#its 2 am dont mind me
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this is what i imagine taylor swift was thinking of when she said 1830s without the racism
#decidedly didnt include orientalist paintings but did include a book of mormon bc i thought it was funny#so not really free of racism.#jordan talks#she wants to do her whole poet thing im assigning her some poetry readings from tennysons lady of shallott#its 2 am dont mind me#i just finished a 19th century (european) art history class can u tell#sorry it should be the revised frankenstein but hey. still existed then#imagine she said 1930s instead ……… Depression core with a capital D
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okay i have a theory(no its not a cry for help)
So, in this last scene:
Ron says she will have 60 seconds to read the script meaning everything Reagan said is in the window of suggestibility.
And she reads the script to create the identity they are going for but, then she starts talking:
So that also goes into Ron's head right? What if he starts wondering about the person that searched for thousands of lifetimes to make him happy?
What if he starts wondering who that little voice in his mind is or that sentence without a voice belongs to?
What if he can't stop thinking about that person who's gonna miss him,
And he'd miss too if it were possible.
And it would be so fucking painful to just remembering but actually not remembering at all. Like trying to remember a word but not being able to form it in your head or like knowing where your step is going to land but then stepping on a stair and so, stepping into a space; falling down briefly but still falling. Feeling that float-y feel of a fall and landing on the familiar ground; feeling the little sound inside and coming back to the reality.
That kind of an annoying feeling that comes and goes. And when he can't handle it anymore, can't handle not knowing; he tries to reach for it, search for it, tries to recognise it, name it and find it...
... does this make sense is this how memory erasing works JWEBKEBRKF I DONT KNOW AND I DONT CARE!!!
#dont mind me im just losing my mind#its 3 am and ive been crying for 2 hours and this is the outcome#tell me im not crazy and this does make sense#it does#RIGHT#netflix inside job#inside job spoilers#inside job season 2#inside job netflix#inside job 2#inside job#ron inside job#inside job ron#ron staedtler#reagan ridley#inside job reagan#edit 1: i fully convinced myself that ron is coming back in s3#delusional bitches join me
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something simple to try to get out of art block (it didn't work)
#alek art#ninjago#zane julien#2024#i am very unhappy with this and sooo in order to feel better i am going to talk about him#system zane is very real to me. i always give him six main alters (but i do believe there is more lol)#systems cannot just pick and choose who front depending on the day i am very aware (i am a system) its more on the nose symbolism#the fifth one crossed out is the ice emperor. in canon he exists in zane's mind as an “alter ego” of sorts which is crazy to me#character has canon dissociative episodes... amnesia... and several different “personalities” / identities? sounds familiar idk#i talked a lot about this hc on my long ass zane hc post thanks for the ask btw npderzane#its not an au its just how i see him so just imagine every zane i draw as system zane. ill only specify it in the tags if its system related#that one post thats like. 'being a did system sucks which one of us poured instant coffee in the bathtub!' thats the average zane experience#he wakes up and everyones like “mannn zane you were going crazyyy on prime empire yesterday” and hes like ??? i did not play any video games#and then he looks at the calender and 6 months have passed. semi true story that happened to me#also alters having incredibly different food preferences is funny. zane doesnt eat anything ever vs boone who eats raw meat sometimes#zane having really weird characterization? and its very inconsistent / bad writing uhhh alek explanation is hes a system and nobody can mask#man its 1 pm :|#i hate this drawing so much i dont even want to look at it but it took time so ill post it#i also have another zane drawing in my drafts i should post. from like 2 months ago???
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#why am i like this 😐#yay it didn't take me 2 years!🎉#its a but more simple but i dont mind#art#hetalia#hetalia nordics#aph nordics#aph norway#hws nordics#hws hetalia#hws norway#hws denmark#aph denmark#aph dennor#hws dennor#enjoy! til we meet again!!#procreate
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My brother in Christ, making Crowley absolutely and completely miserable is what God must feel like when she does the same to me
I honestly see the appeal. Keep popping, queen. Seeing your minions in pain is indeed the best past time
#crowley will only leave my hands drenched in blood and ichor#is it even fun if you dont make the demon watch the angel die at least once?#nah you cant be an angst writer in this fandom if youve never done that#go psychologicaly scar the snek man and assassinate the angel right now#good boy#good omens#crowley#aziraphale#ineffable husbands#anthony j crowley#aziracrow#its 2 am spencer has no idea what he is saying dont mind me
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anyway yeah fr i miss ordo theoritas. i miss the theory crafting i miss the hugeass meetings before/after Big Lore Event to brief/debrief everyone involved i miss the chaos and confusion and laughter and teamwork. i miss the cellbit, bad, and phil (key-keepers my beloveds) being the heads of the ordo working together to untangle the mysteries to the island. they were hardly ever on at the same time bc schedules and time zones (WAILS) but in my head they had so many late nights down in the evidence rooms like this
just. yeah. yeahh.
