#it's like. easy to translate things but also it so incredibly isn't?

[marvelouslizzie]

I'm Not Sure If I Can Do This

Summary: You want to try something new and Bucky isn't sure if he can do it.

Pairing: Boyfriend!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Warnings: 18+, established relationship, teasing, dirty talk, pet names, edging, no protection, no mention of y/n

Word Count: 1.9K

A/N: I wrote this little filthy story because of my friend Andreea's prompt. I'm glad it turned out to be something decent.

You can also send me requests if you want. I can't guarantee I'll write it but I'll certainly try.

Thank you @notafunkiller for proofreading and editing ❤️

All work is mine, please do not repost or translate without my permission.

You thought explaining why you wanted this or even convincing him to do it would be harder, but it was quite the opposite. Bucky Barnes is a guy who loves to give, especially when it comes to pleasure. It’s like he’s thriving on your pleasure while he’s delaying his own. He never made you wait or made you beg for release. Not once. And you really want to be desperate for some reason. And you have no intention to find out why. You just want to experience it. You want him to tease you relentlessly, deny your orgasm, and finally when he allows it, you want it to be explosive.

It’s easy to imagine him doing all those things to you, but the idea of explaining it is just dreadful. That’s why you were so reluctant. You weren’t sure if he would like the idea or maybe he would misunderstand your intention. None of that happened, though. You just said you wanted to try it and as you started to explain why, you noticed how his eyes were shining mischievously. That’s when you realized it was more than okay for him.

And that’s how you ended up all naked and frustrated on your bed. Bucky is a man of his word, so when he said he was going to enjoy this, he was not lying. He has been teasing you for a while now, and all you feel is frustration and of course, that undeniable anticipation. 

“Bucky…” You whine as he’s moving so damn slowly inside you. The touches, the kisses, his damn tongue… It all feels good but not enough to make you come.

“Yes?” 

The way he looks into your eyes makes you melt. You are so close to forgetting that he has been torturing you. He has been denying your orgasm every time you are getting close, yet the look in his eyes… It shows his true feelings.

“What do you want, baby?”

He sounds like he has no idea what you want. You wish you could hate him for this, but you can’t. You’ve been imagining how this would feel like for so long, and he’s just turning your fantasy into reality while enjoying the ride.

“I wanna come.” 

You don’t care if you sound desperate because you are. You are desperate to come. You want that relief you took for granted for so long. All those times he never denied you, all those times he never even paused for a second before giving you all the pleasure in the world.

“Beg for it.”

His response surprises you. You can see the desire in his eyes and how much he’s actually enjoying this, but you never expected that he would be so into it. Maybe he didn’t know it either, but he definitely loves the state you are in. He even seems to enjoy edging himself because while torturing you, he’s torturing himself as well.

“Beg?”

“Yes, baby. Beg. Isn’t that what you wanted?”

“I-” You can’t deny that, can you? You always imagined it this way, but you never actually begged before. It’s easier when you are just imagining things, but looking at his face and saying those words… It feels incredibly hard.

“If you are not ready to beg yet, you are not ready to come, sweetheart.”

Oh, that’s awfully cruel of him yet so freaking hot. He knows you want to do this so badly, but your pride is standing in the way, and he’s willing to take you to the point where you wouldn’t care about it anymore. Yet your mouth says something else.

“But I am so close…” 

“I know.” He moves in and out of you. His pace is torturously slow, yet it still feels amazing.

Then his fingers move onto your clit, gently rubbing it, and you feel a jolt of electricity all through your body. It’s like a promise. The promise of blinding pleasure, but he stops after a couple of rubs and makes you whine.

“You know what you have to say, don’t you?” You nod in response, tears are beginning to well up. “You can get what you want, any time you want.” You know that, but it’s like your mouth is having a hard time saying those words. “And you know we can stop this any time you want, right?”

He’s trying to remind you of your safe word, but you don’t want to stop. You have no intention of using it.

“Please…” Your voice comes out so pathetically, but it makes him smile. Why is it so hard to say? 

“Please what?” He combines his words with actions. He moves a little bit harder inside you, and it reminds you of what you need. All you need is to ask him, and you know he will give it to you. You close your eyes and take a deep breath, bracing yourself to beg.

