#its actually insane how bad I need this song released

[gl1tched-g0th]

CRANE WIIIVES

RELEASE SCARS FOR THE NEXT SINGLE

AND MY LIFE. IS YOURS.

[starfallforest]

Stop putting 'Too Sweet' by Hozier in your Sylus playlists

I am sorry—this was clickbait. I don’t actually care what you do with your life. But I need you to hear me out for just a second, okay? I am extremely not neurotypical about two things: Love and Deepspace, and Andrew John Hozier-Byrne. And I have seen more than one person in the tags talk about "Too Sweet" by Hozier being a perfect song for Sylus and MC. My only discourse about this is that Too Sweet is a song about a man who makes continuous self-sabotaging life decisions being incompatible with a partner who has her life put together. In my humble opinion, both Sylus and MC are hot messes of people in completely different ways. Anyway, it’s a good song so I don’t blame you for putting it in every playlist ever. In fact, you should. But if you're into this song, I want to show you a couple more pls pls pls 🙏​

I might just be autistic, but both Hozier's music and Love and Deepspace have something extremely important in common… and that’s BEAUTIFUL MEN YEARNING!!!1 And that’s not even to mention the haunting, raw sexuality we can project onto the stories that each of these things feeds to us. That's why I needed to make this post on the 1% chance that someone might hop on this brainrot train with me. So let me present, for just a moment of your time (if you're willing): other Hozier songs that fit Sylus so well I want to combust about it.

De Selby (Parts 1 & 2):

“At last, when all of the world is asleep You take in the blackness of air The likes of a darkness so deep That God—at the start—couldn't bear.” [azlyrics] [gaelic translation]

Imagine just casually writing THE love song that so beautifully says, “Before you were in my life, I kinda understood how God felt before he created the universe.” Excuse me? Andrew just dropped this stanza on us without so much as a cw: fuck you. And if that sickening portrait of gnawing loneliness isn’t enough, we have all the Genesis God references. Since all the LIs in the game are at some point likened to gods or rivaling gods with their power, then add the reverberating instrumentals and chillingly slow vocals in this 2-minute killer, tell me how this song does not fit Sylus. Not only that, but we also have imagery of his lover descending upon him like the night (which is invoked during Part 1 in the Gaelic verse), and I know that’s on the nose for Sylus but come on. I need you guys writing smut to have an orgasm during De Selby (at least Part 2) because it might change ur brain chemistry I'm just saying.

“When you fall on me like night—I wanna kill the lights.” [azlyrics]

This song still rules irt its playing with darkness symbolism, but it also refers to the darkness in the singer’s lover—which in Sylus’ case is MC and we all were there when she shot the guy in the heart like his freaky eye was telling her: “And your heart, love, has such darkness—I feel it in the corners of the room…” my goddddddd stop right there I can’t handle the METAPHORrrr. You think Sylus gives a flying fuck about MC’s frivolous morality bullshit? No he wants her to embrace her own darkness, sit under the blankies with him and cuddle after doing crimes and a beat poetry session. This is some fucking Hannibal Lecter beyond-dark-romance shit. I’m not even trying to write a dissertation here (and yet…)

Talk (from Wasteland, Baby!):

“I'd be the sweet feeling of release mankind now dreams of, That's found in the last witness before the wave hits, marveling at God… Imagine being loved by me.” [azlyrics]

Not only does this song utilize insane Greek mythology metaphor and Biblical comparison but the overall meaning of it is, “I want you so bad, I need to speak poetically to hide how down bad I am for you.” That sounds kinda like Old World Sylus and all his pretty nicknames to me.

NFWMB:

“If I was born as a black thorn tree, I'd wanna be felled by you, held by you, Fuel the pyre of your enemies… Ain't it warming you, the world going up in flames?” [azlyrics]

This whole song just some hard, deep and steady yearning for 4 and a half minutes. Are you kidding? The acronym in the title stands for Nothing Fucks With My Baby, which is sung in the chorus like some quietly violent war chant—soft, dark, and powerful. Anyway don’t tell me Mr. Sylus “Give me a list and then go to bed. I’ll take care of it” Loveanddeepspace wouldn’t scorch the earth for the love of his life—or do one better and stand by her side while she scorches the earth herself; here’s the protective/supportive mans anthem you ordered babes.

It Will Come Back:

“I know who I am when I'm alone—I'm something else when I see you. You don't understand, you should never know How easy you are to need.” [azlyrics]

This song has repeated imagery that warns of the dangers of taking care of a feral animal, and then compares the feral animal to the singer as a lover. Like fuck off, that’s sexy and haunted. And we know that not only does Sylus love animals more than people, but he’s pretty animalistic himself if we are to believe that maybe he’s secretly a demon or something.

Arsonist’s Lullaby:

“Don't you ever tame your demons, but always keep them on a leash.” [azlyrics]

Remember in Lost Oasis when MC goes on some tangent wondering what Sylus' past was like? Well it was this song. It's about troubled youth and learning to grow in your darkness. Also how cool is that imagery of demons? Hey Sylus, what do you have to say about demons? I'll wait. In the meantime I'm tattooing this shit on my clavicle

BONUS ROUND Through Me:

“Everytime I’d burn through the world, I’d see that the world—it burns through me.”

We got a man and we got some fire allusions so there ya go.

Blood Upon the Snow:

“To all things housed in her silence, Nature offers a violence.”

Blood upon the snow—it's red and white! Red!! And white!!! Also kind of a Sylus x Zayne anthem lbr

Ok I hope you found another song that inspires you to make Sylus art or fanfic with!! And before you ask, yes I've already assigned Hozier songs to every other love interest in the game. Ok thanks for reading!!! 🏃‍♀️​💨​

[plague-karm]

Different takes I have based on my interests and other miscellaneous things because I’m bored.

•Bill Cipher is never getting redeemed, ever, I adore his character but I can admit when my faves are horrible people. Oh and the way some people write the Handyman Bill au makes me REALLY uncomfortable as an abuse survivor. Why do some people write it like it’s the Pines family’s responsibility for Bill’s actions? Thats so fucked, especially with Ford (the ones where they basically shit talk Bill the entire time he’s at the Mystery Shack is funny as fuck though more of that please)

•The “Jax is an NPC” theory is boring and it would make him a lot less compelling as a character if that was the case

•You can still love Danganronpa and admit that the fanservice (ESPECIALLY the stuff with Mikan) is gross

•DNI lists will inevitably attract the people in those lists to harass and piss off whoever the account is and that’s why I don’t use them

•The original Monster flavour tastes like condensed piss and I will never understand the people who drink it when every other flavour soloes it by comparison

•The second half of the Death Note anime isn’t bad at all people were just too busy huffing on L copium to care, also, Mello was one of the best characters in the entire show

•Most of Killstar’s collaborations are terrible, the Monster High collection is one of the most disappointing things I’ve ever seen and it all looks so uninspired and bland (they saved themselves a bit with the second Gloomy Bear collab they did but most of the designs for their collabs are really tacky).

•Hear me outs are becoming incredibly sterilised, there’s a big difference between a hear me out and a character you find attractive

•Also, humans (both real and fictional) along with any Hellaverse characters do not count as hear me outs (to me anyway I’m not the hear me out police)

•Ultrakill will be seen as one of the greatest games of all time once it’s fully released, it is an absolute masterclass in immersion and presentation and the soundtrack is one of the best I’ve ever heard

•I like the DHMIS show a bit more than the web series

•Resellers need to be called out more, I’ll probably make a separate post talking about this more but it gets BAD. Not all of them are bad (especially on Vinted) but the overcharging in certain fandoms is insane (especially with Sanrio stuff it’s actually disgusting)

•Lloromannic have the potential to be some of the most popular Sanrio characters of all time but their potential goes nowhere

•Prima is one of the most misused Vocaloids of all time and it HURTS. When she’s used properly she sounds GORGEOUS but most people use her for pop stuff and she sounds awful there. Shes an OPERALOID, she’s meant for OPERA. Stop misusing her (I also don’t like any of her designs I’m sorry-)

•SeeU is also very underrated, Alone is one of my favourite Vocaloid songs it’s really vibey

•Monster High G3 is very overhated. There are still some designs I don’t like (Iris’ design hurts me, the character with the same body type as me gets the weakest outfit fuck 💀) but its representation is really good (Twyla not being shamed for needing headphones in loud spaces made me so happy)

•ROTTMNT’s version of Donatello is some of the best autism rep I’ve ever seen, I’ve never identified with an autistic character more than I have with him and the fact that the show’s in limbo makes me really upset

•Robo Fizz’ design > normal Fizz’ design

•I don’t care how many songs you give Stolas I will always see Octavia as the victim in that situation and the fact that the crew see her as a “cock block” pisses me off

•Phosphophyllite will go down as one of the greatest protagonists in recent memory, their story is heartbreaking and no one in that manga deserved a happy ending more than them