#qsmp#ordo theoritas#qsmp philza#qsmp cellbit#qsmp badboyhalo#i might have a fic idea but rn it’s just archivists bc they live in my head rent free#also im not too comfortable writing bad bc (1) i don’t watch him as much and (2) his lore is like?? so complicated??#as an outside viewer its pretty intimidating lol#it’s the vibe of late night working w your friends on a project/lab/whatever slowly losing your minds tying to figure it out#it’s 2:30 am you’ve been talking in circles the theories are getting more out there but ya don’t rly care bc hey it’s Something#and then someone says smthn that’s just like Woah. wait Actually?? and it kicks you all back into gear to get you chugging along again#anyway i miss them i go sleepies now gnnnn#dont mind me im just rambling#god so much for me going to bed at a decent hour lmao
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It would be so fucking funny if Azriel just ends up permanently in Lunathion during the course of CC3. Like SJM saw all the ship war nonsense and just puts Azriel in Crescent timeout for the rest of the series.
#using the crossover for good#acotar#crescent city#azriel#dont mind me its 2 am and im cackling quietly to myself
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shes so shiny
dungeon meshi chapter #60
#SAVE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE#falin touden#dunmeshi#im reading this 2 heal my soul & mind rn u dont understandaskjfh kasdj#the next issue is literally number 97 & im a pussy i am NOT READING THAT#get the hell out of here...........#y do i like characters w/fire trauma#is this smth from my past or-#oh wait its definatly from my past TEEHEE#some1 save me AKJLSFGHHJAWGFJHAGSFA#falin i await 4 u 4ever#imagine if some1 told me this wasnt falin#i would cry actually#fakslhdlfjkdasjfag
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one of the oldest hcs i have is that karate joe has a little mole on the lower left side of his lip (his left, viewer's right)
not sure when or why i gained this hc, it's just kind of been a constant in how i draw him for as long as i can remember
for example:
well, i never really draw his mouth, so i suppose just the left of his chin
#rhythm heaven#rhythm tengoku#karate joe#guys that one drawing last week cursed me (/lhj)#i am now doomed to draw rh for the next month after punchtober prob kinda exhausted me of po#so i'd expect more of a mix of rh and po content for a bit#but damn i still got it! i can still draw at least 2 rh characters (as far as you know....)#but anyways ya i love hcing birthmarks and moles and freckles and other such “blemishes”#like all of the rh characters i've fixated on i've hced to have those sorts of marks except probably 2#i find them extremely charming#prob a reason why i got drawn to kaiser#hes like the only character i know (i dont know that many characters) who canonically has moles and its treated like. normal#like he just has them theyre not like gross or ugly or anything#i have a lots of marks and a couple moles on my body and i love all of them#i find them to be a bit of what makes me (and people in general) unique#do mind the tag ramble- apologies
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pov you walk into the precinct 41 break room and the heterosexual life partners are discussing a case
#ref is an always sunny screenshot LMFAO i just. needed to do this#harry du bois#jean vicquemare#i hesitate to tag this jeanharry because that's not quite what this is. even so.#jeanharry#kiwipost#my art#dont ask me quastion i am 2.#chester: ....why are you sitting on mullen like that#jean: not enough room on the couch. mind your fucking business#truly and genuinely they both are like why do you guys keep calling us gay. we're obviously het. wdym het guys dont do this#are they fucking? maybe. not important. theyre still het. and hate each other etc etc#sorryyy its rough i will never clean up art ever
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can i ask.how u guys practice ur creativity <3 how u practice ur imagination or like.. how u experiment with ur art, how u come to ideas and how u develop them.<3 pretty please <3
#smthing i have always struggled w.is feeling like i can only draw things that r handed 2 me.#as in.an idea or concept that already exists#chara or conflict that already exists.Scene that alr exists.#and i think it can be soo limiting bc when i have that sort of creative desire but nothing 2 reflect off of it#i feel like im unable to do anything/get anywhere bc im unable to do that mental legwork myself ykwim#like comic artists r SOOO JAW DROP INSPIRING TO MEE bc not only are u envisioning ur own sequences/situations#but u are able to imagine even the most MUNDANE interactions within those scenarios u know#like the transitory panels and the quiet moments and the every day stillness#and i feel like.its not even a poor attempt on my behalf its like.i cant Even attempt it.like my brain is soo empty#and soo static and noiseless that i am like gauhh......#i can practice lines all day long and practice colors and practice anatomy or Whatever bc its something concrete#and its in front of me and i can pry apart the physical technicalities until i understand it better#but my MIND???ABSTRACTION>? THOUGHTS .ough its so hard#and i really want to push past that but i dont know how and its so .. demoralizing to think that ill get there One Day but i feel#one million and two days away.and not making active process towards it.