#its absolutely crazy to reflect back on high school

[saph-writes]

Old Memories Fade Away into Irrelevancy (Or does it?)

ao3 link:

Summary: Noel Noa learns about this new project Japan is creating, and the man crazy enough to be behind the whole thing.

Words: 1146

Noa barely recognized him at first, when he heard about a new project Japan was going to be creating.

Blue Lock it was called, and upon hearing about what it entailed, the word crazy popped into his mind. The entire idea was ludicrous, mad, absolutely insane. 300 high school players, all locked in a facility? Just how much did that loss in the World Cup devastate Japan?

He barely kept up with Japanese football anymore. It’s already been 10 years, and yet nothing has changed. Mediocrity, that is what he would describe its team. Any glimmer of potential that had been present a decade ago had faded away completely and laid stagnant, bare and dull.

Japan was a weak country in terms of football; that stayed an unquestionable fact.

So Noa saw the Blue Lock press conferences, upon request by those who recommended it to him, and saw no interest. Just another flop in the football world. He only stuck around to see the fanatic that would actually propose this crazy idea.

But the more he listened (his Japanese isn’t the best, but he can understand most of it), the more familiar the ideas proposed sounded, and suspicion began to crawl up the back of his neck. Familiar and nostalgic even, like words coming from an old friend. Surprisingly enough, he could recognize some of the ideas, word for word. He’s heard most of this before.

But the idea went as soon as it came. As much as it felt like a token of the past, he hasn’t heard those words in years. It has disappeared with time and hasn’t appeared since. Faded away into irrelevancy, gone with the wind.

However, the thought still didn’t leave his mind, and it was like he was right back where he was such a long time ago, unable to get that face or name out of his head.

The press conference was coming to an end, and Noa was beginning to think he wouldn’t find out who was running this project. Not that it mattered, since he still had acquired no interest in this “Blue Lock” experiment. It was nearly time for training anyways, and he didn’t like to be anything less than punctual for meetings. Maybe he should stop finding himself wasting time on these unnecessary presses.

Just as Noa was beginning to close out of the window, a face appeared on the screen. They were showing an image of a man and talking over it, where he was only able to decipher that this is the one behind the whole experiment. The image was then taken off, but it stayed casted behind the woman who was still speaking.

The man’s eyes were obscured by the reflection of his square glasses, and a bowl-cut covered up his forehead and rested above his hidden eyes. His neck was long and lanky and while the picture cut off at his shoulders, he could guess that the rest of his body was the same. Behind the disinterested look, Noa could see where obsession has worn away the edges.

There was no doubt about it. He had a different look but that was him. A name Noa hasn’t heard in years.

The man running the project was none other than Ego Jinpachi.

~

A few months passed after that. Noa hadn’t given Blue Lock more than a single thought. In fact, it seemed that Noa had completely forgotten the project completely, or had dispelled it from his mind entirely. It wasn’t important, and its idiotic to have unimportant thoughts when training or playing.

Sometime later though, someone had sent him a football clip to watch. He was tempted to put it off, but figured it was better to go ahead and see it now that he had the time, especially when time is so scarce nowadays.  It was a clip sent in in by one of the players in Bastard München’s U-20 division, which is why he was even considering it at all. Attached was an article as well.

He sat down and clicked on the video. Immediately, he could recognize the foreign letters and tell that this was a Japanese football match. On the field, there were the white and red colors of Japan’s U-20 uniforms, but alongside them there were other colors of a different team, unknown players in vivid blue uniforms.

Two players stood out, which seems to be what the clip is focusing on. One from the U-20 team and the other in one of the bright blue uniforms. The two were in a one-on-one  and amidst their quick, nearly untraceable movements, the ball was somewhere tossed between them.  

Noa had seen the U-20 team play but this was nearly unrecognizable from their former play-styles. If it weren’t for their uniforms, he probably wouldn’t even guessed that these were the same people who played in the world cup to represent Japan. Outside the two players going head-to-head, they were moving quickly around them, jumping around with a kind of new energy. The difference was like night and day.

Somewhere in the tussle for the ball, it got thrown high up in the air. The ball soared above the players on the field until eventually landing on a single, colored blue, player, who launched it straight into the net. With that, the crowd exploded, and the video came to an end.

Intrigued, Noa clicked the article. It was all in Japanese, which he really should’ve expected. Instead of hopelessly trying to read it with his subpar Japanese, he opted to just use Google translate instead.

The headline read clear and simple. “Blue Lock Revolutionizes Japanese Football.”

As his eyes went through the poorly-translated words of the article, decade-old memories flashed through his mind, appearing so vividly and clearly in his thoughts. Words and plays of another time now sat in his lap, appeared in the headliner on his laptop screen, and presented itself in the image of high-school age players jumping and celebrating on top of each other. And a name that he thought he’d never hear again.

Ego Jinpachi

A name that he once tied to a teammate, someone who matched him in plays, who played right alongside him while fighting for his own spotlight, who made himself present with every way, eventually etching himself as Noa’s first rival, and someone who disappeared off the face of the earth while Noa achieved world-wide success.

Such a name came into existence once again, now lying in the shadows, in the depths of his crazed obsession.

Noa reread the article headline and watched the clip again. Blue Lock. A project that made itself known to the world with just a single match, and shown Japan a new way of football. All lead by a single man with a crazy dream.

A ghost of a smile appeared on his lips.

You fanatic.

[adulting-sucks]

How can a 41 yr old not comprehend the fact that the people who you are around with as in friends and dating and hang out with and is everything. Its like high school cliques. People of like minds and view always hang out together otherwise why are you hanging out and are together.

I knoenthere are so many fans out there that like myself that can't support or be a fan of someone who supports racism anti semitism and homophobia or being fat phobic.

He did Red Sea Diving Resort i hope he got a angry call or text from the director and producers and the writer of the book for now supporting and being with antisemitic people. He shitted on them and Jews. I'm happy for Jenny that she got away from him.

If it was PR move so netflix will give him the Gene Kelly project in exchange for free warrior nun pr -it was the worst move of his career. Some one on a blog said the Mario cart video was to humiliate her or looked it- is his version of crying for help or maybe he's an asshole and were finally seeing him for who he is.

If he actual is dating her and choosing to hang out with her friends too and not having extra ppl there cause he can't stand to be alone with her its just sad to see he lied about caring about so many diffrent things

.. (nothing about age idc about that once you're 18 it doesn't matter legally. Dicaprio has had an age thing for forever and that's the difference he doesn't date someone whose views are disgusting and hateful)

I wonder how Scott feels about her, given homopbobia she and her friends have shown.

Agree. We are absolutely reflections of who we spend our time with. My close friends are very like minded to my same values and thoughts. I will cut people off, no hesitation who bring turmoil to that part of my world.

Don’t get me wrong, I get along with my coworkers because it makes my work life easier, but outside of work, it’s a non issue because I don’t allow them into that area.

PR probably works so much differently than we even know, but you are absolutely correct in saying this has been the worst move of his career. I don’t buy into this being real. I’ve flipped and flopped, but seeing the pap walk and WDW in action along with the absolute forced and manufactured feel of the IG stories cemented me in this is not real.

He’s always been private and protective of the ones he cares about. That’s what is so different about this. It is being forced out in overkill because there’s no need to address every single issue we’ve discussed with pictures.

That being said, it in no way excuses what’s happened now. Do I think he woke up and just said fuck this, I no longer care about racism, antisemitism, body shaming because look at this pussy!? No. I don’t. But by continuing this charade and allowing his team to double down instead of addressing any of this is a massive mistake. As I’ve said, this has become the ultimate fuck you to those of us who still attempted to see the good in him. We’ve been told we don’t fucking matter and what he’s fought against was purely for his own agenda.

He is losing massive amounts of his fan base, and at first I’m sure no one batted an eye. We’re crazy, remember? But look what went along with that. He is consistently called out on all posts and comments. He may not read every single one, but he still has to have some idea of what’s being said. I cannot imagine anyone would be okay with being perceived the way he is right now without it affecting him somehow.

So here we are: he’s now set to do two Comic-con appearances, trying to attach his image back to that of Steve Rogers, and not the person he is currently. Now he has to try and win back some of his fans. Who knows, Seb managed to bounce back from Ale, but he also has worked tirelessly to show his fans he’s not what they thought he was. I don’t know if Evans will do that. I hope so.

We know how his mother feels. Scott has barely interacted with them at all, he unfollowed Justin early on and never really commented on her shit before she ran away. But to see this distance, this schism in the relationship between him and his family, that’s the saddest part to me. I would love to believe he would never be with someone as vile as she is, and that he would never subject his family to that. And to an extent, we’ve seen that. They’re always isolated in pictures and videos. We don’t see her in any family photos and that’s pretty telling also.

As far as him humiliating her? I have not one ounce of anything for her. If he is humiliating her, I couldn’t care less. I may sound like a giant bitch for this, but she lied about a traumatic event to garner attention. I actually at one point did feel some sympathy for her, seeing how her family and friends exploited her in her career. But she pulled that fake kidnapping story, and any ounce of good will or sympathy I had was gone.

That was beyond reprehensible. Beyond disgusting. Add that in to what we see now and know, she deserves every bit of karma and bad energy she gets. She is a master manipulator, she has used every trick to stay relevant and manipulate her fans and this fandom, and she deserves to receive whatever karmic payback she’s got coming.

[crowning-art]

TGCF SPOILERS (Book 3)

---‐----------------------

Without further ado, thoughts on chapters 153-157!!!

Sjjsjdjdjf, the three tumors give me the same vibes as those super popular, but very problematic cliques you see in schools, lol

Speaking of three tumors I STILL MISS SHI WUDU JEISJDJDJDJ Every day I live in a fantasy that someone, somehow, magically got the powers to resurrect him and he's alive in a dungeon somewhere (gotta make it a little realistic, yknow? *she says in utter denial*)

SHUT UP! THIS LINE SENT SHIVERS DOWN MY SPINE OH MY GOD

“Very well! You said I couldn’t reach that high. Then, might I ask you: had the prominence of the Palace of Jing Wen at its peak ever reached even the knees of my Palace of Ling Wen??”

So hopefully, I'm remembering things right about events in Xuli: pei ming was a general there, his people wanted him to rebel and become king, he refused, Ling wen was from the same place who sold shoes and tricked a man into killing himself (brocade story), also wrote multiple beautiful lit pieces and thus ascended. I don't think we've been told yet how Xuli truly fell, but I'll do a refresh read tomm just in case!

Also the Jing Wen and Ling Wen story was just sooo utterly fascinating to me, because it centers around a person whose insecurities acc had a much greater repercussion than he realized. See, had he not made her ascend, she wouldn't have played such a major role in hurting so many people after her ascension (refer to brocade robe incident) and all of this was done for what? To satisfy his inferiority complex. It's kinda crazy to see how everything plays out in the long run, yknow?

WAIT WHAT????? I did not see this coming dudhjdjxkdk THIS DUDE WAS A STONE STATUE TALKING???

However, the one who was questioning Xie Lian wasn’t actually a “man”, but an extremely coarsely-made stone statue of a man, its body bare but wrapped with cloth; somehow bizarre and at the same time silly.

Stop I was laughing at the chaotic-ness of this whole scene lmaooo, especially this part

It’s alright if you won’t chop yours off, I’ll chop off his!”

He was referring to Pei Ming. Pei Ming was dumbfounded.

“WHAT THE FUCK?!”

Also

YO THE ABSOLUTE IMAGERY HERE OH MY GOD IM SCREAMING ITS SO BEAUTIFUL T-T

The bloody rain that had enveloped the sky had transformed into a fluttering shower of flower petals!

There was no need to even guess who had come. Xie Lian curled his fingers and clenched his hand, clutching that flower petal as the name blurted from his lips.

“San Lang!”

Blossoms fell like dripping blood; blood danced like petals in the wind. That face was as spirited and handsome as the first time they met, his eye bright and alive. He languidly sheathed that long and slender silver scimitar back into its scabbard, and spoke with a deep voice.

“Your Highness, I’ve come back.”

The next time I face the most minor of inconvenience such as phone battery low or smt, I'm using this line by pei ming lmaoo

“Where there is abnormality, there is evil; everyone be careful.”

Ok I HAVE A NEW THEORY (or acc it's me reiterating EXACTLY what I said last time lmao)

So if you look back at one of the chapters at the end of book 1, specifically the part when Goushi is discussing a dream with Xie Lian, he talks about being dragged down from ascension, the crown prince wearing only white clothes, and a kingdom falling into ruin....SOunD fAmIliAR???

The contents of the mural in this divine temple were completely different from the previous one.

They started studying it from the highest level, the top of the painting. A white-clad young man sat poised upon a jaded futon, his brows quietly handsome. It was that Crown Prince of Wuyong. His eyes were tightly shut, and judging from his posture, he seemed to be in deep reflective meditation. However, it wasn’t tranquil.

Like, HES EVEN MEDITATING THE WAY XIE LIAN DID WHEN HE WAS TRYING TO USE A STATUE TO HOLD THE XIANLE PALACE UP AND there's more, but the whole scene just SCREAMS parallels to Xianle (I also scream the same thing lmao) LIKE HOW ELSE CAN THIS BE EXPLAINED??? SOMEONE RELIVED THE WHOLE THING BEFORE?? UNLESS IT'S JUN WU??? GOD, I CAN'T LET JUN WU GO THIS DUDE IS INVOLVED IN SMT, BUT I DONT KNOW WHAT

Hua Cheng is 100 percent aware he is in a book, and that book is a ROMANCE book, while everyone else is out there living out the horror genre in every way conceivable lmaoooo

Even though it wasn’t the right time, Xie Lian still felt his heart skip a beat in spite of himself.

“Are you tired holding this up? How about I hold the umbrella for you…”

The others were fleeing and dodging, running madly; seeing how the two were having a good time, they couldn’t stand it, and couldn’t help but call out.

“Hey! Isn’t that unfair?!”

“Hua Chengzhu, may I ask if you have any spare umbrellas??

NO I ACC FORGOT YIN YU EXISTED AND PANICKED WHEN THE EARTH MASTER SHOVEL SHOWED UP CUZ I WAS LIKE WIND MASTER MY BELOVED??? ARE YOU OK??????

Aaaaaand the roasting session continues! On today's menu: roasted Yin Yu!!

Even if one was to stare at his face for two hours, after a good night’s sleep, his appearance would be completely forgotten the next day, so no doubt this was a molded fake face?

“…”

However, a moment later, that black-clad youth said, “I’m sorry, Your Highness, but, I…I really do look like this.”

Yikes cuz imagine being called plain faced and forgettable in front of your colleagues :/

HOW DO U EXPLAIN THAT U GAVE YOUR DEAREST A CURSED ROBE THAT WOULD MAKE THEM KILL THEMSELVES THO??

He’d always felt there was a misunderstanding between you in regards to the Brocade Immortal affair and wanted to hear your side of the story, so he could explain it to others. Yet, there was never any sign of you, nor any communication.”

Ok but low key that's kinda precious, like Qi Ying gaves me major dog vibes, constantly trying to return to owner kinda thing, yknow?

Loved loved loved how casual everyone was about this

“Everyone, a question. Have we dug into a mass grave?”

Pei Ming also pulled out a femur, sighing.

“Probably. Look at the structure of this bone. It must’ve belonged to an exquisitely beautiful woman with long, slender legs. To have her bones buried here, what a real shame.”

“Very unfortunate indeed,” Hua Cheng said. “The legs are long, that’s for sure, but that’s the bone of a man.

ALSO AAHHHHH BUT I LITERALLY STOPPED AT THE PART WHERE EVERYONE DISAPPEARS IN THE CAVE AND IM LIKE NOOO WAIT WHATS HAPPENING SJDJJDJFJF

“No,” Hua Cheng said. “But it’s precisely because there’s nothing that it’s worrisome.”

BRO IF HUA CHENG IS WORRIED, I THINK THERE IS A CAUSE FOR CONCERN HERE

[kaibutsushidousha]

Class 77, Class 78 and DRV3 characters in BNHAverse and i want to see their intertractions with BNHA characters

This is an ask I got and was working on a few months ago, but I had to stop due to bigger priorities and now I lost momentum so hard that I can't see myself ever finishing it. But this still took too much effort to discard, so I'm deciding I'll release this incomplete version.

If you have any specific character you want me to do this for, I'm attaching this "danganronpa quirks au" tag to the thing, so any one-character ask will be put in the tag with the post that started it. Sorry, but I guess full-cast asks are a bit too much to ask from me now.

I'll pass on their interactions with canon BnHA characters because I don't care a lot about the individual students of class A in general. I will go over their quirks tho, because powers in the BnHA universe are defined by a character's name puns, and that's a fun and unique format to work with here. Due to the vaguely genetic nature of quirks, I'll generally follow the principle that the family name defines what the power is, and the given name defines its specifics.

Makoto Naegi - Nature Hero, Green Thumb - Quirk: Sapling

Naegi means sapling, so he can generate plant saplings. Makoto means truth (see the canon Makoto Tsukauchi with a lie-detecting quirk) so the sapling he creates can grow at the same true speed that the plant grows in nature. It's a really useless quirk for a Hero, reflecting how Naegi is the guy who got into the special school by chance and doesn't really have the skills to belong there.

Sayaka Maizono - Idol Hero, Danser Flower - Quirk: Dancer

The mai in Maizono means dance so she can have a buff-type quirk that gets its power boosts from rhythmic movement. Ideally, she could use a knife or katana to go with it, but if Ninja Hero Edgeshot doesn't carry a sword around from branding, I think heroes aren't allowed to carry these dangerous weapons unless they're part of their quirk (Hawks) or their quirks are useless without it (Snipe).

That one present in DR2 writes Sayaka with the kanji for the danser flower, which is what inspired her hero name here.

Leon Kuwata - Musician Hero, Punk Rock - Quirk: Pitch

Kuwata is named after star baseball player Kuwata Masumi and star musician Kuwata Keisuke, the first thing I decided was that his quirk had to be named Pitch since that's both a musical term and a baseball term. The word pitch has a lot of meanings, but it's generally about highness and lowness, so I guess he can control the vertical movement of thrown objects.

Chihiro Fujisaki - Hacker Hero, Master Code - Quirk: Unary System

Fujisaki's quirk would get inherently complicated and esoteric because the fuji part is the Buddhist concept of false duality. Two things that look opposite but from a more absolute point of view are one and the same. But Fujisaki is a programmer, not a monk, and the programming term for duality is "binary", so the fuji is probably better translated as "non-binary" (no, I don't think the coincidence was intentional).

How that translates into a superpower? I don't know, the best idea I have is making touched objects gain opposite traits. Make fire cold, make vehicles static, make dumbbells light. Weirdly conceptual, but since New Order exists, anything goes here, really.

Mondo Oowada - Japan Hero, Crazy Diamond - Quirk: Katana

The oowa in Oowada is the on'yomi reading of Yamato, as in Yamato Takeru's name. His family can't not have a quirk that makes katana out of their arms. Daiya and Mondo are named after the diamond pun, so there can be some extra emphasis on how unshatterable their blades are.

Kiyotaka Ishimaru - Kiyotaka - Quirk: Stone Spikes

Ishimaru is a Shouto-like case of someone too emotionally constipated by family drama to come up with a proper hero name. His use of his given name is likewise an attempt to disassociate himself from a famous predecessor's name, but it also doubles as a call back to how Ishimaru's self-introduction involves him discussing appreciation for one's given name.

The Ishimaru name is a Meiji renaming of the Ishiomaru clan (a 14th-century samurai family turned rice merchants after the end of the wars). All versions of the Ishiomaru family crest had caltrops as their symbol, so his quirk should be to spawn and deploy spikes. Stone spikes because the ishi in Ishimaru means stone.

