#its 4am i am rambling

[maremortus]

HEADCANON LOVE LANGUAGE & COURTSHIP

i'm going to start this off by saying that valora is a difficult person to love , or even really like depending on who you are . she is stubborn , combative , does not understand human emotion well or even emotion in general due to being raised in such an unforgiving and loveless environment . for those under the sea , i suppose it's easier for her to get along whenever she finds herself a love interest but it's worth mentioning ( especially because most people write muses that are from the surface ) that ...

valora's love languages are things she has learned while being in the depths . she does not know about land dwelling tradition & so therefore does not practice most of it knowingly . valora was raised in an entirely different world , where love itself struggles to exist .

but i digress ... let's talk about what valora does when she is plucking up the courage to court someone . i'll start with the underwater traditions and then follow up with how she chooses to adapt these traditions when on land .

01. it's common among merfolk to show romantic interest in someone by gifting them small precious things ( pearls , nice shells , crystals ... basically anything they can scavenge that looks shiny and/or colourful ) . this is seen as the sort of 'first base' among merfolk and is really what you do when you want to admit to having a crush . now , gift giving like this definitely happens when a relationship is established too , but this would be the first step of courting someone . these gifts are very often rejected by the potential love interest for the first few attempts , purposefully to play a game of ' hard to get ' just so they can see the lengths valora would be willing to go to in order to establish a romantic connection . while it is completely normal for the first few attempts to be rejected , there are of course ways in which merfolk understand when and when not to continue finding gifts . if the rejection is stern and the gift is buried into the sand ( away from sight entirely ), this means that valora should not continue pursuing them because they are not interested . however , if the person gently sets it atop the sand after inspecting it for a few seconds , that is their silent way of saying ' keep going and maybe you'll get there ' .

02. after having found the right gift , the courting stage can then move onto something different . now that interest has been established and returned by the other person , valora's next course of action would be to invite them to dance . she herself must prepare a stage , ensuring that every single detail is perfect . there must be no debris , it must be in a secluded and private location , the sand must be built into a specific pattern and the lighting must be perfect . a slight problem with any of these things could mean that her partner may end up uninterested by her . if the stage is to the persons liking , then both them and valora will engage in an intimate dance at the center of the stage .

side note : this is an old tradition , something that has been among merfolk for a very long time . the newer generations are more relaxed with the rules and although they still enjoy the traditional courtship , they are much less harsh when the small details are a little off . most people do not get this far without there being a genuine interest and so , this interest will not just collapse if a shell is facing the wrong direction . this would be the case for older generations however .

03. if you've managed to get this far , then that means this courtship is going pretty darn well ! the dance shared between the partners if often enough to seal the deal between most people ( especially the most recent generations ) but there is one last step that is an important part especially if you're from some kind of royal family . the courtship process at this point would be made public and the next step would be to come before the person's parents in order to ask for their approval of the relationship . if they approve , great ! if they don't ... well it can be complicated . for the royal family , a rejection is final and you will not be able to try again lest you want to be thrown in jail . for common folk however , it's more relaxed and you can find creative ways to sway the parents opinion of you .

that's about it for the basics of underwater courtship ... now onto the love languages between merfolk when they are actually in a relationship ... gift giving is still very prominent but there are a few other things that really scream ' i'm in love with you ' and i'll list them below .

preening scales & tails . a common love language among merfolk is the act of helping you partner take care of themselves . specifically taking care of their scales and tails/fins . helping your partner look their best by removing any dirt/blood/blemishes or even by styling their hair & adjusting their clothing , is seen as very romantic . it's not something you would do unless you are together with someone . for example , valora will not allow anyone to help clean herself unless she is very interested in them .

singing . while a lot of merfolks voices can be used for bad ( ie putting humans into a trance in order to drown them ) , it's also a very sacred way of really showing how much you love someone . merfolk absolutely do not sing for everyone and often reserve their voices for a person that they are totally sure that they love wholeheartedly . singing to your partner ( and especially if they sing back ) is like peak romance and it's almost a way of saying that they will be together forever .

in her time on land , valora has realised that love and courtship is seen very differently . she has learned to adapt her underwater methods whilst still keeping everything very similar . for example , she will still give gifts and still invite said person to dance if she feels the time is right . asking for permission is entirely unnecessary on land , so that's something she tends to avoid . she has learned that a lot of land dwelling people enjoy romantic meals , and so tries to put together something from their own culture instead of basing everything on what she was raised with . on land , valora will make a conscious effort to learn how to be more open minded .

