed to be 86. Love at first sight: I dont, as amber said attraction at first sight, yes definitely 87. Santa Claus: Uh duhh, havent you watched his movies?! He's out there 88. Kiss on the first date: how can you not believe in this???? I believe in this the MOST 89. Angels: harry and louis literally exist how the FUCK can you not believe in angels OTHER… 
90. Current best friend’s name: (i HATE US but same as amber AGAIN) i dont call one person my bestfriend anymore, i have a small circle of bestfriends 91. Eye colour: green/greyish i guess 92. Favourite movie: 10 things i hate about you, clueless, the batman trilogy, catws Soooooo this took me longer than i planned, anyway lets tag @hunkyniall @yslsaint @givelarryachonce @actualhumansunshine @nowayoutalongwaydown @iicfhome @celestineal @bananasnouis @loveableirishman @peppyniall @bus1pride i want to get to know y'all, if you dont want to do this trust me i get it dont worry xxx

[underwatersleepa]

Aww shitt I was tagged by @plutohno rules: answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people.

the last: drink: Orange Juice phone call: Sheyy text message: You, Daddy topps song you listened to: beamer boy, lil peep time you cried: last night dated someone twice: ive taken a break with someone kissed someone and regretted it: i dont really regret anything just more cringe and like why the fuck did i do that been cheated on: ive had a boyfriend who flirted with other people while we were dating but never like physical. So depends on your definition of cheating lost someone special: my cat, he was my best friend and i got him tattooed been depressed: ever since 8th grade ive dealt with it. Usually in the summer it flares up a lot and during the colder months im okay gotten drunk and thrown up: Ive only thrown up like twice in my life and both were sober 
3 favorite colors:
Olive Green, Black, Grey 
in the last year have you:
 made new friends: obviously 
fallen out of love: last august i ended a two year long relationship and it was hard but we are okay now and both in happier relationships 
laughed until you cried: yes?
found out someone was talking about you: always 💅
 met someone who changed you: of course. Probably everyone in my life has changed me in some way. 
 found out who your real friends are: i do this at least once a year
 kissed someone on your facebook list: lol no me and my boy arent friends on fb lol wtf 
general:
 how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: all. There was some creepy guy who knew my ex and wanted to get together but he is blocked
 do you have any pets: i just moved out so now my dog and cat live at my old house but next week i may be getting a snakee
 do you want to change your name: for the most part but its weird when people who arent my family call me by my real name. Mickey is a better fit for me what did you last do for your birthday: my boyfriend and i hung out all day and he bought me a stuffed bear and then we went to sushi with my best friend and their bf and then my bf left and my friend and i made a cake then got high and drunk what time did you wake up: 10:30 
what were you doing at midnight last night: working 
name something you can’t wait for: just found out my boyfriend and i are going on a day trip to san francisco in two weeks for his birthday!! Also my snakee! Also i get to see shey next week for the first time in almost a month i think 
when was the last time you saw your mom: this morning 
what are you listening to right now: A new youtuber i found named Tyler Rugge 
 have you ever talked to a person named tom: yes
most visited website: youtube
 hair color: dark brown. Want to dye it black 
hair length: very short but growing it out. Its like 4inches on the top and maybe 3 on the side 
do you have a crush on someone: yes <3
 what do you like about yourself: i am loyal and funny and id like to say im a good friend
 piercings: ears when i was a baby and i hate them. I want a lip piercing 
blood type: don’t remember
nickname: Mickey, Mick. I wont say what shey calls me lol
relationship status: takenn zodiac: Aquarius pronouns: Anything really but most people go with she/her. 
 favorite tv show: how i met your mother, breaking bad, the walking dead, survivor, the office
 tattoos: 2. My cat and a ghost on a skateboard 
left or right handed: right
 surgery: not yet 😅
 sport: sport?

