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doctorstephenvincentstrange · 3 years ago

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Doctor Strange & Worth: MCU Meta

So this has sat unposted in my drafts for the longest time, but I’ve decided to dust her off and let her see the light of day, after all. These are just some of my thoughts regarding Stephen’s character development and journey in the Marvel Cinematic Universe film: his growth from someone who cannot see the true worth in himself or anybody else to someone whose eyes are opened to the beauty of everything. Not to mention how that eye-opening allows him to evolve from someone who cannot love to someone who loves fully and truly, and how Kaecilius plays a vital role in opening his eyes to the error of his ways.

Without further ado, let’s get into it!

Let’s start with the beginning of the movie.

Stephen flounces around the hospital like he owns the place and flexes his overbearing, boastful personality without a second thought. Like, most people have at least a smidgen of consideration for others and some degree of self-consciousness or ‘filter’ regarding how they treat others, but Stephen has zero. He talks down on staff members, orders people around like inferiors regardless of their status, and acts as though he is God almighty and the hospital would go to the dogs without him, overestimating his self importance. He legit acted like an overgrown child that’s yet to be struck with the reality everything is not about him. Stephen seizes every possible opportunity to show off even when inappropriate, and does all he can to assert his correctness and prioritizes it. It’s clear from the get-go that Stephen has some kind of overinflated sense of self.

All this would certainly seem to indicate beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is a generic arrogant, selfish bastard 101, but let’s skip ahead a bit, just for a sec.

This line isn’t him joking around, rather, it’s the confirmation that Stephen truly thought his own behavior was endearing. As much as he liked himself, he was convinced everybody else did, too. He genuinely, sincerely was convinced that his antics were somehow winsome and charming. And of course, having been in a position of power as a Chief Surgeon and his state of world renown, there’s no way anybody would have told him otherwise. Nobody would really be frank and honest with him — I mean, yeah, sure, Christine was, but seeing as she was the only one he was on friendly terms with who he held in high regard and was frank with him (exclude Nick, and all probable others Stephen smugly thought very little of, and their opinions), there’s no way he’d take one person’s word over that of the masses. And it’s just obvious how overcrowded he was with sycophants that overfed his deluded ego and made it harder for him to wake up to his own self deception revolving the ‘charm’ he was convinced that he possessed.

Just look at the way he hits on her! Look at the denial! We did too have fun!

You know how people say “the bigger they are, the harder they fall?”

Yeah, this story really does live up to that.

The lie Stephen was living was cut short when he lost it all and his fall from grace leaves him at the mercy of people’s honesty. All those “people skills” he thought he had do him no favors, and suddenly anybody and everybody can speak freely to him, and he’s not getting sugarcoated responses. He’s no longer treating people as his inferiors however he pleases without lash back.

And Stephen, who only knows his worth through the reception and acknowledgement of his talent and the amazing feats he had achieved with his hands in the neurological field, now feels the weight of worthlessness crushing down upon him. There are no more CCN interviews, no more speaking engagements. In his own mind, he is useless. And without any worth, there is no reason anyone would want anything to do with him. He cannot accept, within his narrow mindset, that anybody could ever love him in this reduced state. For that reason, he insists that Christine Palmer — that unlike TV reporters or other sycophants, has stayed by his side all this time — must only linger beside him for her own self gain and reputation. It must simply be an act of pity, because that’s how Stephen sees Christine’s acts of selflessness and her work— nothing but her looking down on other people to boost her own sense of self, as he has.

And when Stephen goes to Karmar-Taj, he’s completely out of his element and in a setting that is absolutely foreign to him, but navigates all the same, the only way that he knows how to. His thoughtless, proud tendency to view all else as beneath him really comes back to haunt him when it threatens to close the door to magic — and miraculous change and healing for him — forever.

By the time Stephen realizes he has misjudged the Ancient One and Kamar-Taj, and that magic is indeed very real and potentially his one last shot at reobtaining his former life, it is too late. He beseeches the Ancient One to teach him the ways of magic, but she has already seen enough of his arrogance to determine him an ill fit for a pupil..

In the end, it is because of Mordo convincing the Ancient One that even a man such as Strange still has worth and he may be of use in the future, reasserting their beliefs that all life has value, no matter how misguided it may be, it need only be redirected and put on the correct path... does the Ancient One agree and allow Strange to return, for a chance at redemption and potentially salvation.

And so, Stephen begins studying magic. And unsurprisingly, being wrong about magic isn’t enough to hamper his antics. He’s the same old Strange.

In this scene, Wong tells Stephen when he’s not ready to learn something yet, but Stephen completely challenges and opposes him, going so far as to break the rules of the library Wong protects just so he can continue with his self advancement and conquest towards superiority (and hopefully, healing). He challenges his lessons, preferring to teach himself and refusing to acknowledge that even his teachers could possibly have any superiority to his abilities.

And it’s so hard for Stephen to make sense of, the backlash he receives for these behaviors. He can’t understand how he’s apparently ‘made for the mystic arts’ but is also being told to mind his pace and take everything bit by bit, step by step and not just rush headlong in impatiently as he always has. In his own mind, he’s not doing anything wrong by breaking rules or pushing limits — it’s all about the results, after all. And this, this is for the most important result of them all... his hands. It doesn’t matter how dirty they have to get, he wants to fix them.

In the medical world, when Stephen showed off, people clapped & praised him because what harm could there be in pushing the limits and crossing the boundaries to save someone’s life? It was okay if he wanted to do something unconventional and risky (like remove a bullet from someone’s brain without a visual) because the ends justified the means, and he always delivered. It didn’t matter what he had to do or how ruthless he was, treating all around him as mere tools at his disposal to achieve what he wanted, without considering what might be at stake. Boundaries were never of the essence to Stephen.

But when he pushes the boundaries of magic and tries out the Ancient One’s Private Collection just to pursue greatness and feed his own ambition, he gets retaliation from both Wong and Mordo and is reprimanded about all the consequences he didn’t think of and other lives he wasn’t considering as he never has been before. And Stephen can barely collect himself and for the first time in the film, is speechless and out of witty remarks to snap. He is just so put off because he’s never been put in that position before, being held accountable for the liabilities of his pursuits for greatness. Simply put, he had never been made to consider the eggs he was breaking to get his omelet, and now, he is.

And he still doesn’t get it. “They really should put the warnings before the spell,” he says, because clearly it’s not his hastiness or ambition at fault, but the book.

And he doesn’t get it, and he most likely would have never gotten it or opened up to the Ancient One, Wong, Mordo, or even Christine. No, he had to see it for himself. And see it, he does; in fact, it ends up staring him straight in the face.

They didn't spend so much screen time drawing parallels between these two over and over for no reason, this was what it was all building up to. Here, Doctor Strange meets his ego’s match. Kaecilius wants to save the world by granting everyone eternal life, preventing all its inhabitants from feeling suffering ever again. A bit like "doing work that will save thousands for years to come," no?

The influence and efforts of others finally pay off as Stephen begins to apply their thinking, and questions what the cost will be if Kaecilius does that for the whole world, and if that accomplishment would really be as amazing as doing what he can in the immediate moment to spare the/ benefit the lives of individual people... kind of like “saving one drunk idiot with a gun,” right?. And Kaecilius dismisses Strange's interjections, repeats the same words he said to the Ancient one in the beginning... they’re just insignificant specks in an indifferent universe, just sacrifices that must be had to achieve what must be done. He even tries to reason with Strange, and appeal to the very reason he’s in that mess in the first place... his hands, and his deep desire to have them healed and restored.

And for the first time Stephen is looking the devil in the eye, and sees himself.

“Just look at your face!” And in that moment, Stephen rejects the man he has been, and can see clearly his flaws for what they are. His ego trip may have blinded him, but in that moment, he got on his own level and saw himself for the first time the way that others saw him, and it wasn’t someone he wanted to be and he recognized the wrongs of his ways. How ambition and the conquest for betterment can consume someone completely, until they’re so blinded in their pursuit for self worth, that they disregard the worth of all the other lives and people around them — it’s all ends that justify the means. It's not actually about doing what's right. It's about accomplishing the greatest feat possible for oneself — this is Kaecellius' ego unleashed, not a sincere quest for world salvation.

And everything bad he didn’t want to become that he saw in Kaecellius, gives way for new direction in all the inspiring goodness he sees in the Ancient One, her final farewell, and her sacrifice of her life to save his and Mordo’s own.

And in the end, Stephen finally understands what the Ancient One, Wong, and Mordo, and Christine were all on about. It’s not about what change you can create for other people to benefit yourself, Stephen; it's about the change YOU can make to benefit other people, who are so many in number and so much larger than yourself. It’s not about the strength in your hands, and what they can do; but the resolve of your heart, and the strength of your will.

And he learns, because the Ancient One teaches him...

He uses his own lifeforce to fence off Dormamu from earth, because even if he suffers, everyone else will be safe. He tests the worth that the Ancient One claimed she always saw in him; that could achieve things greater than he ever dreamed, greater than his medical ambitions. The goal-oriented, ruthless man we saw in the beginning becomes someone who learns true purpose and ambition. His life that was hollow and empty, becomes truly fulfilling.

And the most intriguing piece of irony of them all?

After exhausting countless resources, plenty of doctors, libraries, and research archives seeking a way to heal his own hands, he found nothing but failure. But using only his own willpower, he who felt helpless and powerless against his disabled hands, managed to save the entire planet and all those living within it.

Because it wasn't his hands that gave him value, nor was it his work. There was something greater, but he was blind to it in himself, and everybody else, seeing all based on what they could accomplish — their educational background, their medical accomplishments — a worth greater than him, in the world all around him that he always disregarded and failed to see. Something beautiful, precious.

And parallel to earlier events, when Stephen once again pushes the boundaries of magic, but this time, not in pursuit of greatness of for the betterment of his own hands... he is not received with a vocal reprimandation. On the other hand...

And here we are, at the end.

Stephen says it again. “You know, you really should read everything, because the warnings come at the beginning of the books.” He pokes fun at Kaecilius, at himself, at their likeness with a humility unlike yet before.

And Wong laughs. When Stephen went through so many different things trying to make Wong laugh — like he always had his other co-workers— he didn’t.

But when he put himself and his heart into it, he did.

And no longer is Stephen on the same path as Kaecilius, surrounded by subservient followers, who only did as he told them because of what he was after and the results he promised to be able to deliver on. Now, he surrounds himself with those who genuinely care for him for who he is. No longer is Stephen so blinded by his need to be the greatest person in the room, that he can't see the worth of those around him — of love, of friendship, of companionship.

#Doctor Strange #Stephen Strange #Marvel Meta #Marvel #This is the longest (and maybe only idk) meta I will write bc this movie makes me feel so much #that laugh in the end always makes me cry #Hope you like it <3

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oneboxofmatches · 3 years ago

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Hey there! I was wondering if I could get a matchup for mcu and both eras of Harry Potter? I'm a straight female so I'd prefer a male please!

Physical description - I'm 5'9 and I have long wavy dark brown hair and brown eyes. I have a fair skin tone, I'm slim and I've got full lips, slight dark circles under my eyes which make my eyes look slightly bigger than they are and I have a dimple on my right cheek. I've got broad shoulders and I dress mostly in relaxed suits, blazers and coats! I also love the occasional dress or sweaters layered over a white button down.

Personality description - It takes me a while to feel comfortable around new people but once I do, I get really talkative and outgoing. I'm the therapist friend and I love helping people out! People come to me to vent or for advice and comfort. I'm smart and ambitious, I love being the best at everything I do. I'm also a hopeless romantic and I love being in love! I can be quite dramatic and stubborn and I tend to be withdrawn at times. I get frustrated easily and I'm competitive.

Placements- I'm a ravenclaw, my mbti is infp and my enneagram is 4w3

Likes - I adore adventures, witty and playful banter, mischief, joking around and having indepth discussions on different topics. I daydream quite a bit and I can get lost in my own world for hours.

Hobbies - I love reading, my favorite genres are fantasy and poetry. I also love learning about new things and collecting knowledge! I'm very interested in psychology, history, mythology and folklore, and fashion. I adore all forms of art. I like cooking and baking very much and I also find cleaning up very relaxing.

What I look for in a partner - A sense of belonging and being loved first and foremost, I've always craved that. I'd love someone who is intelligent, intriguing and exciting, someone who makes me feel alive? I'd like loads of fun, humor, banter coupled with times of sincere intensity, passion and understanding! I'd also like to be able to talk and discuss different things, silly or serious

What I look for in a friend - Nothing very specific, some common interests between us, someone who loves having fun and is humorous, loyal and supportive.

Thank you very much!! I hope you have a wonderful day ❤️

Thank you so much for requesting! I'm sorry it's taken this long -- college just started up and it's been a beautiful mess haha.

Regardless, I hope you enjoy!

WAITLIST

--Marvel Cinematic Universe--

I romantically pair you with…

THOR ODINSON

There’s adventure after adventure in this relationship, and neither of you gets tired of it!

Thor has always been drawn to outgoing individuals, so seeing that side of you come to light once you warmed up to him had him smiling immediately and wanting to know more about you.

A big part of Thor’s identity is helping people, so you could say he values it. Seeing you do that in your day-to-day life convinces him you’re basically the best human alive (and yes, he tells you this many times).

Thor was raised in a place where chivalry wasn’t quite dead, so expect many of your outings as a couple to have some sort of romantic flair (he may not have been the most skilled in courtship, but his enthusiasm more than makes up for it, trust me).

One of your favorite topics to discuss together is mythology, and not just Norse. Thor himself always found interest in the tales he learned from other cultures, so exchanging interesting stories you’ve both heard and researched is an ongoing hobby within your relationship.

While your relationship is undoubtedly fun and exciting, Thor also knows when to dial it back a little for more serious moments. He’s one of the best when it comes to finding that balance between silly and sincere, so you don’t ever have to worry about only getting one or the other.

Overall, Thor adores you, and the conversations (of all moods and topics!) that you two share is what really defines this relationship.

As a friend, I think you’d best be matched with…

PIETRO MAXIMOFF

The banter? The adventure? The mischief? This friendship has it all.

A good majority of your conversations involve poking fun at one another. You both love to play up the banter, so it’s nearly impossible to go a day without it.

Pietro loves your competitiveness, ambition, and sense of adventure. In his eyes, these traits make you far more interesting than most of the people he knows. You return the favor, often thanking him for “actually being one of the fun people in this world.”

With a sister who’s known to be a little withdrawn at times, Pietro is actually the perfect friend to have when you feel similarly or even when you’re lost in your thoughts. His brotherly instinct makes him much more patient than you would initially think, and you basically end up becoming like a second sister to him.

Though it took some getting used to on your end, you both love messing around with his super-speed -- you can bet that he’ll carry you whenever you want. The adrenaline alone is enough to give you the heart-racing sensation you crave, and by the end of it you’re both a laughing mess.

Overall, you and Pietro can easily tease each other all day, but don’t ever forget about the endless support that comes out of this friendship too.

--Harry Potter--

In the Golden Trio era, I ship you with…

GEORGE WEASLEY

As talkative as George can be himself, he still doesn’t match up to the blabbing that Fred does. So while he’s definitely able to keep up with your chatty and outgoing nature, he appreciates that you can sometimes take the lead when you’re talking to others.

George is a sucker for anyone who’s a good person doing good things. Seeing you constantly help people out with a smile on your face the whole time puts him in a cheery mood, and he never hesitates to compliment you on putting forth some goodness in the world.

Knowing how much you appreciate the romanticism that comes with being in a relationship, George definitely knows how to go out of his way to do some grand act of love that will always leave you giggling. Just don’t be surprised when he insists you have to sneak out past curfew to see it.

As someone with a rather stubborn and dramatic twin, George knows all the tips and tricks to play off these traits of yours and get you back into a better mood before you have enough time to even think about what’s wrong.

While there’s plenty of witty banter to be found, you and George are also capable of talking about anything for hours. You’ll often start at one topic, and by the time you’ve reached the end of an endless stream of chatter, you’ve touched upon more areas of thought than you could count.

Overall, George is the epitome of the intelligence, intrigue, and excitement you’re looking for, but don’t for a second discount the unhidden passion and loyalty he proudly displays in your relationship.

As a friend, I think you’d best be matched with…

FRED WEASLEY

I mean, are we surprised?

While George has taken on the role of standing at his twin’s side in every situation, Fred is usually the one getting them into each situation in the first place. Let’s be honest, you’re probably his second-best scheming partner (after the aforementioned George, of course!!).

You and Fred bring out the most energetic personalities that either of you has to offer. The ambition to do anything is unmatched when you two are together -- and the possibilities are endless!

What’s also unmatched in the banter. It never ends. Never.

While you love having each other as friends, the competitiveness in both of you often makes an appearance. Be prepared for simple tasks to all of a sudden turn into serious competitions that have the power to intimidate anyone in the area.

While it’s admittedly mostly fun and games when it comes to your friendship, Fred will be the first to stand up for you if the need arises. No one messes with his friends. In fact, expect whoever dared to cross you to be suspiciously itchy for the next week, and that's getting off lightly.

Overall, the wit and adventurous spirit shared by you and Fred makes the world a much more mischievous place.

In the Marauders era, I romantically pair you with…

SIRIUS BLACK

This relationship can best be described as a whirlwind romance.

You and Sirius take the term “partners in crime” to a whole new level of mischief. It’s always in good fun, but there’s no stopping you two when you get an idea -- Sirius and you are the most prone to sneaking out at night just for the sake of sneaking out.

And you can bet all this adventure only brings the two of you even closer. Sharing a good laugh is the fastest way to grow fonder of each other.

Sirius is quite stubborn himself, but he manages to tone it down when he realizes you’re in this mindset as well. His pride yells at him for it, but he’s willing to put aside his pettiness to address whatever it is that got you to where you were in the first place.

If it isn’t too much, though, expect a lot of teasing from Sirius’s end for his own amusement. He won't push you past your limits, but that won’t stop him from finding those limits in the first place.

Sirius hasn’t always had the sense of belonging he found at Hogwarts, so you can bet he’ll be the one to provide that for you from day one. Sure, your banter sparked a connection immediately, but it’s the passion both of you bring to the relationship that makes it a lasting one.

Overall, your lighthearted approaches to life combined with the dedication you’re both willing to undertake for your relationship makes the bond you have with Sirius one of a kind.

As a friend, I think you’d best be matched with…

JAMES POTTER

Hey, someone needs to keep James’s pride in check, and you’re the perfect candidate!

You two will often exchange fast quips at each other as you pass in the corridors, though the real fun begins when you get to sit at a table together. You both always try to one-up each other, though it’s only because you’re so close that this even happens in the first place.

James especially admires your ambition. He’s always found it easier to make connections with people who want the most out of life, and he’s glad he has a friend to seek this out with.

While he probably won’t partake himself, James is always up for chatting with you while you cook or bake. Your banter eases to a crawl during these times, so while you still find ways to tease the other in some way, it’s a much more relaxed setting than normal.

James is the first person to tell you to go for something. He’s a big believer in the idea of “You’ll never achieve anything if you play it safe,” so count on him to be one of your biggest supporters.

Overall, you and James have much in common, and it’s because of this that you can understand each other almost better than anyone.

#matchups #fandom matchups #mcu matchup #marvel matchup #mcu #marvel #harry potter matchup #harry potter #thor odinson #thor #pietro maximoff #george weasley #fred weasley #sirius black #james potter

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katehuntington · 5 years ago

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2020, 1st edition Disclaimer: ‘Kate Huntington’s Author & Fanfiction Recommendations’ is a platform for writers, to show appreciation for their work and expand their audience. I do not claim to be the author of these stories, neither do I own them. Read each writer’s warnings carefully, most of them are rated +18.

Without further ado, here is my list of recommendations.

One shots

“While You Sleep” - written by @foreverwayward Fluff - Dean Winchester - 617 words A heartwarming little fic about Dean living the domesticated life we all wish he could have. The writer has a very clever way of storytelling and the end might come as a surprise, only adding to the emotion it already brought along.

“Imagine” - written by @pennydrabbles Fluff - Dean x Reader - 800 words ‘Imagine calling Dean after a bad day and saying you miss him,’ says the header of this marvelous little story. It’s soothing, with strong descriptions, yet never over the top. Simplicity isn’t necessarily a bad word. It takes skill to not overy describe a scene and let the tale be told by the personal emotion of the reader. The author is able to do this with such elegance, that you actually feel Dean’s comfort.

“Heartbeats” - written by @there-must-be-a-lock Fluff - Dean x Castiel - 930 words Castiel is fascinated by the human heart, but doesn’t quite understand it, until he becomes human himself. I’ll start by saying that I don’t ship Dean and Cas together, but I do appreciate the people who do. What this little piece of art does is incredible, however, because while I was reading, I found myself rooting for them. The writer does a great job by using the literal human heart as a backbone of this story. Intriguing and very well executed.

“Everything That’s Yet To Come” - written by @fictionalabyss Fluff - Dean x Reader - 812 words Dean experiences what the future beholds, with the people who he wishes could be there. The author took me by the hand through this moving little one shot, which feels like a collection of greatest hits and wishes come true. It offers peace and closure not only for the older Winchester brother, but for the reader as well. Beautiful piece of writing.

“Take A Drunk Girl Home” - written by @amanda-teaches Fluff - Dean x Reader - 1869 words Dean taking care of others; it’s his nature and shows what a kind soul he truly is. The situation sketched here is no exception, and it’s softer than one can imagine. The pace is steady and the balance between fluff and comedy is just right. A lovely read.

“New Beginnings” - written by @our-jensen-ackles-love Fluff - Dean x Reader - 1665 words New Year’s Eve; a new start, a new life and plenty of reason to celebrate. A lovely ‘feel good’ story that makes us forget about the monsters, pain and loss Supernatural is known for. The level of fluff is equivalent to cuddling with puppies.

“When He Cries” - written by @revengingbarnes Angst/fluff - Dean x Reader - 1894 words When the woman who Dean loves falls victim during a case, the hunter has trouble dealing with the aftermath. And, boy... Does that hurt to witness. This is one of the most breathtaking stories I have stumbled on. The realism that is used to describe the gruesome and horrific angst, the emotion that is laced in every word, had me clutching my chest while reading. It’s is a beautiful piece of art.