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

this meme was made for him

[racetrackmybeloved]

thinking about how much pain crutchy must be in

like. his crutch is clearly too short for him. did he get it before hitting his growth spurt and now can't afford a taller one? is he waiting until he grows even more so that he doesn't have to keep on buying new ones? bending over sideways like that constantly must hurt him SO much.

and combine that with carrying stacks of papers all day? the other kids can transfer their papers to their other arm when they start to get tired, but he can't.

someone give crutchy a back massage please and thank you

sidenote: i wrote 'someone get that boy an ibuprofen' as a stupid tag and then thought hm did ibuprofen exist yet and no it did not (until the 1960s)! paracetemol didn't appear commercially in the US until 1950. production of aspirin started in 1899, and it was advertised and distributed to doctors and hospitals at this point, but was not available to the public without a prescription until 1915.

HOWEVER newsboys did sometimes go to hospitals - in 1897 a newsboy named john kelly staying at the duane st lodging house had a sore throat, and the superintendent sent him to the hudson street hospital. and in 1900, after a fight between two newsboys led to one of them stabbing the other in the neck, the injured boy was sent to the hospital (he was apparently fine). that was a very long winded way of saying that it IS feasible for crutchy to have gone to a doctor and gotten a prescription.

so yeah maybe our boy crutchy was actually taking aspirin !

sources woo

[coloredcompulsion]

You ever just have media that is so psychologically damaging you end up making the characters in Stardew Valley so they can just,, chill for a bit. They need somewhere to rest and this is where they shall.

[stevethehairington]

it is barely 8 am and the univer is t e s t i n g me i SWEAAAAAAR

[sonicranger1]

If I didn't already figure out I was Bi I feel like Epic the Musical would've definitely made me realize

[seariii]

My take on Kotoko as a morally gray person, about a morally gray character who thinks in black and white

first of all, i absolutely love this woman, so all of this comes from a kotoko enjoyer, but when talking about canon i can not turn the blind eye to the wrongs she has done. i will talk about my perception of her murder, of her as a character and about her beating up the guilty prisoners (i will put this emoji 🐺 when i jump subjects just to keep it organized)

this next phrase is my personal take, i know some will disagree with me and thats okay, which also works as a tl;dr:

Kotoko didnt do anything wrong outside the prison, but she did wrong inside of it

i know beating up people isnt actually good, but she did research upon research to get to the bottom of the cases she was investigating and found the culprits this way. "but she could've brought them upon justice" and you arent wrong about that, but the victim she actually murdered, even when his identity was revealed to the public, the law didnt bring justice upon him.

screenshots & translations from @/maristelina (i didnt put everything in here, if you wanna check all the articles, please go check on their post!)

her victim was a child murderer, he had already killed 10 girls in 2 years, but even then, he was still free because of his father’s position of power. 

then we have her other victim, the man she beat up and sent to the hospital

there are a couple articles dedicated to this one. but a quick run down: the man, Mikio Oshii, was wanted for theft and assault, having tricked at least 2 or 3 elderly people, pretending to be a bank employee, and convincing them to hand over cash, he pushed one of his victims, fracturing her ankle. 

then we have the article about Kotoko’s assault. again a quick run down: someone heard screaming and found a man lying on the ground, who had lost consciousness after being beaten up, and was taken to the hospital. the police suspects a man (kotoko was wearing men’s sneakers and covering herself up). the victim was wanted for theft and assault charges and was Mikio Oshii.

