#itd have been such a mess
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Tokrev final arc spoilers (anime only, continue at your own risk)
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I asked myself the question - when did BD 1st gen did disband actually ? And.
It happens one month at least (could be more but then, why not write it when the '1 month later' is) before Mikey's accident
Mikey had his accident when he was 8 in 1999 (Shinichiro's 'present' is 2003, and it was in July and Mikey's birthday is in August) - Shinichiro was 18
So that means
That since they came back in 1998, they also came back to a time where the current and only Black Dragon generation is the first :)
Shinichiro here, is still a gang leader
#they came back in time not even a full year before mikeys accident#itd have been such a mess#a part of me is glad shinichiro doesnt remember what hes gone through - the other wants mikey and his brother who killed for him to talk#tokyo revengers#tok rev#tr#tokyo revengers shinichiro#tokrev shinichiro#tr shinichiro#tokyo revengers mikey#tr mikey#tokrev mikey#tokrev manjiro#tokyo revengers manjiro sano#manjiro sano#sano shinichiro#final arc
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Anyone else feel like Kaito is almost becoming a secondary character in his own manga due to the heists slowly becoming DC clones of figuring out the tricks going on instead of just letting the heist happen and staying within Kaito's perspective.
#Like. I do wonder how much better things would have been if all we got#Was Aoko talking about her mom. And then Kaito wondering what will happen#Him picking up on the clues /he/ needs to deal with her and Naka#And us not knowing exactly what he's planning nor seeing Midoriko until the heist#I don't mind the other characters being there but. I don't need to follow the detective pov in my thief story#The DC-ified heists I do think could be fixed by just. Keeping the focus where its supposed to be; for the most part#Back when Sun Halo came out I even said it would have flowed better if we purely focused on Kaito and Aoko#And then when Hakuba shows up at the end; do a flashback to show how he got there#It doesnt fix everything; but itd make the chapters a whole lot more palatable#(But I'm sure that'd mess up Gosho's chapter by chapter structure somehow idk)#I miss old Mk's stories where anything could happen but you're always meant to support Kaito
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i like overthink everything now it makes me feel so dumb. i used 2 be able to just talk 2 ppl but nowadays every single thing im like Is that actually going to make them hate me. Yes probably. and then i just dont respond which makes ppl hate me. this is how it is
#ive been overthinking 1 light and casual mildly funny response to something but im worried itll come off as disrespectful and dismissive And#make me seem stupid and uncaring all at the same time. and also be seen as insulting. but like idt itd be insulting right like. im not#saying what it is so ig for all you guys know im like I mean if i say All your shit suck ball and i hateit kys. <- thats not the thing i was#going to say#like it doesnt matter now the window for response is closed now but i feel stupid bc i shouldve just said it it was light and casual. im so#bad at keeping convos gojng im convinced im not going to survive. In like a light and casual way like in a He will not make it through the#winter joke way. dw. im not going to do anything bc i had One failed interaction. if i was going to do anythjng itd be bc of the 8000000#other failed interactions. But im not. anyways. it just makes me feel so useless 😭 like i want to respond i want to talk to ppl so bad but#i feel like i mess things up Irreparably every time i speak OR i take too LONG overthinking my response and then i just cant respond bc its#been too long and then its been 3 years and the only messages ive ever sent r my intro message and 1 message 2 years ago that nobody#responded to at all. or the conversation stopped immediately after. and like i used to be better at this i was lkke. talkative in a couple#muts servers like. i talked 2 ppl daily in those servers and i had fun and like. I was an important part of the group and i felt like it#but i just feel like such an outsider for Everything and its literally my fault bc i cant just like. Talk. The explosion. bc im always like#im gonna try im gonna do it this time im gonna get it back im going to finally be Good connor and im going to fix it all and make a Good#solid friend group and ill find HEALTHY LOVE and i wont selfsabotage and ill move out and have a job and ill balance it well and ill start#all my hobbies and ill have a great routine and be so loveable and on top of it and not stressed and content and happy