Hifumi Yamada - Otaku Hero, The Alpha And The Omega - Quirk: Automation

Yamada is a name that's already in BnHA. It's Present Mic. So Yamada gets a somehow voiced-related quirk. His Hifumi name means "one two three". So it's a voice quirk that starts a sequence. Spoken commands that continue on themselves. Like ordering your pen to draw the doujin you want while you eat chips and drink coke. (I'm limiting this one to objects because it'd be broken if it worked on people)

Celestia Ludenberg - Fleurdelis Hero, Celestia Ludenberg - Quirk: The Burning of the Versailles Witch

Celes's version of the Yasuhiro name is a real last name, but it's not tied to any known samurai family, so we can only assume it's been a commoner name from its inception. The name kanji means "cheap and widespread". Like its history, it feels designed to spite Celes.

On that note, she should have a fire quirk. The extra layer of irony to her execution aside, fire is the quirk that feels the most like a generic widespread commoner quirk, considering Endeavour managed to gather 30 fire sidekicks completely unrelated to the Todoroki family, and that doesn't even include Deku's father.

Sakura Oogami - Martial Arts Hero, Oomononushi - Quirk: Health

Oogami is as ancient of a Japanese family name as Japanese family names get. Its lineage is detailed in the Kojiki as descended from the god Oomononushi, the benevolent snake god of water/lightning. The clan is tied more specifically to the worship of Oomononushi's bunrei Ohotataneko, the god that wards off epidemics. I say give her the superpower of perfect health so she can train uninterrupted and have her champion status still completely tied to her martial arts talent. Also the extra layer of irony with Ken'ichirou being sick.

Aoi Asahina - Hydration Hero, Flying Fish - Quirk: Hydraulic Power

Asahina is the samurai clan founded by the famed Asahina Yoshihide. She's probably named after him, referencing Yoshihide's classic relationship with onis with Aoi's relationship with "Ogre" Sakura. Ask in a separate post for more details on Asahina's namesake.

I guess she could have a superstrength quirk in reference to how Asahina Yoshihide's mother, Tomoe Gozen, is famed for ripping a man's head off barehanded. It just needs a classic BnHA stupidly specific strength quirk condition. Her first name Aoi means hollyhock, but it's homophonous with the color blue because she's a swimmer, so have it make her stronger the more hydrated she is.

[t4tboblin]

feeling crazy 🤪 thinking about bb pokemon au. here are bob, linda, tina, gene, and louise's teams, in that order. explanations under the cut :) feedback is welcome id love to hear yalls thoughts

Bob in my head, he never really did any battling or anything, pokemon are just sort of a thing that exists around him. so i tried to reflect that with his "team"

camerupt: his "starter"-basically a gift from his dad when he started the restaurant. its absolutely ancient and lives in the restaurant kitchen; it gets up in the morning and plods over to help heat up the grill and lies there all day, then in the evening gets back up and goes to lie in its bed. too old to go upstairs. same vibe as your 10 year old laptop that you only use for one specific thing but by god are you using it. subsists on grease. bob has offered it other food. it jsut likes grease.

vanillish: aka the ice cream maker. linda suggested they get a working pokemon for the restaurant and this was the result. pokemon make bob nervous a little bit but he was like. the dad who says you cant get a pet and then ends up obsessed with the pet. hes an objectmon lover at heart :') he doesnt really consider it "his pokemon" but hes definitely the closest to being its trainer. it sleeps in the walkin and seems to love it, so.

klefki: object mon. symbolizes his love of object mons. i think maybe his keys got haunted one day and he just went. well. this might as well happen. its very chill

applin: the most "pet-like" of any of bob's mons, applin snuck into their produce one day and instantly won bob over. it sits on his shoulder or on the counter while hes working. also come on. he has to have a food mon on his team.

pidove: bob doesnt HAVE a pidove but theres one that always hangs around near the restaurant and he likes looking at em

tandemaus: Tandemaus

Linda she actually started a Pokemon Journey TM as a kid but ended up going home after getting her first badge. she loved the experience though!

emolga: her starter. likes to perch on bobs head. he likes to complain about it. but shes a cuddly sweetheart so its hard NOT to love her

scrafty: one of the mons linda caught on her journey. frequent accomplice when she was hellraising as a child. surprisingly good at keeping the kids out of trouble now

morpeko: she actually got it from trading her shinx back during her journey ("ha! sucker! those things are a dime a dozen") but the shinx was shiny :') but morpeko is a perfect fit for her (gets mad when it doesnt eat vs "mom has to eat every 15 minutes or she turns into a monster"). first of her pokemon that bob managed to win over

oricorio: a gift from her parents when she was in high school, long after shed come home from her journey. shes never changed its form and may or may not know she can even do that

zigzagoon: she doesnt actually have one, but theres a colony in the alley that she loves watching. theres a few galarian zigzagoon in there too, but in my mind The King is hoenian

tandemaus: Tandemaus

Tina by far the trickiest one for me. she doesnt want to be a trainer, but she does think contests are kinda cool

Munna: her first mon. bob and linda got her to help with her night terrors. also helps her remember good dreams so she can write about them in her diary/eff

Mudbray: i think tina starts volunteering at a pokemon daycare and this is one of the eggs that pops up. the trainer lets her keep it, but it has to live at the daycare ("for now!") because a Horse is not fitting in their apartment

Ponyta: tina's dream partner pokemon is a galarian rapidash. as much as i would love to see her dream come true im not convinced it will. however i can say with confidence that she'll have her very own ponyta one day :)

Hitmontop: reference to her capoeira era (rhyme unintended) also i like the idea of tina getting into martial arts in general

ralts: she wanted to catch a Dance-related pokemon to impress jimmy jr buuuuut she couldnt find a kirlia so. ralts. itll evolve someday! and then be really cool! but she kinda likes how awkward it is. its sweet. no shes not projecting. leave her alone

Drifloon: i like the idea of her zombie-fixation carrying over to ghost types. she found drifloon down by the pier and thinks its cute. bob thinks its definitely killed children before. but its very well behaved so the balloon stays

Gene definitely not a trainer either LOL if anything he wants to do pokemon musicals. all his mons are pretty much just performance partners

Loudred: his first mon, gifted to him as a whismur. bob and linda regret it significantly more now that its. not that. basically a standin for his megaphone

(Shiny) Eevee: aka Ken. he finds him walking home from school one day and hides him in his room for... longer than youd expect. by the time bob and linda found out it was way too late to kick ken out. something something trans-coded trainers having eevees

Spoink: also gets brought in off the street; gene just has a way of befriending stray mons. its a great match for his energy

his other three mons (Squawkabilly, Kricketune, and Chatot) he meets when hes older. i imagine grown-up him would have a whole flock of chatot living outside his apartment. linda hates kricketune though

Louise shes gonna be. the very best. like NO ONE ever was. fairy is the perfect type for her-cute, kinda weird, ridiculously strong

Igglybuff: as a wee one she saw wigglytuff and was obsessed and begged and begged her parents for one. she was significantly less impressed when she saw its first form but thats ok, theyre still buddies. and once her DUMB PARENTS will let her battle, shes gonna evolve that sucker into the wigglytuff of her dreams

Mimikyu: not her first pokemon, but definitely her partner. she finds it creeping around the apartment and demands to keep it. come on its cute creepy and powerful, shes eating that up

Ribombee: she gets him "second hand" and sneaks him into school with her. louise likes that hes a weird bug.

Togepi: a gift from her family on her 10th b-day-or at least the egg is. she watches that thing like a hawk and when it hatches she is DELIGHTED ("this must be what childbirth feels like!" "mm. yeah. pretty much the same.")

Morgrem: she catches this sucker in high school and they get into all kinds of mischief

Tinkatink: come on, shes just a little guy. look at her. louise cant just leave her out in the cold. no of course she isnt going to let her hit rocks at people or whack her parents toes. she'll be a perfect saint, honest.

[dirtanddistance]

Squamish50 Reflections

Now that the afterglow of the 50-miler has faded and reality sets back in, I’ve had a moment to reflect on some of the lessons and oddities I encountered during and after the race, and am ready to share them with the internet void (and you, dear reader)!

Appetite woes: A common joke in the running community is the idea of running a lot so you can eat a lot. While I try not to fall into this mindset, I 100% expected to feel pretty famished within 24 hours of finishing a 50 miler. I was surprised to discover that I was wrong, and that it actually took two or three days to really feel hungry again. I panicked during the first day and had to google if this is normal. At least two other people on the internet said it was.

I have no control over the inside of my brain: This is a lesson I should have learned from my 3 prior ultras, which, although they were all 50ks, were all over the spectrum in the mental aspect. I already had experienced that you can do the exact same race twice and have dramatically different experiences despite having trained pretty solidly both times. All of these experiences were conveniently not in my brain when I panicked about 15k into this race and alternated between a steady negotiation with myself about quitting and the song ‘Replay’ by Iyaz on loop in my head.

If you run long enough, your brain will generate thoughts you no longer thought you had access to: see above, having ‘Replay’ stuck in my head for at least 35% of my course time. I had not listened to this song since I was in high school. It does not resemble anything currently on my very carefully curated training playlists. I had meticulously groomed my listening habits during my training runs with an agreeable mixture of Rich Roll podcast episodes and music which I thought would be okay to have stuck in my head during a race. None of this was remotely useful during the actual race. I did not draw on any deep inspiration I may have gleaned from my podcast consumption, and the only thing I accomplished by listening to The 1975 for hours each week was to have a recurring nightmare featuring Matty Healy. Not a singular controversial groovy bop remained in my head to console me as I plodded along. Only Replay by Iyaz, and the specter of giving up and going home.

People will think you’re crazy for not listening to anything during the race: I listened to music, podcasts, or the voices of my friends during literally every training run for this race. I listened to absolutely nothing besides whatever was going on around me during the race. I have never listened to music during a race. My mother thought I was a raving lunatic when I informed her I was not going to listen to anything during the race. Now, was it a good decision to listen to nothing? I think the fact that my brain spontaneously reintroduced me to a total banger of a throwback jam was worth it, but there is always the possibility that I could’ve drowned out the quitter-itis with bops. The fact that I had no bops and still did not quit may deserve a medal of its own, and at minimum gives me a mild air of smugness about my mental game for surviving like it did.

The voice that tells you you’re never doing this again will go away alarmingly fast: I was completely ready to say I was never going to do any race ever again when I crossed the finish line (we can ignore the fact that I was already registered for another race less than two months out from the ultra). I proceeded to register for an 8k in my hometown within the week, and within about two weeks was ready to sign up for at least another 50k in the coming months. I don’t offer much unsolicited advice about ultras, but one thing I do think is really important is to have fun and follow your heart about them. You might have periods where you’re really enthusiastic about running real long, and seasons where there’s just no pull to register for an event. My experience is that listening to that is a really good idea. The drive to get out there again will come back, even if it takes longer than expected, and you’ll have a much better time training when you’re feeling ready to go again than if you are trudging through because you feel like you ‘have to’ do another ultra. The trails will be there waiting when you’re ready, take your time.

Next up: Valley Vertikiller 30k Race Review

[scottspack]

im 6 years post-high school graduation and the steady stream of people who turned out not to be straight has yet to cease!

[let-them-read-fics]

Bite

Pairing: Vamp!Lisa x Human!Fem!Reader

AU: Vampire

Word Count: ~ 5,564

Warnings / Misc. -- Mentions of Blood

Disclaimer: This writing is a work of fiction, and no disrespect is meant for those mentioned herein.

A/N: Hey everyone! I'm alive! School has kept me crazy busy and I've had my hands full with other things as well, but I finished writing this one and I wanted to share with you lovely peeps. To everyone who stopped by to check in, and to those of you who’ve been patiently waiting, thank you endlessly. I love having you as my readers 💜

PS ~ I hope this isn't too bad for my first one shot in forever! Also, happy Lisa era. I’m so proud of our girl!

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

Saturday, October 31st

You look like an idiot. 

The nurse uniform you have on is obnoxiously cliché; short and tattered in various places to really sell the "sexy" aspect of it, little is left to the imagination. Fake blood stains dot the flimsy material in random patterns and mat some strands of the tacky blonde wig atop your head, making you look like something out of a B-movie at best. 

A bonafide, absolute idiot. 

When you express that sentiment to your best friend, she just rolls her eyes and holds out one last costume for you to try on. She had a few lined up in case you didn't like her other options, and clearly that's come in handy; you've already worked through the previous picks, so she crosses her fingers as your eyes skim over this one.

"Humor me, will you?" She asks, hoping that you'll give in and at least check this last one out. 

"Fine, but this is your last chance. It had better be good." You raise a pointed finger at her in warning. 

"I have a good feeling about this one," she says, smiling as you take the bag from her and slip into the dressing room one final time. 

Her phone chimes soon after, and she's quick to retrieve it from her pocket.

Willow: Are you guys almost here?? Jackson's been asking about you.

Your best friend bites her lip at that, nervously nibbling on it as she rereads the message to make sure she didn't imagine the last part. She's liked Jackson since middle school, and he'll be swinging by the party that you've all been invited to; that's one of the main reasons she begged you to come with her tonight. 

Y/BFFs/N: Still getting ready. We'll be there ASAP tho!

Willow: Alright, we'll see you soon. Don't take all night, or else👩🤛

Y/BFFs/N: Yah, cut the violence!

The sound of your best friend's soft giggling fills the air just as you manage to fasten the costume's last zipper and pull its hood over your head.

Surprise etches its way into your features as you do a spin, taking in the sight of yourself through the full length mirror of the dressing room. The outfit's red and black color schemes complement each other beautifully, giving you a powerful and sensual appeal that the other costumes didn't even stand a chance of doing. You look alluring in every sense of the word. 

"Holy shit," your best friend says when you emerge, striking a pose. "You look hot!" She squeals, clapping a few times in quick succession. 

There's no way you think this one looks bad. 

"I think Wanda would be proud," you grin, tilting your head up and wrapping the cape around your neck. 

"One hundred percent," Y/BFFs/N nods adamantly, in total agreement. The Scarlet Witch getup really compliments your features. 

"Now," she starts, changing topics as she looks in the reflection of her phone's dark screen to adjust some of her hair that's gone astray. "Let's pay and then go. Willow's looking for us, and my future man's wondering where I am, too." 

"Hell yeah!" You chuckle, patting her on the back. "I'll help you finally land him so you can stop pining."

You watch as she takes a moment to decide between coming up with a decent rebuttal to defend herself or agreeing with you, and you smile when she goes for the latter. 

"I'd accept nothing less," she says, holding her head high like a princess. "You are my wingwoman, after all." 

"And the best one in town," you add, tugging her towards the register. She reaches into her purse and pulls out the money to pay before politely handing it to the cashier. 

The teenage boy takes it with a small smile, though the action looks a little comical as his upper lip gets caught on the cheap, plastic fangs he's sporting. His knock-off version of Dracula is definitely…. something… and you can tell that his managers forced him to wear it for the holiday. 

"Come back and s-shhee us," he says, handing your change back. Your best friend takes it, failing to contain her laughter at his messy speech. He blushes crimson, likely cursing the plastic teeth for making him look a fool. 

"We surely will," you respond, giving him a comforting smile to keep his embarrassment at bay. He nods gratefully, and you're quickly pulled out of the store by your best friend. 

"Happy Halloween!" You shout over your shoulder, accompanied by the chime of the bell over the door. 

"You too," he calls back, letting out a soft sigh. 

---

20 Minutes Later -- The Party

Upon rounding the front of your car and stepping up onto the sidewalk outside of Willow's house, your attention is immediately caught by the numerous decorations that she put up last week. 

"Huh," you mumble, gazing up at the skeleton that towers above you, standing 12 feet tall. "I think it's safe to say that this is her favorite holiday…" 

"What makes you think that?" Your best friend plays, feigning ignorance as she pops up from behind a life-sized, animatronic Jason Voorhees. 

"I don't know," you tut, admiring Willow's hard work a little longer. "Just a feeling." 

Y/BFFs/N giggles in her unique way, making you smile at the sound as the two of you make your way up the path towards the house. You gaze down at your feet, careful to step on the stones of the walkway and avoid the motion-activated hands that scramble out of the weeds to grab unsuspecting guests. 

Having known Willow your entire childhood, you've grown used to her ways. 

*knock knock*

A strong, iconic synth bassline sounds off from inside, filling the otherwise quiet night around you with its catchy beat as you wait to be let in. Its sound is well known, and you almost instantly recognize it as "Sweet Dreams" by the Eurythmics.

A few seconds later, you hear clambering from inside, followed by concerning groans and shouted apologies. 

Y/BFFs/N arches a skeptical brow at you, perfectly mirroring your thoughts.

Directly after, the door swings open in a flash, and you're nearly tackled by a whizz of curly hair. 

"There you guys are!" Willow shrieks, pulling the two of you close as she nuzzles her face against your cheeks. 

"Yep, here we are," you struggle out, nearly being strangled in her tight grip. She responds by squeezing you even tighter, blinded by her joy at seeing you again. 

After all, it's been a while since all three of you have had the opportunity to spend the night partying together like this. 

"Can't… breathe," Y/BFFs/N squeaks, successfully getting Willow to release you. 

"Sorry," she apologizes, stepping back. "I'm just so happy you're here." 

The freckles that spread across the bridge of her nose look especially adorable with the blush she's sporting, and her shy grin makes you forget about the near-fatality you just encountered moments before. 

"We're happy to be here," you reassure her, returning her smile. 

Your best friend agrees from beside you, nodding her head with a happy look of her own. "Believe it or not, we've missed your weirdness." She adds, cocking her head to the side. 

Willow giggles again, and her eyes crinkle up into those half crescents that could surely melt even the iciest of hearts. She's practically sunshine in human form, and you have to resist the urge to shield your eyes. 

"Yo, Willow! Who's at the door?" 

Jackson.

You feel your best friend tense beside you, and you subtly pat her leg to calm her down. 

Willow falls silent, though her lips go through the beginning stages of answering him; they open and purse, but she quickly halts her reply and shuts her mouth. She knows of Y/BFFs/N's crush on him, and she doesn't want to say the wrong thing. 

Plus, if the lovesick girl wants to run and hide in the bushes, Willow's silence could buy her some time to slip away. 

But alas, she doesn't. 

Jackson appears in the doorway a mere 5 seconds after asking his question with a beer clutched in his hand. He moves to lean against the wooden frame as his pearly smile beams at you, and Y/BFFs/N audibly swallows at the sight. 

For someone who's usually so confident, she can really be shy sometimes. 

"Lovely to see you, ladies," he greets, putting his free hand in front of him as he bows. His accent is modeled after that of Jack Sparrow, as is his surprisingly well designed costume.

You nod back at him. "Hey, Jackson. Long time no see." 

You elbow your best friend when she remains silent for a beat too long, and the action snaps her back to reality. 

"Yeah, hey Jackson." Her voice is quiet -- she doesn't trust it to refrain from cracking.

He smiles, not failing to notice the nervous aura that's quickly taken over the girl beside you. Her eyes nearly pop out of her head when he gives her a curious once-over, and you take that as your cue to save her from the impending embarrassment that's lurking just around the corner. 

"Alright, guys!" You clap, stepping forward. "Let's get to partying." 

Her shoulders relax, and you feel her slip her hand into yours as you enter the house, squeezing twice as a silent thank you. 

15 Minutes Later

Willow stands beside you in the kitchen, mixing a few things together in one of the millions of red solo cups that she bought for tonight. You sneak a peek over her shoulder at the concoction, seeing its light blue color turn purple-ish as she adds a new liquor into the equation. 

