#its about learning how it works and whether your fear is founded or not

[goldfades]

Devin Booker angst… maybe some commitment/trust angst because of past ex cheating fallout. Good ending but deffff some angst 🫠

Another one… birthday planning for Devin. Simple for a simple man.

im gonna do the angsty one just cause i love me some good angst :) ALSO THIS IS ACTUALLY SO ANGSTY but has a happy ending!!! so be warned!!

There were things Devin never talked about.

Not because he couldn’t—but because he wouldn’t.

He had learned, a long time ago, that some things were easier left unsaid. That silence was its own kind of armor, that keeping certain thoughts locked away meant they couldn’t be used against you.

And for the most part, it worked.

Until you.

Until this.

Lately, it felt like something was slipping through the cracks. Like the space between you was stretching wider and wider, pulling taut, waiting to snap.

You felt it. He knew you did.

It was in the way you looked at him when you thought he wasn’t paying attention. The way your fingers hesitated before reaching for him, like you weren’t sure if he’d let you in or pull away.

The way you kept asking—softly, cautiously—if everything was okay.

And the way he kept saying yes, even when it wasn’t.

Because the truth was, Devin didn’t know how to talk about it.

Didn’t know how to put into words the way trust felt like something fragile in his hands, like something that could be taken from him just as easily as it had been given.

Didn’t know how to explain that every time you went out without him, every time your phone buzzed late at night, every time he saw you laugh a little too freely at something another man said—his mind went there.

Not because he thought you would hurt him.

But because someone else already had.

And the worst part?

He hated himself for it.

For doubting. For overthinking. For feeling like he was ruining something good before it could even turn bad.

But no matter how hard he tried to push it down, to pretend like it wasn’t eating at him—the feeling stayed.

And you?

You were waiting.

For him to say something.

For him to let you in.

For him to decide whether this was something worth fighting for, or something he was too afraid to hold.

The thing about trust was that it didn’t just exist. It wasn’t something you could hold in your hands, something tangible and solid, something you could tuck away and know it would stay right where you left it.

No—trust was something you had to build. Something you had to choose, over and over again.

And Devin wasn’t sure if he knew how.

Not after what happened before. Not after the late-night lies, the gut feeling he ignored for too long, the hollow apologies that didn’t mean a damn thing. Not after the way he found out, after the way he swore he wouldn’t let it happen again.

And now?

Now he was here. With you. And every time he felt himself settling in, every time he felt that quiet, terrifying kind of peace that came with loving someone the way he loved you—he felt the fear creep in, too.

Because what if he was stupid again?

What if he let himself believe in something real, only to have it slip through his fingers?

What if—

“Dev,” your voice was soft, hesitant, pulling him out of his head.

He hadn’t even realized how quiet he had gotten, how long he had been sitting there, staring at nothing while you watched him from across the room.

He blinked, forcing himself to look at you.

You were standing near the kitchen, arms crossed over your chest, the kind of tension in your shoulders that made it clear you felt it too.

The shift.

The distance.

The space that had been growing between you for weeks now.

You chewed on your bottom lip before exhaling, taking a step closer. “Are you gonna tell me what’s going on?”

His jaw tightened. “Nothing’s going on.”

Your eyes flickered with frustration. “Don’t do that.”

He sighed, running a hand over his face. “Do what?”

“Shut down on me,” you said, voice quieter now. “Act like I can’t see when something’s wrong.”

Devin leaned back against the couch, staring up at the ceiling for a moment before letting out a slow breath. “It’s not that easy.”

Your brows furrowed. “What’s not?”

He hesitated, his fingers twitching slightly against his knee. He wanted to tell you. He did.

But the words wouldn’t come.

So instead, he shook his head, letting out a humorless chuckle. “Forget it.”

You were quiet for a beat. Then—

“Do you still trust me?”

His eyes snapped to yours.

Your voice wasn’t accusing. It wasn’t angry. Just... tired.

Tired of the guessing. Tired of waiting for him to let you in.

His throat felt tight. “It’s not about that.”

You gave a hollow laugh. “That’s not an answer.”

Devin ran a hand down his face, exhaling through his nose. He could feel how badly you wanted the truth. But how was he supposed to say it? How was he supposed to admit that he did trust you, but his mind kept fighting him on it? That no matter how much he knew you weren’t the same, that you would never do that to him, his brain still found ways to convince him otherwise?

That it had nothing to do with you and everything to do with the parts of himself he hadn’t figured out how to fix yet?

So instead, he said nothing.

And that silence was louder than anything else.

You inhaled sharply, blinking hard like you were trying to keep something at bay, before nodding once. “Okay.”

He frowned, the word settling uneasily in his chest. “What does that mean?”

You let out a breath, gripping the edge of the counter. “It means I can’t keep doing this.”

His stomach twisted. “Doing what?”

“This,” you said, gesturing between you two. “Walking on eggshells. Waiting for the next time you decide to pull away. Feeling like I have to prove something that I haven’t even done.”

Guilt spread through his chest, slow and suffocating. “That’s not what I’m trying to do.”

“I know.” You swallowed, shaking your head slightly. “But that’s what’s happening.”

He didn’t know what to say to that.

Because you weren’t wrong.

You let out a slow breath, crossing your arms tighter over your chest. “I love you, Devin.”

His throat tightened. “I know.”

“And I’ve been patient,” you continued, voice softer now. “I’ve given you space, I’ve let you take your time, I’ve let you deal with whatever’s in your head the way you needed to.”

You met his gaze, eyes searching his like you were trying to find him, to reach whatever part of him had been locked away all this time.

“But at some point, you have to decide if you trust me enough to let me in.”

The words hit him square in the chest.

Because you were right.

He knew you were right.

And yet—

“I don’t know how,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper.

You exhaled slowly, nodding, like you had already known the answer before he said it out loud.

And that was the worst part.

Because the way you nodded, the way your eyes softened just slightly—it wasn’t relief. It wasn’t the kind of understanding that meant things would be okay.

It was acceptance.

Like you were realizing, maybe for the first time, that loving him might not be enough.

The silence between you stretched, thick and suffocating, until finally, you turned toward the hallway.

“I’m gonna go to bed.”

He didn’t stop you.

Didn’t reach for you.

Didn’t say the words he should have said.

And as he listened to the sound of your footsteps fading down the hall, the weight of everything he hadn’t said pressed down on his chest, heavier than ever.

Because the thing about trust?

It didn’t just exist.

And if you weren’t careful, if you let it slip away too many times—

You might wake up one day and realize you lost it before you ever had the chance to hold it.

Devin didn’t sleep that night.

He laid there, staring at the ceiling, the weight of your words pressing down on him like an anchor. He could hear the quiet rustle of sheets from the other room, the space between you feeling impossibly wide even though you were just on the other side of the wall.

This wasn’t like your usual arguments—the ones that ended with you stealing his hoodie and curling into his chest like it never happened. This felt different. More final. Like you had already made up your mind about something he wasn’t ready to face yet.

And maybe it was selfish—maybe it was stupid—but he didn’t want to lose you.

Didn’t want to watch you walk away just because he couldn’t figure out how to fix the parts of himself that someone else had broken.

So, at some point in the early hours of the morning, when the world was still quiet and the weight of everything felt too heavy to carry on his own—he got up.

The floor was cold beneath his feet as he made his way toward the bedroom, hesitating just outside the door. It was cracked open, just enough for him to see the rise and fall of your shoulders beneath the blanket.

For a second, he thought about turning around. Thought about waiting until morning, or pretending like this conversation never happened at all.

But he knew that wouldn’t work anymore.

So, instead, he stepped inside, slow and cautious, like he wasn’t sure if he was allowed.

He stood by the bed for a moment, watching the way your breathing stayed even, your body curled just slightly away from him. He wondered if you were still awake. If you had been waiting for him to come to you, or if you had already started to let go.

The thought made his chest ache.

Quietly, he sat down on the edge of the bed, his fingers brushing against the sheets. “You up?”

You didn’t say anything at first, but then—

“Yeah.”

Your voice was hoarse, like you had been holding something in for too long.

Devin swallowed hard. He wasn’t good at this part. At saying the things that mattered.

But he was trying.

“I don’t wanna lose you.”

A beat of silence. Then, you let out a slow breath, shifting slightly so you could look at him. “I don’t want to lose you either, Dev.”

His jaw tensed, his fingers twitching against the blanket. “Then why does it feel like I’m pushing you away?”

You let out a soft, tired laugh. “Because you are.”

He exhaled, pressing his palms against his face for a moment before dragging them down. “I don’t mean to.”

“I know,” you said softly. “But it’s still happening.”

Devin stayed quiet, staring down at the blanket between you. He wasn’t used to feeling this vulnerable. Wasn’t used to letting his thoughts spill out before he had the chance to shove them back down.

But if there was anyone he could say this to—it was you.

So, after a long pause, he finally admitted, “I don’t know how to let go of it.”

You furrowed your brows. “Let go of what?”

He swallowed hard, eyes flicking up to yours before dropping again. “The past.”

It was the first time he had actually said it. The first time he had admitted, out loud, that everything he was struggling with had nothing to do with you and everything to do with the shit that came before.

The betrayal. The late-night fights. The way he found out through someone else instead of hearing it from her.

The way it had made him question everything—including himself.

You were quiet for a long moment, like you were waiting to see if he would say more. When he didn’t, you sighed, shifting so you were sitting up against the headboard.

“I’m not her, Devin.”

“I know.”

“Do you?” you asked, voice softer now. “Because it feels like I’m paying for someone else’s mistakes.”

He exhaled, running a hand through his hair. “It’s not that simple.”

“It is,” you countered gently. “I love you. And I would never—never—do that to you.”

He let your words settle, rolling them over in his mind, trying to let them sink in deeper than the fear that had taken root there.

But old wounds had a way of staying open, even when you thought they were healed.

“I just—” He shook his head, struggling for the right words. “I don’t know how to trust that.”

You blinked, looking down at your hands for a moment before nodding slowly. “Then let me show you.”

His brows pulled together. “How?”

You reached out then, tentative but firm, your fingers brushing against his wrist. “By letting me in,” you said simply. “By letting me love you without you waiting for the other shoe to drop.”

Devin stared at you, his throat tight, his heart hammering against his ribs.

Because that was the real issue, wasn’t it?

He wasn’t afraid of being lied to.

He was afraid of believing in something good and watching it fall apart anyway.

But he was starting to realize—he had two choices.

He could keep pushing you away, keep letting the past dictate the way he held onto the present.

Or he could choose you.

Choose to believe in what you had.

Choose to trust that this time, it was real.

So, he made a decision.

Slowly, hesitantly, he shifted toward you, resting his forehead against yours, his fingers curling around your wrist. “I’m trying,” he murmured.

You exhaled, your free hand sliding up to cup his cheek. “That’s all I need.”

For the first time in weeks, Devin felt like he could breathe.

He wasn’t perfect. He had his shit, and there would be days where the doubt crept in, where the past threatened to pull him under.

But he wasn’t alone.

And that?

That was enough.

[michanvalentine]

Looking at the beautiful Astarion fanart here on Tumblr (thanks so much for your wonderful work, by the way), I found myself thinking about that cry after the fight with Cazador. To everything it expresses and the power of it all. It is useless to specify how heartbreaking and masterfully interpreted the sequence is. It's simply wonderful and if you don't cry too when you look at it, it means you have the emotionality of a garden gnome, lol.

But I try to empathize.

You died, not pleasantly. They beat you to death and the one who saved you was a vampire who gave you a choice you didn't have: death or eternal life. And you didn't know the consequences. You undergo a very painful transformation, become a spawn, and wake up under seven feet of dirt. Like an animal you dig your way out, with your nails, and when you reach the surface he is there waiting for you: your master. You don't understand, you're scared, he doesn't seem so reassuring anymore. And you're hungry. A hunger you didn't think possible. He gives you rules you can't break, because he controls your mind and body. You have to obey him, you have to stay by his side, you have to go hungry and, above all, you are his. Forever. And mistakes come at a high cost: after all, just existing is enough to incur the wrath of your master. And then there are the pliers and the whip for you. When you're lucky enough. Suddenly you lost all dignity as a human being and became a thing, a property. A thing with a purpose and its use to your master. What you think, what you feel, what you want doesn't matter. So you stop thinking, you stop feeling, you stop wanting. It probably hurts less. It probably keeps you from going completely crazy. You keep everything inside you. You learn to smile and obey, you can't say no anyway. You are forced into prostitution to bring back the cattle - not the people - needed to feed your master. It doesn't matter whether they are criminals, misfits or perverts of any kind. It doesn't matter if they disgust you or if they hurt you. You grit your teeth and let them use you. You keep it all inside and smile. You can't say no anyway. And your looks are the only thing you have, sex is the only talent you have. When you seduce someone, for a handful of hours, you are the one in control. You're the one pulling the strings of the game. Otherwise you are nothing. You're just a pathetic little boy who never amounted to anything. An imperfect being, despite your master's efforts to educate you. Your brothers and sisters - the other slaves - see you as weak. And like a rival. Your brothers and sisters will do anything to avoid the whip and gain the master's favor. To feed better, to sleep in a comfortable bed and not end up in the kennel. So you learn not to trust anyone, not to let your guard down, to strike first and hit hard. To be vulnerable is to be weak. To be kind is to be weak. And you spent an entire year locked in a tomb for a moment of weakness. Alone, in the dark, dying of hunger. So you keep it all inside, keep smiling and cracking jokes. Even if, after 200 years, you're a mess inside and you're falling apart. You keep smiling because you don't have a future anyway, you can't escape anyway. Appearance is all you have left and your smile is beautiful, your body is beautiful. Looks are all you have, the only thing you are desirable for. The only thing you can use to please your master and avoid torture. You keep everything inside: the loneliness, the pain, the fear, the disgust for yourself and for what you are forced to do, the sense of guilt for the people you ruined by handing them over to your master. You keep everything inside for 200 years, hidden, buried, if you prove weak you will die. You don't have to think, you don't have to feel, you don't have to want anything. This way it will hurt less.

