#itll happen all the same
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slept all day & didn't write 😔 but i had an idea for a hybrid! honkai men au and i need opinions its an abo flavored au i fear do these sound correct ?
dr. ratio | owl
sunday | dove
gallagher | hound
aventurine | feral cat
welt | bear
sampo | fox
boothill | robot. obviously.
blade | wolf
jing yuan | lion
dan heng | dragon. obviously.
gepard | golden retriever
svarog | robot. obviously.
#honkai star rail#hsr fanfic#honkai star rail x reader#itll happen all the same#but do these feel right#they do to me#its gonna be abo flavored sorry#miya
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sending love and support & a big ol shout out to psychotics whose psychosis is easily influenced by the fiction they consume. (a classic psychotic experience & symptom is a general struggle in the ability to discern what is and isn't reality; fiction & reality blur together easily) and infinite love & support for those whose psychosis has made it difficult and/or outright dangerous to continue to consume the same media's you loved and cherished. it's heartbreaking! and very difficult to deal with, especially when fiction used to be a safe escape. I hope you find ways to cope and ways to manage that balance between your health and what makes you happy. grounding techniques can help a lot when you feel that first sense of slippage!
#charlie words#psychosis#actually psychotic#actually schizospec#i happen to love a lot of media that involves multiple realities/universes & the crossing between them#very fun medias. i love scifi and fantasy elements! but sometimes it can give my brain ideas.#on my other post about psychosis ive seen a lot of people mention that they feel unable to consume the same medias in the same ways anymore#and its sad. and i resonate with it. and itll get better! easier to cope with. love you all
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#ugh. fuck me im so tired. im getting sucked back into that workaholic mindset and now my body hurts and my nerves are fying. but it feels#good to b productive. if only i didnt have to teach and could just work with data :-(#anyway. the last 2 weeks have been good in that i feel like im actually hitting my stride a bit#bc we're seeing cool things in our genomes and its gonna b really fun to explore. and i met with the terrifying#prof who is on my committee to pitch a project for a final in her class and it seems it went over well. it was kinda funny bc we were#meeting and she was like: so how would u tell which gene was lost 1st? the phytochrome or the genes that r triggered by activation? and i#was like: uhhhhh idk. and then my advisor walked by and she grabbed him and asked him the same question and he was like: idk we'll have to#figure it out. which made me feel way better abt not knowing lol. then my superior lab mate asked me a question abt taking confocal images#and i was actually able to figure out what her issue was. and my old advisor was asking me if i knew anyone to ask for using a pam on cyanos#and i was like: here is what i think my advisor would say and linked her a paper. then i asked my advisor and he said what i expected and#linked the paper that id already sent. so im like. ok. ok. maybe i actually sometimes do kno what im doing. sorta.#and then my old advisor said she was so proud of me. and i was like aw. its so funny bc my relationship is so different with my new advisor#hes great but its all very professional. with my old advisor i would text her after hours bc she was a workaholic like me and went on long#car rides and handed out Halloween candy with her. she was more hands on and doesnt have kids so work is her life. its just interesting#so things have been going well. but there arent enough hours in the day. and my committee meeting is in like 16 days. and i am afraid for#that but not as afraid as i was in april when i had a full on breakdown and canceled it the day before it was set to happen lol#itll b fine. i just have to work thru the weekend so i can get my preproposal done. and prey that the fucking splitstree download site will#start working bc i want to do gene networks dammit#unrelated
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okokok so this is definitely the most weirdly specific question ive ever asked but does anyone know if the symmetrical worm enemies in terraria (eater of worlds, destroyer, bone serpent, etc.) flip to stay upright in the same way the asymmetrical ones (wyvern, blood eel, and phantasm dragon) do and we just cant tell bc their designs are symmetrical