In comparison to typical house parties, this one is relatively small; most of the rooms are filled with people, but it's a comfortable amount. Maneuvering around the place is fairly easy, which is always a plus when you're coexisting with sweaty, drunk people. 

"Willow, love, why did you buy so many cups?" You ask, toying with the ripped plastic packaging of one of the stacks. 

"You know I like to be prepared," she laughs, brushing off her major miscalculation. "Plus I can just use the rest of them at my next party." 

You nod, knowing she's right. "Are you having another soon?" 

"I think so. Jiu and her crew are coming back in a couple weeks, so I thought I'd surprise them with one." 

You scoff, humor laced in the sound. "What, they didn't get enough partying done at their university already?" 

Willow turns around, grinning at you as she hands you your drink. "Evidently campus police keep a close eye on them. Siyeon whined about that a lot when she called me." 

"Sounds like her," you chuckle into your cup as you take a sip. 

PFFT

"Eww, Willow! What did you put in this?!" 

Your spit take didn't land on anyone, thankfully, but it did capture the attention of some people nearby. You wave a hand at them as a silent apology, and they go back to their previous tasks. 

The curly headed prankster covers her mouth, though the action does a terrible job of quieting her maniacal laughter. 

"You're lucky Y/BFFs/N isn't over here," you say, wiping your lips with the back of your hand. "She'd avenge me." 

Willow uses a napkin to dab the tears of laughter from her eyes. "Why else do you think I waited until she was busy with Jackson?" She asks, motioning to her lounge room across the foyer. 

You look inside, spotting Y/BFFs/N holding a pool cue in her hand as Jackson sinks another shot into one of the corner pockets. 

The sight reminds you of the pep talk and 2 shots of liquid courage you gave her earlier, and how she disappeared with the promise to make a move and actually talk to him. Now, she looks completely absorbed in whatever banter they're sharing, and although your violated taste buds still ache from the sickly-sweet mixture that Willow made, you wouldn't want her to be anywhere else. 

You can get your own revenge. 

Sneaking a glance around the kitchen, you search for something to help with your retaliation. A small package of streamers lays abandoned on the island, forgotten to be put up earlier, and you slyly grin. Their ribbons sparkle with glitter, shimmering as the multicolored party lights stream in from the living room and land on them. 

It's as if the universe is putting a spotlight on them, just for you. 

After side eyeing Willow one final time to ensure that she isn't catching onto your plan, you act quickly. She stands beside the counter, right where you left her, and you dart to the island to grab the streamers. Your fingertips soon gain purchase on the packaging, and you tear it open in one swift motion. 

Her gaze locks onto yours just as you near her, but it's far too late for her to get away. 

"Take this!" You declare, upending the baggie atop her head. She shrieks as they cascade down her body, getting caught in the creases and wrinkles of her costume as they go. A small wave of glitter tumbles out of the bag as well, coating her hair and clothes. 

Boy, that'll be fun to try and get out later. 

Her head slowly raises once you finish your assault and place the baggie on the countertop beside you, but the look in her eye is unlike anything you've ever seen. 

"You're dead," she warns. Just as the smile drops from your face, an even larger, more sinister one begins forming on hers. 

The floor creaks beneath your feet slightly as you take a step back, and you know you have to high tail it out of there if you want to evade her. 

"Catch me if you can!" You shout, springing into action. You turn around and dart out of the room, gliding past numerous partygoers in the hall. 

Willow's choice of footwear works in your favor, you soon realize; the sharp rapping sound of her heels pierces the air behind you, serving as a tell of how much distance is between you.

Her unstable platforms buy you a little time, and you thank the universe as you rush through the living room and back towards the foyer. You plan to cut across it and hide out in one of the bathrooms until she drops her plan for revenge. 

A grin pulls at your cheeks as you skid into one of the walls, looking like a character from Scooby-Doo as you will your feet to work correctly again and get you to safety. Willow laughs behind you, joining in on the fun. 

"Perfect," you mutter under your breath, spotting a clear path through the foyer. It leads under the stairs, and you can see the open door of the bathroom from where you are. 

Your feet take you past a handful of drunk people, bobbing and weaving through them with ease, before you're racing towards the restroom to take cover. 

Before you can make it there, though, you collide with someone rather abruptly as they step straight into your path. 

Your eyes shut tightly as you brace yourself for impact with the ground, but it never comes. The person reaches out and catches you before you can hit the floor, and a soft apology slips past their lips as they scoop you up. 

Upon hearing that uniquely feminine voice speak its regret again, you peek your eyes open. What you see nearly makes the woman's effort to keep you upright moot; she's so gorgeous that your legs almost give out from underneath you. 

Dirty blonde locks cascade over her shoulders in soft waves, half-mussed, half-pristine from your run-in. Her doe eyes are a velvety chocolate color, and you find yourself getting lost in them. Flickers of red show in them, illuminating almost rhythmically the longer she admires you. 

Are those contacts? You ask yourself. They have to be. 

She seems to be just as affected by your presence as you are of hers. 

"Y/N, I'm coming to get you!" 

Willow does her best to sound like a villain from a 90s horror film as she clambers her way closer to you, bumping into a few people on the way. You're brought out of your stupor by her rapidly approaching footsteps, and you take a step away from the woman. Her hands fall from your waist, where they had previously been resting. 

Stealing a quick look at the bathroom, you feel your stomach turn.

Damnit. Someone's in there now. 

Screw this sexy stranger for distracting you. Now you'll have to deal with Willow's wrath. 

"What's wrong?" 

There's that voice again. 

Part of you wants to brush it off and slip away quietly, but an even bigger part of you is determined to stay where you are and tell her. Something about her pulls you in, and you're having a hard time denying it. 

"I need to hide. I glitter-fied my friend and now she's coming after me." 

The woman's plump lips pull back in a humored smile, and she nods as a chuckle leaves her. "Right," she says, like that's a common occurrence. "I can help, if you'd like." 

"How?" You ask, your brows momentarily knitting together in confusion. When she unties and opens the black cloak that's wrapped around her body, your breath catches. 

"You in?" She asks, side eyeing the foyer as Willow nearly careens into the Egyptian vase that her mother bought her last year for Christmas. 

You take a deep breath and hold your hand out to her just as Willow rounds the corner, and she swiftly pulls you in close before you can be spotted. She winds the cloak around both of your bodies, concealing your faces as the fur-lined hood falls atop your heads. 

Unconsciously, you wrap your arms around her waist and pull her flush up against you to further ensure your safety. She quietly grunts when she stumbles over her own feet, falling into you a little. 

"Sorry," she whispers, though her third apology of the night is unnecessary. You almost want to thank her for what happened.

Especially when her warm breath fans across your right cheek, where her head is angled. 

Every breath you take pushes you closer to each other, and the satin shirt she's wearing slides against your heated skin. She swallows thickly as one of your hands falls to the small of her back, testing the waters. 

When she shifts a little to encourage you, you're acutely aware of the thigh that's worked its way between your legs. 

When did that happen? 

You bite back a sigh as she just smirks, quietly shushing you. 

Willow thunders by, shouting your name and threatening to throw you into the pool when she tracks you down. You want to laugh at that, but you'd honestly welcome it right now. Some cold water would surely bring you to your senses after being led astray by this goddess in front of you. 

Her footsteps grow distant as she makes her way outside, still searching.

The two of you remain as you are for a couple more minutes until you're certain that the coast is clear, and then you part. When she lowers the cloak, you look away; a deep blush has worked its way up your neck and across your cheeks, and letting her see it would surely make you die of embarrassment. 

She keeps her eyes on you as she reties the cover around herself, attempting to get a read on you. The bashful aura that's befallen you is cute, no doubt, but she can sense your arousal. She can smell it on you, and the scent is beginning to drive her crazy. 

You fiddle with the sleeves of your costume, readjusting them nervously.

"So, um… thanks," you say, sneaking a glance up at her. 

The red hues in her eyes are even more pronounced now, and the sight makes you press further into the wall behind you -- the one that you were previously pushed up against. 

"No problem," she smiles, showing off her pearly white teeth. Two of them catch your attention; a set of fangs now shine, looking alluring and threatening all at the same time. 

There's only one issue: you're certain that they weren't there when you first bumped into her. When did she put them in? And why do they look so real?

The feeling of her hand landing on your forearm pulls you away from the millions of questions that're firing off in your head right now. 

"May I ask your name?" She politely requests, dipping her head down sweetly. 

"Y/N," you breathe out, quickly realizing that you'd do just about anything she asked you to. 

"Y/N." She repeats, allowing the letters to blend in her mouth as they roll off her tongue. She looks satisfied for some reason as she says it again, trying it out. 

"I'm Lisa." 

"It's nice to officially meet you," you smile, reaching a hand out. Her touch is gentle but firm as she takes it, shaking it with ease. 

"Likewise, beautiful." 

The grin on your face only widens at the name, and you pull your hand away out of fear of what she might do next. She's already putting you under her spell, and you're sure that another touch would have you fully entranced. 

She studies you with pursed lips for a moment, clearly debating on something. Her eyes flicker over the dips and curves of your body as a smirk grows on her lips. 

"What are you thinking?" You question, curious but teasing. 

"That I'd love to have your body on mine again." 

She's bold, and she says it like the fact it is. No shame, no bashfulness. Just true, honest desire. 

You bite the inside of your cheek at her bravery, silently thanking the universe for it. The likelihood of you gaining the courage to make a move is slim to none even in the best cases, and this was no exception. She already has your heart skipping beats and you've only known her a few minutes. 

"How about a dance?" She suggests, quirking a brow. The look on her face disarms your defenses, and you take a deep breath before agreeing to your demise. 

"That sounds wonderful." 

She dips her head again, hiding her face away momentarily, and you think it's the cutest thing ever. 

She's shy all of a sudden as her cool demeanor slips up a bit, and that never happens. You might just be her downfall, too.

She holds an elbow out and steps forward, allowing you to link your arm with hers and cuddle in close. 

Her eyes scan across the living room as she studies it, but she's unimpressed. 

Sweaty, winding bodies thrash around to some upbeat pop song that's been overplayed on every radio station in town for weeks now, and the idea of taking you there puts her off. 

When a drunk boy comes into view with a dildo strapped to his forehead, her mind is officially made up. 

"Let's go outside," she says, leading you through the patio doors. 

A quaint gazebo sits on one side of the yard, and the dance floor that Willow's family installed a couple years ago occupies the other. Both are decorated with string lights in combinations of gold, purple, black, and orange. Other ornaments adorn the surfaces as well, and you smile when you spot a comically large spider sat atop the gazebo's roof. 

"Where would you like to go?" Lisa asks, keeping her voice low. It's calm and deep, running a chill through you. 

Softer music plays out here, offering a totally different vibe than inside. Some couples -- many of them introverted, assumably -- sway on the dancefloor as the DJ that Willow hired takes a sip of her drink on the raised stage. She adjusts a few switches slowly, not rushing for a second.

"Let's try the gazebo," you decide, glancing over your shoulder at Lisa. She's looking away, but you don't think anything of it as the two of you fall in step with one another on your way over. 

Shit, Lisa thinks to herself. 

Her plans to come to this party, feed, and make a quick getaway are totally derailed. She'd hoped to find a victim that she was attracted to but didn't like, if that even makes sense, and feed like the animal she is. Then she would leave them like all the rest, drained but still alive, and slip away. 

But now she's met you, and any desire for those plans have been thrown out the window. 

You interest her, and that doesn't happen often. She hasn't met someone who's been capable of doing that in years, and she's intrigued. Something about you just pulls her in, inexplicably, and she knows her feelings would be glaringly obvious if you saw her face right now. 

"Woah, look at this," you sigh, stepping out of her hold to check the place out. A bench runs the perimeter of the gazebo, only stopping at the doorway, and the lights look even prettier from inside. They shimmer, looking like star showers as their strings hang down in the windowless openings of the building. 

Lisa quickly learns that she loves seeing you like this. Your eyes are alight, and your sweet smile of wonder warms her heart. Her hands slip into her pockets as she eventually manages to take her eyes off you, following your lead as she admires the decorations. 

She does a twirl, looking around. 

"It's gorgeous." 

"I know, right? This is totally up Willow's alley," you say, grinning at the mental image that you can conjure up of her giddily spiffing the scene up. 

"I'll have to thank her for making it look so special, then," Lisa says, smiling. The place really makes you feel like you're in your own little world; everything about it is just right. The ambience, the decor, the company… it’s perfect, and Lisa's content with how the evening is playing out. 

Her fingers skate down your arm as she nears you, trekking their way down to your palm. She takes your hand and spins you, watching with admiration as your hair flows in the breeze. Now facing her, you thread your fingers together around the back of her neck as she encircles your waist with her arms. 

"Why have I never seen you around?" You ask sincerely, looking up at her. 

She hesitates briefly. "My university is a few towns over. I just come here to visit my family every few months." 

Not a total lie, she thinks to herself. 

"And stop by terrible parties like this, of course." You add, smirking. 

She shakes her head at that. "No, I can't say I do. I just decided to check this one out on my way to my friend's house." She explains. 

Underneath your cloak, her hands find their way to the small of your back. One stays put while the other dips a little lower, testing the waters. 

"And besides," she starts again, feeling you pull her closer. "Meeting you here automatically makes this an awesome party. Not terrible."

"Cheeeesy!" You scrunch your face up and groan, making her laugh. 

"Maybe, but it's the truth." 

"Sure, Lisa." 

She shakes her head and you laugh lightly together, still swaying about. You hold her close enough to rest your head on her shoulder, and the pads of your thumbs rub small circles on the sensitive skin of her neck. She hums at the feeling, and you take note of the way she relaxes in your arms. 

The night breeze appears again, performing a flowing dance of its own as it lulls past you in waves. A slight chill resides in it, mixed with a generous amount of the day's sweet, fading heat, and you're at peace. 

The slow song that had been playing across the yard ends delicately, parting with some melodic feature that resembles a warm embrace, and it blends seamlessly into the next song. 

Turning Page, you recognize it as.  

Huh, how ironic. One of your favorites. 

Lisa's lips brush against your cheek as she turns her head slightly, whispering, "I like this one, too." 

How did she know? You ask yourself. You hadn't said it out loud… 

Maybe she's just a good guesser. Yeah, that's gotta be it. 

You feel yourself melt as she begins singing the words to you. It's hushed and sentimental -- meant only for your ears to hear, and that makes it even more special to you. 

"If I had only felt the warmth within your touch"

She croons, pressing her cheek against your warm skin. You blush, catching yourself when you remember what the next line of the song is. 

"If I had only seen how you smile when you blush" 

She brings a hand up to cup your cheek in her palm, and her other arm remains around you, holding you tenderly. 

"Or how you curl your lip when you concentrate enough"

Now, her thumb runs across your bottom lip. You look into her eyes and find them an even deeper shade of red than they had been before, but it doesn't frighten you for some reason. She glances down at your mouth again, fighting her impatience as she waits for permission from you. 

"I would have known what I was living for all along"

You nod and lace your fingers in her locks, and she doesn't waste another second. 

She leans in, humming against your lips when they meet hers for the first time. Her lipgloss spreads across them upon contact, smudging its precise application, but she doesn't seem to care in the slightest. She draws you in closer, and you bring both of your hands around to cup her face as you deepen the kiss. 

Her mouth is welcoming against yours, and it moves languidly as you get adjusted to one another. Every move makes you feel dizzier than the one before it, and swarms of butterflies take flight in your stomach with no signs of stopping. 

She nips at your bottom lip as her hands dip far lower than before, now kneading your ass as your kisses continue to work her up. 

"Fuck," you curse, breaking away from her lips to catch your breath. She's stolen it all from you, and yet she's still not ready to give you a rest; her mouth drops to your jaw, embracing your skin there before moving down to your neck. 

She doesn't realize how dangerous the game she's playing truly is until it's almost too late. 

Her lips press to the area just above your pulsepoint, where she's learned over the years that blood pumps the hardest and tastes the sweetest. She draws it into her mouth, swirling her tongue over the area as her ears perk up at the breathless sound of your moans. They spur her on, and she nips at the skin, surely leaving a hickey. 

Her senses become even more clouded when you say her name, the title caught somewhere between a whine and command, and she feels the strong impulse to claim you. The sensation is overwhelming, and she knows you can feel it too. 

Your hands tug on the collar of her shirt as she lets her fangs fully extend, no longer suppressing them. They rake across your pulsepoint, making you shiver against her. 

"Please…" 

That's all you manage to get out before they pierce your skin, eliciting a whimper from you. Blood fills her mouth instantly, sliding across her taste buds in velvety waves and calming her constant craving. Your hands tighten in her hair, and the delicious twinge of pain that it provides only encourages her more. 

Your blood is different than anything she's ever tasted; it's richer -- sweeter. A throaty groan leaves her as she savors it, and you shut your eyes in pleasure. It's addicting, but she knows she has to stop herself before she hurts you. If she continues like this much longer, she won't have the willpower to let go. 

She retracts her fangs as she licks your taste from them, and then you feel her warm tongue clean the wound she made. It stings a bit, but in all the right ways.

When she pulls back to look at you, she finds your eyes half-lidded and a pleased smile on your face. It nearly kills her, then and there. 

Her gaze flickers back to your neck to admire the hickie she made earlier, but what she sees surprises her. Below it is a darker, more prominent marking that she's only seen other vampires leave behind before. 

Definitely not a hickie.

Your brows furrow as you look at her neck as well, noticing a faint outline of something growing darker by the second. Blinking a few times to ensure that you aren't hallucinating, you find that it's really there. 

"Lisa, what's on your neck?" You ask. 

"A soulmate mark." She responds, feeling a sense of belonging settle over her as she looks at you again. You just confirmed her suspicions by asking that.

"Same as yours," she smiles.

[anashins]

The Art of Distraction

Title: The Art of Distraction

Pairing: Taeyong x You

Genre: romance, schoollife, smut

Warnings: protected sex, cunnilingus, blowjob, lots of teasing and cursing

Word Count: 5.304

Summary: You have to study for your upcoming math exam, but your boyfriend is bored and has something else in mind instead of letting you pass it.

________

“I’m bored.”

“You wanted to come over, Taeyong, so look for something that will keep you entertained, because I won’t be done anytime soon over here.”

For days, you had been studying for an upcoming exam in the worst subject ever: math.

Ever since the third year of middle school, you started to dislike it, and it hadn’t even taken you a year more from then on to declare it as the subject you were the worst at.

Even now in high school, your liking for math had never increased. Your teacher with his high expectations didn’t make it easier either, and just the mere thought of the upcoming exam on the next day made your stomach turn upside down in fear.

Sometimes, you thought you actually understood the topic when it was being explained on the board, but as soon as the numbers and letters changed, everything didn’t make any sense anymore to you. The questions the teacher asked made you even more confused along with the exercises he gave the students to solve at home. You always wondered why your classmates to your left and right had such an easy time solving everything, whereas you ourself didn’t even understand the question.

You settled with the thought of being a hopeless case, but you were still panicking about how you’d ever pass this exam.

It was the most important, the final one in school. There was no way you could fail it, and you had actually studied more than ever before for a subject. It had been days since you had last left the house, and you only went downstairs to eat dinner and talk with your parents about some things which should distract you, but it certainly didn’t help.

Your mind was a big blur of numbers and letters. You got the feeling that, the more you studied, the more you forgot and the more you made yourself go crazy.

Now, staring at the combinations of different numbers and letters again, you didn’t even get the meaning of the question which was written above the exercise. You ruffled your hair and let out an annoying, frustrating sigh.

What value did you need to search for? How did you even calculate this? What did all of the things you had written in your notebook even mean? It was like everything was slowly being erased from your mind the longer you stared at it.