more general
 eating: going to have vegan mac n cheese for dinner
 drinking: Water 
i’m about to eat: see above
 waiting for: my friends to ask to hang lol
 want: a snake, cuter underwear, a bigger apartment, better job lol
 get married: probably
 career: dream one is wildlife rehabilitator. My actual job sucks but its not the worst 
 which is better:
hugs or kisses: kissinggg
 lips or eyes: 👁
 shorter or taller: in a partner i like them short and shey is only a few inches taller than me and im extremely short haha
 older or younger: doesnt matter if its only a few years difference and they are of consenting age also. Shey is a few months younger than me 
 nice arms or nice stomach: oh godddd bothh
 hookup or relationship: in the end relationship for me but nothing wrong with hookups tbh
 troublemaker or hesitant: troublemakerr 
have you ever: 
kissed a stranger: i had to think but no lol
drank hard liquor: yes 
lost glasses/contact lenses: yup but i never wear them anyways 
turned someone down: idk why but in the last year so many people have gotten crushes on me and im like wtfff
had sex on first date: um
broke someone’s heart: mutually..
 had your heart broken: yeah
been arrested: not yet 😜
cried when someone died: i cry daily so 
fallen for a friend: 70% of the time i usually fall for my friends at one point but i havent since like maybe junior year of highschool 
do you believe in:
yourself: not really at all
miracles: yes
love at first sight: no way
santa claus: who
angels: yes

other
eye color: hazel
height: 5'2
favorite thing to do: watch youtube, skype with shey, hang with friends, get high or drunk, laugh, skate, press flowers and plants, play piano or uke
favorite celebrity: neil patrick harris but i just realized the other day i dont have a crush on him anymore
favorite movie: La La Land, Moonrise Kingdom, Gone Girl

Oh mann gotta tag people now. Literally just do it and say i tagged you. I dont have enough friends on tumblr. Also non of you are even gunna read this lol

[dickgoblinpi]

i have a workplace rant

yesterday the girl i was supporting arrived and her taxi escort immediately said she’d been in a very grabby mood. she walks leaning on people’s arms, and when he transferred her from his to mine, she immediately threw her weight back as hard as she could. i knew i would not be able to support her to keep standing, so i moved to slowly lower her to the ground, but she kicked out at my legs and i lost my balance. i fell, but while i fell i made sure not to just drop her and i managed to cushion her head with my arms, which meant i couldnt prevent myself from cracking my own head off the door frame, hard

this was not a good start to the shift! we got her up and she was smiling and apparently unhurt. she sat in a seat and ate some quavers. i got an incident report and tried to fill it out, but this is very hard as she needs constant 1:1 interaction and even with that, she often just...grabs. she has a high level of intellectual disability and it seems that she grabs out because she finds people’s reaction funny, and because she likes the sensation, so she can be redirected with hand massage, other deep pressure, high fives, drumming on her hands and legs etc...but not always. like it clearly doesnt quite fill her need to scratch and squeeze. even if you are interacting with her continuously and she is happy as larry, she will still try to dig her nails in or lunge at your face while laughing. it’s also often to communicate wanting something and she’ll accompany that with angry noises. so there isnt anything we can really do to eliminate grabbing. we do what we can. 

anyway, i got the life grabbed out of me while trying to write this report, which NEEDS to be done immediately after an incident. there was nobody available on shift to help by distracting her or anything, all the managers were in a meeting (in the room with the files and the meds cupboard, during a shift, which... ???) so i just had to do my best. she tore my skin quite badly in places, like i have two deep crescent wounds on my left hand. 

once i had done the incident report, i had identified areas of her care plan which need updated and i knew we would need to outline a clear course of action to follow when she throws her weight (again it seems to be something she enjoys on a sensory level and also she finds it funny when staff stagger or tell her to stop) and i would need to talk that through with a manager to make sure we were on the right page with that. but as i said, all the managers were in a meeting, and i was on shift so i had to just proceed as normal with the girl.

 we went out for a walk (she uses a chair out and about) and came back and she started to make annoyed noises, which at 5pm usually means she wants dinner. she had a bottle of juice while i made dinner and after that was finished she started making angry noises again. all this is super consistent with her wanting dinner, and at dinner time her routine is to walk down to a quieter room in which to eat. but she didnt want to get out of her chair and she screamed when i tried to encourage her. i hate being stuck in that bind, because she was clearly telling me she did not want to get out of her chair but i am supposed to encourage her (in my opinion it crosses a line into forcing her) to walk while in the department. i tried a compromise of taking her to the table and then trying again to see if that would jog her into her normal habit - no, still screaming. fine. dinner in your chair.

