#its actually so good tho to be forced to have so much editing time

[euripidestrousers]

It's driving me absolutely feral that I can't just yap to the tumblr void about the new fic I'm writing for padfootfest bc it's supposed to be anon

I'm foaming at the mouth to BLAB. The setting, the dynamics, the themes, the dialogue ahhhhh

I'm an impulsive little shit who usually posts a new chapter one day after completing it but this requires restraint and patience and I am Unwell about it

[bmpmp3]

the really beautiful landscape/skyscape animation in makoto shinkai's works tends to be the big thing i see focused on and that is understandable and deserved like the weather and lighting effects are unREAL but i do think we should also appreciate how absolute insane the plotlines of his original movies get. at least two movies with in universe catastrophes with major ecological implications. the guns and explosions. theres that one movie i havent seen yet with the guy who turns into a chair (?)

[oh-no-its-bird]

Ok, so. Smashing together my recent posts (stoner Itama / the secret Senju weed empire money / co-dependent twins Itama and Tobirama) to make a cohesive narrative:

So, Itama survives AU.

In this, Itama and Tobirama are twins. They're very close, arguably closer to each other than Hashi is to either of them.

Growing up, after Kawarama died, Hashirama found a new friend in his boy by the river. Meaning the twins were sort of left to mourn on their own, their older brother no longer as interested in playing with them. They got to be almost dangerously codependent, and their father only encouraged it bc they were also training to fight as a duo, and the codependency made the team synergy go crazy hard.

On that note, they're absolutely terrifying in battle together for sure. They're nightmares on their own already, but together?? Let's say that as long as they're fighting side by side, they're on the same level as Hashirama himself.

Itama grows up to be a scientist like Tobirama, but in a different field of science— ✨️plants✨️

Itama is like, a bioengineer for plants. He's crossbreeding the fuck out of these bad boys, finding ways to amplify certain traits in some plants, erase them altogether in others, or mixing them up for the best of both worlds. Full doctor Frankenstein plant edition

It's fun bc he often gets help from both of his brothers, and he's also able to help the both of them in turn!

Hashirama helps with growing plants, meaning Itama doesn't have to wait the years this research would usually take. He can go from nothing to having his final product in days flat when it should have taken a fucking lifetime to do. If he fucks up it's no stress bc as long as he has the seeds, Hashirama can just grow him a new plant to start from! All he needs is one single seed and an entire world of new possibilities is unlocked.

On top of all that, the mokuton can affect the plants in ways growing by regular time doesn't, so Itama also gets to play with special mokuton plants too

Then Itama can give Hashirama all sorts of new plants to potentially use in battle, tho Hashirama doesn't seem to want to use want against the Uchiha. But like. He has them!! And it's fucking terrifying!!! Plus they can just in general bond over being plant enthusiasts. If Hashi finds a cool new plant or vice versa they can get excited about it together

Tobirama understands all to most of Itama's research, at least in theory, and will often help with his experiments. Likewise, Itama also understands all to most of Tobirama's own research (at least in theory) and can help him in return. Having their own specific fields of interest, they're often bringing a fresh pair of eyes and different thought process to the others experiments, and it's great for them both. SO many results.

Itama is let in on most of Tobirama's projects, and even if he's not helping he generally knows what he's working on and vice versa. They have few secrets and its actually just in general very good for Tobirama specifically. Like, mentally and support wise.

Because Itama never died to serve as that final push over the edge, and was instead there to offer emotional support, Tobirama didn't turn to necromancy. (If he had tho, Itama would have been fully on board— sorry Hashirama) Instead, maybe he's spending that time being even more focused on cool time/space jutsu or something.

So like, all grown up he's a poison specialist with a major wind chakra attribute and minor fire attribute. His main weapon is a pipe, which he just smokes normally on top of using its smoke as a weapon. He can put so much pressure into the smoke that it becomes physical, and can then be used as a blunt force weapon (on top of ofc the smoke being used as just smoke, and having different effects on its own)

He's immune to a lot of his smokes effects, but has special extra powerful versions of most of his go to weaponized smokes that are so strong they work even on him. Obviously, he doesn't usually use these in battle, but they're there as a last resort

Fun sort of chain reaction attack where he disperses some super flammable powder or smoke then tosses in a single spark and it goes up like fucking fireworks. Or a cool combo attack where Tobirama provides hella fog with whatever water is nearby, and Itama condenses it so thickly that it chokes out their enemies without having to lift a single finger.

He can make like, platforms of smoke to stand on or use as shields, and he's especially good at deflecting and redirecting enemy attacks with carefully condensed smoke shields summoned up at just the right angles. Like, imagine you throw a kunai and it bounces off some invisible platform, then off ANOTHER invisible platform, and somehow its still gaining momentum (propelled by summoned winds or wrapped in a slightly solidified veil of smoke thats moving it on its own) and hits you right in the eyes

He absolutely fucks around with making all SORTS of custom effects with whatever he's smoking, which also brings us to the idea that got me here in the first place ->

Ok so the joke about the Senju having a secret weed empire where they sell ultra special mokuton weed, but it happens fr in this AU bc of Itama.

Stoner Itama deciding he can make the weed even better and forgetting what the word self-control means and making objectively the best weed in the naruto world. Ultra delux genetically modified mokuton grown senju weed.

Tobirama kind of gets on him for it at first (not liking the idea of mind-altering substances) but then tries some and stares dead silent at a wall for 10 hours then silently gets up, makes several scientific breakthroughs, then passes out dead on the floor.

They get Hashirama in on it and start mass producing, then start selling it and very quickly and mostly accidentally create a secret senju weed empire (oops?) which also gives them hella funds or the war and other things

No one can even reproduce their weed bc they need the Mokuton to grow it right, they have no competition in the market. AND their product safety/quality is insane bc Tobirama's perfectionist ass helps oversee it

Bc of Itama's interference, Izuna lives, and when they make Konoha the weed money means the first shinobi war doesn't happen bc they can afford to bribe officials they couldn't before (and probably have a uhh. Much more relaxed Kage meeting that year.)

You can't go to war with Konoha !!! That's where all the best ninja weed comes from !!!

Itama and Izuna get along really well actually. Izuna's cringe fail ass does NOT know how to smoke and refuses to admit it, he also becomes Itama's favorite test subjects for new product bc he and his brothers tolerance levels are insane so they need like, a normal guy to try shit on

As a person, Itama is one of those really friendly, charming, easy to get along with guys who seem to have a ton of friends— but when you look a bit closer you quickly notice that while many of those friends share their woes with him, he doesn't really with them. He has lots of friends but isn't really close to any.

He's a pretty good mix of his brothers, seeming friendly and cheerful like Hashirama but much more down to earth, and with the same ruthless streak as Tobirama underneath all the gentle mannerisms. He might be more ruthless than either of his brothers when it really comes down to it, but he's very slow to strike or anger, and virtually no one but his brothers and Touka really know he even has that side to him.

He's Konoha's lead poisons expert, is 100% aware and helping Tobirama with all of his especially fucked up experiments, and honestly that should tell you enough— but most tend to get distracted by the soft smiles and sleepy expression.

Art interlude ->

Anyways uhhh. All of this only exists bc I started thinking ab stoner Itama getting dumped face first into modern Konoha with Izuna, the two of them having been hiding after pissing off Madara for unimportant reasons. They don't realize they're not in their Konoha, and proceed to run from Madara (who they still think is mad at them)

Meanwhile Madara is losing his fucking MIND trying to chase down the ghost of his brother, and also some guy...? Who is that actually? He doesnt really give a shit tbh, Izuna oh god please come back here— ARE YOU FUCKING HIGH RIGHT NOW?

@fashionredalert : Zetsu lived in fear of Itama because itama would have made him into an edible That's why zetsu is two colors, itama smoked one half of him before zetsu managed to escape. One half intact the other half charred black

Please?? The closest hes been to death in years.

Itama was put on this earth to smoke everything he physically can, he hasnt been sober since he was 13, he no longer knows the meaning of fear or sanity. If it can burn he can smoke it

Hes holding one of those tiny Zetsu's going "Hey look at this fucked up plant I found :DD" then taking it straight into the weed lab

Zetsu specifically had him killed in canon bc he knew he'd grow to be too powerful pass it on

[moonlit-dreamers]

Can you rate all Eclipse ships?

*rubs my grubby hands together* i abso-fuckin-lutely can

the lower they go doesnt mean "i despise it" (unless specified) its just that i dont find it interesting/dont personally ship it/never think about it. this also wont include poly ships bc then i just Wouldnt Stop. btw im not gonna edit this so if some shit is typed wrong then uh . sucks ig hjgfjhfh

eclipse/solar - 10/10 - nothing could be better than this. this is my otp above sun/eclipse. nothing can be improved upon bc it is perfect. learning to love urself by loving another version of urself? SIGN 💥 ME 💥 UP 💥

eclipse/sun - 10/10 - second thing i ever shipped (first was sun/solar <3) and its stuck with me ever since. enemies to lovers. wonderful. scrumptious

lord eclipse/sunvant - 10/10 i say this counts to be added to the list bc i fucking can. theyre also my otp. toxic codependency. sunvant having pure blind devotion to lord eclipse despite everything hes done to hurt him? GHOD

eclipse/sunbeam - 8/10 - grumpy cat x golden retriever. or maybe a yorkie with how much sun yaps ghdfghfgh. he'd probably act so fucking annoyed with how much sunbeam yaps but in reality he actually pays attention to all of it bc despite how little of it makes sense its actually entertaining

eclipse/moonshine - 8/10 - theyre nerds that kiss each other. they work on games and random projects together. theyre wonderful

eclipse/ruin - 8/10 - okay im actually writing these out of order and i was almost done THEN FUCKING FORGOT THIS. toxic yaoi at its finest. while ruin is still forcing eclipse to work for him he gets Silly™️ and just goes "i can do whatever i want and nobody will stop me" and ofc he does. if that includes torture or messing with him until his mind breaks then thats up to you. would this be accurate to canon ruin? absolutely not. do i care? fuck no <3

eclipse/dark sun - 7/10 - ADDING THIS IN EDITING BC I WAS FUCKING STUPID AND FORGOT THEM OTL. this the good shit. toxic yaoi. i have thoughts but theyre all gone rn idk wtf happened to them so imagine i made a shitty summary of a fucked up scenario

eclipse/old moon - 7/10 - gwuh creator/creation beloved. idk man. it could either be healing and fluff or angst and toxic. you pick <3

eclipse/solarflare - 7/10 - again. creator/creation. im unwell. AND YET ANOTHER COULD BE TOXIC OR FLUFFY. me thinks onesided pining from sf while eclipse is either oblivious or ignores it would be fun. OR they both use it as a chance to explore bc why not :3

eclipse/earth - 6/10 - not my favorite but its good for fluffy shit. idk why but every time i decide to doodle eclipse being flustered its always with earth. she just appears and makes it her job. idk what to do my hands just move on their own

eclipse/nexus - 5/10 - lower than old moon bc i just dont find it as interesting

eclipse/lunar - 5/10 - personally not that interested in it. but if you bring it up in the middle of a conversation another alter WILL come running over. he responds to it faster than his own damn name. ask him and he'd start going OFF.