“Nobody” - written by @soaringeag1e Angst - Dean x Reader - 2561 words This one shot reminds us why we should never stay angry with a loved one and let a fight unresolved, because what if something bad happens and we won’t have the chance to make it right? The writer gives a great sense to that fear and having to watch Dean go through this nightmare is truly heartbreaking.

“The Demon Inside You” - written by @foreverwayward Smut/angst - Demon!Dean x Reader - 4375 words Curing Dean from the demon that he has become proves to be difficult when he’s so hard to resist. What else is hard to resist, is this beautiful pitch black one shot. I don’t read Demon!Dean fiction often, because it still feels foreign to see the character who I love so much turn into something evil. This however, is so gripping and well written, that the darkness swallows up the beholder. Rough, hot, sad, narcissistic, all these ingredients packed up in one hell of a story.

“Curves And Edges” - written by @kittenofdoomage Smut/fluff/angst - Dean x Reader - 4375 words This equally sweet, sexy, funny and sad story is a big shout out to all women who think they don’t meet the beauty standards and feel like they will never be good enough to get noticed. It is one thing to replace a name with Y/N and call it a reader’s insert; it’s a gift to make every person reading this feels like they are the character in this story. The author handles every woman’s insecurities with grace, making her words both relatable and soothing. Her spot on version of Dean reminds us that we are all beautiful, desired and unique.

“Hold Her Tight” - written by @waywardbaby Fluff/smut - Dean x Reader - 2955 words ‘A story of a deep need to feel someone close to you’, is how the author describes her work. I couldn’t have said it better, because this one shot isn’t about sex; it’s about love making, and there’s a difference. What I also appreciate, is that Y/N takes the time to pamper herself. We all deserve some self care.

“Watch Your F!cking Mouth!” - written by @impala-dreamer Smut/comedy - Dean x Reader - 1984 words Dean falls under a literal curse, and it’s the most fun I’ve had in a long time. I was wheezing, couldn’t breathe and died laughing. It’s astonishing how the writer can juggle comedy and sex without the two taking each other down. An uplifting read.

“Thank God For Sexual Frustration” - written by @winchester-fantasies Smut - Dean x Reader - 4398 words God had nothing to do with writing this sinful story; we can thank the author for that. When Y/N is on a dry spell that has her frustrated, Dean helps her out in the best way imaginable. Delicious smut served in three courses, because we all know Dean keeps his lady satisfied.

Series:

“Life For Rent” - written by @winchest09 Smut/angst/fluff - Mobster!Dean x Escort!Reader - WIP This amazing series follows an experienced, smart and resilient escort, who is ruled by contracts, money and aliases. When Dean becomes her client, he makes it his mission to understand what this interesting woman is hiding. Conspiracies, deceat, crime. A strong family bond, blossoming love, oh, not to mention the sex. This series is intriguing beyond imagination and certainly not just another mobster fanfiction. The writing is smart and I could tell from the first paragraph that it’s loaded with hints and foreshadowing, but I couldn’t pick them out. This triggers a curiosity like an itch I can’t quite scratch away until I finish reading this story. And so I wait eagerly and drop everything the second a new chapter comes out. An absolute must read!

“Findings” - written by @kathaswings Angst/smut/fluff - Dean x Reader - finished. Update: Sadly, this series is no longer online This story starts out with what seems to be a routine demon hunt, until Dean and his brother find a frightened five year old survivor amongst the blood and corpses. Keeping the smart little Mackenzie safe and getting her back to her older sister proves to be difficult, because this case is a whole lot bigger than they anticipated and is likely to change their lives forever. This is one of my favorite Supernatural series and I revisited it recently. The overall story arc is a mystery I just had to unravel and I couldn’t put it down if I wanted to. The bond between Dean and Mackenzie is so precious. Writing a child isn’t easy. I’ve read plenty of books and seen plenty of films in which the maturity the creators added wasn’t natural, but this author handles Mac’s dialogue amazingly well. What’s also interesting is the jumps from point of view between Dean and Y/N, giving very personal perspectives on the gripping story.

“When You Least Expect It” - written by @coffee-obsessed-writer Fluff/angst/smut - Jensen Ackles x Musician!Reader - WIP This gorgeously written slow burn series kicks off when Jensen visits the idyllic town of Seaside. After a bad breakup he keeps his mind occupied with the organisation of a music festival, hoping to find a musician that fits the vibe he has in mind. He meets a spirited, undiscovered performer, not only her voice catching him by surprise. A friendship blossoms, with potential to grow into something more, but will their past allow the love they feel for each other? Talking about an epic love story, but it’s so much more than that. The music that plays such an important factor, the setting that is Seaside. The fabulous supporting characters Bri, Rob, Jason and Jared, the wardrobe, not to mention the wonderful little gems and details that this author weaved into the story, showing how much love she has put into it. This is without a shadow of a doubt my favorite RPF I’ve come across.

Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed the work of the authors above, don’t be afraid to let them know. I’m sure they will appreciate it. Feel free to share!

If you have any suggestions or would like a tag in the future, drop a request in my inbox or send me a message.

Love, Kate

‘Kate Huntington’s Author & Fanfiction Recommendations’ taglist: @adoptdontshoppets @fangirlxwritesx67 @idksupernatural @indecisive20something @tranquility-or-chaos @winchest09 @wingedcatninja

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heamarvel · 5 years ago

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Holiday Movie Challenge Prompt and Badge lists

Hellooooo shippers of all Marvel ships!

This marks the kickoff to HEA (Happily Ever After) Marvel’s Holiday Movie Challenge! If you don’t know us, we’re a group of crafty mods under the direction of our own personal Pepper Potts ( @betheflame ), so really, this is going to be great fun, and we hope that you’ll join us!

A brief intro to our event:

At no point do you need to sign up for this event. You are not beholden to post anything, even if you say that you will. This is a guiltless, fun event!

Pick a prompt, any prompt!

Interpret the prompt any which way you wish. We have prompt examples available for people to peruse on our blog and on our Discord, if you’re in need of a few examples.

Write (or art, podfic, or moodboard, etc.) any ship you want, even polyamorous relationships of any number or type (even if the prompts contain just two characters!).

Include additions from our badge list if you wish! They function like video game achievements (think World of Warcraft, or Xbox) and you will be rewarded with little achievement badges designed by the wonderful @kocuria that you can display anywhere you please.

The collection will open on November 1st and close on December 24th.

Around then we will provide a Google form to submit the badge info and other info for your fic.

BUT REMEMBER! All contributions to this event must have a Happily Ever After as per holiday movie standards (doesn’t mean there can’t be tons of angst and pain in the middle, though).

For any further info, please check out our Holiday Movie Challenge page, our Prompt and Badge page, our Frequently Asked Questions page, or ask us questions on Tumblr, Twitter, or on Discord! (Links on Tumblr.)

But that’s enough mod-splaining, let’s take a look under the cut at the prompts and badges that we’ve been eagerly waiting to share with you!

*We have included both (1) images to download and save as well as (2) text for those who prefer or need that medium! The images are at the bottom of this post.

Here’s a separate post with just the images.

Prompts

1. Character A is a big city lawyer who swore to never go back to their hometown. Suddenly, their grandfather dies and leaves them the family Christmas Tree farm. They’re determined to go back and shut down the farm. Character B runs the farm and is determined to save it.

2. After losing their job as an au pair in New York, Character A accepts a position as a nanny in the castle of a small European principality no one has ever heard of. Character B is a single parent & ruler of the country.

3. When architect and Christmas amateur Character A finds themselves hosting their family for Christmas, they recruit holiday coordinator Character B to bring holiday joy to their home.

4. A high-powered executive reconsiders their priorities when car trouble leads them to Christmas Valley, a town in love with Christmas.

5. Two new students at nearby university, Character A and Character B, meet the first day of classes and become study partners. A local bookstore becomes a close part of their lives as their relationship grows.

6. Character A - a famous author who writes about how to stay single - is forced to look after their niece and nephew over the holidays. With the help of their Christmas-loving neighbor, Character B, they learn to find love and the Christmas spirit.

7. A young royal (Character A) escapes their entourage to explore New York City over Christmas. They meet Character B who shows the beautiful stranger their side of the city.

8. As Christmas approaches, Character A (the Lizzie Bennet character), a New York event planner, is sent to a quaint, small town to organize their holiday festival. When they arrive, they find Character B (the Darcy character), a high-profile billionaire lacking in holiday spirit, in the process of selling the charming estate they hoped to use as a venue.

9. An anxious bride-to-be (Character A, “bride” is non-gender assigned) throws in with broken-hearted and cynical Character B and a happily married couple for an emergency ride to NYC from New England.

10. Character A has to go to their cousin’s holiday wedding that’s taking place a year to the day they were left at the altar. Unable to face going alone, they con Character B into going “just as friends.”

11. When a restless young married Character A is granted a wish by a Christmas Angel to be single again, they soon discover their new life isn't what they bargained for, and embark on a quest to win Character B back.

12. Character A and Character B have been archrivals ever since a memorable fight over a coveted Christmas recital solo in elementary school. Now adults, they work side-by-side at the same school where they still constantly compete over everything. As the holiday season approaches, the entire school is getting into the spirit with the annual fundraising festival, which will feature an exciting new event - a teacher Christmas Cookie Bake-Off, judged by a tough five-star chef.

13. Character A inherited a toy factory. The town needs the factory to stay open, but they have no interest in being tied to their hometown. Especially when they find out that Character B - who broke their heart in high school - is the town’s mayor.

14. A WWII era nurse (Character A) is transported in time to 2019 and meets Character B who helps them discover the bonds of family and that the true meaning of Christmas is timeless.

15. Stranded at an airport at Christmastime, Character A accepts a ride from Character B, who has just rented the last car in town.

Badges

Length

500

10k

15k

20k+

Ships

We’ll be custom-making the badges for whatever ship you choose to bring to the table! (Just keep in mind our limits: no underage, no non-con, no nazis.) Popular ship or rarepair+, this group of multishipping mods would love to see whatever you choose to write!

General fic elements

Baking/Cooking

Needing a passport

Non-abled character

Neuro-diverse character

Passes the Bechdel Test

Set outside the United States

Addresses a legitimate societal ill/charity/cause

Character learns a craft as a coping mechanism

Someone eats popcorn in a dramatic scene

Mention or include a Hallmark store or movie

Character is tracing their genealogy

Character writes fanfiction

Character learns a new skill

NSFW

A/B/O

Sentinels & Guides

Soulmate-Identifying Marks

Historical AU: Scottish or Irish clans

Historical AU: Ancient Rome or Greece

Historical AU: Regency or Victorian

Historical AU: American West

Inclusion of animal other than a dog, cat, or horse

‘It Takes a Village’ (town or community helps them hook up)

Use of holiday other than Christmas - including non-winter holidays

One sentence or more spoken in a language other than Russian

Discussion on classic literature and/or classic rock ‘n’ roll

Write a pairing you’ve never written before

Holiday Movie and general tropes

Inversion/Subversion of any trope

Main character has a cuddly dog

Presence of a small town festival

'And they were roommates!'

Fake Relationship

Only One Bed

Snowball fight

Ice skating or Ice hockey

Interrupted first kiss

Stories from childhood

Sassy/nosy best friend

Conniving co-worker

Kid as matchmaker

Single parent

Holiday specific

Yule log

Playing Dreidel

Holiday movie pick: Die Hard

Use of the phrase “Santa! I know him!”

Home Alone style shenanigans, serious or not

Trying to balance an egg on the Solstice

A non-Jewish character mixes up Passover and Hanukkah

Writing format/style

Outsider POV

First Person POV

Text Message/Chat Room

3+ perspectives in one story

Dialogue Only

Epistolary

Avengers stereotypes/fanon

Thor is foreign

Bots as children

Tony has insomnia

Tony Is Worthy (of Mjolnir)

Tony as a non-Iron Man mechanic

Ceiling vent Clint Barton

Budapest Explanation

Natasha is a scary spy/likes sneaking

Super-Nanny Phil Coulson

Peter Parker being a klutz

Peter and Shuri team up on Tony

Bruce has anger management problems

Avengers Movie Night

Darcy uses her taser

Bucky speaks Russian

Steve and/or Bucky need to play catch up on modern and pop culture

Shrunkyclunks (Modern Steve/CA & non-Avenger Bucky)

Shrinkyclinks (Modern Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier & non-CA Steve)

Side Character speaking role (any apply): Dr. Doom, Reed Richards, Galactus, Ghost Rider, Frank Castle, any Inhuman, any Runaway, Sif or one of the Warriors Three, Frigga, Amora or Lorelei

Set in a Marvel canon universe (even if not canon-compliant), for example: 1872, Noir

Mod Requests

Supernatural creatures

Gender swapped MC

Someone wears a tiara

Someone wears a kimono

Long-distance relationship

Snuggling to keep warm

1940s AU

Disclaimer: The above plot summaries in the prompt list belong to numerous movies in the Hallmark catalogue. We do not claim to own them, and are not making any money off of this, nor are we being paid by Hallmark to run this event.

Additionally, as of December 14th, 2019, we are no longer associating with Hallmark even in name, due to their poor choice to cave to pressure and remove an advertisement of a gentle, loving same-sex kiss occurring at their own wedding. We cannot and will not abide that.

#heamarvel #hallmarkholidaychallenge #Hallmark Challenge #marvel comics #mcu #marvel 616 #marvel ultimates #deadpool #x-men #mod post #prompt post #badge post #mod: juuls #holiday movie challenge

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og-danny-dorito · 5 years ago

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Spock Headcanons (There's No Reason This Time I Swear)

S F W:

- I don't even know why I like him so much I just do, but my dumb gay ass just loves this man. seriously no kidding

- spock is a child of two worlds; an outcast but a familiar part of both systems in their actuality, residing as the cross section between Vulcan and human that was frowned upon for so long. his intelligence was left unconsidered as he passed all of his classes with excellence, being known as not the intelligent Vulcan boy but as the dysfunctional human hybrid of a being

- so obviously he's probably got some insecurities

- they're not bad, but he tends to be a bit self deprecating sometimes when referring to capability of things. for instance if you ask him if he can say uhhh.... if he can draw something for example. he’ll most likely state that he has no talent or not enough skill or his previous artwork was terrible so he doesn't suggest asking him for it.

- he knows what he logically isn't and is capable of, but the human doubt still crawls in the back of his mind like a parasite. he still feels emotions, just less outwardly, he's definitely capable of feeling and if you are observant enough you'll notice that he expresses himself through very very small gestures

- when he quirks a brow at something he either finds it surprising or he's being sarcastic, two things which don't happen often (except the latter)

- he's very private, obviously, but is still open to conversation about his interests. mostly he says that he just reads and works in his spare time, but that's not exactly the truth

- when he has nothing else to do, spock finds interest in cat videos and cat videos only. seriously, he'll watch them for hours if he's not got nothing to do, just staring at the screen in silence as he watches cats do stupid cute things like they're the most interesting beings in the world

- he secretly would like a cat as a pet, but yknow it's not really easy to keep pets on Starfleet considering he doesn't want to deprive the animal of connectivity with nature

- can and will debate you about whether cats or dogs are better. sulu once said he thought cats were problematic in spock’s general area of 10 feet in diameter and there was a very heated debate that went on for a good hour or so before sulu got frustrated and decided to just let him win

- spock also likes weird and exotic plants considering that their chemical composition is interesting. he finds it fascinating that different planets use the plants around them for food or medical treatment or a number of other things, so he finds that a way to start off with a culture study is to study the biotany of the planet first

- had NEVER seen a cactus before coming to earth, and now has like 10 of them just sitting in his quarters. he'll never tell anyone but they're named after the constellations that can be seen from Vulcan. he's just a nerd I swear

- Shakespeare nerd, although that's fact not a headcanon

- romantically I think he'd have fairly bad self worth issues. a lot of the time he views himself as unworthy of his partner, and he'll have trouble with physical contact the first few times mainly because he doesn't exactly know what to do with himself

- not much for pda at all. he says it's because it's indecent, but it's really because he gets all flustered when you kiss his cheek or snake your fingers around his in public where there are people all around. he gets super embarrassed and it's cUTE

- wouldn't have a favorite part of his partner physically; he's genuinely only attracted to the mind. male or female or not even using that gender binary, if you fit whatever standard he holds for intelligence and actually love him he doesn't care what you physically are

- vulcans bond through souls so appearance basically doesn't matter. this doesn't mean he doesn't find you attractive, it just means he wouldn't care if you weren't. he loves everything about you anyway, beautiful or not to the world around you both

- you could call him pansexual and I feel like he prefers someone with a more feminine or elegant way of handling themselves. someone that generally is elegant and cunning seriously catches his attention, and on top of that someone who can and will openly challenge him genuinely makes him intrigued and enrapt with you

- he does kindof have a taste for people who can be reckless (cough Jim cough) due to impulse or bravery, seeing as he admires the fact that the person is willing to take a risk

- cannot be with someone closed off and cold, it just won't work cause he himself is basically a block of ice. he does feel but like barely, and even then he doesn't really show it

- one good way to tell the emotion is to look into his eyes. they speak more than he ever would about his feelings to anyone out loud

- writes poetry to give as presents to those he cares about; most commonly to lovers or his mom (at least he used to write for his mom, until she died). he writes actually very well, although his poetry is more structured than eloquent in a sense of interpretation and imaginativeness. he writes about things that he likes about you, which ends up describing all of you with very specific details you probably didn't realize until you read the lines

- appreciates art in all forms, although he's fairly certain he'd be bad at it. if you write stories or draw he's always open to helping you interpret characters or figure out a good way to express your own feeling through the ar if you're having trouble. encourages you to try new things with pretty much everything, but mostly art

- VERY very good at giving advice, he's basically the Strict Mom of the whole crew (I say strict mom because there are multiple different people who take the mom title, such as Leonard “Bones” McCoy; Stressed Mom). for instance if you're injured or being faced with mentally stressing conditions he'll most likely tell you to take breaks more often or suggest speaking about them to either your peers or to someone you trust. usually people go to him when they don't know what to do and he calculates the probabilities of each and suggest they put aside most emotional matters to think through it more clearly

- his ideal date would probably be like going to a museum or something, but all he’ll do is stay in a section with all the cool rocks and taxidermy animals while asking your opinion and knowledge on them curiously. he may know about pretty much everything in there but he doesn't care, he likes to watch you marvel at all the cool things in there

- 100% does buy the stuffed animals and figurines that are supposed to be models of stuff. yes, he knows that he can find that rock from that one planet practically anywhere but he still WANTS it because it GLOWS in the DARK

- probably would not think you're like seriously dating until the second month or so, mainly to calculate stability between you two

- is open to a marriage if he's been courting someone for a particularly long time, being at least three years or so. he's very very plan-oriented and organized and so he expects you to be lacking impulsiveness when making life-changing decisions

- bonding with his partner means the most to him in all honesty, though. it hold s such a high regard in his heart and soul that he genuinely feel s very very seriously and passionately about it. it's something he doesn't take with a grain of salt, mostly because he wants to be with the one he loves forever. you mean the world to him, and he wants to keep you as close as possible for as long as possible

- down to have kids, maybe a girl that he'd name Amanda, after his mother, or a boy named Grayson or some Vulcan name that you wouldn't be able to pronounce correctly without extensive practicing

- just thinks kids are nice, although he'd probably be a little hesitant and VERY protective

- OH and before I finish this is completely unrelated but I feel like he likes summer more than any other season since it reminds him of his homeland so much. that and he also likes that everything grows up nicely during this time

- his favorite flower is either the notch-leaf phacelia or the harvestbell mainly because he likes the colors and structure of them; he just thinks they look neat

- he'll get them for you whenever, most likely organize the flowers specifically himself for you, combining yours and his favorite flowers to look beautiful even though the could be completely different

- denies that he's a hopeless romantic, merely stating that he just wants you to know that he loves you by giving you poems and flowers

- but we all know The Truth

- tbh he just cares a lot, although he's bad a thing showing emotions. Spock is calm and collected, but inside a whirlpool of thoughts flood his head daily. be patient with him and he'll open up over time, letting you see into the depths of the mind you'll come to cherish so deeply

#spock #spock headcanons #spock headcanon #spock imagine #spock imagines #star trek: the original series #star trek: the motion picture #star trek headcanons #Star Trek headcanon #Star Trek imagine #star trek imagines #star trek beyond #star trek #Star Trek tos #tos

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theclaravoyant · 5 years ago

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AN ~ At long last; a *very* belated Roaring Twenties Rarepair Exchange gift for the amazing @bobbimorseisbisexual (lazyfish), who prompted “Scis & Spies + Regency AU".

This fic was inspired by the show Gentleman Jack, which is technically set in the Georgian era but it's pretty close! It’s also the longest thing I’ve written in like a year, and my first ever S&S fic! Though it may not be apparent from the appalling lateness, I had a great time writing this; I hope you enjoy it too <3

Rated T. Mostly fluffy. Relationships: Scis & Spies (Bobbi x Simmons x Fitz x Hunter, polyamory)

Read on AO3 (3800wd)

The Jacks and the Gentlemen

Barbara Elizabeth Morse was a woman of a peculiar kind. She always had been.

Ever since she had developed the capacity to loathe things, for example, Barbara had loathed her name; in particular, the foremost. But the fact that she insisted on being addressed as “Bobbi” instead was merely the first in a long line of deviations she took from the expected norm of her assigned sex so that by young adulthood, she had permanently marked herself as quite the oddity.

Growing up, Bobbi had no interest in the banal niceties expected of a woman of her station, and less than none in frills and petticoats or tending house. Even learning the arts and languages and traipsing around her family’s estate on horseback became dull and boring after a time. What was the point after all, Bobbi reasoned, of broadening one’s horizons if one was only permitted to gaze at them from the safety and mundanity of one’s lace-curtained bedroom window? What was the point of developing a sharp mind if it was allowed only to consume and perform as it had been told? It was a gilded cage to be sure, but a cage nonetheless, and so Bobbi dedicated much of her life to spreading her wings and flying free of it.

To this end – and despite much protest from her hand-wringing family - Bobbi left the comforting cloister of her estate and travelled the world; whereupon she discovered and indulged in many a fascination that had been denied her for so much of her young life. She experimented with tailored coats and hats, trousers, cravats… She studied science and medicine, biology, strategy… She delighted in romantic challenge and chase and left many a heart broken in her wake. She was even married for a time, to a disgruntled British naval officer, but it didn’t stick. Few things did as, quite the opposite of bored, Bobbi became rather restless; all but consumed by the need to discover what the world held in store for her.

