#it's... questionable whether it wouldn't be still better if he could just heal

[i-can-even-burn-salad]

🔮 Crystal Ball- What kind of future does your OC want to have? What would they do to make it real? - for Eilis

🟢 Green- What is considered a weakness in your OC that is actually a strength? What is a strength in your character that can be twisted into a weakness? - for Finn

Thank you for the ask! From this ask game.

🔮 Crystal Ball- What kind of future does your OC want to have? What would they do to make it real? - for Eilis

Really, she just wants to live her life as it is now, with Finnian at her side. She obviously would never keep him from leaving if he wanted to, but to protect him, she would do anything, including murder (again! :D)

She would like some more financial security so they will always be sure to have enough food for the winter. She'd also like to figure out how to return to all her fabric crafts. The loom is unlikely to be a problem, but she can't use the drop spindle anymore, and a spinning wheel is expensive. Perhaps she'll even get a sheep or two! (But she'd have to make sure they can get enough hay n stuff for winter.)

She'll just have to work extra hard and sell what she can, and save as much as she can.

🟢 Green- What is considered a weakness in your OC that is actually a strength? What is a strength in your character that can be twisted into a weakness? - for Finn

Perhaps it is that because he could not use his magic and he has been on his own for years, he learned much more about traditional healing methods, and how to gather plants and prepare things someone at the temple would just call a herbalist for. He is good at traditional healing, just can't see it because he compares himself to an impossible standard.

On the other hand, he has a tendency to push through pain and exhaustion, and then crash that much harder afterwards, which, Finn, plz, stop. He also definitely had moments where he hated his magic for keeping him alive against his will, but that turned out well... eventually.

And of course the most cliche answer possible for both questions: he'd do absolutely anything for Eilis, even finding a will to live xD but if something happened to her. Well. That wouldn't be a happy end.

[deceitfuldevout]

First and Last

Dark!Tom (The Party 2017) x ExWife!Reader

Word Count: +3,234

Warning(s): +18, Non con, ANGST, Domestic violence, Mentions of overdose/overdosing, Drug usage, Addiction, Forced drug usage, Heavy domestic violence, Forced breeding Accidental OD, Really long because I don't have a life.

Author's note(s): I wanted to post this before my trip. Idk if I want to make this into a 2 part series maybe if its good than ye 😃

You run into your soon-to-be ex-husband at a friend's party. He's determined to get a second chance. But some things never change. 

You met Tom in college. Both of you were part of the same friend group and would see each other often. He was persistent in pursuing you. Eventually mustering up the courage to ask you out. You said yes because you fell for him first. But it was Tom who fell harder. He was your first love, first kiss, first everything. After a year of dating, he finally pops the question. Everything seemed to be going fine at first. 

That was almost a decade ago. He's not the same man you fell in love with. Something inside him changed. There were times where you were unsure whether it was the drugs talking or how he truly felt. He would try to hide it but failed miserably. You can't remember how many times you've found his stash, which always resulted in an argument. You were sick of his excuses. It eventually got worse with his intake. He would arrive home half sober. You were sick of seeing him waste away like this. You remember finally deciding that enough was enough. 

After catching him at home for the fifth time, you decide to take action into your own hands. In a fit of anger, you retrieve his hidden stash and flush it down the toilet. When Tom found out his reaction wasn't what you had predicted. Not at all. He dragged you to the bathroom and demanded to know where his supply went. It was the first time he'd ever laid his hands on you. Instead of apologizing for bringing them home, Tom held you in a chokehold until you told him where they were.  

Never in your life would you imagine Tom of all people reacting in such a way. When you finally confess what had happened, he loses his temper. It terrified you how strong he became while under the influence. You were no match for his drug-fueled rage. Your wrist is still sore from how he held you down last week. There were bruises that were still healing for all the times before. But this one had been the worst punishment yet. He left you there on the bathroom floor, naked and sore. Tom hadn't bothered to look your way. He zips up his pants before leaving in search of his next 'fix'.  

That wasn't the first time he put his hands on you, but it was the first time you had left him. You received a string of desperate phone calls, voicemails, text messages all from Tom. You returned home to find him on his knees with a bouquet in hand and tears in his eyes. He apologized and promised to be a better man for you. That was shortly lived. When you arrived home from a late shift, you caught Tom using it again. This time it was different, you found Tom overdosing. You lunged towards him, "Tom?! Tom!" cradling his head in your hands, holding him close. It was the first time you've caught him. A part of you feared this wouldn't be the last.  

Tom had tried to make it up with sex, but you couldn't be around him anymore. You felt almost revolted how he didn't care. Having him around only reminds you of the pain. This time instead of throwing a fit, yelling, or crying. You simply packed all your things and left. What could you do with a man who refuses to change? Leave. You left for your mother's place, finally accepting that it wasn't your fault. 

The divorce papers were mailed to him. For a while now, Tom knew there was something wrong with him. He was just too stubborn to admit it. You'd spoken with a lawyer and there was a court date issued. In a few months from now, you will no longer be referred to as husband and wife.  

For the first time in years, you've finally let the feeling of guilt go. No longer were you going to let this define who you were. You weren't a failure as a wife. Because it was never your fault in the first place. Soon enough you were doing the things you loved again, even began to pick up a few new hobbies. That spark of joy began to return. You started dressing up in nicer clothes, going out, actually spending quality time with friends and family.  

Sometimes there would be a moment when you'd feel for Tom and wonder what he'd be up to. But then again did you really want to know? It would usually be the same thing, him being higher than a kite. Still, you couldn't help but mourn at the loss of your marriage. When you were young and promised to love each other until your very last breath. You still loved Tom, but he loved other things more. 

You were looking forward to your old college friend's New Year's party. A healthy dosage of socializing to get you out there again. You had the opportunity to catch up with everyone there. It felt as though no time had passed. You danced around, joined in some games, things were going well. But there was a lingering feeling that someone, somewhere was staring at you.  

That's when you spot him, Tom, sitting quietly at the end of the room. Your breath hitches at the sight of him twiddling his thumbs. There's a part of you that regrets not filing a restraining order. Tom always had a habit of showing up unannounced. You weren't in the mood for whatever he had to say. So, you left his sight, down the hall, to the nearest restroom. 

You sat on the counter, removing your heels for a moment. A groan escapes your lips as you rub both feet, knowing very well they would ache in the morning. Shit, you were really gonna feel that. You splash your face a few times, hoping that it would combat the summer heat. Completely unaware of the sound of the door opening. It was as if you knew who was behind you, turning around to find Tom leaning against the door. You gave him a glare, "Get out," you were in no mood for his emotional ambush. He ignores your request and calmly states, "I just want to talk to my wife," 

"We're not--" 

"Legally, yes, we are," he corrects. Always so condescending. It was one of the things you couldn't stand. How he would belittle your intelligence. It was the little remarks he'd make to shut down any effort you gave. He made you feel unwanted. He was the one who decided to push you away first.  

If only he could see past his own selfishness that you truly wanted to save this marriage. But in order to do so, he would need to admit that it was an ongoing problem. You didn't have to worry about a mistress, no. You had to worry everyday about finding him dead. You've caught him overdosing a few times. It eventually took a toll on you. To the point where you lost weight from the stress. Tom rakes his hand through his locks, "Of course you don't want to see me, nothing ever satisfies you," a snarky remark to try and get under your nerves.  

With the amount of alcohol in your system, it worked, "Are you kidding me?" you scoff, "Don't you dare lie to me Thomas, I tried everything, everything to fix us, can you say the same?" you growl in his face. Maybe it was the liquid courage that gave you a whole new attitude. Whatever it is helped with confronting him. His reaction, however, was not what you expected.

He smothers you into a deep kiss, pulling you into his embrace. You try shoving at him in an attempt to catch breath. Finally breaking free from his grip. For a moment, he's seems visibly hurt. You scold, "What you wrong with you?!" it wasn't fair. After all the hurt you've been through, Tom still tries to insert himself into your life.  

You deserved better. You try to shove him away. Instead, he shoves you against the wall, "Can't you see..." he presses his sweaty cheek against the crook of your neck, "You're my everything..." his voice sounding more desperate with each word. You scoff, "No, Tom, you can't do this..." tears began to brim, threatening to spill. His eyes are filled with worry, "No...now, baby please don't cry..." his expression is saddened but there are no tears. He kisses each cheek, ignoring your sniffling. Tom held you in place by the shoulders, "I couldn't stop thinking about you," it's true. You were his first love.  

Tom had longed to see his wife again. To feel her, touch her, caress and worship every part of her. He wanted to make things right, truly. But she just got up and left him. Like he was trash. What made her so high and mighty? He's so sick of seeing you always playing the role of a saint. For once he wants to see you get downright nasty with him. His breathing became frantic, "Can't you see? I'm addicted to you," there's a mischievous look on his face that you were more than familiar with.  

You place a cautious hand in front to create distance, "Tom, listen to me, you’re high right now, you're not in the right--" you were muffled by his hand, "No! No! Listen to me!" his voice booms. His sudden mood swing scares you. So much so that your nails dig into his wrist. He hisses in pain, "Stop it! Just stop!" he grits his teeth. When he releases his grip the first thing you do is make a run for it. But before you could even set foot out of the restroom you're pulled back by the hair. You fell on your back, hitting the marble floor.  

It sends the air out of your lungs. That's when you start crying, shriveling up into a ball, begging for him to stop. This was how your arguments always ended. Tom crouches down, "Oh...baby I'm so sorry..." He grabs a towel, pushing it against the bottom of the door to ensure that it's soundproofed. He then pulls you into a hug, locking his arms around your waist. Tom rocks you in his embrace, "Please...please don't cry shh.." He doesn't want to see anymore tears spill. He's thankful for the music being loud enough to muffle your cries. He lifted you onto the counter.  

You look down at the floor, refusing to look him in the eyes. Tom presses his forehead against yours. His eyelids flutter shut, "Let me make this right..." he reaches into his pocket, pulling out a small bag, "Here... this'll help with the nerves," he swipes his fingers on his tongue before dipping it in. He swirls it a few times, coating the digits with the white powder.

When he brings it to your mouth you turn away with disgust, smacking his hand off, "Get it the fuck away from me! You fucking tweaker!" you claw at him. He's hurt by your words. How could you? He really is trying to stop. It's harder than it looks. He's tried just about anything you could name to fix his marriage. Nothing, not a damn thing worked. Every time he'd come running back to that same euphoric feeling. When you left, he started using it again, more than ever.  

If only he could get you to try it out, then maybe, you'd understand. He presses you against the counter, using his bodyweight to hold you in place. You sob, "Please...please Tommy...don't do this..." he grips both of your wrists, ignoring your pleas. He looks at you with a maddening look in his eyes. You knew he was out of it. There was always that nothingness behind his irises. To think that this man was once your devoted husband.  

He muffles your cries with a clean hand. He has an idea for the other. Tom hisses, “M’gonna make you take it, make you feel really good...” he reaches in between your legs, pushing aside the lace. Tom brings the snow coated fingers to your folds. He bites his bottom lip, concentrating on finding your opening. He slowly starts to insert them, ignoring your cries and pleas for him to stop. Tom starts pumping his coated fingers in and out of your channel.