#amicus.txt#terraria#ive been brainstorming some texture pack ideas and this is very important info that i dont have time/energy/ability to test#like to try and explain it differently:#in terraria the wyvern enemy's textures will often get mirrored while youre fighting it#this is because the wyverns texture is drawn from a side-view perspective; so theres a correct “up” orientation for it#so when it flips its doing that to prevent itself from being upside-down#which would obviously look weird for it to be flying around like that#this same principle applies to the blood eel and phantasm dragon enemies and the stardust dragon minion#the wiki lists these enemies as having the same ai type (Worm AI) as terrarias worm enemies. such as the Eater of Worlds boss#Eater of Worlds is drawn from a top-down perspective and not a side-view perspective. it also happens that it is symmetrical#so its left half looks the exact same as its right half#which also means that with the way it is drawn it cant really be “upside-down” in the same way a wyvern could#so if the Eater of Worlds was flipped in the same way the wyvern is then we wouldnt be able to notice#BUT since they are both listed as having the Worm AI type which would presumably contain the directions to have it flip#that might mean that its still flipping to keep itself “upright” even though it doesnt change anything#to prove this you would have to make a custom texture pack where the Eater of Worlds' texture is asymmetrical#and then test it by fighting it in a world#so for example if you drew a big R on each texture of Eater of Worlds' segments (head body and tail)#if it doesnt flip like the wyvern does then itll just look like an R at all times just at different rotations#but if it DOES flip then it would look like a Я at some points in the fight
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it is. 2.10 am and my school starts tomorrow i am TERRIFIED like. it isnt even funny idk who ill hang out with i nee dto hardcore study or some shit its gonna b.e the shittiest time evver . so. due ot lack of time and energy and in the best intentions to hopefully keep me alive i fear hibi inactive era si going to start. around here
#itll be pretty much the same as recently#ill still be online just. not so much#guys why is . school#shit happened oh god like. this summer wa sos different from last and the one before that and this school year is going to suck because i a#previously mentioned fucked up my friendships yay .#like. all except two i think idk idk idk idk#mmm#anwyays#i LOVE you guhys so!!! am going to stay alive spring is oging to come aagain it is !!!!! okay !!!!!!!
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come on man
#2 hours long..... i can guarantee you you could just say 'it was kinda mid' and move on 💀#this is the exact same thing that happened with botw 😭 and when the next zeldie game comes out itll happen all over again#i just find it so strange . ive said before tht i have my own problems with totk but. certainly not 2 hours worth of them 😭#anyway whatever. warm loving embrace sweep#loz#personal.txt
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SO. this is. a lot!! I want to truly genuinely honestly thank everyone who didn't immediately shoot me dead in the street for the side blog, bc yea it is mine LOL. Which,, I was hoping it wasn't that obvious but oh well. I hugely, wildly appreciate everyone who has been chill (and everyone who's actually followed me bc of all this LOL) and I am sooooo so so so sorry to everyone caught in the crossfire :( I hope this all levels out soon bc. blehg.
Also!!!. listen. I hate to be this guy, I really do, but I want to remind y'all that I use it/its pronouns and nothing else. I am seeing a lotta they/them and while I know y'all're likely not being malicious, just keep it in mind pretty pls if I'm talked about at any point forward. love y'all 🙏
#xero says things#im p sure the anon that sent the first ask that spiralled all this was the same anon i got yesterday night#got someone asking about the blog and i just silently deleted it bc. if i dont bring attention to it we can be cool yk?#but uhm. tsk. yea#frankly im very very scared bc the /idea/ of this happening is smth i genuinely have lost sleep over. and its happening!!#but ill be okay!!!#this is petty online shit!! it will not effect my actual life and—while still stressful—the time will pass and itll be whatevsies#important#discourse#< i. feel like i gotta make a blacklisting tag for this somehow. lol.