eclipse/ballora - 4/10 never think about it but it could be fun

eclipse/bloodmoon - 4/10 - think it could be fun. again, could be toxic or fluffy.

eclipse/killcode - 4/10 - yet another "good ship but not personally interested". tho i think it could be fun. giant soft monster x angry small creature

eclipse/puppet - 3/10 - i like it more than puppet/foxy but thats only bc its eclipse added. i just. i dont like puppet. shes getting better but for a while she was SO annoying to me and i just. my opinion is tainted 😔

eclipse/vincent - 2/10 - i can see it? maybe? who fuckin knows lol

eclipse/anyone else - 1/10 - im just lumping everyone else into one thing so i dont go on forever. basically just the "never thought about it and probably wont continue thinking about it" ships

[ganondoodle]

i know i said i wouldnt be ranting about totk anymore, but i realized i didnt really count the sage dungeons as story (dont ask me why) so i thought im gonna write a better summarized version of my opinion about totk (i have around 60% of the game, all lightroots, not yet all shrines (missing like .. 20 or so, know the reward), not all krogs (dont know the reward), not all mayoi (half know the reward?) )

(in no particular order)

good stuff (in my opinion)

the. MUSIC! god the music is good, it was good in botw too but now with much more different bosses it really is probably one of my fav soundtracks of all time (most fav are all three phases of the end fight, the pre-fight to that, the build up one before all of those, Frosgeira (wind tempel boss) the glorious mASTER KOGA and more tbh)

the build up and end boss fight(s) are fantastic, i dont think im ever not gonna have my heart racing when approaching it (despite now skipping almost the entire way bc i set a teleport thing right before it) just bc the build up is so well made and the music(again) is such a banger and the fight(s) itself is so fun too, tbh i keep wanting to play it just bc its so fun

i LOVE how many themes play into the music (endfight alone had so many layers, fav probably is ganondorfs classic theme and calamity ganons both in the same piece among much more, and daruks theme in the fire temple)

(edit) YOU. CAN. TOUCH. DA. DRAGONS!!!!

ganondorf

ganondorfs design (x3)

ganondorfs weapon designs

ganondorfs voice (japanese)

everyone elses voice (japanese)

all voices (german)

thE YIGA!!! i love everythign about them and am so happy they got to be more than just some mini mission

(edit) also the fact that they get zonau tech to work without any special ghost powers is so ????

(edit) koga can summon and use zonau tech unlimited?? hes so cool

NO stealth mission!! (as far as im aware)

bosses are very different from each other

main dungeons are not too short and not too long and mostly fun (mostly bc i personally didnt like the gerudo one), i love that you can still somewhat cheese them and do them your way

sages felt like they got a bit more involved

(edit) you gotta do more stuff before getting to the actual dungeons and i really like that, feels less like a fetch quest but that you are actually helping

(edit) each sage is actually there in the dungeon and is required for it, which is great!

each settlement saw a much bigger danger/change (tho that has more impact if you have played botw) and its problems felt much more real

shrines are well varied tho i think overall a little easy (only got stuck on two so far and later solved them easily bc when i first started them i was tired and exhausted, no brain left lol)

NPCs felt less flat + more bigger sidequests that felt like they had more impact

cool new monsters + designs

the underground was pretty appropiately creepy

the sages abilities are neat

you can refight bosses!!

stable points system is a neat way to encourage you using them

weapon fusing is neat

(edit) the forest of the krogs being corrupted like that is both creepy and a neat nod to oot

(edit) the vai gerudo outfit being gone!! (one) evil has been defeated

(edit) the health bar going so far off the middle in ganondorfs second phase is honestly just funny hnjdfdjk unfortunate that you only need the master sword and with a few perfect dodges his health melts like butter in the summer

(edit) the music when dragondorf transforms sounds so sad .. its probably meant as a oh no world is actually ending sad but i like to think of it as a oh god what did he do to himself sad

the scene where rauru seals ganondorf kinda fruity

(graphic, animations and the overall world is still fantastic)

bad stuff (in my opinion)

everything zonau they feel forced into every bit of the world and its history (i know them being somewhat alien is intentional but not like that) it feels crammed into places they werent before and shouldnt be and it makes it all feel very artificial

the glyphs/dragon tears/memories really ruined alot for me, while it gave you insight as to what happened, it felt like it showed you too much and too little at the same time and i think it would have worked better if it was all in text for once if even at all, so the past stil stayed a mystery and youd be left wondering

timetravel .. really wasnt necessary and felt more like an excuse to get rid of zelda + make her the poor little sacrificial girl again + and to make her turning into a dragon as tragic as possible, like nothing but a stepping stone to the big reveal tm

shiekah tech being not just fully irrelevant but practically erased, wiped off the world (i know about the literally last guardian parts in hateno, it feels more like an oversight tbh, purah technically using it ... tho i dont think she ever calls it that, the purah pad is jsut the sheikah stone but worse), there being no good explanation, no remains, nothing as to why it would suddendly stop working and why even the titans and ESPEICALLY the shrine of life would be destroyed, if anything why wouldnt you enshrine it as a memento to history it was such a focus in botw and so well integrated into the world that it being fully gone, not even old overgrown, or visibly reused to build homes etc., or remains of how they built the og shrines in the underground feels like a HUGE missed opportunity (seriously it would have been so easy to make the ancient shiekah base their tech on old zonau tech, without stealign the gocus but buildign a connection)

all of the continuity problems, totk feels like botw didnt happen and the excuse of 'they didnt want to confuse new players' doesnt make a lick of sense in my eyes bc; its supposed to be a sequel, if you want it to be a standalone game then dont call it a sequel- if you start to play a game with the sequel instead of the first part its your own damn fault if you get confused; if anything, it would have been a good opportuntiy to make people interested in botw so theyd buy and play that one too

ganondorfs character is very flat, you basically get to know nothing about him (yuno even calls that out midgame but its never elaborated upon nhgfrdfhkk)

the zonau and their kingdom of hyrule is presented as this so perfectly good thing to such a degree it turns creepy, the end cutscene with mineru going poof was kinda uncomfy to watch tbh

the reward for all shrines being essentially a reveal as to who the hero in the tapestry was and it being, of course, some weird half zonau is the lamest answer to a mystery i didnt want an anwser too, it doesnt feel like it came naturally either (again my point of the zonau being forced into everything)

the shrines (zonau) feel so much more unnatural than the shiekah shrines, alien in a bad way and not in a good way + really are like a bad reskin of them, their sudden appearance and use is so much less logical

back in botw i was doubtful of if the shiekah tech wasnt going to far too modern tech and cause it all to feel like a bad mix of modern tech and medival fantasy, but they balanced it perfectly (tho the eponator zero was very much the limit imo) but the zonau tech .... oversteps that line i think, it really does feel, more than anything else, that it was just bc they wanted the stuff to be in there bc it might be fun to play around with, im not against that kind of stuff mind you im all for fun, but it feels a little like they thought of a box with endless stuff to play with first and a zelda game second (if you get what i mean)

quite a few quests or things in the game seem like they are more and then end in a dead end (the worst of all is impa saying she wants to go research what could help zelda turn back, and i was excited and convinced that shed give me a quest to find some mcguffin that would do that after i beat ganon but there wasnt anything you could actually do; less bad one but disappointing nonetheless the dongos were mentioned and treated like this big awesome thing from alot of NPCs all around the map and then when you find them they are bascially just gem vending maschines)

the way zelda turns back and link gets his arm back is incredibly unsatisfying, none of them even have something like a scar, or mark from it all, zelda spent thousands of years as a dragon (a transformation that was said to cost your soul but i guess that wasnt true) and link had his arm bascially eaten by miasma and he gets it back like it was never lost, zelda returns all intact as if nothing happened, getting blasted by some magic tm by two ghosts that were supposed to be long gone is the solution to all problems!!

(edit) link losing an arm wouldnt just be super intersting but also lend itself well to lead up into the next game where his prothesis is the focus and source of abilities

(edit) zelda got done so dirty, instead of her actual interests and character to shine she just gets shoved into yet another crisis surrounded by strangers in a world that looks like hers but isnt, and all she does is beg the ancient sages to swear to help link and sacrifice herself again (can you call that fridging? bc she sure feels like she got fridged) i like zelda and i dont like how much i didnt care about her and tbh im angry at the game for that

(edit) both link and zelda not even slightly changing in the years btween botw and totk kinda boring, like a haircut can only do so much

(edit) sonia really is the wife that dies to make husband sad thing isnt she? i get that gan had to get his hands on an enigma stone but i feel like there had been better ways to do that, the fact that she dies that easily is almost funny honestly, why does ganondorf even have weapons when he can just one punch people to death (tho i find it funny to imagine he can literally just kill people in one punch but hes too prideful to do it most of the time so he always uses weapons to look more cool)

(edit) so many new characters that you barely get to see or interact with, i really ... couldnt get myself to care much

(edit) zonau tech being so irrelevant to the games story while its also the focus is .. weird, its really just play doh for the players and nothing else honestly

(edit) monsters mining sonanium feels strange bc ... they dont do anything with it? the best thing i can think of is that they were told to do that so link cant .. upgrade his battery thignies? but then again you could just destroy the mines and remaining constructs to stop it .... also you really dont need anything zonau tech related to beat gan?

