#it's not... it's really not like anything we have in the real world. it's Different.

[aciddrattboyy]

Cαɳ Iƚ Bҽ Oɳҽ Nιɠԋƚ

┆ꜱʏɴᴏᴘꜱɪꜱ - "megumi knew he needed to stay away from you. you came from two very different worlds. but god, he was having a real hard time staying away."

ᴍᴏᴠɪᴇ ꜱᴛᴀᴛꜱ: ★ Starring: Megumi F. x F! Reader ★ Run Time: 5.4k ★ Genre/Warnings: [Rated R: Adult Film/Drama/Rom] angst, smut, oral(m!receiving), penetrative sex, saying the L word during sex(all characters aged up!) ★ 01 . 02. [COMPLETED] ★ honestly this might be my best/fav fic ever, i wrote it high one night from 12am to 5am before my 7am shift at work. megumi is one of my favorite characters like ever and i always enjoy writing him

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megumi loved you. god he loved you so fucking much. he wanted to be with you, make you his. but there was one problem. you were a non sorcerer. you knew nothing of the jujutsu world. and megumi wasn’t selfish enough to bring you into it. as he walked into an abandoned building , the events of earlier today plagued his mind.

“hi megumi!” your face lit up as he walked into the diner you worked at, coming from behind the counter to give him a hug. he didn’t hug you back, swallowing the lump in his throat as he gently pushed you off of him by your shoulders. you looked at him with a small frown, not sure what was going on and why he looked so anxious.

“when do you get off,” megumi’s voice was low, hoping that maybe you wouldn’t be able to hear him and he could just blow it off and pretend he wasn’t about to do this. he watched as you pulled out your phone to check the time, looking up at him with a small smile.

“in half an hour… is everything okay?” megumi could see the concern on your face and thought he was about to cry. 

“uh i just need to talk to you about something,” you frowned when he didn’t directly answer the question. it made you feel uneasy and you wanted to question him more. but instead you just nodded.

“okay uh i guess you can just wait at one of the tables,” he nodded, the thin line of lips unwavering. you offered him one final smile before heading back off to work the register. you couldn’t help but glance over at him every once in a while from where he sat. he seemed fidgety, nervous, and distraught, all things you’ve never seen from him before. you furrowed your eyebrows, trying so hard to figure out what could be bothering him. 

time seemed to drag one for hours as you rang up customer after customer. but soon enough, your shift was ending and you were plastering on a fake smile as you said your goodbyes to your coworkers. 

“hey,” you spoke gently as you stood in front of megumi, tenderly placing your hand on his shoulder to get his attention. when he raised his head from his hands there was one word you’d use to describe his face. tired. 

he silently stood up, pushing in his chair and immediately shoving his hands in his pockets before you could even think about intertwining yours fingers with his. you followed behind him silently, a sense of dread pooling in your stomach. when you reached your car he finally turned to look at you. 

“y/n,” megumi spoke firmly, putting extra effort into making sure his voice didn’t waver. “i know we aren’t official or anything but i think its best if-”

“i understand,” you cut him off, your voice cracking slightly at the end. having had this conversation many times before, you didn’t really want to do it again. so instead you give him a polite smile. “i appreciate you telling me,” you nodded at him once before opening the door to your car. megumi was… dumbfounded to say the least. he didn’t expect things to be this easy and even though he should be grateful for it, he couldn’t help but feel a little hurt.

“wait-,” megumi spoke before he could think, a feeling of desperation clouding his mind. “i lo-,”

“don’t,” you cut him off once again, this time the hurt in your voice more prominent. you looked at him with tears pooling in your lashes. this situation feeling all too familiar to ones in the past made you snap. “dont fucking say shit you don’t mean,” your voice was filled with pain while megumi stood there and looked at you with shock. “goodbye megumi, thank you for taking the time to tell me.” with one final nod, you got in your car and drove off, leaving megumi alone in the dark parking lot to process what just happen.

“fuck,” he cursed to himself as he walked towards the door, not wanting to replay those moments while he’s supposed to be exorcizing. with one glance back, he watched as ijichi finished opening a barrier before getting back in his car. megumi had told him that he didn’t need to wait for him and while ijichi was on the fence about it, he reluctantly listened to megumi. 

with a deep breath he passed the threshold of the building and immediately could feel the cursed energy grow stronger than what it was outside. he looked around before summoning his demon dog, warily walking deeper into the building. 

from what he was told, there seemed to just be a couple low level curses, nothing he really needed to worry about. a loud crash rang through the building and megumi was quick to face in the direction of it. 

there was a curse crouching by a pillar, its energy was low and megumi wasted no time before ordering demon dog to exorcize it. after it was gone, megumi felt like something was off, the cursed energy still being very prominent. 

then it happened, another curse appeared with what felt like twice the amount of cursed energy. how did he not notice it before? he was quick to summon nue, having it strike the curse while he tried to move to a spot where he’d get the advantage. but the curse was quick, immediately tracking megumi’s movements.

it wasn’t particularly too strong, megumi knew he would be able to exorcize it with a little work. but what megumi wasn’t prepared for, was it’s abilities. right before he was about to attack, the curse made some sort of intelligible noise and suddenly he was frozen. 

memories of his life began to flash through his mind and for a second he thought maybe he was dying. faces of the important people of his life flashing before his eyes and then you. he saw you so vividly in his mind. you were smiling, giggling as you looked at him like he was the brightest star in the night sky. but then it flashed to your teary eyes, your pained voice echoing in his mind. 

all this was cut short when megumi was hit in his gut. blood spilled out of his mouth as he cried out in pain. vision blurry with tears he didn’t even know he was shedding, he began to attack the curse and with the help of nue and demon dog, he was able to exorcize. 

feeling the cursed energy disperse, megumi let his shoulders slump as he fell to the ground. wiping his eyes with the back of his hands he examined his palms. his hands were shaking, his whole body was shaking. tears were beginning to fall down his already wet cheeks again as his thoughts ran a marathon aside his head, 

he felt like he was going to be sick, he thought he was about to die. he thought his life was truly flashing behind his eyes and he saw you. you were sad. you were hurt. he thought he was going to die and the last thing he saw was your hurt face. his head was dizzy and he almost fell over as he stood up. 

megumi was now regretting telling ijichi to leave. with a sigh he surveyed his surroundings and realized it looked a little familiar. looking back at the building he just exited, he realized it was the very same building you warned him about. 

“look that building over there,” you pointed towards your window as you drove, glancing at megumi before turning back to the road. “it’s so creepy. whenever i pass by i feel a shiver go down my spine,”  you flashed a smile at megumi, missing his blush as you looked back at the road “but for some reason with you in the car im not scared,”

before megumi even realized it, he was at your front door. seeing the doormat with the silly cat that both of you laughed at being the only thing snapping him back to reality. he fished his phone out of his pocket, checking the time. it was late. you were probably asleep now. he should just call ijichi and head home.

he went to take a step back the way he came but before he could even move, memories of what saw in that abandoned building flooded his mind and within a matter of seconds he knocked on your door. megumi knocked only twice, firmly telling himself that if you didn’t answer he was going to leave you alone. much to both his relief and his dismay, you opened the door. 

“megumi?” by the tone of your voice he could tell that you were probably heading to bed soon. “oh my god- megumi-” the sudden change in your tone startled him as he looked at your now horrified expression. “what the fuck happened to you-,” your voice was full of alarm as you took in the sight of the man in front of you. he was leaning against the wall, superficial cuts all over his arms, a bigger cut on his shoulder, and already drying blood coming from what looked like his head. 

“i-,” he took a step forward, quickly tripping over his own legs that felt like they were submerged in concrete, and falling into your arms. you squeaked as his body fell onto you, just barely catching him and stumbling backwards into your apartment. you led him to your couch, panting lightly as you carried the brunt of his weight. 

