#it's not 100% accurate to how my dream looked but I tried the best I could lol

[tiddie-taylor]

Decided to draw one of the moments from the io2 dream I had 🫶

[mlbigbang]

2023 Adrinette Fic Rec List

It’s the end of the year which means it’s finally time for the ML Big Bang’s yearly fic rec lists! We’re really excited to bring you our contributors’ favourite fics started this year to supply you with plenty of reading material while you’re waiting for the Big Bang fics’ publication in January.

Fate, Destiny... A Hamster by @mostmagical

After finally moving into his very first apartment per Ladybug’s suggestion, Adrien discovers something no movie or TV show could have ever prepared him for: someone else's hamster. Marinette was so excited to have her first pet. If only it would stop escaping! At least now there’s an excuse to talk to the new neighbor. (Adrinette Never Met AU)

This fic is peak adrinette identity shenanigans! Adrien and Marinette star as the next door neighbors losing and finding the titular hamster, falling in love, and avoiding an identity reveal like the plague.

If I Let Myself Love You by @uptoolateart

It’s hard to be a normal girl with a normal life when your mother has terminal cancer. And when fashion model Adrien Agreste moves back to Paris and wants to be Marinette’s friend – or maybe even more – her life is turned upside down again. How can she risk opening her heart to love when her whole world is falling apart? Especially when Adrien is hiding a dark secret of his own…. - COMPLETE FIC – updates on Sundays *** No kwamis AU - 100% Adrinette. About half of it is fluffy and half heavy. Please read tags for trigger warnings. ***

It is such an incredible balance of beautiful, heart-wrenching and funny! I adored the relationship between Adrien and Marinette, how it developed throughout, how natural it was, how they both helped each other through their grief. Just beautiful.

hearth by @asukiess

Because how do you describe a dream once you wake up, when it’s fleeting and slipping through the cracks in your mind like it’s a sieve? You can barely wrap your lips around the concepts and words before you realize it has slipped through like water, and what lay in your hands is just a pang in your chest? When every moment away from it clouds your mind just a little more, until the memories are threadbare? or: Adrien understands what it means to have a home.

call it even by @sha-nwa & @anna-scribbles

After a year of dating, there is one thing Marinette knows for certain: it's her and Adrien against the world. Through it all, Adrien is kind, patient, and endlessly understanding—even as she tries her best to keep her secret superhero identity hidden from him along with the rest of the world. Nothing could ruin it, not even the supervillains of Paris: Hawkmoth and Chat Noir. (adrinette dating // ladynoir enemies au)

A really well-written Adrienette fic featuring Ladynoir as enemies.

All the Missing Pieces by @uptoolateart

At 14, Adrien stepped into the time burrow and saw the truth no one could have guessed. When he came out, he was changed forever. And after defeating his father, he was finally free...or was he? At 37, Adrien has everything he ever dreamed of – married to Marinette, three kids, the hamster – but none of it has turned out as expected. Marinette’s career is such a success that she’s never home, Hugo is an angsty difficult teenager, and Adrien is still struggling with his secret identity as a sentimonster. And now, Lila Rossi is back after more than 20 years. But has time changed her? Or is she up to her old tricks?

It's my actual life (except I'm not good looking lol), and I vouch for how WILDLY accurate its treatment of the emotional issues of stay-at-home-dad stuff. I just cannot recommend highly enough how it handles jealousy, isolation, parenting struggles, etc. Not me in the comments every chapter telling the author how she got the feels so perfectly right.

If I Let Myself Love You by @uptoolateart

It’s hard to be a normal girl with a normal life when your mother has terminal cancer. And when fashion model Adrien Agreste moves back to Paris and wants to be Marinette’s friend – or maybe even more – her life is turned upside down again. How can she risk opening her heart to love when her whole world is falling apart? Especially when Adrien is hiding a dark secret of his own…

So absolutely sweet. So emotionally devastating. Gets meta by taking advantage of how AO3 works at one point. Next level in every way. I loved the developing Adrienette friendship. I loved Marinette and her father. I loved Marinette's feelings about her sick mother. Please everyone read this fic your face will melt with emotion, and you weren't really using your face, were you?

Our Tales are Endless (That's Why I Tell Them) by joonapeach

Marinette lives a simple life - one surrounded by pretty dresses, fresh macaroons, and the calming view of Paris. It's a life she thinks she has always fit in. And yet sometimes, when a certain boy comes by her shop with a flower and a new adventurous story, she can't help but wonder if there's something else she's missing.

you don't even know me at all (but i was made for loving you) by @ladyofthenoodle

They didn’t remember each other. The hospital told them there’d been an accident—brain damage—but Alya had told them the truth, later. Who’d they’d been to each other. What they’d given up, and why. But even with their memories of each other gone, Adrien and Marinette are still inextricably tied together—by law, by their social circles, and by their hearts. And in the apartment they share, there's only one bed.

If you like amnesia AUs, angst with a happy ending, married adrinette, and only one bed scenarios, you need to read this fic! It's beautifully bittersweet and will break your heart before putting it back together.

[xnchxntmxnt]

okay I've finally figured out the prompt situation 😅

congrats on 800 followers and here's to many more to come!!

for the event, could I get a drabble of diluc with the prompts …you realize that you long to see them again and “i’ve been afraid of changing because I’ve built my life around you" (landslide by fleetwood mac) ? diluc's pov if it's not too much to ask for?

congrats again 👍 you are so cool

ok jack. jack remember ily thank you for the notes (this broke my heart)

Coming Home

Character: Diluc Ragnvindr

Warnings: reverse hurt/comfort, a lot of diluc backstory that may not be 100% accurate but I'm p sure I got it

Notes: ok so. The “moment” hit already and he’s home yada yada yada im not following the prompt what else is new /hj I TRIED ok. not proofread I'm sorry

gn reader

reblogs > likes

send an ask to join my taglist

800 event (please join)

It was a long walk home. 

The time without you was terrifying. He insisted he needed time away, time to think—to be angry, to grieve, to process it all—without the fear of lashing out on you.��

His father passed due to the Fatui’s traps and Delusions and went on a rampage through the country. He couldn’t hold still, he couldn’t think, and you didn’t deserve to be around him and deal with the results of something that wasn’t your problem. 

Despite how much he still believed all that, he knew he couldn’t run forever. 

He hesitated for a long moment but decided to ring the doorbell. He rocked back and forth on his heels, waiting anxiously for the door to open. When it opened, he gave a small, awkward wave to Adelinde.

Her mouth opened slightly as she struggled to put the words together to speak. “Master Diluc—“

He shook his head. “Please, just….can I come in?”

She put on her best face, taking a moment to steady herself. “Of course. The winery will always have a place for you.”

He followed her a few feet in the doorway when he heard another voice from the top of the stairs. 

“Adelinde? Who is it?” you asked, followed by a quiet gasp. 

Diluc, using every ounce of strength he could muster in his mind, raised his head to look at you. He didn’t deserve to see you—he didn’t deserve you—but he had to know you were okay. 

The next thing he knew, you ran down the stairs to him and jumped into his arms. He tried to cover his groan of pain with a cough—he had more injuries than he thought, initially—but wrapped his arms tightly around you. You were here, in his arms again. It was everything he’d wished he could be selfish and have for years before he had you, and everything he’d dreamed about in the time he spent away. 

“Diluc,” you said in a hushed voice, pulling away enough to look at him. 

That look said everything. He knew he’d broken your trust, he knew you were upset. If you’d left on a rampage for several weeks to a foreign country and just left a note and occasionally sent letters home, he would be angry too. It wasn’t fair to you, and he knew that. 

“Go get a shower, darling. You smell like the woods.”

He smiled. Genuinely, actually smiled for the first time in ages. You always managed to pick him up whenever anything was wrong, usually with an ill-timed joke or comforting words. Usually both. He nodded and pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead. “Thank you,” he muttered, not entirely sure how much he was thanking you for. 

Later that evening, after a shower, a proper meal, and Adelinde insisting on helping bandage him up, he made his way to the bedroom you shared before he left. In the time he was still in Mondstadt, he didn’t have the heart to go through his father’s things in the master bedroom. 

He knocked quietly and entered, unsure if you were asleep. He knew it was late when he arrived home and even later now that he’d settled in. It was nice to wear the soft, clean clothes Adelinde prepared for him after nearly wrapping him head to toe in bandages. 

You were reading, simply lounging in bed. He stood by the door, tense and unsure of what was going to happen from here. He was home, you seemed happy to see him, but he knew you had to be upset. It was completely justified, he knew that it wasn’t fair for him to up and leave like that. 

“I-”

“Don’t,” you said softly, closing the book and setting it on the nightstand next to you. Your voice wasn’t cold or harsh by any means—you were calm. And when you looked at him, he only saw his beautiful lover that had always stood by him, no matter if he was in an argument with his immature brother or was injured fighting off hillychurls. Maybe this wouldn’t be much different. 

You held your arms out for him and he hesitated. Would you really want to hold him, after everything he did? Everything you didn’t even know he did? 

But your eyes silently pleaded with him, so he laid next to you. Immediately, he felt your arms gingerly around him, brushing over the bandages and minimal amount of bare skin between them. He melted into you, having kept himself from that kind of love for so long—he didn't realize how much he missed you until he was there with you again. 

Silently, the tears poured from his eyes. His breath shook and he buried his face in your shoulder. As gently as possible, he felt your hands brush through his slightly-damp hair, brushing pieces out of his face and running over his head soothingly. 

“It’s alright,” you mutter, kissing the top of his head. 

“It’s not,” he tries to argue, realizing very quickly how quickly the exhaustion was hitting him. “I’m–I’m so sorry—”

You hush him gently, tilting his head to look at you. “Diluc, we don’t have to talk tonight. You’re home, you’re safe. That’s all that matters to me—but you’re exhausted. I can see it in your eyes. We can talk tomorrow. For now, sleep. It’s late.”

He took a deep, shaky breath and nodded. “I love you,” he muttered. 

It took a long time for his mind to shut down. He couldn’t stop thinking—there was so much he felt like he had to explain. So much had happened, he’d missed so much since he was home. But he was home now, and he guessed that was the important part. After what felt like ages, he let himself relax against you and eventually fell asleep, enjoying the feeling of you running your hands through his hair. In a world where he now didn’t have anyone, and he didn’t know who he could or couldn’t trust, he knew he had you, at least in this moment. 

~~

Well, I’ve been afraid of changing

‘Cause I built my life around you

taglist

@grays321 @dear-koi @animated-moon @dilfzuku @falling4fandoms @sirimirihiro @momoewn @poeberlyavenue

[june-julie]

i request you write the wookiee bunks or zombie Benny fanfiction please

Bunks.

Zombie!Benny weir x fem!reader

— A/N; I’m so sorry I neglected this request for so long when it’s SO plotful!! My main reasoning was I tried to find the website where you can watch bunks in English but I didn’t find it however that will not stop me from writing my oneshot, it’s just who ever has understood the dialogue will know it’s not 100% accurate.

