#it's so hard i wouldnt wish it on anyone

[klapollo]

i dont talk about my ocd much because im blessed enough to have worked hard enough at my ERP and taking my meds for a long time that it doesnt really interfere with my life too badly right now but it ruined me for a long, long time. i lost many years of my life -- especially my early adulthood -- to it. my grades suffered. my social life was nonexistent for a long time. i missed out on so many things i'll never get back.

there were months where all i would do was sit on the couch and literally scream at the top of my lungs because i was constantly doing mental compulsions and i wanted to silence my intrusive thoughts. ive had nearly every theme you can imagine -- contamination, scrupulosity, sexual OCD, real event OCD, numbers, superstitions. i only really got to a point where i could finally function about two years ago, after being in and out of a deep haze since i started college, and i still struggle from time to time with some things.

i guess what im saying here is if youre in the throes of severe mental illness right now, even if it's been years, youre not hopeless and you can find a way to live with it. i'll be fighting this battle for the rest of my life and i have to be constantly vigilant to avoid relapsing, and there's a good chance i will anyway, but i like to think i get stronger every time i fight it off again.

[samarecharm]

geniunely not trying to put words in ur mouth im geniunely asking: what do you actually like about persona 5? from all ur rants im just wondering why you didnt drop the game bc it seems (again, im not trying to put words in ur mouth) that it simply not for you? i geniunely have not felt any of the issues you bring up outside of the writing ones and i cannot tell if i'm just easily pleased and not good at discerning what a good game is or we simply have dif things we enjoy in a video game. i hate getting tone across text but im asking out of geniune curiosity im not trying to attack your opinion (;-;)

Nah, i dont feel like ur attacking me, and I hope u dont feel the same when u see my complaints! Lmao. In my defense, I am replaying the game for the first time after completing my first file back in 2020, so alot of the faults i kinda shrugged off in my first playthrough are now glaringly in my face now that I no longer have the confusion and interest in learning the main story to keep me occupied. The game is clunky all the way through, and at some times, even frustratingly so.

But despite that, i do like this game. Alot! Its probably one of my top games ever if im being honest!

This ended up way longer than I intended, so im putting it under a readmore to keep the post short on dashboards

If i had to describe what I liked about the game in the simplest way imaginable…I think I would say, I like how the game makes me feel :) I like the music. I like the vibe. I like the immersion from city to city, and I like the premise! I like the characters and I like the connections you make with these characters! As im replaying this game, i am most excited to see Akira and his comments about the world :) i like hearing everyones voices, I like their little interactions in Mementos, and I like seeing them fight!

P5 is the first game I played in the series; its the game that introduced me to SMT in the first place! And it (smt) is a series that my longtime best friend LOVES and never thought hed be able to share with me! It is a game i keep very near to my heart; it has influenced me in ways i did not think would happen in the short couple of years since i first finished it. It genuinely keeps me awake some nights thinking about the world this game has created, and I think that is a testament to the impact its had, be it good or bad.

The joke about wishing theyd make a persona game that was Good is that despite all of its numerous flaws, the games manage to snatch your attention and pull you in anyway. Imagine if they made a game that had all of those things that i mentioned I loved, but done Right and executed Properly?? Where I got to have a story that made sense and didnt need to be spoonfed to me (in like an HOUR of dialogue and scenes; an HOUR!), and characters that talked and bonded beyond the tiny snippets of interaction theyre allowed to have in mementos? Combat that let me use PERSONAS i liked instead of BUILDS that stop me from getting instakilled throughout the entirety of the endgame, and a Persona building mechanic that didnt feel like I was shooting in the dark looking for possible fusions that end up not even being useful in the endgame.