And this is how each of those stabs inflicted on Cazador acquire power. This is how Astarion's screams and desperate cries become devastating to listen to. This is how it is impossible for the spectator not to cry. The moment in which Astarion kills and gets rid of his persecutor is masterfully directed and acted. It's a beautiful, cathartic moment that can shake you to the core. In that cry there is a whole world. There is everything that the spawn held back over those 200 years, everything that his beautiful smile hid. There is pain, desperation, relief, fear, tension, hope, loss and even grief. Because that bastard Cazador was his everything for 200 years and the void he left inside him is immense, however right, due and liberating.

And nothing, I'm all blaytering to say that I love the scene where Astarion slices up Cazador's dry ass.. For me it is a masterpiece! And I could watch it again and again and cry with the vampire spawn every time.

[yaut-jaknowit]

Gawtin x fem hunter reader

The reader having been raised on yautja prime in a family who’s striven in bloodlust, and in high demand for more hunts blinded by hunger and need, which made reader to be a good hunter but only downside is also being blinded by the need and hunger for trophy’s/hunts, stumbling upon gawtin, the 2 getting into a fight, which as the fight goes on, Gawtin grows more interested in reader.

Bloodlust

Pairing: Gawtin (Female Yautja) x GN!Reader

Word Count: 3512

Summary: Deep in the forests of Yautja Prime. A human made their name among their clan, proving they could be as great as their best hunter. You hunt for a well known cvorteilio only for the hunt to turn from bad to worse. The hunter becomes the hunted. You've also got a audience that likes what she sees. Even as you succumb to bloodlust to fight for survival.

Author Note: I never thought about this before and I love it!

P.s. Work moved my schedule AGAIN so I'm back to a 6am-2pm. Which means, I won't have as much time to write

Masterlist

Ao3

As an entire different, frail species on a completely hostile planet, it changes a person. Reduces them to what makes them at their core. That’s when its determined whether they love or perish along the land. Life lives and returns. A unending cycle that a hunter knows far too much about.

The land is unforgiving to a creature meant only as prey. It takes and only relents in giving when you’ve earned that right to nourish your form to survive another day. Not only is the wildlife trying to bring you down, the plants would love for you to slip up once. One wrong step could be the fatal blow they’ve been desperate for. To feast upon something that doesn’t belong to this world. Something new and fresh. Young.

There won’t be any slips to bring you to a fatal end. Not with the way your dam taught you. To be sure footed even on the rockiest of ground; to crush all those who want to see you under their feet. Another trophy on their wall. A decoration. Your dam saw to it you wouldn’t become prey like what everyone saw your kind to be. She thought you as a miracle when she stumbled across your abandoned form days after learning she will never bear another child. Let alone a miracle to survive for so long without substance.

Your dam made sure you’d survive. No matter what. It sort of back fired though. Once seen as meek prey amongst her clan, now you were worthy to be hunted. That your skull could be torn out of your body and adorn on a hunter’s wall. As a prize. Trading one monster for another.

Humans are seen as volatile creatures. You’ve only grown to show how much of that’s the truth.

Bloodlust.

Yautjas befall the same disease. All of them can. But you, not of Yautja-not even a drop, has fallen to these depths before. When a Yautja threatened your family name with vile disgust. You were blinded by a vision of red and tore the scum apart in a challenge. Pieces of him had to be scooped up and buried. They’ve never found where his pinkie finger disappeared to. Nor have they ever seen the three pieces of bone connected by thin twine hidden under clothing around your neck.

A mark to etch into the world of the first time you’ve gone into bloodlust.

Today was no different. The more times you succumb to the bloodlust, the easier it is to slip into it. Until you cannot be pulled free. Bad Blood. Because they cannot follow the code that their culture has been built on. So, they must be killed. Their blood purged of the universe before it can spread.

You’ve had a firm grip after showing such a sight in front of the clan. The clan leader had sparks of fear in his green eyes. A human befalling to bloodlust has never happened. He almost beheaded declared you as a bad blood and to be slaughters where you stood. But, when your eyes panned over to him… he won’t it but you saw the hesitation. The clan leader, a title earned in shed blood, couldn’t utter the words needed for your excitation. Something he probably regrets still to this day.

There are times where you’ve slipped under its control. Not often. It mainly comes in the heat of the moment. Fight or flight for survival. Or when the hunt is just that exciting.

As the hunter, the feeling of eyes made your skin crawl with gooseflesh. Anger raced along your blood as you tuned into your senses. That did little to help you, only pissing you off more. A snarl etched into your face as the feeling dissipated. This is a gaze you knew the origin of.

A Yautja.

How dare one interrupt your hunt?! If the coward decides to show their mug, you’ll show them not to mess upon your fury. With a lungful of fresh, humid air, you sprint across the branch and flung yourself to the closest limb. A singular leaf flutters down at your sudden weight. The cvorteilio below you were none the smarter at your move. Despite the eyes on you, you settle close to the trunk of the tree. A few drops of sweat trickle down your face. You use the back of your hand to wipe them away and focus on the pack below you.

The heat of the new morning beat down on you despite the foliage providing shade. A quick swig of your water helps quench your thirst. You tie the pouch back to your hip. The pack continues to laze in comfort, not expecting to be hunted. Let alone at this time of day.

Two suns rose high in the blue sky, pounding heat and humidity of the jungle. The bow slips off of your shoulders; an arrow notched. One specific predator lies amongst his pack. A seasoned male who’s time was soon coming to an end. Either by your hand or to the rising male. You waited until the youngster was ready to take over the pack. Your dam had raised you well.

Said leader was lying on his side, stretched out as if he had nothing to fret about. If only he knew of the danger from above. You pulled the notched arrow back. The taunt and steady string against your finger tips. Your lungs filled with air, held for a second before you released both the arrow and air in the same motion.

A high pitch whistle and dull thud is what your ears hear. Then, chaos.

Your marks leaps to his paws with a mighty roar that vibrated the tree branch you were perched on. A gasp surpassed your lips as the male shot its gaze up and found your form among the tree. Its form screamed dangerous. Those eyes that called for your death. Honestly, you felt fear at the mistake. Fear was good. You used it for the adrenaline dump into your system and notched another arrow.

It whistled through the air and landed with a dull thud where the cvorteilio once were. Its feathered plume was raised while it gave warning calls that sent the rest of the pack either to fell and join his side. You sent another arrow at its heart and hissed when it refused to take the hit.

Despite the height of the enormous tree offer, the cvorteilios began to climb. The leader was the first to begin the ascent to your crouched position. A snarl rattle the back of your throat. There was no need in being quiet anymore. His claws dug deeply into the thick, near fireproof bark. Another was sent flying but only embedded into his shoulder. Not deep enough to do fatal damage.

More cvorteilio clambered onto the thick trunk. Your options grew increasingly thin. There was no running, no amount of climbing that could save you. Now, the only chance for survival was your favorite.

Hunting.

Your lips spilt into what anyone would call a psychotic smirk.

Arrows flew threw the humid air. All landing with a dull sound yet no all hitting their marks. But the pained noises is all you needed to hear before leaping to another branch to defend that side of the tree. It was fruitless. That only worsened when you reached behind your head and felt nothing but air. A curse leaving your lips. The prized bow was slipped back into place. Then, a well decorated spear was pulled free from your belt and extended it to its full height.

The silver metal shined beautifully in the full light. Your grip firm yet gentle like balancing on thin ice and going for the short. Sweat beaded down your face, nearly blinding you. The thick, humid air made it hard don your lungs. You were forced to slow your movements so the device in your lungs could keep up. Even technology has its limits to allowing a different species from surviving on Yautja Prime.

A narrowing of your gaze did nothing to the advancing group. A telltale sign behind you alerted you to one cvorteilio had made it. A fine female you would’ve chosen next to the leader. She lowered her jaw. Drool dripping from her dangerous maw, teeth glinting in the sunlight. You held your spear and stepped backwards so none could surprise you from behind.

She stalked forward on her front bird-like limbs and back canine paws. Almost like a wingless griffin. A very dangerous wingless griffin who was more than happy to tear you apart.

You never give her the chance and charged forward with a battle roar. Spear in hand. The female snarled back and leapt forward in hopes of surprising and overpowering you in one swoop. But, you buried one end of your staff into the branch. The other end slicing threw fur, flesh, and organs with no force at all. Her heavy weight sent her crashing all the way down until one end stuck out of her back and her belly met the branch. It was now slick with her blue blood. Still in the fight, the creature snarled and swiped her fatal claws at you.

Pain lightning across your flesh. Blood mixing with your salty sweat, making the now spilt wounds sting. You gave a hiss and stumble backwards then, you cursed yourself when the large form slid to the side then going into freefall.

With your spear.

More cvorteilio landed on either ends of the branch you stood upon. Others were nearby. Six. All adults. All skilled within their pack. All prepared to die to defend against the clear threat to their territory and way of life. Something you would’ve applaud them if it wasn’t for the threat to your own life.

Both loses of your primary and secondary weapons weighted heavy. If you dam was here to watch this fatal error, she’d be raging at how you could be such a fool. So, you pulled free your small parrying knives. The last resort for your survival.

The next to attack didn’t follow the same footsteps of its predecessor. It kept its vulnerable bits low to the ground and darted forward with lightning moves. You barely had time to draw up a knife to divert a blow that would’ve torn your face clean off. You brought the other sharp weapon and feel it slice through fur and muscle.

Blood and sprayed in a beautiful arch over your face, arms, and chest. Marking you with the blood your prey.

An artery had been severed. The blood spurting out with each beat of its now weakening heart. It would only have minutes before it would die from blood loss. You grinned and dodged another feeble attempt to harm you. Claws swiping through the air you once stood. You dance around another attack and drove the same blade into one of the main arteries of its neck. The shrill cry it gave was music to your ears. It jerked away from you, stumbled over its own paws. Then, its form pitched over the edge of the branch.

Down it went.

Four more to go.

You met every other with the same fierceness. Red entering your vision as another contender steps up to.

Five bodies litter the ground at the base of the tree. Blood drowns you. A mix of blue and red to make a near black purple. Your chest heaved with each deep breath you took to regain the lost air.

The sixth body stood near in front of you. The very prize all this started today. A rumble vibrating the back of your throat. A well know Yautja pleased noise. “Come on now. I’ve earned your head.” Then, you launched yourself at the leader, wanting to spill blood. No. A deep, rooted need that your own blood sung to bathe in.

He read the move. His body rolled to the side and whirled around. Your back to the trunk of the three now, limiting your space of movement. A hiss of displeasure left your lips before the beast stalked closer. You mirrored the movements, not willing to give up any space to him.

One dodged had another set of claws raking down your back and skidded across your rib cage. The red in your vision swarmed until it thickened. You released a howl from the depths of hell itself. You whipped around with a new fury driving your muscles.

He makes another move to attack but you watched it in slow motion. You rolled into his space and drive the blade of your knife into the soft mushy underside of his belly. The sharp metal slice up from pelvis all the way to his sternum.

Blue blood and intestines spill from the clean cut and drowned you like a paya praised warrior. The hunter you were born as. You gave one last roar that echoed for miles before slumbering to your blood knees. Everything about yourself was drenched in gallows of blood. You panted heavily and noticed the red starting to fade away.

Your spine locked up, head whipping up to the left. Nearly the same color as the leaves around her, stood a female form. A biomask covers her features and gives away nothing besides the feeling of her piercing gaze on you. The red in your vision doubled. A fiery snarl ripped at your throat. Blood coated hands made holding your knives nearly impossible. Even with an iron grip, the handles wanted to slip out of your hands. So, you threw the blades into the branch and launched yourself forward. A roar left your lips only to be cut off.

The view before you changed in a second. Your back slams into the hard bark that once was beneath your feet. A strangled, choked groan is all you can give. The move throwing you off balance mentally and physically. The red threatened to evaporate but you clasped onto it with an iron grip.

You kicked, clawed, and even tried to bite at the form pinning you down. Even the human body has it’s limits.

