#I had to go back and do some refreshing like how did the first ascension go down again?? And what was yin yu doing with brocade robes??

[meanbossart]

I gotta ask this has been rattling in my brain for a while.

How did your DU drow react when Astarion asked him for help with the ritual? What were his thoughts? Or was he simply like stop it, no, we aren't doing that. OH, How did you picture your Astarion and DU Drow react after he "died" and was brought back? I know that we don't really get that much dialogue or reaction from the companions when that happens (Praying they add something later down the line in another patch)

Again thank you for sharing your beautiful art and fanfic with all of us its so refreshing to see!!! :)

OHOHOHO I'm glad you asked. I feel like that first question is very revealing of DU drow's character and It was a fun moment to ponder upon, because I think much of his behavior might lead one to believe he would be willing to go along with whatever Astarion wants, instead of pushing back at all, at least on the surface.

There's two factors at play here - first, DU drow knows of his heritage at that point, and thanks to the blank-slate treatment of the tadpole he's gotten a brand new perspective on it by the time he learns of the truth. Prior to losing his memories, accepting the fate that Bhaal had bestowed onto him felt like a choice and the best thing that ever happened to him in life, a confirmation that he was special and destined for greatness instead of just damned to the lowly existence he had endured so far. After his brain is scrambled however, DU drow got a taste of what true freedom feels like while unburdened by his upbringing; he's strong, he's powerful, he's self-sufficient, he enjoys the fruits of his labor without appreciating what got him here - he does not feel like he needs Bhaal, and the fact he ever did is laughable at best and violating at worse. This leads him to abhor the idea of depending on higher power to succeed instead of just raising oneself up by their own merits, or abiding by any mentality where you take orders from a source.

So when Astarion speaks of ascension, and especially after he learns of the source of that power (Infernal magic) he's disillusioned by it. While his memories are still hazy, the situation still feels awfully familiar to him. He doesn't think Astarion needs that higher power because he doesn't, either, and to take it would surrendering to fear and giving away even more of his autonomy than he already has.

And if that sounds a little self centered and like he's missing some of the point, it's because he is. While DU drow has fallen in love with Astarion by that stage in the story and wants what's best for him (he actually entertains the idea of him ascending up to a point - he wants him to be happy) he still has a difficult time empathizing with others. Ascending feels like a bad choice, but he can only justify that feeling from his own, narrow perspective.

(I mused on about characterization for too long again. So more under the cut - the sky is blue the sun is hot etc.)

Then there's the uglier, far more vulnerable and knee-jerk reaction to it. Now that Bhaal is no longer his purpose in life or the gift he once felt it to be, Astarion has taken it's place. Bhaal needed DU drow, in his eyes, much like Astarion does now. And as much as the vampire might have told him that his feelings on the matter changed (and that he was no longer manipulating DU drow for his own ends alone) he can't fathom a reason to be kept around unless he continues to be needed. He has slotted himself as Astarion's protector and devotee, and a vampire lord does not sound like they need much of either.

As much as he would never admit to it, DU drow does not know a life where he doesn't pledge himself, body and soul, to another purpose. He seems like he's happy to barrel through life directionless, but he needs something that anchors him or he has an inexplicable feeling that something terrible will happen. And honestly, maybe he's right - for a man who loves killing, he has a much easier time applying some strategy to that desire as long as he's doing it to some an specific end. Without Astarion, he probably feels like his choices are to either submit to his hedonism entirely or just lie down and die.

I don't need to spell out that this is pure codependency at it's finest.

So, when Astarion asks for help to complete the ritual he is conflicted. He wants to do whatever Astarion wants, but his brain is setting off alarm bells that, if he acquiesces, this will be the end for them and for him. And whatever comes after is a terrifying void of nothing. While he loves Astarion and ultimately does the right choice in pleading with him to give up on this power, his motivations are far from selfless or pure, as much as DU drow may not yet realize it.

This is why, after everything takes place, and specially once he severs his connection to Bhaal and his mind clears a little further, DU drow would go on to grapple with a lot of guilt for taking this opportunity away from Astarion, as I have touched on in the fic and will continue to do so. He's happy to feel like he has a reason to be kept around, but the inevitable hurdles that Astarion must continue to face as a spawn are obviously painful to witness. This is why he dives full force into trying to "fix" his vampirism instead, following that.

NOW, FOR THE NEXT AND HOPEFULLY FAR BRIEFER ANSWER TO YOUR OTHER QUESTION (spoiler alert, it's not brief at all, god damn it):

Yeah everyone just standing around in that scene feels little weird LOL not that it took away too much from how dope a cutscene it was (I probably watched it with the attentiveness of a sport's fan witnessing a footbal game turning in the last 10 minutes of a match) but If I were to embellish it instead of just going with something like "everyone is shell-shocked and paralyzed", I would say Shadowheart is the first to rush over to see if there's anything at all she can do to help, and probably the first (and only, in that moment) to break down crying. I think she very quickly composes herself after he's brought back, tells him he gave her the scare of a fucking lifetime and that he's the luckiest idiot in all of the realms - but that she's glad he's back. No hugs for him though LOL

Astarion is pretty much the opposite, that he would stand there in shock feels kind of apt to me. Like, holy shit, what just happened? Did one of the only good things in my life really just get taken away in the blink of an eye? Am I just cursed to have everything snatched away from my hand as soon as I'm growing comfortable with it? Yes, of course I am. What else did I expect. When DU drow pops back up he's probably like "Oh yeah I knew it'd be fine" (plus the little Twee comment, that was very funny to me.) and DU drow is similarly going "Oh definitely, it was my plan all along to be killed and then resurrected by an ominous house-keeper skeleton this whole time. Anyway, smooch for a dead man?"

This... Clearly very traumatic little incident is probably addressed by them only later. He gets a kiss and a hug at camp and a very stern "if you do that shit again I'm raising you back up just to kill you myself" from Astarion and Shadowheart's just down to drink in celebration and drown her trauma away for now lmao.

OH YEAH AND GALE WAS ALSO THERE. There was a whole Gale debacle in my playthrough but, the TL;DR, is that especially towards the end of the game he was Not in the best of terms with DU drow. Still, I obviously think he's an empathetic person and had his own "oh shit" moment. I'd say he takes this opportunity to try extending a very sincere hand out to him later that day, both for his courage in defying a god and dumb-luck - which DU drow completely passes on like an asshole and just gives him a cold-shoulder about, leaving feeling even more dejected than he already was and probably further cementing his choice to pursue the crown of Karsus later, despite DU drow's disapproval. Good job buddy!

Thank you so much for the ask and for your lovely compliments!!! Sorry for writing you a dang ESSAY 😬

[crowning-art]

TGCF SPOILERS (Book 3)

---‐----------------------

Without further ado, thoughts on chapters 153-157!!!

Sjjsjdjdjf, the three tumors give me the same vibes as those super popular, but very problematic cliques you see in schools, lol

Speaking of three tumors I STILL MISS SHI WUDU JEISJDJDJDJ Every day I live in a fantasy that someone, somehow, magically got the powers to resurrect him and he's alive in a dungeon somewhere (gotta make it a little realistic, yknow? *she says in utter denial*)

SHUT UP! THIS LINE SENT SHIVERS DOWN MY SPINE OH MY GOD

“Very well! You said I couldn’t reach that high. Then, might I ask you: had the prominence of the Palace of Jing Wen at its peak ever reached even the knees of my Palace of Ling Wen??”

So hopefully, I'm remembering things right about events in Xuli: pei ming was a general there, his people wanted him to rebel and become king, he refused, Ling wen was from the same place who sold shoes and tricked a man into killing himself (brocade story), also wrote multiple beautiful lit pieces and thus ascended. I don't think we've been told yet how Xuli truly fell, but I'll do a refresh read tomm just in case!

Also the Jing Wen and Ling Wen story was just sooo utterly fascinating to me, because it centers around a person whose insecurities acc had a much greater repercussion than he realized. See, had he not made her ascend, she wouldn't have played such a major role in hurting so many people after her ascension (refer to brocade robe incident) and all of this was done for what? To satisfy his inferiority complex. It's kinda crazy to see how everything plays out in the long run, yknow?

WAIT WHAT????? I did not see this coming dudhjdjxkdk THIS DUDE WAS A STONE STATUE TALKING???

However, the one who was questioning Xie Lian wasn’t actually a “man”, but an extremely coarsely-made stone statue of a man, its body bare but wrapped with cloth; somehow bizarre and at the same time silly.

Stop I was laughing at the chaotic-ness of this whole scene lmaooo, especially this part

It’s alright if you won’t chop yours off, I’ll chop off his!”

He was referring to Pei Ming. Pei Ming was dumbfounded.

“WHAT THE FUCK?!”

Also

YO THE ABSOLUTE IMAGERY HERE OH MY GOD IM SCREAMING ITS SO BEAUTIFUL T-T

The bloody rain that had enveloped the sky had transformed into a fluttering shower of flower petals!

There was no need to even guess who had come. Xie Lian curled his fingers and clenched his hand, clutching that flower petal as the name blurted from his lips.

“San Lang!”

Blossoms fell like dripping blood; blood danced like petals in the wind. That face was as spirited and handsome as the first time they met, his eye bright and alive. He languidly sheathed that long and slender silver scimitar back into its scabbard, and spoke with a deep voice.

“Your Highness, I’ve come back.”

The next time I face the most minor of inconvenience such as phone battery low or smt, I'm using this line by pei ming lmaoo

“Where there is abnormality, there is evil; everyone be careful.”

Ok I HAVE A NEW THEORY (or acc it's me reiterating EXACTLY what I said last time lmao)

So if you look back at one of the chapters at the end of book 1, specifically the part when Goushi is discussing a dream with Xie Lian, he talks about being dragged down from ascension, the crown prince wearing only white clothes, and a kingdom falling into ruin....SOunD fAmIliAR???

The contents of the mural in this divine temple were completely different from the previous one.

They started studying it from the highest level, the top of the painting. A white-clad young man sat poised upon a jaded futon, his brows quietly handsome. It was that Crown Prince of Wuyong. His eyes were tightly shut, and judging from his posture, he seemed to be in deep reflective meditation. However, it wasn’t tranquil.

Like, HES EVEN MEDITATING THE WAY XIE LIAN DID WHEN HE WAS TRYING TO USE A STATUE TO HOLD THE XIANLE PALACE UP AND there's more, but the whole scene just SCREAMS parallels to Xianle (I also scream the same thing lmao) LIKE HOW ELSE CAN THIS BE EXPLAINED??? SOMEONE RELIVED THE WHOLE THING BEFORE?? UNLESS IT'S JUN WU??? GOD, I CAN'T LET JUN WU GO THIS DUDE IS INVOLVED IN SMT, BUT I DONT KNOW WHAT

Hua Cheng is 100 percent aware he is in a book, and that book is a ROMANCE book, while everyone else is out there living out the horror genre in every way conceivable lmaoooo

Even though it wasn’t the right time, Xie Lian still felt his heart skip a beat in spite of himself.

“Are you tired holding this up? How about I hold the umbrella for you…”

The others were fleeing and dodging, running madly; seeing how the two were having a good time, they couldn’t stand it, and couldn’t help but call out.

“Hey! Isn’t that unfair?!”

“Hua Chengzhu, may I ask if you have any spare umbrellas??

NO I ACC FORGOT YIN YU EXISTED AND PANICKED WHEN THE EARTH MASTER SHOVEL SHOWED UP CUZ I WAS LIKE WIND MASTER MY BELOVED??? ARE YOU OK??????

Aaaaaand the roasting session continues! On today's menu: roasted Yin Yu!!

Even if one was to stare at his face for two hours, after a good night’s sleep, his appearance would be completely forgotten the next day, so no doubt this was a molded fake face?

“…”

However, a moment later, that black-clad youth said, “I’m sorry, Your Highness, but, I…I really do look like this.”

Yikes cuz imagine being called plain faced and forgettable in front of your colleagues :/

HOW DO U EXPLAIN THAT U GAVE YOUR DEAREST A CURSED ROBE THAT WOULD MAKE THEM KILL THEMSELVES THO??

He’d always felt there was a misunderstanding between you in regards to the Brocade Immortal affair and wanted to hear your side of the story, so he could explain it to others. Yet, there was never any sign of you, nor any communication.”

Ok but low key that's kinda precious, like Qi Ying gaves me major dog vibes, constantly trying to return to owner kinda thing, yknow?

Loved loved loved how casual everyone was about this

“Everyone, a question. Have we dug into a mass grave?”

Pei Ming also pulled out a femur, sighing.

“Probably. Look at the structure of this bone. It must’ve belonged to an exquisitely beautiful woman with long, slender legs. To have her bones buried here, what a real shame.”

“Very unfortunate indeed,” Hua Cheng said. “The legs are long, that’s for sure, but that’s the bone of a man.

ALSO AAHHHHH BUT I LITERALLY STOPPED AT THE PART WHERE EVERYONE DISAPPEARS IN THE CAVE AND IM LIKE NOOO WAIT WHATS HAPPENING SJDJJDJFJF

“No,” Hua Cheng said. “But it’s precisely because there’s nothing that it’s worrisome.”

BRO IF HUA CHENG IS WORRIED, I THINK THERE IS A CAUSE FOR CONCERN HERE

[vrishchikawrites]

If you're still taking prompts, how about WWX becoming a god after he dies in the siege? It's hard to slander someone when you have a proof of their benevolence like this. I always loved the concept. He's strong and good enough to ascend, especially since in his last actions he chose to spare those who wronged him and destroy the seal. And now LZ needs to catch up ;)

(we'll need to hand wave some of the genre constants here. apologies!)

It happens in Qinghe. The Nie Clan hosts a Martial Arts conference and Lan Wangji accompanies Lan Xichen even though he's not inclined to. He has just come out of seclusion and socialization is the last thing on his mind.

But his brother insists and Wangji is hesitant to deny. The Unclean Realm is bustling with activity and Wangji feels the strain of it keenly. There's something off in the air.

It isn't until he meets Nie Mingjue that he realizes just what is off.

The man looks furious instead of stern and commanding. Nie Mingjue has always had a temper but Wangji has never seen him quite this unsettled. His eyes seem blood-shot and his expression is almost cruel. There's an odd, dissonant energy around him that alarms Wangji.

Xichen, Jin Guangyao, and Nie Mingjue seem to be arguing in some fashion, Wangji was too far away to understand their conversation but Nie Mingjue's voice was loud and enraged.

"Da-ge," Nie Huaisang's worried voice catches his attention and he turns to look in his direction. His expression conveys his anxiety for his brother clearly. Nie Huaisang is studying the scene before him with furrowed brows and uncharacteristically shrewd eyes, "Wangji-xiong, what do you think of this?"

At first, Wangji is hesitant to comment. This isn't his concern and he is certain Xichen will help if help is needed.

But something in Nie Huaisang's tone makes him hesitate. He is obviously seeking comfort.

Wangji studies the scene once again, noting with concern that even his brother is looking disturbed by Nie Mingjue's rage, "He is dangerously unstable. Xiongzhang's Song of Clarity isn't working?"

Nie Huaisang purses his lips and shakes his head, "San-ge plays it regularly but it doesn't seem to help." He waves his fan in agitation, "Nothing seems to help."

Wangji has nothing else to say. He's not good with casual conversations or comforting words. It is usually his brother who knows how to say the right thing at the right time.

"I wish Wei-xiong was here." Wangji stills at the soft whisper, "He would know what to do- no one knows Resentful Energy like he did."

Wangji takes a deep breath, keeping his gaze fixed on the middle distance. "Mentioning him is forbidden." He has kept Wei Ying's name close to his heart, untainted and loved instead of being tossed around and slandered.

His Wei Ying.

"You don't need to pretend to dislike him," Nie Huaisang says, eyes fixed on his brother, "Unlike everyone else, I knew his true self well enough. Almost as well as you did."

Wangji feels a curl of bitter amusement, "I did not know him."

Nie Huaisang waves his fan and remains silent for a long moment before speaking, "Believe me, Wangji-xiong, you were the only one who knew him."

Wangji has no reply.

--

Unfortunately, the situation does escalate beyond their control. Nie Mingjue has clearly lost control and is on the verge of qi deviation. He swings his sword aimlessly. Neither Wangji's guqin nor Xichen's flute do much to help.

Nie Huaisang is screaming, struggling against Jin Guangyao, trying to reach his increasingly volatile brother.

Nothing is helping. Wangji fears he may be forced to watch his brother's closest friend die.

Later, when questioned, he would say his prayer had been instinctive, coming deep from within him. He would say that he hadn't even thought when he spoke those words. That it hadn't even registered when he opened his mouth and said them out loud.

But in that moment, feeling something very close to panic at the sight of Nie Mingjue teetering close to the edge, he breaths out,

"Wei Ying, help."

The air around them stills the moment the last syllable slips past his lips. Nothing moves, no one speaks, the absence of sound was almost deafening.

Wangji feels the hair on his body stand on end the sound of swishing fabric fills the frozen atmosphere. He turns a little to see a swirl of black robes; rich, intricate, moving over the ground like smoke.

There's a fragrance of freshly dug earth and petrichor in the air, refreshing and earthy, but also strange. He's in the Unclean Realm and it hasn't rained in weeks.

Wangji takes a deep breath as the swish of fabric comes closer and then something as shockingly cold as snowmelt sweeps past him.

He already knows what he's about to see when he looks up.

Everything about him is pitch black. His hair is dark as ebony, falling down to the back of his knees. His robes seem to be made of shadows that suck in light. There are intricate lace and gold patterns on the sleeves. They look like talismans but Wangji cannot tell.

"Wei Ying," He calls softly.

Because Wangji knew it was him even before he saw him.

The air unfreezes and everyone comes to life once again, dazed and bewildered. Wangji hears Nie Huaisang draw in a sharp, shocked breath. He is the first to notice Wei Ying but others follow quickly. There are loud exclamations of surprise and many unsheathe their swords.

Wei Ying doesn't react. He lifts his hand, crooks a pale finger, and a mass of dark energy extracts itself from Nie Mingjue.

It is so quick, so unceremonious, that everyone is stunned.

Wei Ying studies it, condenses it into a small ball, and without pause, crushes it in his fist.

Nie Mingjue stumbles to his feet, clutching onto Baxia and staring at Wei Ying with wide eyes, "Wei Wuxian."

"You were destined to die today," Wei Ying says in a calm, dismissive tone, "The Nie Sect was destined to fade into obscurity." His voice is soft but there are layers to it, like a thousand individuals speaking in perfect harmony.

Nothing about Wei Ying is human. His voice is sonorous, entirely intimidating. His skin is as fair as white jade. His silver eyes are as bright as the moon. He looks regal, with an intricate hair piece holding the sweeping mass of ebony hair in place.

"You..." Xichen begins, looking just as hesitant as Wangji feels. Fortunately, his brother regains his composure quickly and bows, "Wei Wuxian, thank you for saving Nie Mingjue."

"I hold dominion over Justice." Wei Ying declares and Wangji carefully tucks his trembling hands behind his back, "Of course, I will answer the wishes of the most righteous man in Cultivation." He taps his chin with a smirk, an echo of a Wei Ying Wangji knows, loves, misses, "My affections for Lan Zhan play a part too, I suppose."

"Justice?" Nie Huaisang asks, "Because you died for a just cause?"

Wei Wuxian glances over his shoulder and Wangji meets that enchanting silver gaze with a racing heart.

"Perhaps," Wei Ying says teasingly, "I may be a deity, but even I am subject to the whims of fate."

He speaks as thought dominion over something like justice is an easy feat, like it doesn't imply immeasurable power.

"You were killed-" Nie Mingjue growls out, "For your unjust actions."

"Da-ge!" Xichen warns, glancing at Wei Ying warily.

"Don't remind me," Wei Ying says pleasantly, "For that call for justice still weighs heavy. You will all have to pay your dues, even you, Lan Zhan."

Wangji nods briefly, "I understand."

"Forgive me," Jin Guangyao interrupts, "Surely, you must understand our concern and puzzlement. Wei-gongzi, forgive me, you were-"

"You're not forgiven." Wei Ying tilts his head to the side, "I wonder, Jin Guangyao, if you think I am so easy to charm and deceive." Jin Guangyao stills, going worryingly pale, "You cannot kill me, slander me, manipulate others against me, or force me into a corner. I am Justice." Silver eyes sweep over all of them.

Wei Ying's eyes linger over Jin Guangyao's shaken expression before flickering over Xichen and Nie Mingjue.

"No one may escape me."

There's a sweeping wave of energy and everything freezes again.

Wangji remains stiff and silent as Wei Ying appears suddenly before him, leaning close enough that their breaths to mingle. Those eyes look even more otherworldly now, sparkling with the light of a thousand stars.

"Hanguang-jun," Wei Ying croons, "Don't keep your Wei Ying waiting for too long, hm?"

Wangji clenches his shaking hands, the proximity making his heart ache, "My Wei Ying?" He asks because he still remembers 'get lost' spoken in a hysterical, frenetic voice.

Wei Ying's expression softens a little, "Death gives clarity, my dear Lan Zhan. And ascension gives insight into fate and destiny. Wei Ying," He says and spins around cheekily, taking a few dancing steps away from him, "Wei Ying is always destined to be by Hanguang-jun's side." He winks, "Better hurry up! But not too soon! After our a-Yuan is old enough to stand on his own."

"Wei Ying - wait-"

The air starts moving again.

Wangji swallows and spins around, walking towards the gates of the Unclean Realm.

"Wangji-?"

"I must go ahead, xoingzhang, pray excuse me." He has no patience for Sect politics and formalities.

Wei Ying is waiting.

[literallydontlook]

The Unexpected (2/4)

You’re just not that interested in dating military men, nor have you ever been with an alien lover. But a chance Ascension Week encounter awakens something you didn’t know was inside. Chapter 2 of 4.

Pairing: Thrawn x f!reader

Rating: 18+

TW/CW: none (or if I’m missing something, please let me know!)

Tags: sexual tension, romance, slow burn, civilian reader, sexual fantasy, m@sturbation

Word count: 2k+

A/N: I know I said the whole thing is written, but I got sort of unhappy with it and thought I’d rewrite some. My Thrawn crush has sort of cooled so I couldn’t find the energy to do it. But! I am a woman of my word! Here’s part II, unedited, no beta we die like chiss. 

<-- Part 1 - The Trap

Part 2 - Friends

Dajmita had returned in the morning wearing last night’s gown, her makeup smudged from a night of sexual activity. Removing her shoes, she found you curled up in a blanket on the sofa. Your makeup from the previous evening in a similar state of disrepair.

“What happened to you?” she asked, putting her hands on her hips.

“I tried to take someone home,” you groaned pulling the blanket over your head.  She smiled impishly and then faltered, “Wait - What do you mean tried?”

“How do you do it? I took him to my studio for a ‘tour’,” your hands motioned in air quotes, “and he bought a piece of art and left.”

Dajmita was torn between laughter and pity. She sat down beside you and stroked your hair, pulling tangled pins out as she tried to sooth you, “Only you could miscommunicate a hookup.”

Your data pad pinged and you grabbed for it blindly from under the blanket. You groaned, “Aaa ugh it’s already noon?” You threw your legs over the side of the couch and dragged your feet to the refresher.

“Do you have to be somewhere?” Dajmita called from the other room. You washed your face and pulled the remaining pins from your head, then pulled your hair up into a messy half bun. You sighed.

“I promised to meet a friend for lunch,” you breathed out tiredly as you brushed your teeth.

“You could just cancel,” she pointed out.

There was only the sound of scrubbing as you considered this. Spitting out the foam and rinsing your mouth you decided you shouldn’t flake.

“No...I should go,” you sighed again, pulling off your gown and rummaging through your dresser for something comfortable to wear. Dajmita gave you a concerned look.

“Well, I guess you must be pretty comfortable with this person if you’re going out like that.” You looked in the mirror and shrugged. You grabbed a cloak and pulled the hood over your head, “It’s not like anyone wants to hook up with me when I’m dressed up anyway!” you cried out over-dramatically.

Dajmita crossed her arms, “Don’t say that.”

“Just let me wallow for one day,” you complained, dragging your feet out the front door, “I’ll be back later.”

She laughed, “Fine but you’re being ridiculous! We’re doing something fun when you get back!” she called after you.

“Fiiine!” you called back.

——-

Eli had already found a table at Dex’s Diner when you arrived.

“What’s with the cloak? Did you have a uh...rough night?” he teased, wiggling his eyebrows. You glared at him.

“Whoa sorry we don’t need to go into detail,” he raised his hands defensively. You buried your head in your arms, “Nothing happened.” Your voice was muffled.

He realized you were serious as you sat back up to give the waitdroid your order. “What do you mean nothing happened?” he asked incredulously.

You took a deep breath, your cheeks burning with embarrassment, “Stars I can’t be talking to you about this!” you cried out.

“Hey I’m not a little kid anymore,” Eli shot back. “You can talk to me,” he offered kindly.

“I mean, what more can I say? We went to my studio and he bought a painting and then left.” Now that some time had passed, you could laugh a little. Then a thought occurred to you.

“Is he married or something? Or anti-inter-species?” Eli’s face twisted in thought, “He’s definitely not married, but to be honest I didn’t realize he had a sexuality.”

“Oh.” you considered this, not sure if you should feel better with this new information. The waitdroid returned with your orders - the smell of grease inviting you to indulge.

“Well he wants me to install the painting he bought on his ship,” you said, jabbing at the mush on your plate. You received his transmitted instructions earlier that morning which only reminded you of your failure.

Eli stopped mid-bite. “He wants you to come to the Chimaera? ...In person? He didn’t ask you to hand it off to a stormtrooper at the landing dock?”

“Is that unusual?”

“I’ve never seen a civilian aboard a Star Destroyer. I don’t think you’re allowed...but then again, it’s his ship, so I guess he can sort of do what he wants,” Eli conceded.

“I’ll send him a message to confirm,” You said, your heart beginning to race again. Why do I feel so...excited? You push away the thought.