When came the news that she had to return home, it was devastating. Without the benefit of hindsight, it hardly seemed to Bobbi that there could be a new and equally enticing journey about to begin. Yet, she had never been one to be cowed by things not going her way, and so she held her head high – a little too high, perhaps, when she insisted upon driving the carriage home herself; fearing, not that she would admit it, that her recently-returned nightmares of the carriage walls closing in around her would finally come true.

Bobbi endured the talk of her home town with as much dignity as she could muster – and as both a woman of high class and exceeding stoicism, that amount was not insignificant. Still, she could not entirely pretend, to herself at least, that it did not bother her; the way they all seemed to talk about her as though she was the small one, the poorly achieving one, having done nothing with her life but travel and dabble in knowledge after knowledge. Even the ones she thought might understand seemed to be hopeful that her return was a sign she was ready to settle down, and the more times this was insinuated, the more Bobbi wanted to cut off her own hair, denounce all civilisation, and steal away into the night. She had the skills and the courage to do it now. The only thing stopping her was the need to rebuild her estate before her family’s finances collapsed entirely and left a few dozen good people out of work and home.

… Although, if she were being completely honest, it did not hurt matters that she had also been invited for tea with the newest and most curious of her neighbours, one Miss Jemma Anne Simmons.

Miss Simmons was a pretty young woman, but her arrival was making a splash in the papers as much for her scientific mind as for her elusive inventor fiancé, and her appearance of apparently Shakespearean beauty. So, as much as Bobbi had been weighed down by tired social occasion after tired social occasion with the socialites that flittered through town on the ever-changing wealth of this new age of industrialisation, she had a feeling in her gut that this one was going to be different.

That feeling certainly was not nerves, Bobbi insisted to herself as she stepped over the threshold of the Fitz-Simmons house – and then again, as she was announced and ushered into the parlour, to find Jemma in all the resplendent glory the papers had promised. The woman seemed delicate, refined, and delightfully feminine in all the ways Bobbi knew she herself was not and Bobbi – who had always been a rather brash sort – felt herself oddly humbled by Jemma’s smile.

“Good afternoon,” Jemma greeted, “it’s Barbara, isn’t it?”

Bobbi couldn’t help but cringe. “Please,” she requested, “call me Bobbi.”

“Oh yes, of course. My apologies.” Jemma curtsied a little – and was that a blush? “It’s lovely to have you, Bobbi. Would you care for some tea? Of if you would prefer, I can send for coffee…”

She reached for the bell, but Bobbi raised a hand to stop her.

“Tea would be wonderful,” she agreed. “Young Hyson, if you have it - black, with no sugar. Thank you.”

“Of course.” Jemma nodded, and began to pour. And yes, that was definitely a blush. Bobbi was even feeling a whisper of her own as Jemma added – as if she was trying to hide how desperately she wished Bobbi to acquiesce –

“I wonder if we might take tea outside this afternoon. I’ve been positively beleaguered with meetings today and I must see to my plants.”

A woman after her own heart. Bobbi smiled.

“Of course. We should stretch our legs after all.”

“Then it is decided.”

Bobbi’s heart dared to flutter in her chest as Jemma’s cautious hostess’ smile erupted into a beaming grin. The woman took hold of her skirts – revealing boots much like Bobbi’s own, rather than slippers that might have matched her otherwise refined ensemble – and took off out of the parlour door with great gusto. Finding herself drawn to follow, this time undeniably by more than her botanist’s interest alone, Bobbi strode after Jemma as best she could while reeling at her own spoonishness.

As they traipsed across the lawn, Bobbi marvelled in the delight Jemma seemed take at being out of doors, and drank in the prelude to the greenhouse – half snatched away by the wind though it was – with which the other woman was regaling her. Bobbi found herself entranced by Jemma’s spirited expression; the way she revelled in the trials and tribulations of seeking and transporting her large collection of exotics, unfazed even as the wind began to pull locks of her perfect hair from its arrangement and blow them unceremoniously into her face. And then –

“Oh, excuse me, Bobbi,” Jemma pleaded, and her expression narrowed into a scolding sort of glare. Bobbi followed the line of it and saw a ladder propped against the side of what appeared to be a disused chicken coop, and a figure hunched atop the rickety roof in an overcoat and goggles, fixing some contraption or other to the highest point of the pitch.

“Ho, Fitz!” Jemma hollered, as the figure lost hold of a tool and it fell to the dirt. He cursed.

“That’s Fitz?” Bobbi blurted. “Your Fitz?”

“You sound surprised,” Jemma noted.

“I meant no offence, it’s just – I’ve met quite a few of these entrepreneurial types and generally they’re rather… obnoxious.”

Jemma scoffed. “Oh, believe me: he’s plenty obnoxious.”

Resolute, she handed her cup of tea to Bobbi, hitched her skirt up a little higher with both hands and made a bee-line for the chicken coop, until she was close enough that her boots were in the muck.

“Fitz!” she called again.

“Yes, love?”

Fitz’s head jerked up at the call, and he saw her and Bobbi and apparently not the loose tile on which he had stepped. Before he could do any more than yelp in surprise, he had slipped and fallen flat on his back, coughing and spluttering and winded. His curls looked madder than ever as he lay there in resignation, and spat a soiled feather from his pouting mouth.

“Ugh, Fitz!” Jemma lamented. She locked an arm with her fiancé and hauled him out of the sludge. “I told you to wait until Mack could come down and help with all this.”

“Mack and I are building the mechanical milling machine,” Fitz corrected. “This is a sonic fox repellent. It’s just a prototype but – Oh, sorry. I’m Fitz, by the way. Leopold Fitz, technically, but please don’t call me that.”

“Barbara Morse, technically,” Bobbi greeted. “But please don’t call me that either. I prefer Bobbi. Sonic fox repellent, you say? Let me know if it works – I might have to purchase a couple for myself.”

“Well, uh, thank you, but um –“

“But Mack will be here any minute, dear,” Jemma interrupted, waving Fitz toward the house. “Go and clean up now. Go! Honestly.”

“Yes, dear.” Fitz rolled his eyes, but smiled at his fussing fiancé as he retreated toward the house. Jemma slogged the rest of the way to the chicken coop and retrieved the screwdriver he had dropped, setting it on a step of the nearby ladder in case he went looking for it later. Bobbi looked on with nought to do but hold the two teacups steady, and she was a little surprised to find that despite what perhaps should have been a heart-wrenching reality check - to discover that the most recent object of her affection was indeed happy with someone else - Bobbi felt nothing but delight. No jealousy, no despair. And, if anything, a redoubled sense of yearning.

“Sorry about him,” Jemma apologised as she returned to Bobbi’s side to fetch her tea. “He’s a lovely man, really, and very intelligent, but he’s not accustomed to being complimented by beautiful women.”

“Well, with you around you think he’d be used to it by now.”

Jemma laughed, and raised an eyebrow as she took a sip. “Careful, Ms. Morse, you’ll give a lady ideas.”

The delivery of it was coquettish, light-hearted, but still Bobbi couldn’t help feeling that she’d crossed a line. She thought of poor sweet Fitz, and her heart sunk.

“I- I’m sorry, Miss Simmons. I meant nothing of it. Just that… Mr Fitz is a very lucky man.”

Seeing that she had sent Bobbi skittering, Jemma hurried to backtrack so emphatically that she almost spilled her tea.

“Oh, please! No need to apologise, it is all in good spirit – It was I who misspoke without the proper context. You see, Bobbi – may I still call you Bobbi? – your reputation precedes you in this regard but perhaps mine does not. Oh, dear.” Flustered, Jemma paused to gather herself and suddenly wished very dearly for a side table on which to deposit the lukewarm, useless beverage in her hands. “You see, I have been known to uh, entertain the attentions of the fairer sex myself. Not only am I not in the slightest offended by your perfectly innocent compliment, but I- I’m afraid I must confess I’d rather hoped you were being flirtatious.”

Bobbi gaped. “But… Fitz? I couldn’t. You’re engaged. It’s- it would be-”

“Fitz and I have an understanding,” Jemma clarified. At least, she phrased it like it was a clarification, but Bobbi only stumbled deeper into her confusion. She’d only seen the pair interact for a few odd minutes and already the connection was clear.

“He doesn’t- He’s not in love with you?” That man? Are you sure? Perhaps she would have to rethink her own calibration for stoicism if he had managed to keep that a secret.

Jemma shook her head.

“I’m not explaining this right. It never comes out simply, does it?” She clicked her tongue, tutting to herself as if musing on a new location for a particular pot, and not resolving the several short circuits sparking off inside Bobbi’s mind right now. It seemed like hours before she finally began again to explain:

“Fitz and I have been friends for the longest time,” she said. “As we grew and discovered that each of us had rather taken to those of our own sex we thought, if we were to live and love as our true selves well then, why not make it a marriage of convenience? Of course, he went and fell in love with me, didn’t he – and I him, do not misunderstand me: by some very blessed coincidence, we are very much in love. But our arrangement still stands. Fitz would not take offence in the slightest if you and I were to… explore any possibilities that may… arise.”

“…Right.”

“I can see that you need some more time to process,” Jemma observed. “Well, if I haven’t scared you off entirely – let’s say no more of it, for now. Come. Let me show you the greenhouse.”

They said no more of it for the rest of the afternoon, and for several days after that. They wrote little notes back and forth, about tea and chickens and foxes and plants, and very much not about the other topic of the day. Jemma waited for Bobbi to broach it and Bobbi – despite thinking about the arrangement with increasing regularity as time went on – dared not. The exact reason for it eluded her; did she fear that perhaps she had misread something, and that Jemma had not in fact, meant what she had said after all? Did she fear being the other woman – as she had been asked and offered many a time by men and women alike who did not have such an arrangement with their partners? Or did she fear the opposite instead; that she had finally found someone as unusual and brilliant and queer in every way as she herself was? Perhaps even two someones?

No doubt, there was some combination of all three tangled up in this knot in her chest, but it was the latter that kept Bobbi going to her desk in the middle of the night, pulling out a pen and paper, and not… quite… putting… the words down.

Or putting them down, and crossing them out.

Or putting them down, and throwing them in the fire.

As she watched the pages curl and blacken, Bobbi could taste the bitter memory of the last time she’d found herself in such a position. She had few regrets in her life, but one of them was that day; the day she’d let (or rather, driven) her former husband’s last words to her fall into the fire. There had been a lot more anger involved that time around, she recalled, and no shortage of jabbing at sparks with the fire iron, to make sure she’d got every last bit. This time, it felt like a step in the wrong direction. Like she was waiting to release the breath she was holding, or for the knot in her chest to untie and it never would.

I fear I must, were the last words she could discern now, from the letter she had burnt. She reached for the poker with a tremor in her fingers, and gritted her teeth. One good jab, and it would all be over. Then again, there was a blank spot just there. She could save it, if she were careful – and quick, as the words were already shrinking before her eyes.

I fear I

I fear

Fear

And then they were gone. And her breath was still caught in her chest but she lifted her head. She may have burned her bridges with the Midshipman after all, but she could still remember that infuriatingly rakish daredevil smile of his.

“Come on, love,” he used to like challenging her. “A little fear is nothing to be afraid of.”

It was something that had always bound them; the rush of taking risks, the revelling in new horizons. It was every reason she had to have left her home in the first place; perhaps that was what had made their relationship last so long, despite the warning signs. And as Bobbi reflected upon this image of herself, kneeling at her hearth, clutching a fire poker with a shaking hand at some unearthly hour in the morning - and not for the first time at that - she had to laugh. This was exactly the reason Hunter had broken up with her and after all this time she had to admit, the limey was right: as much as she purported to be bold and confident, to love a challenge, she was a coward when it came to affairs of the heart.

But Bobbi was no fool. She knew regret, and she knew the value of a wasted opportunity. She had regretted leaving Hunter enough times in her life thus far; she dared not waste such an opportunity again.

So she stood, and reached for her coat. Never mind the nightgown, never mind ringing for Davis; Bobbi figured, she could tack a horse herself just as quickly and if she didn’t take action now the fear might just get the better of her. Perhaps the boots, though, rather than these flimsy slippers – yes, she should take the boots.

She pulled them on in a fluster, hopping in through the stable door, and tacked up in the dark as fast as her fingers remembered how. Of course, she could walk to the Fitzsimmons’ – they were only next door after all, just a little ways down the road - but it was far too late at night for that, and God forbid it would give her too much time to think.

Fortunately, Belle was fleet of foot and it was not long at all before she was clattering up the FitzSimmons’ driveway, her heart in her throat. There was a carriage she did not recognise in a nearby pen. Did they have a guest? Should she turn back? Belle whinnied low as if warning her, and Bobbi swallowed her fear once again. If she did turn back, no doubt she would find herself achingly alone by the fireplace for many more nights in her life, and as much as she treasured her independence, she didn’t want it to be like that. Not when it didn’t have to be.

Bobbi slid from the saddle, and as she tied Belle to a nearby post she spared a thought of gratitude that she had decided to wear boots for a little relief against the chilled and dewy cobblestones. With a deep breath, she approached the threshold, and knocked, and rang the bell.

Seconds passed, and though she counted them along their way they still somehow felt like minutes. Like hours. Bobbi watched every breath steam in front of her and after the third she closed her eyes and reluctantly wondered what it would be like to just give in to the dread, and forget the whole thing.

Just as she was on the knife’s edge of giving up, however, the door opened a crack.

It was Fitz, with his soft curls and his shirt loose and dishevelled, and upon recognising the figure who stood at his door, a rather bewildered expression.

“Jemma, dear,” he called, “I think- I think it’s for you.”

And so Jemma came to the door as well, and looked Bobbi up and down. A frown crossed her features, concerned and curious, as she ushered Bobbi inside.

“Are you alright?” she wondered. “I… hadn’t heard from you.”

“I know.” Bobbi bounced on the spot. With adrenaline keeping her blood pumping, she hadn’t realised it was quite so cold. “I know. It’s my fault. I meant to tell you so- so many things. I was flattered- I am flattered. Exceedingly so. I just…”

“It’s perfectly understandable,” Jemma assured her. “I should never have sprung something so… unconventional on you like that!”

“But being unconventional is why I like you.” It blurted out with no restraint, and Bobbi felt her heart warm when Jemma smiled. “And it’s not the- the arrangement itself that worries me. I suppose I thought you were mocking me; that you might not have been taking me seriously.”

“Bobbi.” Jemma looked her square in the eyes, and very deliberately reached out a hand to take hers. “We were very serious – and still are, if you’ll have us.”

Fitz nodded his agreement earnestly, and at last, Bobbi felt the knot in her chest begin to untie.

“Well then,“ she confessed, “I suppose my answer is yes.”

Jemma beamed, and clapped in delight.

“Wonderful!” she cried. “Won’t you come in for a drink to celebrate?”

“Certainly,” Bobbi agreed. The fear was fading much faster than she had anticipated, and she smiled at her companions with genuine warmth in her heart. “I would love a brandy, if you have it.”

“I’ll pour you a glass,” Fitz said, and scoffed. “If Hunter hasn’t taken the last drop.”

“If- who?”

Bobbi stammered, and let Jemma and Fitz usher her into the lounge without protest, with hardly a thought as she checked back over what she had heard. Surely it couldn’t be…

“Where’ve you been, lovelies?”

That voice, she knew it. The spinning, slightly drunken dance he was doing as he poured himself a glass. Even that scruffy beard, and the medallion of St Anthony that gleamed on a leather thong around his neck as he turned away from the fireplace and back toward the door - Bobbi couldn’t see it from this far away but she knew, she knew that’s what it was.

Apparently, he knew her just as quickly too, as he froze mid-dance and mid-pour and stared. Not too long ago, he would have made a snide comment to try and to get a rise out of her – speak of the devil? she could imagine he would say - and a rise she would gladly have given him. But this time he simply… stared.

“Uh…” Fitz wondered from the sidelines. “Do you two know each other?”

Jemma elbowed him, and hissed for him to hush, but it barely registered to Bobbi. She was too busy watching Hunter, waiting for him to burst the bubble of nostalgia and rose-coloured glasses she had no doubt shaded him with. Any second now.

Instead, he smiled, and held the last glass of the brandy out to her.

“It’s good to see you, Bob,” he said.

“It’s good to see you too.”

#aosfic #scis & spies #agents of shield #aosficnet #roaring 20s rarepair exchange #marvel #polyamory #clara's fic tag

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ty-talks-comics · 5 years ago

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Best of Marvel: Week of August 7th, 2019

Best of this Week: Absolute Carnage #1 - Donny Cates, Ryan Stegman, JP Mayer, Frank Martin and Clayton Cowles

God is Here.

The seeds have been sown all over the Marvel Universe for the re-emergence of Carnage in a big way for months. He’s had single back-up pages in The Avengers, Black Cat, Captain Marvel, Immortal Hulk and many others portending his arrival and the sheer amount of people and creatures that are now within his thrall. Everything is coming to a head and it is absolutely terrifying.

The book begins with Eddie Brock recalling the events of everything Donny Cates has written since he took over the character.and other past events that have ultimately shaped what will soon happen. Eddie tells his son Dylan, who doesn’t know that Eddie is his father, about Knull, the God of the Symbiotes, and how he’s being kept asleep by the planet of symbiotes surrounding him. The only way for Knull to be woken up is if someone collected enough symbiote pieces and DNA to reconnect to the hive mind and if Knull is reawakened, he will begin spreading a new age of darkness across the cosmos.

Eddie references the fights against the Dragon of Knull in the beginning of his run, but also talks about the other people who have held the Symbiote or symbiotes. He pulls so much history out in so few sentences, along with a stellar double page spread by Stegman that one might be convinced to check out other great stories just to see how deep the rabbit hole goes. Characters from Maximum Carnage are shown, heroes that may have been changed during Venomized and of course Captain America, The Thing and Wolverine from the amazing Carnage USA.

After Eddie recounts the danger that the two are in, they see that Eddie is a wanted man after killing many inmates at Ryker’s Island. Of course Eddie was never there and after suspecting that they’re being followed, Eddie tells Dylan that they need to make a break for it and they run away from their tail into the subway. Unfortunately for them, Cletus Kasady was lying in wait and pushes them onto the tracks, only for them to be saved by their tail; Venom.

Eddie re-bonds with the symbiote after derailing the train and a new and terrifying Carnage confronts them. Stegman wastes not a single stroke in making Carnage look like a menacing force of pure psychotic evil. His teeth are jagged, his limbs are gangly with “skin” that looks like it’s constantly dripping with blood an his ribcage and spine are exposed, but covered in the same material. He could almost be considered skeletal if not for the pumping veins all around him. This is a Monster Carnage, even more terrifying than 2015’s Carnage series and many times more powerful.

Carnage, like most children of other symbiotes, has always been stronger than Venom. Though, with enough force and maybe some help, Carnage has always been defeated one way or another, but not this time. Kasady beats the ever living hell out of Venom, smacking him in the face and smashing him into the ground. He gets right on the cusp of killing him before Eddie grabs the third rail of the subway line and electrocutes the both of them, a temporary victory so that he and Dylan can escape. The symbiote puts Eddie into something of a coma while he heals the body and takes them to the one person that can help.

In a little diner where they think it’s safe, Eddie, Dylan and Spider-Man talk about what’s been going on. Spider-Man is taken aback and annoyingly jokes to Eddie about all of this being out of his league before a news report is shown depicting a mass grave of people that have had their spines ripped out, likely for the Symbiote DNA or Codices (plural for Codex) as Eddie calls them. After some chumps try to rob the diner, Spider-Man takes them out handedly while formulating a plan with Eddie, saying that Reed Richards could have made a machine to help remove the Codex from anyone that has ever been attached to a symbiote, but he would have needed to start long ago.

We then cut to The Maker, the Reed Richards from the Ultimate Universe that has taken up residence in the 616 Universe, as he’s actually been working on such a machine for use on Flash Thompson. The Maker’s goals and those of his employers are unknown and that makes for horrifying implications because there is no way that he is up to any sort of good at all and makes it clear that he too is trying to reunite the symbiotes.

Spider-Man shows up with Normie Osborn as the first possible test subject, but doesn’t want it to be used until he knows that it’s safe. Maker moans that if he has to be so sure, then he should find someone else with a codex, someone dangerous that Carnage may in fact go after next. Peter and Eddie get the same thought: Norman Osborn.

Norman had used the Carnage symbiote to become the Red Goblin not too long ago and after his defeat at the hands of Spider-Man, lost his mind and gained the memories and personality of Cletus Kasady. Things go to hell in a handbasket very quickly as John Jameson, the guard who let them into Ravencroft also known as the Man-Wolf, reveals himself as another of Carnage’s infected puppets.

Mayer then coats the book in an intense and overbearing red hue, signaling nothing but danger as Carnage throws pieces of himself into each cell. There are elements of body horror as he pulls these tiny bits of himself out of his chest and they burrow into the victims. Kasady’s mouth and eyes also seem to drip with his symbiote form as he and the other barrel down on Venom and Spider-Man. A giant and beautiful brawl ensues with the infected ripping and tearing at the pair. The mass of bodies overwhelm and Eddie almost begins to kill before being reigned in by Spider-Man. Unfortunately Spider-Man gets caught by Carnage.

It was around here that I had the realization that Pete and Cletus haven’t actually clashed in YEARS. Maybe as far back as 2011’s Carnage USA was the last time the two fought, so to see Pete finally see him again with half of his mask gone, there’s a small bit of fear in his body language. This is doubled as Carnage throws Spider-Man into Norman’s cell door, breaking it open to reveal a deranged Norman who appears to have been slicing himself with a piece of glass in his cell. With the combination of the bright red of his blood juxtaposed against the darkness of his cell, Norman stands out, not as the cunning genius that we knew him, but as another victim of Carnage and he smiles with mad glee.

Absolute Carnage #1 absolutely lives up to the hype that has been built for it. This story can expand so far and with the tie-ins that have been announced, I’m actually very excited. Carnage has been scary, but this is on a whole new level for him. You never quite know who is one of his thralls! Hell, John Jamson appeared to be completely normal until the trigger was pulled in him and turned him into another monster. Carnage has always been a problem for the larger Marvel universe whenever people have had to fight him individually. Deadpool had a hard time fighting him. Captain America, Wolverine, Hawkeye and the Thing almost died fighting him. Even when he was temporarily a good guy during AXIS, he was still horrifically dangerous.