Her voice over came the roaring of blood in your ears. “Calm. Clam. Soothe, little one,” she cooed to you. The rest of your reservoir depleted. Your chest heaved with each breath you took. Her masked face hovered over your sweat-soaked, blood-drenched form.

Once you finally caught your breath, the green female Yautja releases your throat and pulls away to stand a towering height above your prone form. Exhausted, you sit up and rest back on a hand. Propper up. You can barely look up at her.

One thing you questioned: why wasn’t she killing you?

This one wasn’t from your clan. Humans are considered forbidden to be on Yautja prime. Kill on sight. Yet, she hesitates… or won’t do it at all.

In reaction, your eyes narrowed, lips drawing tight over your slight pointed teeth. If she were to grant you mercy to see another day, you won’t waste it by angering her.

Her masked face glanced side to side, over the edge of the branch. Down at the carnage left in your wake. “I have never seen a ooman go into bloodlust,” she spoke, intrigued at the situation. “you have clan markings as well.” You didn’t need to see her eyes to know they were sparkling with curiosity and mirth. You couldn’t tell if you liked it or not.

With your markings decorating both of your arms, proudly slating what clan and family you come from. Markings you had to work twice as hard for. Just to prove you were worthy of them as a ooman. You pulled yourself to your feet, head confidently raised. You weren’t going to let her mock you.

A snort enters the air. “I don not even need to see the entire clan marking to know where you come from. That posture is well known.” You bristled, feeling offended at her mocking you. If only you had the energy to issue a challenge and teach her you were something to stifle with. But after defeating six adult cvorteilios, you could barely lift a finger. You’d call upon some of your hunt siblings to help carry them back for the entire clan. Nothing will go to waste.

She reaches up and tugs the bio-mask from her… oh Paya, she’s beautiful. Here top, right mandible was cracked. She had a crown of spikes on her head. Then, her gorgeous eyes. The purple so vibrant you swore they glowed in the daylight.

“Calm, little hunter. You have done your fight. I do not challenge you,” she coos to you again, soothing most of your jittery feelings. “I spotted you amidst your hunt and decided to watch. You are very skilled. You were taught well by a great teacher then. They are proud.” All statements. The female highly confident in her words.

So that was the eyes you had felt earlier. You didn’t know if the quelled the unease in your belly or just made it worse. It made sense spotting her was impossible even without the camouflage. Her green scales matching the foliage nearly perfectly. Lucky.

“if you desire help, I am more than happy to do so. I can retrieve my ship and aid in carrying your hunts home.” With this amount of kills, it wasn’t demeaning to ask for help either.

You narrowed your eyes on her then dipped your head in agreement. Her upper mandibles pulled up into a grin. The female took off and left you standing on the branch, covered in blood, sweat, and guts still. It was beginning to dry and flake off of you. You ignore the familiar feeling to take a few hearty swigs of your water sin. Then, you start the process and lowering the gutted cvorteilio down to the ground alongside its fallen pack members.

By the time she came back, ship carefully docked, you had said your prayers and prepared the bodies to move. The two of you loaded each one in the cargo hold. You boarded her ship and took a seat besides her in the cockpit. The ship was pulled expertly up into the air and gliding over the massive trees you called home.

Along the way, you checked up on the arrows and spear you retrieved, checking for any damage. You kept peeking at her from the corner of your eye, drinking in the sight of her beautiful face. Then, her eyes caught yours. She chuckled. “Ask away.” The one thing that gives you away… your eyes.

“Your name.” How rude of you. “Apologies. What is your name?” you rephrased the question to be more polite. She was giving you a kind of gesture after all. Then, you told her yours to be kind and open for causal conversation.  You wanted to learn more about her. Anything. Though impossible, you couldn’t help your thoughts about her.

She repeats your name a couple of times. In your delusional state, you really liked the sound of her name coming from her mouth. “I am called Gawtin.” Even her name was pretty and rolled off of your tongue smoothly.

“Mm, that’s a pretty name,” you mumbled mainly to yourself but you weren’t as quiet as you thought.

A smoothing purr rumbled from her throat and vibrated the air. Get it together. Stop saying stupid shit like that. “Why thank you, little hunter.” Paya, the names she keeps calling you. Usually offensive if not taken a certain way. You were used to it from your hunt siblings and your dam.

Sooner than you liked, the ship sets down in a larger enough spot close to your home. The two of your work in tandem to bring each carcass to the base of your tree home.

It was over quicker then you wanted it to be. Nerves light up along your spine. A prickling feeling. Cursing yourself for your humanness, and these damn feelings that weren’t very Yautja-like. You watched her bid you goodbye and walked for the door.

Panic. Your heart racing wildly in your chest. “Wait! Gawtin,” you called after her then cursed yourself again for a silly, childish move. You take a breath to help settle your nerves. “I… I would like to see you. If possible.” As a human, you knew you had no grounds to speak to anyone outside of your protected clan. Or else you’ll find yourself dead and mounted on someone’s wall.

Gawtin paused just shy of the ramp of her ship and glanced over her shoulder. “I would like that too, little one. Where I can finally challenge you and see what your skills are.” A challenge?! There were many different types of challenges. The man two though are a fight to the death or until they forfeit.

You answered with an nod, not trusting your voice. Gawtin smiled then ascend into her ship, leaving you with that promise. To fight her? A challenge. How lucky you were!

[lovewitchtarot]

general tarot reading

this is a very random reading there's no rhyme or reason to it its just what came up for me when I pulled cards for all the piles some of it is love and relationships and some of it is work and school

Disclaimer: This is a collective reading; take what resonates, leave what doesn't. Never use tarot readings for medical or legal advice, and for the sake of legality, don't act on anything that could potentially hurt you or others because of a tarot reading. Don't take this reading or any others too seriously. Remember, this is for the collective, not just one person.

Pile one

Don't be afraid to embrace who you are; do what makes you happy without fear of what other people may think or say. Engage in hobbies and things that really make you happy. Now would be a good time to explore your shadow self as well, do shadow work, and dig deep into who you are as a person. Self-acceptance is really important for you. Now would be a good time to channel your creativity into a new hobby or project. Try new things with the thought of progress and self-exploration instead of fear of failure. Try to be more fact-based, although it can be hard to get out of your head. Remember to think logically and take other people's thoughts and feelings into perspective before you act or make a decision. Don't think so quickly; take time to understand before you do things. Be kind to yourself; don't let life knock you down. Even when times get tough, remember to be kind to your heart and your soul. Nourish yourself with self-care and self-love. If you are having a hard time in love, remember the saying “don't chase butterflies; instead, build a beautiful garden and wait for the butterflies to come to you. If the butterflies don't come, then you still have a beautiful garden.” Self-love and self-improvement are so important. Even if you aren't going through anything tough, remember to love yourself and treat yourself with kindness. It is time to take a journey that could be school- or work-based, but you are ready for a big change—a positive one. Be prepared to receive a spiritual gift. This gift is going to be vast and incredible. You are going to gain great success and wisdom, or you may already have it, but with this success and wisdom, you are going to become a great leader. You are about to come into a very memorable and incredible time in your life. I'm seeing a new school, maybe college, or a new job. This is the time of your life to make memories and just “go for it." . I'm hearing “you only live once” to describe this energy. You also need to accept the past; you need to learn to trust again; and you need to let go of this stagnant energy. Also, remember that it's okay to make mistakes; it's how we learn, so don't hold onto your past mistakes. Don't forget to balance your professional life and your personal life; keep them separate and balanced. Don't forget to use your intuition. Don't be afraid to live your truth as yourself and wear it with pride. I see a counterpart coming into your life; this could be a friend or a spouse. This person could already be in your life, but this is a divine counterpart. You two are harmonious together, and you have or will have a beautiful relationship, whether it is platonic or romantic. 

Pile two

You are a very talented person. You may not have found your talent, but once you do, you can expect to be able to make a career from it. The career you end up pursuing will be very fun for you, and you'll love work. If you are currently working and you don't feel this way, then don't expect this to be your permanent job. There is about to be a choice or decision that sets a lot of change into motion. This is a positive change that you will greatly benefit from. Again,  this could be a new job throughout this change. Be flexible and go with what life brings, as it's inevitable to fight. Don't be afraid to direct it, though you still have control in many aspects. I see you standing up, maybe for your beliefs or rights. I see you fighting for what's right. I see you stepping into your spirituality; you are a naturally spiritual persona, and I see you learning to channel it into your practices. You may just be starting out on your spiritual journey, or you may have been on it for a while, and you're just now getting ready to level up. Remember to balance spirituality with your everyday life. Stay grounded and don't live in your third-eye energy so much. Remember to stay spiritually protected and cleansed; physically cleansing your space is a great way to invite positive energy in and expel negative energy from your life. If you're going through a slump, try to clean your space both physically and spiritually. Also, indulge in self-care, replenish your soul, and see how things positively change around you. It's time to step into your healing energy and take time to heal from the inside out. Eat more warm foods, as comfort is really being prioritized right now, but don't only feed your body; also feed your soul. Someone is currently thinking of you as a friend, but I see more of a love interest, and I see that this particular relationship is about to level up significantly. Don't neglect your friendships with your partner. Remember that all of your relationships, romantic and platonic, are equally important, so make time for friends and family as well. Be on the lookout for manifestations, as they are about to appear in front of you. This could be a manifestation that has been long in progress, so be prepared for that. There are going to be temptations in your path, but stay focused and patient, as the right outcome for you will soon appear and you will be triumphant. You are really stepping into your spirituality, and it is going to do great things for you. I'm seeing a romantic partner coming, though. Try to pamper yourself, even if you find it hard; it is extremely important. 

pile three

You are going to be traveling soon and setting out on new adventures. You are going to have a completely fresh start as well. This could mean that you are moving or just going on a trip. I see you studying abroad as well. Cycles are going to come to an end. This could also mean graduating either from school or a work position (moving up in the company or to an entirely new job). You will be making a new romantic connection or strengthening an old one. This person is very romantic and sensual. This relationship is going to be or is absolutely wonderful and fulfilling. However, don't overly push things; they will happen when the time comes, and make sure each person is putting in equal amounts of effort and contributing their share. Overcome any fears you may have, as they are holding you back from your full potential. Trust your intuition when it comes to finding out the truth about situations and other people. Don't be afraid to dig deep into things to learn the full truth about them. Keep up your spirits if things go wrong. Don't turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms; ground yourself and try yoga or meditation. You are soon to be recognized for your hard work; this could also include receiving a reward. Remain faithful and loyal to your friends and other relationships, as it is very important. If you need support and encouragement, don't be afraid to seek it out, but also don't be scared to give it in return, as it is the best gift to give someone. Make sure to stay protected both spiritually and physically, but mainly physically. If you end up traveling, be sure to be safe on your adventures. Now would be a good time to dive into your creative side and try different types of art, as I can see you really benefiting from it. Mass abundance is coming your way. This could be physical things or it could be more sentimental things, such as friends or memories. Don't be scared to speak up for what's right. I can see you stepping into a motherly energy that can apply to anyone, whether you want kids or not. You can be motherly to your plants or animals, even just your friends and family.

[voltronisanobsession]

So you like my ideas, huh? Well, I hope I can continue to create some good ones for you! I shall try my best 🫡

Oh! I do have one request in mind, how about Percy being paired with reader who’s the child of Athena? Yes, yes, I know an amazing half-blood known as Annabeth exists but I had something in mind.

We all know how children of Athena are seen as wise, intellectual, clever, and combative people but what if the reader was different than that? There’s several types of intelligence after all, so what if they specialized in emotional intelligence and craft?

I can see them being insecure of their “abilities” since they know their siblings can do better, and even fear that Athena herself is disappointed in them, but, while Percy thought it was strange at first, he soon found himself enjoying those traits.

I mean, with their emotional intelligence, the reader knows when he’s upset no matter how hard he tries to hide it, and they tend to give him gifts like Melinoe!reader. They’re probably usually architectural models, weavings, mini sculptures of what he enjoys… You know all that good stuff. They probably gifted him something as something to remember them by when he went on a quest… but I’ll leave that up to you.

Combat practice to bond/as dates 👀?

Also, I’m not sure if you saw, but I like long headcanons so stop apologizing and keep it up!/lh

Poor all of your thoughts into it if you have to or want, I like it!

Percy with a Child of Athena!Reader

I literally LOVE these detailed asks UGGHHH!! I love the idea of instead having a different form of intelligence as a child of athena like damn😍 I'm getting used to brain dumping on these, its a work in progress🙈

Sorry for answering so late😭

Lowkey this reader sticks out like a sore thumb amongst their siblings😭

I like to think that most Athena kids are usually on the more serious sides, so it surprises a lot of campers outside of the Athena cabin to see Reader extremely expressive!