“Enough about Thrawn. What’s up with you? What are you doing here? Last my parents told me you were training to be a supply officer in the Expansion Region.”

Eli sat back and sighed, not sure where to begin.

—-

“You cannot get hung up on a random guy you don’t even want to date!” Dajmita spelled out loudly as she shook you by the shoulders.

“Please don’t yell at me.”

“I’m not yelling! I’m just making sure you hear me,” she huffed. “You’re so desperate for a fuck. This isn’t some failure you need to overcome. You said yourself this guy might be ace.”

“Well why would he ask me to install the art on his ship then? Civilians aren’t normally allowed,” you countered.

“Maybe he’s just really into art and wants to maintain the artist’s original intent- I don’t know!” Dajmita threw up her arms in frustration, “Why do you even care? You don’t even like military men. If you need someone to fuck, just ask Endel. He’d definitely do it!”

“You know I can’t lead someone on like that! I think he still has feelings for me!” you turned back to the mirror to finish applying makeup, “Ok does this look like I’m not trying too hard? I want to be taken seriously as a professional but like, a hot professional.” You stepped out of the refresher clad in workers clothes.

“I mean, if that’s what you’re going for...Like a carpenter from a pornographic holo vid,” she assured you. You looked down at your top, “Is it too tight?” You tried stretching your arms up to see how much of your mid drift would be exposed. You tried bending over, too.

“Oh yeah - just do that a lot,” Dajmita purred suggestively.

——-

The Chimaera was much bigger than you had ever imagined. Several Lambda-class shuttles were docked in the landing bay where hundreds of stormtroopers and Imperial officers buzzed about their business in an orderly rhythm.

You suddenly felt very self-conscious. Your civilian clothes drew more attention than you were used to and even the officer who scanned your security clearance regarded you suspiciously as he read your destination from his data pad.

“You have an appointment with…Admiral Thrawn?” He asked incredulously.

“That’s right. I’m installing a painting in his office.” This seemed to make sense to him, but he reached for his comm for confirmation.

“Sir - There’s a...female civilian here to install a painting?”

Thrawn’s voice came through the comm, “Yes, please send her up with an escort.” Still somewhat suspiciously, the officer signaled a stormtrooper to meet you and he wordlessly lead you to a turbo lift.

You were fascinated by the cold design of the starship’s hallways. Every surface was immaculate, each crew member walking with purpose. There was almost complete silence, only the sound of murmured conversations and footsteps hung in the air. The path itself was dizzying - turn after turn after turn - you weren’t sure if you could find your way back.

Just as you began to wonder what was behind all of these sealed doors, your escort stopped at one guarded by another trooper.

“Code cylinders,” he demanded. Your guide handed him a pen-looking object and clarified, “This is only for her.” The object was inserted into a keyhole, opening the door behind him. “Go on in.”

Your escort turned and walked away, leaving you to enter Thrawn’s office alone.

The sound of clashing metal and of exertion filled the entryway. As you pushed the repulsorlift cart into the antechamber, you saw a door opened to a bright sparring room where Thrawn was combatting two large sentry droids. He expertly dodged each attack, countering with his own. You couldn’t help the warm feeling rising in your core again as you noticed his muscular arms for the first time. You imagined them pinning you to the floor as he pounded into you, a strong hand pulling your hair back.

Just as you caught yourself mid-fantasy, Thrawn noticed you and commanded the override code. The droids returned to their stations and powered down as the door hissed shut. You weren’t sure what to do next, but the door soon re-opened with a hiss and Thrawn emerged wearing his uniform jacket.

“I apologize - I thought I would have a few more moments before you arrived,” he said, fastening the cuffs on his sleeves. “Please, come in.” He ushered you through another door leading to his office. A large desk was situated in the center of the room, two reptilian sculptures flanking the display shelf behind it.

Thrawn led you through his office to an adjoining living space. “I’d like the painting to hang here. Please let me know if you need anything.”

“Th-thank you,” You shivered, realizing it was significantly colder here than in the hallway. Thrawn noticed your nipples had hardened in the cold, their outlines visible even through the layers of your shirt and bra. It was going to be difficult to concentrate today. He excused himself as you unloaded your work and began dismantling the piece’s wooden transport casing. After almost half an hour, you were able to carefully free the painting, only to realize it was too unwieldy for one person to lift.

You found Thrawn in his office, carefully studying star charts at his desk. Another fantasy intruded and clouded your vision: sitting at the edge of his desk, the holos of planets splashed against your skin, your legs spread wide as he drank in your cunt. He tweaked your nipples as you moaned in pleasure, the danger of being discovered only heightening your arousal. You breathed in deeply to ward away the thoughts.

You cleared your throat and he looked toward you.

“Could I have some help?” you asked, expecting him to call another officer or trooper to assist.

“I’m at your service,” he said to your surprise. He followed you back into the other room.

“I just need a hand lifting this onto the mounting brackets,” you explained. Thrawn situated himself on one side of the canvas and you heaved it up together, guiding its hanging wire in place. Just as it was lining up, he stole another glimpse of you. Your shirt rode up slightly as you worked and his eyes lingered on the small sliver of mid drift that was becoming more and more exposed in your exertion. With a deep breath, he fought back his primal urge to lunge.

You both stepped back to evaluate the painting’s placement. There was a long silence.

“…Is it…to your liking?”

“Yes…” he mused quietly, “Thank you…I believe I still owe you…payment.” His last word was almost a purr and you flushed as you fantasized a another meaning. Did he notice?

You followed him into his office, where he unlocked a desk drawer and pulled out a bundle of credits. He handed them to you, your fingers accidentally brushing against each other in the exchange. He saw your jaw tighten.

“I’ll be stationed on Coruscant for the next few months. There’s an exhibit on Mandalorian folk art that I think would be…educational. Would you care to join me?”

So he wasn’t going to bend you over his desk and have his way with you. Perhaps he really was only looking for a companion to discuss art with - he obviously wasn’t getting that kind of engagement from his peers. You were disappointed but not heartbroken. After all, it wasn’t like you had romantic feelings towards him. You accepted this invitation to friendship.

“I’ve been looking forward to that exhibition myself. When do you want to go?”

[thewritetofreespeech]

Can you write brunhilde x fem!reader nsfw? I've been dying for some content of her 😫

You lay awake in bed. Staring up at the canopy and getting more annoyed by the minute, before you decide to get up.

It was late. So you’re quiet on your feet as you pad through the halls of the Valkyrie palace, towards a familiar door at the end of it past the bedrooms. Opening it with just as much care.

“Are you ever coming to bed?”

“This needs to be finished.” Brunhilde replied, not looking up from her life’s work in front of her. “It needs to be perfect.”

“It’s done now.” You remind her as you step further into the room. Tomorrow, if everything went to plan, it would be the start of Ragnarok. Brunhilde had been planning for this for centuries. Strategizing. Picking the best the eons had to offer her. Now it all came down to this. A simple yes or no if the tournament would actually start, and basically a coin flip on if they could win. “You’ll need your beauty sleep to impress the council in the morning.”

“How can you be so glib about this?!” The Valkyrie hissed at you. Finally looking up from her work for the first time in days. “Humanity is going to be destroyed! Millions, billions of lives wipes out in an instant because the Gods decided to make it so! How can you not be furious about that?!”

“I guess because I don’t know all million, billion of them.” You lean against the table by Brunhilde. The small of your back pressing into the ornate wood as you look at her with an even gaze. Yes, it upset you. Yes, it was horrible. But getting upset about this was about as futile as getting upset about a hurricane or earthquake destroying lives. Being mad at forces beyond your control was a waste of time. What was important was to do something about it. “I understand why you’re upset. And I’ve never tried to stop you in this ridiculous plan. You have a good heart, Hilde. You always want to change the world.”

Your lover blushed. Unbearably cute with her scrunched-up face and donned battle gear. “I don’t have a good heart. I just don’t like the Gods boasting their ideas on the fate of others.”

“Right.” You didn’t believe that for a moment.

You reach out to cup Hilde’s face and kiss her. You can’t stand it anymore. Her conviction. Her determination. Her adorable blush & pout as she insisted that this was about some higher purpose and not her incredibly soft heart behind her armor. It’s been too long.

Hilde whimpered into your kiss. Apparently feeling the same way too, and rose to meet you. Holding her felt so good after such a long time. “Are you sure you don’t want to come to bed?”

“I….I….” Hilde stammered. Seeming conflicted between doing her duty and doing you. Which was an achievement on your part. “I can’t wait that long.”

A smirk donned your face, taking it as a compliment and not a way out, before you kissed her again.

Hilde moaned this time. Going plight in your arms now as she gave up. Needing this probably more than you did as she set her burdens down for a moment and let herself enjoy. You planned to make the most of it.

Shifting away from the table, you move the two of you around so Brunhilde’s back as against the ornate wood, then lifted her up on it. She sits on her perch beautifully. Even warbling a little when you pull away from kissing her, but you just give her another smirk. You fall on your knees in front of her and hike up her skirt.

The skin of her thighs was smooth & white as cream. You kiss the soft skin on her inner thigh, feeling her quiver, as you move up to her apex. The Valkyrie expectantly opening her legs for your ascension. Panting and whimpering softly for your lips to touch her as she watched you move forward. And when you did, she moaned loudly. Head tipping back as that long blue hair pooled around her. In ecstasy already.

It may have been a while, but you still know all the places she liked with your mouth. Your tongue moving flat over her entrance before the tip flickered with her clit. Sucking on the hardening nub before fucking her with your wet muscle. By the time she was rolling her hips up to meet you, you slid to fingers in her to get the job done. Brunhilde squealing as you assault that spot in side her, while mercilessly licking her clit. She cums quick & hard. Her thighs pressing to the side of your head as she tensed up in pleasure. Her juices flowing over your tongue, which you happily lap up.

When she was finished, and let you head go, you stood up to meet her again. Smirking, this time triumphantly, as you look at her flushed face & wide pupils. “So, do you want to come to bed?”

“Yes.” Brunhilde replied immediately this time. Wrapping her legs around you and practically crawling into your arms as you hold her up & against you.

You head back to your room and make love for the rest of the night. Orgasm after orgasm eventually tiring Brunhilde out enough for her to get some sleep before the meeting in the morning; waking up vibrant and refreshed. Tomorrow you weren’t sure what the universe had in store for you both. But at least you had tonight.

[mintseesaw]

Aurora | 1

aurora - n. dawn Pairing: jungkook!general x reader!princess Genre: angst, fluff, historical au, joseon dynasty au, established relationship au, secret love affair au Warnings: heavily themed angst, mentions of corresponding punishments for certain committed misdeed, cursing Word count: 7.5k Summary: A story which centers on a forbidden love in the midst of centuries-long battle of power and greed. Disclaimer: based on King Sejong’s time but is fictional and not historically accurate Note: If you are not familiar with korean historical setting, you may refer to the translations I provided at the end of some terms used in the fic that may sound unfamiliar to some.

one | two

*unedited

Fate is a mere imaginary force, perhaps, created by entities living in this world, as fictitious as happiness, as treacherous as love. While hope brings you a strong faith of anticipation to the uncertain, the endless cycle of waiting only gives you the bittersweet acceptance in return.

There was no regret behind the years of your wasted youth amidst the inescapable obligation of being an object of possession under a political truce— the truth that you have to live from the guise of a royal birth.

You kept your promise, and until time and your royal duty comes in between, you will stay faithful to your words.

Two years after ascending to the throne, King Namjoon started establishing ports and posts alongside strict military power on the borders of Joseon. However, the immeasurable extent of the rising mutiny on the northern border further pushed the ruler to multiply the military presence on each border, of which was kept hidden from the commoners to prevent stirring fear in his constituents.

The news spread like a wildfire inside the palace, and into the households of the government officials, bearing in mind the warning the message it carries, it being a confidential matter.

When the king made the official pronouncement, the princes, and military officials, alongside the ruler’s advisors, were all present in the courtroom.

Learning about the king’s decision, Prince Taehyung ought to keep the news from the princess— the youngest child of the present ruling queen, the Queen Mother, and the late king.

However, the unavoidable presence of the court ladies who are serving the royal family, made it seem difficult to hide the truth from you. 

Two days after the edict was released, one of the court ladies, who happens to be a second degree cousin of General Jeon innocently shared the information to you, not knowing it will affect you, greatly. Your relationship with him has been kept for a long time, anyway.

“W-What did you say?” The same court lady, who was currently serving you a cup of tea, freezes midair as she caught up the tone in your voice. As you notice the reluctance in her expression, you didn’t wait for her to repeat what you had clearly heard the first time.

You rose from your seat with urgency, waving your hand in a dismissive gesture toward them as you quickly strutted out of your chamber. Although shocked by your sudden action, the servants quickly caught up with you, tailing behind as you took the direction to your brother’s study.

Shortly after, you arrive before his study, Prince Taehyung’s servants immediately bowed to you as form of greeting.

The prince was occupied on his canvas, determined to finish the piece before the midnight rolls when he heard Officer Sung announced the arrival of his sister. The brush locked between his fingers as he was about to stroke its end on the canvas halted midair.

When the doors flew open, he was met with your frown and a clearly disturbed disposition. He stood, abandoning his piece of work, waiting for the servants to leave them alone inside before he began talking.

“What brings you at this hour, little flower?” He asks in a curious tone. Deep inside, he already had a clue why.

“You knew, didn’t you?” You whisper, choking the tears that were threatening to pour onto your cheeks.

Taehyung stares at you for a while, surveying the hurt evident on your face before deeply sighing.

“I understand it would affect you this way.”

“Why didn’t you tell me? J-Jungkook… Tell me he isn’t part of the—“

There’s no use to keep it anymore when you already heard pieces of it. “The king designated him to lead the northern border.” He warily announces, although he knew it wouldn’t matter how cautious he’d reveal it because it would hurt you, regardless.

Your eyes widening, palms fly toward your mouth to cover your gasps, hearing the answer you hoped you wouldn’t hear.

You are aware of the suspected cases of mutiny on the borders and along the waters where traders and merchants meet. The political scholars do not keep these significant issues from you during your studying sessions, regarding the possibility of being a future queen of another nation, literacy in every field has also been supplied to you alongside your brothers, the princes and the king.

“Princess, it couldn’t be avoided. It’s Jungkook’s duty to protect our nation.” He tries to console, closing the distance to give a comforting hug.

“He is guarding the palace— the royal family… the king. Isn’t that a part of his duty?” You wept in his embrace, mumbling in despair, “He didn’t even tell me, do I not matter to him, anymore?”

“Hush, little flower. Of course, that punk loves you. Otherwise, he wouldn’t hesitate to leave the capital to carry out his duty.” He says, not releasing you. He could only hope he could take away the pain in your heart.

Among everyone living in the palace, it was only him who had witnessed how your love for his best friend has blossomed through time. Unlike Jungkook who had been admiring you from a far long ago, you shamelessly admitted your feelings for him when you were 14.

Several years later, Jungkook still owns your heart despite the complicated situation, and the path he chose to take only made it more twisted than ever. Jungkook’s father died while in his duty protecting the king against officials who once challenged the ascension. Following his father’s footsteps, he partook the military.

His decision deeply scarred you because it only means it will be impossible to marry him, unless the king has consented it. However, it is rare for a ruling monarch to allow such because it’ll only mean losing their birthright in exchange of their betrothal with a low-ranking official.

Little rendezvous, love letters and stolen kisses didn’t stop the two of you following Jungkook’s promotion as the general of the national defense a year ago. But today, the horrid thought of him being in imminent danger in the battlefield dreads you.

Prince Taehyung escorted you back to your chamber once you had calmed down. He didn’t want to leave you while you are grieving, but he figures you needed the time alone.

That night, you couldn’t sleep with the heaviness of your heart.

You need to see him.

“Your Majesty,” you softly greeted once you entered the courtroom, lowering your head with grace before lifting your eyes back up to the throne where the king was busy reading the council’s daily reports. 

He lightly nods his head, acknowledging your presence. “Princess, you should be resting by now.” It was late, and you initially went to his chamber only to realize that the king was still in the courtroom, fulfilling his duties.

“As you should, Your Majesty.”

The king smiled, listening to the delicate voice of his little sister. He realizes, he missed being graced your refreshing presence. He had been used to it before, you lurking around in the bookshelves in his study while he was occupied, searching for books which he had all read, asking him numerous questions about certain literary works you had grew fond of like himself until he was too tired to answer anymore. After ascending his throne, he is only able to see his family on special gatherings, unless they purposely visit him.

“Perhaps, you have something to tell your brother?” He inquires, his eyes remain on the scroll as they skim over the texts written in the paper.

With soft monotonous tone, you proceeded to speak. “If you’ll allow me, Your Majesty.”

“Go on,”

“I read a particular decree dated three days ago. I have questions, if you will hear me, Your Majesty.” You asserted generally to avoid suspicion from the other attentive ears inside the courtroom.

It was that time when he lifted his gaze to meet your nervous ones.

He turns to the eunuch who was quietly standing on your right, his side facing you. “Leave us.” Officer Han lifted his head, surprise to hear the sudden command of the king. He quietly obeyed, gesturing to the advisors to follow the king’s order.

“I see, you’ve learned about the news. I may have to order your teachers not to let you dwell much on these political matters. You are a delicate flower in our family and I still wish to witness you blossom more.” It may be necessary for you to have a clear overview on the politics for your future fate, but the king would want you to enjoy your time as the princess in your own home before you’re married off to another prince.

“I appreciate your care, Your Majesty.” You lower your head, lips quivering.

King Namjoon leans his back on his seat, scrutinizing the figure in front of his throne. It was not too hard to recognize the state you’re in, similar to the officials he meets here when they are being questioned.

“Princess, tell me what bothers you.” There, he used his brotherly tone, the one which used to be his way to coax you to open up to him before.

You stayed silent, thoughtful on how to address the purpose of your visit. It took a while before you gain the strength to utter the name of the man you dearly love. “General Jeon… w-will lead the north?”

Hearing your words, the king’s shoulders tensed. “We have talked about this before. Did you defy your brother to proceed your affair with General Jeon?” His expression hardens at your silence.

“I-I…” You stammer, eyes wide innocently.

He throws the scroll on his table, now fully directing his attention to you, drawing a long sigh like your father once did, when you were once caught wandering outside the palace.

“You did,” He confirms to himself in a whisper, before his head tilted back as his eyes momentarily closed to control his frustration. “I must punish General Jeon on your behalf.”

Your eyes widened, chills running down your spine. “Your Majesty!” You exclaimed, horrified by the king’s conclusion to the matter.

“The Great Queen Dowager is protective of you. Grandmother will not accept an order from me to punish you, herself, for your misbehavior. You are not to get involved with any man, ______.” He reminds you. Not only was the queen dowager adores the lone princess, but their father, as well.

You are aware of that. Perhaps, it was the reason why the palace, your supposed home, became a sickening form of solitude for you. You wish you had been treated the same way as your brothers, while they grew up in a rough setting as a form of their training, you envy their mental toughness aside from their trained physical skills and strength. Perhaps, it was the reason behind your father’s endearment for you, little flower. Because you’re a weak princess.

Being favored is not a privilege when you are expected to be good at all costs. Jungkook, despite the social status that separates you both, became your sense of euphoria. He allowed you to see the glimpse of his life, the horrible and ugly side of his life. He showed tenderness in his affection towards you, but he sees you beyond your status. 

Jungkook, leaving the capital to guard the borders without the assurance of making it out alive, will cause you in complete desolation.

A dull but prominent numbness spreads on the king’s heart as the air fills the suffocating silence, while seeing your welled-up eyes.

“Why the tears, little flower? You are making me feel like I’m a heartless brother.”

“Can you.. Can you stop him from leaving?” You falter, swallowing the lump forming in your throat.

“General Jeon already knew his fate, Princess. He will eventually leave the palace to be where he is— on the battlefield. Just like you are here in the palace. Why you have hoped in pursuit of his love, is beyond me.”

The tiny hope you carry before you have entered the courtroom vanishes along the feeble strength you gathered to control your emotions. 

Even with your crumbling facade, he continues to speak, choosing to be a wise king rather than your caring brother. “Heed my advice when I tell you your connection with General Jeon will do more harm to him than to you. The inner court will always be merciful to you, but the state council will not be as forgiving to the young general.”

The truth struck you harshly more than ever, pain swallowing you whole as the impact of his words resonated within you. You waited until the king dismissed you.

It was wrong from the start, you have hoped for it. 

Jungkook will never be yours.

In a rare circumstance, Jungkook has been staying in the Jeon household for three days straight. Because of his post at the north, the king was kind enough to give the soldiers some time off their duties, as if it is a farewell for their families. In Jungkook’s case, he doesn’t see it as his death. He sees it as his duty to protect the nation, and he’ll make sure to come back for his family, for you.

Jungkook is wiping his sword clean using a piece of rug cloth, killing some time off before coming to the palace to visit you in particular, a bunch of freshly picked peonies from his mother’s garden lying beside the stool where he was seated. He will give it to his princess when the sun sets under the guise of seeing his friend, Prince Taehyung.

His time off was duly spent through fulfilling heavy chores to help his mother. While she bought food supplies and new sets of threads and fabrics in the market for her weaving, he carried her purchases. After that, he did small repairs on the house to strengthen its foundation and trekked to the mountain to gather firewood, and luckily caught a few freshwater fish from the river along his way home.

He didn’t mind that his body is now covered with excessive perspiration or his grey faded clothes are stained with all kinds of grease and dirt there are. But when he caught sight of the familiar petite figure dressed in a simple, ivory colored hanbok in front of the household, he wished he had cleaned himself up when his mother prepared his warm bath earlier.

The thought, however, was briskly replaced with worry. 

His wide doe-like eyes locking with yours. His long and glorious legs only took a couple steps to reach your hand and drag you inside before closing the wooden barrier from any possible prying eyes.

“Y/N, what are you doing here?” It was the first thing Jungkook has said to you since you arrived. You’ve been standing there awkwardly for a while, watching him as he was in a deep reverie, hesitant to come inside in case Jungkook has other guests inside his home.

Your lips jutting in an adorable pout, “You didn’t receive my letter?”

You had no intention to raise the matter to him, because you’d like for him to believe you’re clueless so you could make the most of your time with him filled with good memories.

His frown slowly turns into an endearing smile at the cute display in front of him. “I did, I was supposed to meet you there. You can’t be outside, especially…” He stops mid-sentence for a moment, “I mean, you should have told me prior if you wanted to go out of the palace.” He gently prompts as he keeps a good amount of space in between, much to your displeasure.

You try to reach out his grease covered large hands, only to look up at him when he quickly steps back, maintaining the distance.

“What is the matter?” You question out of confusion.

He turns his head to the side, avoiding your curious stare. “I have not taken a bath, yet, Jagi.” He mumbles under his breath.

A smile slowly spreads in the corners of your lips, as a bubbly giggle resonates on your throat, “It’s alright, you don’t smell that bad.” You taunted, covering your nose with your palm to tease him.

“Y/N,” He whines, raising his arms alternatively to smell himself. The act only made you laugh even more, to which earns a playful glare from him.

“I’m kidding,” you managed to say when you finally recovered from your laughter, plastering a sweet smile which he could never resist.

He sighs dramatically, “What am I going to do with you?”

“Can I stay here?” You suddenly ask.

He stops in his tracks, uncertain if he heard you right. “What?”

“You’re right, I want to go out of the palace for a while. Will you accommodate me as a guest?” You shyly continue.

Jungkook stares at you in wonder. “Y/N, you know I’d gladly have you here if I only can.”

Maidens are not supposed to stay with an unmarried man under a roof, especially a princess like you.

“No one will know.” You try to convince.

“Your brother?” He prods, referring to the younger prince, his friend.

You didn’t say anything, avoiding his gaze.

“Love, you’re going to put us both into trouble.” He sighs, but silently giving in to your request.

Catching a beautiful bunch of flowers in sight behind him, you quickly averted your attention into it to change the subject, realizing there’s no point of pushing it further if he would not allow you to. “A-Are those flowers? Can I have a look?”

His eyes follow you as you’re left mesmerized with the flowers, similarly like he is to you. “They’re yours, love.”

“They are?” You repeated, lost in daze at the beauty of the light colored pink petals of the peonies.

Jungkook didn’t attempt to raise your previous concern, silently admiring you from a short distance. However close his proximity to you, it does not change the fact that you’re a thousand miles within his reach.

He’d never thought in his lifetime you would spare a single look at him, one day when you accidentally saw your brother and him were practicing through a sword fight. And when he thought it was enough for him, aware that you knew he existed, you bravely confessed your admiration to him weeks after.

Of course, he knew it was just a simple crush. He couldn’t entertain the infatuation you had with him because you were still young and your feelings would soon waver when you’ve passed the adolescence period. You would realize he’s far from the prince charming that you ought to marry, someday.

Perhaps, the memory he bears of the day he came from his military training could forever be engraved in his mind.

A bunch of letters sat on the table in his small room, to which his mother must have kept them there the entirety of his absence. Each letter was intentionally left unaddressed from the sender.

He knew. Just by the neat penmanship that indicates the person being literate, and the letters sealed inside envelopes in lavish colors tell him that the letters were from someone in a noble family. But what easily brought him to the conclusion of you having been sending the letters to his household while he was away is an image of a little peony grazing each paper just below the written intricate texts. Only the royal family and the attentive servants in the palace knew you’re the king’s favorite child, the little flower he calls in the royal family.

He’s not as fond of reading literary works like yourself. Like Taehyung, he sees paintings and portraits as the closest thing he could comprehend of in terms of art. 

It took him days reading every single one of the letters, and weeks before he had come to comprehend the underlying messages of the passages deliberately written in a figurative language enough to not only make his heart hurt but his head as well.

You longed for him.

The same fucking way he has been to you. There was not a single day that passed without the thought of you crossing his mind through the years. In this time of war, he should not entertain that side which could stir weakness from him. He should be a wise soldier, and for him to be one, he should forget you and anything that reminds him of you.