With new god-like abilities, lack of weaknesses and unimaginable unpredictability, what can anyone do?

Ryan Stegman’s art needs to be absolutely praised as well. His lines are crisp and heavy in an almost perfect way. He manages to give things a darkness and depth to them that makes everything feel absolutely brutal, disgusting and weighty. He can capture faces of absolute terror, rage and every wonderful expression that Venom makes. Personally I love how emotive he makes Spider-Man’s mask with the eyes widening and shrinking with his surprise or incredulity. He also has a talent for spreads as there are about three really good ones that really shows his skill for depth of field. Venom and Spider-Man also look incredibly strong. We all know that I love muscular art and all of their muscles are accentuated through their costumes. Spider-Man has his lithe and athletic body and Venom is nothing but raw strength and I love it.

Absolute Carnage hit every correct note. There was violence, horror and even a little bit of family drama. The stakes are very high and while not on the same scale as War of the Realms, the sheer amount of murders caused and their horrifying nature is more than enough to be concerned about. Donny Cates looks like he’s going to do it again with his first big Marvel event (I think, I don’t really remember) and bring us all to another level of badass storytelling.

High recommend.

---------------------------------------------------

I have never been more interested in Moira MacTaggert than I am right now.

Runner Up: House of X #2 - Jonathan Hickman, Pepe Larraz, Marte Garcia and Clayton Cowles

I've always seen Moira as just another supporter of mutants that tragically had their life ended because of The Brotherhood's evil schemes. I loved that she supported Charles dreams and wanted to help mutants, but never actually knew that she herself was a mutant. She's always had something of a tumultuous history and this issue of House of X expands on that in the most amazing way and shows how important she truly has been in the advancement of the lives of mutant kind this entire time.

In her first life, Moira MacTaggert lived a fairly normal existence. She went to school, married, had kids and died at the rope old age of 78. Soon after, she woke in her mother's womb, capable of remembering everything that she had done in the past life. It was strange and she couldn't let on what she knew, but she knew that she was special somehow. It wasn't until she saw Charles Xavier on the news that it all clicked for her. When he said the word mutant, everything changed for her. She went to try and meet him, only for her plane to crash, ending that life.

In her third life, she dedicated herself to biology and sought out a cure for the X-Gene, achieving as much only for it to go horribly wrong when Mystique and Destiny, a character who died in Fall of the Mutants (1988) and was last seen in Necrosha (2010), appear and murder all of her fellow scientists. Destiny tells Moira that she knows what her abilities are and that if she continues down a path that could lead to the extinction of mutants, Destiny will always be there to stop her. She tells her that the only path to stop this cycle of reincarnation is to do whatever she can to help mutant kind.

As a reminder, Destiny has Pyro slowly burn Moira alive so that she never forgets what it will be like to die at her hands.

From here, Moira becomes a radical, leading lives that take her away from Xavier's dream and push her further into darkness. Everything becomes a lesson in repeating the past, however. At first she lives the normal life and history that we already know. Forming a school for gifted youth, the schism between Magneto and Charles, The X-Men and eventually Charles' and mutantkind's death at the hands of Sentinels.

In the life after that, she shows Charles her past lives and turns him into a radical, managing to take over America before Sentinels kill them again. The next sees her kill the Trask family line, only for someone else to design Sentinels instead. She aligns with Magneto or Apocalypse in different lives, all reaching similar or even worse endings.

Eventually, she realizes that there's only one path that she hasn't truly tried: Embracing the dream and making it real. This is the House of X timeline.

We've seen Moira passively protect mutants, but never engaged with Charles in a way that could truly help him. With knowledge of past events, the two can find a path forward that would not only save mutants, but propel their evolution farther. I believe that's why Charles has sought to UNITE everyone. Apocalypse, Magneto, Mystique, Mister Sinister, all of mutantkind under one banner to make the lives of all better. It's certainly a dream, but Moira MacTaggert is the linchpin that makes that dream a reality.

She's always been one of the X-Men's smartest and loyal friends. With her help, her genius behind Charles' vision there's no way that the House of X can fall. It's very telling that every path that utilizes violence or tries to eradicate one side has always lead to ruin. It's even more telling that even the peaceful path requires some bit of strong arming, but if that's what it takes to get humans to stop killing mutants, then it really doesn't matter. Charles will have peace between the two sides and Moira is more than willing to embrace this beautiful new path.

#comics #marvel #marvel comics #absolute carnage #carnage #venom #eddie brock #cletus kasady #spider man #donny cates #ryan stegman #jp meyer #house of x #x men #moira mactaggert #charles xavier #jonathan hickman #pepe larraz #marte gracia

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femchef · 5 years ago

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Suffer Bitch Ficlist

What This List Is: A collection of fics that I’ve read that absolutely fuck me up emotionally, and that I appreciated/loved/needed/have impacted me enough that I’ve saved them for re-reading. If these were paperbacks, the pages would have started falling out long before now.

That said, everything on this list has an emotional resolution (even the few incomplete ones I’ve chosen to include). Nothing on this list is the kind of emotional devastation that leaves the reader feeling empty and used* because honestly I need resolution, and I hate the type of #realism that makes me go “Well what was the fucking point, then”. This list is not comprehensive; if you’re in these fandoms, you’ve likely brushed up against them before. The majority of these authors are well-known, and some of these fics have been around longer than I’d like to be reminded.

So - what qualifies a fic for this list, anyway?

Tears and snotty sobbing. Everything on this list has made me cry and also given me emotional chills to some degree in order to make the cut.**

Before You Read: Take any warnings I list below seriously. If it’s something that will fuck you up in a bad way, then don’t read it. Don’t open the link. We all have things that are no-go’s. Full disclosure? I can’t read anything with graphic depictions of sexual assault, though mentions, allusions to, or mild/non-graphic depictions (ex. fade to black scenarios, fuzzy memory recall, etc.) don’t bother me. I take those tags and author’s notes seriously when I’m choosing what to read. Similarly, I’m pretty blasé about a lot of gore or body horror - except, specifically, when someone is rolling around in a pit of used needles (thanks for that, Saw movies). Guess what I avoid reading? In short: be a responsible reader. Don’t be self-destructive and proceed with however much caution you require.

*a life of smoke and silvered glass is an outlier and should not be counted.

**As a baseline, please keep in mind that the first time I read JRRT’s The Two Towers, I threw my book across the room when I got to the end. Also, the scene in Whale Rider where Paikea is on stage is the one time I started gross-sobbing in a movie theatre. Make of that what you will.

On to the list!

Suffer Bitch Ficlist:

(Presented to you in order of least impactful to most)

Invitation/Complication

It’s Green

Skin Deep

a life of smoke and silvered glass

Practicing Liars

Family Night

A Wicked Game

A Piercing Comfort

Loud and Clear

Humans and Ghosts

Digging for the Bones

Chivalry

In Care Of

A Year Like None Other

Stay

Under Wing

Distorting Equivalency

I’m Not Broken (I Can’t Be)

[The following are in no particular order because I couldn’t decide]

19. Sacrifices Arc

20. Phantom of Truth/Shadow of a Doubt

21. Like One Sundered Star

1. Invitation/Complication Series [Homestuck]

By saffronHeliotrope

You don’t need reminding that everyone is pairing off while you have village-bicycled your way through this group of morons as if you’d never run out of time.

It occurs to you that maybe you need new friends.

Word Count: 8,033

Status: Complete

This series contains two works, one taking place immediately after the other. Have fun angsting with Dave because he can’t seem to wrap his mind around this whole ot3 thing with John and Rose (on their wedding night, ofc). Consenting (if slightly dumb) adults and polyamory all around.

Read here: https://archiveofourown.org/series/132165

2. It’s Green [Harry Potter]

By Doodled93

Harry grows up working on his Aunt’s Garden and develops a love for it, meeting Samuel and eventually Max, who gives him a Mark of his own. This Mark is changing him, making him more different than he already was, and he loves it.

Word Count: 88,549

Status: WiP

This is marvelous kidfic - lots of good fluff. Except. You know - that one OC death that was so heart wrenching that you start bawling. The concept of magical tattoos in this fic is really nice, and Max - a prickly, rough and gruff tattoo artist is the best kind of unintentional parental mentor. The author hasn’t updated in some time, but they’ve also made a note that they’ll come back eventually when they’re ready to update to completion.

Read here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/411709/chapters/683216

3. Skin Deep [Fullmetal Alchemist]

By Batsutousai

Trisha and Van’s first child, Edith, was born a beautiful, healthy girl. The only problem? Ed knew he was a boy.

Word Count: 17,083

Status: Complete

As you may have guessed from the description, this is a mostly canon AU featuring a trans Edward Elric. I love it, I appreciate how it was written, especially that it’s not a romantic plot - and not only was I crying after the first read, but rereads still give me the sniffles.

Read here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8197400/chapters/18779738

4. a life of smoke and silvered glass [Harry Potter]

By dirgewithoutmusic

Albus Dumbledore rose to his feet, smiling at them in that way of his, like he knew something you didn’t and he was proud of you for it. “Friends,” he began.

The door thudded open and the Marauders burst in, late and pink-cheeked with cold. The headmaster smiled at them, too, and Sirius gave a cheery little salute back.

Severus sunk lower in his chair, staring witheringly over his butterbeer. “You told Potter about it, too?”

“He might as well put all that energy to good use,” said Lily. “And to be accurate, I told Remus.”

“But Potter, really?” said Severus.

“He and Black cooked up a jinx that gives you a boil every time you say a slur to a Muggleborn,” said Lily. “It was either invite them to Alice’s war club or bake them cookies, and I know where my skills lie.”

Severus sniffed. “Don’t come crying to me if he tugs your pigtails.”

“Come crying to me if he pulls yours, and I’ll deck him.” said Lily.

(Slight AU in which Severus apologizes, tries harder, and stays friends with Lily.)

Word Count: 22,794

Status: Complete

This is the Severus Snape that canon wanted. The greatest tragedy that never has to explicitly be spelled out (and the reason this fic is so heartbreaking and infuriating) is that the end results are the same.

Read here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11457669

5. Practicing Liars [Harry Potter]

By Lomonaaeren

AU of HBP. Harry found out that he was Snape’s son two years ago, and he’s carefully concealed it. But now Snape is his Defense teacher, and Draco Malfoy is up to something, and Dumbledore is dying, and the final battle is coming up, and everything is getting very, very complicated.

Word Count: 206,306

Status: Complete

Oh boy, bring on the angst. A Severitus fic with a lot of bitter, petty feelings. Half Blood Prince is such a popular point in HP canon to veer off into AU territory (for good reason), and just - the timing, the missed opportunities, the growth. Lots of feelings. Also drarry.

Read here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/990947/chapters/1955931

6. Family Night [Harry Potter]

By Celebony

As Hogwarts starts a quarterly Family Night, Harry is determined to take part. Facing the heartache of looking in all the wrong places, he’ll have to discover the true meaning of family, and that sometimes it comes from where you least expect it.

Word Count: 33,000

Status: Complete

Eventual Severitus fic. Unhealthy coping mechanisms, emotional abuse, anxiety, self-destructive behavior, angst, grief, and (eventually) healing and recovery - this fic has it all. To me, I think this is the author’s best work, but obviously I have a preference. Fans of Remus tread carefully, this story may not be for you.

Read here: https://m.fanfiction.net/s/2682144/1/Family-Night

7. A Wicked Game Series [Fullmetal Alchemist]

By Tierfal

Roy has lucked into the all-expenses-paid vacation of his dreams - all he has to do is convince a bunch of happy couples that he’s head-over-heels in love with Ed Elric. What could possibly go wrong?

[Modern!AU].

Word Count: 64,884

Status: Story is Complete, but Series is still open for possible future oneshots/additions

Currently three completed works in the series. Roy and Ed as struggling grad students who share lab space stuck in a cabin full of obnoxious couples. This story resonates so well for me, because it was the first time I read something where a character actively struggles with depression where I really felt like someone GOT IT. So, be warned - suicide mentions, depression, angst, and a lot of puns. Safe Roy/Ed, though if that’s not your jam, better take a miss.

Read here: https://archiveofourown.org/series/372113

8. A Piercing Comfort [Harry Potter]

By talithan

When Harry Potter hits the lowest point of his life so far, it is not his friends who keep him honest. With Draco Malfoy’s patience and guidance, Harry learns to stand on his own. The thing is, after the fact - he’s no longer sure he wants to.

Word Count: 44,566

Status: Complete

This fic has art by onthecount! It’s lovely. Anyway - Oh my god. When I talk about things resonating on some, soul-deep level. The way depression, and trauma, and PTSD is handled is... Well. I don’t go back to this often, but it’s because (for me) reading this fic is cleansing. Draco and Luna as therapists running a burgeoning wizarding practice is pretty great. If you couldn’t guess by reading the summary, this is an eventual drarry fic - and I’ll be upfront, if the idea of dating your former therapists squicks you out, don’t read. I like how it’s written out, it doesn’t feel inappropriate, or like any sort of power imbalance to me, but I can see where that wouldn’t be everyone’s cup of tea either.

Read here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/857495

9. Loud and Clear Series [Fullmetal Alchemist]

By Tierfal

The thing with Roy is founded on coffee snobbery and stupid text messages and seriously awesome makeout sessions in the car. Oh, and the love of a lifetime, or whatever.

Word Count: 280,924

Status: WiP

Currently there are six completed works, and one in-progress (with at least one more slated by the author). Also known as ‘The modern!AU Roy/Ed fluffball fic (of doom)’, there is emotional baggage/angst throughout that hints at darker things but nothing too dreadful until the fourth entry in the series, “Another One of Those Heartbreak Songs”. Anxiety, depression, war crimes, rape and consent (and, fyi, one of the best descriptions of what exactly enthusiastic consent IS, is in the current entry of the series, “The Boiling Point”) are all being dealt and felt in this story. Safe Roy/Ed fic that starts with a coffeehouse!AU style meetcute and follows the deepening relationship between Roy (established lawyer who works with veterans) and Ed (making the transition from struggling grad student to frazzled professor), and has a delightful dose of Al/Win tossed in. One of the most relatable things about this series is how all the terrible things about your worst relationships don’t really hit you until you’re smack in the middle of the best relationship you’ve ever had, and it’s ROUGH. Consider this your explicit warning: if mentions of rape/sexual abuse, or abusive ex’s set you off, don’t read.

Read here: https://archiveofourown.org/series/167693

10. Humans and Ghosts [Danny Phantom]

By RedHeadsRock1010

If there was one thing Danny Fenton perfected since receiving his powers, it was how to pretend.

Word Count: 26,751

Status: Complete

ANGST. Angst and neglectful parents. Angst and neglectful parents and two siblings doing the best they can. Jazz is a real MVP in this story. Also blood and gore. And torture. Oh my god. Still makes me cry. Consider this your explicit warning: if mentions of torture, or neglectful/abusive parenting set you off, don’t read. While it’s not a religious fic, the impact of the parenting codes like some of the horror stories you might have heard about being in the closet and growing up with religious parents. You have been warned.

Read here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12315771/chapters/27999459

11. Digging for the Bones [Harry Potter]

By Paganaidd

Rather than allowing Harry to stay at Diagon Alley after he blew up Aunt Marge, the ministry sends Harry back to the Dursley’s. Harry returns to school after a terrible summer, to find that he’s not the only one with this kind of secret. A student has been killed by his family. New screening measures are put into place by the Ministry: Every student must be given a medical exam and interview to look for child abuse. With Dumbledore facing an inquiry, Snape is entrusted with the task of making sure EVERYONE receives one.

Word Count: 203,178

Status: Complete

As the author warns before the fic, there is a character death in the first chapter. The story is an AU of Prisoner of Azkaban. Suicide, attempted suicide, and suicidal ideation are a big part of the story. Child abuse, death by child abuse (and the aftermath), ptsd, and the appalling effects of dementors on a castle full of kids are pretty central to the plot. Eventual Severitus. Also accidental necromancy. This is a monumental hurt/comfort fic and there are a LOT of feelings. And angst. Consider this your warning: if explicit attempted suicide, or suicidal thoughts set you off, don’t read. If mentions of physical abuse/child abuse set you off, don’t read.

Read here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/598019/chapters/1078847

12. Chivalry Series [Harry Potter]

When Harry appears at the Welcoming Feast wearing a glamor only Snape notices. Snape decides to find out what the glamor is hiding.

You, the guiltless, will pay for your father’s sins,

Roman, until you repair the decaying

Temples and shrines of the gods, and their

Images, filthy with blackening smoke.

When you act as servant of the gods, you rule:

From them all beginning, leave them the ending.

Horace, Odes III-6

Word Count: 123,467

Status: Series is marked as Ongoing, though individual stories are Complete

Welp. Angst, some explicit child abuse (specifically physically violent Vernon Dursley), grief and mourning, ptsd, accidental potions class disasters that lead to more angst, sickfic, hurt/comfort, blood, gore and violence, child neglect, and eventual found-family by way of Severitus and a developing sibling relationship between Harry and Luna. There is a lot to unpack here. The interactions between Harry, Luna and Severus are especially endearing and heartbreaking. This is your explicit warning: if explicit child abuse /physical abuse set you off, or if accidentally forced (yes, I know how that sounds) flashbacks set you off, don’t read.

Read here: https://archiveofourown.org/series/12306

13. In Care Of

By Fangs_Fawn

During the summer before sixth year, Harry finds an injured bat in the garden and decides to try to heal it... and an unwilling Snape learns just what kind of a person Harry Potter really is.

Word Count: 45,319

Status: Complete

I’m gonna be upfront with you. Vernon and Dudley Dursley are very sadistic in this story. Tread with caution. That said, along with the angst this is a very solid hurt/comfort fic that is also a reciprocal hurt/comfort fic (in that, first Snape is helped, and then Harry). It’s a nice emotional exchange. Violence - explicit child abuse and torture, grief, and a very petulant animagus. This is your explicit warning: if physical torture/violence sets you off, don’t read.

Read here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1023625/chapters/2036909

14. Like None Other Series [Harry Potter]

By aspeninthesunlight

A letter from home? A letter from family? Well, Harry Potter knows he has neither, but all the same, it starts with a letter from Surrey. Whatever the Dursley’s have to say, it can’t be anything good; so Harry’s determined to ignore it. But then, his evil schoolmate rival spots the letter and his slimy excuse for a teacher intercepts it and forces him to read it. And that sends Harry down a path he’d never have walked on his own.

It will be a year of big changes, a year of great pain, and a year of confronting worst fears. It will be a year of surprising discoveries, of finding true strength, of finding out that first impressions of a person’s true colors do not always ring true. It will be a year of paradigm shifts.

And from the most unexpected sources, Harry will have a chance to have that which he has never known: a home... and a family.

A sixth year fic, this story follows Order of the Phoenix and disregards any canon events that occur after book 5.

Word Count: 1,465,418

Status: WiP

Currently there are two completed works in this series, and one ongoing. This is a ROLLERCOASTER, omg. Terminal illness, child abuse, explicit, agonizing torture, grief and mourning, bad coping mechanisms, self-harm, self-destructive behavior - hurt/comfort out the wazoo. Eventual Severitus, this is a good, substantial found-family fic with a developing sibling relationship between Harry and Draco. I really appreciate that Severus, Harry and Draco continue to step on each other’s toes as the story moves along. They get as much wrong as they get right, and the familial development is natural. Harry does struggle a bit with the newer experience of a paternal Severus weighted by the previous years of his antagonism and petty behavior. Severus struggles with balance, Draco struggles with extremes - behavior, feelings, intrusive thoughts - it’s a very well-rounded story. This is your explicit warning: The torture is incredibly graphic, and there are needles involved. If that sets you off, don’t read.

Read here: https://archiveofourown.org/series/41198

15. Stay [Danny Phantom]

By jaeger_soul

Dash Baxter is finally a senior and this year isn’t supposed to be hard. With nothing waiting on him after graduation, he might as well sleep through his classes. He’s already got a job after high school’s over, what’s the point of reaching for anything more? He’s fine with what he has. But when ‘more’ comes in the form of a black-haired boy with similar problems to his own, can Dash really not try for it?

Word Count: 817,287

Status: WiP

This is technically a series, since the author has written one companion piece from another character’s perspective for chapter 27 of the story. Oh my god. Dash is a sweet, sweet cinnamon roll who’s just trying to muddle his way through, and terrible things happen to him. This is not Dash the bully from the canon series. The endgame ship is Dash/Danny, and it is very slow-burn. Lots of hurt/comfort in this fic, and the author’s OC’s are incredibly fleshed out and wonderfully developed. Anxiety and panic attacks are pretty heavy in this story. Small town-typical homophobic slurs, make an appearance. Teenagers having sex with other teenagers is a thing. Mentions of abortion and teen pregnancy and unwanted pregnancy all happen later on. Mentions of suicidal thoughts and attempted suicide are plot points. Abusive and abused ex partners. Child abuse - emotional, mental and physical - is the heavy hitter in this story. It is explicit and painful and heartbreaking. Consider this your warning. ABUSE. Explicit, agonizing depictions of trauma, and being used as a bargaining chip between two different but equally terrible parents - if any of that sets you off, DO NOT READ THIS STORY.

Read here:https://archiveofourown.org/series/646532

16. Under Wing [Harry Potter/Katekyou Hitman Reborn Crossover]

By Reighost

Prophesies were tricky things and lies are even trickier. Sirius’s death becomes a catalyst and Dumbledore’s lies crumple like a house of cards. Harry is left with a burning question... Who is he really? Crossover with Katekyou Hitman Reborn!

Word Count: 145,771

Status: WiP

This story goes hard on the angst right out of the gate. And I do mean hard. Oh my god. A literal mindfuck that will leave you gasping. Psychological manipulation and torture, mind rape, body horror, and non-sexual indecent treatment of a corpse to start with. However, there is a lot of good content in this hurt/comfort fic. The author has not only brought HP and KHR together but has blended elements and characters from Spirited Away, Cardcaptor Sakura and xxxHolic together in such a way that despite all the horror, there’s actually a lot of redeeming charm. You will never find a better interpretation of the Hibari family than the Hibari’s that Reighost writes about in her universes, and this story contains a flashback to the Hibari parents meetcute and it is adorable and hilarious. While this is a wip, it’s at a very good stopping point that’s more or less the end of a story arc - so don’t let the thoughts of a slow wip put you off. This is your warning: Mind-control and mind-control recovery, and gore, all quite explicit. If that sets you off, DO NOT READ. There’s a reason this story is so far down the list.