“Please move harder.” When you open your eyes back up, you see Bucky smirking. It just spurs something inside you. “Please, please…”

“Oh, baby…” He sounds so condescending yet loving at the same time. You have no idea how that’s even possible. “You really need it, don’t you?”

“Yes!” Your answer comes out instantly. Fuck your pride, you need this.

“Then you will get what you want.” You feel relieved but it doesn’t last long. “But I have one condition.” He completely stops while talking. “You won’t come before I say you can, got it?”

“But…”

“I will move faster and harder, like you asked me to, but you gotta hold it.” He sounds like he’s explaining edging to someone who has no idea what it is. “Show me what a good girl you can be, and I will give you what you want.”

Fuck… He’s making it so hard and hot at the same time. You really didn’t think he would take it this seriously. You thought just a please would be enough for him but it’s not. Yet you can’t seem to find it in your heart to regret asking him to do this.

“Can you do that for me?”

“I… I don’t know. I’ve never tried it before.”

“I know you can take it, sweetheart. Just show me how good you are.”

He’s a menace. He knows praising you will help and he’s using it damn well. So you find yourself nodding, and that’s when he finally starts to move again. 

His hands are grabbing your waist, while he’s fucking you the way you imagined it. It’s rough, it’s fast, but god damn, it feels amazing. You feel your orgasm is quickly approaching, especially after all that teasing, and you try not to focus on the pleasure. It’s so hard to move against your nature. Your body just wants to give into it and enjoy it to the fullest, but no, that’s not what your mind wants. So you close your eyes to fight it. Maybe that will help.

“No, no, no.” You hear Bucky saying. “You gotta look me in the eyes, baby. No cheating.”

“But that’s not…” He doesn’t let you finish. 

“But it is.” 

“Fine.” You know you sound like a child when you open your eyes back to see his pretty ones. They are so full of love and desire. You could come just looking into his eyes but you won’t. Not until he says so. You want to experience that crashingly intense orgasm.

“Good girl.” 

As if calling you a good girl with that deep voice of his isn’t enough, he starts to gently rub your clit and you can feel yourself clenching around him. Your pussy is begging for release. So are you.

“You are doing so good for me, baby.” His voice is full of adoration. “You look so beautiful. All spread for me. Just waiting for my command to come around my cock.” He slams so hard inside you that it makes you moan even though you were trying to hold back all this time. “Let me hear you. You make such pretty noises.”

“Please, Bucky.” It’s so hard to hold back. You can feel tears running down your cheeks. You never wanted to come this badly in your life before. “Please let me come.”

Finally, those words come out of your mouth. It has been a tough journey, but finally, you can ignore your pride and just ask for what you really want.

“That’s all I needed to hear.” He suddenly pushes your legs onto your chest, practically folding you into two. That allows him to move deeper inside you. “You can come now,” he says right before he starts to move again.

And just like that, you start coming on his command. It’s unbelievable how your body was just waiting for four words to come out of his mouth. All that teasing, all the build-up and anticipation pays off. Your whole body starts to shake while he’s railing you like there’s no tomorrow. Your head is thrown back, your eyes are closed and your lips are parted with the most delicious moans coming out of them. 

“That’s it, baby. Take it all.” He sounds like he’s close himself, but you are too lost in the bubble of pleasure to do or say something about it. 

It’s nothing like you have ever felt before. It’s so intense that there’s no thought in your mind, other than Bucky and how good he makes you feel. It’s so long that you forget to breathe for a while. Your ears are buzzing, and your muscles are contracting. You never knew this was possible. You never knew it would be better than you imagined.

When you finally come down from your high, you open your eyes to see Bucky with the most pleased expression. He hasn’t come yet. You can feel how hard he’s inside you, but you can see how accomplished he feels.

“God, you are so fucking beautiful.” He keeps moving with the same pace, chasing his high.

“Come for me, Bucky,” you say while you reach out to touch his face. He has been working so hard to make your fantasy real. “Come inside me. Please.”

“Fuck.” You can see he’s about to come. The veins around his eyes get so visible when he’s close. “You want it, baby?” His voice comes out like a groan.