(edit) ganondorf beign so utterly uninterested in their tech is weird considering how he dealt with shiekah tech (and we KNOW it can get corrupted) he should be a tech nerd tbh

my twitch VoD of the first time beating the game getting muted at the credits despite me talking over it

nitpicks (in my opninion)

(edit) ganondorf should have a bit more of a boar inspired design, as treat, i think

(edit) the enigma stone wandering back to ganondorfs forehead even after transforming is? weird? i guess an excuse for da epic last stabby but still? (how cool would it have been to have to plunge into his mouth and break it there or something)

(edit) the underground gets a lil old after a while, the fact that its pretty much the same everywhere aside from some .. very strange flowing magma is a lil boring

(edit) ganondorf could have gone way more crazy with abilities and all that, imagine hed spwan multiple miasma arms on himself when you get him to a certain level of health

(edit) i miss unique weapons, there arent even normal axes around anymore, everything is about fusing really, i miss the cool shiekah tech weapons

(edit) the forest of the krogs being largely irrelevant is kinda weird

(edit) mineru being the sage of spirit still is kinda meh, the robot is neat but i thought tauro or purah would be the surprise sage tbh

(edit) the bosses were a little easy (i did boldo gohma rather early and did it without even getting hit)

you cant talk to koga normally :(

you cant find koga again after the last fight :(

you cant refight him (to my knowledge) :(

i find it very strange that yuno seemingly lost daruk shield, despite him having inhereted it in botw

the sage powers are not .. very great integrated, while its fun to haven them run around and help you fight, to actually use their powers you have to chase after them, something that in the heat of a battle is very annoying to do, constantly activating the wrong on or them losing their charge up when they get knocked over is like trying to herd a wild pack of geese while a three headed dragon is shotting laserbeams at you

some widlife just disappearing all of the sudden is very strange (like the rhino in hebra)

some new houses or settlements would have been cool, that the material things at the sides of roads are really only for you to play around with and not to build anything that lasts

you cant fight ganondorf (non dragon, even the dragon is locked to that evening sky) in the sunlight, night or rain, i would have loved to fight him at various times of day

their refusal to show any kind of blood is honestly turnign serious scenes into very awkward ones, sonia just getting punched and she dies with not even like, losing some spit from the force or something, or the fact when you defeat ganondorfs second phase he acts mortally wounded but doesnt even look scratched is just :/

amiibo stuff while neat being included its really mostly just bloating your inventory, if i wanted 5 vaguely different link outfits then i would have gotten the amiibo for it

why hide the -now-totally-not-phantom-ganon-armor- behind such a long questline and then .. have that NOT be upgradable

they put in a house building thingy and then not let you have a roof or a tree or something :(

at some point stable points jsut get you more and more of those free staying over night tickets that i maybe used .. once at the very start and now its just accumulating in my inventory

only one new horse coat pattern :(

satori now only being a thingy that shows you caves is kinda boring, i loved the mystery around it in botw (additionally, that it shows you caves you have completed already kinda sucks)

the end of the shrines isnt that cool anymore, speaking to a mummified monk that gives you essentially his last remains of life energy is so much cooler than a statue of the oh so awesome god king and his wife

the many references and reuse of old names is neat but together with timetravel etc. it easily leads to confusing and fighting among fans for who is more 'right' and its just .. tiring

(edit) considering how much of the advertising was about the sky islands i wished there were more and bigger ones, the underground (that was a little one sided after a while, it all looking the same rly) could have been alot smaller if the sky was bigger instead

(edit) i wished there was more of a sense of .. lost life in the ruins you find, from all races, the ancient ruins are jsut some bridged and ceremonial stuff and i wished there were more like .. houses, like people actually lived there and it not being all around beign a platform for you

(edit) the fact that the half zonau hero exists mean either rauru and sonia had kids but those were clearly not important enough to ever show nor mention, or there were other mixing of them before they all mysteriously died out the fact that the ancient hero was half zonau means their genes survided till then but somehow it never came up? the tapestry still exists and impa and purah say like its a well known fact that the hero looked like that (not at all close to any modern species) when you talk to them while wearing it (the fact that the hero armor thingy is very reminiscemt of ganondorf is like some backtreading bc we were theorizing about the hero having been ganondorf once and they wanted to stop that .. but the more funny thing is the HC of its a descdendet of rauru and ganondorf nhjdfknhdgkfnhkfd) (edit to add to the HC; the game being a big battle about child support is funnier than it should be idk if nintendo knew what they were doing adding details like that)

all in all it just feels like missed opportunities, lost potential, and more a game build around some game mechanics they really wanted to get into than telling a neat story, espeically so bc they called it a sequel, most of my complaints wouldnt be there if it was some alternate thing instead

i probably forgot stuff but if i think of more i will add them later with a little note that it was added in an edit (sidenote, i find it funny how much more nuance that whole conflict would get if rauru and ganondorf were bitter exes bfdrjfbdfndk)

[caffeinatedattorney]

Final thoughts! I'm going to talk about the aspects of the game bc I'm not thinking abt this anymore in a few days and I might as well since it's fresh in my mind. Also I didn't play it, I watched someone play it so I won't speak abt gameplay at all.

Harvey and Bruce are very much not okay. This batman is so angry and he's so desperate to save people. He's caught up in vengeance (defending Leslie and harvey) but clearly isn't sure what his modus operandi is just yet. That and he isn't seasoned so ppls deaths affect him and make him blame himself and hesitate. (when the inmate in black gate is pronounced dead.)

I was not expecting it to go hard on the trauma and abuse and how children act after said trauma, much less show it which was surprising! It is triggering but, depending how much you can handle, that makes it all the more engaging and heartbreaking.

I find it interesting how Bruce is the one prone to violence. He hits Harvey after Harvey says something from their fav show that triggers Bruce. I doubt ppl ever write Bruce being autistic but both Bruce and harvey come off to me as on the spectrum. With their fixation on justice, the fact they seem to be old enough to stop playing pretend but still do (though that could be just arrested development from trauma) and it seems to be their happy place as harvey is his loudest around Bruce and in the, what is it, rehabilitation center? Also they don't seem to have (m)any friends.

I remember this plot point from my own worst enemy and I like how it works here. I'm glad Leslie has a big role and connects everything together. (her telling Bruce off for making voices at her LMAO)

Harvey is more affected than Bruce is bc his trauma continues well into adulthood. He never left his fathers house, never stood up to him. I don't need him to articulate why but it feels so real and fitting and sad and I love it? It makes me feel things that he had a support system with Bruce and Leslie even if it seemingly wasn't enough.

I have a theory that the Rat King moniker is Harvey's self loathing coming to life and becoming his bigger-than-life mask. Bruce has the bat and harvey the rat. One soars through the skies and intimidates, the other burrows underground for safety and cohabitates to survive (and forms a cult)

Harvey's dissociation and the DID name drop ough. ("am I psychotic?!" ) I just felt bad. Dudes mental barriers are so high up he loses track of time (and probably feels like he's getting sucked underground). It hits hard that Bruce is one of the things that ground him despite the fear and disorientation. Wish we had seen Gilda tho. Unless they're meant to be separated?

And fuck, Harvey's voice. He's so meek and unsure the whole game. His little jokes ("this one was right outside my office. *pause* I'm fine by the way" ) . He gains strength when angry and when full of disdain (talking to matches) which is to be expected but goddamn that performance killed me. Leslie has to remind him to calm down ("be good" "be good" he repeats in an almost childish voice ) Too real. too good. He thinks of himself as weak until he's backed agaisnt the corner (when he was about to get shot he screams "Do it you coward!" )

Edit: I have this Hc of harvey putting a big front the way Bruce juggles batman and Bruce Wayne and the fact it's been validated makes me wanna go harder on it and harvey being autistic and the pressures and stress he must face. End edit.

Also interesting how they have Bruce and harvey call each other brother. Didn't want for it to come out too gay? I will say, it feels forced but I haven't sene anyone else mentioned bc its that inconsequential I guess.

I loved babs trying to help Bruce despite his attempts to push her away. ("I'm taking this crowbar" and he actually says "don't care!" ) also apparently when she leaves she turns a few times fuming and you can see it in detective mode lmao

Overall, better than I expected? I wasn't expecting harvey to be important at all. Hate the bait and switch and the fact it's a vr game bc I'll never get to try this lol. I'm glad they could expand on why Harvey and Bruce are how they are in the arkham universe.

[alexandraisyes]

joining in on ranting in you're ask box part- uh- idk 3?? 4??? I dont even know anymore

Anyway, *cough* i think still have some of these left (edit: I just finished typing this all out and think is defiently an understatement-)

SolarNexus: Solar just goes off on Moon for how much he hates Nexus. Thats all I have for that. I'm sorry im this close to forcing myself to start writing fanfiction again just to write this. Also for my true loves kiss saves Nexus idea- and just to write about Nexus finding who he is instead of who he's supposed to be. .... can you tell i think about these two a lot? (Edit: I prove later that I think about them even more, and Eclipse)

BloodySun: I'm like feral for these two- just, like- Bloodmoon giving dead birds and stuff to Sun and he's absolutley digusted but trying not to hurt their feelings- i- ansusnhas

Servant Sun x Servant Eclipse: I've seen like 1 ship fic with these two but I dont care. I'm obsessed. They need to hold hands and heal and go to therapy together. Obviously Eclipse would defiently be able to help Sun more (cause lord Eclipse), but Sun could defiently help Eclipse too. (Is Eclipse faking losing his memories/being reset or some shit canon? I've read too much fanfiction- im going to assume it is for this) he can also help Eclipse learn that he doesn't have to be fake all the time and thatd be cute

Nexus x Dark Sun: I dont even have thoughts about this. Like I have feelings but I dont have thoughts. I cant even reason why I like this, I just like the toxic yaoi. I just like the concept of Dark Sun not even liking Nexus but manipulating him- like- Moon turned bad x biggest moon hater. I also just like hurting Nexus so other characters can help him heal. Only thing turning me off from this ship is that its an alternate universe of his ex-brother who would most likely be his brother again if he had a redemption arc. Like- I love seeing the ship and I like the concept just it gives me the ick, but thats okay cause I dong have to rot over every ship. Actually, I'm glad I'm not obsessed with this ship I dont need more angst living in my brain. ... I am obsessed with it in a platonic sense tho so I guess the angst is in my brain anyway

Nexus x Eclipse but its when they were looking for who made Eclipse: Nexus abolutley collared him. Im sorry. .. no im not, im right. Like, what is with Nexus and treating others like dogs??? Like first v4 Eclipse, and now Ruin??? Nexus is there anything you want to tell us??? Okay pet play- also doing that to the masochist is crazy, like if you're going to treat anyone like a dog why would it be Ruin that feels like setting yourself up for disaster. Even if he isn't actually a masochist he sure is known for pretending to be one

Nexus x any Eclipse ever: listen, im just saying I think he has a thing for Eclipse's (which is funny cause Moon fucking hates them) Treating Eclipse and Ruin like his dogs. Solar being his best friend. Even Dark Sun, who's a really smart Evil Sun who absorbed the knowledge of his Moon, so im counting him. Like I think Nexus would like being thrown around by Lord Eclipse, or helping to fix up Servant Eclipse. I'm just saying-

Eclipse ² x Nexus (gets its own section i rot about these three): them just reassuring the other's that they're loved and cared for- im sorry you can't tell me that these three don't all have some form of attachment issues- Eclipse being so used to people hating him that he kind of just instinctively pushes people away. Similar with Solar, but he does it more so emotionally while also feeling like he has to earn his place and do things for people. And Nexus also feels like he has to prove himself, and that he isn't good enough.

And they just reassure each other and then the others use their words against him (/pos) and they realize how stupid it sounds and anisnsusnsns <3<3 like- nexus being like "you don't have to prove yourself for anyone, Solar. We love you, you don't need to overwork yourself for us." And, like- solar saying it to him back- and Nexus is just like ".. okay listen-" and similar things happening with the other two and ensunsjss-

also they're the three worst at interaction (other than old Moon he takes the cake for worst at it, but its okay i love it)- like they're all pretty bad at it. Eclipse is Eclipse(aka memories as a villain, and is a sarcastic little shit), Nexus is just kind of awkward, and cmon Solar didn't really ever have any interaction after his split than his Moon and probaly kids, we know he can't talk to people easily. Honestly tho Solar is the best at it (he was able to start up a conversation with Moon easier than Moon could with him) and I imagine he's the one who orders at restaurants

And Moon hates both of Solar's boyfriends and Moon and Solar are friends and I think that's just kind of funny. Like Moon likes Solar so he doesn't stop being friends with him even though he's dating the two, but he's bitter about it (though honestly if Nexus had a redemption arc and it was proved he had a virus, I feel like Moon would hate him a little less. But he'd probaly still be insecure about Nexus probaly taking his place and everyone not really liking Moon again so he'd probaly still be an ass to him.)

