#it's not about consistency it's about how it lives!!!

[43qh]

is this forever? (m)

quinn hughes x fem!reader

genre: fluff, smut

warnings: unprotected sex, soft and sweet!

word count: 2.4k

summary: love is so many different things.

love is a consumption.

you’re convinced it consumes you more than anything else. when you look at quinn, there’s nothing left in your body but love for him. when he has those distressed eyes, you make sure to clear them up. the crinkle in his forehead disappears around you.

when it came to offseason, quinn couldn’t keep his eyes and hands off of you. he was victim to the way you felt in his arms. he considered nothing more perfect.

with you below him, undressed, all for his taking. he couldn’t contain himself. your moans were a calling for him to keep going. each thrust making him sweat a little bit more. buried deep inside you like he was made for you. like you were made for him.

he whispers softly in your ear, “feels so much better than my hand.” he huffs when you clench around him. he wants to savor this moment. “you’re so tight, so warm.”

the sounds you make is music to his ears. it sounds like love to him. quinn was a love maker, you knew that all too well. there were times when he got a bit rough, no complaining on your end. but he was made for this kind of intimacy.

quinn was a lover.

quinn was your lover.

his thrusts were slow, deep. his breaths were uneven at the feeling of you wrapped around him. you could hear the occasional groan and whimper come from him when you clawed at his back a little harder, or when you wrapped your legs around his back to pull him closer. he can’t stop from falling to his elbows at the sensation, falling weak to you.

he groans in your ear, listening to your moans like they’re prayers. “close?” he was out of breath, unable to form a full sentence.

you nod, sweat collecting at the brim of your forehead, “yes, yes, quinn.”

quinn can’t stop his hips from picking up pace at the declaration. he lives for the way you moan his name, the tightening in his chest driving him crazy.

when you cum around his cock, it feels like a chain reaction. he can’t stop the way he cums with you, the way he fills you up to the brim with belated breaths.

the air felt hot and heavy as the both of you calm down, hearts beating in sync like the two of you were one person.

“i love you.” he looks over at you, tilting his head and kissing your cheek.

you hum, “i love you, quinn.”

he kisses your shoulder, “let’s clean up.”

love is time consuming.

not in a bad way.

your thoughts sway back and forth to quinn in everything you do. you make coffee, and the way he likes his coffee comes forth. when he’s gone, you think of how warm he feels laying next to you. you iron his clothes and think about how he looks inside them.

when you hear your phone ring, you know it’s quinn. no one else calls you so consistently the way he does.

“beautiful,” he greets, his voice a little rugged.

“handsome,” you greet back, a smile on your face. you clutch your phone a little tighter in anticipation as he continues on about his day and what he had accomplished. it was routinely when he wasn’t home. it was enough for you.

you could see the furrow in his brows in your mind. the way his lips looked when he talked. the way he would lick them in between sentences. the way he would try to stretch his back.

maybe you knew his habits all too well.

“i can’t wait to come home.” he huffs, and you hear him laying back on a bed.

you sit on the living room couch of your shared house, “i can’t wait either.”

you knew quinn was smiling, “i love you, gorgeous.” his voice grew softer.

you closed your eyes and just listened, “i love you too, quinny.”

he grunts at the nickname, but says nothing about it. there’s a long pause between the two of you. as if you were both just enjoying the company of one another, even if it was over the phone.

you open your eyes and look at the time, realizing just how late it must be for him. “you should sleep.”

quinn huffs, “miss you.”

you smile and bite your lip, “i miss you, too. but i’ll be here tomorrow.”

quinn can’t stop the smile that droops on his sleepy features, “promise?”

“promise.”

“goodnight then, angel.” he yawns.

you smile again, “goodnight, quinn.”

the hang up feels dreadful, but your mind is consumed with the way he talked to you for the rest of the night.

his voice, the way you imagined him sprawled on the bed, his soft words.

quinn will always be on your mind. time and time again.

love is beautiful.

quinn wasn’t the type for slow dancing. but when it was just the two of you, dancing alone to the faint sound of a love song, he couldn’t help the way his heart swelled from the feeling of you in his arms.

love songs reminded him of you. you looked so graceful, a small smile playing on your face as you look at him. he feels the way your hands clasp tighter around his neck, and he smiles back.

his hands rest lovingly along your waist, swaying the two of you back and forth and around the room. quinn wouldn’t do this for anyone else. you had him in your grip tighter than you thought.

“you’re a good dancer,” you state, tilting your head in curiosity.

he loves the way your eyes shine under the faint light of the lamp in the room, “you’re better.”

quinn spins you around before pulling you flush against him. your chest pressed against his, breaths labored as he stops for a second to admire you.

you’re both in pajamas, and you want to think about how ridiculous this must look, but you honestly didn’t care. the way quinn was looking at you felt like you were the most beautiful woman on earth. and he believed that.

“you’re so beautiful,” he whispers, starting to sway again, but never loosening his hold on you.

you lick your lips, eyes curious and wide, “so are you.”

quinn grins at the side of his mouth, noticing how nervous you were from the close contact. he loved how he could still bring out these kinds of reactions from you, even after being together for almost two years. he would be lying to himself if you didn’t make him react the same way. he can feel the shivers down his spine when you run your fingers through his hair in a soft, loving way.

quinn can’t stop himself from kissing you. his lips move in a languid way that makes your skin light up in a blaze. you almost feel hot, his fingers grasping at your waist with more fervor.

he loves the way you moan in his mouth, the sound vibrating through his body and making him deepen the kiss. he couldn’t resist you even if he tried.

at this point, the dancing has come to a full halt. the two of you more focused on feeling one another. you tug on his hair a bit, making him groan and pull away with wet lips.

“couldn’t resist you,” he gasps, looking at you with a goofy smile.

you giggle softly, and quinn can feel the way his heart picks up at the sound, “i couldn’t either.”

quinn could live this way forever.

love is patience.

quinn huffs as he slowly slides inside of you. and you lick your lips, looking up at him with a gorgeous glint in your eyes. it would be so romantic if only he didn’t want to completely ruin you. make a mess of your makeup.

you look at him with deer eyes, bright and wide. he lets out a small groan, eyes turning lidded at the sight of you as he bottoms out inside you. he patiently waits for you to adjust, basking in your glory. watching the way sweat starts to form on your forehead. he smiles to himself at the way he can get you so worked up with such little effort. you were truly made for him.

“tell me to move,” he says it in more of a question than a statement. you nod your head, signaling for him to move. he can’t help himself from pulling back to where only the tip of his cock sits inside you, before slamming back into you. the gasp that leaves your lips is worth it.

he sighs, leaning down to press his lips against your shoulder, earning a whine as a prize. he can hear you perfectly in this angle. your moans and gasps going straight into his ear. he closes his eyes in a flurry of bliss. the way you tighten around him as he slowly rocks his hips against your own makes him go almost mad.

he can’t stop the way his hips pick up in pace. he wants to make this last, he wants to listen to you beg for more. his prayers are answered as you whine, “quinn, please, more.” your breaths are shaky and sharp.

quinn licks his own lips, smirking to himself. “wanna make this last, baby.”

you writhe below him, making him groan as he feels the way you tighten up and take him in more. he places a hand on your hip, pushing you back down and tsking at you.

“where’s my good girl, huh?” quinn chastises, making your whines louder and louder. he soaks it in, before finally giving you what you want. he figures you’ve been patient enough. plus he was starting to lose his own patience.

he thrusts into you with feverish pace, making goosebumps form on your skin. “oh, god.”

he smiles, leaning back to look down at you and the way your eyes roll into the back of your head like you’ve seen god. he loves the way you gasp his name, telling him how good he feels. his cock twitches when you tighten up around him even more. his pace is turning brutal and he can no longer help himself.

“atta girl,” he whispers, “take it like a good girl.”

that was your undoing. you couldn’t help it. his voice was a mixture of loving and raspy. it made your inside tingle and your pussy clench around him. your back rises up to his chest as he finishes alongside you, his cum seeping inside you. you gasp one last time, out of breath.

“fuck,” quinn groans.

you smile, hands grabbing his shoulders and pulling him down for a kiss. “so good.”

quinn smiles in the kiss.

the patience is always worth it.

love is forgiving.

“i told you, quinn. it’s okay.” you look at him with soft eyes. quinn pouts at you.

“you said you wanted to go out to dinner tonight.” he sighs, sitting on the edge of the bed.

you shake your head with a smile on your lips, “no, no. i just want to be with you.”

you and quinn had reservations but an emergency came along and he didn’t make it home in time. he was so frustrated with himself, he felt a heavy weight in his chest. that was until you came along and eased his worries.

“i promise, quinn. there are so many more dinners left in our lifetime.” you sit beside him and kiss his cheek. he looks at you with apologetic eyes before kissing you slowly and softly on the lips.

“i don’t deserve you.” he whispers against your lips before kissing you again, raising a hand to your face to pull you closer.

you smile and pull away, looking into his eyes with a sparkle, “other way around, my love.”

he shakes his head, his hair shaking with him. “hush.”

he kisses your lips again, apologies lying within them.

he could never understand how accepting and loving you always were. and little did he know, you thought the same way he did.

love is forever.

quinn rubs his sweaty hands on his pants. he feels the heavy weight of the ring in his pocket. he’s waiting for you to come home. he doesn’t want to waste time the second you walk through the door, but he knows it’s best to wait for good things to come along.

he smiles and kisses you, embracing you in a hug. you exchange the hug, hanging your purse beforehand. you smile at him, nothing out of the ordinary for you.

you look into his eyes and see the most beautiful eyes you’ve ever seen. he looks and sees the same.

you look around and notice that dinner is already prepared for the two of you. you raise and eyebrow, “hm? dinner?”

quinn nods, licking his lips in anticipation, “yeah, thought i’d spoil you.”

you smile and kiss his cheek, “thank you, sweetie.”

he bites back a smile, but you can see it nonetheless. you walk to the table, looking at the array of food. “wow, this must have taken-”

you’re cut off when you turn around to a quinn hughes with one knee on the floor. you gasp, hand raising to your mouth. it felt like something out of a movie. your eyes were welling up with tears.

“my sweet, gorgeous girlfriend,” he starts, “this might sound so cliché, but the moment my eyes laid on your own, i knew you were going to be the one for me. i adored you the second we spoke, and fell in love the first time we kissed. i have many flaws. and i want to be able to share my future with you for the rest of our lives.” he opens the ring box, “will you marry me? make me the happiest man to ever live?”

you just nod, holding out your ring finger as you cry happy tears. you want to respond to everything he has said, but the most you can do is raise him to his feet as fast as possible and kiss him. the ring looks absolutely beautiful on you, shining under the light of the dining room lights.

“yes,” you whisper between kisses, “of course yes, quinn.”

quinn is the luckiest man alive.

quinn is ready for forever. and so are you.

a/n: so sorry for the long wait. and i’m sorry if it doesn’t live up to the anticipation. love you!

[oatmealaddiction]

Can we talk a little about how hard popular opinion turned on LMM without him really even doing anything? By all accounts he seems like a really sincere artist, who I feel like at this point the worst thing you could accuse him of is just being misguided sometimes. I think it's kinda nice that he really believed in such a goofy concept like "Hamilton" and took it seriously and didn't blink. It's interesting that we talk about Hamilton more for its historical accuracy and its political themes, vs. it just being a big joke that we all mock, and that's because LMM took the project seriously. The guy's got a real talent for bi-lingual writing as well, as he did the lyrics for the 2011 West Side Story where all of the Shark's lines were translated into Spanish, and his work on Moana is actually really cool in how he manages to have a song in both Tokelauan and English while maintaining a consistent melody, that's actually a lot easier said than done.

And yet everyone makes fun of his singing voice, or calls him cringe, or likes to pontificate that because he's a rich theater kid he has no actual experience with discrimination or that he's some kind of mega lib? Like he didn't get all kinds of racist push-back when Hamilton first debuted. He's making bad Disney music right now, and it's like, has anyone at Disney been making good art in the last three or four years? We've already had the song-writers on Wish essentially say they were given two weeks to do all of the music, without being told any context of what the story was going to be about. While LMM had to essentially go rogue to get the music in Encanto the way he wanted it. I'm not surprised the song for "Scuttle the Seagull" in the Live Action Little Mermaid was garbage and I'd be shocked if you could find one musician on Broadway who could make that work. Like IDK, it's weird that this by all accounts this nice guy who's made a lot of music that everybody liked, is essentially just a punchline at this point.

Lin-Manuel Miranda is not untalented but he shouldn't be making billion dollar disney movies or whatever. This guy should be in a garage making deeply earnest but unpolished rap opera concept albums and posting them online for a niche fanbase of no more than 100,000 too-online theatre nerds. Hiring him to make forgettable paint-by-numbers radio friendly disney princess pop is trying to raise devil's pupfish in captivity. You have to stop giving him money and let him go make cringe in his natural habitat or you're never going to get anything good.