— summary: something horrible happened at your summer camp that somehow turned into something good.

From as far as you got to know about Benny weir before what had yet to happen you could tell he was a confident kind yet charming soul who volunteered on the summer camp job for an extra few bucks and hey no hate in game, you were actually quite happy seeing a friendly face around.

You didn’t have much friends other than Rory, but you did have your occasional encounters with Benny but still not enough that you two would consider each other friends. Just polite greetings.

So, from what you thought was gonna be an awkward and boring summer was ultimately brightened up a bit knowing he came, it surprised you he even got the job in the first place where you were so sure the substitute teacher was so determined to apply for help there and suddenly he for a sick day.

His loss your gain.

-

“Hey! Benny isn’t it? I didn’t think I’d see you here I thought your grandmother said you couldn’t come on the trip?”

Benny nodded having smiled back at you his rather charming smile once he was met with your familiar face. “That was before she knew there was money involved. Said I was applying for a job to help with my future college plans and bam! Benny boy is off the hook.”

“It isn’t entirely a lie tho, nice job.” You replied, “I hope to see you around more often. things are actually starting to look up now that I know your here.” You tilted your head to side as you confessed your true feelings about the matter.

“They are?” You nodded “mmhm, I was kinda bummed when you told me you couldn’t make it, glad things turned around tho.” You smiled pulling at your yet to be packed in backpack “well in that case I’m glad they did Y/N,” Benny chimed “after your finished with your stuff how about I show you around later?”

“I’d like that.” You replied happy you were making a new friend already first day of summer camp. with that his was back to finishing his job and you were back to smiling in thought,

You had always found Benny rather attractive though some may argue different, but you never really did anything about your silly little crush always saying there were more important things like your grades to keep on track than swooning over some Brunette Green eyed boy.

I guess what you didn’t know was he was gonna be a distraction for a long while from many of those things.

That was a 3 weeks ago.

-

Your favourite blonde haired best friend had offered you to sit around the campire with the rest of the gang that night but you had politely declined his offer, apparently they were all going around telling scary stories but you weren’t particularly feeling content enough to socialise some more after your social battery just about drained and you opted to just hitting the pillow instead, you heard the chatter and the music from a ukulele outside tho,

‘I bet they were having fun.. eh I’ll figure it out from Rory in the morning’ you figured.

It was around 6 o’clock in the morning when you woke again, obviously not voluntarily it was the abrutive banging on your cabin door that had did it for you, so groggily you shrugged on your shoes and whilst mentally cursing Rory for intrusively interrupting your dilfism dream you opened the door but not to be faced by Rory.

Oddly enough it was a sickly pale Benny weir. But what was he doing at your cabin door step this early?! And why was he sickly pale?

“Benny? Are you alright?” Was all you spoke out in concern through your groggy morning voice as you watched the boy struggle to form any coherent word at all never mind a sentence.

His hair was disheveled and his clothes were immensely dirty showing signs of struggle as you eyed his deathly pale complexion.

“M-mm I- I-“

you eyed Benny wearily as you saw him frustrated as he tried to fumble through his words at your door step, you had thought you were dreaming at this Rate and maybe this was all too early.

But that wasn’t the case as he desperately tried to figure out how to communicate what was wrong with him looking a little more frightened by the minute because what if his state is permanent, and you had no idea what happened at the camp fire last night

“What happened to you? Someone spike you or something ?” She said first, jokingly. This is usually where Benny would roll his eyes and blabber on before she could get a second word out. But he didn’t, Matter of fact he looked like he had no idea what she was talking about.

She got serious. “Come inside please sit down you uh… don’t look too well.”

Benny shook his head frantically as he fought back his impulsive urge to barge in and do something he would most definitely regret his mind is not in the right place. This was a mistake, it was wrong he shouldn’t have came to your door. He stumbled back and started to walk away

“Benny ? Where are you going!” You ran out from your cabins door as you eyed Benny running to the middle of the woods, is he out of his mind?! No way after that encounter were you gonna let him leave without a explanation.

Something had seriously gone wrong last night.

Unfortunately you didn’t find him immediately much to your dismay. “Y/N? what are you doing up so early? It’s not safe out here.” Said one of the workers to you confused which snapped you out of your worried trance “what are you talking about? it’s a summer camp of course it’s safe.” It was your turn to be confused as you looked her way. “last night?” She said as if it was obvious “ You weren’t here were you? One of our volunteers were murdered. there was this creepy asylum escapee who ran through here and Benny Weir had the bad luck of stumbling into him.”

“What are you saying? Do you know where he is now?” You asked “he’s uh,” she paused, almost preparing. “Y/N, we found him last night in the woods. We found him dead.” They had finally answered cautiously. But that’s not possible he was at your doorstep this morning. Did Rory do this to him?! But from as far as you knew about your best friend he wouldn’t hurt another person so it couldn’t have been. It couldn’t have been Rory’s friends Erica or Sarah either.

“Miss Y/N I’m gonna need you to go back to your cabin until further notice alright?” All you did was nod before heading back, why was no one getting sent home.

You couldn’t wrap your head around things were you hallucinating this morning? Or that whole conversation all together?

Opening the door to your cabin that was already unlocked, it was a stupid decision really even if they weren’t some kind of killer or (your own hunch) creature running about but desperate time came for desperate measure and when following a announced dead boy into the woods you don’t think of things like that.

You also wouldn’t think you’d find him inside your cabin fumbling through your stuff.

“Benny? Oh my god Benny!” You came over to him after finally closing your door, he turned to you frightened as if he didn’t know who you were as if he wasn’t banging down your door just an hour ago at 4 o’clock. So you walked gingerly slow near him as if he was a deer in head lights he stared at you with a look you couldn’t quite decipher.

Here you were trying not to scare off a dead guy in your cabin. Nice start to a Tuesday.

Then suddenly he went back to what he was doing and groaned angry with himself as he knocked over something and ultimately broke it. It’s like he didn’t know who you were or how to speak he just knew.. here. This place, Your cabin.

“I know you know somethings wrong Benny and I also know this is hard for anyone to hear but Benny… you died. I have no idea how you came back but you you’re back somehow! There was this murder who escaped and did horrible.. horrible things to you.”

As you went on to explain his current situation with tears brimming at your eyes he went into a frenzy like he definitely shouldn’t be here right now and he didn’t know how to act or why he was doing things at all but all he knew was he was aggressive, and your cabin had to show for it as he rushed to the bathroom before you could stop him.

“Benny what are you doing?” You asked Concerned and that’s when you rushed in right behind him, hearing him banging his head at the toilet seat frantically as he groaned. “BENNY! BENNY STOP!” You urged grabbing his head in your eyes and he did that confusing look again and he looked into your eyes like an innocent soul with those mesmerising Green eyes of his.

You grabbed a hand towel and was quick to dampen it at the new wound Benny had created and wiped away the blood as Benny winced at the touch and cold whilst eyeing the towel in both a confused and curious matter. You took the curtesy of wiping the wound that got him here in the first place as you lifted his bloodied up shirt revealing a nasty bite mark and slash, how vulgar.

He sat there absentmindedly as he looked daze yet kept his focus on you but not really paying attention. You wiped the bite where the chunk of skin and where the blade was slashed and lathered it with the only ointment your over cautious mother thankfully had made you bring.

You’d have to thank her later for that.

Once you were sure all blood was gone you put the stuff away. “Benny I’m just going to get you a clean shirt alright? “ you told the zombie boy in a clear tone so he’d understand, if he couldn’t speak you weren’t so sure he’d understand so you motioned to his shirt as he looked puzzled and then you walked away to get a shirt for him, Rory wasn’t in his cabin much but his stuff sure was! And by the looks of Benny he’d manage to squeeze into one of Rory’s T-Shirts.

Shortly enough you returned with a graphic tee nothing too special out of Rory’s pile so you know he won’t miss it gone but it’ll do Benny.

Thankfully Benny didn’t move from the position he was in when you returned. “Benny I’m gonna take off your bloodied shirt and change for a clean one okay?”

He grunts struggling with words, it’s like he has a hazy memory of what things are but he just needs help remembering things and you could tell, that’s where you’d come in to help of course.“

Raise your arms for me, love.” You showed with actions and a beat past he copied your motions, raising his own arms you gingerly removed his shirt and replaced it with the clean one.

Benny looked down at the new shirt he was now sporting and tugged at the fabric looking at you with a curved lip of what seemed like a ghost of a smile.

-

“Okay Benny I need to you to learn what you want to say when you need something alright?” It had been a few days since you took Benny in seeing he was at his most vunrable state, 2 other people fell the victims of whatever psycho killer turned Benny into whatever he was now but they didn’t have the same affect as Benny did.

Your roommate Rory has assumed it was because maybe he was a witch or something but you laughed at the idea, having said that he was a vampire so anything’s possible. Which was another problem you found a fix for,

Rory who was supposed your roommate in this cabin could definitely not find out about Benny yet when everyone was grieving the boy just days ago, and Rory was absolutely no good with secrets so you couldn’t tell him just yet so made up excuses.

So here you were now teaching Benny words yet again, he was getting better at showing his emotion and affection! A few times now he had hugged you randomly when you returned to the cabin in the afternoon.

You held up an image on your phone that had the word food underneath “so when you’re hungry I want you to say food? Can you say food?” You worded out ‘food’ clear and slow so he could get it, being patient with him.

“Fffff… oood.” He stuttered out but he said it nonethless, you grinned.

“Great Job! Okay now when you’re tired say this,” you scrolled to another image which underneath said bed.

“Can you say Bed?”

“B… b..” his brows furrowed in frustration and he groaned after a while of trying and went nowhere. “sss-stu-“

“No Benny you’re not stupid.” You placed a hand on his pale cheek as you gently positioned his head to meet your eyes instead of looking down in shame.

“You have all the memories of things in here I know you do, you just need someone help you remember them which is what I’m helping you with.” You smiled kindly to Benny who averting his gaze for a moment before looking back at you and holding up his hand,

This is something Benny had done to show affection lately you noticed. You laced your fingers with his as he watched your two interlaced hands “Y-yyy-y/n.. nnno more.”

“It’s okay you did such a good job.” You assured “you wanna know what I do when I’m frustrated?” Benny tilted his head.

You got up from your position on the bed as Benny watched you in Curiousity wondering what you were doing, you rummaged through your draw to pull out headphones and giddily went back into the same position.

“This is called music okay? You used to show me a bunch a songs before, but this one was your favourite.” You played said song on your iPod and watched Bennys face intently as the song played through the headphones.