Read here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1123387/chapters/2264363

17. Distorting Equivalency [Fullmetal Alchemist]

By Ranowa Hikura

All Ed knows is that he’s been kidnapped by a madman.

Word Count: 173,000

Status: Complete

Go hard or go home. This is 27 chapters of kidnapping, explicit torture, and unethical alchemical experimentation with chimeras. All those feelings you have about Nina? Dial it up to eleven (to point out, Tucker and Nina are not featured characters in this story - unfortunately that disaster has already happened). A hurt/comfort fic with a very good resolution. Also becomes eventual Paternal!Roy and Ed. This is your warning: If explicit, repeated torture and body horror set you off, AVOID THIS FIC.

Read here: https://m.fanfiction.net/s/12116762/1/Distorting-Equivalency#end

18. I’m Not Broken (I Can’t Be) [Homestuck]

By [orphan_account]

Guys don’t get raped.

Okay, so maybe they do, sometimes. But that’s only when they’re ganged up in an alley way and shoved against a wall and get some other guy’s dick in their ass without permission. It’s forceful and bloody and masculine. At least, that’s how the media sells it.

But this isn’t rape.

When a girl buys you drinks and takes you home and crawls on top of you - well, that’s every guy’s wet dream.

When she’s grinding down onto you and her hands are holding yours to her breasts and she’s whispering filthy, filthy things into your ear, that’s not rape.

That’s not rape no matter how many times you say no.

Word Count: 33,386

Status: Complete

This is your explicit warning: Rape. The scene is non-graphic (lead-up with fade-to-black scenario) and takes place in the first chapter. Trauma, self-harm, suicidal ideation, destructive behavior, mentions of homophobia. If the summary of this story isn’t enough of a warning, then here you go. DO NOT READ if this is what sets you off. Hurt/comfort and ANGSTANGSTANGST aside, the aspect that I appreciate most about this story is how it deals with trying to come to terms with a trauma you don’t know how to articulate (to yourself or others). I don’t generally do stories that rely on miscommunication, but in this case, it makes sense: it’s less about miscommunication for the sake of plot, and more the lack of ability to articulate effectively, which. Yeah. Dark, angsty hurt/comfort that eventually ends on a positive, hopeful note. PROCEED WITH CAUTION.

Read here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/777171/chapters/1462358?view_adult=true

DUN DUN DUN - THE BIG THREE

Let’s call it a three-way tie, because there is SO MUCH PAIN in each of these stories, honestly I really can’t pick an order for them.

19. Sacrifices Arc [Harry Potter]

By Lightning on the Wave

Harry’s twin Connor is the Boy Who Lived, and Harry is devoted to protecting him by making himself look ordinary. But certain people won’t let Harry stay in the shadows...

Word Count: 3,081,000

Status: Complete

Wrong Boy Who Lived. Severitus, Slytherin!Harry. Drarry. If those are on your radar, this may be the story for you. Just beware literally everything else. Torture, mind-control and manipulation, child abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse, mental abuse, neglect, rape, cannibalism (is it cannibalism when it’s a werewolf eating a human child), trauma, destructive behavior, violent loss of limb, blood, gore, viscera, necromancy - these are just some of the explicit things that take place in the series. There are eight works in the Sacrifices Arc, and they mirror the canon Harry Potter series in that they start at mild and slightly odd and become darker and more horrifying. This is a very, very long series, and it hits a lot of milestones within the HP fandom. There are lovely moments of tenderness, the OC’s are magnificent and well-developed, and while heavy-handed from time to time, the author explores notions of morality and spends a lot of time on magical theory and world-building. If you haven’t read Sacrifices Arc and want more information, google it’s tvtropes page. I would recommend doing so just to determine whether or not the story is safe for you to read if you’re concerned about it, because there is a LOT going on. Otherwise, start with the first story in the series (“Saving Connor”) and proceed with caution. You will absolutely be wrung out before you finish.

Read here: https://m.fanfiction.net/u/895946/

20. Phantom of Truth/Shadow of a Doubt [Danny Phantom]

By HaiJu

Locked away in a secret government lab with Phantom as her subject, nothing stands between Maddie and the truth... except, perhaps, herself.

Word Count: 366,000

Status: Complete

Do you want to get fucking wrecked? Because this series will do it. Holy shit. I still can’t believe I got through it. This is so well-written and so. Fucking. Painful. The first entry in the series, Phantom of Truth, absolutely GOES THERE. The second entry is... everything that comes after. I don’t feel like it spoils anything to tell you that Maddie is not the person who captures Danny Phantom, or that she does not know he’s her son. Make of that what you will. Also, the first story does have a good resolution and does not end on a cliffhanger, so if you need to take a break after, you should. Bonding happens, and I wouldn’t call it Stockholm Syndrome, since it’s between Maddie and Danny, but I also wouldn’t say it doesn’t overlap. This story is absolute fucking angst. Shadow of a Doubt explores not only the traumatic repercussions on Maddie and Danny and their relationship, but on their friends, family, acquaintances and even enemies. There are some very good OC’s that come into play later on. You know, between all the angst and pain. Tread carefully: If you think you’ll be set off by torture and abuse, DO NOT READ THIS FIC. I cannot stress that enough.

Read here: https://m.fanfiction.net/s/7476808/1/Phantom-of-Truth

https://m.fanfiction.net/s/9683169/1/Shadow-of-a-Doubt

[It’s worth mentioning that HaiJu has an ao3, but they haven’t finished crossposting Shadow of a Doubt to their account]

21. Like One Sundered Star Series [Homestuck]

By oriflamme

Who are these shining like one sundered star?

[Like kindled lights in untempestuous heaven,

Fair flower-like stars or the iron foam of fight.]

———

Teenage superheroes deal with hormones, mental illness, and extremely secretive guardians in a world of Horrorterrors, giant mutant lucii, mob violence, nightmares of a past life, warring anti-heroes, and asshole carapacians. Sburb AU divergence from Real Men Wear Tights.

Word Count: 1,712,155

Status: Complete

Welcome to the AU of an AU that did a double reach-around back into canon and became a reincarnation AU. It’s fucking excellent and also fucking traumatic. Body horror, blood and gore and viscera, torture, emotional manipulation, mind control, child abuse, emotional abuse, unhealthy coping mechanisms, attempted suicide/suicidal ideation, codependency, alcohol abuse, just to name a significant few. This is a huge pale-tango clusterfuck and it’s glorious. The world-building is insane. Richly developed OC’s, good use of languages, images that a slowly incorporated into a story of increasing breadth and complexity - and a fucking bombshell that will hit you really, really hard about midway through the story. So much pain. Again, this is another series with a tvtropes page that you should visit if you have any concerns before reading, because there is just that much going on. There are three works in this series, two are companions to the main body of work. Proceed with caution, because this will squeeze the life out of you.

Read here: https://archiveofourown.org/series/56682

Welp.

#fic recs #violence tw #rape tw #abuse tw #literally think of a tw and insert here #proceed with caution

8 notes · View notes

athena1138 · 5 years ago

Text

i did another ask list bc i’m at a crossroads with my drawing

Single or dating?

single pringle

What do you look for in a person?

So much but also not much? I just wanna be with someone who gets me. Someone who can make me laugh and blush and who treats me nice and respects my boundaries and isn’t afraid to tell me about their boundaries. Someone who won’t manipulate me and cheat on me and then gaslight me because they don’t want to stop it. I just. I just wanna be loved, like really loved and cherished, yknow?

Zodiac sign?

scorpio :3

What Hogwarts house are you in?

HUFFLEPUFF

What shirt are you wearing right now?

I’m not, I’m wearing a little grey dress

Do you have any pets?

Me personally, yes, 1 1/2 cats (custody of my first son is in debate between me and my mother.) In my house? 2 cats and 4 dogs

Netflix or Hulu?

Netflix bc the Hulu subscrip I’m leeching off of uses ads (which is totally fine, I mean I’m not paying for it (I do intend to get off of it soon, ker, don’t let momma freak out about it. Mom’s talking about getting her own.))

Best self care tip?

Honestly? It’s cheesy but, look in a mirror, like really look for a good 2 or 3 minutes. Find 10 things about your face/body that you can say you don’t totally hate. And then when you’re done, smile at your reflection and tell yourself you’re beautiful. If you do it enough, eventually you’ll begin to believe yourself.

Any odd skills?

Idk what “odd” means. Um. I guess I remember certain things really well? Like, you wanna hear an exact conversation I had 13 years ago? Cool settle down. You wanna hear a list of 30 random and completely useless facts I’ve involuntarily collected over the years? I gotchu.

Favorite color?

Teal and mulberry

Did you play sports growing up?

I tried softball, made it through half the season before I rage quit. That was it though. I was a band kid instead. (But fam, if I had known what water polo was, you best believe I’d have been on all the teams.)

Eye color?

brown

Hair color?

brown

Any tattoos or piercings?

answered in my last list (8 earrings and a nose ring, used to have another set of lobes and an eyebrow ring, 3 tattoos)

First kiss?

I was like 11 and it was bad. Like really bad. We tried to eat jolly ranchers to make it better but it was just so bad.

Are you learning any new skills?

Digital art :3

Early bird or night owl?

night owl

Sunrises or sunsets?

Sunrises, but only if I’m already up. I’m not getting out of bed for that shit.

*pick 2 foods and make me choose*

My top 2 favorite foods are pork 包子(big fluffy Chinese dumplings) and chili. I’d choose bao every day of my life :)

Super power of choice?

Shapeshifting. But not just like into other people, more like I’d like the ability to give myself mutations. Catch me disappearing into the ocean for 50 years to go be a mermaid then catch me coming back out to be a fuckin tree or something until I’ve decided I’m ready to reintegrate into society.

Do you want to get married?

I may or may not have at least 3 dream weddings planned out in scary detail.

Do you want kids?

fuck that noise

Any siblings?

A brother 10 years older than me who I’ve disowned, and a sister 8 years older than me.

Do you drive?

Ye.

Long or short hair?

On me? I don’t care. Usually long until I have a mental breakdown and chop it all off. On other people? I especially don’t care

Oldest, youngest, or middle child?

Youngest

First 3 songs from a shuffle?

The Weed Smoker’s Dreams from Hugh Laurie, Smells Like Teen Spirit from Nirvana, Money from Ivy Levan.

Marvel or DC?

MCU but DC’s villains.

Any pet peeves?

Being rude to people, chewing with your mouth open, driving without your lights on.

Are you named after anyone?

No, but my middle name came from my mom’s best friend growing up. (Though my dad was married to a Rebecca before my mom which I think is really fucking weird that I’m named Rebecca, too? Mom swears there’s no correlation but come on.)

Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Pfft, who, me?

How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?

Depends on where I’m going. Max an hour and that’s if I need to shower and put eyeliner on.

Have you ever been in an airplane?

How about a helicopter?

What time is it right now where you live?

11:30pm

Have you ever been out of your home country?

What was the reason for your last breakup?

He left me for a minor.

What kind of phone do you have?

Samsung galaxy s7

Who is the last person you texted?

My mommy

Would you consider your name unique?

My name is Rebecca. Let that be an answer.

Do you prefer swimming in the ocean or a pool?

They both have perks. Probably a pool, I guess. I can get scared of water I can’t see through, but I do love the ocean.

Are you right or left handed?

Right

Do you wear pajamas? If so, what kind?

Nope. I either fall asleep in my clothes or I’m sleeping in a tank top and underwear (unless I’m home alone then it’s just underwear.)

What is the temperature right now?

80, and i have a blanket on.

Are you a picky eater?

Nope. I just have one thing I absolutely cannot eat and that’s anything on a bone. Oh, and ham & bean soup, gravy of any kind, and anything that comes out of the water.

Do you fear thunder/lightning?

Hell no I love that shit

Do you get homesick?

I can, but increasingly less as time goes on.

Do you wear a ring?

Nah. I have fat fingers and don’t like things on my hands. That’s part of the reason I don’t want an engagement ring is because I’d be too scared to lose it and then I’d never wear it and I’d still somehow lose it. (I wanna get the One Ring’s inscription tattooed around my ring finger.)

Favorite soda?

Cherry vanilla coke

Are both of your biological parents still in your life?

No. Dad died 9 years ago

#me #about me #shut up becca

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eternityunicorn · 6 years ago

Text

Elijah’s Eternity: Part Eight

Author: eternityunicorn

Genre: Romance/Fantasy/AU

Pairing: Elijah Mikaelson x OC

Warnings: Violence, Language, Smut (*Smut chapters marked +18)

Summary: Elijah Mikaelson didn’t know what to expect when he encountered the strange archer in the night, but he certainly didn’t think his whole world would be turned upside down by it. Yet, he quickly learns that she is more than what she seems, having come looking for an Original after a large spike in supernatural being populations started cropping up on Earth a thousand years ago. Now, he must help her decide if the supernatural community should stay on their home planet or leave it for good? A task that is made more complicated along the way, as his life is changed forever.

———————————————————————————————————

Elijah and Eternity walked over to the diner for breakfast, which would be the last meal they would have at the place. A place that held meaning to them both. They had sat in the same corner booth, away from prying eyes. The older woman that had served them the first time had been their waitress. She looked at Eternity with the same awe as she had then, performing that awkward curtesy and bow of her head with every one of Eternity’s requests. Then she would scamper off quickly in order to fulfill Eternity’s order - and his too.

The meal had been pleasant. Unlike before when their conversation had been stranger to stranger, serious and to the point, this time their conversation was light and full of quiet laughter. They showed their affection for each other openly as well. He would reach for her hand, holding it while they ate. She would lovingly smile and kiss his knuckles sweetly in return. It felt like they had been lovers for decades, despite that not being the case.

After the last meal at the diner, they discussed their destination and then returned to the manor one last time. From there, Elijah left Eternity standing on the steps of the manor to go around to the back where the garage was located and fetch his car.

Since staying in the small Maine, he hadn’t had need for it as everything was within walking distance, but of course, he had kept it handy in case he had to leave town for any reason. From the garage, he pulled the sleek black Bentley around to the front to collect his lady.

Leaving it running, he stepped out of the car and went around to the other side to open the passenger side door for Eternity. She gracefully floated down to him, redressed in a flowing yellow sundress and a pair of heeled white sandals. He watched her as she stood before the car looking impressed by it.

“Beautiful car,” Eternity said appreciatively.

“Yes, it is,” he smirked pridefully, holding his hand out to her in order to guide her into the car.

A look of mischief crossed her delicate features then. Without warning, Eternity darted off to the driver’s side of the car, it’s door still open. She grinned widely at his bewildered express. He hadn’t expected her to go for the driver’s side. By the way she looked, she wanted to drive it.

“What do you think you’re doing?” He inquired, hanging his arm on the car’s roof while looking at her incredulously.

“Get in,” she answered without hesitation. “I’m driving.”

He didn’t comply. “Do you even know how to drive?”

“Aye. Though a portal would certainly be faster.”

“Portal?”

Eternity nodded, “It’s the standard way of traveling for immortals: a wormhole that leads directly to one’s destination.”

“Fascinating,” responded Elijah. “What makes you think I’m about to let you drive?”

She smirked playfully, “I am a queen. I outrank you. Therefore, you must comply with my wishes.”

He chuckled with a shake of his head, but relented. It wasn’t as though he could argue against her when she pulled the ‘queen’ card, even jokingly so. “As my lady wishes,” he said, “but if your driving skills are atrocious, you are pulling over and I’m taking back my car. I will not have this work of art destroyed, not even by your queenly self.”

“Of course,” she agreed with a laugh. “As you wish, my lord.”

With another slightly shake of his head, Elijah climbed into the passenger seat, hoping all the while that he hadn’t made a terrible mistake. He knew they would be fine if something went wrong, but he really like his car and didn’t want anything to happen to it.

Luckily for him, Eternity really did know how to drive a car. Even better, she knew how to drive a manual car. She didn’t even need his guidance at any point, driving down the road as anyone with a lifetime of experience. Her driving was smooth and flawless. It made him curious about her experience with cars.

“I learned a long time ago, when cars were first invented,” she answered his curious thoughts. “From there, I kept up with the times, as they say. With each better made car, I learned how to drive it. A hobby of mine since I don’t actually need to know how to drive. I just happen to like all things human. They are ingenious creatures with the marvels they are capable of - and without magic. It’s impressive.”

“I agree,” he replied, looking out the window at the scenery that blew past them. “I’ve seen the marvels of humanity as they were invented for the past thousand years. They never cease to amaze. To watch humanity progress has been an honor, one positive to a long life.”

They fell into a short companionable silence from there. The roar of the engine and the quiet music of the radio were the only sounds for a time.

Then Eternity’s lightly laugh filled the cab as she said, “I have a cousin, who also appreciates the human world as I do, except she could never master the operation of human inventions, certainly not a car.” She grinned a little at whatever memory was dancing around her head. “It was always quite amusing a sight.”

Eternity had Elijah’s full attention then, not that she hadn’t before. He was always aware of her. It was just that she hadn’t mentioned a family member before, that he knew of anyway. Though in all honesty, the woman she had mentioned before, Ceres, could have been a family member for all he knew of Eternity.

“Ceres was my ancestor,” she again answered his thoughts. “My great-great-great grandmother to be exact.”

“Was?”

“Aye, she died using what has been dubbed the Unicorn Crystal, the ultimate power of the universes,” explained Eternity. “It was what she used to split the one universe into two. It takes a lot of energy, life energy to use. No queen that uses its full power once lives to use it a second time, except for myself, that is.”

Elijah was taken aback by her words. A power source strong enough to split a universe in two was incredible enough, but to learn that said power source killed it’s user in the process, and yet the woman beside him was strong enough to do what her predecessors couldn’t was unfathomable. It was damn near unbelievable. He couldn’t get his mind around such an idea; of a creature that powerful. It was impossible for an Earth man like him to grasp. Especially since she was extraordinary to be sure, but didn’t give off any indication of that kind of power capability. He expected someone of that magnitude to be less...humanlike.

“For me, a prophecy predicted my destiny as the crystal’s true master long ago. The crystal is a part of me, imbedded in my heart,” Eternity carried on, her hand touching her chest where her heart was. “Though it’s true I cannot die from using it’s full power, it is still best to use caution when to use it.”

“Why is that?”

“I forget myself completely. It’s like being rebooted - starting over; a dangerous prospect for the Universal Queen, as much as dying in fact.”

“I see. Are you absolutely certain that you are not a goddess? Because it sounding more and more like that to me.”

Eternity shook her head and smiled at him quickly, “Still not a god.“

“I think you might be in denial,” jested Elijah.

She laughed lightly as her attention returned to the road, “No, I think not.” Then she looked thoughtfully, “Although, I suppose it’s all about perspective. For example, in some worlds, there have been religions created around me because of some great deeds I did for the people of those worlds. This is even amongst immortal ones. I detest it, but I also cannot control people’s perspectives - how they see me.”

“No, none of us can do that,” agreed Elijah.

Then once more, quiet fell between them.

Until Eternity heard a certain song come over the radio, that is. She began singing softy along in perfect harmony with the artist’s singing. It was a dramatic rock song fronted by a female with classically trained talent. Both women’s voices were angelic and Elijah found himself enjoying the entertainment, even if rock music wasn’t a genre he preferred. Niklaus did though, he recalled. No, he preferred the classical music of Beethoven, Bach, and Mozart, along with other orchestral masterpieces. Yet, he enjoyed listening to Eternity belting out the lyrics to the haunting rock beat nonetheless.

She continued to sing to the radio as they headed into the next state: New Hampshire. It was as soon as they were over the border that Elijah noticed the line of police and emergency vehicles on the shoulder of the highway. The officers were heading out into the woods that lined the highway. He found himself mildly curiosity as to what has happened, but hadn’t expected to stop and find out.

Eternity had other ideas, however. Immediately she pulled onto the shoulder a little ways ahead of the rescue vehicles. She parked and cut the engine, tossing them haphazardly to Elijah. Then she opened the car door and moved to exit without a word, when he caught her hand to stop her.

“What are you doing?” He asked, not that he couldn’t guess the answer.

“I’m a guardian, a hero, whatever you wish to call it,” she replied quickly. “There is a abducted little boy in the woods out there. His kidnapper is with him, no doubt intending to hurt the child. I can save him and I will. You can accompany me, if you’d like, to deal with the perpetrator. Or you can stay here and I’ll deal with both. The choice is yours, but I’m going.”

With that, she left the vehicle, leaving Elijah to make his choice.

In reality, there wasn’t any choice. Of course, he was going to go with her. Therefore, he too climbed out of the car and followed behind her into a different section of the woods from the rescue crew. He trailed right behind her, following Eternity through the wall of foliage until they reached the heart of the woods, where it opened up.

It was under a large oak tree there in the clearing that they found the boy - and his kidnapper. The child was sitting against the tree looking up at his assailant with fear in his large blue eyes. He was malnutrition, dirty, bruised, and the scent of blood permeated the air around him, meaning he was wounded too.

The kidnapper stood over him. He was a tall, thin man, who was clean cut with graying slicked back hair and a nearly trimmed gray beard. He wore dress pants and a tucked in polo shirt. Upon close inspection, there was a level of resemblance between the two and if Elijah had to guess, they were most likely father and son. The similarities were too obvious for them not to be.

The man had a weapon in his hand - a large hunting knife! There was blood staining the silvery metal of the blade. Neither the boy or the man seemed to notice their approach, but they may have been in part due to the stealth that Eternity and he had used to find them.

Elijah watched as pathetic human moved toward the boy with the knife, looking as though he was preparing to finish the child off. It was that moment that would define the fate of the boy. Of course with a vampire and a goddess on the scene, the boy would be fine.

“Stop!” Eternity shouted at the perpetrator.

The man did, startled into acknowledging that he wasn’t alone. His blue eyes were wide with fear like the child’s and it was immediately made obvious to Elijah that he wasn’t all together, that madness had crept into him. The madman turned his weapon toward Eternity, whom stood perfectly still before him, unperturbed.