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Writing a "Toxic" Character

Toxic Behavior - any kind of behavior that results in unpleasantness for those around you.

This can range from accidentally telling a joke that hurts someone’s feelings to alienating close friends and family through consistently negative and cruel behavior.

In other words, toxic behavior is whatever someone does to bring negativity upon themselves and others.

Everyone can be difficult on occasion, but you want to avoid allowing occasional, accidental toxic behaviors to become a long-term feature of your personality.

It’s one thing to make a selfish decision and meaningfully apologize afterward, but it’s another when it becomes a defining trait.

Even the most toxic people can improve their behavior patterns, so long as they make an earnest effort to understand themselves and become more compassionate.

Even though it might take a lot of self-compassion, patience from friends and family, and a resolute commitment to becoming kinder, it’s well worth it for everyone in the long run.

Prominent Toxic Behavior Traits

Toxicity manifests in numerous ways. If you’re worried you might be consistently exhibiting toxic traits, ask yourself if someone would describe you as having any one of these 5 qualities:

Critical: When people behave in a toxic way, they often blame others for all their problems. Rather than accepting any responsibility for their unhappiness or aggression, they convince themselves they behave this way solely because of the kind of people around them. Ask yourself if you’re quicker to criticize others than to self-reflect.

Manipulative: Controlling behavior, gaslighting, and other forms of manipulation are some of the key signs of a toxic person. Perhaps you try to passive-aggressively get coworkers to do your job for you or try to make family members feel guilty so they’ll do you favors. If you manipulate other people, knowingly or unknowingly, you’re exhibiting a key toxic trait.

Narcissistic: Certain toxic people only look out for themselves. As narcissists, they view their own lives as above anyone else’s. While everyone can veer into self-interest from time to time, this sort of constant self-involvement is a sure sign of toxicity. Think about the last time you put someone else’s needs above your own—if you have a hard time remembering when that was, it might be time for some further self-evaluation and improvement.

Negativity: Toxic people are often negative people. They feel the need to nitpick and criticize the minutiae of their lives, berating friend and foe alike for making things more difficult than they need to be. No one can feel happy all the time, and negativity can balance out positivity on occasion—but if you constantly dwell on things that make you sad or angry, you could be embodying toxic behavior.

Unapologetic: When toxic people lash out at their loved ones, they’re unlikely to ever apologize or see what they’ve done as wrong. This might be because their self-worth is bound up in thinking they must be right at all times and at all costs. Ask yourself whether you ever feel comfortable being wrong. If the answer is no, this might be a toxic trait worth improving.

Tips for How to Not Be Toxic

Devoting yourself to positivity rather than toxicity can prove a boon for both you and all your loved ones. Learn how to stop being toxic with these 7 steps:

Apologize when necessary. Everyone exhibits bad behavior from time to time. Apologize when you act out of line so you can get back to spending time creating positive memories with friends and family.

Assess yourself regularly. Toxic traits often emanate from low self-esteem and unaddressed trauma. Work on bettering your mental health and wellness. Journal out your thoughts to improve your sense of self-awareness.

Be open to feedback. Free and open communication is one key hallmark of healthy relationships. Listen more than you speak. Ask people what you can do so you both can have a good relationship with each other.

Deal with past trauma. There’s an old saying: “Hurt people hurt people.” In other words, people who’ve gone through hard times and are in a painful situation are likely to create hard times and painful situations for others. Seek out help to deal with these very real wounds. No one deserves to suffer, and the sooner you heal, the sooner you can help others heal, too.

Practice mindfulness. Very few people actively set out to be a toxic person, they just fall into toxic habits. Practicing mindfulness meditation gives you the tool kit to break up negative thought patterns and assess why you might behave in a toxic way.

Respect boundaries. Individual toxicity often leads to toxic relationships with others characterized by codependency. Respect people when they set boundaries with you, then pay attention to whether you’re crossing them.

Seek opportunities for compassion. Rather than looking for opportunities to criticize, seek out the ability to be compassionate. Give yourself grace as a form of self-care—remind yourself you’re not a bad person, just someone trying to get through the difficulties of life like anyone else. Forgive others who frustrate or wrong you. Focus on spreading a sense of well-being and you’ll be well on your way to ensuring each day is a positive rather than toxic one.

Source ⚜ More: Notes & References ⚜ Writing Resources PDFs

[slxtarchive]

𝐒𝐋𝐔𝐑𝐏𝐄𝐄 𝐑𝐔𝐍 ꩜ 𝐁𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐄 𝐄𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐇

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬. you and your best friend billie had your monthly sleepover consisting of a movie night and slurpees… she might’ve slurped sum else too.

𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭. no but inspired by a request i got for madz

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭. SMUT ! oral f!receiving, fingering, scissoring, talks of finding yourself kinda, confusing and conflicting feels, basically relatable content [ especially for me ] a little deep on this one.

𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬. the synopsis i cannot — anyway, this was inspired by a madz request i got! tried making a divider, i got the inspiration from pinterest

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭. 3.6k.

“so i’m thinking like three different chips, maybe two candies and… slurpees?” billie smiled excitedly. “we have to go all out since we didn’t have a sleepover last month!! c’mon, ill pay.” she moved forward super close to you practically touching your nose.

you rolled your eyes moving forward as your foreheads touched narrowing your eyes. “okay.” you said, quietly laughing with a grin on your face.

you and billie have always been super close. you spent practically every day together and if it weren’t for your parents you’d have a sleepover every week.

most people at school thought you two were a bit too close but you both never gave your friendship a second thought, well, you didn’t give your friendship a second thought. billie though, growing up she found herself thinking about you as more than just a friend but she pushed that thought to the back of her mind with fear of messing with your friendship — which she would never put in jeopardy.

you grabbed your snacks and slushees deciding which ones to get. billie insisted you picked them all out before you headed back to her house.

this time you both were in the living room because her parents were out of town. so, you both set it up a little more dramatically than you usually would in her room. you brought the couch cushions together to make a makeshift bed with a bunch of fluffy blankets. then, billie brought out a bowl and platter for your chips and a spot to set down your slushees.

after a few minutes of setting everything up, you finally sat down and began to decide on a movie. “what are we feeling?” she questioned, scrolling through netflix.

you looked at the rows of movies showing up on the screen before something caught your eye. “fear street…” you read. “it’s horror, and — oo it’s a trilogy! fear street 1994, 1978, and 1666.” you looked toward her excitedly.

she pressed her lips together trying to stifle a laugh. “so i’m guessing your choice is that one?" she hovered over the movie.

you nodded, "yeah we can watch all three. movie marathon!" you sang out.

she obliged putting on the first movie of the trilogy. throughout the movie it was good, you both commented on how crazy the storyline was and how cute the main characters were until one particular scene came about.

you sat on the couch legs crisscrossed practically mesmerized by the scene before you. you became overly aware of billie’s shoulder next to yours, the room heating up around you.

the scene was short but it still clouded your mind for the rest of the movie — your thoughts running a mile a minute.

by the time the second movie was wrapping up, you felt the energy in the room shift. the air felt charged somehow — heavy — with something unspoken.

the third movie started, bringing its scene to the start of the storyline all the way back in 1666. two girls who both had a secret attraction to each other but couldn’t act on it because of the views of their village.

you felt for the girls, in a way that you didn’t know you could feel. the scenes continued and as more scenes passed — the more the story made sense. every scene was important but there was one particular scene that stuck with you even more.

your fingers toyed with the edge of the blanket that covered your and billie’s legs as the scene unfolded. the two girls had gone out into the empty woods together after a fight had broken out. you didn’t pay much attention to the dialogue of the interaction — you paid more to the energy shift between them.

you eyes were fixed on the screen as the two girls, deena and sam, shared an emotional and deeply tender moment.

your breathing hitched and your chest tightened, a strange warmth spreading through you that you couldn’t explain. you had seen many romantic scenes before — but this one felt… different. it felt so real. it felt like something you couldn’t tear your eyes away from.

what pulled your eyes away from the screen was when you moved your gaze over to billie, whose face was lit by the glow of the tv screen. her expression was unreadable, her lips slightly parted, her focus locked on the screen. you quickly turned your head back moving your eyes away from her, your cheeks flushed.

by the time the movie ended, you couldn’t sit still. your mind was racing and your body was tense. the silence between you both was deafening, interrupted by the ending credits song starting.

billie finally broke the quiet. “that was so good! holy shit.” she smiled, before looking at you.

you cleared your throat a bit trying to shake the thoughts from your brain. “yeah.” you whispered, your voice not sounding too convincing.

billie noticed the shift in your energy quicker than anything. she moved her posture to face you before speaking up. “you okay? you’ve been quiet since—” she stopped herself, before softening her gaze. “since that scene.”

you stiffened, your fingers twisting the blanket with anxiousness. “i’m fine.”

she tilted her head, unconvinced. “yn.” she knew you better than anyone in the world including your parents and yourself.

you sighed, knowing exactly what she was thinking. your chest rose and fell unevenly. “it’s stupid.” you mumbled, bringing your knees up to your chest.

“it’s not stupid if it’s bothering you yn.” billie’s eyebrows furrowed.

you hesitated, your throat feeling dry. “it’s just… that scene. it made me feel… weird? i… don’t know why. it’s like… it hit me in a way i wasn’t expecting, and now i can’t stop thinking about it.”

billie stayed quiet in response to your confession. her eyes scanned your face searching for some kind of telling.

you noticed the longing stare she gave you. “it’s not just the scene…” you whispered, your heart twisting and churning. “it’s you..” you confessed in realization. “sitting here with you i—” you stopped yourself, not wanting to say things you might not know the truth of.

you shook your head trying to take a deep breath to calm yourself down. you swallowed harshly, “i don’t know what’s happening to me, bils.” you admitted.

billie’s heart pounded as the air surrounding her became thick. she found the courage to reach her hand out toward you, brushing your hand. “you’re not alone.” she said softly.

you looked up, your eyes searching hers. “what do you mean?”

billie took in a shaky deep breath. “i… i felt it too — during that scene.” she bit her lip nervously. “and i have felt it before, with you.” she looked you into your eyes.

your heart practically stopped right then and there. you wanted to speak but you felt like all the words you thought of and wanted to say, that they couldn’t make their way out of your mouth.

billie spoke up, noticing the trouble you had been having. “i would’ve said something but i’ve just been too scared to say anything because i don’t know if you’d… if you’d feel the same.”

your breathing hitched, your pulse roared in your ears. “you’ve felt… felt it?”

billie nodded avoiding eye contact with you, “yeah. and it’s confusing and scary, and it feels like my chest is about to explode every time i try n think about it. but…” she stuttered her hand running through her hair, “but it also feels good. like it just — just makes sense.” she finally looked up to look into your eyes.

the space between you both felt smaller now, the air filling with tension. your gaze flicked to billie’s lips, then back to her eyes. “i don’t know what to do with this feeling…” you whispered with a conflicting feeling.

her hand moved to cup your cheek, her thumb softly brushing against it — the touch sending electricity through your veins. “we don’t have to know. not right now, okay? we can just… feel.”

you leaned into her touch instinctively, your heart pounding so loudly you were sure she could hear it. slowly, billie found her forehead pressing against yours, your breaths mingling in the quiet.

the moment hung there, suspended, until you tilted your head, your lips brushing against hers. the kiss was soft, tentative, their movements slow as you both felt your way through this unfamiliar territory.

billie’s hand slid to the back of your neck, her fingers tangling their way through your hair. your hand gripped the blanket over them before hesitantly moving to rest on her waist, pulling her closer.

you felt the kiss deepen, not rushed but full of quiet intensity, a mixture of nervousness and something unspoken that somehow had always been there, waiting to rise up to the surface.

when you both pulled away, you stayed close to each other — your noses brushing together and breaths shaky.