Immediately Benny began looking around for the sound being played in his ears as he hummed, you stood up to clean to place as a smile tugged on your lips.

you bent down to retrieve your dirty clothes and place on your nightstand once folded so at least it wasn’t in the way Benny came behind you humming the rhythm of the song playing through the device. When suddenly he hugged you from behind,

Your smiled grew as your turned so you were facing his, brushing some stray brown hairs away from his face as you eyed his beautiful features Benny smiled. You pecked his nose and his smile grew along with his blush as he nuzzled his face into your shoulder in a shy manner which you found so cute.

You pulled his face away from your shoulder after a moment and shared a sweet kiss with him and pulled away to hug him further.

“Cc… c-cuddles, y/n.”

“Yeah okay Benny.”

OH MY GOD YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HAPPY I AM WITH THIS I MIGHT MAKE WAY MORE !! Again sorry it took so long but im so thankful you encouraged me to make this your love is very much appreciated @iloverosesforever but man did this take long. I hope you like it as much as I do after all this wait time my lovely ! <33

Taglist; @iloverosesforever @redc4ts

[gay-fordeath]

Gotta scream abt smth that happened this weekend and I do not think the tags will have enough space for this particular rant. I am yelling at myself here please just disregard.

I worked a play this weekend and while driving to the theater with my colleague and one of the actors we passed some kind of sign that had some art on it that I guessed was AI generated. May not have been but it had that look so I just made a passing comment abt it. It sparked a conversation about generative AI with the actor that has left such a bad taste in my mouth since then so we're just getting it out so I can stop stewing on it.

I expressed my dislike for generative AI and how harmful it is and how distasteful I find it and I said the classic, why should I bother to read something you couldn't be bothered to write as a way to summarize my feelings and the actor we were driving seemed to take offense to that.

He started this whole thing about what if he had this dream to make a cartoon or animation or whatever but he can't draw and it's late in his life, he's almost 40, he's not gonna take the 20yrs to learn to draw and animate especially because he can't just put his life on hold for it like he has to work and make money to survive he has no time, why do that when he could just have the ai generate it? So I explained that as a visual artist (drawing/painting) the act of creation is what makes art so wonderful and is the most enjoyable part of the process etc. We went back and forth like this a bit and I'm pretty bad with words when speaking or put on the spot so I wound up saying something that wasn't like 100% the most accurate way to express the sentiment - i said if you're not willing to put in the time and practice and effort necessary to learn a skill like art, you should just give up, why bother pursuing it at all?

Naturally that didn't go down too well, and I get it cause again that's not really the best wording for what I wanted to express. But he and my colleague went into this whole thing about like what an awful thing to say and would I say that to a child, how demoralizing and demotivating and crushing for that child and whatnot and i was like ok let me try that again. The sentiment here is that these things do take work and you've got to be willing to put that work in. If you're not, generative AI is not your only option. Why not make a collaborative project then, find artists and animators and whatnot and work together?

He made examples about music too and how he tried for years to learn guitar and just wasn't any good, couldn't do it etc and why not just use generative AI to create the music he hears in his head. To that I was like well for one we already have digital music programs that are not generative AI so just use those, you'll get a better result. And again, if not, just make it a collaborative effort?? Find some actual musicians and work with them??

At the end of the day the view I hold and tried to express in a few different ways is that art is about creation. And for some people yes the end result is the more important part to them as compared to someone like me, for whom the result is secondary to the joy of the process. But even then, maybe I'm wrong but I'm willing to bet part of what makes that end result so satisfying/important is the fact that they made it, themselves, with their own two hands - there's the pride of that end result being their work, their effort. His heels were pretty firmly dug in the soil of "if I don't have the time/desire/motivation/etc to pursue learning the thing by hand what's wrong with getting it done via generative AI, you're just gatekeeping at that point."

My friend tonight said that at that point you're just looking to make content without putting any real effort/work into it and I think that sums it up pretty well. The thing is while generative AI has other issues that make me dislike it such as environmental factors, etc, I also think it has its role as a tool to add to art - I can compare it to the idea of using practical effects on TV and film that are touched up with minimal CGI as opposed to doing the whole effect with CGI.

Maybe it is kinda gatekeeping art or whatever but like. To go back to a previous statement, not to be too harsh but: if you're not willing to put even a small amount of effort to learn an art, then as far as I'm concerned, you're not actually interested in pursuing the art. You just want to make content, quickly and easily, with no active role in the creation. Even commissioning an artist to work with you to create your vision is more effort than typing a prompt into the mediocrity machine. Commissioned work is more your work than anything you rip out of generative AI. And, as an artist, it just does not seem worth it. What is the point of art - any art - if not to be the one to create it, whether the process or the end result is more important to you?

We cut the convo off because we got a bit heated abt it, and my colleague was getting anxious. The funny thing is I didn't feel like I was arguing so much as passionately debating but there's something about that actor and how he carries himself and whatnot that just made it not sit well with me and now that my weekend is done and I can relax after the chaos it's coming back like fucking acid reflux. Sorry for this ridiculous long post that's just word-vomit on your feed.

[bluberimufim]

A short display of Portuguese Christmas sweets[1]

[1] I don't think "sweets" is the best translation but idk how else to say it, what I mean is "pastries and cakes", basically

Hello! This is very late (but tbh we eat the same stuff on Christmas and New Year's so ig I'm not that late)!!

I wanted to do this because it seems to kinda be in line with my Halloween folklore post and I want to share more stuff with you all! This one I know a little more about because I eat these things every year, but I promise I'll get back into folklore next because that's what interests me most. Please be aware that half of this is from my personal experience and may not be 100% accurate to most other people.

Bolo Rei (trans: King Cake)

image source: https://lmalimentar.pt/lojaLM/bolos-congelados/318-bolo-rei-cozido-1-kg.html

This is like, the cake people think of when they think of Christmas. It's some basic dough filled with nuts and sugared fruits. Then, it has more sugared fruit on top (I've tried to find exactly what fruit it is but every recipe just says "fruit" despite it always being very specific colours and the only place I could find that listed what it supposedly was said it was pumpkin and I don't believe it). This cake is inspired by the image of a jewel-incrusted crown and was created to honour the Three Magi. It's said that it was inspired by the French Galette de Rois but I've also seen people say it's similar to Italian Panettone.

Bolo Rainha (trans: Queen Cake)

image source: https://www.receitasdeculinaria.tv/receita-do-bolo-rainha/

For the cool kids who don't like the fruit part of Bolo Rei - this one is literally just nuts. This is also supposed to look like a crown but I can't find any source saying what it's supposed to represent, so I think it's just Bolo Rei 2.0. This one wasn't that big of a thing when I was a kid but it's gained a lot of traction in the last 10 or so years.

Pão de Ló (trans: literally "Bread of Ló" / "Ló's Bread", I'll explain in a bit)

There are two versions of this one but I'm gonna talk about dry Pão de Ló first.

image source: https://www.receitasdatiaceu.com/recipe/pao-de-lo-tradicional/

This is my personal favourite - literally my favourite cake of all time. I have never met someone who does not have this as their favourite Christmas food. This is a type of sponge cake you eat on both Christmas and Easter, although it seems it was originally just for Easter. This is one of those you absolutely can't make at home unless you're literally crazy because it needs to be baked in a clay mould with sheets of paper and I've heard it requires 24 eggs per cake (tbh seems unrealistic but Portuguese pastry is like 80% eggs so it's not that outlandish, and I'm inclined to believe it bc I've tried like 3 different home-made recipes with normal amounts of eggs and it never tasted right). The origin of the name is basically impossible to find because every source I see claims a different story, but "Ló" seems to be the name of its original creator. Also, this cake was brought to Japan during the Discovery Period and it's allegedly the origin of a Japanese sponge cake named Kasutera.

Pão de Ló de Ovar (trans: Pão de Ló from Ovar)

image source: https://iberismos.com/pao-lo-um-doce-com-muita-historia-iberica/?lang=pt-pt

Kinda like regular Pão de Ló but wet on the inside - the liquid-y part is egg. Its origins seem to be in conventual sweets (like, from a convent), which are known for using lots of eggs. But just like with its dry variant, there are a few different stories about it. Sometimes people argue about which variant is better, but it's really not that divisive. In fact, all the foods in this post often coexist at the Christmas table despite some being similar to each other.

Sonhos (trans: Dreams)

image source: https://claradesousa.pt/receita/sonhos-de-natal/

These are much simpler than the cakes. It's basically just fried dough topped with sugar (I've heard that Brazilians call them "chuvinha" aka "little rain" because of this, and I think that's kinda funny because most Portuguese sweets have sugar on top). This is kinda like a "base" because there are other sweets similar to it but with carrot or pumpkin on the inside, and I don't think there's much reason to get into them here - also I don't usually eat them. You can eat them dry or with syrup made with sugar, cinnamon and lemon/orange.

Rabanadas (no clue how to translate this bc google suggests "french toast" and I refuse to accept that)

image source: https://www.pingodoce.pt/receitas/rabanadas/

This is a simple yet effective classic. It was originally made to utilize stale bread people had lying around (I've seen sources suggest it's because bread is sacred to Jesus even if it's stale and so it's bad to waste it). It's made with bread, honey or sugar, milk, and cinnamon, although I've seen people replace the milk and honey with condensed milk. It has been recorded since the 16th century, when it was used partially for medicinal purposes to help people regain their strength, especially after giving birth (which... thematically appropriate but it still surprised me when I found out).

I hope you had fun looking at all this tasty food - because I certainly did and this is my blog.

[autisticbokutoenthusiast]

tracking nuthphop through music: ep 4 and 5

*warning that songs and timestamps may not be 100% accurate, i tried by best tho. also i tried to descirbe the emotions of some of the songs but im not great at naming emotions so sorry in advance*

Ep 4

first nuthphop scene where phop is streaming.

- (kenji-ooyy 2:00) at the beginning of ep 4 their first contact is nuth private messaging phop while he’s live, the music is digital and in my sleepy state i’ll describe it as uptempo rock guitars with a lil hip hop influence. it’s exciting and sits closer to dark than light.

-(couldnt find the track 2:50) we then change to just nuth and phop messaging and the music is this like quick pulsating suspense synth and kick drum that to me sounds a bit like a beating heart.

- (couldnt find the track 3:20) then it switches to a 4 on the floor disco edm type sound.

- (machine vs machine - dream cave 3:50) when nuths payment comes through we go to dark and heavy synth sounds to me it almost sounds like a battle scene.

- (inverted - hampus naeselius 5:03) when nuth gets blocked we go back to quick pulse beats that sound like it’s misc digital percussion with some haunting higher pitched synths pulsing in and out

Phop agreeing to film with nuth

- (32:23 drifting emotions howard harper-barnes) this song starts right after the keen and phop moment where they have to stop because keen refused to wear a condom, it plays during phops narration about sex work and ends when he checks a message from nuth [the "im so sad you blocked me" one]

- (34:26 ambivalent thoughts- magnus ringblom) their messaging convo is silent until nuth sends a deposit and phop starts seriously considering meeting up with him again. it’s a sentimental piano ballad.