“stay right there- do not move, let me go grab a first aid kit,” you spoke firmly, watching as megumi’s eyelids fluttered. his head lolled to the side as uneven breaths left his partially open mouth. your hands were shaking violently as you fumbled to grab the kit, opening it quickly to see what was in it. frowning, you looked at the scarce amounts of supplies.

hurry back into the living room you felt your heart stop for a second when you saw how still he was. quickly getting on the couch next to him, dropping the med kit on your lap, you cupped his face in your hands. 

“megumi- megumi please- should i call someone-”

“no,” his voice was hoarse. he sounded pained, as if he was using all his energy just to speak. “don’t… call anyone ‘m fine,” his head slumped against the back cushion of the couch, eyes still shut as his ragged breathing shook through him. 

“megumi you’re bleeding,” your hands clumsily grabbed a pad and a bottle of alcohol before gingerly grabbing his arm. megumi made no move to stop you, sighing at the feeling of your hands on him. the two of you sat in silence as you tended to his arm aside from the low hisses coming from megumi because of the alcohol and mumbled sorry’s from you. when you got to the cut on his shoulder you grabbed a small pair of scissors. “i’ll have to cut the sleeve off,” you spoke mostly to yourself, getting a slight nod from megumi. you worked quickly, cutting off the sleeve and cleaning it as best as your limited medical knowledge would allow you. “it doesn’t look that bad,” you said absentmindedly as you began to wrap his shoulder with gauze.

the corners of megumi’s lips twitch at the somewhat foreign treatment. usually in this scenario he would’ve gone to shoko, cuts like the one he has now seeming so small. and here you were, fussing over it and trying to console him. megumi found that he much preferred this over what he was used to.

shifting in your seat, you leaned forward, bringing your hand to megumi’s head to move his hair out of his face to see where the bleeding was coming from. to your relief it wasn’t coming from his head, but a very small gash on his head. being so focused on cleaning the cut, you didn’t realize megumi was now looking up at you until you reached down to grab a bandage. you smiled at him reassuringly, a small heat flooding your cheeks as you applied the bandage and smoothed out his hair. 

“all better,” you sighed, placing the kit on the coffee table before leaning back onto the couch facing megumi. you looked deep into his eyes, searching for answers you were probably never going to get. “you gonna tell me what happened,” you asked lightly, cocking an eyebrow at him. 

“i wish i could,” megumi’s voice was solemn, making you genuinely believe there was something keeping him from telling you. deciding to let it go, you switched topics. 

“you look ridiculous,” you motioned to the jagged ends of the sleeve to his shirt. megumi snorted, rolling his eyes. 

“you’re the one who cut it,” seeing megumi smile, no matter how small it was, made you feel a bit better. he didn’t seem to be in too much pain thankfully. 

“i’ll go get you a shirt to sleep in,” you got up from the couch, reaching down to grab the kit and put it away on your way to your room.

“sleep in?” he lifted his head to look at you, eyes widening slightly. 

“well do you have a way home,” megumi let his head rest against the cushions again. truthfully, he could call ijichi and if he didn’t answer he could call yuji, he knew for a fact that guy was still awake. but instead he found himself shaking his head. 

“then youre sleeping here,” you said with finality as you walked to your room. once you were out of sight of megumi in the confines of your room you found yourself shaking slightly. just to think you were about to head to bed and now the boy you were in love with was injured on your couch. you shook your hands as if trying to shake all of the nerves out of you before heading to your dresser. grabbing one of the many oversized shirts you own, you walked back out to the living. megumi was in the same position as when you left, his chest rising and falling in what looked like a much more normal tempo. “here, you can put this on,” you placed it on his lap, hands lingering for a split second on his thigh before you pulled away. 

“thank you y/n,” he looked up at you again, sitting up as he grabbed the shirt. 

“youre welcome megumi,” shooting him a smile, you stood up again, stretching your arms above your head. “you can sleep in my room,”

“what- no why-”

“you’re injured and my couch isn’t exactly the most comfortable,” you spoke as if this was common knowledge. as if you giving up your bed to the guy who basically broke up with you was the only reasonable option. 

“if it’s not comfortable why would you sleep here,” megumi looked at you incredulously, showing more emotion than he did when he was actively bleeding. 

“i’m used to it,” 

“i’m not going to sleep in your bed knowing you’re on the couch in your own home,” megumi’s voice was firm as he spoke, eyes locked on yours in a sort of silent battle. 

“well then do you want me to sleep with you?,” you were louder than you meant to be, eyes going wide in embarrassment at what you said. it grew silent as the two of you stared at each other. 

before you knew it, you were getting under your blankets, along with megumi. it was quiet and awkward as the two of you shifted under the covers. with your backs to each other, megumi’s mind was going wild. there was so much he wanted to say, so much he wanted to do. could he really be that selfish? could he really let himself love you and let himself be yours? did he really have it in him? surely he’d have to tell you about his line of work. would you think he was crazy? there was too much running through his mind and he began to feel tears welling in his eyes. 

“y/n,” his voice cracked as your name left his lips. 

“yea?” the two of you spoke with your backs still facing each other, both too scared of what would happen if you saw each other.

“i love you,” the words felt foreign as they slipped off his tongue. but it lifted a certain weight of his chest as they finally left him. the room became still, the only noise being your fan. he shifted under the blankets, getting slightly uncomfortable at the silence. 

“i love you too megumi,” your voice was weak, as if you too were scared to speak those words out. without giving yourself a moment to think, you rolled onto your other side, now facing megumi’s back. having heard and felt the movement, megumi followed suit. he felt his breath hitch as he took your face in. 

you were so beautiful, so kind, so loving, so sweet. you were everything megumi ever wanted and he couldnt help the weary smile that spread on his face. you returned his smile, lifting your hand to wipe a stray tear off his cheek. 

“why’re you crying,” you mumbled, now rubbing your thumb over his cheekbone. 

“ ‘cause i love you,”

“and that makes you cry?” you cocked an eyebrow at him, a small playful smile on your face. you had no idea what line you were now teetering on. had no idea what your world could possibly turn into if megumi let himself be selfish. this question from you was a rude reminder that you had no idea who he really was. 

“... yes,” his voice was sad as he kept his eyes on you. you noticed the sudden change in his tone and frowned slightly, deciding it was best to redirect where this was going. inching your face closer to his, you let your gaze flick down to his lips. megumi took in a slight breath as you moved, his eyes widening slightly. this wouldn’t be your first time kissing megumi, having gave him pecks on his cheeks and lips multiple time. but this would be the first time it truly felt real.

your eyes fluttered closed when you got close enough to feel his shallow breath fan against your lips. and within only a few moments your lips were on his. the kiss was incredibly gentle and ended way to fast for your liking when megumi pulled away. opening your eyes you see megumi staring at you with a sheepish smile on his face.

“why’re you staring at me,” you asked jokingly, now smiling with him.

“you’re just so pretty,” 

“you’re so sappy,” your teasing was lighthearted, and megumi knew that. but every joke thrown at him just reminded him that you truly don’t know how devastating this was for him. you noticed the change in his demeanor and frowned, still not having any clue what was going on with him. but before you could ask any questions, megumi pressed his lips against yours. this kiss felt different than the one you gave him. the difference in your urgency was incredibly difficult for megumi to deal with. so instead he opted for kissing you until he couldn’t think of anything but the feeling of your lips on his. 

megumis hands trembled as he slotted a hand in your hair, pulling you closer to him. you eagerly returned the passion he was putting into the kiss, pressing your body against his as you kept your hand cupping his jaw.

a small whimper left your mouth when you felt him bite down on your lower lip softly. megumi’s whole body seemed to be shaking as his hands smoothed over your side. your hand traveled to card in his hair, chest pressed firmly against his. 

megumi stilled when he felt himself growing hard, a tinge of guilt in his chest. he shouldn’t do this. he knew he shouldn’t go any farther- hell he shouldn’t have even gone this far. he shouldn’t have shown up at your door. he shouldn’t have even gotten himself involved with you in the first place-

“megumi,” you spoke softly as you could physically see him come back to the present. “you’re distracted again,” you looked over his face as you gave him the most reassuring smile you could, his lips now wet and slightly parted. 