“Put the knife down,” she commanded softly.

He didn’t.

Though, despite his maddened state, his instinct seemed to recognize her otherworldliness all the same. He stood in fearful awe of Eternity. Elijah could see tears forming in the man’s eyes at the very sight of her.

“Put the knife down,” she commanded again in that same steady softness.

This time, the madman did throw the knife down. He acted as if it had burned him. Sobs bubbled up in the man’s throat, as he began to take steps backwards away from them both. Then forgetting the boy all together, the perpetrator turned and ran for it, trying to escape. A mistake to be sure, Elijah inwardly smirked.

Before he could give chase, Eternity grabbed his arm and told him with quiet seriousness, “Catch him, but do not kill him.”

It was a command of a queen, one that left no room for disobedience. He nodded in understanding and took off after the man with his vampire speed. It didn’t take long for him to catch up, finding the man sprawled on the ground a short distance away from the crime scene, after having tripped on a tree root. The bastard was just getting up when Elijah happened upon him, ready to end him...without killing him, of course.

The pathetic man seemed to sense him and quickly scrambled to his feet, turning to face Elijah while backing away in fear. “Hey man, don’t hurt me. I’m sorry. I am. Please, don’t do this,” he begged him, his voice shaking uncontrollably along with the rest of him.

In an instant, Elijah had the man by the throat, raising him above his head effortlessly. He looked darkly into the human’s cowardly eyes. “My lady told me not to kill you, and so it is by her mercy that I shall refrain from snapping you in two,” he growled, almost literally, “but that doesn’t mean that I can’t give you nightmares you’ll never forget.”

The man’s level of fear rose to terrified the moment he realized he was dealing with something other than human. He struggled in Elijah’s hold, whimpering and pleading to be released. It wouldn’t do the fool any good, of course. After a few minutes of wriggling about like the worm that he was. His sobs grew into gross crying and the smell of urine soon waffles up to Elijah’s sensitive nose, making him cringe in disgust.

Yes, it was time to end this. Lowering the pathetic sod enough to stare into his eyes, Elijah compelled the man to forget ever seeing him. He also ensured that he would spend the rest of his life seeing an unknown monster in his nightmares, hunting him down and then graphically tearing him apart over and over again. Finally, he told his captive to turn himself into the authorities. Once the task was done, he released the man and quickly rushed away from the scene, leaving the sobbing man on the ground.

Returning to Eternity, he found her, though not as the woman he knew. He found her as the strange white beast, that was her true self.

The unicorn had her head bowed over the boy, whom stared in wonder up at her the whole time. Elijah could hear the hum of the unicorn’s horn and saw a flash of it’s bright blue light, but both faded quickly. Once they did, the unicorn nuzzled the boy gently, earning a giggle from the child.

Elijah noticed the smell of blood was gone and when the unicorn reverted into the form of a woman, he saw why. The little boy was completely healed and cleaned. He was like new, as if nothing bad had happened to him in the first place.

He watched as Eternity bent down to the child and softly said to him, “You are free now, little one. There are good people coming for you. Just sit here and wait for them, alright?”

The boy nodded eagerly with a toothy grin.

Elijah could hear the rescue team heading their way already, knowing it was safe to leave the child now. “We should go,” he urged Eternity.

She nodded and with one last smile to the boy, she let him lead her out of the woods by the hand. Just as they were out of sight of the child, Elijah could hear the rescue team reach the boy. He heard one ask after the boy’s health. Yes, the boy was safe now.

Once they were out of the woods and back at the car, Elijah saw the kidnapper coming up to the officers there on the side of the road. He was sweating and flushed, but he did as he was compelled to do. He turned himself over to them.

“Good riddance,” Elijah muttered quietly.

He quickly became distracted by Eternity, who smirked at him mischievously. She held out her hand to him and said, “Keys.”

He couldn’t help but grin at her. “I think not, my lovely. I believe I’ll take it from here.”

Elijah chuckled as he watched her smile turn into a pout. The expression was so ordinary - human, and incredibly adorable on her rounded, youthful face. He kissed her lips swiftly before opening the passenger side door for her like the gentleman he was. She sighed defeatedly and gracefully climbed in without protest. After closing her in, he elegantly moved around to the driver’s side of the car, opening the door and sliding into the driver’s seat.

Once the car was started up again, they were off once more on their journey, heading west toward Chicago - their agreed upon destination. He knew a vampire clan there that he was well acquainted with. He would introduce Eternity to them, let her see an example of his people first.

“Thank you, Elijah,” Eternity piped up.

“For what?”

“For not killing that man.”

Elijah glanced at Eternity and saw that she looked over at him with gratefulness. He smirked a little in response, “Well, I had to obey the command of my queen.”

She grinned at him, “Perhaps, but you didn’t have to.”

“No I didn’t, but for you...anything.” He reached over for her hand, lifting to his lips and planting a kiss on her knuckles affectionately. “Besides, there are always more ways to deal with filth than to kill them.”

“Aye, there is.”

To Be Continued....

#elijah mikaelson #the originals #the vampire diaries #vampire diaries #ocs #my ocs #fanfics #original groupies

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kaekiro · 7 years ago

Note

That fic you wrote with sleepy Eren kissing Mikasa is golden :D. If you wouldn't mind, I would like to ask for a little sequel to that cos it feels kinda unfinished. Feel free do whatever in it, cos im not the most creative person out there but maybe a confession would be cute ^^

Bloom

Pairing: Eren/Mikasa || Rating: K || Words: 2,313 || [AO3]

Warnings: None

A/N: EEEEEE thank you so much! this is the first time I’ve done a sequel to any of my stories since I started Kaleidoscopes! In case you didn’t know, anon is referring to chapter 23, aka Onlook. I recommend reading that first for context, if you haven’t read it already :) Pls enjoy!

With time, practice, and discipline of her own, the feat of maintaining her composure had become yet another skill of hers, an “art” as Ymir had unsarcastically called it. Even in the moments following the kiss Eren had pressed to her mouth, she was quick to fill the cracks as Jean’s seat tipped and clattered to the floor. Though, perhaps it was only because of their fight that she was able to collect herself, because focusing on breaking Eren and Jean apart was certainly easier than processing his open display of affection.

His reaction upon realizing what he had done didn’t make it any better. Unlike her, he had the complete inability to hide a single thing he felt, a defining characteristic that set him apart from the rest of them. He is an open book whether he acknowledges it or not; the smiles, frowns, and tears all conveying what couldn’t be properly expressed. But he had seemed to be at a true loss for words as he stared at her then, visage unlike anything she’s seen from him.

Her shoulder collides with another, abruptly pulling her from the yesterday’s memory and closer into his personal space. Immediately she retracts, cursing their timing as they continue to wade through the crowded market. Eren adjusts his hood a little more over his head, and her, the basket she carries in her arms, neither of them acknowledging her small incident. She isn’t sure if she should be disconcerted by his silence, or if he’s simply taking Hanji-san’s rule of laying low more seriously than she would’ve thought. Either way, she can hardly keep herself from reading into it.

She never dwells on these kinds of matters, the ones that kept other girls in her barracks awake past curfew with glowing cheeks and stories of hands that roamed, proof littering their necks in the shape of bites. Though her mind would curiously drift to Eren, what happened between them couldn’t compare with any story she heard passively. It was chaste, perhaps even accidental, their kiss. Her chest feels heavier at the thought, fingers curling tighter around the braids of the basket because by knowing him, she couldn’t really believe it to be anything but an accident. Although she wills herself to forget, she chances a look at him, realizing then that he isn’t in front of her anymore. There’s a fall in her stomach and she holds back from calling his name, using her slight advantage of height to seek him out.

Her thoughts become more frantic once she reaches a small clearing in the crowd and she chastises herself for becoming distracted here - of all places - with all things -

“You really need to slow down, Mikasa. I can hardly keep up with you.”

Her gaze quickly follows the direction of his voice, and she didn’t know she was holding her breath until it came rushing out of her mouth in relief. The basket lowers in her arms, guilt coming forth as she notes the heavy rise and fall of his chest.

“I’m sorry.”

With yet another influx of people, he waves her off and wordlessly, they move forward. She firmly reminds herself to focus and follow their superiors’ instructions, becoming more alert to their surroundings with the end of the street in sight. In her effort to keep track of him, she makes the conscious decision to stay closer than before, careful not to let someone pass between them should she lose sight again.

“Are you okay?”

Someone steps on her boot and she fights the urge to sigh.

“I’m fine. Just - we shouldn’t risk getting separated again.”

“You keep bumping into me.”

“Sorry -”

“Here,” he interrupts, grasping part of the basket’s handle, gesturing for her to do the same. “We shouldn’t get lost this way.”

They both fix the weight comfortably in their hands and she becomes less tense, finding his method to be easier, better even. The sides of their palms brush with each step and she silently marvels at how smooth his feel. It makes her self-conscious of her own skin, worn, calloused; everything a woman’s hand shouldn’t feel like. Subtly, she inches her hand away from his, letting him guide as she ensures they have everything Historia had enlisted them inside the basket.

Eren suddenly halts as she continues, his grip tugging her back. They stop in front of a stand decorated with foliage, the blossoms in the lady’s arms catching her eye. The colors bear a close resemblance to the ones that she helped her mother tend to in their garden, seasonal as she knew them. Unconsciously, she searches for their aroma, inhaling softly through her nose.

“Would you like one for your lady?”

She draws a breath, response automated as this is not the first time they’ve been mistaken for a couple, but he turns to her before she can say a word, making any denial knot in her throat when he asks, “Do you want one?”

“Ah,” she fidgets with her sleeve, looking from the flowers to the items they carry, and carefully back at him. “I don’t think we have any more money left over…”

Her voice lowers a notch, speech slow in hopes that he catches her drift. But he doesn’t cause his free hand is patting over his pockets, an explicative lost in between the rustle of his clothing until he makes a small sound of triumph.

“Is this enough?”

He places the coins in the lady’s outstretched palm, watching as she counts.

“Eren -”

“Shh.”

She blinks, not quite expecting him to hush her. Despite being curious at his persistence, she knows they shouldn’t just spend money that was hard to come across in the first place, let alone save.

“…But -”

“It’s okay.”

“You don’t have to -”

“Mikasa.” She pauses, gaping at him. “Shh.”

The saleswoman looks at them with a tender face, amused.

“Which one would you like?”

He nods at the flowers when she looks at him again for reassurance, and she swallows, feeling the weight of his and the woman’s gaze as she reaches for one.

“Those are lovely, aren’t they?”

She holds it to her nose after a moment, humming her agreement into the flower. She’s never seen one of these as big, or nearly as bountiful with petals.

“It looks kind of like a cabbage.”

Both her and the woman look at Eren with expressions that make him shrink back before the latter laughs.

“I’ve never seen it that way until you pointed out, young man. It does, doesn’t it?”

He gives a kind of nervous chuckle, evidently relieved and her lips twitch upwards at the sight.

The woman thanks them for business and soon they are walking again, both of her hands now full. She studies the flower, becoming quite preoccupied until he leans over to touch the petals, clearing his throat.

“I wanted to say I’m sorry.”

She tilts her head at the apology and he elaborates, looking off to the side.

“For yesterday morning.”

Her blood warms, stomach twisting and heart beginning a familiar race. The memory had already started to clear from her thoughts, and just like that, she’s tossed back in.

“I must’ve taken you by surprise,” he says, a hand cupping the back of his neck. “And you have the right to be upset with me.”

Upset?

“It’s just -” he pauses, grimacing and clearly struggling to gather his thoughts. “My mind was hazy from the tests I did with Hanji and, well, that’s never really happened to me before. But - I won’t use that to excuse myself.”

So it had been an accident. She feels that pang again, confused at her disappointment when she had already seen it coming. Something must show on her face because he frowns, lips setting into a straight line.

“I hope you can forgive me, Mikasa.”

She wills herself to calm, builds the courage to look at him as she replies.

“I was never upset with you.”

“No?”

“No.”

“Oh.” They turn away from one another. “I thought you were walking fast earlier because you were mad. I thought you didn’t want me to come with you here.”

“I don’t feel that way. It was an accident, so… so don’t worry about it, Eren.” It doesn’t come out as casually as she wanted it to, some sadness leaking into her voice. She feels that she shouldn’t, to spare herself more pain, but for a brief second, she wonders if he noticed the hints of melancholy, wonders what he’d do if he did.

“The flower is beautiful. Thank you, Eren.” She forces a smile with the change in subject, his eyes widening a fraction before he casts them off to the side.

“Y-yeah.”

They finally start to reach the end of the street and the lack of people there is nothing short of relieving for her, and she welcomes the wave of nostalgia. Her and Eren returning home from the market, the slight winds in the road, the scent of spices and hum of the crowd as it quiets; it all reminds her of Shiganshina; the monotonous routine she never thought she’d miss so much.

They’d often walked in a comfortable silence then, but now, it feels like there’s something tense about it; she couldn’t name what it was or if it was even there to begin with. But before she can begin to think about it, her attention is caught when she sees movement in her peripheral and she slows their pace, her grip on the basket slackening.

“What is it?”

He stands beside her, trying to follow her eyes.

“Can you see it?”

“No? See what?” He searches in the wrong direction, and she tugs on the handle, prompting him to turn towards her.

“There, over there,” she says, guiding his gaze with the blossom.

The tree stands completely alone, growing where the hill begins to curve, just like to the one back in Maria. Two children chase each other around its base and she smiles. She can see herself sitting next to Eren, watching his eyes move beneath their lids as he slept.

“That… that looks like the old tree from back then!”

“Mm.”

His sigh is light, his words hardly loud enough to hear over the breeze. “I hope we can see that tree again some day.” It’s the quietest she’s heard him speak in a long time. There’s a lowness, a sort of tone that’s unique to him. It reminds her of when that same voice lulled her to sleep when she was restless, the same voice that consoled Armin when they lost his grandfather not too long after the fall. For someone impulsive and at times brash, he could be so unbelievably gentle and caring.

“We will. You’ll get us there,” she reassures, hoping he’ll believe it as much as she does.

“How can you be so sure? Everything seems to be going so wrong… what if I can’t?”

While he was overconfident in certain areas, he also had a knack for self-doubt. And who could blame him? He was right. Their problems are more complex and bigger than man-eating monsters, their enemies only increasing in number. But after everything they’ve already overcome, she supposes it’s only right to feel optimistic. It’s something he’d taught her after all, even when she thought him to be gone forever. She angles her head to the sky and with such conviction and honesty, she says, “I have faith in you.”

For the second time, he turns to her and she to him. It’s as if he’s looking for something as he studies her face, but then his eyes fall to her lips and she stiffens, becoming completely void of thought when he pulls back his hood and fills the short distance between them. The only thing she can recall with clarity is the slow second that passed when teals glanced back up to meet grey, and her lids fell permissively, blood warming and undoubtedly coloring every inch of her skin.

She finds that his lips are as soft as his hands, if not softer and it’s careful, the way they mold to hers. He pulls back some and she thinks it’s over, but then he lifts a free hand to cup her jaw and his kiss is firmer, more passionate than the last. Her hands ache to wrap around his wrist, to skim the length of his chest and neck as they become less hesitant, but she only tightens her grip on the basket and the stem, trying to find a rhythm through the clumsiness.

Goosebumps prickle her skin when he whispers her name, and with as much confidence as she can muster, she responds with a bump of her nose against his. He doesn’t move far, skimming his palm down her arm to loosely cuff her wrist with his fingers.

“Everything’s a mess right now. And I don’t always say or do the right things. But… ah, I didn’t really think this through,” he says, huffing an amused breath.

“Do you ever?” she can’t help but ask, unable to keep from teasing him. He lifts his hand to tug at her bangs, ignoring her question. He becomes serious again, clearing his throat.

“But this,” he continues, reaching down from her hair to thumb over the corner of her mouth. “I meant it.”

Her lips curl up beneath his thumb and she gives a single nod, understanding. “I’m glad.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

While his lips on hers makes her heart beat fast, almost painfully so, the kiss he presses to her cheek is endearing and leaves her head spinning, and though she buries her face in the cabbage-like flower to hide the intensity of her blush, for that moment she decides that she wouldn’t trade the feeling for anything.

#eremika #eremika art #writing #requests #the flower was a peony (my fave flower)#These flowers symbolize romance and prosperity along with good fortune!! they really need it tbh lolol poor bbies ;-;#kaleidoscopes

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dustingrayves · 7 years ago

Text

faire un petite fête

characters; elsword, raven, eve, elesis, add, lu, ciel rating; T wc; 2055 au; mafia cws; smoking + the usual mafia stuff, though this is very mild notes; hi! its finally time to post this!! this was written for the elsword halloween-mafia collab, you can check it out HERE and read other fics from there and see all the amazing art!! please check it out!!

“My eyes hurt, this is bullshit.”

There’s a heavy sigh coming from the other end of Seraph’s earpiece, followed by a deep inhale and a bubbling sound. She scoffs at her partner, even though he can’t see her. “Smoking again?”

A pause. “That has nothing to do with you, Seraph,” he mutters, “I just need something to keep me sane while looking at this stupid green shit. What do they even want us to do at this point, the security is down and the team is probably already on the way back.”

“You’re a hacker, and hackers get a black terminal with green words. Like all of us, now shut up,” she grumbles, and for a second, just a miniscule second, she thinks it worked, but then Esper’s deft fingers show off how fast they type and before she could even think about the goal of his work, her terminal blacks out. It comes back alive just as fast, but instead of the familiar and calming green illuminating her face, the words glare at her with that disgusting shade of purple she was forced to grow accustomed to.

“I prefer black and purple, thanks,” Esper says, going back to his pipe to let her undo the nonexistent damage.

Her lips form a tight line. “Of course you do.”

A knock comes from Esper’s side of the call and she can practically see him perk up, exhale the chocolate-tasting smoke and stand up to go open the penthouse door. She checks all her histories and makes sure to save today’s logs onto one of her disposable USBs before deleting it.

“Hey Seraph,” an energetic voice greets her when Esper returns, moving to save and delete his own logs. “Still don’t understand how you guys do this. Like, this is just a slew of numbers.”

A soft slap. “Let go of my keyboard, Infi!” Esper hisses, irritated, “All these numbers say ‘fuck off.’”

“The security also said ‘fuck off’, but you think that stopped me?”

“Who exactly do you think stopped the security in the first place, huh?”

“My irresistible charms, of course.”

“You don’t have a single redeeming quality about yourself, much less a charm, you dope.”

The boys continue chatting, throwing around meaningless insults, but Seraph decides she has had enough and disconnects from the secured line with only a ‘See ya.’ She misses both the answers as she puts her headphones down and stretches.

Working with that guy never ceases to get to her, no matter how much she insists she doesn’t care. He’s just so annoying… But the mafia pays well and he might help them track her if she ever decided to switch to someone else. He might be annoying as hell, but even she can’t write off his tracking skills.

It’s not like they’re friends, barely acquaintances, but it’d be best to stay on civil terms.

For now.

“So, why’d you crash here?” Esper asks, offering to pass the pipe. Infi takes it and takes a long drag, marveling at the surprisingly rich chocolate flavor the smoke carries.

“Well, to steal your tobacco, for one,” he says, taking another long drag. Esper snorts, fingers tapping on his (admittedly cool) light-up keyboard at the speed of… something. Definitely faster than Infi can.

“If I find even one package missing, I’m personally hiring a deep web hitman.”

“Aw,” Infi feigns sadness, but it’s quickly forgotten in lieu of another long drag, his lungs filling with the smoke and calming his nerves. Not that he’d consider himself a smoker, but passing up tobacco this good should be a crime. “Anyway, I’m here for a debrief, telling you you did a great job, yada yada. Seraph too, but she’s gone.”

“Yeah, she doesn’t much care for this stuff.”

“You don’t, either.”

“Eh,” Esper shrugs. He holds out his hand for the pipe and takes it from the redhead. “If I ever said I hate your mug, your sis would rip me a new one.”

“You don’t really hate my mug.”

“Nah, I’ve seen worse. Like your sis’.”

“I won’t tell her that, but only because we’re friends,” Infi laughs.

Esper’s tone carries a heavy tone of sarcasm as he says, “I appreciate it.”

“Anyway,” Infi mutters after a while, having made himself comfortable on Esper’s couch like every time, “Sis is meeting with the Crows on Saturday—”

“A weird day for a meeting.”

“—Yeah. But anyway, I want you to come with. La Diabla is coming too, along with her… boy toy? And I’d feel much better with someone who can rig up an explosive in case something goes south. Or un-rig it. Whichever.”

“Aw, and here I was, thinking you wanted me for my beauty, and you just want to exploit my collection of chemicals,” Esper snorts, but none of his words carry any heat. “I’ll go.”

“I think others would appreciate your ‘beauty’ more.”

“Fuck, dude, if anyone can appreciate my three day tank top and sweats, I’d be surprised.”

“Which reminds me, you will wear something appropriate, won’t you?”

“I’ll think about it.”

“If you come in a t-shirt and shorts I’ll let sis shoot you.”

“Her aim is shit.”

“Fair enough. Even my aim is better than hers.”

“You just don’t have enough concentration to stabilize it.”

“Well, mister smartypants, you don’t even have the upper arm strength to shoot one.”

“First of all, rude. Second of all, not true. And third of all, who needs a gun when you can have an explosion?”

“Sane people.”

“Aww. Nevermind then. Never qualified for one.”

“I can’t believe I’m doing this,” Esper mutters, glaring at his reflection in the passing window. “Last time I wore a suit was when I killed my father.”

“Good memories, huh?” Krim jabs, taking her attention off her call for but a second. She had been on call for over half an hour now (more than enough for Esper to set up his explosives around the only two exits of the warehouse), though mostly quiet and listening to whatever the other person has been babbling about. Esper doesn’t care.

“Actually, yeah.”

Krim’s expression darkens for a split second, looking at him with something unreadable. Not uncommon, when it comes to him.

“Don’t look at me like that,” he bites, “Forget I said anything.”

The Commander is a fearsome man, with reputation preceding him by a mile or ten. Looking at him for the first time, aside from photos and low quality footage, Esper has to admit if it weren’t for years of expertise in the whole mafia/gang/whatever the hell they were, he still isn’t sure — sometimes the bosses act like goons, quarreling with the others, and sometimes they’re working like a switzerland watch — he would feel intimidated.