then she didn’t want dinner. she always wants dinner, she’s one of the most reliable eaters we have. she’s a food lover. it was a tasty looking beef jalfrezi. she loves beef. she loves curry. she screamed at the dinner at some length. she threw the forkfuls. she pulled my hair and tried to break my glasses. i just wish she could tell me...’i hurt myself when i fell and ive lost my appetite.’ ‘i had a bad curry from here last week and it’s put me off them’ ‘im not hungry’ ‘im having stomach cramps’ ‘im too overwhelmed to eat right now’ but she cant. and when i fail to feed the kids its like i have failed to meet a basic need, like if my job was boiled down to essentials tht would be one of the biggest. it makes the whole shift feel like a fuck up

my boss finally appeared and i asked if she was on her way out, ofc she was. i told her there had been an incident and asked her about the guidance we’d need (my instincts were right) and she told me to make sure her parents were informed, update the plan, file the incident report on her desk, find another member of staff to attempt to give the girl her dinner in case i have become ‘bad cop,’ try a quieter area, try to get her out of her chair ‘oh, did she pull your hair there? anyway then do this, this, this,...’ and then she left for the day

i found a member of staff to give dinner another go in a quieter room. she did then voluntarily get out of her chair and sit at the table. but still, she screamed. i left to give the other staff member a shot, and i went and got her things prepared for personal care and filed the incident report and then i went back and the other staff member just shook her head sadly. so we supported the girl with her personal care (she made angry noises all the way to the bathroom and throughout the process which is not unusual for her in a bad mood and she very often has bad moods but i was plagued with wondering if she was hurt in some way) and then she chose to wander around the department gradually calming down. spent some time in the sensory room and the quiet room looking at the lights, playing on the waterbed. ever so slowly she reached a more settled and content level

while she was working on regulating herself, i was updating her care plan, filling out a detailed diary of the incident to go home with her and one that we keep, gathering her things to go home, cleaning up after the failed dinner etc etc. then her taxi escort did not arrive til 7.15 (should have been 6.55) i quickly informed them of what had happened and told them there was a detailed diary in her bag and could they be sure to let mum and dad know, and then i ran for my bus because if i miss the 7.20 bus im stuck out in the bitter cold for half an hour. but then the bus was 25 minutes late. the cold stung my injuries pretty badly.

this morning my boss texted me, ‘did u inform [girl]s parents and r u ok after fall?’ ‘I’m fine, I informed her taxi escort and detailed everything in the home diary’ ‘hmm, remember i told u to fone them, better to do these things in person. glad ur ok’

she literally didnt even tell me to phone them. she said i might want to phone them if the girl’s behaviour seemed to be indicating she was in pain, but it was my call as long as i made sure they were informed. i like my boss in general, but a) she lacks compassion* and b) she often talks while thinking of other things and then thinks she vocalised her thoughts when she didnt, or it was a sort of jumble in which an experienced interpreter might have been able to find that instruction but it wasnt actually clear. im not the clearest of communicators but i try not to harp on other people (especially people who have hit their head and been doing their absolute best to juggle everything that comes after) if im the one who might not have got my meaning across

its just a bit of a bitch

*dont jump on me if you lack empathy. what i mean is she frequently only considers emotionally or physically difficult situations from a logistic point of view. she has a very very limited list of exceptions which are severe physical illnesses or injuries, and grief. everything other than that gets platitudes and a cold certainty that you will be able to work and function entirely as normal (and as care staff, that is already considerably more that is expected of us as ‘normal’ than many other professions, in terms of hours, lack of support, overlapping and complex responsibilities - i dont mean that the caring part is so super difficult, but that we are constantly overstretched by scheduling and administrative considerations). if it crossed her mind that the entire situation and the pain in my head and arms might have been grinding me down somewhat, she didnt care. i dont know if it ever did cross her mind

[blvckfeint]

TAGGED BY PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPIDGE @mmmedic​

rules: once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. at the end tag 25 people!

THE LAST: 1. drink: raspberry lemonade 2. phone call: my momther 3. text message: also my momther 4. song you listened to: goodbye - neil cicierega 5. time you cried: yesterday :(

HAVE YOU EVER 6. dated someone twice: nah 7. been cheated on: i swear to fucking god if i was 8. kissed someone and regretted it: nah 9. lost someone special: yeah 10. been depressed: depressed as in Very Sad but not brain depressed 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: oh god no

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS: BLACK + DARK GRAY + TEAL

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. made new friends: not close friends, but yes! 16. fallen out of love: nah 17. laughed until you cried: like every fucking night that i cant sleep i get absolutely fucking delirious  18. found out someone was talking about you: YEAH. NOT IN A GOOD WAY EITHER 19. met someone who changed you: not in the last year but yesyesyes! 20. found out who your real friends are: yeah 21. kissed someone on your facebook list: nah