You let out a muffled scream under his palm. Stray tears falling down and landed on his wrist. He felt almost bad, but you'll understand soon enough where he's coming from. Just wait and see. You'll love it as much as he does. Fuck, every vein in his body felt like it was on fire. It's easier getting hard while using, too easy. His dick almost hurts form how hard it was. He spat a wad on the tip, coating it with a bit of snow before hovering it over your folds. He presses it against your opening.

A wide grin spreads on his face, "Sh...please...don't flinch sweetheart I just wanted to feel... can I feel my own wife's pussy?" He moans. A mewl escapes your lips. Tom chuckles, he knew you'd love it as much as he does. His hands grip your neck, he doesn't know how strong he's squeezing, not while he's using. It felt nice feeling you clench on his length. He’s on an adrenaline high right now. He’s not going to stop anytime soon.

He rapidly thrusts his hips in and out your channel, indulging in the feeling. Two of his most favorite things combined. Oh, how he’s missed you. Tom picks up his pace. He leans down to plant wet, sloppy kisses across your bare neck. He retreats his lips, groaning against your ear, “I promise you I'll make up for everything, I'll even give you a baby like you've always wanted...” He knows it’s the one thing you’ve always wanted to be. A mother.  

Your eyes shoot wide open as you scream into his palm to stop. Tom pops a pill in his mouth. He swishes it around a few times before forcing your mouth to open. He removes his palm only for a moment, before shoving it inside. It's too much, too much...You felt like you were flying, no, falling? Your heart couldn't stop beating and every single last one of your limbs felt like jelly. A visible vein bulges on the corner of your temple. Only a faint gargle leaves your lips, "F-fuck...T-tom...please..” sniffling for him to stop.

He coos, “M'gonna give you a baby, ok? then we'll be a happy family..." He sighs in admiration. Fuck, you looked so beautiful. Always so compliant. Don’t worry, he’s going to make sure you’ll never get rid of him, “This was mine the day I put that ring on that finger..." He finishes with a roar, coating your insides with his spunk. Tom is almost satisfied, almost. He doesn’t want to waste a single drop. He carefully removes his cock from your channel, plugging you back up with his fingers.  

Tom takes the small baggie. He coats it with your arousal. A deep moan escapes his lips, "Just hide it for me, yeah, can you do that love?" Two of his fingers are buried deep into your channel, he scissors them apart a few times, testing the waters. Then he starts to push it in. You were too buzzed to even fight him off.

His fingers have always caressed that spot you just couldn't quite reach. Tom sighs, “Beautiful...fucking beautiful...” words that he hasn't used in years. Tom throws his coat on the floor. He carefully places you on it, taking no note of the blank expression on your face. He hadn’t noticed your eyes rolling back. He pressed his head against the door to hear if anyone was lurking. If the coast was clear, he could leave.

He places a chaste kiss on your cheek before leaving, placing a tie on the doorknob to ensure no one would wander inside. Tom prepares his car for the both of you. If you were thinking of escaping him, think again. He would keep you hidden until you were surely pregnant. You’ll have a part of him with you forever. He returns to the house with a pep in his step, opening the door to find you still lying on the ground.

That’s when Tom finally notices the faint frothing on the corners of your mouth. He crouches down, “No...” he should’ve seen this coming. You weren’t used to any kind of drug. You’ve never smoked a day in your life. Tom pulls you into his arms, “No no no no...no please...” he shook your unconscious form, “Please! Stay with me!” he shook harder, “Please! Fuck!” Finally breaking down. Tom couldn’t imagine spending the rest of his life without you. For it to actually come true was his biggest nightmare, “Please! Don’t leave me!” He rocks both of you back and forth.

Tom tries his best to control his breathing, reaching into his pocket. He calls the one person he knows would help, "Lenn...I'm in deep shit," he chokes. Tom prays that his brother can make it on time. For years now, Lenny had been the one covering up for his little brother. He could hear Tom on the other end of the phone, “She--she’s not waking up...” That’s when Lenny races out his office in search of his twin, "Tom, listen to me, where are you?"

Whatever shit his little brother has gotten into this time, he better hope it doesn’t ruin his record. Lenny hadn't spent years in law enforcement just to lose it all in one day. If word got out that the local detective’s own brother was a tweaker, he’d have to kiss that promotion goodbye. However, Lenny isn’t going to let him get away so easily. Unlike Tom, his brother is colder, more calculated than emotional. He's always surpassed him in every way possible. Well, almost. Lenny hates to admit it, but Tom had the one thing he finally beat him at, you.  

You were the color added to his life. Without you his world was just...black and white.

[baldursgate3tempobsessed]

Hi hi!!! I just found your blog and I love how you wrote Astarion. I have a small request if you're still taking them!

Because of Halsin's one line about how his wildshape is hard to repress I have a headcanon that certain druidic animal forms get triggered by certain emotions. So what if a druid Tav was hurt or scared and got stuck in animal form, and Astarion had to calm them down long enough for them to shift back/get healed

Aww, I like this. But some TW: The reason for them being hurt/scared is fucked and involves dead children. I killed off some NPCs for this one (but they live in the real game I swear!) Also set in Act 2, after he confesses. Just so you know! Don't trigger yourself for this.

~

There was a reason that Astarion always tried to convince you to not leave him behind at camp. Mostly because it could be dreadfully boring, doing nothing but sitting there waiting for your return. But also because he didn't like being out of the loop. There had been many moments, too many, where he had been the sole reason you were still standing. Whether that be stabbing someone in the back who held a dagger to your throat or being the one to help you back on your feet from the brink of death, Astarion had gotten very good at keeping you alive.

He didn't trust anyone to watch out for you the way he could, a belief that was instantly strengthened when the group came back. With you nowhere to be seen. It was only Halsin and Shawdowheart, beaten and bloodied as they limped their way forward.

The sight of them had Astarion on his feet in an instant, an awful feeling settling in the pit of his stomach as he waited for you to slink out of the tree line to join them. But nothing.

"Where are they?" Astarion asked, his voice loud and fraught enough to cut through the others questions on what happened, "Why isn't Tav with you?"

Neither of them answered, instead they swapped a knowing grimace. The silence was enough for Astarion's blood to go cold, the worst jumping to the forefront of his mind. B-But that couldn't be. The two in front of him wouldn't just leave her to die, would they? He would hope not, otherwise he'd be forced to bleed them both dry. Astarion was so lost in his thoughts he hadn't even realized how heavily he was breathing, how his hands were trembling at the very thought of your being gone. Your corpse just left behind for the wolves in the cursed Shadowlands.

"Astarion, breathe," Halsin said gently, the behemoth of a man suddenly standing in front of him, his hands gently resting on his shoulders, "I know where they are, they're okay. They just... aren't exactly themselves right now, or at least not the version you know."

"If they're okay then why in the hells aren't they here?" Astarion seethed back at him, swatting his touch away before steeping back, "You just left them out there? Alone?"

"It's not that simple," Halsin started, right as Shadowheart piped up, "Karlach is with her. We aren't that incompetent."

"Well considering that our leader is missing, I wouldn't exactly call you capable," Astarion barked back at her, already turning back towards Halsin, "Take me to them. Now."

The venom in his voice would have surprised Astarion himself if he was capable of thinking about anything but you dead in the middle of nowhere. He barely even had the patience for Halsin to get adequate healing, but it was better than having to wait for him to limp the entire way there. He felt antsy and off center for the entire journey, completely foreign emotions taking over him. He didn't care about people like this, for the precise reason that it led to these horrifying moments of uncertainty. He didn't know what he would do without you anymore. He didn't want to ever find out.

It figures that you would go and almost get yourself killed right after he admitted a portion of his feelings to you. And now everything he wished he'd said was invading his every thought.

"Oh come on now, don't make that face! You know me!"

The sound of Karlach's voice was enough to bring him out of his own head. She was up ahead, kneeling next to a small cave opening as she spoke, "For something so cute, you're being a bit of a pisser right now. Aren't you?"

Astarion didn't miss the bodies littering the way between where he stood and the cave, a mix of homely gnolls and dead tieflings, some that he unfortunately recognized from the grove. He didn't take the time to examine them closely, but... he was aware that many looked young. Much, much too young to have died here.

"There they are," Halsin sighed as Karlach cooed at the cave opening, "They've been in there since we stumbled upon all of... this."

"They've gotten less scratchy at the least," Karlach added, standing up with a stretch, her gaze pointedly avoiding the massacre in front of them, "But they won't stop hissing up a storm. I tried to pull them out by the scruff and almost lost a hand, so I'm thinking we may have to wait this one out."

Astarion ignored her as he got closer to the cave, his eyes widening at what he saw. It was you, or at least he was thought it was. He was well-aware of your druidic abilities and he had seen you polymorph into a ferocious beast many, many times. But never like this. No, you always had a human air about you when you shifted, the reality of your true shelf always shining through your eyes, never without perfect control.

But now, you were cowering in your panther form, your eyes daring back and forth, your coat so covered in blood that it nearly looked like you had been swimming in it. You even hissed at the sight of him of all people, your teeth bared as you backed farther against the cave wall, nothing but pure animal fear and rage behind your eyes.

"It can happen sometimes," Halsin explained with a frown, "Tav is very connected with this form, perhaps too connected. Enough so for it to take over when they're particularly distressed. It used to happen to me even, many, many moons ago. It can take hours to change back, maybe even days. And it can be very... difficult to remember your life outside of instincts."

Well wasn't that just fucking awful? Figures there had to be a drawback to such a powerful advantage. But he'd be damned if he'd leave you out here alone for days. And he doubted that the extra audience would help with anything.

"Leave us," Astarion ordered, his eyes still on you, "I'll find a way to bring them back to camp."

Halsin and Karlach exchanged a glance, obviously weary at the idea. Karlach cleared her throat, "Astarion, I know that the two of you are, um, close, but I don't think you can do anything-"

"Watch me," Astarion said, his words petulant even to his own ears. But he meant it. If anyone could help you through whatever this was, it was going to be him, "If I'm not back before the sun rises feel free to look for me. Now leave."

"But she could kill you on accident! And if my best friend had to wake up to that-" Karlach tried to argue, interrupted by Halsin putting a strong hand on her shoulder, "Just because part of them is lost doesn't mean all of them is. Astarion can handle himself."

Astarion was a bit surprised to receive the druid's support, but he wasn't about to argue over it. He nodded at them, "I'll be fine. Now go, I don't think the crowd is helping with their nerves."

Astarion watched them walk away, only relaxing when they were out of sight. It felt like he could finally breathe again. There you were, safe and sound if not a bit... changed. But he could work with that.

Astarion sat cross-legged to the side of the cave entrance, his voice soft but scolding as he spoke, "'I'll be safe Astarion, don't worry about me Astarion, you're such a little overthinker Astarion.' And now look at you, trapped in a cave with a cat's body. Darling, I think it's high time that you start listening to me."

