#it's nothing for me
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i want to disappear off the face of the earth. tonight i returned home reluctantly, i wanted to stay in the graveyard, die a beautiful death there in the middle of bird song. everything has turned to dust, all my dreams and romance i thought was there. i've got nothing and noone left in the world. nothing makes sense anymore. maybe all i've been is a delusional fool, a lunatic is all i ever was. i can't keep on existing like this, it has to stop somehow. i cannot carry all the pain, it's really too much. i'm not here, i exist among people, but i'm a mere husk of a ghost.
#it was supposed to be a fun night but i got disappointed as usual#i'm really good at playing the part of a cool brave sociable person with a beer in me but inside i'm crying dying#i need people and i think group meetings could be fun but when i go to one i don't enjoy it although it was me who organised it#i thought i could be normal but who was i fooling#it's nothing for me#i'm so schizo too far gone#no hope for me now#diary#living with depression#schizoaffective disorder
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As gen-AI becomes more normalized (Chappell Roan encouraging it, grifters on the rise, young artists using it), I wanna express how I will never turn to it because it fundamentally bores me to my core. There is no reason for me to want to use gen-AI because I will never want to give up my autonomy in creating art. I never want to become reliant on an inhuman object for expression, least of all if that object is created and controlled by tech companies. I draw not because I want a drawing but because I love the process of drawing. So even in a future where everyone’s accepted it, I’m never gonna sway on this.
#personal#im still fighting it but im also a realist so I’ve accepted that this will be our future#rant#gen ai is fucking boring#I hope this doesn’t make me sound like a ‘going against the crowd. not like the rest of society’ type (it would be depressing if it did)#but yeah even in a world where it’s considered totally fine to use ai to make art I’ll still be using my bare hands#because I like it and nobody can take that from me#if you’re a young artist interested in or already using ai. just know that the thing you rely on to make art can be taken away at any point#all of it. and there’s nothing you can do about it if they decide to. it doesn’t belong to you
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I still think its the funniest shit ever that when I used to volunteer at planned parenthood every week even though I walked past mostly the same protesters every single time they were begging me not to get an abortion theres other options yadda yadda. Like meemaw you see me here every week. They call me abortions georg because I get another one every Monday at 8am
#less fun was the guy who followed me for multiple blocks to the light rail station :/#nothing made me more pro abortion than realizing what freaks anti choice people are
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Reblog to let your followers know that they’re safe from jumpscares/screamers/etc from you on April 1st but they are NOT safe from getting boop’d like an idiot amen
#:3c#pho.posts#april fools#boop#april fools day#1k#5k#10k#20k#50k#75k#these numbers mean Nothing to me anymore...#100k#<- CRAZY. CRAZY THINGS HAPPENING
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outcast of the village
#werewolf#folklore#slavic#poland#folk clothing#folk costume#wolf#me when The Peasants (2023) i hate that movie#nothing against it I actually love how it's made along with the soundtrack and references to polish paintings#but having watched it in cinema it triggered so many traumas that i wanted to immediately leave the screening room#kto się wychował na polskiej wsi ten się w cyrku nie śmieje#art#pl#polblr#how much more tags can i fit to get people to notice this? let's see!
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My baby daughter got her adorable puffin-print dress absolutely CAKED in mud crawling around the yard and my first thought was "oh no her beautiful dress"
And my second thought was "oh huh it really WOULD be easy to unconsciously steer her away from playing in the dirt. Unlike my son, whose outfits are usually some kind of solid dark easily washed pants plus a shirt that doesn't trail in the dirt like a dress does."
Anyway something something gender roles start getting shoved on kids from literal birth, but with a little time to think about things, YOU TOO can let your children of any gender absolutely destroy their clothes in the dirt pit they're digging in your garden
#all clothes provided through hand me downs and grandparents#we asked for non strongly gendered or branded things and that mostly worked for firstborn boy#but baby girl has gotten nothing but the cutest little dresses#that I am absolutely not going to stress if she destroys because it's not like they'll last until next summer anyway#at which point she'll be big enough for her brother's dirt-compatible pants#now if we can get her to stop EATING the dirt that would be GRAND#her pronouns are om/nom#literal definition of a baby
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#when you’re a humanities scholar#and more#like when they ask me what is your blog about#it’s about nothing but it’s actually everything to me#just found this and thought#wow isn’t it still relevant#i can tell you all about bouba and kiki but you’d be surprised to know how much of the generally quotidian stuff i have 0 clue about#10k
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crown jewel/stained glass jello cakes are like beautiful angels to me. it's fruity and delicious. it's retro kitsch. it's an edible example of midcentury minimalist art in every cross section.
i understand the 50s housewife appeal here. if i rolled up to the potluck with a fugly cobbler and my neighbor brought one of these i may have to end my stupid sloppy fruit life.
