#its 2:25 am i should be sleeping

[kayak-lmao]

Hazbin doodles featuring my musical theater fixation!

Uhh all the musicals + songs if you wanna listen to them below

Angel:

The Games I Play - Falsettos

Bring on the Men - Jekyll and Hyde

Emily:

Shine a Light - Heathers

Husk:

Legally Blonde - Legally Blonde

Charlie:

Popular - Wicked

Velvette:

World Burn - Mean Girls

Vox:

Meant To Be Yours - Heathers

Stupid With Love - Mean Girls

Cursed Cat Alastor:

Feed Me (Git it!) - Little Shop of Horrors

Vaggie:

What More Can I Say? - Falsettos

[codecicle]

JUST ROLL WITH IT PROPAGANDA AND THE MAYBE SORTA KINDA PROMISE OF HIM STREAMING MORE THAN LIKE TWICE A YEAR LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOO

[yaoiplug]

im hoarding so many urls and it's like atp i just have them just bc like if anyone ever messaged me abt them id give them away but no one ever did which leads me to believe THEY'RE LAME or no one is on the same elevated wavelength as me

[sea-salted-wolverine]

No one should ever go to Kasilof. It is a terrible place with terrible weather and overflowing porta potties and overstuffed dumpsters with child snatching and dogfighting and some crazy guy swinging a sword that got shot by the cops. Awful stuff really. Best avoided. Just not worth the bother.

That was the gist of the news stories leading up to the kasilof sockeye runs this year it was no issue at all to find a camping spot and it wasn't nearly as crowded so I totally agree with the mainstream media on this one. It's a den of vice and iniquity. Stay away. The rent lowering gunshots clipped a reporter.

So this year we went down with a largish caravan of 4 family's worth of people and junk and a limit of 170 fish to catch. We're soo good at planning and logistics that this went off with no hitch and no arguments (lying). Since we also had a very pregnant lady and excited 2 year old who would not be fishing but were still counted towards the limit we planned on being there for a while, at least 3 days if not more. We also had the damn dog.

So at least I was planning on a few days of chill fishing and a long slog. My brother in law left an hour or so early with his girlfriend and had one job, to find us a good spot to descend upon and set up our camp. They did not do this. One job. The fishing was hot so they didn't even really bother to park, we pulled up on his truck kinda packed off to the side of the road and he was down in the water with a pile of fish on the beach because he didn't even have a cooler ready.

So by the time we bitched him out, found a campsite, set up camp and squared everything away, it was approaching midnight. This is normal, you fish the tides as they come and its not like it gets dark so wandering the beach all night long is expected so long as you're considerate of those trying to sleep.

But then.

My Sunshineman brought his boat. I knew he brought his boat, I was in fact the one arguing that he needed to do things like park and set up camp rather than do exactly what his brother did and throw himself into the river as soon as he saw fish coming in, while neglecting those little things like, food and sleep. But since we were done setting up, he wanted to go fishing from his boat. At midnight.

I had been up early that morning to do terrible things in the bilge of a different, much larger boat that resulted in fun colored bruises on my ribs and sore shoulders, so I wasn't particularly feeling the vibe on this one. I helped launch the boat and then bowed out to go pass out in a pile of blankies in the sand.

In the time it took two set up camp and launch the boat Adak, the dog, managed to get into a fight and have his face ripped up. He is huge and he is stupid but he doesn't take shit but he was on leash while the other dog was running loose, so the impulse was to pull him back, if he had been left to his own we probably would have gotten away with out anyone getting bit.

He's fine and chicks dig scars but its indicative that I had no idea this happened 25 yards away from me until adak came up to me and smeared his face all over my pants. My pants already had engine grease, bilge slime, grass stains, fish guts, coffee, mud, sand and a few baby boogers on them so what's a little dog blood too?

So yea, not my circus, not my monkeys, in tent, pants off, pjs on, cozy bitch in the blankies, out like a light, nothing better than sleeping on the beach.

Except for the fact that your husband wakes you up at 2 AM asking for help.

I'm convinced he kept it vague on purpose.

I'm up. I'm out of the tent. I'm still in my pj's. I have my drysuit on over top. My waders have a hole in them. It is, I cannot stress this enough, 2 AM.

The boat is a 16 foot mil surplus zodiac with a 40 horse Johnson, if you care about that sort of thing. It gets nice comments from people who do care. We usually run one person to drive, 2 to work the nets, and one optional person to handle fish as they come in. Sunshine went out with our 2 friends who AFAIK crawled off the boat and directly into bed after 2 solid hours of midnight deathmatch fishing, because I watched them stumble out of the boat and didn't see them again until breakfast. The boat was entirely full of fish. THEY CAUGHT 49 FISH IN LESS THAN 2 HOURS. Kasilof reds are usually smaller than Kenai reds but there must have been a secondary run because half were the average 6 or 7 pound fish and the rest were something like 10 lbs each.

At some point sunshine must have woken up his brother because he materialized from somewhere and we got the fish out of the boat into a cooler so we could drag them up to clean them. Then came the thing that we're all still more than a smidge irritated about. Sunshine went back out in the boat, by himself, to go get more fish while BIL and I cleaned the ones he had just brought back. We couldn't even yell at him because a good chunk of the beach was asleep.

So at about 4 am the sky has decided to shift from twilight to morning and I am sitting on a cooler of gutted fish in a superbly uncomfortable drysuit having a moment of perfect communication with the bald eagle sitting on the light pole at the end of the dock. We would both enjoy breakfast, preferably of fish. But it is four fucking am in the morning. And we should both be alseep. Breakfast is not a meal best enjoyed at 4 am. A nap sounds best.

Sunshine comes back with 3 more fish. I honestly do not remember what happened to those fish. Either I gutted them or he gutted them or maybe they got raptured into fishy heaven, (which looks suspiciously like the inside of a cooler) I legitimately do not know, because I think my REM cycle was starting up again.

I get a hand to haul the cooler back to camp. I peel out of the dry suit and was asleep back in my cozy sleeping bag blanket pile before Sunshine even made it to the tent.

At something like, idk, 6am, someone started splitting wood. loudly. I was awake enough to identify that it was near, and probably not a problem and I distinctly remember making the semi conscious decision to sleep through it. At about this point my phone died and for the rest of this trip I had no idea what time it was. I intended to take pictures and document things and whatnot and that just did not happen. The phone stayed dead and my hands stayed busy.

I woke up last, presumably because the demon that compels my mother-in-law to get up at 5 AM every morning had already woken everyone up with the wood splitting. She was toasting breakfast burritos, and it wasn't as if I had slept through the whole morning because I wasn't even the last to get a burrito.

My FIL made a joke that at least one of us got a full 8 hours and BIL earned back all his brownie points by jumping in to defend me unprompted. She was indeed up at ungodly hours playing with knives and dead fish. How dare you impune her honor simply because she looks so dewy fresh after sleeping in the dirt?

I did at least get the chance to put a net in the water from the beach but we were limited out by 1pm. That's enough fish fast enough that we were dumping out food and drinks coolers because we planned on freeing up space as we went. So I had our camp that we had intended to stay in for as long as a week broken down and hundreds of pounds of fish gutted and iced in a few hours. While drinking, because we had several days worth of food and drinks and beers that had been displaced by fish. The solstice vodka lemonade from matanuska brewing is great btw.

We had planned to overlap the end of our trip with the beginning of my mom and sister coming down so we could fish together, so I called mom as were were leaving the beach. From Sunshineman's phone of course, mine being dead at the bottom of a bag somewhere. As the current time was something like 16 hours from when we arrived, she assumed I forgot something or was just calling to tell her about the nice weather, or terrible weather, or confirming the news report's porta potty horror story. She didn't expect us to pull in a years worth of food in a single tide cycle.

So we get home without incident, and get to cleaning and fileting and packing and labeling at, some, late, evening time, maybe? I'm time blind on a good day and if I had a watch it would be covered in fish slime.

So yeah, this year's fish camp was condensed into a single solid slug of dense firey whatthefuckFISHfishFISHcleanpackgutgohome. Niece creature didn't want to change our of pj's so she wore the same outfit for her entire trip which is spectacular from a laundry standpoint because a toddler given free reign to a muddy fishy beach goes about as well as expected. She had a ball and then napped through almost the entire cleaning and packing process when we got home, which is what I wanted to do but instead I fileted triple digits worth of fish.

Mom went down later for the weekend and she got rained on for 3 days and caught 7 fish and a flounder. We caught the hot run and came home with fish but at what cost?

[weixuldo]

Enigma// ch 25

anakin x reader

A/N: Helloooooo everyone!! once again i am back :0 enigma is entering its FINAL CHAPTERS!!! i’m planning probably two more and possibly an epilogue (if that interests you guys) thank you so much for reading!! this one is kinda long

anakin has been acting off…

warnings: cursing, mentions of pregnancy, afab! reader, depressive tendencies, ani is a disabled veteran, topics of death

_____________________________

The season seemed to change quicker than the last and soon the cool brisk air of autumn was at your doorstep; the weeks after Anakin’s party mostly consisted of you going back to classes and uncomfortably sitting in the hard chairs of your university. 

As for Anakin, he spent most of his days working on converting the spare room into a nursery for your child (that should be making an appearance in about two months).

There was really only so much Anakin could do, but it really helped that he got the grunt of it done for you. 

The two of you tended to avoid talking about his condition, but every once in a while there were bad days where there was no denying the severity. Anakin played down his discomfort a lot of the time (he didn’t want to trouble you), but you could always tell. Most of the time you would just silently comfort him and do your best to alleviate his pain.

On the other side of things, when the baby would be restless (in turn, making you exhausted) he was an absolute sweetheart. He would drop everything just to hold you. 

Thankfully, this week had been merciful to both of you; Anakin had been feeling great and you had been getting full nights of rest. You decided to sleep in with Anakin and enjoy the free saturday. 

Bright streaks of sunlight peeked through the cloth curtains as you laid beside your lover. He was resting on his stomach with his longer arm under his pillow; the warm sun illuminated the freckles scattered across his back and you lightly traced them (as you often did).

You attempted to scoot closer, but your bump hit his side before you could get as close as you wanted. A frown found its way onto your face; yes, this belly was the product of your love, but man it was annoying sometimes. 

You rolled over onto your side and silently daydreamed about cuddling close to Anakin again once you had the baby. 

As if he could read your thoughts, he shifted the best he could to hug against your back.

“Ani? You're awake?” you quietly asked. 

He only hummed a sleepy agreement before kissing your shoulder. 