Astarion hadn't been expecting an answer, but the pitiful little chirp you let out brought a smile to his face. He scooted a bit closer to the entrance, careful not to actually cross the threshold as he spoke, "I'm serious Tav, do you know how horrible it was to see them come back without you? I'd say a punishment would be in order, if you weren't too busy giving it to yourself that is."

Another small, dejected noise, but it sounded closer this time. Astarion glanced at the entrance, smiling when he saw you sitting there on all fours, your tail twitching as you peeked outside. Perhaps it wasn't the wisest thing to do but Astarion slowly brought his hand up, hovering it right in your face while praying that you wouldn't take the chance to bite it off, "It seems like you haven't lost the faculty for understanding language yet. Lick my hand if I'm right."

You did, your large sandpaper tongue gliding over his palm before retreating. You looked... different than before. In a good way, but not a whole way.

"That's a good kitty," Astarion praised, laughing at the way the pet name made your brows scrunch up. Perhaps you weren't fully yourself, but enough of you was there for him to know you'd be getting him back for that little quip, "Oh don't look at me like that. You're the full-grown adult in the body of a glorified housecat."

The little growl you let out at that just made him laugh harder, "A very pretty housecat. Does that help my love?"

You didn't answer. Instead you turned with a huff and retreated back into the cave, your demeanor much more relaxed than before. Relaxed enough for Astarion to venture in there after you. It was a small space, just large enough for a panther to lay and a man to sit. You didn't hiss or growl as he settled in, just watched him with sharp eyes.

Astarion didn't like it. You were usually so tactile with him, always finding reasons for touch, even if they were simple. Standing shoulder to shoulder, intertwining your fingers together, hugs and kisses innocent enough to make Astarion melt. Even in your animal form, not touching you just felt... wrong.

But Astarion also wasn't trying to get mauled. He kept his hands to himself, his head cocked as he stared at you, "Are you honestly going to stay all the way over there? We might be here all night darling, you wouldn't want me to be cold would you?"

Perhaps that was manipulative phrasing, but at least it worked. You shuffled closer, resting your head in his lap while staring up at him with those big eyes.

"See?" Astarion cooed down at you, taking the chance to pet your head, "Isn't that better?"

You didn't answer, instead you closed your eyes, a light purr coursing through you. You really did make an adorable panther, even when your fur was crusted with blood and the tiniest bit of gore. Perhaps you didn't smell that best at the moment, but you sure were cute. You fell asleep there, right in his lap, your body finally fully relaxed.

This wasn't exactly how Astarion intended on spending his night, but there were plenty of worse things. Like having the bury the love of his life for example. Or watching a gnoll tear into their corpse. But luckily enough for him that didn't happen. No, he had you with him, safe and sound. Panther or not, he loved you, and one of these days he would get the courage to admit it out loud. Hopefully sooner than later, considering how easily you could be taken from him.

Astarion hadn't planned on falling asleep with you, but you were so warm, and the sound of your happy purring was nearly hypnotic. The next thing he knew he was out, awaking hours later to a dark cave and a different weight set in his lap. But not an unfamiliar one.

Astarion glanced down, breathing out a sigh of relief when it was you back to normal, seemingly shifting in the middle of the night. You were laying in what seemed to be an extremely uncomfortable position, your cute face smooshed against his leg as you slumbered.

"There you are," Astarion murmured, the quiet sound of his voice still enough to jolt you awake. You blinked your eyes open, sitting up with a start as you frantically looked around.

"Hey, hey, calm down. Everything's okay," Astarion said gently, tugging you back to him, "You just had a little... incident. That's all."

You nodded, the memories from the day seemingly hitting you all at once. He could see the tears start to well up in your eyes as you stared at the ground, "I... I remember the tieflings. We found them too late. And I saw one of those things gnawing on... on Silfy. And another on Mattis and I just... lost it."

Oh gods. Astarion didn't exactly have a soft spot for children, but the thought of seeing one of the ones you had saved, eaten alive was horrifying. Even against the things he had seen.

"Come here love," Astarion murmured, holding his arms out; his heart breaking at the look on your face.

You went to him, nearly collapsing in his arms as you cried into his shoulder, "I didn't save them. I- they were right there. And I didn't save them."

"You can't save everyone," Astarion said as he stroked your hair, "Not every life can be your responsibility. It just can't."

"Why not?" You sniffled, looking up at him with tired eyes, "Why does this have to keep happening? Why can't I do something about it?"

"Because the world wasn't made for people like you," Astarion said honestly, "It is cruel and horrific and it doesn't deserve you. But it needs you anyway. It needs someone who cares, despite everything that proves you shouldn't. And that's not fair, but it's true."

Part of him could scarcely believe such words were even his own, let alone that fact that he believed them. But he did. You couldn't save everyone, no. But that didn't stop the fact that those you could mattered. That your kindness and passion for good did mean something, it meant enough to help hundreds of people. And enough to change him. Astarion would never be the same after meeting you. He didn't want to be, but even if he did the change was irrevocable. Because that's just the effect you had on people. And he felt so damned lucky that he was one of them.

You nodded against him as you let all of your tears out, his words meaningful but not enough to stop the pain completely.

But that was okay. Astarion wasn't going anywhere.

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

I love jack so so much he's perfect but tbh I do think it would've worked much more with the show if he was a destiel baby instead of lucifer's. and I'm not just saying that as a shipper or whatever I mean narratively it would've been a lot cleaner- and actually, I think it would've been super funny to no-homo them creating a baby together, like, literally all they would have to do is say "oh, when cas rebuilt dean after hell he accidentally left some grace tangled in his soul, and every time he's healed him since then it's been growing stronger until a nephilim was born". like yes the studio is homophibic etc etc but all the jokes they'd make about dean being spiritually pregnant would be very funny for me personally.

but ANYWAY, jack's story gets messy and convoluted and I think this would've been like...a simple fix. them worrying about him going dark side could be because they're worried how demon!dean and lucifer!cas affected him in development, the show LOVES bloodline drama, chuck's wanting abraham and issac 2.0 would've worked better this way, dean's storyline with him would be improved, bc rather than 'oh no I slowly but surely emotionally adopted the antichrist' like I think he would've had an easier time clocking his john-behavoir if it wasn't a question whether he was jack's dad or not. plus last time dean actively raised a kid he went to great lengths to keep the supernatural away from him, so it'd be interesting to see how he handles a kid he CANT possibly hide from this part of his life. it would make more sense why michael wanted jack as a vessel- yes obviously he wanted the nephilim power boost but also having him as part of the winchester bloodline, making him a PERFECT vessel he doesn't have to worry about burning up would add a lot. we could also use this argument for why lucifer is so interested in him if anyone actually liked that plotline in season 14 lmao. we know chuck hated cas and dean's relationship, could you imagine if he checked in and found out they made an unauthorized baby together💀 like that really would've given better context for why he hates jack so much. cas wouldn't need that whole weird brainwashing arc to wanna protect unborn jack, PLUS it could've been an interesting source of angst for him- he feels like he's failed once again, creating an abomination and putting dean in danger, but also still loves jack immensely. it'd be so good! also imagine how fucking stressed out heaven would be to find out a mini castiel is on the way. they wouldn't even wanna exploit that kid for power they'd be preemptively treating the headaches they know they're gonna get lmfao.

also. the casting directors literally put jensen and misha into a face morph app and cast the first actor they could find that matched the results. which would've made more sense if,,,,he was just Theirs. the comedy of dean and cas making a baby before either of them managed to admit their feelings to each other would be more fun then the "dude adopted a kid and pawns him off on his unwilling roommate's all the time and they eventually warm up to the kid" storyline we actually got. we also could've replaced some of the jack-dean angst from the show with "dean wants to connect more with jack but he feels shut out whenever cas is around bc he can't relate to any angel stuff so obviously jack's going to cas for help more!", which I think would be interesting!! how AWFUL dean and cas would feel that jack didn't feel safe enough to be a baby. dad!sam is still in full swing but he cares for jack right off the bat instead of trying to use him for his powers at first. lily sunder talking about how cas killed her kid bc he thought it was a nephilim and dean, who's already fully aware he's (spiritually) knocked up by cas is like 👹 inch resting cas-tee-elle tell me more. mary having a 'my baby has a baby' crisis. cas insisting jack looks nothing like him is a running joke but then at some point he explains its bc jack's 'true form' looks just like dean's soul....

ALSO- in a show where, canonically, the very first act of free will was cas falling in love with dean...the physical manifestation of that defeating chuck and taking his place as god? come ON.

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Remember the Pokémon trainer ask with having pokepastas in their team? Could I maybe request something angsty?~ basically can I get headcanons of Arven and Kieran’s reaction to finding out Trainer got in a accident and was suffering from VERY lethal injuries and in panic missingno..basically messed them up into a pokepasta trainer,kinda corpse looking and now in never ending pain because of the raw wounds that never fully Heal but ofc take medication to numb the pain down and look out now for they’re friends so they don’t suffer the same fate? :))

Oh btw have a nice day or night!!! Remember to drink water!

Arven

From the moment he, Penny, and Nemona discovered your team enjoying a picnic...he always wondered how you got something like Missingno on your side.

But since it nearly corrupted his damn pokedex trying to just get information on it AND you were reluctant to share your past, he figured you'd just say "don't ask questions you don't want answers to" and end the convo right there.

He definitely wouldn't let Mabosstiff near it.

Last time he went near a Pokémon nobody should've known about...he almost lost his companion.

From time to time, he catches glimpses of your wounds (not during picnics ofc), bandages, and the medication Nurse Miriam prescribed to you, and suggests you save some of the herbs for yourself.

And they do help with your pain management when incorporated into tea or sandwiches (especially the salty herba mystica, which relieves your aches for a little while).

They're not miracle cures, but it's something.

Eventually, there comes a point where you know Arven wants to understand how you acquired Missingno, why you have so many ghastly Pokémon by your side, and why you were determined to defend him and the others down in Area Zero.

So you sit down and explain how you found it by accident in Kanto, caught it, and realized it was simply a lonely creature who wanted a trainer it could love and protect. Like any other Pokémon.

Yet you didn't realize the extreme lengths it would go to achieve that goal....until you nearly suffered a lethal wild Pokémon attack (it was in the dead of night, and you were ambushed while chasing after what you thought was a shiny).

You were bleeding out, bones broken and gaping wounds all over your body, and unconsciously begged for help-

And Missingno somehow heeded your call, escaping its pokeball and reviving you.

But in doing so, you were brought back as a zombie..one who still remembers the pain of that night and often cursed the glitch for not letting you die.

In time though you've made peace with it, knowing you were stuck this way now and it wouldn't let you go...

To the point where it erased its own pokeball from existence and became a constant presence around you, invisible aside from a few occasional glitch particles.

Yet you knew Missingno didn't mean any ill intent--all it wanted to do was save you.

Now you vowed to save others so they didn't suffer the same fate as you, whether that be haunted Pokémon left abandoned in some town or atop a mountain or your human friends in Area Zero.