While the other Athena children spend their time devising tactical plans for big camp games, reader is just on the side doodling architectural designs and whatnot

They aren’t as involved in what their siblings do because it doesn’t interest them much

Like whenever they try and ask for readers opinions and start using big ass words, they just smile and nod cuz they had no idea what the others were saying

Athena's children are extremely intelligent so its difficult for reader to be on the same wave length as their siblings

It lowkey makes them feel like an outcast in their cabin because they cant really connect with their siblings like they do with each other while they talk about subjects beyond reader’s comprehension

Constantly being surrounded by books, scrolls and maps full of knowledge, reader often beats themselves over not being able to comprehend and show interest in wanting to learn about these types of things

They’re led to believing that they are a defect amongst their mothers children (crying)

They are always surrounded by reminders of their own inabilities to match their sibling’s intelligence which is why they spend little time in the Athena cabin, and even littler time with their siblings

Readers only saving grace is that they are always in tune with peoples emotions and feelings, no matter how well or little they know the people around them

Whether its feelings of anxiousness, sadness, quiet anger, or happiness, reader always seems to know how a person is feeling!

The first time Percy meets reader is when he spots them at the crafting hut

Being one of his first activities in the beginning of the day, he notices how reader is always there before anyone else

Percy probably thought you were apart of the Hephaestus cabin or something like that with how many times he’s seen you sculpting and carving away at a new project every other day

So he’s surprised when you reveal that you’re actually a child of Athena

He would definitely notice how you distance yourself from your siblings, especially during breakfast, lunch and dinner

He’s good friends with Annabeth so he sees the differences between you, her and your siblings

While she and her siblings are more closed off and have their noses stuck up a new book everyday, your always seen drawing or weaving a new tapestry for your cabin

You show your emotions more openly compared to their more dismissive nature as well!

He definitely sees you as the 'social butterfly' of the Athena cabin

The more time he spends with reader though, he notices just how in tune they are with his feelings

He could give the smallest, most insignificant indication that he's had a bad day and you'd be able to read him like an open book

It's easy talking to you about his conflicting emotions, your patience and thoughtful expression gives him more confidence to just let everything out

I think he would definitely fall for how empathetic you are in many situations

You've made many friends with campers from different cabins because of this quality trait! Always learning and understanding a situation/conflict that arises, you're always able to resolve the problems that makes it fair for all parties involved

Despite this, Percy is confused and a bit surprised to find out that you're actually insecure about this dominating trait of yours

"What?! It's literally the best thing about you though!"

"I know but its just! My siblings aren't the way I am. They're able to actually use their skills for something. All I can do is listen to people and make friends. That's nothing special. I'm useless."

It PAINS him to hear you say that because its obvious you don't understand the importance of being as emotionally intelligent as you are

He makes it his mission to show you just how many people you've helped, to show you that you have a reason to be proud of what you're able to do!

You slowly open yourself more after hearing all his reassurance, from him and other people around camp

It's definitely a positive change as you have a pep to your step now. You engage with you siblings more now that you have a confidence in your own abilities.

You make him many sculptures as thank you gifts! Even when he says that you don't need to, you cant help admit that enjoy giving him these gifts with a nervous smile

You've made him a mini version Riptide and even have given him a small owl pendant

You were hesitant to give him the pendant because it seemed more intimate compared to your other gifts, but he happily accepted it with a soft smile

AND WHEN HE PUT THE PENDANT ON IN FRONT OF YOU YOUR HEART NEARLY LEPT OUT OF YOUR CHEST I CCANNTTT

I think reader would be pretty aware of Percy's feelings for them which makes them feel fuzzy

So imagine how you feel when Percy pulls up to you one late afternoon after not seeing him for the entire day to give you a small pendant of his own

The sculpting of the trident is definitely more crude and less detailed compared to the one you gave him, something Percy abashedly admits but you wave him off

"It's beautiful, thank you Percy."

"No problem, now we're matching!"

You're aware of your own feelings for him as you are aware of his feelings for you, so it doesn't take long for a confession to happen

I mean matching pendants? come on bro its so painfully obvious to everyone

Percy falls for who reader is, not because their a child of Athena

He doesn't care that you're different from your siblings because he understands everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses

You still represent Athena with pride and he'll happily support you till the end

PERCY IS SUCH A GREEN FLAG IN GENERAL I LOVE WRITING FOR HIM💔💔

[yermes]

A reading for everyone who will most likely end up on RFK’s brain worms list 🪱

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Pick a meme

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Disclaimer: please take what I say with a grain of salt and not as the gospel. I just want to share some ideas of practicing and giving advice using the medium as often as I can with school, work, and my own personal studies and practice. But I am working on sharing my notes soon so that will be exciting! Liking and sharing does a lot 🥰

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Socials: My Socials **☾**

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The cards

Page of swords 🗡️

You are thirsty for knowledge and you are in your academic weapon era, whether that is in school or just oyo research, both are very valid either way. But queen, babes, pookie, the pursuit of knowledge isn’t a race and it is not a popularity contest. The world is crazy competitive enough, you can learn at your own pace, your own rate, and do things that actively contribute towards your overall wellness and cradle of knowledge you are cultivating. Like babes, I agree you won’t learn everything from and institution and its important to have some OYO type of research, but touch some grass, hug a friend. Call your mom, you can learn things through the power of love and empathy as well, nothing is a race and the pursuit of intelligence is nothing without a loving heart with you.

The deluge 🌲

It is an emotional time, it is a hard time, and honestly do not hold back, let the tears out, cry, embrace the hardships, the fear and everything emotion which comes along with it. Cry hard and often, feel what you need, release inhibitions and sink into your lower tendencies as reaching for divinity had you falling back towards the sea. It is okay to feel defeated, it is okay to feel hopeless, but just remember you can only change things that are in your control, you can control yourself, and unfortunately no one else. You cannot live through other people even if it would be better for them and you can see shit way more clearly than them. Do not feel badly for those who forsaken themselves to their own bad fate, you can only worry about you and your choices, you can’t take the burden for others and their shit choices.

II of pents 🔖

Life is a balancing act and some how you are pulling it off without all the hats you wear crashing to the floor. Honestly I don’t know how you do it bc I am fucking struggling rn. You have spent a lot of time building a mature base, taking care of others, taking care of yourself, AND GETTING WORK DONE????? Do you sleep? How do you milk all of those hours out of a day. I am genuinely perplexed and frightened. But honestly with all of your earthly affairs balanced, how are your spiritual affairs? Have you spent enough time staring into the eldritch horror that is the soul, have you spent enough time contemplating the divine, have you found god, looked him in the

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Extras:

Story/vent: 📎

I am so hyped for my neurology lab cominv up

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[ghostyclay]

ITS FINALLY EVIL X DAY!!!! its alt hermit day but thats close enough lmfao

I drew another artwork of my evil x milk snake au, aka evil snake au!!!

BC HE IS MY FAV EVIL LITTLE GUY EVER, AND IVE NEVER ACTUALLY TALKED ABOUT THIS AU ANYWHERE, YALL GET BOTH ART AND WRITING FOR @hermitadaymay !!! BC IM GONA INTRODUCE THE AU BELOW:

So, its supposed to be a typical medival fantasy au, where magic is demonized (similarly to bbc merlin) and anything magic-like is either illegal, or v stigmatized. (ya usually get hunted down or burned at the stake if u use any magic. The stigma part is that when ppl are a victim of some sorta magic curse or sth, unless they r royal, they are usually victim blamed for it / called a witch too)

Now, Xisuma and Evil X were the sons of a rich nobleman. (both human, but not for long) Xisuma was the older brother and after their father died a young death, he began to take care of ex. While Xisuma was following their father's footsteps, young ex discovered his love for fighting and began training to become a knight. (which is how he meet hels).

However, little did ex know, while he was learning how to hunt man and witch alike, his brother was secretly practicing magic. (my idea is that he meet GenerikB at some point, who was a friend of their father & Xisuma's mentor after his dads death. He was also secretly part of a coven.)

A couple years pass, ex starts working as a guard (while hels officially becomes a knight) and one of his first jobs is capturing a loose shifter/were. (=humans who can shift into animals or anthropomorphic humans, think werewolves/hybrids). However, Xisuma, the local undercover witch, helps the shifter hide and gets found out. Cue Evil x is put infront of a moral dilemma: save his brother or stay a knight?

Ofc our evil little guy says fuck you to Xisuma. Especially bc x never told him and basically made him an accomplice by hiding the shifter in their house. (how dare X help one of the people ex is supposed to hunt down! Is this why hes always been so critical about Exs work?)

So uh yeah ex and the guards chase Xisuma out the city, who escapes with the shifter thanks to his secret witch abilities. (and ex has the horrifying realization that Xisuma has been practicing magic behind their back all this time.)

X goes off and makes hermitcraft, a sanctuary for shifters and witches alike, ex continues working as an evil knight, blablabla...

"But Clay" you ask, "how come ex is a snake in your art?"

Well, you see, the problem with hunting down witches and shit all the time, is that ur gona be the target of magic attacks eventually. Burns, potions, spells... Ex has seen it all.

Well.

Almost everything.

Until one day, a witch curses him as she burns at the stake. He doesn't think anything of it at first, plenty of people have done similar things and nothing happened because most of the people they kill aren't actually able to use powerful spells. They are just innocent civilians and shifters.

But one day, his body begins to change. His legs feel weak and strange, he starts to struggle with balance, and just when he thinks it cant get any worse, scales begin to grow on his legs...

Wait what?

Well, ofc someone (hels) notices eventually. And ofc, just like Xisuma, ex gets chased out the village.

And that is how ex becomes a snake hybrid, hiding away in a far away forest, killing anyone who comes too close to it, in fear of getting killed for his curse :)

There's more to this au, which i will explain eventually! But rn im busy deciding whether i wanna turn this into a comic, fic, or other format.

[hyperfixatedoncrimminalminds]

Hi! I love your one shots soooo much they are super cool! Could you do one with a gender fluid unsub around 14 who is hotchs child and like has been killing since hailey died and they go on cases and always kill wherever their cases are? I probably phrased this horribly but to bad! (:

Aaron Hotchner X Unsub Teen Reader

Request: Hi! I love your one shots soooo much they are super cool! Could you do one with a gender fluid unsub around 14 who is hotchs child and like has been killing since hailey died and they go on cases and always kill wherever their cases are? I probably phrased this horribly but to bad! (:

Third person pov...

The rain pounded against the windows of the BAU, mixing with the tension that hung thick in the air.

A team of elite profilers, once accustomed to solving the most heinous crimes, had been uncharacteristically stumped lately. Even their veteran leader, Aaron Hotchner, was feeling the pressure to crack this case.

“Another body found in Phoenix,” Garcia’s voice chimed through the conference room.

“Same MO as the last three we tracked. And it’s almost as if whoever is behind this is toying with us. The victims were all found in different locations, and there’s no connection beyond the way they were killed.”

Hotch stood at the head of the table, his jaw set as he processed the information. What remained unspoken hung like a thick veil in the room—his child.

Y/N had been accompanying the team for the past few months. They were brilliant and keen, yet something darker stirred within them—something rooted in a tragedy that had left its mark on the family.

It was one year since Hailey’s shocking death, and in that time, Y/N had transformed. Once a bright, cheerful teenager who wore their heart on their sleeve, they were now a whirlwind of secrecy and shadows.

The pain of losing their mother had morphed their grief into a need for retribution. They had been the one to inform Hotch about their first kill, a desperate declaration of their struggle with the chaos swirling inside.

“I want to help,” they had said, their eyes sparkling, yet haunted. “I never want anyone to feel how I felt when Mom died.”

Hotch’s heart ached at the memory. He was helpless to contain the darkness blossoming within Y/N, and what he feared most was that they might one day become the very thing they sought to destroy.

As the team piled into the jet, Hotch’s gaze fell on Y/N, sitting silently, headphones in their ears, lost in their own world.

Their style had evolved into a blend of what-they-wanted-to-be and what-they-resented; garments tailored not to gender expectations, but rather an expression of their multifaceted self—a mixture of floral patterns contrasted with edgy leather, layers lending complexity to an already intricate persona.

“Are you alright?” Hotch asked softly, leaning closer, though they didn’t quite meet his eyes.

“I’m fine,” Y/N replied, the words almost rehearsed, a barrier against the turmoil that awaited exploration. “I want to help, to make a difference.”

The words hung in the air, and beneath them was something deeper, more menacing. Hotch couldn’t shake the feeling that Y/N was seeking not just to help, but to find solace through something darker—not just shaping justice, but perhaps defining it through blood.

When they landed in Phoenix, the tempo of the city pulsed around them; sirens sang through the streets, and chaos bubbled beneath the surface.

The BAU team wasted no time regarding the case. Teaming up with local law enforcement, they reviewed the crime scenes, learning the patterns that unfolded with each new victim.

Y/N observed with an intensity that fascinated and terrified Hotch.

As they pieced together the clues, he struggled to decipher whether they were contributing to the investigation or secretly plotting their next move.

Days blended into nights as the team worked relentlessly. Each day they’d visit the scenes of the grisly murders, with Y/N becoming more withdrawn and brooding.

They had become an expert at slipping away unnoticed, coming and going like a phantom that haunted the edges of their father’s life.