and roll with the#punches and then theres a single hiccup and im like Well fuckinf whatever im going to be an unemployed hermit forever and im going to die b4#im 25 anyways so Who cares and also im digging a little hole for myself. and its like. AUGHH ik i just have to persevere and overcome but#even saying that feels so stupid its not fucking hard its Talking to ppl. like. i literally if ive ever said a word to you i had to think#avt it and strategize how to respond right even for like. like. it makes it sound like its not genuine it is#like for example i want to say hey i love your art! but then i freak out and im like thats not normal thats like a rly generic comment they#hear that all the time theyll thjnk im being polite and my brains like hrmmm rewrite Your art changed my life. It shaped me. Ill never be#the same. Nad im like ok too far overcorrected go back and the sentence generator is like Your art has colors 💯 like. GOD. WHY IS IT SO#difficult. and then usually i either just dont say anythinf and feel awful abt it 4ever OR i send it on anon and then i spend like 15#minutes ibsessively slightly tweaking the apelling and capitalization and punctuation to make sure it doesnt seem like its me just in case#it Is the worst possible thing to say but then i see the response and itll be like AWWW TYSM :] THIS MEANS A LOT or whathaveyou and i feel#stupid bc i couldve just Told them this to their face and it wouldve been a good positive interaction we had. but instead i had 2 hide and#tyoe entirely differently so they couldnt sniff me from my typing style. and it soesnt even feel like the thanks is actually 4 me bc i#tweaked the message sm. and it still makes me happy that the oersons hapoy but its like. that couldve been a nice mutual interaction#like not that i need a personal ty i compliment ppl when i Want to compliment ppl and when its genuine yk. i dont do it so i get mutualpoint
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a man contemplating how to feasibly knick a 35 pound tincan from his captain without getting the shit beat out of him by said captain
and hes about 10 seconds away from reenacting raccoon stealing catfood shenanigans
absolutely hysterical hes giving the cup that look after he stole it from sasha and had to give it back beforehand
LIKE GIRL BE A LITTLE MORE SUBTLE
#luosty shenanigans...#he is but a raccoon to me#i think a lot about luosty going “its all yours” and changing it halfway through to “its your day”#so instead we get the amalgamation that is “its all your day”#becasue i think luosty would rather die than give up the cup actually#its a big shiny thing and by god will you have to pry it from his cold dead hands#i think its really funny that sasha hops between luosty and lundy#in that sense that if hes acting a little nice to one of them he'll be mean to the other#aka sasha letting lundy hold the cup first (before the stunt) because he knew itd been way too long since he held it#and he decided to be nice to him for a bit by giving it to him#(despite the fact lundy immediately messed up afterwards after being given grace for a few seconds because boys are dumb)#and then teasing luosty by going “i didnt give him the cup but he took it anyways” and then going “okay give it back m”#it aint easy work babysitting two brats with no mikksy around but sasha will hold the fort down until then#(his patience shall tested to unimaginable lengths until then. godspeed.)
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im the front desk lead so i get to boss front desk people around (i hate it im so bad at being authoritative) but it also means i have to make slightly passive aggressive messages in the work chat like once a month about things ive already asked them multiple times to stay on top of but its so annoying the more i tell them and the more they just Dont do it SKJSLKAD im trying so hard to make this message look like im not mad and that im not trying to be the bitchy manager type and i dont want it to sound like im talking down to them but also like its part of ur job i shouldnt be one of the only ones doing this PLUS I SHOULDNT HAVE TO KEEP REMINDING U TO DO THIS DFJLKSLDKS