Your pains aren't as severe now thanks to the meds, and you're grateful for Arven introducing you to herba mystica.

You were afraid he was gonna be freaked out by your story (or not believe you), but..while he finds it horrific and sad at first, he understands you better and is simply glad you're here now.

He's also happy to help his buddy manage their pain better, even if the remedies are only temporary.

Kieran

You had to bandage and conceal a great deal of your wounds so nobody at BB Academy got concerned, with DISABLED giving you a consistent best Heal Pulse to ensure your chronic pain wasn't debilitating).

Even so, Kieran assumes you got better over the past year and is desperate to battle you and win Missingno..something he vowed to acquire after realizing he'll never get Ogerpon.

You try explaining that it's literally impossible for you to surrender it, and it's too dangerous to bring it into a battle anyway, but he thinks you're just lying to him again and bragging.

In the back of his mind, though...he kept wondering why you had so many injuries..

Ofc..he's too focused on being stronger than you to ask you.

But after seeing Missingno come out (in its Fossil Aerodactyl form) and literally glitch Terapagos' beam out of existence and use Cut on multiple falling rocks---he was amazed.

You finally invite him to your dorm to talk after the mochi mayhem events, knowing he deserved some answers.

He sees the pain meds littered all over your countertop, and you finally reveal to him why you need those, why you look the way you do, and why you keep Missingno around:

Basically, after catching and befriending it, you got attacked by some wild Pokémon, and they would've left you for dead had it not intervened.

You made it feel loved, cherished, never using it as a weapon or an infinite item dispenser...and it couldn't watch you bleed to death.

So it saved your life, but it came with a great cost: neverending physical pain with your wounds never fully healing.

You used to curse Missingno for not letting you go, trying to release it several times to no avail, and just being miserable in general.

Yet once you realized it attracted more misunderstood, tortured, and damaged Pokémon to your side..you came to forgive it, knowing it was just like them despite its uncanny appearance: a creature who just wanted to protect its trainer.

Now you take medication (and a few leaves of herba mystica) to numb the pain down, so it didn't hurt as much as it did before.

You wouldn't want anybody to have a brush with death like you did. Not even your worst enemy.

That's why you went so far to protect your friends in Area Zero, especially Kieran.

After hearing your story, he felt so torn up and guilty--and convinced he was being "overdramatic".

You were still suffering all along, for years..and he had no idea, only thinking about himself and his selfish ways and how his pain couldn't possibly compare to-

But you stop your friend from spiraling, holding him and letting him cry out all of his renewed guilt, telling him that his own suffering was valid, too.

He was starting to look like a corpse with the dark circles and paler complexion....and it scared you.

Seems like he took "I wanna be like you" a bit too literally.

But you're glad Missingno saved you--otherwise you never would've gotten the chance to meet him and help him become more confident in himself (ofc you wish things were different before and didn't require you shattering his confidence first).

Since that conversation, Kieran starts taking better care of himself and makes a promise to protect you.

Not from physical threats per se as you're basically immortal, but from rude stares and whispers of how "creepy" you are.

He tends to hug you a lot and lend you his jacket for warmth if you ever get cold in class or in the polar biome.

It does help with the chills you get so often, and makes you feel grateful that you two were still friends despite everything.

[inkyycapp]

Yokai!matsu kidnapping reader..? It ticks a few things at once. Oh! Oh! They're kidnapped cos they were found injured, but even after they've healed the yokai brothers (seperately) refuse to let them go.

Cough, cough. I love this, cough.

You're getting hcs too.

Ahem

Slight notice! I did some minor research for this, but even then I'm still unsure !! If anything is wrong please do tell me !!

(Uh so, really bad weather rn. Wifi going in and out and tornadoes lurking around, so, like that's rad ig !! Forgive me.)

Tw/Cw: Injuries, slight mention of blood, kidnapping, Stockholm syndrome if you squint, manipulation(?), desperation, spelling/grammar(?), probably a little or a lot ooc I'm terrible at telling !! Forgive me !!

Youkai!Matsu x Injured!Reader

( Yokai!Matsu but used Youkai for letter colors..:D )

Small reader context !!

For whatever reason you're in the mountains doing whatever your mortal self does up there. A sharp pain shoots through your leg causing you to slip. Your foot set off a bear/fox trap. A group of bandits or just overall bad people--who one would assume set the trap--find poor injured you.

You don't have much on hand. Maybe you have a weapon, maybe you don't. But, regardless of how hard you fight, there are just more of them the there are of you.

Osomatsu

Oni

-He doesn't hate humans, but he doesn't actively like them either. He's more neutral about it.

-Like, he wouldn't go out of his way to help/save them, that's way too much work for him. But, he also wouldn't go out of his way to kill someone unless they really pissed him off.

-Doesn't really understand humans, but somewhat understand and takes a small liking to bits of their culture and activities.

-Actually fairly in with the times, but doesn't really try enough to be in with the times, y'know?

-Obviously takes part in gambling with the humans regardless of the time period.

-He finds that you're injured and probably not going to make it out of the situation alive.

-While at first he's slightly indifferent about your situation, he recognizes you from the village below. He probably asked for money and you gave it to him, or maybe you work at one of the place he frequents, but for whatever reason, he may be persuaded to help.

-You're already unconscious and he can't help but feel pity for you. Pretty nasty leg injury. Maybe he should help.

-And, so, he does!

-After attending to your Injuries best he could, he decided to wait for you to come around. He'll admit, the patch up was sloppy, but it did the job, that's what matters.

-Eventually, you'd come around and find yourself face to face with the devil himself. Whether fearful or not, this would take some...adjusting.

-Compared to the known sterotype, he seems more lax and less...demonic.

-He finds you interesting. Somehow, that curiosity hadn't faded one moment since he's found you. Expect some questions personal, even perverted, or not.

-Dislikes when you get up or move around without his help. Though, more chill and just lightly scold you for straining yourself.

-Then, soon, one day you're all better. But, he doesn't want you to leave. How strange. He didn't think he'd be this...attached to someone like yourself. Not like that, bit it's weird to him.

-He had seen humans come and go--grow old and die. He's never been this comfortable with humans before he'd met you. He doesn't want you to leave. Will you ever see each other again after you part ways? Probably not, but he doesn't want to take that chance.

-So, you can't leave just yet.

Karamatsu

Shikigami

-Karamatsu loves humans/humanity the MOST out of this list. He often tries to be 'in' with the culture no matter the time period. He goes through many "phases" trying to be what the humans deem is cool in certain points of time.

-He loves to collect and tell stories that humans tell, though can sometimes stretch it a little for a more theatrical performance.

-He often tries to interact with people and walk amongst them. But, it usually never goes well.

-His brothers often tease, but he's restless in his search for a human Karamatsu boy or girl.

-When he found you in the snow plains, a red staining the snow around you, he didn't hesitate to check out the scene.

-A group of people trying to take advantage of a defenseless Karamatsu boy or girl !! Of course he felt the need to intervene and help the poor soul.

-He manages to scare off the bandits, but by the time he gets to you, you're already out. It pains him to see such a beauty in so much pain.

-Karamatsu, without so much as a second thought, takes you somewhere much safer. A nice small cabin deep in the woods. That's where he nurses injured you back to health.

-At first, you're probably shocked, but maybe around the first week mark, you'll probably get used to it. If not, don't worry! You'll have a long time to adjust!

-He's very curious about you and the humans you surround yourself with. His knowledge of the culture is a little outdated, not by much. Still, it's nothing compared to understanding the real thing.

-He doesn't like when you try to get up. You need to recover. You'll probably hurt yourself! Don't worry, he'll do it for you!

-Honestly, just wants you to be safe. By far, you're the first human that he's ever gotten this close with--both metaphorically and literally.

-He just wants to keep you safe. There are monsters lurking both human and spirit. Surely you know.

-Karamatsu had already taken a liking to you since he met you, but over the time of your recovery, he's grown too attached to let you leave.

-You'll stay, won't you?

Choromatsu

Tengu

-Also kind of neutral, more lenient towards pretty humans. It's so painfully obvious, his brothers tease him about it, though he's incredibly indenile.

-While claiming he doesn't have an obvious leniency towards pretty humans, it is obvious to literally anyone. Including the mortals down in the villages.

-Choromatsu won't go out of his way to harm anyone he considers "pretty or cute", though his idea of pretty and cute is complicated! Not always about looks, but mannerisms, actions, etc.

-He spots you before. And, he folds at first glance. It's not difficult to be encouraged to help you. You're practically a sparkly treasure to be collected and safe guarded.

-But, then he watches as you're injured self begins to get surrounded by the group that seemed to have caught you.

-Choromats had quickly intervened, chasing off the group (probably off a cliff), before returning back to you.

-Laying in the snow, you were out cold and didn't seem to respond at all, your pulse being the only thing noting you're still alive.

-Won't deny, he was absolutely panicking at first, figuring out how to clean your injures properly.

-Eventually, he does somewhat figure it out, and once you're stable he takes that time to breathe. And, well, admire your sleeping form. Not in a creepy way, but just studying you.I

-When you do come around, he's trying and failing with his words for a moment.

-Takes care of you, and while he does often nag you, he's more so worried about how your recovery is coming along.

-Tends to kinda hover, keeping a close eye on you, telling you to lay down and get rest and that he can do whatever it was you wanted to get up to do.

-Will refuse to let you get up and do anything for yourself. Why have you do it when you have him? A literal waste, really!

-Even if he sees your coming around and the healing process is moving quicker than he wants, he still refuses to let you do anything.

-Now comes the time when you're ready to leave the nest. Pun.

-He obviously begs you to stay, much without words. Choromatsu doesn't want you to go now that he's oh so attached! You can't go. You won't leave, will you?

-Please don't leave .

Ichimatsu

Kitsune

-Ichimatsu, opposed to Karamatsu, probobly hates humans/humanity the most on this list.

-Often times, he was the cause of some humans lost or missing on the mountain. Though, he wouldn't go out of his way for anything unless angered or maybe he just felt malicious that day.

-Humans find him captivating despite his dislike for them. Even so, he won't admit it, but they do fascinate him on some occasions.

-He spots the bandits first, then you after he gets rid of those loud bandits that woke him from his nap. He considers getting rid of you, too.

-But, you're asleep. And, it seemed your leg is caught pretty badly. It doesn't seem like you'll be able to move far with your leg like that. You'll probably be dead in a matter of hours. He doesn't have to do a thing.

-No, he doesn't feel bad for you. Not one bit. You're just an unlucky human caught by the foot like some poor rabbit.

-Ichimatsu does somehow end up carrying you off elsewhere--somewhere more comfortable. Don't be mistaken, he may be helping you, but no further than this.

-Once you're safe in the small cabin, he does the bare minimum with your injuries and once your stable, he leaves.

-You'll wake up alone, and it'll probably be like that for maybe a few hours before you're visited by a stranger.

-Ichimatsu takes care you you between visits, though he doesn't speak to you often. You're probably scared being so close to a monster like himself.