“ ‘m sorry,” he mumbled before wrapping his arm around your waist and burying his head in the crook of your neck. you slid your leg between his, not trying to do inheritably sexual, just trying to get comfortable. but the moment your thigh pressed against his boner he hissed in your ear.  

“megumi-,”

“ i’m sorry, i’m sorry y/n,” he kept mumbling apologies into your neck and you tried to comfort him by playing with his hair. 

“you don’t have to apologize,” you whispered into your dark room, but this only made megumi feel worse. you had no idea what he was apologizing for. but he decided to take it, taking in a deep breath before lifting his head to look at you.

“thank you, i love you,” he smiled when he heard you giggle softly, pecking his lips.

“i love you too,” you were beaming up at him now and megumi had a mental war with himself to just let him enjoy the moment. “can you kiss me again,” your voice was so sweet, and you were looking at him with those pretty eyes- how could he resist. with a quick nod, his lips were on yours once more. 

things were escalating faster than megumi could keep up with and before he knew it, you were on top of him, kissing him messily while you grind down on him with your pajama bottoms long gone. small whines and moans from megumi were muffled by your lips, his hands tight on your waist. you broke the kiss to catch your breath, sitting up on megumis lap as you grabbed the hem of your shirt.

“is this okay?” you asked breathlessly, stopping your arms just before pulling your shirt up enough to show your chest. megumi’s eyes were wide as he nodded his head, feeling like he was in a daze watching you take your shirt off. seeing you in nothing but your underwear had megumi’s dick growing painfully hard in his pants and he couldn’t help his hips bucking up into you. you let out a soft sound of surprise at the pressure on your covered clit. with a smile you leaned back down, ghosting your lips over his. you watched his adams apple bobbed when you rolled your hips, a soft whine leaving both of you. megumi sat up, leaning back on his elbows as he pressed his lips into yours, both of your tongues intertwining while you continued grinding your hips against him. “do you want to do anything more” your voice was barely a whisper as you spoke against his lips. 

megumi stilled against you for just a second. this was a bad idea. a very bad idea. but god he wanted you. he wanted all of you. he wanted to be yours and he wanted to you to be his in every sense of the word. so, against his better judgment, he nodded his head, biting his lip as he watched your face light up. his eyes were glued to yours as you moved further down his body. you somehow managing to keep eye contact as you grabbed the hem of his pants had a shiver running down his spine. 

you slowly pulled his underwear and pants down in one go, giggling softly as megumi hurriedly helped by kicking them off. you smoothed your hands over his now exposed thighs, leaving wet kisses on the flesh. 

with his lip stuck between his teeth, megumi tried his hardest to not make any noise while he watched you inch your mouth closer and closer to where he wanted you to touch. and when he finally did place a kiss on his tip he thought he might cum just then. with your eyes on him you grabbed the base of his dick, squeezing slightly while placing kitten licks all around his slit that was now leaking precum. 

“ ah y/n- oh shit,” you moaned around his dick as you lowered your mouth on him, pushing your panties to the side to push two fingers into your wet hole. when you kept moaning around his cock and jerking your hips, megumi finally realized what else you were doing and his whole body felt hot. you began to bob your head at the same pace you were fucking yourself with your fingers and the site was megumi on the brink of an orgasm. 

“you like that ‘gumi?” you asked after pulling you mouth off his dick with a soft ‘pop’, smiling at him as you continued to jerk him off. the nickname had megumi whining loudly despite him biting his lip hard enough to almost draw blood. 

“w-wanna feel you,” he spoke before thinking again, the rational part of him telling him he shouldn’t do this and he should actually stop this all now and apologize and then go home and never talk to you again. but god the way you smiled at him with those lust filled eyes had him thinking with his dick.

“yea baby?” you asked excitedly, pulling your fingers out of you before situating yourself back on his lap and pressing your now wet fingers against his lips. you didn’t have to say anything, megumi already opening his mouth, tongue lapping at your fingers before you pressed them against his tongue. when he looked at you through those pretty lashes you felt yourself clenching around nothing. 

megumi watched you with hungry eyes as you lifted your hips, grabbing his dick and pulling your panties to the side, lining it with your hole. you elicited a long moan from the both of you as you sank down on him. your breath growing ragged as you bottomed out. pressing your palms into his chest, you let your head hang while you got used to the feeling of him inside of you. 

“ ‘m gonna start moving,” you whispered, lifting your head to look at megumi as he nodded his head. you smashed your lips against his, effectively muffling both of your moans as you lifted your hips and pushed back down. 

your room was soon filled with the sounds of skin slapping against skin. both of you moaning and whimpering into each others mouths as you continued to fuck yourself on his dick.

“shit megumi-,” you whined as you pulled your lips away to catch your breath. he whined softly, a shaky hand sliding into your hair and gripping onto it. 

“y/n- y/n i love you,” he panted against your mouth, hips now jerking up into you as he his body chased his orgasm. 

“i love you too ‘gumi- love you so much- im- ah fuck- im close,” 

“me too,” he whispered, eyebrows pinching together as the knot in his stomach growing tighter with each snap of your hips. you snaked a hand between your bodies, fingers messily rubbing your clit as you got closer and closer to cuming. you mewled, resting your head on his shoulder as megumi let out a string of moans above you. 

with one whimpered warning from you, you came undone on his cock. your spasming cunt around him was what finished him off, quickly lifting you off of him as his cum spurted all over his shirt. your eyes were wide at his display of strength as you came down from your high, panting softly.

with a dramatic sigh you flopped onto the bed next to a spent megumi. you watched as he smiled up at the ceiling. 

“oh megumi you ruined my favorite shirt,” you pouted as you looked at the now cum stained shirt. you were totally just joking but the expression on megumi’s face as he turned his face to look at you was priceless. 

“y/n im so sorry-,”

“i was just kidding!” your laugh was undeniably contagious, making megumi laugh along with you until both of you couldn’t breath and your chests started to hurt. “you probably shouldn’t sleep in that though,” you said while wriggling your eyebrows. megumi rolled his eyes before sitting up to take off the shirt. seeing all of his torso was definitely something you were going to commit to memory. every scar, blemish, and mark now stored in their own little file folder in your mind. 

you watched silently as megumi went to grab his pants putting them on as he watched you slip back under the covers.

“you’re gonna sleep like that?” megumi spoke with a smile on his face, getting right under the covers next to you. 

“mm yea ‘m too comfy now,” you sighed, slinging your leg over his hips and resting your head on his chest. megumi hummed softly one arm wrapped around your waist while the other resting on your arm. 

“you havin fun,” megumi asked as you traced the edge of the gauze on his shoulder with your fingertips. laughing quietly, you nodded against his chest, placing a kiss right before the gauze. the room fell silent after that, nothing but the noise of your fan and breathing to be heard.

“megumi,” you whispered, not entirely sure if he was even awake. 

“yea?”

“i know you’re not ready to tell me now,” you started,  your face heating up slightly. “but i need you to know that i will patiently wait for you to tell me your stories,” this is what brought megumi back to reality. just now realizing what he’s done, what he’s currently doing. he was internally freaking out but didn’t want to alarm you. 

