#its a real pretty lady posed real pretty

[bless-my-ankles]

Stereogram Anyone???

[lowkeyremi]

The lust in his eyes was very noticeable by anyone who tried hard enough to see it.

Keigo was not even trying to hide it either. His sexiness was overbearing and you could feel it from across the room.

"He's looking over here again.." Your friend says unaware of the relationship between you and Keigo. You'd tell her, but because of your jobs it's hard to go public. He's a pro-hero and a double agent while you're an underground hero. The media would go crazy if they knew about you two. There would be a mixture of shock, anger, maybe even respect, but the Hero Commission has advised against going public... strongly.

"Really?" You ask and take a sip of whatever your friend has ordered you. Honestly your attention was lost long ago. Keigo has kept your attention all night.

As an underground hero you'd usually avoid huge social gatherings like these but Keigo convinced you to go. Popular heroes like Endeavor, Best Jeanist, and even Mirko were standing around posing, being interviewed, talking to other heroes, etc. Keigo had noticed your discomfort right away, so being as cheeky as he is he texted you to meet him in a secluded area ten minutes after he walked over there.

When you went over to him the blond started complimenting you. He talked about how pretty you look in your dress, he praised you for doing your hair and makeup, and so on. That was about two hours ago...

"Yeah, I think he wants to fuck you because if those aren't bedroom eyes then I don't know what is." She squeals and wiggles her brows at you.

A real smile invaded your face for maybe the 3rd time tonight. You were being uptight because of the Commission's words. Even though this is a private event, you didn't want to risk it. Keigo clearly didn't care (not surprising at all) because he was openly flirting with you.

You were pulled out of your thoughts by a tap on your shoulder. "May I have a dance with you, beautiful?" Some hero you couldn't bother to remember asks you. Several men and women had already asked something similar which you had kindly turned down.

"I'm good than-" A cheeky arm wrapped around your waist and you began to panic.

"What business do you have with my wife?" Keigo questions and you about have a heart attack.

"Hawks?! Wife... oh my- I'm so sorry. I didn't know." The hero scurries off and you glare at your husband.

You couldn't even get a word in because your friend yells in shock and excitement, "you're married?! To Hawks?!" You hold a finger to your lips and your eyes widen. Its no use though because people are already looking at you and Keigo, whispering things you can't hear.

In seconds there's a TV crew in your face.

"Number two pro hero, Hawks has been secretly married. What is it like being his wife?" Some lady with a mic asks.

Some other guy asks, "How long have you two been married?"

If you were overwhelmed before than you're extremely overwhelmed now.

Your friend looks at you a frown on her face as she tries to apologize for bringing attention over to you two.

Keigo scoops you up bridal style, and flies out of an open window, "Adios, paparazzi~" he says.

When you two get far enough away he lands and sets you down, "darling... i'm so sorry. I just had enough, you were hit on like eight times and it made my stomach drop." He says softly.

You glare at him, "that's no excuse Keigo! I am your wife. Which means I married you, which means I'm not going to be swayed by some random hero asking me out! Do you have any trust in me?!" You shout at him, anger seeping through your tone.

"It's not you baby, its me.. I fear you'll find someone better suited for you..." his voice is small as he speaks.

"Keigo Takami. How long have we been together for?" you ask sternly.

His golden eyes meet yours, "three years."

"Not married, how long have we been together in general?" you ask clearing up your question.

"Oh.. forever." He says with a weak smile.

"Exactly, which means I have no reason to leave you!" A sigh escapes your lips.

You gesture for him to come closer, he does. You cup his face and kiss him softly.

You can tell he wants more from the way he squeezes your hips but you pull back with a lazy smirk.

"You are going to get a fucking earful from the Commission." you say with a dry chuckle.

He pales at your statement.

"Oh shit... they're gonna skin me alive..." he groans.

"Should have thought about that before basically telling all of Japan I'm yours." You say with a shrug.

He scoops you up bridal style again and flies you two home.

"It was totally worth it though." He smirks.

You roll your eyes at him, your husband is something else.

[tozettastone]

Re: my Naruto OC [x, x]

Here she is, in an unedited version of how she learns to hate Uchiha Itachi

----------

She had no name. The illusory shape she was currently inhabiting was a man called "Ryouta," who was a missing-nin of middling skill. He was tall enough and symmetrical enough to look sort of attractive if he cleaned up, but average enough to drop off the radar for most people. He was a kenjutsu master, which would pose an issue for her if she was required to actually engage in combat as him... but since her entire repertoire of skills was built up around the central pillar of avoiding combat, she felt that was pretty unlikely.

The real Ryouta was also off living his own life some hundred and ten miles away, deep in Wind Country, where his negotiations with clients formed data points for her research. His image was simply on... temporary loan.

Here and now, this image of Ryouta was following up on her favourite and very long term pet project: the outlier missing-nin, Kakuzu.

She strolled through the market that had popped up on the industrial outskirts of Rain. It was damp—it was always damp—and the place had been set up on a flat, hard-packed area that had gotten absolutely annihilated during the war by what looked like, perhaps, a lava flow? At its edges, aging electrical wires sagged, and hastily patched up buildings loomed, and on the far side the road went straight out to the river and apparently endless rice paddies.

Despite the setting, the little market was cheerful and bright. People called out to Ryouta as she passed through, calling for him to try their deep fried water bugs on sticks, buy their herbs, or marvel at their machine-woven cloth. Two children, under the watchful eye of an older lady selling jars of hot red chillies, were playing with sticks in the mud, stirring the water in their hand-dug hole as if it were a pot of soup.

Rain as a village was... interesting, from Ryouta's perspective. It operated under a system of benign neglect. That the governing body was presided over by an undead missing-nin and his angelic partner was kind of an open secret among the people who'd lived there long enough. And, historically, those two had chosen to address only violent foreign shinobi, two plague outbreaks, a food crisis, and actual invasions. They rarely intervened to regulate or support the population otherwise. Instead, the village had mostly divided itself into small neighbourhoods of ten or twenty families, and those families typically bartered and supported one another.

Such systems, Ryouta knew, only functioned because their communities were small enough that everyone knew everyone else's business: they kept their own informal tallies of what was polite and who owed what assistance to whom. This was also how such small communities managed crime so efficiently... for a value of "crime," that was defined very casually by whether or not most people found something acceptable, and "management," that stood for vigilante justice, of course.

Such societies became more and more alienated from the causes and effects of crime as they grew larger, until you had something like the Grand Court over in Fire Country, where people who barely knew each other committed crimes against one another and were given sanctions that held no relevance to the victims whatsoever. At that point, all crime was basically against the state, not really your neighbours...

It was a fascinating area of study, although it was not her specialty. Her area of study was more elusive, more secretive, and a lot more dangerous.

There was a shinobi walking through this market, and he was the real focus of her attention.

Hidan was an idiot, so she didn't have to try very hard to evade his senses as she tracked him. She just had to be careful she didn't get too close. Occasionally, he stopped to examine something, and then she stopped, too. Simple, right?

Really, her distance was more of a precaution against his personality than it was against his senses. He would never pick her out of a crowd, but he excelled at pointless, aimless violence, so it was possible that he wouldn't need to pick her out of a crowd. Would he act that way in Rain, where Pein and Konan watched over the population with a view to eradicating shinobi threats? Well. Ryouta wouldn't have chanced it... but Hidan rarely shared her risk aversion.

"That's so cool," she said, leaning over some of the ugliest jewellery in the world. Mostly it was insects trapped in amber, fancifully tied up in bright string to form bracelets. "Do you think my girlfriend will like it, Auntie?"

The lady's babble—of course she would, why, any woman would love a juvenile sand scorpion stuck in a fossil!—washed over her. She was paying more attention to Hidan, who'd stopped to buy a bug on a stick.

The shopkeeper gave him a second one for free. From this distance it was hard to say if he knew who Hidan was and was attempting to ward off death with food, or if Hidan was just kind of reaping the rewards of being beautiful in public. Either way, he looked at it, shrugged, and took it too, twirling the stick deftly between his fingers as he moved on. The fried water bug's legs wagged stiffly with its momentum.

"Ah, I think I should check with her before I spend money on it," Ryouta said regretfully. "What if she doesn't like it, and I can't get her something else because I spent all my money?" The stall lady did not, she noticed, hasten to offer a returns policy. "Thanks for your time, Auntie!"

It became harder to follow Hidan innocuously when he passed the edge of the market. There was no longer a crowd in which to immerse herself. Ryouta wasn't sure how they did it exactly, but she knew that she'd be heavily surveilled if she seemed suspicious. She could hide her identity easily, but it was harder to hide a developed chakra system... and someone might show up to chase her off. She'd been chased off once, as Chiriko, and it wasn't lost on her that the real Chiriko (a genin missing-nin from Sand who'd been part of her pay grading study) had died pretty shortly after. She didn't want that.

Luckily, being chased off once gave her plenty information to come back with a work around. She couldn't hide that she was somewhere in Rain—whatever surveillance technique they used was simply too good, or too large, or... she didn't know. But she could cast a broad enough genjutsu to confuse it. For several hours, she could be everywhere in Rain, all at once.

It was still risky, which was why she also paired it with an illusion that layered over her Ryouta mask. She was Ryouta, and over that, she was a relatively wealthy civilian lady she'd copied from the market, and over that, she was wearing a little seal carved into the back of an amulet, a low level genjutsu for hiding skin blemishes.

If someone—Kakuzu, obviously, because it wouldn't be Hidan—managed to sense her genjutsu, she could surrender the amulet, and that distraction would allow her to drop a little illusion over him, a veil so delicate he'd never even see it.

For anyone else, holding onto four separate genjutsu techniques all at once might be a challenge. But Ryouta had been a missing-nin, and, more importantly, a freelance criminologist specialising in missing-nin, for almost thirty years now. She would never attain half her data if she'd been unable to observe and record her subjects. And her subjects hated to be observed.

She'd been the best genjutsu master in Waterfall by the time she was twelve, and she had only improved since leaving that village.

She flicked a senbon at an urn of hot water to cause a little distraction. A child yelped in startled pain as the ceramic broke, and she took the opportunity to lift a cute brooch off a woman's lapel, because why not? And then she became the civilian lady as she passed through a narrow walkway between stalls, just as everyone was distracted by the broken urn.

She emerged from the market a foot shorter and much less threatening, clutching her bag to her side as she went. Her footsteps were quick and her eyes were cast downwards.

Hidan, ahead of her by two hundred paces, did not notice. He was gnawing a deep fried water bug leg, rolling the snath of his giant scythe on one shoulder so the blades twirled dizzily against the black and red cloud design of his Akatsuki cloak, and strolling along as though he hadn't a concern in the world.

A few years ago, she would have thought that he seemed not to notice and that he was playing a long game whose central goal was to drive her paranoid. But time and experience had given her more insight. Hidan really, truly, did not know when he was being followed.