Ive mentioned it before, but I complain so much bc I have seen what a good p5 game looks like, and its Strikers almost to a T. Combat is still your typical warriors-esque style combat, but it is at least different from the turn based strategy of the main game. Characters talk to each other freely, they hang out and comfort each other in a way that feels more connected that the base game. Strikers implements the ability to see ALL possible fusions with ALL registered personas, not just the ones in your Stock, so you can fuse easily without having yo consult a guide. The story feels like it makes SENSE with antagonists that feel morally grey and sympathetic. Genuinely, alot of the complaints for p5 I had were almost immediately rectified in this game.

But please also know that the praises I sing for this game is only bc of the groundwork laid by p5 and the world it created. Thats what I like about this game, that it had such a captivating premise and cast of characters, that a DIFFERENT company was able to hit the ground running with them. P5 had alot happening in that game, but i think what it had most was potential. The effort put into this game is astronomical, and the possible connections you can outright MISS if u arent paying attention was worth the money and time to implement; even if it meant that it could be considered a waste of resources to higher ups.

Books and games and part time jobs???!! Silly little cutscenes that add nothing to the game PLOTwise, but define and flesh out the personality of your protagonist. There was alot of love put into this game, and its evident by the fact that we have NOT seen a new persona game released; they bank on existing titles bc they are unwilling to make a game like this from scratch again. They dont want to ‘waste’ resources on good voice acting and a complex, overarching story; they dont want to waste money on scenes a player may never see, on routes a player may never get to experience. Making a game that gives u even the slightest bit of freedom means more money in programming and detailing that freedom. This has been an issue for a WHILE, and its a miracle that the gaming landscape had space for a colossal title like p5!

I complain bc I want better, and I do not think that is inherently at odds with my love of this game. In b4 im told to get good; ive played on hard and tested out merciless (its NOT fun, im making godbuilds again and its boring 😞). Its not the most accessible turnbased rpg; theres no colorblind modes, and the affinity system is convoluted and overwhelming. Combo moves are hard to keep track of and it can be incredibly frustrating to see your turns being skipped or seeing characters take extreme technical damage without understanding WHY it happened. The fact that they KNEW the game was desperate for qol improvements by the time royal came out, and instead of updating the base game to have those improvements too, they just pushed the royal edition out for people to play instead. It sucks! Customers and fans deserve better than being forced to shell out money for a game they already played !

As the gaming climate gets more and more hostile and unbearable, I think it is good to look at your games critically, and understand why products come out subpar. Persona 5 is a fun game that has a nice cast and an interesting premise, but it is ultimately tied down by its refusal to build on existing building blocks regarding its combat, and it insists on having insulting and downright out of character dialogue and scenes to appease the audience its designed to be targeted to. It is easy to forget sometimes that queer ppl are infact NOT the prime target of these games, its cishet gamer bros from aged 16 to 40 who will laugh at homophobic comments, who drool over a 16 yr old girl with a 16 yr old mindset and a grown womans body, who need to be placated with constant sexual comments to deal with a convoluted story that will inevitably make zero sense until its laid out for you before the literal end of the game.

Its bad. Its good. Its so shallow and its unbelievable that they thought having the plot twist make ZERO sense until they showed CUTSCENES of YOUR character discussing Goro and his connections to the metaverse for endgame SHOCK VALUE was more important than just having your team be smart and piece it together over time. Its shit. Its literally amazing. It let you FUCK your teacher ??????????????what the FUCK. They also let me shoot a god in the face w the best looking ult persona in the world so i can ignore that shit. And ultimately that is how i got through the game. Lol.

[toastsnaffler]

was gonna say smth else but this turned into a vent sorry everyone just ignore. typical weekend post on this blog u know how it is here we go👍

[dreadfuldevotee]

i am just...so profoundly tired of being me

[todayisafridaynight]

Prior to sending the ask I was just guessing what matrophobia meant based on the root words but I looked it up after and went ohhhh and then you confirmed that extra dimension to it and I went OHHHHH

I think that gets to the heart of what I've been thinking about, that bittersweetness, because despite his best efforts... of course he could never end up anything like Yoko, but he still ended up with an abusive "household." Because in addition to Masato ending up how he did, he has to see those same situations play out, feel that same tension in the air between Jo and Ichi, over and over for almost a decade straight.