“thank you y/n,” was all he said, effectively ending the conversation as you let out a content sigh. he held you in his arms until you fell asleep, only then letting unconsiousness take ahold of him. 

he woke up with a jolt, heart racing while he laid in an unfamiliar bed. he was about to sit up when he felt a weight on his chest- oh. it was you. he was in your room. after sleeping with you, having told you he loved you multiple times, having gave you this false sense of security. god he was horrible.

he sat up slowly, looking down at your sleeping frame now clinging onto his legs. you looked so peaceful like this. so beautiful- angelic even. but then there was a buzz from his phone. pulling it out of his pocket, his frown deepened when he saw the notification saying he got assigned to another mission. this time to defeat a special grade.

in this moment he knew he couldn’t do this to you. couldn’t bring you into a world you never asked to be in. and so with a dejected sigh, he pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to keep himself from crying before he got up from the bed. 

he was quiet as he moved, making sure to not wake you up. mostly for his own sake, not wanting to see you in pain again. he was selfish that way, not wanting to be there to know he was the one who cause your suffering. 

he rounded to your side of the bed, leaning down and slipping a strand of hair out of your face to press a gentle kiss against your temple. he let his lips linger on your skin for longer than he probably should have. 

with one last look with teary eyes, he walked out, closing the door to your bedroom quietly.

when you woke up you instantly searched for the warmth of the boy you loved. the boy who had confessed his feelings for you multiple times. with your eyes still closed, you swiped your arm over the bed, frowning when you only felt your cold sheets. opening your eyes, you sat up looking towards the bathroom your frown only growing more prominent when you saw the door was open to the dark room. quickly shrugging on a shirt you walked out your room, hands shaking slightly as you called out his name. and to your utter dismay, you quickly realized the truth,

megumi was gone.

i hope you enjoyed !! reblogs/comments are very appreciated <3 ʟᴏʙʙʏ ﹕ꜰɪʟᴍᴏɢʀᴀᴘʜʏ 𝄃𝄃𝄂𝄀𝄁𝄃𝄂𝄂𝄃

[undomesticated-animal]

Honestly, body euphoria has done WONDERS for my ability to keep a physical self care routine, and I keep thinking back to Young Domi being so fucking OVERWHELMED by the thought of having to haul myself through the daily gauntlet of mirrors, lights, smells, self-shaming, and dysphoria inducing body modifictions made in a desperate bid to feel worthy of my skin. The idea that this could ever be anything but NEUTRAL AT BEST was laughable to me, so much so that I didn't even realize how terrified I felt by the possibility it could be real.

I can't go back and tell Past Domi all the things I understand now that I know would have mattered so much, but I can say them on the internet and maybe someone gets to learn them faster than I did.

Body euphoria isn't just for trans and intersex folks. And I mean this more than just "oh cis people should get gender ephoria too" (it's true!) because I also mean that the idea that body euphoria/dysphoria is neatly segmented up into little slices of life with no crossover is unrealistic and painful for everyone. Thinking that I was only allowed to care about my euphoria around gender actually made it REALLY hard to recognize I was having DYSphoria around my gender at all. After all, I avoided thinking about that in exactly the same ways I avoided thinking about the dysphoria around other aspects of my embodiment! I must just be bad at body positivity, "it's always easier to do for others than for myself 🤗 teehee" was a go to blow off for me when people asked me to confront how visibly uncomfortable I was in my body.

Because the thing is, it ISN'T easier to do for others than yourself. It really isn't. The part that's easier is avoiding the shame we feel about it. But once we confront the shame, loving your body is the easiest thing in the world. <- this is gonna be where Past Domi went "oh fuck this noise" and bounced but HEAR ME OUT

A body you cannot live with is a body you cannot care for, and a body you can't care for is a body you will almost always struggle to live with. This feedback loop is the CORNERSTONE of body dysphoria for a lot of people. It's a chicken and egg situation where it's nearly always going to be impossible to know what came first, but once either is present, the other will kick into gear to really hunker down in your psyche.

The feedback loop works the other direction too though. This is why people tell you to find the little things that make a tiny difference. They are (usually) not telling you that it'll be enough on its own, but every one of those you find uncovers new ones, and little by little you start feeling up to bigger pieces of self care because you've recovered enough to start putting int the front-loaded work for the worthwhile outcome

When that upwards feedback loop clicks? It's night and day. Like I genuinely don't know how to describe what it's like to just sort of.....wake up different. But it happens all the time, and it KEEPS happening. And you start to realize you're not "waking up different" you're just....getting to know yourself without feeling so uncomfortable with what you're learning that you shy away from yourself

I dunno man, I don't have a point here, but I've been processing old grief lately and the grief of how long I spent viciously hating myself and truly believing that's what neutrality feels like.....Little-Domi deserved better, and so do yall

[anomaliex]

Bad Kids (partially shameless projection) queer identity headcanons be upon ye

Notable that I think culturally literally anything that is not human has different ideas of gender than us. Some are very close to the point it hardly matters in a discussion like this (like elves and dwarves. It's mostly the same but I do think most elves are what humans consider to be feminine because they have a different idea of masculinity ((grace)). Or like, most dwarves seem masculine to humans for the simple reason that they all tend to have beards. Stuff like that.), but the further away you get from being hey pretty close to what a human is (like orcs or goblins) the further you stray from human understanding of how things work.

What if being intersex is way more common in a race of people, the concept of gender immediately becomes either way looser and less important or important with completely different values. Also I work under the assumption that whatever counts as "humanoids" (which is a very human-centric term but I like to think that's just because our POV is from a language that is inherently human) is a mammal and will generally have two sexes. But like, there's organisms with more or less than that, and in a fantasy world there's absolutely societies of intelligent species with similar characteristics. Imagine a weird hand wave, not relevant to this specific discussion as the bad kids are all human-shaped but it's something I find interesting. What would gender be like in that society if they had it at all? Living somewhere where that concept isn't really a thing (or at least not a thing in the way we understand it to be) sounds kinda awesome.

That said. Solace is a society mostly shaped by human standards and everyone who lives there somewhat conforms to them; and anyone who grows up there is probably socialised accordingly. Also Gorgug is adopted and doesn't seem all that connected to his roots and Riz is a third gen immigrant who doesn't get to see his extended family all that much. What I'm saying is everything I just said hardly matters in the context of the Bad Kids. Yeah. I just wanted to say it. I'm. I'm autistic. Thanks for reading my word vomit you're a real one for sticking through this far here's what I actually wanted to say.

Kristen. Obviously a lesbian. she/her and calls herself a woman but ultimately doesn't really. Care that much? About gender? And would not mind being referred to with masculine terms, it's more a matter of being afab so that's what she's going with.

Adaine I think has experimented with she/they pronouns. Often times she feels like her perception of life goes far beyond whatever societal constructs influence the present and she does not feel particularly attached to the idea of womanhood. I think she's aro spec but probably allosexual? Develops interest in all that a bit later than her friends and even then it's not. The same. She thinks guys are attractive, maybe girls sometimes, but doesn't actually feel inclined to do anything about that? Isn't looking to get into relationships or anything but yeah.

Riz is aroace because yeah. Personally I think oriented aroace because Baron being masc-ish does mean something to me, so he doesn't necessarily say it / find it relevant for other people to know but Riz personally IDs as gay + aroace. He does think some guys are attractive he's just sex repulsed lmao. I think he's the flavour of aroace where he'd happily engage in deep emotional bonds he just really doesn't understand what the fuck romantic feelings are supposed to be and how it'd be different than just loving his best friend(s) truly so much and is discomforted by the societal expectations and restrictions around the concept of "dating". ALSO about gender he's a he and its whatever. Does not care. Gender apathetic in the way Kristen is.