Nuth on the phone with mystery guy (i suspect jason lee) aka my beloved invisible hand scene

- (couldn’t find the track 37:57) it’s silent as the camera zooms in on nuth looking at his bank account. then at his trophy/plaque. when he makes the decision to call to ask to sell drugs [for daddy jason lee??] again theirs a heartbeat like bass drum and various reverbed and echoy percussion sounds that come in and out

- (39:11 cry- johannes bornlôf) another sad piano song. this plays as nuth finishes the phone call. i think it’s interesting that we get sad piano ballads for the phop/nuthphop/nuth scenes because they don’t [typically] repeat songs despite choosing ones that sound very similar…

the filming

- (couldn’t find the track 48:22) phop arrives at the filming location to a hip hop drum beat.

- (colds- guß 48:50) this sorta upbeat while still being lowkey electro instrumental plays when nuth tells phop to relax and they begin to set up

- (49:25 feelin ma self- push n glide) during the test lines this more uptempo and confident beat plays, specifically when nuths camera changes from just filming phop to filming him is a sexual way? idk how i want to explain it but yeah the song changes when the camera nuth is holding changes the way it views phop. [sidenote hihats in this one lowkey hit, idk what the gun shot sounds doing here tho].

- (50:22 kenji- ooyy) then we have an upbeat synth and electric guitar based hip hop beat when nuth says he’ll start revealing the acts he wants phop to do and what he’ll pay for them. This is the same song they play during our very first nuthphop moment so its like full circle for them in terms of their journey this ep (i think this may represent the fact that they begin and end with nuth paying phop to perform on camera for him) [side note the beat drops when nuth says he’ll wear a condom]

- i will also mention a trap beat plays at the end of the ep but it plays over all the characters so i’m not really counting it as a nuthphop song

ep 5

nuth and phop are chilling high on the bacony with nuth teasing and recording phop.

- (30:35 kobicha- arden forest) a sad? low piano solo plays while nuth watches fondly as phop tries to lick his own elbow.

- (31:24 yoiyami- sayuri hayashi egnell) a different piano solo (brighter and a bit pluckier) plays as phop begins reading nuths new script. this song continues playing through the “people like us can’t make porn that gets seen as art or wins awards, ours only gets seen as obscene” scene. it stops when nuth starts looking sad and phop changes the subject to having to leave and go to work.

- (32:50 ambivalent thoughts- magnus ringblom) this is the song that played last ep when nuth asked phop to consider filming with him and sends a deposit. this starts playing as nuth carries phop out on his back and then as hes shaving him. it stops abruptly with a high pitched noise when phop refers to nuth as his client and nuth points out he can only pay with drugs and not cash. there’s not music playing as nuth asks phop not to leave him to go work.

- (34:15 scared of water - kikoru) this eerie string piece plays as nuth stares down at phop with the shaving blade in his hand, it continues throughout them kissing and the pan down to nants necklace on the floor

artsy nuthphop scene

- (45:40 yoiyami- sayuri hayashi egnell) [notice this played earlier] it begins during the convo where aob rejects puen and then carries into the scene where the camera is all shaky and nuth and phop are under a purplish spotlight in a room that is dark. as nuth says “im hallucinating i can hear his voice” phop suddenly appears next to him and says “im physically here” and the music stops abruptly. i will say because of where it played earlier in the ep this song feels like it represents nuths hopeless feelings.

- (46:49 i can’t find this song for shit yall im sorry like it’s making me insane i cannot find this fucking song) phop says “i miss you” and nuth says “me or the drugs?” when phop says “both” a new song starts and plays while they have sex it’s upbeat and with strings and digital percussion and have lyrics that give like love against the odds vibes or like love at the end of the world. this is while they have sex and theres also random shots of a field of grain? and cowboys hugging?

- (49:08 incomplete- gavin luke) after they wake up and are staring at eachother a new piano song plays it’s kinda sad not in a i’m sad way but in a feeling lowkey CALM calm is the word but also light

- (50:00 last level part 2- hey son) this song plays briefly when phop picks up and shows nuth the N necklace. and nuth has a flashback.

- (50:40 hope will prevail- ecobel) this piano part that leads into like edm ish lowkey beats plays when phop asks it he can keep the necklace to remind him of nuth. the beat drops when they kiss.

this was really interesting imo. like how in ep 4 they begin and end the ep with the same song, how when they're being honest about emotions and feelings they get piano ballads but they have different flavours, etc. im excited to do the next eps

ep 6

[archiveikemen]

'A Dangerous Gamble' Story Event: Chapter 1

Akihito's Route

I do not own any of the Ikemen Series content being uploaded on this blog, everything belongs to CYBIRD. Please support them by playing their games and buying stories. Not 100% accurate, expect mistakes.

read this before interacting with my posts

I made a trip to the Imperial Court to borrow a book from the Bureau of Herbal Medicine—.

Akihito: Sorry to have kept you waiting.

Yuno: No, I’ve just arrived myself.

I met Akihito who had some matters to attend to at the Imperial Court, and we were walking down the corridors on our way home together.

Akihito: You’re still as diligent as ever, Yuno.

Akihito smiled tenderly as he glanced at the book I had borrowed.

Yuno: There are still many things unknown to me… but your words have encouraged me to work harder.

Akihito: I’m pleased to hear that. But remember not to overwork yourself… alright?

(... Ah.)

Akihito walked by my side and held my hand in a comforting manner.

(Being doted on like this makes me always want to do my best.)

I nodded in response to Akihito’s words, but inwardly gave myself a wry smile at my contradictory thoughts.

Court Noble 1: I beg for your forgiveness! My sister is already engaged to someone.

Court Noble 2: Then all you have to do is win the bet, isn’t it?

From around the corner of the corridor, I happened to hear a rather suspicious sounding conversation.

Akihito: That person is…

The two court nobles seemed to be unaware that Akihito was looking at them.

Court Noble 2: You come from a family of a lower class than mine, and you dare refuse a bet I proposed?

Court Noble 2: It’s already very merciful of me to propose a bet, instead of forcefully taking your sister away.

The court noble of a higher rank scoffed and walked away.

Court Noble 1: Ugh…

The other court noble left behind looked visibly defeated.

(It seems that he was threatened or something like that…)

My eyes were fixed on the dejected court noble, feeling worried about him.

Akihito: Yuno.

Akihito gently stroked my head with his hand.

Akihito: If it’s worrying you this much, shall we go speak to him?

(Um.)

Before I could respond, Akihito took my hand and led me towards the court noble.

Standing before the court noble, Akihito smiled.

Akihito: That was quite the commotion, Tomoyuki.

Tomoyuki: Y-Your Majesty!?

Tomoyuki’s complexion became even paler.

Tomoyuki: Why would Your Majesty remember someone like me…

Akihito: You attained outstanding results at the Imperial University, and passed the Government Official Recruitment Examination.

Akihito: You work and study hard… ah, right.

Akihito: You’ve also attended my study sessions.

Tomoyuki: You even know that…

Akihito: I always remember young talents with great potential.

Tomoyuki: Lord Akihito…!

Somehow, it made me feel proud to see how moved Tomoyuki was.

(Although he’s a nobleman, Akihito sees people as who they are, without judging them by their lineage.)

Akihito: What happened just now?

When asked by Akihito, Tomoyuki spoke nervously.

Tomoyuki: The person I was talking to just now was Lord Masanari. He said that he wanted to take my sister to be his wife.

(What?)

Yuno: But your sister already has someone she wants to marry, right?

Tomoyuki: Yes, that’s right. Her marriage with the man of her dreams has already been arranged, they’re properly engaged as well.

Tomoyuki: That was why I tried to turn him down…

Akihito: But he proposed that the two of you make a bet?

Tomoyuki: Yes. A poetry competition is being held next week, where it will be decided whose poem is better—

At the poetry competition, the participants would present the poems they have written on tanzaku strips while keeping the identities of the poems’ authors hidden.

They would then vote to decide which poem is the most well-written.

Tomoyuki: If my poem gains more votes than Lord Masanari’s, he’ll give up on demanding for my sister’s hand in marriage.

Tomoyuki: But if his poem gains more votes than mine, he’ll take my sister as his wife by force.

(... That’s cruel.)

Yuno: Making use of a person for a bet…!

Akihito: And pressuring someone who isn't in the position to refuse…

Standing next to me, Akihito’s eyes narrowed and his gaze turned cold.

Akihito: To begin with, it was never in Tomoyuki’s power to decide his sister’s fate.

Akihito: Taking that factor into consideration, Masanari’s proposal for a bet is blatant harassment.

Tomoyuki: I see…

The way Tomoyuki’s shoulders dropped looked so pitiful.

(If only there was something I could do to help him.)

Akihito: Tomoyuki, are you good at writing poems?

Tomoyuki: I… I find that difficult to do… compared to my academics…

Akihito: That means this bet is quite a big challenge for you.

(This just got even more worrying…)

Tomoyuki: My sincerest apologies for disgracing Your Majesty's ears with my insignificant situation.

(Tomoyuki…)

Akihito: Do you want me to help you?

Tomoyuki: Huh?

Akihito wore an unreadable smile on his face.

Akihito: If you really want to, I can teach you how to win the bet and protect your sister.

(Oh, that's right! Akihito is highly skilled in poetry…)

(If he teaches Tomoyuki how to write poems, he just might stand a chance to win the bet.)

Tomoyuki: R-Really?

Akihito: Yes.

Tomoyuki: … But…

A shadow fell over Tomoyuki’s eyes that were sparkling and filled with hope.

Tomoyuki: I don’t have anything worthy enough to offer Your Majesty in return for the kindness…

Akihito: I want you to work on yourself, make advancements in your career, and assist me with governing this country.

Akihito: That is your price to pay.

Tomoyuki: …!

Akihito: And besides—

Akihito’s eyes met mine and his gaze softened.

Akihito: It seems that my dear Yuno feels sympathetic for you and your sister.

Yuno: Huh?

(M-Me?)

To my surprise, Akihito suddenly pulled me closer to him—

Akihito: I once made the decision to protect her kindness at all costs.

His words, said casually and filled with warmth, made my heart race.

(He pays attention to even the smallest of my emotions.)

(... You are the kind one, Akihito.)

[luminalunii97]

Can I be happy for 5 minutes without the regime's lobbyists fuckin it up?!!! apparently not! I watched the Time video yesterday and then went to Instagram to see a lot of posts like this. I realized I haven't read the article which unlike the video was filled with misinformation. Halfway through it takes a wild turn into lying. I knew I shouldn't have trusted Time. Seriously, you almost did it but then you didn't.

This is the nth time a misleading or misinformative article is published in western Media. This is how the regime manipulated west for so long. I remember years ago, when Iranian feminists tried to talk about all the sexist misogynistic ways of the islamic republic, people like Azadeh Moaveni were there to shut them up with sophistry and fallacy. Claiming wild lies like "it's our culture". Misogyny is no one's culture. It's a cancer. And when women try to fight it you should stand with them not against them.