•Vinted is the best reseller app and it’s not even close

•I don’t care if Art The Clown never gets a backstory, he’s a silly little guy who kills people in horrific ways and I’m fine with that

•Making it a rule to not talk about certain fandoms on big Discord servers is fucking useless, an old autism server I was on went to shit when this happened, just ignore them and move on

•The addictive nature of Character AI needs to be talked about more, I’ve only began to realise how bad it is recently, it’s negatively affected my writing abilities, do NOT download it (especially if you’re mentally ill) you WILL get addicted to it and it isn’t fun. I’ve deleted it and I’m going to try to get into better habits, never again

• William Afton is an evil bastard and that’s okay, he never needed any redeemable traits and I really like that they’re making him do some Saturday morning cartoon level shit while also making him a threat (The Golden Bite in Into The Pit is as funny as it is horrific)

•I don’t care how many times the Fnaf games will try and gaslight me into seeing the Pinkypills Afton design as him, I will ALWAYS picture Matthew Lillard when thinking of this character (also I never want to see any Pinkypills or Ladyfiszi art in the games ever again they’re terrible people and they should’ve gotten fired years ago)

•Rage bait is the key factor in what made the internet a significantly more miserable place, start saying pizza with random fruit on is good again stop with the racist and misogynistic bullshit

•CaseOh being one of the most popular streamers right now brings me joy, in a time where so many male streamers are some of the most miserable and out of touch cunts in existence, having one of the most popular ones be a seemingly normal and chill guy is so refreshing

•I respect Illumination as a studio a lot more than others would think, in an age where horror stories are coming out surrounding every animation studio in existence, I have yet to hear one about Illumination. Do I like their movies? Not really (some of them are kind of fun and the Sing movies are guilty pleasures) but they seem a lot more ethical than other studios (also they’ve openly mocked AI that’s fucking awesome lmao)

•Murder Drones needed more episodes/time to explore certain ideas, that final episode felt like a SEASON finale, not a SERIES finale (no complaints about Cyn though I adore her)

•The art style change to Soul Eater to Soul Eater Not! Will go down as one of the biggest downgrades in history

Anyway that’s it I’m tired I’ll make another one of these when I feel like it I wanna go to bed

[folkwhore1998]

I just don't understand...

how you don't miss me in the black dog

I had no idea what to expect with this album. Taylor's brand is "never let them know your next move"

So, was it going to be more of a folklore/evermore/red vibe? Or was it going to be pop in the way midnights was? I did not think it was going to be straight up pop, but you just never know. I don't have cable so it can be really hard for me to watch award shows in real time, so I pulled a few strings so I could stream the grammys and thank god I did. I could not believe the album announcement and I was honestly gagged about the whole thing.

Now... This is a devastatingly beautiful album and is so vulnerable and raw.

The Prophecy... she literally said "I will go bankrupt. I will give up everything because I am hurting so much I need someone to tell me things are going to be okay and I don't care what I have to do to get this confirmation/assurance. I just want someone to love me the way I love them and I don't care about the superficial things." and she was so real for that.

The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived... the first time I listened to it was like 12:30 AM on album release night/day, and I was yaknow, chilling, listening. and then we hit the bridge... my jaw hit the floor. I literally shot up in bed and was like "holy fuck." when i thought the song was wrapping up, it just kept going. Obviously I had to listen to it again right after it ended. (and I am NOT mad about it. I feel this song in my bones) ((My fiance was also dead asleep during all of this and I made him listen to it at like 10 AM the following day))

(peace: i'll die for you in secret ➜ TSMWEL: i would have died for your sins) ((actually screaming crying vomiting idk))

My favorite part of when she sings this on the eras tour is when she says "hey.. give this message to the smallest man who ever lived" and then turns to the audience and starts singing the bridge. She's like "Yup- heres this message, and another thing- fuck you!" literally incredible. i have an emotional attachment to this song. I could write an essay and honestly, maybe I will.

It's so funny to me because every time Taylor puts out a new album, there are some songs that I hear where i'm like "WOW. This is it. This is the song. She summed up my entire experience in a way I never could. I don't know how much more accurate she could get." And then she comes out with some insane song that keeps the cycle going.

(it's the cycle that keeps on giving and the cycle that keeps me alive! no, seriously. when i was in the hospital at one point in my life, i was asked everyday "and what is something you want to live for?" my answer: my cat and taylor swift's music")

All of this to say... I am so happy I was/am medicated when this album came out.

Here is my ranking of the Tortured Poets Department! (This was incredibly difficult because all of the songs are just so good. Noting that I don't think that any song is a bad song.)

The Black Dog

The Smallest Man

The Prophecy

How Did It End?

Guilty As Sin

My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys

loml (but sometimes it changes places- just depends on the day, but it never goes lower)

Fresh Out The Slammer

But, Daddy I Love Him

Who's Afraid of Little Old Me?

So Long, London

Down Bad

I Can Do It With A Broken Heart

So High School

I Hate It Here

TTPD

Fortnight

Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus

Peter

Cassandra

Flordia!!!

The Alchemy

The Bolter

thanK you aIMee (thank You aimEe)

Clara Bow

The Albatross

The Manuscript

imgonnagetyouback

I Look In People's Windows

Robin

I Can Fix Him (no really I can)

Honorable mentions:

CHILLS

I was so shocked (I watched on a grainy livestream)

When I say I sobbed, I'm not joking. I texted my sister and said "You need to get on this livestream RIGHT NOW.

Check out these small businesses:

Here is the link to a down bad t-shirt: So good for the gym and its a comfort colors t-shirt!

Direct link to the storefront: They have so many cool items!

Check out the link: It's a TTPD vinyl/cd holder and it is actually the coolest thing I've ever seen (I will be purchasing)

Direct link to the storefront: There are a few different options! Check them out!

@taylorswift @taylornation @taylorswift @taylornation

[jlheon]

penggg! have you listened to bea’s new album? i did and i’m obsessed with california and one time!!

which song was your fave? plus, thoughts on the release? <333

missing your works 💗 (but take your time!!)

hai!!! these are my thoughts!!! (this is how it went & a cruel affair & everything i want) — btw this is kinda long u don’t have to read it all 😭😭

take a bite — 10/10 wbk. i am taking a bite hell yeah i am!!!! this song is so hoonki coded i will not explain further u just have to understand by being on my intellectual level.

california — 9/10 i want to go to california… the whole song is so woah icl! the bridge is insane oh my gosh I LOVE BEABADOOBEE

one time — 10/10 HECK YEAH!!! this song is literally me winning the idgaf war at all times! awesome beat n song n lyrics FUCK YOU !!!!! the outro is actually insane bea the lyrical genius you are… i love her so much

real man — 10/10 U WILL NEVER BE A REAL MAN!!!! this song is also like FUCK U!!! i think i hate men guys freak this i need a gf! again the outro is insane LAWD!!!!

tie my shoes — 9/10 i will sob n throw up this song is so woah. THE ONE PART “lied to a girl u hardly knew but the world thought of you” THE WAY SHE DELIVERS THE LINE IS SO CRAZY BEAUTIFUL I LOVE BEA SO MUCH PLZ TIE MY SHOES

girl song — 10/10 this song is a real representation of me fighting my demons every couple days when i have one of my weekly crash outs woah. i will sob n cry again this is so me unfortunately

coming home — 9/10 it was a 10/10 my first listens but i overplayed it sobs. oh but this song made me cry even just the demo version becoz it makes me think of being married n not having time for each other and that is terrifying LONG DISTANCE I WILL NEVER DO THAT PROLLY.

ever seen — 8.5/10 i like but not as much as the other songs YK. its very happy n peppy tho i hope i have a meetcute one day. TO TELL MY KIDS ABT BRU. this song is jake coded becuz hes the prettiest ever..

a cruel affair — 100/10 me song again! love this instrumental for realz. this song is too short it should be 3 minutes at minimum poo… this song barely has any lyrics too. EXTENDED VERSION PLEASEEEE

post — 8/10 for some reason i don’t understand what this song is about like i was analyzing the lyrics and i rlly don’t know but the song is awesome regardless

beaches — 10/10 Yes! i really want to go on vacation to a tropical place so i can dissociate for a while n get my shit together ngl.. THE INSTRUMENTAL BREAK IS SO GOOD BRU WTF PLEEK I LOVE BEA SM

everything i want — 1000/10 NEED THIS AT MY WEDDING /SRS. no like actually this song makes me so happy n bittersweet plz im everything you want (jake) can we plz get married ill never settle for a regular man. ok but in seriousness its so cute w the lyrics and i hope i feel this way abt someone n vise versa one day when im older! i want to be in love so bad…!!! on REPEAT.

the man who left too soon — 7/10 but only becoz i don’t resonate w any of the lyrics but the song is good it just has to grow on me i reckon…

this is how it went — 1000/10 THIS IS MY SONG. i love the beat so bad it makes me wanna cry but also sway around my room! this song is literally me i love sleeping n not talking to anyone hashtag peng core song!