You shifted in your seat, unable to find a proper, comfortable position which didn’t increase your mood at all. The sound of the pencil rolling over the paper had stopped a long while ago, and since then you had been doing nothing other than staring blankly at the sheet in front of you, not paying attention to the exercise anymore. It was like you just stared at the paper, your thoughts drifting to nowhere.

It was loud music blasting through the room, interrupting the pleasant silence which made you flinch and pulled you out of your thoughts. You almost let your pencil fall, feeling your heart pumping heavily against your chest.

“Taeyong!” you yelled in annoyance and turned around to see your boyfriend playing around with his phone.

He flashed an apologetic look in your direction. “I’m sorry, so sorry! I just stumbled over this funny tik tok video, but the volume was on, wait...”

With a few hand movements, he managed to turn off the volume, the music being broken by silence again.

You shot an angry glare at Taeyong who just shrugged with a grin on his face which was way too sweet to let you be mad at him any longer. Turning around in your seat, you hovered over your papers again, tapping with your pencil against the edge of your desk, the rhythmic noise giving you a little reassurance.

*Klonk*

“Taeyong!”

Once again, you turned around and found him kneeling in front of your nightstand. He had just knocked over the picture frame which showed both of you and now, he put it back on its place, wiping over the glass to make sure that nothing was broken.

He moved his head aside and smiled shyly. “I’m sorry! It was an accident…”

“Can you just… sit down and do nothing for the next few hours? It’s getting on my nerves!”

The glance you gave him was reflecting pure annoyance and anger now. Without even paying any attention to him, you got back to your math sheets, hearing Taeyong placing himself on the bed, rustling the sheets as he laid down.

It was silent again and you inhaled deeply, trying to concentrate yourself. You held the pencil convulsively in your hand, wanting to write something down, but your mind was somehow blocked.

Not by letters and numbers though, but by something immerse and black in your thoughts, preventing you from doing anything productive now. But you needed to, the exam was important, you needed to…

“Am I really getting on your nerves?”

It was Taeyong’s arms slowly wrapping around your shoulders and pulling you into an embrace from behind which broke your thoughts once more. His cheek brushed over your ear, and you could feel his warm breath on your skin as he repeated,

“Am I really that annoying?”

He kissed your earlobe, his hair tickling your neck as he pulled the skin between his lips, slowly nibbling on it.

You didn’t know that you had been holding your breath until you exhaled deeply. This was your sensitive spot. Your very, very sensitive spot. And he knew. You gritted your teeth and just answered,

“Yes, you are!”

But it came out more like a gasp than the strong and commanding answer you actually had in mind.

His kisses went further to your neck, trailing down to your shoulders. He kissed every spot he passed, and it was until he reached the collar of your shirt that you realized you had actually rolled your head back to give him space to go on.

“Doesn’t seem like you’re annoyed by my presence at all,” he whispered, and you could actually see his smug grin in front of your eyes.

That little shit.

Taeyong’s embrace around your shoulders loosened and you breathed out, expecting him to finally back off and go back to whatever he was doing and leaving you alone - but you were absolutely wrong.

Taeyong’s hands wandered down to the hem of your shirt, and it was when he fiddled with the first button that you gasped once again. Slightly dumbfounded, you lowered your head, looking down at your cleavage which was being revealed inch for inch with every button he opened.

Taeyong chuckled beside you and followed your gaze. When you turned your head aside, you could see him smirking.

“Taeyong, that’s…”

You held your breath as he slid his hands down your upper body from behind, parting your shirt to reveal the white lace bra you were wearing. The moment you wanted to open your mouth again, this time to protest in your strongest volume, he had his hands already in your underwear, cupping your breasts as his lips attacked the side of your neck again.

“Oh god,” you breathed, feeling him squeeze your breasts and massaging them as the straps slowly slipped down your shoulders to give his hands more freedom.

You hadn’t let go of the pencil in your fingers until now. Your grip tightened more like you just wanted to hold onto something to get support as Taeyong’s thumbs brushed over each of your peaks, flicking over them and tweaking them between his fingers.

Your legs closed automatically and your body arched, craving for more. He sucked on and nibbled on your neck, teasing your skin with gentle bites and kisses.

“So… I’m really annoying, aren’t I?”

Fuck. His voice sounded meaningful as though he was up to something, and seconds later, one of his hands slid out of your cup just to run towards your navel. He was making his way to the focused area very slowly, teasing you with his skin on yours and causing you to get goosebumps on your stomach. You stared at his hand passing your navel and moving further downwards, the tip of his fingers finding a way under the hem of your pleated skirt.

“No!” you yelled and freed yourself from Taeyong’s embrace.

Your body was heated up from his touches and you still struggled with breathing as you pushed your boyfriend away. You felt him letting go of you by himself and took a deep breath.

Staring at your notebook, you pulled up the straps of your bra and fiddled with the buttons to close your shirt, but with your trembling fingers, it was not easy work. This was not the right time. You had this exam tomorrow and couldn’t be distracted - there were so many things you still needed to learn, there…

“Taeyong!” you scolded again, totally shocked as he shrugged your legs off, spreading them wide apart in front of him.

When you looked down, you found him kneeling in front of you, looking up to you as he licked over his upper lip sinfully.

For a moment, you stared at each other – he, with a lustful gaze and you, with a feared one because you knew, he wouldn’t stop once he began. You shook your head, trying to close your thighs, but Taeyong held them apart with his strong hands so that you’d never have a chance.

“Yongie,” you begged, “Yongie please, I need to learn, I need to…”

You struggled in his grip, but the longer you tried, the more you were assured that this would have a different ending than you had imagined.

“You need a distraction,” he ended your sentence and flipped your skirt back to lower his head on your right thigh.

The pencil fell out of your hand when he licked over the sensitive skin on your inner thigh. He left a wet path as he licked a line, massaging either side of your thighs with his hands to relax and tease you at the same time. Regardless of how much you fought against it, you leaned back in your seat and your hips even bucked against his head, wanting more.

Taeyong hooked your legs over his shoulders so that your swollen sex was open to his upcoming attack, covered only by a single thin layer of panties. His lips were being pressed against your left thigh, kissing forward and approaching your wetness which was hiding behind the fabric.

The closer his kisses came, the shorter your breath got until you stopped for a second when his lips reached the waistband of your panties next to your entrance. Taeyong let his tongue glide along the band, partly along your skin, causing you to bear down a moan by covering your mouth with your hand.

You didn’t want to give in yet. You kept your gaze at your math sheets, but no matter how much you tried to concentrate, Taeyong was quite a dangerous and good distraction. You thought it would help to make him stop if you pretended not to be bothered at all, but on the other hand… that boy was so good.

His hands moved up and down your thighs, his palms brushing over your skin which got intensely hot due to his work. With his index finger, he hooked on the waistband and put the thin layer aside, clamping it with two fingers and revealing your wet folds as he stared at your core lustfully.

“Taeyong!”

It was a scream, replaced by a gasp as he placed his tongue flat on your wetness, applying pressure before he licked up. Finally, after you had tried to resist so hard, you moaned. It was a rather quiet moan, because you still refused to give in to the fullest, but Taeyong knew that it wouldn’t take him much effort anymore to get you where he wanted you. Smug as fuck, he smirked against your skin and placed a kiss on your nub, making your hips jerked-knife off the seat.

“For someone who doesn’t want this, you’re already really wet,” he teased and licked up the juices dripping out of you.

“Shut up!” you returned, but your voice faded away in a moan when Taeyong dipped his tongue into your entrance. “Oh god!”

You closed your eyes and circled your legs around his upper body, bringing him closer to you, because obviously, the tip of his tongue was by far not enough.

Taeyong chuckled and hummed against your skin, causing the vibrations to turn you on even more. You brought both of your hands up to cover your mouth fully and bite down your loud moans like that.

For your boyfriend, it was an amusing view, because he knew you had finally given in. Whimpers escaped your lips as he licked over your entrance again, sliding his tongue along your folds like he was tasting some kind of candy, letting out a delicious groan. He stopped at your nub and you knew, when he began to play on it now, you were totally screwed.

“Ohhh!” you moaned as his tongue flicked over your clit, bucking your hips against him, wanting more and more.

Screw math, screw the exam, screw studying. Just for now.

Taeyong sucked on your clit and rolled it in between his lips. He let you grab his hair as your arousal caused your core to pulse against him. Taking a large breath, he allowed the scent of excitement to wash over his body and he found it exhilarating as it infiltrated his system.

His tongue trailed from your clit down to your folds before he plunged it deep into you again. All along the way, you cried out, shifted in your seat and bucked your hips to meet his licks, tangling your fingers in his hair and scratching his head. Forgotten were the numbers and letters you had studied before. Everything in front of you went black as you closed your eyes to give in to the fullest of pleasures.

Taeyong’s left fingers suddenly dipped into your centre, causing you to jump at this sudden movement. You wiggled in your seat, trying to get him deeper into you and as smug as he was, he just grinned and pushed into you with one hard thrust.

“Ahhhh!”, you screamed, one hand clasping his neck and the other one holding onto the edge of your seat just to look for support in case you’d pass out soon.

Each thrust coming from Taeyong’s slender hand made you jerk in pleasure, struggling with wanting to stop now and continuing until you’d probably swoon.

Whatever Taeyong was doing down there, it made you become a mess. Cries and whimpers fell from your lips, somehow mixing together to noises you didn’t even know you were able to make.

His approving groans sent vibrations to the region around your clit, making the pleasure in your groin just build up faster. Your hips bucked up and down, wanting him to go faster as the knot in your lower stomach grew bigger and bigger, just begging to be released, to explode.

“Hmm, are you feeling good?” you heard him saying. “Much better than math isn’t it?”

“Tae-… Yongie, oh god…”

Screw math. You were gasping for air, crying out his name over and over again. The pleasant feeling pooled up inside of you and you knew that, when he’d go faster, you’d be finally released.

“Faster?”

Taeyong knew that as well. He rolled his tongue over the sensitive bundle of nerves, flicked and sucked on it harder while the tip of his fingers pumped in and out of you. He nudged your clit, pressing his lips against it to intensify the coiling feeling in the pit of your stomach by doubling his speed. He hummed in pleasure, sending vibrations throughout your body as you felt your orgasm nearing.

“Are you going to sum?”

Shit. You loved when Taeyong dirty talked. It was always such a turn on. You could practically see him smirking down there.

“Ohhh, Yongie...”

You threw your head back, anticipating the release. Your thighs tensed around his neck and he felt your walls begin to flutter around his fingers. A little more. Just a little more.

But then he stopped the motions coming from his fingers and lips as sudden as he had attacked you. You whined, suddenly feeling so unfulfilled and empty. The feeling of not getting the chance to release yourself while your orgasm was right around the corner was almost ripping you apart. Tears fell from your eyes and you half-screamed his name, partly in annoyance and partly because you were begging him to continue.

You watched Taeyong, who was still kneeling in between your legs, pulling out his fingers fully just to lead them to his mouth. His gaze pierced through your eyes as you watched him parting them slightly, a sticky substance sticking on them.

He flashed a smirk at you before taking them into his mouth and sucking it gently. Your face flushed instantly when he pulled it out, showing you that he had sucked all your juices off.

“You taste good,” he said as he got up and you looked at him in disbelief. “Too bad I’m just an annoyance.”

Taeyong sighed dramatically, yet playfully, and walked towards your bed. You shifted in your seat, still confused over the fact why the hell he had just stopped and didn’t continue. It was surely not the first time that this little fuck was teasing you like hell, but never had he been that cruel to stop right before you were about to cum.

“And too bad you want me to sit down and do absolutely nothing the next few hours.”

You stared at him seating himself onto the mattress, still feeling heated up and so turned on.

“It’s a little hot in here, isn’t it?”

As much as Taeyong wanted to hide his grin, he just couldn’t. That little shit was playing with you, and you knew that, from the moment you had let him in between your legs, you had already lost.

You clutched onto the lower hem of your skirt, feeling your core still dripping when Taeyong pulled his shirt over his head and laid back down on the bed, practically presenting himself on a silver tray. He was offering himself to you, and it was only a question of time until you were going to attack him back. He crossed his arms behind his head and watched you struggling with your priorities with much amusement.

Your instincts told you just to jump at him, but your mind told you to calm the fuck down and concentrate on your studies again. Math wasn’t done with you and neither was the exam which would be in around 12 hours. You should have never allowed Taeyong to come over. Never. But on the other hand… that boy, lying half naked in front of you, was your super hot boyfriend, wanting to pleasure you in every way possible.

Fuck everything.

With your head lowered, you stood up, causing Taeyong to raise his brows in surprise. With one fluid motion, you opened the two upper buttons on your shirt and let the clothing slide down your shoulders, draping around your ankles as it fell on the floor. Taeyong watched you in amazement with sparkling eyes.

Quickly, your skirt followed, gliding down your hips to fall onto your feet as well. You took a step forward to get out of the pile of clothes and flashed a deathful glare at Taeyong who had a half-smirk around his mouth.

You walked towards him and he sat up to welcome you with open arms, “If I’m going to fail this exam, you’re so doomed.”

He just laughed and wrapped his arms around your body, pulling you into an embrace and placing you on his lap.

Taeyong attacked you in an open-mouthed kiss, bringing your bum just a little closer so that you were sitting right on his crotch. He lifted his hips, brushing against your core and with that, the familiar feeling from before started to rise once again. You let out a light moan against your boyfriend’s lips as you hooked your arms around his neck.

“Hmm… I think a distraction is everything you need right now.”

He bucked his hips once again, making you cry out his name when your hips started to move and rub against the bulge in his jeans. Just a few layers were separating you two and neither one of you could wait until they were fully gone.

With your legs on either side of Taeyong, you slid up and down his crotch in a grinding motion, now causing him to whimper instead of you.

“Lay down!” you commanded and Taeyong tilted his head in confusion before you put your hands on his chest and pushed him back into the pillows.

Moving backwards a bit, you opened the button and unzipped his pants. Hooking under the waistband, you flapped his boxers and his erection sprang out, slapping against his stomach. Once again, you wondered how he was able to keep it in his jeans for that long.

“My turn now,” you said and licked over your lips.

Taeyong watched you in excitement and anticipation as you bent down and opened your mouth, letting his swollen length pass your lips.

He threw his head back and sighed in relief of finally being taken in, covering half of his face with his arm he had just placed on his forehead. You swallowed further, letting him slide in slowly while his other hand clenched the sheets to his left.

When you reached your limit, not being able to continue anymore, you popped him in and out of your mouth while either of your hands were embracing the base of his cock. He was pulsing against your palms, the blood running through this body part with a high pace like never before.

With a slurping sound, you let go of him and wiped your mouth, giving Taeyong a teasing look.

“Shiiiit!” he groaned with a husky, deep voice and you could swear that it was the sexiest sound you had heard in a long time.

“Hmm, I’ve barely even started, Yongie,” you said and giggled.

You put your tongue on the base where your hands were, letting it slide all the way up to the tip, leaving a wet path with your saliva. Massaging his balls experimentally with your fingers, you made him shift his hips in anticipation, hearing him inhaling deeply just to let out a long-lasting moan which sounded like music in your ears.

You flicked your tongue over his tip, tasting the precum dripping from it. Dipping your tongue into the crease, Taeyong groaned again, this time louder and impatient. It was until then, when he began to swear as you bobbed your head up and down the upper half of his cock, making him nearing his pleasure. Now opening your mouth, you took him in all at once until you reached your limits.

“Fuck!” he cursed, tangling his fingers in your hair and scratching your head.

His pants mixed with groans, turning him into a mess under your touches like he had just done with you before.

You continued bobbing your head up and down his length, taking him to the furthest you could and letting him slide out of your mouth just to take him in again. The pace was rather slow, but it had its effect.

Taeyong was so, so close. You intensified his feeling by massaging the area around his base, then letting your hands help you by gliding up and down the lower part of his cock. You then stopped at the head to suck with your lips on the tip, nudging it with your tongue before letting it pass your wet lips once again.

He was twitching in your mouth in anticipation for the upcoming release, and it was right before he was reaching his climax when you let go and sat up, wiping your tongue over your lips.

“We’re getting a little bitchy over here,” Taeyong panted as he saw you stopping and crawling back to pull on the waistband of both, his boxers and jeans.

“Tit for tat,” you just answered, and within a blink of an eye, your boyfriend had already grabbed your waist on either side and flipped you over so that you laid underneath him. “Oh, we’re getting a little impatient over here, aren’t we?”

Taeyong just let out a laugh when he got on his knees and hovered over you, reaching under your back to open your bra with one fluid motion. You arched your body to make it easier for him to remove the clothing. He placed himself on top of you and lowered his head to take one of your nipples in his mouth.

His tongue moved over your nub in circular movements while his other hand grabbed at your breasts to massage them intensely with his fingers. He took your peak between his teeth, sucking on it roughly and making you gasp, partly in slight pain and partly in excitement as he gently bit into it.

“God, Taeyong!” you screamed, digging your fingers in the back of his neck while he kissed down to your navel. “Just…”

You didn’t even need to speak it out. He sat up and put both of your legs over his shoulder to slide off your soaked panties. You could still feel your core pulsing from the things he had one before and it probably only got worse now that he was so near, but still not in you.

Taeyong peeled off his jeans and boxers, getting entangled with the clothes in eagerness. When he was finally freed and completely naked in front of you, he reached over to your nightstand, grabbing one of the condoms out of the package. You reached out your hand to grab it and before Taeyong could even realize, you hooked your legs around his waist and made him turn around, pushing him back onto the mattress so that you were sitting on top of him again.

Flashing a triumphant smile at him, you put the silver pack between your teeth and opened it. Like an expert, you rolled the rubber down his length.

“Shitshitshit.”

Taeyong had every right to curse. He loved it when you were riding him. It was rare, because he was a kind of a very dominant guy, but when it was your turn, you always managed to give him the best ride ever.

You crawled closer to his crotch and by grabbing on his length, you directed him at your entrance. The tip poked into you, and although you planned to tease him a little more, you couldn’t continue to do so. Not when pleasure and release were so tangible. Your eyes fluttered in bliss as you threw your head back, letting your lips part in satisfaction the further his cock slid into you. Feeling him inch for inch, you bit your lip in excitement and exhaled in relief.

You placed your hands on his chest and started to move your hips in circular motions, gyrating against Taeyong’s hips. You could hear him groan and feel his length twitching in your core, anticipating more.

He grabbed on your waist and followed your movements, thrusting upwards when you started to raise and lower your hips on his cock. You clenched your muscles and glided up and down his member, increasing your pace with every movement you made. Your pants, moans and groans filled the room from the first time you had led him into you.

Probably neither of you exactly knew what you were doing anymore by now. All you could do was give in to the pleasure, being led by the coiling feeling building up in your groin once again. It was fun on top, but it was exhausting as well. Usually, Taeyong would…

“Out of breath yet?” he asked as he sat up, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear before he kissed you with his mouth slightly open.

His tongue glided into your mouth for a deep kiss, but not one of the sort where it was all sloppy and wet, but one of the sort where it was all passionate and hot. Bringing your legs around his waist, you hooked your ankles and let yourself be placed onto the mattress without him pulling out.

“I can’t anymore,” you breathed, running your fingers over his chest before grabbing onto his shoulders. “Yongie, please, I—“

“I know, I know.” He kissed you once again, and it was the moment he started to thrust when you threw your head back, angling your hips against his.

“Ohh… Oh god…”

Your nails dug deeper into his skin and he lowered his head to look you in the eyes intensely, the tip of his nose slightly touching yours. Sweat was glistening on his forehead, wetting the tip of his hair.

It was over with slow and tender motions now. Taeyong reached out for the headboard and held onto it as he increased his pace. He practically slammed into you mercilessly and roughly, making you scream endlessly this time.