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It is what it is
#please give me a reason to hope#please give me something to know ill be okay#i feel like im constantly watching the world end. asking myself when it will finally take me with it#but it never does. not yet. i just have to sit and watch it happening all around me. everytime im powerless#everytime i witness things i cant change#i want to reassure everyone that ill be okay but in my head all my thoughts are racing just screaming “its not fair!!!” over and over again#i know ill make it out but i dont know if itll be alive. and i dont know if ill be the same
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* the unending pain and suffering of i adore phineas and izabella az characterz , i lov their dynamic i lov them az friendz i lov to draw them being affectionate and sweet to each other they are EVERYTHING but i HAAAAAAAAATE the romantic ship i HATE IT and i cant make silly cute content of them without it being tagged phinabella YK
#phinz wordz#N ITLL FEEL SHITTY TO SAY SMTH LIKE ‘pls dont tag as phinabella😇’ CUZ LIKE WHO DOEZNT SHIP PHINABELLA YK ….#I DONT ………… SNIFFLE ………….#i hate the amatonormativity of it all i hate the ‘why wont he feel the same way’ HEZ NOT OBLIGATED TO !!!!!!!#i hate the ‘he’ll come around eventually’ vibez WHAT IF HE DOEZNT WHAT IF HE NEVER DOEZ WHAT IF HE NEVER HAZ AN ‘OH’ MOMENT WHAT IF HEZ ARO#i hate the Frustration at him not picking up on any of her hintz#i hate it when any post about phineas haz to be made about phinabella az if he iznt allowed to exist without her#az if him liking her back iz just a universal truth and like Destined to happen WHAT IF IT WAZNT#WHAT IF THEYRE ONLY BOUND BY FATE TO BE BUDDIEZ WHAT THEN !!!!!!!#im too fucking aromantic for this
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AHHHHHH
#this post brought to you by: me#i. applied for a preapproval letter for a mortgage yesterday. and spoke to a realtor to start finding me houses#i want to move several states away which further complicated things. but the houses there are CHEAP#like under 100k for a 2 bedroom move in ready#anyways i got approved for 80k with a 20k down payment. and im FREAKING THE FUCK OUT#and because i got that pre app letter i have a loan officer calling me today to talk#and we literally work at the same bank so i can SEE that hes active and hasnt read my message#even though its been 45 minutes. KEVIN MESSAGE ME BACK. IM NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO FOCUS UNTIL I DO THIS CALL#AHHHHHHH S C R E A M. it might happening!!!! i might be finally.mov8ng out in a few months!!!#i mgiht be a HOMEOWNER by the end of the year#i have been saving money for this since i was. 16? 17?#ive had a good well paying job since i was 18.#AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#once i have a house then i start job searching in that area. and start getting really serious about LEAVING my very good job#which is soooo scary. this job was supposed to be my lifelong career. but then everyone fucking moved to other states and left me behind#so theres no point staying here.#i might never have this kind of job security again.#but also my realtor said that theres a lot of bank jobs in that area so maybe itll be easy to find something#on the fence on if i tell my parents that im Making Moves right now#on one hand its hard to not talk about it becuae im STRESSED TF OUT#but on the other hand when i tentatively mentioned the state i want to move to#richard started yelling and swearing el oh el#might be better to wait and avoid the tension as long as possible?#but also i dont know how they can stay angry when its literally my best option#the other places where my friends live either have 0 opportunity and high housing prices. or are even moe liberal than where im going#idk. why do half of my problems come down to “my parents will be mad” like im a 12 year old or something. shit fucking sucks#this is why i want to get out of here#also it feels weird and bad to talk to my friends about how stressed i am about buying a house when all of them are stressed about#not being able to make rent or something. my problems feel like a brag in a really odd and shitty way. but hey!#if this works out maybe ill start being stressed about how im going to make my mortgage payments! :') yay!
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save me.
#ok wait real quick. im really too tired. the first thing i typed was '2b' which. is not what i want to talk about. im out of everythingg#ok so i got back at. 1.40 am last night. sure.#but. ive got my shift today starting at 12.30pm. aka i gotta be ready at 12.#which means i shouldve started lunch at 11.30. but since i got back so late this is also when i just finished my breakfast.#aka my tummy full i cant eat lunch.#erm.#so im hoping that this wont cause problems =w=bb#sillyposting#anyway thats not my main trouble today.#ive got. almost 5 hours of kids waiting for me.#theres a saint nik performance today. twice.#ohohoooo.....#at least the woman im working with is nicey =w=b plus she also worked last nights shift so were in the same boatt. erm.#anyway even THAT. would be fine.#except.#my old boss invited me to a going-away party. and i dont fucking want to go.#itll be god knows how long masking. itll be holding back tears bc i am bad with separations. just. everything im imagining it will be is ba#oh.#yk this is the exact same thing i had when i had a bbq with them. imagining itll all be bad and it being. actually okay.#TBF. that was because gay things were happening.#fuck i still cant believe i fumbled that chance noo.......#its fine.#but yeagh. not looking forward to today.#its not like im already stressed about everything school or summ :)#how do people LIVE. i fucking cant.