Like, in a way, he's forced to put himself in Toshio's shoes when that happens. He can't really get through to Jo, in the same way Toshio can't get through to Yoko, but he can try to step in before lasting damage is done, and he can try to make it bearable for his son. You know. Have a nice talk. Treat him to Peking duck. I'm SO normal about the (drawn-out) parallels of those scenes

So then with Jo... he kind of does become his father, even if he never wanted to (no one wants to), both through his ruinous neglect of Masato at birth and through how he comes to look at discipline and corporal punishment. I'm sure it's not lost on him in Masato's case (owww), but with Ichi, it's not like he has any reason to see him as his son... But How Far Can That Take You.

Because it's like, at the start, he was openly beating Ichi in front of Arakawa and not letting up much when Arakawa intervened. But then you have The Yubitsume Scene and Arakawa walking in on All That and... he looks sorry. Sorry for being caught, probably, but sorry nonetheless. Like... what changed between then and now... have you two had a Heartfelt Conversation... do you know where Arakawa got that scar... are you unable to change your "nature" even then...

Side note bro your SHOE is the size of his TORSO I promise you do not need to kick him with all the strength you've got like what the hell is this 😭😭😭

BUT ALL THAT ASIDE thank you so much for delving into the symbolism! Wonderful read. I don't really have an eye for symbolism, so that makes it all the more enjoyable to revisit the comic and everything with what you've gone into. I think a lot of your experiences resonate with mine, so conversely I'm not sure what others would take away from it, BUT I think there's enough there that's so insightful and evocative that it's effective without personal experience. I don't think there's anything I could add, so. Yeah. For once I am happy to sit back and take it all in... On that note, definitely looking forward to your next comic!

AUUUGH YEAAAH YEAHEYA HYEAH THAT EXACTLY OUUUGH OWIEE OWW.....

that's literally it though. like no extra notes. except The Obligatory Few i dont think it was an accident that arakawa is set up as the beginning of the game's 'protagonist' and planting that 'troubled family' taste first thing in our mind. i remember how i felt when i first saw arakawa walk in on jo and ichi and then arakawa taking ichi out for dinner i was just like🧍‍♂️Girl No The Cycle.... It's Continuing...... //screams// LIKE UGH IT WAS SO GOOD BUT ALSO OWWW STOPPP and then on the REPLAY it just hurts more cause with the added context to jo's character its like Oh No...... You're Your Father's Son....

and youre right: jo doesn't have an implicit reason to see how he treats ichi is wrong, hence he similarly doesnt have any reason to stop- not unless arakawa intervenes of course (and i will stand outside my window thinking of the possibility arakawa ever did try to have A Conversation with jo... arms folded behind my back and all like Man™️....)

oh but yeah, absolutely no problem ! im lowkey of an egotist so i do like to talk bout the stuff i make. More In Depth (though thats obvious considering the fuckin essays in the tags i always leave ☠️☠️) gerjlgaELKjg. so i was happy to explain ♪(´▽｀) !! what i like about symbolism is that it can be intentional or not, and the fun is always finding it just by chance. i cant explain it properly, but i just think its a neat 'seasoning' of sorts to drawings (❁´◡`❁)

[yerdad]

Hi! Know I've been inactive for a bit and that probably isn't gonna change! I have other stuff to say but it'll be in the tags lol

[femmefaggot]

genuinely very very happy about maya still Do Not get me wrong. I simply wish... the world was better and less cruel. and that I was not complicit in that cruelty. and that honorspren in shadesmar werent such hypocrites.

[pizzapizzadickz]

I've been popping pills like they're candy lately. (Also known as I've been in pain a lot and my allergies are horrible bc of all the mold in my room).

[tortademaracuya]

books that make me want to stay alone in my home forever and die

[ikishima]

.