-But, you grow comfortable in his presence and attempt to talk to him. Something he finds real odd, but almost sweet. He still doesn't talk to you though, but he almost wants to.

-His visits grow more frequent, and he even began bringing you gifts. Like dead animals. But, it's the thought that counts!

-He ends up more attached than he would've liked to admit. And, unlike some people on the list, he's more blunt that you remain here with him.

-You'll be stuck with a monster trash like him, but at least here he can keep you warm and fed.

-You're staying put. There's no reason for you to leave anyways.

Jyushimatsu

Inugami

-Honestly, it doesn't matter to Jyushimatsu. He's fairly friendly to any and all who walk in his path. Many run, but it doesn't bother him much.

-Though, if he had to love one thing about them, he absolutely loves their sports and activities. Often goes with Karamatsu to go take part in "human activities".

-But as one can assume, they get comically outed.

-Is fairly kind opposed to some on this list. He won't go out of his way to harm humans regardless how he feels, though when it comes to helping it's a 50/50. Normally at least tries. But, if he doesn't like you, he'll probably just watch with a lead stare.

-When he found you in the snow, you were surrounded, and he had accidentally hit one of the people with a baseball. Completely by accident. But, kinda thinks maybe the accident wasn't that much of an accident.

-Ends up completely making a fool of the group when leading them away. But, he quickly returns to where you had been laying.

-Similar to Choromatsu, he panics at first and is so unsure about how to go about this situation. Obviously he doesn't want to make it worse, but he really doesn't want you to die.

-He carries you off to the small cabin to tend to your wounds. It's sloppy patch-job, but it's alright.

-Watches you while you sleep. Pokes you now and again. When you don't move for too long Jyushimatsu does tend to panic a little but settles when you finally take in that breath of air.

-When you do wake up, he's happy you're up and not dead. Sure, he may not feel too bad if you died, but only because he didn't have a close enough connection to care, but that wouldn't mean he wouldn't care.

-Jyushimatsu tries to stay the entire time your recovering. While he does hover a little, he's more considerate of your space.

-Does whatever he can to make you laugh. Whether it's acting out a skit, telling jokes or just being goofy.

-Doesn't care if it makes him look dumb. As long as he at least gets a smile out of you it doesn't matter.

-Gets way too attached way to quick. And, when you're all better, he gets a little (lying) clingy.

-Whines and may even howl like a kicked puppy. Might even do tricks if it gets you to stay.

-Don't leave yet!!

Todomatsu

Baku-Danuki

-Todomatsu doesn't hate them, but he doesn't care for them either, similar to Osomatsu. However, he's more in with their culture, more so than Karamatsu. Only because he thinks it's cute.

-Prefers some time period clothing to others and can tend to stand out, but language is definitely up to date.

-He views humans/humanity as beneath him, or simply to play into his enjoyment. He has no issues getting rid of anyone that doesn't gives him what he wants out of an interaction. Absolutely stone cold.

-He spots a few humans gathering around, and grows curious as to what grabbed their attention.

-Their wares seem to interest him. Then, there's you. After disposing of the others, he's left with unconscious you. What to do with you.

-Well, you could be useful. You'll pretty much be indebted to him for saving you. Or, at least you should be.

-So, he drags you away from the scene, tenderly caring to your wounds, putting on a sweet and kind persona.

-When you awaken, he greets you gently, coming forward as the one who saved your life after he found you on the brink of death in the snow.

-Skeptical or not, you come around and thank him however you would. Already gaining praise from you. Admittedly, the praise feels...nicer than it should. He brushes it off, what else can he get from you.

-He slyly asks you questions, gaining more information of your personal life over a week, maybe two.

-You get up to do something, and being the ever so kind savior, he takes you back to bed, doing the task for you instead. Not that he wants to. He's playing the long game with your little life.

-But, you thank him, telling him just how kind he is. Todomatsu can't help but grow addicted to that feeling. Being appreciated and validated.

-Slowly, but surely, he begins to grow a bit (a lot) attached. He didn't think it was possible. But, soon he doesn't see you as just a human, but as you.

-Once you get better, he does contemplate poisoning you to get you to stay. Not much to kill you, but enough so he could still take care of you.

-Todomatsu doesn't do it. But, he has heavily considered it.

-He will try his damndest to get you to remain in this little cabin with him.

-You can't go yet! You need him!

So funny that Osomatsu and Karamatsu are my favorites in general, but Todomatsu is my favorite to write for, and Jyushimatsu is my favorite to draw. What.

I still dislike Choromatsu. There is no reason for it.

Anyway if you're here, try Arizona RX Energy Herbal Tonic Tea. It's so damn good. That's all lmao !!

[just-wrting]

Not Leaving Again

Title: Not Leaving Again

Pairing: Portgas D Ace x Reader

Warnings: This deals with grief, depression, death, and whether or not one wants to die. It’s an angsty piece with a slightly happy ending.

Word Count: 1,519

Master List

Summary: After what feels like too long, you get to see your boyfriend. The circumstances could be better and he’s devastated knowing this.

A/N: This is more of a personal piece than it is anything else. I wanted to write angst and this was the idea. If you can’t handle the topics, do not read this. I’d rather people be happy than read my sad stuff.

It doesn't hurt. Well, it doesn't hurt as much as you thought it would.

The hug he has you in is crushing the air from your lungs, but you don't care. You've probably missed him more than he's missed you, though you have no proof for that. You've been super busy, but even so, you haven't had a reason to visit.

"You shouldn't be here," he stresses as he cups your face.

You raise an eyebrow. "Don't tell me you didn't want to see me, Ace."

He frowns. "You know that's not it. I missed you so much, I just shouldn't be seeing you like this."

You pull on your bloodstained clothes. "To be fair it's not my blood."

"That's what you said last time."

You lean in and give him a kiss. "Are you going to stand there looking sad, or are we going to catch up?"

Reluctantly, he laces your fingers with his. You know why he's sad. There's just nothing you can do about it. Sure, you feel terrible that he's sad because of you, but the worst part has yet to come. For a moment, you want to pretend it's not happening.

"So what have you been doing since I saw you?" Ace asks. "Sorry I haven't been paying much attention."

You give his hand a squeeze. "It's okay, I know you've got others you like to focus on too. I've been super busy. Being a pirate isn't easy, but I don't think I'll ever regret it. I wouldn't have met you otherwise."

Ace gives a weak smile. "You couldn't beat me in a fight, but you sure looked cute trying."

"The goal was never to beat you, it was to just not die. I did a pretty good job in that fight, if I do say so myself."

His smile fades. "Yeah, you were still able to hold your own."

"You're still ranked as my hardest fight. Though I did just recently face one of those guys from the Worst Generation. Gave me a wicked scar, but I managed to get out of it."

He stops walking. "Show me."

You give a slight frown. "Nothing can be done about it now, so I don't know why you want to see it."

"Please," he begs. "I don't want to see you get hurt ever again."

You oblige, peeling off the stiff clothes. There's nothing to be ashamed of, Ace has seen you naked and the beach is empty. That doesn't stop you from being a bit nervous. You know it's because you've got more scars compared to last time, and some of them the injuries he gave you left marks.

“I’m glad it wasn’t Luffy, I don’t think I’d have the heart to fight him knowing he’s your brother. That and he’s making quite the name for himself now.”

“Yeah, he’s doing great.”

Ace gently traces each new scar, like he's memorized the placement of all the old ones. Even though his touch is surprisingly warm, you still shiver. It's not like you don't like his touch, you're just a bit surprised.

"See? Even the one from the last time you saw me has healed nicely. You can barely see it."

He pauses as he traces one on your abdomen. "Where's the one from this time?"

You can't meet his eyes. Avoiding the question will just upset him, you're just not ready to talk about it.

"Ace," you pause. "I don't want to talk about it just yet. We have plenty of time."

"There shouldn't be any time. I don't like this."

There's tears in his eyes, and your heart breaks a little. It's not good hiding it from him, you just don't want to hurt him more than he already is. It's unavoidable.

"I promise I'll tell you in just a bit, but can't we just for a moment pretend that everything is fine and the way we want it to be?"

Now you're cradling his face, trying to hold back your tears. Of course he wants to know, it's the first thing he asked you last time too. It gets harder and harder to leave him every time you're together again.

"It won't ever be that way. You know this, it just hurts when you drag it out," Ace cries. "Please stop doing this."

What little resolve you have cracks. Tears flow freely down your cheeks as you grab Ace's hand. With shaking hands, you bring it up to your forehead, brushing stray hairs away from it.

It doesn't hurt. Not anymore. Not as he traces the wound with shaking fingers, dried blood crumbling from your head.

"There won't be a next a time Ace. I can't leave here. I can't leave you."

You place a hand on his chest, tracing the lines left by his death. You haven't been the same since he died. You've been worse since your first near death experience.

You woke up on a white sandy beach, looking up at Ace. He was sobbing over you, cradling your head to his chest. Despite knowing you shouldn't be seeing him, you felt at peace. Knowing what was waiting for you was a relief, so every single battle was fought relentlessly.

Now you'd never gone looking for a way to see him. You'd only ended up here three times before this. Even on those days you woke up and just missed him, you never tried to see him.

"How did it happen?" He pulls you closer. "What happened?"

“I just wasn’t strong enough this time. I got ambushed and had a choice, either join them or die.”

For a spirit, he’s so warm. You were shocked the first time you woke up here. Ace was solid, warm, and felt so real. It felt like a dream. Once you found out the truth, you didn’t know how to feel. It was such a struggle knowing that all it took to meet him was to follow him.

“I just-” he tries to say.

You sit down and pull him to you. He can’t stop crying, so you lean him into you and pat his head. It doesn’t bother you that he’s so emotional over it, better him than you. After all, it doesn’t quite feel real yet. When it does, you’ll have to depend on him.

“It’s okay, I understand. It’s not an easy thing to deal with. I cried for hours when I found out you died.”

Ace just cries. You hold him the whole time, not stopping your gentle rubbing on his back. It’s difficult to recall a time besides Ace’s death that you were inconsolable. You never really knew your parents so it wouldn’t be when they died.

After what must be hours, he stops crying, his body now shaking with hiccups. You haven’t stopped telling him that’s everything is okay, even if it might not be.

“I just didn’t want you to die. I missed you, but it hurts to see you knowing that you’re dead,” he mumbles into your chest. “How am I supposed to deal with that? What am I supposed to feel when I look at you?”

“Well every time I’ve gotten to see you, I think about how lucky I am to be able to see you and know you. It’s not all bad, at least we’re together even when we’re dead.”

You fall backwards into the sand, pulling him down with you. Pressing a kiss to the top of his head, you stretch out in the sun. You’d like to make the most out of the situation.

“It wasn’t supposed to be like this.”

You sigh. “But it was inevitable. We were pirates, it was bound to happen. Maybe we’ll get a second chance and find each other again in a happier place.”

“You think so?”

“I hope so. I’ll do my best to find you in every life, Ace. You managed to find me here, so why wouldn’t we be able to find each other again?”