#i genuinely find nothing more beautiful than this. why.#my dad literally came home and started talking to me abt hmong jello while i was writing this post what are the odds.#jello fever in the air tonite....#.txt
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Guys ive been reading peak
#dandadan#momo ayase#ayase momo#okarun#seiko ayase#ayase seiko#cant believe the actual plot of this show is “this guy's genitals were stolen and we have to get them back” 💀#theyre so funny i love these guys#its like if mob psycho and csm had a foolish baby#the stupids ever#dont get scared by that one scene in that first episode thats the worst it ever gets i heard the creator was forced to put it in or no manga#just like olan and that piss fight scene in final space sighhhhhhhh evil people in charge..............#okarun and ayase are so silly i love them sm they make me go YYYAAAAYYYYYY ^_^^^^^^^^^^#ignore the bad sizing for the letters my handwrutung is naturally horrible plus i was hella zoomed in shhhhhhhhhhh you see nothing........#LIVE LAUGH LOVE !!!!!!!! YAYYYYY !!!!!!!!!!!!
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she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.
my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.
my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.
my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.
at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.
my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.
i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.
two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.
it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.
#writeblr#wlw#i often think about like.....#being happy in a gay relationship is sometimes so odd#bc u can forget how stupid ppl are.#bc ur so USED to being gay. and u forget other people GENUINELY ARE homophobic#so it's like. girl pardon?????#but also there are moments where it's like. ohhh the kids are alright#like watching someone razz someone else.... so fucking wholesome#“lemme get this bitche's pronouns before i make gentle fun of them” .... i would have KILLED for that.#THAT is how u know ur accepted#not just tolerated#..... when ppl are like. sure ur nonbinary congrats but WHAT is this fucking sunscreen application#ps idk if "razz'' is a real word but someone asked what it means -#i've always heard it as being a term for 'gentle & friendly teasing'' which like#i personally notice more from my guy friends but is like - when a person isn't#LIKE ACTUALLY teasing u (it's nothing personal/mean) they're just laughing w/you about something#my friends often put on a little voice and call me an anemic little bitch#like 'ooooo the anemic little bitch is cold??? does she need a mouse blanket#bc she's SOOOO SMALL AND ANEMIC???''#and it doesn't hurt my feelings (it makes me laugh very hard) bc 1. i actually called MYSELF that first#and 2. i'm not sensitive about it!!!#a proper razz is when you are ALSO in on the joke - i ALSO think it's funny#for some people i personally find that when they razz u it's when they love u -#they've noticed something genuine about u and love u enough that u know they're not being mean#this is cultural and personality based of course but i'm hispanic#if someone isn't making fun of me it means they hate me . obviously.
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take your clothes off and get on the bed what no we aren’t having sex right now we’re cuddling and pressing every inch of skin together as close as possible for the next six hours
#wlw#wlw mood#sapphic#sapphism#lesbian#sometimes you just need to be CLOSE ya know#also i went to bed really early last night and slept So Well#and i just woek up and im still realllll sleepy#which is why i seized the chance to post this#because i get too shy and embarrassed to whenever i try to do it when im not half asleep#pointign and laughing at fully awake me rn🫵#lmao loser ass🫵🫵🫵#now it’s posted and there’s nothing you can do about it#im gay and i like sleeping
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every time some jerk complains about the new minecraft update “not adding any value to the game” i think about that one jschlatt clip where he discovers a lush cave for the first time and is genuinely rendered speechless by its beauty. so much of minecraft’s charm and beauty is exploring and discovering new lands and generation and falling in love with a world that was made for you and to love you
who give a shit if the pale garden doesn’t “add” anything game breaking. it will be worth it for the hundreds of thousands of players who stumble upon it by chance. only a few people will be able to relate to being handed a new op block/mechanism on a platter but everyone remembers the feeling of still being new to minecraft and the wonder of uncovering all its quirks. it’s about the loving the universe for its smallest of features and creatures as the love letters tho humanity that they are not exploiting the universe for all that its worth jackass ‼️‼️‼️
#icarus speaks#discourse#jschlatt lush cave clip……. jschlatt lush cave clip save me…….#have we learned nothing from the giving tree
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i hope (know) this is how everyone who has ever fumbled me feels
#femmeofhearts thoughts#lesbian#certified weird femme#this is totally not about anything specific that i’m still mad about at all wdym#i love nothing more than to haunt people#ooo yes you cannot escape the thought of me oooooo#femme dyke
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Me when I remember something I said ages ago that was wrong or my values no longer align with
#my path of self improvement has been less self righteous and personally gainful#and more just. a lot of embarrassment and pain#like i wouldnt change the path i took to get where i am now but i wouldve chosen to travel that path sooner because omg#nothing hits me like the fear that future me will feel the same way about right now me that right now me feels about past tense me
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"he would not fucking say that" but you ever be looking at fanart and suddenly its "he would not fucking have abs"
#txt#guys. guys this is not about hcs. do you hear me this is about when a guy with no logical reason to have abs is drawn like a hollister model#like when a guy who does nothing but go to coffee shops and read books is drawn with abs like hes been hiking mountains and climbing trees#do you hear me are you hearing me
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