“is this okay?” billie whispered up against your lips.

you nodded, your fingers brushing against her side. “yeah, it’s… it’s more than okay.” you licked your bottom lip moving closer.

she nodded, building up the courage to kiss you once more but stood there admiring the way you looked angelic in the tv glow.

your eyes moved all over her face before you made the move to kiss her. your lips molded with each other softly and passionately with more need this time.

you liked it. the feeling of her lips on yours. your skin touching hers. it felt so good — so right. you could taste the faint flavor of cherry from the slurpee on her tongue as the kiss became more hungry. she slipped her tongue into your mouth again before she pushed you onto your back. she then straddled you still never letting your lips disconnect.

you felt hot and needy in between your legs and felt the same thing between hers. the small gasps that came from your mouth showed billie that you enjoyed what was happening but she still wanted to your thoughts on what she wanted to do next.

her hands moved from your face all the way down to your chest then your lower stomach. “we’re just feeling right?” she gulped, out of breath.

you didn’t register what she meant but responded with a slow nod. “mmm — yeah? yeah… we are.”

she took another deep slow breath before moving down your lap and moving her hands to the waistband of your shorts. “and if you like… what i’m doing — i could keep going. if you don’t, i could stop.” you still didn’t get what was going on until she trailed her fingers inside a bit, beneath your underwear as well.

you took a deep breath leaning back on your elbows trying to calm down. your mind immediately went to the movie scene, the way you felt — the way it made your body feel. you felt needy for that in the moment. the way you felt all uncomfortable but a good uncomfortable, as if there was an itch you wanted to scratch. that’s exactly how you felt right now with billie making a move toward that kind of thing.

just to be sure you wanted to ask. “stop… stop what exactly?” you questioned, still looking down at her.

she smiled softly before tugging down your shorts a bit. “just… stop me from tasting you.” she still pulled down your shorts slowly looking up at you waiting for your response.

the only response you had, had to do with your body. the fact that you nodded while wanting to clench your thighs and soothe that feeling down there showed you that this is what you wanted. your only worry would be that this would change everything, something you didn’t want to happen but at this point — you couldn’t stop yourself.

she pulled your shorts down before taking them fully off leaving you in your underwear. she noticed the damp spot in between your legs. “you’re sure?” she asked, her tongue touching her lower lip.

your chest moved up and down as you tried to build the courage. you let out a breath, “yeah, i’m… i’m sure.”

she nodded before moving to take off your underwear. she tugged them down the same she did with the shorts and tossed them to the side giving you a full view of your pussy. you felt exposed and quite nervous so you closed your thighs. she giggled shortly, bringing her hands up to keep them from closing. “it’s okay..” she whispered through the low light.

she moved your legs away from each other so she could see you again and moved her head down. your heart felt like it was about to beat out of your chest when you felt her give one lick. your body reacted instantly as your back arched slightly and your breathing stopped abruptly. she looked up at you before taking another lick — the eye contact doing something insane to you.

she slowly got more comfortable with it starting to suck softly on your clit. your hand found its way to her hair tugging on it and trying to pull her closer. “fuck—” you moaned as her tongue dipped into your entrance then brought your slick up to your clit.

she sucked and moved her tongue around picking up her pace before speaking up. “tell me if… if it feels good. tell me what feels good. wanna make you feel good.” she blabbered taking your clit again into your mouth and sucking on it harshly.

“that — that feels really fucking good. i’m… oh fuck bils.” you moved the hair out of her face again to see her actions on your clit. “yeah, jus’ like that…” you moaned throwing your head back.

she nodded against your pussy harshly pushing her tongue on you. the mix of her saliva and your arousal adding to the squelching wet sounds.

she brought her fingers up to slowly inch inside you providing more feeling and pleasure. she hummed against your clit as her fingers thrust inside of you. you couldn’t help but move your hips up to meet her tongue, practically trying to ride her. your eyes clenched shut, “fuck billie… i feel so — oh fuck..” you couldn’t get your words out.

billie felt you getting closer and closer wanting to bring you to that state of ecstasy. she licked, sucked, and slurped everything up before letting it fall onto your clit and doing it all over again until you came undone on her tongue.

you tried to catch your breath as billie brought her face away from you and up to face you, her hand wiping your slick from her chin. she licked her lips, “so… did you— did you like that?” she asked, shy and nervous.

your eyes were filled with lust as you responded. “mhm — i… i loved it.” you nodded before getting on your knees in front of her and taking her hands in yours. “let me make you feel good too?” you looked at her lips before leaning forward and capturing them in a kiss.

she whimpered against your lips as she felt your hands touch her waist. billie couldn’t wait for you to take off her clothes so she did it for you, removing both her shorts and underwear leaving you both bottomless. “i… can we try something?”

you were practically hypnotized by her so you nodded eager to hear what she had to say.

she sat back against the couch armrest with her legs wide open. she touched herself a little bringing the arousal from her entrance to her clit. “want you to… rub yourself on me, please.” you gulped, trying to figure out how exactly she wanted you to do it. “you just—” she started sitting up and pulling you closer. “put this leg over mine and rub yourself onto me.” she tapped your right leg. “do you want me to show you first?”

you nodded pressing your lips together not wanting to do anything wrong. she obliged your request pushing you back onto you laying flat on the couch. your head wasn’t elevated or anything so it was hard to see what she was doing but you felt her lift your right leg up and push it back against your chest, then she made her way on top of you. before you knew it, she placed her own pussy on yours.

she fixed herself so she was right on top of you then started moving slowly. your mouth fell open at this new sensation. you looked up to find billie already staring at you. “how does it feel?”

you poked your tongue. “it feels really good.” your head moved back as your eyes fluttered shut. you felt so hot and sweaty, you wondered if it’d be okay to take off your shirt. you felt your adrenaline take over so you decided to do it anyway. you took it off and tossed it off the couch before unclasping your bra and doing the same with it as well leaving you topless.

billie’s moved her hips faster and harsher upon seeing you feel more comfortable with her. she decided to avoid making you feel alone she took off her own shirt and bra leaving her in her bare skin. your hands rested on her hips trying to push her to move faster. “please, faster bils. feels so good..” you whined softly.

billie nodded. “c’mon, you try.” she said lying down on her back. you felt that feeling of edge simmer so you hurriedly tried to move your legs mirroring what billie was doing. you looked at her for reassurance as you moved your legs over hers. “yeah, that’s good.” she nodded.

you brought yourself down pushing over her trying to find that specific spot that made your legs feel like jelly. you looked at billie trying to read her expression as a way to help you that you found her sweet spot too. she bit her lip moving her hair away from her face. she hummed with pleasure as you moved your pussy over a particular spot.

you smiled lightly, trying to repeat that action over that same spot. “yeah yn, just like that, please.” she moaned resting her hands on your hips. “such a pretty girl.” she purred, her face contorting as you grinded over her own pussy. the wetness in between making the smallest noises. that feeling you felt earlier was coming back almost becoming too much.

your hand rested over her leg that was off to the side and resting against the side of her chest. you moved with passionate eyes on that amazing feeling that was coursing up through you. “oh shit bils… i’m — i’m gonna cum.” you cried out, the pleasure blinding you.

she moved her head to the side clenching the couch. “me too yn… fuck — keep moving like that, please. jus like that.”

desperate spurts of moans escaped your throat as you kept your hips moving faster and harsher. you were right there you just needed a little push.

you looked down at billie to see her eyes fluttered closed with her lip between her teeth. that look on her face, the fact that it was you that was making her feel this good brought you right where you needed. you felt that feeling spread from your pussy throughout your whole body. “shit— i’m cumming!” you cried out.

billie only responded with a low guttural moan, grabbing onto your thighs as she came undone beneath you as well. her thighs shook as she cried out head thrown back against the couch with a blinding wave of pleasure crashing through her.

after the minute of whimpers and whines had passed, you had collapsed on top of billie, breathless and exhausted.

you didn’t know what to say. you both were a bit quiet for a moment before billie spoke up, breaking the silence. “this changes things, right?” her voice was barely above a whisper.

you nodded slowly, “yeah.” swallowing harshly you continued. “but i don’t think it’s a bad thing.” you admitted, mostly to yourself.

billie nodded, “it’s not.” her quiet voice was so soft. “it just feels different.” her thumb rubbing circles over your skin.

you agreed, your nerves still swarming inside you but billie was able to calm you down. “yeah, it is different.” you moved the blanket so that it covered you both, your naked skin in contact with hers.

billie shifted slightly still feeling unsettled. her movement was slow like she didn’t want to freak you out or startle you. she reached for your hand lacing them together, “are you okay?”

you hesitated, your eyes dropping to your intertwined hands. “i think so… it’s just a lot. i didn’t expect this y’know? i mean, i’ve always felt close to you but this — it’s new and kinda scary.”

billie gave your hand a gentle squeeze. “it’s scary for me too.” she admitted. “but that’s okay because we don’t have to have all the answers right now.”

you looked up and made eye contact with her finally seeing her face in full. “you make it sound so easy.” you whispered, feeling her so close.

she chuckled cuddling closer to you. “its not simple but if we have each other and we promise to always be there and be honest with each other, we’ll be okay.” her hand rested on your cheek.

you nodded leaning into her soft touch. “one step at a time.” you stated.

billie smiled. “exactly, so first step, how about we finish these snacks and instead make this a date? another movie?”

you looked in between her eyes before nodding. “i’d definitely like that.” you spoke softly. in response, she leaned down and pecked your lips softly.

© 𝐬𝐥𝐱𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐯𝐞

[californiannostalgia]

Do you realize how revolutionary this is? Vox Machina is possibly the world's most powerful adventuring party in terms of raw skill and social status, and the Prime Deities still used them as so much tools. The Mighty Nein were endlessly poked and prodded by Betrayer gods.

Miracles granted, then taken away. Powers given, then retracted. Prove your worth. Prove you are worthy to be blessed. Prove, prove, prove.

Bells Hells are saying no more to that. No more of temples deciding who lives and who dies, no more of gods deciding who is allowed to be saved and who is too dangerous to let live.

So many people wanted to kill Imogen so fucking badly. They never stopped talking about what a "potential danger" she was. Well, she heard your numerous and consistent threats and chose to protect herself and her loved ones. What the fuck did you expect?

(oh wow, powerful entities(countries, billionaires) determining not-yet-threats as enemies/resources/things and taking taking taking until someone puts their foot down to become an Actual Threat, where have we seen that before)

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

Unfortunately it's the Daily who broke this story, so I'm torn between "this is a rightwing gossip rag known for wholesale lying" and "the thing is this does track with my knowledge of detainee culture in usa prisons and detention centers"

Like, the history of political prisoners includes a GREAT DEAL of documented resistance from within prisons by the people suffering detention. It is both a way of asserting power in a system that severely restricts individual and communal autonomy, and a way of performing activism and advocacy from within authoritarian suppression.

The message of ensuring a political prisoner is well-groomed and styled is two-fold: 1) ensure they are able to show up in court with as much visibly communicated shared humanity with the "jury of peers" as possible, thus reducing the risk of state neglect and abuses influencing jury opinion on the prisoner, and 2) communicate clearly to everyone within the judicial system that powerful underground systems of solidarity and care have their eyes firmly trained on this person's well-being, and anything that happens to them will be taken as a severe act of aggression against that system of solidarity and care.

This may feel conspiracy minded, but it's important to remember that while we rarely hear about prison riots on the outside, every prison protest from the famous and historic Attica Uprisings to the recent Uprisings in North Carolina after they were abandoned in a flooded and lethal prison during Hurricane Helene in 2024 is an extension of this internal system of care. The battles fought are intentional and based in the risk/reward calculations of allowing a certain precedent to be set by hegemonic forces/systems.

It would not be an acceptable precedent for them to kill or harm Mangione in prison, nor to railroad his trial. People in a prison may not have much control over what happens to Mangione once he leaves the facility they know how to navigate. But they can certainly send a message to the outside world "if you harm this man, you invite a war"

Regardless of whether Mangione is guilty, innocent, convicted, pardoned, declared innocent, whatever, he is a political and politicized prisoner. That makes him an effective method of access and communication to the outside world. And that makes him someone worth protecting even on top of everything else that may already motivate his fellow prisoners to look out for him.

Basically: I'm not sure if the fade specifically is that message (although several former inmates/inmate activists online have disclosed they believe it IS), but it's clear that message is being communicated intentionally all the same.

I do think it's particularly interesting to me that people may have been imagining a world in which it would ever be realistic for prisoners to assault or harm Mangione. Regardless of HOW they communicated it, this message of solidarity from prisoners is both expected by anyone involved in prison resistance, and was practically announced to the whole world on live news by the detainees in Mangione's facility some time ago

"Luigi's conditions suck" is a very clear intro to "and we're angry enough about it to make sure the whole world can hear us"

If anyone is finding themselves surprised by these ideas or curious to understand better why people are talking about this and why they're making the assertions they do, I highly recommend reading some examples of prison letters and texts written by historic political prisoners and civil rights leaders. Letter from a Birmingham Jail is one of the most famous of these, but there are TONS and they're really fascinating insights into the complex community organizing of prison resistance. Angela Davis wrote prolifically in prison, including her work "If They Come in the Morning" and others. The Marshall Project also receives and directs letters from prisoners by the thousands and have collected some of the themes in the writing they receive from every day prisoners here, you'll find a lot of overlap.