This is Hoda Katebi, a NIAC member. She has posed as such a good poor Muslim woman of color in west for so long. No one dared to criticize her because they'd get an islamophobe label fast if they challenged her. Look how unashamedly she lies here. How she defends the mandatory hijab and undermine the violence Iranian women deal with everyday in Iran. She's wearing clothes that are NOT considered a proper hijab in Iran. Back then the hijab rule was if not more, as strict as today. You've seen Mahsa Amini clothes when she was arrested. Her style was more modest that what Hoda is wearing here and is claiming "not tempting for lashing". But even if she wasn't unabashedly lying, that's not the fucking point. If only a certain group of women are safe in Iran, aka hijabi women, it's discrimination and IT'S NOT OK.

People like Hoda and Azadeh have tried to show a mellow image of the regime for years in west. Showing pictures of women with loose hijab to west to say "see this is how women dress in Iran and no one bothers them". While in reality even if some women dressed like that, they were doing something illegal, and were in danger of getting arrested and punished. I hope you've seen the morality police brutality videos that ended up getting so out of hand it caused a young woman's death. In reality I had to check "Gershad" app on my phone everytime I wanted to leave my house even though my clothes have always been a lot more modest that what Hoda has shown in her pictures of Iran. (Gershad is an app that was developed by people for people. It's a map where you can report anywhere you see a morality police car so that others can avoid them. It wasn't always 100% accurate, but it helped!)

In another blood boiling bullshiting by her, she suggested the way to help iran is to disband sanctions and "don't worry because NIAC is on it"! Because that makes sense! How can we stop a regime that's murdering women and children and violates every human rights ever?! By giving them financial and political power!!!!! So that they can violate human rights better and with less worry!

Farnaz Fassihi is another NIAC member who tried to convince USA to lift the sanctions by writing that notoriously misleading "out of reach dreams" article in new york times. And I just realized her co-writer, Vivian Yee was the journalist who wrote the other misleading article about morality police getting abolished.

In case you don't know what NIAC is, it stands for National Iranian American Council. It's a council that unofficially aids the islamic republic regime to push their propaganda in USA and west. Their number one priority is to fight anything that could lead to a regime change. Therefore they try their best to convince west that Iranians are only protesting for reform. Meanwhile we're screaming revolution here.

NIAC influence needs to be restricted in US so that Iranian people and activists can raise their voices. But we've seen the opposite of that happening. They get invited to various interviews and conferences and they have journalists in famous publications like new york times. Please share the word to help stop their reign.

Ps, most iranians are pro sanctions at the moment at least because we're trying to break the regime financially, therefore the calls for national strikes. Anyone with a little common sense would understand that sanctions help the cause now. Other than that, sanctions sound sinister because they've made people poor. But almost all of them directly targets IRGC, the terrorist organization that kills people in iran and in middle east, while using their share of profits in almost every industry in Iran. They're killing people with rubble bullets! Do you think with lifting sanctions they'd use money, power and nuclear energy for humanitarian causes?!

[latoyalestrange]

IT'S NEVER OVER

Joel Miller x F!OC

Series

CHAPTER TWO — POSITIVE TO NEGATIVE

Summary: Twenty fucking years. It wasn’t that Joel had forgotten about her, but she definitely wasn’t at the forefront of his mind. But boy, seeing her sent him in a whirlwind of emotions. He prayed she didn’t know about what he had done, and that was a first for him.

Words: 2.3k

Warnings: swearing, violence, guns, 18+ minors dni

A/N: Tysm for the love on chapter one! Ya’ll know how to make me blush :,) PS i’m not entirely sure if these are the exact dates/events in the show, this is just how i remember it to the best of my ability. it still makes sense tho don’t worry it just might not be 100% accurate cause i’m lazy lol

AUGUST 27, 2023

Jessie didn’t know how long she was out for, all she knew was for a few moments of pure bliss, she forgot the hell she was in. Her vision was shrouded with a white canvas, she had no idea if her eyes were open or closed. The sounds around her were replaced with a deafening ring. The first thing that came to her mind was Ellie. Where was she? God, she had one fucking job.

Jessie felt bad for Ellie. The constant tests, and being chained up all the time; she understood why she was so reluctant to cooperate. That was her responsibility to fix. She was going to be Ellie’s companion throughout her journey to the Statehouse. Her experience with little sisters and being Marlene’s favorite made her qualified. The only thing in their way: is a battery. A battery they thought they could barter with Tyler to get. But it can’t be that simple in the apocalypse.

“Jessie! Jessie!” It was muffled and far away, but somewhere in the distance, someone was calling her.

“Wake up! We need to go!” She tried to move her body, but it was no use. It felt like trying to move in her dreams, her brain was sending all the right signals but her limbs just wouldn’t budge.

Then, a sharp sting sprouted on the side of her face. Her ears popped at the same time, reality beginning to set back in. Her eyes struggled to flutter open for a moment before finally succeeding to be met with a flustered Marlene. Her eyes widened, putting the last few events together in her mind.

“Did that motherfucker shoot me?” Marlene didn’t expect any less from her. Jessie’s hand instinctively shot down to touch the wet spot on her thigh. She inhaled sharply through her teeth when her fingertips made contact with the new hole in her body.

“Jessie, don’t touch it. They shot us all except for Ellie.” Relief washed over her instantly.

“Oh, thank god. Fuck…” However, she spoke too soon. After taking deep breaths and a few good looks at her surroundings, she realized Marlene had her hands up at a surrender. Her face had anxiety, fear, pain, and shock written all over it. Jessie quickly scanned the room to see Ellie in the same position, with a man and a woman pointing guns at all three of them.

She didn’t recognize the woman. Her hair showed her stress in greying strands and frayed ends. Her clothes looked fairly clean, a little dirty, but she looked freshly showered at the very least. The man…holy shit.

“Jessie?” She stared at him with wide eyes. She thought of about a million different things to say, but she couldn’t get her mouth to move for any one of them.

If she were honest, although it was twenty years ago, she never forgot his face, or his voice. Sometimes in the early hours of the morning, when she was still half asleep in her bed, she could hear him whispering in her ear. When she dreamed of any man, it was him. She could imagine how his hands felt against her so vividly. Maybe it was because he was the last person to touch her like that, or maybe because the memories she had with him were the last few good ones. She didn't know the answer, but she found comfort in all of this. Sometimes it was the only thing keeping her going. She'd been thinking about him more these past few days as the group gathered car parts. Cars always made her think of him.

Yet, he looked so different. So cold. Not at all how she remembered him. His rosy cheeks were now pale and sunken in, and his rich dark hair was turning grey. To anyone else it would be clear that he was too far gone, a survival machine. But something deep inside of her wanted to warm him up, to fill up his cup like she did so many times all those years ago. She could tell he was hurting, and it broke her heart. After all they had been through, even after all he had done, it still hurt her to see him this way. Twenty years later, Joel Miller was still her weakness.

“You know this fucking guy?” Marlene retorted, throwing an accusatory glance in her direction.

“You know her?” The armed woman followed, not taking her eyes off of any of her targets. A few beats pass before her responds.

“Hardly.” That's fucking rich. Never mind anything she thought before. Fuck him.

“He was just a creep that used to hit on me at the diner.” She threw a furious glance in his direction, which didn’t seem to faze him one bit.

“That guy tried to scam you too?” Tess asked with their rifles still pointed at them. Their hands had fallen now that the two had gave them an inch of trust.

“Yeah, clearly a bad battery,” Marlene hugged her side now, bringing Jessie’s attention to the growing spot of deep red on her shirt. “Listen, if a battery is what you’re after, I know where you can get one.” Joel and Tess were silent now, listening intently.

“If you do something for me.”

“No.” Joel answered immediately, causing Tess to jab him in the side with her closest elbow.

“What do you want?” She added. Jessie took the opportunity to look over at Ellie, seeing her slightly exhausted yet fearful expression. Ellie felt her gaze and met it, feeling a small amount of comfort as she smiled at the girl.

“Take my associate and the girl to the Museum outside of Boston QZ and my people will give you a battery.”

“No.” God, he was annoying.

“What’s so important about her?” Tess questioned as Joel pierced daggers through her skull with his eyes.

“I can take her.” Jessie protested now as she began to remove her jacket to use as a make-shift tourniquet.

“You can’t be serious.” Marlene jabbed back instantly. Jessie huffed in opposition before tying her flannel around her leg, bracing herself. Ellie let out an instinctive chuckle, receiving glares from the other three adults in the room.

“I don’t have time to explain, we’re both bleeding out for christ’s sake. All you need to know is it’s important.” Marlene was breathless now, the pain of her grazed wound getting to her.

“We get her to this Museum, and we get a battery and whatever supplies we want. I’ve seen what the fireflies have.” Jessie couldn’t help but laugh at his request. She quickly silenced when her eyes met Marlene’s. She wasn’t taken aback by the man’s inflated ego. She was tired, and Jessie saw her leader surrender.

“Are you really saying yes to these guys?” Normally she wouldn’t dare raise her voice at Marlene, let alone question her, but today she did. Marlene let her head fall back with defeat.

“I’m not really in a place to say no, Jessica.” She shook her head and bit her tongue. “Do you know where the Museum is?” The two nodded their heads.

“I was near it on a supply run a few months ago.” Joel answered. Now that they had come to an agreement, their guns slowly lowered, still wearily holding them at their sides.

“Good. Take them there. They’ll be out of your hair after that.” Tess and Joel take a moment to look at eachother, silently making a life-altering decision.

“Fine. But the minute they cause trouble, they're out." His voice was low, gravely, and serious. Jessie rolled her eyes. Talking about her like she wasn't in the room inched her closer to giving him a piece of her mind.

"Jessica is fine. And she'll watch out for the other one." It was Ellie's turn to show her protest by mocking Marlene under her breath. Jessie pretended not to notice to avoid reinforcing it and returned her gaze to her lap. Her flannel was bloodied now, but at least she wasn't going to die. Her thigh throbbed under the tightness of the tourniquet as she attempted to stand, putting the weight of her body on the brick wall behind her. She turned her head to keep everyone hidden from the pain that was clearly shown on it. Ellie walked briskly over to help her stand, but despite her efforts, Jessie refused any help.

"M'fine." She grumbled, stretching her body for the first time. It certainly couldn't have been long since she was knocked out, but it felt like years. She turned to see the two had finally lowered their weapons and were waiting impatiently for them.