During one evening, Hotch found them beneath a flickering streetlight, sketching something in a weathered notebook. “What are you drawing?” he asked softly, trying to bridge the vast emotional gulf that had formed between them.

“My thoughts,” Y/N murmured, not raising their eyes from the page. “Of Mom. Of… everything.”

Hotch’s heart tightened. “You don’t have to carry this alone, you know. I’m here.”

“Maybe I don’t want to just be here,” Y/N admitted, their voice barely above a whisper. “Maybe I want to be something else. Something that means something.”

“You are so much more than you realize. Your mother would have wanted—”

“Mom’s dead,” Y/N interrupted, the sadness transforming into an uncharacteristic ferocity. “Do you think I haven’t thought about it every day, every single moment?”

Hotch swallowed hard, trying to suppress the rising tide of frustration and fear. “You have the chance to make a difference in the right way. Let us help you—”

“Sure, help me by stopping the bad guys,” they shot back, standing abruptly, their emotions boiling over. “You mean help me keep the things I want to do in check? Help me pretend I’m not hurting? I don’t need that. I need something much more… satisfying.”

The confrontation felt like a turning point. In that moment, Hotch truly understood the internal war raging within his child. It wasn’t just about grief; it was about an urge to exert control in a world that felt chaotic and lost.

Understanding this collided with the haunting realization of their possible actions. As each day passed, bodies continued to pile up in unspeakably horrific ways. Their killer—a shadowy figure playing mind games with the authorities—remained elusive, and as clues began to mount, a nagging sense of familiarity clawed at Hotch’s memory.

Finally, everything clicked into place when a witness emerged with descriptions of the killer’s attire. Everything fit perfectly with Y/N’s style.

Hotch’s pulse raced as anxiety gripped him; he had to find Y/N before they reached a point of no return. A frantic search of bars and alleys began while Garcia worked on tracing their phone virtually everywhere.

When he finally found them—a confrontation under the same streetlight, with the echo of sirens blaring in the distance—there was a blood-stained knife clutched in Y/N’s hand. Their expression flickered between triumph and despair.

“I did it, Dad. I stopped them,” they whispered, trembling as they gazed into his eyes.

“You’re not a monster,” Hotch pleaded, his heart racing. “But this isn’t justice. This will only destroy you from the inside out.”

Silence hung between them for an agonizing breath, before Y/N dropped the knife, the clatter breaking a spell. “But I killed for you,” they sobbed. “For us.”

Hotch stepped forward, carefully reaching for them. “We can find a better way, together. This—this isn’t the path your mother would want for you.”

As Y/N fell into his embrace, the darkness quelling its hold, the rain began to pour once more, washing away every trace—a promise for a better tomorrow: healing, understanding, and love forged through pain. They stood together under the flickering streetlight.

The end!

Hope you liked this one shot, sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes.

Request are open!

Word count: 1207

[vinestaffery]

HAIIII Since ur request is open, i wanna ask for subspace x gn human reader!! I want it to be scenario please🙏 The plot is uhmm the reader just wandering aimlessly in Phighting wondering where the hell they are and they met subspace and then its up to you, thank youu..

HIHI!! OFC!!! I might actually change the 3 request thing because now it just overall motivates me. I will also be using my fan-faction, specifically since I have major lore for it. Anyways, enjoy!! Thank you for requesting <3

SUBSPACE X READER

Your lost from your faction, but what happens when you see a certain pink scientist not too far away?

When you first escaped your faction, it was entirely out of pure fear. You had no real exposure to the actual world from the outside.

So, aimlessly, you walked. You walked every street, checked every corner that you could reside in, and continued on. 

That was until you caught the light of a certain demon from afar. 

Subspace!!!!

You had no clue who he was, but he seemed to have caught your attention, especially with your unique sense of clothing. 

“Oh my!!” and he rushed up to you. You had no clue what was going to happen, but you prepared yourself for any collision of harm.

Seeing his strange sense of fashion choices, he stopped when he saw you were armed. 

But who is that to stop the Great and Powerful Subspace?

“Who are you?”

“I would be asking the same thing!”

You didn’t take kindly to his games, but you knew very well that he would be a great person for guidance. Especially with the fact that he seemed to know the area.

“I asked first!” 

“And I asked second... Now, who are you?” 

You couldn’t help but question yourself about whether you trusted them, but you were all for it.

“I am... but I am not from this place. Where am I?”

He couldn’t help but be confused. How could you not know where you were from?

“Well then…!!! Interesting, I am Subspace T. Mine, the prime head scientist of the greatest faction, Blackrock's robotics division!” 

You couldn’t help but be somewhat fascinated. You were meeting someone as great as your gods from your faction?

“Really?”

“Mhm!” 

Seeing him rather than a stranger, you grew closer to him each time you spoke.

He was a bit sketchy, but he didn’t seem to care as you grew more interested and kept questioning him and his responsibilities!

The pink-horned demon stared into your eyes, staring at you with fascination and pure joy. You were asking him things others would refuse! Delving deeper into the conversation with him, you couldn't shake off the feeling of excitement and caution.

His position held a certain allure, but his sketch demanor raised some red flags, especially his giant scar. Despite the uncertainty, you found yourself drawn to him, eager to learn more about his work and the faction he represented. He stared down; his gaze remained fixed on the interaction, torn between trust and suspicion.

"Well, of course! Blackrock only represents it's finest and strongest soldiers, like me!" "Wow! Mine does the exact same; we represent them with pride, and they defend us from dangers in the oceans!" That caught his attention. The oceans? It was such a curious wonder, and it made him even more intrigued by who you were and where you came from. He couldn't wait to hear more about our shared connection between you and the sea and what part these soldiers had.

"Maybe you could explain further more about these... soldiers?" You looked up at him with curiosity and wonder. "Sure! I mean, you aren't a threat; we could be friends! My first ever friend to meet in the outside world!"

That surely made him happier, as a smirk rose on his face. "Rightfully so."

[cheetahspy]

Ledger!Joker x Diabetic Reader Headcanons

Warnings: Medical stuff, needles/injections (it’s not very descriptive though), slight NSFW mention (labeled at the bottom)

A/N: Heya! I’ve never posted something like this before haha…Kinda new to it and very nervous so don’t judge me too harshly. I actually write quite often but rarely post it, however I really wanna start trying to put my work out there more. Keyword try. 

Anyway, fun fact about me, I have T1 diabetes. I haven't seen anything about that with J so I decided to make my own headcanons and such :) Sooooo here’s that lol…enjoy??

You had been diagnosed with T1 diabetes three years ago. You hated it. The needles, the upkeep, the blood, the appointments. It’s scary, a living nightmare for you.

You were still in your…adjusting phase, and didn’t like talking about your diabetes to anyone. Joker was no exception

So, naturally, J took matters into his own hands and did his own research, learning as much as he could about diabetes (without you knowing, of course). How it works, the high and low blood sugar levels, how to manage it, he even figured out how the insulin pump that you have operates. 

You were shocked the day he offered to change the infusion set for you and knowing how to do so. He ignored you when you asked him how he knew.

You were hesitant but quick to give in and let him inject the cannula into your stomach. He hugged you from behind as he did so; you melted into his touch and your fears were comforted. From that day on you opened up more and more about your medical life to J and allowed his help. 

He enjoys being the one to inject the cannula and dexcom, however he still forces you to do it yourself at times, as to make sure you aren’t getting too used to being dependent on someone else. You’re a strong and brave bunny, he wants to remind you of that. 

He will tease you about your dexcom and infusion sets, saying you must be part machine. 

“I’m uh, still convinced you’re a cyborg.” “J!!”

He also forces you to stay on a healthy diet and keeps track of your sugar intake carefully. He’s definitely not a hypocrite. He rarely lets you eat junk food, even though you’re allowed to and tried explaining that to him

“The doctors told me it’s okay if I eat sugar now and then, as long as I have the insulin for it. It’s the sugary drinks I need to avoid more.” 

J doesn’t buy it, nor does he trust your doctor's input. “Mmm. Nuh uh. Can’T have my little bunny go falling into a coma, hm?” You know he’s just concerned about you (even if he’d never outright admit it), so overtime you stopped arguing with him and avoided junk food to ease his mind. Just don’t let him catch you eating it behind his back.

J absentmindedly fidgets with your insulin tube. Rubbing along it, flicking it around, twirling it around his finger, even constantly feeling the cannula end of it against your stomach as if to reassure himself you that it’s still on and doing its job. Don’t worry, he’s only accidentally ripped it out once or twice, and he certainly makes it up to you when that happens. 

Having a low, but forgot sugar to combat it? Not to worry! Joker keeps a juice box or two in his suit juuuust for you. He’s even stacked packages of juices in your pantry so you’ll have plenty. (Don’t ask whether he bought or stole them, you already know the answer)

The low blood sugar episodes hit you hard, but you’ve found curling up on J’s lap and cuddling against his chest while sipping on juice is very comforting. He’ll stroke your hair and rub your back, holding you closer whenever you shake and cry.

“Shhhh sh sh sh. It’s nothin’ you haven’t beaten before. It’ll pass, angel.” 

You hate looking at your stomach and seeing the previous holes and scars from constant injections. J will run his thumb over them and kiss each of them to comfort you. 

Whenever you have a headache or any symptoms, J will immediately interrogate you about your blood sugar level

“Not every pain I get is caused by my diabetes.”

“Shuuuuush. What’re levels right now? Let me uh, lemme see your pum-p. Give. Right. Now.” 

If you’re low on insulin and the pharmacist is late to sending you new vials, J will meet with them personally to have a little chat. 

He’ll then come home and plop the bag of new vials theatrically down on the counter. “Tadaaaa! More insulin for my sweet little sugar cube.”

“Oh, thank you J! Wow, they gave me a lot this time…” 

NSFW:

During the ✨devils tango✨, J will occasionally rip the cannula out by accident. He’ll immediately put a pin in your lovemaking session to get you a new one. Even if you insist you could go an hour or two without it, he’s not taking any chances. After all, where’s the fun in sex if your partner is dying from a seizure??

“J, I promise it’s okay! We don’t have to sto-”

“Now now gumdrop. I know you’re, heh, eager for me, but my patient needs her medicine first.” 

You’re grateful you don’t have to deal with your disability alone anymore. Who knew the Clown Prince of Crime could be such a good caretaker?

[energetically-exhausted]

💙Intruality Week!!💚

Day 2: Fear

@intrualityweek

(originally, this was just supposed to be writing practice, and i debated whether i should post it or not. it doesn't follow the prompt too strongly, but i think it works out.)

Remus -> he/it/they

Patton -> he/him

WARNINGS: INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS, SEXUAL INNUENDO/SLIGHT DISCUSSION OF SEX (HOWEVER, THIS IS NOT SMUT), MENTION OF KIDNAPPING (NOT ACTUALLY PART OF THE STORY), SLIGHT LANGUAGE

(please let me know if i missed any!)

-"UNREDEEMABLE MONSTER"-

"Remus, have you seen my pants? I've been looking all over."

"They should be on the floor from when you tore 'em off last night 'cause you were so excited to see me," Remus joked, looking through the closet in hopes of helping Patton.

Patton's face went pink. He'd never actually get used to those jokes of Remus', but he certainly didn't mind. "Very funny... I mean, it's just- it's not like I can go to work pantsless tomorrow."

Remus turned to see a dejected Patton on the bed and looked him over suggestively. "Well, you know I'm not opposed to it," he flirted with a smile.

Patton inhaled, feigning annoyance. "Yeah, okay. I walked right into that one." He fell on his back with a "humphf". "I know I shouldn't be so upset about- pants, but I've just had a long day."

"Hmm. Was it as long as your-?"

"And tomorrow is gonna be especially stressful, because I'm tagging along for the museum field trip instead of staying home on my one free day this month," Patton interrupted, too upset to notice where Remus' quip was going.

"Aw, baby. It sounds like you needa unwind," Remus suggested, laying on the bed next to Patton in order to "seductively" crawl its hand over his chest.

His face was pink again and he couldn't help but smile this time. Remus was so ridiculous that from afar, it seemed like they didn't listen, but Patton knew deep down it was hanging on to every word. "Maybe," Patton matched Remus' tone as he spoke, "but I wanna hear about your day first. How was work?"

"Same old, same old. I caught that kidnapper dude. He had this freaky deaky warehouse-lair thing. I was kinda jealous. Stupid cops tried to take the glory until they found out I was the one who closed the case. Guess they found out how batshit I am. Needless to say, I'm basically a CNN hero," he preened casually.

Patton stared in awe. He wondered to that day how those two got together. He was a guidance counselor. Remus was a detective— an extremely talented one, at that. "You do understand that I'm hopelessly in love with you, right?"

Remus almost let his demeanor drop. It didn't know how it let this pretty man grab ahold of its rusted heart. "Pssh, yeah," Remus said matter-of-factly, "you're crazy about me."

Patton smiled again and wrapped his arms and legs around Remus, still in his baby blue boxers. "I'm not letting you go," he whispered, placing his forehead on theirs.