#n i still do everything i preach btw im not one of those bossy shift leads that make everyone work while i just sit on my ass the whole time#(i mean i dont think itd get done if i didnt do it anyway but thats not the point HAHAHA)#i think like one other person actually listens to me JKDJSLAS i love her tho shes great#on 1 hand i dont want them to be annoyed at me (for asking them to do their job) but on the other hand IM annoyed that i have to even ask😭#because believe it or not almost everyone here gets mad when a team lead asks them to do smth instead of letting them sit on their phone lo#walking into my opening shift seeing everything look hella messy STRESSES ME OUTTTT like damn bitch u live like this HAHA#like i'll come back after 3 days of not working and its just a mess JDJFLS other ppl are like omg kat it was a disaster everythings so bad#like ?? am i like the only person actually doing shit here????? am i the glue holding this position together JSJDLSAJDSL bROOOO#ik this sounds so much like the closing shift vs opening shift 'a single dust spec? erm who closed last night🤨☝️' tiktokts but alsooooo#as someone who closes AND opens i'm allowed to say what i want HAHAA ive been on both arguments here LMFAO#like closing is supposed to make it look nice for when we open becauseeeee opening shifts START like 15-30min before we open doors#its not like opening shift can get that all done in time on top of actually getting things read to open...#whatever i'll be gone for 2 weeks lets see if it all goes up in flames HAHAHA#trials and tribulations of kats work life
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I was not meant for retail I was meant to be an eldritch librarian's assistant
#luka.txt#job tag#we had a mini blackout at work#which fucked w our systems#so my manager couldnt log into the self check out#and the registers couldnt take cards#OF COURSE this all happened right before i left#and the guy i was checking out didnt speak english very well so it was hard explain everything to him#and a line was forming#and my manager was on the other register so i had to wait for her to finish#ooihh my god it was just a Mess and i was very Overstimulated#i was there from 2:30-8 i just wanted to go home#AND THEN the site used to clock in/out wasnt working#i just left at that point like I opened tomorrow ill deal with it then#ugh i OPEN tomorrow fuck. gotta deal w that bs at 9am in the morning#bc lord knows these dumbasses are gonna come back at the buttfuck of dawn for their returns 🙄😒#sometimes i wanna quit#and/or find a new job#but i do like it most of the time#abd what a pain itd be to learn a new store#plus i like my coworkers#SIGH. why couldnt i have been born on earth i and work at emorys library. sir. save me. rn.
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(credits to ssruis)
This song is the only thing keeping me going I do not play about mr showtime 😞 nothing ruined me (made my life better) the way this song did
(Sendn. Me songs to do this with in my ask box… sniffle…)
#circuses? heh.. yeah.. im familiar… jesters? oh#even better…. rellakinoko? now hold on this is already gonna be good… tsukasa tenma? im sold. the fish has been captured. im followinf the#sirens into the deepest parts of the sea and wont be coming back. Unfortunately i had gotten t1k (t571) on ensekai for phoenix and am still#bitter about it. Emu and nene came home but the ugly blonde didnt. This is why we’re having problems tsukasa#i have a mr showtime themed custom profile that needs to be finished aand i gotta work on my one for#tsukasa4#ill be more prepared for that one im certain of it#knocking on wood#PRAYING.#t500 would have been nice you know… unfortunately i ran out of resources.#i think the amount of time and love ive poured into making everything abt this event makes up for this though. Also this is gonna sound#obnoxious but i feel like one of the five people who actually. You know. Get the event. Like its importance which ill elaborate on in a#future post. Everybody wants to talk about this event but nobody wants to read the story#and the side stories Guysss ur missing out its so good when youre not forcing urself to think tsukasa has an ed and dont even know a single#thing abt acting yet believe one google search can prove that method acting is Absolutely Totally Going To Ruin His Life#i dont think fasting was alright it was pretty stupid but what he did doesnt make him have an ed or this or that#I do think you should be very. Very careful with method acting by the way. That can mess you up. But i dont think thats where theyll be#taking tsukasa in the future. Yes itd be nice to show the risks and get a You know be careful but its not as dark and This is gonna ruin hi#😞😨My poor baby!! As people think#omg i got sidetracked LET ME TALK ABT THE BINGO???1?1? Easily distracted ass#Uhm. Where do i begin. Nvm i dont wanna write too much more but this song truly does mean the world to me#And rella’s art is so goood my eyes are always glued to it. For some reason i keep having trouble fcing the expert chart for it on ensekai#ut was just fine on jpsekai. Frowny face. I could listen to the song all day though#Those instrumentals are popping offff i tell you#hidden circus#wonderlands x showtime#wxs#wansho#commissioned song#prsk
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Man and I'm gonna a have to go to my damned psychological testing initial interview like this. It sucks ass.