Anyway they cuddle. Doesn't even have to be romantic, those three deserve to be in love (also the potential from forbidden love Eclipse² is Nausnsusnsn)

... I- shipping dynamics are neat

I apologize for making this so long, I expected it to be short and then I remembered I started to like new ships 😔

ALSO were being brave and doing this off anon (also id like you to know I genuinely just stared at my phone for a moment when I saw youd followed me lmao. I was so suprised [and delighted, you're neat]- plus it was like 4 am and I hadn't slept yet. I thought it was a dream the next day because I was that tired- I had to check cause i get very vivid dreams-)

All of these are so canon bro.

Solar saves Nexus with true loves kiss real? Real. I saw it with my own two eyes. It happened chat.

BLOODYSUN!!! They love their sunny and try to show that in the best way they know how, dead birds included. Sun is so grossed out by the blood and feathers and ough that's a dead bird ewww but he just forces a smile and nods and feeds it to his cats when Bloodmoon isn't looking. Then drowns his hands with soap and shampoos the carpet.

I feel like I've seen that fic too but my poor brain- Also yes, the pretending to be reset is canon. And that's so cute I'm-

Platonic ships are just as valid as romantic ones! And I really like the angst potential too heheheheh

Ayo 👀 Mmm I have thoughts about that but I must refrain.

Objectively correct. Nexus is an eclipsephile. He loves himself some eclipse.

POLY POLY POLY 🎉🎉🎉

THANK YOU FOR SHARING ALL OF YOUR THOUGHTS THESE ARE SO TASTY OH MY GOD ROLLING THESE AROUND IN MY BRAIN

Also awww ur so sweet. I love ur art! It's very cute! Of course I followed!

Ask Game

[localcryptidinthewoods]

rockstar au !!

hotel room / sleeping edition!

@that-one-i-think has already said who bunks w who and it makes sm sense, imma just repeat it (plus add info) incase you have not seen that whole thread of reblogs

irene & shad room together unless their on a break, in which shad will go with menphia and irene will go with kul’zak.

irene always demands the best hotel room with the best room and view, and will annoy the others to switch with her if the one she got originally didnt match what she wanted. she has a 30 step skin + hair care routine, and has done that one trend of the “i cant do nights” of her post routine (she does so much and too much in order to avoid aging and keep her hair perfect). you would think irene would be a pretty sleeper because of how she acts but i think she sleeps like a truck just hit her. sprawled out all over the bed, blankets on the floor and everything. her side of the room is a mess cuz shes the kinda person who throws her whole closet on the floor trying to figure out an outfit.

shads kinda the opposite, he could care less if the hotel room is nice aslong as it has a half decent bed. has a skin + hair routine mostly because irene forces him to do it, its just not as intense as her. hes the pretty sleeper in that relationship, he sleeps like a pretty princess which is very funny bc dudes buff, covered in tattoos and has a death glare that could kill. i think hes a big cuddlebug when hes sleeping. i think hes also the type of guy to check that the doors actually locked 30 times and that theres no secret cameras before being able to sleep. his side of the room is pretty clean other than shoes being scattered around.

menphia & enki room together, they arent particularly picky with rooms, they just need one with a good ac system bc menphia runs hot. their room is ussaly the messiest along side irenes due to the same reasons, exept both of em do it. the two of them also spend 80% of the night gossiping and talking shit about others with one another.

menphia has a normal skin care routine but a heavy hair care routine. i think she dyes her hair a lot but wants to do the best she can to maintain it healthy + her hair is really really thick so its just extra work all around. shes the type of person who steals stuff from hotel rooms ranging from the toiletries to pillows to one time she stole the ironing thing some hotels offer bc they lost theirs and needed a new one. has probably set off the sprinklers in a hotel, how? idk yet but its happened. menphia sleeps curled up like a cat (mostly bc i’ve been headcanoning her as a meif’wa) and tends to purr in her sleep / in order to fall asleep

when irene & shad are on break / arguing, her and shad share rooms and when they do jesus fucking christ is it loud. they’ve almost gotten kicked out of hotels n motels because of it. the two just have an emo reunion. menphia lets shad rant about irene to her cuz she knows that he dosent really get to talk about it very often and that it helps him when he does.

enki has a normal skin care + hair care routine, just the basics. i think their pretty lucky when it comes to that area so they dont have to do a lot. enkis def the person who goes out for vending machine drinks & snacks in the middle of the night when they cant sleep tho and almost always wake up menphia whenever shes sleeping when trying to get back in no matter how quiet he walks in just cuz menphias a lightish sleeper. enki snores but its not annoying, its more like soft snoring. i think enkis a side sleeper who forces herself to sleep on her back but he always ends up on their side bc comfy.

when menphia rooms w shad, enki is stuck rooming with esmund. it’s ok, esmunds a really nice roommate its just…awkward? i suppose? they dont have a lot in common that their aware of other than the band. the night is spent with them both going to bed early after talking small talk for a little bit. so yeah awkward nights.

speaking of esmund, esmund and kul’zak room with one another. their room is the cleanest by far. kul’zaks side is a little messy but its mostly blankets on the floor n what not. the two of them talk about everything and anything, from The Divine band to their own little two person band Lament, they talk about new songs to write and old songs, they talk about the past and their futures and what they want to do with it.

esmund has the basic skincare + hair care, nothing extra other than what you need. i dont think he worries about that kind of stuff too much, but irene is always trying to get him to buy more products n what not. i dont think esmund uses a lot of blankets when sleeping, one at most, just bc he dosent get cold easily yk. i think he sleeps on his back cuz comfy, and i think he snores too much like enki. i think esmund is the kind of guy to always make his bed in the mornings and kul’zak tells him its fine that he dosent have to but esmund is just like: its the polite thing to do !!!!

kul’zak is part of the 15 step hair care routine club, i think this man has beautiful curly hair that he takes care of extremely well. his skin care is normal but his hair care is extra just like irenes is. kul’zak is a side sleeper for sure, curled up too. very comfy. he has to sleep with 5 blankets and 6 pillows otherwise he cannot sleep. only exeption to this rule is if hes sharing a bed with esmund.

kul’zak is the one that rooms with irene whenever her and shad r on a break. he lisents to her rant and go on her angry tangents which turn into frustrated tears and her yelling into a pillow while smiling and nodding. i feel like irene & kul’zaks nights either go with him nodding qnd smiling while she rants or the two of them having a really deep conversation about a situation, one or the other and its ussally the former. since irene sleeps like a truck hit her he’s ussally able to sneak out and see the others before going to bed himself.

[taegularities]

i mean this in the nicest way possible because i truly love you, but i wish writers in general wouldnt try to force reader engagement. i often reply with feedback, but at the end of the day, you should be writing because you want to, not because you want validation. i dont know if its just me who feels this way, but when writers constantly mention needing feedback or they wont write/will stop writing a popular series, it feels like a threat. i dont want reading to feel like a chore, where i need to constantly be validating my favorites so they dont get taken away from me. i love you and your writing and i wish my likes were enough. sometimes i, as a reader, dont feel like engaging/leaving notes. sometimes i just want to read and move forward. i feel like many writers have turned appreciative comments from readers into an obligation.

again in no way is this meant to be hateful towards you, i feel like this can apply to many of my favs. i just needed to get it off my chest and hopefully assure you that we like your writing, even if there's less engagement. if you disagree with any of my points, please tell me/ask me to clarify. i dont want to hurt your feelings and i would love to hear from the writer's side!

hiii! no worries, thank you so much for being respectful and wanting to hear my opinion, as well. i know some people let these things out in the rudest manner possible, so i appreciate that <3

so, the reason i haven't been writing atm is because i lack the time and energy to write :') this year has been crazyyyy busy, so i just don't get to it anymore – and since i've been away/less present for a while, i guess i also drifted away from tumblr, too, and then felt like people might've forgotten about taegularities, and then i wasn't sure if the effort would still be worth it (i get insecure at times, but that's a me-problem). now, the reason i (and many other writers) have this worry is bc writing requires an insane amount of energy and brainpower – when i tell you that so many of us actually slave over just a scene or even a paragraph for ages 😭 (example: the last cmi update was far shorter than what i usually drop, but it took me days to just edit one scene). we ache to write all the time, but life also gets in our way – i barely get time to sit down and work on my fics these days… so when i do get time, i want to put it out there into the world and then see the reactions, too… i write for myself, ofc, but for you guys, too, so i can share that joy; or else i'd keep the fics in my docs, right?

and in that sense, when we write something in the rare free time that we get and that we hope others will love just as much as we do, we do seek some sense of validation, even if that sounds odd. it's like – imagine you studied for a test for like 2 weeks, but then don't get the results you hoped for (which might be a weird example, but effort-wise, it's similar, even if fics don't affect writers' lives in that sense). i know there are many who just write and don't care for feedback (even tho i've seen even those who say this be sad about reader engagement which – very valid), but i think that most who expose their soul and heart like this, do want to see people enjoying it/speaking about it/hyping it up. every creator, be it in the movie, music or art industry, loves to see reactions! and think about it – most writers get so genuinely excited when someone sends an ask that doesn't say more than "i loved this so much!! you're such a good writer!!" which is insane?! like, i know that i do – i get so happy and remember these comments 5ever, and it's a 2 sentence review as opposed to thousands of words. the effort here is unbalanced, but we still love it so much. and you don't need to write an essay, you never never do!! i swear, it's always enough to even get a few words or sentences <3 which, in the end, isn't a lot to ask for, you know?

i'm not saying i will stop writing my series. i would stop if it got 0 reactions OR if my life stood in its way too much; i'll keep loving what i write and write out of joy, no doubt. and tbh, i don't care about notes either. like, i remember "ruin you" getting way less notes than cmi but GOSH we had so much fun back then bc of the interaction and the craze made me so happy hahaha and yeah that's what it's essentially about – community. does that make sense? it's tumblr where likes don't make a post circulate – reblogs do, so yeah, unfortunately, likes are not enough :( i wish they were. i totally get what you mean, though. even feedback shouldn't be an obligation, but if you truly like somebody's work, it never hurts to send a tiny message. it really means the world to us when something we adore and are so proud of – creating art, sharing our heart, wanting everybody to see this love – is met with so much joy. and it's fics, you know – we love love love writing, but it's something that can be read. and we want people to read it and we're legit sitting there like "👀 and?? aaaand?" lol it's so nice to know when someone truly appreciates something… ofc you don't have to comment on my stuff, but i promise feedback makes a difference. it's why so many do leave :/ i hope that made sense!! once again, thank you for being respectful!! i love you, too, and am truly grateful that you're here and enjoying my stuff!! <3