further proving that she was aiming at people who prayed on the weak, she had good intentions (at least at first), and we also have the facts that she was trying to go through the lawful(?) path at first 

she was studying law, showing us that she genuinely believed her cause, bringing justice to the world and protecting the innocent, or “weaklings” as she calls them, more on that later.  that she was gonna try and go for the morally correct route, but what changed? what is that thing she “wants to do”? i hope we get to see her reasoning on the next trial. for now i agree with the theory that says that her or her family was victim of someone like the guy that was above law for having money and a father with a position of power. showing her the flaws of the law/justice system and thus taking matters into her own hands.

🐺 i personally believe that there are some people who dont deserve second chances, like pedos and rapists, and like the man kotoko murdered, between others. so this is why i forgive her from her crimes. she did proper research, she is passionate about it, she wants to protect the weak, or thats what she tries to convince herself of, because this brings me to my next point

she does have those violent tendencies, and she enjoys them

“this feels so good”

this is from the t1 trailer, people suspect this were phrases they said after their murders. so i think there is a possibility that while she was trying to convince herself that her actions were for justice, to try and protect the weak, and i dont doubt that that was where it came from at first, she ended up doing it out of personal enjoyment.

i once read that “if you do a good deed because you want to do it, it means that you arent a good person. to be a good person you need to do good deeds without wanting something in return” meaning that you should be uninterested on even the satisfaccion of said deed. this is a phrase that i absolutely hate and dont agree with, but i think it applies in here. kotoko was trying to do something “good” (morality is on the bearer’s eyes) by bringing to justice people who kept escaping it, by taking revenge for those weaklings she so desperately wants to protect, and while thats her main motivation, she also does it because she wants to.

i believe my girl has a thirst for power. she is self righteous, the way she refers to the people she wants to protect as “weaklings” its like shes putting them down in some way, the way on her VD she just wants to keep rambling about her theories, the way she inserted herself on Mikoto’s interrogation, the way she just assumes Es’ intentions and doesnt seem to accept when they call her out on it. she doesnt listen to others at all and once her mind is set on something, there is nothing that can move her from there. she isnt a good person…. but also, she isnt a bad person, and i feel that the fandom forgets those two statements can coexist. even if she sees herself as a saint, and firmly believes that she did nothing wrong, thats because

🐺 her world view is black and white. and this is why while i condone her actions on her murder, i do not condone her actions of beating up the guilty prisoners.

a lot of the prisoners have a black and white morality, heck, milgram itself as a system IS black and white. and from what i’ve read, a lot of the fandom also thinks in black and white. all of which i find extremely… interesting…. tbf its the nd majority vote game about nd murderers on the nd website, so makes sense (im half joking, sorry)

kotoko attacked the guilty prisoners because thats what she had been doing, and thats what she got voted innocent for on t1 (i wasnt around). but no one told her to do that, she acted on her own, she misinterpreted her judgment and forced her opinions and methods on others, claiming it were Es’, without their knowledge and without ours.

as a side note, when i first got into the fandom, i found surprising to see that kotoko was inno and fuuta was guilty on t1, since from my perspective their crimes are basically the same, they both exposed and harrowed “bad” people.

i make a lot of emphasis on black and white thinking, since its something im familiarized with, for example lets talk Amane since its her trial is still going

she is the type of girl who will correct other’s mistakes, who will call them out and try to fix them so that the others can be right, like her. her truth is absolute and even when it flails, she stands her ground and proceeds to believe in herself and her views of the world. in what i said, you could re read that and it would also apply to kotoko, and just like her, Amane also convinced herself of doing something she wanted to do by telling herself it was the right thing to do. kotoko’s “protecting the weaklings” directly translates to amane’s “punishing her mother for her sins (hurting the cat)”. so while in both cases there were hidden feelings, something tells me neither of the girls knew about their own ulterior motives, thats how well they convinced themselves.