[lonewolflink]

hey author! really liking WSC. I was wondering how did you get into itzy? there doesn't seem to be a lot of midzy writers, we need more like you!

hi anon! glad you're enjoying wsc :)

tbh i got into itzy sort of by chance/randomly? bit of a long/weird story lol...

i've listened to kpop on and off for a long time but never really Got Into It in a stan way (when i was in college i definitely had (and still have) a ton of blackpink on my gym playlist, and i always really liked mamamoo, but i wasn't really paying attention to kpop culture at all or any content beyond the music itself). probably the closest i ever got was bigbang, and that was only because of my massive crush on taeyang :P

i'm in the last year of my phd program right now (if i'm able to finish my dissertation by the end of june, i'll defend and graduate in july! dr. link!!), and from what i saw in my time in grad school i knew the last year basically drove every phd student completely insane.

instead of trying to curb that insanity by becoming a mildly functional alcoholic or smoking too much weed i basically decided i'd funnel that insanity into FINALLY trying to understand kpop beyond casually listening to it, like understand the culture and the standom and the whole thing.

i knew i needed to pick a group to stan in order to do that, and i didn't want it to be blackpink even though i like them, since they release music so rarely (lol). so i was like ok you know what i haven't really listened to any kpop after 3rd gen. lemme see what 4th gen has to offer!

none of the 4th gen boy groups really caught my interest in a serious way (though i do really like some songs by stray kids and enhypen), so i turned to 4th gen gg. and like. holy shit 4th gen is literally the girl group golden age???

i was sort of listening around to some of the different 4th gen gg and really enjoying them, trying to find the right one for me, and then itzy's none of my business mv came up on my recommended on youtube, and i'd seen their name around. i clicked and...well. i was hooked.

i watched a bunch of the classic mvs (dalla dalla, wannabe, mafia), that one clip of lia singing can't take my eyes off of you, and like one compilation of OT5 being silly and chaotic. after that it was game over, i knew i'd found my group.

(and also i kinda love an underdog story; i think itzy's supposed "fall off" has been greatly exaggerated and with the overhaul of div 2 employees (...hopefully the marketing team) i am curious to see if they can recapture the 4th gen gg crown)

i wasn't at all expecting to write fic, tbh, especially not for a kpop group! i've actually never done it before, except maybe once when i was 13 and then immediately regretted it because i was bad at it lol. but in one of the most stressful years of my life, it became a really nice creative outlet for me, especially because i don't really have anyone irl to talk to when it comes to kpop and itzy.

in general, i've found midzys to be such a warm, welcoming group, at least here on tumblr and in the comment section on AO3 (i try to stay off twitter as much as possible).

and i didn't realize initially when i first stanned itzy, but turns out the whole jyp fam is really awesome! obviously the company has its issues, like any kpop company, but in general the jyp Vibes are really fun, and i've enjoyed listening more and learning about twice, skz, nmixx, etc.!

since my original goal (i guess?) was to understand the world of kpop, itzy ended up being the perfect group because, well. they have done almost every sub-genre of kpop at some point. they really can do it all! and as a group they've been on top, they've had their name raked through the mud, they've had a member on hiatus (...literally announced right after i decided to stan, RIP), been in a big transition period...

yeah man idk. it's been so interesting and fun to follow their journey, learn a lot about the kpop machine, do some really fun creative writing, give in to the insanity of being a stan, and listen to some really great music along the way. :)

anyway that's how we got here! sorry for the long-winded answer hahaha i guess i could've just said "last year of my phd program, went insane, instead of becoming addicted to drugs or alcohol i decided to become a kpop addict and my drug of choice is itzy" :P

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Michael After Midnight: "Sir Psycho Sexy" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers

For April Fool’s 2024, I decided to do a bit inspired by Todd in the Shadows called Ford Analyzes Tunes And Song Stuff, or FATASS for short (a little nod to how Todd’s moniker can be shortened to TITS). Basically people would send me a song, and I would give some wacky analysis or review of the song that was probably the opposite of my actual, genuine opinion. For example, for Nickleback’s “Photoraph,” I claimed the entire song was actually a bittersweet gay romance. It was a fun exercise in crafting absurdity from even the most mundane or stupid lyrics. But it did leave me wanting to review a song for real… and what better than one of my favorite songs of all time?

The Red Hot Chili Peppers are a band that need no introduction, but I’ll do it in case some of you out there don’t listen to good music and/or hate California: RHCP is a funk/alternative rock band formed in 1982, though they didn’t really cement their status as one of the best bands around until their release of the alt rock classic Blood Sugar Sex Magik in 1991, an album that produced the personal and powerful “Under the Bridge,” the hard rocking “Suck My Kiss,” and the all-time banger “Give It Away.” It’s a fantastic album, one of the most influential of its time, and many regard it as RHCP’s best work—including the band’s bassist, Flea. I’m certainly inclined to agree; it’s a nice middle ground between their heavily funk-influenced early work and their later more radio-friendly rock tunes. Don’t get the wrong idea here—they were, and still are, a very good band—but I think in my opinion the 90s were the decade where they really stood out from the crowd as trailblazers in the rock scene.

With that out of the way, it’s time to single out my absolute favorite song on the album to talk about: An eight minute long track titled “Sir Psycho Sexy.” With a title like that and an impressive length to match, you know you’re in for something bonkers, and I’d say the song delivers in spades; it’s a funky rap rock epic that is hornier than almost any song before or since. The rizz the titular Sir Psycho Sexy of the song displays is beyond that of any mortal man, and it is simply glorious. This song is also a song that inspired one of my Ocs—Flynn Dangerfield from the Rhine City series my wife and I are working on. If you’re unfamiliar with the character (and you shouldn’t be, the rough drafts for the story are pinned at the top of my blog), this is like if Alex Hirsch said Dipper and Mable were actually inspired by Flowers in the Attic.

If you don’t believe me, then read on as I riff on one of my favorite songs and showcase the brilliant lyrical insanity of a 90s rock band that was likely high as a kite while writing this. Also, this is your warning: These lyrics are insanely NSFW. This isn’t nearly as bad as the last song I riffed on, “Pregnant Pussy,” but it’s up there. You’ve been warned.

So this song is sort of a story, and every story has a main character. And what a character we have here; Sir Psycho Sexy is his name, and getting pussy is his game. How does one introduce such a man?

A long, long, long, long time ago Before the wind, before the snow Lived a man, lived a man I know Lived a freak of nature named Sir Psycho

Not a bad way to start things. Lead singer Anthony Kiedis really sets up Sir Psycho as some ancient, powerful force of nature, a being who has existed as long as there were babes to fuck and who is so eternal he was there before wind or snow. Mind you, this is before we get into all of his insane sexual feats and astounding prowess with the ladies, so we have the coolest guy in the universe right here. Let’s see what else there is to say about him:

Sir Psycho Sexy that is me Sometimes I find I need to scream

Oh. Ok then. So Anthony Kiedis is Sir Psycho Sexy. This is either self-insert Mary Sue fanfiction, or it’s an autobiographical tale describing things that actually happened. Let’s be super duper charitable and call it the latter. At any rate, the fact he just likes to scream sometimes is universally relatable.

Still, you may not be convinced how good the song is from this opener, as it can come off as blatant wish fulfillment fantasy. Thankfully, the second verse opens with the greatest lyrics ever written by a human hand:

Deep inside the garden of Eden Standing there with my hard on bleedin' There's a devil in my dick and some demons in my semen Good God no that would be treason

This is absolutely blasphemous, disgusting, degenerate, explicit, and one of the funniest fucking set of lyrics to ever be in a song. “There’s a devil in my dick and some demons in my semen” is not a phrase you hear every day, and it certainly won’t leave your head after you hear it. And don’t worry; things only get better from here!

Believe me Eve she gave good reason Booty looking too good not to be squeezin' Creamy beaver hotter than a fever I'm a givin' 'cause she's the receiver I won't and I don't hang up until I please her Makin' her feel like an over achiever I take it away for a minute just to tease her Then I give it back a little bit deeper

So I don’t know what could be expected, but Sir Psycho plowing the Biblical Eve is probably not the sort of thing you could imagine when first popping in to listen to this song. When you take into account his ancient nature from the first verse and the fact he’s got his boner dripping blood in Eden in the first few lines of verse two, this is really the only logical next step though. The real question here is, is Sir Psycho supposed to be Adam, or has Sir Psycho tied up Adam to watch as he busts in Eve more times than should be humanly possible? If he’s “Makin’ her feel like an over achiever,” I’ve gotta imagine he’s not stopping after round one, two, or even three. I do like the detail that Sir Psycho won’t give up until he pleases her; it’s very cool and considerate that he cares enough about his lover to ensure her satisfaction too.