She had, occasionally, seen Kakuzu point out other followers to him—not her, obviously—and usually with an air of faintly murderous exasperation. Hidan never cared. He was... extremely confident in his immortality.

She followed him through the dreary rundown village of Rain, keeping her distance and tracking him mostly by chakra instead of by actually watching him. His eventual stopping point took her, as she expected, directly to Kakuzu. He was an unmistakable character in the grey weather: tall, with powerful shoulders, bare arms shamelessly displaying Waterfall's old prison tattoos, and the most hostile chakra on the planet.

She knew pair would almost certainly end up in a nearby teahouse, because Hidan was a grade-a whiner and he couldn't be stopped by the paltry forces of death.

Ryouta—in her disguise as a civilian whose name she didn't know—gave the missing-nin a wide berth and ducked her head as she walked straight past the pair. If she predicted them well enough, and went into the teahouse before both of them, she would allay most concerns that they might be being followed.

Outside, the pair were having their usual reunion: Kakuzu a murderous little cloud of angry chakra, Hidan a loud, running commentary of his own exploits.

"Oh, here, I got free shrimp," Hidan offered.

"That's not a shrimp," Kakuzu growled.

She couldn't actually see Kakuzu's face as she was moving towards the back of the store, but his tone wasn't very promising.

"They're all just bugs," shrugged Hidan, slouching into his own seat and cramming it into his face instead. "Fried water bug, shrimp. Fried scorpion, shrimp. Fried yabby, shrimp."

Without any indication that this riveting conversation drifting in from outside concerned her, she flagged down the server for a pot of tea and settled inside the teahouse's main room with her notebook and pen, writing down the details of the date and time and location, was well as a little context from her prior observations.

Kakuzu was at least eighty six years old, by the records of his own village (which was once her village, so she came by the information honestly), so there was a lot to contextualise her notes. His career was really what had set her teenaged self on the path to a criminological study of missing-nin.

The thing about missing-nin was that they lived and died by their professional networks. They needed to form trustworthy interpersonal bonds to ensure they kept up to date with vital industry intelligence (gossip), to hear about new jobs, and to ensure they were negotiating their work at a reasonable market price. The stereotype of the lone missing-nin who trusted nobody was based on a real phenomenon, but rarely did it apply to successful missing-nin, where success was measured by longevity and professional achievements.

Missing-nin who lived like aggressive, paranoid hermits actually experienced lower life expectancies and poor mission outcomes, even compared to other missing-nin. She knew because she'd completed several rounds of observation, data collection and analysis to come up with the theory.

Her study had involved tracking and following thirty two missing-nin, careening across the continent at a breakneck pace, over a gruelling five year period. She would have loved to have expanded her cohort but she was, unfortunately, just one researcher doing extremely difficult and dangerous field work, and tracking thirty two people who had been trained to evade pursuit had been a massive outlay of effort on her behalf. Ten of them had been killed in the first year of her study (which was probably lucky for her), and then five had died over the subsequent four years. As far as it went, her social networking theory had held true for basically all of them. Missing-nin like Orochimaru and Momochi Zabuza, who displayed even inconsistently prosocial attitudes towards other missing-nin, were almost always better off over the five year period of her study.

Except Kakuzu.

Kakuzu was a really significant outlier. She'd been watching him for a long, long time.

He was successful, he had lived a long time, and he showed very little prosocial behaviour. A personal professional network had built up around him like the nacre of a pearl, with him the grit at its centre.

She had her theories about that, too. Kakuzu had got to be so old by borrowing time and chakra from others' hearts and becoming virtually indestructible by way of his kinjutsu, and it allowed him to outlive every one of his contemporaries. She had not been studying missing-nin back when he had become one, but the world had been quite different at that time—hidden villages had been only lately established in a much less stable professional landscape. It was possible that different traits had been more valuable in missing-nin at that time, accounting for his ability to establish himself in that era.

Then again, possibly they had valued exactly the same things. Perhaps if you only doggedly killed everyone who got close to you, and worked very hard to become functionally immortal, you would eventually build up a professional reputation regardless of your character.

She didn't know.

She did know that Kakuzu was within the top two per cent of earners across her study (assuming some room for error), and enjoyed a strong professional reputation among missing-nin and bounty collectors while going virtually unnoticed by the big five villages—even by Leaf, whose Shodaime Hokage he had once tried to assassinate. A clerk had simply decided at some point that Kakuzu must have been dead and removed him from their active records, was the working theory.

She tapped her notebook, outwardly preoccupied, as Kakuzu and Hidan finally came into the teashop. They didn't look at her, although they surely knew she was there. If they really wanted to talk about something secret, probably they would just tell her to leave. Akatsuki were in the employ of Rain, after all... technically. They could do that.

It may not have appeared likely to a casual observer, but Hidan was the person with whom Kakuzu was friendliest. His ability to bounce back from drownings, stabbings and decapitations gave him real staying power.

At first she hadn't liked Hidan. She'd been following Kakuzu for thirty years, keeping track of his absolutely absurd shinobi career, and initially Hidan had represented an intrusion into the private lifestyle she shared with Kakuzu. But he was not obstructive, and once she realised Kakuzu quite liked him, she'd come around on him a bit.

It was selfish of her, she later decided, to resent Kakuzu's young man. Besides, Kakuzu didn't know he was sharing his life with her—perhaps he was lonely.

They were a delight to watch from her quiet corner of the teahouse, really. Kakuzu acted so cold, leaning against the back wall, sipping hot water and grunting a disinterested counterpoint to Hidan's wild gestures and loud commentary. But she felt he was unusually tolerant and engaged, comparatively.

The pair appeared to be waiting for another pair of missing-nin. That was interesting, and lent further credence to the idea that the Akatsuki were centrally organised in Rain. Perhaps they even were Rain? She wasn't sure about the mysterious undead leader, but Konan would have fit right in with the rest of them...

Her observations really went pear shaped when the other two missing-nin walked into the tea house. Hoshigaki Kisame she was pretty familiar with, and he wasn't the problem. It was the other guy.

Uchiha Itachi swept the cloth covering the doorway out of the way with one hand, ducked into the teahouse, and immediately looked straight at her in her corner.

The worst part was, it wasn't as if he actually broke her genjutsu. There was no flaw in it, no place to apply pressure. Her genjutsu was good. Itachi just saw straight through all the visual elements of it with his unholy burning eyes.

He paused in the doorway and said, "I think you are not meant to be here," and then she looked him full in the face and fainted.

--

"What's your name?" said Uchiha Itachi, the moment she regained consciousness.

She recognised Kakuzu immediately, looking fierce over his shoulder. Hidan next, then Kisame. Really, Uchiha Itachi took her the longest to put a name to, of all of them. He had not been on her radar at all—as missing-nin, the Uchiha bloodline had seemed, unfortunately, too dangerous to include in her studies. And then he'd gone and killed them all anyway, which had seemed to make it a bit of a moot point in a representative sample...

She swallowed. He was waiting for an answer.

Who was she today? Where was she? She blinked rapidly. Teahouse. Sprawled on the table. Lying on her back, surrounded by looming missing-nin. Tea cooling on her belly, not yet cold. No sounds from the staff. Memory rose like bubbles in water.

"Ryouta," she said, finally.

Someone grabbed her by the hair—her REAL hair!—and shook her. "That's not a girl's name."

"Don't touch my fucking hair," she snarled, wrenching her head around. It was Hidan's hand buried in her glossy red curls. Of course it was Hidan. She snapped her teeth at his offending hand, close enough that he yanked his fingers back.

Itachi looked at Hidan, and for just a moment he seemed unable to hide his expression of profound disdain. That was interesting, she thought. Itachi clearly thought he was better than Hidan. Fair enough. So did she. But she would bet Hidan didn't agree with that assessment. She wondered if he knew?

He probably did know. Hidan was oblivious to his surroundings but he had strong interpersonal skills. He picked up on nuances in Kakuzu's behaviour that honestly shocked her.

She glanced between the two, thoughts racing, and then settled her gaze on Itachi. He was the most dangerous to her. She needed to pay attention to him, to be compliant with him, to flatter his ego.

"I haven't had a name in decades."

"I don't recognise her," Kakuzu interjected. She wished this was an opportunity to interview him. What he must remember! But it pretty clearly wasn't the time. "We'll get nothing for her head."

"Waterfall isn't shy about posting bounties. She must not be very important. A small fry, huh...?" Kisame mused. "Well, everyone likes to make a reputation somehow." This idea seemed to amuse him greatly. He showed all his sharp teeth when he smiled.

She knew quite a bit about Kisame, as he was another of her study participants. She had watched his missions and negotiations several times, following quietly in his wake of his large-scale destruction.

But Kakuzu's eyes had narrowed. "No. I didn't sense your genjutsu." He looked towards Kisame, who also shook his head.

If Kisame had sensed her genjutsu she would have had to quit her job. He had so much chakra she could have walked by his side, right in step, and hidden herself beneath its friendly shadow. He would never have known she was there.

Except, well, of course he would have, because now he was travelling with Uchiha Itachi, apparently.

Itachi had taken her amulet, the one inscribed with a vanity seal to hide skin blemishes. He peered at it for a few seconds, and then he looked up at her face again. The sharingan really were demonic to look at, black pinwheels spinning lazily against a red so bright it seemed to glow. The sky probably turned that colour at dawn on the apocalypse.

"I doubt she's a small fry," he said. He had one of those deep voices, the kind that didn't so much 'say,' as 'intone.' Each sentence a gonglike proclamation. Ugh. "What's in this?" He waved her notebook.

She clicked her tongue. "Notes. For my research."

"People who are lying—even shinobi—tend to have certain tells. Humans are naturally afraid of being caught telling falsehoods. Their sweat changes. Their pulse beats faster. They blink more rapidly. They change their rate of eye contact. My eyes can capture all these things. But you..." He tapped the notebook against his palm. "...do not have those tells."

"I'm telling the truth."

"Were you telling the truth when you said your name was Ryouta?"

She shrugged. "A truth."

Hidan scoffed loudly.

"What's the key?" Itachi looked down at her. "You can tell me, or we will discover it on our own eventually."

They would. It wasn't a very hard code. Her notes weren't really that secret. She published her work eventually. She just didn't want to get caught writing them, so she coded them, and then they could have been anything. Mission report. Love notes. Who knew?

With a deep sigh, she told him.

He thumbed through the book. At his level, it really only took him a few minutes to piece together whole sentences. Slowly, his expression changed from confusion to understanding to confusion again. This book wasn't especially important. It had only a few notes about the really big outliers from her most recent five year study, and the tally of negotiations at the back. She always tallied negotiations she saw—because every two years, she produced a record of mission prices for missing-nin, copied them by hand and pamphleteered in dive bars across the continent. Industry research was to be shared, after all.

"You observe a great many missing-nin," Itachi said slowly. He flipped back. Paused. "...A great many. A greater number than I would expect."