people who think in black and white just see it as it is, right or wrong, left or right, green or blue, there is no other choice but those two. and from my personal experiences with myself and with others, its something you end up applying in almost every aspect of your life and its really difficult to change up this way of thinking. beginning to see the grays of the world and its other options its not an easy task without some proper help

overall, i dont believe she was right for hurting the guilty prisoners, and fuuta losing his eye because of her gives me a horrible gut feeling. overall, it also ties on her need for power, since she firmly believes shes Es’ “fang”, thus reducing herself a weapon for justice, not implementing her own judgment anymore, but someone else’s, ours, which my problem with her actions in this scenario. i firmly believe that if outside the prison she had came across mahiru or fuuta, she wouldn’t have attacked them, but  after her t1 inno, and getting her ideals supported, her beliefs became radical, and now shes going based on our ideals, our judgments, our right or wrong, our black and white morality, MILGRAM’s black and white morality.

🐺 im still a kotoko inno truther, and i love her, shes my favorite character. but i dont expect her to get innocent this trial, as she did wrong. i dont want to say it was our fault that she harmed the other prisoners, since we had no way of knowing this would happen. in retrospect we can say whatever we want, but none of us can read the future. 

i dont even have a real argument on why you should vote her innocent “shes pretty” is not good enough lmao… but who knows, maybe we will see something that makes her worthy of an inno vote on her second trial a few months from now (not counting on it, probably wont be enough)

in the end i wrote this because im really passionate about this character and her black and white views on the world (shes so intense). and because this beautiful person @archivalofsins told me to "keep talking about kotoko" and i have zero self control regarding this fictional woman.

🐺 i believe with the help of a third party, someone who could act as a moral compass to her and could teach her that the world has more colors, more choices, and if she actually learns about this, she would end up being an amazing thing. 

also, if the theory about her being an accomplice of the serial killer turns out to be true, i will puke and cry :) 

[madame-mongoose]

Anon who thinks I hate gay people for real come back here so I can shove your face in my yaoi art

[bidokja]

i've seen a few comments before (not on here, just in the past on other sites) frustrated and confused about why the oldest dream never talked to yoo joonghyuk. or anyone for that matter. why couldn't he just say something, anything at all? did he feel nothing as they suffered? couldn't he have helped somehow?

and there's a lot i could say about this and a lot of various layers and details and perspectives. but in the end it all comes down to this:

not a single one of us can talk to the characters in a book we're reading.

that's just how it works.

[chirosea]

Does anybody else like staring at Charles when on missions /w him?

…

just me?

ok thanks ..! ^_-

[futuristichedge]

Nothing makes you have to do drawing studies quite like being interested in less popular Sonic media

[roslina-w-bagnie]

I just realized how poetic it is for the goddess of death to have been mortal. A mortal who cheated death and now rules it. A mortal who seduced Death, erased him from existence, and took his place. A goddess who knows how it is to be mortal because she was once the same as the people who are now under her care. For who she cares for way more than her predecessor ever could've, because he wasn't like Them and didn't know how it is to be like Them.

[danidoesathing]

wait hello I just saw that ‘feelings about the cowboys’ post and am EXTREMELY INTRIGUED by the “Lonesome Dreams is a time loop” thing??? 👀

ok ok ok so like. the plot of the lonesome dreams MV always kinda bothered me cause like if it's Huron and Blaquefut's first encounter, just. huh? How does Huron have a picture of Blaquefut in his pocket? why does he have a picture of Blaquefut in his pocket? is he searching for Blaquefut, if so, why? did he take this journey in search of him, and if so what could Blaquefut possibly offer to make him take such a dangerous journey? it just. never made any sense to me.

the island is implied and often theorized to be the afterlife or some kinda limbo. And Blaquefut does die during the Time to Run music video, so the idea of Huron going out to save his brother isn't really that much of a stretch. But he knows Huron at that point so Lonesome Dreams couldn't take place afterwards, right?

but like. what if its not their first encounter?