Through time, he had learned to admire you from afar while intentionally avoiding your longing stares to have you thinking that he doesn’t return your affection on him. He could not let you be aware of his personal struggles in order to keep a safe distance from you, he does not have the heart to make you suffer because of the hierarchical disparity between you.

Almost a year before the king died from an illness, you were abducted by foreign rebels who had had their way inside Joseon to gather and urge commoners from the inside to stir rebellion.

The danger you had come to witness yourself at a young blossoming age led him to reconsider his thought of allowing his feelings to be confessed to you. It would not last, he reassured himself. When your feelings for him have been exhausted, soon enough you would learn to forget him.

However, he only made the situation worse. Because for the past two years, nothing has changed, making it only harder for him to let you go. His dark, selfish thoughts buried deeply in him always manipulate him to persist, even if it means you will lose the life you have, your birthright.

~

After he had urged you inside a small room to rest while he cleaned himself up, he took you into the capital market. Sweet delicacies inside a folded linen clasp in his hand which he bought prior to arriving in front of a women’s shop.

The pure admiration visibly painted in your face over the numerous variety of hair accessories, and pieces of jewelry laid in front of you seemed to do the trick for you. He had not ever brought you here and he regretted not taking you here before.

Over the cumulative noises from the bustling crowd, you heard Jungkook chuckle. You took a peer from your side.

“You can buy anything you like.” Jungkook encourages, not knowing the internal war zone going on inside your mind as you survey the most beautiful things you have ever laid eyes on. These bargain accessories may not be as equally expensive as your own collections, but they are surprisingly immaculate and exceptional pieces.

You sadly smile, “I didn’t think of bringing any....”

“You have me.” He beams, showing several gold coins above the few notes inside his hand. Your face lights up.

By the time you were through, he barely had any currency left in his pocket. He could have felt remorse by how much all the accessories and jewelry you purchased had cost, but the satisfied smile painted on your face as the two of you walk hand in hand while eating the sweets is enough to make himself shrug away your lavish spending.

Jungkook recalls your request. The large and calloused pads of his fingers clutch your wrist, tugging your hand softly. “You’ll go back to the palace, right?”

Your lips only protruded, saying nothing to him as you kept going forward even when he already stopped walking.

“Y/N,” He tries to call but you only pretend not to hear anything. Three long strides were enough to catch up with you, taking one of your arms to turn you in front of him in a subtle manner. 

Sighing, you choose to break your silence. “I’ll find somewhere to stay—“ Jungkook already knew what you were about to say, so he cut you off.

“There’s no way I will let you out of my sight. It’s dangerous here.” He stubbornly argues back.

You weakly smile, “It doesn’t mean it’s safe there, either.”

His forehead creases, eyebrows meeting in a form of line.

The palace is the most heavily guarded state in the nation, but danger does not only pertain to swords and the opposition. It could mean other things, particularly the harm that could be inflicted among the royal family. 

“What do you mean?”

“You know what it is like inside,” you briefly asserted.

Jungkook pulled you into his embrace. He is aware of the extreme constraints inside the palace.

“I’m here, you can tell me what is bothering you.” He mumbles beside your ear, his hold tightening in your silence. If only he could change his fated obligation. Leaving you would be as painful as being physically inflicted with deep wounds, only that this feeling would not heal any time soon.

“I just feel lonely. It’s natural to feel that way when you’ve been isolated since the day you were born.” You expressed, meaningfully.

“The cruel world does not deserve a pure soul like you, my love.” He murmurs breathlessly.

You pulled back, stepping away to peer up from him. Jungkook caught the look on your face.

“Jungkook—“

“You’re not going to look for another place to stay. You’re out of your mind if you even think I’ll let you alone by yourself.” He says in a dismissive tone.

He’s right, after all. You would not want him to be punished if anything were to happen to you.

It was already dark while the two of you were still left along the way toward his household. The shining stars from your view give the moonless sky a breathtaking image of darkness and sparkles. You tug his hand, as you two reached the end of the woods, encouraging him into the nearby lake you recall seeing earlier.

The protective instinct of him surveyed the grass filled expanse before he succumbs to your offer. Through the peaceful atmosphere of the nature, a soft giggle naturally releases from you.

Jungkook didn’t speak for a moment, allowing you to enjoy the majestic beauty above. If it weren’t for him, the pitch black surrounding would somehow frighten you. The breezes swishing around and through your bodies get colder as the night progresses.

Through the darkness, Jungkook could barely make out the features of your face, but the subtle shivers coursing through your body didn’t go unnoticed to him. When he clasped his hands around yours, he felt the freezing contact of your skin through his palm. This led him to shift on his seat, pulling you on his lap.

“Jungkook…”

He only hums in response, rubbing your hands together through his palms.

“Can we stay here forever?”

Jungkook‘s chuckle resonates against your back, “If you want to, we can. I’ll even give you the stars from up there.” He jests.

Entwining your fingers with his, you leaned back in his embrace. “What if…”

“Hmm?” He encourages you, attentively waiting for what you will say next.

In a subtle, almost, innocent tone, you asked. “What if I want to be your wife?”

The answer is already there, dictated by your birthright and his duty. Truly a hopeless case. But it wasn’t patience that made you wait for him for years. It is hope, an endless amount of hope that led you where you are now. Him, your soulmate in this lifetime, and the truth as the main conflict of your life.

“You may lose everything because of me. You will hate me for taking you away from your life, jagiya.”

“I wouldn’t waste my time waiting for so long if I only care about the life I have. I’m ready... I’m willing to change if you will… h-have me.” You mumble in grief.

He didn’t answer for a while, letting his tightening hold around your body to speak for itself. It took all of him not to beg for your hand, and locked you in a secret engagement because it’s the only way he can make you exclusively his.

He doesn’t want to let you go.

Jungkook never uttered a word about his departure and you silently wonder if he will ever. Perhaps, that’s how it should end for the two of you. This may be the last time you’ll see him.

You really wanted to stay longer, here, even with the darkness sucking tiny hints of light as the night progresses. However, your stubbornness failed to match his persistence to get you home, in his own home. 

Once you two have gone inside his home, the thought of his mother and why she’s not around crossed your mind, though you chose not to speak of it while he prepares the dinner for the two of you. It was not long after you two had eaten and finished the stew and rice he cooked.

Your cheeks heated at the sight of him preparing your bath, embarrassed by the fact that you barely know a single chore other than preparing refreshment and herbal teas. Inside the vicinity of his home, Jungkook continues to disappear and reappear from here and there in long, rapid strides. You didn’t know what it was all about, confused at his sudden engagement to the chores. Until he laid the folded linen in your lap, that you silently realized it was for a fresh set of clothes.

He was attentive and patient as he made himself occupied while he waited for you to finish cleaning up. You’re not used to doing this in a different setting and you were relieved enough that you had dressed up alone without making a fool out of yourself.

When you opened the miniature door in the small quarter he showed you earlier, you found him on the floor crouching, preparing for your sleeping cot.

“Is this to your liking? It is not as comfortable as the beddings in your chamber and it’s—“

“Jungkook, it’s perfectly fine. Stop worrying,” You reassure, a smile slowly creeping into your face.

“It’s your first time to sleep outside—“

“It’s definitely not my first time.”

He stops dead in his tracks, blinking. “What?”

Amused by the growing confusion on his face, you prompt. “Will you stay longer?”

Jungkoo’s eyes widened a little, rubbing the back of his neck, nervously. Stuttering, “I-I… Y/N, you’re putting me in an awkward situation.”

You look at him incredulously. “We’ll only talk, you pervert.”

He tilts his head to the side, “Did you just call me…” He trails but you quickly cut him off.

“No, I meant handsome. General Jeon “Handsome” Jungkook.” A sweet smile stretches on your face.

His face slowly twists into a wide smile, shaking his head at your sweet but teasing answer. “You’re such a naughty princess.”

Two days later, the queen was bewildered to find the princess’ chamber empty. Every single servant under your care was interrogated. No one can tell where you were.

You were abducted, again. That was the only conclusion they could come up with in your unnoticed disappearance.

Except for Prince Taehyung. It would not take your servants two days to realize you’re missing. Unless, you have given them a specific order to hide your whereabouts from your family.

He immediately mounted his horse to rush to the Jeon household, to inform his best friend about the disappearance of the princess.

Somehow, along his way, there was a tiny feeling there that tells him Jungkook knew where his sister is. But seeing it himself, with his own pair of eyes, as the two of you were dazed with your own worlds, he was betrayed by his friend. He rushed towards their direction and swung his fist into Jungkook’s face.

A shriek broke out from you in utter surprise. With your trembling body, you struggle to get in between the strong, towering bodies.

“Orabeoni!”

“Fuck you, Jungkook! I trusted you!” Seethed Prince Taehyung, his hands fisting Jungkook’s collar.

“Orabeoni, please, stop it! It’s my fault,” you gasp, weeping helplessly. Taehyung was panting from anger.

“It’s all on me! It’s me who should be spanked!”

You exhale harshly, shuddering at the thought of receiving punishment from the Queen Dowager, but it’s what you deserve after putting Jungkook into this situation. And as if a magic wand was tipped in his direction, Prince Taehyung instantly stopped in his tracks, tilting his head to the side.

He releases Jungkook with a hard push, enough to make Jungkook almost lose his balance. Jungkook’s strength is incomparable. Compared to the prince in front of him, he was physically more built brought by his experience in the military. But the words that he just heard suddenly made his legs jerked, and as he regained his balance he caught a glimpse of fear in your eyes.

He couldn’t take it.

The prince stared at you. “You came to him?”

Jungkook steps in, “I took her in.” He attempts to shift the attention away from you.

Prince Taehyung darted his eyes back at him. “Shut the fuck up.” He sneers at the young general. Jungkook, however, does not seem fazed by his anger. He had seen a worse case than the wrath of a warm-hearted prince. 

Jungkook’s composed disposition didn’t sit well with the prince, to which is a stark comparison to the expression you transparently give away.

Clouded with anger toward the friend he has trusted all his life, Prince Taehyung dragged you out of the state.

“Let’s go,” he utters in a harsh tone.

Jungkook watched you helplessly as you’re being taken away from his reach. He could easily fight the prince to keep you safe in his home, but it would only worsen the situation. He had already anticipated the mess he had coaxed you to partake in, but not the ire of the prince. 

“Orabeoni, it’s not his fault. Please, don’t direct your anger at him. I wanted to see him before he leaves.” You attempted to explain while he continued to drag you away, far away from Jungkook’s manor.

He frowns, clearly dismayed by your escape, “You should have told me, I could have done something to cover you up.”

“I didn’t want to drag you into this mess.” You say with guilt seeping through your tone. His large strides gradually halted, turning sharply o face you.

“He took advantage of your weakness, Y/N! How do you think I’d react to see you with him all this time? In his home? Gods, were you not thinking? Do you know how your stupid actions would turn back on you?” He gritted, unable to control the emotions manipulating his mind.

He would later regret losing his control but he needed to say something, after what he had done for the two of you. He did his best to protect you and this affair. You just wasted all of your chances. It’s nearly over now.

“Im sorry. He didn’t. I-I... we didn’t do anything.” You blinked, finally realizing the mayhem you had caused.

“You should be, everyone will assume otherwise.” The prince only whispers through the air before bringing you home to the grieving queen.

When the royal prince and princess entered the palace, the queen’s eunuch who was awaiting for their arrival, immediately relayed the queen’s order to the prince. You didn’t know what it was about, until he led the way into the queen’s quarters.

In your admittance to her chamber, you were met with her anguished state, the servants immediately leaving the three of you inside to give you privacy.

Guilt courses through you, painfully listening to her worries. Her soft cries welled up your own . And you’re thankful that your brother was with you the whole time. Amidst his fury, he’s the one between you two who is in the right state of mind to console the queen while you were mentally breaking down.

Despite the queen’s effort to keep your escape a secret from the palace, the king had immediately learned of your return. Soon after, Officer Han came to her quarters carrying the king’s message.

You may have anticipated the king’s disappointment over your reckless action prior to entering his chamber. But nothing could have prepared you of what you would have your eyes to endure as the doors reveal the vicinity of the chamber.

Color immediately drains out of your face, your shrinking strength stutters your steps on your entry. Jungkook remained unmoving on his knees under the mercy of the king’s death glare.

The deafening silence becomes too much to bear, agonizingly waiting for the king to tell his piece of predictive condemning of your recklessness.

King Namjoon’s immeasurable dismay over learning the rumors has affected his rational capability to keep his focus on the more disturbing issues in the nation, particularly the rising tension in the borders. This matter should be the least of his concern, but his brotherly instincts ruled out the wise king in him. He deeply cares for his family, that includes his sister.

Your eternal faith over the young general’s affection may only validate his reasoning of refusing betrothal in a similar situation from his parents. The late king dearly loved the queen all his life, and until his last breath, his mother’s welfare was his dying wish, but to his surprise, it also included the princess’ happiness.

Seeing you in the trouble you have willingly created, he wondered what his father would do if he were alive. But he needed not to think further, because it is without a doubt that his father would be merciful to his favorite child. Perhaps, he should set his father’s wish aside for now and allow the princess to reflect on her lack of regard to her royal duty.

After a moment of deafening silence, King Namjoon’s painfully calm voice fills the frightening atmosphere.

“I warned you about this, princess.” He begins, the grief in his eyes flashes in a second before it vanishes with the coldness of his stare.

“Do you understand the gravity of your actions, Y/N?” He prods further, and somehow, his tone strangely sounds like the younger prince bearing the same amount of agony and frustration.

Your eyes only remained glued on the flooring, frightened to even dare speak or meet his eyes. You are already aware that what you did has stirred rumors inside the palace. And being here only meant you and Jungkook will face the inevitable consequences.

“General Jeon, I hope you understand my disapproval of you is nothing personal. I will make this easy for you as a relevant official in the military. I will let this thing go if you deny the rumors that you took advantage of the princess’ vulnerability.”

Your breath shortens, eyes squeezing shut, mortified by the severity of the situation. A weird feeling sits there in the corner of your heart, disturbing your thought process.

Despite the predictable outcome, Jungkook did not regret it ever happening, or allowing it to happen. However, your well-being matters to him other than his selfish reasons. To preserve the purity of reputation from the scrutinizing eyes of the palace women is all he cares of, as these predators could challenge your title for their personal interests.

Barely affected by the king’s wrath, he embraced his fate in the hands of his nation’s ruler. And as he finally spoke, he only proved your instinct right.

“My apologies, Your Majesty. I will gladly accept any punishment you may order, but I cannot deny that I took the Princess in my household.” Jungkook answered with a controlled tone.

Your eyes darted back at him, appalled by the manner of his admission as if it were his pure intent, “Jungkook! That’s a lie, I came to you!” You quickly interfered, convincing him otherwise. Panic audibly hinted in your voice, and even with your silent plea for him to take back his words, he dares not spare a single glance back to you.

With trembling hands, you turn to face the merciless king. You wish you could see the brotherly side of him, the one that cares for you. The one in front of you is nothing like your brother, but a king you wish he wasn’t.

Your lips quivering as you protest, “I chose to flee on my own accord, Your Majesty. He didn’t force me.”

But even with your words, his dark scrutiny was already fixated at the young general.

“Very well, then. Your betrayal to your king would only conclude your willful commitment to treason. Am I right General Jeon?”

Despite tracing no single emotion in his expression, his chilling voice manifests his anger.

Your frightened eyes went round. “Jeonha!”

Without hesitation, Jungkook willingly succumbs. “If it is your will, Your Majesty.” He expresses, refusing to see the horror in your eyes. If it means you will be pardoned from this mess, he will accept anything on your behalf.

A sharp gasp left your mouth, “J-Jungkook, w-what are you saying? You had nothing to do with this, it’s my fault—“

“Han!” You hear the king’s booming voice that made you stop.

Upon the eunuch’s entry, the king concluded your fate. “Escort the princess in her chamber. You are to make sure she doesn’t leave her chamber until I tell you. No one is allowed to see her but me, do you understand? I will deal with the queen dowager, myself.”

The shimmering tears in your eyes trickle down through your cheeks, “Orabeoni,” you helplessly plead, meeting his sharp glare, abhorring his callousness.

You could care less if you would be given a heavy spanking from the queen dowager, but Jungkook certainly didn’t commit treason. The king is not a fool to not understand that the scandal was caused by your selfishness but he chose to dismiss the truth.

Your eyes eagerly sought for Jungkook’s as you were being taken away. You need to see him, at least, for the last time. Jungkook didn’t turn on your way, not even when you disappeared from their sight.

After you were escorted out in the courtroom, the king simply ordered General Jeon to go back to his household and prepare for the military’s forthcoming departure. Even with utter confusion, Jungkook left the palace bearing the last image he had caught glimpse of you— he only hoped his last memory of you wouldn’t be replaced by your beautiful, bright smiles. He would have his way to see you, again.

The catastrophe has shattered you into pieces, and as painful as it deeply wounded you, you didn’t know it was all part of the king’s act to teach you a lesson.

The palace became tense for the past few days. True to the orders of the king, no other members of the royal family were able to reach out to the princess. Not until the worry of the queen became too much for her to bear. Realizing that the king does not have an intention to lift the punishment just yet, the queen begged the king, his son, to allow you to serve the extent of your punishment in her state in the east where your maternal grandparents live.

Whether or not the king has approved of it, you have no power to defy his order, regardless.

Few hours had passed since you had departed from the palace, the moving palanquin seemed to have stopped, until it flew open, revealing your personal servant and from behind— Jungkook!

Your servant stepped back, giving Jungkook a room to see you closer. What is he doing here?

“Jungkook, w-what are—“

“Hush, my love. I’m alright.” He reassures in between rapid intakes of breaths.

“You’re leaving…”

He surveys your face, brushing your stubborn tears away with his fingers, frowning. “I am, but your tears are piercing my heart, jagiya. You’re crying as if I won’t come back.”

You have high hopes he’ll survive the battle, but there’s clearly no hope for the two of you. You could sacrifice your title for him, but you can’t afford any adversity coming back at his tail for your selfishness.

“You’ll wait for me, Y/N?”

I will only give you misfortune, you silently thought further.

His forehead rests against yours, his eyes clenching shut as a painful smile stretches on his face. “I know… I understand you can’t. But I’d like to think you’ll be waiting for me when I return.”

With your harsh multiple nods, a sob uncontrollably releases from your throat, and another, and another, until the pain in your chest trickles up through your throat that your cries couldn’t be stopped any longer.

“Please, come back to me, Jungkook. I-I… I’ll be a good princess. I will go to the temple everyday to pray for you. And… If you… If you realize you don’t want me anymore— it’s fine,” you weakly smile, “I just need you to come back alive... for your mother, for Taehyung—“

“Marry me.”

Your heart suddenly stops, “W-What?”

“Be my wife.” Jungkook repeats with firm persistence.

“Jungkook, h-how— you’re leaving…” You stammer with the right words. He can’t, no serving military soldier in Joseon can marry the princess. Your brother made it clear to you.

But for the first time, Jungkook lied and promised you his world, the only thing you will never have in this lifetime. “When I return, I’ll marry you, if you’ll have me.”

With all the strength left in you, you nodded. “I’m yours, Jungkook.” You promised back, failing to recognize the obligation it weighs in your future.

Jungkook plants a longing, bittersweet kiss in your lips before he parts from you. Your eyes attentively watch his figure skillfully vanish from your sight.

I’ll wait for you.

terms

orabeoni - endearment used for older brother/sister jeonha - your majesty inner/internal court - a separate body in the palace governed by the female members of the royal family responsible to control the palace women’s affairs to which the king cannot intervene about queen mother - endearment used for the king’s mother/queen dowager great queen dowager - mother of the deceased king palanquin -  a covered litter/large box with two horizontal poles carried by humans as a means of transportation

>>

mintseesaw © 2020

credits to the rightful owner (Jeesung Kim) of the image used

[lonedivinity-archived]

[ yingjie ] voicelines

HELLO:  i’m yingjie  ,  surely you’ve heard of the rumors that go around about me  .  i won’t confirm or deny any of them  ,  that’s for me to know and you to find out  .

GOOD MORNING:  rise and shine  ,  new day means new adventures and more people to piss off  .  namely my father  ,  but that’s not anything new  .

GOOD AFTERNOON:  well  ,  look at the time . . . it’s late  ,  shall we grab a late lunch or maybe wait until dinner  ??  we’re going to need the energy for some nighttime mischief  .

GOOD EVENING:  haha  ,  that was fun  ,  wasn’t it  ??  the thrill of almost getting caught and running away just as we’re spotted  .  it’s good exercise after a large meal  .

GOOD NIGHT:  sleep well  ,  sweet dreams  !!  don’t forget our promise for tomorrow  !!

CHAT  —  IDLENESS:  are you thinking of a new adventure  ??  let’s brainstorm together  .

CHAT  —  TRAVELING:  you’ve never been here before  ??  oh  ,  i’ve got so much to show you  !!  forget the path  ,  come here  !!

CHAT   —  LIYUE QIXING:  a glorified authoritative group that thinks they’re just ALL that  .  yuck  ,  they’d be nothing without money  .

CHAT  —  SOCIAL EVENTS:  these are so droll . . . no wonder all the people that attend these are all so old and wrinkly  .

WHEN IT RAINS:  hey  ,  have you ever danced in the rain  ??  it’s a really refreshing feeling  !!  

WHEN THE SUN IS OUT:  this is the PERFECT day to go on an adventure near the plains  !!  or maybe take a short trip around the shores  ??

WHEN IT’S WINDY:  this wind . . . it’s great for setting sail  .  shall we go borrow a boat and go somewhere fun  ??

ABOUT YINGJIE  —  CHILDHOOD:  i wouldn’t call it a childhood  ,  it was more like . . . hm  ,  i’m not sure what the word is  ,  but it was just simply a lot of teaching  ,  words  ,  and swords  .  the only fun part was the explosions  .

ABOUT YINGJIE  —  INHERITING:  it’s not that i’m against inheriting the business  ,  don’t get me wrong  .  i wil  .  i juist want to have all the fun before i get stuck behind a desk and i can’t do as i please anymore  !!

ABOUT YINGJIE  —  RIGHT EYE:  ahh . . . my right eye  ??  oh  ,  stop waving your hand in front of it  ,  i can see your hand  .  it’s just not as good as it used to me . . . i was reckless when i was younger and it got struck by a flying debris when a hilichurl set off an explosive barrel next to me  .

ABOUT US  —  COMPANIONSHIP:  don’t worry  !!  as long as i’m around  ,  you won’t ever have to travel alone  !!  i’ll happily join you in any journey you have  ,  and you don’t ever have to worry about going hungry or lacking money  .

ABOUT US  —  SOUVENIRS:  i saw this in a market on my travels around qingce village  .  i thought it’d be something you’d like . . . here  ,  if you like this  ,  i’ll be sure to keep my eye out for more of the similar things  !!

ABOUT THE VISION:  it gives my father a headache knowing that if i act out  ,  i can burn down his entire warehouse and for that  ,  he’s cautious in reprimanding me  .  i gotta say  ,  it’s useful in more ways than one . . . though  ,  he has empty fears  ;  there’s no way i’d risk so many lives and inventory for a petty tantrum  .

ANYTHING TO SHARE:  the best view in most definitely in jueyun karst  ;  that’s the best place to see the sun rise and set  ,  to see the stars above the clouds . . . it’s so peaceful there  .  no wonder it’s so dangerous  ,  the adepti do have to protect their precious scenery  .

INTERESTING THINGS:  i once came upon a temple  ,  i somehow triggered the mechanism to open the gates and well  ,  it was quite the adventure  ,  can’t say i didn’t get lost in the maze  .  it took me several days  !!  there was no way to tell what time it was  ,  but man  ,  it was a thrill  !!

ABOUT BEIDOU:  captain beidou  ??  truly an inspiring figure  ,  i love her company  .  she’s taken me on a great adventure before and i hope to go again with her as a companion  .  she never fails to bring something interesting back for me or regale me in her tales over a good cup of strong liquor  .

ABOUT NINGGUANG:  . . . i’d rather not talk of her  .  i don’t think i’d have the best relationship with her  ,  i always try to keep our meetings short  .  she’s a difficult person to handle  ,  i’ll admit  .  even the most sociable have to admit defeat one day  .

ABOUT KATHERINE:  she’s really interesting  ,  i enjoy talking to the adventurer’s guild  ,  she always directs me to the interesting places in teyvat  .  they always have something new for me  .  the commissions they give me lead me all over the place  ,  that’s the reason i do it  !!  the fighting is just a bonus  .

ABOUT WEINA:  she’s a really eccentric doctor but she’s good at what she does so i keep going to her to be patched up  .  plus  ,  she’s good at keeping secrets and startling you awake with her cold hands  .  i wonder  ,  how come she’s always so layered up  ,  isn’t she hot  ??

ABOUT CARINA:  i’ve see this little lady walking around and looking very lost . . . i’ve seen her a few times at the gathering of the merchants  ,  but she doesn’t talk much  .  how curious  .  i wonder if her parents know that she wanders the city alone  .

MORE ABOUT YINGJIE   —  I:  if i wasn’t born a merchant’s child  ,  i’d definitely become an adventurer  .  who doesn’t love traveling around and seeing new sights  ??

MORE ABOUT YINGJIE  —  II:  i truly cannot fathom how people are able to sit still at a desk for so long  !!  it definitely is a learned skill that i do not have  .  ugh  ,  sitting for so long  ??  staring at so many words and numbers  ??  how does one really enjoy doing that  ??  unless it’s a rousing novel  ,  you won’t ever find me seated for such a long time  !!

MORE ABOUT YINGJIE  —  III:  i think i will reform my father’s company when i take over . . . i cannot stand how stuck in traditional ways they are  !!  nothing gets done if we do it the way my father did  .  how inefficient  !!

HOBBIES:  i do enjoy collection random trinkets  ,  from those chests and just random scrounging around  .  i discovered some of them sell for a good price  !!  that definitely spurs me to go adventuring more  . 