“Taeyong!” You clenched your eyes shut, just feeling him hitting the right spot in the right angle over and over again. “Fast... please faster!”

The bed creaked loudly under you, and you were glad that your parents weren’t home now.

“Shit,” Taeyong panted, keeping his thrusts quick and steady. “God, you feel so good…” He went faster and faster. “I love you,” he exclaimed suddenly, “I love you so fucking much.”

Just in the moment you wanted to return something, the orgasm ripped through you. You let out a high pitched scream, experiencing a climax as powerful and mind-blowing as always with Taeyong.

He felt your walls tightening around his length, your thighs tensing and closing around his waist even stronger. The orgasm shot spasms through your body, making you hold onto your boyfriend even more desperate when you lolled your head back as no more sound wanted to come out of your mouth anymore, your body arching against his.

Feeling himself getting close too, he cupped your face and kissed you passionately. You could tell from the pace of his pants that he was so close to his release as well, and it was only seconds later, after a few more thrusts, that he finally came too. His body shook as he let out a deep groan, falling on top of you with a long moan.

You both breathed heavily from exhaustion, and Taeyong pulled you into an embrace immediately after, placing your head on his chest and holding you tightly like he never wanted to let you go ever again.

“Screw math,” he then said and you could feel him smile as he placed a tender kiss on your forehead.

“Screw math,” you repeated and pulled the blanket over the both of you.

Yet, there was still something you hadn’t said back when Taeyong exclaimed it in release.

“I love you, too.” And with a smirk, you imitated, “So fucking much.”

In embarrassment, he got up and flipped you over again, wrestling with you on the bed as relieved laughter filled the room.

Forgotten was math and the upcoming exam. You probably wouldn’t have gotten anything in your head anymore anyway. And Perhaps, a little distraction to free your mind and clear your thoughts was more helpful than studying until you went crazy.

And your boyfriend was probably the best solution to every question anyways. There was no way you would fail the exam anymore.

[mandareeboo]

SU Music Rankings

Bc I can and I wanna start some Disk Horse rip. These are all in order of preference, with explanations, etc. It’s a long bitch. That said, I’m not counting little short jingles or small joke songs like Little Butler. This is the meat and potatoes of SU music- just under 30 songs. I might do the rest if people like my takes lol.

I scored it mostly on three bases- how dear it was to my heart, how much/often I relisten to it, and also what it means to the plot. That said, little fun songs don’t automatically go farther down than big, plot-heavy songs either! It’s a strange little balance.

Special Note: I don’t dislike any of this music! I love SU and that includes its bumps and glitches. I just pick favorite children lol.

1.) Change

Was there ever a more Steven moment than when he wiped the blood off his face and kissed it into sparkles? I think not. 

If “Be Wherever You Are” is an ode to young Steven, then this is teen Steven’s. Talking about change, and how much and how little it can do. How he holds his arms up for Spinel to hug him, so trusting. How he seems able to just. Break into soft tears at will, and not to be manipulative- it’s just his kind nature. The warmth in his voice. Fuck yesssss.

2.) Change Your Mind

This song is only fifty five seconds and it’s EVERYTHING to me. It really felt like someone was speaking the words I’d always held deep inside of me, unsure of how to say. It feels like a goodbye to someone who never really loved me. 

As much as I enjoyed Future, if this was the finale of SU, I would’ve been perfectly okay with that.

3.) Drift Away

This song gave me legitimate shivers the first time I heard it, and it still haunts me to this day. Spinel stayed, and waited, and all she got was a transmission thousands of years later. Fuck.

4.) Here We Are In The Future

THE MOVIE IS SU AS ITS BEST AND I WON’T BE SWAYED ON IT. Steven being a teen who loves his weird family but is growing just a bit sarcastic to their drama. The adorable love he and Connie share. His slow realization that he will always be working, always have things to do, is both somber and real. The Crystal Gems won’t be safe with one epic battle. They’ll be safe with years of hard work and love. HIS LITTLE HANDSHAKE WITH AMETHYST.

This is a helluva bop and a great way to summarize the main character’s backstories.

5.) Let’s Only Think About Love

Did ya’ll know that Zach Callison killed his throat with that last note? He gave his all for this performance in a vocal range he no longer comfortably do and by god did it SHINE. The FLAIR. The FORESHADOWING. All of the Gems all being awkward about Rose and Steven trying to bring them to the present. Peridot having a mini-existential crisis in a cute yellow dress. I love Zach Callison’s normal singing voice but man is that a fucking bop. Nothing will ever beat it.

6.) Here Comes A Thought

This bad boy helped me out a LOT with some mental issues I was dealing with in high school. I was unmedicated, unsupervised, and full of anxiety. I’d have break downs when I tried to speak about certain things. I couldn’t function. This song inspired me. It helped me feel okay with my intrusive thoughts.

And the episode! -chef’s kiss-. Once again bringing up the morally gray area of training child soldiers. Connie expanding her social group. Steven’s trauma hauling ass in that second half. The ANIMATION. Stevonnie’s gorgeous singing voice. GOD yes.

7.) It’s Over Isn’t It?

Just barely squeaking above Stronger Than You, this ballad is everything gorgeous. The whole episode is. I think Mr. Greg stands in the top five of my episodes for the entire show. It even got nominated!

There’s just so much about this song that I love. The gentle melancholy of Pearl’s voice. How the crew had to redo the shots for this bit bc Deedee went so fucking hard. The hard cuts between Pearl, remembering the love of her life, and Steven, who has begun to feel like he took her away. I’d recommend this song to anyone, regardless of what they do or don’t know about SU, simply bc it tugs so many heartstrings of love, loss, and responsibility.

8.) Stronger Than You

Did you realize this episode aired SEVEN years ago? This bitch was what got me into SU! Hearing about Ruby and Sapphire made my little gay heart so happy inside, and then getting a whole song confirming that they were a couple, that their love powered the strongest Gem on the team? Aaaaaaaaa

To this DAY I get excited when I hear Estelle start singing. This song is timeless. This song will live in media history. God I fucking love this song.

9.) Other Friends

I’m not the biggest musical person, so I hadn’t heard of Sarah Stiles before her casting as Spinel, but JESUS CHRIST the lady went hard. She went SO fucking hard. Sarah Stiles started on 100 and somehow just kept CLIMBING. You can just hear the sheer manic energy building in her voice, the anger and resentment. 10/10 Sarah Stiles is a queen.

10.) Independent Together

This made the list entirely bc the crew was like “you’re gonna get a himbo ass Steven-Greg fusion singing with Opal while Garnet flies across the moon on Lion while floating” and I am forever thankful to them for it

11.) Who We Are

Bismuth deserved more songs. ‘Nuff said.

12.) Peace and Love (On the Planet Earth)

It Could’ve been Great is EASILY one of my favorite s2 episodes. I love the entire concept of this song. Of Steven making music to reflect how much Earth means to him and his family. Of him teaching Peridot some self-care. Also Peridot’s singing voice is really cute and squeaky. 

I know it’s silly, but I would’ve really enjoyed a flip around of this in Future! Like Peridot reminding Steven how much he loves music, that he needs to take time to relax for himself, maybe with a new verse or just a remix of the original song!

13.) Something Entirely New

I watched this episode as it aired, and I legitimately almost cried. I love Charlyne Yi’s voice so much ya’ll- her raspy, not perfect singing voice against Sapphire’s deep soothing lull is great.

And to have Ruby and Sapphire’s meeting be the way it was- for Ruby to bemoan Sapphire losing Homeworld, to being stuck with a single Ruby, while Sapphire is a noble who has always been taught everyone in her “caste” is vitally important (and has, in her own mind, taken that to mean every Gem, as she should) and how they come together and make each other happy. Good shit good shit.

14.) I’m Just a Comet

The fact that Greg’s music career never really blasted off pisses me off to this day bc Tom Scharpling’s voice is fucking BUTTER. Also the song really feels like a jab at his parents now that we know the kind of dynamic he had growing up. “This life in the stars if all I’ve ever known” is definitely him wiping away their existence after reminding them (and himself) the things they used to say about him.

15.) Do It For Her

This episode. This fucking episode. This episode got me permanently hooked on SU. I’d just binged season 1 and was kinda meh about it overall after the bop of Stronger Than You. “Oh,” I thought to myself, foolishly, “I’ll probably just casually watch this from time to time.”

Like three days later Sworn to the Sword aired and that was it. I was hooked! Pearl’s gentle training song turning darker and darker, Connie’s accompaniment from nervous to determined to fully into such a toxic mindset. The fact that SU had the BALLS to discuss the repercussions of training child soldiers, now and later. This episode was everything to me, STILL is everything to me.

Six years and well over 100 fanfics written later, I think it’s safe to say this show swallowed me whole and never let go.

16.) System/Boot.pearl_final(3)

I debated putting this on the list because it’s not anything crazy important, just a way to show things are Wrong, but I had to do it entirely bc Pearl is so damn SALTY.

Like telling us about the Gems makes sense, she felt like she was given a duty, but she went so damn petty. WHY is that Ruby alone. Gross. This Amethyst is a trash dump. Wtf are you people.

17.) Full Disclosure

This episode really feels like a turning point for SU. Before, the show had its dark moments- but now we’re in the thick of it, and it’s not going away. Full Disclosure felt like an rebuff to the idea of returning to any normal we’d established in season 1. Gems are actually a giant species now. Gems tried to kill us now. There’s this Yellow Diamond bitch who got namedropped. Something about a Cluster. 

The song itself is BALLER, with its ingenious use of Steven’s ringtone and photos as he tries to decide whether to clue in Connie on all this nonsense. Meanwhile we, the audience, already know damn well Connie about to yeet some common sense into him.

18.) What’s the Use of Feeling Blue?

I’mma admit it- I’m a Yellow Diamond stan. I’ve always loved her- her anger, her poise, her hardworking nature. I actively argued against the “Yellow Shattered Pink” theories back in the day. But, man, when this arc leaked? I got so overexcited I was too jittery to watch it for like two days. It’s easily my favorite arc of the series. The sheer alien nature of the zoo, the Famethyst, and absolutely Patti Lupone’s beautiful ballad. Goddamn. Yellow singing to Blue to try and help her regain her old status, the warble in her voice as she reminds Blue she misses Pink too, the movement of the bubbles as she talks about attack. It gives me shivers to this day. FUCK.

19.) Tower of Mistakes

This is, fun fact, that only SU song I have completely memorized. The story itself is kinda funny! See, we lost internet at my house for a solid 5 to 6 months when these episodes aired, so I only got a very brief window to view them all. But this was the first Amethyst song in a long while, and I didn’t want to forget it! So I keep replaying it in my head for ages. And that’s still definitely a thing.

Anyway will never not be sad that this entire song was about making it up to Garnet for Amethyst’s perceived slights with Sugilite (which was a two-way road), only for Garnet to pressure her into fusion later when pissed and never discuss it again bc Garnet probably never thought twice about it and Amethyst has the emotional openness of a clam that’s just been told its ugly. Helluva way to make someone feel like shit, G. Helluva way to bottle that shit, Ames.

20.) On the Run

I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times: Amethyst! Needed! More! Songs! 

The dichotomy between Steven’s play and Amethyst’s honest desire to run away from home is so well-done, especially when you consider a lot of Steven and Amethyst’s actions are playing together. The song is also near and dear to me simply bc it’s my favorite Amethyst episode to exist (well, maybe second to What’s Your Problem, but not by much). Moments like these are all the proof I need that they were right to fuse first.

21.) Be Wherever You Are

This tune really just feels like an ode to who Steven was as a kid. Trapped on an island with no way home, and he’s just happy to be with his friends. The stars are beautiful and not oppressive. Also that one animatic with Lars and the Off Colors playing in the Homeworld Kindergarten to this music was iconic and made this song get stuck in my head for a solid month.

22.) Familiar

I ADORE how the crew use bright neon colors to show how alien Homeworld can be. And Steven recognizing that the Diamonds treat him how the CGs used to, and how prepared he is to “fix” a broken family. It’s a soft, gentle tune about melancholy. Also the Pebbles are beautiful.

23.) Let Me Drive My Van Into Your Heart

Such a cute little love ballad, but every time I listen to it now I just imagine the heart attack Rose must’ve had at the line “And if we look out of place/Well, baby, that's okay/I'll drive us into outer space.” like there’s a Vietnam war flashback if I ever heard one

24.) What Can I Do?

I’m kind of neutral on this one? Rose and Greg both have great voices, but the song itself lacks many lyrics. I think it was definitely a good way to show Rose’s flaws in thinking.

Also, I’m shocked they managed cram that much vaguely sexual innuendo into two minutes, followed by how Not Hetereo that dance between Rose and Pearl was, and not get their asses chewed by it. You go guys.

25.) Cookie Cat

I love a lot of the vibes this song has. The lyrics are so damn prophetic, but they also sound like the kind of weird 90s commercials I grew up on. It’s been like two decades since I saw the Shirley Temple commercial but I’ll be damned if I don’t remember “Animals crackers in my soup! Monkey and rabbits loop-de-loop.”

26.) Giant Woman

I am. NOT the biggest fan of Steven’s original singing voice. I feel bad saying that, since it was just Zach Callison as a kid, but he never jived well with me for some reason. So I wouldn’t listen to this on the fly. 

The song itself is still really good though, with all sorts of fun animation of Amethyst and Pearl being bitchy to each other. It’s a bit sad in hindsight to see tiny Steven trying to get his moms to get along. Ahh, season 1.

27.) Strong in the Real Way

This song has SUCH a strong start. Pearl reflecting on Sugilite’s problems, but the show making sure to show us that Pearl’s lack of enthusiasm towards her also lends itself to jealousy as well as just general malaise. How much she cares about Steven, and wants him to grow up strong. 

And then Steven just kinda. Ruins it? I appreciate his enthusiasm for tryna bulk up but to take what was starting as such a rich, personal song and broadcasting it to random strangers just makes me a bit sad. Almost a bit angry on her behalf?

28.) That Distant Shore

I KNOW this is gonna create some discourse, but I’m just not the biggest Lapis stan. I love her voice. I love the visuals of the song. And I get why she felt afraid and needed to flee.

But Lapis never got to take responsibility for her own actions. And, in the end, the song feels hollow to me- because we all know she’ll never talk to anyone about it, know she’ll burst back in and destroy the barn, and no one will ever question it. I like Lapis a lot, but I feel like her arc never was fully finished. She never got help. She never learned to feel safe.

29.) Dear Old Dad

I’ve yet to meet a single human being who likes this episode tbh. There’s some great discussion about what kind of parent Greg is from it, and what kind of dynamic he has with the Gems that he felt he had to fake an injury to hang out with his son. Honestly the first half was fine and dandy. It’s just that then they Greg just went out of his way to drag Steven away from missions and such. It never jived well with his character before or after.

Also, is it just me, or does Zach himself sound like he hates the song as he sings it? There’s no passion or heart in his voice. It sounds like they told him to read off cue cards and he did. Tom Scharpling’s best attempts didn’t save this one for being a skipper. But the episode, unfortunately, isn’t, so it gets a spot on here.

[lumosinlove]

Between Fifth And You

AO3

chapter two

~

It’s Saturday night for Manhattan’s elite, and we know what that means. The Noble House of Black beckons, and one particularly family seems to be a little behind on preparations—at least, their youngest son is.

Spotted—Logan Tremblay, looking hot in nothing but basketball shorts. Better soak up that fading blue August heat while you can, Lo. Or are you more interested in something a little more…fiery? But in the LES? Why so far from home, Dorothy? Eye color isn’t the only thing green about the Tremblay family. And they have a bad habit of sorting everything out with a little help from Ben Franklin.

“Shoot, shoot!”

Logan pivoted on his heel and was able to toss the ball around his opponent’s shoulder. He only caught a glimpse of red hair as Finn caught it with ease and jumped it up to the rim.

Finn O’Hara. One of these days Logan was going to step on his own shoes watching Finn O’Hara. His pale chest looked like sugar dusting, his exertion-red cheeks the goddamn cherry.

“Point moo-oi!” Finn shouted, slapping Will Morgan and Percy Marshall on their bare backs. “That’s how you say it, right, Tremblay?”

Logan feigned a shudder. “Non.”

“Shorty’s got game,” Will laughed, sweat dripping down his dark brown skin, darkening the leather bracelets he wore.

Percy shook his head, swallowing over a caught-breath, his silver Star of David swinging at his throat. “Shorty must be cheating with his Upper Side shoes.”

Logan just narrowed his eyes and laughed, pushing his hair out of his eyes. “You’re just tall. Doesn’t mean you’re good.”

“Yeah, yeah, Mazel tov, you fucker.”

“I’m finally winning,” Finn grinned. “And now I gotta get back to the shop. I said be back in five…pretty sure it’s been fifty-five.”

Logan swallowed. “I’ll—I’ll walk you.”

Percy slapped him on the back as they left, and Finn held the cage door of the basketball court open for him.

“So, you’re back at school?” Finn asked as he pulled his shirt on. Logan nodded, following suit, picking at the neck where it stuck to his sweaty skin.

“Yeah,” Logan nodded. “I’m supposed to be getting fitted for a suit right now.”

Finn snorted. “What does that have to do with school?”

“Oh,” the corner of Logan’s mouth raised as he realized. “Nothing, I…well, you know. The social scene. It sort of all feels like one thing, up there.”

Finn pouted at him. “Poor baby. Too many parties.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Logan laughed.

“Hey, feel like lunch?”

“I thought you had to be back.”

Finn shrugged. “I’m hungry.”

Logan bit his lip, wondering how many different ways his older sisters could actually kill him. Honestly, he thought he’d just die on the spot of he passed up the change to be squeezed into one of the small restaurants that Finn frequented. Screw the grand tables of his life. Logan wanted cracked leather booths small enough to let their ankles brush. Not that he’d ever say that out loud.

Finn didn’t disappoint. They walked down the shade of Mott street, then turned at a bakeshop on the corner. Finn pointed at it.

“You’ve been here, haven’t you?”

Logan raised a shoulder. “I don’t get down here much.”

Finn snorted. “Listen to you. Down here. You’re down here enough to pop into my bookstore all the time.”

Logan studied the cakes in the windows, biting his lip when he realized Finn’s eyes were still on him in the reflection. “I…yeah.”

Finn flicked the bill of Logan’s hat which shaded the back of his neck. “How’s that latest book you bought?”

Logan turned away from the window to get them walking again, not sure where they were going but trusting Finn to lead. “I’m starting school, man, I don’t have all the time in the world.”

Finn just laughed. “Come on, let’s catch the 6.”

Logan found himself squeezed into a tiny French restaurant in the West Village that served them even tinier croissants.

“I know the chef,” Finn said popping one he had spread jam and butter on into his mouth. “Dumo. Don’t pay a cent. I fucking love these things.”

Logan would have bought Finn a thousand of the tiny pastries without a blink just to see him lick a bit of jam from his thumb again.

“Dumo doesn’t sound very French…” Logan began cutting up his waffle.

Finn laughed. “Pascal Dumais does.”

“Oh. Yeah, that’s more like it.”

Logan glanced at a woman and her baby, who had started crying. He tried to think of something to say. For someone who’s job seemed to be making small talk at various parties and charming people with his accent—or so his mother sometimes said—he sure was horrible at it.

“So, what’s the suit for?” Finn asked, taking a sip of his black coffee.

“A fashion show,” Logan sighed, hiding his surprise—and maybe delight—at Finn’s unknowing shrug. “It’s…sort of a lot. Lots of people and cameras. And I always have to wear something green.”

Finn hummed in understanding. “It’s the eyes, yeah?”

Logan nodded. “A lot of fast English, too.”

Finn tilted his head. “I didn’t know that was hard for you. You’re perfect.”