Former prisoners & COs reveal that Luigi's new look was likely done by fellow inmates & is a symbol to show that they support & protect him.🥺🥺 ❤️ Huge blow to all the haters who for weeks have been fantasizing about Luigi getting assaulted in prison. lol

[atzhrts]

how do you think anton is as a boyfriend? i feel like he would be so cute and sweet and give you so much princess treatment but would def leave you speechless in the bedroom. i also feel like he would be the biggest simp ever😭

i definitely agree

biggest sweetheart ever

he’d be so shy during the talking stage. very shy to even talk to you for the first time and he would really appreciate it if you made the first move, but if you’re just as shy he takes the initiative, telling you he normally doesn’t do this but you’re so pretty he just couldn’t pass the chance to talk to you.

i feel like he would very much be the type of person to agree to whatever you wanna do on the first few dates. he looks for a few things to do, sends them to you and adds a “but if you don’t want to do that its fine as well!!! you can choose!!!”

definitely paying on the first date. would like to do so on every single one but you tell him to stop at some point. the two of you would always be bickering bout who pays or if you split, slapping your card over the others, and the waiter is just standing there observing.

so much hand holding (we’ve all seen the compilations of him constantly wanting to hold hands right?). when walking it takes about three seconds since you went out of the house for anton to intertwine his fingers with yours, he often swings them between you two dramatically, making both of you giggle. when watching a movie his favorite cuddle position is definitely you on his chest, him having one arm wrapped around your shoulder and the other thrown over his own stomach where his fingers meets yours. whenever you’re in a situation where he notices you feel nervous or stressed he takes your hand in his and gently rubs his thumb over it.

biggest sweetheart whenever you’re stressed, because he understands. anton will always do his best calming you down but he sometimes needs the same, let him play with your fingers, taking a ring off before sliding it back down, tracing the veins, brushing over your nails.

i definitely agree with the princess treatment part, always holding doors open, shielding your head from sharp edges, buying you whatever you look at for just three seconds. you definitely always have flowers on your living room table and whenever anton is over and he notices they’re kind of getting bad he brings new ones next time. when he’s away he just takes a guess and gets them delivered around the time he’d think yours have gone bad

but he also just wants to be your baby sometimes, laying his head on your thighs or chest and having his hair played with, getting him snacks or drinks when he’s in the studio and giving him massages whenever he’s tense.

nsfw a bit shorter because i feel like my whole blog consists of anton hard thoughts atp

soft dom you can’t change my mind

soft gentle touches, brushing your hair out of your face as he tells you how good your taking his dick.

will dabble into degradation a bit as well but he always pairs it with praise, i mean yeah you’re a slut but you’re his good little slut, you’re his favorite slut.

as discussed so often here, breeding kink. he even has a period tracker on his phone so he can always make sure he knows when to fuck you raw

honestly lets you do whatever you want as long as he’s he gets his dick wet he’s happy

[darkodomain]

AT LONG LAST!!

SHADOW OF A DOUBT :: HAIJU

ooooweeeee this bind took way longer than it needed to. finishing up the last of my exit exams and starting my residency, being in the middle of two other binds that were supposed to be Christmas/birthday gifts that I was behind on, compounded by the fact that half of my supplies were in another state for the better part of 6 months so i couldn't even work on it if i wanted to... a big yikes for the Free Time Industry. BUT here we are so. better late than never??

anywayssss!! the follow-up to my bind of Phantom of Truth from a couple of months ago. the initial plan was to make PoT look a bit like a handwritten scientific journal, at least from a glance at the spine, so I decided to keep with that theme (again, at least just for the spine design so there's consistency when they're shelved side-by-side). it took me forever to decide on a back cover design, mainly because i had ZERO (0) ideas, but I had just completed a bind of The Goldfinch where I'd made a depiction from one of my favorite chapters, almost like an illustration, and I didn't hate how it came out, so I decided to do the same thing with SoAD. idk what it is about that one part in the very beginning when Danny is first running away from Amity and he frames the stars with his bad hand... idkidk it haunts me, lives in my mind rent free. kinda the same thing with the front cover--i wanted to keep in-scheme with how I'd done PoT's cover, with the irridescent green inside of silver, and I absolutely love Haiju's concept of what Danny's radiograph would look like with his core.

a BIG BIG BIIGGGG thank you to the readers of my own fic, which I have been neglecting to update while I tried to juggle all of these creative endeavors at the same time as moving all the way across the coast and starting a new job--THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE WITH ME!! i promise now that this is complete, I'll be able to update more frequently and I won't have to keep y'all on cliffhangers 'til your arms ache anymore *cringing in apology*

[olessan]

I've been dropping in on the Sydney Botanic Gardens' titan arum (corpse flower) live stream and it gets less hinged by the hour, especially now that Putricia (the flower is named Putricia) has begun to bloom

At time of posting (5:30pm), she smells like wet socks and dead mice:

Other highlights:

People in the greenhouse are taking selfies with the plant but also the livestream camera

There is a discord server, apparently mostly comprised of the people who've been in the chat for 3 days straight

Aformentioned people formed a community of like 50-200 chatters until Putricia started blooming and the viewers and chat exploded to like 9k people ⠀

There are what appear to be Prayers to Putricia™, consisting of: WWTF (we watch the flower), BBTF (blessed be the bloom), WDNRP (we do not rush Putricia), WDNEP (we do not eat Putricia), and now WSTF (we smell the flower)

Faithfuls frequently post these to spread the word of Putricia

They have dubbed themselves the Children of the Corm:

Yesterday someone asked if Putricia's petals had started to open/bloom yet, and without fail 50% of chat immediately made innuendo jokes about their """""petals""""" opening, but that it depended on their personal humidity, who was touching the petals, and if the time was right for petal opening ⠀

Every 3rd time someone stands dead centre in front of the camera's FOV sufficient to block the view, chat starts 1: speculating on how tall they are (one guy was erroneously thought to be 7ft tall), and 2: immediately switch priorities to telling them to duck ⠀

a lot of people are waving at the camera and goofing off in the 3 minutes they have in the greenhouse with Putricia

A guy and his kid signed in AUSLAN at the camera ⠀

loads of fart jokes now that Putricia is starting to dutch oven everyone

[spidori]

I grew up on their stuff, and I don't just mean PBS kids (although mr. Rogers, Sesame Street, and Cyber Chase were formative for sure.)

I'm talking about things like Nova or Nature. Those series introduced me to a world so much larger and more intricately detailed than anything else could put in front of me. Even my visits to the Smithsonian can't compare despite the quality; as detailed as they were, they were also rare events, PBS brought something on the same order of magnitude into my living room so it could become a fixture for me to build my worldview around.

That level of wonder being available to me so consistently didn't teach me to think- I was lucky enough to have some wonderful people in my life for that- but it did make me want to learn how to. I wanted to understand the black holes, or the evolution of dogs, or whatever else might be on Nova this week. And if I was gonna do that I needed to learn how to learn and learn quickly. I also wanted to see how cheetahs hunting was different from lions was different from wolves, or see how different animals survived in the desert, or just marvel at the beauty of birds, or whatever else was the subject of this episode of Nature. I got to see a tiny bit of how cool the living things of the planet are! From my living room!

I understand deeply how having such detail and nuance normalized for me from such an early age helped me tremendously when accepting that the same level of nuance could be in other places, and that I could learn about it and come to understand, just like with the subjects on Nova. Not to mention there would probably be beauty and joy in whatever new-to-me part of the world I stumbled into mixed in with the hardships, just like with Nature.

PBS gave me that. For free. Because a bunch of people wanted that type of quality program to be available to people like me. In the optimistic hope that they didn't need to sell it, or anything else, to me in order to do it. They gambled on people wanting good for others. I don't know the words to express how grateful I am that they did, and were right.

In science, a common concept is that "if I have seen further, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants." Probably most famously repeated by Issac Newton. People don't always think about how we got to those shoulders, about the process of climbing to those peaks, or how to make the climb easier. Thank you PBs, and all the people who made it happen at every level, for bringing me signposts outlining the way up so many, offering the glimpses of the peaks that gave me reason and inspiration to climb, and paving the way through the basics to give me a smooth start. I appreciate all of it tremendously.

And that's not even getting started on all the non science content.

I couldn’t reboot it for some reason

[sungiescheotluv]

mirror muscles ⭑.ᐟ na jaemin

pairing: na jaemin x gender neutral reader

word count: 2.7k

tags/warnings: fluff, established relationship, suggestive, gym talk(?)

summary: doing your new resolutions with jaemin has always worked in your favor, most goals ticked off your lists. however, when you mention going to gym, jaemin's enthusiasm reaches new heights.

notes: hiyaaaa! it feels like forever since i last posted (two days omg 🙄) but i do hope you pretty stars enjoy this very indulgent fic! as an aspiring gym girlie, i'd do anything for this kind of princess treatment (particularly from jaemin 😋) also, the title of this is based on the soft play song with the same name (emo jisung, lemme give u some music recs). ok, i think i'm done here. wishing u all the best, much loveeee! <3

Note to self: never, under any circumstances, tell Jaemin your New Year’s resolution. Because one peek at your ambitious list and Jaemin will pry you from your warm bed, at the ass crack of dawn (might you add) to go to the gym because ‘nothing beats a morning pump.’

If you weren’t stupidly in love with him, you would’ve dropped a dumbbell on his toe.

How you get to this point is a lot more wholesome. Since the start of your relationship, once snow trickles down for Christmas, you two sit at your dining table with your laptops opened on Pinterest and pin-point what goals you'd like to achieve the following year. This way, you’re not shouldering your ambitions alone, having each other every step of the year as you tick off box after box. So far, you’ve managed to complete most of your goals. Go traveling, learn a new language, cook more home-cooked meals, limit screen time (still working on that) and many more. Jaemin was also progressing well: dedicating more time in his photography, reducing his coffee intake, going to bed earlier and visiting his mother more. 

For this year’s moodboard, while collecting pictures of your next set of goals, fitness content shows up in your recommendations. People in pilates studios in their pastel pink gym-sets. The aesthetic draws you in, how content people feel moving their body besides getting their 10k steps a day in. More photos start showing up, people sculpting their pride in the gym, sharing personal stories of their fitness journey and how the gym has taught them so much about themselves. What they’re capable of, what they never thought they could do and what opportunities lie await now that they’re happier in themselves. It all seems promising, even more so when you reconsider how bright your best friend’s life’s become since making the choice. She’d rarely accompany you to a game of badminton and now she’s pioneering her own run-club, amassing a social media following the size of an army.

You’d have to ask her how to get started once she’s back from her influencer trip (maybe content creating is something you needed to hop on). Then again, peering over your laptop screen to Jaemin’s glowing face, you could simply ask him. He’s been consistently going to the gym for a while now, to the point where you fake-pleaded for SM to close their gym because your boyfriend's become too buff for you to function. He’s always been gorgeous, with a face that could charm a snake, but now that he’s carved like a Renaissance sculpture, you couldn’t form a coherent sentence around him. Of course, aesthetic reasons are what lured him into the space, but he relays it’s become a lot more than that for him.

“I want to be strong, not only to build my confidence but to also protect my loved ones,” he looks directly at you, a serious hue to his eyes that has you breathless. “It’s another form of self-love, is my thinking. Showing up for myself, proving I can do hard things, even when I don’t want to. That I can step out of my comfort zone, trying new things and ultimately, living a longer life. Because at the end of the day, as much as I do this for me, I also do it so I can help you carry groceries. So that I can move furniture around when we move in together, be the one that my family calls if they need something physically demanding done,”

Fondness curves his lips, a flicker of timidity dart his eyes down to the desk before they flicker back up at you, astoundingly earnest as he says, “I’d also want to keep up with our kids. Carry them when they’re tired or run after them in a park. Those are my reasons.”

Something stutters in your chest. Then, leaps. Over the course of your three year relationship, it’s only natural that topics like this are mentioned, like marriage and children. Heck, you two shared a Pinterest board of decor ideas for the shared apartment you’d been on the lookout for. So, it shouldn't phase you but it does. How far into the future he sees with you. How he shares a bit of himself so effortlessly, in a way that lacks pressure and possesses good faith. Love and promise. All prominent themes throughout your relationship, one you thank your lucky stars for.

As a consequence, you flush. Folding like the early days of your relationships. “You’re getting bold these days. We haven’t even moved in together.”

“All in good time, angel,” he grins, looking a bit lovesick. “In any case, if this is something you wanna do, I’d be more than happy to help. Go to the gym with you so you don’t feel anxious, show you how to use the machines, get you workout clothes - whatever you want.”

You could marry this man.

You extend your arm across the wooden table, hand finding his as your fingers interlace, the same song and dance you’d hope you’d spend your life doing. “Thanks, baby.”

And now? Now, divorce weighs heavily on your mind.

In an effort to avoid the New Year’s crowd, Jaemin wakes you up early in the slum of days after Christmas where time doesn’t exist, cuddling into your half-sleeping figure with a gentle voice. Coaxes you to get up, slip on the new gym clothes you’d spent on his card (his treat, he said) and somehow, here you are, stinging eyes squinting under fluorescent lights with some EDM track playing faintly in the background.