[sammyloomis]

2023 completions

welcome to the 2023 edition of my ramblings about video games i completed this year!! including even more unwanted opinions and even less coherency

total games: 37

09/01 - Sam & Max Save the World - 8/10

sam and max, freelance police, begin a long string of investigations involving hypnotised celebrities, sentient computers, and conspiracies that go all the way to the TOP, baby

startin the year off good game wise then!! tbh i started this one in 2022 but it didnt make that list cause i just.. wasnt in a game playin mood towards the end i guess fghj but anyway!! really liked this one, ive seen a few mutuals who like this series so i was excited to play it and it was a lot of fun :] defo an old school point and click game and i rly liked the main characters themselves and the supporting cast!! glad theres another remaster i can jump into right after this one

11/01 - Dark Pictures Anthology: The Devil In Me - 8/10

the crew of lonnit entertainment are invited to a recreation of the infamous murder house, the stomping grounds of americans first serial killer, h h holmes. they are hoping the location will help save their documentary, but will you be able to save... THEIR LIVES??

i feel like every dark pictures game becomes my fave dark pictures game as they come out, but this one really was Very Good. i can confidently say this is probably the most scared ive been while playing a supermassive game Ever. the characters, while dysfunctional, grew on me a lot over the course of the game which made keeping them alive even more nailbiting :’] speaking of, the deaths in this one were Particularly gruesome imo, just from a concept standpoint, so big kudos for that too!! my only gripe is that i think the new “features” such as puzzle solving and traversal mechanics just artificially prolonged the runtime without actually adding anything to the experience

15/01 - Sam and Max Beyond Time and Space - 7/10

even more weird shit is afoot in the second sam and max game, this time our duo facing off against T-H-E-M, the bermuda triangle, and satan himself!! ... or was it santa??

2 sam and max games in one month, this may have detrimental effects on my brain :’] but really, i liked this one too!! not as much as the first, but i still liked the characters and overall story, i liked how it all connected to both the previous game and the events through this one. i found some of the puzzles a bit more difficult and obtuse, but they were still fun. another fun point and click game (tho somewhat dated in some cases fghjk)

18/01 - Sherlock Holmes: Crimes and Punishments - 5/10

the game preceeding sherlock holmes: the devils daughter, which i completed last year, follows the titular character once more, solving 6 of his cases along with his partner dr john watson

eh, not much to say about this one. i certainly prefered the devils daughter, but that one was also kinda meh fghjk. with this one being an older game, the graphics and gameplay were a bit more janky, and i guess theyd changed voice actors for sherlock since this game cause i didnt like his voice in this one tbh. that being said, mystery wise id say its abt on par with the devils daughter. yeah, again, not much to say really :’]

24/01 - Psychonauts 2 - 10/10

a mole in headquarters, an evil from the past is rising again, and even MORE figments hidden in really obscure places... another day at the psychonauts office :V raz once again must delve into various brains to figure out what the Fuck is goin on

okay this game was literally so fkn good in every aspect. visually stunning, amazing story, brilliant characters both new and returning... GOD!!! what the first game did well, this one blew it CLEAN out of the water, i loved it a lot!! like idk what else to even say, it was just such a solid game i cant think of much to critisise :’]

04/02 - AI: The Somnium Files - 3/10

kaname date works for the police force for a department unknown to the general public, using groundbreaking technology, he delves into the minds of suspects and uncovers clues using their own memories. when a body shows up resembling a victim of a serial killer from a cold case, he begins his investigation

... man... spike chunsoft rly just know how to make characters that grate on me fghjk for starters ill praise the original concept and interesting story (when it finally got around to being revealed), but i disliked/was uninterested in most of the characters and thought the tropes they kept using were annoying and just plain weird. im not fully sure Why this game was a branching path type game since it never really plays into the plot and the main story could have easily been told with a single storyline. overall, didnt rly enjoy this one, but what can ya do they cant all be winners :’]

13/02 - Sly Cooper and the Thievious Raccoonus - 5/10

sly cooper, youngest descendent of the illustrious cooper thief clan, had his familys secrets stolen when he was just a lad. now he sets out to retrive what was taken from him and beat up some bad guys as he does

i gotta commend this game for the humour and the creativity with it, and im defo lookin forward to playing the rest of these games based off this one, but i think this first entry suffers from a lot of Jank that made it quite frustrating to play :’] also, there wasnt any way to mute anything except the music or adjust the volume so it would routinely blow the FUCK out of my eardrums. that bein said tho, still fun, very quick game, but im keepin it a low rating cause im expecting to like the later ones better :’]

26/02 - Hidden Agenda - 2/10

the infamous “trapper” killer makes a final confession while counting down the days on death row, claims he never killed anyone and he can help lead the police to exactly who did. detective becky marney must investige this case one more time and decide if hes lying, or if the killer is still afoot

im so so SO sorry to my friends who like this game but besties.... why fghj for starters i was locked out of playing it for almost 2 years when the app you are REQUIRED to use in order to play this thing just stopped working, and when i finally did start playing the jank didnt stop with just the app. the whole game seems to be a broken mess with textures flickering in and out, characters walking thru solid objects, its MADNESS. the story and characters are so.... not interesting :[ it takes only 2 hours to do a full runthru of the story so i never rly grew to care abt them and theyre so flat anyway that i didnt Want to. if it wasnt so clearly rushed i think itd be good, and some of the acting is actually rly stellar, but overall...... its a no from me

04/03 - Minecraft - minecraft/10

its minecraft

technically i already got the plat ages ago but this year i finally got the coveted 100% so.... yeah ;w; i mean we all know what minecraft is so like...... idk what to say abt it guys, u already know how good it is (tho the console version is Vasty inferior to pc)

05/03 - Death Stranding - 8/10

after a world ending catastrophe dubbed the death stranding wiped out modern life as we know it, humanity is scattered across america. its up to sam porter bridges, post apocalyptic delivery man, to travel across the country and unite those that remain

depsite how confusing this game was, and how slow it was paced, and how fkn damn weird it was half the time, i still had a lot of fun playing it :’] i enjoyed the characters, tho wish certain ones had more limelight, i enjoyed the actual gameplay, tho by the end game i was finding it a bit Too repetetive, and i found the story rly interesting, when i could understand what was going on fghj so basically for every good thing i liked, it was countered by something, tho they are fairly small things. also the ending cutscene is an hour n a half long and i was fkn 3 am when i was finally allowed to exit the damn game so, u know, beware of that

10/03 - Ratchet & Clank - 7/10

young mechanic ratchet, with his new buddy clank, join the galactic rangers in stopping the blargs from destroying countless planets in order to build their own

another game thats been on my backlog for ages, im glad to have this one done and dusted :’] i certainly had fun playing it, but i feel like it was a bit Too kiddy in some places for my personal taste (dialogue and humour wise that is, but since this was also made by insomniac of spiderman fame, it makes sense) and after a certain point the game becomes piss easy with all the upgrades u get, but i still enjoyed it

03/04 - Sly Cooper 2: Band of Thieves - 5/10

sly and his pals return to their thieving ways after learning that the infamous klaw gang have begun reassembling parts for slys arch nemesis; clockwork. they travel across the globe to stop them

man my descriptions are getting worse fghj but anyway, as with the first game, i rly enjoyed the characters!! and the music, and... thats pretty much it. i really dont know what it is about these sly games that i just cant seem to enjoy the gameplay but i Really Really dont have fun while playing them :[ which is a shame cause, like i say, great characters that id like to spend more time with. if this was supposed to be the best in the series, i think im gonna give the 3rd and 4th games a miss for now, but maybe ill come back to them in the future

29/04 - Last Day of June - 7/10

a short game depicting a young couple named carl and june, and the tragedy surrounding their relationship

this game doesnt actually have a plat, which is something im trying not to be too picky about going forward in terms of playing games, but even tho this game was super short i really liked it!! the story is rly simple but incredibly sad, and even though theres a lack of “voice acting” in the traditional sense, there was still a lot of great emotive acting in this. that being said, the fact some of the voices sounded so odd detracted from the seriousness of the plot sometimes, and the actual gameplay was kinda boring, but still a solid short game :]

29/04 - Predator Hunting Grounds - 1/10

DO NOT PLAY THIS GAME

OH THE AGONY OH THE PAIN OH THE HOURS OH THE WASTED YEARS THE WASTED YOUTH THE PRETTY LIES THE UGLY TRUTH

and i dont like it >:[

03/05 - Linger in Shadows - 1/10

this... isnt even a game apparently

i had it on my list of things to check out while i had the ps plus premium thinking it Was a game, but its not. its a strange kind of “art” thing according to the guide i used. i didnt rly know what was going on fghj. certainly a unique experience i suppose but nothing id recommend u go out of ur way to do, even if it takes literally 10 minutes to get all the trophies (no plat either)

08/05 - Kurushi - 2/10

ps1 puzzle game, another one from the ps plus catalogue

not much to say abt this one again fghj seems like these last few games have been kinda duds huh :’] ah well, theres certainly better games on the horizon i suppose. as said, this is just some puzzle game from the ps1, janky controls and all. the music is surprisingly good, sounds almost like disney instrumentals :’] not that fun without assisstance tbh

09/05 - The Gardens Between - 6/10

a very short puzzle game following 2 friends exploring a strange series of islands that tell the story of their friendship

when i say short i Mean short. like even without a guide i got this completely done in 2 1/2 hours, and that included me leaving the game on while i went to get something to eat from the kitchen. that being said, its a very cute game!! i enjoyed the puzzles, the style is nice and Capital-I-Indie, the musics nice and relaxing. the story was also nice, if sad, (can i say nice a few more times??? nice nice nice nice) but i just think this game is Wayyyy too short dfghj i think a lot more could have been done with it :’] glad i didnt pay the full £15 for this as it would have been a bit of a rip off

09/05 - Nelson Tethers: Puzzle Agent - 8/10

fbi agent tethers is sent out to the minnesotan town of scoggins to investigate the local eraser factory shutting down

damn we’re just flying thru em now huh! ive actually played and 100%’d this game before on steam, as well as its sequel so i suppose im a little biased :’] but i rly like this game!! another short one, and another puzzle one, but i rly love the art style and story, as well as the puzzles being fairly simple but still fun!! its a shame the second game never made it to ps or id complete that one too but yeah, fun and simple puzzle game, defo recommend :] like most games like this tho, i wish it were longer

11/05 - ABZU - 6/10

you are a diver on a journey through the ocean, discovering the creatures that inhabit the waters

short n sweet indie game (anotha one) and this one was pleasant!! i rly liked the style and music, the story was simple but told fairly well, and just overall a nice game :] beyond that, not much to say tho fghj defo a very pretty game, and id recommend if you have an interest in marine life n such, but beyond that its pretty bog standard indie game