Instead, he just keeps to the shadows, fingering the fuse in his pocket, thumb running over the smooth surface of the buttons. It’s not that he would like to be stuck in a half-blown-to-high-heavens warehouse, but both Krim and Infi have been very adamant about the security measures.

They — he — end up being completely useless. The Commander drinks his polite glass of wine, brings out the cash Krim had demanded, and then turns his attention to La Diabla, looking the most out of place of them all, with her beautiful gown-like dress and hairdo fit for a runway.

Her… assistant… stands like a soldier a few feet over, the only one she had brought. That knowledge alone is more than enough to pique Esper’s curiosity, and he moves over to him, instantly grabbing his attention.

The man’s expression is unreadable, even moreso with the mask (which is, again, very unfit for a place like this, but for a completely different reason than La Diabla’s getup) obscuring half his face already. His eyes follow Esper’s every movement.

“Is she always like this?” Esper asks. The man cocks his head to the side as if in a question. Esper sighs. “This… pretty? Does she always go out of her way to look like she’s up for a modeling shoot in thirty minutes?”

This explanation seems to finally get through to the tall man. (Which, Esper begrudgingly seeths at. He’s already tall enough, no need to go the extra mile, right? Fuck you, taller people.) “That’s how she looks like,” is the simple answer.

“Uhhhh-huh…”

“Lu is beautiful.”

“And pays you a lot to say that too, huh. Wait, Lu?”

“Lu,” the other man repeats.

“Wait a sec right there— Is she…? No way, holy fuck. I knew she was familiar.” Fucking Luciela R. Sourcream, right here, under the fake name of La Diabla. Who would’ve fucking thought? Great, no wonder she only brought one man along.

Esper glances over at Infi, wondering if he knows. He’s got to, right? He does business with her.

Then again, she does look completely different right now that on any of the magazine covers that praise her almost-childlike appearance. Holy shit… This knowledge would sell for millions on the black market. Millions and… millions in bounty, too. Esper shudders inwardly at the thought of having to jump countries again to escape the persistence of mercs after a few easy millions.

“I’m Demonio.”

Esper is snapped out of his thoughts by the man’s voice. It still feels too gruff, like he’s unused to speaking much. Which he probably is, thinking about it. “Esper,” he replies.

Demonio gives him a nod and then goes back to looking presently dead inside. “I hate meetings like these.”

“Why’d you come, then?”

“Lu said, so I did.”

“Do you do everything she says?”

“Yes.”

“That’s kinda shitty,” Esper muses quietly. “But I hate these meetings too.”

“Why are you here, then?”

“Infi asked me to.”

“Do you do everything he asks?”

“No. But he’s a friend, y’know. We help each other out.”

Demonio makes a small humming noise in the back of his throat. “That’s nice.”

“Are you doing anything tonight?” Esper finds himself asking before he can even think about it. He wants to smack himself right after, but Demonio, despite what the name should suggest, seems like a nice guy who could use a little escape.

“Lu is shooting.”

“Uh—”

“Magazine.”

“Right…”

There’s silence, and Esper thinks that’s all there is to the conversation, but Demonio turns to him with a tilt of his head, as if he’d been waiting for Esper to elaborate on his question. “Why?”

“Well— There’s a good Chinese restaurant a few blocks from here, and they’re having an all-you-can-eat tonight. Me and Infi are going— And, frankly, you look like you should get something into your stomach.” Esper doesn’t really have the right to say something like that, but hey. Whatever.

Demonio looks down at him almost absently, leaning on his oversized sniper rifle — which Esper still doesn’t understand. They’re inside.

“That’s me extending the metaphorical olive branch. Y’know, friendship and all.”

“I’ll ask—”

“It’s alright,” come a lull of a voice, high pitched, silky and almost snake-like. Esper tenses up, eyes flitting to La Diabla. Shit. She must’ve heard. Demonio still looks as nonchalant and unbothered as ever, looking at her with confusion. “Go, dear, I can take care of myself one night.”

All the eyes inside are on them, now. The Commander’s, boring through and assessing; Krim’s, confused; Infi’s, mildly amused; and La Diabla’s, of course, seemingly even thankful as she looks at Esper.

He regrets agreeing with Infi to come. His fingers are still curled around the remote, itching to press a button and go hide somewhere during the explosions. He could’ve been at home, watching some stupid thing on Netflix and ignoring job offers instead of here, kindling friendship with the most well known assassin this side of the globe.

God, he really can’t wait to get home and get a cup of coffee. But then again, this is his life. And he hadn’t been shot or skewered on a blade yet. (Yet.) That’s a win in his books.

“Great. Anyone else who wants to tag along to the Chinese with us?” he asks, half rhetorically and full-on exasperated.

He doesn’t expect it in the slightest when the Commander grins and opens his mouth. “How good are their spring rolls?”

Oh Jesus, Mary and Joseph. This is gonna be one hell of a dinner.

#elsword #diabolic esper #infinity sword #veteran commander #diabla #eso's fics #i had sm fun with this and the collab looks great! pls check it out!!!!!

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itshaykuni · 5 years ago

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ON HOW I FELL IN LOVE WITH READING

“Read. If you have finished reading something, read more.” This is what I used to hear when I was a little restless schoolgirl whose mind was full of vivid dreams and fantasies. For a child whose tiny brain was fully occupied by imaginary universes and characters, there was no space left for those created by someone else’s imagination. And since my eyes were always in search of something close to my imaginary worlds - colorful, engaging, breathtakingly adventurous - staring at the dull wooden white pages filled with nothing but black letters seemed to be a torture to me.

On the other hand, I was the youngest in my family and in the circle of friends, and to be taken seriously, I had to gain authority and trust among them. So I was looking to be an excellent student and reach farther than my peers to establish my authority. And I knew - reading is something that brilliant kids do, whereas the weaker ones hate, so I have to do it as well. This would be a huge additional bonus on my way of getting praise and trust.

This attitude was my first and biggest misconception about reading - doing it only to get praise and recognition, not delving into the mesmerizing new worlds yet undiscovered by me. And alongside this rather toxic attitude, I stumbled upon a serious problem in my elementary school years. Regardless of the fascinating speed, as claimed by my teachers, at which I could process any information I was given, I soon noticed a thing that started to worry me more with each passing year. I was always the last to finish reading something in my class. Reading one page took me 2 times more than my peers. My mother's first response to this was, naturally, that everything was fine, and my classmates were just too lazy to read every word of every sentence. That is why, she’d say, I could process information better than them - because I read everything thoroughly. Her explanation sounded convincing enough. It was only 15 years later that I came across the term ‘dyslexia’.

With time, I noticed that, after reading a couple of pages in a row, I was feeling physically tired, even though I was an eternal engine as a child. It felt like I had sprinted a couple of kilometers with my tiny legs. Dizziness, low levels of energy would play cruel tricks with my eyes and brain. With each passage, it was becoming harder for me to connect one word with another, sometimes I would spend a minute to see and read one word. Not that the letters jumped around as rabbits, just keeping the attention on the character deciphering was hard. And it sucked, I felt an extremely unpleasant discomfort.

Physically painful and heavy - a human will do anything to avoid a task that has these two qualities, at least for as long as that human is at middle school. And if reading takes those qualities upon itself, adding even a grain of dullness to a text can instantaneously make finishing it impossible. Whatever our teachers assigned to read were particularly uninteresting - none of the stories about simple village boys and their grandfathers related to me - a girl who had never been in a rural community and, in her fantasies, was riding a green-scaled dragon over the mountain forests and exploring the seas with Sinbad on a longship with enormous sails. And the poems about our favorite Holy Mountain would literally drive me crazy. Literature classes mostly seemed bullshit to me, and I wasn’t sure if I was right or if I just couldn’t find and see and understand the beauty in those pieces.

At high school, I gave up on pleasing the grown-ups and getting out of my own skin to be an excellent student. Instead, I started to explore my own likes and dislikes, thus not feeling too obligated to read whatever we were assigned. Even though the authors and literary pieces we studied diversified a bit over time, I admitted one simple truth - Armenian literature was not for me. So I started to give attention to stories that were able to capture my attention. Still, whatever interested me the most wasn’t translated into my native language, making reading way more difficult and even slower than usual, no matter how well I could comprehend the language. And as a top cherry, I was a dramatic teenager more interested in socializing, getting stories first-hand from real people rather than closing up in a room and staring at the pages of heavy books.

As I was graduating from high school and applying to a bachelor's degree, I had to do a ton of obligatory reading, having left no time and desire to find something that would truly relate to me. Things started to slowly change by the variety of books offered on the internet and my improved skills in foreign languages. I had the opportunity to explore online libraries as a student, but still, no matter how deep I searched, none of my findings would really come close to my heart. And my reading speed just didn’t seem to improve with time, which was truly enraging me.

With my ‘Oh well, okay’ reaction to whatever I read, soon I thought I had to accept the fact that reading simply wasn’t enjoyable for me and come to terms with that once and for all. So, I abandoned my attempts of forcing myself to like reading and allowed myself the luxury to only read whatever I really wanted, whenever I wanted it and for as much as it was light and enjoyable. Instead, visual media is what I could swim in like a fish. As I fell in the addictive loop of mindlessly checking social media pages and quickly found my way out of it, I discovered invaluable resources on the way like TED Talks, online courses in history, art, psychology, design, photography, videography, journalism, and even literature. These platforms opened new galaxies for me. As I explored so many new topics, global social problems and authors, I soon started to figure out my taste in everything, literature as well.

Due to self-reflection that had grown roots during my high-school years and gradually increased over time, I realized something incredible. My emotional intelligence and non-verbal communication (especially analyzing and understanding the latter) had grown unbelievably. I surely knew it wasn’t only due to growing up, and not the “enormous” experience from communicating to different people. It was also the reading’s doing. I glanced back upon some of the authors I had read- Weber, Hesse, Palahniuk, Akutagawa, Mayne Reid, Christie and Doyle, Fitzgerald, Phillip Dick and many others. To be honest, very often the real value and meaning of the books I read would come to me much later after certain events had taken place in my life. No matter how slow I’d read, no matter how uninterested I was in the obligatory literature, no matter that over 15 years I hadn’t been able to find a book that I would actually like, literature had a great influence on shaping my personality, empathy and perception. That brought hope back to me - perhaps I wasn’t as pitiful as a literature person as I thought I was.

Soon I stumbled upon several books from reading which I received a marvelous experience. The first one was just a 300-page self-help book I purchased in Berlin. Even though it was way far from being a literary masterpiece, I was in need of those pieces of advice and reminders, so it only made a positive influence on me. What mattered the most, though, was the speed with which I finished the book - 10 days only, during travel! That was a personal record for me that raised my hopes a level higher - hopes that I’ll be able to read a book (with normal speed) and enjoy it like normal people do.

After that, I again abandoned my attempts to commit to reading. But one fine spring day when I was browsing my YouTube recommendations, I found a stunning documentary about the most impressive bookstores in the world. In it, the author Mas Joseph shares his anxiety about reading and his endless love for books and bookstores. Nothing could relate me more than this film. In fact, it relates to me to the point where I was crying over the sights of the enormous bookstores that exist to bring us millions of new worlds, realities, fantasies, ideas and invaluable information. “I just found my church,” I thought to myself, “bookstores should be the real churches, the real centers to connect to the higher powers of the universe, not the lifeless cathedrals that have nothing to offer but a stunning architecture. Bookstores contain all the wisdom of the world, and it’s worth it to spend our lives exploring those pieces of wisdom.”

I came across another book that I enjoyed reading from the first sentence to the last. It was a super-captivating detective story that developed around Istanbul’s cultural heritage - something I’ve had a great interest in recent years. But the book was rather heavy - almost 800 pages. And since I still wasn’t getting used to a high-speed committed reading, it took me about a year to finish it. I had abandoned the book a couple of times before, not because it wasn’t engaging enough but because I wasn’t able to commit to finishing it. But it was such a joy when I did, and realizing I had guessed the killers correctly from the very beginning really excited me.

Being so inspired, I set my mind on making reading a daily habit and decided to go back to the most interesting books that I had abandoned and finish those as well. As a result, I read 30-90 minutes every day, finished 3 books in a month and even fell in love with one of them - “The Last Wish” by Andrzej Sapkowski, a collection of short stories about Geralt of Rivia, the famous Witcher that instantly captures gamers’ hearts. The obsession with the Witcher universe and my excitement of improving reading skills brought me a new challenge - to commit to reading all the books of the series. Currently, I’m on the 2nd tome, “Sword of Destiny”, and I’m totally loving it! The book is with me wherever I go, despite the heaviness of my bag.

Nothing can be compared to stare at the dull black characters written on the yellowish pages and hallucinate like you’ve swallowed a mushroom. The more I read, the faster my reading rate gets, and my imagination enhances, giving me a wider variety of colors, perspectives, patterns and settings to explore the story in. Reading is not about getting acquainted with the story and learning what happened eventually. And by no means, it is about getting recognition and appraisal. It’s an experience that fully activates my brain, and when I say fully, I mean it. I can hear each character’s voice, the subtle trembles of their speech, see the goosebumps when the wind softly runs over their skins, I can smell the stinking corpse or taste the delicious freshly-baked cheese-pie in the noisy inn where Slavic traditional music is playing. I can see the subtle mimics when characters flirt, and how they cross their legs, and how a person not related to their story is silently watching them from the corner.

Only now I can genuinely believe the famous quote by George RR Martin:

“A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies. The man who never reads lives only one.”

#itshaykuni #personal #reading #anxiety #books #bookworm #literature #development #words

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fyexo · 8 years ago

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(TRANS) 170417 Mogujie Interview with Lay

Mogujie interviews Zhang Yixing | The Hardworking Zhang Yixing never earns his living through his looks! There’s definitely a good reason behind the astounding rise in the number of his fans in recent years. Zhang Yixing, whose nicknames range from “little lamb” to “master of silliness”, has been known for his earnest efforts in public welfare, his humility and sincerity, how he treats everyone around him with care, and how down-to-earth he is in his job. While it may seem that our society now is greatly centered on one’s appearance, he still believes that working hard is far more important than a person’s looks! Today, Gugujiang (a Mogujie journalist) had the opportunity to interview the very busy Zhang Yixing! Want to know more about what we discussed? Let’s have a look! Zhang Yixing is here to say hi to all of you! (I’ve listened to it over 20 times, how about you?) [Yixing’s recording] Hi everyone on Mogujie, I’m Zhang Yixing~ You have to admit, the year 2017 belongs to Zhang Yixing! Our Yixing won this year’s All-rounded Artist of the Year Award at the 2nd China TV Quality Drama Awards this year, where he looked astonishingly handsome decked out in an all-black suit at the ceremony, thereby humbly accepting and reaping the first of his “fruits” of 2017. Zhang Yixing, who has had his hands busy collecting awards, also recently bagged home two big awards himself at the 5th YinYueTai V Charts Awards; with his solo original album Lose Control, he brought home the two big awards Album of the Year and Best Male Artist! For someone who has just released his first solo album, this is unbelievable results! We are so proud of his amazing achievements. From the composition of his own music and lyrics, to the producing of his own music, he could only sleep a few hours a day in that period of time, working so hard just to produce a work of his sincerity for his fans. Not only does our Yixing sing immensely well, his dancing skills also renders everyone speechless. Zhang Yixing, who has put in a lot of hard work in his dancing skills since a young age, seems to take on a different persona once he starts dancing; he really melted my heart! Do you remember Yixing’s “Wet Dance” at the annual Countdown Party concert on Dragon TV? You could become pregnant just at a glance, he was so sexy that he killed all of us! His choreography, which was the combination of power and beauty, coupled with that sweet voice unique to Zhang Yixing himself, has made every performance of his a grand ceremony of sights and sounds. Yixing once said that he hoped to mark the dawn of China’s music industry, and with all the effort he has put in through the years, step by step, he has indeed done so. Now, other than being a singer, Zhang Yixing has also joined the ranks of actors! In the 2016 drama To Be A Better Man, which earned great ratings, he played the role of the sweet and cute “Xiao Cai”. He could melt your heart with how adorable he was in every scene he appeared in. Let’s now move on to the famous topic of the role he played in The Mystic Nine. His role as Er Yuehong allowed the audience to see Yixing as the multi-faceted actor he is; instead of just being a sweet muddle-headed teenager new to love and relationships, his stellar performance in this role showed that he is a true actor who can also marvellously execute scenes of wrath, power, deep feelings, sorrow and pain. Yixing’s newest drama production, Operation Love, will be released on April 24th this year! Zhang Yixing will be showing us two different images of the same role in this drama - Yan Xiaolai both as a student and as a mature suit-donning adult. Anyone could be blinded just by seeing a few immensely handsome pictures of him from the shoot~ Our little lamb can melt your heart with just a scene from the drama! Let go of that girl (the actress in Operation Love, referring to the gif below) and come to me right now! On the topic of how there are some who still doubt the maturity of Yixing’s performance as an actor, our Yixing gave a most humble and sincere response. “I don’t recognise myself as an actor. I have worked hard and have been lucky to receive good roles to play. Ultimately, what’s most important is the audience’s opinion [of my acting]. When they say you can act well, you can recognise yourself as an actor then. I hope that everyone will give me more chances in the future, I will continue to work hard.” He said. In the media industry today, many artists have proven to be impatient in becoming famous as quickly as possible. It is thus refreshing to see that Zhang Yixing is an artist both humble and earnest, earning him the moniker of an idol filled with positive energy! Last year, he donated RMB 1 million to his alma mater, contributing to the school’s arts scholarship fund, to encourage his juniors to work hard and realise their dreams. Despite his waist injury, Yixing even went to visit children living in the poorer areas of his country, bringing them warmth and joy. As an artist who loves his fans, he told his Xingmis, “If you see me on the streets and you want to say hi, don’t be afraid to, just go ahead, whenever and wherever. But really, you don’t have to come to the airport to see me, I don’t want anyone to fall or get hurt or hurt others just to see me. Your parents will be worried.” As an artist who also takes care of his backstage crew, he even uses his own chopsticks to give food to his backstage crew when they are eating together. As an artist who also respects his seniors in the industry, he has been praised by famous senior actor Liu Xiao Ling Tong as someone who is very polite and courteous, always bowing and greeting his seniors. His senior, Huang Lei, who starred in Go, Fighting with him, also once praised Yixing for all the hard work he has put in as an artiste. When I received the task of interviewing Zhang Yixing, I was so excited that I couldn’t stop myself from asking him to do the 30 Quick Question and Answer exercise with me. But I was also concerned that he could be too busy (and therefore may have to cut short the interview) so I told him to just pick some questions from the list. However, our open and sincere Yixing answered them all! It was so touching I almost cried! Come on, let’s take a look at it! There’re so many interesting and exciting facts too! Mogujie interviews Zhang Yixing Mogujie: Do you usually edit your photos before you post them? Zhang Yixing: I’ll use a filter. Mogujie: What did you recently post in your group chat with friends? Zhang Yixing: I don’t have group chats with friends. Mogujie: How often do you change your profile pic on Weibo? Zhang Yixing: I don’t change it. Mogujie: How would you rate your singing skills? Zhang Yixing: It depends. Mogujie: Who did you last call? Zhang Yixing: I forgot. Mogujie: A song you must sing at KTV? Zhang Yixing: Forever Love (by Wang Lee Hom) Mogujie: A word to describe your looks? Zhang Yixing: Okay. Mogujie: How heavy is your idol baggage? (ie. pride as an idol; how highly you think of yourself because you’re an idol/how much pride do you have as an idol/how willing are you to do silly things or say silly things as an idol) Zhang Yixing: What is idol baggage? (He’s joking.) Mogujie: How do you express your love for your family? Zhang Yixing: Through my actions. Mogujie: What do you do when you’re not working? Zhang Yixing: When am I ever not working? (He’s joking.) Mogujie: Favourite food/dish? Zhang Yixing: Any Hunan Cuisine. Mogujie: Food you’ll never eat? Zhang Yixing: I don’t have one yet. Mogujie: A word to describe your dressing style? Zhang Yixing: Comfortable. Mogujie: Sportswear or suit? Zhang Yixing: Comfortable. Mogujie: T-shirt or dress shirt? Zhang Yixing: Comfortable. Mogujie: Briefs or boxers? Zhang Yixing: I think guys mostly wear boxers…? Mogujie: What do you have most in your closet? Zhang Yixing: Slip-on shoes. Mogujie: Where do you want to live most? Zhang Yixing: Changsha (his hometown) Mogujie: Have you gone for overseas trips where you went for it once it had been said? Zhang Yixing: I’ve only gone for work activities where I went for it once it had been said. Mogujie: Video games or Basketball? Zhang Yixing: It depends. Mogujie: Coffee or tea? Zhang Yixing: Tea, recently. Mogujie: Do you shower in the morning or at night? Zhang Yixing: Both. Mogujie: What’s the style of your home design? Zhang Yixing: That depends on the style of that hotel design, because hotels are my home. Mogujie: What have your dreams been about lately? Zhang Yixing: I’ve been sleeping pretty well lately. Mogujie: When did you realise you had a talent in acting? Zhang Yixing: I will, in the future. Mogujie: What’s the hardest line you’ve had to say? (in his drama programmes) Zhang Yixing: It’s too long. Mogujie: If you weren’t an artist, what would you do? Zhang Yixing: Backstage music production. Mogujie: Are you more active or more passive when it comes to love and relationships? Zhang Yixing: It depends, I can be both. Mogujie: What do you think is the most romantic proposal? Zhang Yixing: If I tell you I won’t be able to use it in the future and I’ll have to think up a new one (laughs) After reading Mogujie’s interview of Zhang Yixing, don’t you love this warm-hearted little lamb in the media industry even more? What? You haven’t had enough? Well, it’s okay, we still have another round! Please comment questions you’d like to ask Yixing, and I’ll pass them along to him on everyone’s behalf! Lastly, don’t forget to support our Yixing in his new drama production Operation Love, which will be released on April 24th! We’ll see you in the next issue!

trans: fy-exo | source: mogujie please take out with credits.

#exo #lay #t: interview #trans

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idolizerp · 6 years ago

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LOADING INFORMATION ON AURORA’S MAIN VOCAL YOUNG EUNJO...