"Play nice, okay?" Marlene pleaded lowly, this time directly to Jessie. "I don't know what your history is with him, but it can't fuck this up. Got it?" Jessie's head hung low as she nodded. Marlene wasn't scolding her yet, but pretty much everything Marlene said came off as a criticism or warning. Marlene made her feel like that eighteen-year-old girl again, helpless at the bottom of a very tall ladder to the top. Twenty years later she had found herself in the same damn place. Working for someone who works for someone, who works for someone, who works for someone, and so on. She stayed for her own survival just like before but in a much more literal sense this time. It was still worlds better than FEDRA, though. Chicken sandwiches instead of mystery jerky, and, not to mention, you had free will in the fireflies. If you wanted to leave, go. Joel and Tess, however, were risking their lives leaving the QZ every single time.

"Yeah. Got it." Jessie tried not to sound defeated in front of Ellie, but she wasn't sure if it worked. She couldn't even look Marlene in the eye.

"Okay. Ellie--"

"Yeah, yeah, shut my mouth, do whatever the adults say, and don't get bit. Got it." Marlene shook her head at the girl's attitude and turned to leave. Jessie met the girl's gaze, sharing a smile as she tried not to laugh.

"Take your time," Tess called to them sarcastically. Ellie gave her a disinterested look before joining them at the other end of the hall. Jessie followed, throwing her bag over her shoulder that was previously on the dusty floor. To say she was in pain was an understatement, but she wouldn't dare show it. The tourniquet would have to work until she could properly dress her wound but even that wouldn't stop her from limping slightly when she walked.

"Stay close," Joel instructed as he forced the rickety door open. It only took one order and Jessie was already sick of doing everything he said. His attitude, his demeanor, everything put off hard-ass energy. With the pair's flashlights as the only source of direction, Ellie and Jessie followed them through the narrow mess that was the abandoned building. They could practically feel the dust in the air as they inhaled. The floors creaked underneath them despite their efforts to remain quiet. They weaved through the maze of debris and the long-forgotten furniture that resided there when everything was normal. Sometimes Jessie found herself imagining the original decorations and layouts of rooms, but it was hardly possible here. Nothing looked like it belonged after who knows how many people picked through it.

Ellie held on to Jessie's backpack as they followed Joel for an extra sense of security. Once they had almost reached the exit, Ellie leaned in closer.

"How do you know that guy?" She tried whispering, but the other two could definitely hear her in the quiet of the structure.

"I already said, he was just a customer." Jessie silently prayed that she wouldn't have to constantly explain the complexity of their past to her or anyone. He was different now and he had made it abundantly clear that it didn't mean anything to him. That certainly wasn't the case for Jessie, but she wasn't going to admit it. Her reaction to seeing him was embarrassing enough as it was.

"Yeah, I heard you. I wanna know what actually happened." If Ellie had a favorite activity, it would be reading her joke book, but her second favorite activity was listening to Jessie's stories about the world before. Ellie longed to know what it was like to live in what were now practically ruins of ancient cities. Jessie happened to know exactly what it was like to grow up as a pre-breakout teenager, and she had endless stories. It was a match made in heaven.

"There are some things you don't need to know, kid," Jessie replied shortly. The girl frowned behind her, deciding to pry at a later date when Joel wasn't within earshot.

A long time ago, Jessie was a naive college student. She met someone, fell in love too fast, and fell too hard. What did she learn? Love didn't exist. All the men she had ever met had only wanted one thing. Joel Miller was no different. All the romantic gestures, gentle touches, and perfect words were just bait that lured her further and further into his trap. She didn't want love to be ruined for Ellie as it was for her. So, Jessie kept the memories close to her chest and tried not to think of him whispering sweet nothings in her ear every time he was close to her. She tried to keep the image of him, flowers in hand at her door, or on top of her in his bed from flooding her mind, but it was no use.

This journey had hardly begun and it was already proving to be agonizingly difficult. Little did they know, it was going to get much worse.

[bettsfic]

I'm really enjoying your craft essay commentary! I have to read more in 2023, too. If you have anything in mind, it would be cool if you posted the list so we could take a look and join you! (Or if anyone has recs?)

i honestly wish i was one of those people who could make a reading list and make my way through it, but since reading is my job, when i read for fun it has to be either 1) entertaining, and/or 2) enriching, and it's surprisingly rare how few books there are that seem to fit into either category. which has nothing to do with the books and everything to do with my weird personal tastes.

but! here's what i'm hoping to make my way through in the coming weeks.

novels/memoirs

return of the king (re-read) and maybe some other tolkien stuff (i went on a used book store spree recently)

in the dream house by carmen maria machado (a christmas gift from @significationary!)

furnace creek by joseph allen boone (just preordered it in paperback)

the last 3 books of the neapolitan quartet by elena ferrante (i already read my brilliant friend)

the last samurai by helen dewitt

the color of sin and father of lies by janet inglis (these were very hard to get my hands on; i don't think they're in print anymore)

the locked tomb series? at least, another attempt will be made. the first time i tried gideon the ninth, it uh. didn't seem like my thing. but enough people have rec'd it that i'll try hard to stick with it.

maybe i'll finally read mdzs

i'd also love to pick up some classics that i'd intended to read for my comps, or maybe take a crack at smiley's list of 100 novels

nonfiction

authoring autism (this is going to take me a while, because it's a little over my head and also a very emotional read for me)

both tin house writer's notebooks

13 ways of looking at the novel by smiley

anatomy of criticism by frye (i think)

mystery and manners by o'connor

my narratology and rhetoric books (there are 2 narratology books that are based entirely on foucault so i'm gonna have to read him too probably)

and i have a bunch of other craft books on my shelf, plus a lengthy craft book purchase list, which i'm not letting myself touch until i've made a dent in what i already have

what i would love more than anything is to find a book or fic i can't put down, that i read until five in the morning and then pick up again as soon as i wake up (entertainment). or i'd like to find a book that's maybe not super interesting on a conflict level but which is so beautifully or weirdly written that it either teaches me something new about writing, or does one thing so remarkably well i might want to teach it in a class one day (enrichment).

last year, the best thing i read was a 700k fic that's not even on ao3 anymore, that was both entertaining (so sickeningly dark, with such high stakes) and enriching (i learned a goddamn ton about scene-level pacing and honestly just what it means to stare the present moment in the eye? i still can't even articulate exactly how masterful it was on a scene level). i also read when meat loves salt by maria mccann, which should have been a slam dunk for me (gorgeously written, historically accurate, extremely fucky gay relationship), and i did really like it but i read it in fits and starts throughout the year because it couldn't seem to keep my attention for long.

i thought the problem was that i was poorly medicated so i couldn't focus on anything. but now i can focus on stuff and i'm still putting down most of the books i pick up out of sheer disinterest. so i'm hoping this year i can kind of target that problem and figure out what my deal is, or find a way to reliably find books i know i'll like.

i always appreciate recs of the "this is the most exceptional thing i've ever laid eyes on" variety, so if anyone's got any of those, i'd love to hear them.

[kimyoonmiauthor]

WIPs I'm working on.

Finally catching up by doing four books at once. Loosely they are with zero spoilers...

Regency Historical Romance Fiction with ND-coded main characters because the ND terms came later in history. It's Rom-comish with some geeky content. The ND is mostly on hyperfocus topics. Is it smutty? Yes. Iunno, I tried my best. I had to background the Diversity of others, but the diversity is 100% accurate and a way to push back on Julia Quinn's but then "I would have to explain why the diversity is there" statement. I haven't written white main characters in forever and a day. But I'm hoping the disability rep and ND rep won't alienate people to my writing. BTW, no magical cures of course are metted out. And maybe heavy political commentary on our current landscape.

Roughly, maybe 3-act, but also I borrowed heavily from Jane Austen and her contemporaries to shape the story structure because I read more than Jane Austen to pull it off.

BTW, to be sure is a quirk of Jane Austen, at least I found, at least when I did searches of her most well known phrases. That phrase isn't found in books by her contemporaries, and is less likely to even be found with men of her time period, which, BTW, matches the pattern in her books too. (She had girly language for her time period, that's why people later talked about how adverbs were evil.)

First book is completed, second book needs the last 4 chapters finished. Otherworld queer-friendly Polyamory default, East Asian-ish fantasy

I rewrote this one about 3-4 times already, but I had a rough outline and wrote the first few drafts out of order.

East Asian-ish here, BTW, isn't like OMG, I pulled kimono from Japan and then went off and pulled Lanzhou noodles from China and then I did kimchi from Korea. Instead, what I imagine it to be is if there was *another* country in East Asia and was influenced by those countries but built its own culture, what would it look like? To pull this off I did a TON of research into the complete history of Japan, Korea, China, Taiwan, Mongolia, etc in order to get the flavor of what is shared, not shared and pull carefully from that history. As I like to say, if you want pan-anything in your story, you need to do more research, not less. And I wanted it not to be only pan Asian, but also unique unto itself because WTF is that Anthro degree there for?

Main character couple are straight presenting, but they aren't straight. They mention it CONSTANTLY about how they aren't straight. Endlessly, it gets integrated hard into the story as minor plot points. I know how our culture would define it, but they don't quite define their queerness in the same way, because I wanted to fuck around with the European ideals of What is a Straight person™ and What is a Queer Person™ to show that gender and sexuality isn't defined the same way across time and space. So yeah, totally messed with and I'm very, very sure some straight people and some queer people might be like OMG, You can't do that you're messing things up. But chill, like it's fiction and you should think about that. Did I get rid of the patriarchy? Absolutely. 'cause fuck the patriarchy. And I don't want to do white feminism. And yes I wrote this before the Barbie movie came out. And I read enough theory to be able to pull it off.

The story covers theories of activism I've read from various authors over the years and I suppose on the surface it doesn't look that interesting until you get to the theory stuff and the plot kinda builds on itself. I used Dream Record+East Asian 4-Act (a mix between them). It's not beholden to conflict in order to drive the story forward, but conflict is there, its just not how the story moves.

Other World Pure Queer Joy with all of the rainbow in a non-European-eque setting Fantasy (Loose sequel to the previous one) Did I invent my own gender system which I'm not revealing to anyone prior to publication? Absolutely. It's not even in the first few chapters of the book, but trickled out. In fact two systems and a mention of 2 other systems. 'cause FUCK IT, I want to escape the European binary so badly and I put a ton of thought and research into how to do it. I read European stories that broke the binary for them, read East Asian stories fairytales and lit, read South Asian, read South East Asian, and generally mucked around.

The Setting is mainly East Asia-ish, but I also have mentions of African, Indigneous tip offs, and I'm trying very hard to figure out how to get a monsoon system going. If I could only figure out the amount of land mass needed which no geographers can tell me. I want it for two continents which I'm guessing has enough land mass...

And yes, the definition of what straight™ is 100% fucked with in the worldbuilding. 'cause why the fuck not. I'm kinda of sick of white queerness taking over queer spaces and THE conversation, so I kinda want to mess with the whole system because too many queer books still hold to the contemporary white European system instead of uprooting the entire thing.

There are white people, BTW, in the world building, but they are more nomadic and darker shades of white people due to the world building.