Logan tried not to flush and covered it with a shrug. “I lived in France until I was fifteen before we finally moved to my dad. It’s still nice to be able to read lips sometimes. With the flashes and they make it super dark…I don’t know.”

“No, that makes sense,” Finn said, brown eyes soft. He smiled. “Hey, well, if you don’t want to go to the fitting, come man the shop with me. I’d love the company.”

Logan looked at him and ached, but saw his older sister Noelle’s pleading, excited expression in his mind. He might not love the scene, but he loved his sisters. “I wish I could. Really.”

They finished up their food and Logan had to admit that he lingered over his coffee until Finn said he absolutely had to leave.

“Hey, Tremblay,” Finn called from down the sidewalk, and Logan turned in the full knowledge that seeing the smile Finn sent him would only make him want to stay more.

The dutiful son wants the bookshop boy…I don’t know, Lo. How will their royal highnesses feel about that?

“Come buy more books you don’t read soon, okay?”

Logan couldn’t help but smile back. “D’accord.”

Finn walked backwards a few steps, yelling, “And bring me something green!” before turning and jogging down the subway stairs.

Logan laughed as he called his driver to him, escaping the heat for air conditioned leather.

XOXO

Pearls or diamonds, Upper Siders? Armani or Ralph? What, like you have other questions tonight?

Well, I have one for you. A tip from a friendly scroller gave me a peak at tonight’s guest list. Do you think we’re in for more than just a showdown on the runway? Cat fights over cat walks is what I always say.

XOXO.

[Image description: Two name cards reading, from left to right, Leo Knut and Remus Lupin, Sirius Black and Sebastian Montague]

Remus found Julian already dressed and tapping at a game on his phone when he descended the winding staircase of their penthouse.

“You waiting for mom and dad?” Remus said, dropping a kiss to the top of his head.

“And you,” Julian said.

“Right, right,” Remus smoothed his black tuxedo, trying to ignore the subtle glint of blue-silver embroidered into the black velvet. His mother was a planner—which Remus liked usually—but this design had not aged well. This suit had a twin that it no longer belonged with. Remus clenched his jaw as he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. He’d hoped wearing it would feel like defiance.

But it only felt like he was lonely. He gave his head a hard shake. He had Leo. He couldn’t let New York throw him.

“Gossip Girl’s going crazy. Of course,” Julian said.

“Jules, you shouldn’t read that stuff,” Remus sighed. “It’s just gossip—”

“Just posted about Sirius,” Julian murmured.

Remus huffed, pushing his hair out of its too neat style in the mirror. “So?”

Julian shrugged, but pointedly looked away when Remus took out his own phone.

The photo looked like one from the paparazzi, but the sight of Sirius on the red carpet made Remus’ throat close up.

I spy a statement piece. Or maybe it’s just a statement. Sirius Black arrives on the red carpet—or should I say black carpet—with none other than New York’s favorite icon, in worship and fashion alike. The Saint of these streets is looking particularly dashing tonight, hand in hand with the heir of this city. Ouch, Re. Looks like you’ve been dethroned.

Remus stared down at the screen, neck hot. Sirius’ suit sleeves had the barely there leather half moon cut-outs that Remus remembered tracing onto his skin.

Sirius had smiled into their kiss. Think anyone will notice?

Remus had just laughed. Everyone will notice.

But there was Saint, a crown of moonstones in his golden hair.

Remus looked down at his own suit. Of course Saint had thought of a way they’d match, that was all it was, but it still felt like a snub.

“I sort of miss him,” Julian said quietly.

Remus’ heart pulled. He swallowed and clicked his phone off. He looked at Julian, who looked almost sheepish.

“Do you?” Julian asked even more quietly.

“Don’t you like Leo?” Remus asked.

“Of course,” Julian nodded quickly. “But…”

“Remus,” Hope smiled, coming down the stairs arm-in-arm with their father. “Jules. Ready, boys?”

Remus didn’t think saying no was an option. He cleared his throat, pushed his hair back.

“Almost,” he said, backtracking towards the stairs. “Just a second. Gotta call Leo, make sure he hasn’t left yet.”

XOXO

“We can watch a livestream of the red carpet and the show,” Natalie said. “Sit.”

Finn groaned, squished beside Natalie on her tiny sofa. “That feels like I’m stalking him.”

“We’re allowed to stalk the boys we like.”

“You’re dating my brother, Nat. Does this mean you stalked him?”

“It really does,” Alex said, coming in from the kitchen with their margaritas and dropping a kiss to Natalie’s temple.

“Hm,” Natalie smiled up at him, accepting a kiss to her lips. “Scruffy.”

Finn sighed and pulled a knee up to his chest, watching the loading video Natalie had pulled up.

“Your wifi sucks,” he mumbled.

“It’ll load,” Natalie scooted over for Alex and passed Finn his drink.

“Salsa, too,” Finn said, waving it over.

Finally, the video popped up to a view of the red carpet.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Alex said.

“Be nice,” Natalie laughed. “It’s fashion!”

“Look,” Alex sighed. “I know they’re wealthy and it’s suppose to be all, I don’t know sandy beaches and wristwatches, but not a single one of these people look remotely happy. Like take a look at this guy—“

Finn looked over the sandy-haired man posing in front of the cameras—well, not posing, really. Kasey Winter, the commentators were saying.

“Nice hair,” Natalie crunched on a chip. “And listen to that, his mother’s one of the biggest producers at Weird Sisters Records.”

“Fine, but he looks like he’s ready to kill someone. I mean, anyone else think its kind of fucked up that the New York families go to a New York university where New York businesses draw from New York’s elite?”

“Yes,” Finn and Natalie said in unison.

And then there was Logan.

Finn let out an embarrassing sound and set his drink down, leaning forward.

Logan walked out in front of the cameras with three girls—his sisters, Finn remembered. Not to mention he followed all of them on Instagram. They had a lot of shoes, sure, but they seemed all right.

“I saw this thing on Gossip Girl about one of the sisters,” Natalie said. “She—”

“Nat, why the hell do you read that?”

Natalie shot him a look. “Like you don’t.”

Finn ignored them, too focused on the dark, nearly black, velvety green cape—or was it cloak?—that covered Logan’s shoulders down to above his elbows, falling to an elegant point at the small of his back over his black suit. The sisters had a similar get-up in one way or another—a green train, a shawl, a corset. Logan’s clasp was a silver fleur-de-lis.

“Green,” Finn breathed.

“What?” Alex asked.

Finn bit the inside of his cheek at Logan’s expression. It was meant to be blank, Finn thought, at-ease and untouchable, but it came off almost enticing. His dark eyelashes swept against his cheeks. Finn watched his throat bob around a swallow, his adored eyes shifting from flash to flash.

“Nothing,” Finn answered his brother.

“How’d you meet this kid anyway, Fish?” his brother asked.

“I was closing up shop about a month ago,” Finn said. “And he stopped at one of our windows. Looked like he’d run the entire island, he was breathing so hard. Not to mention it was pouring like nothing else. Thought he was gonna pass out, so I unlocked the door and let him in to get dry. I don’t know, he was kind of shy at first. Listened to me talk for about an hour before he started giving anything back.” Finn shrugged, watching Logan walk off screen. “I invite him to play basketball with me, Morg, and Percy now. We get lunch after sometimes.”

Natalie sighed. “He looked like one unhappy camper.”

“I think his family puts a lot of pressure on him. He’s the baby. Only son. All that bullshit.”

“I kind of want that cape,” Natalie said.

Alex sighed. “That’s the idea.”

Natalie slapped his chest, then kissed his cheek, and Finn watched Logan walk off-screen.

XOXO

“What say you, Capulet?”

Sirius looked down at Saint at his shoulder. “They’re out of crab puffs.”

“Boo,” Saint said. “You still closing the show?”

“Yep.”

“Shouldn’t you be in hair and makeup?”

“Yep.”

Saint stepped in front of him, the gold band of moonstones nestled in his curls glinting in the dark stage lights. “Looking for someone?”

Sirius just reached out and ran a gentle thumbnail beneath where Saint’s golden eyeliner had smudged against his brown skin, striking it back to a point. “Nope. See you after the show.”

Saint clucked his tongue. “I’m unimpressed.”

“What else is new?” Sirius said.

Saint went to smile, when his eyes flickered behind Sirius and he raised his eyebrows. “That.”

Sirius turned around, and quickly schooled his expression. The cameras were going wild, and in front of all the flashing lights was Remus, hand-in-hand with Leo Knut.

“They make a sunshine pair,” Saint said from beside him. “How’re you feeling?”

Sirius touched two fingers to one of the black-leather moons on his jacket sleeve. They were meant to go with Remus’ stars. He remembered planning for them. He’d thought…part of him had thought if he’d worn them tonight—

“Cloudy sky,” he replied to Saint.

“I was gonna say dappled sunlight in…” Saint glanced around. “A dark forest.”

Remus and Leo were wearing dress shirts, collars rumpled and unbuttoned at their throats, each in a smooth shade of cream. Their hands, decked out in golden rings, were laced together, and they both wore pale gray slacks, slim cut, and laceless nikes.

My mistress’ eyes are nothing like the sun…hmm, but don’t I spy some burning jealous?

“What are we going for here,” Saint raised an eyebrow. “Left in a hurry and didn’t get the dress code?”

“We’re going against me,” Sirius replied, slipping his hands into his pockets and trying to stand straight. “That’s all.”

“Sunlight in a dark forest, indeed.”

Sirius watched them looking out over the flashes, and tried not to look surprised when golden eyes met his own. Remus’ expression didn’t change either. Instead, he simply blinked, then looked away. Leo, tall and lean, leaned into his ear, and Remus smiled. The cameras popped like champagne.

I love right here, Sirius remembered his own voice, the feeling of the soft skin by Remus’ eye beneath his thumb. I love right here when you smile.

“I need to get backstage,” Sirius said shortly, and turned on his heel.

“I’ll be watching.”

“Don’t I know,” Sirius called as he weaved his way through the crowd, heading backstage. The woman with a radio in her ear looked annoyed and nervous when he slipped past her, and radioed that he had arrived to whoever it was that needed to know.

“Sirius!” Alice called, hands full of makeup brushes and up in the air. “Jesus Christ, do you think I have all fucking night?”

Sirius shrugged out of his red carpet jacket—which someone took—and slid into her chair. “Sorry, Al.”

She twirled a protective cape around his shoulders, snapping it at the base of his neck. “It’s a good thing you’re pretty. But then again, I think everyone’s pretty.”

Sirius closed his eyes, letting her begin. “People are.”

Alice had just finished contour when Sirius all but felt his mother’s presence. A shift in the air. A cooler wind. People standing up straighter and shivering.  

“Sirius,” his mother’s face appeared in the mirror. Her red lipstick was the brightest thing about her, and even that was almost mauve. Her dress was tight around her breasts, but cascaded in thick waves of velvet behind her, and she wore tall leather boots. It almost looked like armor. “You’re very late, darling.”

“Sorry,” Sirius said. “Saint and I got caught up in the crowd, I guess.”

She hummed. “You two looked fetching out there. He’s much more pleasing than that other boy ever was. His family is important, too.”

It was true, that his mother had never liked Remus much. Though, Sirius couldn’t compare him and Saint. They were two different oceans.

“Get dressed,” his mother breathed, and was already snapping her fingers at one of the other models before Sirius could say another word.

“All right?” Alice asked him quietly.

Sirius looked at himself in the mirror. Her contour made his face look almost gaunt, as was the general makeup for all of the models, and he knew he’d be given dark eye makeup next, his hair fluffed into perfect curls.

“Fine,” Sirius said, and closed his eyes to let her work.

Sirius was shrugging into his given outfit—a billowing longcoat, 20th century in fashion, and a longer tunic made almost entirely of the thinnest black silk. It would shimmer when he walked, he knew, and his tall, lace-up boots, the flat sole so thin and delicate that he almost felt barefoot, would disappear beneath the shimmer. His mother was cold, stubborn, and cruel sometimes, an unfeeling, yawning sort of dark, but she was talented.

“Lord Vader,” came a voice from behind him, and Sirius laughed even before he turned to face Thomas Walker.

“Sounds about right,” Sirius said, and they clasped hands, pulling them into a one-armed hug. “You look fantastic, though.”

Thomas spun slowly on his heel, letting the long, loose fitting white linen of his button-down—which went out in two, tuxedo-like tails at his back—flare out above his slim, black trousers. He wore a thin scarf of distressed wool.

“Like a fallen gentleman, no?” Thomas grinned. “I might try and steal these pants. And maybe the shirt for Noelle.”

“Oh, yeah,” Sirius smiled, spying Noelle’s green eyes behind his shoulder. “She’ll love that.”

Noelle wrapped her arms, which were draped in a transparent green cloth, around Thomas’ waist. “Thanks for thinking of me, T baby.”

Thomas laughed in surprise. “Who let you back stage?”

“I’m a Tremblay, they’ll let us in anywhere.”

Thomas turned his head to capture Noelle in a soft kiss.

“See you after, hm?” Noelle said. “I’m gonna go say hi to my friend, she’s walking tonight, too.”

“Yeah, we’ll ride to Honeyduke’s together.”

Noelle raised an eyebrow at him. “You coming, Black?”

“Saint all but owns the place,” Sirius said. “Of course I am.”

Sirius walked. He didn’t look down, or hear the cameras. It wasn’t his favorite thing in the world, to be up here, not able to see past the lights—but something tonight was different. It felt as it had the night of his and Remus’ first kiss.

In that show, he had had one, thin line of black lipstick traced over the center of his bottom lip. It had marked Remus’ throat and cheeks like soot by the end of it all.

Remus had been waiting for him back stage.

“Come here,” Remus had whispered, and laced their fingers together.

“Where?” Sirius had answered, surprised by their palms pressing together.

But it hadn’t been a place. Remus had pressed them back in between clothing racks, and crashed their mouths together.

Here, Remus had whispered, and kissed him again.

Sirius felt the absence of the stage lights like a wash of cold air, and he stretched out his back, letting his stony face drop a little. He glanced around, but there was no one to be found. His cheeks were warm just thinking about it.

“Good,” his mother said as he passed her by to take off the makeup, and that was all.

XOXO

Saint looked across Honeyduke’s and felt like it was his. Logan was laughing with Thomas and Noelle, and he had Kasey Winter beside him, securing tickets to one of their favorite bands to see together.

“Done,” Kasey said, and flashed one of his rare smiles.

“I knew you were my favorite,” Saint took a sip of his drink, and Kasey scoffed.

“Me or my mom?”

“Maybe a little of both. Oh, and we’re going to sushi beforehand.”

Kasey’s smile was larger now. “Wouldn’t have it any other way. You gonna leave with that drummer again? What’s her name?”

Saint smiled. “Oh, Sally. And I make it a habit to always leave with the drummer.”

Kasey just shook his head. “Yeah, yeah. I’m getting a drink and leaving you to your one-liners.”

Saint watched him go, feeling settled, and set about scanning the room for Sirius. He was sure he’d know if he was there—people tended to swarm to Sirius, even if he didn’t ask for it. It was part of the reason they were so close. People flocked to Saint, too. So, they asked for each other’s company. A more intimate, calm part of life. Sirius was quiet. Saint wasn’t, but he let Saint , for a moment, be that way, too. Saint was loud. Sirius wasn’t, but Saint had his ways to fire him up.

“Another drink, sir?”

Saint looked over his shoulder, only to turn all the way around, interest peaked. The bartender had sandy hair, and a strong jaw, his cheeks textured by acne scars in some places. He had brown eyes—save for a sliver of green in one.

“Only if you have one with me,” Saint said, and glanced down at his name-tag. “Luke.”

Luke arched an eyebrow, pressing the heels of his palms onto the bar between them, revealing rolled up sleeves and some type of vine tattoo, wrapping all around both of his forearms.

“I’m working, sir.”

“Is that a later?” he nodded at the tattoo. “Nice.”

“I don’t think so,” Luke said.

“Oh, no?”

Luke scowled—how did he look so handsome doing that?

“Do you make it a habit to go home with all the waiters, too?”

Saint didn’t let his expression flicker, just smiled nice and slow.

“Hillrock,” Saint said. “Neat.”

The barkeep turned away.

Ouch. Looks like not everyone worships at your alter, Saint.

XOXO

The elevator doors opened, revealing the party to Sirius one outfit after the next. He had changed for the afterparty—the first of three. He wore a tight, thin black t-shirt and dark jeans. He hadn’t bothered to wash off the dark, smudged eyeliner from the show. His combat boots went up to just below his knee, and had the same nearly naked feeling sole. It made him feel soundless, like a shadow.

Maybe that’s why it was easy to find Remus and stand beside him without him stirring.

“You’re a little underdressed,” Sirius said without looking at him.

“Says the boy wearing a t-shirt,” Remus replied evenly.

Sirius scowled. “I meant at the show.”

“People like to be surprised,” Remus replied evenly.

“Who’s Leo?”

“My boyfriend.”

Sirius turned towards him. “You didn’t tell me you were coming home.”

Remus matched him. They were nearly chest to chest. “You didn’t say a word to me in class.”

“You didn’t—“

“I had the last word,” Remus snapped. “I figured maybe you’d finally have something to say back.”

Sirius stared at him, heart pounding in his ears. For a moment, he let himself look. At the golden eyes, hair more blond than ever from the summer’s sun. Sirius couldn’t stand that mouth set in a frown.

“Guess not,” Remus said softly, lips dropping open in the way they used to before they kissed.

Sirius all but felt him vanish into the writhing crowd.

XOXO

Finn looked up when a flash of color on the morning-silent street outside caught his eye. He set the books he was holding down, took the pen out from between his teeth.

Green.

“What the hell?” Finn laughed as he pulled open the door to his bookshop to find Logan standing there. “It’s five in the fucking morning, what are you doing here? Couldn’t sleep?”

“Never did,” Logan said, and that’s when Finn saw that Logan was still in his suit from the livestream.

“Ah, I see,” Finn said, eyes flicking up and down his broad form. He swallowed dryly. “The nature of afterparties, I suppose. Well, you—you look good. For someone who’s been up all night, I mean.”

Logan just smiled, one of his small, secretive ones. Finn watched as he stepped forward so they were almost toe to toe in the doorway.

“Wh…” Finn’s voice dropped off with a breathless laugh. He couldn’t help but look at Logan’s mouth. His full lips that could speak a language Finn couldn’t even begin to describe.

Logan just reached up to the base of his own throat and unclipped the fleur-de-lis clasp there. In one smooth swoop, he drew his short cloak from his shoulders and around Finn’s, right over his worn gray t-shirt, clicking it in place. The fabric brought a gentle scent, and he figured it must be Logan’s cologne.

“Something green,” Logan said softly. A warm, early morning breeze ruffled his hair, pushing the curls forward. Finn couldn’t move. “What are you doing here?”

“Inventory,” Finn whispered, then cleared his throat. “Inventory.”

“Okay,” Logan said. “I’ll help.”

[rich-and-bitchy-is-my-type]

I’m already writing chapter 4 of In Spite Of Me but I decided to take a small break, so… in the meantime, here are some more Bee hcs!

🐝 She is mixed! She’s hispanic-american, her mother is white and indigenous and her father is half black. They both have hispanic roots, her mother was born in Colombia and moved to the US when she was a teenager; her father is of Puerto Rican descent but was born in america.

🐝 She is fluent in both english and spanish. She swears she can also speak Italian and French, but she truly can’t (despite having taken classes for both languages)

🐝 She’s the second youngest amongst four sisters. Her oldest sister, Vanessa, is 29. June is 27 and Luna is 17.

🐝 She is 5’9 and aprox 145-147 lbs.