I got stopped by a lady cop In my automobile She said get out and spead your legs And then she tried to cop a feel

Verse three begins with an extremely sad case of police brutality and sexual assault. Poor Sir Psycho was just driving along, minding his own business, when he’s pulled over for no crime whatsoever; the cop just wanted to fondle him. These lyrics really say a lot about our society, and the state of the police force in America when even gorgeous immortal studs aren’t safe from the pigs.

That cop she was all dressed in blue Was she pretty? Boy I'm tellin' you She stuck my butt with her big black stick I said, "What's up?" now suck my dick

Some interesting tidbits of information here: Sir Psycho enjoys being pegged, and he has a death wish. What kind of absolute madman says that to a cop that has them at his mercy? Does he really think he can turn the tab--

Like a ram getting ready to jam the lamb She whimpered just a little when she felt my hand On her crotch so very warm I could feel her getting wet through her uniform Proppin' her up on the black and white Unzipped and slipped, "Ooh, that's tight" I swatted her like no swat team can Turned a cherry pie right into jam

Are we sure this man is Anthony Kiedis and not British Prime Minister David Cameron? Cuz he sure does like fucking pigs! Sir Psycho, with his ancient pornomancy powers, takes “fuck the police” to a whole new level, completely turning around whatever situation he’d gotten himself into.

And now we get a shift in the instrumentation, and the lyrics kind of mellow out and almost feel a little romantic(at least in a 90s funk rock way):

Hello young woman that I love Pretty punk rock mama that I'm thinking of Hold me naked if you will In your arms in your legs in your pussy I'd kill To be with you, to kiss with you, I do miss you I love you Lay me down, lay me down, lay me down, lay me down Lay me down, lay me down, lay me down, lay me down Descending waves of graceful pleasure For your love there is no measure Her curves they bend with subtle splendor

This part genuinely feels so tender and, while it is extremely horny, Sir Psycho seems especially reverent of this woman, this amazing “punk rock mama.” I kind of think this segment pulls the entire song together, giving us a brief respite from the more overt sexuality and into something that genuinely sounds sweet, albeit in a decidedly horny sort of way.

Of course, we soon get back to Sir Psycho’s usual escapades in the final verse:

Now I lay me down to sleep I pray the funk will make me freak If I should die before I waked Allow me Lord to rock out naked

And after this, we get kinky before wrapping up this song and heading to an extended instrumental outro:

Bored by the ordinary time to take a trip Calling up a little girl with a bull whip Lickety split go snap, snap Girl gettin' off all in my lap The tallest tree the sweetest sap Blowin' my ass right off the map Ooh and it's nice out here I think I'll stay for a while

So full disclosure, this really, genuinely is one of my favorite songs of all time, and perhaps my favorite RHCP song. It’s so audacious, in-your-face, and unabashedly horny, and in a day and age when people seem hellbent on removing sex from art, it’s nice to go back to a simpler, sluttier time and jam out. Is the length a bit excessive? Sure, probably, but length like this is all Sir Psycho is capable of.

The song is honestly not too dissimilar from the last song I reviewed, “Pregnant Pussy” by UGK… at least in terms of audacity. Where that song was trying to be as disgusting and depraved as possible to get a reaction from the listener, essentially being the nastiest troll song you’ll ever here, this song is just very upfront with its sheer horniness. It only barely eases you in, with the opening leading right into blasphemous boasting and dick blood, and it just never stops. It slows down a bit in a couple parts, but overall it really is just an unrelenting force. The song’s length isn’t something you ever really feel, because it just goes from one dirty lyric to the next.

But I think the most important thing the song does is remind us we all have a little Sir Psycho Sexy inside us, and we all have been standing the garden of Eden with our hard on’s bleeding while there were devils in our dick and demons in our semen. Maybe the real dick devils were the friends we made along the way.

[greenerteacups]

Merry Swiftmas! I saw your note at the end of the most recent chapter. What are you Tortured Poet Department thoughts and feelings?

Literally just got back from a listening party so this is all coming in VERY fresh and unprocessed but first reactions:

The unfortunate exigencies of Industry Shit have kind of hurt Swift creatively because (1) she's been taught she can have her cake and eat it too with the Grammy-winning 15-track sonically cohesive tone album if she just drops it separately as the first act of a 30-song behemoth deluxe edition/multiverse of bonus tracks, and (2) the Vault Tracks have taught her that fans actually do want to hear every single thing she writes, even if she (rightly) might have thought it wasn't release-quality 5-10 years ago. Long story short there is a good album in here but it needs to be TIGHTLY pruned out because a lot of these songs are either underwritten or underdeveloped or both. She should've focused her energy on improving a smaller set (i.e. cleaning out some of the clunker lines, tightening melodies, giving each song its own identity) and cutting like, more or less the last third of the tracks. That being said! I did like a lot of it.

I also think some people fail to understand Swift is a pop artist making pop music. When we say she's a good lyricist, we don't mean she's fucking Samuel Coleridge, it means she uses the medium of a pop song successfully to communicate a mood or an emotional experience. Pop is vernacular; it's supposed to evoke the kind of language you hear every day. Not surprisingly, I find her at her best when she's not trying to affect some kind of heightened poetic mood. Songs like "Would've, Could've, Should've" straddle this line pretty well for me, because it's not affected, it's just... intelligently thought-through. It's a single metaphor, taken from multiple angles, explained well, and set to a great melody. It's not trying to impress you, but it still does. Anyway.

Miscellaneous/specific thoughts:

"Guilty as Sin?" is my favorite, it's going to be one of my most played songs of the year, both for reasons of Oh Shit It Me and because I'm just straight up in love with the sound of this motherfucker. No analysis it makes the happy juices in the brain go

Other favorites: So Long London, Fresh Out The Slammer, The Bolter, Daddy I Love Him

"thank you aimee" is a reprise of "Mean" addressed semi-obviously to Kim K/the Collective Nation of Haters of Taylor Swift, which was a weak diss track when it was a teenager singing it and has not improved in the mouth of a 30-something artist

"But Daddy I Love Him" is conversely a very successful ironic reprise of "Love Story," and I'm fond of it because it reads like a love letter to the girls who grew up on that song

Interesting strains of Reputation on "Little Old Me," I feel like there was an earlier draft of this song that went harder on the Bad Blood/Don't Blame Me vibe, but she's still scarred from the critical reaction to reputation and hasn't fully gone there since. Which is why someday I will throttle the Pitchfork editor with my bare hands

Florida!!! feels like it needed some more production besides Jack Antonoff sitting on the synths with a jackhammer but I do like it. The bridge/second half sounds a lot like a Bleachers song (compliment)

"So High School" was sweet and I was surprised by how much I liked that and "The Alchemy," both of which are fun but ultimately simple and sentimental — which is GOOD to be clear I don't go looking for Proust in my pop music, and simplicity can be a virtue

However, I scream-laughed in a full room when I heard the line "you can ball and I know Aristotle," and I look forward to thinking about it once a day for the next forever. Insane. So good. Also, like — Taylor, have you read the Politics? You are legally obligated to tell us now if you have read the Politics.

[moonlit-stay]

(合 (HOP) Edition)

This is me writing out my thoughts of each song as I'm listening to them.

Feel free to ignore this😂

-

Walkin On Water thoughts:

GOD THE THUNDEROUS VIBES ARE SO, SO VISUALLY STRONG FOR THIS AND I CANNOT EXPLAIN HOW MUCH I LOVE IT

MISS THAT ERA SO MUCH

HOW THE FUCK DO THEY ABSOLUTELY DEVOUR EVERYTHING THEY TOUCH AND BREATHE NE A R I'M LOSING IT

MY MUSICAL PIONEERS🥹😭

GOD THIS SONG IS SO GOOD, AND THE FITS???????

CHRISTOPHER???? SIR????

GOD, RAP LINES VERSESSSS

Bounce Back thoughts:

OH MYIS FUCKIND GOD

HIT ME PLEASE WHAT THE FUCK

WHAT RHE FUCK. DID FELIX SAY????

HELIOKDJDJSHSJXDK

OH MY FUCKKNG GOD MY JAW HOT THE FLOR

I'M GENUINELY TWEAKING THIS IS SODJXIEJEJEIDJDJDH

RHE FUXKKNG VOACALS?????@?#>#>×>×<'

OH MY FUCKKNG GOD THID SONG

BANG CHAN???? THE FUCKJNG CLAPS????

MY BRAIN GENUINELY CANNOT COMPREHEND THIS SONG IS REAL LOED HELP ME

U (feat. TABLO) thoughts:

OH I AM EXCITED FOR THIS ONE

OG DEAR GOD THE BEAUTIFUL FUCKINF VOCALS

I WILL NEVER GET OVER THE EVOLUTION OF HYUNJIN AND FELIX'S VOCALS I AM IN LOVEEEEEEE

FELIX'S VOCAL RANGE IS SO INSANE MY GOD

WE TRULY SNAGGED SOME OF THE BEST VOCALISTS IN THE INDUSTRY. ARGUE WITH THE WALL.