Since I wanted JOY in capitals, etc the conflict is downplayed a bit. It is reaaaallllyyy smutty though. LOL. But the first thing I axe is sex scenes when the story runs long.

Roughly 7 chapters to rewrite on the ~11th draft.

Contemporary Corporate Drama Romance (sorta comedy)

This one is smutty as hell and took me forever, I mean forever to get it to the last chapter. I'm not kidding. It was like pulling teeth on this one. I had to change names a few times, the venue a few times, the mechanics of the set up a few times, the timing of the set up a few times. I kept getting stuck over and over again. I changed the race of the characters, the sexualities, the disabilities, anything to get this damned story to work.

I was going to set it in college originally, but that didn't work and fizzled. *sighs*

For this one, I'm not kidding, I dumped the entire draft at least three times and rewrote it from scratch because it wasn't working out.

But the main characters are Latine and East Asian, het romance, one of them is a complicated version of bisexual. *grins* Because I can and I know it exists and people are being assholes about it, so if people are being assholes about it, I can at least highlight and counter some of the ideas about it.

I struggled with including and subtracting diversity in this one, but queerness made it, I don't think the characters are ND coded, but I'm open to people thinking they are. There is mention of composers and artists and how they were shitty people. So it does come off geekish, I suppose. Haha, when the author is ND, but the characters aren't can the characters escape the hyperfocus of the author? Probably not... ^^

Not quite sure of the story structure since it's not beholden to three-act, but it kinda, sorta seems a bit braided to me. Where separate strings come together.

So yeah, that's what I'm rushing to finish before the end of the year. I write interstitial. So Ummm... any agents ready for me to query about 6-8 books in succession?

Oh and I'm not sorry that I don't subscribe to the idea that only conflict is interesting and that's the only way to build tension nor that I truly despise the break up requirement of romance imposed on by the 1950's ideals. Fucking be adults argue and talk it out instead of adhering to unhealthy standards.

[phoebusapollogist]

((I couldn’t help it, I finally caved in to my brain rot. I’m making a fic about the life of the Cipher twins. So far the chapter ideas will be short tho, so we’ll see if they ever get any longer. I am also a very very rusty writer so bear with me. The titles are going to be v simple until my creativity comes back to me. That being said… let’s get to it))

—————

1 - Once Upon a Dream

———

In a flat world of flat minds in flat shapes, there were two newborns; triangular twins in different shades of orange.

The reddish one, a girl, was crying her heart out.

The boy, the yellowish one, was also teary eyed, but his eye was focused on something else. When he reached out with his little arms, it was not towards his mother, but towards the stars that no one else could see.

A mutation is a dangerous thing to have in Euclydia. Fortunately for Bill, his wasn’t obvious. Not at first.

‘He’s so creative.’ His parents thought, as they listened to him ramble.

Then there were the other kids. At best, they ignored him, at worst, they called him a freak for it.

But Escher? Escher was bright (they both were) and determined to comprehend the incomprehensible.

Scalene, her mother, noticed this first. It all dawned on her one day when she saw her daughter holding a book that should’ve been way beyond her level of understanding, and Bill was sitting next to her. Escher was describing the book to him, and although he looked really bored, he would occasionally glance at the pages if something interested him.

The book was about the history behind the founding of their town. When Scalene quizzed the twins on it, she was surprised to find that, although not 100% accurate, both Bill and Escher understood what they were reading.

She shared these concerns with her husband, Euclid. He laughed.

“Shouldn’t we should be proud?” He said.

Scalene frowned, “Not if-”

“Sweetie, if they’re so smart, they’ll know when enough is enough-”

“But!-”

“If not,” He said, holding both of her hands, “I’m sure we’ll be able to reel ‘em in. We won’t let them make the same mistake, okay?”

“Right. Right, of course.”

But to do so would betray who they are.

Even as Bill’s appointments with his eye doctor turned into sessions with a therapist, even after Escher was starting to get weird looks from both her peers and her teachers..

It was the night of their 13th birthday. They were laying down in Bill’s favorite spot to observe the stars.

“I found a new circle 3 days ago. I call it George!” He exclaimed, pointing to a planet. Despite his sister’s lack of 3D vision, she always tried to follow his gaze anyway. “Cause it’s exactly like that gross green hexagon!”

“Eugh.” Just imagining the thing her brother motioned to was enough for Escher’s eye to twitch. “Don’t taint the circle like that.”

“Hmm, yeah, yeah no you’re right. Then I shall call him, Superior George!”

Escher laughed. Bill was glad. She was so gloomy ever since one of their friends had to move back to the capital, and now here she was, giggling at all the stupid names he gave to the heavenly bodies.

A few more laughs later, Escher asked,

“Do you ever think your eye is a curse, Billy?”

Usually Bill was the one surprising his sister. Not today.“Whatever put that in your head, Ez?”

“Earlier, when you weren’t down for dinner yet, mom and dad were arguing about your medical bills again. And she.. called your eye a curse. Again.”

“Psh,” He rolled his eye, “Then stop making me go to the doctor! Duh! They’re the ones forcing me to.”

Escher was starting to get a little worried at his growing proficiency of pretending everything was okay.

“Well.. I just want you to know that I don’t.”

“‘I know Ez.”

“You better! Because I mean it. How could anything that lets you see so much beauty be a curse? Everyday I wake up wishing I could watch the stars with you.”

If this yellow triangle had a mouth he’d have the stupidest smile right about now. “Wouldn’t that mean mom and dad would have to spend twice as much?”

“Which gives them even more motivation to not take us to the doctor and leave us alone! Then we could be crazy together.”

“Hah! M’fraid we already are, sis.”

“Wouldn’t have it any other way big bro!”

“You promise?” Bill uncurls his smallest finger, offering the four-fingered version of a pinky promise.

Escher accepts. “I promise. From today until the end of time, I won’t stop until I find a way to see the stars. Then we’ll show them! All of them! We’ll show everyone how wrong they were.”

“And when you do,” her twin adds, “We can finally escape this stupid hellhole, together.”

“Together forever!”

…

[copingmechanismsao3]

Living to Spite Chapter 1

Summary:

I thought it would be funny to put my actual dnd character in as tav. She’s from a homebrew but has been adapted to bg3/ forgotten relms in a way that is not 100% accurate but in a way that appropriately creates as much chaos and angst as possible. Game mechanics vs actual dnd bs let’s goooooooo

Jane Doe arrived at Baldur's Gate roughly 8 months ago. After traveling for years, she decided to settle down in the coastal city. Her art career wasn’t going anywhere, but at least the occasional scam gig here and there kept her lifestyle afloat. All in all, a pretty good time.

Of course some bullshit like getting captured by mind flayers in a flying tentacle ship would happen.

Tav in this is a girl failure who tries to be a girlboss. College of Eloquence Bard. She sucks but we love her.

Here are some spoilers for vibes so you don’t waste your time:

Platonic relationship focus Tav will be "Tav" More focus on character interactions and moments than keeping up with silly things like… plot? Tav’s backstory does involve actual important people in the Forgotten Realms and I at the very least got a “not a mary sue” on a quotev quiz Cross uploaded to Ao3 Chapters: 1, 2

Chapter 1: The Death of Jane Doe

Jane Doe is an amalgamation of small, meaningless things that form a person: 

She has parents that she left in order to pursue her dreams of seeing the ocean.

She plays the violin but prefers her old father’s flute.

She ties her hair with her mother’s satin ribbon.

She has been trying out painting on the balcony of the room she is renting and is near constantly covered in stains.

She has other things about her but that’s what people remember.

That’s all they need to remember.

Today is like many days where Jane scrounges up money for her rent and cheap paints: performing by the market stalls.

Her morning begins with a meager breakfast of a singular slice of bread and honey before mentally preparing herself for the day ahead. She dons her bardic outfit much quicker than her make-up. After all, the way you look is most of the marketing for bards. She makes her face nearly unrecognizable to her natural state, so when people look at her they see a bright-eyed newcomer with big dreams. Those types of bards get more leeway with performing unoriginal songs or barely passable new compositions. 

With the final touch of tying up her long, mousy brown hair, she strides down the staircase of the modest boardhouse. In the common area, she spots Lacey Lovelorn, a fellow young 20-something human who lives a few doors down. 

“Good morning, Lacey,” Jane greets, giving a great big yawn right after.

“Good morning?” The girl responds from the couch, looking up from her current embroidery work. “How late did you stay up last night? It’s almost midday!”  

“Just working on a new piece,” Jane shrugs, “you know how it is.”

Lacey rolls her eyes at that, she had done the same several times stitching up this current handkerchief for her lover. Jane lets out another yawn as she scratches the back of her head where everything’s tied up, the ribbon coming loose.

“Well,” the embroideress huffs, “you best start your way to the market before someone else takes your good spot.”

“Shit,” Janes realizes before dashing out the door. Being in such a hurry, the loose ribbon finally became undone and fluttered to the floor.

“Hey!” Lacey yells out, but she’s too late- Jane was out of earshot. She sighs before picking up the ribbon, knowing that it’s the precious ribbon her housemates treasures. 

Jane stops running and begins to do more of a fast walk to the usual market street. Her usual spot is, of course, taken. It’s a good spot with some food stalls that gets plenty of foot traffic and an ample amount of shade, but no matter, she saw a decent substitute just last week. Putting a hat down for coin, she settles herself between a set of stalls further away than usual. Sandwiched between a florist and a rather obnoxious apple salesman, she begins to play on her violin. 

The spot is ass. There’s the sun beating down on her too-pale-for-this-far-south face, the apple stall is too loud for anyone to enjoy a tune, and it’s right across the fish stall which is assaulting her nostrils. 

But money is not why she’s here. It’s not why she took her sweet ass time. It’s not why she tied her ribbon looser than normal. It’s not why she’s smiling today.

No, she is here for entertainment.

Enter: Jord, a member of the Flaming Fist with a woman wrapped around his arm and her head resting on his bicep. 

Every ninth day, in the morning, Jord takes this belle down in the town to strut about and talk, then picks up a singular flower from this stall. The lady ponders over the flowers forever since she always wants to choose something different. They giggle together disgustingly and keep putting their hands all over each other like this is not a public space.

Today is a little different because Jane is here, with no ribbon. 

Just as the lady who’s name Jane doesn’t bother to remember picks out a tulip, a screech rings out. 

Enter: Lacey Lovelorn, who had been courted by Jord for a year. She lets go of the ribbon in shock before stomping over to a stammering Jord. 

“You bastard!” She shrieks, slapping him with the back of her hand. “After everything I’ve done for you!”

The lady he was with takes a step back. ‘They better not fight over him like in those plays,’ Jane thinks to herself, leaning against a stall pole and very much not playing an instrument. ‘It’s annoying when they do, but when they fight each other it can get funny.’

Jord quickly turns to the nameless one to explain, only to be slapped in the face again. 

‘Oh, so she didn’t know she was the other woman. Shit- now I owe Nym 50 gold.’