Ace doesn’t say anything, just buries his head further into your chest. You can tell he’s tired, but you don’t know if it’s even possible to sleep. Instead of asking, you just start talking.

“I managed to see a lot of cool things though. My crew hated that insisted on stopping at every single restaurant and buy the most expensive meat on the menu, but some of it was amazing! If I could’ve brought it with me, I would’ve. There was an amazing savory and spicy steak that paired really well with a sweet wine and the whole time I kept thinking of you.”

You have no idea if he’s even paying attention to your yapping, but you don’t mind. There was so much that you did because you wanted to do things he liked, so you might as well tell him while you’ve got the time.

Your mouth doesn’t get dry, and the sun doesn’t set. The only sounds you can hear are the gentle crashing of the waves and your own voice. As weird as it sounds, you think you finally feel at peace.

[thedailydescent]

The thing is though that it doesn't matter.

People clamor against the idea that Louis ever loved or even liked Armand, and that he was just with him out of fear/to protect Claudia. That narrative quickly falls apart when you look at how completely at ease he was with embarrassing Armand in front of the coven, the promise he made to Claudia that he broke when he tried burning Armand's photo, then couldn't because of the soul he managed to capture. The additional knowledge since 2x03 that Armand is heavily influenced by the coven and their demands, and even after a year and half of them being together, he is still so. How it would have made more sense, if Louis was just with him for survival's sake or to protect Claudia, to leave Paris with Armand already recommending that he leave with his blessing. Madeleine feeling Louis's love for Armand (which wasn't her misreading it as love for Lestat, and, as far as I'm aware, is not canon either). How the very premise of the interview is about Louis processing his grief for Claudia and how he failed her. How the writing, cast, and crew emphasize that Louis feels a certain amount of entitlement towards Claudia, how he never truly put her first despite his best efforts, and how that doesn't make Louis a bad person, but a person shaped by and is stuck in traumatic circumstances.

Same with people accusing Louis of using Armand/not loving Armand the "right way". 95% of garbage "pimp Louis" takes and fics with poor unloved helpless Armand suffering the most from their roleplaying or Louis's cruising. Nevermind what was actually shown onscreen, what the cast and crew tell us.

But at the end of the day, it doesn't matter if Louis didn't do everything he could to protect Claudia. It doesn't matter if Louis was indeed a terrible partner to Armand (he wasn't btw). Nothing would have justified what Armand did to Louis and Claudia. Louis shouldn't have to be on 24/7 survival mode to avoid him and Claudia being lynched. If Louis had indeed been an awful person to both Claudia and Armand, he still wouldn't have at fault for the trial, or been the reason it happened. He is still the wronged party here. For the deception leading up to it, for the torture, for the racial trauma inflicted on him and past trauma used against him, for being buried and starved in rocks for days, for the murder of Claudia and Madeleine, and for the lies and manipulation 73 years afterwards. Louis doesn't need to be the perfect victim for Armand to still be the bad one. Armand could have prevented it at any time. Louis could not, nor should have had to.

Similar idea to people saying Louis never asked Armand to erase his memories. If we were to take burnt Louis taking a shower after three days as true (which I do), isn't the issue not, "It doesn't make sense therefore Armand is lying", but more, Armand's blood is so powerful it can heal a severely burnt person enough to be able to take a shower within a short period of time, yet he purposefully withheld it from Louis during those 5/6 nights in San Francisco? Or, Armand erased Louis's memories at Louis's request but also included said request for it, leaving him to rely on Armand on what is true and what isn't? Armand doesn't actually look any better here if he's telling the truth!

Likewise, since people parallel the two situations, some people were still questioning for months after Season 1 aired if Lestat had been telling the truth that he didn't kill Paul (which I always believed), that I guess Sam Reid grew impatient with that and finally said "Can we stop asking if Lestat killed Paul?!" or something. And it's true, Lestat didn't mind-control Paul to commit suicide. That still doesn't negate the fact that Lestat did get into Paul's head at dinner threatening him and his family, used his mental illness against him, leaving him frightened for Louis until the day he died. That still doesn't negate the fact that for 26 years, Lestat let Louis sit on whether he did or didn't. Louis died the day Paul was buried, but Lestat never comforted him about Paul, never brought up Paul, and changed the subject whenever Louis brought up his family. Lestat, in short, never considered Louis's grief or paranoia against him, nor cared to. For 26 years, he did not care.

[eldritch-spouse]

Wife innocently asking Kalymir about all of his scars and touching them and fawning over him, seemingly oblivious to how hot n' bothered he's getting.

" YOU'RE STARING AGAIN, RUNT. "

Ah, he caught you. How can he blame you? Kalymir is quite something, physically speaking. It's hard not to notice him, not to stare at him. In such a vivid garnet coloration, it's hard not to focus on the gashes of blush rose that cross his figure, standing out like sore thumbs.

Kalymir doesn't hide them, in fact, he practically goes out of his way to display them, like they're the most beautiful part of his body. He seems to think other people's scars, whether from battle or simple "blemishes" of nature, are also attractive- It was very odd to see him constantly trace a slash across your arm from a soft training session.

Nevertheless, the King is kind of primal sometimes. In the sense that prolonged gazing agitates him severely. It's hard to tell if he enjoys it or not, but you know it definitely reads as a challenge, if the growl under his words is any indication.

" So I am. " You blink.

" IT'S GETTING ON MY FUCKING NERVES, SPEAK ALREADY. " He fumes.

It's clear you caught him in the middle of some sort of scheme, he only ever stands in front of his main (massive) fireplace with his arms behind his back when he's mulling over something. Kaly's already pissed from being interrupted, better not to test him further. But then again, you did come here to make sure he isn't spacing out in his own mind, in a positive feedback loop of fury...

" How did you get that one? " Walking to stand beside your demonlord, you point to his chest, specifically the large patch that crosses it diagonally.

Kalymir snorts, turning. " OH, SO YOU JUST CAME TO MAKE GOO-GOO EYES AT ME? "

You roll your eyes, but a lazy smile still graces your face. " I asked you a question. "

" I HEARD, DIPSHIT. "

Apparently, you've successfully brought him out of his thoughtful stupor, because the Icon grins wide, teeth ever flared, and squats in front of you.

" THIS ONE HERE? " He barks, and you nod silently. " IT'S MY FAVORITE. " And his biggest. You wouldn't be surprised if it was his favorite precisely for that reason. " I GOT IT THE DAY I BECAME KING OF WRATH. "

Eyebrows rise, you gawk openly, rising loud cackles out of him. " No shit-? "

" YEAH BITCH. " He leers, fetching one of your hands and putting it up against the gnarled flesh, just beneath the bone growths on his upper chest. You blush a little, though allow yourself to map it out. " FEEL IT. "

Kalymir flexes. Although you're entirely unaware of it, his tail wags increasingly faster behind him. " I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO DIE IN THAT ARENA, YET I WALKED OUT AS THE BEST WRATH COULD OFFER! "

When he puts it like that, it really is a scar worth showing off. You'd wear it with pride too. It actually sits very well upon him.

"AND THIS- "

Your hand is forced to grope at the scarred flesh harder, every inch of tense muscle felt beneath his hot skin.

" IS MY TROPHY. YOU HEAR ME, PIPSQUEAK? "

" Y-Yeah. " Is his breathing faster? You suppose you'd get excited talking about such a cool conquest too. " That's so brutal! I bet it hurt like a motherfucker too, you're amazing. "

Kalymir beams, puffing out further before you, even going as far as to raise his arms in a perfect display pose so you can see the way the healed tissue stretches to accommodate movement. Your gleeful giggle has him beaming back, happy to show off.

" DAMN FUCKING RIGHT I AM. " He huffs, greedily allowing you to explore the length of said scar, relishing your little hands on him, your words of complete awe.

Kalymir licks at his teeth and groans, wondering how long it'll take before you stop babbling and notice the twitching tent in his loincloth.

[eroslove88]

Kinktober Day 3: "But the wound that he leaves is unmistakable"

Pairing: Yan. Diluc x Male. Reader

Warning: Branding, fire, pain, kidnapping, nipple play(ish) and sir kink

Note: All right, I hope you all enjoy this one. I apologize for the laziness in this one. 😅

His fiery eyes burned into yours. They looked angry but you hadn't done anything wrong, not for a while. You feared him. So you just sat across from him silently and ate your soup.

The maids were nice but they never spoke up about what Diluc was doing. Every morning they'd come into the room and ignore your cries as they cleaned. Maybe they knew that at some point you we're bound to give up.

"Would you like more wine sir?" a maid asks you.

You look back at her and shake your head. Diluc stares. "Be polite."

Your heart is beating at him comment, "No." you whisper, "No, thank you." your voice is meek as she walks away and a small weight is lifted off your shoulders.

"Adelinde"

"Yes, Master Diluc?" she responds.

"We'll be fine for now" your heart drops as she responds with a 'yes' and walks out of the dining room.

"Come here." he demands, his voice low but somewhat threatening. Obediently you stand up and walk towards him slowly, head tilted downwards. "Sit" he pats his right thigh. For a second you hesitate but you take a deep inhale and just suck it up. 'This will be quick' you repeatedly told yourself.

Dilus grabs you by the jaw and forces you to look at his... beautiful face, it was so much nicer than you had remembered. Your eyes wonder from him eyes to his jaw, it was perfect. "You've been doing 'better' recently" he comments. You stare back at his eyes and force a smile. "Th-thank you" you swallow hard, "Sir"

His hand is placed on your waist, it slowly heats up and you shift uncomfortably. "Ah- Diluc?" you question. He doesn't respond. His other hand holds you down by your shoulder. Your shirt- it's burning. "Diluc? Diluc, what are you-" he shushed you before staring at you. "Lay down on the table. "

Your eye widen, "But- the plates" it was a stupid excuse but it was all you could come up with. "I can always by new ones" the flame on your shirt is burning now but reluctantly you boost yourself onto the table. He puts the flame out with his gloved hand. "Hold still, I love you and I wouldn't like you to get more hurt than you have to" you freeze as he kisses your forehead.

It's an odd feeling, warm lips on cold skin. Your lips quiver as he rips your shirt off leaving your chest and stomach exposed. He stares for a couple of seconds before letting his hands wander your torso occasionally stopping to tweak your nipple. "Sir- ah" you hiss out feeling his, bare hot hand on your stomach? He never really takes off his gloves only for punishments- but you've been good lately. "It's ok, I'll be quick. But the healing process won't be as fast. So bare with me" he comments. "Sir, w-what are you doing?" you question lifting your upper body with you arms.

"Stay." he demands pushing you back down, "If you move you'll mess something up." it felt like his nails were digging into your skin but then you felt burning. You clench your teeth hard breathing quickly, "It burns" you try pushing yourself away but he grabs you harshly. "I'm doing you a favor"

Your eyes are watering and as his hands get hotter a scream is ripped from your throat. With that a long line of begging began, you desperately trashed underneath him part of it was just reflexes but the other part was just distressed. You stopped caring about his rule on 'dirty' language, it didn't matter whether you were well mannered in this moment or not.