I LOVE THIS SONG OH MY GOD

Walkin On Water (HIP Ver.) thoughts:

FUCKING HITTTTTT MEEEEEEEEEEEE

I SAID THIS ABOUT THE ROCK VERSION OF LALALALA AND THE FESTIVAL VERSION OF CHK CHK BOOM, BUT THIS VERSION OF WALKIN ON WATER AT MUSIC FESTIVALS WOULD HIT SO GODDAMB HARD

OH J LIVE THSI

THE WAY THEYRE RELEASING THESE VERSIONS AS PART OF THE ACTUAL ALBUMS???? SO GOOD

THIS HITS SO HARD OH MY GOD

Railway (Bang Chan) thoughts:

I AM NOT FUCKJNG READY LORD GOD

OH MY FUCIJG FOS

JAW IS ON THE FLOOR I CANNOTTTTT44

I HAVEN'T HEARD THIS ALL THE WAY THEOUGH YET, SO I AM LOSING IT

CHRISTOPHER FUCKING BANG

GOD THIS IS SO, SO FUCKING GOOD I CANNOT EXPLAIN

I NEED TO JUNPTHIS MANS NONES GOD PLEASE

CAN'T WAIT TO HEAR WHO HE SAYS WROTE THESE LYRICS🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

A BRICK WALL HE PASSES ONCE A WEEK PROBABLY

Unfair (Felix) thoughts:

THE VISUALS FOR THIS FUCKING STAGE??????????

BEAUTIFUL ETHEREAL PRETTY, PRETTY BOY

HIS FUCKJNG VLICE

I WILL GO BANKRUPT FOR THESE VOCALS

I USED TO PRAY FOR THIS PLEASE

In all honesty, there's something about him being our sunshine and releasing songs like this that jumbles my brain. Such a bright, happy boy with deep, meaningful, and kinda sad songs :(

HALLUCINATION (I.N) thoughts:

AHHHHHHHH IM NOR RAEDY

OH MY FUCKKGN FOSF

THE...FUXKING...FITS...MY...BRAJN...

I CANT RHINK STRAUGHT

I STILL FUCKING HEAR "Girl, I wanna see you naked" AND I CANT FUCKING JNHEAT IY

NAWT HELPING MY CASE YANG JEONGIN

AHAHJDI O G MT SGUCK G FOSBH

THE MAKNAE RELEASING A SONG LIOE THIS MAKES ME SO HAPPY, HE DOES NOT WANNA BE BABIED ANYMORE

Youth (Lee Know) thoughts:

PRETTY BOY LETS GOOOOO

THE UNVEIL TRACK FOR THIS IS SO CUTE I LOVE IT I LOVE HIM LORD

I WILL NEVER SHUT UP ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE HIS VOICE

HE'S PERFECT

THIS SONG MAKES THE DEEPEST PARTS OF MY SOUL HAPPY

So Good (Hyunjin) thoughts:

VERSACE PRINCE FUCK THIS SHIT UPPPPPP

THIS IS SO HIS FUCKING VIBE OH MY GOD

MY FUCKING GODSDDDSSS

THIS IS SO FUCOING GOOD OG MY LORDDDDD

THE UNVEIL TRACK ON MY MINDDDDDDDDD

I LOVE SEEIMG HIM ENJOY PERFORMING AND THIS SONG IS JUST SO FUCKING PERFECT FOR THAT I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS

SEEING HKM HAPPY IS MY FAVORITE

OH MY FUCK???????

GODDAMNNNNNNNNNNNN

ULTRA (Changbin) thoughts:

YEEEEEEE3EEES

THINKING ANIUT THIS BUFF MANS STAGES FIT FOR THIS SONG LORD HAVE MERCY

WHO FUCKING KNEW WE WOUOD GO FROM SONGS LIKE STREETLIGHT TO DOODLE AND ULTRA🫠🫠🫠🫠

I LOVE THIS SO FUCKJNG BAD DUDE MH GOD

NEED HIM TO CHOKE ME OUT ACTUALLY???????

GODDAMNNNNDIXJ3HSUFIEJSH

Hold my hand (HAN) thoughts:

OUR FUCKING ROCKSTAR MUSICAL PRODIGY

OH THIS FUXKING VIBE

I LOVE HIS MUSICAL VIBE SO MUCH ITS JUST SO SO PERFECT

GOD HIS FJCKING VOICEEEEE

THERE TRULY IS NOTHKNG THIS MAN CAN'T DO GOD THE TALENT

NAME ONE TIME HE HAS NOT ABSOLUTELY KILLED HIS HIGH NOTES????? EXACTLY. AND THE CYCLE CONTINUES.

As we are (Seungmin) thoughts:

I WAS GENUINELY UPSET WHEN I REALIZED THIS IS THE LAST SKNG OF THE ALBUM??? EVEN TJOUGH IM HONNA BE LISTENING TO NOTHKNG BUT THIS ALBJM FOR OVER A MONTH STRAIGHT?????

THE UNIVERSE'S VOCALIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I COULD LISTEN TOBHIM FOREVER AND EVER MY CHRISTTTTTTT

SUCH AN INCREDIBLY BEAUTY VOICE FOR AN INCREDIBLY BEAUTIFUL MAN I LOVEEEEEE

THESE INDIVIDUAL SONGS ARE THROWING MY EMOTIONS ALL OVER THE GODDAMB MAP HAVE MERCY I BEG

GOD I LOVE HIM AND HOS PERFECT VOICE

THIS SONG IS SO SO BEAUTIFUL

ITS LIKE ANGELS ARE SINGING TO ME BRO GOOD LORD

Final thoughts:

As per usual, so insanely proud of my eight and I'm so glad I'm still here and just as eager to support them and their journey as I was last year, and all the years before that.

There has been so many instances where I've seen or heard these eight do something and thought, "there's truly no group who can do this like Stray Kids does," and that still heavily stands to this day. Nobody is doing it like them and I will die on this hill.

All that aside, I'm so proud to be a STAY and I can't wait to watch them continue to dominate this industry. I truly love my eight endlessly🥹

Also very excited for my albums to get here🫣

[thelostgirl21]

So, apparently, there's an actual short story called "A Little Sacrifice" where a Prince falls in love with a real mermaid in The Witcher's universe...

And Netflix is supposed to release an anime called "Sirens of the Deep", where Geralt and Jaskier get involved in the situation.

My question is: will this be happening before or after the events of Season 3?!

Because having a freaking Prince (Radovid) hearing Jaskier's songs, finding them "irresistible", and becoming heavily drawn to him as a result gives off crazy strong Prince/Siren vibes.

And metaphorically speaking, the whole song follows their story arc in Season 3 right down to the "twilit red horizon" (Redania's color is red, so is obviously blood and its association with death and murder...) and the Prince sadly immediately "sinking to darkest night" on his very first attempt to swim.

So, if Jaskier and Geralt had already met a mermaid and a Prince that had fallen in love with each other before the events of Season 3, and Jaskier had already written a whole ballad about it (that Ciri ended up learning) before he met Radovid, I'm thinking his own situation would have felt like such an insanely strong case of déjà vu!

[Note: In the short story, it's the Siren that swaps fin for foot, not the Prince. If the song is about "Sirens of the Deep", this means that either the ending of the short story has been changed...

... or something bad happened as a result of the mermaid's choice, and Jaskier decided to give them a different ending where the Prince attempts to become a mermaid, but finds himself sinking and needing the Siren's help (to embrace him and the choice he made, regardless of its consequences)?]

Otherwise, that means Jaskier composed that ballad with Radovid in mind in Season 3.

And then, on his travels with Geralt, winds up meeting an actual mermaid that fell in love with a freaking Prince - essentially facing the same dilemma he's been going through with Radovid - and probably would be going "WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?! Is the world trying to fucking tell me something?! Unbelievable!"

I can already imagine the conversations...

Sh'eenaz: You couldn't possibly understand what it's like to -

Jaskier: Save it! I wrote a fucking song about it! And you know what? It was a pretty good one, too! Filled with plenty of symbolism and poetry... But you two just had to show up and turn it into a literal thing, didn't you? Now, each time people will be singing my song, they'll just believe it's all about Prince Aglobal -

Sh'eenaz: Agloval

Jaskier: Whatever! And forget I had already seduced a Prince with my songs, and been offered to go live with him in a castle before you two even met! Oh! And by the way, my Prince is now the King of Redania - the most powerful nation of the Northern Kingdoms - the only one that might be able to stop the Nilfgaardians! He's way more important than -

Sh'eenaz: So, did you accept?

Jaskier: Accept what?

Sh'eenaz: To give up the life you had before to be with him?

Jaskier: *Forgets all about his rant and lets out a heavy sigh.*. It's complicated... *Hesitates* I think I might have? Especially if Ciri had decided she wanted to go to Redania to unite it with Cintra, and become the Queen she'd always dreamed of becoming... But then, Ciri went missing, the Second War began, he actually did offer to come with me instead, but then his brother was brutally murdered and he was crowned King instead...