GENERAL: 22. how many of your fb friends do you know in real life: nearly all of em 23. do you have any pets: nah 24. do you want to change your name: i.. dont think so?? KC is extremely close to Kasey but idk if its worth going through all the legal trouble 25. what did you do for your last birthday: i think i went out to ihop w my roommates???  26. what time did you wake up: like 8:30-9am-ish 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: hangin out w ppl on the Auto Train down to orlando! 28. name something you cannot wait for: to go to bed 29. when was the last time you saw your mother: yesterday, and im not gonna see her again for a month :((( 30. what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: that i am able to present more androgynously 31. what are you listening to right now: tv commercials 32.have you ever talked to a person called Tom: yep 33. something that’s getting on your nerves: how every fuckin zodiac post has something about scorpios being obsessed with sex 34. most visited website: twitter/tumblr 35. elementary: not naming bc of privacy  36. high school: same as above 37. college/university: ringling college of art + design 38. hair colour: brown 39. long or short hair: short  40. do you have a crush on someone: nah 41. what do you like about yourself: im funny, and people generally seem to like me 42. piercings: nah 43. blood type: no idea 44. nickname: misha, meesh, kose, kaserito, mama, cheese.. i have quite a few. all thanks to pidge :3c 45. relationship: nah 46. zodiac sign: scorpio 47. pronouns: any, thinking of going by they/them recently.. hmm 48. favourite tv show: flavortown (diners, drive ins, and dives) 49. tattoos: none currently, but ive been thinking about one! 50. right or left hand: righty!

FIRST: 51. surgery: mole removal 52. piercing: n/a 53. [missing question] 54: sport: soccer? 55. vacation: disneyworld i think 56. [missing question] 57. eating: nothing but i just ate some Toast 58. drinking: nothin 59. i’m about to: go to bed probably 60. listening to: tv commercials still 61. waiting for: tomorrow 62. want: to go to bed 63. get married: maybe! 64. career: first job?? working at a small office near my house. currently seeking a job as a graphic designer, and i might get it soon!

WHICH IS BETTER: 65. hugs or kisses: kisses bc im thirsty 66. lips or eyes: eyes 67. shorter or taller: taaaaaaller 68. older or younger: older 70. nice arms or nice stomach: arms, tho it doesnt matter much to me!  71. sensitive or loud: sensitive.. im not a fan of loudness 72. hook up or relationship: relationsheep 73. troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. kissed a stranger: nah 75. drank hard liquor: probably. and then was immediately disgusted by it 76. lost glasses/contact lenses: nah 77. turned someone down: yeah 78. sex on first date: nah 79. broken someone’s heart: i dont know.. i dont hope so.. 80. had your heart broken: i guess...? 81. been arrested: nah 82. cried when someone died: YEAH 83. fallen for a friend: not.. really... ive had crushes on friends but thats as far as its gone

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. yourself: sometimes. lotta self doubt tho 85. miracles: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh 86. love at first sight: shrugs 87. santa claus: nah 88. kiss on the first date: if both parties are okay with it, sure!  89. angels: nah not really

OTHER: 90. current best friend’s name: PIDGE!!!!!! PIDGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PIDGEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PIDGM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!PPPPPPP 91. eye colour: brown 92. favourite movie: a tie b/t Ex-Machina and Drive

IF YOU ACTUALLY READ THIS THANK YOU 

I TAG ANYONE WHO WANTS TO DO THIS

[march17]

@jarfulofglassanimals tagged me to this monster! :D

🌻  rules: once you have been tagged, you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. At the end, choose 25 people to tag.

🌻 LAST…

1. Drink: chai latte

2. Phone Call: brother, it was his birthday

3. Text Message: does whatsapp count? my groupchat with some friends

4. Song You Listened To: Everything Black, by Unlike Pluto

5. Time You Cried: yesterday, I was watching Rogue One again

🌻 HAVE YOU EVER…

6. Dated Someone Twice: no, over is over

7. Been Cheated On: yes

8. Kissed someone and regretted it: yes

9. Lost someone special: yes

10. Been depressed: yes

11.Gotten drunk and thrown up: yes

🌻 LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLORS…

12. dark green

13. dark red

14. dark purple (wow, why so dark hahaha)

🌻 IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU…

15. Made new friends: yes

16. Fallen out of love: yes

17. Laughed until you cried: yes

18. Found out someone was talking about you: yes

19. Met someone who changed you: many!

20. Found out who your true friends are: yes

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: yes

🌻 GENERAL…

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: all of them

23. Do you have any pets: not where i live now, dorm doesnt allow it. I have a dog in Mexico, I had to leave her when I left my boyfriend, and I have a cat at my dads house, tho I dont go there anymore since he threw me out