TROUBLES:  my father and his persistent guards . . . they think they can really keep me from leaving the house  !!  i’ve see the multitude of ways they’ve tried  ,  but honestly  ,  it’s getting rather tiresome of trying to get away  .  they’re getting too smart  !!

FAVORITE FOOD:  my favorite food  ??  noodles with mountain delicacies is definitely the one  ,  i had the pleasure of trying it on my travel to qingce village the first time and i’ve just been going back there for more  !!

LEAST FAVORITE FOOD:  i don’t have one  ,  i’m not a picky eater . . . as long as it’s edible and not suspicious  ,  i’ll eat it  .

BIRTHDAY:  it’s your birthday  ??  why didn’t you say so  ??  goodness  ,  i’ve got nothing prepared  !!  but the excitement is the spontaneity of things right  ??  lend me your day  ,  i’ll make it unforgettable  .

FEELINGS ABOUT ASCENSION  —  INTRO:  oh  ??  this feeling of power  ,  interesting  !!  does this mean i can get even stronger  ??

FEELINGS ABOUT ASCENSION  —  BUILDING UP:  a skilled warrior must always keep his skills sharp . . . like a blade  ,  without polishing  ,  it’ll just dull and become useless  .

FEELINGS ABOUT ASCENSION  —  CLIMAX:  amazing  !!  with your help  ,  i’ve gotten stronger than i can ever imagine  !!  i never knew i can achieve this strength  !!

FEELINGS ABOUT ASCENSION  —  CONCLUSION:  my dear friend  ,  curiosity never killed the cat  ,  it was the anticipation that did . . . so don’t hesitate to answer the call for adventure and remember to keep your skills sharp  !!

Battle and Exploration

ADDED TO PARTY:  care to go on an adventure  ??  /  need an extra hand  ??

ELEMENTAL SKILL:  watch your step  !!  /  all we need is some fireworks now

ELEMENTAL BURST:  you’re going to need some ice for that burn

IDLE:  (  same as the chats above  )

DASH:  where’s the fire  ??

GLIDING:  the sights from the sky is truly beautiful

DAMAGE:  didn’t see that coming

KNOCKED OUT:  i’ll never hear the end of this  /  how can this be  ??

[korpuskat]

Rating: Gen/Teen Word Count: 4,716 Summary: Kylo and the Knights must retrieve a limiter for your Lightsaber. You must oversee the newly reinstated General Hux- but how can you oversee the man who was once your commander? Contains: No serious CWs necessary.  New to the series? Start here.

=====

“We have the crystal, but it needs a limiter. It is on Vincul.” He says, pointing to a diagram in the <i>book</i> you had poured over for weeks. On the flimsi, a faded sketch stares back at you. You know well enough that your saber would need a limiter, that was not the issue. He already knows that. “The raw power of a kyber crystal is not naturally shaped as a lightsaber.”

You move around him and huff, “That doesn’t explain why I have to stay behind. It is <i>my</i> saber we need it for.”

“General Hux is being reinstated.” Kylo does not look at you as he moves about his quarters. He even spare you a look as he brushes you off. “The Supreme Leader wants a Knight to oversee him, to prevent any further unnecessary losses.”

“I’m <i>not</i> a Knight.” You spread your arms out, frustration manifesting. “I’m not even a <i>soldier,</i> I barely got more training than the engineers. I was a translator, I sat at a desk, I don’t know anything about war stratagem. How am I supposed to oversee him when I don’t know what I’m looking for?”

This time, Kylo turns.

You wish he was wearing his mask.

His stare goes cold from across the room, makes your arguments dissolve like bitter medicine on your tongue. Ice settles in your stomach- the sensation of running water over your hand. “Hux will not make any important decisions today-” You swallow, open your mouth to form some protest, but Kylo continues.<i>“And if he does,</i> you have training as a Knight. The Force will guide you.”

He stares you down with the gold-rimmed eyes, the straightness of his back daring you to continue to defy him. There’s no trace of the <i>softness</i> between you in his mind; his meeting with Snoke at the start of the cycle refreshed his carefully held control. How he can push those feelings so far down, you can’t understand. You know well enough they’re still there- itching to come to the surface, yet still buried under Kylo’s overwhelming will, his desire to find his place in the galaxy. There’s no point in arguing with him like this, no point in resisting his command. ”Alright, Kylo.”

You pull on the outer layer to your robes as Kylo puts on his mask. You watch as the mole-dotted face you’d come to love disappears under the anonymous metal. Your face reflects distorted in the chromium rings; you aren’t sure who looks back at you. He stands by the door, the subtle tilt of his mask the only sign he’s waiting for you. What other choice do you have- did you ever have?

In the hallway, officers and troopers alike step aside for Kylo’s storming pace. It takes little to touch one blonde ensign’s mind, to feel the cold terror and deeply hidden <i>curiosity</i>.

You can't blame her. You used to be one of them. Just one of a sea of matching uniforms, watching Kylo cut through the crowds like a dark knife, wondering who exactly was under that mask, if the rumors of his power were true. Now you follow in his wake, trailing through the hallways of the <i>Finalizer</i>. Maskless, you feel exposed- those that had been your shipmates become onlookers, spectators to your ascension to Knighthood. Some of them knew you-

They’d gossiped about Ren, about your relationship. What would they think when he kills you?

The crowd at the lift is already separated, but splits further as a wave of faces turn to look at the Master of the Knights of Ren and you. As they part, you see what had caused them to gather to begin with: on each side of the metal turbolift doors, stands two black-clad Knights. They turn towards you as you approach; Xeni's hands landing on her hips, accentuating the skewed angles of her robes.

Your blood runs hot at the sight of Enki Ren’s skull mask, tension gathers around your shoulders. Unbidden, the first tingle of power manifests at your fingertips.  The empty eye sockets don’t even look at you, focused entirely on Kylo. “Is it not wise to leave a trained Knight in control of this ship?”

Your nose wrinkles and you want so badly to be stronger, just to make him <i>wrong.</i>

“Are you questioning me, Enki Ren?” Kylo’s modulated voice makes you shiver, only in part from your last training session. Some part of you is still grateful that he <i>does</i> believe in you- or at least is pretending to. “Do you wish to join your predecessor?”

Any appreciation for him freezes. Any emotion falls from your face as the gears turn. Well-drilled training alone keeps you from projecting: <i>predecessor?</i> Kylo’s mask barely tips towards you, the barest tilt giving any indication he heard you.

Xeni’s mask slides between Kylo’s mask and your face, her shields held so tight you can't make out anything of her emotional response. Her squared mask is unreadable, but just barely angles towards Enki as he speaks again.

Enki Ren doesn’t falter, unphased by the hardly veiled threat. “Of course not, Master Ren.” You want to punch him. To knock that mask off his head and to rip those tentacles right off his face and-

“Then we shall go planetside.” Kylo's gloved hand retrieves your bounty from a hidden pocket in his layered robes. Against the black synthleather, the crystal pulsates, glows a deep magenta from within. “The crystal is... unique. Bonded to my apprentice and usually powerful. A limiter that will accommodate it will be on that planet.”

He hands the crystal to you, but you can barely take your eyes off Enki’s mask. As touch the kyber, your body becomes a circuit; power flowers through you, warm and familiar, makes your skin tingle from your fingertips to your shoulder. Darkness runs through your veins and you push it down, dropping the crystal into your robes.

Bootfalls click across the floor, crisp and pristine- and you don’t even have to brush against his consciousness before you feel the indignation wafting from his mind. “And I assume you have your mystical <i>Force</i> to thank for your intelligence?” Hux's clipped tone is familiar, grounding- you’d hardly seen him since the failure of Starkiller. Imagined repercussions had haunted him- and from all you knew of the Supreme Leader, his survival is as unexpected as his reinstatement.

As carefully guarded as Kylo’s response is, you’re just close enough to feel the irritation roll off him, yet it is Xeni Ren’s Force-voice that answers. “The First Order is <i>founded</i> on mysticism, General Hux.”

Hux flinches, his brow pinching at the strangeness of Xeni’s power. As removed as you are from Kylo's mind, the muscles around your mouth twitch as Kylo's lip twists and lifts at Hux's discomfort.

Any further confrontation is cut short; the platform rises through the transparent tube, black metal shining. The doors slide open and the three Knights of Ren step into the lift. Kylo’s cowl drifts as he turns to face outward- his mask dipping slightly, the only sign you have that he’s looking at you. You swallow and nod, whisper <i>be safe.</i>

The tip of his mask is hardly there, the only sign he's heard you. The doors slide closed, lowering the trio of Knights down to the hangar bay.

“Well then, <i>Knight,</i>” Hux spits, though you can hardly blame him, “we must oversee the bridge.”

“Yes, Sir.” The title bites at your lips, yet Hux hardly notices. You haven’t been a translator in a long time, even as you long for the ease of your previous life.

There’s no going back.

You follow at Hux’s heels; the lift just to the right opens. A handful of officers join you in the lift, greeting Hux with stiff salutes. They each look you over, then give you more space. You keep your eyes set forward, waiting for the indicator for your floor. The red lights click by, your weight shifting as the lift propels upwards- and you take a chance. The barest brush against Hux’s mind has your head spinning; thoughts race through, picking over the dozen things he has to do, a dozen times he prepares for your scrutiny, prepares for how you will try to interfere. A dozen ways he could fail.

You disconnect from him. The doors open, and from memory alone you make your way through sleek dark halls towards the bridge. It's almost how you remember it. It’s been some time since you’d last heard the bustle of techs and officers, seen the doors slide open and looked through the massive, triangular viewports. The last time- The last time the ship had been careening, blood spilling over your face, and Kylo had been--

Your head pangs in memory, aggravated by the increasing distance between you and Kylo Ren. His long time away with Snoke broke the worst of the symptoms of your separation, but you can still feel that strangeness- the empty, meaningless silence where he should be nestled in your skull, strong and dark in the Force-  as he drifts further down to the surface of the planet.

Your pace has faltered behind Hux’s and you shuffle to keep up with his brisk steps. The buzz of life, of activity around you is… stronger than before. Like every mind in the room, in the recessed area below- somewhere far away, they’re all speaking, all at once. You brow furrows, you scan the room-

“Distracted already, Lieutenant?” You startle, blink towards Hux. You flush at getting caught and- <i>Incompetent.</i>

A chill passes over you. You had worked so hard to impress Hux- tried to accommodate him and Kylo’s demands, stars, you’d transferred to the Finalizer on <i>his</i> order.

“The bridge feels different.” You say and pretend not to notice the derision in his eyes.

“How astute.” Hux motions towards an array on the port side of the room. “New shield generators were installed.” <I>after Starkiller.</i> The bitterness of his internal voice makes you wince- and catches Hux’s eye.

You nod quickly, “That must be it.”

The machines hum and vibrate beneath your feet, but they quiet when you close your eyes. You decide not to pursue it further.

You settle yourself with circling the bridge, giving Hux enough room to not constantly have his monologue droning on between your ears. All around you lights on panels flash, trained techs move across the controls, keeping the <i>Finalizer</i> just beyond Vincul’s orbit. And there, through the huge viewports, down past the monumental display of gray durasteel, the planet <i>Vincul</i> spins idly.

Its surface is covered in gray, churning storms, hundreds of miles across, hiding the low-built cities below their off-putting dark clouds. You shouldn’t worry, you know- Kylo has seen much worse than a <i>storm,</i> but you can’t help the sense of unease.

“General Hux,” A man salutes- and you hardly recognize him with how heavy and tired his eyes are. Mitaka hesitates and looks at you, the distrust rolls off him without you even having to brush his mind. Though you relate to his confusion on why, exactly, you’re accompanying General Hux, he corrects himself before he can raise Hux’s ire. “The Sector 8 Recon team has returned, they are ready to deliver their report.”

“Thank you, Captain Mitaka.” Hux dismisses him, though Mitaka waits a moment. He watches you, and you wonder what has changed, exactly, that makes Mitaka so uncomfortable now. He salutes Hux again and turns away-

Your fingers flex, your wrist turns- and Mitaka flinches as he walks. He presses a hand to his forehead- <i>-saved me before, but looks like him now…?</i> You break away from him. So long ago you had liked him, thought he was <i> cute.</i> Now what have you gained?

“I assume you’ll be attending this meeting as well.” Hux intones dully. You nod without looking at him. Mitaka walks back towards his post, still rubbing at his temples.

The debriefing room is smaller than expected, a few other officers gathered around a sizable holotable. A woman with dark hair pinned back taps at the controls. The officers already waiting step aside to make room for Hux- and the room quiets as they each, one by one, lift their gazes to look to you. That same unease slips over each mind, the whispers of <i>Who?</i> and <i>where’s Commander Ren?</i>

“Ren’s apprentice will be joining us.” Hux says, before his eyes harden and pointedly look at you. “The Knight is simply here to observe.”

You nod, he’s not… wrong. If Kylo was correct, there was little for you to worry about. This was simply to make sure Hux was still capable of handling his position, nothing actually serious.

You settle into one corner of the room as the pilot taps on the first star system. The map zooms, bringing up the circular display- an orange orb as the central star. “The Bedhal system had no signs of Resistance activity and is classed as low-risk. Karline,” She taps a lush, floral planet, which brings up another section of information. “Is still used for ground-based Stormtrooper training, but there is little other value in the system…”

You turn your attention away from the debriefing, casting a tendril of power out, and out- towards the faint signatures on Vincul’s surface. They’re far enough away the trio of Knights have blended together.

The holo moves back out to the multi-system map. The pilot taps a blue star. “The Scuulo system…”

You close your eyes, exhale slow. Kylo’s training passes over you: <i>Focus.</i> Count the inhale, hold it- feel the pressure in your chest. The life inside you, the power that flows in your veins, the immutable gray, pulsating with every beat of your heart-

And as you exhale, your hand moves of its own accord. The power reaches through the stars. Against the bright planet, teeming with innocent, unaware life, their signatures stand above the rest. They’re all together, in one city, each separated.

You ignore the blue and purples, seeking out Kylo’s comforting darkness. A single probe-

Kylo’s shielding rockets up, makes you recoil-

And his defenses relax. He says nothing, but the ghostly sensation of Kylo’s shoulders untensing makes your back ache. Shame takes you for a moment; you shouldn’t bother him. You both have your assignments… and you miss his presence beside you.

<i>Is it going well?</i> You try.

His hand tightens- dulled by his glove, metal bites into his palm, his fingers curled around something. Your hand mimics his, finding the ridges in your mind until you can picture the tiny cylinder in his grasp.

<i>Something is happening.</i> His Force-voice is dark and serious, the pride in finding the elusive limited negated in seconds. <i>Watch.</i>

Kylo’s shields snap closed- the disconnect so abrupt you gasp aloud, eyes snapping open.

A wave of eyes turn from the holo to stare at you, their emotional responses spitting annoyance, fear, concern- and your heart constricts in your chest. The pilot’s dark brows pinch together, eyes narrowing. Hux sneers-

And none of this is what has your mouth drying, your breath coming short.

The holo has changed. In the light of a blue sun, a planet teems with life, verdant and bathed in blood and <i>green.</i>

“Where is that?” Your voice shakes, hardly more than a whisper.

Hux can barely contain the indignant roll of his eyes, perfect teeth revealed as his lip curls. “Had you bothered paying attention, translator, you’d know it is of <i>low risk.</i>”

<i>Useless, worse than Ren--</i>

Your knuckle ache. Stupid, stupid and ignorant and stubborn- how can he not know? and you won't hide the bite in your voice this time. “Where?”

Hux’s eyes widen, the delicate seaglass wavering, one eyebrow raising in surprise- you'd dare speak against him? Rage replaces it in a snap- <i>Dare to upstage my meeting? </i>

“Varovani.” Heads swivel back towards the pilot again. “It was an outpost for the Empire. It was abandoned after the Battle of Endor, the New Republic never found it as far as we know. The First Order did not see it as tactically advantageous to recover and retrofit it. There's not any signs of Resistance activity in the system.”

A display of the outpost enlarged over the planet, a gray structure long covered in moss and decay- the info panel displaying words you can hardly parse.

“It’s important.” You swallow, “Keep a close watch on it.”

“What? There’s nothing of value there, it never saw any battle or resistance.” Hux spits.

Deep inside something pulls- the perfect, undeniable knowledge, that unwanted gift through the Force. It’s not <i>fair,</i> that orange-red grass had felt so real, the blood warm and wet and sticky-

“It will.” and that drives the knife in. So long fighting to create that future Kylo had seen and this- this is how it ends? Pain arcs through your palms, fingernails cutting to your palms. <i>No.</i> “There will be a battle there and we can’t-” You breath catches, <i>rage</i> boiling just below the surface. “We can’t let the Resistance win.”

Your chest heaves, your ears ringing- and the conference room is silent. Disbelief weighs over the room, omnipresent is the eyes that stare back. Except for one-

“...The RT Stormtrooper platoon has been on standby for a month.” Brigadier General Torosian lifts his chin, ignores the white hot glare from Hux. “An exploratory mission would be cheap enough, and the potential to recover Empire tech would substantially affect the cost/benefit ratio.”

“It’s an absurd fantasy.” The synthleather of Hux’s gloves creak as he motions vaguely. “The Resistance is not interested in Varovani and any tech we find will be thirty years outdated. I won’t approve of any expeditions.”

“Then Commander Ren will overrule you.” You step closer to Hux and his eyes are cold with fury. You would've wilted before him, but you can't afford to back down. You reach deep, think of every time you’ve witnessed Kylo in control- “Do you really want your first act after reinstatement to be overruled by a Knight?”

Hux’s jaw clenches, the muscles flexing under his fair skin. You don’t need to touch Hux’s mind to know how he’s cursing you. “Fine.” He turns on his heel back to Torosian, “A small unit, exploratory only. Focus on possible financial uses.”

Torosian nods sharply, makes a note on his data pad. “Yes, Sir.”

“Have you anything else to report, Captain?”

The woman shakes her head, “No, Sir.”

“Good. Dismissed.” Hux says, but does not move.

The tension in his shoulders only grows as each of his subordinates filters out, one by one. Torosian sneaks a look at you as he walks by, but you don’t bother reading his mind. You’re fairly sure what awaits you as soon as the last officer leaves and you are alone with your ex-commander.

And it is exactly as you expect. Hux turns towards you slowly, his hands held behind his back. The only display of his rage is the pinch of his brow, the tightness of his voice. “Do not <i>ever</i> threaten me in front of my men again. Kylo Ren may see something in you, but you are not a Knight.”

So many times before you had wilted to Hux’s demands. Yearned for his attention- the General in charge who had personally requested your presence on the<i> Finalizer. </i>

“You have not been my commander for a long time, General Hux.” Your voice shakes as you say it, but you must. That time has long passed, there is more on the line than just your commander’s approval. “You are in no position to tell me what I can do.”

His face smooths, his chin tipping up to look down his nose at you. His voice drops low and you can’t stop yourself from shivering. “Then you best prepare yourself to justify this pointless excursion to Leader Snoke.”

<i>Snoke.</i> Hux lingers just long enough to watch your expression falter. His lip pulls up just enough to smirk and you’ve never wanted so badly to slap him. With the reaction he wanted, Hux does not bother waiting for you as he leaves.

You understand now, why Kylo dons his mask.

You catch up to him just as his datapad dings. You don’t need to hear him speak to know what it says, what you missed in your risky outburst: the Force signatures have left the planet.

Hux stops to read the notification, but you stride past him, towards the lifts down to the hangar bay. “Coming, General?”

The scowl directed at the back of your head only makes you smile.

Against the backdrop of stars, the ship drifts, pivoting in place until its long wing extensions retract. Its image shifts, refracts as it passes through the bay shielding. The engines spit as they throttle down, the command shuttle lowering onto its landing gear, the boarding ramp extending. A mechanic, a woman in a gray jumpsuit with long, dark hair tied back rolls her eyes, sighs audibly at the engines' noises.

You know you should restrain yourself, all too aware of the relief you must be projecting, but you can’t quite bring yourself to bother. The clack of boots on metal makes your chest fill, and before you Kylo makes his way down, out of his ship. His cowl trails behind him, robes swaying with each step.

And two other pairs of legs descend the ramp. Every atom in you wants to collapse into Kylo’s arms, but any self-preservation you have left keeps you upright, your face falling into something hopefully neutral.

“I expect your mission was successful.” Hux says, “Because your apprentice has decided to make a mess.”

The chromium lines around Kylo’s visor reflect the stark lighting in the bay as his gaze falls to you. Even with your closeness, Kylo’s scrutiny still makes your stomach churn. In your pocket, you clamp your hand around the crystal, feel the energy flow through your palm. “It’s…”

Enki looms over Kylo’s shoulder, impossibly tall and staring down at you with his ghoulish countenance. You don’t need to be Force sensitive to feel that twisted grin at the mere <i>possibility</i> of your failure. Again, you feel that first curl of power around your fingers- and you direct it inwards. “It’s the green planet. <i>Varovani.</i> A recon team found it,” Kylo’s back straightens, his shoulders going stiff. You glance towards Hux, “and I advised Hux to send a team to investigate it further.”

Hux huffs, “Advised is-”

“So you use First Order resources to accommodate your fears?” Enki rasps, his modulator coming off deep and warbling. He takes a step forward, his heavy robes swaying- that skull mask moving ever closer, “Like a child, running from the inevitable.”

Kylo’s head turns sharply, but your chest is already frozen, suspended between terror and rage. “Enough, Enki.” He does not look to Hux as he continues, “My apprentice is right. This planet is worth investigating.”

Pride fills your chest- even as Hux grinds his teeth. Enki’s mask tilts ever so slowly toward Kylo, the empty eye sockets boring into Kylo’s back.

Xeni steps around them both and smacks Enki’s arm- you gasp. Hux’s eyes go wide. Neither of you breathe- and Xeni’s force-voice cuts through the silence. “Come on, let’s go, Enki. My robes are soaked.”

You can only imagine how Enki’s jaw clenches, but as Xeni continues walking, Enki’s massive shadow follows her.

Kylo’s mask tracks them as his Knights make their way to the turbolifts. Only when their dark robes disappear behind the shining black metal of the lifts’ doors, does Hux release the breath he’d been holding. His shoulders sag for only a moment before he pinches the bridge of his nose with his well-oiled gloves. Only when he’s taken a deep breath does he face Kylo again, “Then I suppose I have passed your inspection?”

And Kylo turns to you. You blink, look between them. Of course. You watched him, it’s your call. Hux knows it, too, yet he pointedly focuses on Kylo’s helmet. In your hands, Hux’s future waits for your decision. Is this how he felt, choosing to reassign you? Does it even occur to him, the power he holds over his inferiors?

Sweat never beads across Hux’s brow, his hands never shake as he waits for your judgement. He can’t hide the anxiety that rolls off his response, the way his heart beats heavy against his ribs. How <i>pointless excursion</i> runs through his thoughts over and over. Yes, you decide, he knows.

“Yes, General Hux commanded the bridge without incident. He is fit to be reinstated.”

Hux’s mind stops in its tracks, takes a moment to resume. He doesn’t know what to say- and settles instead for a single nod. He leaves, still numb, shocked-

“He disagreed with you. Tried to humiliate you.” Kylo’s modulator hisses. “Why?”

You press up against Kylo’s side- the dark fabric is still damp, but his natural warmth has saturated the cloth. You close your eyes, let your guard relax- reaching out to touch Kylo’s mind. He hesitates, but lifts his shields just enough. His presence calms your nerves, the worries of a green planet fading under his supernatural embrace.

“He’s capable.” You decide on. “He hated the Force before Starkiller and still hates it now… It’s honest. He won’t suck up to you.”

“To us.” Kylo corrects. He dives a hand into his pockets. In his gloved palm, a tiny metal structure waits. A shiny tube, threaded with ridges along the ends, the sides cut out, revealing a complicated inner structure. You take it, turn it over in your hands.

He guides you with one hand on the small of your back, leading you towards the lifts.

You don’t respond, hardly pay attention as you step into the elevator. <i>To us.</i> You’re a Knight- or soon will be. You’ll have a lightsaber, you’ll fight alongside Kylo Ren in battles. You’ll be stronger. Strong enough to handle it, to be what Kylo needs you to be. What you need to be.

The crystal in your robes pulses.

The doors open and you follow. You follow. Just barely trailing behind the Master of the Knights’ steps, leading you through the officers’ quarters. He stops before his door- and your heart stutters. The mask tips, his hand hovering over the touchpad.

You’re a Knight, you tell yourself. You can’t keep hiding.

<i>Kylo.</i> He opens the door and steps inside his quarters. He doesn’t move far, already reaching for the releases to his mask. You pursue him, chasing the cowl as it sways behind him.

He doesn’t face you- you don’t give him time. “You’ve killed a Knight before.”

<i>Yes.</i>

Your breath wobbles in your chest, choked up in your throat. You can’t go back. “Tell me.”

Kylo’s shoulders set, every muscle stiffening. Tension floods the room, would’ve suffocated you- and you reach out to him. The pads of your fingers touch the rough-hewn cape-

Kylo turns. The poisonous yellow ring of his eyes settle on you. “Why?” He snatches your wrist in one huge hand and you gasp, “What do you hope to learn?”

You open your mouth, but find no words. Kylo’s gaze pierces through you; heat of anger washes over you, but… Kylo doesn’t resist as you reach for him, splay your fingers over the black ripples of his surcoat. Beneath the anger- it’s something more and the iron will behind Kylo’s eyes waver. You close your eyes, lean into it, find that stream of thought just how you used to--

And it’s <i>anger</i> and <i>impatience</i> and he’s <i>tired</i> and it’s-

“Fear.” Your lips move on their own. “You’re afraid you’ll do it again.” Your rub your thumb over the seam of the surcoat, feel each thread against your skin. Your words catch on your tongue, but Kylo makes no move to answer. “I’ve been afraid so long.” And that yellow fades, Kylo’s long lashes lowering just a touch. You want so badly to touch his cheek, to trace where those moles connect over his face-- “I can’t let it control me anymore. So tell me.”