Sh'eenaz: So, he was willing to sacrifice his world for you?

Jaskier: I guess... I mean, I think he meant it...

Sh'eenaz: Well, at least you two breathe the same air, and you can both walk... And Geralt's mate, from what I've heard, is a powerful sorceress that knows how to create portals. It's not like you can't quickly travel between your two worlds when you miss your family, thanks to her, and he can't accompany you on those visits at times, too...

Jaskier: ...

Sh'eenaz: ...

Jaskier: Yeah, I think your Prince should definitely follow you at sea. Humans are idiots.

Sh'eenaz: Well, if he does, maybe you could write a ballad about us; make it one where a Prince falls in love with a dashing travelling bard, then chooses to renounce his throne to accompany him on his travels?

Jaskier: Yeah, you wait right here in your *motions at the bay surrounding them* little pond; I'll go see your Prince and either convince him to come here and join you, or grab and throw him right into the sea myself! After that, I've got a King to catch...

[lemonthepotato]

Bluntly: Some of Y’all Need To Chill.

If this was an essay, I would open this up with:

“Herd mentality (also mob or pack mentality) describes how people can be influenced by the majority. Social psychologists study the related topics of group intelligence, crowd wisdom, groupthink, and deindividuation.”

But this isn’t an essay. It’s a personal anecdote. In 2015, I discovered, or perhaps earlier, a song by��� let’s call her Leilani Ortinez. I’m not kidding; Ortinez is a real surname. How many ‘nez’ surnames are there? Ortinez, Gonzales- the other ones. Anyway, Leilani had one album at the time, and one EP. I was young, so listened to them. When the music video for… Shush… let’s call the song Shush, came out, I was uncomfortable even as a 10 year old. Those music videos were weird.

Anyway, in 2017, she got accused of SA by a former friend. The internet, in all its glory, treated the allegations like an inconvenience more than a serious issue. They were waiting for someone to debunk the allegations so they could support their musical overlord. And someone delivered. That someone?

The Crow.

The Crow uploaded a video called ‘Why I No Longer Believe [The Victim].” At the time, I didn’t think anything of it. In 2018 and 2019, I remained impartial.

But then, that same person uploaded a 2 hour video further ‘debunking’ things, I watched it, and even though I was a young/mid teen (I’m an adult now) I didn’t like the video. It had little evidence in it, but I didn’t have the verbal skills to express why I didn’t like the video.

I became more skeptical, went through the evidence and concluded the internet mistreated a victim of SA. I listened to her music, which was released the same year. In fact, while I rarely listen to her music nowadays, it’s pretty decent. Unfortunately, the internet didn’t beat to my drum, but its own.

The fans rejoiced…

They continued to slander the victim to the point where she had to leave the internet. Mind you, the reason why this victim is doubted is because she didn’t react in the way a ‘perfect victim’ would. I suppose I should explain a ‘perfect victim’ is.

The ideal victim:

There are five criteria that make up the ‘ideal victim’ in psychology. The victim must be weak or in a position of complete powerlessness. If the victim had any slither of control over the situation, then they ‘weren’t doing enough to get out of it.’ The victim must be an upstanding citizen, someone respectable. The victim is somewhere that they can’t be blamed for being. The offender is big and bad; what you’d expect an offender to be like. The offender was unknown and had no personal relationship to her.

When people violate these sacred rules, they are considered fake victims. Liars, cheats, fakes. It doesn’t matter if it’s true, what matters is that you are perfect. Did you report it to the police, even though 2.2% of cases end in charges? Did you report it to the police, even if less than 5% of assault cases are reported and those that do aren’t taken seriously? Did you report it to the police, even if you are freshly traumatised?

Did you say no to the act? Did you say no once or twice? Did you say no enough? Did you say it too lowly, did you forget to say it? Were you quiet, were you frozen?

Were you actually there, even though the accused admitted you were?

Is the perpetrator someone we’d expect? A man?

Is the perpetrator a stranger?

Did you get dates mixed up, even though trauma does that?

Did you contradict yourself even once? Even once on accident?

Did you remain friends with the perpetrator because you didn’t realise what had happened to you yet, did you?

We put so many unrealistic expectations on victims, and it’s insane how people blindly watched a 2 hour hit piece and accepted it. I am so glad that all these years later, one YouTuber had the guts to actually call this person out on their shit, Brad Taste In Music.

Oh, and it’s pretty obvious who Leilani Ortinez is by now. Let’s face it, people only defend her because she’s famous, and because they want to enjoy her music guilt free, if they even have guilt. Which judging from the very kind attitude that her fans have, I’m assuming is true. You know, how the harassed the victim off the internet?

Oh, by the way. The victim never said they lied. That’s misinformation that The Crow AND their fans proceeded to spread.

Anyway, much like the post I made about Scott Cawthon, I have no interest in debating this topic with angry, resentful 13 year old girls who haven’t developed critical thinking yet. Then again, a lot of adults haven’t either. Nothing has been proven. It’s very rare to be able to ‘prove’ these situations either way.

I might go through the 2 hour video myself and debunk the debunking, but frankly, from what I remember and have seen… it’s disgusting.

Note: Post is getting some notes recently, here’s part 2: https://www.tumblr.com/lemonthepotato/735806499392258048/debunking-the-crows-amazing-defence-video-how-i

[livvyofthelake]

now that we’ve been sitting on it for four months i need to rank the tortured poets department for real… it means nothing to rank an album two days after it comes out like that’s pointless fr let’s take this seriously

guilty as sin. this is an insane song. unfortunately i read a book the week this album came out and this song is permanently attached to that book in a small part but as we all know i did my absolute best to remain chill neutral and only weird about tsc at the time of this album drop so it all balanced out in the end and none of the songs are particularly associated with anything cringe. except two. but not this one i only brought up the book because it’s a little bit associated. you understand. the song is a slay of epic proportions on its own of course. i’ve mentally made this one about so many fictional guys it’s crazy… we have fun huh

my boy only breaks his favorite toys. this one was my instant favorite she’s not going anywhereeeee

but daddy i love him. some people don’t understand it but i do… i love her…

the alchemy. honestly? who are we to fight the alchemy…. literally!!!!

the albatross. sort of like who’s afraid of little old me if it was a song i liked more!

so high school. what more is there to say than truth dare spin bottles you know how to ball i know aristotle brand new full throttle touch me while your bros play grand theft auto it’s true swear scouts honor you knew what you wanted and boy you got her brand new full throttle you already know babe…

florida. cunty! florence + the machine!

the black dog. aforementioned two songs. well we knew this would be one. like we knew that the whole time. what could i possibly have done to save this one… genuinely what could i possibly have done. we saved the album in time i know but i mean. we all knew this track was a goner. nothing to be done. it’s a great song though like genuinely let’s be honest… one out of 31 is a great ratio. april 18th me was expecting a much worse percentage tbh

down bad. i just like it :)

who’s afraid of little old me. mildly over saturated. but kinda deserved the hype she slays

fresh out the slammer. one of aforementioned two songs that kinda got ruined. this song is about cbs drama fire country forever there’s nothing to be done. it’s not a huge loss this song is a little mid if i’m being honest. i think it’s too short i don’t fuck with it heavily

fortnight. my husband is cheating!! i wanna kill him!!!!

the prophecy. song that makes you cry…

the smallest man who ever lived. crazy ass bridge. rest of the song. well.

i can fix him (no really i can). i like that this song title is formatted like a fanfiction title that’s a lyric to a taylor swift song…

imgonnagetyouback. like. cute fun song sure yes. cannot get it out of my head that me personally if i had asked for writing credits from olivia rodrigo on a song that sounded nothing like my song, i personally would not have released this. me personally…

how did it end. crazy song that makes you go damn her life suckssss for real… yikes!

i can do it with a broken heart. not even a bad song it’s just the popular one with swifties and i hear it all the time without my consent.

the tortured poets department. can i be honest. sometimes taylor swift writes songs that would be awesome if not for one utterly batshit ridiculous lyric that embarrasses me so bad i can’t even fuck with the song. this has happened many times she’s an embarrassing celebrity to like everyone knows this. it’s not even the “you smoked then ate seven bars of chocolate we declared charlie puth should be a bigger artist” that’s actually fine. it’s what comes directly after that. “i scratch your head you fall asleep like a tattooed golden retriever” taylor. 😐 i can’t. i can’t even talk about this actually. also i can’t stand the lucy dacus and jack antonoff name drop lyrics at all like taylor please stop embarrassing me….

i do not actively listen to any of the other ones anymore so i just didn’t include them because why would i rank songs i don’t even listen to let’s take this seriously… they’re fine. the only one i might describe as a song i actively dislike is chloe or sam or sophia or marcus. like i do not care for that one at all

[cosmicalily]

nayeon - 'na' mini album review + ranking

'something' - when i heard the audio teaser for this, i was immediately SO excited. then when i heard the start of this song, i was even more excited. 'SAY MY NAME' who?? that guitar SCREAMS iconic y2k track. i love this genre for twice (see basics & rush) and i feel like the way this track was produced works SO well for the overall vibe of the album. liquid drum and bass (at least the very simple, dreamy style of it) has become almost a bit overdone in my opinion due to the newjeansification of kpop (not dealing with that here) but the use of the guitar in the background gives it that iconic y2k feeling similar to destiny's child and tlc. i think overall this is a really easy to listen to track, however i definitely did expect a little more from it after listening to the audio snippet. would've loved more of the nayeon rap because that's what i was most excited for!