“Oh, baby. Don’t look so down, you’re in good hands,” Jaemin coos, hand squishing your cheeks under your chin before pulling you into his chest, warm and comforting. “I’ll take care of you.”

“Couldn’t this wait until,” you glance at your fitness tracker, your own treat to yourself. “Midday? No one needs to be here at 9 am.”

“Maybe, but it’s a good way to start your day. Or get it out of the way,” he chuckles, spinning you out his arms before he wiggles his eyebrows. “Plus, who doesn’t want to see my muscles first thing in the morning?”

He drives home his point by kissing his bicep, something that should make you cringe out your skin or disappear without a trace, but no. Perhaps you’re still sleepy, shielding a snicker with your hand because of how lame (said adoringly) he is.

“You said you’d usually start off with thirty minutes on the treadmill, right?” You nod your head. “Okay, I’ll go with you. I’ll run for fifteen and row until you're done. So you don’t constantly have me in your ear.”

You laugh, because as grumpy as you’d been on the way here, you could never grow tired of him. All his carefree and mischief nature, his sweet and generous manner - you couldn’t even if you tried. 

Few people populate the modern gym, near to none in the cardio section as Jaemin refreshes your memory on all the buttons before you begin. Beside you, he does sporadic sprints, no heavy breaths clouding his chatter with you. You, on the other hand, keep it relatively reserved for your first time, upping the speed when you want to challenge yourself, surprising yourself with the distance and time that flies by. Soon enough, Jaemin’s squeezing your hand and moving a few rows back where the rowing machines are, leaving you with your walking playlist.

Again, in a flash, time passes by, upbeat songs blaring in your headphones that make you dance through the next fifteen minutes, a simmer of sadness coming when you’ve reached time with a whole host of songs still in the queue.

“You can listen to them next time,” Jaemin winks before leading you into a dark, LED room dotted with mirrors and yoga mats. This is one of the rooms booked for classes, but for now, it’s your stretching area where you cycle through some stretches and Jaemin jokes about folding you like a pretzel. 

The one other person in the room - a woman in her thirties - coughs, before smirking your way, the heat of your embarrassment migrating to your cheeks as you swat at Jaemin. He simply laughs, stretching to reveal his happy trail and suddenly, you forget why you’re even mad. 

When you’re finished, he shows you different sections - an assortment of cable machines, the weights area and then to an area with more machines. There’s a few people occupying the machines, immersed in their own world with flushed cheeks and sweat seeping into their clothes. It fills you with relief, that no one’s focused on you and your sweating figure as if you had ‘gym newbie’ written across your forehead. Jaemin shows you some of the machines he uses, depending on what he wants to work out but for the most part, lets you decide what machines you’d want to use - if any.

“Why do I need to put on muscle? You putting me in a headlock is good enough.” You fake-complain, feeding off the gentle approach Jaemin’s taken in trying to convert you to a gym rat.

“And you say I’m the dirty one,” he tsks with a matching grin. “You don’t need to do anything. All I’m doing is showing you the options you have. The more things you try, the more likely you’ll find something you lik-”

“Is that the slut machine?”

Jaemin’s head jerks back, eyebrows pinching together in confusion. “What are you talking about?’

“This one,” you approach the machine closeby, pointing to the photo attached along with its actual name - hip adduction. “Isn’t this the one where people like, open their legs like crazy?”

Jaemin shakes his head, amusement in the smile he swipes with his hand. “Yes, it is. Wanna give it a go?”

“Hell yeah,” you climb into the machine in a rush, finding the experience more exciting than scary as Jaemin makes sure everything is in order. “This is gonna be hilarious.”

“I’m setting it to a low weight. If it’s too easy, we’ll move it upwards and try and find your range,” he comments, looking at you through his silver hair. “You ready?”

“Ready,” and you go, the weight moving like nothing, so much so that when it sets back to its original position, you’re more caught off guard by how far apart your legs are spread. “This is so raunchy, ohmygod.”

“Good thing it’s facing the wall,” Jaemin laughs at you shielding in between your legs. He ups the weight, the number looking a lot scarier than anticipated. “Let’s try this then. You should be able to rep 10 of these.”

You shuffle, a bit unconvinced. Taking a breath, you engage the machine, exerting more effort than before but managing to do one rep. Then two, then three all the way up to ten. Enough to challenge you, but not strain you.

Jaemin howls, pinching your cheek as he says, “Look at you go! That was great.”

“Thank you,” you huff, the tingle in your thighs somehow the source of the happiness in your chest. “That was really fun, actually.”

“Isn’t it?” Jaemin smiles, using some paper towel to wipe after the machine for you. “Usually people do about three sets of those. Reps depend on what you want to do - build endurance, muscle strength, all that. But that was really great, I’m so proud of you.”

And you feel proud of yourself too. Having tried something new, feeling unsure but leaning into the feeling. Letting yourself see how far you can extend yourself, pleasantly surprised with the distance. 

So, this was what Jaemin was on about.

You continue your morning like this, getting a personalised tutoring session in how certain machines works and what areas they work out. Jaemin runs through his leg day, since you two were on the hip adduction machine, enjoying more exercises like leg press and goblet squats. By the time you get to the hip thrust machine to try, someone’s occupying it. Jaemin suggests using the squat rack, the scary thing with a long barbell and weights attached to it. Sensing your apprehension, Jaemin lets you know he’s got you, coaching you through the exercise and any queries you may have about movement or positioning. Eventually, it’s your turn to lean against the incline bench and despite your fear, you work your way through 8 hip thrusts. You don’t nearly enjoy it as much as people online talk about it, which Jaemin says,

“That’s perfectly fine. There’s so many exercises that work the same areas. You’ll find one you prefer.” 

Finished for your session, Jaemin asks for you to hold tight while he does some deadlifts. It’s maddening watching him pick up such heavy weights, concentration knitting his eyebrows together with his exposed arms flexing under the tension. Wearing a sleeveless top for the gym in theory is great, but for your mental health? Bad, so bad. 

Because even if your body rings with exhaustion, the kind that’s refreshing and ensures a peaceful slumber, you’re about ready to jump his bone. 

Ill with lust, as you’d joke. 

Jaemin snickers, snapping his waist belt off with one hand, which shouldn’t be sexy but is. Your eyes then trail to the barbell, the memory of Jaemin’s set vivid in your mind.

“Did you wanna try it?” Jaemin asks, reading your mind. “We can start off with no weights. Just the barbell. There’s also different variations of a deadlift, let’s see which one you prefer.”

Out of the three, you pick the most conventional one to start with, teeth sinking into your bottom lip at what you’ve gotten yourself into. Particularly after Jaemin loads weights on each end when you've rehearsed with the barbell.

“Think of the barbell cutting your feet in half - not standing too close so that your shins are touching it and not too far away that you have to lean to grab it,” Jaemin coaches, your feet shuffling into the right position. “Nice. Let’s move onto the hinge movement,”

From behind you, his hands settle onto your hips, pulling them back with him. He pats them, a chuckle left in his wake as he steps to your side to demonstrate without overly being horny. 

Bastard.

“Like you just did, you’ve gotta hinge your hips backwards until you can’t hinge anymore. Then, you’ll move a little into your knees, like a squat almost so you can grab the barbell,” you follow along, the barbell cold against your hands as you blow a breath.

“Great. Keep your body tense, engage your core and glutes. No arch,” his hand hovers over the arch of your back, something teasing in his smile. “Show your chest, keep your head up straight and lift the barbell up. Remember to keep it close to your body before you lower it down with the same hinge movement and movement into your knees.”

You puff out another breath, the same fear you’ve conquered throughout the session whirring in your chest.

“Don’t worry, angel,” Jaemin smiles, moving behind you again with hovered hands around your figure. “I’ve got you. You’ve got you.” 

Again, his words dawn on you. All the power in your hands, a feeling your heart wants nothing more than to run towards as you lift up the barbell, strength personified as you wait at the top of your stance, smiling at the “Let’s fucking go, you’re doing it! You’re doing it, angel!” in your ear. You hinge backwards, the weight knocked down to the floor with no tension on your back as expected.

Once you’re upright again, Jaemin engulfs you in a backhug, lifting your figure off the floor and kissing your neck, drawing giggles out of you. Joy moves through your body like warm light at his excitement that exceeds your own, belief not setting in quite yet.

“I can’t believe you,” he coos, the mirror ahead of you capturing the embrace he holds you in, the elation in his eyes as he does nothing but adore you. Like he’s always done. “Actually, I can. You’ve got a laundry list of things you’re good at. Can you believe it?”

“Not originally,” you admit, the confession somewhat bittersweet. “But after this, I think I’d better have more faith in myself.”

Fondness finds itself in his lips again, a kiss against your cheek as he gently guides you out the way, lifting the barbell onto the rack with his gaze in the mirror directed to yours. 

“Couldn’t have said it better myself.”

And you fall into laughter, helping him slid off the weights before flexing in the mirror like you wanted, finding a different strength in yourself with Jaemin by your side.

[argumate]

Musk's idiotically repellent display during the inauguration got me thinking of a couple of things I've posted about in the past relating to nazism and how we might think of it today.

before WWII the nazi leadership met with the German business elite and essentially offered them a deal, that in exchange for their support they would keep their factories and their positions and their profits, and this deal was accepted.

obviously it was not worth it: their profits were illusory while the bombs were very real, any "defeatism" led to execution or suicide, and Hitler's last act was to order the destruction of any factories that were not already rubble.

they had many opportunities to forestall this outcome but it would have required acting earlier and with foresight as to the risks of war and authoritarian government, something that should be much easier for us today, having their example from which to learn.

(it might also have helped if they had not devoted their lives to the mass production of armaments and been less eager to support wars of conquest as long as their profit margin was respected).

we know better today! and one of the things we know is that anyone publicly espousing nazi affiliation is begging for a fucking beating, by any criteria you can name!

it cannot escape anyone's awareness that nazis were the enemy of humanity, they literally declared war on the world and the world beat the absolute shit out of them, that much is known.

but they were the enemy of humanity in more ways than that: they propagated a vision of humanity as perpetually at war with itself, a humanity in which violence was a necessity and rule could only be justified by force, a humanity of torture and blood and death.

of all the ideologies held by petty warlords that set out to gain power over others, nazism is one of the most extreme, by the briefness of its history and the scale of its atrocities and the stark terms of social darwinism (with apologies to Darwin, whose personal beliefs and scientific discoveries were diametrically opposed to anything Hitler ever contemplated) and might makes right by which it justified them.

an avowed nazi has no grounds for complaint for being beaten: it is an outcome entirely consistent with past experience and future expectations, something that the world has stated will happen with great clarity for eighty years, and by the logic of their own ideology the loser of such a fight rightly deserves it.

to invite such a thing is the act of a fool who requires education, or a madman who needs help, or, sometimes, an absolute fuckwit who wants a beating.

[coffeegnomee]

genuinely i think alot of kaboodle's actions on lifesteal can be explained by her scripted lore background. the world of scripted lore is fraught with the idea that "lore" is just... being miserable. it was something that made it difficult for me to get into ksmp (though i did eventually enjoy it), because it felt just so awful all the time. pointless arguments didn't tug at my heartstrings, it made me frustrated. but that's besides the point

i think maybe one of the reasons she takes everything way harder than she should and exaggerates relationships and disagreements is perhaps because she is drawing in past experience to be a good entertainer, in the way she is familiar with. which is so fair! we are formed by our backgrounds. it does unfortunately make it difficult to watch her if you're accustomed to the more ""live action"" sort of format lifesteal is usually in, where people seperate their characters from themselves a little less. but she has a good size audience that seems to fw it, so i dunno

that's just my take on the overuse of the word "betrayal" and such

agree but disagree. yes scripted is usually just being miserable but zam is just miserable all the time and his lore actually makes sense and is very entertaining to watch and he also separates himself from his character (to a degree). but when he is miserable he is consistently miserable while also doing some fun things to distract from the misery or making some impact on the server like cleaning up spawn while being miserable to chat. kab just sits around and talks and does fuck all. sorry. hating. a lot of hating below.

and it's annoying because she is miserable but then will go be fighting her inner demons of destruction, but then won't destroy because she doesn't want to be mean and she cares so much, but then she plans to destroy anyway but then she doesn't do it and doesn't have any consistency in any motivation or characterization and she's all over the place. every hour her emotional state is different and there's absolutely no effort at a throughline and everything before is just thrown out the window.