Gorgug isn't particularly attached to any labels, I think. He just likes who he likes, which is several people sometimes because he's also polyam. I think his lax view of his own inherent queerness has a lot to do with how open (and also inherently queer) his parents are. He just never really thought about it. Hit puberty and started thinking guys are hot and went okay this is not in any way special I'm way more worried about my favourite emo band breaking up rn. The only reason he ever came out to his friends was because he asked them for advice on how to bring up that he's polyam with Zelda (who I think was super cool with that and honestly from what we know that might be culturally normal to her), he does not consider it to be particularly noteworthy. Gorgug is similarly not particularly concerned about gender. I think he goes by any pronouns but also doesn't bring that up unless someone asks because he truly does not care or think it's a big deal.

Fabian's entire general person-ness feels queer to me idk. Bisexual and polyamorous. Probably aro-spec but he needs more time to figure that one out. Exclusively finds himself interested in women who are taller than him, this has nothing to do with being queer I just wanted to note that. He's the only one of the Bad Kids where I want to confidently say yeah this is a he/him man and he feels both comfortable in and connected to his masculinity. He ventures into gender nonconformity (starts with painting his nails, then make up, maybe a skirt when he's chilling at mordred manor) more and more as he gets older and more comfortable, I think, but that kind of only reaffirms to him that he's a man and loves being a man? Idk lol. Also for the record this is nonconformity in the context of Solace. For (high-)elven standards he's not like hypermasc dude bro but he's a pretty "manly" guy. Fallinel is like twink nation idk what to tell you. Now whether he's cis or not is a different question, while I personally think he is I do make a little mental cheer every time someone makes him trans.

Fig. They/she/it. She struggles with the disconnect she feels between her and the girl she thought she was a lot and it sucks, but eventually it does lead them to reexamine how they see themself and their identity and stuff. I think she eventually comes to the conclusion that yeah she has some attachment to femininity but ultimately exists in a space beyond the binary. Which is cool. Idk what label Fig would use, if any at all, but maybe something loose like genderqueer.

I know it's very commonly accepted that she's bisexual but like. Honestly. I think that was comphet. I think Fig is a lesbian who had some of the most horrendous comphet imaginable. None of their interest in those (concerningly) older men was genuine and it was all pretending to be someone else to get something and she isn't even sure why she wants that something that she can't quite place. And even though it longs so badly for the validation and confirmation that it's fitting into whatever role it is Fig is trying to emulate, she doesn't ever actually dare to get "serious". That's not actually what she wants. Uncomfortable and deeply concerning desperation for sexuality from a teenage girl who probably isn't a girl and certainly isn't actually interested in any of the men she's pursuing, and is so scared of just having to exist as herself deep down is such a real experience and if d20 wasn't a comedy show this could be the most visceral arc.

[acourtofthought]

how do you think elain could influence the politics in the spring court?

I think one of the most important lines to remember when it comes to Elain is "My sister Elain can convince anyone to do anything with a few smiles."

To me the location of the Spring Court makes the court itself a pretty huge deal. The Night Court borders Day so there's no real political unrest that exists between the two courts but Spring is something entirely different. One one side we have the human lands and on the other we have the Autumn Court (as well as Summer) and those two places are a HUGE deal when it comes to maintaining peace in their world and both places have been problematic at various points throughout the series.

I don't think that Autumn will be an an issue once Beron is gone but with the wall down between Spring and the human lands, there needs to be a new treaty established between human and fae because it's not something that has ever existed before. The humans spent years and years being afraid of the fae and I don't think there is anyone better suited to establishing that alliance than Elain. Not only because she was human once, but because she does not put off the same overly intimidating energy that some of the other fae leaders do. That's not to say she won't be powerful but she does still act in a human-like manner, she is warm and loving. She knows how to act with diplomacy and not steamroll.

I also think the people of Spring need someone like her to repair the damage that both Tamlin and Feyre did to the Spring Court. They've spent over a year being neglected by their leader and there's really no other character better suited to bring them back together, to help restore their faith in the place they call home and to make them feel seen. Cassian reminded us this about Elain in SF, how despite all the anger Nesta held onto, Elain saw who she was below the surface and I think that would translate beautifully to a group of people who have not been seen by anyone in quite a long time.

[shy-canadian-snowflake]

Not Sober Pt 2

“Hm. Morning baby.” Wade said softly, reaching out for Logan. Logan rolled over and faced the other, a frown on his face. It took a second for Wade to clue in. “Oh.”

“Oh? Oh is all you have to say? Wade, you got stoned last night.” Logan shook his head. “Your doctor told you- you know better. It can worsen your delusions.” 

“I’m not sorry.” The man stated, sitting up. Logan joined him and reached for his hand. Wade wanted to pull away but didn’t. Logan intertwined their fingers. 

“Talk Mouth. Explain to me so I can understand why the hell you’d put your mental health at risk. You’ve been doing so good.” Wade’s lips twitched up into a sad smile as he took Logan’s hand and pressed it into his cheek. He nuzzled into the warm palm and let out a long sigh. 

“I felt like I could control the chaos in my head. Sober me has been getting his fucking ass kicked. My brain is telling me I'm an awful human who only harms people, who only brings fucking suffering and sadness and despair. That there’s a ‘But’ when you say you are happy that I’m still alive.” 

“Darlin. I am happy you are here.” Wade shook his head slowly and pulled Logan’s hand into his lap. He pressed on different parts of his palm, massaging it out. 

“It still feels like there’s a ‘But’. But not really. But only when you are having a good day. But only when you are useful. It’s stupid.”

“It is fucking stupid because it’s not fucking true. I’ll love you bad day or good Bub.” Wake looked at him with a weak smile before going back to playing with his hand.

“Weed helps. I can see my own mental health in the maze that is my head. I can handle the world with all its fucking bullshit, I can understand the situation going on without feeling crippling panic. Everything is in neat tidy boxes that I can grab and organize and file everything away.” He gave a weak laugh, shaking his head. “ It might take me a few more minutes to do things or get the words out but I feel like a functional person who can work, who can do things. I feel like a normal person. I feel okay. I feel real.”

“You are real Wade.” 

“Yeah Well.” He turned Logan's hand over to trace the veins on the back of it. “I don’t fucking feel like it.”

There was a moment of silence as each man took a moment to collect their thoughts. Wade was the first to break the silence, like he always was.

“When I’m sober, I’m locked in a room of dark spaghetti and I can’t get out. I’m drowning in fear of what is going on in the world, the fact that we have a billionaire that’s getting a little too close to being a well known dictator with a horrible taste in mustaches. All of these noodles of despair and fear. Time does repeat and we don’t learn and the sun is going to blow up one day so is it even worth anything and I’m just so scared and I feel like I’ll never not be scared and- and Weed quiets all that. Weed brings me to the chaos I can control. I can consent too. My brain is making me think and feel things without my consent.”

“Okay.” Logan said slowly, throwing an arm around the other and pulling him close. Wade head butted him which he did so back, “What can I do to help?”

“Let me smoke weed without judgment.” 

“And what is your head saying to ya?” Wade hated that Logan always knew when he wasn’t all right. Sometimes it was great when he was questioning his own reality. Questioning if something is really there. It’s not so great when the voices in his ear are telling him things that make sense to him, but he knows won’t make sense to another living soul. It was like messages only for him to understand. Spoken in an old  language only he understood. 

“If I can break my ankle I’ll be in control of my chaos. My mind won’t control me today.” He sighed out, not bothering to fight. 

“That’s why you shouldn’t do weed, darlin. It’s telling you things that aren’t true.”

“They feel fucking true. Can I just die for a few hours and wake up with a better head?” 

“Al will be pissed if we got more blood and guts on this couch.” Wade flopped back onto the pull-out, sighing loudly. 

“I don’t want to fight Logan. I want my mind to be silent for one goddamn day.” There was a warble to his voice as he spoke. Logan laid down beside him, pulling him close- chest to back. He tucked his legs behind Wades, causing the man to curl up a bit more. His arm thrown over Wade’s chest made sure to keep his hand pressed into Wade’s heart, feeling the beating of it through the shirt he wore. 