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nothing too dramatic but it'd be cool if you changed the theme of your account during the event. like change the colors from blue and white and stuff to dark red
just for vibes :)
[ OOC: ohhhohohoho anon ur Cookin. ur cooking i shall keep this in mind ]
#ooc: the prophet talks#ask blog#should i make a Tag for the. yeah i might#avian event#woop!#both for me yapping about it but for when it Does happen. itll be a go-to so we're all on the same page
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Well that awakened some unpleasant memories gamers 😬😬😬 time to bury myself in productive work tasks like a good little autist I suppose 🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡
#im also on edge cus im getting a liiiiiittle fed up with my direct superior#like hes running out my homie tolerance#im currently back to being at the same time unable to be involved in any meeting or decision#and also singularly responsible for the outcomes of both those things#like ive got responsibilty but not authority again. hes back to not listening again#there are a million ways to solve this and once everythign settles out itll cool down but rn im just feeling very. well. d#feeling like they see me like a good little autist who will fix everything and drudge away forever#infinitely talented infinitely hardworking and requiring no personal maintenance#like last week i complained about being put on bullshit shows to do nothing on and they were both like. well yeah youre a tech. you tech.#like brother if i was JUST a technician we'd be in fucking dire straits right now#you know it. upper management knows it. we all agree on this topic#its not even really about a raise or anything. we'll talk about that but its like. gonna happen#he's just getting too administrative these days. too nose in a spreadsheet#which is frustrating cus we've always had an excellent rapport and made shit work as a team#and now that weve been given the resources needed all of a sudden im Just A Tech? gahdamn bro cold as fuck#like dont make me play games bro just chill and we'll be cool lmao
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God, this is fucking crazy
So i only have 3 more classes to take, but it'll cost the same to take 3 classes as 4 classes. So I've been thinking about taking a 4th class just for the hell of it. Something fun and/or easy.
Out of curiosity, I looked up orchestras. I was in it in my first year, but I haven't consistently played since 2016. But I still dream about being in an orchestra again. I *miss it*. So I was like. Well, what if *that* was my 4th class next semester? What If?
I looked it up. This week is the last week they're doing auditions for it. There was only one more spot free after today. And that's *tomorrow evening*.
I haven't really played my violin much in YEARS. I'm so out of practice. But apparently they don't reject anyone outright. Auditions are just for placement. So worst case scenario, I get placed in an orchestra at a lower skill level than I was at my prime. It'd still be an orchestra.
It's crazy short notice, but I don't think I'd forgive myself if I passed it up. Bc I have just one more semester before I graduate. One last opportunity to be in a school orchestra. And if I didn't do this, I'd be left with that What If forever.