He handed her notebook off to Kakuzu, who buried his face in it immediately.

"Everyone needs a hobby..?"

Kisame snorted. "Some hobby."

"This might be the most boring thing I've ever heard," Hidan said, in a worrying tone of mounting dissatisfaction.

"She's been watching you, too, fool," said Kakuzu. That was kind of unfair: she only paid attention to Hidan because he was attached at the hip to Kakuzu. Otherwise, Hidan was another dime-a-dozen missing-nin, distinguished only by his little immortality trick. You got ninja like that, sometimes—incredible combatants who were really one trick ponies, but won all the time anyway because it was one hell of a trick.

"What!" Hidan yelped. "Show me."

"...What makes you think Orochimaru is pretending to be the Yondaime Kazekage?" Itachi asked then, distracting her.

"Ah... Well, he was part of the five year study. I'm just following up on outliers right now. He definitely killed Rasa, but I'm honestly not sure why he's pretending to be him. I theorise he's enjoying bonding moments with the Kazekage's children while wearing their dad's skin."

The bonding moments were genuinely pretty wholesome. That was part of the joyous cruelty of it, probably: Orochimaru didn't mind playing the long game, and he just loved to get a reaction.

"The five year study," Itachi repeated.

"I haven't published it yet. My recent work has been tracking the correlation between prosocial behaviour in missing-nin and professional success and longevity across five years. Orochimaru in particular has proven... erratic."

Kisame, who had stood back to loom behind Itachi, gave a rusty laugh. "Erratic, huh."

Kakuzu, though, had gotten to the back of the book—where her notes on pricing were.

"You," he snarled. He jabbed a finger towards her. "You write the cost list."

His chakra leeched like poison into the air, flooding them all with killing intent.

I am in danger, she thought, with every last squealing cell in her body.

"Ohh," said Kisame. "That."

"Who cares about that," said Hidan, scowling furiously. "She wrote that I'm an idiot!"

She probably wasn't going get a better opening than that. She flexed her own chakra.

"It's not like I'm alone in that opinion. Uchiha Itachi has been looking at you like you're an idiot for the last ten minutes."

Hidan sneered. "Nice try."

"She's right," intoned Itachi's deep voice.

His head snapped up. "What did you say?"

"That's a scary face," Itachi's voice mused. His red eyes spun faster. "Do you think you can beat me with just your skills, Hidan?"

Of course, Itachi himself actually did none of these things. But Hidan obviously did know what Itachi thought of him, after all, because he believed them totally.

Thank god.

She manufactured a sniffing noise from Kakuzu, which was as close as she'd ever heard him get to actually laughing. Hidan, she knew, valued Kakuzu's regard, and he was as close to having it as anyone ever had been. If she was right, thinking that Itachi had insulted him and Kakuzu was amused by it was going to hit all of Hidan's berserk buttons.

She was right.

Hidan lunged—and not at her, but at Itachi.

Which meant that the only person who was a real threat to her genjutsu skills was suddenly very occupied. Phew!

The room exploded into noise as everyone reacted to Hidan's sudden attack.

She pulled layer upon layer of illusions over herself as she rolled off the table, and then she hugged one of the walls, camouflaged like a chameleon, and darted away.

Getting out of Rain was her first priority. Then, she'd fix whatever Hidan had done to her hair—her scalp was still sore where he'd yanked on it, ugh. And then she guessed she'd write down what she remembered of her notes.

It certainly wasn't worth going back for them.

[pinazee]

Rob-a-bye Baby

Finally some focus on Chief Vick! Kirsten nelson did a great job on the first real ep where she gets to play a more substantial role. (“Head detective my ass” always makes me chuckle) i only wish it had been more. She was more of an obstacle than part of the plot, though i guess technically her character kind of grew at the end. She does admit she was overreacting with Shawn but this realization was done off screen. I’d have loved to see her try to run over her husband, and having a little breakdown. Something that gave her more depth. I want to know who she is as a person. Was she a runner who wanted to get back into it so she can finally have some time for herself? Does she struggle with who she wants to be as a mother? Was the baby even planned? Was she concerned it would affect her job, or her ability to do her job? Idk, just something that added a bit more color to her character tapestry. I think theres a lot to explore here is all.

Perhaps im biased, but i feel like Shawns reaction is a bit out of character. Like yeah, he’d find it a boring assignment but i also think he’d understand how important it is to the Chief and take it seriously. Plus, Gus is right, she gives them cases, it’s pretty important for their business that they remain on her good side. And in the end he didn’t help her at all. The nephew just came back and that was the resolution. i think i would’ve preferred if Shawn had been struggling to find them too. Like every nanny he came across he could find something wrong with them because Chief Vick deserves the best. Or he had a nanny picked out all along, she just couldn’t start right away but he somehow needed the excuse to look into the nanny burglary ring? Idk. I guess its not really that big a deal. Perhaps it was to introduce a flaw in Shawns character. Like they were saying he needs the thrills to make the job worthwhile. Which is fine, i think that aligns with his overall character. In fact, i wouldn’t be surprised if he fucked somethings up later just to bump up the challenge for shits and giggles (which is such a weird phrase btw). I just think in this one specific case, he would have handled it with a bit more care.

Gus’s blimp dance! He’s so excited! After the last ep, i just want him to be happy

I just wanted to point out the lady who plays ada was in a movie called Wolfcop. Theres an actual movie called Wolfcop.

Chief Vick’s power pose is so strong, it possesses her when she sleeps haha

Did she just spit her pastry out on the ground??

This always makes me chuckle because, like, why? Why would they have them go down those hill lol

I think this is another case of Juliet getting way too into undercover work. I don’t think thats any of her actual wedding or birth plans even if the show made it look like such.

Im so confused why they were at a pet store instead of a pawn shop. What did that guy sell to him? How did the pet shop guy know it was stolen? Unrelated, but it was a nice touch that Shawn immediately spoke in a way the pet shop guy understood, even if it was just for the haha’s.

Gus’s nickname Schmuel Cohen is a real dude! Why does Shawn have the name of the composer of the Israeli national anthem locked and loaded?? The guy died in 1940. When/ how would he know that???

Awww poor Tim!

Juliet agreeing pivots and divots is fun to say lol

I wish they could have expanded on Nanny Henry! Like he was going to refuse to keep helping out but Chief Vick broke out her mommy voice and also kind of pleaded with him for help. Then we could have gotten some scenes of them, maybe talking about the past, or Henry asking her to look out for Shawn since he doesn’t have the police as part of his squad and therefore no backup, which Chief Vick explains that he’s practically a member anyways and would be treated as such, not only because of who his dad is but because he’s practically one of her own anyways, so of course she has his back.

[confusedbyinterface]

Misericorde and Fiore

Disclaimer: I have a few years of German longsword training but I'm pretty rusty and I'm not that familiar with Fiore. Images and text from fightlikefiore on wordpress and Wikitenauer. I don't think “the nuns use swords” is a spoiler when there's a nun and a sword on the title screen but getting into the characters might be a bit spoilery.

There's a scene in Misericorde at Catherine's wake where the nuns break open sherry barrels with a sword in her honour.

When I saw Adela I thought her stance looked very familiar.

This is from Fior di Battaglia by Fiore dei Liberi, written circa 1404. I'm pretty sure Xeecee used fencing manuals as references for their drawings.

Lets see what each nun's stance might tell us!

Adela: Posta Longa

This is Posta Longa (Long Guard), full of deception. She is feeling the guards of the opponents to decieve them. If she can wound with a thrust, she will do it well. She dodges the blows and can strike back. She can do it more than the other guards who cannot use such deception.

Adela is clearly a skilled swordwoman: she breaks the barrel in one strike. Also, she likes being clever. Look at how she plays chess. She gets mad when Moira beats her just by gaining a material advantage, instead of coming up with a clever strategy. This is very romantic (even if “romantic chess” like tarot readings is a bit anachronistic). Forcing your enemy to break your guard and countering it with a clever, deceptive move is very fitting for her

Katherine: Posta de Donna la Sinistra

This is the Posta di Donna la Sinestra (Lady’s Guard on the Left) and she is always ready to cover and wound. She makes great blows and breaks the thrusts and beats them to the ground. And enters the narrow play due to her skill in traversing. These plays such a guard knows how to do well.

Of course Katherine uses the Lady's Guard. Xeecee draws it very casually, like she's just posing with a sword looking hot, but if you underestimate Katherine you're making a big mistake.

You could make a pretty powerful strike to the neck from this guard.

Moira: Alber

Oh no, Moira doesn't know how to hold a sword, it's too heavy for her, right? Wrong. This is Alber, “The Fool”, which to the untrained looks weak and invites attacks but can easily parry them and strike back.

The equivalent in the Fiore tradition is Posta Tutti Porta di Ferro, the Full Iron Gate Guard. Other German swordmasters call it Eisen Pforte, Iron Gate. That's a much better description of its strength.

If you are beset with four  or six impertinent peasants Place in front whichever foot you want  and with the gate make a barrier And put the point on the ground /  now hear what you should do See to it that they stay  all in front of your face And no one comes behind you  Now hear what you should do Whatever they strike or thrust  against you, weak them with absetzten Strongly upwards from the ground /  so you will put them to shame

This is really interesting! Moira isn't as soft as she looks. She's got hidden depths to her, and real iron inside. It's even possible she's putting up a front, and is just luring you in so she can put you to shame.

Eustace: Posta Coda Longa

‘You are cowardly wretches and of this art you know little. Do the deeds that you can only talk of. Come one by one, if you dare, and if you were a hundred I would ruin you all, this guard is so good and strong.’

Eustace would fucking say this.

Also, the description of her seven strikes, left right left right top top thrust, reminds me of sword training. Like the Meyer Squares and that. Eustace is getting in some good practice!

Darcy: Mordhau / Posta de Donna la Soprano

Here he leads with the murder strike

This sword is used as a sword and an axe. And its great force can stop any attack from a lighter weapon. This guard is also called the Posta di Donna la Soprano (High Lady's Guard) who with her skill can fool the other guards, because you think she will attack you with a strike, but instead she will attack with a thrust. All I have to do is raise my arms above my head and I can then quickly launch a thrust at you.

This looks silly, but Darcy's found the right technique for breaking open wine barrels with a sword. Aside from Adela she's the only one to do it in one strike. It's a lot safer if you have proper gloves or gauntlets though. Darcy can seem goofy but she knows what she's doing.

I'll have to see where the story goes, especially with the possible implication that Moira's hiding something, but it's interesting to think about!

[nkirukaj]

vVv is for Voe (2)

Pairing: StaticBeau & RadioBeau

Warnings: Swearing; Sexual Innuendos

Genre: Humor!

Word Count: 4.3K

<Chapter 1

2. Strut

“And the break room is over there,” Vinny points to the room

Voe rolls her eyes God this is so fucking boring. She glances down at her nails and thinks about how they could seriously use a manicure, tuning Vinny out completely as she mindlessly follows him down the hall. 