#i know the first step is to build ur visual library and i feel liek. idk i FEEL LIKEEE theres more 2 it that im missing#but also im depressed as hell n my job is killing my creative drive and the seasonal stuff isnt helping#so maybe i just need 2 give it time (true) but i also like.man i dont know. i want 2 do something w my hands#but everything ive been doing so far has felt soo .hard and fruitless and i definitely dont want 2 turn art into such a stressful thing#fruitless as in like.i dont get any personal satisfaction w it.idgaf abt monetization or algorithms or any of tht#but smtimes thats just what happens and i have 2 weather through and know ill be more equipped 4 this some other time#SAWRYYY IM ALWAYS GOING ON AND ONNN im nromal im normal<3 i just rly like art and it sucks balls whn it feels out of reach#sigh cry fart scroll.(:salute:)
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GUYSSSSSS
TOMORROW IS MY HUSBAND'S BIRTHDAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY
#ash rambles 💚#kissing in the van 💍#I'm gonna go to bed soon since its late and I'm on vacation rn and need to be up early#honestly I'm not the most stoked person in the world but hey being out is always awesome and i should appreciate it#BUT YEAH. MY HUSBAND. HIS BIRTHDAY. I AM SO EXCITED. I LOVE HIM. I'LL KISS HIM SOOOO MUCH!!!!! AND BAKE HIM A YUMMY TREAT!!!!#hes the loml!! it's been more than 2 and a half years and he makes me just as happy as he did the day we first kissed!!!!!!!!!!#he makes me soooo happy!!!#everyone wish k.yohei a happy birthday :D!#i love my husband more than i can describe in words#i know i dont always talk abt him#but thats because he's ALWAYS on my mind hehe! muah!!!!!
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who up seeing their disorder in a fictional character but feel like its not their place to put a name on it
#id have to be waterboarded before i can talk abt how i see a lot of my adhd and personality in mitsumi iwakura let alone post it#idk how to talk abt this without feeling like im talking over or invalidating ppls experiences relating with a character#someone was talking abt how ppl tie laios' autism to special interest and social difficulties but not much else which kinda flattens it#and then went into a respectful in depth analysis of other autistic behaviour that laios exhibits and it wasnt phrased meanly#its fascinating and important to me to hear someone explain a little bit abt traits that they recognized and often go overlooked#because it does help me learn more about it. but i think thats also where hesitancy kicks in when it comes to depicting it accurately#like i have adhd and some of my adhd symptoms overlap with autism (time blindness and pattern seeking behaviour) but that only means#it feels familiar to me even without having autism. on top of that traits arent always cleanly determined as being /caused/ by#a disorder. to understand my environment i compare it to something unrelated but similar to make it more familiar and for the longest time#i thought that was a personality thing and not an information processing thing since i loved playing pretend in my head as a kid#so if you make a character who experiences that hoping to reach people that also experience that and tell them its not weird or#smth youre making up like. thats the goal. ppl who dont get it arent expected to it just means it doesnt cater to them but it helps them#become familiar to it yk? since i dont have autism myself i dont feel confident i can depict it properly or explain it in my own words#but that doesnt mean im trying to dismiss it or try and cut it out completely.. ill just leave the floor open to someone who /can/#a lot of issues around fanon depictions are when smth is baselessly popularized or a characters personality and behavior is flattened#especially to fit them into a trending meme. its harmless and its supposed to be for fun but it gets tricky when you drag things that#need to be carefully explained beforehand or else it gets lost in translation. like that tweet abt 'hyperfixating' on cooking pasta#once it becomes popular language usually the original meaning is left out for the sake of simplifying it for everyone that when it#circles back theres a sort of hesitancy like. am i using it the way it was intended or am i unknowingly using the popularized version of it#actually thats probably why i felt wrongfooted during diagnosis bc it felt like i was misusing the words i heard to describe what i felt#i /know/ i see a lot of myself in mitsumi because our minds are always somewhere else and we tend to put good faith first and for me#that personal connection is enough. but idk it feels like its always gonna have to be 'palatable' first before i can talk abt it openly#mad respect to writers and creators who stick to their story even if theres the looming fear of ppl misinterpreting it and letting them#have it.. its been almost 2 weeks and i am so close to deleting that m3 dunmeshi drawing bc ppl keep saying chilchuck wouldnt have 200 HP#IT LITERALLY SAYS I MADE IT WHILE WATCHING EP 1. I USED EARTHBOUND LOGIC AND I WASNT EVEN TAKING IT SERIOUSLY CHILL#yapping
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SatoSuguᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི
Looking at the stars ✮
(Lives/afterlives)
From time to time, although not that often, Satoru and Suguru would go stargazing. They're too busy living out the best of their ( ), just being in each other's presence.