#speculation nation#im an anxious mess bc potential health reasons and also i got stood up.#still dont know why. hard to know when they havent replied all day :]#im scared something happened and im scared it's something i did wrong#and im scared for my fucking health bc it's been doing some weird shit lately.#but i have my initial psychological testing interview in an hour and i dont really know what to expect from it.#i played my samurai game and it was fun i guess but itd be more fun if i wasnt checking discord every 5 minutes#just to be disappointed upon seeing theres Still no fucking reply.#this sucks ass man. this sucks so bad. im trying to not be an asshole about it but it really does hurt.#2 hours later and 0 reply. what the fuck am i supposed to think??? i dont even fucking know.#ive had a pit in my stomach for about 3 hours now and it's not going away.#but im gonna have to go to the damned psychological testing and talk about why my brain's bad. fml.#negative/
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cops disbanded forever because the attempted arrest of a skeleton and a cat resulted in the cars being crushed by their huge tits
let's get arrested. together.
#ask#raidendotcom#i hope i dont regret typing that one day#my brains a mess cause i was talking to a friend while listening to waynes novelai stream. i have a slight headache#as i was talking to them i could feel as if what i was typing was starting to become gibberish#i am still recovering#raiden do you think itd be cool if kiryu had big naturals. sorry ive been watching a lot of yakuza videos.#or would majima be more befitting#their astral game must be off the charts i think.#sorry raiden if you cant answer. but im diffefent. whatevrer#after answering this im going back to watching yakuza kiwami 2#the ragdolls in the game offput me a little bit but i think throwing them off the screen makes up for it#though the battle music keeps fucking me up cause its the one they used in the one scene in the grand of yakuza 0#its a good song but it feels like it should only be played that once#so hearing the piano for thugs and yakuza on the streets everytime is offputting#but i dont mind it as much now that im getting use to watching it#im excited for yakuza 8 and the other game that comes out this year involving joryu#anyway i didnt mean to hyperfixate on yakuza while were talking about our fucking bobbies. im SORRY#thank you for the ask boobies. i mean breasts. i mean raiden. smile. then evil smile. :) >:) <- for reference
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I think whats worse is i have 3 build a bears that need new birth certificates and theres no way I can just walts in there with all 3 of them at once meaning I have to take at least 2 trips to a place I rarely go thats an hour away
#sassy speaks#babw#its not the end of the world tbh 2 of them need other stuff done anyways#one of them has a broken voice box and the other ones very old and very well loved and could use a restuffing#its just annoying i wish i had a workshop closer to me#actually its a good thing I dont tbh id be going broke way faster#unrelated but itd be fun to have them all on a shelf with their certificates hanging behind them AUOGH#since I have 0 space on my bed to have all of them out at once#like I have 16 and that doesnt count babies/smallfrys/lils/any other name tiny build a bears have gone by#and I have WAY more non babw plush i wish I could keep them all out but i just have no space#im so glad I got most of my certificates when I go my bears tho I have ones with bearville stuff one them#i havent been to a physical workshop for a while do they still have that big touchscreen in the middle#where you give them personality traits and stuff#i miss the good ol days where they had those keyboard with the gel thing on top#and the wash station......#if im remembering right the wash station last time i went was the aforementioned big touchscreen#i miss the one with the air blowing out of it.....#the bear I got last time i went into a workshop to get was stuffed SO stiff for some reason the stuffer was not messing around
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i think that etsy listing of a kenner kitty plush that sold for TEN DOLLARS is going to literally haunt me until the end of my days btw
#I SHOULDVE BEEN MORE VIGILANT CLUTCHES HEAD. as a reminder she usually sells for hundreds and thats IF you can even find a listing#i actually dont think ive managed to find a single active listing full stop. like itd be one thing if i found some that i just couldnt#afford but shes so impossible to find at all#i need to pick the project back up where i try to make her from scratch but im intimidated by messing it up and having it come out looking#wrong im SOOO PICKY WITH HER#the comfort she provides me is unreal so if i do make her it has to be perfect#heavy is the head that bears the crown (the crown is being absurdly attached to a plush that just happens to be super super rare)#mumbling#edit: the being super super picky about her is why i havent ever drawn her btw (not including the kinsona hes different)#ive tried a couple times to draw her but im not capable yet of getting her vibe right