🐝 She played basketball and volleyball in high school! She was pretty good at both sports.

🐝 She is crazy popular back at Farmsville. She won homecoming queen, winter formal queen, prom queen… safe to say, she’s used to being the most popular kid at school.

🐝 The main difference between her and Poppy was feared while Bee was liked by everyone.

🐝 She is SO bad with social media. She basically has no concept of how themes and aesthetics work. She used to post whatever she thought was cool until she met Zoey (she’s pretty much her social media manager now).

🐝Her secret talent is shotgunning beer. She also does an impressive keg stand. She’s basically the girl equivalent of a frat boy minus the sexist comments.

🐝That’s also why she gets along really well with the Alphas. Carter and her are actually pretty good friends.

🐝 She’s actually a pretty good singer, but she doesn’t like to say it. Her sisters and her used to sing together when they were children, so it’s somewhat special to her. She kept it a secret because she was a little scared of people in Belvoire finding out and somehow using it against her.

🐝 She can tolerate pretty much anything and take it as a joke, but she draws the line when people make fun of her family.

🐝 She is actually a mediocre driver. She’s strangely super lucky, and that’s the whole reason why she always finds good parking spots because she really can’t do parallel parking.

🐝 Zoey makes fun of her for her old people music taste. She mostly listens to 70s-80s music but she’s learning to branch out now that Zoey has forced convinced her.

🐝 Her handwriting is literally so messy! Zoey says it’s barely legible even though Bee swears it’s completely readable. *She* is a very messy person in general, her handwriting only reflects it.

🐝She bites her nails when she’s nervous. It completely ruins her new “hot & rich” look but she literally can’t stop doing it.

🐝She’s a huge horror movie fan. It doesn’t even have to be a good movie as long as its bloody enough. She especially loves 80s slasher films.

🐝Absolutely loves flirting and isn’t really used to being in committed relationships, but she isn’t the type to cheat. When she falls for someone, she falls hard.

🐝She can’t really do her own makeup unless she’s following some kind of tutorial or practiced the same look over and over again. She has basically no creativity when it comes to it.

🐝Not surprising at all, but she’s actually pretty strong. She can pick Poppy up easily and actually does it when she starts acting annoying. It’s her way of telling her “shut the hell up”.

🐝Unironically owns a shirt that says “fish fear me, women want me”.

🐝Big fan of caps and crop tops. If it were up to her, she wouldn’t wear anything else.

🐝Can be a little too cynical sometimes. Has a bit of a superior complex and is constantly judging people in her mind, but she’s never openly mean about it.

🐝Doesn’t know how to text without adding a bunch of cringey emojis. She’ll either sound like a middle aged mom or (again) a wannabe frat boy.

[sweetsoundsofignorance]

For the writing asks! 4, 17, 24 and 26 🖤

i'm going to limit most answers to fic.

4. What’s a word that makes you go absolutely feral?

It’s a word you often use, scuttle, but not feral in a bad way. Somehow the word evokes something predatory in me, like the need to pounce.

Also, apoplectic.

17. Talk to me about the minutiae of your current WIP. Tell me about the lore, the history, the detail, the things that won’t make it in the text.

I guess I’ll talk about the one I’m currently posting? Only good things happen here started as a joke between you and me while we were slogging our way through the drivel that was season five of Riverdale.

Betty seemed very (sexually) repressed and always looked like she was itching to do violence, but the writers NEVER LET HER. They put a chainsaw in her hands, and then blue-balled us. Only good things happen here begins during the key party (they couldn’t have made it more boring, I agree), so at the time, Betty was only in a friend with benefits type situation with Archie (if I remember correctly?), but she still seemed pent-up, and she clearly hadn’t processed (good luck doing that with Archie) what happened with TBK (trash-bag-killer… god, grant me the serenity…). From where I was sitting, Betty seemed on the threshold of a psychotic break for the entirety of season five, so B was due.

And Jughead was such a sad and pathetic little meow meow who is also probably going through a dry spell (which I’ve seen is one current running theory in fandom, lol). I theorize that may be because he idealizes his relationship with Tabitha and/or he has severe sexual hang-ups from his toxic and hateful relationship with Jessica as well as his breakup with Betty, where she cheated on him with his best friend. I mean, that entire hallucinogen in the bunker suggested he is dealing with some larger issues sexually, in my opinion, especially since in his fantasy, it was high school Betty (still weird) and they talked about forgiveness. Also, he’s an alcoholic, and we all know how that can affect one’s sex drive, and he’s dealing with writer’s block, which is a blow to his ego. Idk, Jughead appeared to have lost his entire sense of self-agency in season five.

Anyway, clearly it seemed like these two were headed toward an explosion (I realize the irony of that now; in this story, it is not a literal explosion...)

Riverdale likes to pussy-foot around its darkness, and I’m predisposed to just pushing characters off the deep-end, so this story is one possible trajectory for season five that you were kind (crazy 🖤) enough to encourage me to write. I know it is a fucked-up way for both Betty and Jughead to process their trauma, sure, but I felt placing Jughead in a pit, and Betty by proxy, would create this sense of inescapable claustrophobia where they would have to confront and reconcile with the worst parts of themselves. There will be a ton of self-reflection, a lot of nastiness and resentment and trading barbs between the two, which will end with an explosion but also (hopefully) some cathartic self-actualization. This all feels very serious, but it is also supposed to be darkly humorous because it’s sassy little bitch Jughead up against a sadistic and psychotic Betty.

Crap, did I give it all away? I mean, I hope it was obvious based on the premise and the first chapter?

24. How much prep work do you put into your stories? What does that look like for you? Do you enjoy this part or do you just want to get on with it?

If you mean research, shit all. I often forgo prep work because most of my stories don’t require it. If it’s a period piece, I rarely go back farther than the 80s, so it’s pretty easy to pull enough period-perfect details because I’m more comfortable with those decades, especially pop-culture wise.

The only story that's required a lot of footwork is the cult fic, and that’s why it’s taking soooooo long because it necessitates more research, but it’s important to me that I get it right, the psychology, the methods of indoctrination, the process of deprogramming. This looks like a lot of reading (memoirs, fiction, philosophy, nonfiction) and documentaries. I’m dipping into books on the occult and pagan Christianity to develop the cult’s mythologies. I enjoy it because who doesn’t love learning new things, but I also just really want to get on with it orz.

26. How do you get into your character’s head? How do you get out? Do you ever regret going in there in the first place?

I don’t know? I just sit with it. Music helps a lot. I’ll start with an action, whatever plot point, usually initiated by an antagonist, and then I imagine what emotion that might invoke in whatever character, the potential succession of emotions and predict the reactions and downstream consequences and how it snowballs from there. I never write it down, though, which I think counts as a demerit in my organization column, but it sort of looks like a flowchart in my head. I stew with the character in question, whatever traits I’ve given them, usually piecemeal aspects from canon, whichever ones I’ve chosen to amplify, and that helps dictate the flow of emotions and reactions, hence flowchart.

I struggle to get out. It’s why my stories often get away from me. You know how tumbleweeds eventually end up joining with other tumbleweeds and creating this gigantic tumbleweed that then piles up against an obstacle? But the tumbleweeds don’t stop, and they just keep piling on top of each other. You’ll see heaps of them accumulated against fences in empty lots. Idk, that’s the mental image I get, just a pile of tumbleweeds, and those fuckers are thorny, so sometimes there is much regret, me climbing over tumbleweeds to scale the obstacle, which is of course the exit out of the story.

I’ve explored some very dark topics in the devil’s daughter, delved into some psychologies that are immensely painful. It’s why sometimes I have to step away from it, if it starts infecting my day-to-day. It’s also why I struggle to respond to comments, especially right now, because just thinking about the ending makes me start ugly sobbing.

Thank you for asking 🖤🖤🖤 (remember tit for tat 😈)

[back2themax]

Ranting about The Shining(1980) as a adaptation-

So let me say this first. I don’t think it’s a bad movie, hell is great at what it is trying to be! It is good, purely from a horror movie standpoint. As a adaptation of the book? It is absolutely shit.

What the movie succeeds in-

I’m going to start with being nice. So I used to love this film a whole lot more before I actually read the book. As there is some fantastic elements to it. The score, the sound itself is fantastic and greatly adds to that  unnerving feeling you get. Especially when it comes to the high pitched buzz used for the shine itself. The camera work! The shots in this film are great, very  atmospheric. It also helps in giving that cabin fever feel, everything in the hotel is so huge compared to the torrences and yet you still feel like your confided to a small space. Now, Jack Nickerson is not a good Jack Torrance BUT he is good as a crazy man.... it feels like he would work better as the embodiment of the hotel itself then the father.

Severe loss of  character-

The movie  pacifically ruins Jack and Dick. there is no benefit to wendy or Danny either but it isn’t as severe a drop in quality from the complex  characters in the book.

Jack-

So the movie makes It so so unclear what’s actually happening to this man. In the book, Jack is the recovering alcoholic father who had recently lost his job at a rather good school. He has sworn off drinking after two key events. Breaking his sons arm years ago , and the drunken night drove. In the book it is clear who and what Jack is. It is clear how much he truly loves his wife and son, how much he has been trying to rebuild Long lost trust and save the family by taking this job. He is a intelligent f man with a weakness the hotel can exploit. His decent is slow but typically he can be talked back to reality by his wife or by their son. The hotel slowly chips away his sanity by using his trama and addiction against him so that it can completely take him over in the final act, Jack Torrance is gone.

In the movie the hotel barely has to shove him and this man walks willingly into its arms. There’s no struggle,no real coaxing or conflict, the hotel does and he believes. Hell! He doesn’t even go to check on his son seeing the bruising on his neck! He doesn’t even seam concerned! While Jack in the book does indeed get pissy as this could completely ruin him AND THE FAMILY- he always puts Danny first. Danny is another thing. The boy adores his father, he’s a daddy’s boy. He loves this man so deeply, and yet we don’t get that. Even normal he seams terrified of the man! Not to mention in the book Jack is- a actual father like hello he’s actually present.

There is two moments they give with him that I actually like, that give him actual charecter

1- When Wendy brings him breakfast the one day it’s actually kind of a cute moment.

2- when he had the nightmare about hurting them, and actual expresses terror over hurting his family

Jack is such a complex and interesting charecter that you can both feel sorry for and angry at the same time... the movie strips all of this away from him and makes him this temper tantrum buffoon.

Dick-

Part of me wondered why the movie would even bring him back at all. They turned him into a plot device purely to get the other snowcat. In the book he holds a much larger role, becoming good friends with Danny and explaining a whole lot more about the shine and expressing where he shouldn’t go. In the late half he is a huge reason in why Wendy’s even alive! See in the book it’s not just a chase scene, they actually get hurt! Wendy is barely able to shamble, Half of dicks body is ruined and poor Danny is freezing. He plays such a huge role and is almost a secondary father figure to Danny. To just kill him is a insult.

Wendy-

So besides her hair not being blond and her robe not being pink there’s mainly minor changes with her. I think she was actually done the best out of everyone. However they did make her a lot more whiney then in the book... but I actually think this is more playing off Jack’s warped  perspective! As she’s nothing but caring and loving and frankly worried for the two boys in her life. Honestly Wendy is always perfect smh. I honestly think Shelly is the perfect Wendy, if the script would have been better I would have loved her even more.

Danny? Danny is a cardboard cut out. Really didn’t give this kid a thing did you.

Weird changes-

There’s a great amount of plot points and symbolism lost to the movie. Especially with the Whasps. Which is a MAJOR event, one of the first things that begins to unravel everything. Not to mention how they carry a theme though the rest of the book. Also the sort of reflection of the worst things from your parents. Jack sharing things and taking on the mannerisms of his abusive father when possessed, Wendy sharing traits with her horrible mother, Danny reflecting both his parents at times.

Hedge animals to a hedge maze? Which ends up doing very little.

217 becomes 237 with added unnessasary bad Jack

The Grady girls and the blood elevator??(the dog man part is actually in the book, no I’m not kidding)

Etc

Just over all it’s a massive headache I don’t mean to be one of those “the book is better” people but the book is better

[laequiem]

No tricks, only treats [ONESHOT]

/ Cardan and Jude join the rest of the family to enjoy Halloween in the Mortal World.

Part of Tales from the Mortal Realm, a collection of random moments in the lives of the Queen and King of Elfhame.

"Is it strange that I find you attractive dressed as such?"

I was looking at myself in the mirror, assessing my outfit, when Cardan sneaked into the room. His training with The Ghost was paying off, he was as silent as ever.

"Strange? Yes. Surprising? No."

Read it on ao3

"Is it strange that I find you attractive dressed as such?"

I was looking at myself in the mirror, assessing my outfit, when Cardan sneaked into the room. His training with The Ghost was paying off, he was as silent as ever.

"Strange? Yes. Surprising? No."

I saw him prowl towards me through the glass. He slid his arms around my waist, staring at me through my reflection.

Today is October 31st and Oak insisted we join him in celebrating Halloween. Of course, this means we all need costumes. I decided to go as the one character I knew more than anyone else.

Cardan.

I looked through his wardrobe for my outfit. It was quite hard to find a top that was loose enough to account for my breasts, as most of his clothes were tailored to fit him perfectly. I also found a dark blue coat, its collar covered in iridescent feathers. I gave up trying to find pants in his collection, as my hips would never fit, and just wore a pair of black leggings with black combat boots.

"What do you mean, dear Jude?"

"The only thing you love more than booze is yourself."

He raised his brows, making a show of looking offended. 

"Your capacity to lie to yourself will always impress me,” he said then plucked a kiss to my temple, “I love you more than I love wine."

I don’t think I will ever get over him being  caring . It felt as if he was a completely different person from the boy who would disturb lessons just to get attention.

Cardan turned me to face him, then inspected my face. “Something is missing.” He took my hand and directed me to his personal vanity. He opened the drawer and pulled out some cosmetics. He lined my eyes with kohl and coated my lashes with dark mascara. I suppressed my laugh when I saw he was so concentrated that he had stuck out his tongue. Then, he took out some glittery gold powder and applied it on my cheekbones. 

He took a step back to look at his handiwork and smiled.

“And the final touch,” he said as he plucked his crown off his head and put it on my head at an angle, “Voilà!”

I looked at myself in the mirror. I did not bother with any kind of wig. I put my hair up in elaborate braids, letting a few short curls hang in a few places. Yet, even without his signature dark hair, I still looked like him. I made faces at myself in the mirror, trying to get his grin right. 

Finally, I got up. “Your turn now, dearest Cardan.”

When Heather learned that Cardan would be coming too, she started suggesting outfits for him. She even went as far as drawing some of them. Something about his otherworldly looks inspired her. Maybe it's the tail, since a lot of her designs included it: a devil, sexy cat man and my personal favorite, a cute puppy.

In the end, I chose my own, petty idea. I walked in the closet and pulled out the outfit I had the servants clean for the occasion. 

“A King needs his Queen,” I grinned as I revealed the Queen of Mirth dress and crown.

Cardan threw his head back laughing. “You sure know how to hold a grudge.”

Thankfully, my husband was a team player, and he went with it. Even in this, he looked strikingly handsome. Or pretty, I guess. Unfair.

We landed in Maine in the early afternoon. It was strange to be awake so early, but Cardan did not seem bothered at all. We met up with Vivi, Heather, Oak, Taryn and Garrett at the entrance to FallFest, some kind of harvest festival that was held every October in the local park. It had everything from harvest contests to food stands, a section with typical carnival games, a small hay maze and even a haunted house.

I was not surprised to see my eldest sister dressed up, she went crazy for Halloween every year. Vivienne would dress up for a week straight before Halloween, even when she still lived in Elfhame. She was wearing a tight black bodysuit with a tail and claws as well as a black leather mask with cat ears. Heather dressed up as some kind of … plant lady? She had a short bodysuit made of green ivy leaves, green stockings and a long red wig. Oak was with them, wearing a reddish pink shirt with a big yellow star on it. I can only assume they went for pop-culture references I am unfamiliar with.

The real surprise was seeing my twin Taryn and her quiet lover also dressed up.

"What are you dressed as?", Cardan inquired, cocking his head to the side, "You ought to have dressed as Jude, you have already proved to be so good at it."

I snapped my head at him and slammed my foot as hard as I could on his. He was joking, of course. But the peace between me and Taryn was still fairly new. We mostly kept to ourselves and rarely talked. Garrett was back with the Court of Shadow and we were friendly, but he kept his professional and personal lives completely separated.

Cardan was hopping on one foot, scowling at me like he did not understand why I was upset. Taryn understood, though. She was sheepishly looking at the ground.

"I… I'm sorry for tricking you, Cardan."

I tried finding something to say to end the awkwardness. I wanted Cardan to apologize for what he said, but I knew he would not. Fae don't apologize.

Thankfully, Vivi broke the silence. "C'mon guys, we're here to HAVE FUN!" she complained, "What ARE you two dressed as?"

"Phantom of the Opera." Garrett replied.

"Nerds."

"Says the one dressed up as Catwoman." Garrett mocked.

The bickering continued, though less mean-spirited than Cardan’s original comment, as we walked down the main path. Our first stop was the pumpkin carving station. Each couple got their own pumpkin to carve, though Vivi and Heather’s pumpkin was mostly Oak’s handiwork and the couple making sure he did not stab himself. Taryn and Garrett made some intricate flower design on theirs, Garrett being the one doing the carving of course. As for us, well… Cardan had creative ideas, but no skills with a blade, and my skills were more of the  stabbing  variety. We settled on giving our pumpkin a traditional jack-o-lantern face. 

After the effort of carving pumpkins, we were starving. Oak was complaining, dragging his feet on the ground so much that Vivi and Heathers were holding both of his hands to pull him along. Behind them, I saw Taryn with her arm looped around The Ghost's.

I was suddenly very aware that Cardan and I were the only ones not holding hands.

Nobody knows us here. We needn't keep the appearance of the power couple, together to rule and nothing else.

I took my hand out of the pockets of my borrowed coat and tentatively brushed my fingers against Cardan's hand. I saw him whip his head towards me, and I blushed when I witnessed the surprise in his face. Soon enough, he smiled. One of those smiles he kept for me and only me, blissful and happy. The smile he gives me when we have the time to spend hours cuddled together in bed, enjoying each other's presence.

Cardan took my hand and squeezed. I squeezed back.

We spent the rest of the afternoon eating good food, trying to guess the weight of giant pumpkins and visiting a haunted house. Cardan was fascinated by the weird human traditions and absolutely ecstatic about the food. Pumpkin-spiced flavored food will become the new trend in Elfhame, judging by his reaction.

When the sun started to go down, Taryn and Garrett left for Madoc’s, who decided to try giving out candy to the trick-or-treaters. Heather and Vivienne had initially volunteered to take Oak trick-or-treating himself, but when one of their friends invited them to a party, we offered to take him instead. Oak was excited to spend more time with me and “Uncle Cardan”. 

I had not gone trick-or-treating in...10 years? Maybe 12? Since my parents died. Cardan, obviously, had never gone. So, dressed up as each other, with Oak dressed as some cartoon character, we roamed the residential streets of the city to beg for sweets.

“If it is called ‘trick-or-treat’, does that mean I can make bargains if someone refuses to give me candy?” Cardan asked as we watched Oak go up to a house.

I gave him my best ‘I’ll-strangle-you-if-you-do’ stare. “No. No turning people into cats, no curse making them hear imaginary insects buzzing around their ears.”

“Why is it called trick-or-treat, then?”

Vivienne told me they had to explain this to Oak, too, a few weeks ago. Someone at school had mentioned being excited to go trick-or-treating and my brother had been very confused.

“I don’t know.”

Cardan hmmed and smirked, “Perhaps the Folk were involved when the holiday was first established.”