“Morning, my love-  how did the two of you sleep?” he asked.

“This little one was a bit active around 2, but other than that, we slept well” you responded, snaking your hand around your side to brush against his stump. 

“Mmm”

The two of you basked in the warm sunlight until Anakin’s alarm went off. 

“Shit” he groaned before calling to siri to end it. 

He pushed himself up and stretched his neck before reaching for his shorter prosthetic (easier to put on by himself).

He placed the mechanical forearm between his legs and pushed his arm into the socket like a glove; once it was on fully, he tested the motor controls (grip control, strength, and range). 

As he pieced himself together, you silently observed him with a small smile. He was a living wonder. 

As he fitted his longer arm, he caught a glimpse of your staring and smirked, “what's got you so attentive? Hmm?”.

“Oh, nothing- just a very, very handsome man” you replied in an innocent voice. 

“Is that so?” he said, reaching for his legs that were propped against the night stand. 

“Most definitely” you giggled, sitting up. 

He shook his head with a smile. You stood and stretched, the baby was putting an uncomfortable strain on your back. 

“Do you need any help, Ani?” you asked, walking to his side of the bed. 

Usually you wouldn’t have asked, but he had been having some trouble this week. 

“I’m alright, thank you though” he said. 

“Wait, actually could you hand me my liners, I think I left them over by the closet, I’m sorry”.

Sure enough they were sitting on the stool by the dresser, you grabbed them and walked back to him, “No need to apologize- here” you said with a smile. 

He grabbed them and thanked you before bringing your hand to his lips- his plush lips softly peppered a delicate kiss on the back of your hand, making you smile. 

Anakin put on his liners and lined up his legs with the prosthetics. He began to push his legs into the sockets and got ready to stand. After months living with him, you knew he preferred to do his first few steps in private; it took a few awkward wobbly steps to get his legs secured and ready to walk, so you left the bedroom so he could work it out. 

You went to the cabinet to grab the box of cheerios you had been working on all week; not long after you heard the bedroom door open and soon Anakin walked around to your side. Without a word he brushed his mechanical hand across the small of yoru back before kissing you on the cheek. 

“How are your legs today, Ani?” you asked, pouring the rest of the milk into your bowl. 

“They’re better than yesterday,” he responded, grabbing some fruit from the fridge. 

“That's good,” you responded.

The two of you ate breakfast quietly until you said you needed to go grocery shopping.

“We can go today, I need to run some errands anyways” Anakin said quickly. 

He never liked to go out… odd. 

“I can get your stuff since ill already be out, what do you need?” 

“No It’s ok, I want to go with you” he insisted. 

Hmm..

“Is something wrong Ani?” 

“No, why do you ask?” he responded. 

“Nothing” you shook your head. 

With that you went back to the bedroom to get dressed and Anakin started taking his pills. He was acting weird out of nowhere but you couldn’t quite tell what was wrong, though after a year knowing him, it was better not to pry. 

Your bump was becoming comically round; this must be a big baby! As you walked back out to the kitchen you felt a kick; poking a finger at your belly you playfully said “Hey little one, you’ve still got about two months to go!”. 

______________________________________

You headed to the driver's seat of the car but Anakin beat you to it. He usually wasn’t so adamant to drive. 

“I’ll drive,” he said, opening the door. 

“Are you sure, Ani? I can” you protested. 

“Yea, I don't want you exhausting yourself, I know the baby has been kicking” he said, pulling you in to kiss your forehead. 

“Alright”

The car ride was mostly silent, save for the old radio (Anakin refused to convert to AUX, he insisted the CDs and radio of his youth were superior).

With the way he had to drive, he didn’t have a free hand to rest on your thigh, so you rested yours on his instead. 

“You seem off today, Is everything alright?” you finally decided to ask him. 

“Mhm” he mumbled, looking out the window. 

You decided not to ask further, his whole demeanor was off. 

After a few more miles he passed the grocery store and continued to another location. 

“Ani, you missed the exit” you said, watching the store disappear further into the distance. 

“Yea” he said, pulling into a building you hadn’t seen before. 

“What's going on?” you demanded- anxiety climbing with every minute.

“Its a surprise” he said, putting his regular hand back on. 

He got out and came around to open your door. A surprise? For what? Why would he be acting so weird? 

You wrapped your hands around his bicep as he led you into the building, it was dark and seemed pretty vacant, but he turned a corner and opened the door to reveal a brightly colored baby shower. 

Your worries ceased and a smile came to your face; all of this was for you?

The past weeks had been insanely stressful and you didn’t realize how tense you were until the realization that all of these people in this room cared for you and your baby…

Maybe it was the hormones or maybe it was the stress all coming undone, but you felt yourself tearing up. 

Ahsoka shouted “surprise”, until she saw your eyes watering; she ran up and enveloped you in a big hug.

“Aww y/n! It’s alright, I didn’t mean to upset you” he said, rubbing your back.

“No, no- Ash, this is so sweet- I don’t even know what to say”

“You don’t have to say anything, just know you’re doing a great job”.

She led you to the main area and you conversed with the attendees (Mainly composed of some friends from school and the friends you had made through Ash and Ani).

There was an adorable cake with cutely piped icing in the shapes of baby animals in pastel shades, sparkling cider (non-alcoholic, of course) in what looked like sippy cups (Rex though it would be funny), and a big circular table with a pile of gifts. 

You couldn’t have been more surprised by this.

________________________

Anakin smiled as he watched your excitement; you deserved something special.

He was just about to join the party when his phone began to ring; it was his doctors office.

“Hello?” he answered.

“Is Mr. Skywalker there?” the woman on the other end asked.

“This is he”

“Wonderful, we’ve just called to inform you that your tissue samples have been processed and analyzed”

Anakin’s eye twitched- he had been waiting for those results since he came back… he didn’t know if he even wanted to know.

“Alright”

“Are you in a private area? The results are serious”

Fuck.

“yea, I’m good” he lied as he smiled and waved as you turned around to find him.

“Ok wonderful, unfortunately the results came back indicating high levels of deficiency; your liver is grossly underproducing cholesterol, bile, and is not breaking down saturated fats as a normal liver should”

He closed his eyes and sighed- he knew something was wrong- nothing ever went right for him.

“what does that mean for me exactly?” he asked.

“Your liver’s functionality will rapidly decline in the following weeks and you will feel higher levels of discomfort”

Anakin nodded along as he listened to the woman list off symptoms he should expect.

“How long?”

“Pardon?” she asked

“How long do I have left?”

“Sir, I’m not so sure I ca-“

“I think have a right to know if I’m going to live long enough to see my child’s birth-so how long?” he seethed.

“A few weeks… But, there are possibilities for longer- do you know how far along on the donor list you are? Remember everyone’s path is different, you may-”.

Anakin hung up and shoved his phone back into his pocket. He felt his chest heaving, but the sounds of the lively gathering only a few yards away, caught his attention.

You were grinning ear to ear as your friends all doted on you. He couldn’t ruin your day. He just needed to push the information aside for now and focus on you.

He could deal with this the same way he dealt with everything; ignore it.

_____________________

After mingling for a bit you realized Anakin had been sitting off to the side; not unlike him, but you would think he would put on a more cheery face at his unborn child’s baby shower.

He was leaning back in one of those uncomfortable folding metal chairs, his arm resting on the table beside him. You walked up and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder and he flinched as if you startled him. 

“Ani, what's the matter?” you asked.

He shook his sandy locks and readjusted himself on the chair, “Nothing princess, Just don’t like keeping things from you” he said vaguely. 

“What? About this party?” you questioned, confusedly. 

Anakin obviously knew something you didn’t but he didn’t want to ruin your time here so he lied- you looked so happy- you deserved to always be this happy.

So he took a deep breath and mustered up an authentic smile and reached for your hand. 

“Hah, yea- you almost caught me a few times. I was worried I would give in to your questions and ruin the surprise” he said, leaning up for a kiss. 

You happily returned the gesture and smiled against him. 

“I was wondering why you were acting off earlier- you had me worried, but I’m glad everything is alright! Should we go back?” you smiled, tugging lightly on his sweatshirt’s hem. 

“Of course, sweetheart”

____________________________________

You settled in to bed with a smile on your face; today was the best day, you had in a while- you felt loved and supported by your friends, you got a lot of great things for your baby (that should be arriving in a few short months), and you got to cuddle with the man whom you loved. 

You snuggled beneath the plush blankets and rested your head on Anakin’s shoulder, “ I can’t wait to meet our baby” you smiled as you hugged yourself closer him.

“Goodnight Ani”.

You felt him tenderly kiss your forehead, “goodnight my love”.

Shortly you drifted off into a peaceful slumber, but Anakin was wide awake; his thoughts raced. 

Today was an exciting day for the two of you, no doubt, but he couldn’t stop thinking about the future. You were so young, so beautiful- you had your whole life ahead of you. And here he was basically twice your age, broken, and useless… and yet-

You loved him.

He knew you loved him, he felt how much you truly cared and sometimes he felt guilty for it. He cherished and loved you just as much but he knew that he would end up leaving you before you left him… it was just a matter of age. 

He had enough health problems when you first met, but he’d been getting worse- it pained him to think of you alone with a child that you weren’t even expecting. That is the last thing he would want to do to you…

He took a deep breath as he felt you sleepily cling closer to him.

Maker.

How was he supposed to tell you his tissue samples came back from the lab this morning?

How was he supposed to tell you he only had a few weeks left?

How was he supposed to break your heart?

***

a/n: as i’ve said many times before: I am not a medical professional so i’m sorry for the mistakes in medical knowledge hahah- this chapter was kinda bittersweet :/ and as always i wanna thank you all for reading!!

taglist : @dnamht @sxoulohvn @angeelcoree @wtf-andys @httpeachesblog @katsukiswrld @jetiikote @poisonedsultana a @imarimon @fallinlovewithevil @sythe-skywalker

[minnielvr]

DIE FOR YOU - chapter 11 : "y/n asf"

"okay next question," hyunjin took another flash card, "at what age does the brain become fully mature?"

"oh easy, 25 years old." you answered.

hyunjin was currently helping you study for your psychology test for tomorrow, like he promised when he took you out. it was going well so far and there were no major distractions.

"ugghh y/n im bored." hyunjin threw the flashcards on the desk and whined.

"hey! do you think i want to do this right now too?"

"well then lets just not do it.."

"hyunjin i HAVE to study for this test, it makes up like 30% of my grade." in truth though, you've already studied way more than needed. maybe you were just looking for an excuse to spend more time with him.

