#femmeofhearts thoughts

[femmeofhearts]

i hope (know) this is how everyone who has ever fumbled me feels

[femmeofhearts]

just imagine something with me, now

we go out, maybe to a house party or a bar or even a club. i’m wearing one of my shortest skirts, mainly for you, even though i know it drives you crazy that other people get to see me like this. but you love how good i look and how confident i am too much to protest.

i act sweet, as usual, but all night i’m teasing you. gripping onto your bicep with my nails lightly digging in just right as you lead me around, looking up at you through my lashes with my eyes round and innocent each time you speak to me, grinding my barely covered ass ever so slightly against you to the music.

it’s torture, and i know it, even though i pretend not to. i feel the way your hand slips around my waist and grips me tighter, see the way your jaw clenches when you look at me. it only makes the wetness between my legs increase, makes me bite my lip and blush ever so slightly.

by the time we get home, you’re at your breaking point, and i’m still keeping up my act as long as i can to keep pushing you. you pretend to be calm and chivalrous, opening the car door for me and keeping a steady hand around me as we head inside, but we can both feel the thick tension that surrounds us. i barely have enough time to take off my heels before you’re on me, shoving me against the wall with a hand around my throat.

you’ll spend the rest of the night taking your frustration out on me, and i won’t even try to pretend that i don’t love every second of it - because we both know i do, and it’s exactly what i wanted all along <3

[femmeofhearts]

so sorry for disappearing i was actually losing my mind over a woman but it’s fine won’t happen again (it will happen again)

[femmeofhearts]

every time i get new nails my carnal desire to dig them into someone’s scalp and grip onto their biceps and rake them down their back increases tenfold

and i just got new nails

[femmeofhearts]

after being personally victimized by a game of slap cup at a party on saturday i am now officially taking applications for a butch who will offer to drink for me when it’s too much and think it’s endearing and totally not embarrassing that i can’t drink beer for the life of me

[femmeofhearts]

my work’s giant holiday party is old hollywood glam themed this year and the fact that i don’t have an equally romantic butch to dress up and get way too into it with me is honestly heartbreaking

[femmeofhearts]

not to be sappy and reflective on main, and feel free to ignore this, but…i think something that is really important in relationships that can be sometimes overlooked is putting care and attention into the things your s/o cares about, even if it’s not something you would typically care all that much about.

for example, one of my biggest love languages is gift giving. while i was in a relationship with my ex, every year i asked for the same type of flowers for my birthday - light pink roses (i like a very specific shade). nothing big, no huge complicated bouquet or fancy extras. just the roses.

every single year she got the wrong shade. i celebrated three birthdays with her.

is it small and silly and stupid to most people? probably. but it still made hurt pang inside my chest every time.

and the fact of the matter is, this isn’t the only instance of this sort i could reference. there were a lot of “small” things like this that, when they all added up together, turned into a really significant source of hurt for me, especially as we dated and lived together for longer and longer.

anyways. this is the shade of roses i like. i think they’re very pretty :)

i like to think that maybe somebody someday will get my roses right.

[femmeofhearts]

continuing this thought now i just listen to vintage music and resist the urge to rip my hair out thinking about slow dancing to it with a lover and leaning my head on their shoulder as we sway

the vintage music & aesthetic obsessed little girl to hopeless romantic femme pipeline is real and i am a victim of it

[femmeofhearts]

finding out people expect me to be shorter than i am is so confounding to me. like i know i’m not that tall but do i not at least give off tall energy ?? 😭