I crossed my arms.

“If that’s the case, not all traditions need to be brought back.”

He laughed at that, then reached around me and pulled me closer to him.

“You win. I won’t trick anyone,” he crooned in my ear, “but I want a kiss for being well behaved.”

I rolled my eyes dramatically. “So needy.”

Once again, I had to remind myself that nobody knows us here. Nobody recognized our costumes today: in the mortal world, dressed as each other, we were only The Guy In An Ugly Dress and Fashionable Emo Boy. Nobody knew we are King and Queen of Elfhame, therefore there are no expectations to be the hedonistic king and his murderous wife.

I slid my hand behind his neck and pulled him down. I felt him smile as I captured his lips with mine.

“Ew, gross!” Oak’s voice came from the other end of the driveway, “Stop that, come here.”

Reluctantly, we pulled away from each other and looked towards the house. Oak was in front of the opened door, talking with a couple. 

“Honey, look,” the tallest woman exclaimed as we walked down the driveway, “She’s dressed as High King Cardan!”

“Oh my god,” the other one replied, sounding so very human, “that sounds kind of profane. Do you think he would have her hung for this?”

As I looked at the two women, I realized that Oak had stumbled upon the house of a Fae couple. They saw through his glamour, and he saw through theirs.

“This is my sister Jude,” Oak started, “and this is my Uncle Cardan.”

Both females had gone completely still and were staring at Cardan with wide eyes. Simultaneously, they bowed deeply. 

“Forgive us, Your Majesty. We weren’t expecting you.”

“We so rarely see our kind around here,” the shorter one said nervously, “we… wanted to meet who little Oak was with.”

“We have tea, if you would like.”

I dared a glance at Cardan and noticed he seemed amused. Was he delighted to make them uncomfortable?

“That won’t be necessary,” he said as he took my hand, “My  wife  has us on a tight schedule, we have other houses to visit. Have a nice evening.”

I caught the emphasis on  wife  and realized they only recognized him as royalty. ‘  Your Majesty ’, singular. I could tell from the two females’ expressions that they also understood their mistake. I felt bad for them knowing they had no ill intent, probably unaware of the situation in Faerie. Yet, I could not help the grin that crept on my face. I worked hard to become High Queen. I fought and killed my way through the ranks, almost dying. Multiple times. I made decisions that will haunt me until the day I die. I am High Queen, and the Folk must know. 

“It was nice meeting you,” I say as I take Oak’s hand, “You are welcome to visit us at the palace if you wish.”

My memories from before Faerieland were to blurry, I did not remember getting so much candy. Did Taryn and I get that much? How could we possibly have eaten all of that? Cardan and I each had a smaller bag, only accompanying Oak to some of the doors, but Oak had multiple full bags. Once he went to sleep, Oriana was more than happy to give us some. She had learned how bad candy was for children’s teeth - even little Fae kids. She filled little bags for us to take back to Elfhame. 

Like anyone eating candy for the first time, Cardan went a little crazy. He wanted to try everything. Faeries might be different in a lot of ways, but I now have proof that chocolate is addictive even to them. 

The High King of Elfhame ate so much candy that he fell asleep on the couch, to the former General’s dismay.

[angstyaches]

Go To Him

For the love of god will someone just take care of this boy -

CW: nightmare with body horror elements, anxiety, nausea, confusion and muddled thoughts, fever, the babe is generally ✨unwell✨, reference to grief for a parent, angst

___

Shayne had dreamt of his voice since the first time Charlie had ever tried to comfort him. Ever since he learned that his name could be said with something other than disgust or reluctance, he’d heard himself being called from all corners of the earth as he slept. Ever since he learned that hands could be used for holding, not just for pinning down and hurting, he’d reached for them under the sheets, often failing to find them.

Ever since he started to consider that there was more to life than what he’d been raised for, his dreams had been in colour. This dream was green.

The grass was dark and glistening with fallen rain as clouds gathered and promised that more would fall. The freezing cold jar lay emptily in his hands, its weight boring into his skin and searing its meaning into him. This is what you are. His jaw ached from being unhinged, and it snapped sharply as he tried to stretch it out. The jar fell from his hands as he clutched at it, terrified that his whole head might fall apart under the force of the pain.

He wanted to call out for Charlie. He was scared and confused and hurting, and Charlie always seemed to ease those feelings.

But when his jaw clicked into place, he opened his mouth and he said his own name instead. Or rather, something said his name through his mouth, but it wasn’t his voice.

“Shayne,” it said softly, and he clutched at his own throat as something else grabbed at it from the inside. “Let me out.”

///

He woke like he’d been stunned, lying rigid at the edge of the bed as his eyes stared widely across the room. For a moment – a nice one, in retrospect – he couldn’t remember why he’d woken, but when he did, it hit hard.

He stumbled into the bathroom, hands shaking and shoulder colliding with the doorframe on the way. One hand was pressed to his stomach and he was already doubled over before he reached the toilet.

Get it out, get it out, get it out of me, he almost cried, forcing out sobs and dry heaves that jerked him further forward across the toilet seat. He realised that the it in his plea had almost been a him, he’d almost called the demon a him, a familiar him, a beloved him –

And then he remembered that it was a dream.

“Fuck,” he gasped, closing his eyes in relief. The tension left him so quickly he swore he felt every one of his joints pop. It was a dream, it was a dream; there was nothing in his stomach that had the ability to talk back to him, and it was certainly not Charlie Two. It’d been days since he’d even devoured a demon.

When he was able to stand, he leaned over the sink and sipped some running water, hoping it would calm his stomach rather than agitate it. In the mirror, he looked more washed-out than he usually did between devouring. His ears were ringing, and his chest hurt, probably from waking up with such intense anxiety. It was as though the nightmare had carved something out of him, left him longing in a way he wasn’t used to, and the first thing he found when he followed that thread of emotion was Mum, I want my mum. A sharp pain rose in his throat at the thought and he quickly smothered it, and the next one was of Charlie.

Charlie. Something might have happened to him. Right? It made perfect sense in the moment, while his body was shaking, and his head felt like a swamp. Maybe the dream was supposed to be a sign or a warning or a –

And the next thought was so crazy and obvious that he shook his head at it, refused to meet his own gaze in the mirror, fearing he would all too easily talk himself out of it.

Go to him.

___

Shayne was used to pain and general unpleasantness in his body. He was never surprised when a demon tried to claw its way out of him, turning his stomach and burning his throat with bile and making him throw up all kinds of crap as its essence broke up inside of him.

But he wasn’t familiar with this different sort of ache that was crawling up his chest and throat. Instead of something that rushed like a waterfall, this was more like a glacier, sending chills through his organs and making him shudder involuntarily. He missed his bed and his hot water bottle. Hell, he would have accepted a burning-hot hug from Elliott if he’d been there. And he absolutely wished he’d worn something more than just a t-shirt and his leather jacket.

No doubt he was isolated on the train because people were taking one glance and deciding that he had some kind of plague. Not that he was complaining about that. What he could have complained about, however, was the swirling nausea in his belly that he couldn’t find any relief from, the pressure in his head that made his ears ring, the grating agony in his lungs and throat. When he looked out the window at the dark countryside passing by, the undersides of his eyes were black in his reflection.

Finally, finally, he heard the name of a familiar stop. His legs were next to useless as he attempted to get to the door of the train, resting his head against a wall as he waited for it to stop, for the doors to open, and he damn-near almost fell asleep on his feet.

___

He’d forgotten his phone, he realised as he stood in the entranceway of the train station. Then again, he couldn’t forget something he’d never intended to bring in the first place. The thought just hadn’t occurred to him, not even while he’d been scribbling down a quick explanation for Felix and Elliott so that they’d know where he’d gone. 

He remembered the way to the Waters’ new house from the station, even though he had been in a car last time he’d come; but it was bucketing down rain and he didn’t have so much as a hood to pull up.

He wondered if he’d have called Charlie at that point, if he could, and asked him to come and get him. Probably not. That would mean putting him out even more than he was already planning to.

The rain made itself part of his clothes so quickly he might as well have gone swimming in them.

___

Evening was closing in on the housing estate when he got there, after what felt like hours but was probably only one in reality. The curtains were drawn in the front room, leaving a faint glow around the edges to indicate life inside. Shayne’s breath stuck in his throat as he stepped onto the porch, finally out of the downpour.

He couldn’t believe how uncomfortable his eyes felt in his head, how high the pain had risen in his throat, how shaky his limbs were. He was starting to wonder if this whole day had been an extension of that messed-up dream. Charlie would know. Charlie would tell him why he was feeling like this… 

Charlie would make it better...

The doorbell faded in and out of his vision, and the first time he reached for it, his palm touched the glass pane of the door instead. Shit. If his throat and mouth and chest hadn’t felt so unbearably dry, he’d have thought he was about to throw up. It was stupid, actually, how dry and hot he felt inside while his outsides were drenched.

Shayne tried for the doorbell again, succeeding in ringing it this time. Doubt crept up his spine as droplets of rain fell from his hair and down his face. He was suddenly nervous on top of everything else, the sensation gnawing at his gut. He hadn’t thought about what he was going to say; thinking usually felt like taking steps through his thoughts, but right now it was like trying to tread water with weights tied to his feet.

He folded his arms tightly around himself, grimacing against the urge to just curl up on the doorstep and cry until someone came to get him.

The door clicked as it unlocked.

“Shayne!” Trevor exclaimed as he opened it. Shayne couldn’t tell if it was a question or not. “What are – what are you doing here?”

Ingrid came to the door too, when she heard her husband’s voice rise. Her eyes were wide and so was her mouth, as she pulled the front of her dressing gown more firmly around herself with folded arms.

“Sweetie, it’s lashing rain!” she exclaimed, peering out past the doorstep as though checking the driveway and sidewalk for a car. “Did you walk here from the station?”

“I-I – yeah, I heard – I heard from Charlie… kind of, not really, and… and… well, it was a dream, but he was – I h-hurt him, or it - it was a demon, I just don’t… I-I mean, I think it was just – just a nightmare, but they’re – the demons, my foster parents, everything’s – maybe…”

Shayne heard it, he heard how awful his voice sounded through his battered throat, and how little sense he was making, but he couldn’t seem to stop talking.

“And… and I had to see him, I’m – I know it’s late and it’s n-not okay to just show up uninvited, but I was s-so fucking worried about – sorry. Shit, I-I didn’t m-mean to swear just now, I…”

Both their faces fell as he stopped talking, and his stomach did too.

“Shayne, sweetie,” Ingrid said. “Charlie doesn’t live here.”

It took the words a moment to penetrate the fog in Shayne’s head and click into place. The way the two of them were standing in the doorway suddenly made sense, their shoulders tensed and their bodies forming a barrier he couldn’t cross. He wasn’t a guy coming to see his friend, he was a guy trying to get into their home on a random, rainy night.

“He…” Shayne blinked and felt himself start to sway.

“He didn’t tell you?” Trevor demanded incredulously, the rise in his voice making Shayne flinch. “He went back to Mulberry after the holidays. He’s finishing school there.”

“I… no, he’s…” Shayne’s skin tingled with hot-and-cold panic, his ears rang with in trouble, in trouble, you’re in trouble. He lowered his gaze, looking at how the rain lay in patches on the painted floorboards in the porch, carried there by the wind, or by him. “No, I’m – I’m s-sorry, I didn’t...”

He felt Charlie’s parents stare at him for a few moments longer before the embarrassment settled firmly in the pit of his stomach. And when it did, it made every hair on his body bristle, made the tears finally spring to his eyes, made his shoulders lift stiffly towards his ears.

“S-sorry,” he choked out, stepping back from the door. “I – I’ll just…”

“Sweetie,” Ingrid sighed, reaching into the rain to pull him back onto the porch. “At least come inside and get dry. One of us will drive you back to the station.”

Shayne whimpered at the hand gripping his upper arm, fear crawling into the space where anger usually flared whenever he was grabbed. He was too exhausted to fight or struggle, and he didn’t want to fight Ingrid anyway.

“Oh, my god.” Ingrid lifted her hand, and Shayne flinched, the fog in his brain making him think that he was going to be slapped. Instead, she brushed back some dripping-wet hair, and rested a cool palm on his forehead. “Trev? I think he’s got a temperature.”

Trevor said something in response, but Shayne closed his eyes to all of it, unable to think about anything but the blissfully cool hand that was taken away again. If tears fell from his eyes, they were undistinguishable from the rainwater. The cold and the wet were seeping into his bones, his body getting ready to give up.

“Do you have a phone number for the people he’s staying with?” Trevor asked gently.

“No, but I can look up the number for his foster parents –”

“N-no,” he gasped, putting a hand to the wall again as his vision started to go black. “N-no, no, no, no, you ca-can’t call Madelyn, don’t call Madelyn, don’t tell her where I am, she’ll hu– I-I can’t let her find you, I can’t… can’t let her hurt Charlie…”

“Alright, come on, son. Come on, no – no, no, don’t collapse just yet. There you go, come on…”

There were hands on him again, but there wasn’t anything left for him to care with. All he knew was that those hands weren’t Charlie’s, they weren’t his mum’s, and that second thought stuck in the back of his throat like a shard of glass.

He was vaguely aware of being led through the house, remembered noticing when the sound of the rain faded softly into the background instead of pelting down all around him. He was handed a towel and pyjamas and shown to the bathroom, all of it tinged in warm pink tones and cold shivers. He remembered saying yes when they asked if he would be okay by himself; he was always okay by himself. He was used to being okay by himself. He wouldn’t ask for anything more, because asking led to –

“I’ll be right outside the door if you need anything.” Ingrid’s hand on his shoulder, her face slowly coming into focus for all of a few seconds. “Okay?”

“’Kay,” he whispered, the shard tightening in his throat as she left him alone in the bathroom and shut the door. His clothes were dripping, and sank heavily as he put them on the floor. The shower was already running for him, not hot enough to produce a lot of steam. Still hotter than what got at either of his vampire-run homes.

Shayne lost his breath for a moment, feeling so dizzy he thought he might pass out. He could only manage to stand under the water long enough to be sure the rainwater was washed off. The pyjama pants and hoodie that he’d been given smelled just like Charlie, which he couldn’t decide was better or worse than nothing at all. They felt crisp against his skin, he instantly knew they’d been tumble-dried.

“Are you okay?” Ingrid called through the door not long after he’d shut the water off.

“Fine,” he tried to say, but the word caught in the back of his throat and he coughed, wondering for a second if he was about to be sick. He turned towards the sink, hands shaking as he held onto it, but the clenching in his chest had nothing to do with his stomach, and everything to do with his lungs, which felt like they had a mixture of feathers and pins thrashing inside of them.

“Sweetie?” Ingrid pushed the door open a few inches. “Are you dressed? Can I come in?”

“Yeah, I-I’m…” Shayne tried to clear his throat, though he only succeeded in making his voice even more gravelly. “I’m fine, sorry.”

Ingrid put out an arm for him to hold onto as he eased himself away from the sink. He head felt like it was being balanced on a toothpick.

“Let’s get you settled in Charlie’s bed,” she said, and it took a moment for Shayne to remember that Charlie wouldn’t actually be there. “You can sleep here tonight, but we have to contact someone and let them know where you are. Won’t your aunts be worried about you?”

“I left –” Shayne winced and swallowed back the urge to cough again, not wanting to unleash whatever he was carrying so close to Ingrid. “Left a m-message for… my cousin.”

“Alright,” Ingrid said, though she sounded dubious. “If you’re feeling better tomorrow, I’ll drive you back to the train station.”

Shayne wondered what was going to happen if he didn’t feel better in the morning, because right then it felt like his brain was never going to go back to the way it had been before it had become a dense, foggy wasteland for his thoughts. He had no idea how he got up the stairs, or which of Charlie’s parents had brought him a cup of hot lemon for his throat, or at what point the tears started again, because all of a sudden he was in the middle of crying softly into a pillow that was quickly losing its pleasantly cool temperature, and he wanted his mum.

“Shayne.” Trevor’s weight dipped the side of the mattress slightly. Once again, hearing his name in a stern voice made Shayne’s anxiety spike right up, skewering everything else he was feeling.

He jumped when Trevor touched his shoulder from outside the duvet, a nervous whimper scraping at his throat.

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Trevor assured him, holding a mobile phone out towards him. “Here. It’s Charlie.”

“Charlie?” Shayne’s vision blurred a little as he tried to focus on the phone. “Can… Can I talk to him?”

“Yeah, that’s why I’m giving you the phone, son.”

Shayne’s hands were shaking as he untangled an arm from the duvet. He took the phone and held it to his ear, watching as Trevor smiled and got to up leave. He held his breath for a moment, silence tickling his nerves, before some part of his fog-addled brain remembered that the person picking up the phone had to say something to let the other person know they were there.

“Hello,” he said in a tiny voice that still managed to strain his vocal cords.

“Shayne!” Charlie gasped on the other end of the phone. “Lovely, I can’t – I can’t believe you went to my parents’ place. Holy shit, are – are you okay?”

“N-no…” Shayne’s chest ached with something beyond sickness, the shivering starting up again at the sound of Charlie’s voice, probably intensified by nerves and adrenaline. “I n-needed… I thought you’d be h-here.”

“I know,” Charlie whispered, sounding like he was almost in tears himself. “I know, I know, lovely. I’m so, so sorry. I’m going to drive up first-thing tomorrow. Okay?”

“Mmm.” Shayne’s eyes closed of their own accord at the mention of sleep, his bones and his head aching to just be allowed to relax without trying to think or react to anyone. Meanwhile, his heart was clenched tight with the need to have Charlie there, to have Charlie now, and he gritted his teeth in frustration at himself. “Sorry I’m so… selfish, and childish, I-I – I don’t know what I was… thinking…”

“Selfish?”

“I want you,” Shayne breathed, burying his head lower on the pillow, blocking his own view of the room. “A-and my mum, I want my mum, Charlie…”

Charlie’s breath hitched on the phone, and he took a moment longer than usual to reply. Shayne fought back a sob, knowing that it was going to be a big one if it ever saw the light of day. He couldn’t be sure, but he couldn’t remember ever voicing those words before.

“Shayne, that’s – that’s not selfish. Okay? I promise. I – I love you so much, and I’m so fucking sorry I’m not there… I shouldn’t have lied to you about moving.”

Shayne tried to hold in the sob a little longer, but couldn’t stop his breath from hitching as coughs wracked his lungs and his frame too.

Charlie gave a quiet whimper at the sounds. “Are you okay?”

“Sorry,” Shayne choked out, brushing his cheek against the top sheet to dry off some of the tears. The phone was starting to feel clammy between his hand and his cheek. “I just really… don’t feel good.”

“You don’t have to be sorry.”

As he got his breathing under control, the sharpness of the chest pains faded back into a dull, scratchy ache. Shayne focused on the crisp white duvet that swallowed him almost all the way to the top of his head, on the glow from the touch-activated lamp on the bedside locker, which turned the magnolia walls a soft orange. There was a strange sort of quiet, the kind that lingered after a door was closed and voices hushed. A deliberate, crafted quiet.

“God,” Charlie whispered down the phone. “I wish I was there. I wish I could hold your hand right now.”

“Mmm,” Shayne agreed, though he reckoned his fingers wouldn’t have had the strength to stay furled around Charlie’s. What he really wanted was Charlie’s body curled around his back, and his arms holding onto him until the shaking stopped. Just the idea of it, and the presence of his voice - that voice - was like an extra layer of warmth between his skin and the bedsheets.

“I’m in bed, too... I’m going to stay on the phone until you drift off.” Charlie’s voice was falling into softer and softer whispers by the second. “And if you go for a nice, long sleep, I’ll be there when you wake up.”

Part Two: Charlie