“Do the meds. Do the meetings. Do what you got to. You will have a quiet day again Wade.”

“I doubt it.” 

“You will.” And Logan spoke with such certainty that Wade wanted to believe.

---

I'm having a real fucking hard time. My brain is saying to break my ankle. It makes sense too. If I do, the pain will override my brain and I won't have to be so fucking scared of everything. Future me- Don't smoke weed, it's not worth this fucking dark puddle.

[citizen-grantaire]

the only thing the tags are right about is that Enjolras and les amis de l'ABC, as a group, were republicans in the 1830s, almost 200 years ago.. the addition is slightly better.

This wasn’t meant to be a serious post, but I do think that in a modern au, Enjolras should be a communist to remain comparatively thematically and ideologically consistent with canon Enjolras and his stance toward society and the times he lived in, in today's world. + I stress that I’m specifically referring to Enjolras here, not all characters. (e.g. this blog is named after grantaire, whom I love so much as a character, but no way in hell he's a communist)

Communism is the doctrine of the conditions of the liberation of the proletariat [link to principles of communism by Engles] It is not just an economic system but also a sociopolitical framework that seeks, through the application of dialectical materialism and revolutionary action, to eventually achieve the abolition of private property, liberate people from all forms of oppression and exploitation, and establish a classless, moneyless stateless society after and through the implementation of a transitional period of socialism, during which the proletariat (or working class, for simplification) takes political power and works toward equity through what we call a dictatorship of the proletariat where the workers collectively seize and own the means of production and the socialist state works to serve their interests instead of that of the bourgeoise etc.. welcome to communism 101 (broad, simplified)

Authoritarianism/totalitarianism are just silly words really, you can define them however you like.. they just serve to make the current power structure seem "normal" instead of requiring constant enforcement, it's only called authoritarian when usamerica feel threatened. (surprise. it feels threatened by the mere existence of communists and does anything to literally kill them around the world.) anyway, I love communist authoritarianism yay

"the ability to pick your leaders" in a liberal democracy isn't real, I don't even think that we should have to explain this after the trump vs harris circus, they all serve the empire and are not different in any meaningful way. This type of democracy is an illusion, and not a well-made one.

Reform/public services within capitalism (the examples you mentioned), while good, is not enough and limited at best, especially in countries in the global north, and need to be implemented within a socialist system, otherwise you're treating some of the symptoms but not the disease.

Okay, back to Enjolras because this is getting long.. in the book, he was a radical republican in the 1830s and wanted to overthrow the monarchy, he had knowledge about the first republic like he witnessed it and ideologically followed the montagnard (robespierre, saint just.. the men of 1793), he symbolizes the revolution, believes in necessary political violence and his beliefs centers about workers and poor people despite being born rich.. etc which are all great positions from someone from 200 years ago, overthrowing monarchy and reestablishing the republic is revolutionary in france then.. so let's ask ourselves what is comparatively true to his revolutionary stances in today's world if he was born in the 21st century instead of the 19th? Sure some things have changed in the world. Of course, canon Enjolras is an idealist which is a fatal flaw but that's not the point right now (just like I'm ignoring dear Hugo's mess of politics)

If a modern au Enjolras isn't a communist then it's not a believable adaptation of the character to the modern world. You can argue for anarchism with him I guess but it'd be a strong argument..

What other 'form of government' is revolutionary and pursues the end of exploitation and oppression from the roots you're arguing for? Thinking of Enjolras as a liberal is laughable. Reactionary!Enjolras

But once again he's just a fictional character and it doesn't matter how you write him if you do, but happy to introduce you to the immortal science of Marxism-Leninism, I guess <3

A modern au Enjolras should be a communist btw. Non-negotiable.

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

one thing i'm really really fascinated by is the fact that everyone in the modern pokemon world seems to consider the deities a power source, nothing more. the games generally imply that knowledge of the legendaries has been lost to time and legend and only preserved by a select few who keep to the Ancient Ways but i don't really think that sounds likely. i think they might be common knowledge people just don't seem to. conceptualize them as greater than in the way that we generally think of them. "this is a divine force that underpins reality and has been worshipped since antiquity" is not a thing that seems to have any problem coexisting with "i'm going to put this thing in an engine and make it my tool." and it's very frequently the baddies doing this which maybe weakens the point a little but very rarely is the point of contention with the bad guys "hey you shouldn't do that to god" that's kind of like, never the part of their thing that people object to. it's always their motives, never their methods. when the Good Guy (local ten year old) catches god and makes it their new partner, nobody has a problem with it! and people joke about this but i'm saying it might imply a way deeper facet of society than people give it credit for.

and is this maybe trying to force the round peg of pokemon legendaries into the square hole of actual religion. very possibly! the games aside from pla certainly seem only very occasionally interested in treating these creatures as gods or godlike or worshipped in any way, and far more often just want to treat them as regular pokemon But Stronger. so it's maybe not reasonable to try and say these entities are deities. but the problem is they are! it's not like this isn't supported textually, it's just... not a part of canon that canon is actually interested in. dialga, palkia, the lake trio, kyogre, groudon—these things are gods. canon can mince words and call them legendaries and "worshipped as deities maybe sometimes" but when you get to the point where you're discussing something that represents a fundamental force governing reality and/or can end the world on a whim then idc what you call it. that's a god.

but the problem is that they are gods and also pokemon, they're both simultaneously. and people in the pokemon world seem to have worked this out, and have had the collective realization that the gods are truly not exempt from their own rules. they can be captured, they can be subjugated, they can be used. this also ties back in with the whole anarchism discussion obviously but it's just the fact that like. it goes way deeper than everyone being fine with the ten year old putting the lord of time in a ball. the entire world operates on the premise of "eat your gods."

does that like... contradict worship? can you be faithful to something knowing it's been used as a tool?

[seventh-district]

it's always something. PLEASE can i just go One single day without there being Something

[lord-squiggletits]

It's not that what you like in fiction = what you approve of IRL or that consuming media = a meaningful form of activism, but I do think that to an extent, the way people analyze and talk about media can be revealing about what their personal beliefs are. And tbh the way some people in fandom talk about certain social issues I pray that they're never in a position of social influence or power over other ppl bc yeesh

[acaciapines]

i need to talk about the dess raises kris au. or im gonna explode.

[omarwolaeth]

It's such a tiny innocuous thing that really doesn't matter, but I feel like calling duel monsters a children's card game (when it's fundamentally baked into everyday life, and your social existence is judged by what you play and how you play it so very intensely, for everyone in-universe) is an absolute injustice to what it is for that universe of people.

[chewwytwee]

Okay so i reallllly like mad men, but something that's been bothering my entire watchthrough is how nice they make it look to live in the 50s. It borders on revisionism with how kind and socially conscious all of the characters in the show are. When watching the sopranos you didn't really get the feeling that you wanted to be in the mob, not just because of the stakes but because the people and culture are bad. Tony Sopano literally chases a black kid out of his home because he hates the idea of his daughter dating a black guy, but the show set in the 50s and 60s is too afraid to touch any social issues besides a vague pro-feminist 'women can be just as good as men in their own way!'.

[robotsafari]

isnt it sad that the best world in dream drop distance is the fucking grid. (only in sora’s side though..)

[neferaskingdom]

♡ Max "If It Weren't For The Baby" Verstappen | MV1

NEFERASKINGDOM

Summary: Max and George show no signs of stopping anytime soon and poor y/n is stuck between a rock and a hard place. but soon things escalate when Max accidentally opens his big mouth.