11/05 - The Pedestrian - 5/10

a short puzzle game where you traverse various signs as the tiny person within them

pretty straight forward puzzle game with a Weird ending that i dont quite understand fghj but overall it was enjoyable :’] most of these quicker games ive been playing lately have been super quick puzzle games so i might be getting burnt out on them, but even then i can appreciate the creativity of this one. its also another game with no plat which, considering it came out not 3 years ago, is kind of annoying

14/05 - Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons - 4/10

two brothers venture on a quest to find medicine for their sick father

another short puzzle game, with a pretty interesting feature!! you control each brother with an analogue stick each, which can make coordination in some parts quite tricky if ur me fghj overall a pretty decent game, the story was kinda meh for me but i thought the gameplay was interesting, not much else tho

20/05 - Bloodborne - 6/10

the town of yharnam is crawling with beasts and hunters alike. fight through the corrupted streets and discover the fetid depths of this city and all the inhabitants trying super duper hard to kill you

im editing this from when i first wrote it after immediately finishing the game because i was cranky and frustrated because i cant in good faith give this game a score lower than 5 (mainly because i know the fromsoft fans would dox and kill me). this game is visually very nice, in the sense that it looks Horrible, which fits the vibe. the gothic style along with the monsters are really unique and detailed to the point where some of them are hard to look at. that being said, i personally didnt like this game. at all. i know on a “technical” level its very good, but i struggled for a Long Time to “git gud” as it were and surprisingly, dying a million times because you cant dodge within a 1/2 second window before being stun locked to death GREATLY decreased my enjoyment of this game. and thats all im gonna say about it :V

21/05 - Black Mirror - 4/10

following the suicide of his father, david gordon returns to scotland from india to inherit his familys estate. however, there are strange mysteries surrounding this house and the family who occupy it

pretty short horror/puzzle game that was pretty light on both the horror and puzzles fghj tho this game had a surprising amount of animation that looks fairly good which was a nice surprise. the characters were fine, and the story started out quite interesting but just felt a bit... weird. especially the ending, the final climax is basically just a bunch of qtes that ends really abruptly with little push back from the villain :’] for a free game i guess i cant complain too much

23/05 - Vampyr - 8/10

dr johnathan reid, recently turned vampire, has just returned home to london after serving as a field medic during the war. the streets are crawling with rogue vampires, and an epidemic is spreading quickly through the city, all while johnathan is searching for his maker

FINALLY A GAME I ENJOYED. GOD. okay so this was surprising because ive heard a lot of people call this game p mid, and maybe id think the same if it wasnt preceded by a whole bunch of Crap ive recently played, but here we are!! i really loved the chracters, i thought they were all fun and interesting, even the ones we dont meet for too long, and i also found the story super compelling!! the game Does have a bit of jank to it, with weirdly long loading times (even on the ps5) and the occassional graphical error, but otherwise i rly enjoyed this one :]

31/05 - Ratchet & Clank: Rift Apart - 9/10

seperated after dr nefarious begins ripping holes into other dimensions, ratchet and clank must team up with another lombax named rivet and stop the universes from collapsing altogether

man this game was so fun!! i got the whole thing done and dusted over the course of 2 days :’] the writing was still a bit cheesy for me, and as implied the play time is Outrageously low for the steep price (which i thankfully avoided cause ps plus), but the gameplay itselt was Incredibly fun and engaging!! defo a huge step up from the first game in this reboot series. i also rly loved rivet so that certainly helped :’]

02/06 - Lake - 5/10

meredith weiss, a successful programmer, moves back to her childhood town of providence oaks to fill in her her dad at his post office job. deliver mail to the residents of this lakeside town and decide how meredith wants to end her 2 week stint

pretty cute indie game i got through ps plus, i kinda wish the whole thing Was just a post delivery simulator :’] the characters are okay, the storys okay if a little eh.... i wanna say Loose?? like the plot beats (if u can call them that) feel kinda boring n half arsed. theres also a random romance option in this which feels?? out of place and doesnt actully impact anything that much. overall its an okay game, like i say the thing i found the most fun was driving around delivering post but maybe thats just my autism showing :V

13/06 - PowerWash Simulator - 10/10

i mean... kinda does what it says on the tin guys

is a 10 a bit generous?? maybe. do i particularly care?? absolutely not. this game is a 10 if ever there was one. i truly dont know how else to sell this if the idea of cleaning stuff with a powerwasher isnt immeditely appealing to you like, maybe You’re the problem :V this game also has a weird amount of lore?? which is also v fun fghj so do with that info what you will

19/06 - LEGO Pirates of the Caribbean - 7/10

a lego retelling of all 4 pirate movies, with all the usual lego bells and whistles

pretty typical lego game, so the gameplay and stuff is p fun!! ive actually never seen these movies so i didnt rly know what was goin on half the time, especially because this is an Older lego game so theres zero voice acting in this. i also had quite a few crashes and bugs while playing where i had to restart either the level or the whole game, which got annoying during the cleanup grind. overall tho, cant go wrong with a lego game tbh

17/08 - Chicory: A Colorful Tale - 9/10

after all the colour in the world disappears out of nowhere, you must go on a quest across the picnic province to restore it using a magic paintbrush

you may notice the significant time gap between the last game and this one and uhhhh ngl folks i was Not Gamin dfghj i was Tired n a lil Sad but eh what can ya do, but this was a great game to come back with!! absolutely loved this one, super adorable art style and gameplay that reminded me a LOT of toem, very similar vibes but this game is much longer imo. id give it a perfect 10 if the collectibles weren’t so horrid to find fghjk but other than that cant recommend this one enough!!

29/08 - Observation - 7/10

dr emma fisher wakes up after the space station on which she resides undergos a catastrophic failure. take control ships ai, S.A.M., and attempt to reboot the systems and find the crew, who have all mysteriously disappeared...

rly quite liked this one!! the fact u control the ships ai is a pretty interesting feature and made the interface really cool and sci-fi lookin, defo alien inspired on that front. i liked the story, even if it Did get a bit confusing, and the voice acting was also pretty stellar!! gotta dock points for some classic indie game Jank, and the fact that there isnt a whole lot goin on gameplay wise (p much entirely minigames that arent that well explained to you that u only end up doing once) but the story and overall eerie atmosphere rly saved it for me

31/08 - OMNO - 5/10

short indie game where u travel through a mystical world, solve puzzles, and meet extraordinary animals

theres indie games and then theres Indie Games, u know?? this is the latter. and thats not a bad thing!! it just means its kinda... predictable. usual fare of no voice acting, gorgeous music, simple but stylised graphics etc etc. it was pretty cute and the puzzles were fun, but some of the controls felt a bit clunky and like i say, a little boring story wise imo (but maybe ive just played too many of these types of games). perfectly middle of the road :’]

03/09 - Tacoma - 7/10

you have been sent on a mission to retrieve the ai from a ship where all the crew have seemingly vanished (sounds a bit familiar huh?? all sci fi is the same (affectionately)). explore the ship and piece together what happened to everyone

anotha one, anotha sci fi indie game :’] rly liked the story of this one!! and it was an interesting mechanic to be able to view scenes of the crew via an AR system, and then also view their files and such. despite their limited appearances, all the crew members were interesting and unique, and no spoilers but it made the ending and its lead up a lot more exciting and intense. gotta dock points for how Glitchy this game was, it crashed at one point and started stuttering so bad i had to restart it manually, and also for how short it is. still, good story, good characters

06/09 - Chicken Police: Paint it RED! - 8/10

a gritty noir point and click detective game where u play as the infamous sonny featherland, one half of the crime fighting duo, chicken police. after a nervous dame shows up on his doorstep about her mistress recieving vague threats, he realises hes gotta take just one last case

anthropamorphic detective chickens..... played TOTALLY straight, mind you. like i was actually totally blown away by this game fghjk its Completely voice acted for one, and its Pretty Fuckin Good voice acting too, the story and mystery is Really interesting, the world its set in is super gritty and deep despite how little its kinda touched on through the story, i was very surprised!! i think the ending and reveal were a bit uhh.... abelist, not to get too into spoilers, but for a noir story i guess its par for the course. still, enjoyed this one!!

08/09 - The Testament of Sherlock Holmes - 5/10

a mutilated bishop, a deadly poison, and some other shady bullshit, its another sherlock holmes game

this is actually the oldest game in the series thats avilable on ps, ive kinda gone about playing these in the exact wrong order :’] that being said, i do think this is my Least favourite of the 3 ive played thus far. like crimes & punishment, this game also has plenty of jank, and the voice acting is a lil ehhh stiff for my taste. the puzzles were fine, the story was fine, overall just Fine. this game follows 1 case rather than multiple like its sequels do

10/09 - Garfield Kart: Furious Racing - 4/10

basically a mario kart clone but with garfield :]

now i am not one who loves racing games. in fact i suck quite badly at them. so u may wonder why i have a racing game in this list and well?? im ngl i bought this game as a meme and it ended up being so hard i had to put it down for a while dfghj BUT i came back to it and after hours of sweatin and gamer rage i DID IT!!! but at what cost. the game is fun, it looks nice, tho the only real garfield references it Has are its racers, the courses are kinda bland and generic. also the trophies...... my GOD the trophies..... not even a plat btw hhhh anyway if u like racing games check it out but if u Dont then DONT

17/09 - The Last of Us: Part 1 - 8/10

in the fungusy zombie apocalypse, smuggler joel is tasked with taking an immune girl, ellie, to a group of freedom fighters to create a cure. a remake of a remake :’]

obviously its good. i mean cmon. i remember watching a playthru of the OG og game wayyy back when so i kinda knew all the plot beats, but playing it myself in this beautiful 4k ps5 remake was Glorious (dont get me wrong, i think it was totally unnessesary to remake it AGAIN but it do look pretty). i can certaily see why this game has such a cult following and got the reception it did. maybe a Tad overhyped?? maybe a tad. but still good!! gameplay is solid, story is solid, characters are solid, whats not to like?? docking points for the frankly OBSCENE price point (luckily i got mine Mega cheap but go-LLY)

03/10 - The Last of Us: Part 2 - 10/10

after a devastating loss, ellie begins a gruelling quest for revenge and runs the risk of not only losing the ones she loves, but herself as well

i mean. fuck me guys. fuck ME. if the first game is good then this one is straight up glorious. the story is Vastly improved, so much tension and grey morality and Bone Deep Agony, emotionally and physically. its just such a hugely better game, both story and gameplay wise with a Bunch of new features and they arent afraid to take you to Extremely dark places with characters we already love and brand new ones too. this games going to be sitting with me for a long time i feel

and thats it for 2023!!

kinda fell off the gaming wagon in the final few months of this year due to a variety of reasons, but lets hope i can keep gettin games off the ol’ backlog in the new year :]

[geee-three]

@ace-detectiv3 <3333 thank yewwww,,,

welcome to a crash course on: the vivids. izza edition. consisting of shiraishi an, kiritani haruka, hinomori shiho and akiyama mizuki.

you may be asking. how on earth did these four meet? what the shit is going on? well well well im glad you asked. this is my number one favourite shuffle unit of all time. btw. im not normal about them.

the general gist of it is: an works up the balls to ask haruka to officially be her singing partner before haruka gets scouted. therefore, when haruka gets scouted, she declines. (and is never forced to learn how to smile and therefore always looks bored or pissed. we love autsim in this house /gen). next up is sbibo. with her its more of a branching out in genre after babyneed broke up, and stumbling into vivid street one random day and befriending haruka. i think it probably took a little longer to befriend an (reminded her of saki a liitttle too much) but she starts hanging around there. i dont think shed go at it as a solo performer tho- leoni baby edition had just broken up after all. and ofc she drags miu with her at least once (who does not enjoy the Noises). finally we have mizook. i think this was more a little out of spite that she went to vivid street in the first place. like, yuuki's just left and she ended up too scared to join n25 and maybe she had a fight with rui bc theyre both stressed as fuck and took it out on each other and again, stumbles into vivid street. i think she'd befriend an first. but it doesnt matter bc shes like. "well i GOTTA prove to rui im capable of SOMETHING" and decides. im gonna join these girls and sing.