"oh cmon y/n, we've done 50 flash card and you've been studying the whole week. lets just stop now hm?" he offered

"okay, fine. but what will we do now?" you didn't want him to leave, but you didn't want to be bored either.

"uhhh icecream?" he raised his brow

"hyunjin it's almost 1 in the morning nothing is open." you hit his head softly.

"OH I KNOW-" you covered his mouth, "hyunjin shut up!! you'll wake them up" you scolded him

"sorry sorry. anyway how about we dye my hair." he said with a grin on his face.

"im sorry what?" you blinked a couple of times.

"well im kinda getting bored of this red, most of my outfits don't match with it either." he started playing with it.

"but i love the red. its so...you"

"awwww well thank you cutie." he squished your cheeks and surprisingly, you let him.

"well where could we find hair dye right at this time of night? and what color?"

"im sure theres a 24 hour market here somewhere. and i want to do black." he went on his phone and googled up places nearby.

"well, lets go then. you sure about this?" you asked one last time.

he shrugged his shoulders, "i guess"

‿୨♡୧‿

you and hyunjin were now in the convenience store looking at the hair dye. you guys were arguing about wether he should get permanent or temporary.

"hyunjin if you get permanent then you don't like it how will you take it off?" you tried to reason with him

"y/n my natural hair color is black...i know how i look." he laughed at you.

"oh...well my bad i didn't know you before this." you crossed your arms, why is he laughing at you?

"awww it's cute how much you care, cmon lets go to checkout." he dragged you along.

"just for the record i don't care."

he just looked back at you and smiled. you guys were at the register and hyunjin payed, then you left to walk back.

‿୨♡୧‿

hyunjin was in your bathroom on a chair with a towel over his shoulders, while you were mixing up the dye.

you came behind him and looked at him in the mirror "you ready?"

"lets do it."

so you got to work, spreading the dye all over his bright red hair and on his roots. you guys made small talk while doing so, asking him about his friends and whatnot. soon you guys finished and let it dry for 30 minutes, it should've been for longer but he couldn't wait.

you took him back to the bathroom where he leaned his head over the tub so you could wash it. you reached out to his hair and started running your fingers through it messily while he sighed, saying it felt like a massage. you finished up quickly and didn't allow him to look in any mirrors until you finished cleaning.

you led him to your dresser and made him sit down in front of it while you kept a hand over his eyes.

"okay you can look in 3...2...1!! open!!" you raised your hand off his eyes.

"wowww it looks good" he started playing with his hair and styling it.

you guys talked for a bit after that while admiring his new hair, eating some snacks, and obviously not forgetting to take some pictures.

"omg hyunjin its 3 am you have to go home" you couldn't have him spend the night.

"awww whyyy?" he pouted and put his arms around you. lately he was getting very touchy, but you didn't mind.

you tried pushing him off, "because i have to sleep and so do you! i have a big day tomorrow"

"but if i walk in the house that late they'll all be suspicious..." he looked away from you, he forgot about the dare.

"so? just tell them you fucked someone or something." you shrugged while chewing on your granola bar, not thinking much of it.

"can i tell them i fucked y-" you put your hand over his mouth once again, "dont even think about it."

you walked him to the door and let him put on his shoes, then he faced you.

"well, thanks for everything tonight y/n. i hope we can do it again." he smiled at you.

he wants to do this again? with you? damn since when did you become so weak for guys.

"your welcome hyunjin, thanks for taking me out too, it was super fun. oh and studying" you started to remember the whole night.

he went in to give you a hug, so you returned it, squeezing him tight. but when he pulled away you gave him a little peck on his lips.

"g'night hyune" you smirked and pushed him out the door.

did you really just kiss hwang hyunjin? this must be a dream, you thought to yourself. as you turned around to walk back to your room, you were met with three faces right in front of you. so naturally, you screamed.

"Y/N WHAT THE FUCK???" all 3 of your friends screamed at once.

"oh. my. god. yunjin you were here the whole time?" you thought she was with keeho.

"well duh!! i wanted to hear all the details when you came back from dinner with hyunjin but apparently you guys had other plans." she crossed her arms.

"yea y/n, other plans. such as dying his hair." haerin also crossed her arms.

"and kissing him." now hanni crossed her arms.

"ugh guys it's not that big of a deal, come sit down. i'll explain everything"

───────────────────────────────

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[444princesa]

how to build a daily routine

its important to have a routine and stick to it. my routines give me a good start to my day and de-stresses me at night.

AM routine:

wake up at least 2 hrs before you need to leave to give ourself time and not be in a rush

oral hygiene

AM skincare routine

shower if you are a morning showerer

make breakfast

habits you could incorporate

not go on your phone for the first hour of waking

drink water as soon as you wake up

oil pull

read for 25 minutes

pray

stretch

workout

meditate

journal

make a to do list

during the day i advise to make a to do list if you havent already. if you get overwhelmed easily or cant keep on track then list three things on your to do list and focus on those. once you finish, list three more things and continue until you are done with everything.

i also think time blocking can be good use. especially if you dont know where to start and again cant keep on track.

give yourself breaks and make sure you block out time to eat and hydrate as well.

PM routine:

eat dinner

oral hygiene

PM skincare routine

clean/tidy your space

change into pj's

shower if you are a night showerer

name 3 things you are grateful for

habits you could incorporate:

sleepy time tea

stretch

read

pray

watch a movie or show

do a face mask

drink a warm drink

plan your next day

name 3 things you are grateful for different than the morning

i advise to sleep for 8 hrs every night. try to wake up and sleep at the same time everyday day. i think a morning routine should be relaxing but give you energy while your night time routine should relax you and wind you down. both routines should be relaxing because waking up stress and your cortisol levels high is not a great way to start the day and ending it stressful is also not so great.

[wise-lizard-wizard]

thoughts on dino squad? (2007)

(btw it’s episodic. You can watch it in any order tbh (first episode is titled ‘the beginning’))

I absolutely adore it!

I run the account Victor-Veloci-Simp-69.

I've been thinking about linking it to my Main, purely bc when I reblog and reply on posts, it shows my main, so it seems like I don't interact with people as my DS account, which makes me sad because it feels like I might be interpreted as standoffish? But I never have time, and it feels insignificant to do so.

I watched the show when I was a kid, then rediscovered it a couple of years ago, and now every few years I rewatch it.

Its not Technically a "good" show but eh. I love it.

I think the reason why I'm so obsessed with the show is because (This going to get so long, I am so sorry, I have so many thoughts)

There are so much that is just never adressed. I have so many thoughts. There is so much to expand on, so many AUs that are there for the imagining.

I genuinely like the episodes. The plot is genuinely so much fun. The why's of these plots is...questionable. The how's is fun tho.

IT IS SO INCONSISTENT! Okay, not part of why I like it, but Ahhhhhhhhh. None of it makes sense. The characterization changes literally seconds apart!!!!! WHAT!!!!!

JUST FROM EPISODE 1: WHY IS BUZZ DEPICTED AS AN ANIMAL LOVER AND THEN GOES "NAH, I'M NOT SAVING THE DOG FROM DROWNING". This happens seconds Apart!!!!

Why does Roger act indifferent about the assignment and then say "we should work together on this assignment" and Care about the assignment. SECONDS APART!!!!!

THEN THERE'S THE ANIMATION! OH MY GOD. At 4:21, Caruso is shown barefoot. At 4:25 HE HAS SHOES ON.

Ms Moynihan after they get mutated goes: "I told u not to go into the water" NO YOU DIDN'T. YOU NEVER SAID THAT. WHY R U LYING.

(Okay, so she could have said that off screen,I'll give it a pass, but also Literally No Where was that message implied to have been said before she stated that. Also, that implies that she knows Veloci is regularly dumping shit in the water.)

Also, Veloci injects Peter in episode 1 and this is just...never adressed again? What does that do to Peter, besides his eyes changing? THERE IS NO EFFECT WHAT DOES IT DO, I DON’T REMEMBER SEEING THE GUY EVER AGAIN WHAT!!! WHY DID VELOCI DO THAT.

Since Peter was injected with the Ooze, but Veloci is looking for his "perfect dinosaurs", then that inplies Peter is a failed dino. What happened to him? I am in hysterics. What. DOES VELOCI JUST HAVE LIKE A BUNCH OF STAFF THAT ARE FAILED DINOS!!!? I HAVE QUESTIONS!!!

I AM....AHHHHHHHHHHHH....I am so normal about this hahahaha.

Which is probably why it sticks in my head so much. Any media I get obsessed with usually has some aspect that makes me want to rip apart a chair with my teeth. Half the fun is telling my friend about the thing that makes me choke in frustration/rage. I like ranting. Its part of the fun to me.

4) I love the animation style.

5) I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS, I AM CLAWING AT MY ENCLOSURE, HOW!!! HOW DID VELOCI AND MS M SURVIVE IN THAT CAVE???? WHERE THEY SLEEPING FOR MILLIONS OF YEARS??? IF SO, HOW WHERE THEY NEVER DISCOVERED BY HUMANS IN ALL THAT TIME?

AT WHAT POINT DID THEY AWAKEN? THROUGH WHAT TIME PERIODS HAVE THEY LIVED? HOW DID THEY EXPIERIENCE WORLD WAR 1? WORLD WAR 2? ALL THE TRAGEDIES? How did they get from point A to point B????

How did they get to their current lives?

There is so much that remains a mystery. And with the large amounts of time Veloci and Ms M had, there is so much thats just. Not there. There are so many gaps to fill. There are so many AUs that can happen. And with the inconsistencies, there are so many places where I can't image the characters are anything but either unreliable or maybe even straight up lying...

Oh, and that's the other thing:

5) They are all, and I mean every single character, Major Assholes. The assholiest. Their only consistent character trait is being an asshole. I love it.

Anyway, I am sooooi normal about this show. So normal.

Also, very important! I love your dinosquad posts!!!! They're really cool, and I love seeing you in the fandom! Just. Feel really gushy about your posts. Also, I always feel really happy when I see you liked one of my Dinosquad posts. Its a small fandom, so I always feel like I'm talking into a void.

I have more thoughts, but this post has gotte really long as is lmao. I am so sorry.

This ask meant a lot to me, so thanks ♥.

[mybeautifulchristianjourney]

Jonah Disobeys God and Flees

1 So the word of the Lord came to Jonah son of Amittai: 2 “Get up. Go to Nineveh, the great city, and preach against it, for its people’s evil way has come up before me.”