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goddamn i gotta figure out what the hell my horrortale self insert does in the underground. i know everything about their life before that and HOW they get there but i have no idea what the fuck they do once theyre actually DOWN there
also i ran out of tags im saying this here as an addition so you know why they just sorta end abruptly. lol. everyone say thank you to my habit of talking in the tags cause i dont want people to see the shit i say
#cherry chats#i wrote down all their rich lore i dont think i ever posted it and i doubt i ever will#not cause i dont wanna in fact its the opposite but itd basically be a huge trauma dump and theres not a person on earth whod wana hear that#and i also wouldnt wanna subject anyone to that cause its not really their problem lol#not that i mind talking about it or whatever. but still itd put whoever this theoretical person im tellin it to in an uncomfortable position#so eh ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ bottom line is evil shit hospital -> escapes and is chased up the mountain -> jumps down a big hole lawl#but anyway i have no idea what the fuck they do once theyre down there#i mightve said this already but theyre really resilient towards the conditions down there? theyve never eaten real food and they dont feel#hunger (arfid yo 👍) so if you tried to give them proper food theyd be like. i dont know what to do with this ?#and theyre used to the cold cause of how shit that goddamn hospital was so even when theyre going through snowdin barefoot theyre like.#ok this is fine ^_^#theyre also used to physical pain and also theyre on 800 different messed up meds so if they get hurt that hardly bothers them#its like. a numb sort of pain. like the phantom pains you get when you get injured or killed in a dream#they also think sans is really funny even when he tries to get under their skin with morbid humor#their whole existence is basically morbid so theyre just like hehehe ^_^ your funny#BUT NONE OF THAT EXPLAINS WHAT THE HELL THEY DO IN THE UNDERGROUND!!!!!!!!!#i guess for starters theres no way theyd ever wanna go BACK to the surface so jot that down#i guess. maybe since they wouldnt have access to the medication and drugs theyre always on theyd change?#i think theyd go from a foggy detached empty dissociative state to being actually AWARE for once#after theyve been there for a little while maybe theyd even start. brace yourselves. FEEL things#like uh. emotions. and stuff like that#so instead of an empty miserable shell theyd be able to experience excitement or curiosity. or the human emotion called friendship#do they……… live with sans and papyrus? thatd make the most sense i guess#also thats the only place theyd be safe from being eaten alive lol#i guess they could live with toriel? maybe they go back to the ruins after theyve escaped#but then they couldnt hang out with sans and papyrus as much. and thats lame#maybe they live with the skelebros under the guise of being some sort of weird. pet or something#ummm. nah……. thats weird#ok so i guess i dont know what the hell my self insert does in the underground only how they change when they grt there. whatever#its not like im a WRITER. i dont know all this stuff what do you thinj i am omniscient????
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cw sh
its taking literally everything in me and then some to not fucking open a fucking vein or two. i just cant do this shit anymore. whats the point. whenever i think its getting better it just gets fucking worse.
#j’s a bloody mess#just. why is it like this. why am i a goddamn failure. why am i a fuck up? why am i so damn selfish? why cant i just not be.#i really wonder- if i were to ask them now. would they take it back?#i cant help but keep thinking that they want me dead. i know theyd be better off at least. maybe its because they said that before. this.#thats why i wonder. if theyd even care or notice.#i text them (literally) religiously and all. but maybe itd be nice if i just stopped. so they wouldnt have to act like they care and shit.#part of me really wants to ask them for reassurance. but at the same time. that wouldbe kinda stupid huh?#i guess thats why im writing it on here instead.#wanna stop being so selfish. but i cant even hate myself for it without feeling selfish! bs stg#i have no ideas. i barely respond to my friends (even though i want to). i cant draw i cant write. i cant even hurt myself to a satisfactor#-point. so whats the fucking point to this shit? “itll get better” but ive been saying that for months now.#dont wanna reach out because i dont want to burden anyone even if they say im not. but also want help. but wanting help is selfish. i dont#need help right? im normal and just lying. but why does being normal hurt so much. why have i felt better if this is normal? why cant#esctacy be permanent. why was it so good to begin with and why cant i replicate it?#im so sorry for everything.