(importnat info: theyre all in their last year of junior high, at the start of the school year. this means yuuki just left for france, shizuku just started school again, leoneed pg13 ver had broken up not all too long ago, its been two years since rad weekend and souma is in hospital but hasnt been for that long. bad dogs (theyre relevant) formed about a year before this. (also is we wanna care about akito and toya. harumichi is still harubitchy and this is like maybe 6 months after enas attempt. again these guys Do Not Change from canon but they Are Relevant.))

and an is like. well. me and haruka have been besties and partners for a long time since we were kids... and shiho jumps in bc shes nosy like. well mius ignoring me so i'll partner up with the new girl and we'll have a competition and we're gonna be so good. bad dogs would exists by this point so you have an overcompetetive akito running around stirring the pot, dragging toya with him. like ofc bad dogs are being gay but shiho looks to her left and oh shiit. fuck. i maybe wanna actually be singing partners with this girl for real for real rahter than just for this one competition. basically six 14 y/os sing at each other and (predictably) an and haruka win (having the most training). and arata (the bitter bitch) was watching the whole time and honestly these kids have talent but im gonna be mean about it. bc im not coping with souma being gone. so arata comes over and gives unwarrented criticism for no reason other than to be pissy. akito and shiho are PISSED AS FUCK and are already yelling at each other and their egos are fragile so theyre yelling at arata too. and arata criticises mizuki over something and she starts crying and shiho (very recently protective) fully threatens him ("im going to kick the shit outta you for making akiyama cry"-esque thing) adn then attempts to follow through before an has to restrain her.

after everythings calmed down a little bit shiho goes to find mizuki and is like. im sorry about him hes a cuuunnntttttt. anyway. do u wanna be my singing partner for real for real... we can be beginners together... and mizuki says yes... woo!!! ofc mizuki has to tell rui and yuuki about this development and she does and rui is Yet Another Bitter Bitch but he tries to hide it (badly) (hes sad) but mizuki promises him theyll always be friends...

okay. the next few weeks are mostly like. WE GOTTA GET GOOD AKIYAMA WE GOTTA GET GOOD. LETS GO. WOO. OBNOXIOUS AMOUNTS OF FREE TIME. and shiho vaugely becomes friends with fucking shinonome akito becauase hes ALSO on that grindset 💪💪💥💥🔥🔥‼️‼️💯💯 adn theyre dragging mizuki and toya with them whether they like it or not. (they do). an and haruka watch from the sidelines like. hooolly shit theyre going at it huh. the goal right now is to get onto an and harukas level more so than beat radder. mizuki doesnt even know what a rad weekend is outside of 80s slang for a fun saturday and sunday. another competition happens (these arent like offically organised btw. they just. have a group chat or something and decide to do this. theyre very chaotic i love these guys.) and this time bad dogs win. first time haruka and an have lost!! an does not take this well. an is now on that grindset 💪💪💥💥🔥🔥‼️‼️💯💯 and haruka is an unwilling passenger.

so now there are five people frantically scrambling to Get Good and harukas just sipping tea when ken opens the door, raises an eyebrow and asks her to explain. she does. ken makes them all sit down, drink water, then lectures them on safe practice. they collectively ignore this. haruka sighs. they collectively ignore this. BEAR IN MIND. shiho and mizukis dont know what a rad weekend is. so when akito casually brings it up, gasps in horror and pulls up youtube, there is this sudden burning passion in both mizuki and shiho. and they start Plotting. Planning. Scheming. mizuki looks at is properly and is like well. we're gonna have to team up. bc we'll have to write songs and thats Hard and theyve got loads of people and yeah. doing this together is probably the best route. and shiho swallows her pride and says. okay yeah my partner is right we gotta team up. akito refuses. so shihos like fuck you we're teaming up with haruka shes got the braincells anywya. and akitos like wai tno but its too late. (and toyas happy to technically keep akito all to himself anyway. hes. not been very relevant so far. hes so passive in middle scchool like BESTIE take action!! but he Does Not.)

so the vivids is formed of haruka, an, shiho, and mizuki. akito insists bad dogs is a seperate group in close collaboration. then when kotaro turns up hes just Also in close collaboration.

asdhahshsdakjhfkjhasdfkjhasjdgjhajsdgjasdgjhgfdjkgfalhgjhjhkajhdsfjdghjhjsdghfhguasfghuasugfusadudfguahsldgfulhasdgfuhashhkldfslakjhasfdghjsadfyrtwiueydgrufhhwacggcjv adfb. the them. yeah. friendship is magic. or smth.

kizuna time woo baybee plus kotaro and bad dogs shiho + mizuki: an impropteu pair, sticking together, secret love of all things cute an + shiho: daughters of musicans, staying on top, let me help you already! shiho + haruka: unreadable expressions, fire and ice, protective partners mizuki + an: hit it off!, someone i'll rely on, dont fall behind now mizuki + haruka: an + haruka: childhood partners, expanding our circles, staying true to you shiho + akito: reignited dream, chase our horisons, packed schedules akito + an: bad at studying, strength in numbers, blue-haired partners who look like idols toya + mizuki: held up by their passion, halfway there, quit pretending to be something youre not akito + mizuki: wavering in private, fashion fanatics, when did i become lil bro? (obligitory akito + toya: bad bods, trustworthy partner, i want to sing with only you)

[royaltrios]

here's some notes on my recent chsc: what you're missing

-since i published as needed as last year's snow in january, i've been busy trying to graduate and not had any time to read or write or even really think about genshin. then i visited our chsc server friends for a few days beginning of june and i came back and haven't stopped writing since

-on the drive up me and taho spent most of the two hours yapping about chsc, and it was lovely but also extremely extremely strange for me to hear someone praise my writing irl. im genuinely just stumbling through word documents like a bow-legged fawn so

-starting back up with writing this summer i started working things out on physical paper in a notebook. its actually been really fun/feels different than notes app/sticky note-ing it. i still did use sticky notes for puzzling out intricacies of the smut tho (and then proceeded to pretty much use none of it) i'll attach a pic of my notes here for fun even though its slightly horrifying to do

-like most of my fics ive had this one waiting in the wings for a while, basic premise though was just 'chsc first time happens after scara backhands childe in front of people and childe gets very horny about that'. wrote it over about two weeks, fight scene fucked me up until i just locked in and wrote all of it at once at 2am. spent a while rearranging the smut then sent it to pachi to beta, forced myself not to look at it during those days, got it back and made isolated edits and was too embarrassed to read the smut i wrote 2 weeks ago again so i just posted it. hope its ok

-i always always always have trouble with scara during harbinger era. its because im a chronic overexplainer/overjustifier for characters getting together. for his actions during that time i lean on the little tiny bit we ever saw of it and that's mostly abrasiveness... but you gotta pull on how wanderer acts/ his backstory a bit too to like really see where hes coming from at that point in the story. halfway thru writing i realized he wouldnt act the way i was imagining him acting, had to fix that, then had to tweak the rest of the fic

-basically; i think childe would accept that he has a thing for scaramouche without too much thought. he's into mean people who're older than him + match his freak. he goes towards what makes him feel good. scara on the other hand i think... he immediately justifies the pull he feels as 'childe's stupid enough that i can use him'/'he worships me without being told'. this is a guilty pleasure for both of them until they realize its not (which is what i hoped to set up by beginning it with their abyss connections-- they're alike from the very beginning and they're both being used in different ways) <- i talked to pachi some in the middle of writing and it helped me puzzle out what chsc would be feelin a bit more. ty dr pachi phd in childe characterization

-had to have like multiple tabs open of bible's rgg pwp fics as emotional support. i filtered fics tagged 'cunniligus' in my bookmarks more than once. i was floundering. 90% of what i write or consider writing is E rated but i don't actually get much fulfillment out of describing smut. however i kind of tried really hard here bc i know thats what 99% of people are reading this for and even though i hate when i have to write the words scaramouche and clit directly next to each other i ended up pretty proud of the smut here.

random favorite bit:

“Well, it—” Childe's hips buck up into Scaramouche's fist. With a strained expression across his face and in a tone that sounds a little too genuine, he says, “feels kinda... different, since it's you." It's as bold-faced and earnest as anything else he's heard Childe say. But it's a sort of confirmation that Scaramouche was hoping to avoid—whilst simultaneously enjoying dancing around it. Stupid to give him this much leeway, this much permission, and not expect the guy who does everything else with the ruthlessness and loyalty of a hunting dog not to extend that to this.

i liked this bc i felt like i managed to nail down scara realizing he might've bit off more than he can chew without disrupting the smut. and childe + dog metaphor + shaky earnest confessions + L + ratio

-my penchant for having characters write letters in fic returns (almost as bad as my thing with inserting flashbacks in the middle of stuff) (i like first person but i dont like it in fic so this is the only way i can do it)

-looped teenage dirtbag (title + captured how i was trying to play childe here) (friend told me recently the singer of wheatus went to hs around where we grew up?), against the kitchen floor by will wood (taho's doing), some high energy 2000s stuff while revising the fight scene, my age gap oriented pl + will stetsons rabbit hole cover during the smut

i'll leave whoever reads this with a teenage dirtbag induced write-up i did to try and work out why i ended up liking the title i chose so much:

what you're missing-- what you're letting pass you by. what you don't have by not looking at me, what you'll want back in the future. what you don't have by not having me. what you've been trying to find, to grasp. what you didn't know you were missing.