And it pisses me off that she does come from scripting because surely her characters on ksmp had some throughline and consistency.

and yet her inconsistency on ls does make sense bc in scripted you can plan and succeed with every plan you make when you are literally scripting the outcome.

but on lifesteal you can plan for something cool and fun and it can be taken away in an instant by the very same people you were trying to impress and that is hard and will send anyone into being tilted.

and trying to decide how to react to that is wildly difficult and i dont really envy them having to figure out what to do, but i do wish she would DO something. but that's also unfair because she is doing something, she's rebuilding. but while rebuilding she's going between wanting 4c to help her while also trying to convince him to betray his team while also trying to convince him to give her a heart without a fight while also planning to kill him while also reminding herself she has to be nice to him. so she's just using him. just say it with your full chest. you never cared about him and you just want someone else to do the work to get your own selfish self-pity plan back on the server.

you want to complain and then have someone swoop in and save you. and you dont want to make any effort to actually care about that person.

it's miserably sad and annoying to watch because lifesteal is about caring about people, and she goes on and on an on about caring *so much* but she doesn't give a shit about anyone but herself. and she lies to herself and and chat and insists that she cares.

and yes that's a rather consistent characterization to through at ls!kab but damn if it doesn't read like that at all and she went from genuinely apologizing to 4c to just using him flat out and reminding herself that she needs to use him and cant just kill him.

maybe its just that she's vilely unlikable. maybe that's the point in her scripted mind. make a hatable character. and yet her actions also speak to desperately trying to make a likable character whom youre sympathetic to, she tries desperately to guilt trip and pull at the heartstings about how shes just been betrayed so many times and life is so hard for her and shes so weak and how could you be mean to someone so pathetic and wounded.

but she's not likable at all. she doesnt care about a single other soul or what they care about. the second they put a boundary up she wants to run and leave, which, fair enough, actually a cool characterization of trauma but like also so abusive-coded. but in the end she chose to not abandon bacon as far as we can tell, but i can tell you give it two seconds and that thought will come back and she'll decide to betray him anyway. because nothing is consistent and nothing she says has any long term value. she just goes on the past five minutes to decide what she will do.

she's just so fake and that fakeness can be attributed to the character, but it only feels even more fake because she insists it's a character and not her as she turns around and does something that makes more sense for her to do as herself than the character. she is being two people existing on the same account, swapping out whenever necessary. but that's stupid. take responsibility for your actions and your emotions. stop blaming others.

and yes. it all goes back to how painfully different scripted mcrp is from unscripted.

and i know for damn sure that this will not be like this next season because she will learn from this season. or she doesn't. and that's what's so frustrating. the possibility that she never learns why lifesteal is lifesteal.

the possibility that she keeps writing asshole abusive characters that just get more abusive because of her own internal mental problems that lay unresolved and shoved under the rug like they aren't part of the character even though they are part of herself. she refuses to look at herself and acts like if just just acts hard enough they won't affect anything. they effect everything. you can't run from yourself when you are making unscripted content.

and yes. i am being really mean about someone who clearly has a lot of baggage. yes i am being mean about someone who is abusive as a defense mechanism and hates boundaries because of fear of being alone and all these things that are basically the bully being bullied at home type beat.

but she embraces none of it. doesn't even see any of it. thinks she has written a cute story with kazam, a cute ship that may be a little messed up but is at it's core cute.

it's fucking abusive and shit. it makes my skin crawl. zam is screaming to be let out of it and she thinks it's sunshine and roses. she is, to use the word literally, delusional about her actions. she thinks they are one thing when they are anything besides that.

but we do have one success story. and the trend goes that every lifestealer learns what lifesteal is by their second or third season. they all eventually get it. vi chose to do a very distinct character vs streamer in s4 and he crashed and burned to a degree unfathomable. and he learned from it. and he now says that was his favorite story he ever told. he see's how he's grown as a person because of it.

there is only hope in the future when it comes to kaboodle. lifesteal genuinely changes you and makes you grow. not because you choose to grow, but because it forces it out of you.

but in this moment im just constantly a ball of rage and constantly sent into sadness every time i watch. and she keeps interacting with my mains so im not going to just miss the story, and the progression is already happening, the kablantis shock is a genuinely lifesteal trauma moment for kab and is already changing her in good ways. this is the story, this is part of watching lifesteal. the meta conflict is what makes this server painfully unique. this difficult encounter with players that piss you off. because people in life are like this. people can suck and hurt each other and don't look at their internal mental state, they shove things under the rug and think they're fine and cause sorrow and pain when life gets difficult. that's life. encountering it as story really helps understand the people around you. to be more compassionate, be able to see when theyre hurting and chose to be kind anyway. to learn how to feel the negative emotions and process them and not run from them yourself. or learn how to stick up for yourself and put up your own boundaries and learn that you can. to figure out who you are. it's the best. and the worst. and leaves me hating until i realize it is interesting even though i hate it.

[horseimagebarn]

i hate the horse hate people are so mean to them when half of this is false and the other half is misinterpreted to make horses look bad

punctuation and capitalization GO

Horses are not omnivorous and while they can eat meat this does not mean they should or that it is good for them. Anything is edible once

Horses have been changed wildly due to domestication and used to be much hardier smaller and stockier and more similar to ponies, which was much better for their natural environments. HUMANS gave them longer legs, larger bodies, etc. so a lot of their perceived health problems are because of human interference. I wrote an essay on horse evolution before that covers this a little more

Also horses' legs CAN support their weight. If they couldn't, they would just. Not be standing up. Ever. Or be able to run. Ever. Anyone who has ever been kicked by a horse knows their legs aren't weak. @lgbtlunaverse pointed out in the notes that the "problem" with horse legs isn't that they break often, but that when they do break, they're more likely to shatter instead of a clean break, which makes leg injuries much harder to heal and much more likely to be fatal, especially with how much horses rely on their legs for every part of their lives.

Rodents also need their teeth growth managed and we don't call them freaks of nature for it. Horses are grazers whose natural diets consist of coarse grasses that wear down their teeth. They have to continuously eat this their whole lives like all large grazers so of course they need to have good teeth for it. EDIT: Horses need their teeth filed or "floated" at an angle to prevent injury due to the structure of their jaws. However this does not mean that they are bad or improperly "made" because they evolved over thousands of years and this is not an "error" of a "creator" but a fact of horse existence. Similarly, us humans need to cut our nails at certain angles or else they can become sharp and scratch ourselves and this is not considered a fault of some creator but a fact of life. Living things need maintenance sometimes. thank you @apothe-osis for pointing this out

Similarly to this last point, because horses are meant for a life of continuous eating, their bodies are designed to be constantly processing their intended diet of grasses in order to keep up with their large body size and won't vomit because of that structure. Horse bodies are built for a different type of life than humans, and vomiting requires a lot of different parts of the body working as one, and horse bodies do not have the proper alignment of organs and reflexes to vomit. This is not a bad thing because typically in their natural environments horses should be eating only coarse grasses and don't have any reason to vomit or mistake something inedible or poisonous for grass. I have an immense fear of vomit so I won't go more into vomit science but yeah

SO MANY ANIMALS have skull shapes that give them better vision on their sides than their fronts. This is a common thing in prey animals because they need to be able to see all around them to look out for predators. It's very anthropocentric to berate them for having "bad sight" when they can see SO MUCH MORE than humans if we're just talking about field/range of vision. They only have a VERY SMALL blind spot in front of them, anyway, and can see most of what is in front of them using binocular vision, while they use monocular vision to see in a wide arc around their sides.

Humans ourselves only use AT MAX about 1/3 the oxygen we inhale, so this is a stupid argument. If horses weren't getting the proper oxygen they needed, they wouldn't be such good runners. You should NEVER be using ALL of the oxygen in your lungs...you should always have some extra, or else you're constantly gasping for breath to perfectly fill your lungs. Their hearts work perfectly with this amount of oxygen

This also misrepresents horse breathing. Horses breathe normally except at gallop, where their intestines don't "slosh back and forth," they move, because their bodies are DESIGNED TO RUN and that movement of their internal organs during gallop is caused by the movement of their abdominal muscles to push their body along. That movement allows them to breathe perfectly in time with each stride, preventing hyperventilating or messing up their breath. This allows them to run more perfectly than humans, who can get messed up in their breathing during sprint and sometimes have to practice/learn how to breathe properly during exertion!!!! Everyone's organs move when they do stuff...our organs and ribs move when we breathe too!

Horses receive enough grief as it is people need to stop spreading misinformation and misrepresenting the information that is out there when it comes to them. We transformed horses into our ideal working animal and now that they have no real purpose in many large modern societies we berate and ridicule them for even their most uncontrollable bodily functions? Why can we not simply accept them for what they are and admire the uniqueness of their biology instead of ridiculing them for it??? I don’t get it horses are beautiful and deserve love just like all living things. They do not exist to spite Mother Nature, they are one of her many children. I hate that people act like horses are some unholy monster when they’re just animals trying to live and at the end of the day so are we

submitted by @hands-off-my-macaroni

[milliesfishes]

౨ৎ꣑ৎNobody's Son, Nobody's Daughter౨ৎ꣑ৎ

౨ৎThere's many different ways that you can kill the one you love (The slowest way is never loving them enough)꣑ৎ

[fem reader] contains: pregnancy, angst, mentions of sexual activity, miscarriage, struggles with eating, weight loss pairing: coriolanus snow x fem reader summary: coriolanus has always resisted the unexpected. you surprised him author’s note: some coryo angst for you my loves Pinterest Board Spotify Playlist

Regret is a disease, in Coriolanus' opinion. It starts small, a thought in the back of one's mind, something that couldn't possibly be true. But time waters the roots until it towers over you, until you are unable to live anywhere but in its shadow.

There were things he wished he didn't do. Or, more accurately, things he wished he didn't have to do. But every movement was careful, every notion considered. He wouldn't be where he was today if it weren't for all he'd done. Both good and bad. It wasn't easy being the man of the house, a title he'd worn for more time than not.

His family was taken care of. Tigris was seeing a flourishing career in fashion, her designs paid for by the highest bidders. The Grandma'am had long passed, but her funeral was as regal and fine as any could be, true to the way she had lived. Coriolanus saw that fresh roses made their way to her grave regularly.

So really, it had all been worth it. He himself was doing more than fine, one of the youngest politicians in Capitol history. The pay gave him an extremely comfortable lifestyle, enough to provide for his cousin too, if she ever needed it.

Quickly though, he learned it didn't matter how much money he had now. Spending his formative years starving in every way possible had cut its mark, leaving a scar he wished he could cover up. The most frequent content of his nightmares consisted of being back in that dreary old penthouse, squeezing his feet into too-small shoes and gulping down a mouthful of watery cabbage before running off to school to maintain an image that had long died. He woke up in cold sweats, fisting his silk sheets, heart pounding. He'd look to the open closet door, where there was an entire row of shoes just in his size, and then ring for tea that was more than just boiled water.

These inner demons caused him to feel reckless. He kept it within for the most part, terrified at the prospect of lost control. Even though there was very little to hide anymore, he was well aware of how quickly good fortune could turn sour. The state of his savings was an indication of that, packed to the brim just in case something went awry.

It wasn't just money or lost investments to worry about. Coriolanus' entire career was dependent on the public eye, his perfect image. Of course, it was easier to maintain now that he wasn't lying about finances, giving him an up from when he was at the Academy. Other less than pretty facets of his past were well hidden, where only one who knew what to look for would find.

He was the only thing he couldn't control.

Being both the only person he trusted and the person he trusted the least was conflicting to say the least. On one hand, he knew himself. On the other, he knew himself. Knew that no matter how much he had, he would always crave what he wouldn't allow himself to have. The list wasn't long, but the contents took up a great deal of space.

Coriolanus had known he'd have to take a wife at some point. Politics were a family man's game. Being head of a household boded well for those wanting to lead the country, apparently. If that were the only requirement, he would have been president years ago. He held off as long as he could. It clearly wasn't that important if he'd been able to get this far.

Still, the higher he climbed, the more of an issue it became. At dinners with his colleagues, he was the only single man attending. During parties, he discovered there was only so much he could do without a partner at his side. A wife would help him make connections, soften his image. He was aware of how he came off because he'd gardened himself to be that way. Getting married was the only way to fix it without changing himself.

The requirements were more than generous. Someone young, pretty, who could hold her own. Beyond that, he couldn't care less. The dreaded L word was so far out of bounds that it was the opposite of a necessity. He observed debutantes with a critical eye, approaching the few he found to be acceptable. Going as far as calling on one or two, he resigned himself to mediocrity, even looked forward to it. This would open doors he'd long wanted to get behind.

Coriolanus met you at a dinner hosted in your father's home. You were seated next to him, beautiful posture and face not unnoticed by him. When you spoke, he heard music, and he didn't even like music. But there must have been a siren in your mouth, because he found himself hanging onto every word that fell from your lips. And then when you turned to him, asked his name with eyes that reminded him of the stars, he knew he was gone.

He'd sworn off love long ago, resisted the strongest of temptations in every facet of his life in order to stay perfect. But you were an aphrodisiac tuned to his senses; a poison hidden behind a flower. You'd smiled at him so sweetly, asking him questions about himself that he hardly heard through the beat of his own heart. At the end of the night, he was forced to accept the truth- that he was wholly enchanted by you.