3 But Jonah set out to flee to Tarshish, away from the presence of the Lord. He went down to Joppa and found a ship going to Tarshish. He paid the fare and boarded the ship to go with them to Tarshish, away from the presence of the Lord.

4 But the Lord hurled a great wind onto the sea, and there was such a great storm on the sea that the ship was about to break apart. 5 The sailors were afraid, and each one cried out to his gods. They threw the ship’s cargo into the sea to lighten the ship’s load.

Jonah had gone down into the hold of the ship. He was lying down and sleeping soundly. 6 The captain approached him and said, “How can you be sleeping so soundly? Get up and call on your god! Maybe your god will treat us with favor so that we will not perish.”

7 Then the sailors said to each other, “Come on, let’s cast lots so that we can find out whose fault it is that this disaster has come to us.” So they cast lots, and the lot fell on Jonah.

8 So they said to him, “Please tell us whose fault it is that this disaster has come to us! What is your occupation? Where do you come from? What is your country? What people are you from?”

9 He answered, “I am a Hebrew, and I fear the Lord, the God of Heaven, who made the sea and the dry land.”

10 Then the men were terrified and said to him, “What have you done?” The men already knew that he was fleeing from the presence of the Lord, because he had told them so.

11 Then, because the storm on the sea kept getting worse, they said to him, “What should we do to you, to quiet the sea that is raging against us?”

12 He said to them, “Pick me up and throw me into the sea. Then the sea will calm down for you, for I know that this violent storm striking against you has come about because of me.”

13 Instead, the men rowed hard to return the ship to dry land, but they could not, because the storm on the sea kept getting worse for them. 14 So they cried out to the Lord and said, “Please, Lord, please do not let us perish because of this man’s life, and do not charge innocent blood against us, for you, Lord, have done as you pleased.” 15 So they picked Jonah up and threw him into the sea, and the sea stopped its raging. 16 Then the men feared the Lord greatly, and they offered a sacrifice to the Lord and made vows.

17 Then the Lord provided a large fish to swallow Jonah, and Jonah was in the belly of the fish three days and three nights. — Jonah 1 | Evangelical Heritage Version (EHV) The Holy Bible, Evangelical Heritage Version®, EHV®, © 2019 Wartburg Project, Inc. All rights reserved. Cross References: Genesis 10:11; Genesis 14:13; Genesis 47:3; Exodus 1:15; Numbers 32:23; Deuteronomy 21:8; Joshua 7:19; 2 Samuel 12:22; 2 Samuel 24:17; 1 Chronicles 21:17; Job 27:22; Psalm 50:14; Psalm 65:7; Psalm 66:13-14; Psalm 93:3-4; Psalm 107:23; Psalm 107:25; Psalm 107:28; Psalm 115:3; Jonah 2:10; Matthew 12:39; Matthew 12:40-41; Matthew 16:4; Acts 1:23; Acts 9:36; Acts 9:38; Acts 27:18-19

[pretty-chaotic-world]

if my BPD can scream

1. I wish i could have a normal love... but no, my brain wants to worship every little detail of you until it drives me insane

2. sorry i pushed you away i felt abandoned and suicidal 

3. I’m sick of going to bed and knowing things won’t be better tomorrow 

4. I'll ask you thousands times if you really love, please don't get annoyed

5. I'll create "drama" and mishaps only to feel like I'm in home

6. i’m afraid that one day my anger will overshadow the little love i still have left for the world

7. I feel numb. No tears, no anger, nothing. Just going through the same day again and again. I would rather just sleep without waking up.

8. I'm so tired of everytime one small argument or inconvenience breaks out I want to end it and self destruct, it's so draining. 

9. I want to stop feeling anything and when i actually don't it breaks my heart but I can't cry it out.

10. "its all in your head" well duh where tf else is it gonna be??? in my fucking kidneys????

11. I am constantly between wanting people to care about me and wanting them not to so I can hurt myself without feeling guilty 

12. Psychiatrist told me there is no cure for bpd and I've to change myself. Well why cant they just let me die then?

13. Until you live with bpd you'll never know what it's like to be too much and not enough at the same time.

14. i know im constantly too much for everyone but sometimes i just want to be enough for someone

15. if he will leave me, my next diagnosis will be of "sociopath"

16. im so jealous of all the people who see him and touch him and talk to him every single day it should be me me me me 

17. oh I got my hair coloured. why? because I can't hurt myself anymore 

18. "you're so distant" because you can't handle my abandonment issues.

19. My younger self disappoint me a lot. like why were you begging people to stay in your life? ohh no worries I know the answer

20. I wanna throw a plate against the wall, stab a knife through my hand, destroy my laptop with a hammer, smash my door in with an axe and spray graffiti all over the walls of my room 

21. Why shouldn’t I be mad? Why can’t I just be angry and be allowed to feel it? Why can’t I burn everything down?

22. I have to watch my mouth every fucking second to make sure I don't destroy every relation I have coz apparently social life matters!!

23. Isnt it fucked up how he got away with every horrible thing he made me experience and I’m the one who has to live with myself feeling absolutely fucking worthless 

24. I don't deserve food and love. im a horrible person.

25. this is how my eating cycle goes

feeling weak coz i haven't ate anything -> eat -> purge -> feeling guilty after purging -> eat more -> feeling guilty after eating so much -> cry coz you don't know what's happening

26. the diagnosis makes me believe I'm not insane just lil emo ig!! NOOOO YOU'RE INSANE

27. “don’t let it bother u” baby i’m gonna be bothered by this for the next 10 years 

28. if I tell you I love you its equivalent to I can kill someone for you

29. Actually upon further inspection that shit really hurt my feelings 

30. I don't dive into insecurity anymore, i drown in self-loathe

31. i shut up in between group convo coz I know I'll talk invaluable shit and nobody really cares what I say until it's psychology class

32. "if you are fully aware of yourself, why do you keep acting like that?" slapping self awareness on top of bpd only grants the ability to watch yourself self-destruct straight from the vip section thats all it does literally

33. “Where do you see yourself in the future” building a cult for mentally ill people 

34. ofc I've a praise kind i was ignored as a child

35. I'm much better than I was before. you know why coz I don't to air now and don't see monsters walking by side all the time

36. No I don't want to self harm anymore I need to kill that fucking monster

37. Don't mind me, I'm just casually sabotaging all my positive relationships with negative delusions because my life doesn't feel real unless something dramatic and destructive is constantly occurring 

38. i don’t care i don’t care i don’t care (im going to sob my fucking eyes out)

39. “Stop making your disorder your personality” I have a fucking personality disorder for god sake

40. turning my mental illnesses into kinks and calling it the BDSM-5 

41. "destroy something precious while you're in rage" ohh yeaa and then I'll do that again and again 

42. what I hate most about my BPD is the fact that I have started doubting every emotion that I’ve ever felt in my life, whether it’s love, my grief through multiple traumas, or my anger, & it’s so saddening. It has actually led me to start questioning my reality.

43. if I need medication to stay alive, am I really meant to be here?

44. it's either be alone without 75% of my symptoms, or be with someone and display the most horrendous unstable awful version of myself. why do i have to choose between love & happiness or peace & stability?

45. That fucking bpd rage where everyone's voices makes you want to scream and every noise around you makes you want to sh and you're so mad you can almost feel the cuts everywhere 

46. getting worked up to the point of becoming physically ill (throwing up/stomach issues etc) because you felt rejected/abandoned by your favourite person  

47. i wish my trauma made me kind as everyone says but i’m becoming what i fear the most- a monster.

48. imagine getting diagnosed with a personality disorder and the only visible representation of that disorder is an animated horse man, a sociopathic sitcom character from philadelphia, and darth vader

[the-chronicle-of-holy-days]

Day 19

Liber Liberi vel Lapidis Lazuli

VII

1. By the burning of the incense was the Word revealed, and by the distant drug.

2. O meal and honey and oil! O beautiful flag of the moon, that she hangs out in the centre of bliss!

3. These loosen the swathings of the corpse; these unbind the feet of Osiris, so that the flaming God may rage through the firmament with his fantastic spear.

4. But of pure black marble is the sorry statue, and the changeless pain of the eyes is bitter to the blind.

5. We understand the rapture of that shaken marble, torn by the throes of the crowned child, the golden rod of the golden God.

6. We know why all is hidden in the stone, within the coffin, within the mighty sepulchre, and we too answer Olalám! Imál! Tutúlu! as it is written in the ancient book.

7. Three words of that book are as life to a new aeon; no god has read the whole.

8. But thou and I, O God, have written it page by page.

9. Ours is the elevenfold reading of the Elevenfold word.

10. These seven letters together make seven diverse words; each word is divine, and seven sentences are hidden therein.

11. Thou art the Word, O my darling, my lord, my master!

12. O come to me, mix the fire and the water, all shall dissolve.

13. I await Thee in sleeping, in waking. I invoke Thee no more; for Thou art in me, O Thou who hast made me a beautiful instrument tuned to Thy rapture.

14. Yet art Thou ever apart, even as I.

15. I remember a certain holy day in the dusk of the year, in the dusk of the Equinox of Osiris, when first I beheld Thee visibly; when first the dreadful issue was fought out; when the Ibis-headed One charmed away the strife.

16. I remember Thy first kiss, even as a maiden should. Nor in the dark byways was there another: Thy kisses abide.

17. There is none other beside Thee in the whole Universe of Love.

18. My God, I love Thee, O Thou goat with gilded horns!

19. Thou beautiful bull of Apis! Thou beautiful serpent of Apep! Thou beautiful child of the Pregnant Goddess!

20. Thou hast stirred in Thy sleep, O ancient sorrow of years! Thou hast raised Thine head to strike, and all is dissolved into the Abyss of Glory.

21. An end to the letters of the words! An end to the sevenfold speech.

22. Resolve me the wonder of it all into the figure of a gaunt swift camel striding over the sand.

23. Lonely is he, and abominable; yet hath he gained the crown.

24. Oh rejoice! rejoice!

25. My God! O my God! I am but a speck in the star-dust of ages; I am the Master of the Secret of Things.

26. I am the Revealer and the Preparer. Mine is the Sword — and the Mitre and the Wingèd Wand!

27. I am the Initiator and the Destroyer. Mine is the Globe — and the Bennu bird and the Lotus of Isis my daughter!

28. I am the One beyond these all; and I bear the symbols of the mighty darkness.

29. There shall be a sigil as of a vast black brooding ocean of death and the central blaze of darkness, radiating its night upon all.