PREVIOUS | MASTERLIST | NEXT

y/n_russell posted:

y/n_russell: Habibi come to Abu Dhabi✨

Comments:

user: SHE’S BACK, EVERYBODY STAY CALM!!! 🔥🔥🔥 user: MOTHER RETURNED TO THE GRID AND IT SHOWS. user: Abu Dhabi isn’t ready for her!! 😍 user: Not to be messy, but is that a bump or just the angle? 👀

user: Delete this before you embarrass yourself further. 🙄 user: You do realize that’s body-shaming, right? Yikes. user: Maybe it’s just the dress, maybe it’s none of our business. Either way—don’t. user: Imagine logging onto the internet just to get ratio’d in the comments. Couldn’t be me.

georgerussell63: Wow. 2 whole photo in front of Lewis’s garage? Feeling betrayed right now.

y/n_russell: omg george, do you want me to write "george is my favorite" on my forehead or something? relax. georgerussell63: I’m just saying, where’s the support? y/n_russell: maybe if your garage didn’t feel like the waiting room at a dentist’s office, I’d consider it. georgerussell63: That’s because we’re professional. y/n_russell: nah, it’s because you have the personality of unseasoned chicken. user: 💀💀💀 SHE CAME FOR HIS LIFE.

user: MAX. LIKED. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN.

user: Not Max creeping in the shadows like that. George, sweetie, you seeing this? user: Netflix doesn’t even need to make a script this season. The show’s writing itself.

landonorris: MOTHER.

y/n_russell: 🔪🔪🔪 user: The knives are out. Lando, RUN.

lewishamilton: Always great to have you around. Thanks for showing up and supporting me this weekend. Much love ❤️

y/n_russell: Wouldn’t miss it for the world, you know I’m rooting for you Lew! Big things ahead 💪🏽

f1teaspill posted:

f1teaspill: Okay, F1 fans, we’ve got a hot one for you! Max Verstappen and George Russell’s sister, Y/n, were spotted on a hotel balcony together, and it’s seriously got people talking. 👀 Y/n was supposed to be at a totally different hotel with George, so why is she with Max—especially with all the drama going down between them? 🤔

Is there something going on between these two? Or is Y/n just making it clear that she’s Team Max in this ongoing feud? You know we’ll be watching this one unfold closely... 🔥

Comments:

user: Yooo, what’s going on here?! Y/n is in Max’s hotel?? 😳

user: Is this a secret relationship or is Y/n just picking sides? I need answers!! 😬

user: So Y/n's team Max now? This is messy. 👀

user: Max and Y/n are lowkey dating and no one’s telling us?! I need the receipts ASAP. 😩🔥

user: Sis really out here with Max?? I can’t believe this. George is gonna flip. 😬

user: Okay, but like... is she betraying George by cozying up with Max right now? Or is she just done with the drama? 👀

user: Nah, this can’t be real. She’s out here looking all comfy with Max while George is literally her brother?? What kind of betrayal is this? 😱

user: Is this the kind of power move we’re witnessing?? Y/n dropping George for Max?? 🤯💥

user: Ok, but lowkey, I ship them so hard. Max and Y/n would make the hottest couple. 🔥🔥

user: No, fr. Max and Y/n are EVERYTHING. They look so good together, I’m lowkey obsessed. 😍👀 user: Can we just take a minute to appreciate how they’re literally radiating chemistry? I don’t care if they’re not dating—they should be. 😩💅

user: The way she’s just chilling with Max tho... George must be somewhere crying right now. 🤣💀

f1teaspill posted:

f1teaspill: “If it weren’t for the baby.” Three words that sent the paddock and the internet into absolute mayham today after Max Verstappen dropped the bomb during an interview. 👶💣

Fans are already in detective mode, dissecting every second of this wild moment. Whose baby? Is Max a secret dad? And what does George Russell have anything to do with it?

Interview Transcript:

Journalist: Max, earlier this week George Russell referred to you as a “bully” in his recent comments. Do you have any thoughts on that?

Max: (chuckles awkwardly) Well, you know, George always has something to say. I’m not going to get into it.

Journalist: But do you think his characterization of you is fair?

Max: (sighs) Look, I’m just here to race. I’m not interested in petty drama.

Journalist: It doesn’t seem like George is letting it go anytime soon. Are you planning to address it with him directly?

Max: (visibly annoyed) I really don’t see the point in—

Journalist: But isn’t it important to clear the air, especially since the tension is so public now?

Max: (snapping) If it weren’t for the baby, I wouldn’t even bother trying to make peace with him!

(A beat of stunned silence. Max’s eyes widen in realization.)

Journalist: The… baby? What baby? Max, can you clarify—

(Max mutters something under his breath and walks off, leaving the journalist baffled.)

Comments:

user: BABY???? HELLO? MAX, EXPLAIN YOURSELF.

user: What baby, Max?! WHOSE BABY?! I haven’t been this confused since Abu Dhabi 2021.

user: Can someone please check if Max even knows what he said? He looked so panicked when he walked off.

user: “If it weren’t for the baby”??? Sir, we’re not in Panem; calm down.

user: Peeta Verstappen has entered the chat. Someone hand him a loaf of bread. user: Peeta Mellark walked so Max Verstappen could run user: I just KNOW someone’s editing Max into a Peeta scene as we speak. Can’t wait.

user: Okay but what baby would involve George? George is childless?

user: Guys, hear me out: What if Max is secretly dating George’s sister? That’s the ONLY way a baby ties them together. user: Nah, there’s no way. George would’ve punched Max into next week already. user: Okay but think about it. Max. George’s sister. A baby. Uncle George. THIS IS LORE. user: I’m just saying, George’s sister has been looking very glow-y lately… 👀 user: Not a theory, just facts: Max is babytrapping George into a truce. 💀 user: Wait... isn’t George’s sister in Abu Dhabi right now?? 👀 user: omg and they were seen together on his hotel balcony jskjsk user: I’M SCREAMING. THIS THEORY IS TOO GOOD. user: Max... the man, the myth, the secret brother-in-law.

user: F1 fandom today: trying to figure out if Max has a secret family or if we’re all just collectively hallucinating.

user: Bro, if this is true, Netflix better dedicate a whole episode to Uncle George. user: “If it weren’t for the baby” is my villain origin story now.

user: GUYS. What if Max meant baby as in, like, his cat or something? We’re spiraling.

user: Okay but why would George care about Max’s cat?! Use your brain. user: Honestly, the only thing that makes sense is Max dating George’s sister. Uncle George confirmed. Case closed.

user: Y’all, the way I will actually SCREAM if Max and George’s sister are together. This is better than any race drama.

user: Max Verstappen?? A baby daddy?? In THIS economy??

user: Everyone’s fighting over the baby, but I’m just here wondering how Christian Horner is gonna spin this in interviews.

user: Plot twist: The baby is Christian Horner’s with Toto 😭

user: STOP. This is the most chaotic F1 season ever, and I love it.

Taglist: @ilovechickenwings @spooky-librarian-ghost @diaryofarandomkid @rd14 @hc-dutch @tremendousstarlighttragedy @grussellsprout @dannyespinosa06 @awritingtree @shelbyteller @diorbrxtz @96mcobo

[flwrkid14]

Tim and Danny: The Couple That Could Have Been

Tim Drake and Danny Fenton weren’t just Gotham’s it couple—they were the couple.

Tim, the poised and brilliant CEO, and Danny, the charismatic streamer with a chaotic streak, were the kind of pair that inspired faith in love. Their relationship was public but never performative. The candid photos, the impromptu livestreams where Danny would drag Tim into the frame to tease him about his “ridiculously expensive suits,” the way Tim would smile when he thought no one was looking—it all seemed so real, so untouchable.

For years, they were inseparable, the picture of what love should look like. And Gotham believed in them. People joked that they’d be together in every timeline, every universe, because how could they not be? They were made for each other.

So when Danny uploaded a new video one unassuming Tuesday, everyone thought they knew what was coming.

The engagement announcement.