This was the opposite of what he wanted. Coriolanus told himself to distance himself now that he'd identified the problem, to turn to one of the other girl's he'd picked out and make himself content. The last thing he'd expected was to be swept up in a single girl, to have her face in his mind during waking and sleeping hours. His nightmares turned to dreams of you sitting beside him at the fireplace, lips ever so close but never touching.

This was worse than the nightmares. He could reassure himself that those weren't real. Sleeping pills weren't something he'd touched before. Too addictive, too risky. He started taking two with his nightly tea.

Dreamless sleep didn't fix his waking hours. He couldn't help inquiring about you, learning every tidbit anyone could tell him. You were an accomplished student, raised to perfection for society's prying eyes. Various accounts detailed your charm, your beauty, your genuine sweetness. The vice within him only bloomed with every new detail, until he found himself on the front steps of your dwelling, telling himself he was only going to call. Nothing more. It would satiate his curiosity.

Of course, you were lovelier on your own somehow. A diamond in the rhinestone pool he'd dived into in search of a companion. His calls increased in frequency, the other options forgotten. In what felt like no time at all, the ring he'd carefully selected was on your finger, sitting there like it was always meant to be. Like he'd fixed in the one piece that made you short of the whole puzzle.

He was deep in the whirlwind that was you, under your spell. When he kissed you for the first time, it was dizzying, your touch shutting off his mind. In this way, he claimed you, put his mark where everyone could see it.

All his life, he'd had to guard his possessions, from food to pride to image. He lived at less than half full for the sake of holding onto these things. One sip of posca. Only a few more bites so he could eat tomorrow. Keep yourself alert or they will take everything from you.

You were the one indulgence he allowed himself. He told himself he deserved it, just this one time. Something good on purpose. Something good that was unplanned. Maybe...just maybe. He sobered up quickly on his wedding day.

Seeing you standing across from him, eyes soft, looking a vision in white, it hit him what this meant. He had you. And now he was in danger.

Love had consequences. Love made him blind. Love had almost cost him everything in the past. He'd broken his own rule, made himself a target for tragedy. Worse somehow, he risked you.

Marriage meant sex. Sex meant babies. He'd known that before, of course, but it as staring him in the eyes now, a knife to his throat. Memories of his mother's screaming and her pale, lifeless face were ghosts before his eyes as he recited his vows. His one indulgence couldn't have been a worse one. Your smile suddenly felt haunting, not sweet.

All through the reception, he was making a new list in his head. Now that he'd done the one thing he'd vowed not to, he'd have to deal with the aftermath the only way he knew. Love was a wildfire, and he was prepared to fight it, contain it as best he could. Coriolanus Snow could control the uncontrollable, steer himself away from the wreckage he'd caused.

He had what he'd wanted, even if followed by a worse issue. Till death do us part.

As far as regrets went, you were his biggest one.

Your nightdress tonight was red. A last-ditch attempt. Coriolanus seemed fond of the color, the same as his precious roses, his favorite suit, the Snow family crest. Even his leather briefcase had a maroon tint to it.

When he entered the bedroom, stone faced as usual, he made quick work of unbuttoning his shirt and removing his shoes, barely nodding at you. Sitting up straight, you smiled hopefully, waiting for him to say something about your appearance.

He was quiet as he approached you, getting on the bed and holding out a hand, which you took, heart beating optimistically. His hair was a little messy, eyes unreadable as he took you in. When he pulled you closer, you almost sighed at the feel of his skin on yours, the warmth of it making you want to curl up against him forever. Coriolanus leaned in, and you tilted your head up, hoping for a kiss.

Instead, your husband exhaled, looking at you in a way you didn't understand. Patting the mattress, he slid his hand to your back, nudging it a little. "Come on."

Your heart sank, thudding in your belly. Trying not to let your face show it, you rolled onto your belly, his arm sliding around your waist. Another night of this, and he still refused to look at you.

It'd been the same since your wedding night. He'd come into your room, push up your nightdress, and take you the exact same way, not a hint of emotion in the act. You couldn't have predicted this in your courtship, or else you wouldn't have agreed to be his forever.

A friend had detailed the act, describing it as something painful, a task to be done. But she'd smiled at you after describing her experience. "I don't think it will be like that for you. He really cares about you. Anyone can see it."

You'd believed her. Why wouldn't you? He'd been perfectly doting, telling you everything you wanted to hear and bringing the sweetest gifts. The men you'd been called on by before were generic in their efforts. Coriolanus had remembered things about you, spoken like he understood. It was easy to fall for him.

He was handsome and successful, yes, but there was something more to him that you managed to unlock. It was the way he touched you, the way he spoke to you. It felt as though he cared. You would have followed him to the ends of the earth if he'd asked, so smitten you'd grown wings. He kissed you and it made you weak at the knees, something inside you panting for more. If this was how he loved outside, the way he loved within the bounds of marriage was sure to be life changing.

As a child, you were left at the mercy of nannies and tutors to learn how to live. Your parents were distant, participants of an endless social calendar you had to pen yourself into. All through growing up, you longed for a hug, a kiss, a soft word. You'd gotten a taste now. Coriolanus left you starving.

It was rare now that he touched or even looked at you. A switch had flipped after the wedding, and now he was a version of himself you'd never known. Someone who no longer wanted to speak to you, who only called on you when he needed to be seen at your side.

Obviously, you'd done something wrong, but you couldn't decipher what. Had you said something at the reception? Had someone told him something about you? Either way, you had no idea, and he certainly wasn't going to tell you. So you tried to make up for it in any way you could.

The pretty nightdresses. The photographs at every event. You played the part as well as you could, making yourself completely perfect for him. All the while, silently begging: love me, love me, love me. Want me the way you did before.

You never spoke of it directly, but you knew the goal was to conceive as soon as possible. Why else would he partake in such an activity every night, one that he didn't seem to enjoy at all? Hope was your constant. If you were good for him, things would go back to the way they were before. He would be pleased with you and your sex would morph into lovemaking. And you would be happy again.

The week you missed your monthly, you immediately phoned for an appointment with the doctor, elated that you might finally be pregnant. You held off until after confirming to tell Coriolanus, practically bouncing in your seat on the couch by the door. Every second dragged until he finally entered, looking tired as usual from his time in the office. He was handsome as ever though, and you started daydreaming about what the celebration would be like after you revealed your happy news.

"Darling," he greeted, setting his briefcase on and loosening his tie. Since he would only do so if the door was locked, you leapt to your feet, feeling weightless with excitement.

Coriolanus looked at you curiously, removing his coat as well. "Is everything alright?"

Nodding, you reached up and straightened his collar, wanting to touch him more than ever. He hesitated before setting his hands on your hips, and a jolt of joy urged you forward. Palms flat on his chest, you looked into his eyes, the color of a summer day's sky. Unable to help your smile as you said it, you said, "I'm pregnant."

Silence. You held your breath, watching his face.

Then he leaned forward, kissing your forehead. You closed your eyes, smiling in relief. "Good," he said, brushing your cheek with his thumb. Leaning into his touch, you waited for it to turn to more, for him to pick you up and carry you to your bedroom and tell you how proud he was, how well you'd done for him.

His hand fell from your waist. You opened your eyes in confusion, watching him disappear from sight. Footsteps, the ones you laid awake and waited for every single night, sounded down the hallway until you heard the familiar click of his office door shutting.

The feeling didn't overwhelm you at first. It poked your shoulder, tilted its head at you and settled, curling into your feet before you could ask what it was. It carved a hole into your heart, the spot you'd saved for him. And then you realized that maybe it'd been hollow all along, this just smashed the wall that hid it from you.

You scrambled for something to cling to, coming up short. The new life growing inside you wasn't enough, and neither, it seemed, were you.

Dragging yourself to your room, you didn't bother to change into one of your nightdresses. In the closet, you'd laid out a special one, in deep red and edged with lace, when you were sure tonight would end in triumph. You didn't think you could bear to look at it right now.

Instead, you draped yourself over your side of the bed, facing the wall. Your hand automatically crept to your tummy, but you forced it away, clinging to the blanket under you instead.

There were his sharp footsteps again, getting closer this time. You perked up, but didn't move. Maybe he was coming with good intentions after all. After all, you knew the news of becoming a father must have been shocking. Maybe he'd only needed a moment to collect himself.

You closed your eyes, waiting for him to come around to your side of the bed so you could open them and smile up at him and have all be well. His belt clinked with his pants button when he unbuckled it. You knew every move just by the sound. Shoes off. Unbuttoning his shirt. Pants off. There was a dip in the mattress, and then the light clicked off.

The feeling found you again, coming on stronger this time, winding its fingers around your neck. Tears built up in your throat, and you couldn't suppress a sniffle, hoping he wouldn't hear. Coriolanus muttered your name, but you didn't move.

Perfectly still, you resigned to him.

The loss of you was a chasm Coriolanus tried to skirt. He failed miserably.

You were still present of course, your heart still beating, blood still running through your veins. But you couldn't have been further from alive if you'd tried. Gone was the fresh-faced girl he'd married. You were quiet now, paler and thinner.

He knew it was his fault. Coriolanus bore that burden every day, convinced now more than ever that it would be worse for you if he let himself be near. He'd hurt you enough in the process of conceiving a child. That was enough for a lifetime.

After you informed him of your pregnancy, he was finally able to distance himself from you altogether. There was no more touching, no more sex that left him dizzy and wanting you. You were his forever and that was bad enough for you.

There was a twinge in his heart each time he saw you. He tried to reason with himself. It was for the best. You didn't need the likes of him around while you were already dealing with something like your pregnancy. He could barely process that it was his child. Something he'd done to you.

The doctor's reports that darkened his desk each time you had a check in only grew more concerning in content. Losing too much weight...decreasing appetite...not safe for the baby...

Coriolanus pushed the evaluation to the side, despite the growing pit in his heart. You were seeing the best doctors in all of Panem. Surely, they'd find a way to help you before it was too late. He tried to focus back on his work, picking up his pen and staring at the words in front of him. It was dark, the only light in the room coming from the lamp on his desktop.

His mind wandered. The image of you the last time he'd seen you- gaunt and ghostlike, curled up on a chair and staring at the same page of a book for near twenty minutes- was burnt into his eyes. Even through his avoidance, you would always try to speak to him, ask about his day or chatter about yours. He'd found it painful at the time, when he was forced to brush you off. But now that it was gone, he missed it.

One night, he had decided to go downstairs for dinner, though he usually didn't take meals with you. Telling himself he only wanted to check on you, he entered the dining room and found it empty. Not even a light on. The staff were very consistent about mealtimes. He only grew more confused at the fact that everything in the room appeared untouched.

A single ask, and he learned that you weren't taking regular meals, simply ringing up for tea every now and then. "I send a sandwich or two up with her tray," one of the cooks told him shyly, wringing her hands. "I feel right awful for her, in her condition. And the plate always comes back empty."

It was on his mind as he stared at the doctor's report where he'd pushed it. Tapping the end of his pen on the desk, he tried to suppress the draw of you from your bedroom. It was as if there was a rope tied around his heart connecting it to yours.

He dropped his pen, watching it clatter atop the document he'd tried to study. Pushing back in his chair, Coriolanus stood up, wincing at the ache in his legs from sitting so long. Being holed up in his office for close to days at a time was beginning to take a toll.

There was no thought, his feet took him to your door in an instant. When he opened it, you were right where he'd seen you last, not even trying to pretend to read the book in your lap. Your hands were folded primly. He looked to the wall as if he'd see whatever you were.

Waiting a moment, he stood still in the doorframe. You didn't acknowledge him, not even a head turn.

Finally he broke, making his way over to kneel at your side. "Darling," Coriolanus offered softly. "How are you feeling?" His head was telling him to walk away, but the rope gave a tug, and he remained beside you.

"I'm fine," you whispered, voice raspy. Your hand migrated over your belly, and his eyes went with it. There wasn't much to see yet, but he could immediately tell the difference. The way your belly was rounding with something he'd sworn he imagined until now.

Looking back at you, he suppressed every protest that arose. "Have you eaten yet?"

You finally met his eyes. He found himself suddenly in need of more air. "No."

Coriolanus nodded once, keeping his expression neutral. Tearing his gaze away, he said, "I'll ring for something for you."

When he began to stand, your hand shot out, curling around his wrist. Fire. He was getting burned and he didn't want it to stop. "You're not staying?"

The disappointment in your voice nearly caused him to deny it. But he'd never lied to you, and he wasn't about to start now. "No."

"Oh." The word was a defeated, empty thing and he wanted to scrub it away immediately. Your eyes dropped, and you began to pick at the skirt of your dress.