24. Do you want to change your name: no

25. What did you do for your last birthday: oh boy! My last birthday was a week ago and it was amazing! I had lectures till 2 and then we went to eat vietnamese food, it was amazing how many people showed up and i felt so loved i cried! then we went for cocktails and dancing, i came home 24hours after i woke up that day xD

26. What time did you wake up today: 7 but i went back to sleep until 10

27. What were doing at midnight last night: saying good night to ppl

28. Name something you cannot wait for: this bachelor thesis to write itself

29. When was the last time you saw your mother: christmas, but Ill see her again in april

30. What is one thing that you could change about your life: my life is pretty neat at the moment, even the bad experiences in the past are part of that. I wouldnt be who i am without it being like it is, so .... nothing?

31. What are you listening to right now: nothing right now, which is a first

32. Have you ever talked to someone named Tom: my uncles name is Thomas, does that count? if not, then no

33. Something that gets on your nerves: people who are arrogant and mean, just because they can

34. Most visited website: tumblr....

35. Elementary: first one was nice, lots of friends, second one noone would ever talk to me

36. Secondary: went to the good one after my teachers told my mom i was too stupid for it, she send me in anyways. I redid a year and met my first friends there who, during uni, promptly left me

37. College: studying right now, met a whole lot of crazy people, never met so many genuine and odd and kind people at once

38. Hair colour: brown

39. Long or short hair: short

40. Do you have a crush on someone: oh boy, when do i not? (actually, currently I dont, which is unusual)

41. What do you like about yourself: i know im emotionally very strong and im kind, ive once been told that i am so authentically and unappologetically me that it gives people the courage to be that too, and i find that an amazing trade to have

42. Piercings: yes, a septum and a total of 6 earrings

43. Blood type: A+

44. Nicknames: Jo and Hanna

45. Relationship Status: single

46. Zodiac sign: pisces

47. Pronouns: she/her or they/them

48. fav Tv show: Brooklyn 99 is my favorite right now, an all time loved one is scrubs

49. tattoos: yes, my starsign as a constelation on my left ribcage, i also want the great dipper on my shoulder and a jellyfish and a fish somewhere

50. right or left handed: left

🌻 FIRST…

51. surgery: nosejob, had some issues there since i was 5 and only with 18 was I allowed to get it fixed

52. piercing: earrings, i guess? if not, then the septum which was last year (i freaked the guy out bc i kept staring him straight in the eyes as he rammed the metal rod through my nose, he said that never happened before, bc they usually look away. little did he know i was daydreaming)

53. best friend: her name was Lotte, and she only talked to me when she was alone

54. Sport: bicycle i guess? I went to school with it. If not, Judo

55. Vacation: if i remember correctly, Rekyavik, by ferrie, apparently i was about 2

56. Pair of trainers: they were red, i had a matching red track suit, my mom still has the shoes

🌻 RIGHT NOW…

57. Eating: had a sandwich half an hour ago

58. Drinking: water and chai latte

59. i’m about to: watch assassins creed

60. listening to: nothing rn

61. waiting for: nothing really, going to work this evening, so maybe that?

62. want: cucumber water

63. get married: nah

64. career: i work at an irish pub here, we have about 1000 different kinds of whiskys and such. its just part time tho.

🌻 WHICH IS BETTER…

65. hugs or kisses: depends on the person

66. lips or eyes: both

67. shorter or taller: doesn’t matter

68. older or younger: doesn’t matter

69. romantic or spontaneous: spontaneous

70. nice arms or nice stomach: doesn’t matter

71. sensitive or loud: sensitive

72. hook up or relationship: hook up i guess, i really dont want a relationship rn

73. troublemaker or hesitant: both can be fun

🌻 HAVE YOU EVER…

74. kissed a stranger: yes

75. drank hard liquor: yes

76. lost glasses/contact lenses: yes

77. turned someone down: yes

78. sex on first date: it wasnt a date

79. broken someone’s heart: yes

80. had your own heart broken: yes (it breaks so easy)

81. been arrested: no

82. cried when someone died: yes

83. fallen for a friend: after we stopped being friends, i realized that yes

🌻 DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

84. yourself: sometimes

85. miracles: not really, but sometimes its just funny coincidence

86. love at first sight: no

87. santa claus: lol

88. kiss on the first date: thats up to the person, really

89. angels: no

🌻 OTHER…

90. current best friend’s name: I have quite a bit, but one of them is here so @dmacor

91. eye colour: brown-green

92. favourite movie: oh man, idk