[toastsnaffler]

trying to watch all of us strangers and it's just making me cry really hard this is why I don't do romance movies WAH

[elegyofthemoon]

@longagoitwastuesday see you get it lol

I dont remember Alice's voice tbh I think it was like one of those voices where I just shrugged off because every female anime character sounds like that... not to say thats a GOOD thing but its just 😔 Ah. Okay

BUT OK you get what I mean right?? about Jack's voice?? Like it's not Jack. It's a good voice just not for HIS character >_>

I don't remember much about the anime either. Last time I watched it was 4 years ago when I finally revisited PH, so I only ever remember being nitpicky about Leo and that's also because Elliot and Leo were the reasons I picked up the series and finally finished it again jfndndn so I was like. sorely disappointed fjdjdj

[consciouschunkofmoss]

there is a strange realization that all my (irl) friendships were given for a kind of a tatic to just stay afloat in school, which if stripped down from the dynamic itself just akes it so. shallow ? sometimes you do manage to find the typical "friends by convenience" and i can be pretty happy about connections like this when our interests somewhat allign, but the moment that things start get out from more formal settings - when they ask you to hang out, or to visit you at home - my brain cant find happiness from that anymore

and i feel horrible for that

[g-ghostic-basil]

Fixation so bad I'm making a fan song for an amalgamation of pixels

[booty-uprooter]

some tips on how to make bosses easier if youre feeling theyre too hard:

play a ranged physical dps class. that way you can hang back to keep an eye on the arena and what the boss is doing without having to worry about needing to stand still long enough to complete an induction

on that note, inductions are considered finished before the bar is full. you can usually move right before it fills and still have it go off, but it takes some trial and error to figure out how close you can cut it

move your ui around. my own life was made immeasurably easier when i put the target right above my hotbar so i wouldnt have to pay attention to both the top and bottom of the screen at the same time, but try stuff out and see what works best for you

the best time to mitigate an attack is right before the boss finishes casting it. the second best time is as soon as the mit becomes available, every time it becomes available

use addle and feint. you almost never see these used in casual content and it's a waste because they really are extremely useful skills at any level

use arm's length and surecast. there are some knockbacks they dont work on but those are rare. if you know youre gonna get pushed, use these and you probably won't get pushed

take advantage of duty support. the npcs know the mechanics. watch them and let them teach you

particle effects cant hurt you (usually). with the exception of puddles that stay on the ground for a while or layered stacks like akh morn, as long as youre not standing on the marker when it disappears (or are if it's a stack), you're in the clear. feel free to move through the animation if necessary. more and more mechanics require you to do so to be in position for the next one in time

it's usually fine to let spread markers overlap. just, yknow, make sure another person isnt in yours (though its the responsibility of anyone without a spread to keep themselves out of harms way)

when in doubt, ask your party members. it's extremely rare to match with a group of randos and have everyone be a first-timer. most players are happy to help, and the ones that know the mechanics but are bad at explaining them will usually just stick a marker on themselves (usually a triangle) for you to follow

read your tool tips. boss fights are as much a test of how well you know your class as they are your ability to read and react to mechanics. unless youre playing a healer or paladin, youre going to use your entire kit, so make sure you know what everything does

on that note, freecure is a scam. once you get cure ii/benefic ii, you will never need cure or benefic again. keep them on your hotbar for when you get synced content if you wish, but otherwise you do not need them. do not use them

if you play multiple classes, try to keep skills that do the same/similar things at the same spot on your hotbar. this isn't always possible bc despite what some may claim, not all classes of the same type are actually identical, but it will save you a lot of headaches

entirely new and unique mechanics are rare to the point of being nigh nonexistent. everything is a remix of something else and practicing in lower level content can actually be a big help

look up guides. the internet is full of them in pretty much whatever form works best for you (though they can be of admittedly variable quality)

turn down party effects. theyre on one of the tabs under character configuration > controls. if you put them on minimum you can still see heals and such but you wont have your screen constantly full of explosions

turn on target health percentage. this one is under character configuration > ui. it lets you better see how close the boss is to going down

make summons smaller. we all love titan's ass but not when it's the only thing you can see. "/petsize all small" will make this problem go away

relax and have fun. panicking leads to mistakes, which can lead to worse mistakes. if you need to take a second to breathe, do so. your party members probably wont mind waiting a minute or two between pulls

[manmuncher777]

Hii could you do a Targaryen men and how they would react to their wife giving birth to twin boys?