"I still need to get work done," he explained keeping his tone even. "Eat something. It'll make you feel better."

"I'm sure." That got his attention. Your tone with him had never been anything but soft, but now it was flat, nearly sarcastic.

He stopped. "Is there anything else you need?"

"Nothing you want to give," you said, standing up and smoothing your dress down. "I don't need you to ring. I want tea."

"Darling-" You shook your head, and he felt like a scythe had been driven through his chest.

It was quiet for a moment. The look on your face crossed the bounds of language, and he felt his heart dip.

Every horror he'd endured paled at the hollow space in your eyes. You watched him, seeming to wait for something. When you spoke it was soft, but he was tuned into every word. "What did I do wrong?" It was the unsaid that threatened to bleed him dry. The tears he could hear gathering behind your eyes with five words.

Then he realized what you'd said. Brow furrowing, he shook his head before he could get his response out. "Nothing. You've never-"

"I must have," you interrupted, voice breathy with unborn crying, eyes wide as a baby deer's. Your hand found the sweater material of your dress over your collarbone as your breathing grew unsteady. He was too stunned to do anything but watch. Months of marriage and this was the first time he'd seen this side of you. "You won't touch me. Or even see me anymore." Blinking fast, you whispered, "I thought you would love me."

He spent nearly all his time loving you. "I'm doing what's best for us," he maintained, straightening and ignoring the way you seemed to sink further into yourself. "This is for the best."

"I did do something." You nodded, looking away and swallowing hard. Though he could see the tears in your eyes, you did not let a single one fall.

Then, your posture leveled, and you lifted your chin, and he found himself in the starlight of your eyes once more. "I want to fix it." You stepped forward, grasping his wrist in one soft hand. He forced himself to stay in control, hand limp as you held it with both of yours. "Let me."

Coriolanus nearly crumbled. Every weakness he possessed was urging him into your light. Your touch, your scent, your eyes, your voice. The sight of you with his ring on your finger and his child growing within you.

But he had to. Pulling his hand away, he exhaled, resisting the urge to take you into his arms. "I'll ring for your tea. Eat something."

All the way back to his office, his ears were ringing. He made sure to call for your meal before collapsing into his chair, chest nearly heaving. It had gotten to a point of no return. Everything within him was warring, fighting to be heard. And everything was right.

Never before had he been so wholly consumed by a single person, so much so that it hurt to be apart. Coriolanus pressed a hand to his chest, willing the ache to lessen. There was no point in denying the problem any longer.

You thought it was your fault. He'd never even considered that his distance would cause something like this. And your guilt was literally eating you alive.

It was his fault for being close to you. It was his fault for not being close enough. Both options fought until the image of you bloody and pale reemerged, silencing everything in his head. Even the sleeping pills couldn't prevent this nightmare.

When he went to bed, your tea tray was being retrieved by a maid who kept her head down as she passed him. Both halves of the sandwich were still on the plate.

Shadows. The tile was cool on your cheek, and you were too weary to open your eyes.

Blooming. Your body was burning, a fist tearing something from your lower belly that you would have fought if you weren't so weak. Something wet and sticky pooled at your thighs, but you couldn't move. Your dress was ruined, you knew without seeing it.

This was it. The end of your loveless years. Losing. Every hope you'd gained was shattered at your feet along with the one thing you'd thought could save you.

He crossed your mind, just once. Yet another thing you'd chased away. You'd tried so hard to be perfect that it had driven him from your side. You'd been tricked into life's truest bind, but now you were being released.

The ring on your finger was heavy in a comforting way. It reminded you how desired you once were, that old dream coming back like a fond memory. Oh, to be so naive again.

Someone was calling your name. An angel? You mumbled, waiting for the searing pain to fade into nothingness.

Instead, a pair of hands found your body. Your heart found relief, one desire fulfilled. The most impossible one, you knew, although you couldn't recall what it was.

Your mind cut out before you could remember.

His visions had come true. Coriolanus had been convinced he'd imagined it to life as he'd collapsed at your side and bellowed for help. you barely stirred as he pulled you into him, every wall he'd built shattered into nothingness.

Whispering your name over and over like it was a cure, he'd held you to him until help arrived, leaving him alone on his knees in your blood on the bathroom floor.

The doctor worked quick, apologizing in hushed tones for his loss when he was finished. Coriolanus barely felt it. All he heard was that you were alive, that you would open your eyes once more. He went through the motions of cleaning himself up rigidly, returning to your side as soon as he was able.

His heart was numb. The unthinkable had happened. But you were still here. This upset the balance in his head, leaving him reeling for answers. All his life had been a game of the worst cause and effect. Goodness triggered loss of it. But you were still here. You were still here.

Coriolanus found himself kneeling by your bed as if in prayer. Your breathing was steady, and you looked more at peace than in months. His tight grip on control began to loosen as he watched you sleep, let himself linger on the smooth surface of your skin, the curve of your lips. Every detail he'd pretended not to notice in his destructing act of protection.

He didn't need it spelled out, but the doctor told him anyways. Stress. Of course, the man couldn't possibly know the cause of it. The guilt cloaked him until he sank to the bare truth. He'd be atoning for the rest of his life. Beyond, if he was lucky.

Everything he thought he knew was in ashes. He wanted to retreat into himself, hide away in his office and bury himself in a shallow grave of paperwork. Ignoring everything as if he were a concept and not alive was his usual style. But the lesson stood tall above the wreckage. The only thing worse than having you was losing you.

Succumbing to the wildfire, his eyes didn't leave you when you began to stir. Your eyelids lifted, and he saw stars again.

He wanted to shoulder the weight he'd added to you. With his ring, he'd ruined the perfect girl he'd sworn to love and protect. With one of those notions, he destroyed the other.

Locked in your eyes, Coriolanus hesitated, sentences fading between his tongue and teeth. Everything he wanted to say was beyond words, instances that took more time than he had. There was only this moment to begin. And so, for the first time, he let his heart guide the way.

Reaching out, he almost expected you to withdraw. But when he settled his palm on your cheek, you merely shut your eyes again, tilting your head up into his touch. He had a foot in the door.

When he removed his hand, you didn't react. But when he crossed around your bed to sit beside you, stretching his arm out so you would rest on his chest, you snuggled close, blinking sleepily. His touch was careful, almost sure you would shatter under it.

Your ear covered his heart, listening to it beat for you. His hand smoothed your hair. The warmth of your body distilled the ache for now. Reaching down, he kissed the top of your head, holding his nose there to breathe you in.

The disease had switched courses. Regret now laid in the past, not the future.

[shiftingdisaster]

My Percy Jackson DR Intro ★*•.

About me

ᯓ꩜ Alvaro Willow, Child of Auroea.

ᯓ꩜ In this dr I’m 12 years old, going along with the ages of the main characters. Whats the fun of shifting to a dr if not to experience it at the same age it’s depicted in?

ᯓ꩜ I have brown curly hair with faded teal streaks, mostly just leaving green and yellow left, I love my hair being dyed but I love swimming in the lake and warm showers more than maintaining the color. Blue eyes with brown central heterochromia and tanned skin.

Godly Parent

ᯓ꩜ I’m a Child of Auroea, a goddess I made up, in this reality at least. Auroea, pronounced (Oar-re-uh), is the goddess of mystic powers. The powers that come from the planet itself, rain, earth, wind, and magic. She was one of the first Titan-Goddesses, born of a piece of Gaea that Helios found and crafted into a god. She’s the goddess who first created the mist that separates the magical world from the mortal one. She has powers in most the domains of the olympians, though less of a connection to them as they do. Her magics are what caused many animals and people to have access to magic, despite not being of godly descent or creation.

ᯓ꩜ Auroea’s sacred animals consist of Humming Birds and Manta rays. She’s the mother of the first fae and nymphs. Auroea is also known to be a protector of heroes, specifically but not limited to child heroes, so despite not being an olympian and not having demigod children anymore, she has a cabin at camp half-blood to honor her.

ᯓ꩜ Auroea doesn’t have many children anymore due to so many greek demigods dying by monsters hands, or claws, at young ages. She makes few exceptions over the millennia, one of which being me. The last child she had before myself was in the 1400’s and lived as a reclusive warlock in the woods.

Past

ᯓ꩜ I grew up in southern california with my older brother and dad, running around in the sun and going to my elementary school that was at the beginning of the street I grew up on. My life was fairly normal till I was 6, when I started getting visions. After having them a while, my dad concluded that it had to do with my mom and decided to take me to camp.

ᯓ꩜ Once at camp, I met Grover who ended up taking us to the big house where we were introduced to Chiron and Mr. D, They tried to figure out what was happening, because then we didn’t know they were visions, but since I hadn’t had a vision since coming to camp, they weren’t sure. But, despite that, barely a couple days after arriving at camp, I had a dream. Apollo showed up and told me what was happening. I was a prophet. My powers were supposed to show up earlier, but he held them off as long as possible so I could have a semblance of a childhood without constantly seeing the future. He told me about how he blessed me to hold off my powers, and now the blessing would work to help me have more control of my powers.

ᯓ꩜ Days later, a week into my first year at camp, I was the turning point in a game of capture the flag and once I was given a golden laurel for winning, My mother claimed me.

Apollo’s blessing

ᯓ꩜ Apollo first noticed my presence after I was given to my dad, sensing that I was going to be one of his prophets. I had a natural knack for my powers when I was barely a year old, which was when he first decided to bless me. He made his blessing so I wouldn’t come into my powers too early into my childhood and when I did eventually come into them, they wouldn’t be too powerful to where I had no control of them.

ᯓ꩜ My prophetic powers don’t have much of a physical impact on me, but they do tend to cause me to glow somewhat when in use. My visions tend to make my eyes emanate what looks like sunlight, while when I tell a prophecy my whole body emanates or rather, glows, the same light.

Powers

ᯓ꩜ My powers from my mother consist of weaker versions of her own godly ability over her domains, I can control rain and move storm clouds at will, manipulate winds to move certain directions or speeds, I can manipulate plants to grow at different paces and what directions they grow in, along with most forms of earth (dirt, rocks, etc).

ᯓ꩜ I can do advanced magics such as telekinesis, casting spells and curses, enchantments and mist manipulation. Although, I’m better at light and sun magic than others because of Apollo’s blessing.

Prophet related powers

ᯓ꩜ My visions are the more typical occurrence, my visions essentially take up what I’m visibly seeing and they show me images of something thats going to happen in clips that can feel minutes long but really my visions dont last more than 8 seconds.

ᯓ꩜ My premonitions happen constantly, they work like basic gut feelings, but much more intense. I’ll usually get goosebumps and then a STRONG urge to do something that I usually can’t ignore.

ᯓ꩜ I get prophetic dreams that are rare, but when I do get them they essentially show me extremely important details on whats going to happen soon, though they usually don’t show the right order in which things go down.

ᯓ꩜ I get trances make me act like an oracle when I tell a prophecy. I go into a vague trance where I’m still in control of my body, but my voice changes to a deeper tone and I get the obligation to go tell whoever the prophecy is for, their prophecy. I can usually go a couple minutes ignoring it if I’m in a fight but the second I’m not in mortal danger, I have to go to the person the prophecy is for and tell it to them.

Family

ᯓ꩜ My dad’s name was Gene Willow, he was 41 and died when I was 11. He was a doctor.

ᯓ꩜ My older brother’s name is Tenko Willow, and he’s currently 19. He has custody of me, even though I live at camp most of the year. He still lives in California, in an apartment that he keeps a room for me in, despite me only living with him one month a year, and he goes to university to get his degree in coding.

Items

ᯓ꩜ My main weapons that I use are my rings. I have two rings that I keep on both my middle fingers, black and white with small gold details, my rings, much like percy’s sword, can transform. If I make specific hand motions, snapping my wrists in certain directions, my rings will transform. If I snap my wrists outwards, my rings will transform into dual blades. My swords are thin and gold, with one having a black and one having a white hilt. If I snap my wrists inwards, my rings will transform into twin daggers. They look the same as the swords, but have more detailing on the hilts.

ᯓ꩜ My other weapon that I primarily use is my bow, because of Apollo’s blessing I’m almost as good as his children at archery. My bow is golden with detailing all along the base.

ᯓ꩜ My satchel is the main bag I take with me when I go anywhere, it has an extending charm I put on it so I can fit 3 times the amount of stuff that I should be able to in it.

ᯓ꩜ I constantly wear two necklaces, my camp necklace and my pendant necklace. Both have a black leather string, my pendant one just has my birthstone on it, while my camp necklace has 6 beads on it for every year I’ve been at camp.

Extra

ᯓ꩜ I have my cat, Luna, who stays with me in my cabin. She’s a tortoiseshell cat and 2 years old. I got her as a kitten for my 11th birthday.

ᯓ꩜ Hobbies include cassette making, journaling, reading, and jewelry making.

📍2016-!!