30. It shall swallow up that lesser darkness.

31. But in that profound who shall answer: What is?

32. Not I.

33. Not Thou, O God!

34. Come, let us no more reason together; let us enjoy! Let us be ourselves, silent, unique, apart.

35. O lonely woods of the world! In what recesses will ye hide our love?

36. The forest of the spears of the Most High is called Night, and Hades, and the Day of Wrath; but I am His captain, and I bear His cup.

37. Fear me not with my spearmen! They shall slay the demons with their petty prongs. Ye shall be free.

38. Ah, slaves! ye will not — ye know not how to will.

39. Yet the music of my spears shall be a song of freedom.

40. A great bird shall sweep from the abyss of Joy, and bear ye away to be my cup-bearers.

41. Come, O my God, in one last rapture let us attain to the Union with the Many!

42. In the silence of Things, in the Night of Forces, beyond the accursèd domain of the Three, let us enjoy our love!

43. My darling! My darling! away, away beyond the Assembly and the Law and the Enlightenment unto an Anarchy of solitude and Darkness!

44. For even thus must we veil the brilliance of our Self.

45. My darling! My darling!

46. O my God, but the love in Me bursts over the bonds of Space and Time; my love is spilt among them that love not love.

47. My wine is poured out for them that never tasted wine.

48. The fumes thereof shall intoxicate them and the vigour of my love shall breed mighty children from their maidens.

49. Yea! without draught, without embrace: — and the Voice answered Yea! these things shall be.

50. Then I sought a Word for Myself; nay, for myself.

51. And the Word came: O Thou! it is well. Heed naught! I love Thee! I love Thee!

52. Therefore had I faith unto the end of all; yea, unto the end of all.

[dolldeath-888]

𝓒𝓗𝓐𝓟𝓣𝓔𝓡 𝓝𝓞. 2

24 October 1994, Brooklyn, NY

It’s 3:45 in the morning, Sebastian rushes like a cheetah to his door with still his heart beating intensely in his chest and sweat running all over his body. He seals the door by turning the key many times in the lock and using the latch, being able to be more calm and catch a breath from the long run that had gone through. Maybe it was a good option to climb the stairs of his house and get under the covers with your head on the pillow, now that the cloth wraps him feels warm and safe... or at least for now, remembering the threat of Thorn that echoes in his mind even before falling into deep sleep the few hours left to sleep and dream. Sebastian’s vision begins to change from the black pitch of the closed eyelids, some white, red, yellow, green are added that swirl and form images slowly.

He’s going to dream, the scenery begins to appear vivid. The first thing you notice is a distorted light like the rest flaming, the bonfire, women reciting incomprehensible prayers. Again no. In the whole distorted image the only clear form are initially well visible red eyes that come closer and closer to the visual, the proximity begins to expose a pale female face with fresh familiar features, those of Thorn. Delicate hands with long nails dyed in dark red barely touch the clothes of Sebastian’s dreamlike body before he can subconsciously run just as he did in reality, the deeper he gets into the forest, The more the image becomes distorted and confusing and resembles a totally black gap, like the void. After a few seconds he finds himself wrapped in total black in solitude, the void, at least he thought he was alone, of shot the figure of Thorn appears before his face soaked with anger. The surroundings of the dream Thorn are filled with a visible aura mainly crimson as blood, hands finally take him with a strong grip, she is ready to talk to him. Her voice is cold, full of feminine depth, decision, anger contained by herself.

ーI see that you gave me the right attention only the first minutes after my words but then go to sleep in peace pretending nothing, dear. You didn’t understand me. I’m not a fool who makes empty promises and then leaves you alone, for nothing. What you have done is grave and you deserve to be frightened and panicked by my presence that will haunt you for eternity and always have its breath on your neck. Remember every second you breathe on this earth my words: I will persecute you to the last, I swear it on my own soul.

The sound of the alarm clock, which indicated 8:00 am, interrupts sleep, the gaze turns to the calendar, on the sheet of October 1994, looks at 25 and is more relieved when he sees that it’s Sunday and can stay at home or go out in freedom but still a little anguished by the knowledge that the next day he should go to his college as every day of each week. He certainly can’t stay staring at the ceiling all day, so he stretches his body and with not much desire, comes down from bed, heading with heavy and drowsy steps to the stairs leading to the living-kitchen. He cooks something fast to prepare and then goes to the bathroom to get ready. She washes her face with cold water to wake up well, brushes her black hair without leaving a knot in it, quickly heads for the kitchen to remove the breakfast from cooking before it burns and serves it on a plate. He eats quietly while watching television and then goes up to the room opening the wardrobe doors. He wears a black and white Nirvana shirt, a black leather jacket, a belt, worn-out black jeans and black high boots and then takes his keys to the house and goes outside.

He loves the cloudy and cloudy days from the darkened sky like that, even Sebastian himself did not know why he had gone out, maybe wanted to find something entertaining after having passed the scene of last night and the dream. He was thinking of stopping by the city’s Music Center to buy a new electric bass, so he walks down the street and when he gets in he comes into the place feeling the cold air coming from the fans attached to the ceiling. Sebastian was friends with the Music Center worker, Ethan, who immediately looks over from the desk he worked at and jokingly greets him.

ーHey Sebastian, are you here to buy really yet another bass or playing scrocco and not buying anything?

Sebastian laughs and responds.

ーNo Ethan, I will not play... maybe... pretend you did not listen to that but I swear this time I intend to buy!

The worker smiles and lets him explore the shop. Sebastian looks at a green and black bass, like the colors of his favorite band, Type O Negative, he likes. He takes a supply of spare ropes and goes to the cashier to pay for them. He greets Ethan as he goes out with his bass in the case that he has on his shoulder, now where can he go? Perhaps in a cafeteria, something to drink would please him. The place has two large dark wood doors with a glass window on top, a black background billboard and a crimson red cursive writing that makes "Midnight On", all the exterior and the whole apparently of glasses with a very gothic theme. Enter the room: black parquet, white lanterns hanging from the ceiling built like that of a gothic cathedral, dark wood walls with shelves and well-made details, black chairs with crimson strokes, The black tables decorated with elegant tablecloths red blood. Sebastian heads to a table while listening to the goth music played by the club, takes in his hands the menu of the place and reads it while thinking with indecision what to take.

After a few minutes he has in his hand the drink he ordered, drinking it calmly while holding his legs crossed and leaning on the chair on the other side of the table. Suddenly, after drinking the drink, he starts to feel a slight cramp in his stomach but initially ignores it thinking it was just an impression that is being created in his mind. The pain becomes stronger and more intense, like a knife that slowly pierces his stomach while the blood gushes out, he holds on to the table while bending in two while resting his head on the table. With difficulty he gets up from his chair and runs to the exit of the local, opens the door of the taxi nearby and enters while the taxi driver seems confused by the painful situation of Sebastian.

ーGo to Batweb Street 69, hurry please! It’s urgent!

The taxi driver immediately turns with his view on the steering wheel of the car and with his foot presses the pedal to accelerate and start the car. In a few minutes, for Sebastian of pure suffering, the taxi is in front of his house on the street indicated by him. He opens the door of the taxi, and runs to his front door. He puts the key in the lock and turns it as fast as he can, then pushes the door with the little force his body allowed. As soon as he sets foot in his home a feeling of peace flows through his body, but not to be at his home, but because as soon as he entered the pains have stopped. They are gone. It was strange that a drink not even alcoholic with nothing special inside had caused him cramps of the kind and then as soon as he enters his house suddenly and without any explanation, they disappear into thin air, But it was already better to feel that deep and painful heartbeat in the stomach again. Sebastian walks lightly to the bathroom to cool off a bit and what he finds gives an explanation of everything that had happened strange to him until now.

"Now that you’ve seen my skills I think you understand what posse do and that these are real warnings, aren’t they?"

This is what the still fresh blood on the mirror reads as the point of question mark drips slowly down the base of the mirror and drops slowly into the sink. He is very worried and surprised to realize all that happened and stares intensely at the mirror, the only noise you can hear in the room is just the breath of Sebastian and the dripping of blood from the writing. There’s a noise coming from the hallway behind Sebastian.

Boom.

⊱───────────────── {.⋅ 🕸️ ⋅.} ────────────────── ⊰

[smellmytenderthoughts]

Grief posting..

2/25/24

I don't want to be mad at everything, but I am. I'm mad that you got taken away so early, that you were robbed of your life so early by some pathetic fucking scum of a pathetic low life piece of shit that thinks it's okay to slip someone some Fentanyl..So yes, unfortunately right now I'm fucking heated. I will find out who did this, and that should be the least of their worries, we will let whatever happens, happen. Than maybe, we can call this sick fucking escapade, even and dealt with? Not by a fucking long shot though...I don't want to be sad that you're gone, but I haven't lost a sibling in 20 years. When we first lost our brother in '04, I was only 8 years old and I feel the same frustration that the Willamette River stole my brother, like this fentanyl freak stole my sister from this earth.. Erin, I brought Bella home last night. I've been fairly restless, I'm just glad that she's snoring away and getting some sleep. I broke down, again, and held bella tight, because she's one of the closest things I had to you... I miss you more than words can describe, my heart has been really heavy. I don't know when I will feel better or how long it will take me to come back from this, if there's even a "coming back from this"... I just wish that this were a shitty dream that I could wake up from, because I would come over and give you a really big fucking hug and it would probably annoy you, and I would cry a fucking river into your shoulders.. I don't know how many ways I can express how I miss you, there are a lot... Erin, we had so much in common and it's only become more and more clear. Maybe it isn't quite so much the things we have in common, but lately I've been seeing a lot of things that remind me of you. Heart shaped objects in everyday things like paintings, clouds in the sky, the way the sun sets with its vibrant oranges and yellows, songs we used to listen to coming back across my Spotify, or the way the moon has been setting full for the last 5 days. I know there's a reason all this is happening, and I'd like to believe that reason is you, sis. You had SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR. This isn't fair, at all.💔I spent like $50 on some grief books. I havent read a damn book in years, maybe it'll do me some good to learn some shit, maybe this will help? I hope it does. 🥴

[whimsicallyenchantedrose]

Christmas Reruns 2023 Day 12: Eli the Elf

Merry Christmas if you celebrate it and happy holidays if you don’t!  One of the things I love about Christmas is watching reruns of all the old classic Christmas movies–Christmas is a big time for nostalgia.  A few years ago, I decided to incorporate that tradition into my fandom life and post my CS holiday reruns.  So here you go!  Enough holiday (mostly) fluff to get you to New Year’s Day. (With a new story posting on Christmas Day.)