IDOL DETAILS

STAGENAME: N/A CURRENT AGE: 22 DEBUT AGE: 19 TRAINEE SINCE AGE: 13 COMPANY: Midas SECONDARY SKILL: N/A

IDOL PROFILE

NICKNAME(S): fairy princess, pixie, thumbelina INSPIRATION: having discovered a love for singing and songwriting at a young age, eunjo knew that walking the flowered path of an idol was right for her. instead of chasing fame, all she wants is to do what she loves, and have that be that. furthermore, she’s inspired by plenty of former girl groups that have since disbanded, and that still exist, and hopes to leave a mark on the world much like they did, and continue to do, too. SPECIAL TALENTS:

pansori: eunjo can perform contemporary songs in the beautiful pansori style, and though she finds it really pretty naturally, she mostly does this for comedic purposes.

voice acting: during free-time in middle school and high school, eunjo used to take the time to practice doing voice impressions of many famous characters in animation. some of her best, and most notable, include: jigglypuff from the pokémon franchise, princess peach from super mario bros, most of the disney princesses, and now, all of her group-mates. this, too, is utilized for comedic purposes on tv and in fan-meets.

guitar: after having found her mom’s coveted six-string acoustic guitar at a young age, eunjo began taking lessons to play the instrument in hopes of feeling closer to her now deceased mother. needless to say, she fell in love with it, and she’s gained many years of knowledge about the instrument. so much so, that her skills are quite impressive. whenever aurora gives an acoustic set of one of their songs, she’s always seated with her guitar in her lap, and has become known for being multi-talented in that realm.

NOTABLE FACTS:

eunjo graduated from school of performing arts ( sopa ), and while there, she studied practical music in efforts to expand her vocal technique and guitar skills.

she has an extensive collection of hello kitty merchandise, but mostly plushes.

eunjo has the dream of one day being a voice actress in an animated film or series.

IDOL GOALS

SHORT-TERM GOALS:

some of eunjo’s short-term goals include expanding her singing range in order to perform higher belts on title tracks, begin the process of writing her solo début with midas media’s writing team, and after doing so, hopefully landing a leading role or two in a stage musical — in korea, or in other parts of the world. she truly wants to be known as a competent singer, and someone with an outstanding voice, so her efforts are going to proving herself in that field even further.

LONG-TERM GOALS:

after a hopefully lucrative and extensive career as a vocalist, — first as the main vocal in aurora, a solo artist, and later, a star of stage musicals — eunjo hopes to settle down with a husband and children. most of her younger years were spent at work, so she plans on traveling for pleasure in her later life; eager to learn more about the world around her. while she appreciates the recording industry and all it’s done for her, she’d want to live a more humble life in the future; one where she can look back fondly on her life as an idol and feel glad that she did it, but feel equally happy that it’s all over with now.

IDOL IMAGE

poise, grace, elegance, ethereality… all are words that one young eunjo beautifully fits: the length of her princess tresses that spiral down the length of her back, the curled tips of her eyelashes, the pearlescent alabaster hue of her fair skin, the posture with which she stands on red carpets, and the soft hums that lilt from betwixt roseate lips as she listens to another person speak; each syllable sinking into her ears as she digests the information that is given to her. all of this radiance, all of this glitter and glamour, was passed down to her from her mother — one that was known to not only be physically captivating, but almost angelic in nature, too. all of her relatives dote on her for that reason, and though she’s the youngest in her family, she’s the closest thing they all have to the woman who birthed them. however, the love that’s given to her in droves doesn’t stop exclusively at those she’s related to, no. after all, it’s hard not to fall for someone so soft, and so bright. there’s a sweetness about her; one that’ll give anyone that’s around her for long enough a toothache, but the pain felt is always endured. it’s strange how one girl can carry so much celestial energy, but it’s what swathes her, and it’s also what’s guided her to the life she leads today.

however, not all are bewitched by her myriad of charms, no. there are individuals who find her positive energy irritating beyond belief, and who possibly cannot stand her strange, syrupy disposition that she deems is natural, but in truth, that isn’t necessarily accurate. she bends over backwards for people and flitters about like a sprite because she so desperately wants to be liked; her need for applause and praise like tinkerbell in j.m. barrie’s ‘peter pan’ — she needs them to live. being given so much attention as a child has left her insatiable for it as an adult, and its hard to for people to tell the difference between manageable cane sugar and saccharine artificial sweetener when beholding her, but the one upside to this downside is that, for midas media, she’s easy to market out the general public, and whether or not she’s positively annoying is subjective to them; so long as she’s able to turn a profit, she’s good in their books. the korean entertainment industry is a growing business, after all. with that in mind, they’ve decided to portray her as the untouchable girl that men and women fall in love with in films — the high school crush that ends up with the protagonist at the end of the movie, the stunning damsel in distress in need of saving, the princess who’s hand is being competed for, but most of all, the manic pixie dream girl. all of this is not only due to her delicate disposition, but for her effortless beauty, too. luckily, this is an image that she’s able to convey to the public well, but the longer that she’s bathed in the limelight, the more daunting it’s becoming to uphold what’s been laid out for her. while she might look like a perfect doll, and while her personality is easy to warm up to, she’s still human; she still has feelings that end up being stomped on due to her unfortunate lack of a back bone, her quirks don’t sit well with others, and like everyone else, she still makes countless mistakes that she tries her best to learn from. however, she feels as though she’s held up on a pedestal of flawlessness, one that she, too, has taken part in convincing people of, and if she were to make one wrong move, or say one wrong thing, she’d have all eyes on her. it’s as if she’s being watched beneath a microscope, and she can’t help but feel mildly anxious about all of this. it’s almost as if she’s allowed to have no bad days, or to become emotional about much of anything. lately, it’s been noticed that she’s appeared more quiet than normal on variety shows, or that her presence on social media isn’t nearly as active as it used to be, and all of that’s boiled down to the fact that she fears the day where she’s caught; where she’s exposed as a fraud for not living up to the standards that midas have held her to. however, on the other hand, maybe it would be beneficial to her if she cracks under the pressure? maybe people around her wouldn’t see her as this unbreakable individual, but as someone that’s just as real, and just as valid, as everyone else is? maybe being seen as a mortal would serve her better than being considered a seraph, an angel without wings.

IDOL HISTORY

> tw. parental death, ptsd, and anxiety.

curious pupils watch as the events on television transpire before her — an embrace shared between a mother and her daughter burning into young eunjo’s blossoming memory. she’d known women in her life that have adored her, but she only remembers little bits and pieces of the woman who birthed her. all she had were photographs, an old guitar, and stories told by her father and her older brothers. all of them would constantly fill her mind with lovely comments and sweet words; often stating that she was not only identical to the former matriarch of their home in appearance, but also in personality, too. how on earth such a marvel was possible confused all of them, but they were fortunate to have her in their lives; not only as a reminder of one byun eunbin, but because raising her was simply a joy to all of them. though, despite all of their love and adoration, none of them ever felt compelled to tell her the truth of what had happened only a few years ago, and due to her memory not retaining much of that horrible day, and thanks to resilience for protecting her still-developing mind, she’d lived in a state of blissful ignorance. however, her thoughts would get the better of her sometimes, and in the midst of watching television with her father, she leaned up against him; long lashes blinking up towards his stern visage. this wasn’t going to be the first time she’d asked, and it would not be the last, but she still felt it necessary in this moment to at least try to get an answer.

“daddy?” her gentle, melodic voice cooed over to him; the singsong way with which she spoke signature to her personality. “i know you don’t wanna tell me, but where’s mommy?”

at the query, young taekwoon sighed and held her close. “your mommy’s in a special place, jo-ah. i promise that, when you get a little bit older, i’ll tell you everything you need to know.”

though, even when she did grow older, she still wasn’t let in on this secret that the men in her life were protecting her from, and though she never truly forgot all of the questions she longed to ask, she seldom brought them to attention; knowing that, even if she did, and no matter how much she begged, no one would inform her about the whereabouts of her mom. so, instead, she decided to stay focused on her studies, on her extracurricular activities. it was then, at a sweet and curious age of seven years old, that she took up an interest in the beautiful instrument seated in her father’s bedroom. it was bathed in sunlight from a nearby window, and it hadn’t been touched in a very long time; it’s once shiny wooden surface now collecting dust as it was left idle. upon questioning what it was, she was told that it was her mother’s old guitar, and that, on many occasions, the older woman would use it paired with a sweet singing voice to lull her daughter to sleep when she was a baby. moved by the story and eager to embrace it in her possession, eunjo asked her dad if she could learn to play it in an effort to be closer to her mother, to understand some of her interests. thrilled at his daughter’s inquiry, he agreed and let her hold onto it if she promised to take care of it, and together, the pair of them began to look for tutors to help teach her to play it with ease.

a few years later, at age ten, she had made a considerable amount of progress with her musical outlet, and now used it as a way to relax, especially since, at this time, one of her older brothers — specifically, the one she was closest to in age, and formed a beautiful bond with — left overseas to study in america for a few years. during this time, she grew lonely and used her guitar to help soothe her woes; creating small pieces of music in her downtime, and even going so far as to write her own songs and send them to her sibling as a way to communicate with him. none of her originals were particularly spectacular given that she was a novice who had only been actively playing, writing. and singing for two years, but it was the perfect emotional release for her at this trying time. her voice was light and small, and though it got the job done for what she wanted, at age eleven, she began to seek out help in the vocal department — eager to make improvements there, too. earlier on in her life, eunjo didn’t think she’d ever take up such a natural intrigue in music, but now that she did, she thanked her mother constantly for being her inspiration to press forward; to continue a legacy that her elder could’ve had before her life was taken away from her.

from eleven to thirteen, she took vocal and guitar lessons a few times per week, and she kept her grades up in order to prove to her dad that she wouldn’t allow her love for music to interfere with her education. during this time, her brother, taekyoon, had returned back to korea with an interest in song, too, and the pair of them would often collaborate together on tracks. she’d play the guitar and sing, he’d rap and help in instrumentation, and production, and in a sense, they were becoming their own little duo. their dreams to land amongst the stars were the same, and it was during this time that they made a pact to assist one in another to be as successful as fate would allow them to be. he focused on progressing his skills, and eunjo was beginning to take risks and start auditioning for whatever entertainment company had open calls for talent. she’d save up all of her money to take trips to seoul in order to attend the auditions. in the span of a few months, she’d been seen by panels of judges from a few conglomerates, the most reputable being 99 entertainment, but was denied due to her age and lack of experience time and time again. each rejection and constructive criticism she received only continued to light a fire within her, and she practiced for hours upon hours between homework and studying for exams. then, at the tail end of her thirteenth year, she heard about a call put out by midas media. she was intimidated at first, knowing the rumors that they were hard to break into, and that they expected flawlessness from their trainees, but her intuition was telling her to go for it, to test the waters and swim instead of drown. so, without putting too much thought into it, she signed up and begged her father to miss a day of work to take her to the capital, and when he begrudgingly agreed, they were on the road once again.

when the day finally arrived, eunjo showed up to the location with her guitar in hand; never ceasing her rehearsals leading up to when her number was called after a few hours. she’d prepared a stripped down, acoustic version of diamant’s ‘into the new world,’ and though she knew that the scouts were probably tired of hearing that song in the audition room, she hoped that her rendition would be different enough to put a smile on their faces, and when all was said and done, her hopes blossomed into fruition. they were taken with her presence and performance, and though she wasn’t at all perfect in their eyes, they saw potential in her; someone that they could mold into a formidable idol with time, and patience. it was a long shot for them to bank on her charms and singing voice alone, but weeks later, she received a call from the company, and when it was discovered that it was an invitation to train with them in seoul, she was completely overjoyed. knowing that both of his children were to be living in the capital full-time now, the household’s patriarch picked up and moved to be closer to them; providing a stable support system for them as they continued to work towards turning reveries into realities. it was also at this time that she entered high school, and following taekyoon’s footsteps, enrolled to be a student at the school of performing arts ( sopa ), and was later accepted due to her high grade marks and individual talents.

however, this temporary high that she experienced when she dove head first into a life full of song and dance was soon destroyed, and the killer of her spirits was none other than the fact that she wasn’t a fully well-rounded artist yet. balancing school and training was hard, and though she knew it wouldn’t be a simple task to complete, it often left her feeling a bit hopeless. although she was lauded for her developing singing abilities, the choreographers, who worked to turn her two left feet into ones that could move with precision and grace, would berate her time and time again for sloppy dancing. throughout all of her life leading up to this point, eunjo had been hidden behind a guitar as she poured her soul into her voice, so it wasn’t necessarily a surprise to her that she was stiff in movement and a bit awkward when she tried to learn even the basics; the simplest part of it all. many sleepless nights were had due to her staying late in midas media’s rehearsal spaces trying to drill the footwork into her brain, but whenever evaluations would approach, she’d still receive poor marks for her movements, and lack of rhythm. what made things worse was that, it was also heavily speculated that the girl group she was desperate to be apart of would focus on hard dance breaks and expert-level choreography, and that in and of itself made her sick with worry. this anxiety was detrimental to her health in various fashions, but on the other hand, it made her hyper aware of her mistakes and gave her an eagerness to correct them.

additionally, the company deemed that her voice wasn’t powerful enough for their standard, so whenever she took lessons to improve her singing, they focused primarily on teaching her to make her bright, crystal clear soprano range into one that was louder in volume, technically precise, and overflowing with raw emotion — which was her strongest suit. discovering how to properly mix her chest voice with her head voice took a lot of time to master, but it helped her create the round, full sound that the company was looking for, and as she got older and her voice developed more and donned a maturity she lacked once before, she was already being called the ‘next best vocalist in midas media.’ however, she couldn’t fly by evaluations by standing with good posture and masterfully performing ballads, so even with the new heights reached in her singing, she was still criticized harshly for her dancing. in order to help her adapt better, and hopefully, at a faster pace, they made her focus on working with choreographers multiple times a week; almost overworking her to the point of exhaustion, but somehow, she was able to keep her sights focused on the larger picture at hand — the luminous spotlights, the cheers of fans, and the recognition that she deserved for working herself to the bone day in, and day out.

then, at seventeen, she learned that taekyoon was discovered by an agency, and only mere months later, he’d be making his début in a group beneath them. while she was impeccably happy for him, and she adored that he was recognized for his talents, she wondered when, or if, she’d get her chance to feel that same euphoric sensation. after all, she’d trained for a lot longer of a time, and it seemed as though it wouldn’t ever end. luckily, she’d managed to get by slightly due to her singing voice, but even after years of work, she still didn’t feel confident in her approach to dance. she’d improved, but not nearly enough as some of the other girls in her category, and she worried that she’d be overlooked for one of them when they were finalizing the lineup. using her brother’s success as motivation, she worked hard, and promised him that she’d have her starring moment soon so they could make waves together. that was their ultimate goal, after all, and she wasn’t going to let a subpar dance skill ruin her aspirations, and overall, ruin what they’d planned for their future.

so, eunjo worked double time to succeed, and though she might not have been skilled in general when it came to movement, she learned to ‘perform’ better, in a sense, by making sure to embellish each movement with great facial expressions and occasional aegyo if it fit the song’s concept. not only that, but she didn’t dance so fiercely all of the time in efforts to keep her breathing stable enough to sing well while performing live, for evaluations, or for otherwise. being that she wasn’t necessarily being considered as a member of the dance line, she wanted to show midas that she’d make a fantastic main vocal for their group, and even with her lacking dance skills, she could make up for it with strong live vocals and a lot of stage presence, so she learned to adapt — with the help of her instructors — in a way that wouldn’t make her standout like a sore thumb when it came to lives. instead of hoping to transform into a top-of-the-line dancer, she resigned to the fact that what she should focus on was blending in and not calling attention to herself unless it was with expressions, or her voice, and she was definitely more comfortable with that approach to performance. happy that she was able to figure out a way that worked for her, midas media couldn’t help but be impressed with her growth to a degree, and there was no denying that her singing voice had made drastic levels of improvement, as well, since not only was she learning to properly sing under their watch, but her lessons at sopa were assisting her further.

after a grueling final evaluation that took every ounce of soul and energy that she had in her body, so much so that she nearly collapsed and cried when it was over, in the later part of her eighteenth year, it was confirmed to eunjo that she’d be the main vocalist for midas media’s upcoming girl group, and that preparations for their début would start immediately since they aimed to reveal them to the world in may of following year. she had to keep everything a secret for now, but she immediately rushed to tell taekyoon the great news and they silently celebrated together during the recording process of ‘glass bead.’ the innocent schoolgirl concept that aurora was given was sweet, and she adored that they were handed such a wholesome image; one that allowed younger generations to relate to them, and that allowed older generations to feel nostalgic about their times in their glory days. being given a high amount of singing lines, as well as more than one added high note throughout the track, nerves began to resurface in eunjo. how was she meant to sing this live in the midst of dancing during their opening stages? leading up to that point, in all of their rehearsals, she focused intently on singing and dancing at the same time in order know where she should breathe, and the choreography was even changed so that she could remain still when she hit a majority of her top belts. all of this was done as an attempt to make her feel more comfortable, and she appreciated that she was being looked after so well. the last thing she’d want was to muddy up aurora’s maiden voyage by not doing her all-out best.

that, however, didn’t mean that she wouldn’t ever land herself in hot, bubbling water though. while many people were captivated, and almost distracted, by her vocals at first, they failed to realize that she lacked in some areas, too, and once her faults were discovered, her antis were quick to pass along harsh criticism and malicious statements. compilation videos of her minute mistakes in the choreography circulated online, primarily regarding how she tried to handle the powerful high kick during the final chorus of her group’s début track, and the venomous hate spread across the world wide web by netizens was quick to be picked up on. turns out, blending in and doing aegyo wouldn’t be enough for everyone, and there were individuals who spent day and night scrutinizing her every movement. around this time, she was said to have resembled a swan, but moved more like a duck, and though she found it quite funny, she was beginning to realize that her fears of standing out as a hindrance amongst her group-mates had come to life. because of this, it was hard for her to appear enthusiastic on-stage, and she was grateful that, in formations, she was often positioned in the back and not given much center time unless she was hitting a high note. clearly she was meant to be regarded for vocals, and she was frustrated that her good qualities were being disregarded by a certain audience of people, but she tried to keep her head held upwards.

her saving grace throughout all of this, though, was when a fancam of her’s went viral for catching her falling five times during a rainy performance, and being that she was so professional in her approach to handling things, people seemed to be softer towards her. not only that, but she was beginning to have more of a sense of humor about her dancing. she would call herself out a lot, and would appear more self-aware. she also promised that she would do better in the future, and now, she had to keep to her word and actually show a lot of progress. so, when their third release, ‘rough’, was being choreographed, they were insistent that she work harder on mastering each move; spending ample amounts of time with her to show that she was more than capable of handling a more difficult performance. in hopes of adding more pressure for perfection, they gave her a solo moment apart from the group that wasn’t geared towards her voice, and though this made her a mess of nerves when the time came to showcase all she’d learned, she handled it well each time. however, the one downside was that, during most of their showcases for this particular comeback, she’d have to lip-sync during the vocally demanding sections. her breath support wasn’t stable enough to lift her belts to perfection, and though she was called ‘lazy’ for not singing live while dancing, she was simply proud of herself for pressing onward with each stage the group took part of. her movements on-stage — to this day — would continue to be her biggest downfall, but she trusts that they won’t be paid attention to too much in the future.

fast forward a bit deeper into the present, and young eunjo is beginning to be recognized for her voice all throughout the nation. her high notes are top notch, and a song released by aurora isn’t considered ‘complete’ unless she belts during the bridge, or final choruses. although she’s still a rookie idol, the amount of weight and strength that she puts behind her vocalizations are enough to have her compared to some of the industry’s top vocalists, but she doesn’t let any likening get to her head. she wouldn’t want to lose any bits of what makes her unique by hearing that she sounds like anyone specific. even despite some haters’ baseless attacks on her dance skills, her overall talent, her personality, or her appearance, she tries her best to be the girl that they’ve all come to know after the three — going on four — years that aurora has been active. during this state of grace and slow, but steady, rise to the top, however, eunjo’s been plagued with small remembrances of what occurred on the day that her mother was slain — more vivid than they ever have been.

for many, many moons now, the youngest of the young siblings has suffered with severe bouts of insomnia. even as a child, she’d spent nights on end wide awake and staring at the moon up above; imagining that it was her mother. she’d talk to it, hold full conversations, and ride the wave of sleeplessness for as long as she could before inevitably crashing — even if it was days later. it completely tarnished her motor skills after a good while, though, and it caused great concern for her father. in her teen years, she’d often write lyrics about feeling depressed or anxious, and she’d notice that it’d only get worse whenever she hadn’t slept properly. being that she had no idea what the cause of all of this was, eunjo deemed it as only being ‘tired.’ while that was true to some degree, it was far worse than what she thought, and later on, she started to have nightmares about the ocean; about the beach. she can’t step foot in the sand now without feeling uneasy, and she can’t remember why. it frustrates her to no end that she can’t finish this puzzle that she’s subconsciously been working on for years now. music has helped her heal and escape from her woes for now, but the weight of carrying such a deeply unknown burden on her shoulders is slowly, and surely, crushing her; especially since her schedule is so overloaded with work and hundreds of obligations that require her to be mentally sound and present at all times. this added stress is beginning to affect her sleeping patterns again, and in turn, create flashbacks, and as time goes on, the once dimly lit imagery in her mind is slowly becoming brighter; her memory kicking in at a gentle pace.

she remembers the sound of waves harmonizing eerily with loud cries and screams, as well as taekyoon’s chest and arms shielding her from beholding a gruesome scene. all of these once uncovered layers now more present than ever before; her mental resilience not as strong as it used to be during childhood. she’s forced to face the knowledge head on, and although the picture hasn’t been painted in full, she’s beginning to understand why she’s been kept in the dark about it for so long. all of this trauma is beginning to take its toll on her, and netizens claim that she appears tired or out of sorts during some performances or fan-meets, but she insists that all is well and that no one has anything to be worried about. will she be able to dig herself out of the hole that she’s slowly being buried in, or will she reach an inevitable breaking point after so many years of ignorance?

only time will tell.

#id.bio #id.aurora #id.midas #id.jung chaeyon

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