“Are you ready to look around the lab downstairs? Or something…?”

Voe takes a moment to answer “Oh were you talking?”

“A-anyway the computer…place is uh- sorry, getting my notes mixed up,” He scrolls through his Vpad

Voe sighs dramatically and taps her foot impatiently, they’re in front of a room door where they can hear giggling coming from inside “What’s in there?” Voe points to it

“Uh, storage…closet,”

“I don’t know any storage that giggles,”

Vinny looks nervous “We should keep going,” he tries to rush her

She crosses her arms “You don’t even know where you’re going,”

“We’re going to the computer room! Just so you know how that works,”

“I know how computers work,”

He sounds exasperated “Would you please just come?”

Voe smirks “Why? What are you gonna do if I don’t?”

“You mean what will I do if you don’t?” Vox appeared behind her out of a nearby camera. She turns and looks up at him “Did we not have a discussion about you listening to me?”

“What’s in that room?”

“Why?”

“Whatever it is, I heard it giggling,”

“It’s a giggle monster,” He turns to Vinny “Take her to the system room, show her around there,”

Voe groans “Why do I have to do this, I’m bored!”

Vox turns back to her “Oh, do you know where everything is?” They stare at each other “That’s not a rhetorical question, do you know where everything is or not?”

She rolls her eyes again “No,”

“Great,” he turns to Vinny once more “Show her to the system room,”

“Yes, sir,”

“Uuuuggghhhh!” she stomps away

Vox enters the room and can be heard asking “What did you need?” before shutting the door behind him.

____________________________________

Voe plops down on her bed and pulls out her Vphone that Vox had given her, she had already set up a Sinstagram, if it was anything like the platform that it was copying, she’d be a Queen at this. She scrolls through her pictures of her in new outfits and trying on new shoes, pressing the button to go LIVE. When she does, she watches the camera, waiting for the viewer count to go up.

who is this?

holy Satan its a deer

why she not saying nothin? And comments like it float by at the bottom of the screen

“Hey,” 

um hi?

who tf r u???

“Y’all don’t know me…yet, but you will,” she chuckles

tryna b all mysterius but who is dis bitch

wtf

devil

Voe smirks and finally introduces herself “I’m Voe, I go by Voe the Beau, because it means ‘beautiful’, and I am,” she poses in front of the camera

must be one of dem new sinners

“I am pretty new, but don’t worry about that, let’s worry about all the questions y’all could be asking me right now to get to know me! So go head, ask mommy!”

Mommy? oh hell nah

she is kinda hot tho 👀

that don’t mean she givin mommy

what she given den? daddy?

idk maybe

“I prefer to be called Mommy by men,”

oooo wat u want women 2 call u?

don’t ask her nuthin!

Voe smirks “Women can call me Daddy,”

HOOOOTTTT

that’s it I’m sold

wats dis? a follow button?

alright maybe she get a chance!

“Yeah that’s right, be good little boys and do what Mommy says,”

damn yes ma’am

“Now, who would be interested in seeing me wearing different clothes?” Many people put hands-up emojis in the comments “Great!” She claps her hands “Then you might want to follow me because I used to get real spicy on my lives when I was alive, especially when I get bored,”

r u gunna get nakey? 😁

“Wait and see…” she puts her finger over her lips, shushing them, and winks “If I do it’ll be for the ladies. I love me some women,”

hooooootttttttttttt

“Currently I’m living at V-Tower, and I was bored as fuck today,”

shit u workin 4 da Vess??

“Specifically Vox, but he’s mad annoying,”

vox?? lucky!!!!

da most famous Overlords

some of ‘em

Nah the most famus

“Oooh, gossip! Who are some other famous Overlords?”

rosie, alastor carmilla carmine

i work for her!

nobody asked tho

zestial

what about zeezi

👎🏽

whats wrong wit her?

she ain’t all that

Yes she is

“Wait, what’s an Overlord anyway?”

😱😱😱😱😱😱😱

the most powerful sinners in Pentagram City

“Oooh, I like power, and the Vees are Overlords?”

most powerful

put some respect on Alastor name 4 he cum 4 u

🖕🏽that guy

HE OWNS MY GIRLFRIEND!

“They can own people?”

u become 1 by owning souls

the vees own millions each way more together

Voe rubs her chin “That’s interesting,”

how you live there and they don’t own ya soul?

She shrugs “I don’t know, they never asked for it. Right now I’m just Vox’s assistant,”

right 👉🏽👌🏽 assistant

She laughs “What does that mean?”

u know what it means

“I just hand him papers and write segments for him,”

seg-ments seg sex

don’t lie lots of ppl fuc Vox

“I don’t fuck him!”

But u want to

“I don’t actually, he’s kind of a pompous little baby,” she raises the pitch of her voice, mockingly “But I don’t know, Velvette’s got it going on,” Voe purrs.

She’s my fave, cuz she owns me.

“I love a Black queen,”

The door to the room she was given opens up. A different-looking assistant came into the room.

“Mr. Vox would like to see you in his office,”

“Really? Right now?” she looks at the demon

She nods “Yes,”

Voe sighs and rolls her eyes, turning the live off and putting her phone back into her pocket. She walks with the assistant out into the hallway, just stopping.

“Are you not gonna show me?”

“Mr. Vox said that since you know everything, you could find it yourself,” Voe raises a brow “I’ll just show you,” and she takes off showing her to the elevator, pressing the button for her. While she descends in the elevator alone, she thinks of all the things that the LIVE told her. Was Vox really that powerful, maybe she should cozy up to him, play into his ego, hop onto the bandwagon, and maybe something else? She wanted that power and she wanted it now. 

She steps out of the elevator and walks the thin walkway up to where Vox is sitting, in front of many large screens, showing the activities of many denizens of Hell. She stops and puts her hands on her hips.

“Yes, Vox?” She breathes out

He turns around in his chair “Saw you were doing a LIVE in your room,” he takes a sip from his mug that says ‘FUCK ALASTOR’ “Come closer,” he beckons her with his index finger “Don’t worry, you’re not in trouble,”

She obeys him and takes a step forward. He’s confused a bit “Come here, come to me, my dear,” she does, stopping when she’s about a foot away from him.

“Yes?”

“I have an idea for you,” he smirks “We’re supposed to get a new shipment of appliances, and Velvette is getting some new clothes,” he pauses, sipping again “We’re sending them to you. You’re gonna advertise them on your LIVEs,”

“I just started doing LIVEs,”

“I know you did,” he grins “You’re gonna do another one later today, and then tomorrow, and then… next Friday you’re gonna be on Vox 2-Nite. We’re gonna meet this Voe the Beau, introduce her to all of Hell,”

She widens her eyes “Really?”

Vox nods “Yeah, really. But maybe you don’t wanna do it. Am I wasting your time?” he starts to turn around in his chair.

Voe yanks him back “Fuck yeah! You’re gonna pay me for making the lives right?”

His grin falls “No, it’s gonna be free labor, why wouldn’t I?!”

“Don’t yell at me Vox,”

“Or what? If you want this, you’re gonna have to be a good girl. Are you a good girl Voe?”

She blushes and looks away “Sometimes,”

He shrugs “Oh, well sometimes isn’t good enough. Maybe I could find someone else to do it,” he turns away in his chair mumbling to himself

Voe sighs “Yes,”

“Hmm?”

“Yes,”

“Yes, what?”

“Yes, Vox,”

“Yes, Vox what?”

She inhales her blush taking over most of her face “Yes Vox, I- I’m a good girl,”

He swivels back around in his chair, his voice distorting “I know you are. Your next LIVE is at 8 sharp. You are going to be doing a makeup tutorial with Velvette’s new ‘Sinful Palette’,” he opens it up for her, then places it in a bag that he hands to her. She takes the bag.

“Is that all?”

“And wear something nice. That’s all,” he smirks at her “Actually Voe” he turns back around and grabs a bag that reads ’Triple 6’ on it “Actually, wear this,” he hands it to her with a huge grin “Can’t wait to watch it,”

She turns to walk away and then turns back “Vox,” she calls

“Hmm?”

“You’re an Overlord, right?”

“That’s correct,”

“Why haven’t you asked for my soul?” 

He crosses his legs “I have bigger plans for you Voe, unless you want me to have your soul,”

She turns back around without answering him, and Vox watches her walk away.

_____________________________

“Just because I want you on camera, doesn’t mean that you don’t still have other work to do,” Vox tells her “I need you to do my dry cleaning, but don’t take it to that other place, I hate that place. Take it to that other other place, you know the one. And I need my lunch, you know my lunch?”

“Since when am I in charge of your lunch?”

“Today,”

She rolls her eyes “What do you want?”

“You know what I want,”

“No, I don’t,”

Vox groans “I don’t have time to explain things to you,”

Voe lets out an exasperated sigh as he throws his suit at her.

She wandered the streets of Hell trying to find the other other dry cleaners, going inside every dry cleaner and asking if Vox sends his assistants in there. They all told her, yes, but some of those bitches were lying. She settled on one that was bigger and newer than the others, it gave her a crisp feeling. She dropped it off and went to take care of lunch.

“If I was Vox, what would I eat? Hmm? Chargers and wires?” She chuckles to herself “Wait, how does he get food in his mouth?” 

When she exited, across the street was a restaurant that’s called ‘vVv Restuarant’ and slapped her forehead. ‘Trust us with your tastebuds’ it read under the sign. Voe was quite unimpressed with the lack of variety on the menu. Vox was a man so he’d probably complain about only having one sandwich, so she bought him two.

Rushing out with the sandwiches and a drink, she was walking pretty quickly, eager to get away from all the heathens causing damage outside. Her heels clicked in a quick rhythm as she made her way through the streets, not fully there in her own head. She thought of her first LIVE as an official influencer and what she would say, she wondered what Vox thought of her and why suddenly he was interested in her talent. Her thoughts were broken by running into something thin and solid.

“Yo, what the fuck?” Was her instinct to say, she rubbed her forehead and opened her eyes looking up. She was greeted by the sight of an extremely tall demon, with a fancy red coat, a cane with a microphone on it, and red hair with black tips, that gathered on top of his head in a similar shape as the ears she had on her head. A large grin took up the majority of his face and his bright red eyes were quite a sight to behold. 

“Oh my, such crude language for such a lovely girl,” he puts his hand out, leaning down. She takes it and he helps her up

“What do you expect, you knocked into me?”

“Well, perhaps you should slow down instead of rushing,”

“Yeah, I got things to do,”

“Then I guess you should be on your merry way,” and moves out of her way

“Right,” she walks past him “Weirdo,” she mumbles and takes off back to V-Tower

She plants the sandwiches in front of Vox 

“Your suit will be ready in two days,” she tells him

“Awe, thank you,” he speaks mockingly and pinches her cheek

Voe pulls away “I got you that for lunch,”

“Aw- wait, two? I only wanted one!”