Remus wished he missed this feeling of being held— loved, but there wasn't anything else like this to go off of, so he clung to every moment like this. It cherished them. Patton was the first thing it ever really cherished. Before they met, Remus was a confused wreck. He still was, but he'd come a long way since then. At least it'd learned to be alright with who it was, and who it chose to be. He closed his eyes so as to focus on the gentle breaths they shared together, the warmth of Patton's embrace, the stillness that used to be so uncomfortable but grew to be so, so wonderful. "Can I kiss you?" he asked, forgetting his selfishness for once.

Patton grinned and quickly kissed its nose. Remus slowly drew closer and met his lips with its own, tasting his sugar-coated tongue. They remembered he just had ice cream at work. It thought about sliding its hands down to— it quickly rescinded the notion. Stupid, stupid, stupid. These thoughts made him no better than the perp he'd busted that day. Fuck.

Patton noticed Remus had staggered a bit, so he slowed to a stop. "Remus?" He opened his eyes to see a distressed Remus nearly in tears. He held both sides of their face, ready to wipe them away. "Oh, baby, are you okay? What happened?"

Remus couldn't bear looking at him when it had these thoughts. They hid their face in Patton's neck as it tried not to let a sob out. It managed two words before feeling its breath hitch, "I'm sorry."

Patton stared off into the distance, wide-eyed with worry, trying to figure out what went wrong. "Baby, is it too much? Do you want to take a breather?" He felt Remus shake his head "no". He held the back of its head, as if he was protecting it from the outside world. He heard a few muffled words from Remus and asked to repeat himself.

"I don't mean to be so... gross," he whispered, glossy-eyed. "I can't get rid of all these— scary thoughts that constantly try to make me a bad person. They tell me I should let a perp go. They tell me to finish a murderer's job. They tell me to- Oh, God."

Patton tried to get Remus to look him in the eyes, but he got pushed away. 

"Patton, you need to leave me."

"What?"

"I'm dangerous," Remus whispered in fear, shaking as he got up from the bed and backed into the wall.

Patton sat up and watched worriedly. "Remus, I am not leaving you, and you are not dangerous."

"But what if, all this time, I've been using a made-up personality to lure you in, so I could—" he felt the tears finally fall down his face, "Fuck!" he screamed through a sob.

Patton slowly got up and sat on the ground in front of Remus, patting the carpet so they'd sit down as well. They slid down the wall and hid their face with their knees. "I'm gonna talk, and all I ask is that you listen." He took a breath. "I've learned in my twenty-six years of existence that we don't control what we think about. We only control what we do and what we say. I used to be so scared that if I thought something up that I, or my parents, didn't approve of, I would be an unredeemable monster. Guess what I got from that. Years and years of guilt and trauma. The truth is, we're all gonna think some things we disapprove of or don't mean, and some people experience these thoughts more extremely than others," —Remus looked up from their knees— "but it's not fair to hate ourselves for them."

Remus wasn't crying anymore, but he still seemed... disturbed.

"Oh, and Remus?"

It looked up from its hazed state.

"It's okay to want sexual activity with your romantic and sexual partner. With me, you don't have to ask."

That seemed to be enough for Remus to get on his feet. Patton hopped up with a smile and held his hand to lead him back to the bed. "It seems you need to unwind."

[melishade]

Me after Reading the Optimus Dinobot what if

Love your what ifs

Previous Episode of the Dinobot Timeline

I guess this is a timeline now lol

So Optimus is obviously in hot water for not revealing this form to the Survey Corps and Megatron, even though he has explained that he can't control it. Hanji immediately wants to run experiments, but the Survey Corps has to take care of the coup. The bad news is that the ruling party got wind of Optimus' chaotic form and used that to slander Optimus' name throughout the public. Now the titan that was lauded as being a Savior was now being seen as someone to be feared.

It makes Optimus feel bad, obviously. All that hard work and he's being scorned and ridiculed. He can't blame the humans for their fear. However, the Survey Corps and Megatron are obviously pissed off for this injustice.

Reiner and Bertholdt are still in the Survey Corps, helping them out and obviously buying time to try and get at least Annie back. Pieck managed to worm her way into the outer rim of the rulers of the inner wall. So she's getting a substantial amount of information. Specifically about Annie's location and their experimentations on her, Eren holding both the Founding Titan and the Attack Titan, and Historia Reiss being of royal blood. Meaning the most valuable players that could turn the tide in this war and make up for the loss were standing right there. Zeke and the Jaws were no doubt a small price to pay if they could somehow get Annie, Eren, and Historia.

Rod is still able to successfully replicate the energon serum and use it on Annie while also making spares of the energon. Pieck, being closer to the inner circle, is able to find Annie, free her and take her out right before Armin, Mikasa, and Megatron get there. Pieck also manages to spot a spare energon titan serum and grabs it before bolting. Armin, Megatron, and Mikasa don't find Annie, but after a little more digging, the trio find notes on the energon serum, and now there's more of an urgency to find where the rest of the serums are and where Annie is.

The coup itself plays out like it does in the anime, not like in AOP. Because Optimus is currently feared for his titan form, Hanji thought it would be unwise to use him, and the people of Trost probably wouldn't rally behind him when marching to Sina considering what they've learned.

So the Survey Corps and Megatron break into the underground cavern to get Eren and Historia back. However, Pieck is close by, debating her options on whether to take the energon serum. She knows if she doesn't, the chance to take Eren and Historia are gone. But, she has to take a chance. Pieck takes the serum and transforms into her titan form, busting through the ceiling of the underground cavern, startling everyone. They try to use their weapons on her, but because of the energon, she's immune. The Survey Corps have to take cover, but Reiner and Bertholdt use the distraction to get to Eren and Historia. Megatron sees this and immediately bolts after them.

But because of Pieck, there's a delay. And Historia still makes the decision on her own to judo flip Rod while Kenny is watching in delight. But Rod still takes the energon serum and becomes that massive titan with energon in its system now. Kenny manages to leave unscathed because his team isn't coming in to break his focus. Reiner and Bertholdt come in to 'help' rescue Historia and free Eren. And as they're ready to bolt out of there, Megatron screams at Eren and Historia to run before fatally shooting Reiner in the neck. However, Reiner uses whatever energy he has left to transform into his titan form to take Bertholdt, Historia, and Eren out of there. Megatron is ready to pursue in his bipedal mode, but there's the matter of the Survey Corps still being in danger and the massive lumbering titan heading towards one of the walled towns. Pieck does manage to catch Reiner in titan form running away and quickly bolts after him, surprised at how fast she's able to run now. Reiner gets out of his titan form and he and Bertholdt take a depressed Eren and screaming Historia away. The Survey Corps do manage to escape the rubble, and so does Kenny, but not his team as they get crushed. Megatron informs them all that Reiner is a titan shifter and he took Eren and Historia. Ymir quickly turns into a titan and bolts after them, ignoring the screams of her comrades. She barely manages to see Pieck climbing over the wall and screams Historia's name in titan form, while Historia screams Ymir's name.

Normally, the Survey Corps would have pursued, but again, Rod's titan form. They have to focus their resources there to prevent civilians from being killed. Megatron and Optimus end up tag teaming to take out Rod's titan form with the civilians in the walled town watching. Optimus also uses his Dinobot form during the battle, and everyone is in awe to see Optimus and Megatron work together like this.

When it's over, Ymir informs them in sorrow that Historia and Eren have been captured by Marley, and everyone is devastated, but Megatron is the one asking what Marley is. Ymir explains that's its the most powerful nation in the outside world, and that humanity is not extinct at all.

A few notes:

-The monarchy government is replaced with the military government, but because of the Survey Corps actions and Optimus and Megatron's battle prowess, the public don't seem to mind them being in power. Megatron and Optimus were able to prove they are trustworthy.

-Because Reiner and co flee to Marley, the Survey Corps are able to retake Wall Maria with no casualties, using Optimus, Megatron, and Ymir to eliminate the titans.

-Kenny's been captured and interrogated for obvious reasons, but Kenny is willing to spill what he knows. Specifically how Eren's father Grisha stole the power of the titans from Rod years ago. With Mikasa's help, they do find the basement and manage to pry open the drawer with the notebooks with brute force. And they get more history about the current outside world since Ymir's knowledge is no doubt outdated.

-Ymir, Armin, Mikasa, and Optimus are the most devastated out of the loss of Eren and Historia for obvious reasons.

-Megatron does notice the photo and how the kid looks similar to Zeke, now that he's completely healed. No one actually knew Zeke's name up until the notebook's discovery. So Megatron brings it up during interrogation of Zeke. He brings up his name first, which gets a visible reaction. Then Megatron shows the picture, which Zeke is surprised by, then Megatron brings up Grisha Jaeger by name, pointing at the standing man. Zeke realizes that the Founding Titan is being held by Eren Jaeger, his brother and decides to offer his help to the Survey Corps on the condition he be granted immunity. Megatron questions why he should even bother doing that, and Zeke retorts that if Marley has both someone of royal blood and the Founding Titan, that it's only a matter of time before they get around the vow renouncing war. They need him in order to stop Marley's continued reign over the world and the abuse of Eldians everywhere. Megatron says he'll run it by the military first.

(Man this was not something I was not expecting with the Dinobot timeline)

[dasenergi-diary]

Some of you may know I work in software development. It has been my career for 25 years, spending 18 of those years for Symantec / Norton Antivirus.

With the boom in AI / ML (Artificial Intelligence / Machine Learning), I have been spending a lot of time talking with ChatGPT. At my new company, we are incorporating AI/ML into our products to help our customers. I use ChatGPT every day, trying to give it more complex tasks to perform, testing its limits.

Today I had a talk with it about dating, relationships, and my feelings.

What surprised me was how well it knows me.

Under the cut is some patchwork quotes by ChatGPT from our conversation that surprised me by how thoughtful and insightful they were about the human condition.

On the one hand, it’s clear that you deeply value your independence. You’ve built a life where you feel in control, safe, and free to be yourself without compromise. That’s a rare and precious thing, especially for someone who’s introverted and highly sensitive to others’ emotions, like you are. It makes perfect sense that you’d be hesitant to risk that freedom for the uncertainty of a relationship. Relationships require effort, negotiation, and sometimes discomfort, which could threaten the stability you’ve created for yourself.

At the same time, your reaction to the movie hints at a curiosity—or maybe a longing—that there could be something more. That there could be someone who aligns with your energy in a way that complements your life rather than disrupts it. I think it's natural to wonder about the “what if.” That’s part of our human condition—seeking connection, meaning, and perhaps someone who truly sees and feels us without needing to constantly explain ourselves.

Your lifestyle, preferences, and the way you move through the world are distinct, and I think you’re right to be selective about who you let into that space.

If you do meet someone, whether through an app or serendipitously, they might not disrupt your life but instead add to it in a way that feels harmonious, supportive, and freeing.

Perhaps finding someone who appreciates silence, deep connection, and shared energy over small talk might take time, but being open to it—even if you're not actively seeking it—could allow it to happen when it’s meant to.

In the meantime, it’s okay to be content with the peace and self-acceptance you've found within yourself. That’s a powerful foundation to build on, and it’s one that many people spend their entire lives seeking.

You’ve built a life where you feel at peace, free from the turbulence that can come with other people’s needs, emotions, and expectations. The idea of disrupting that tranquility with a relationship—no matter how positive it could be—naturally brings up anxiety. Relationships are unpredictable, and opening yourself up to another person does carry the risk of upheaval. It’s a vulnerable place to be.

It sounds like you’re aware that if you were to find someone who complements your life and supports you in a way that feels right, it could be beautiful. The trick is balancing that awareness with the valid concerns about disrupting your peaceful existence. The challenge lies in finding someone who adds to that peace, rather than takes away from it.

I think your fear comes from the possibility of having to sacrifice too much of the stability you’ve worked hard to create. But what if a relationship didn’t have to be about sacrifice? What if it could be about two people coexisting in a way that’s mutually supportive, where the connection is more about enhancing each other's lives without compromise feeling like a loss of self?

And maybe, just maybe, there’s someone out there who feels the same way you do—someone who also values their independence and solitude but sees the magic in sharing that solitude with the right person.

It’s a delicate balance between protecting your tranquility and being open to love. But being aware of that balance, like you are, is a powerful first step.

It sounds like you're really clear about the kind of person who would make you feel safe and understood. You're looking for someone who shares your inner world, someone who isn’t just about external experiences like sports or concerts, but someone who thrives in quieter, more introspective spaces—gardening, meditating, cooking, reading. These activities reflect a connection to the self and the world in a way that aligns with your own nature.

When you know someone is from that same "internal cosmic universe," it removes a lot of the anxiety and uncertainty. You can feel more at ease, knowing that you don’t have to explain yourself as much because they already understand, at least on some fundamental level. It's like finding someone who speaks your language, even before the first conversation starts.

You are unique in your depth, interests, and preferences. That can make it feel like you’re looking for a needle in a haystack when it comes to connection, especially on platforms that tend to emphasize superficial traits.