It's been far too long since they had this much peace, considering they were on opposing sides. But now, they finally have what they wanted, what they needed the most.
"It was lonely. You know that, right Suguru?"
"You gave me too much free will Satoru, of course I know. But I won't say I regretted my actions, knowing fully well it's too late."
He stated, looking at the stars.
"Don't blame yourself Satoru."
The time they spent talking, Gojo was looking at Geto, his eyes full of pain, regret, and guilt.
He turned to the sky, the comets and stars shimmering. The moon was especially pretty today.
"The moon is beautiful, isn't it?"
Gojo smiles, knowing Suguru knew what he meant.
"It truly is beautiful.."
...
"Me too."
He finally looked at him in the eye.
࣪ ִֶָ☾.── .✦
✮⋆˙You can fill in the blanks with lives/afterlives. This is leaning towards more where they are already dead, living in the afterlife. But if you want to read it as if they are still alive, then go for it.
-Jღ
The ways in which you talk to me, "sugudu" have me wishing I were gone, "SAT OR OOO" - C's shenanigans..
#fluff#slightly sad#jujutsu kaisen#satosugu#sugusato fluff#satosugu fluff#after life#jjk fluff#satoru gojo#gojo satoru#geto suguru#suguru geto#geto jjk#suguru jjk#gojo jjk#satoru jjk#fluff jjk#happy ending jjk (i think)#satosugu comfort#i know wanting them alive is like huge closure and coping for you but i think you should let them live out what they're souls wanted#please know that not everything will turn out what you wanted it to when gojo had a comeback#gege hates gojo so for gege to use satoru's body as a weapon again just really hits the pang in your heart#AT LEAST FOR ME OFCOURSE.#I know its for the plot but lowkey I read jjk so that i can cry#at this point the plot for me is just out of the question because i already read it like 4 times in the span of 2 weekends#mind you my weekend is only 2 days if not maybe 3#and you guys dont know me but i am a FAST reader. but i still take in plot dw lmao#anyways im yapping see you guys later🙆
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you're like a celebrity to me. Is that weird? I put you on the same pedestal that actors and CEOs and stuff other people are put on. Am I normal? Am I normal, Spacie? I hope I'm not
AHAHAHAHHA??? im flattered! i dont think its weird per say, but i am definitely NOT famous. dont put me on that pedestal brah im literally like. just some guy shitting around on tumblr.com/dashboard
#spacie splains#i dont mind if people look up 2 me im just saying its a bad idea#i cant really uhhh change other peoples thoughts and or opinions of me but im wary of fame#i dont want people fawning over me. im not that interesting LMAO#also when you get too famous ppl stop viewing you as a person and moreso as an object and uh-#kind of dont want that. i am just some guy fr#on tumblr its different depending on what you get famous for. people here are a bit more down 2 earth than they are in other places#but still#you're not normal buddy anyone who follows me is . not normal at all.#well#sometimes normal people follow me 2 experience my level of crazy i wont deny#but your name has autism in it im willing 2 bet you've. got a bit of weirdness in ya
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...
#being back in the lab is giving me whiplash#bc i like seeing all the ppl again. i like seeing my cultures again. but in the one class im taking im worried for the amount of reading#and discussing ill have to do. its going to b very obvious when im struggling to understand what im reading#and thats in addition to the reading ill have to do specific to my project. and my dad's like: ur mental health comes 1st. if it's too much#then step away but if i did that i really would be cutting the cord between myself and ever finishing in this program. ugh. how am i already#more tired than when i was getting up at 3 am and spending 8hrs on my feet?#and this morning. after 3 months of applications i finally have an interview for a government job.#so im like here going thru the motions of being a grad student but im still holding on to my way out#rn my ideal would be that i actually get this job im interviewing for bc it involves growing microbes for agricultural research and i want#to stay a microbiologist. but i would have enough time to finish out the semester before moving across the country yet again.#bc i dont wanna just leave bc i teach 2 lab sections but i dont think i wanna do this anymore#but hey it's only day 2. ive got plenty of time to change my mind#it just sucks and im tired#unrelated
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