Kylo stays quiet for a long moment, his emotional response swirling and churning and all at once he nods. “Snow. His name was Snow.”

[fabelyn]

Heaven Official’s Blessing: Why Read

“By the Heaven Official’s Blessing, No Paths are Bound!”

Official Summary: 

Eight hundred years ago, Xie Lian was the Crown Prince of the Xian Le kingdom. He was loved by his citizens and was considered the darling of the world. He ascended to the Heavens at a young age; however, due to unfortunate circumstances, was quickly banished back to the mortal realm. Years later, he ascends again–only to be banished again a few minutes after his ascension.Now, eight hundred years later, Xie Lian ascends to the Heavens for the third time as the laughing stock among all three realms. On his first task as a god thrice ascended, he meets a mysterious demon who rules the ghosts and terrifies the Heavens, yet, unbeknownst to Xie Lian, this demon king has been paying attention to him for a very, very long time.

Some noteworthy comments: 

Main couple is MalexMale, no explicit content, fully translated (244 chapters), by the same author as Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation. Major themes: fate, human nature, limits of goodness and tragic consequences of one’s actions.

My add-on commentary to the summary: 

It’s not really a BL romance with a side of plot, but plot with a side of romance which happens to be BL (will get back to that later). It’s set in a world where outstanding individuals with outstanding deeds can ascend and become Gods (aka “Heaven Officials”). MC was the pampered crown prince of a rich nation, and ascended early. However, tragedy after tragedy strikes: war breaks out, famine, plague. MC fails to protect his kingdom and for his attitude is banished...twice. His closest friends abandon him, his subjects turn from worship to hatred of him, his parents kill themselves. From pampered prince, MC becomes a forgotten nobody, begging for scraps and a joke to all in Heaven. 

After 800 years (yes 800, MC gains immortality after first ascension) roaming the mortal realm in this situation, he finally ascends once more, now humble and self-deprecating. Between his desire to help and need to repay debts, he takes on heavenly tasks in the mortal realm (banish malignant spirits, solve mysterious deaths etc). Each new tasks seems darker than the last, and he slowly unravels unexpected secrets from the Heavens. Surprisingly, during his journey he is joined by a demon king, known to be ruthless and so powerful even the Heavens fear him, yet this king seems to want nothing more than to aid MC...

While the official summary does not manage to showcase this as well as the summary of GDC did, this story can get dark. It changes from very lighthearted (people fainting from MC’s bad cooking) to very tragic (the torture and deaths already mentioned). It has a lot of lore as the MC deals with not only other gods, but evil spirits and mortals.

One outstanding thing from this work is that it gives depth and limelight to many of its side characters, and all plotpoints are neatly tied in the end. the length of it (244 chapters) helps give the plot enough time to go great details and depth through its mini arcs that all culminate to quite the grand finale.

If the plot of the author’s most famous work (GDC) had a focus on misunderstandings and prejudice, this plot is about fate and human nature: how goodness can fail, as well as how experiences may or may not change people. It’s an Epic spanning Gods, Demons, Kingdoms, and over thousands of years of history.

(For those who have read Discworld, it's fun to note that the Gods/Heaven Officials here follow a similar system: belief is power. How many believers a god has can impact their wealth, power and even the gender they appear as. And lack of followers may even lead to death.)

On the romance: 

As said before, I see this as a plot with a side of romance that happens to be BL. This because while everything around MC goes through drama and tragedy and angst, the romance...does not. The romance is not the plot, that is to say, the plot itself is not about MC and his love interest navigating their love for each other; fighting then finally ending together. On the contrary; it is MC and love interest navigating plot that has nothing to do with their feelings, while MC slowly becomes enamored. However, it’s not possible to say that the plot would go on without the romance, as their love and working together is integral to overcoming many huddles.

In this sense, if you want to go read drama about romance, watch as two people fight, clash, misunderstand and slowly accept their feelings... this isn’t quite it, Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation would be better. The romance is always there, but as a wholesome, sweet and mellow counterpoint to the suffering and darkness the plot metes out constantly (oh yes: the bizarre severity of angst MC goes through is not just pure coincidence). There will be no love triangles, no relationship-breaking misunderstandings etc. You may roll your eyes at MC being a little slow to figure feelings out, you might groan slightly at a silly misunderstanding, but neither actually harms their dynamic. I loved it, as it felt like a refreshing change from the usual BL romance and certainly a very needed levity all the bad luck haunting MC. Plus, my favorite couples are those that actually click without needing to insult and fight a lot.

Do note, and I fear I may be spoiling a bit here, it’s not that there isn’t angst and tragedy surrounding the romance, but that it is, in a way, “over”. You can only understanding by reading. You will hurt over the romance, yet already be relieved of that pain by the time the plot hands it to you.

Personalities: 

MC: in the present is a calm, self deprecating man. Humble but with a heart of gold, willing to sacrifice himself for others. 800 years ago, he had a golden heart but was impulsive, prideful. You will read the plot wringing those characteristics out of him, stab by stab through flashbacks. Also, MC has extreme bad luck. Dice he throws will always roll ones, but if he needs it to roll ones, they roll sixes. Lighting strikes where he goes, no shack he lives in lasts a month...

Love interest (hereon typed as “LI” for short). I fear giving too much away, but do feel who the love interest is is very clear early on so: If LI was the MC, he’d be a Gary Stu, but as the love interest he is so fun. Very powerful, very knowledgeable, very rich, very skilled. Demons bow to him, the heavens fear him, mortals even worship him. However, he cares for nothing, has no interest in helping anyone, is sarcastic and acerbic and ruthless. Except for with MC, which he treats on a golden platter, never harms even a strand of hair and will literally give everything to him (MC causes havoc in is domain then burns his armory down and LI doesn’t even frown)

Side characters: there’s quite a few, so despite there being noteworthy mentions I’d rather not make this longer. Let’s just say plot explores, using side characters, misogyny, prejudice, corruption, trauma, complicated morals, unfairness of fate, revenge etc

In fairness, some personal cons of this:

I dislike usage of too much capslock to demonstrate shouting, this does that. For people who are not used to eastern style writing, this might be a little different. It feels better than GDC, but there is a propensity for narration to explain things that might not feel good for some. And naturally, tons and tons of flashbacks as you start off at MC’s 3rd ascension but will eventually read in detail how his 1st and 2nd went, along with the banishments.

TL;DR: GO READ. 

Completed translations are up at novelupdates

An anime will be coming out this year (2020)

A manhua adaptation is ongoing

[malibvnghts]

[ yingjie ] voicelines

HELLO:  i’m yingjie  ,  surely you’ve heard of the rumors that go around about me  .  i won’t confirm or deny any of them  ,  that’s for me to know and you to find out  .

GOOD MORNING:  rise and shine  ,  new day means new adventures and more people to piss off  .  namely my father  ,  but that’s not anything new  .

GOOD AFTERNOON:  well  ,  look at the time . . . it’s late  ,  shall we grab a late lunch or maybe wait until dinner  ??  we’re going to need the energy for some nighttime mischief  .

GOOD EVENING:  haha  ,  that was fun  ,  wasn’t it  ??  the thrill of almost getting caught and running away just as we’re spotted  .  it’s good exercise after a large meal  .

GOOD NIGHT:  sleep well  ,  sweet dreams  !!  don’t forget our promise for tomorrow  !!

CHAT  —  IDLENESS:  are you thinking of a new adventure  ??  let’s brainstorm together  .

CHAT  —  TRAVELING:  you’ve never been here before  ??  oh  ,  i’ve got so much to show you  !!  forget the path  ,  come here  !!

CHAT   —  LIYUE QIXING:  a glorified authoritative group that thinks they’re just ALL that  .  yuck  ,  they’d be nothing without money  .

CHAT  —  SOCIAL EVENTS:  these are so droll . . . no wonder all the people that attend these are all so old and wrinkly  .

WHEN IT RAINS:  hey  ,  have you ever danced in the rain  ??  it’s a really refreshing feeling  !!  

WHEN THE SUN IS OUT:  this is the PERFECT day to go on an adventure near the plains  !!  or maybe take a short trip around the shores  ??

WHEN IT’S WINDY:  this wind . . . it’s great for setting sail  .  shall we go borrow a boat and go somewhere fun  ??

ABOUT YINGJIE  —  CHILDHOOD:  i wouldn’t call it a childhood  ,  it was more like . . . hm  ,  i’m not sure what the word is  ,  but it was just simply a lot of teaching  ,  words  ,  and swords  .  the only fun part was the explosions  .

ABOUT YINGJIE  —  INHERITING:  it’s not that i’m against inheriting the business  ,  don’t get me wrong  .  i wil  .  i juist want to have all the fun before i get stuck behind a desk and i can’t do as i please anymore  !!

ABOUT YINGJIE  —  RIGHT EYE:  ahh . . . my right eye  ??  oh  ,  stop waving your hand in front of it  ,  i can see your hand  .  it’s just not as good as it used to me . . . i was reckless when i was younger and it got struck by a flying debris when a hilichurl set off an explosive barrel next to me  .

ABOUT US  —  COMPANIONSHIP:  don’t worry  !!  as long as i’m around  ,  you won’t ever have to travel alone  !!  i’ll happily join you in any journey you have  ,  and you don’t ever have to worry about going hungry or lacking money  .

ABOUT US  —  SOUVENIRS:  i saw this in a market on my travels around qingce village  .  i thought it’d be something you’d like . . . here  ,  if you like this  ,  i’ll be sure to keep my eye out for more of the similar things  !!

ABOUT THE VISION:  it gives my father a headache knowing that if i act out  ,  i can burn down his entire warehouse and for that  ,  he’s cautious in reprimanding me  .  i gotta say  ,  it’s useful in more ways than one . . . though  ,  he has empty fears  ;  there’s no way i’d risk so many lives and inventory for a petty tantrum  .

ANYTHING TO SHARE:  the best view in most definitely in jueyun karst  ;  that’s the best place to see the sun rise and set  ,  to see the stars above the clouds . . . it’s so peaceful there  .  no wonder it’s so dangerous  ,  the adepti do have to protect their precious scenery  .

INTERESTING THINGS:  i once came upon a temple  ,  i somehow triggered the mechanism to open the gates and well  ,  it was quite the adventure  ,  can’t say i didn’t get lost in the maze  .  it took me several days  !!  there was no way to tell what time it was  ,  but man  ,  it was a thrill  !!

ABOUT BEIDOU:  captain beidou  ??  truly an inspiring figure  ,  i love her company  .  she’s taken me on a great adventure before and i hope to go again with her as a companion  .  she never fails to bring something interesting back for me or regale me in her tales over a good cup of strong liquor  .

ABOUT NINGGUANG:  . . . i’d rather not talk of her  .  i don’t think i’d have the best relationship with her  ,  i always try to keep our meetings short  .  she’s a difficult person to handle  ,  i’ll admit  .  even the most sociable have to admit defeat one day  .

ABOUT KATHERINE:  she’s really interesting  ,  i enjoy talking to the adventurer’s guild  ,  she always directs me to the interesting places in teyvat  .  they always have something new for me  .  the commissions they give me lead me all over the place  ,  that’s the reason i do it  !!  the fighting is just a bonus  .

ABOUT WEINA:  she’s a really eccentric doctor but she’s good at what she does so i keep going to her to be patched up  .  plus  ,  she’s good at keeping secrets and startling you awake with her cold hands  .  i wonder  ,  how come she’s always so layered up  ,  isn’t she hot  ??

ABOUT CARINA:  i’ve see this little lady walking around and looking very lost . . . i’ve seen her a few times at the gathering of the merchants  ,  but she doesn’t talk much  .  how curious  .  i wonder if her parents know that she wanders the city alone  .

MORE ABOUT YINGJIE   —  I:  if i wasn’t born a merchant’s child  ,  i’d definitely become an adventurer  .  who doesn’t love traveling around and seeing new sights  ??

MORE ABOUT YINGJIE  —  II:  i truly cannot fathom how people are able to sit still at a desk for so long  !!  it definitely is a learned skill that i do not have  .  ugh  ,  sitting for so long  ??  staring at so many words and numbers  ??  how does one really enjoy doing that  ??  unless it’s a rousing novel  ,  you won’t ever find me seated for such a long time  !!

MORE ABOUT YINGJIE  —  III:  i think i will reform my father’s company when i take over . . . i cannot stand how stuck in traditional ways they are  !!  nothing gets done if we do it the way my father did  .  how inefficient  !!

HOBBIES:  i do enjoy collection random trinkets  ,  from those chests and just random scrounging around  .  i discovered some of them sell for a good price  !!  that definitely spurs me to go adventuring more  .

TROUBLES:  my father and his persistent guards . . . they think they can really keep me from leaving the house  !!  i’ve see the multitude of ways they’ve tried  ,  but honestly  ,  it’s getting rather tiresome of trying to get away  .  they’re getting too smart  !!

FAVORITE FOOD:  my favorite food  ??  noodles with mountain delicacies is definitely the one  ,  i had the pleasure of trying it on my travel to qingce village the first time and i’ve just been going back there for more  !!

LEAST FAVORITE FOOD:  i don’t have one  ,  i’m not a picky eater . . . as long as it’s edible and not suspicious  ,  i’ll eat it  .

BIRTHDAY:  it’s your birthday  ??  why didn’t you say so  ??  goodness  ,  i’ve got nothing prepared  !!  but the excitement is the spontaneity of things right  ??  lend me your day  ,  i’ll make it unforgettable  .

FEELINGS ABOUT ASCENSION  —  INTRO:  oh  ??  this feeling of power  ,  interesting  !!  does this mean i can get even stronger  ??

FEELINGS ABOUT ASCENSION  —  BUILDING UP:  a skilled warrior must always keep his skills sharp . . . like a blade  ,  without polishing  ,  it’ll just dull and become useless  .

FEELINGS ABOUT ASCENSION  —  CLIMAX:  amazing  !!  with your help  ,  i’ve gotten stronger than i can ever imagine  !!  i never knew i can achieve this strength  !!

FEELINGS ABOUT ASCENSION  —  CONCLUSION:  my dear friend  ,  curiosity never killed the cat  ,  it was the anticipation that did . . . so don’t hesitate to answer the call for adventure and remember to keep your skills sharp  !!

Battle and Exploration

ADDED TO PARTY:  care to go on an adventure  ??  /  need an extra hand  ??

ELEMENTAL SKILL:  watch your step  !!  /  all we need is some fireworks now

ELEMENTAL BURST:  you’re going to need some ice for that burn

IDLE:  (  same as the chats above  )

DASH:  where’s the fire  ??

GLIDING:  the sights from the sky is truly beautiful

DAMAGE:  didn’t see that coming

KNOCKED OUT:  i’ll never hear the end of this  /  how can this be  ??

[ccatvalentine]

murder house | pilot

introduction

Season 1 - Murder House 

Episode 1 - Pilot

word count: 2,438

1978 

Far above , the branches twisted like distorted limbs reaching out. The forboding tree reaching out towards you. The open gates, showcasing a gnarled, old looking- house and a young girl standing  on the front lawn

CRASH! A sound crashes as someone throws a rock at the window of an abandoned house and shatters it. 

Bryan jokes “Hey, Troy. You're a dork.”

“Hey, shut up. Hey, freak.” Troy insults.

On Bryan’s way to the front door, Bryan blows some kisses at Addie who stares back at him, keeping a straight face.

“Excuse me. You are going to die in there.” the mysterious girl warns.

 “Shut your mouth, or we're gonna kick your ass!” Troy says,angry at the girl.

Bryan “We got bats.”

Troy moans “I hate trees!”

As they enter the house, Addie chants “You're gonna regret it. You're gonna regret it. You're gonna regret it.”

Troy “Yeah!”

Bryan “Yeah!”

The boys smash everything inside of the house with their bats.

 “Troy” Bryan says he looks at the door.

 “Awesome, go,” Troy forced.

“No, you go, shithead.” Bryan says, not wanting to go first.

The boys go down the stairs, not knowing the dangers that they are about to face.

 “Check it out." Troy pushed.

They find a room full of jars filled with human's and animal's parts. Troy picks up a jar containing an ear and drops it. As a result, it shatters onto the ground.

“It stinks in here. It stinks like shit. You remember last summer when we get the raccoon stuck in our chimney? That's what it smells like. Let's go find it.” Troy says, disgusted.

“No, it smells bad... I'm getting out of here.” Bryan says.

Troy goes further into the room, poping his crackers, while Bryan turns around, up the stairs. Suddenly, the popping stops. Bryan stops his ascension.

 "Troy? " Bryan questions.

(A bottle rolls across floor)

 "Troy? Who's down there? Cut it out, Troy. Cut it out." Bryan asks again, scared. 

 Bryan finds Troy on the ground, his throat slashed while Troy is reaching out to him, unable to utter anything. Suddenly, Bryan turns around and sees a terrifying creature called the infantata, running in their direction.

As a result, Bryan starts screaming bloody murder as Addy simply stars back at the house.

‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵

18th July 2011

Ugh this is soooo boring, I don't know why my parents aren't divorced already, whatever, it's not like I care. 

 "Mommmm are we there yet?" I complain.

 " We'll be there soon honey. " mom says looking at me from the mirror thing.

Vivien : The light is different out here. It's softer.

Violet : It's called smog.

Ben : You should be excited, Vi. You can stop sneaking cigarettes and just start taking deep breaths.

Violet : I need to go to the bathroom.

Ben : We're almost there.

Violet : I need to go.

Ben : Vi, it's a freeway. Really, where do you want me to pull over? Maybe the Honda next to us has a bathroom or something.

Violet : Bet if the baby had  to piss , you'd find somewhere.

 "Hey! Don't call me a baby!" I pouted.

Vivien : Really? Violet, I hate that word, unless I'm saying it.

Ben : I'm really glad we named you Violet, instead of our second choice. Same with you Eve.

Violet : Which was?

Vivien : Sunshine.

"lol, cringe." Violet shoots me a ' wtf' look.

Ben : It's funny. Come on, you gotta admit it's funny.

‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵

Currently, we’re at the front of our brand new house and dad is ringing the doorbell.

Ben : I love it. Don't you love it, hon? I mean, it looks even better than it did online.

Vivien : Yeah, it's interesting.

“How about you Evelyn?” Dad asks me.

“I think it’s cool and superrr creepy. :) it’s totally haunted!” I beam while Violet keeps on thinking, ‘why does my sister have to be so creepy?’

Violet : Great. So we're the Addams Family now.

Ben : Hey, crabby pants. Come here.

Vivien : What are you doing?

Ben : Isn't this place amazing?

Suddenly, I see an old looking lady open the door.

Marcy : Welcome. It's a classic L.A. Victorian. Built around 1920 by the doctor to the stars at the time. It's just fabulous. These are real Tiffany fixtures. As you can see, the previous owners really loved this place like a child. They restored everything.

‘Tiffany, in that super cool famous store I see big celebrities like Lady Gaga buy and wear???!’ I think, amazed.

Vivian: Gay?

Marcy : What do you think?

Ben : Tiffany. Wow.

Marcy : Do you cook?

Ben : Viv is a great cook. I got her cooking lessons a few years ago, and she ended up teaching the teacher a few things.

Marcy : Cooking lessons... romantic. Aren't you a psychologist?

Ben : Psychiatrist. You said something on the phone about there being a study that I could use as a home office? I'm planning on seeing patients here, so I can spend more time with the family.

‘That’s kinda cool I guess : I wont have to deal with seeing the patients every day. Privacy, at last.’ I smile, happy at the idea.

Marcy : How refreshing.

(Vivien puts her dog down, and it goes running outside the kitchen, yapping)

Vivien : Violet, honey, would you go see where Hayley we-nt? Oh, never mind. Eve, try not to trip sweetheart!

“Hey fluffy, what’s wrong?” her eyes widen (she just came up with this) “I know! It’s ghost... spooky. 😃” Whoever the ghost was, decided to prank her by tapping her on the head lightly. “ Aaahhhh!!!” she screamed while running into her mothers chest while her mother was confused. Nevertheless, she’s pulled her daughter into a hug. “Mom! This shits haunted, so cool!”

Violet was used to this, username to her sister being obsessed and fascinated with scary things. Violet signed and went up to the dog,” What are you yapping at?”

That was soooo epic! Finally, I get to feel a ghost!!😊😃😀 im watching as the loser attempts to open a random creepy door, oh she’s done it, finalllly. I see her go in a bit and peek inside while she goes down the stairs. it's dark and creepy but whatever cool I guess.

‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵

I was walking back to the living room?? area. 

Vivien : This wallpaper is peeling over here. Looks like maybe there's a mural underneath it.

Marcy : The last owners probably covered it up. They were modernists. Speaking of the last owners, full disclosure requires that I tell you about what happened to them.

‘Wait?! something happenedddd???’

Vivien : Oh, God... they didn't die in here or anything, did they?

Marcy : Yes, actually, both of them. Murder-suicide. I sold them the house, too. They were just the sweetest couple. You never know, I guess.

‘omgggggg ghostsss!!!! i called it! 😉’

Ben : That explains why it's half the price of every other house in the neighborhood, I guess.

Marcy : I do have a very nice mid-century ranch, but it's in the Valley, and you're going to get a third of the house for twice the price.

Ben : Right.

Violet : Where did it happen?

Marcy : The basement. 

Violet : We'll take it.

‘:) operation find ghosts!’

‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵

Ben: Come on, babe, let's go to bed. Leave that for the morning.

Vivien : I'm a little bit worried about Violet, you know, these kids here are very different. I don't know if she can handle another year of not fitting in. Same with Evelyn, her friends at her old school weren’t a great influence on her.

Ben : You mean... you can't?

Vivien : Can't believe this place doesn't freak you out a little bit. 'Cause of what happened here?

Ben : My repulsion is tempered by the fact that this house is worth four times what we paid for it, so let's not think about it.

Vivien : This is your professional advice, Doctor, just denial?

Ben : Come on, let me give you a little love. Moving here, buying this house was the exact right thing to do for us and our family. It's a good thing and we deserve some good after all the shit we've been through.

Vivien : I've got some stuff I want to... unpack down in the kitchen. I appreciate that you're trying. I'm trying, too.

Ben : Okay.

Vivien : It's just gonna take some time.

‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵

Currently, I’m at the campus of my new middle school. I see a group of bitchy-looking girls out front.

Maria : Hey! Student council passed a rule against blowing bubblegum.

Katy : yeah, you could choke on it.

‘tf okay karen.’

“I'm new, I didn't know, sorry.” i roll my eyes.

Maria : What the hell is wrong with you? People sit here, they eat here.

“You don't know me. Why are you doing this?”

Katy : Maria's grandmother died from choking on gum, she takes this pretty seriously.

Maria : Eat it... eat it or I'm gonna kick the shit out of you.

“No. What?”

Cathy : Come on, , that's enough.

Maria : No, no, no, I want to see her eat it.

“No. No.”

Maria : Eat it, eat it.

Katy : Maria, seriously, she's like 10.

Maria tries to force me to eat the gum, but I take the gum out of my mouth and place it on Maria’s head. Maria screams.

Maria : You are dead! You are dead!

‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵

Currently, I’m peaking, leaning around the corner of my sister’s door.

Tate : This one I did after my dad left. I was ten, I think.

‘Who’s this?’

Violet : Last week, first day at my new school... sucks.

‘Ouch, that looks like it hurts.’

Tate : Westfield, right? The worst. I got thrown out of there.

Violet : I hate it here. I hate everyone. All there bourgeoisy designer bullshit. East Coast was much cooler. I mean, at least we had weather.

Tate : I love it when the leaves change.

Violet : Yeah, me, too.

Tate : Why did you move here?

Violet : My dad had an affair. My mom literally caught him in the act.

‘Yeah, why don’t they divorce then????!!‘ I acidentally slipped as i had been leaning into the door to much. oof

Violet: what are you doing here? wait, were u listening in on our conversation?!

“err, maybe?”

Tate: Who’s this?

“I’m Evelyn, Violet’s better sister, epic ghost hunter😼😎“

Tate smiles lightly, violet says, “whatever, come here.” she puts me on her lap while they carry on their conversatio 

Tate : That's horrible. If you love someone, you should never hurt them... never.

Violet : Right? I know. And the worst part is that six months earlier, my mom had, like, this brutal miscarriage. The baby was seven months old, and we had to have this macabre funeral. Have you ever seen a baby coffin?

Tate sits near Violet and gently touches her wrist.

Tate : I'm sorry.

Violet : Why are you seeing my dad?

Tate : Don't ask questions you already know the answer to. You're smarter than that.

Violet : Want to listen to Morrissey? He's cool and he's pissy and he hates everyone and everything.

Tate : Got any Kurt Cobain on that thing?

Ben : What are you doing in here?

I turn my head around and see dad by the door

Violet : Just listening to music, Dad.

Ben : You need to leave, Tate. I'm sorry. He shouldn't be in here, and I think you know that... please.

Tate : What's that thing you think I'm afraid of? Fear of rejection?

Ben : Stay away from him.

Violet : Dad, nothing...

Ben : You heard me!

Tate : No! Bullet, bullet, bullet!

‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵

im in the kitchen with mom eating some sweets and i see a women and a girl.

Vivien : I want you to stay out of my house.  Do you understand?

Constance : Can I smoke in here?

Vivien : No. Adelaide, answer me, please.

Addie : Can I pet your dog?

Vivien : No, Adelaide, I want you to stay out of the house. I want you to stop coming in and opening things up and telling me that I'm going to die.

Ben : She said that?

Constance : She says that to everybody. Say you're sorry, Addie.

Addie : No, they did it.

Vivien : Who did it?

Addie : The twins.

Constance : Shh.

Addie : Can I... pet your dog?

Vivien : No, Adelaide, listen to me. I want you to stop coming in here without permission. Am I clear?’

I wisper to mom, ‘why does she always come in the house, i can hear her a lot.’ mom just shrugs

Ben : Vivien.

Vivien : Am I clear?

Addie : Yes.

Vivien : Thank you.