'count it' - this is so dreamy, it reminds me a bit of 'wishing on you' from jihyo's solo album, which is one of my favs. i love a slow nayeon song that solely focuses on her super sweet, smooth vocals and i feel like it's nice to hear her lower voice for a change too, especially bc jyp absolutely makes her (and jihyo) work overtime with those high ass adlibs in their group songs. this was honestly everything i wanted from this song; slow, an easy listen, beautiful, minimal production that still doesn't feel boring or repetitive, and that ending was honestly my fave thing EVER! could listen to it on repeat, and most definitely will. it felt like the perfect outro song for this album too.

'magic' - that prechorus is SO delicious oh my god! nayeon and julie is literally giving the kpop version of every iconic collab in the 2010s between an insane vocalist and badass rapper (i'm thinking nikki minaj, ariana grande, iggy azalea before she got cancelled lol) however, i actually don't love the chorus as much as i was hoping! it definitely fits the vibe of the song but i feel like it didn't entirely live up to my expectations for it. of course, julie's vocals are absolutely insane, i'll never not go on about them, and nayeon absolutely ate! i feel like this track again matches the late 2000s vibes i'm getting from the album, with a little more this would have 110% been my favourite song.

'abcd' - NAYONCE WHO??? i'm actually not joking at all, this was absolutely what the kpop industry needed. that very typical young, teenager-y y2k concept has honestly been entirely overdone (yk what i'm talking about, every girl group and their mother's been a victim of it welp) so i'm SO GLAD that icons like kiss of life and now nayeon have decided to bring back mature y2k! we need trashy! we need camp! we need intense instrumentals and sassy raps and lyrics! pop was so cute and i adore it for her, but i love seeing the more adult concept for nayeon too, esp bc she's almost 30 now and i feel like she needed something a little more. this feels very very very much like crazy in love by beyonce, which kind of does unsettle me a little, it's not a bad thing but that song is VERY iconic so it feels like a very tricky song to try and replicate even when its done a bit differently, because there's always gonna be comparisons regardless and a song like that just cannot be outdone, no matter how iconic nayeon is. however, it's different to all the recent releases we've had in kpop so imma let it slide. also, i was VERY disappointed by the fact that this track, the TITLE TRACK, was less than three minutes. why tf are ALL of the bsides longer?? the math is not mathing. i was really hoping short song syndrome wouldn't hit 3rd gen kpop but apparently it has, which is actually so sucky. also i highkey hate jyp's promotion methods bc y'all did NOT need to spoil the entire chorus?? like i would've enjoyed this so much more if it was a suprise yk. that felt like a really dumb move especially when there wasn't even a super different crazy end chorus so that felt like a bad decision but oh well. solid title track, 9/10 (-2 for the shortness of the song and promotions). and final thoughts, i feel like jihyo also would've eaten this concept up. after seeing namoji perform 10 minutes, i've been needing them to do a song as a subunit and i feel like this would've fitted them as a trio SO well.

'halligalli' - she's cute, she's bubbly, but not too childish either. she JUST fits into this album's concept in my opinion, and it feels like the classic twice bside recipe (this isn't a bad thing, but it does sound like something i've heard before from twice and it fits into their discography well). however, sticking to the classics isn't a bad thing at all, often if you have all new genres an album can feel daunting and too diverted from the identity you felt the artist was originally showing. so i think this is a very safe but cute track. it'll go on my playlist, but i feel like she's a tiny bit forgettable.

'butterflies' - can someone explain to me why this wasn't on the 'im nayeon' album? because this SCREAMS that concept. it's super cute and very nayeon-esque, but i feel like it takes away from the more mature concept this album was leaning towards? it feels very teenage y2k lovesong, which is super cute, but this album was gearing more towards iconic y2k artists in their adult prime so i feel like this doesn't quite resonate with that. i'll definitely listen to it because it's a good track, but probably not in conjunction with the rest of the album since it doesn't fit my mental vibe for it lmao.

'heaven' - out of the two slow tracks, 'count it' was honestly my favourite. i think its also because this song was fully english and it felt like an overload of entirely english songs in this album, which is lowkey weird for me to say as an international fan, but it feels like twice is trying too hard to globalise its audience and is forgetting about their initial fanbase. like twice has been doing one english track in their albums for a bit now, but even the title track for this album was very english heavy and so were most of the bsides. three out of six bsides were english, and the others still have a lot of english lyrics. anyways, it just didn't stick out to me as much as the other songs, still very sweet and nice to listen to but not particularly outstanding in my eyes. it'll definitely end up on my playlist though!

let me know your opinions on this comeback. i personally adore this image for nayeon and think it was overall a solid album!

[beautifulpersonpeach]

Wow I never thought I'd see an ARMY talk about NCT the way you did. What do you think of the group? You said you like their latest cb, what exceeded your expectation? If you have one who is your bias?

**

Hi Anon,

I usually check out every new release if I've got time to. Checked out Ay Yo and liked it. It's a dope track.

What I said is:

"For the first time in three years I am not completely disappointed. (Too bad SM Entertainment is sort of self-destructing right now.) Ay Yo is giving me everything the boys are capable of. And by 'the boys' I'm referring to Haechan, Mark, and Taeyong - that trio + Ten are the only people I care for (in a very neutral sense), in NCT. Chenle and Jaemin occasionally stand out. But the real star this comeback is the song. 2 Baddies was an atrocity that didn't need to exist, but Ay Yo sits just at the sweet spot between disorienting experimentation and anthem hit. When you see the boys perform it it only gets better... "

NCT is one of the more interesting projects out of SM in (1) its concept - NCT is the musical expression of Seoul, her culture; and (2) its medium of choice: hyper-pop and hip hop. NCT is a group significantly more interesting than SHINee or EXO. In theory, in my opinion. But until now, they really didn't live up to that hype. Again, my opinion.

But when I saw the dance practice for Ay Yo, I had to revisit that thought.

This dance practice video alone justifies the existence of this group. First of all, full kudos to Rie Hata for choreographing such an avant-garde and memorable routine. Next, the guys have to get their full credit. I haven't even bothered watching anything else they've released yet, I'm perfectly content just watching the dance practice over and over. That's how good they are.

My problem with NCT though (and honestly most SM-trained idols) is that, like a Roja parfum, performance quality doesn't last long. I know someone who attended that live performance that had Lucas disruptively dancing to a completely different song mid-performance. Like they saw that, in person. Can you just imagine what that is like? But I won't dwell on that, what I'd rather highlight is how much they've improved. They moved like a single unit from start to finish in Ay Yo. The entire performance is seamless, the attention to detail impressive, and they're all so into it. It's really cool and close to how insanely immersed BTS gets during a performance. This style of dance seems to work them into that almost trancelike state, and it suits them very well.

Haechan ties with Taeyong who ties with Ten who ties with Mark to be my favourites in NCT. I can't really speak to their characters, I don't watch them enough to comment, but I do think from a 'capability' standpoint, those four are in the top 10 male idols ever produced by SM. So, it was very gratifying seeing them improve even more this comeback.

The song is actually good too though, like I said, the bridge is a bit unfortunate. Jaehyun's verse too.

I hate bridges in SM songs. Generally. The bridge in an SM song exists to serve as a mood breaker and palette cleanser for the highlight of the song, which in Ay Yo is from timestamp: 2:57 to 3:35. A bridge should be something that redirects your focus, something that plays with the motif of the whole song, not introduce its own. Anyway, that's mostly my thing. I'm sure many people enjoy the abrupt switch ups mid-song, and sometimes I'm one of those people, but most times I'm not. It's so encouraging for me that Ay Yo is a song good enough even with that.

For the Anon who sent me an ask more tied to the mess happening at SM rather than my views on NCT, I'll get to your ask before long.