Of course my love!! thank you for the ask, I love this idea. xoxo

𝐓𝐚𝐫𝐠𝐚𝐫𝐲𝐞𝐧 𝐦𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐰𝐨 𝐭𝐰𝐢𝐧 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐬

Daemon

I feel like this is going to be a really hard time for Daemon, he would be full of mixed emotions.

From his own experience of being a brother to the king and craving that power for himself, you can tell he worries a lot for the future. He worries that you boys will have a power struggle much like he did. The only thing he can be glad of is the fact it wont be for the crown, just the inheritance of what you and Daemon share. But still the idea worries Hi greatly. it also brings back negative memeories he has of his childhood and his relationship with his brother.

Often after spending time with your sons Daemon will take some time alone afterwards

However this doesn’t make him love his sons any less, he was so proud of you when he saw your two beautiful boys, he struggled to stay in the same room when you were giving birth due to what happened with leanna, but when he saw you wre okay and both your children were healthy, he had no worries and shot straight to you side. All he could do was whisper how proud he was of strong girl for giving him two beautiful children. You had given him his firsts sons and he couldn’t be happier,

The idea of raising young men did worry Daemon a little, he was aware that he was going to need to be more involved, and he was conscious they would turn out like him. BUt that was something he should be looking forward to you told him.

He knew it was going to be different that raising girls, but Daemon would be fine. It took him a few months to get the hang of it, but you were glad he had some male company, even if they were his children

Aemond

Truthfully Aemond was very nervous before you gave birth. However he didn’t wish to show that so he actually avoided you a bit, nothing extreme. But he would spend him evening out before coming to bed with you. He would merely go out and walk. Just thinking

He would never tell anyone this but he was worried about a good father, He couldn’t help but feel the insecurities of his childhood flowing back when he released the responsibility he was about to have

BUt when you went into labour he couldn’t even remember why he was stress, all of those thoughts melted away and were replaced by undying love for his beautiful wife.

He couldn’t believe you still managed to look angelic after having pushed two humans out of you

Honestly he didn’t care too much about the gender of your children, but when he saw you gave him two sons he couldn’t have been happier.

He swore in that moment to be an involved father in his children lives unlike his own dad.

He was going to give his children the life they deserved

during your labours he sat silently by your side, holding onto your hand and kisses your head gently. He didn’t want to stress you out any more by creating a fuss. He couldn’t believe how string you were to give him two sons in a row. but it just made him more greatful for you

Aegon

Aegon couldn’t be happier, of course there was the worry of whether you were going to birth a girl or a boy. Secretly he was happy with either but he knew that wouldnt flu with the small council.

so when you have him not one but twi boys it was safe to say he was over the moon, part of him happy that neither of you had to face the scrutiny of his mother and the hand.

And he was also happy because he had two beautiful boys who were strong and healthy

You had fear over what was happening with the succession, which son would be king? did you just pick the one that came out first, but what if you get them mixed up. or what if they fight over it in the future.

Aegon could see all the worry you had, and told you not to worry. You were getting ahead of yourself, they have only just been born

he wished to enjoy the moment.

He was right next to you when you were giving birth. otto had suggested against it but he refused to miss the birth of his first born child

Your ladies hand to move him away from you however when he started getting in the way, it wasnt on purpose to be fair. He was trying to help.

But when he saw the first of your sons in your arms no one could stop him from being by your side, and stroking you hair and you both cooed down at the newborn in front of you

When he saw you pushing again he almost let out a yell of excitement

truth be told he couldn’t wait to be a father, his children would get whatever they wanted