It felt like an eternity until it stopped. He carried you back to the shared room carefully avoiding the burned area. The next morning you were still sobbing as he sat you down in front of a long mirror running his hand across the beautifully branded, "Diluc" on your stomach.

[balanceoflightanddark]

What if this happened?

Azula and Zuko manage to capture the avatar right after Katara quickly healed him while still in Ba Sing Se. The gaang were forced to leave without Aang, altering the day of black sun plan into a rescue mission.

Until the end of "Day of black sun pt 2", Aang is stuck as Azula's prisoner. As the main character, Aang would still have the most screen time but it gets shared with Azula and he spends the most time with her.

What do you think will happen between them? What could "The Beach" episode look like with Aang in it?

Well, this is an interesting ask.

The first most definite thing I can say is whether or not Azula and Zuko know that Aang is alive. I would wager they would capture his body which might not necessarily be conscious to show that the Avatar is indeed dead. Naturally, this could lead to a nightmarish scenario like at the start of Book 3 where Aang wakes up on a Fire Nation ship, only for it to be under the control of the Fire Nation instead of being captured.

Course, I wouldn't imagine Aang's initial escape attempt being too successful given that he just recovered from being shot in the back. Azula and Zuko would still be able to hold him till he gets to the Fire Nation where Ozai...I doubt Aang is going to be kept in good condition since killing him would just cause the Avatar to reincarnate. Therefore, I could see Ozai keeping him in torturous conditions not unlike what Zhao put him through in Book 1. Alive, but unable to do anything. Might even give Azula the "honor" of watching him since Zuko has returned to become the Crown Prince.

But let's assume that Aang is able to try and make an escape attempt a few times. I mean let's face it, he's not exactly someone who's easy to keep down. I could see Azula wanting to keep his escape attempts under wraps so Ozai's wrath would not directed towards her. Now here's where things get interesting. She starts noticing that Aang is avoiding killing anyone, isn't going into the Avatar State, and overall isn't acting like what the Avatar is expected to act like by the Fire Nation (which we can get some interesting worldbuilding by seeing how they view the Avatar from their perspective).

If we go down this avenue of thought, Azula might assume that putting the Avatar in torturous conditions isn't working since he keeps trying to break out. What she might feel work better is if he was broken mentally so he simply wouldn't have the will to fight. To this end, she might give him better conditions that are less torturous, but she'll try to break him by passing stories about his friends dying or being captured or something. Make it clear that he can escape, but break his will to fight. Maybe have daily "chats" taunting him.

Now here's where things get interesting: Aang won't break. He knows Azula's lying to break him...but in the process, she inadvertently starts letting him know about her upbringing by divulging what her worldview is. Maybe even starts to feel a bit sorry for her than anything. I mean he did feel bad for Zuko even when the latter was trying to kill him, so it's completely in the realm of possibility. Which in turn befuddles Azula since everything she does to break him doesn't work, and she knows he's sympathizing with her.

Which leads to the Ember Island. This could be Azula's last chance at breaking Aang, showing how pathetic he is for sympathizing with a monster and not even attempting to escape when he has a chance. It backfires since Aang knows enough that Azula is NOT a monster, and tells her this. And the reason he doesn't want to escape is because he's afraid that Ozai's going to come after her for letting him escape (which isn't out of the question since Ozai is becoming more and more frustrated with Azula's lack of progress). As badly as he wants to escape, he doesn't want anyone else to suffer on his hands. Not even Azula.

Now here you can go a few routes. For me, Aang would eventually escape once he realizes that Azula won't budge. But he times it during a time where her back is turned, like the Day of the Black Sun so there's a reason for why her security is lax. Or he comes into contact with the rest of the Gaang and he escapes during the Black Sun Invasion so as to make it look like a rescue instead of incompetence on Azula's part. Either way, I do feel that Aang would advocate for mercy on behalf for Azula or at least make sure she doesn't rot someplace after Sozin's Comet. Azula would obviously assume that Aang abandoned her like everyone else, but Aang coming back and telling her the truth would give her a bit of a mental safety net and possibly lead to the road for recovery.

All in all, this was a good ask. You can do a lot with this, either go Azulaang, worldbuild for the Fire Nation, humanize Azula to Aang, maybe cause Aang to form a rift with Zuko or Iroh due to their differing opinions on Azula. You can do something with this given the ideas I just pointed out.

[good-soupmens]

Maybe this is just me being a christian in the good omens fandom, but a lot of people say Aziraphale's arc needs to end with him *entirely* dismantling his religious beliefs and stop following God, and I would disagree (I do have religious trauma, so hear me out 💀)

Yes, it was VERY necessary for him to learn that heaven didn't have humanity's best interest at heart. In fact, the archangels are incredibly selfish. Questioning their morals led him to stop armageddon with Crowley. But as the narrator of season one, God is somewhat mysterious, even cheeky ("a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time"). I don't think we're SUPPOSED to dislike her as a character, but we're meant to question whether heaven is really carrying out her plan.

I often see heaven as the equivalent of a corrupt church; the kind that scares you with hell, says they have power over the bible so you should listen to them, and asks you for donations when they'll probably just spend it on themselves. They're toxic.

Crowley is wise to want to distance himself as much as possible. But I can't say Aziraphale is wrong for wanting to fix it. Heaven existing at ALL isn't the problem, it's the way it's conducted. If they really cared about the earth, they could help people. Crowley saved a girl from killing herself, Aziraphale forgave Maggie's rent, Crowley helped Shakespeare get his plays off the ground, Aziraphale healed Anathema and fixed her bike. Both stopped hell from ending the earth (and heaven orchestrating it). Crowley saved things every time that he was sent to destroy them.

They're constantly doing little miracles, sometimes big ones, while still letting the earth run, where humans can make their own choices and decide what to believe. If heaven was anything like Crowley and Aziraphale, there wouldn't be a system in need of destroying.

I wrote more detailed meta on good omens God here (and my therory on the ineffable plan), but my point is to say that destroying Aziraphale's faith entirely is not the solution. He doubts that heaven is even doing God's work. The end goal for dealing with religious trauma isn't always letting go of your belief in God (that's okay if it is!) but many of us need to deconstruct toxic ideas taught by toxic churches. Some people wouldn't survive without their faith. And FAITH in God isn't the problem, people misrepresenting God in order to devalue, shame, and oppress others for personal gain is.

Given that she canonically exists in the good omens universe, that means that she created everything. She made Aziraphale, Crowley, the universe, the earth, everyone who went on to create anything else, and life itself. Every moment, every place, every feeling, every choice, and every experience was possible because it was created. She's the reason anything that in the history of time was able to happen at all, good or bad.

God may not tell anyone about her plan, but I have a feeling it's going to be the end result of the series, where Crowley and Aziraphale were a part of it (I could be kidding myself, but that's my theory)

The concept of the "sides" being heaven and hell doesn't work without everyone getting a real choice. Neither Crowley or Aziraphale truly belonged to their respective sides because they were morally against them. Just as heaven needs to be fixed, hell shouldn’t be run by *obligation* to do evil. The good omens book said that many demons just considered it their job ("Go up there and make some trouble")

Thinking back to Aziraphale's line, "But humans...get a choice" makes me think that THAT'S what will change.

It's not "this group is nice. go out and do good" and "this group is bad. go out and do evil", it'll be everyone making choices (whether they want to spread misery and destroy the earth, or truly help better the earth and show people the light in a flawed world). Heaven would have a real job of thwarting evil if they weren't the ones administering it, and maybe that's what Aziraphale will try to change.

--

(End of essay personal rant!!)

This is for queer christians especially, I know people forget us. My religious trauma comes from homophobia. I have to remind myself daily that it's not a fault of God, but people. It's PEOPLE who harbor hate for what they don't understand, and many use religion to justify their wanting us not to exist. They fundamentally misunderstand the point of following christ, and others have to work to change that.

It may seem like the best solution is to object to christianity entirely, but I find genuine happiness in it despite the bad eggs. I wouldn't be here if not for it, and it doesn't take brainwashing and manipulation for me to be a follower. I want to be. That's the reason I say any of this; for good omens to end on a positive note with God would mean a lot to queer christians. We're often caught between christians that hate gay people and gay people that hate christians, and it's hard for us to accept both parts of ourselves. Good omens helps me love both :) and thats why I relate to Aziraphale as a character

Also. queer christians and non-christian queer people with religious trauma, you're all so valid and cool, I love you <3

[burnwater13]

Din Djarin, without his helmet on, holding Grogu, on board Moff Gideon's ship. Image from The Mandalorian, Season 2, Episode 8, The Rescue. Calendar by DateWorks. Din Djarin played by Pedro Pascal.

Grogu knew nothing about the standards of human beauty. Were deep brown eyes better than any other color? What about that serious look? It definitely wasn’t a smile, but it wasn't a frown either? Did other humans like that? Grogu studied that face and decided that the thing he liked the most about it, other than the fact that their eye color matched, was the nose. The Mandalorian’s nose was magnificent. 

Grogu had a teeny, tiny little nose. It was effective, but it didn’t really do much for his face. His face was all eyes, ears, and cheeks according to Peli Motto. The Mandalorian’s face was all about that nose and if Grogu could use the Force to make his own nose look more like it, well, if no one told Master Yoda's Force ghost, he'd definitely give it a try.

Plus, the Mandalorian had those whiskers. They were pretty great too. Grogu knew that technically he was older than the Mandalorian, but try as he might, he seemed incapable of growing even the most rudimentary mustache. He had no doubt that a beard, even the scruffy, sparse, ‘I should have shaved yesterday’ sort of beard that outlined the Mandalorian’s chin and jawline, was beyond his own ability to cultivate. There were just no hairs on his chin at all. Dank Farrik.

Grogu had long suspected that the bounty hunter had something like a beard on his face, even though he wouldn’t have described this kind of beard if asked. There were times that he could hear the faintest sound of the hairs scratching the interior of Din Djarin’s helmet and knew it had to be something other than his skin. He only knew that because he had seen the Mandalorian’s skin a couple of times. 

First when the bounty hunter cut his arm during a fight, but he wouldn't let Grogu heal him. Then again when they were eating together and the Mandalorian actually lifted his helmet a little to take a sip broth or a tiny bite of a ration pack bar. That was some pale, non-scaly, non-feathered, non-anything else skin and was exactly what Grogu expected from a human. 

Since a lot of humans Grogu had met seemed to be found of some sort of facial adornment, whether it was just not recently shaved whiskers or a beard or a mustache or a beard and a mustache, he’d worked out that the Mandalorian must take off his helmet and periodically shave that stuff from his face. As Grogu looked at him, he realized that Din Djarin must have been doing the same thing with the hair on his head too. 

Now that was a place where the two of them were more similar but still not the same. Grogu had lots of fine white hair covering his head and the backs of his ears. It wasn't long enough to pull into a Jedi Padawan braid yet, but he had his hopes that it would be, one day. Maybe that was something the other Jedi could help him with? That would be nice, but Grogu wasn’t going to hold his breath. He had asked Master Yoda that question more than once and never got a satisfactory answer. Something about it would happen when it happened. Uff.