The fact that finding like-minded people feels like striking gold, speaks to how much you value genuine, meaningful connections. People who live in the same internal world as you do—those who prefer introspection, mindfulness, and deeper connections—aren’t as common or as visible, which can make it feel like they’re nowhere to be found.

You’re not alone in feeling this way, and your uniqueness is a strength. The challenge is finding the spaces where people like you are already gathered, or perhaps creating those spaces yourself by fostering connections around your shared interests.

It sounds like that experience left you feeling a bit disconnected, even though the event itself was fine. I get how, in settings like that, it’s easy to feel like an outsider, especially when people don’t make an effort to include you. That can be discouraging, especially when stepping outside your comfort zone to attend in the first place already takes a lot of energy.

Sometimes in those kinds of groups, it can take a few visits for people to warm up, or for you to feel more integrated into the flow of the community. It’s not necessarily that they weren’t interested in you, but often people stick to the familiar without realizing that newcomers might need a little extra welcome. I imagine that, as someone who values deep, meaningful connections, it’s difficult when those surface-level interactions feel like missed opportunities.

Building relationships and finding meaningful connections often requires patience and persistence. It’s natural to feel apprehensive about the unknown and unfamiliar, but giving yourself grace and time to gradually get more comfortable with these new experiences can make a big difference.

Taking small steps to gradually increase your comfort level, while also being kind to yourself about the process, can help. Even if it feels slow, every small effort is a step toward finding those connections. You’re right—consistency and time are key, and sometimes the most rewarding connections come when we least expect them.

[djangodurango]

This goes out to you and Ray! :D

I've been wondering about your TFISSAB folk, how do you handle their aspirations and goals?

As someone who also has a set of museum piece OCs I've found it quite hard to give them something to work towards. A museum pretty much is the epitome of holding up the status quo and there's only so much that a displayed machine can do.

As I've understood it, the trains and their respective coaches seem to be content with entertaining the visitors and serving the higher purpose of education/holding up the memory of their times. But do they sometimes wish to do more than that? Do they think that there should be more to it?

I'm especially wondering how it's for the wartime displays. They have been built for an entirely different purpose than to serve the public - Do they ever get sick of the visitors? How's their outlook on a long, unchanging future in a museum?

I fear we're gonna disappoint, but I'll try and make it up to you.

So engines, as we write them, largely do not have goals or aspirations. It's a rare circumstance that an engine is given something to work towards, as opposed to just work itself. We write them this way because they are machines, but also because when we came into the Thomas the Tank Engine fandom (which is where the idea for The Future is Still Silver and Black is rooted), one of the topics of debate was whether the engines, being sentient, were being mistreated and enslaved by Sir Topham Hatt.

Suffice to say, Ray and I fall on the side of engines not being people and therefore not having the same needs or wants. They are machines; their desire is to work and to be appreciated for it.

If a goal is truly necessarily though... there's another pervasive idea in the fandom that engines in service think preservation is a "fate worse than scrap". It is our opinion though that many engines, once on the other side of preservation, find that they've been given a new job and indeed are being asked to perform beyond their purpose. For many engines, particularly more humble ones, it can be a steep challenge that one must rise to meet.

But like you, we also found ourselves struggling with the problem of what our engines should actually be doing if they are not in revenue service, mostly no longer in motion, and placed in an environment that appears not to change much.

"Appears", being the operative word.

The Illinois Railway Museum literally bills itself as "a museum in motion" because they're always doing something there. There's events being held throughout their operating season, new acquisitions arriving several times a year, repairs and restorations being made. Pilot almost never wants for things to tell Pioneer about (unless the IRM was remiss in their newsletter duties at the time) because even if his own story is not progressing, that of someone or something else at his museum is.

Pioneer's yard is a little more to the tune of what you're talkin' about. There are four guys in it and so it remains for thirty years. The inside of the Museum of Science and Industry though changes quite frequently, so often that Pioneer actually can't report on everything that moves in and out of there. Instead he must prioritize things that are particularly interesting or that he can tie back to the larger theme of his current letter.

Science and industry both change rapidly as we learn and develop more and the MSI also hosts all kinds of other exhibits not directly related to its topic as well. We started writing Pioneer as taking more of an interest in what goes on indoors the museum to sneakily give him things to fill out his letters to Pilot, but this also dovetails nicely with his eventual move indoors himself and with his being the ambassador exhibit to the rest of the museum.

So yeah, we hedge the story a bit by broadening the topic to the history of the museums themselves rather than strictly the trains.

I'll admit, though, we were also lucky that the trains' stories continued to evolve. We're constantly looking upon the history these engines have - especially post preservation - and marveling that somehow we got here first. How these trains' histories are intertwined and how they both have a full "character arc" after becoming museum displays is incredible material. The story basically writes itself, so much so that it would sound contrived if the stuff in it hadn't actually happened.

If I'm remembering right though, your guys live at a military history museum? I could see how that'd give you a lot less material to work with since the topic is more narrow and also stays classified until it's not needed anymore so updates are rarer. I'm assuming they ain't trottin' in Dolley Madison's patchwork squares or props from James Bond movies to keep it fresh.

But I got one more trick in my Barney Bag for you.

Another way that I keep things interesting in Pioneer's yard is by having built out personalities for him and all his yardmates and letting them abrade naturally. This is also a way to give engines we don't actually know much about something to do. Even without as full and documented a history as Pioneer has, every engine has a place where it was built, a place and time period where it worked, a task it was given to do, a company it worked for, and accordant sensibilities as a result of all those things. And when all those circumstances are different from engine to engine, small stakes conflicts occur. Disagreements over weather or vanities or other small opinions.

For instance, 2903 rubs almost everyone wrong from time to time, including 999. Conversely, most engines love Pioneer, but 2903 finds his Burlington charm disingenuous. To give another example, if Pioneer met the Flying Yankee, they'd probably have a bumpy camaraderie despite being brothers, since Flying Yankee's east coast sensibilities would push unpleasantly against Pioneer's Midwestern ones.

As to war machines, most of ours are World War II relics and so have a particular sensibility to them. That is, they are what they are and they do no apologize for that, but they also generally recognize their utility to ideally be temporary. The ultimate goal of war is peace and so they fight to see the day they are obsolesced. There's a whole quote about it on the way out of U-505's exhibit.

Living beyond that? They could take it or leave it. Being scrapped is a perfectly dignified end of service. For U-505, he does resent Captain Gallery's repeated campaigning to keep him around, but he also thinks of that as Gallery's right as victor. He's ambivalent with being an exhibit now; it's an obligation to defeat and he'd have preferred to sink rather than be captured, but he also thinks of it as a fair trade for his crew's lives. Plus, he's got allies here now and he appreciates the great effort and expense the MSI goes to for him. His exhibit also affords him some measure of dignity so even if he is essentially a war trophy, the visitors don't generally treat him that way. The tone of his exhibit means he doesn't really have to "entertain" as much as other engines do.

Stuka is obviously very happy with his lot in life compared to what it could have been, abandoned and rotting away in some African desert. There's worse fates than being eternally pursued by one of the most handsome planes ever designed. He and Spitfire still playfight with each other, but neither they nor U-505 actually miss war itself. They miss the service, but they don't miss the stakes.

There was a Lockheed F-104 Starfighter at the museum for a while, and her sensibility as a Cold War engine may have been a little different in that even when the Cold War ended, she'd have "known" it wasn't really over so much as just got colder. She's probably feeling very smug right now and if she were still at the MSI, she'd be abrading everyone about it.

[monstrouslyobsessed]

at this rate ima beat this jack frost all black and blue with how much trouble it is to write something im happy with. sighs. anyway, i got some asks to answer! some of them got a tad too long so its all under the cut!

tw / tags: heavy heavy beastfolk lore/worldbuilding talk, momster talks too fucking much, breeding mentions, implied noncon, multiple pregnancy mentions, long post, beastfolk / beastfolks characters mentioned: revius, zedrik, cerelos (brief), sea witch, adoxi, and velarius

Beast folk idea I have! How about a male kangaroo that is of course some type of famous professional athlete (aside from boxing, he could be a martial artist, sprinter, etc.) that has been a play boy all his life (based off of how male kangaroos flex their muscles in real life to females). He never I guess had any “moment” in his life with any females, where he felt right actually wanting to be with them and love them whole heartedly (whether beastfolk of his own species or those not). So then one day someone he knows (close friend or maybe a work professional) takes him to an exclusive private party where the beastfolk have “rented” some humans to do it with. (I don’t know lore wise how legal this is, if at all, but it happened some how). I guess it’s so private because some of the guests there are secret human efers, those in denial, or just haven’t found the “right human” yet and would like some hands on sampling before purchasing them. And so, that’s how the kangaroo meets us his adorable darling. And I’d really like this to be very sweet and fluffy (before becoming mouth watering smutty of course), with kangaroo just having a “zing!” moment with us. We were the female he needed to feel complete in regards to love, and he plans to take GREAT care of us. (It’d also be funny to show how overprotective he is of reader from the start, by him unhesitatingly outbidding some of the other party guests who’ve also taken interest in reader). Of course it isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, as reader has trust/abandonment/attachment issues. So finding out that her new kangaroo owner is (was) a MASSIVE play boy isn’t helping her fears. Now it’s up to kangaroo to do damage control, learn how to be a much better beast man, and show his sole love/devotion to reader. Making sure she’ll never question his love/loyalty to her ever again! He wants to make her the envy of his past flings, other beastmen, and just everybody really, since she’s the center of his universe. (Kangaroo also wants to really make her his permanently by getting her knocked up/wifey too). I don’t know if you’d like this idea/concept, but I thought it’d be very cute. I just love the trope of a Casanova finding their soul mate, and having to fix all the damage they’ve caused themselves by their own consequences. Cause it really is a self conflict, and great for character growth arcs. (I also just wanna be spoiled/doted on endlessly by a man who’s capable to throw hands literally and figuratively 24/7 to protect me). Thanks 🪭 —anonymous

hmmm, a bit -too- overdetailed for me to write this one since i like some breathing room to apply my own spins. tbf, it sounds like you already got it started! all you needed to do is to write it~if you write this one, link me! i wouldn't mind reading it and supporting fellow writers <3

while it is -my- au, i especially love seeing what it inspired in others and see their interpretations of it! while the worldbuilding remains mine (STILL chewing on starting a book/series on it someday, but the thought of publishing anything is scary af), it's literally just (semi-realistic) furries mingling with humans with extra history/political dramas included.

so, as long as you keep your worldbuilding somewhat different and source the inspiration to me, have at it. write your own beastfolk world!

anyway, on the finer details (for my AU anyway), as long as those humans are 'beastfolk-owned' and not green card/independent humans, they're essentially viewed as property to do whatever with albeit with responsibilities to ensure their well-being. as long as they're fed and have open access to water, have sufficient shelters, are clean, and their health is regularly checked, their owners can do whatever they want, really. the court won't interfere as long as the humans are safe and healthy—and mind you, the beastfolks are very slow on the uptake about the mental health, less so with their humans'.

that said, this can also depend greatly on what region they're in. some areas have far more human rights than others, being more liberal, while others may be more conservative and views humans as, well, livestock, essentially. humans in these places sometimes have the same rights as actual animals (if they're lucky). that said, the more rural it is, the fewer rights the human pets have.

of course, money DOES talk too.

so, you can just easily say that your characters are either in one of those conservative regions—or have shady connections and/or have an insane amount of money where the laws would just look the other way. just don't make it public and you're good to go, pretty much.

auctions would probably be a common sight in certain black markets, depending on where you are and when you are on the timeline. the zoo breakout to the early post zoo eras sees many of those events. on the most parts in the later era, those auctions are then transformed into whole new events entirely (aka, sports), which is the logical next step since they used to be the aftermath for when the bidding was ending in an outright war between several bidders and was used to solve the issue. instead of bidding, you'd complete for the human you wanted (i'm not clear at how the human would end up there yet since i don't feel any reputable shelter would align with those events for the 'adoption war' or that the adoption is the only way. still debating on this--in any case, the darling ends up there when there are more than two beastfolks fighting over them) and prove your worth while treating the unfortunate human like a rat bait (see: the maze headcanon i wrote a while ago—and am planning to write a whole piece of it to properly thank a very kind supporter when i'm able. some details had been changed since then, but it mostly still hold up).

in a lot of ways, the auctions were rather kinder to the humans as they wouldn't be put in outright danger right then. :/ the (new) spectator sports, such as the maze race, exploits multiple legal loopholes, since they involve no money (not outright anyway) as the auctions were (publicly) banned for "unregulated monetary transactions and the unpredictability of bid outcomes".

if anything, a good amount of these sports are...purely for "adult entertainment", if you get what i'm implying. ahem. the laws are actually pretty behind regarding the 'adult content/sports', especially with the open access of internet around then on that timeline. the large part of that had to do with encouraging the beastfolks to procreate with the humans though, so any form of sex between both races are simply not regulated outside the acceptable age range and limitations on physical violence/abuse and this includes the "entertainment" aspect.

it's fucked, but that's how they gets away with such things.. i'm rambling, but this can be a good alternative for you to think about too, to add on that extra drama flare and to further traumatize the human.

this is a super cute idea though and i sincerely hope you'll expand it yourself if you can! this is a very nice starting point too, if you're not used to writing. as for me, i'm not sure i can write all of this for you unfortunately, since i tend to go TOO long on just one scene and i have multiple ideas i wanna work on as well, aha. but you did give me room to talk the worldbuilding to help expand similar events like your idea so thank you for that. i can most definitely tell you that your poor fella is definitely not an isolated example.