Rating: G

Word Count: 5394

Other chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32

Note:  This fic was originally written for Fluffy Fridays in 2019

Emma collapsed onto the sofa in her living room.  Being the parent of a rambunctious, mischievous three-year-old was not for the faint of heart, that was for sure.  Not that she’d change her crazy life for anything.  Emma loved Hope Swan-Jones with all her heart.  After all the months and even years she and Killian had tried for a baby with no success, there was no doubt that Hope was their miracle, their second chance, their opportunity to be a family.   

As Emma’s maternity leave had neared its end, Emma and Killian had come to the decision that they wanted to be there for and with their daughter every hour of the day.  Daycare simply wasn’t an option for them, so they’d come to an arrangement: they’d trade off days.  One day Emma went into the station and Killian stayed home with Hope, and the next day they swapped.

Lately, it seemed like Emma was far more tired at the end of her days with Hope than she was at the end of her days as the sheriff.  Who would have thought those early months where Hope barely slept would actually end up being the easy parts of parenting? 

Hope was a good girl, sweet, affectionate, smart as a whip, but she was also the daughter of a pirate.  Seemed like Emma couldn’t turn around for a second without Hope making another mess or getting onto some sort of mischief. 

Emma let herself succumb to sleep while Killian put Hope to bed–no doubt with a thrilling, overly dramatic bedtime story, like he did nearly every night.  Hope adored his tales…and everything else about her Papa.  Emma knew her daughter loved her, but there was no doubt she was a daddy’s girl.

 The couch dipped beside her, waking Emma abruptly.

 “My apologies love,” Killian said, “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

Emma yawned before settling into Killian’s waiting arms.  “Don’t worry about it.  I was just kind of resting my eyes.  Don’t want to sleep through the evening when we finally get to have a little alone time.”

Killian brushed a kiss against the crown of her head and tightened his arms around her.  “I worry about you love.  You’ve been so tired lately.  Are you sure nothing’s amiss?”

Emma kissed him gently.  “I’m fine, Killian, I promise.  Guess I’m just having a tougher time navigating life as a working parent than I thought I would.”

“Are you sure…?”

“I am,” she said decisively.  “It’s just, we have a very busy, active toddler on our hands.  I love her like you would not believe, but by the end of the day, I’m so tired I feel like I could sleep standing up.”

Killian’s brow furrowed.  “The lass is three now, old enough to begin to understand consequences.  Perhaps we should begin discussing disciplinary tactics.”

“You know, I was thinking about that today,” Emma said, settling against Killian’s chest and resting her hand over his heart, loving the comfort his softly thumping heartbeat gave her.

 “Christmas is coming up in a couple of weeks, and I thought maybe we could make use of some of the traditions to convince her to work on her behavior.”

“Swan, if you’re referring to that Santa Claus fellow, I’m not entirely sure I approve,” Killian said, voice sternly disapproving.

Emma laughed.  “You are morally opposed to Santa Claus?  Why?”

“One cannot seem to patronize any establishment in this town without hearing his song,” Killian said, “He sees you when you’re sleeping.  He knows when you’re awake.  He knows if you’ve been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake.  Swan, this Santa fellow sounds like one of the worst villains we’ve faced yet.”

Emma laughed again.  “Killian it’s just a song, and it’s all in fun.  Kids love Santa.  He’s the one who brings them presents.”

Emma could see in Killian’s face that he wasn’t convinced.

“Anyway,” she continued, “that’s not what I was talking about, not really.  There’s this other tradition parents do sometimes.  Called Elf on the Shelf.  You get this toy elf, and the idea is that it watches the kids and kind of reports to Santa.  Each night the parents move the elf, so it’s like it’s alive.  The fun of it is that the kid never knows where the elf is going to show up next.  Plus, knowing there’s an elf watching you, well, it’s extra incentive to be on your best behavior.”

“Are you daft, Swan?” Killian exclaimed.  “This ‘Elf on the Shelf’ sounds, if possible, even more horrifying than Santa Claus!  I’d rather not traumatize our daughter.” 

“Would you stop being such a drama queen?” Emma asked, laughter still evident in her voice.  “I promise you it’s all in fun.  This isn’t some Christmasy ‘scare the kid straight’ thing.   Kids love it.  It brings the magic of Christmas to life.” 

Killian was clearly still skeptical, but finally conceded.  “Very well, Swan.  We’ll try this Elf on the Shelf, but if it gives Hope nightmares, I must put my foot down.”

“Relax babe,” Emma said.  “If the elf gives Hope nightmares, I’ll personally lock it in our dungeon. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

The next morning 

Killian stepped into Granny’s and made a b-line for the large booth at the back of the establishment, seeing David and Rogers already present. 

After the realms had combined, Dave had suggested he and Killian get together with Rogers, as the town decided to continue referring to his alternate reality version, to help him get adjusted to life in Storybrooke.  This get together quickly became a weekly thing.

Emma referred to their weekly breakfasts as the “brot3 convention.”  Killian hadn’t a clue what that might mean, but the phrase brought a delighted smile to Swan’s face, and that was enough to make Killian adopt the language.  There was very little he wouldn’t do to make his wife smile. 

“Hey Killian! Good to see you,” David said. 

Killian noted the fatigue in his father-in-law’s eyes and the yawn he was attempting to stifle. 

“The lass keep you up last night?” he asked sympathetically.

David and Mary Margaret’s daughter Ava was quickly approaching her first birthday.  She’d come as a surprise to the couple who’d believed their family was complete after the birth of Neal, but she was a very welcome and loved surprise. 

“Yeah,” David said, and then took a bracing sip of his coffee.  “She was up every two hours last night.” 

“I thought you said she’d finally begun sleeping through the night,” Rogers said. 

“She did,” David said, “but I think she’s teething.  Runny nose, running a bit of a fever, wanting to chew on everything.” 

Both Hooks nodded in understanding and sympathy.  “I don’t miss those days with my Alice,” Rogers said.   

Their conversation was put on hold as a waitress, wearing a festive Santa hat and necklace made of Christmas lights, took their order. 

“So how about you, Killian?” David asked after the waitress walked away, “How’s everything going with your family?” 

Killian frowned.  “I must admit, I’m a bit concerned about Emma.  She’s been so exhausted lately and a couple of times she’s gotten dizzy.  She insists it’s nothing, but I’m near to insisting she visit Doctor Whale.”

“Tired and feeling faint?” David asked.  “Any other issues?”

“It was the strangest thing,” Killian said, furrowing his brow.  “This morning I attempted to serve her her customary PopTart for breakfast, but she insisted she couldn’t stomach it.  She actually asked for boiled mackerel and grapefruit.” 

“Tired, feeling faint, and with significant changes in appetite,” David listed off.  To Killian’s surprise (and consternation) a grin covered his father-in-law’s face.  “I think Emma’s right.  I think you have nothing to worry about.” 

“Other than life getting significantly busier in eight or nine months,” Rogers said with a grin identical to David’s. 

It took Killian a moment to put the dots together, but then his eyes widened.  “You think Emma could be with child?” 

“I have very little experience with these things, my own daughter’s birth being so very….unorthodox,” Rogers said, “but it certainly seems possible.” 

Killian felt the joy bubble up in him.  Another child!  He and Swan may have another child.  It was a blessing he hadn’t even allowed himself to wish for, given the difficulties they’d had conceiving Hope. 

“I suppose there was that one weekend away we had just before Thanksgiving,” Killian said slowly, “when Alice and Robin stayed with Hope.  We did engage in copious amounts of intimate activities…” 

Rogers barked out a laugh and David groaned, reminding Killian of just how much his father-in-law did not want to hear the specifics. 

Breakfast was a joyous affair following the pregnancy speculation, the three men discussing their lives over the past week. 

Killian walked home with an extra spring in his step.  This Christmas was shaping up to be one of the best he’d ever had. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Grandma, what do you think about putting the wreath here?” Lucy asked, holding the Disney’s Captain Hook themed wreath against their front door. 

Emma laughed.  “Looks great kid.  It’ll get a good natured grumble out of your gramps every time he walks by.”

It was still weird to get used to being called Grandma, but Emma’s heart warmed at the thought that Henry was back to stay and that she’d have the chance to get to know her daughter-in-law and granddaughter in a way she’d missed out on over the first decade of Lucy’s life.

Lucy laughed, turning to Charming to ask him to hammer a nail for her so she could hang the wreath.

It had become a Christmastime tradition since the merging of the realms.  The whole family got together to decorate each other’s houses and then have dinner together.  This weekend, a mere two weeks before Christmas, it was the Swan-Jones household’s turn to host (and get decorated). 

Emma took a step back, watching as her family, her whole, big boisterous extended family worked to make her home look like something out of the Hallmark channel.  Regina and Zelena stood by the impressively large pine tree stringing garland, Alice, Robin and Rogers worked to make the hearth festive, Henry, Jacinda, Killian and her dad were braving the frigid temperatures outside to string lights on the bushes and the front of the house, Neal was occupying Hope in the playroom, Ava napped in the nursery and Snow worked away in the kitchen on what Emma was sure would be an amazing dinner. 

It was the type of scene you’d see in one of those cheesy Christmas movies.  Happy family enjoying each other’s company while they decorate for Christmas and listen to carols.  It was even picture perfect outside, with the snow gently falling. 

It was perfect, and Emma loved every minute of it.

While Hope was occupied with Neal, Emma grabbed the elf on the shelf, looking around for the perfect place to move him.  Maybe she’d put him in Hope’s room tonight. 

Emma wasn’t sure if the elf was all that effective as a disciplinary tool.  She hadn’t noticed a significant lessening of mischief since she and Killian had introduced “Eli the Elf”, but Hope certainly seemed delighted in looking for him every morning. 

And the joy on her daughter’s face was really what was most important, when it came down to it.  It was Christmas, the time for child-like wonder. 

Emma wandered into the kitchen, pausing for a moment and taking stock of her stomach.  Seemed like smells nauseated her at the drop of a hat lately—one of the main reasons her mom had offered to make the meal for their get together (the other being neither she nor Killian could cook worth a damn).  Emma sighed in relief when she noticed the smells elicited hunger rather than nausea. 

“Anything I can help you with, mom?” 

Snow turned from the stove where she was stirring something as it bubbled merrily away.  “You sure you’re feeling up to it?  I know how rough it can be in the early months.” 

Emma gave her mom an assessing look, subconsciously placing a protective hand over her belly.  “You know, don’t you?” 