“How would I know that? You didn’t tell me what you wanted!”

Vox groans “I gave you a clear list of things, did I ask for two fucking sandwiches? NO! I asked for one!”

“You didn’t ask for anything!”

Vox starts pacing “The camera already adds 10 pounds, now it’ll add about 500 pounds!”

Voe scoffs “First off terrible math, and second you don’t have to eat them both now!”

“I can’t deal with you right now, just put them down and get out of my sight!”

“Oh Vox, scared you’re not pretty?” She jokes

He whips around “Get out NOW!” His voice distorting

“Fine, geez,” she throws her hands up and leaves his office, unsure of what the previous interaction meant for her career and advancement. She takes the elevator back up to the ground floor finding Velvette looking around the lobby

“Just the sinner I was looking for! Come here love,” 

Voe walks up to the doll demon, wondering what she needs “Yeah?”

Velvette puts a measuring tape around her waist “I guess we don’t have to take it out. You know you should really wear clothes your size because I thought you were huge,”

Voe blinks “These are the clothes you gave me,”

She waves her off “Mhmm,” and types on her phone before taking Voe’s hand “Come,” She leads Voe to her studio, where there’s an entire rack of clothes set up and ready for Voe to try on. “Try these on,” she flippantly commands her while staring at her phone “Don’t do the live until I know if these fit, I will not be embarrassed,”

“Oh, Vox gave me something to wear,”

Velvette looks up in disgust “What from that horried store Triple 6? They can’t dress themselves, let alone anyone else! Did you see what they had Verosika Mayday wearing on her tour?”

“I don’t know who that is,”

“You’ll wear these that I give you. And you can wear those Triple 6 rags to bed,”

“Fine then. I will tell you that my signature color is pink. It looks great against my complexion,”

“And what a fine complexion you have, you’re welcome,” she winks at the doe

Voe tries on clothes for what seems like hours Velvette occasionally gives her feedback

“Strike a pose. No no, just. What are you doing? Just put your hands on your hips! Damn was that so fucking hard? How about earrings?” She leans into Voe’s face “Your ears aren’t pierced! Well, we’ll get on that. Hmm, maybe a nose ring?”

Voe shakes her head “I don’t know about that,” 

“You have the nose for it!”

Voe raises a brow, Velvette sighs

“Perhaps a bellybutton ring,” She claps “Now!” She goes through the outfits Voe has tried on, and picks one “Wear this on your LIVE. If you’re going to be working here then you need to look your best, always. You’re representing us, and we will not be made a fool of. Understand?”

Voe nods “Yes ma’am,”

“Good,” she hands her the outfit “Here,”

The outfit was a hot pink romper with a cool blue blazer and studded cool blue pumps.

“I certainly hope you can walk in heels,”

“I can,”

“Can you strut?”

Voe smirks “I do it every day,”

“Well do it right now,”

Voe slips on the pumps and shows Velvette her model walk, loading it with all the confidence she’s saved in her back pocket for years.

“A bit shaky, but not bad. Not bad at all,” Velvette glances down at Voe’s ass when she says this and Voe decides to give her a wink back.

_______________________

“Hi guys, it’s Voe the Beau, and I know I did a LIVE earlier, but I’m back and I’m gonna show you how to do my makeup,” Voe takes off her blazer and puts her hair back

cute

brand???

show us the palette!!

“Today I’m using Velvette’s newest palette, ‘Sinful’,”

oh shit

THAT HASNT RELEASED YET!!

LUCKY BITCH

She opens the palette and shows it to the camera “Ooh these are some dark tones, I love that,” she reads the names of the shades “So we have, ‘Blood’, which a deep red ‘Poison’ which is a deep purple and- Oh” Voe sounds grossed out when she reads one. She turns it back to the camera, covering the name of one “Guys, you see this one? This white one? It’s called ‘Val’s Juice’, and it has little sparkles in it,”

 OMG I LOVE SPARKLES

“Same girly pop,”

ur uber hot

“I know!” She smiles “Damn, if this what his juice looks like, what Val be eatin’?”

ME BABY

HE CAN EAT ME!

OMG VAL IS SO SEXY

LOL FUCK HIM FOR ME LMAO

“Oooh here’s one for me, it’s a dark pink. It’s called ‘Love Potion’,”

I AM SO JELLY

nah she too pretty to just be on my phone screen

“Then maybe use your Vpad, if you have one, which you should,”

i want it in blue

yesssss that electric

“Okay so today I’ll be using, ‘Love Potion, ‘Val’s Juice’ and this black one called ‘Abyss’,”

nah she a freak yall can’t see it?

“Me? A freak?” She puts her hand on her chest  jokingly “What gave you that idea?”

not u teasing us

girl please

Voe starts with her foundation, then concealer and powder. She fills in her eyebrows but makes it clear that “That’s an optional step,”

how r u so beautiful???

Voe shrugs “I guess I just died that way,”

shes so pretty

im gunna double die shes so gorgeous

show them thighs off

“My thighs are currently covered, but I’m known as a ‘thicc queen’” she puts it in quotes as she puts the white eyeshadow in the corners of her eyes “So I’ve got ‘Val’s Juice’ in the corners of my eyes,” she says while laughing

lmaooooooooooooooooooo

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

😭😭😭😭😭

BAD AIM I GUESS

Voe laughs along with them and says “Now I’m using ‘Love Potion’,” She spreads the shade onto her eyelid “It’s so pigmented, I love this! You don’t have to go back over and over and layer it! It’s just right on the first go! Okay now I’m using ‘Abyss’ on the edge of my eye” She outlines a wing and fills it in with the shade, blending it on with her lids. “Okay you can never go wrong with some highlight and glitter,” she applies them and turns to the camera “How do I look chat?”

gorgeous 😍

WE NEED TO SEE MORE OF YOU

promise to come back!!

“Okay, chat question. How would I look with a bellybutton ring?”

omg so cuuuute

even cuter with a nose ring

“Ugh, you guys and this nose ring propaganda,”

YOU’D LOOK HOT AND EDGY

“But I’m not edgy,”

what are u then?

“I’m more of a preppy popular girl,” she pouts her plump lips and leans forward

preppy wit a nose ring????

“It’s not really my style but I’d try a belly button ring,” Voe looks at the time and decides to end the LIVE “Okay, that’s all for tonight! Love ya!” she blows the camera a kiss before turning it off. “UGH!” she falls back on her bed. Pretending to be all high energy was exhausting for her. She even raised the pitch of her voice on the LIVEs, it wasn’t all pretend, but this heightened version of herself required way too much energy. The door slid open and Vinny entered

“What Vinny?”

“Mr. Vox wants to see you,”

“Where?”

“In the conference room? Uh, well the Vess would like to see you,”

When Voe reached the conference room, all the Vees and their intimidating presence were fully displayed. They all have straight faces and are eerily quiet until she settles herself into a seat.

“Yes?” she sounds bored

“We saw your LIVE, and I just wanted to issue my congrats,”

They respond with scattered clapping “Outstanding dear,” Velvette compliments her “I had my doubts, but you rocked that romper,”

“Yeah, my juice looks good on you,” Val grins, saliva dripping from his lips

“There’s more isn’t there?” she asked “You didn’t just call me down here to give me praise,”

“We want the LIVEs to be longer, clearly the people love to hear you, so perhaps script them?”

“And you need to start doing videos too, and they have to be at least 3 minutes long,”

They all look at Val to see his input and he’s playing a game on his phone. He looks up “Oh I don’t have anything to say,”

An intern bursts into the room and calls out “Mr. Vox! Mr. Vox!” they sound out of breath and they all turn to them

“We are literally in a MEETING!” Vox slams his fist on the desk

When the intern catches their breath they say “The Radio Demon is on the air,”

Vox stands up hastily “Meeting adjourned!” And runs out of the room

Vel and Val purse their lips in annoyance

“Are you two coming or WHAT?”

They step up to begrudgingly follow him and Voe tags along, wanting to be supported. She runs up next to Velvette 

“The Radio Demon?” she asks the other woman

Vel rolls her eyes “Ugh,”

“What are you saying you fucking asshole?!” Vox asks crouched over a radio

“Vox, calm down before you cause another blackout,”

“What’s got his panties bunched up?”

Val takes a drag of his cigarette “El demonio de la radio”

“Heh?”

Vel scoffs “The Radio Demon,”

“Who is that? Vox’s mortal enemy?”

She groans “I guess you could say that,”

“If you hate him, why are we listening to this?”

“Because he’s trying to find, what is it Vox?”

“An angle!”

“Yes, an angle,” Velvette mocks him

“VINNY COME TAKE NOTES. I’VE GOT YOU NOW ALASTOR! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!”

Voe looks around the room “Does he know that he looks legit crazy right now?”

Velvette shrugs “I don’t know what’s going on through his head in these moments,” 

Voe looks down at the radio “I can’t believe you even own this,” she goes to poke it before her hand is swatted at by Vox

“DON’T TOUCH THAT!” he snarls 

“What the fuck? Is it really that serious?”

Velvette rolls her eyes “You have no idea,”

“But you didn’t hear this from me!” The voice on the radio said, “Aha!”

“Aha!” He mocks “SHUT UP BITCH”

Voe leans forward on the table “Wow Vox, I haven’t known you that long, but this is the lowest point I’ve ever seen you at,”

“Oh trust me, he’s been lower,”

“Oh I am so much better than him, right?” he whips around to the others who nod bored

Voe laughs “Vox you’re constantly acting like the big man in charge, but you come undone for a voice on the radio? What, do you think he’s prettier than you?”

“HE IS NOT!”

“Ugh, I can’t” Velvette walks away scrolling away on her phone

Voe turns to walk away. She cannot see Vox like this and hears the clicking of heels that are not hers. She turns to find Valentino behind her with a huge grin. 

“Amorcita,” he calls her, then bends down to meet the doe at eye level “I’ve heard from Vox that you desire the game that comes from us, yes?”

She blinks “You guys talk about me?”

“Of course hermosa! You’re something special,” he winks

She lets this compliment settle “Go on,”

“You’ll never get what you’re looking for working for Vox…come work for me instead,”

She’s skeptical “Don’t you make porn?”

He takes a drag on his cigarette “I prefer to call them adult films. They’re art,” he chuckles “and you are the perfect asset to enhance my art. A thick brown doe, now that is something people would pay top dollar to see. You could easily be bigger than Angel Dust,”

“Isn’t Angel Dust your pride and joy?”

He shrugs “Don’t worry, he’s just a toy. You would have my full attention,” he grins again 

Voe starts walking and Val follows her. 

“I don’t know about doing porn,”

He grabs her chin “Aww, are you shy? You can’t be with that body,” he bites his lip

“I’m not shy, I just think I could be doing better things. Did you know Vox invited me to be a guest on his show?” She pulls her chin out of his grip. 