So. Crazy short notice, but I have a violin audition tomorrow!!! Hahahaha
#speculation nation#im literally shaking with nerves rn but i want this so so so badly#i remember. how to play. my arms are just so much stiffer than they used to be. and my nails. man im gonna have to trim my fucking nails#at least my left hand. kinda sucks bc i like the polish i have on rn but u cant have any long nail at all for violin.#i need to play two scales of my choosing. ascending and descending in three octaves.#recommended for violin is A C or E-flat major. of course i know A and C but i'd have to look up E-flat. never did much with flats in school#then again i have that One Two Three and a Half rhythm Down. thats how id often warm myself up.#start with the base G string and just do a scale up and down (one octave). go up to the next note. do it again.#again and again until i started running out of room on the E string. & if i was Real motivated maybe id start shifting to continue.#so all id need to do is find the E flat and id be good. it all follows the same pattern.#the harder challenge will be the solo or etude. 2-3 minutes in length. only *one day* to prepare.#i have NO IDEA what id even play. i'll look in my old sheet music to see if theres anything that might work#simple enough for me to relearn on such short notice. and interesting enough to be played solo#(since i was always in orchestras it's not always the best for solo playing. tho i was also first violin section a lot#which is Basically the same as playing solo lmaooo)#if i cant find anything i do have a few sheet music books i could look in. id hate to play smth too simple#but better simple and Right than trying to do something above my current skill level.#which IRKS ME bc once upon a time i was the 4th best violinist in my high school. out of nearly 2k students.#but thats what happens when u go years without consistent practice :p ur arm gets Stiff.#im. still nervous but also thinking about the music is making me EXCITED.#it's going to be a wild time prepping for this thing but itll be over in like 5 mins and i dont even have to worry about Passing#so long as i *do it* i should get into something. i just need to push myself. do it. get out there. *play your violin*#i already cried in a public bathroom for 10 mins today and im feeling emotional Again.#not quite crying emotional tho thankfully. just. i feel like i need to climb onto a rooftop and SCREAM!!!! but like in a good way.#so so so nervous but itll be so so so worth it. i could be in an orchestra again. finally. finally finally finally.#and i STILL NEED TO FINISH THIS ASSIGNMENT.....!!!! hfkahfks today has been. a DAY.#just. keeps going through my head. i could be in an orchestra again. i could be in an orchestra again. at least one more time.
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Thinking about the wonderful* headache that is Helen's birth origin story (along with her brothers the dioscuri and sometimes her sister clytemnestra too). How many eggs are there? Who lays them, Leda or Nemesis? Is it a swan + human situation or a swan + goose situation or a swan + swan situation or a goddess + swan situation??? If its Leda why on earth is she laying eggs and not giving birth like a human being????? If its Nemesis why are these children not also gods????? (Or why do some of them get to share their immortality with their sibling upon death but others are delegated to 'mortal' doesn't that just seem unfair?!?!) aaaaAAAAAAA
*note: not wonderful
#capri talks#greek mythology#helen of sparta#leda and the swan#dioscuri#DONT even get me started on when they were all born because I might cry#the dioscuri and helen and clytemnestra presumably 'happened' all at the same time but. clearly it can't.#dioscuri are off doing things as part of the argonauts and hunting the calydonian boar. how am I supposed to feasibly piece this together??#current workshop idea is the egg with helen in it just took a REALLY long time to hatch. which I find funny.#egg of doom (helen) incubating in a box with leda having no idea when or if itll hatch. it's giving me '72 hours remain' majora's mask vibe#I'm sorry about the Tyndareus erasure. he just adds even more complications to this mess I don't have the bandwidth for it asdfghjkl
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serin posting mika had me overwhelmed with the urge to make a separate gbf multi for an hour. the things mika does to me
#stardust speaking !#imagine putting one of the greatest characters in the game behind 112chs of main story (this is about both mika & shitori)#I WAS gonna make a lil blog for rein when i eventually pick her up but. mayhaps ill move all my other gbf muses there.............#lots of them have major spoilers anyway LOLT_T#anyway i wanna find a meme to rb on akira but i hateee looking for memes i cannot stress this enough <-says this everytime#mayhaps ill rb it here too. for funsies. i havent opened up to interactions in a long while after all#gonna start writing more again too yahoo cuz who knows when theyll give the main story update and once they do itll be Over For Me#ALSO KOLULU AND MANAMEL EVENTTT???? HEELLOOOOOO is this um. separate from uh. the ending. of uh. last time.<3?!?! or is it. rly. um.......#we'll see when it happens anyway i loooveeee manamel & kolulu im so excited#I ACTUALLY MIGHT GIVE UP ON THE MEME STUFF IM STARING AND I DONT LIKE THESE FOR MY CHARAS maybe ill just look at the same#two ive rbd before
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