Of course what Grogu really appreciated was that the Mandalorian had trusted him enough to show him what he looked like. It was like he wanted to make sure that Grogu wouldn’t forget him. It was a very sweet sentiment, but there was no way that Grogu would ever forget that voice, those mannerisms, that bravery, that commitment to the bit. Nope. Grogu was going to remember the Mandalorian forever, just like all of the other people he had ever met.

He didn't know why he remembered so many people he met. Maybe it was just a thing the members of his species did? It was like watching a vid. He could just think of them and see them in his mind. Or was he seeing them through the Force? That was possible. Kelleran Beq was so tall and fierce. Obi-Wan Kenobi’s voice had a soft cadence that no other Jedi Master ever exhibited. Ian had a way of choosing words and actions that made him unforgettable. Even if the Mandalorian got brand new armor or painted it or changed his helmet, or got a different side arm or finally got a new pair of boots, Grogu would know him just by the way he walked into a room. The Mandalorian was the most purposeful person Grogu had ever met, next to Ian. 

Grogu had wondered when they first met if maybe the person under the armor was his old friend, playing a trick on him, but he realized that Ian had never learned not to be a chatter box. The Mandalorian was pretty quiet unless the topic was armor polish and then you couldn’t stop him from talking unless you managed to get a word in edgewise and tell him you had accidentally dropped the small can in the privy. That produced some initial chatter about how, and when, and why, but it always resulted in the retrieval of the object and no he didn't need Grogu’s help. 

Maybe that's why he took the helmet off? He wanted Grogu to see that he cared more about him than the Creed? He always said a Mandalorian was required by Creed to maintain his weapons and armor in tip top condition. By removing his helmet he was telling Grogu that seeing him without the armor interfering was more important to him that following the Mandalorian rules. Wow. That was pretty special. 

Grogu coo'd at him and hoped that Din Djarin understood him. It was pretty hard to convey in just a simple sound that they were connected by the Force and that would never change. Grogu would be able to find the Mandalorian no matter where he went or what he was doing. When the Force told you that another person was important to you, you listened to it. It was never wrong… except for letting Din Djarin cover up that handsome nose and the face that wore it. That was not the Way.

[theheirofthesharingan]

imagine if itachi didn't die and he got a chance to live could he be redeemed for his actions? he'd helped them in the war, how do you think Konoha would react to him after knowing he undid edo tensei?

The unqualified truth is that Itachi's actions were irredeemable from the start. He could spend his entire lifetime taking care of Sasuke and helping him heal from the damage he'd caused him, but even then there was no redemption for the killings he'd done. As an Akatsuki too the list of his crimes would be too long. And he knew all of it.

The reason he inspires sympathy in readers' hearts is that he wasn't deluded about his actions and the gravity of their consequences. He never thought 'oh, i'm a victim. can i ever be happy?' He took full responsibility of his actions rather than victimizing himself and even went to extremes to ensure he was punished rightfully by the person he had wronged the most - Sasuke.

When he met Sasuke in the woods after his death his first instinct wasn't to chastise Sasuke for becoming a "criminal". He knew it was his own doing and Sasuke shouldn't be blamed for that. He didn't go 'I did it because I had no other options' etc.

Furthermore, I have very mixed feelings about Itachi living or surviving his battle against Sasuke. For his own sake, I don't want him to live. The way he'd been damaged since his childhood and found peace only with his death, living would only mean extended sufferings and torment.

For Sasuke's sake, however, I want him to live. Sasuke loved many people - Naruto, his own parents, but he never loved anyone like he loved Itachi. Worse still - Itachi destroyed his life. Sasuke would only need Itachi to find some sort of comfort and closures, and if not he'd much rather die by his side.

Forgiveness, redemption etc., are shallow words in context of Itachi's life and his death. Not only there was none for what he'd done, it would never be enough for his own healing whether he lived or not. What could redemption or being forgiven really achieve after being pushed into hell by the grown ups around him?

He knew very well his actions were unforgivable and that's what he told Sasuke too. Sasuke forgiving him is a reflection of Sasuke's character rather than Itachi's.

Coming to the second part of the question -

Konoha didn't care about Itachi, or Sasuke for that matter. Once Edo Tensei was undone, war went onto becoming more and more grave until Kaguya was defeated. The prejudices against the clan would affect Itachi just as much as it did in the past, when the only one witness of the clan's tragedy would be him. Homura and Koharu might or might not open their mouths "for the sake of the village" that too after the war when keeping up their good image of Konoha was so important to all of them.

Itachi, along with Sasuke, would probably move into a little cabin where he wasn't disturbed by the responsibilities and burdens of being a Shinobi anymore. Team Taka might accompany them. Plus, whether his name is cleared or not would always be Itachi's call. And he wouldn't want his name to be cleared either since it might make the matters more complicated for the world on the whole.

And that would still be much better than Kakashi and Naruto deciding to follow Itachi's words verbatim of keeping the truth a secret, because it won't be affecting Sasuke all that much. Itachi's truth coming out, again, was more important for Sasuke than it was for him, in my opinion. But when Sasuke could be with Itachi, he would gradually come to understand his brother's pov on this matter, because for sasuke being with Itachi is always going to be more important than anything.

[a-queer-seminarian]

*deeeeep breath* so. (cw church hurt, religious queerphobia)

another Thing has happened in the unfortunately still-ongoing saga of The Pentecost Incident (see my tag if you don't know, but basically, i visited my childhood church back in late May, my priest gave a queerphobic sermon, i got up and said something, got kicked out and verbally harassed by a dude, it went a little bit viral, ugh). (Oh btw i also discuss it a bit near the end of my latest podcast ep over here).

the priest in question, who's been at this same parish since 2002, has now been reassigned to a different church elsewhere in the Cleveland area.

naturally the same Cleveland journalist who's been covering this story since it started published a fresh article that questions whether the move is related to what happened back in May. The official diocese statement is that the events are unrelated, which. Sure. i could see. I definitely don't think it's "punitive" like the article suggests — apparently this other church is in a more conservative area / the parishioners are more conservative. So i could believe this is either a coincidence, or the bishop decided he'd be a better fit for this other church...or hell, that father tim is the one who requested the transfer to get out of the spotlight or something

which just. really bums me out. because unless he's really changed that much since i knew him better in high school (so a good decade ago), Father Tim isn't like, a Mega Conservative?? Like, relatively speaking, for a Catholic priest.

...If i really wanted to know, i guess i'd have to like, listen back through a ton of his homilies to see if they have gotten more conservative over time but. obviously i'm not going to do that because that would be The Worst thing i could do for my mental and spiritual health lol but. part of me is tempted just so i can Know.

i did what i did primarily as a message to anyone in the pews feeling as alienated and betrayed as i did; and secondarily in hopes that Father Tim would see how what he preached was so hurtful. i sent him a loooong email afterward to explain my feelings more (he replied with a quick sentence about not wanting to talk right now but i'm hoping he at least read it).

and now i can't stop thinking about like. what if what i did instead pushed him further right?? fed his persecution complex???

despite the fact that people on the left don't tend to pose any real physical threat to those we protest, and that i was the one who ended up verbally threatened in this situation, i was never surprised when conservative Catholics by-and-large responded to this incident by being like "see! Catholic-phobia is real!" ...But i hate to think that someone like Father Tim, who's known me for most of my life, would feel like i threatened him or whatever.

part of me knows that wouldn't really be on me if that's the case. most of me knows i would have felt the need to get up and say something regardless of how it's all shaken out — as gut-wrenching as it feels to have so little control over the narrative, i still couldn't have just sat there and said nothing. And i've had enough people from the broader St. Raphael community reach out to thank me and say what I did was encouraging or even healing to stand by my decision.

and yet. it still feels really painful. and this added bit about him being transferred to a new church just makes my stomach hurt. i bet there are people within the parish who now blame me and loathe me for like, tearing their community apart or whatever. and i bet the new church will welcome father tim in like a hero, maybe even expect him to preach more things like what he did that day, which will only push him farther right...

all of this is out of my control. i keep trying to center myself and remind myself of that. but God, it's just painful.

[snotsloth]

Calling fellow Baldur's Gate fic writers! I would like a bit of advice on a characterization conundrum I'm facing. I'm currently writing an epistolary post-game fic between my Tav and Astarion. I'm currently working on my second chapter which is my first letter from Astarion and I don't know how much he should reveal about his current psychological and emotional state. A bunch of spoilers and more details under the cut.

A quick summary of the important facts. Brychan romanced Wyll and Karlach during the events of BG3. But he also had a very intense but platonic relationship with Astarion. Astarion did not ascend. He killed Cazador and freed all of his victims into the Underdark.

They all saved Baldur's Gate with the help of the Emperor. Once the Netherbrain and all the tadpoles were dead, Astarion's vampiric curses returned and he had to flee from sunlight. Brychan was about to run after him when Karlach's engine gave out. At the last minute Brychan and Wyll were able to convince Karlach to return to Avernus with them so that they could all search for a fix for her engine together.

But before he left, Brychan tasked Halsin with finding Astarion and giving him "true love's embrace" one of two rings that allows the wearer to cast a protective spell over the wearer of the other ring. (Brychan is a sorcerer and he frequently "breaks" magic rules mostly because he doesn't know they exist.)Though angry and brokenhearted, Astarion kept the ring. About two weeks later it magically produced a letter from Brychan, apologizing and explaining everything that has happened to them since their descent to Avernus.

Having had a few weeks to brood, Astarion is in a better headspace than he was directly after the battle of Baldur's Gate. He understands why Brychan makes the choice he did and isn't really mad at him any longer, buuuuuuuut he is still hurting.

Here's where I finally get to my question. How honest should Astarion be in his reply letter? At first, I let him bare his soul and be completely honest about his current mental state, but now I'm second guessing myself.

Like, yes, Brychan and Astarion were very close at the end of the game. They had a level of intimacy and comfort in one another that Astarion has never had before.

AND YET! He isn't "fixed," you know? He didn't just magically heal from 200+ years of trauma by killing Cazador. Plus, even though Brychan was forced to make a split second decision and didn't intend to hurt Astarion, he did. Leaving for the Hells right after Astarion's curse returned felt like abandonment, whether or not he meant it.

So with all that context, would Astarion put up a front? Would he wave away Brychan's concern and remorse and just be like, "I'm fine. Of course I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be? You assumed I'd fall to pieces just because you left? Please. I got along just fine before you came into my life. I can look after myself, you know."

Or should I stick with my initial instinct and let Astarion pour his soul into the first letter? I feel like it would make for better narrative tension if I didn't, and instead made a start contrast between what Astarion actually feels and what he allows himself to write.

I would love to know if anyone else has an opinion on it because the people I usually bounce writing ideas off of haven't finished the game yet. Please help!

Also, here's a link to the fic if you'd like to read chapter 1!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/50215084/chapters/126824515