Val squints and furrows his brows, letting out a tiny ‘squeak’ as he responds “And then what? You’re on the show and then you’re done. With me, you’ll be a star forever,”

“Do you want my soul?”

“Well, that is the price, yes,”

“Wouldn’t that mean you own me?” Val shrugs “Give me time to think, we may be able to work something out,”

Time to think? She already knew that she would not be participating in his whore activities, but it was good to leave the door open for further business opportunities. She was above pornography, but never above fame.

Chapter 3>

[ro-rogue]

-- some small spoilers up ahead for mha -- it is so interesting to me that uno often gets compared to mha by people who haven't read uno. because when you actually think about it, they really are eerily similar, despite many uno fans denying it.

at first glance: in uno, the main theme is "the government is evil and should be stopped at all costs". in mha, it's "well yeah the government isn't exactly good, but the villains are definitely worse".

and then you dig deeper.

in uno, the authorities are criticized because they do absolutely horrible things to people in the name of keeping the peace. they've lost the plot, gone too far, and what is, in theory, a very logical system (the royals) has devolved into systemic oppression. (i've read a really good commentary on here that explained why the royals are actually kinda necessary in a school like wellston, but i can't find it now, so if you've found it, pls lmk.) violence is constantly criticized. when john went joker, it wasn't glorified, like it would've been in so much of contemporary media. resistance and revolution are definitely advocated for, but violence never is.

(slight spoiler ?) the recent manga chapters of mha reveal a theme that has been pretty central for a while now: criticism of authority figures and their abuse of power. the lov is humanized, their actions are explained, they are clearly their own heroes. it's people like overhaul, like afo, who are really evil: people in positions of power who hurt those below them.

not to mention (SPOILER) hawks losing his wings. i didn't like it when i first read it, but looking back, it was the only possible ending for him. keigo had been used his entire life by the (evil) government because of his quirk, and now he's finally free. they don't have a use for him anymore. him losing his wings, ironically, set him free. (know of another character being used by an evil government because of their power?)

in uno, violence is very clearly posed as a bad thing and people in positions of power hurt those below them. in mha, violence and its glorification (hero society) is frequently criticized and the real villains are those in positions of power who hurt those below them.

also: in mha, lady nagant was a (one of presumably multiple) assassin for the government, cleaning up those who the authorities felt disrupted the current order too much. sounds familiar?

and then you have the protagonists. izuku and john both grew up powerless and then suddenly got one of the strongest powers in their society just before starting highschool, though at first, they weren't very good at using it. they both seem capable of using multiple powers, but technically it's just one really op power. i would like to claim that they both kept a really important secret about that power from their close friends for a while, but izuku told katsuki that he had a borrowed power literally weeks after he'd gotten it, so. props to john though.

there is another fun similarity between them, though. both are introduced as pretty non-violent people (rip pre-joker john, your miserable existence is missed dearly), and both go absolutely feral when their best friend ("best friend") gets hurt.

(it's also fun to mention that both izuku and john are Going Through It in the current arc.)

now, of course, a fundamental differnce between john and izuku is that izuku is fundamentally a good person who cares for people, and john,,, doesn't. it's not that he doesn't care about anyone; he just doesn't care all that much about people he doesn't really know. izuku wants to save everyone. john wants his loved ones to not be hurt. that doesn't mean he wants others to be hurt, but it will take more for him to want to save someone than just seeing them suffering. interestingly enough, it's pre-joker john who was the biggest advocate for cripple equality, while izuku has never been shown to do anything similar for the quirkless. also, izuku never went middle-school-katsuki when he finally got a handle on ofa.

but in the end, these visual-medium stories are remarkably similar and comparing them actually yields significant insights into both of these stories. comparisons should therefore not be avoided, but instead encouraged and expanded upon.

[tragedygroupie]

Miles bron smut please!!💗💗

thank you so much for this because it inspired me to write this and it may be one of my favorite things i’ve ever written

his parliament’s on fire and his hands are up

“are you sure her name isn’t on the list?” my friend asks.

“i’m positive.”

it’s some time late at night, and my friends and i are trying to get into one of new york’s most exclusive clubs. we make a game out of it, the pleading and cajoling almost as fun as the actual clubbing.

“can you check for my name? it’s juli pascal,” my best friend giggles.

“girls if i don’t find your name after this, i’m gonna have to ask you to leave.” the bouncer sighs.

“actually, they’re with me.”

i turn around, confused.

an older man with a hamptons tan and aggressively blonde hair walks over to us. a security detail follows him.

“isn’t that right darling?” he asks me, wrapping an arm around my waist.

i smile at him. two can play at this game.

“this would be my boyfriend. HE should be on the list, isn’t that right honey?” i ask.

the bouncer’s face has gone red, and he’s stammering.

“i’m so sorry mr bron, this won’t happen again-“

i turn to my friends and try to convey my disbelief.

“fucking miles bron?!” juli mouths.

i shrug, scarcely able to process it myself.

as we walk through the door, my friends start thanking him profusely.

“thank you so much mr bron, we really appreciate it-“

he waves his hand.

“its no problem ladies. i used to be like you when i was your age, i always love helping out fellow disrupters.”

juli and i dissolve into a fit of giggles, as the rest of the group laughs as well.

“well we really appreciate it.” i say.

he lets go of my waist, and i almost feel disappointed.

“i hope to see you ladies sometime soon,” he says and we all thank him again.

as he walks off, lulu turns to me.

“what the fuck?”

i shrug.

“stranger things have happened.”

juli shakes her head.

“that may be the strangest thing that’s ever fucking happened.”

********************************************

it’s been an hour and i’m stumbling up to the bar. i’m not really built for clubbing- i hate dancing and i don’t like most men. the most fun part of the night is always trying to get in, and i’m still not entirely over how we did that in the first place.

i sit up at the counter and get on my phone as i wait for the server to come over.

“aren’t you a little young to be drinking?”

i turn around and there he is.

the blonde himself.

“aren’t you a little old to be clubbing?” i shoot back.

he chuckles, putting his hands up in an i surrender pose as he sits down next to me.

“also, i am old enough to drink. in most countries anyway.”

he laughs at that, a full body laugh that makes me wonder if he’s drunk already.

“you’re funny.”

“i do stand up if you’re interested. my best material is on Twitter.”

“i considered buying twitter.” he says thoughtfully as the server comes over.

“i’ll have a rum and coke. you?” he asks.

“the exact same, only no rum please.”

the server bustles off and he looks at me curiously.

“you don’t drink?”

i shake my head.

“i barely drink anything that isn’t coke to begin with.”

we sit quietly for a moment as the server returns with our drinks.

“so do you always do this?” he asks.

“do what?”

“go to clubs that most people can’t get into and try to con your way in?”

i laugh.

“i don’t know if it’s conning. my friends are pretty, they should get in just on hotness alone,” i say as i sip my coke.

“and what about you?”

“i’m gonna be an Oscar winning filmmaker someday. they’re lucky i deign to visit their establishment.”

he laughs.

“what have you directed?”

“nothing yet.”

“i like your confidence.”

we take a swig of our drinks, and i assess him. he’s not a bad looking dude. old enough to be my father, but i’ve skewed towards older men since i was in high school.

“why’d you get us in?” i ask.

“i like your style. you’re disruptive. inbreathiating even.”

i giggle.

“that’s not a real word.”

he goes on like he hasn’t heard me.

“would it be too cheesy if i said it was because you’re pretty?” he asks.

i scoff.

“there are a million models still waiting out there in the cold. i don’t know what you’d see in me that you can’t find in them.”

he shakes his head.

“you’re pretty in a different way. in a… real way.”

why the fuck is this sleazy pick up working?

“a lot of the girls in my world are pretty in a polished way. they’re pretty because they were manufactured to be that way. there’s nothing wrong with that, but you, you’re pretty like a forest fire.”

he grabs my hand as he talks, his eyes never leaving mine.

“you have this chaos and fun and danger to you, and it’s not that cheap thrill shit you get at a theme park. you’re pretty and you’re dangerous in the way a hurricane is.”

my drink is abandoned as i focus entirely on him.

“do you like my kind of pretty?” i ask, feeling like i’m fourteen years old again.

“i wanna drown in it.”

we stare at each other for a moment, and i grab my drink and take a long sip.

“do you dance?” i finally ask.

“yes,” he grins.

“i don’t.”

“well we’ll have to fix that.” he says, grabbing my hand and pulling me out of my chair, back to the dance floor.

when we get to the heart of the crowd i stand there, unsure of how to proceed.

“you really don’t dance?” he asks, surprised.

“hmm, if only i had told you.”

he laughs and i hate how infectious it is, because now i have a small smile on my face.

“well you start by doing this.”

he grabs my hands and puts them on his shoulders.

“and then you just kind of-“ he rocks back and forth to the music.

slowly, i move my body with him.

“you’re getting the hang of it!”

i move closer to him, so close that he’s practically grinding on me while i interlock my hands behind his neck.

we sway to the pulsating music, rocking our bodies in time and part of me wants to close my eyes and rest my head on his shoulder, but that’s a little too cheesy for a potential fuck with a billionaire playboy.

when the song ends, i look up at him and see the hunger in his eyes.

he wants me, and i want him.

if he’s bad in bed at least i’ll get to sleep on sheets with a thread count higher than my tuition.

“do you wanna go back to your place?”

he grins.

“i thought you’d never ask.”

********************************************

his apartment makes me want to shank him.

it reeks of money, new money eclecticism with superfluous furniture and nonsensical art pieces.

it makes me cringe. i have to fuck him.

“so do you wanna-“ he asks as i cut him off with a kiss.

he startles, before seemingly coming alive.

he pushes me against the wall, his hands wandering my body as he kisses me hard. his mouth wanders with his hands, kissing and sucking hickeys onto my neck.

“aren’t we�� a little… old… for hickeys?” i pant as he chuckles into my skin.

“i wont leave any if you don’t want me to.” he says as he bites my neck.

“now when did i say that?” i breathe.

he’s running his hand up my thigh, and when he starts rubbing me through my underwear i start dissolving into incoherence.

“do you want me to touch you?” he asks coyly.

i nod frantically.

“use your words honey.”

“yes fuck you yes just fucking touch me please.” i spit out.

“so impatient,” he observes and i’m about to tell him to fuck off when he slides a finger inside me and i’m rendered dumb.

he starts pumping it in and out of me, his thumb rubbing circles onto my clit and i’m whimpering, melting into his arms as he coos at me like a baby.

“do you like that?” he asks softly.

i nod into the crook of his neck, thankful that i’m spared eye contact.

as he slides another finger inside me and curls i feel my knees start to buckle.

it’s honestly a little pathetic but i haven’t been finger fucked this well in god knows how long.

as he continues to pump his fingers and rub my clit i feel the coil in my stomach threaten to snap.

“can i, can i?” i start babbling.

“of course sweetheart,” he murmurs, his free hand brushing my hair.

i feel myself fall over the edge as he fingers me through my orgasm, and the whole time he holds me close to him.

when he pulls his fingers out i sneak a look at him and he smiles at me.