[narwhalandchill]

(just my 2.3 pull / general hsr rambles/rant but i get negative abt fireflys characterization again so thought id hide it for all the fans sake. good for yall & good luck pulling her i just cant get into her)

welp got my e1 gallagher (+ e2 mika) in 30 pulls on firefly so thats it from me, ill get e2 from the character selector so at least thats sth!!! i have been playing him a bit even at e0 and i do overall like how he feels so getting him to that e2 breakpoint where he rly starts to thrive as a sustain pick is v nice

anyway no early firefly which is whatever i consider her in game writing an absolute failure anyway and havent cared enough to watch Any of the trailer stuff either bc like . they lost me in 2.0 im sorry girl no matter how hypothetically good those trailers could be the writing team lost me forever at the ayaka-teppei forced date arc and thats it lmao . she couldve been an actual character but oh well what matters is shoving how cute and perfect and sad and in love with TB she is down ur throat at every fucking moment . her idle animation is so fucking bad too it made me laugh irl at how awful and cheap the fanservice is w her like yeah alright navia idle (which is already the worst idle in genshin i hate it) 💀💀💀 how do you do a characters potential this fucking dirty holy shit . we havent shilled firefly self insert ship to players enough so lets upskirt her too uwu!!!!!

But uhhh yeah thats a me being a hater thing ultimately i just physically cannot stand characters like this and first impressions do matter . Dont let me ruin her for u. nothing but props to her VA too like as much as her general characterizations appeal has been unsuccessful on me still shes been giving it the Absolute most to try to make her feel real and sympathetic and i respect that a lot

Still tho only thing that rly sucks w not just getting firefly at 4 pity or whatever and being done w it is just the. Welp Guess ill proceed to be unable to full clear any of the next 7 AS or MoC updates bc i pulled the wrong characters instead of Good Meta Dev Faves acheron and firefly like havent rly been a fan of the way the shilling has been going recently . like i just have rly shit matchups into the weaknesses of most stages these days and idk i havent even felt like Bothering to do PF 4 bc i just. DoT PF is always the fucking worst and i genuinely dont know what the hell to try to slap at it for a clear. guess my bad for not pulling swan either like truly my mistake . whatever its just a game .

Actually am i getting like burnt out ? well tracks for a honkai game i suppose. ig it also has to do w just the absolutely abysmal luck ive had now like. ive lost LC 75-25 of the 3 times i went for it TWICE . ive lost 50-50 like 5 times in a row now lmao and fully expect to lose on jade too at this point 🙃 might not even manage to get her at all . Sigh guess thats gacha at its worst for u

Sorry this got way more negative than i thought HSJSKSKSKSKSKD i hope the 2.3 story ends up being good at least so theres Sth good about it . and its not like i will die not clearing endgame content w full stars or sth it just sucks bc the way its happening just feels bad

edit: yeah im @ coffee break at work and it took me this fucking long to realize i just casually typed mika instead of misha JSJSTUHTS8J5Z9 💀💀💀💀 im so sorry misha youre way better than that nerd 😭😭😭😭😭 esp at c2 w the def shred i might even build him who knows . So sorry for this

[aceaceace144616]

Welcome, Caller

by M Dean Wright

my thoughts in a nutshell: "oh no hes just like me fr"

ok i dont really review books or anything, thats my friend's job (cheeky promo alana_the_bibliophile on instagram) nah yeah but this one was just so good.

firstly, as a neurodiverse bi trans dude i related so hard to Malcom (the main character) with the overloads and insecurities and just everything. i may or may not have to get this entire transcript tattooed upon my person cos it just hits so close to home in places i didnt even realise until the book brought them to my attention.

like the whole thing about Malcolm not going after things that will make him happy (Peter) just cause he feels like hes so fucked up ± messing something up on purpose before you can mess it up by accident vibes. i literally said (in a squidward impression cos that is important information) "oh no hes just like me for real" out loud on a bus (but it was a loud bus so no one heard) (hopefully). also another thing, Peter telling Malcolm about his auDHD and what he likes + dislikes about sensory stuff. and Malcolm believing and respecting him. i just. its such wish fulfilment. that along with the rest of the story, its all just wish fulfilment. having multiple queer and neurodiverse friends that help you when youre struggling and will beat up your unsupportive family members. (also having a dude think youre hot. wouldnt mind)

secondly, it was just a good read. like i really enjoyed reading it, which hasnt happened for a while. it made me smile and laugh in public (which i never do). fr i was having a giggle on the bus, in class, in doctors waiting rooms, everything. i actually looked forward to reading it as well and i had to trudge through other stuff just so i could get back to it.

lowkey gives love simon vibes (from what i remember of the book when i read it in like 2018), just chock full of natural and believable sounding dialogue and references to things im sure ill actually like. (in my notes app on my old phone i went through the book and wrote down all the references made in love simon and it was pretty extensive (and now i have to do this for this book. oh no guess ill have to read it again oh this is so sad whelp better start now see ya)).

and like the friendship between the characters, the dialogue never felt too forced and they talked like actual people id talk to. swearing at and bullying your friends is a love language and it was done pretty well in this, and also the sending of memes being like an important step in a friendship is too real. also the revival of interest in records, my cousins poor bank account is a testament to that being relatable.

thirdly, the story. we got enemies to friends to lovers, we got 'there was only one bed', we got a road trip, we got a sickfic, and so much more and you know that i ate it up every time.

that as well as the epic highs and lows of making friends in your 20s (lol).

the book follows Malcolm slowly becoming friends with this irl dude Peter while falling for this 'mysterious' radio host Rebo, with his friends supporting him the whole time.

like i dont really go for romantic style stories but this was just so good (but then again ive barely read anything since back when i used to inhale books at like age 12) + the chemistry between Malcolm and Peter was just chefs kiss so good man.

also, the name Goby (one of his friends) kinda got me tho ngl, gobby is australian slang for… something, and i got a jump scare whenever they showed up lol.

Edit: they Goby on my Gumby till I Cheese. I'm so fucking sorry I had to write that down I couldn't get to sleep.

the only bad thing about the book (not that its bad bad, just like if i had to pick something) would be that the ending was made out of like 3 epilogues with indeterminable time skips between them. unless i missed something idk. im just more about the 'the characters kept on living' kinda ending, less 'albus serverus potter' style stuff, not that it was even like that tho.

but also wanting to own and run an incredibly specific cafe+store with your partner is just so fucking gay. oh my god. fanfiction shit right there /pos.

lastly, i haven't read heaps of books in the last couple years, preferring movies and shows more than my childhood self who lived in books series, almost like i didnt like reality or something (unthinkable ik)(i literally had this printed out and hung on my wall)(and on me liking movies more, thats a whole nother fucking topic and a half so ill complain about it in another post)(but anyway).

like honestly, i think that i might get back into reading, even though i forgot how many hours just fly by when i read, cos this was just great. (dont tell my mum she'll throw a fucking party)(again, different topic).

also admittedly, i did sotra kinda maybe slightly pirated it and read it off a pdf BUT! cos i like it so much im probably going to buy a physical copy (for almost 40 fucking dollars including shipping Jesus fucking Christ)

ik not a single person but me will see this review but i dont care. this book was made for me about me

tldr:

[v-anrouge]

On friendship scape I give you 9.9/10!! You’re very comforting and easy to talk to and always indulgent to rambles or vents, the only reason I took of .1 is because I feel we don’t talk as often as we could, and I while appreciate you always making sure I feel safe enough to infodump or talk about life, I get the feeling that you don’t really feel comfortable enough to do the same with me? (Though i’d never force you to, let’s be honest) other than that, I’d say over all you’re amazing to interact with and your excitement and feral-ness is HIGHLY contagious^^ also I have most definitely subconsciously yoinked a few words you often use in speech and now I cannot stop using them. I had to edit this like 3 times because I kept putting them in lol

(It’s probably incredibly easy to figure out who this is haha)

THAYS SUCH A HIGH SCORE PLEASE 😿😿 thank u for being honest nonnie, i really apologize for making you feel like i don't trust you, i promise that im not doing it on purpose but i think that i might know why i give off that feeling, i don't like to burden people with my vents because i feel guilty and normally just vent to people when i feel connected to them to the point my intrusive thoughts won't speak louder than my need to vent, recently one of the people that i felt incredibly connected to really hurt me and that definitely had an impact on how much i trust people, this always happens tbh i trust someone too much they leave and then i stop venting to people and being as vulnerable for a bit, i actually can't rlly tell who this is so i tried to word this very carefully because although i love all my friends i do trust some more than others so like i don't want to make a friend i trust completely and feel very connected to think they don't matter to me as much as they thought but i don't think i did a good job at that lskdjwjd

id rlly appreciate if you could call me on dms and talk to me so i can express my feelings properly tho if u don't feel comfortable to do so then its okay. it's very hard to express my feelings ngl this text is a mess 😭😭 but i promise im not acting like this on purpose /srs

im honestly very honored you like me to the point you started to talk like me???? like that genuinely made me so so happy😭😭 i love u nonnie im rlly sorry that i cant recognize you and express my feelings properly but yeah if u feel comfortable then plz call me so we can talk!

[elffees]

Damn I never thought of it that way but the comparison of Helis and Regalla vampires is a great one because you’re so right, their voices and authority and bloodthirsty align with that archetype, great observation! I’m also hoping for a remaster one day of HZD so we can see that Mo-capped goodness of all the original characters

Usually I’d be against remasters of a game that still runs and looks phenomenal, and even tho ZD was released all the way back in 2014, it still looks like smthg that could’ve been released only like 2 or 3 years ago as the graphics still hold up extremely well.

But with that said, I definitely agree with you that mo-capped ZD would be an excellent remaster (not anytime soon tho!) I just don’t know if it’s smthg Guerilla would actually do as I imagine it would cost a LOT of money they’d rather put to a new game. But it is a nice possibility to think about.

EDIT: Zero Dawn was actually released in 2017!!!!! Yeah no it does not need a remaster any time soon lol

Helis was already menacing, I can’t imagine how much more frightening he’d be if given more realistic body movement and facial expressions. (I have to say it already speaks to the talent of his VA that he was able to give Helis so much life in voice alone)

And yes! Their personas remind me of vampires very much!!

They’re both exceptional in power to the point it borders on unnatural. Helis’ build and bare handed strength is terrifying in how he was able to deadlift Aloy with zero struggle. Not to mention his forces almost took and completely demolished Meridian. Regalla overpowered Hekarro and his supporters TWICE and only failed both times because of Aloy’s intervention. Both of these people would’ve succeeded if the technologically advanced protagonist had not stepped in.

There is a slow, sultry confidence in their mannerisms. They’re incredibly intense and their deluded speeches are almost mesmerizing. Similar to a vampire extending its fangs, what they’re saying is horrible but the spectacle keeps you from looking away. I can’t be the only one that exhausted all of Regalla’s dialogue options after sparing her, or listened to all the Helis datapoints in the Eclipse Base, and felt like I was holding my breath as they spoke.

And if we really wanna lay on the vampire comparisons, we can point out how their most dangerous ability is that they can “turn” others. While both are strong, what actually makes them effective is when they learn how to override machines. Sending their new converts out into the world to terrorize their opponents.

All of it makes me wonder how things would’ve turned out if Regalla and her rebels had reached their peak while Helis and the Eclipse were at their full strength. Of course they’d hate each other as they’re direct ideological opposites. But they’re also so extremely similar that it would be two divinely horrific people butting heads with everyone else caught in the crossfire.