Lacey rushes to the fish stand to grab a sizable mackerel, reels back, smacks the man’s face. He stumbles to the ground as the two women begin to kick his torso without remorse. 

People had started to gather a while ago, but now there is a full audience witnessing these girls fight. Some are cheering them on, while some are for whatever reason sympathetic to the man’s plight yet stay watching. No one stops them, no one intervenes. Everyone here is like Jane deep down. No matter how much of a good person they think they are, they derive some sort of sick entertainment from watching others suffer. 

This was perfect for Jane. She had been having such a rough week lately between the audacious task of forging a painting of Lathander and keeping up the whole “clueless unseasoned bard from buttfuck nowhere” routine. The tussling of twits brings enough joy that it almost makes her forget the pain in her wrists from small strokes and mixing egg tempera for hours. 

However, a universal rule had become apparent that after many years, Lo- Jane’s joy must always be short lived.

The enamored public’s attention snaps to something else. Civilians run down the streets as buildings in the distance crumble to the ground. 

The bard wastes no time running. She doesn’t stop for anything, catching her breath or helping others. What point is there? They’re all running from something big. She doesn’t know what, turning around to look would waste precious momentum. Cheap leather boots do her no favor in escape, making helpless to a wet tentacle touching her back, blinking her into darkness.

___________

Time is meaningless in the dark void of the mind.

But the bard is sure she wasn’t out for that long when she opens her eyes to a… blue squid man scoop out something small from the center bowl.

‘What the actual he- wait that’s actually a pretty nice outfit- what the fuck is that????’

The bard’s eyes land on the green person in a pod… and she can’t really see what’s going on but the grunting and minor screaming is not a good sign.

Panic settles much more deeply as the creepy cephalopod approaches her. The go-to method of talking her way out falls flat. All she can manage to do is slur out a few sounds, her mouth not responding to whatever word her addled mind can scrounge up. 

‘Ew, why are the nails so long, what the hell is in their hand? FUCK FUCK FUCK WHY.’

The last thing she sees is a grub with teeth. --------------------------- Chapters: 1, 2

[teacherintransition]

Crisis of Confidence

Life lesson day 1: things rarely go as planned…Transitions in life are by their very nature CHANGE.

When obstacles come, keep driving forward, alter your path, but for god’s sake don’t ever, ever, ever go back!

“The best laid plans are …,” …100% reliable? …are easy to put together? …will often go sideways? …unnecessary? Which are most accurate? If you chose, “unnecessary,” go to the back of the line and cover yourself in bubble wrap… cause you’re gonna get beat the hell up by life. Bring Tylenol. The other answers are all possibilities with “total reliability” being possibly 0.0001% likely. Truly, how often do grand designs go off without a hitch? Not often, but there has to be a goal. I absolutely love the line from George Harrison’s song, Any Road, “But if you don't know where you're going

Any road will take you there!”* George was the man. You pick a road, but for damn sure you can expect bumps, potholes, detours and even a fender bender. The ticket is not to give up and turn back.

We made the decision to retire, I set my personal goals and we set goals for us, we envisioned where it would end up; and very little of what we’d planned turned out the way we saw things happening. Death and loss due to Covid…. nuff said. I never planned to write a book, we never planned to have to cancel travel plans, we never planned for the selling of the hospital where Kim worked for thirty three years to a soul crushing entity, we never imagined living in Alexandria, Louisiana or Granbury, Texas… but here the hell we are. Not what we expected, but we are still headed in the same general direction. The lives of our sons took extremely unplanned trajectories that affected our path and delayed some of our plans. Detours and delays have been in abundance, but the overall outcome is still doable.

This series of articles has always pushed encouraging words and a positive outlook during a period of major life transitions. It ain’t always easy… disappointments abound; and despite the freedom of the pressures of time philosophy I push, one is acutely aware that there’s more behind you than ahead of you. The diabolical “what if’s “ begin to surface: what if I don’t get this or that done? What if the place we go isn’t what you expected? What if time runs out? Heavy thoughts to ponder; and if disappointments occur with some regularity, any number of less than positive outcomes can occur. It can just seem easier to go with the flow of less resistance. In other words…compromise. During this period of life that was to be filled with calm, peace and dreams can often start to resemble the stressful struggles of the work world that you tried to leave.

My oldest son is a Marine and their famous motto, “ADAPT, IMPROVISE, OVERCOME,” has more depth that it might appear. I’ve had to adapt what end goals might look like in the end, but still recognize the spirit of what I wished to attain. Creative, quick thinking or improvising is essential. The free spirit mentality I try to promote when writing lends itself to goal improvisation. All sorts of metaphors come to mind and references to “Roads less traveled,” when finding confidence in an altered path and an open mind can reveal attainment of dreams that might go unnoticed. We’ve always wanted to live in a city and through Kim’s travel nursing job …we did! We have also wanted to live in the Hill Country, and now we are …temporarily. These were dreams that had been buried and forgotten; but zig was the path instead of zag, and we received a major surprise. Overcome: plain and simple, don’t let unwanted circumstances rob you of what you are wanting to do. Putting things off is ok, but giving up on them isn’t.

Nothing looks like you thought it would, but that doesn’t make it a failed attempt. The key is to not let struggles turn into stresses …this is your time. You should see the process as your adventure not the burdening obligations that retirement/transition was to free you from in this path. To paraphrase George’s earlier referred to song lyric; “If you know where you’re going, there’s not just one road to take you there!”

*Harrison, George; “Any Road;” Brainwashed; Parlophone, Dark Horse Label; 2003

[honey-coloured-passion]

dream smp high school au and what they'd teach:

i had to get it out of my system but i'm so happy with how these turned out

mr notfound: engineering (the engineering teacher never really teaches and kinda sits in his office but the entire school simps for him so there's always a teacher hanging with him. his curriculum is free form and an easy A but genuinely pretty damn fun)

mr. nap: gym (hes the nice gym teacher who says screw the pacer test and rope climbing and you guys just play basketball after running like 2 laps. he's super gullible and will let anyone sit out for any semblance of pain. that is until the film teacher comes into the gym, then he's a tryhard beating freshman up to make layups on lowered hoops)

mr. wastaken: physics (the coolest class that always does crazy expiriments with large falling objects and questionable usage of dry ice, people always think his experiments are fake but he'll be the first to give a class long lecture on why every single piece of his work is 100% accurate. there was this one incident when he used the engineering teacher to explain torque and it ended with mr. notfound being caught in his arms. there's pictures but he still denys it.)

mr. blade: advanced english lit (mr. blade has no time for freshmen and if he does like a frosh into his class they've gotta he the damn best. his class is based on old literature analysis and storytelling. his favorite unit being greek mythology. most of his assignments aren't just boring essays or stressful discussion. no one truly knows what mr. blades class is like until you've taken it, they're often heard chanting "blood for the blood god" before exams but the principal is yet to do anything about it.)

mr. awsamdude: comp sci/coding (sam is the teacher everyone adores, there's usually at least two people crying in his office before and after school but he always knows what will cheer them up! he tries to work closely with mr. notfound but he's busy with the physics prof so sam has gotten really close with his TA tubbo. they do all kinds of coding competitions and his class is known to be a safe haven for students of all kinds- "coding is for everyone!" he always chants)

ms. nihachu: art (known for the classroom with the best vibes niki insists on dropping the ms. and formalitys. she's the teacher with lofi playing and bean bags and couches in her beautifully decorated classroom. she has an open classroom meaning anyone can come in anytime and she is dedicated to making sure no one eats lunch alone. a couple times a year she goes on a huge rant about loving oneself and the value of not judging others, needless to say everyone adores her - especially the theatre kids as her class is constantly helping them with set design)

mr. soot: music/theatre (does he have a degree? unknown. does he teach anything besides music? couldnt tell ya. mr soot roams the halls during class hours that aren't his one choir period; popping into various classes to pretend to be a student or just all around goof off. his theatre program however, one of the best. he makes the most extravagant plays and musicals with barely any budget. after his show goes on he goes dark for like 2 weeks straight "recuperating" but no one questions because that kind of genius needs resting)

mr. frost: math (ant and red would TOTALLY teach math together and it would be so cute everyone would see them walk in and out of school together and ship them and their classroom would be a safe space for people to come out or even just hangout. ant would be a crazy good teacher who is understanding and not one of those asshole math teachers. he's the one everyone always wants to have haha)

mr. jacobs: film/freshman history (mr jacobs is the freshman heartthrob and senior best friend. he teaches film as history, film as lit, and frosh history - basically the easiest classes, but he makes them the most fun. in his lit classes they watch cartoons and search for literature similarities or historical evidence. in his history classes he goes on grand lectures often standing on tables to reenact his favorite history moments. occasionally he brings in his friends to re create a massive fight in front of all the history classes, it's scuffed but everyone always looks forward to them)

ms. puffy: head counselor (ms puffy is the sweetest soul and often is helping students with everything from their personal lives to college. she assigns the TA's and classrooms and works closely with mr minecraft to make the school as conducive of a learning environment as possible.)

mr. minecraft: the principal, the big man himself, mr fuckin minecraft. (he constantly looks sleep deprived and exhausted but he loves the students and teachers with his whole heart. he takes no shit from annoying parents or asshole students and is known to ban the entitled cruel students from all his favorite teachers classes, leaving them with the worst teachers. usually he can be found telling dream he can't have more money for explosives, begging wilbur to sleep and rest, and telling techno he's gonna have to teach a english 9 class eventually. that and dealing with his new TA's.)

our lovely teacher assistants:

ranboo: english TA (thought he was gonna get art with niki but puffy out him with the blade. originally he was terrified but he's growing on mr. blade with his deep analytical thoughts and similar dry humor. granted- he does have the most work of all the TA's because mr. blade makes him grade all the multiple choice tests, but he's really starting to love the english classroom.)

tubbo: comp sci TA (tubbo had been begging to be sam's TA since freshman year where he took almost all the coding classes in one year. plus, the computer science room is right next to the physics room in the science wing so he can pop over and see tommy all the time. tubbo and sam stay in the computer lab way later than philza should allow but they've made magnificent codes for the school. everytime tubbo points out he's graduating soon sam starts to tear up, but he knows tubbos gonna do big things, he's just gonna miss his goofy TA.)

tommy: physics TA (the pounding philza got on his office door when tommy didn't get wilbur was ground shaking. puffy and philza calmly explained that tommy has a knack for physics if he would just focus and genuinely learn from dream. "big D" as tommy calls him, wasnt jazzed either. their year as TA and teacher started rocky but dream would come to realize that tommy is more talented than he lets on and after speaking to wilbur and puffy he realized there was a damn good reason he was given tommy. he took it upon himself to turn tommy into the best student he could be. and tommy isn't one to back down from a fight. little did he know this year would be the best year yet.)

i'm so happy with this and i actually think i might expand it idkkkk :)))