“do you think you have another left in you?” he asks.

“god yes,” i breathe.

he picks me up bridal style in his arms and carries me to his bedroom, where he gently lays me down.

strong hands pull my dress over my head, methodically undressing me as i try to tug at his shirt.

he crawls over me and holds my face in his hands for a moment.

i hook my thighs around his waist and when he enters me, it burns deliciously from my cunt throughout my body. he stills a little, letting me adjust, before setting a slow but hard pace.

my eyes are rolling back into my head as i grip the sheets, only to feel his hands on my face.

“eyes on me,” he groans.

he starts speeding up when we make eye contact, slamming into me while he reaches down between us to rub my clit with a fervor i didn’t know he had in him.

as i near my orgasm, i babble, desperately trying to ask permission to cum.

“can i please please please” i pant.

“cum for me darling,” he says.

i feel my body shake as i spasm around him.

my cunt clenching around him must trigger his own release, because he’s cumming deep inside me, hot and thick.

when he pulls out, i’m still shaking and i pray he doesn’t notice how my thighs are trembling, i don’t want to add to his ego.

“are you alright?” he asks.

“yeah,” i stutter out.

“you’re shaking,” he observes.

before i can respond he takes me in his arms, hugging me close to him.

exhausted, i rest my head on his chest.

“imma sleep and if you wake up before me, just pretend like i’m dead,” i mutter.

he laughs.

“okay.”

[9w1ft]

heavy on the "posing for something to be seen but the photographers fail" 😭 some of those electric lady pap walks having zero real pictures even though it was clearly a pap walk makes me sad & i think its mostly because of the influx of fans showing up to things like that & the general decline of paparazzi outside of that

taylor can only walk so slowly but yeah sometimes it’s funny 😆 obviously there’s a confirmation bias on my part but like just today, the number of times taylor puts both of her hands up in all these different poses that face the camera only for these to be the best shots of the rings (all pretty grainy) does make me laugh. even if it’s not intentional.

[bnnuy-wabbit]

HAAIIIIII you can call me Lago, im 21 (i dont know how EITHER), im just some guy*. this is my main blog and where i throw funny things that makes my brain produce juices and also random ass personal poasts.

one of those he/shes they never warned you about (pathogenic variant they have yet to make any vaccines to protect you from)

my art tag is #feral art tag.

there will be adult things in this blog because im an adult. follow at your own risk etc. were horny in here towards men occasionaly.

I'm brazilian. From Brazil. As in born here, living here and stuck here for the foreseeable future. é nois 🤙

Everybody says I'm really nice! I am Unable to hit people up first though, but if you'd like to be friends, send me an ask and I'll give you my discord!!!!

i have many interests (mostly music and nerd shit) and funny things that I'll be putting under the read more lest this post get Unbearably Big. There are flashing blinkies down there by the way.

OK SO INTERESTS. I like MANY things! and i have favorite things! I think it's really cool of me to have favorites. i decided I'm going to wear them on my sleeve. anyways Here's some things i Like.

MUSIC!!! its one of my favorite things ever. I play the guitar and a bit of bass. heres stuff in no particular order of favoriteness. Just stuff i care enough right now to remember.

Linkin Park (meteora, hybrid theory <3)

My Chemical Romance

Red Hot Chili Peppers

Mindless Self Indulgence

scalene

Rammstein

Ft-rj (listen to it or i am going to chase you with a broom)

francisco el hombre (i recommend the rasgacabeza album)

danny bond

2000-10s pop!!! fuck it, lady gaga, britney spears, kesha, katy perry, black eyed peas, that sorta jazz.

Every single Homestuck song there is. i have listened to all of them multiple times. My favorite albums are colours and mayhem and also the beforus fan album.

Dad rock (acdc, queen, talking heads, nirvana, judas priest, Some pink floyd etc)

Industrial and Adjacent. I've been listening to code:redcore a lot and some grammostola actaeon lately. processor also fucks.

OTHER THINGS I ENJOY

Eragon (the books)

Disco elysium.

ADVENTURE TIME. I AM OBSESSED.

How to train your dragon (the books. specifically.)

Animated movies!!! Specially the hand drawn ones.

My horrible little OCs (@honsebeasts just go there but also Beware.)

Worldbuilding. I do aliens and monster speculative biology. Most of my thoughts on it are on the Above mentioned blog though.

Real life physiology and anatomy also

MEN (and like 3 fictional women.)

HORSES!!!!!!!!!!!

stranger things

Pokemen (i do not know a single thing after gen 6 though.)

Dungeons and dragons, sometimes

Traditional art like watercolors and oil pastels

Drawing my blorbos in the same side facing pose or just standing there.

Drawing in General actually! Designing characters is my passion

Fictional fathers

sewing and felting and sculpting and painting and singing and playing

COLORS. i love colors. i love looking at them. i love playing with them. i would like to eat them if i could. i love warm palettes.

Hiveswap (pissing screaming CRYING)

MONSTERS!!!!!! They're really cool and gay and hot.

Portal (the games. all of them. glafos........ kissing her)

Half Life.

y2k and 80s-90s vibes. i think its awesome.

I am afflicted by the human condition and also a few other funnier conditions. my brain and my body dont work right.

If you want to know the brunt of the brain ones: autism adhd avpd. they all impact heavily how i interact with people with people. Sorry in advance if i can't keep conversation going.

I'm some sort of queer thing. If we need to get really specific, id say "bisexual aromantic bigender femme", mostly into men and butches, but Queer will do just fine. I'm a self entitled part time pretty fag and ugly dyke in my free hours. Intersex it turns out.

[imnobodyuknow]

"All right, it's time! Here's ImNobodyUKnow to tell you all about his..."

"Er..."

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

"...Seriously?"

*snort* Hmm? What? ...Oh! Oh, yeah. I guess I should do this part myself. So sorry! *AHEM*

So! What sort of antics do you think would take place if the Forger family decided to go on a family "ooting" to the countryside of Asahigaoka, whether for a vacation or a mission disguised as a vacation, and visit the Miyauchi family? I bet I could write volumes on the subject (and given the chance, I probably would), but we'll just focus on one possibility for now -- I can easily imagine Anya getting along well with Renge and her friends, even though they live in very different worlds (very, very different, in fact), but what sort of things would they do together? I don't know about you, but one of the first things that came to my mind was this: Renge and Shiori inducting Anya into their secret organization!

Which secret organization am I referring to, you may wonder?

I hope they don't mind me blabbing about it. 😅 See this video for the (mostly) full context.

So with that idea in mind, allow me to introduce the complete crew with its newest member from Ostania!

As you can see, the grown-ups with them are thrilled to see them proudly representing the forces of good! ...Well, at least the women are. 😏

Shiori and Renge were relatively easy to draw -- as you can see, they're wearing the same outfits and expressions as they are in the screenshot and making the same poses:

Anya might be their newest member, but she's a natural at making the same pose!

She might believe the Cosmos Detectives are a real organization, knowing her. 😄

Since she's never actually made this pose (as far as I know, anyway), I did my best to duplicate it for her, using some official art for her expression (changing her eyes a bit to make her look more assertive) and a figurine picture for her outfit:

I'll be darned if that summer outfit doesn't have some crazy detail. 😳

Meanwhile, Loid's wearing a simple green shirt and a "What are they doing?" sort of expression:

For him, I used a screenshot of his profile and rotated it a bit:

The ladies, on the other hand, are delighted by the girls' enthusiasm.

For Yor's face, I used a screenshot of her profile and one of her smiling.

As you may have noticed, her outfit (or at least what you can see of it), is identical to the one in the second screenshot, but with a more summery-looking headband.

Kazuho's pose, expression, and outfit also came from a screenshot:

Both of the ladies were rotated as well, as you can see. I'm not entirely sure, but I think I might be getting a little better at drawing perspective. I'll let y'all decide that one, I guess. 😊

And finally, the environment is largely based on the one in the screenshot of Shiori and Renge. I definitely could've done the trees in the far background a little better, but that kind of shading is a little tricky to do with colored pencils (and not something you can undo if you mess it up). It was tricky for me, anyway, so I guess that's something I'll want to work on that. (Or at least I could sharpen them a little more next time. 🙄)

But overall, I'm pretty pleased with how this picture came out. I'm not surprised, considering how adorable the characters in it are, plus the idea was a fun one to illustrate. 😊 Again, I'd probably go wild with ideas about these two families meeting one another (or rather, this family and this pseudo-family meeting one another), but I'll save that idea for another time. Besides, a glimpse is better than nothing, right?

And with that, Operation Spy x Family x Non Non Biyori Drawing is complete!

...G'night. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

[cantsayidont]

March 2022. An intermittently amusing but frequently infuriating Ellen Rapoport sitcom, launched on HBO Max and then switched to STARZ for its second season, MINX is set in the early '70s and follows the misadventures of an idealistic white woman named Joyce Pritchard (Ophelia Lovibond), who reluctantly transforms her plan for an intellectual feminist women's magazine into a high-profile adult magazine for women, published by good-natured sleazebag Doug Renetti (Jake Johnson), who sees it as a weird but potentially viable addition to his existing magazine line. Joyce is deeply uncomfortable with Doug's world of nude centerfolds and sex toy ads, but as the magazine takes off, she finds she loves being famous — and enjoys taking advantage of her position of power over attractive, often none-too-bright men. Meanwhile, Doug's long-suffering Black girlfriend cum business manager Tina (Idara Victor) wants more respect; gay photographer/art director Richie (Oscar Montoya) struggles with his aspirations to do something better — and editorial directives not to make a magazine full of naked men seem too gay; and Joyce's married older sister Shelly (Lennon Parham), who resents Joyce for leading a kind of life she never got a chance to experience, has an unexpected affair with former nude model Bambi (Jessica Lowe) that leads to a midlife gay awakening.

Like the earlier G.L.O.W. streaming series (which it strongly resembles in structure and tone), MINX wants to be titillating, but its smug middle-class disapproval of porn and sex work is like a millstone around its neck: It's willing to concede that Doug and Tina, who are strictly on the business side, are pretty savvy, but it stubbornly refuses to entertain the notion that anyone who poses for or performs in porn could harbor any real intellect — the male models are all hunkier versions of Lenny from OF MICE AND MEN, and even Bambi, who's arguably the show's most likable character, is presented as a kind of idiot savant. Moreover, the show walks a weird line of expecting the audience to laugh at Joyce's second-wave feminist priggishness while also presuming that she's ultimately right, morally if not practically, in ways the narrative doesn't really support. The problem with Joyce is not that she's a feminist buzzkill, but that she's an entitled, classist snob who struggles to conceal her obvious contempt for anyone she considers her social or intellectual inferior (and who becomes an increasingly terrible boss as the magazine takes off). However, for the show to really engage with why Joyce is terrible would require the writers to reexamine their own prejudices, which they're obviously unwilling to do.