Time and death have always been a bit fucky in LH lore and like. lets say Blaquefut dies right? and somehow, Huron figures out this island exists and even though its insanely risky and may not work, he's willing to try. Because he can't just abandon his brother and he's willing to risk life and limb for it. So he does, and he does make it to the island. And then things just get...weird. it already doesnt make sense already with the changing biomes and the seasons changing within too short of a time. But even memories start to blur, even if the feelings remain. And washing up on the shore with nothing but a picture of man and the strong urge to find that man, Huron's left with no choice but to follow his instincts. It does eventually lead him to find Blaquefut, whose got no clue who he is either and well. we see what happens next. They form a close bond and get off the island together, and set off to all their future adventures together. They grow as close as brother and form a loyalty to the other unlike any other.

At least until it loops back around to the Time to Run MV and Blaquefut dies again.

and like. lonesome dreams the song is also weird in the sense that like. its not actually about the events of the MV and more about Huron having a strange dream about a lonely world that makes no sense. Maybe, one he's been to before 👀.

seriously like look at these

and hey hey. you wanna know another fun aspect of it that ive completely pulled out of my ass? with this theory and the fact that Huron is the one perpetuating the loop, it keeps with the "doomed both by the narrative and their own actions" and "I love and care about you a lot and that will be the death of us" things. Because the whole thing in the album is like. Huron really wants to go home to Helena. and as time goes on, he becomes more and more desperate to actually get back to her.

but in this scenario, its a timeloop. one he's causing, because he just...can't let go of his friend. He wants to get back to her more than anything but how could he just abandon his brother? if there's even a slim chance of saving him, how could he not take it? so he goes after his friend, and brings him along to this journey to get back home, and then Blaquefut dies again and Huron is going to go save him again and he just. isn't going to get home because he can't let go. Maybe if he took a different path, maybe if he stopped trying to go home and accepted that the life with Helena is unobtainable to him, then maybe they can avoid that fight and maybe Blaquefut can get out it alive. But Huron can't let go of Helena either, so he'll keep trying to return and Blaquefut is loyal enough to follow him to the ends of the earth and it just. keeps going. He can't have the life with both that he desperately wants but he refuses to make the choice necessary to free them from this loop. and thus the cycle continues.

[dizzybizz]

we have these baubles with a bunch of our family's names written with these glitter glue pens or whatever they are

and this time around my mom changed mine to my new name

and i kinda wanna cry about it

cause i walked down the stairs to the living room and i saw them all resting on towels and drying

i sat down on the couch to just look them over

i was searching for my bauble but i tried to act like i wasn't, don't think i was actually too subtle about it but i pretended

there were baubles with the names of our pets, half siblings, nephews and i found mine

and my mom had changed it

i had a hunch she might've, it's just like her to do something like that

but idk i guess it just kinda really drove home the point that i am accepted and this is all real? it's not some elaborate daydream or something i came up with after fantasizing about coming out and all

im just feeling some trans joy

sorry it's 4am i can't sleep but i am thinking and feeling and my family accepts me and im just overwhelmed with it all and ahshdjfjfjshhdnffmmgvm..... y'know

[imabiscuitinthousandworlds]

i should not be allowed to read this author at emotional times. like. late at night. relocated from sleeping on the sofa (again lmao) at like 2am and was awake and i had mentioned that i really loved the play that one author had written (yes, the one filling me with admiration and envy so bad that let's not get into that) to my teacher and she also really likes that author and loaned me two books of his. so i decided, hey, i'm gonna read a bit, either i get tired and fall asleep (good) or i finish the book (also good) except now i'm hit once again by this stupid emotion mocktail i wanna write like that so so so bad but i'll never be able to write this or something like it because he already did that, that's the point, so now i'm tired but still not sleeping because ough and also i should really analyse the story maybe

[cinnamon-won]

O7

I’m really sitting here depressed about a guy at almost 4am

resisting the urge to post the fat paragraph of memories I’ve just written

being too scared to post it even though I know there’s no chance of him seeing this

Someone tell me what to do 🥲