Snow abandoned the pot on the stove and rushed over to give Emma a warm, motherly hug.  “About the baby?  Your father told when he came home from the last brot3 convention.  Oh Emma!  I’m so excited for you and Killian!  Is it official?  Do you know for sure?” 

Emma felt the familiar mix of anticipation, joy and fear bubble up inside her.  After his last breakfast with the guys, Killian had come home with a smile on his face. 

“What’s up with you?” she’d asked.  “I haven’t seen you so excited since they had that buy one get one special on rum at The Rabbit Hole.”

Killian had led her to the couch.  “It’s been some time since your last monthly, hasn’t it?”

 “Uh…yeah.  I guess I’m a few days late.  Why?”

“I was talking to your father and Rogers…”

“You were talking to my father about my period?” she asked, brows furrowed. 

He laughed. “Of course not, love!  I merely mentioned your fatigue and appetite changes.”

“Okay…..” 

“Your father…” Killian said, taking her hand, “your father raised the possibility that there could be a very specific cause for your symptoms.  Love, is it possible you’re with child again?” 

Emma’s eyes had widened, the possibility not even entering her mind before he brought it up.   

“With child?  Killian, we haven’t even been trying.” 

“No, but we’ve also not not been trying,” he said. “And I can recall a few very satisfying encounters over the past few weeks that could have very well resulted in a new life…” 

Snow tapped Emma on the shoulder, and Emma realized she’d spaced out, her face flaming slightly as her mind went to a few of those “very satisfying encounters”.  Killian’s skills as a lover were ridiculous.  She’d really hit the jackpot. 

“Uh…sorry mom,” Emma said, “what were you saying?” 

“I was asking if you got it confirmed.” 

“No,” Emma said, thinking of the pregnancy test currently residing in their bathroom medicine cabinet.  “I’m a little afraid to take the pregnancy test, to be honest.” 

Snow led Emma to a chair at her dining room table and urged her to sit.  “Why, honey?” 

Emma shrugged.  “What if it’s negative?  I mean I have all the classic symptoms, and this is exactly how I felt with Hope, but….I mean, we had such a hard time getting pregnant with Hope. What if this is just some weird flu or something?  Killian and I are already excited about Baby Swan-Jones #2.  If it turns out he or she isn’t actually on the way…” 

Snow reached over and hugged Emma.  “For what it’s worth, from what your father told me, I really, really don’t think this is a false alarm, but if it is…” Snow shrugged. “Well if it is a false alarm, you and Killian can have lots of fun trying to make it a reality over the next few months.” 

“Mom!” Emma said. 

Snow shrugged again, a wicked grin on her face.  “Remember, I know how much you and Killian enjoy…pancakes.” 

Emma made her hasty exit, opting to check on the kids before her mother started talking about her own taco sessions with David.

Still, apart from the very uncomfortable thought of discussing her sex life with her mother, Snow had a point.  What did she and Killian have to lose?  She resolved she’d take the pregnancy test the very next day. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

The next afternoon, around nap time. 

Hope Swan-Jones was not happy.  

She wasn’t sleepy.  Why did Mama make her take naps?  Sleeping was no fun at all!  Uncle Neal didn’t have to take naps; why should she? 

She’d asked Mama that one day, and Mama said it was because Neal was twelve years old.  Twelve-year-olds didn’t have to take naps. 

Hope wished she was twelve.  Not three. 

Hope glanced over at the shelf high on the wall and noticed Eli the Elf peering down at her.  She stuck her small, pink tongue out at him.

“I’m not going to go to sleep,” she said rebelliously, “and I don’t care if you tell Santa!” 

Hope continued to look at Eli as her eyelids started getting heavy in spite of herself.  That was another thing.  Why didn’t Mama and Daddy ever let her play with Eli?  He was a doll just like the others she had in her play chest.  Why couldn’t she play with him?

Hope knew better than to leave her bed when Mama said to take a nap, but still, she reached out her hand as though to reach for the elf.  Suddenly she felt kind of funny, like there was something warm and bubbly just under her skin.  She watched in amazement as a beam of white light shot from her outstretched fingers, and suddenly Eli the Elf was zooming towards her, right into her arms. 

Did…did she have magic like Mama did? 

Maybe she should try again. 

She looked at the elf and then reached her hand out the way Mama did when she did magic.  “I want you to play with me, elf,” she whispered. 

The strange warm bubbly feeling happened again, and another burst of magic shot out.  

Suddenly Eli the Elf stood up on his own, blinked twice and then grinned at her in a way Daddy would have said meant trouble. 

“Eli the Elf at your service,” he said with a bow.  “So kid, you ready to have some fun?” 

Hope glanced toward the door, afraid Mama would hear.  “Shhhhhh!” she said. “We’re supposed to be asleep!” 

The elf rolled his eyes.  “Naps are for Grinches.  You’re not a Grinch, are you, kid?”

She shook her head no. 

“Good,” Eli said, “so here’s what I think we should do next….”

Eli the Elf went on to outline a plan of chaos that made Hope’s eyes widen.  Surely he wouldn’t dare! 

She shook her head.  “We can’t!  We’ll get in trouble!” 

“The threat of getting caught is half the fun,” Eli said, before jumping off the bed and making a dash for the partially opened door.  “I’m going to do it, whether you follow me or not.” 

Hope climbed out of bed and tiptoed to the door.   She had to stop him!  She was going to be in so much trouble! 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

That evening 

Killian closed Hope’s door and made his way down the stairs to the kitchen where he set about preparing a nice steaming mug of hot cocoa. 

He had a feeling Swan would need it after the day she’d had. 

Killian had come home from the station, smile on his lips and spring in his step…only to find the living room in shambles and Emma on the couch crying. 

He’d rushed to her.  “Swan!  What happened?  Are you hurt?  Is Hope alright?” 

Emma swiped at her cheeks and got to her feet.  “We’re fine, Killian,” she rushed to reassure, stepping into his arms and burying her face in his chest.  “It’s just…I’m so damn tired, and she was supposed to be napping, and I come downstairs, and…well, just look!” 

Emma gestured to the living room.  The bottom half of the Christmas tree was completely bare, the baubles that had previously adorned its branches were strewn over the floor, a couple of the delicate glass ones broken against the hearth. 

His eyes widened.  Hope had done this? 

“Swan, there must be some mistake,” he said, “Hope is mischievous, to be sure, but she’s never blatantly engaged in destruction and she loves our Christmas tree.” 

Emma collapsed on the couch, pulling him with her.  “She was in here, Killian,” Emma said, one fat tear of exhaustion rolling down her face.  “I caught her red-handed.  Literally.  She was holding that stupid red Santa ornament in her hand when I showed up.  When I asked her what she was doing, she lied to me. Lied right to my face.” 

“That doesn’t sound like my lass at all,” Killian said, his brow furrowing as he wrapped his wife in his comforting embrace.  “I’ve never known her to speak a falsehood.  What happened?” 

“She told me…get this…she told me Eli the Elf did it!  That damn elf on the shelf was lying on the ground next to the tree.  Not only did she disobey me and leave her room during naptime, she somehow got her hands on the elf, went on a tree destroying spree, and then lied to me.  Killian, I don’t even know what to do with her anymore!” 

Emma started crying in earnest, and Killian hugged her to him, rocking her slightly and caressing her hair.  “Where is the lass now, love?” 

“She’s in her room,” Emma said, voice thick with tears.  “I…Killian, I kind of lost my temper.  I raised my voice a little.  She looked so surprised and almost, I don’t know, betrayed.  I sent her to her room, because apparently I can’t parent worth a crap, but I wanted a chance to cool down before I said anything else to her that I might regret.” 

“Sh,” Killian said. “Emma you are a wonderful mother.  Never doubt that.  We all lose our temper and have moments we aren’t particularly proud of.  We’ll sort this out.  Together.” 

He’d stayed with Emma a few more moments, holding her as she cried, and then he’d gone to have a talk with Hope. 

Now, 20 minutes later, steaming mug of cocoa in hand, he returned to the Christmas carnage that was their living room. 

Emma took the cocoa with a grateful smile.  “How is she?”

Killian’s brow furrowed.  “She’s settled for the moment, and she seems quite apologetic over what happened.  What say we put this tree to rights, aye?” 

“Killian, you don’t have to…” she called after him as he began gathering discarded ornaments and placing them on the tree.  “I can just zap it with my magic…” 

“Nonsense, love,” he said, “you’re exhausted and at your wits end.  Rest, let me handle this.”

He made quick work of righting the tree as he heard Emma sigh behind him.  As he worked, his brow furrowed.  He knew Emma was upset after her difficult day with Hope, but he knew Emma Swan-Jones, perhaps better than she knew herself.  There was something else on her mind, something else that was causing her significant distress. 

Killian set the last bauble on the tree and then sat beside his wife, opening his arms and waiting for her to settle against him before he spoke. 

“Swan, I know when your heart is heavy,” he said.  “Share your burden with me.  What’s amiss?” 

“Well Hope…” 

He stopped her with a gentle finger to her lips.  “Aye, she’s been rather difficult today, but there’s more isn’t there?”

She glanced aside, before reaching for the small box on the coffee table and handing it to him.   

He glanced at it, noting it was one of those wands that could tell if a woman was with child. 

“Swan…?” 

“I…I thought I should take the test,” Emma said, voice thick, “you know, to make sure we’re really pregnant like we think we are.”

“But it’s still in its box unopened.” 

“Yeah,” she said, glancing aside.  “I wanted to wait for you to take it, and then…” 

“Then?” He prompted. 

“Well I got scared.” 

“Of what?” he said, hugging her to him, “what frightens you?” 

She was quiet for a moment, taking the test back, and turning the box over and over absent-mindedly.  “What if it’s negative?” 

Killian rubbed her back in a comforting motion.  “Swan, we’ll cross that bridge if we get to it.”

“But I know how excited you are already about this kid…What if…?” 

Killian stopped her with a soft kiss.  “Emma, I would be delighted to welcome a new wee pirate or princess into our home, but even if it doesn’t happen, even if it never happens, I will be perfectly contented.  I have a wife I adore, a daughter I love beyond measure, and a step son with a family to dote upon.” 

She sat up and looked carefully at him.  “Do you really mean that?” 

“Aye,” he said with a decisive nod.  “But I can see the toll this uncertainty is taking upon you.  Perhaps it’s best if we find out once and for all.”

Emma took a deep breath, seeming to steel herself for whatever was to come, and then she got to her feet, taking the box with her.  “Okay, I’m going to go take the test.  Wait here.” 