MINX remains watchable mostly on the strength of its supporting characters — Tina, Richie, Bambi, and Shelly are more interesting and far more appealing than Joyce — but it would be nice if the show were less eager to make them the punchline of the joke. The show also further strains goodwill with the unwelcome addition of the intolerable Elizabeth Perkins as a wealthy widow who becomes the new owner of Doug's publishing empire (an insufferable rich bitch completely indistinguishable from the insufferable rich bitch Perkins played in the second season of the agonizing comedy-mystery THE AFTERPARTY), a character whose narrative function is make the tug-of-war between Joyce and Doug largely irrelevant and to add an additional layer of smug white lady entitlement to a storyline already top-heavy with it.

[purplekoop]

Oh yeah, there's a character I never did post here back when I was originally making the first few "Miri-verse" Splatoon OC designs back in... July, I think?

I had the idea for a "buff n' tuff" lionfish girl. So. I did that.

In retrospect I don't hate it as much as I did then, but there's a few things that still bother me. The pose is kinda dumb but that's not entirely a deal breaker for an initial design sketch. The real reason I didn't do much with her though is more the fact she just... doesn't look like a Splatoon character that much? Not like Mirianna and the others are super canon-compliant, especially in terms of proportions, but they're still similar enough in key features to Splatoon characters to where you can tell they're supposed to be based on that world. That's not really the case here, this is more just a normal buff lady who happens to have lionfish fins instead of hair and some funky eyes. Not like I don't think that's totally irrational for Splatoon, kind of a fun thing about its designs is that there's no hard limits for consistency, especially the more obscure things get in terms of canon reference (Just compare Gnarly Eddy to the nautilus girl from Ink Theory). Still, this just strayed a bit far for my own personal liking.

If you wanna see a lionfish Splatoon OC I do think is pretty cool and feels more like a Splatoon character, then check out Leona from @justanothersquidblog, part of their really cool idol duo Toxic Tunes! (sorry if the ping is annoying but I wanna give a cool shout out where I can)

I also just don't really have any... ideas for this character past the basic design? Is she a smug jerk? Is she nicer than she puts on at first? I don't really know, but nothing really sticks to me as much as with my other designs. I also don't think she'd jive with the main group (y'know, the polycule), so I don't know where she'd "fit" as a character. She also got conceptually replaced by Dredge in terms of beefiness and looking tough, so not much room for there either. I don't really have like, real story ideas or anything for any of these characters, but at least I feel there's room for some.

This year more than ever I've decided to be okay with just making character designs just for the sake of fun and not to be part of a grander project, especially when it lets me explore concepts I can't really use for those other projects (not much of a place for big huggable sea creature ladies in a game that's supposed to only feature robots, but I could prove myself wrong there). Still, feels a little bad, especially when there are characters from this same time period I'm going back to and giving them more attention. I wonder if I should just do like, adoptables or something... eh, when I get a bank account set up I'll consider it.

So yeah, bit of a ramble just for an old design I didn't end up doing much with or even showing here. Almost certainly being a little harsh on myself here but hey, everyone's their own worst critic. Still, figured it'd be neat to share anyways!

[tetsunabouquet]

15 Questions, 15 Mutuals

Thanks for tagging me @vespersposts I invite all of my followers to join! Also, THERE IS NO QUESTION 5

1. Are you named after anyone? Not exactly. Both my parents names actually have a name meaning related to water, and I was also born in a hospital with a beachview, so my mom was adamant about me having another water themed name when she was naming me. Same goes for my middle name, though that isn't actually officially mine as my middle name 'occured' to her when I was like a few months old and in my country, adding an official middle name later on after the child is born costs quite some money.

2. When was the last time you cried? 3 hours ago or something. My vivid imagination was thinking about story ideas, and then I thought of this dramatic one that made me spill a few tears.

3. Do you have kids? No human ones, only furry ones.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? As someone on the spectrum, I struggle with sarcasm so not really.

6. What's your eye color? Hazel, the type that has various colours. Dark brown is my most dominant, but my eyes also contain bits of jade green, amber and steel grey.

7. Scary movies or happy endings? Kind of both? I've been a horror fan since I saw the children's horror comedy, The Little Vampire, at the age of 4 but I also really like seeing people who deserve something good to happen to them find their happy ending.

8. Any special talents? Well, other then the ones related to art, I do have a few good impressions. Mainly Brenna from Toddlers & Tiaras and Lucas Hanni from Eurovision 2019.

9. Where were you born? The Netherlands.

10. What are your hobbies? Reading, creating things, dancing

11. Have you any pets? 4 cats. Mitzie Gaynor Queenie is the eldest, named after the actress Mitzi Gaynor because of Breakfast At Pluto and Queenie because the little lady is a real kitty queen.

Then you have Poosie Kleptomania. She's the inspiration behind the cat in my Midorima drabble, and was named Poosie because of Pose, as this girl is a real charming little lady that would win in any ballroom (at least if you ask me). Her middle name stems from her extreme tendencies of theft.

Bollywood Klaagzang is my youngest girl. She really loved Bollywood movies ever since she was a kitten, and Klaagzang is a Dutch word for 'lamenting' which literally means a song or word spoken with a complaining tone. If there's anyone who's constantly bitching, its Bolly. She's the kind of diva who's literally whining for attention 24/7. She's whining on my lap as I type actually. One hand isn't enough.

Somi Pantherjoy the Shadowcat is the youngest and sole male. He's named after the K-POP idol Somi, because he's a cross between a European short hair and a Siamese cat, and because Somi is Dutch Canadian-Korean, it seemed like a fitting biracial name in a sense? He's a large, athletically build black cat though, hence the 'Pantherjoy the Shadowcat' part.

12. What sports do you play/have played? Aerial hoop. I quit as a beginner though, because of drama with the sport studio. The sport instructors were good, but one I befriended because we were close in age and that ended up in this massive drama between us and whilst they were good at training people, the bussiness itself behind it? A HUGE mess. When I emailed the administration about the drama, how to sort it out, if I could arrange something like be told on notice on which days she'd be in which studio (as they actually had two) to avoid contact with her and go to the one she wouldn't go instead, it pretty much launched into a whole new drama solely based on the fact, this was a company very clearly created by sport instructors of whom none had a background in administration, bussiness, or anything whatsoever and they didn't cared about hiring people who were either. I have plans to move to a different city with a studio that isn't owned by them so I've been thinking of picking it back up once I'm there.

13. How tall are you? My ID says 162 cm according to the measures made at the town's council building but someone measured me for something a year or so after and they said 161 cm, so... (5'3-ish).

14. Favorite subject in school? Economy. I'm good with money, and I'm an accountant studies drop-out actually. My mentor had difficulties with me because of my autism, and thus was pretty much useless. Once I got stuck, I decided to drop out.

15. Dream job? A child's author and toy designer. I dream of creating my own book series and toys based on the books. Perhaps even fashion dolls. I'd like to create an 'adult' version of the series with BJD dolls once I've had an audience who grew up with my stories. I even have some low-key thoughts on a theme park. I pretty much want to be the unproblematic Disney of children's literature. That would be the dream!

[rededgefashion]

𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐣𝐮𝐝𝐠𝐞 𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐃𝐘 𝐒𝐈𝐌𝐏𝐒𝐎𝐍!

My favorite part of the day has arrived and that is time to judge someone and today’s unlucky winner of being judged is Ms. Kennedy Simpson.

We all saw what she put up today and if you didn’t, then fret not because I am here to share them with you!

If you want a peak at his day, you can click here,here and here

For Kennedy's morning post, she unleashed her signature beauty pose, and let’s be real—we’re not surprised she’s a model! Those eyes could stop traffic, and that side profile? I mean, even the Mona Lisa is taking notes! For Kennedy's second post, we’re treated to yet another stunning modeling pose. Yes, yes, we get it, Ken—Barbie is a beach, Barbie is an astronaut, Barbie is… well, everything! But come on, Missy, how about showing us your inner donut enthusiast or dramatic couch potato? We know you're a top-tier model, but you're so much more than just a pretty face with a fabulous wardrobe. Let's see that hidden talent of yours—like modeling while eating pizza! And now, ladies and gentlemen, the moment we've all been waiting for—the pièce de résistance of posts! Kennedy is finally gracing us with her glorious presence, showcasing what normalcy looks like. Just look at her glowing while hanging out with her friends. Beauty in its natural habitat! But hold on a second… what in the name of all that is holy happened to your friend? Are we witnessing a dramatic reenactment of a horror movie? Why is everyone shining their phone lights like they’re directing traffic in a dark alley?! Someone, please, shed some light on this mystery!

And there you have it, folks! That’s a wrap! A massive shoutout to @kennedysimpson for being our superstar guest and not once running for the exit! Until next time, keep your snacks close and your jokes closer!

XOXO!

[exclted]

˚ · . @ulircursed asked:

[ Wish ] - Have you ever wanted to wish upon a star, but never been lucky enough to witness the real thing? That’s too bad, because these magical stars streaking across the sky probably still don’t count, but they are gorgeous - and more than pretty enough to watch with a special someone else.

It catches his attention by the light of the first star shooting across the sky, almost like a spark, a trick of the light, but it returns, again and again as each bright streak briefly reflects in the woman's eyes. Her eye, rather, bearing an unfamiliar Mark. Andrei had only seen the Mark of Ullr in the flesh, of course, but hers does not resemble any that he had seen from illustrations of the other houses in the slightest. Could it be he is misremembering... He's startled from his thoughts by the sudden realization that he'd been staring in silence for several long moments. "My apologies," Andrei says, automatically, "I was merely wondering... if you would be willing to swap brooches." He hastily offers his teardrop crystal as a flimsy excuse. Though... "...You would not happen to be of Jugdral, would you?" Curiosity wins out in the end, and he poses the question, gaze flickering back to the marking in her eye.

The mark of her blood has long concerned her, even after she no longer possessed a reason to disguise it. There is a weight to the fact that, were someone to recognize it, they might not understand why it was shared with the young princess of Ylisse.

That she was the young ( less so, now ) princess of Ylisse.

Though the man before her does not seem to recognize it for that. Lucina blinks, gaze flickering between his sudden offer and his expression, then shakes her head.

"There's no need to apologize. Thank you."

Her own crystal, nearly identical, is offered in turn. She lets the moment of the exchange fill the silence of his following question, quieting her own curiosity. The brand had been recognized before for such a reason-- Lucina remembers the familiarity in Lady Deirdre's gaze like a brand of its own. Something meant for a hero of legend, not for her, and yet offered despite that.

The corners of her lips turn, a small smile.

"No, I am not." The crystal is tucked away. "Though where I am from, it is spoken of in ancient legend. Mine is the brand of the Exalt, it is the mark of Naga." An answer to his unspoken question, though her expression turns a touch sheepish. "If, of course, that is what you were hoping to learn..."