Constance : Time to go, Addie.

Ben : Hallie!

Vivien : Are you okay?

Addie : She shouldn't have done that.

Constance : Sorry about all this. You touch my kid one more time and I will break your goddamn arm.

‘awkward, now thats a TRUE karen’

‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵

im at school and this bitch is trying to fucking fight me

Violet : I'm not scared of you!

Maria : Should be!

Kids : Fight, fight, fight!

i spit 

Maria: little bitch!

‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵

Vivien : Hey. Whoa. Come here. What happened to your face?

“Fell down.”

Vivien : Come here. Sit, sit, sit. Boy or girl?

“Girls. Three of em.””

Vivien : Hope they look worse than you do. You know their names?

“I'm not narking.”

Vivien : You know, we can easily move you to a different school. There are a lot of really good private schools right in this neighborhood.

“I'm not running away. I'm not scared of them. Not afraid of anything.”

Vivien : It's like that time in kindergarten, when you insisted that I bring you home from the slumber party 'cause all the other girls were sleeping without the nightlight on. I know you've gotten the short end of the stick, lately. This move, and...your dad and I haven't exactly been great to be around.

 “Why don't you guys get divorced, if you're so miserable?”

Vivien : We still love each other.

“ You could've fooled me. I thought you hated each other. Well, at least you hated him. I don't blame you. He was a shithead. Sorry.”

Vivien : It's okay. He was a shithead. You know, we got a lot of history. Your dad's been through a lot, I've been through a lot. Guess we need each other. What are you scared of?

“You said I'm not scared of anything, so... what scares you?”

Vivien : Lately? Everything. Life will do that to you.

[itsomgitsgreenblogging]

It’s Not Living (If It’s Not With You): A Critical Role Fanfic

Guess who’s back? Honestly, I have to thank the Essek Fanclub Server for this. You guys are awesome, and an amazing inspiration. 2019 was a pretty bad year in terms of my writing, but, it ended amazingly because of the Critical Role Fandom. Here’s to 2020! Have some hot wizard yearning and sexy dream sequences inspired by my favorite song by the 1975. 

Enjoy!

Warning: Explicit Sexual Content

Read it on AO3

Preview:

This was all because he hadn’t seen the Mighty Nein in a month. He was...getting all confused and acting like some sort of lovelorn maiden from one of the trashy Empire smut novels that he definitely didn’t read after he confiscated them.

“By the Luxon, let them come back soon, or else I might really go mad,” Essek muttered to himself.

“Where are they?” asked a courtier. The question was hissed at Essek as he paused in the Lucid Bastion, the green-lantern glow washing his face out to a pallid hue. 

“I do not know,” Essek said simply, with a smile, finding it better than lying. 

____

“Where are they?” Professor Waccoh grumbled at Essek, over the tops of the papers she had stacked on her desk. Reports, ideas, and death machines all found their place there, scattered like snowflakes or ashes amongst the heap. 

“I do not know,” Essek responded, still smiling. 

____

“Where are they?” the Bright Queen demanded, hand dripping with jewels glinting like knives in the light as she slammed it upon the table. 

Essek smiled, and shook his head. 

____

“Where are you?” Essek asked the empty house, but the windows remained darkened. It stared back into him, searching, and he didn’t have a response. 

____

“Will you be long, Shadowhand?” 

“Not too long, but I do wish for some privacy,” Essek told his shadow with a sidelong look. In the next moment, the shadow disappeared. For a moment he remained outside the temple, just relishing the stolen moments of being alone, before slipping inside the building without any further delay. Really, it was better to get this over with. 

The Temple of the Lord of Light that was closest to the Bright Queen’s abode was a lavish affair. The ceilings were crowded with rows of geometrically patterned lanterns that cast a glow that could be hard for Essek’s eyes to handle. Carved into the walls were the sculptures depicting the mythology of the Lord of Light, His Glorious creation, the Vanquishing of the Spider Queen, and the Ascension of the Bright Queen. Along that were prayer altars that various drow and other citizens of the Dynasty huddled by, to light their own candle and pray. Often when one saw Essek float by, they bowed their heads out of respect for him. 

He approached the private praying rooms, and as he did so he apparently caught the eye of one of the clerics. Essek recognized her as Derise, one of the head clerics of the Lord of Light. Though he loathed to do so, he dispelled his levitation magic. His heels clicked as they touched the floor. Clerics could be touchy about the appearance of power in their sacred spaces, and many of those with power among the clergy did not like him for a litany of reasons. He was young, not of one of the storied bloodlines, rather recently adopted in comparison to others, and yet he had gained remarkable power within his first life. They didn’t like him because he wasn’t one of their little puppets and he knew all their secrets in a way that perhaps only the Luxon might, and that made them afraid of him. 

(Though he didn’t wish to think of them, it was part of the reason he had found certain members of the Mighty Nein so refreshing. Religion without certain pretenses had its own charms.)

“Lord Shadowhand,” Derise said, pointedly not bowing her head. She held her head up high instead, as if issuing him a challenge. Essek, instead, smiled as he usually did. He curled his fingers behind his back in a display of complete openness. 

“Lady Derise, I pray the Light finds you well on this day,” Essek said, not bowing because he was certainly still wearing his back brace. Instead he inclined his head an inch. A vein jumped at her jaw. Amatuer, Essek thought derisively. 

“And may it find you well, too. It is a lovely surprise to see you haunt these halls,” Derise said, with a tight smile. “I am sure the Bright Queen will be pleased to hear you are working on your religious studies today.” 

“Matters of security tend to keep me from my spiritual needs. A bad habit of mine, unfortunately.  The Bright Queen understands, of course, being the leader she is.”

“The Bright Queen is certainly accommodating with her favorites,” Lady Derise said, looking down at him from her nose.  

“I am afraid that I am far too stubborn to be accomodated,” Essek laughed lightly as he walked forward only pausing to look back at her. “Your daughter, however, is a very accommodating creature. I know she was so pleased about her cousin’s engagement to General Dozall, that is how she ended up at his house at the witching hour.”

“That--it was---” Derise sucked on the air like it had been punched out of her chest. she coughed hastily, like being caught on her own deceit was physically painful. Really it was pitiful when those older than him were so easily tangled in the web. He almost felt bad for her. Almost. But it wasn’t in his nature to pardon stupidity. 

“Hm? Well, all’s well that ends well,” Essek said evenly. “You really ought to go to a healer. I can always have one of my shadows escort you, just like they did for your daughter. It wouldn’t do to have you in trouble, my lady.”  

“I am too busy to entertain bad jokes, Lord Shadowhand,” Derise said, her tone clipped and icy. “May the Light keep you.” 

“And may it keep you as well.”

Derise stormed off. Essek found the royal prayer chamber, which he was allowed to use due to his position as Shadowhand, off of the main cathedral. It was a beautiful chamber with lofted roof painted with images of the constellations and the sun and the moon. In the center was a large fountain, portraying one of the first lives of the Bright Queen holding her arms aloft with the dodecahedron, about her were creatures of the forest and behind her was the fountain styled as a waterfall. It was popular among artist renderings of the queen to have her placed like that, though the fountain of youth iconography was a bit on the nose for him. Essek enjoyed the arts, but hadn’t had time to properly commission something since he had his portrait painted. 

He cleaned his fingers within the blessed waters, before kneeling before the altar. He cleared his mind, closed his eyes, and prayed in Undercommon, 

“Oh Glorious Lord of Light, You who were first in the Universe and Master of All Creation. Keep me and bless me, in this life and my future lives. Let Your glow illuminate the darkness inside, so that I may reach new heights. Show me the way as you did Our Most Righteous Queen, so that I may never be led astray. Let me pray for ascension, for consecution…” 

There was the sound of delicate footsteps upon the marble and rustling fabric. Essek opened his eyes and looked to see the Bright Queen. As always she was arresting to look at, today fashioned more like a river-bathed-in-moonlight. She was without the armor she tended to wear at court, but adorned with a necklace made of platinum and blue topaz that clasped high at her throat and spilled across her skin like the tide. He began to stand, but she lifted her hand and he remained where he was. 

“Your recitation of the Book of Madark is quite beautiful,” the Bright Queen remarked, looking towards the altar with the deeply fervent expression she always did. “I always did prefer Madark. He made me sound quite grand.” 

“He never overstated your glory, your majesty,” Essek said honestly, bowing his head slowly. 

“Madark was quite in love with me, I’m afraid,” the Bright Queen sighed, smoothing out her dress that shimmered like the scales of a fish. “Quite boorish about it too. I do not like men who overstay their welcome.” 

“Or women who flirt and swoon,” Essek added before clearing his throat, “And the glorious star herself, may She guide us forever. Our Eternal Blessed Queen, who Heralded the Truth. Beauty Incarnate, who sets the heart ablaze with a single look-- ” 

“Oh, the Book of Terawane. Ghastly stuff. I always told her that she was much better suited to singing than to writing. So melodramatic,” the Bright Queen said with a long-suffering hum. “I can bear it when you recite it, Essek. But do not make me listen to the High Priest give his lecture of how my breasts are twin fawns and my lips are a violet ribbon one more time.” 

“Are you asking me to sanction his disposal?” Essek asked, taking a seat beside her. 

“Nothing so dire,” the Bright Queen laughed, her voice silvered bells upon the marble and high ceiling. She looked into the fire of the candlelight thoughtfully. “No…” 

Looking upon her, he often wondered what she felt. She had achieved perfection, she was the umavi. And yet as the firelight danced across her cheek, Essek wondered if she ever tired. She broke his revelry with a tap of her fingers against the stone bench. 

“I’m sure you need no news,” the Bright Queen said. “The Mighty Nein have met with King Dwendal after being missing for so many weeks.” 

“I was aware.” 

“What do your shadows tell you that the human arcanist did not? Was it right to pull back the assault do you think?” 

“Yes, it was. It was the cultists who were utilizing our assault to better their aims, we have confirmed reports of a Priestess of the Dawnfather being in cahoots with the conspiracy, and the Mighty Nein dispatched her. Now they work to broker peace. They are being asked to coordinate a parlay between Empire and Dynasty, by giving us back one of the beacons. In their private talks, they are anxious about finding a neutral location, but have not seemed to betray us. Though, Beauregard did state she infiltrated us to get closer to the enemy.” 

This was all really just a formality. She knew what he knew, and he knew what She knew. Just another part of the game, Essek thought. The game in which they would all be winners or they would all be losers. It would be up to the Mighty Nein, and the prospect was somewhat terrifying. 

“Just that claim is enough for me to have them killed on sight,” the Bright Queen warned him. 

“Considering the slipshod job they did of infiltrating us, I find it very likely and compelling that they are just saying what they need to say to retrieve the beacon. That was the assignment given, and that seems to be what they are doing. Besides, they did not hinder our operatives while in the Empire.” 

“One of the reasons you amuse me so is you are such a delightful pacifist,” the Bright Queen said. 

“So long as it amuses you, your majesty.” 

“You would be all I wish you to be, then? Have you no thoughts of your own?” the Bright Queen dared. 

“All I have ever done, and will ever do, I do to serve at your leisure. I am just one of the voices you allow to fill up your ear. However, considering you chose and continue to choose to fill it with mine, it gives me some hope about where your opinion lies.” 

“And where is that?”

“The long game, your majesty. It would do the Dynasty no good to rip the Empire out by the throat, utterly decimating their population and society. It would only serve to prove the Empire’s propaganda right, and move the masses against us. Instead, we take the high road. We show the Empire citizens we are not the monsters they claim us to be. And then, slowly, we can...improve upon their society,” Essek said simply. 

“You care for the masses.” 

“I must admit my bias for the common people, no matter their country of origin. At my core, I am still very much the street rat Skysybil yanked off the street.” 

“And does it not concern you that they haven’t messaged?” 

“I’m sure they are just busy, saving the world and all that,” Essek stated. 

"Are you sure you are not just lonely for your wizard pet?" The Bright Queen's asked.

"This is far more amusing," Essek promised with a smile. 

The Bright Queen's considered him. She reached out to cup his face and turn it up towards the candlelight. Essek blinked rapidly, but was docile and allowed her to do what she wished. 

"Tell me something that no one else knows, Essek," she commanded him. 

"I have no secrets from you, your majesty," Essek said, unable to help the way his head tipped to the side in curiosity. "What would you have me tell you?" 

"I would have you look at me, unhindered by the mask you wear," she bid him, her fingers running in his hair. "And tell me your feelings, uninhibited. Do you believe that I am in the right?" 

"With all of my heart," Essek said without hesitation, "I believe in you, for you are my sovereign."

"And you live to serve me, of course. But do you trust in my judgement?" 

"I do, but I do not trust those who may seek to influence your decisions. You are divine, my queen, but not infallible. Though I am devoted to you with all of my heart, I will do my best to change your mind should I think you wrong.” 

"With most of your heart," the Bright Queen's corrected, releasing him. "I hope you don’t take me for a sentimental idiot. You are a mortal, and your desires are that of a wild young foolish creature."

“I’m sure it seems that way.” 

“They cannot be changed, my dear Shadowhand,” the Bright Queen said mournfully. “My nation will only ever be safe when the Empire has been decimated. It is within their nature to expand and conquer, and even if we broker a peace now it will not last.” 

“If you believed that, I would be out of the job,” Essek informed her. 

“Perhaps,” the Bright Queen stated. “But for now, what can we do besides pray?” 

Between that breath and the next she was gone, leaving him in the prayer chamber alone. 

 _____

"Will you require anything else, my Lord?" 

Essek looked up from his reading to see one of his servants. Essek smiled at him, and watched as the servant relaxed minutely and settled the tray with tea by the bedside table. This one was a newer hire, an assistant to the cook when he wasn’t completing general housekeeping tasks though Essek had the sneaking suspicion he would prove to be a better cook with time. It was important, to know and cultivate your assets. 

“No, Amald, you are dismissed for the night,” Essek said. “Tell your wife I send my regards and well wishes to her health. She is with her third, yes?”

“And ready for the end of it, I’m afraid,” Amald said, tusks showing with his smile. “This pregnancy has not been easy on her. Our Denmother believes the birth will be difficult too.”  

“Well, I shall send for my personal healer then,” Essek said, closing his book. He held up his hand at Amald’s immediate attempt at response. “Do not worry about the cost, I shall take care of it. Consider it my gift to you and your wife, and a favor I may ask repaid.” 

“Of course,” Amald said his voice rich with feeling and gratefulness, bowing so deeply that Essek was worried he would topple over. “You are most kind, my lord.” 

 Essek blinked at the sight, fighting off his frown easily. Essek often enjoyed compliments. He was handsome, talented, shrewd, powerful, generous any number of things. Kind though? Not one of the usual ones. 

“Until tomorrow,” Essek said, and Amald took off. 

Essek enjoyed the remainder of his tea, a wonderful blend of ginger, licorice root, peppermint, and chamomile. He always found going into a trance so much more pleasant on the tail-end of nice tea and a good book. He could almost hear his Denmother lecturing him about the importance of trance, after collapsing with exhaustion during his first year of his education. 

Essek slipped into bed, laying down among the sheets and pillows. It was always easier to trance when he wasn’t sitting, or his back would protest. He listened to his heart beat, to the breath in his lungs, felt the way his ribs moved beneath his skin, fell deeper...deeper…

He was in his Denmother’s salon. Not his Denmother yet...at least not on paper. Mathulsda Theylss was frowning at him severely, looking him up and down as if all his faults were written upon his features and could be categorized accordingly. 

“Smile in a way that doesn’t make you look like you swallowed a frog,” his Denmother scolded. Essek’s reflection looked back at him. A sixteen year old Essek looked annoyed at best, contemptuous at worst. “Smile.” 

“I don’t want to smile,” Essek snapped at her. 

“You are lucky you were born in this era, boy,” his Denmother scoffed, leaving his side for a moment to take a sip at some wine. “Or you wouldn’t have a choice about what was done with your pretty face. You were the one complaining about the way they treat you, listen to my advice or don’t bother to complain.” 

“How is smiling better going to help me? They hate me because they think me common,” Essek demanded, and was given a pinched cheek for his question. She released him and he held his cheek, glaring at her. 

“No, they hate you because they know you are anything but common,” she said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. She looked at herself in the mirror, and Essek looked at her reflection and saw the transformation. She was truly arresting, in the way she smiled and turned her head just so. “It is easy then, to change hatred to love. You suss out those who hate you, and then you go to their friends. You find their weaknesses and can exploit them easily, because there is nothing for them to hate about you. Your professors will adore you, and will teach you all you wish to know. The noble dens will look at you and say, what a wonderful boy. The Bright Queen will favor you. Forget how to frown, Essek. That horrid little street urchin you were doesn’t exist. You are pretty, pleasant, considerate, and you smile. It is no longer a mask you can slip on and slip off when you play your childish little games with Skysybil. It is who you are now, forever.”

“I’m not like that, that’s not who I am,” Essek said, staring at himself. “I’m…”

“Essek Theylss is,” she said softly, as if it were a mercy. Her hands were upon his shoulders. “If you wish to be Essek Theylss, it’s who you will become. If you cannot get along with them, if you cannot make allies and cannot play the game, we have no use for you. There are other children with talent, though maybe not as talented as you, but they can become far more useful to us if you will not. So? Are you willing?” 

Essek watched his own reflection as he schooled his face into a soft smile. It fit onto his face cleanly, naturally, as if this were the way he was always meant to look. Maybe it was the way he was meant to look. Maybe she was right. If this was what everyone wanted then this was for the best. The Denmother patted his shoulder, in a mockery of fondness that tore that thought out by the root. 

“Very good, Essek,” she praised, standing in front of him to fix the collar of his uniform. She was taller than him, looking down at him with cruel delight. “Isn’t that so much better? We must always look our best, don’t we--?”

Wake up!

Essek tore himself out of that trance, jerking up so fast that his back twinged. He pressed his hands to his face, taking a few moments to just breathe. He knew better than this, Essek thought, thoroughly annoyed at himself as he lay back down with a huff. A trance was a fluid state, a visitation of memories or dreams affected by waking emotions and thoughts.  Bad thoughts led to bad memories or dreams which led to bad trances. 

“All I have are bad thoughts,” Essek said as he breathed out to the ceiling, resigned to his fate. There was just too much jumbled together in his mind, too much worry. 

Something you don’t know? Essek thought crossly. I miss the Mighty Nein, their shenanigans and their quirks that make me feel like I am not altogether that odd and that I have my life in a workable order. I don’t believe that I have a mask anymore, there is only this. I don’t know how to be without a smile. I don’t even know what it’s like to be that person anymore, but I feel as close to it as I ever have when I am with Caleb Widogast of all people. I want them to like me. I want him to want me, whoever that is.  

Essek continued to breathe, though he felt that it was a struggle. He needed to rest. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t be as sharp as he needed to be. 

Rest, Essek told himself, forcing his eyes closed. Rest.

Entering into a trance again, he was greeted with a dark space. It wasn't unpleasant, but it was a comforting absence. It was a night sky without stars, the inside of your eyelids, the feeling of being underwater, in the warmth, in the bath--

"Essek," Caleb murmured. 

Essek was in bed, somewhere comfortable and soft. A weight on the bed next to him, a body pressed deliciously to his as if searching for warmth. This wasn’t what he wanted, Essek thought dizzily. He wouldn’t be able to rest like this, not when his body suddenly felt so alive. 

“Essek,” Caleb called again. There was a dip in the bed, the sensation of being straddled, a press of a kiss to his neck. Essek shuddered at the soft touch, the way he was being kissed like he was precious. Like he would shatter at a harsher touch. He gasped as his eyes fluttered open. 

“Oh,” he sighed, reaching up to touch Caleb’s face, brushing across his cheek with the back of his hand. Caleb leaned into the touch as if he chased it. His eyes were the powdery blue flowers painted in the mural on their barbarian's wall, regarding him with a tender, searching expression. The emotional whiplash almost took Essek right out of this, but he was anchored by the feeling of Caleb’s body against his. 

“Will you stay with me?” Caleb asked him, catching his hand. He nuzzled it sweetly, causing goosebumps to ripple across Essek’s skin, before cradling Essek's face in his hands. Caleb didn’t smile as much as he should, in fact, Essek had gotten the distinct impression that Caleb had long since gotten out of the practice of smiling. But he would look so lovely, if given the opportunity. Essek’s traitorous heart told him that perhaps he would be the one to offer those opportunities, if Caleb would let him. 

"Yes," Essek said, managing to get the word out from his heavy tongue. Caleb managed to remedy that problem by dipping his head down and catching Essek in a kiss. Essek tipped his head, to deepen the kiss, to let it linger as long as he could. To feel the imprint of teeth and the stroke of the tongue that left him tingling all over. Essek trailed his fingers over Caleb's bare arms, feeling the hair there, the rough criss-cross of scars against sun-worn freckled skin. 

They kissed and explored each other without worry or haste, until Essek lay breathless beneath Caleb, allowing Caleb to pamper his skin with attention, to lavish him with his desire in a way that had him shivering. Essek couldn’t untangle himself from Caleb, from his legs or his arms, and he didn’t want to. Essek was caught there and he never wanted to escape from Caleb’s arms. 

"You are so beautiful," Caleb whispered, nipping his collarbone. Essek's breath caught in his throat. 

Essek regarded Caleb through a half-lidded gaze, memorizing the exact way Caleb’s hair escaped his tie, and the constellation of freckles dusted across his nose. The adorable little human curve of his ear, the human thickness of his body. Essek had seen the way that others looked at Caleb, with a desire that soaked in one’s skin like a warm summer rain. It made Essek covetous and proud, because Caleb had eyes for him.  They were a well-matched pair, in Essek’s opinion. 

"Please, do tell me what you find so beautiful about me," Essek bid him. 

“Smug,” Caleb chuckled. 

“I am merely asking for the facts of the matter,” Essek told him, sitting up. He climbed into Caleb’s lap, something very bold and daring for him, but it was nice to be somewhat taller than Caleb in that moment. Essek found the shell of Caleb’s ear he had previously admired, tracing it with his lips and the barest brush of his canine, letting Caleb shudder under his touch. He curled his arms around Caleb’s neck, looking deep into Caleb’s eyes as he pulled his head back with the softest tug. Caleb bared his neck to him easily, so easily submitting to the touch, and it set upon Essek the fire of desire “Tell me, be a clever boy and tell me what I want to hear.”

 “You are the most powerful and beautiful man I’ve ever laid my eyes upon,” Caleb groaned, moving their hips together in a way that made Essek shudder. “I need you. No one else could ever compare to you, Essek.”

“Yes,” Essek gasped, feeling Caleb hot and hard and longing against him. It was driving him crazy. He had spent so long without a lover, without sampling the pleasures of flesh. He hadn’t needed it, and he hadn’t missed the few and sparse flings of his youth. They had been bare-boned things that couldn’t even be called romance, a simple almost instinctual satisfying of urges, a useful distraction, a way to utilize his pretty face to get what he needed. Knowledge, power, the game of politics had been so much more entertaining, and intellectual curiosity being quenched was so much more satisfying. People were easy to manipulate when they were kept at an arm’s length, it was so much easier to smile when there was nothing at stake. 

But this? This was something else entirely. He couldn’t even control his body, couldn’t think through the haze of desire.  He resurfaced and had to have pushed Caleb underneath him, because suddenly his hands were digging into his shoulders and his hips were moving desperately to the staccato rhythm of his heart as Caleb dragged him harder and more deliciously against him. Pleasure tore him open, it filled him up, it was so good--!

“Look at you,” Caleb moaned, pressing his flame-hot hands against Essek’s belly. “So lovely, so beautiful wrung out like this, just for me. What a treasure you are…” 

“More,” Essek demanded, not sure how much longer he could last but wanting to wring out this moment as long as he could. Everything was on fire, on a pin-needle edge, but he wanted to be greedy. He wanted all the things he couldn’t allow himself, all the things that Caleb could give him and that he could give to Caleb in equal measure. 

Oh by the Light, they were making love. The realization made Essek lightheaded, it made his back arch with the intensity of the sensation, it sent his teeth on edge. He would be ruined for everything else, Caleb would ruin him, but he had to give in. 

“You are exquisite,” Caleb gasped, reverently, desperately--lovingly and then he gave in to the pleasure, forcing Essek over the edge with the intensity. Essek wilted upon him, no more strength in his limbs to hold him. Caleb stroked him through it, with him. For a few blissful moments, there was nothing else in his mind. 

Slowly though, he emerged. Essek peppered Caleb’s face with kisses, curling his leg around him, burying his face into Caleb’s shoulder and his soft, fragrant hair. Caleb’s fingers scratched the back of his head, in a way that made him sigh with sated pleasure. 

“It is time to wake, Essek,” Caleb chuckled, voice amused and hazy with warm gentle lovemaking. 

“No,” Essek grumbled, more firmly pressing himself to Caleb. It was a stubborn childish thing that well in his chest, but he didn’t care. In that moment, completely divulged of his mask, he just wanted to be selfish.  

“Yes, it is,” Caleb said wistfully, and as Caleb gently stroked Essek’s back in soft comforting waves that drew him deeper, further...softer…

Essek resurfaced having drooled into his pillow. He sat up and looked at himself in the mirror, at his mussed bed-head and very inelegant splotches across his cheek and--his dream! 

His face burst into heat, he grabbed the closest pillow, buried his face into it, and bit into it hard to stifle his scream. Oh by the Light! Had he reverted back into his second decade? He thanked the Luxon and all the Gods above and below for the gift of living alone. He didn’t think he had ever been so mortified in his entire life. 

“I’ll never be able to look at him again,” Essek said mournfully, spitting out feathers he had managed to rip out with his fangs. He brought his blessedly cool fingers up to press to his hot cheeks. 

This was all because he hadn’t seen the Mighty Nein in a month. He was...getting all confused and acting like some sort of lovelorn maiden from one of the trashy Empire smut novels that he definitely didn’t read after he confiscated them. 

“By the Luxon, let them come back soon, or else I might really go mad,” Essek muttered to himself. 