Emma padded to the powder room off the kitchen, emerging two minutes later, pregnancy test in hand. “Okay, babe, moment of truth,” she said, handing him the small, white wand.  “I can’t look.” 

Killian took a deep breath and then looked down. 

Two pink lines.

“Swan,” he said, smile suffusing his whole face, “it’s positive!” 

She reached for the device, looking for herself before letting out a joyful shout.  “Positive!  Killian, we’re gonna have a baby!” 

Killian got to his feet, enveloped her in his arms and swung her around, both of them laughing and crying.  Emma leaned down and captured Killian’s lips with her own, pouring all of her joy and relief into her kiss.  They collapsed back onto the couch, the kiss continuing as they smiled against each other’s lips. 

Suddenly a shout pierced through their haze of love and happiness.  A shout coming from the direction of Hope’s bedroom. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

Hope swiped at the tear tracks on her cheeks.  It wasn’t fair; it just wasn’t fair!  Eli the Elf was the one who did the bad things and she got in trouble for it.

No one believed her.  Not even Daddy.  Oh, he wasn’t as upset as Mama was, but he didn’t believe her either; she could see it in his face. 

And he was disappointed in her.  That was the worst. 

She wished Eli the Elf had never come here!

As soon as she’d followed him from her bedroom and saw him about to start messing up their pretty tree, she’d tried to stop him.  She’d tried to use her magic like Mama did, but it hadn’t worked.  Maybe Hope sized magic wasn’t as powerful as Mama sized magic.

When her magic hadn’t worked, she’d tried to catch him and make him stop, but he was too fast for her. 

He wouldn’t stop until Mama walked into the room.  Then he played dead and let Hope get in trouble. 

“How long you gonna let them keep you couped up in here, kid?” Eli asked from the shelf where Mama had tossed him when she marched Hope to her room.  “The Christmas tree was fun, but there are lots of bigger and better things we can do to shake up this place a little.” 

“Don’t you dare!” Hope growled at him under her breath.  “You already made Mama yell at me and cry.”

Eli shrugged, and hopped down from the shelf, opening her drawers, rifling through, tossing toys and clothes every which way. 

“You stop that right now!” Hope shouted. 

The little imp ignored her, continuing on with his perusal of her things.

Hope was normally a good tempered child.  She rarely got upset, but now, finally this elf had gone too far.  She was not going to get in trouble again for something he did!  She closed her eyes, concentrated as hard as she could and then thrust her arm toward the elf.

Hope knew her magic was working even before it shot from her fingers, the warmth and electricity flowing from her surrounded the elf, wrapping him in light magic bands, like a glowing rope. 

“There!” she cried triumphantly.  “Now I’ve got you!” 

Eli the elf grinned.  It was not a pleasant sight. 

“I wouldn’t be so sure,” Eli said in a smug voice.  “You see kid, your magic brought me to life.  It can’t stop me.  It can only make me stronger.” 

Hope watched in horror as Eli puffed himself up until he got bigger and bigger and bigger.  Soon he was almost as big as Daddy. 

“Mama!  Daddy!” Hope screamed, knowing things had gone completely out of her control. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

Killian burst through the nursery door, his hook at the ready, prepared to battle whatever foe was menacing his daughter. 

Or so he thought. 

Nothing could have prepared him for the sight of the Elf on the Shelf not only alive but gigantic.  For a moment, he stood frozen in the doorway, his jaw dropped and his eyes wide, and then he jumped into action, bursting through the door, putting himself in between Hope and her elf. 

“Cygnet go!  Get to safety!”

The elf laughed, knocking Killian aside as though he were merely a ragdoll.  “You think you can defeat me?” the elf taunted.  “You think you can…” 

But before he could finish his thought, suddenly he shrunk, eyes becoming glassy, body turning back to cloth and cotton.

“Yeah, I’m sure he could have,” Emma said, stepping into the room and kicking the elf she’d just turned back into a toy, “but he doesn’t have to.  I’ll take great pleasure in kicking your…” she glanced toward Hope “butt all the way back to the North Pole.” 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

Several hours later, Emma climbed into her big, comfortable four-poster bed and burrowed into her husband’s warmth. 

“So, never a dull moment in Storybrooke is there?” she said, deadpan. 

Killian laughed, rubbing comforting circles along her back.  “Final battle won, final villain defeated, and yet it still seems there’s more excitement in this small burg than in any of the realms.”

Emma chuckled and then sobered.  “I didn’t believe her, Killian.  My own daughter, and I didn’t believe her when she told us the truth about what happened.  What kind of a person does that make me?” 

“A human being,” Killian said gently.  “Her story was rather outlandish.  I had my doubts as well, if you’ll recall.  Hope is resilient love.  She knows how much you love her, and she’s forgiven you already.” 

After she’d zapped the elf, turned it back into an inanimate object and then locked it in their creepy Dark One dungeon that they kept padlocked until they could figure out how to turn it back into a normal basement, Emma had returned to Hope’s bedroom and given her a long, comforting hug, feeling her toddler sniff against her as the fear and excitement of the day slowly receded. 

“I’m so sorry, baby,” Emma murmured into Hope’s riotous blond curls.  “I should have listened when you tried to tell me the truth.”

 “It’s okay Mama,” Hope said.  “It was my fault Eli comed to life.”

Hope had gone on to explain the whole story to her stunned parents. 

“We really did make an amazing kid, didn’t we?” Emma said.  “How did it never even occur to us that she might have magic?” 

“A terrible oversight on our part, love,” Killian said, chuckling.  “She’s the second generation product of True Love.  Of bloody course she has magic.” 

“We need to talk to Regina, have her train Hope, get a handle on this thing,” Emma said.  “Magic’s great, but man can it go wrong if you don’t have it controlled.” 

Killian kissed her.  “Aye.”  Reaching down, he cupped her still-flat stomach, caressing their unborn child in the only way he could at the moment.  “What do you think are the odds this wee one will have magic as well?” 

Emma groaned.  “We’re in for a wild ride with two of them, aren’t we?” 

Killian laughed.  “That we are, Swan, but it’s nothing we can’t handle.  Together, this family can handle anything.” 

Emma hummed in agreement, and for a moment they fell silent, and then Killian chuckled.

“What?” she asked, noting the mischievous look in his eyes.

“I think it would only be good form, love, for you to admit that I was right about the Elf on the Shelf.” 

Emma rolled her eyes with a grin.  “And you’re never going to let me forget it, are you?” 

He shook his head.  “Never.” 

Emma sighed.  “There’s going to be no living with you after this.  I dread the moment you learn about the Easter Bunny.”

NEXT CHAPTER->

[silovsmenot]

Random thoughts for the 24-25 season...

No.1. I'm not sleeping. Y'all who have been here for my re-emergence from Tumblr death should know, I'm from the tea-drinking UK. I cut down on the amount of NHL games which I watched live this year, but that's going out of the window next year. Between Avs and Canucks for me, and my partner supporting Sabres, we're not sleeping. Luckily I work from home every day ✨

No.2. Am I going to bite the bullet and get the NHL TV season pass again? It seems likely. Its such a huge benefit, as a Brit, to be able to wake up the next morning (and ignore the scores on my phone) to watch the game. I missed being able to do that this year, so it's a serious consideration. Nothing beats watching live, but its the next best thing if I can't stay up.

No.3. I'm going to have to go to more of my local pro team games. I had a few games doing their photography this year, which were amazing. I'm hoping I'll get called to do a few more, but even if I'm not snapping shots, I might have to just go down to odd games.

No.4. I'm getting back on the ice finally ⛸️ As soon as we've got out house/flat sorted, I'm getting back to playing. It's been a hot while, but fuck I miss it. And it's 100% like riding a bike, it'll be great to be back on the ice.

No.5. I also am desperately going to watch more international games/other leagues. We've been to games in Sweden and Slovakia recently, which were great, so we may have to follow those two teams.

[arxxq]

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚୨⎯ "what is the true definition of love?" ⎯୧༊*·˚

≡;- ꒰ °Collaboration with @asukasjinji ꒱ 

explaination: originally we were going to do the enemies to lovers thing but bcs all ideas have vanished we discussed it again and have decided to do prompts instead for characters we write. there are about 30 prompts list down. none of them were my ideas and there were mostly found on pinterest so credits to the actual owners of the prompts.

☄. *. ⋆List of prompts: 

1. “You talk alot in your sleep..do you love me that much?”

2. “You're cute when you smile, you should smile often”

3. “The sunset is beautiful don't you think?” (Angst)

4. “Yeah yeah you're cute now stop smiling at me like that”

5. “Trust me I'll be right here the whole time”

6. “Should I just stop talking?” | “don't, your voice is very soothing”

7. “I don't really know how to dance” | “it's never too late to learn”

8. “You're an idiot” [insert fond smile]

9. “You're a menace and you almost died back there if it wasn't for me”

10. “You could punch me and I'll still love you not gonna lie,"

11. “Be mine” | “is that a line from the book you're reading...?”

12. “I'm not that jealous type but what's mine is mine.”

13. “Whoever has a problem with us can come fight me”

14. “You're such a pain in the ass, both of literally and metaphorically”

15. “This reminded me of you..”

16. “Thank you” | “for what?” | “for coming into my life”

17. “I hope you know by now you mean the world to me”

18. “Do you ever wonder if we ever met in another lifetime?”

19. “Don't just leave me here!” | “who says I am?”

20. “Have you ever seen something prettier than this?!” | “yeah, you”

21. “Have you seen my hoodie?” | “Noo” | “you're wearing it aren't you?”

22. “Are you flirting with me?” | “you finally noticed?”

23. “Am i your lockscreen?” | “you weren't supposed to see that.”

24. “Do you think the moon is jealous of how pretty you are?”

25. “If I do it you have to promise to kiss me”

26. “I think it's cute you need help to reach that”

27. “Are you planning to stay glued by my side the whole day?”

28. “You snuck into my room, at 4am...to cuddle?”

29. “We're in the middle of a thunderstorm and you want to stop and feel the rain?”

30. “I can't believe you talked me out of this...”

Rules: you may request a character along with the prompt number above and please make sure its in full detail so we are able to understand what you plan to request. please choose a character we might be able to write so there won’t be any complications.

I write for bllk characters and genshin impact and from what I've observed asukasjinji writes for bllk and jujutsu kaisen bcs I have seen some jujutsu kaisen works they have written before but just to be sure you may ask them again.

I might also write for tokyo revengers just don't know yet who i can write? (Can't wait for s2)

Reblogs are highly appreciated!!