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Beating down the intrusive thoughts by going "I don't do that anymore" every time my brain tells me to kms
#look anika's talking!#to be more specific it wasnt so much the thought as like. whenever id think that id either saying it out loud or mime shooting myself#as a way to externalise the thought to get it to stop looping in my head. cause otherwise itd just keep going#but the external shit started messing with me too so i just decided ''i dont do that anymore“ so thinking that kinda shuts down the impulse#suicide mention#truly im not suicidal + never have been its just The Thoughts yk#tw sui ideation
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Every now and then I remember that oni in fact will eventually have more lore added and I get so excited and scared for a moment and then I remember that it could take months until we see any of that and I proceed to forget abt it again and the cycle repeats
#rat rambles#oni posting#now it does sadden me a smidge that itll probably be in paid dlc but thats a problem for future me#the bright side of new lore is new lore#the downside of new lore is the eternal fear of canon jackie and olivia designs#not because Im opposed to them getting canon designs its just so scary#like what if klei made them white how would I move forward from that#and its not even a situation where I can say with any level of confidence if they would or not because god if I fucking know#like they have until very recently seemingly deliberately avoided including anything Too lore relevant in any animated trailers#but that can kind of just be explained by well. the fact that most of those updates didn't include any lore.#and those that do involve it stay strictly in the dupes perspective#so I can't rly use that as any sign that theyre deliberately avoiding giving olivia and jackie canon designs#I would highly prefer they dont get designs even without fear of designs I dislike mostly because narratively it just works better that way#but hey its not up to me so whatever happens happens#I mostly assume future lore is going to mostly relate to the dupe donors we havent met yet and elaborating on some of the ones we have seen#but dont see a lot of if anything at all#I hope they dont mess with jackie and olivia too much but I do think itd be nice to give jackie just a smidge more like Ive talked abt#and other than that I could see them adding maybe new story traits and if they're feeling real generous more dupe lore#oh and if we're mega lucky we could get a dr.holland first name#honestly I hope that for dr.holland specifically they either just do a hard name drop and move on or just dont touch him#rly my main concern with any added oni lore is I Really dont want them to start telling us too much#I really really like all of our information being very fragmented and unclear as it adds to the post end of the world vibe rly well#and this is in fact a problem that they had in older versions of the story that they seemingly went out of their way to solve#so I rly want to have faith that they wont fuck it up but I have been burned before and oni has yet to have fully earn my trust#its not far off tho just the scrapped logs themselves give me faith that they are aware what story theyre writing and what needs done#again the scrapped logs are cool but would have dampened the narrative quite significantly from how straight forward they are#so them being full one scrapped early on makes me hopeful that they realized that too#rly I just dont want too much expansion on the stuff we already know#some names and work ids would be splendid and Im all for new fragments to try to place in the timeline#I just dont want a log where nikola stares at the camera and monologues abt the duplicant project or smth
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urghhhh..
#dr has given me a choice whether to try a different long acting (elvanse) or a short acting 2-3x daily (unspecified) instead of concerta#i dont knooow. long acting is more convenient for me bc i work long days and dont rly wanna have to take meds in w me#plus my lunch break has to be flexible so itd be hard to be consistent abt taking a 2nd short acting dose in the day..#but also long acting is more likely to mess w my sleep like concerta did innit.#well i dunno. ik ppl have different responses to each so we'll see. itd probably be good to at least have tried both#ill make a decision and let her know tomorrow im too tired and irritable to write any more emails today#sorry for going on abt this stuff so much typing just helps me think#also i think part of the reason i had such a bad time on concerta is probably bc when the acid reflux got rough i took rennie to deal w it#but antacids actually interact w stimulants lmao i did not know that and it wasnt in the info i was given. well.#would be nice if it DIDNT give me acid reflux and nausea in the first place tho... and i dont think i can tolerate either of those-#without my best friend rennie anyway so i guess it just wasnt to be#im leaning towards elvanse first i can always try short acting if it doesnt help i guess#and then possibly non stimulants if that doesnt help either. its not the end of the road yet ive just been dramatic abt it..#sighs loud enough to blow down a little pigs house. okay im gonna chill in bed and sleep early tonight i procrastinated sleeping too-#much yesterday and thats probably why ive been so irritable today yeurgh. love u guys byebye#.diaries
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