Danny’s setup was different this time—gone were the familiar vibrant backgrounds and playful chaos. The walls were bare, his face somber, his voice quieter than anyone had ever heard.

“Tim and I…” He paused, swallowing hard. “We’ve decided to go our separate ways.”

What?

No, that couldn’t be right.

This was Tim and Danny. The couple everyone was convinced would make it through anything. The couple people joked would find each other in every timeline, every universe, because it was always them.

But Danny kept talking, his voice trembling as he explained—without really explaining—that they couldn’t make it work. No details, no messy drama, just a quiet goodbye that left everyone feeling like the air had been stolen from the room.

———

The Batfamily found out the same way everyone else did—through Danny’s video. They hadn’t even realized anything was wrong. The last time they saw Tim and Danny together, they’d been the same as always: teasing, bantering, comfortable in each other’s presence.

Bruce was the first to confront Tim about it, cornering him in the Manor with that familiar stern frown.

“Tim, what happened?”

Tim didn’t answer. He couldn’t.

Because he didn’t know either.

Danny had been the one to end it. One day they were fine—perfect, even—and the next, he was breaking up with Tim over coffee, quiet and somber, like he was grieving something Tim couldn’t see.

“I just… we can’t,” Danny had said, his voice trembling. “I’m sorry, Tim. I love you. I’ll always love you. But we can’t keep doing this.”

And that was it. No further explanation.

Now, Tim was left packing up his things from the apartment they’d shared, trying to piece together what went wrong. Danny was on the other side of the room, just as quiet, boxing up his own belongings. They didn’t speak. Couldn’t.

The space between them had never felt so vast.

“I love you,” Danny had said, his voice breaking. “I’ll always love you. But I can’t… we can’t keep doing this.”

And just like that, it was over.

And Danny? Danny knew exactly why.

———

Danny Fenton was a coward.

He’d gone to Clockwork for help after the first heartbreak, unable to bear the thought of living in a world without Tim Drake. He couldn’t undo the pain of losing Tim to the Justice League’s doomed mission, but he could relive the good years.

Clockwork had hesitated.

“This is dangerous, Daniel,” he warned, but Danny didn’t care. He didn’t want to forget Tim. He didn’t want to move on.

So Clockwork granted him his wish.

Again and again, Danny went back. Every time their relationship reached the point of no return—where Tim’s inevitable death loomed on the horizon—Danny would break up with him, retreat to Clockwork, and start over. He couldn’t bear to see Tim die, not again.

But the cycle wasn’t perfect. The cracks showed with each repetition. Danny’s breakups became harder to explain, his excuses more transparent. He could see the hurt in Tim’s eyes, the way his walls went up higher and higher with every iteration.

And still, Danny went back.

Because he couldn’t stop.

Because he couldn’t let go.

———

This time, though, it was different.

This time, as he packed his things, Danny felt the weight of what he’d done pressing down on him like never before. Tim wasn’t angry. He wasn’t even questioning it anymore.

He just looked tired.

And Danny hated himself for being the reason why.

The world moved on, but Gotham felt the loss of Tim and Danny like a phantom limb.

The bats watched Tim retreat further into himself, his work becoming his sole focus, an impenetrable wall between him and everyone else. They wanted answers, but Tim wouldn’t give them. And Danny? Danny disappeared from Gotham entirely, his absence leaving a wound that never seemed to heal. Maybe that’s why Tim would find himself on that mission, before Danny's loop restarted everything again—caught in the endless cycle of fate, unaware of how close he was to losing it all for good.

Clockwork didn’t say anything when Danny returned again, his face pale and his hands shaking. He just stared at Danny with quiet pity, his form shifting through time as if he were trying to decide what version of himself could make Danny stop.

“You can’t keep doing this, Daniel,” Clockwork said softly.

Danny didn’t answer.

Because he knew he’d be back.

Because he couldn’t stop.

Because he’d rather relive the heartbreak a thousand times than face another world where Tim Drake was gone for good.

[thebibliosphere]

I’m ill and miserable so I’m tinkering with my Pennyworth universe fics and giving myself emotions about Patricia Wayne, of all people.

Non-Pennyworth fans can scroll on if you want, but do we think, just for a moment, that Bruce might adopt his party boy persona a little bit from his Aunt Pat?

I do. I think he looked at his bottle blonde auntie with her giant sunglasses, ditzy demeanor, cigarette always in hand, rumored to have a coke spoon up her sleeve, and a different lover ever week and saw someone sad and hurting but also someone smart enough to put up the exact kind of facade that lets her maneuver through their world, this high society minefield of gossip, judgement and scrutiny, and force people to look the other way out of sheer mortified scandal.

“Did you hear what Patricia Wayne got up to last week?”

“No, tell me.”

She’s all anyone can talk about. This ditzy socialite heiress with her too blonde hair and her too short dresses. Too loud, too bold, too much.

But none of them really know her.

The real her—the auntie with the sad eyes and the biggest smile who used to show up out of nowhere and take him for ice cream in the middle of the school day much to Martha’s annoyance.

The auntie who used to stand behind his father and mimic his serious facial expressions just to make Bruce laugh.

The auntie who showed up to the school run one time looking like a Christmas tree, hair still in foils from the salon because Alfred got detained and when Tommy called to ask she left before the hairdresser had a chance to take them out.

His Auntie Pat who lets him ask questions about the sister he never met and who everyone else is too sad to talk about.

Patricia Wayne who appears at Wayne Manor the moment she heard about Tommy and Martha’s deaths, looking pale and gaunt, aged about a hundred years in the time it took to drive from New York to Gotham because while flying might have been quicker, driving let her scream and howl her grief out because Bruce is a quiet child who needs quiet words and Patricia has never been very good at that but for him she’ll do it. She’ll rip her vocal cords out to give him the quiet solace he needs if that’s what it takes.

Patricia Wayne who signs over full custody to Alfred Pennyworth the moment she can because she loves Bruce but knows herself well enough to know that she’d be a terrible co-parent but also because it makes her want to jump into Gotham harbor with stones in her pockets seeing Tommy looking up at her from behind his eyes.

Auntie Pat who dips in and out of his adolescence like a lightning strike, teaches him how to act and move and glide through the world his parents tolerated and Alfred only knows how to interact with from the sidelines.

Teaches him how to flirt and charm and smile, how to be a darling of the press while never giving anything away.

Auntie Pat who catches him hiding in his parents old bedroom at a party, looking at himself in Martha’s old mirror and listens to the heartbreak in his voice when he admits he can see Martha’s features fading in his face as his jaw squares out. Pat pierces his ear for him, holding a needle over a flame, so he can wear one of Martha’s earrings, Thomas’s cufflinks on his wrists.

Patricia Wayne who watches him start to bulk out. Sees the bruises and cuts that definitely don’t come from polo practice or whatever the fuck Bruce claims they’re from.

Patricia Wayne who looks Alfred dead in the eye when a caped crusader begins stalking the streets of Gotham and remarks loudly at a party that she has no idea where Bruce has got to, but if she had to guess, he’s been detained by a pretty face. You know how Tommy was at his age, the apple never falls far from the tree…

She’ll never ask, and Alfred will never tell, but she’s always got an alibi ready.

Bruce was with her the whole time, officers. Batman? Don’t be absurd. He’s a Wayne. What kind of family do you think they are? Why, you might as well accuse her dearly departed brother of being a secret agent for the government. His wife too while you’re at it. Honestly, the nerve…

Patricia Wayne who coos sweetly at eight year old Dick but tells him quite seriously if he ever calls her “Great Aunt Patricia” ever again she’s taking the toaster for a bath.

She hasn’t had this much work and Botox done for nothing, thank you very much.

I dunno man. I just want him to have someone in his life that when the Brucie Wayne persona jumps out the whole of upper Gotham goes, “oh, he got those Wayne genes. Oh okay. Carry on.”