His reflection in the mirror seemed to agree. 

[theonyxpath]

Hello everybody!

We’re all back from last week’s company-wide vacation, and I’m happy to report that our crew are rested and rejuvenated! Sometimes, you just need to block out all the work stuff, no matter how much you enjoy it, and let your creative batteries recharge.

So, now that we’re back – what’s going on?

We are in the They Came From Beyond the Grave! Kickstarter’s final days! We’re closing in on both the pledge totals and number of backers from the They Came From Beneath the Seas!‘s KS, so we could really use your help in spreading the word!

If you know a fan of 70s horror movies, of TV’s Dark Shadows and Kolchak: The Night Stalker, of Victorian vampires: let them know that we’ve got a game that can be played as straight-up horror or can be played for laughs!

And all you need to play is in the one book, but by backing you get the added Stretch Goal projects like Monsters From the Crypt, the book of antagonists that we are $1000 away from adding a third section to, and the Tales of Depravity scenarios book!

So spread the word, and if they need extra incentive, go ahead and have them click on the link to the actual play we did at our online con: https://youtu.be/qLEFXntIa3g

The children of the night salute you (when they’re not making what music they make)!

Titanomachy art by Andrea Payne

What Did We Discuss At The Meeting Today?

Well, first, we went over what we all did during our week off, and how we were doing after that. Where are our respective head spaces, as it were. But you don’t want to hear about that so much, I’m sure, so here’s the other things we talked about.

Mysteries of the World is #1 on DTRPG! still, which is even more gratifying considering how many PDFs went out to backers as part of the Stretch Goals already!

Related, we discussed our next Kickstarter possibilities and it looks like Scion: Demigod is going to be ready for its KS the first week in September! More words on that these next couple of weeks!

Scion: Demigod art by Aaron Riley

We talked about the sales that are going on with our various sales partners, as below, with the Deluxe Wraith 20 and Screen on sale for the first time at Indie Press Revolution – and a darkly gorgeous book it is! A true labor of love, too, by Messers Dansky and Dawkins heading up some phenomenal writers!

Also below, but in the Onyx Path Media section, Eddy’s Workshops wrapped up. What the heck, here are the links to last two episodes so you don’t have to scroll down:

Eddy’s Workshop – The Editing Phase of RPG Development – https://youtu.be/zPXWl0c7mmM

Eddy’s Workshop – The Approvals Phase of RPG Development – https://youtu.be/Qf-FQMBLaAs

In this series of YouTube vids, Eddy goes step by step through the process of how to create RPG books, so if you are interested in how it all happens, both here at Onyx Path and elsewhere across the TTRPG industry, these are invaluable.

Also, while doing these, Eddy has also been running a series of development and project management workshops for our writers and developers. These came directly out of our Developer Town Halls we held all through the first months of Covid-19, and the many requests he had from our developers. So far, Eddy has done some group sessions, and some individual mentoring, and the responses have been fantastic!

I think Covid-19 has hit a lot of creative people hard and even the most driven creators have been hammered in their productivity, so this is us helping folks get back on to getting things done.

(I used two forms of get in a single sentence there. My old HS English teacher T.J. McCauley, who warned us never to use “get” because there is always a better word, must be spinning in his grave.)

Heroic Land-Dwellers! art by Brian LeBlanc

Time continues to show that Covid-19 has also affected some of our partners. On sale to the public this week on DTRPG is the PDF and PoD versions of Heroic Land-Dwellers! for They Came From Beneath the Sea!, but the PDF went out to backers in May. Getting the PoD version ready and printed and proofed has just dragged on.

Similarly, our Screen printer has been hard hit, but is persevering slowly. So even though we have KS books almost ready to send as rewards, we still need to have the Screens to ship them all together and that’s been a slower cycle than it has in the past.

But, refreshed now from our week of Not Work, we’re back and rarin’ to go! Ready to tackle these challenges and get our projects through the stages to get to you. Ready to once again pull together all the many threads that go into weaving our tapestry of gaming goodness featuring our:

Many Worlds, One Path!

Blurbs!

Kickstarter!

The They Came From Beyond the Grave! Kickstarter is in its last days – take a look at what horrors have been revealed so far: the Screen and two sections of Monsters from the Crypt: a book containing More Monsters, an exclusive KS t-shirt coupon, electronic Grave!-themed wallpaper, and two scenarios in the Tales of Depravity PDF! Next up in Stretch Goals are even More Monsters and electronic Wallpaper!

We’re only about $1000 away from adding in a third section to Monsters from the Crypt – so please spread the word and let’s get that Stretch goal un-buried!

Thanks to all of you who have pledged to enable this fantastic project and its Stretch Goals!

Here’s a specially-made special trailer by the brilliant Larry Blamire:

And keep your eyes open for:

Next Up on Kickstarter:

Scion: Demigod 2nd Edition the first week in September!

Onyx Path Media!

This week: The Terrific Trio of Terribleness take random game ideas and build them up to game pitches!

As always, this Friday’s Onyx Pathcast will be on Podbean or your favorite podcast venue! https://onyxpathcast.podbean.com/

For anyone new to our media section, you can find us running and playing games over on twitch.tv/theonyxpath pretty much every day of the week!

Plus, if you’d like your games hosted there, just get in touch with Matthew Dawkins using the contact link on matthewdawkins.com. 

Please give our Twitch channel a follow, as you can find a huge number of videos of all kinds of games, along with our What’s Up with Onyx Path? livestream conducted for Gen Con weekend!

This week on Twitch, expect to see these games and streams running:

Scarred Lands – A Family Affair

Mage: The Ascension – Technocracy Reloaded

Scion: Hero – Behind the Screen

They Came from Beyond the Grave!

Changeling: The Dreaming – The Last Faerie Tale

Mage: The Awakening – Occultists Anonymous

Vampire: The Masquerade – Boston by Night

Get watching for some fantastic insight into how to run these wonderful games and subscribe to us on Twitch, over at twitch.tv/theonyxpath

It’s the last week of the They Came from Beyond the Grave! Kickstarter, so if you missed it, please check out our ENnie award winning friends at Red Moon Roleplaying, who have concluded their They Came from Beyond the Grave! story, with their usual excellent editing, quality, and in this case, a lovely cast of players led by Director, Matthew Dawkins! Come join in and listen to the Cult of Abaddon at play: https://youtu.be/RDYzNbk7VkQ

Come take a look at our YouTube channel, youtube.com/user/theonyxpath, where you can find a whole load of videos of actual plays, dissections of our games, and more, including:

Changeling: The Lost – Littlebrook Reunion FINALE – https://youtu.be/Evc0DDvLOPE

Blood City: Chicago by Night FINALE – https://youtu.be/dVdt0S6oWm0

(Matthew’s favourite) Scarred Lands – Purge of the Serpentholds Episode 10 – https://youtu.be/XtZouhVac9k

Deviant: The Renegades – A Cautionary Tale – Episode Two – https://youtu.be/GETIo92dUdY

Eddy’s Workshop – The Editing Phase of RPG Development – https://youtu.be/zPXWl0c7mmM

Eddy’s Workshop – The Approvals Phase of RPG Development – https://youtu.be/Qf-FQMBLaAs

Realms of Pugmire: Paws & Claws – S2E10 – https://youtu.be/SA3fot155wA

Scarred Lands – Purge of the Serpentholds Episode 11 – https://youtu.be/XtZouhVac9k – https://youtu.be/KNWMVZ9KtQI

Deviant: The Renegades – A Cautionary Tale – Episode Three – https://youtu.be/F9mKS-w6lso

Realms of Pugmire: Paws & Claws – S2E11 – https://youtu.be/aZ4Mxy_k9JU

Subscribe to our channel and click the bell icon if you want to be notified whenever new news videos and uploads come online!

Systematic Understanding of Everything is a new Exalted Explainer Podcast by Exalted Dev Monica Speca and Exalted Writer Chazz Kellner that is breaking down Creation in 45 minute chunks in preparation for Exalted Essence.

Their most recent episodes are available over on https://www.exaltcast.com/, where they’ve covered everything from Lunars and Dragon-Blooded to Solars and asking the question: What is Creation?

The Story Told Podcast have just started a new chapter in their Fall of Jiara Exalted chronicle, and we’d love it if you gave them some support. Here’s their character intros: https://thestorytold.libsyn.com/fall-of-jiara-character-intros

Dork Tales are partway through their Werewolf: The Forsaken actual play, The Bitches of Brewery Park! Check it out on their channel: https://www.twitch.tv/dorktales

And our very own Chris Allen runs his chronicle of Werewolf: The Forsaken over on Paleo Gaming‘s Twitch channel. Do check out Very Angry Dogs!  https://www.twitch.tv/paleo_gaming

Two new Occultists Anonymous episodes for you fans of Mage: The Awakening! Find them right here:

Episode 118: Chimed In  The cabal follows Songbird into an Aetheric Emanation Realm, prepared with only a few hints from Hadramiel. First though, there is a watcher in place at the entrance…   https://youtu.be/Gh6_3KHOOgI

Episode 119: Explore, Expand, Exploit…  The cabal investigates the odd ‘hotel’ they’ve found themselves in and further explores out into the Emanation Realm itself, which seems to have some kind of specific purpose. https://youtu.be/qjmbCSILpI8

Please check these out and let us know if you find or produce any actual plays of our games! We’d love to feature you!

Electronic Gaming!

As we find ways to enable our community to more easily play our games, the Onyx Dice Rolling App is live! Our dev team has been doing updates since we launched based on the excellent use-case comments by our community, and this thing is awesome! (Seriously, you need to roll 100 dice for Exalted? This app has you covered.)

We’re told that the App Dev is currently creating an updated version for the latest devices, so keep an eye open for those!

Virtual TableTop!

Introducing a Virtual Tabletop encounter pack for the Trinity Continuum Core: Hunt for the Red Widow on DTRPG!

Hunt for the Red Widow is a short encounter designed starting Talents in the Trinity Continuum Core setting. When a renowned but mysterious thief known as The Red Widow steals an ancient artifact from the Æon Society’s vaults, it is up to the party to track her down and recover the device. She is heading to an old ruin said to unlock the artifact’s true power. Can the heroes reach her in time?

Inside you’ll find:

A short encounter for use with the Trinity Continuum Corebook

Two new antagonists: The Red Widow, and her minions, known simply as “Ghosts.” Virtual tabletop tokens are included to represent the antagonists

Two maps, ready to be uploaded into your virtual tabletop platform of choice

New Anomaly Powers.

On Amazon and Barnes & Noble!

You can now read our fiction from the comfort and convenience of your Kindle (from Amazon) and Nook (from Barnes & Noble).

If you enjoy these or any other of our books, please help us by writing reviews on the site of the sales venue from which you bought it. Reviews really, really help us get folks interested in our amazing fiction!

Our selection includes these latest fiction books:

Our Sales Partners!

We’re working with Studio2 to provide our traditionally printed books out into your local game stores. Game stores can order via their usual distributors, and can also contact Studio2 directly. And individuals can check out our projects via the links below!

You can pick up the traditionally printed Pugmire and Monarchies of Mau main books, screens, and the official dice through our friends there! https://studio2publishing.com/search?q=pugmire

Now, we’ve added Chronicles of Darkness books such as Changeling: The Lost Second Edition products to Studio2‘s store! See them here: https://studio2publishing.com/collections/all-products/changeling-the-lost

Scion 2e books and other products are available now at Studio2: https://studio2publishing.com/blogs/new-releases/scion-second-edition-book-one-origin-now-available-at-your-local-retailer-or-online

Our Vampire: The Masquerade 5th Edition books are also available from Studio2 in the US: https://studio2publishing.com/products/vampire-the-masquerade-chicago-by-night-sourcebook

Looking for our Deluxe or Prestige Edition books? Try this link! http://www.indiepressrevolution.com/xcart/Onyx-Path-Publishing/

And you can order Pugmire, Monarchies of Mau, Cavaliers of Mars, and Changeling: The Lost 2e at the same link! And now Scion Origin and Scion Hero and Trinity Continuum Core and Trinity Continuum: Aeon are available to order

It’s the return of the DOG DAYS OF SUMMER SALE!

As always, you can find Onyx Path’s titles at DriveThruRPG.com!

The Cthulhu Mythos sale at DriveThruRPG starts this week, and we’ll have some God-Machine PDFs included in the sale!

On Sale This Week!

This Wednesday, the PDF and PoD versions of Heroic Land-Dwellers! for They Came From Beneath the Sea! gird their loins and prepare for watery menaces… and go on sale on DTRPG!

Heroic Land-Dwellers! is a collection of playable characters for They Came from Beneath the Sea!, a roleplaying game of drama, science fiction, and farce in which you play the only humans capable of driving back the watery threats seeking to invade, destroy, or enslave humanity.

This book is for use with the They Came from Beneath the Sea! tabletop roleplaying game. They Came from Beneath the Sea! uses the Storypath System, provided in full in the core rulebook available separately. 

Heroic Land-Dwellers! includes:

• Sixteen playable characters, each with biographies, stats, Quips, and artwork to help you immediately involve them in a story as protagonists, supporting characters, or villains!

• Fiction by Larry Blamire, to set the action-packed and sometimes nonsensical tone of science fiction B-movies and games such as this one!

Also, this Weds sees the release on DTRPG of the They Came From Beneath the Sea! Director’s Screen PDF! Handy charts to make it even easier to run TCFBtS!.

Finally on Wednesday, we present you with the compiled Dark Eras for Changeling: The Lost, all together in one handy book in PDF and PoD versions on DTRPG!

Conventions!

Though dates for physical conventions are subject to change due to the current COVID-19 outbreak, here’s what’s left of our current list of upcoming conventions (and really, we’re just waiting for this last one to be cancelled even though it’s Nov/Dec). Instead, keep an eye out here for more virtual conventions we’re going to be involved with:

PAX Unplugged: https://unplugged.paxsite.com/

And now, the new project status updates!

Development Status from Eddy Webb! (Projects in bold have changed status since last week.):

First Draft (The first phase of a project that is about the work being done by writers, not dev prep.)

Exalted Essay Collection (Exalted)

The Devoted Companion (Deviant: The Renegades)

Prometheus Unbound (was Psi Orders) (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

No Gods, No Masters (Scion 2nd Edition)

Scion Fiction Anthology (Scion 2nd Edition)

TC: Aeon Novella: Dawn (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

TC: Aeon Novella: Meridian (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

Legacies of Earth (Legendlore)

Redlines

Dragon-Blooded Novella #2 (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Wild Hunt (Scion 2nd Edition)

CtL 2e Novella Collection: Hollow Courts (Changeling: The Lost 2e)

Adversaries of the Righteous (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Squeaks In The Deep (Realms of Pugmire)

Trinity Continuum: Anima

Second Draft

Many-Faced Strangers – Lunars Companion (Exalted 3rd Edition)

The Clades Companion (Deviant: The Renegades)

M20 Rich Bastard’s Guide To Magick (Mage: The Ascension 20th Anniversary)

Hundred Devil’s Night Parade (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Novas Worldwide (Trinity Continuum: Aberrant)

Exalted Essence Edition (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Saints and Monsters (Scion 2nd Edition)

M20 Technocracy Operative’s Dossier (Mage: The Ascension 20th Anniversary)

Development

TC: Aberrant Reference Screen (Trinity Continuum: Aberrant)

Across the Eight Directions (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Contagion Chronicle: Global Outbreaks (Chronicles of Darkness)

Exigents (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Assassins (Trinity Continuum Core)

Kith and Kin (Changeling: The Lost 2e)

V5 Forbidden Religions (Vampire: The Masquerade 5th Edition)

V5 Children of the Blood (was The Faithful Undead) (Vampire: The Masquerade 5th Edition)

Trinity Continuum: Adventure! core (Trinity Continuum: Adventure!)

Manuscript Approval

Crucible of Legends (Exalted 3rd Edition)

M20 Victorian Mage (Mage: the Ascension 20th Anniversary Edition)

V5 Trails of Ash and Bone (Vampire: The Masquerade 5th Edition)

Mission Statements (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

Dystopia Rising: Evolution Fiction Anthology (Dystopia Rising: Evolution)

Contagion Chronicle Ready-Made Characters (Chronicles of Darkness)

Dead Man’s Rust (Scarred Lands)

Post-Approval Development

Editing

Lunars Novella (Rosenberg) (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Mummy: The Curse 2nd Edition core rulebook (Mummy: The Curse 2nd Edition)

Player’s Guide to the Contagion Chronicle (Chronicles of Darkness)

TC: Aberrant Jumpstart (Trinity Continuum: Aberrant)

LARP Rules (Scion 2nd Edition)

Heirs to the Shogunate (Exalted 3rd Edition)

The Book of Lasting Death (Mummy: The Curse 2e)

Scion: Dragon (Scion 2nd Edition)

Scion: Demigod (Scion 2nd Edition)

Dearly Bleak – Novella (Deviant: The Renegades)

N!ternational Wrestling Entertainment (Trinity Continuum: Aberrant)

Under Alien Skies (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

Post-Editing Development

City of the Towered Tombs (Cavaliers of Mars)

W20 Shattered Dreams Gift Cards (Werewolf: The Apocalypse 20th)

Cults of the Blood Gods (Vampire: The Masquerade 5th Edition)

Hunter: The Vigil 2e core (Hunter: The Vigil 2nd Edition)

Trinity Continuum: Aberrant core (Trinity Continuum: Aberrant)

Deviant: The Renegades (Deviant: The Renegades)

Monsters of the Deep (They Came From Beneath the Sea!)

Legendlore core book (Legendlore)

Pirates of Pugmire KS-Added Adventure (Realms of Pugmire)

Tales of Aquatic Terror (They Came From Beneath the Sea!)

Terra Firma (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

One Foot in the Grave Jumpstart (Geist: The Sin-Eaters 2e)

Masks of the Mythos (Scion 2nd Edition)

Trinity Continuum Jumpstart (Trinity Continuum)

They Came From Beyond the Grave! (They Came From!)

Contagion Chronicle Jumpstart (Chronicles of Darkness)

Indexing

Lunars: Fangs At The Gate (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Art Direction from Mike Chaney!

In Art Direction

Tales of Aquatic Terror

WoD Ghost Hunters (KS) – KS page prepped and ready to go to Paradox for approval.

Aberrant

Hunter: The Vigil 2e

Mummy 2

Deviant

Legendlore

Technocracy Reloaded

Cults of the Blood God

Scion: Dragon (KS)

Masks of the Mythos (KS) – Cover is in and it looks sweet.

Scion: Demigod (KS) – KS art and graphics all finished.

They Came From Beyond the Grave! (KS) – KS running.

TC: Adventure! (KS)

Geist: One Foot In the Grave

In Layout

Yugman’s Guide to Ghelspad

Vigil Watch

V5 Let the Streets Run Red – Going into proofing this week.

Pugmire Adventure

Trinity Core Jumpstart

Proofing

Lunars: Fangs at the Gate – Indexing.

Cavaliers of Mars: City of the Towered Tombs

Magic Item Decks (Scarred Lands)

Yugman’s Guide Support Decks (Scarred Lands)

TC Aeon Terra Firma

Scion Titanomachy

At Press

TCFBTS Heroic Land Dwellers – PDF and PoD on sale this Weds!

TCFBTS Screen and Booklet – Files at press.

They Came from Beneath the Sea! – Shipping from printer to KS fulfiller.

Pirates of Pugmire – Shipping from printer to KS fulfiller.

Pirates of Pugmire Screen – Files at press.

Dark Eras 2 – Files printing.

Dark Eras 2 Screen and booklet – Files at press.

Changeling: The Lost 2nd Edition Dark Eras Compilation – PDF and PoD on sale this Weds!

Contagion Chronicle – Press prep.

Contagion Chronicle Screen and Booklet – Files at press.

Lunars Wall Scroll Map – Shipping to KS fulfiller from printer.

Lunars Screen and Booklet – Files at press.

Scarred Lands Creature Collection – Shipping from printer to KS fulfiller.

Today’s Reason to Celebrate!

Eight (8) years ago today we held our first “What Is the Onyx Path?” panel at Gen Con, announcing our company and our slate of releases for that coming year. Most of which have been released by now!

[alexanderlightweight]

homestretch of the hard times

@lynne-monstr for tentacletober prompt: in space

ao3 link

Alec started descent of his damaged puddlejumper with a sigh of relief, knowing that while he wasn’t safe just yet, landing somewhere was safer than drifting endlessly through space.  It took a few minutes for his jumper to dock on what he thought was an abandoned Atlantean warship, he’d used what powers his runes and gene gave him to connect with it but for a little while it had been touch and go.

There was something… not quite hostile but definitely suspicious about the warship.  It made him wary but desperate situations sometimes called for reckless choices and this was one of them. 

He was hopeful to find something he could use on the warship, to either repair the damage to his jumper or to contact Atlantis or even their Alpha Site.  His people were probably frantic with worry and he didn’t trust anyone to run Atlantis while panicked, the last time they’d done that Atlantis had nearly been taken over by hostiles.  It might have been a forgivable mistake, if he hadn’t later found out that Jace’s team had invited the hostiles in at Clary’s behest. 

Alec rubbed his head, trying to ignore the headache he had building and tapped his fingers on the console.  Scans showed the ship to be viable so he left all but his weapons on the jumper, sealing it back after him and activating it’s camouflage cloaking as he did.

The warship was huge, a beautiful but obsolete memoriam to a long past age.  Alec stretched before pulling out his life detector, frowning as it glitched, the screen crackling ominously before it went blank.

“Odd,” he murmured under his breath and then continued to walk forward, more warily this time.  One of his hands trailed along the cool metal of the walls as he sought out the ships core, hoping to connect with it and awaken what he could.  Despite the age, there was still a spark of energy in the ship and the further he walked the more connected he became. What was strange was that the deeper into the hull he walked the more he found a plethora of a near plant like organism.  At first it had worried him, reminding him of the Wraith but then he’d noticed that it lacked the smell of decay and rot, instead filling the ship with the strong scent of brine, not unlike the ocean.  

Deciding to chance it he continued to walk, fingers trailing and dancing between an odd pattern of the strange, sinuous vines and cool metal.  He was nearing the physical core of the ship where the ZPM would be if there was one, when he paused, frowning as his fingers caught. Hesitant to just start shooting, he drew his knife as he stepped closer to the wall, wondering just what had caught on his skin.  

One of the vines was hanging loose and part of it had strange circles that were latched tightly to the skin of his wrist, he sighed before tucking the knife between his teeth to first try and pull it away.  It went, though not easily and when it was off, Alec stepped away from the wall, frowning at his hand and the trail of light pink marks on his skin.   

He gave the wall a wary look and walked to the ZPM, noticing that this room seemed to have the most life in both energy and the weird-plant.  The ZPM console itself was dark, near lifeless and covered with grime as he knelt, placing his hands against it and reaching out only to feel something strange, nothing like the cool presence of Atlantis.  This was warm, like fire and it echoed in his mind in language he couldn't understand, just the same wordMagnus-Magnus-Magnus- over and over again.  

“Shadowhunter energy.”  The voice suddenly murmured, “virgin shadowhunter energy. ”  

Alec felt a dull heat on his cheeks and the back of his neck and frowned, it was nobody's business that he was a virgin or that he apparently had a weird energy because of it.  Especially not some old ship’s AI, he cleared his throat and took his hand away from the console. The voice was quiet without him touching it but now he could hear other things, like footsteps.  

Alec turned, hand dropping to his weapon and found himself staring at a man.

A man who was tall and broad, extremely broad with muscles that would probably do terrible things to Alec’s laundry if he were to lend him a shirt.  Which he wouldn’t. For reasons. Reasons such as being able to admire smooth brown skin and the chiseled torso he was currently staring at. 

“I need your strength,” the man said with his smooth, hypnotic voice and his luminous golden eyes and Alec felt himself nodding, even as adrenaline started to spike.  “Don’t worry,” he said softly and suddenly he was close, his hand a cool balm against Alec’s flushed cheek, “I won’t take much.”  

The vines that Alec had forgotten about suddenly came to life and he jerked as they grabbed ahold of him.  They wrapped around him tightly, pinning his arms to his sides and keeping him still as the man... as Magnus’ free hand took one of Alec’s and tangled their fingers together. 

“You’ll see me soon,” he was promised and then darkness.

-

Magnus looked at delight in the nephilim warrior who had happened upon his temporary home.  It had been a long time since he’d seen another living being, though how long he truly wasn’t sure.  He’d taken to hibernating to conserve energy and had stretched himself across the ship, just in case someone came and finally , they did.

Taking the nephilim’s energy wouldn’t hurt him, just refresh Magnus and make his new companion a bit more docile when he woke again.  Magnus wasn’t quite sure what the relations between nephilim and warlocks were these days.  

This one might be dressed very oddly but Magnus was sure he was a nephilim, a child of the Atlanteans the Ascended had blessed.  Magnus himself was the son of a Descended, a being who had decided to use their powers to interfere and had been cast out of Ascension and cursed to wander the stars simply because they’d had opinions about how mortals lived.  Personally, Magnus thought the whole thing a trite affair and a rather ridiculous punishment but alas, he was merely the offspring of one punished, not a perpetrator himself. 

Though he had a feeling he hadn’t done himself any favors attempting to figure out how to recreate the powers of a Gateway using only his own energy.  That was how he’d come to be stranded on this ship after all and now that he’d been joined by-

Magnus frowned and looked at his sleeping companion, poking at the bulky outfit he wore and feeling delight when he noticed a strip of writing, now wasn't that helpful.  Having Alexander’s name inscribed on his clothing so that Magnus could know it, so thoughtful though not very smart, what if he’d run into an enemy?  Never a wise move, to give a name to an enemy.  

-but, well now that he’d been joined by his Alexander , things were finally looking up.

Feeling revitalized for the first time since he’d been marooned, Magnus carefully tightened the grip of his tentacles and carried Alexander to his room.  He normally just used it to store his body while in hibernation but still, he’d done with it what he could and it was actually what he considered to be the most comfortable yet elegant place on the ship.  Hopefully, the nephilim would think so as well.