[knightofgames]

hey, if its not too much trouble could you tell me about how you make moonbase covers? im really interested in doing that but tbh i have no idea where to even start. thank you!

ironically, i don't actually keep a copy of moonbase alpha on my PC anymore. i just use the program that uses the same exact TTS engine - DECTalk: https://archive.org/details/dectalk_202010

what i do is a mix of this old guide by the OG herself Oasty: https://youtu.be/Vf1-UFGFK7o and a set of my own fucked up set of guess & check parameters. this guide is GREAT at explaining the basics, and you can probably figure out your own method to use just based off of that.

as a bonus, i also released the raw .TXT files for every piece in the work a while back: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1f7uIJ84oVxveOp5-tZbFBPsqKe5ILBcA/view?usp=drive_link so if you just need to see what the vocals look like before being rendered & processed, this can give you a good idea.

but, if your curious about my own insanely specific methods that will probably not work for you, here's that, as a treat:

i could not use the excel spreadsheet. i just couldnt get behind it, and just manually timed my way through every phoneme, recording a usable file every once in a while to check on my results.

when i was actively working on moonbase baby, i had a list of usable phonemes & audacity open on my 2nd monitor, and dectalk & fl studio on my 1st. id use the phonemes list to figure out how to transcribe the words of the song into something parse-able by DECTalk, guess the length of the notes based on the lengths of the prior syllables (or at the start, just purely guessing), and then figure out what note to use from an already-transcribed set of notes to reference (by me, of course).

i'd play it back & use wasapi to record it back into audacity (although i think somebody has made an actually compiled version of dectalk that can export), then import that wav file into FL studio to check the timing & pitch of the file. now, dectalk exports files slightly out-of-tune, so there's also a -15 cents pitch shift on all audio files, as well as a slight bit of auto-tune on the vocals...but now we're just getting into mixing, which is a whole different topic.

here's a fun screencap of the vocal processing on the main layer of VOX in moonbase baby:

at a certain point, you just sort of develop a brainrotted relationship with the numbers at work, and it becomes a whole lot easier to guess what numbers you need to use & how much you should be modifying them to get stuff closer to the timing you want. even so, you're likely to do a decent chunk of manual timing correction in whatever DAW you use. dectalk is REALLY bad at pausing vocals altogether.

[bmpmp3]

So this weekend I'm just gonna go right into it, today we're talking about Toa's Patchwork Staccato (ツギハギスタッカート)!

A decade old classic, such a sweet sounding and uplifting piano-heavy instrumental that almost leans into the sound of a children's song game, a song that aurally really makes me want to play hopscotch outside LOL which contrasts beautifully with the lyrics and subject matter of the complicated and frustrated feelings of a shitty relationship, complete with ghosting and all!

I adore the instrumental work with all my heart, I'm a sucker for piano-led tunes so this is to be expect - but the vocals in the original are nothing to sneeze at either! VocaDB lists the vocals as Miku V2 Soft although I'm unsure if that's accurate, she sounds almost V3 Soft or Sweet to me, but there's hints of the V2 transition noise so I really couldn't tell either way. For a long time I didn't think much of the tuning, but looking at it closer now, 1) similar to sound design, unnoticed tuning is usually a mark of great tuning LOL but also 2) those throat clearing noises are unreal. How did Toa do that. How did they do that.

First cover I want to point out is a big one that doesn't need my help promoting it LOL the Project Sekai cover:

I've mentioned this before but I don't play the game because I'm bad with gacha games and it doesn't run on my phone, but I still follow the music despite not knowing the plot or characters because Fururin and Tomoriru voice characters in it LOL Love Live fans are insane like this, if you voice a character in that franchise there's a good chance I've ended up as a dedicated fan for life without either of us realizing it. You KNOW when they release a solo ver. album with the pink hair girl's versions I'll be all over that shit SHKFJKFSD

Anyway, I like this cover because the Fururin solos are fantastic (she's doing a character voice obvs but I'm a fan of both her natural voice and her skill at singing with character voices, she's very talented!) and the other singer is nice too, and despite the jank of the early Miku NT voice, I think it actually works really well in a song like this. Her weak and sort of wobbly tone helps for a song that keeps itself quiet and gentle, I think. Fun cover! Some of the instrumentation changes sound a little odd to me, maybe it's the mixing too, but overall I like it!

Another extremely popular cover that doesn't really need my introduction if the 2 million view count is any indication, but here is ePiaeon's version with all of Hatsune Miku's voicebanks!!

Iconic, it's just a really fun, well tuned piece that also serves as a great timeline and comparison between the sheer amount of voicebanks this blue anime girl has gotten over the past 15 years. This cover is from 2020, so Miku NT was still in beta and I don't think her appends (soft and whisper I think?) were out yet, but still thing it works great comparison-wise since Miku NT has been a bit MIA in the past three years anyway. When will NT return from the war... ANYWAY I love this thing, it made me really appreciate the V3 banks again especially, I love the tone of V3 Vivid!

This cover was so popular it started a very small trend of other's doing a similar bit with other vocal synths with multiple releases to this song, here's a few interesting ones:

Namine Ritsu version by rubeeish

Kasane Teto version by Teto Kasane-Chan

a Gekiyaku version by Akiroo

These UTAU ones can be so fun because there are a lot of UTAUloids who just have an absurd amount of voicebanks LOL probably because it's free and conducive to passion projects! Of course, Ritsu, Teto, and Gekiyaku all now either have or are getting commercial voicebanks in other software as well, but its wild how even just within one software we can have so many already, plus the sheer variety of them all! Gekiyaku's whisper bank is a standout to me, she genuinely sounds like she's whispering!! It's wild what UTAU can do.

There's plenty more out there, search up "all voicebanks patchwork staccato" on YT sometime and have some fun! And of course people do the same bit with different songs as well, ePiaeon also did a Melancholic cover with all the Len and Rin banks which is very fun:

I'm a sucker for a good product timeline what can I say!!!!!!!!! Maybe someday I should make an "all voicebanks" style cover of a certain favourite vocal synth character of mine too, a certain guy who's name rhymes with benbu... hmm...

Anyway, '"all voicebanks" cover tangent finished, back to the topic at hand - but this leads well into a cover I really enjoy: Omotelie's Genbu cover!

Just a really lovely and soft cover - one thing I've been really enjoying about Genbu specifically (although it's also audible in other standard-style SV banks too) is how when you turn up his breathiness and/or use his softer octaves/phoneme groups is how the program almost seems to like, double his voice in his aspirations, if that makes sense? It's more noticeable in his Lite and you can hear it clearest in his "ka" sounds and such, but it gives his voice this husky and sort of moody dimension I really enjoy. You know, I would love a full Genbu AI singing bank someday (we're getting close with Voicevox Humming!) but if that ever happens my pipedream would be them finding a way to mimic the raspy tone from his standard in like a vocal mode or an emotion style LOL

That's the funny thing about vocal synths, sometimes the so-bemoaned engine noise (and by engine noise I mostly mean audio artefacting and distortion as a result of the software's methods of resampling or reconstructing the voice) is a feature not a bug <3 Flower is a notable example, I quite like the 2.0 version of Ci Flower, but I do get why people prefer vFlower over her: she's still husky and a bit androgenous sounding in Cevio, but that extra husky-growly tone, flatter tone in the concatenative process of VOCALOID4 is just really unique and fun LOL sometimes engine noise is the noise you want, I guess!!

Anyway, engine noise sidetrack over, back to the very nice Genbu cover, I also wanted to mention that that I love the adlibbed harmonizing bits a lot, really fun and pleasant to listen to!

ANOTHER COVER I want to point out is this cover by the voice actor, singer, and I believe vtuber, Hazuki Saki (葉月さき)!

I knew them from her utaite days as Hazuki Yuu, if I remeber correctly her brother is the utaite Touyu? Lot of talent in these siblings LOL but I love her singing here, her voice is high but you can also hear this sort of deep nasal tone especially in the first verse and the chorus, it's like fuzzy and nasal but I wouldn't call it a full head voice nor a chest voice (<- not a musician, I am talking fully out my ass LOL) it's like... sound that feels near the sinuses and back of the teeth. This is a compliment. Am I making sense. I love voices and sounds. Anyway, very nice cover!

AND one last cover, I tend to keep the covers I listen to the most often for last and here's another one: 96Neko's (96猫) cover!

96Neko is a very popular utaite known for her sort of androgynous voice that, at the time when she started, often got slotted into a sort of "Len" type voice. We used to do that, describe utaite by what Cryptonloid they sound like HDGSKJHJDS Anyway, I really love her take on this song 'cause she uses both her higher range and her normal deeper ranger while also cramming so much emotion into these softer parts here and there... the way she says "mou iya da na" is wonderful, she uses bits of vocal fry here and there to make a real "singing" style sung performance... I am aware I am getting more incomprehensible by the second. To be honest I was holding back in the first few cover-remix weekends but I am going to talk about voices how I think about them now so watch out. I am going to get weirder. I prommy <3 Anyway, what I'm saying is, listen to this cover now!!!!!!! It's very lovely :)

That's all for tonight, partially because these were the main ones I wanted to talk about but also partially because I just discovered Tumblr has a 10 video per post limit. Future posts may be multiparters, watch out LOL anyway, thank u and goodnight! (you break up with me by phone and i die on impact)