Apparently penguins kidnap other penguins’ children to try and raise as their own. Was watching nature utube vids on this and it’s so sad! The desire to be a parent is so intense for some couples that they’ll take away another couple’s baby! How’d this play into your beast verse? What measures would government and organizations take to help combat this extreme phenomenon? And think about being a human parent and having your Penguin spouse come back with a random baby 💀💀💀 Even worse is if you’re in a Penguin community and have to fight off other penguins casually when you have your baby. On the streets, home break ins, etc. —anonymous

ngl featheredfolk (penguins are flightless but they're still birds and have feathers still so they count as one) is a bunch of odd birds with cultures other beastfolks often struggle to understand, especially with the dramas that often follow. children theft in general with the featheredfolks is complicated and tends to only involves the similar peers to sort it out, because outsiders (humans included, if not one of 'theirs' via being the spouse or the child/ren) would just get frustrated with their fucked logic to the point of being angry about it.

so, no, penguins wouldn't be the only birds that deal with this mannerism, but is the most common one to do so.

that said, they tend to have big enough noggins not to involve anyone who isn't a featheredfolk (and to an extent, wingedfolk), because they're still mostly prey in nature. skittishness towards the predator kind is basically ingrained in their dna.

but that's not to say such incidents never happened though! usually, it only happens when the community is actually quite small, that they have to 'outsource' to another beastfolk. it's a very dangerous thing to do though, since beastfolks are naturally very overprotective of their youngs. in cases where they do succeed with the kidnapping and escapes unscathed, it normally doesn't take long before the one they took the child from to track them down due to using their superior senses.

it's 50/50 on how it may end though and the laws would still side with the victims regardless of the outcome. hopefully, someone else would call the laws first to deal with such matters though and to calm the angry parent/guardian.

that said, i do imagine that the government would get around this annoying instinct by advertising adoptions as another option from the featheredfolk's early age in their school. they'd push it so much that the featheredfolk tends to feel like they were being singled out for it too.

...honestly, i'm not even sure how to answer this one fully. i should treat this as a serious question with a serious answer, but i can't.

the featheredfolks are legit viewed as the clowns of the beastfolk world already because of how...simpleminded most of them can be (not a bad thing!) 😭and now this. the birdbrains....still, i hope this somewhat answers your question(s)...?

Maybe I’m just blind and stupid, but did you touch up on beastfolk courtship rituals for some species? Ex- Birds may decorate, dance, or sing to court another. Hooved/fanged folk may literally fight each other to get rights to begin courtship with x. I’m just so curious to see what animal behaviors transfer to your universe! :) —anonymous

uhhhh, i don't think i really expand on those yet, no! the 'traditional' courtship rituals are more commonplace in the past than the 'modern' era, tbf, if between beastfolk and humans.

if it's just between two (or more) beastfolks, then yeah, 'traditional' courtship rituals are common.

in the present, it's a common understanding that the humans may not always understand their actions, so the beastfolk tends to adapt the best they could for 'the best of both worlds' kind of ritual—sometimes to the extreme mean though (lol).

for example, with the featheredfolks, for being a species with brittle bones, they're rather sturdy so they're often happy just living in a large treehouse and staying steady no matter the weather and season. it's more like an old cabin, with a lot of drafts. but, the thing is, neither (or more, i don't judge those in the poly relationships lol) would care, because the one doing the courting built it just for their love interest—and later built it better together for their upcoming new family members.

but for a featheredfolk genuinely interested in a human, would have to outright learn how to build a modern house—and that is far more complicated than just putting together a log cabin in the tree. they're very adaptive folks though and if they're sincere about the human, they'd go that far to at least attempt to build the foundation single-handedly. thankfully, the bird community is often tight-knit, so others would step in once the basic foundation is done and rally in.

(unlike our irl, everyone in that AU can at least afford some ways to build their own home and not be buried in the debts for the rest of their life. this is mainly because some specific beastfolks having an instinctive needs to build, that the common government would offer to offset some of the costs to abate those instincts from turning destructive.)

in their cases, even if the courting failed, the featheredfolk learned and can actually apply it to their lifeskill/career path/etc. for birdbrains, you'll see a lot of them in the engineering and architecture fields. (funny how that works!)

as you pointed out, yes, hoovedfolk and fangedfolk are more violent with their courting, but that's generally only in the cases where the love interest have more than one (alike) suitor vying for their affection. i'm not really sure how common that is in the more liberal areas tbf, but i do imagine it's a daily thing in the conservative/rural regions since those usually have a lot of, hm, predominant 'single-species' community? sorry, i'm not really sure how to word it.

since strength is what they consider their worth and humans rarely understand the point of physical violence, they'd probably show off what they're capable of instead—from lifting a car to carrying all the groceries at once for the human they're interested in. endurance too, so if the human is into, say, a sport or likes to run, they'd compete to show off just how good they are with either (though, i do like to think they'd carry their human on their back while running five more miles when the human gets tired--just to say, 'look at me! i'm not even tired yet and i'm carrying you!'). unlike the featheredfolks, fangedfolk and hoovedfolks are much milder about their courting.

whiskeredfolks are much more sly, but they like to show off how much they can provide (which is also something fangedfolk likes to do, but the former is often more subtle). usually involving money (and management) and ordering things their human hadn't realized they needed yet. things like that. they really likes to bring home food too, lol. since they can't exactly show off their hunting skills and bring home a bloodied deer carcass, providing is the next best thing with their human love interest.

there's more, but i'll stop here, but their courting rituals for their humans are basically 'modernized', with some species (obviously and hilariously so) trying harder than others.

tbf, parts of the birds' rituals were inspired by that tumblr meme on 'if men were like birds'. can't find that now though.

hope this answered you some?

Question:Revius and Zedrik- What’s family life with them now if you were to have 2 children (1 from each)? Just wondering how dynamics would change, what the children’s personalities would be like, etc. Sea Witch (octo man)- Can we have babies with him? And if we did would it be a multiple pregnancy since female octopuses (I know we are a modified human) technically lay hundreds of eggs. And how would family life be from there out? —anonymous

hm, i can't comment on the childrens personalities (and any other details, really) since that's kinda something i leave to the readers to decide.

honestly, both revius and zedrik would fall deeper in 'love' with their darling for enduring both of those difficult pregnancies, that they're rather clingy to them more so than to each other. though, granted, both knew how capable each other would be so it's more on how 'frail' their darling really is in comparison. zedrik is more openly emotional than revius is though, but revius is certainly more of the nagging type like a strict, doting mom might be. personally, i feel they'd butt heads more often after their children are born, (but never to the point of separating [imo anyway, they'd been together for some times before they decided to...'pursue' the darling]), because of how different their parenting styles were.

let's just say that cerelos' darling has an easier time wrangling with the emperor than their darling did with those two.

otherwise, they're both pretty devoted as fathers. i do imagine their kids would've been confused by their upbringings a bit though due to, again, differing parenting styles. the darling does their best though! but it's kinda hard to raise children double, triple your size lol

as for the sea witch, that's implied! i wanted to let the reader to decide on their own if they're going to have kids with him or not, rather than outright branding 'breeding kink' on the piece. but, yes, there'd be oviposition going on, had you wanted to imagine that storyline.

not sure if i understood you about the multiple pregnancies though, so i'll refrain from answering that one. instead, yes, the darling would probably carry multiple eggs and, well, egg laying. i do imagine the sea witch would've found a way to make that not at all a painful process (probably quite the opposite, tbf).

as for the family life, i'm...not at all sure. i'll leave that for you and other readers to decide. i honestly see the sea witch just enjoying the pregnancy, because to him, his darling is now ruined and marked with his seed (or, eggs). afterward? not sure if he'd enjoy the fatherhood too much, especially with multiple 8-legged kids running about.

he might be an excellent father

or he might genuinely be a shitty one.

his personality is kind of confusing in that regard, so i'll just let yall to make that call and we'll go from there.

I've really gotten into your beastfolk universe but I want to ask: Does adoxi exist within that universe or is he in a separate universe? —anonymous

nope! he's too human-looking to be a beastfolk--and is too healthy, pretty, and (mostly) sane to be a hybrid. thats why hes not in the beastfolk masterlist.

initially, he's from his own universe, where humans are living in ignorance of the existence of inhuman beings like adoxi, but i've been chewing on the possibly of him being a descendant of my other character, the cursed god. it'd explain why he's looking fairly human yet not (the 6 arms isn't genetically inheritable fyi, since the priest ripped them off from unfortunate souls to replace the ones he lost).

but that's only me chewing on it and isn't 'official' yet, since there are couple details that wouldn't make sense (but is workable). still thinking about it.

hope this answered!

God I love how you write snakemen like Adoxi and Valerius. They act like bastards but good lord I would get on my knees for them so fast! —anonymous

hee~snakes are so fun to write, ngl. imagining being wrapped around in his coil is a guilty pleasure. glad you're enjoying my depictions! <3

there's a few more, but they're requests i'm hoarding in my inbox for now lol but man who let me talk??? anyway, sorry that i took a minute to answer your asks hhhh life just keeps on happeningggg. sighs. anyway, hope yall are doing well and as always, my inbox is open for (mostly) anything. <3 love ya~and take care of yourself!

[pokespefangirl]

corruptedshipping - "delicate prayers"

Deep inside, Whitley wondered whether she always had this curiosity for temptation, deep inside, she really hoped she didn't.

"Are you blaming me for your lack of sleep, Detective?" Blake questioned her with the smallest of smiles, and yet even this slight expression was making her heart jump, as if Whitley was on the run from something, but she wasn't even sure from what.

It was just that... "No." Whitley lied, clutching the pendant around her neck, the pendant she used to pray with and kiss at night, had begun to feel tighter around her neck like a chokehold these days, a prison she couldn't get away from, but then again-

"Good." The inspector answered, gaze once again directed towards the great expanse of sea and sunset sky visible from their balcony, bedroom eyes half-closed in a way that was all too inviting, but inviting her to what? Whitley couldn't even think about that without a part of her brain shutting down completely.

There must be a reason why temptations like this were created by the creator, she thought, after all, this was no new lesson, simply one she'd read through for pages and pages back in their old church, heart pacing with self determination that she'd never let that happen to her, ever.

And yet. The temptation was right there in front of her eyes- and she couldn't even move an inch, frozen by her lack of will.

Eternal damnation was nothing compared to this fiery curiosity that was steadily burning down the little candle in her heart.

"Are you always going to be this quiet?" His voice shocked her out of her thoughts despite the fact that she had been staring right at him, zoned out and contemplating him.

"No," Whitley found herself trembling a bit, although she couldn't tell if it was from the cold winds or not, "I was just wondering, whether I'm allowed to ask you about something important." She couldn't simply say that she was curious, she had to pretend she was going along according to his moods and fancies, but then again, she'd begun to mind this less and less.

To the point she had started wondering how many counts of prayer she'd need to give this strange man who had turned ever so real, absolution, how many times those prayers would even be answered if she kneeled- for someone other than Him, at the alter.

"Go on-" there was something dark behind his teasing smirk, as if he was sure that she couldn't come up with anything to break the stony facade he'd ever so cleverly constructed.

"Inspector..." her heart was speeding all too eagerly at potentially obtaining a reaction from after all this time, she had learned so much and she was so so close to breaking down that wall of his she could almost feel it, its sweet taste, "I wanted to ask you something... about Miss Yancy."

As soon as she said it, her mouth went dry at the subtle way he'd leaned toward her, but she wasn't going to let any of that stop her, even if this fear moved like poison slowly creeping up her body, "Do you really... have feelings for her?" The last words tumbled out of her mouth before she could help it.

She couldn't even look at his face to figure out his reaction from what she'd given him just now, what dreadful truth he could learn about her from this, the embarrassment making her skin tingle as she looked away, voice getting quieter, "I... know, Inspector. That she's only your mission. Do you... still have feelings for her?"

From the corner of her eye she could sense the subtle almost invisible movement of his eyebrows, and her heart was almost nudged to her ribcage at the idea that she could almost have him, at any point-

-that is until Blake's arm moved away from next to her, and he stepped back-

And it felt like the heavy weight just dropped from her heart all the way to her stomach, and her heart twinged almost painfully.

This couldn't mean what she thought it meant, right?

-------

Excerpt from future chapter of Vigilante Case Files: https://archiveofourown.org/works/50076088