It didn’t take long, Magnus had been gentle after all and it wasn’t like Alexander had been doing anything with all that energy, for him to wake up.  

“How do you feel, Alexander?”  He asked, one of his tentacles petting through his shadowhunter’s hair.  He hadn’t touched another in so long and it was so soft, so very fluffy and if he’d had any less self control, there would be a whole lot more of him touching Alexander, he was so deliciously warm compared to metal of the ship.  

“Wha-“ Alexander blinked, such pretty odd eyes, like the surface of a planet Magnus no longer remembered the name of.  “Magnus?” he finally asked and Magnus couldn’t help but reach out and press a thumb to Alexander’s lips in delight.

“Say it again?”  He asked, his soul hungry to be known.  

“Magnus.”

-

Alec was confused, worried and a little aroused which was not how potential hostage situations normally went for him.  His siblings and pretty much the entirety of his crew were usually the ones seduced into trouble, Alec was the reasonable one who knew and practiced self-control.  

Here with someone he was pretty sure was called Magnus -who had knocked him unconscious, somehow stolen his energy, known he was a virgin and now knew his name -he suddenly had a better understanding of how they all got into so much trouble.  

“Thank you,” Magnus said earnestly and then his hand, not one of the many tentacles still holding Alec down, but the one pressed against his mouth was cupping his jaw.  “Thank you, Alexander.”

It took a little while for Alec’s heart to stop racing and for him to realize that beyond a little tired, he really did feel fine.  What wasn’t fine was the way he had a perpetual blush, the fact that everywhere Magnus’ touched felt like a spark of electricity and the fact that while Magnus tried to explain his situation, Alec kept having to ask him to repeat himself.

“Are you, did I take too much or too fast?”  Magnus finally asked and he’d been close the entire time they talked but now, with both hands cupping Alec’s face and several of his tentacles pressed against his neck, Alec felt like he couldn’t breath.  

“I’m good.”  He managed to get out, “it’s just, a lot.”  

Magnus looked disappointed, his hands and several of his tentacles retreating and Alec winced, too much of a coward to explain it was Alec’s attraction to him that was too much, not the man himself.  

“So am I the first person who’s stumbled across you?”  He asked, pushing aside Magnus’ beauty and the fact that he was some incredibly powerful Ancient descendent in favor of more information, “in all this time?”

“A few stopped by but could never land.  The docking mechanism takes the ancient’s power.”   Magnus explained and he reached out to run a thumb over Alec’s hand, “I have a mutated version of it, similar to your own.  However it’s a different kind and it took nearly everything I had to keep this ship floating and safe, I couldn’t hail anyone else.” 

“But you’re okay?”  Alec asked, unable to help the worry that stirred in his chest.

“For the most part.”  Magnus promised, “and the scans show that your own ship is easily fixed.  A night or two here and it’ll be ready to go.”  

“And you’ll come with me?”  He was fairly certain but he still felt the need to ask, to make sure that Magnus knew he understand the position he’d been in, Alec had been hurt far worse by people in less desperate situations.  Hell, Maia had kidnapped his sister and dragged her on the run before demanding she cut out the Wraith tracker embedded near Maia’s spine and their relationship seemed to be working out.  

In fact, he was positive that if he’d requested it, Magnus would have already untied him; the reason he hadn’t asked for that was not something he was going to think about at the moment.  Maybe later, in private. Or never. Never worked well too. Alec was used to denial, it shouldn’t be that bad.  

Meanwhile, Magnus looked pleasantly surprised, “I would do anything to leave this place, Alexander.  To leave with you , that is the true gift.”    

Magnus looked so happy, truly happy and his tentacles tightened and Alec swallowed as he reflexively pressed his wrists and arms against the firm hold and felt them gently keep him in place.

He was in so much trouble.

-

It got both worse and better, at some point Magnus had realized he was practically in Alec’s lap and he’d apologized, looking both a little sheepish and a little forlorn before a blank mask took over and wiped his face clear of emotions.  Alec mourned for it, already missing the spark in Magnus’ eyes and the soft smile on his lips or the wonder in his voice.

His tentacles retreated too, the odd appendages that Alec had tried very hard not to focus on too much.  It was rude and he didn’t want Magnus to think that Alec thought there was anything wrong with him.  Sure, Alec may have never met anyone with tentacles before but he was in another galaxy now and Alec’s home planet was a stagnant, stupid little spin-top full of idiots.  If Magnus happened to have tentacles and be the most gorgeous being he’d ever met, well he’d thank the stars and leave it at that.  

Alec had offered food and Magnus had jumped at the chance, stomach rumbling in a way that he didn’t seem to notice but it had been so cute that Alec had blushed for him.  The walk to the jumper was quiet, Magnus seemed distracted and closed off but it was hard to really believe that when his tentacles kept looping around Alec’s wrist or settling over his shoulder and one particularly persistent one had replaced his belt.  Alec still wasn’t certain how or when that had happened and it turned a truly unfortunate noise of discovery into a yelp when he bit his lip in surprise.

Magnus’ mask had fallen, worry in his face as he cupped Alec’s jaw and Alec had swallowed back a mortified whimper when Magnus thumb had pressed tenderly down on his lip.  

“You’re hurt,” Magnus said and it took everything he had for Alec not to give in and press a kiss against his finger.  

“I’m fine,” he managed to choke out and his lip tingled as Magnus moved away, watching him worriedly, “oh look, the ship!”  He said, pointing to where the ship was and idiotically forgetting that the cloak was on. Magnus looked, brow furrowed in confusion as Alec mentally cursed himself out, “right, uhm.  There.”  

The cloak faded and Magnus made a noise of joy as Alec ushered him aboard, immediately going straight for his satchel and pulling out the food he’d stored there.  He kept back an MRI for himself and offered Magnus the fresh food he’d packed along with the chocolate bars he had hidden in his gear. 

Magnus noticed the difference in their meals, because of course he did and Alec just shrugged, playing it off as no big deal but Magnus seemed to think differently, giving him a dangerously fond smile and telling him, “you’re a sweet man Alexander.”

Alec took another bite of cold ravioli and mourned his fleeting sanity.  He’d faced the Wraith and his mother’s wrath without wavering but it was Magnus smiling him that would be his undoing, the tentacle still masquerading as his belt tightened as if in sympathy.  

-

Alec wasn’t exactly sure just how much time had passed, only that he was tired yet invigorated and the more he talked to Magnus the more he was sure that his attraction was reciprocated. 

“You’re exhausted,” Magnus said at one point, “I’ve kept you up far too late.  Especially after taking so much of your energy.” He looked almost wistful as he said it, “can I offer you a bed?  Or the closest thing I have to one?”

“Are you asking if you can take me to bed?”  Alec blurted out, hope making him giddy and stumble over his words.  

Magnus froze, eyes shuttering and he raised a hand to fiddle with the metal jewel adorning the shell of his ear.  

Alec wanted to kiss it.

“I could sleep elsewhere, or keep watch from outside or something... if that makes you uncomfortable.”  

“It doesn’t.”  Alec hurried to assure him, “I mean you took my energy, you might as well take me too.”  Alec teased but he meant it, licking his lips as he looked Magnus up and down in what he hoped was a seductive manner.

Magnus was only, well... he wasn’t human and he wasn’t mortal but he only had so much self-restraint.  To have Alec offer him this and know how much trust and intimacy were shared in bed, Magnus didn’t have the strength to turn him down and he didn’t want to.

“Are you sure?”  He asked softly, “I took your strength earlier Alexander, you don’t need to offer this to me as well.”

“It’s a selfish request, Magnus.”  Alec promised and stepped closer to him, touching Magnus willingly and with a purpose, “I want you, but only if you want me too.”

“I want you,” Magnus promised and he thought that after centuries of being alone, the most important thing would be leaving this place.  Instead, what suddenly mattered the most was how Alec would feel against him, how he would taste and sound and look and Magnus swallowed back a groan of desire at the thought, stepping forward.

“Wait,” Alec said suddenly and then hurried to explain, “does this mean that my energy won’t work for you anymore though?  If I’m not a virgin?” Alec was worried now that the idea had formed, after all Magnus had been alone for centuries and if not sleeping together meant he could help him out, well then he was willing to make that sacrifice.  At least until they were in a safer place.  

“Alexander,” Magnus said and Alec was surprised to see a hint of pink on his cheeks, “that was a joke, darling.  I wasn’t actually serious about that part of your energy being important. Call it poor humor after decades of isolation?  I wanted to make an entrance.”

Alec groaned, too tired and too turned on to actually be mortified, shaking his head as a tentacle pulled him closer to Magnus.  A kiss was pressed against his cheek and he shivered, “forgive me?” Was whispered gently next to his ear and Alec nodded, overwhelmed with the feeling of how much he would do, how much he would give if it was Magnus who asked.

All his life he’d wondered what it would take to meet someone who would make him feel like this, someone he trusted instinctively and who trusted him.  It wouldn’t be perfect, he knew that much but this, meeting Magnus was worth everything, he’d just had to travel to another galaxy to be found.  

[blueboxesandtrafficcones]

Queen of Hearts - Chapter 4

Thirty-year-old Rose Tyler’s matchmaking business is doing very well indeed, bringing her clients such as celebrities, athletes, and the now-happily-married son of the mayor.  All of which brings her to her newest client - one whose royal rank is a far cry above her own title as Queen of Hearts.

Ian, King of Gallifrey, calls off his wedding four weeks before the happy day as he realizes he can’t spend another minute of his life with his betrothed.  The catch - he must take a wife before his Coronation, only a month away.  In desperation, his sister and aunt conspire to find him is happy ever after - and it’s going to take a master matchmaker to do it.

-

Based on the Hallmark Movie ‘Royal Matchmaker’.  Chapters will be posted every Sunday.

As always, beta’d by the wonderful @stupidsatsuma​!  @doctorroseprompts

Masterlist  |  AO3

—

Tuesday, April 2nd (continued)

Once dessert was cleared Rose expected to be dismissed, but instead the king came around to her end of the table and offered her his elbow.  “Would you care to take in the night sky?  I imagine we see significantly more stars than you would in London.”

“I would love to,” she smiled, taking his arm and letting him lead her out to the back patio.  “Dinner was incredible – you eat like that every night?”

“Most nights,” he agreed, “though usually on a much smaller scale.  Our chef is magnificent.”

They stopped then, and Rose tilted her head back.  “Oh my God.”  The view was breathtaking; Gallifrey was nestled in the foot of the Alps, with not much in the way of major cities for miles around, resulting in crystal clear skies and more stars than she knew existed.  “This is… spectacular.”

“Thank you.”

He spent a few minutes pointing out different stars, telling her their stories, completely enthralling her even as she made a mental note on their candidates: Must love nature.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” he asked, a tad bit smugly, and she glanced over to see him smirking at her.

Catching her tongue between her teeth, she raised a humorous eyebrow at him.  “You think you’re so impressive, don’t you?”

A (hopefully) mock-offended expression crossed his face.  “I am too impressive!”

“Mhmm,” Rose hummed, turning her attention back to the sky.

“So tell me, Queen of Hearts, do you really believe in ‘true love’?  That two people are meant for each other, the universe ordains it, chose them for each other?”

She tried not to let her surprise at his knowing the epithet show.  “I do, absolutely.  Do you, King of Gallifrey?”

“Not in the slightest,” he scoffed derisively, waving his hand.  “The very idea is absurd.”

Finally tearing her gaze away from the sky, she met his eye and arched an eyebrow.  “No more absurd than thinking the universe chose you to rule Gallifrey.”

The king stiffened, face twisting.  “That’s different.”

“How so?”  She wasn’t necessarily trying to be argumentative, but was genuinely curious how he could see the two as completely separate ideas.  “Either the universe, or God, or whatever you believe in is capable of such… interference, or planning, or it’s not.  Person to person, person to pet, person to kingdom…  It’s all the same.”

“I am the king,” he spit out, drawing up to his full height, “by the will of God himself.  You insult me by suggesting what you have. Donna may have I hired you, but that is a mistake she will soon remedy.  If you speak to all your clients as such, I’m shocked you’re still in business – for now.  Get out of my sight.”

Rose’s eyes went wide, and she stepped forward.  “Your Majesty, I’m so-”

“Out!” he roared, and not bothering to curtsey, Rose fled.

Racing back up the stairs to their rooms, she slammed the door shut behind her before leaning against it, chest heaving.

“Rose?  How was dinner?” Mel asked innocently from her perch at the desk.

In response, Rose sank to the ground and burst into tears.

-

Ian stalked away from the Palace onto the grounds, beside himself with fury.  How dare she, he thought viciously.  Who does she think she is?  A no one.  I am King.  She is nothing.

His feet carried him automatically towards the lake, and he looked in vain on the way for something to kick, a rock or stick or anything.  But of course they were the royal gardens, in the royal palace, and were expertly maintained. He would have better luck finding the secret entrance to the Hundred Acre Woods, or some such ridiculousness.

Finding himself on the shore of the lake, he closed his eyes and breathed deeply, trying to will his anger away.  When that didn’t work he snapped them open, looking about and quickly locating a few decent skipping stones. Rolling his shoulders back and concentrating, he threw the first, counting the skips one, two, three, four, five, shit until it sank.

The next three did fairly better, none making it to ten, and on impulse he kissed the last stone before imagining Rose Tyler’s face, preparing to throw it with the hope some sort of voodoo would occur and the further it went, the sooner she would be out of his palace, his hair, and his life.

A noise behind him startled him into dropping the stone on the very edge of the water, and cursing, he turned to see who was there.

“What?”

His snarl would have scared off anyone in the kingdom and most medium-sized wild animals, but the man who stood a few yards away was married to Donna, and therefore didn’t blink.

“All right?” Lee stammered out, sounding absolutely no different than if Ian had offered him a cuppa.  That was the odd thing about his brother-in-law – he was absolutely the most even-keeled person he’d ever met, borderline incapable of reacting with strong emotion.  That wasn’t to say he didn’t feel so, Ian knew how passionately he loved Donna and their children, but still managed to be a steady constant – in perfect balance with his wife, who had a tendency to fly off the handle and start shouting, living up to her fiery hair.  They were well suited, Donna and Lee, which to her great annoyance only further eased Ian’s worry over potentially abdicating.

And, perhaps, some resemblance existed between the siblings.

Shit.

The bubble of his anger punctured, Ian sighed and let his shoulders slump.  “D’you know what your wife did?”

Lee shrugged.  “With all she does to help,” he got out laboriously, but without stuttering, “it’s hard to keep track.”

Ian felt that like a knife to his heart; he knew Lee’s intention wasn’t to guilt him, but he was guilted all the same.  “Thanks.”  Then he looked around, frowning.  It was a quiet spring evening, the grounds naturally deserted, and it occurred to him to wonder what the other man was doing out.  “Why aren’t you at home, kissing your kids to sleep?”

“Donna saw you,” he smiled wryly, “asked me to bring you to the house.”  Lee gestured behind himself towards the cottage a few hundred yards along the bank, the only bright spot but for the palace and the moon.

“Fine.”

They trudged along in silence, Ian studying his brother-in-law out of the corner of his eye.  The man was perfectly content to be married, to be a husband and father, to be a part of something more than just himself.

For the first time, Ian wondered if he too might, possibly, be able to find happiness in another person.  His thoughts drifted towards the person hired to find that perfect woman, and scowled.  And they lived happily ever after, he mocked.  He’d thought, at the time, that River would be the best he could do.  When they’d met she was working on a dig as an archaeologist, one who had gotten hurt and been brought to a nearby village where it just so happened Ian was working as part of Doctors Without Borders.

Sparks had flown, and it had been so refreshing to meet someone who only knew him as Ian, had no idea of his family or his destiny to be king.  When his father grew ill and he was recalled to Gallifrey they’d kept in touch, and when it came time to choose a queen, he’d approached her.

In hindsight, perhaps it had been too easy to convince her to take the role, to play the part – as the year passed and preparations were made, he became less and less sure he could suffer a lifetime with her.  Her berating of Luke had been the catalyst, but his first reaction at stumbling upon them had been vague relief, which told him it was the right move to send her away.

They walked into the cottage, and Ian had to take but one look at this sister to know that somehow, she knew he’d had words with whatever-her-name-was.  Rose.

“Don’t start,” he warned, before letting out an unregal ‘oof’ as he was tackled by the twins.

“Uncle Ian, Uncle Ian!” they cried in chorus, clambering over him, and he couldn’t help but laugh softly.

If he had to have one, this was the kind of family he wanted.

-

Wednesday, April 3rd

Leaning back in his desk chair, Ian sipped leisurely at his coffee as he watched the sunrise.  He’d been up most of the night thinking, playing with a stress ball Donna had gifted him upon his ascension.  It had originally been blue and green, a fairly accurate depiction of Earth, but now most of the green had cracked and faded, leaving it a robin’s egg blue.  Still, the toy was soothing, and he enjoyed having something malleable in his hands as he worked out his thoughts.

“Ian?”  A soft tap on the door announced the arrival of his guests, and he called them in without looking back.

“Yeah.”

His keen ears picked out the sounds of them walking across the office, settling behind the two visitor chairs and remaining standing.

“You can sit,” he rolled his eyes, keeping his back to them until the sun was above the treeline.

Once it had risen he turned back to his desk, finding his sister and aunt waiting with identical, expectant scowls.

Giving the stress ball one final, severe squeeze, he put it back in his drawer and settled his elbows on the desk, pressing his palms together as if in thought.  “Do you believe in Divine Right?”

Irritatingly the two women exchanged glances, but it was Donna who spoke.  “Do you?”

Folding his arms on the desk in front of him, he glared at his sister.  “I’m asking you.”

“I think…” she bit her lip, clearly searching for words, which didn’t make him feel better.  “I think that it’s possible,” she started slowly.  “I think it’s the only thing keeping monarchies in existence today.  I think that if you believe it your subjects will, but if you doubt it they will too.”  Then she rolled her eyes, unusually serious spell over.  “I think that’s a terrible way to get out of choosing a bride and taking the throne.  Honestly, Ian!”

“Sarah?”

His aunt pursed her lips, meeting his gaze head on.  “I think, by definition, God’s ineffable plan is just that – unknowable.  Anything is possible. In my opinion, there have been too many terrible rulers to believe that God specifically chose them to rule, necessarily.  Too much bloodshed and fear, starvation and sickness.  Every deposed king once believed God himself put him on that throne.  Them perhaps more than most.  The issue, so to speak, arises when the common people no longer believe it.”

“Ian?  What’s this about?”

“What about ‘soul mates’?” he asked derisively.  “The idea that God created the perfect partner for you.  Do you believe in that?”

Sarah’s expression cleared, a knowing smile playing at her lips, and he scowled.  “Anything is possible,” she repeated, “and I suppose the two ideas are opposite sides of the same coin.  At the end of the day, why does the idea persist?  Because people want to believe it.  If they believe they will find a perfect other half, if they never stop searching, perhaps they will while they may not have otherwise.  If a people want to believe their ruler was chosen by God, they will accept that.  Of course, having a fair and caring ruler certainly helps.”

“And you?” he turned his attention back to Donna, unhappy but unsurprised with Sarah’s answer and expecting the same from his sister.

The redhead shrugged, crossing her arms, the same smirk on her face.  “Absolutely.  Just look at Lee and I – we were made for each other.  Does that not qualify?”

Looking between them he groaned, knowing that with them in agreement he didn’t stand a chance.  After all, around three that morning he’d realized why he’d flown off the handle at matchmaker girl – the truth that the two concepts were similar, and he wasn’t certain he believed in either one.  A dangerous thing for a king.

“Fine,” he muttered, pulling a stack of papers towards him in a vain attempt to look busy.  “The girl can stay.”

Holding up a copy of his speech to hide his face, he pretended not to see the women high five as they left his office.

Bloody women.

[lovehaswonangelnumbers]

New Post has been published on https://lovehaswonangelnumbers.org/full-moon-in-aquariusdeal-breaker/

Full Moon in Aquarius~Deal Breaker

Full Moon in Aquarius~Deal Breaker

By A Gift From Gaia

Its true to say so far this year it has been quite transformative, we have been aware of the preparations humanity has been requested to experience that have taken the collective further through the hall of mirrors and boy have they been rather funky to say the least, throwing all sorts of reflections that we just didn’t realise existed.

Those who have been following the energetic navigation reports here at A Gift from Gaia will no doubt have found the information interesting and yet now the necessity to KNOW exactly what the energetic climate is like has become crucial for those who marry up the experience to the streams of frequency we are receiving, understanding how the energy effects the collective is crucial but understanding your alignment is paramount to your unification, otherwise it would be like going outside in shorts when we are having a blizzard, you prepare for the physical needs but are you preparing for the energetic which of course is really one of the same once you realise the merger between the energetic, physical and mental bodies are One and begin actioning from that space of wholeness.

I have a module available that talks about the importance of understanding energy over in the A Gift from Gaia GROUP that you can find in the file section if you would like to learn more.

This understanding, the wisdom and the unification is the only way possible to surf the waves that are forecast, active surfing is so much fun whereas reactive surfing finds you swirling, churning around in the surf and much less time is spent actually on the cosmic surfboard…..and that is tiring as I am sure many of you are finding out as we surf the waves of deep rooted judgements and ultimately FEAR. These old streams, the waves must be surfed, they must be experienced for the opportunity of evolution, all must be Seen and as we also know, this experience is simply the preparation for the incoming movements that 2020 is going to bring, which is going to be a humbling experience to say the least, I feel it will be true to say, those “thinking” themselves onto their light path will very quickly see that they took that “blind” looping path, those awkward paths, the path of manyness as opposed to the path of Oneness. We hear it often, there are many paths to the light…..there is One path of light, there are many looping paths that show you that the path is not light.

The path is a behaviour, it is a way of BEing, it is stripped bare of the bells and whistles, it holds no stories of old, it doesn’t need to exaggerate itself and make itself complicated, it is simple, precise and so easy to follow, the only thing that complicates it is the ego mind that likes to value itself on intellect and complexity, because yet again that has been another patriarchal people program. Why am I telling you all about energy? Well I am sure many of you experienced a huge influx of light yesterday, and if you haven’t yet then you surely will do over the incoming days.

I have something quite unexpected to report that adds to the mystery as to why yesterday gave us all a bolt. We had a CME release yesterday on the far side of the sun, and whilst this isn’t heading in our direction the ripples from the force were without doubt felt, coupled with the incredible feminine frequencies that were, well, many were using the word overwhelming, with so much coming up. It was funny actually because I made a joke in one of the groups yesterday and said all we need is a solar flare and half the planet will jump ship – little did I know, perhaps the dark humour manifested it, who knows but had that have faced us the impact, emotionally would have created some pretty AWE-FULL (great word when you play with it) releasing and activational movement, BUT as it was, our Sun played it gentle, somewhat…….

This energy, as always continues today, energy is a wave, it moves in and it fades out whilst being a continuous flow of new and refreshed codes that activate our DNA and continue our evolutionary experience.  So folk got cranky, folk got anxious – folk SAW where they were their “own worst enemy”, where they hold stagnant energy, where their vibration creates discord and yet collectively we were called into Service, creativity and amazement. Light, being the most highest frequency of love feels incredibly uncomfortable to those blocked areas but once you have identified and cleared the experience is simply magical, the joy, the movement, the opportunities are DIVINE and as we continue into this week we are in receipt of MORE…..ahhhh there is ALWAYS MORE

Venus, is today in superior conjunction, which means she is in front of the Gods, deep in the underworld having been stripped bare, month by month we have died an ego death, if you look back its so plain to see, each Full Moon brought change, each full Moon Venus, also known as Innana from the Sumerian texts, took herself on a journey, the story tells that she was to attend a funeral in the underworld (innerworld) but to visit this dimension it was essential for Innana to purify herself, and so each MOONth (7 in total) she took off either an item of clothing or piece of jewellery, each moon(th) represented one of the 7 gates that led to her being completely exposed, naked and then Innana was killed by her sister, Erishkigal, who represents our ego Self, then hung upside down for 3 days before being resurrected by celestial beings.

Innana is now in invisible as she sits behind the sun and from here she will begin to move back from the underworld, through the 7 gates, given back at each checkpoint what she requires, her clothes and her jewels until she once again becomes the evening star.

I am sure you can liken your path to that of Innana, and today feels much like the weighing of the feather and the heart, we have been stripping away over these past 7 gates all that is no longer required, those ego traits, those defences, those belief systems that creates loops, everything that has made us “our own worst enemy” which just so happens to be a malefic degree in Leo at 22 degrees, exactly where the Sun and Venus meets…..NOW. Those with birthdays today at this degree I am sure will agree their journey has been quite a climb, lots of obstacles to overcome, addictions would perhaps be common, and generally arrogance tends to be the topic of the life curriculum to release, but when released, when this has been realised and released the expansive opportunities are again out of this world and freeing.

The energy of this degree will no doubt be showing itself, as the cosmic surfers release the blockages that showed us to be standing in our own way and the gates of opportunity begin to fully open wide, and yet those in their unconscious slumber will be experiencing the closed gate of self to be realised and opened, stubbornness, arrogance and ignorance could well be seen in the outer world in which those following the light gems to their path will use like springboards to propel them far out of the energy and on their flight path will be realising the true authenticity of Self and the new values discovered throughout this incredible journey we have been on.

All will be Seen, all will be viewed but will you choose to act upon it, or tuck it away? Tomorrows Full Moon will could well be the deal breaker as our Luna Goddess is still fully charged with yesterdays energies.

Angels open those hearts, as wide and as expanded as possible, fill your field with the highest of Divine Love and by doing so we light up all opportunities and See exactly where we are standing in our way, we get to see what is no longer aligned and from here we get to choose to either awaken further into our truth, to choose to stay conscious and surf actively or to experience the strength and power of the under currents and become reactive in this incredible surf.  The opportunities we are now being presented with hold unlimited abundance which in turn will lovingly highlight any limitations being held.

Sharing so much love with ALL

*****

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