“Yes. I want it. Please, give it to me.”

That does it. You just watch how he starts to come and damn, it’s such a pretty sight. You have seen this many times before, but it never ceases to surprise you. Him losing himself in pleasure like that… Especially when you know you are the reason for it. You are the reason why he’s so turned on. You are the reason why he comes so hard. You are the one doing this to him. 

When he’s done, he gently moves out and rolls next to you. You whine a little because of how empty you suddenly feel. You feel his hot and deep breaths on your neck. As soon as you think you are feeling a little cold, he wraps his arms around you and pulls you close.

“Thank you,” you say quietly, as if you’re afraid someone else will hear you.

“It’s my pleasure, sweetheart. You have no idea how much I enjoyed that.”

“Oh, I saw how much you enjoyed it, Mr. I’m Not Sure If I Can Do This.”

He scoffs at you bringing up his first reaction. Oh, how wrong he was. It was a completely unexpected experience.

“Maybe we should try choking next time.” You test the waters reluctantly, but the look he’s giving you is nothing but promising.

[svsss-fanon-exposed]

Examining SVSSS Canon: 2/∞

THE PRE-CANON TIMELINE

This post will attempt to provide an answer to several questions, including the ages of some of the current peak lords, as well as a rough timeline of events in the extras relative to the current day. A simple, bullet-point timeline will be at the end of this post, with relevant quotes and analysis above.

The timeline of SVSSS isn't particularly easy to piece together, and many fans are unsure of things such as the ages of certain characters, or how long the current generation of peak lords has been in power. As a matter of fact, it seems like even Airplane himself doesn't have a set timeline in mind for the events of PIDW pre-LBH:

“Your ages?” To tell the truth, Shen Qingqiu didn’t really know the precise age of this body. He raised his head at Shang Qinghua. “Wouldn’t you know better than I do?” Shang Qinghua twirled the brush in his hand. He’d never thought about this question either, so he figured he might as well just say whatever. Therefore he randomly wrote a number down in a couple of strokes. (7 Seas, Ch. 31)

It would be easy enough to take this quote and call the timeline a mystery-- however, there are a surprising amount of clues in the text, enough to at least put together a decent idea of when things happened and how old certain characters are, depending on which theories and interpretations one ascribes to.

There are two particular facts which are our most important hints as to the pre-LBH timeline, upon which this entire analysis hinges.

First, we have the spacing of the Immortal Alliance Conferences:

After much difficulty, Luo Binghe managed to turn seventeen, at which point he finally participated in the event the cultivation world held once every four years: the Immortal Alliance Conference. (7 Seas, Ch. 1)

And next, we have the length of time since Shen Qingqiu began to cultivate:

Before, Shen Qingqiu had thought that this body’s qualifications were already incredible, to have formed a core in only ten or so years when he’d begun cultivation so late.  (7 Seas, Ch. 19)

Notably here, what is translated as "ten or so years" is 十几年， which is more accurately "ten and a few years." This means that at the time Shen Qingqiu formed a golden core, he had been at Cang Qiong Mountain for around 10-15 years, but likely no longer or shorter than that.

This tells us quite a bit already-- because we know that Shen Qingqiu only reached core formation after becoming peak lord, as well as after Luo Binghe had already become a disciple:

Luo Binghe was using the incorrect cultivation manual that Shen Qingqiu had handed him; he should have long since died bleeding from the seven apertures, his body rupturing down to his bones, skin, meridians, tendons, and flesh... Shen Qingqiu was filled with paranoia; he forever felt like everyone was secretly talking behind his back, discussing how he’d been unable to attain Core Formation even after this long.  (7 Seas, Ch. 24)

So this tells us that it could not have been any longer than around 15 years between Shen Qingqiu and Luo Binghe joining Cang Qiong Mountain, and was likely at least a few years less than that because it has already been awhile since Luo Binghe was given the fake manual, which likely occured shortly after he arrived, and Shen Qingqiu reaches core formation at some point after this scene.

This means that the Qing generation's ascenscion likely occured no more than ten years after Shen Qingqiu joined the sect-- putting the ages for Shen Qingqiu and Yue Qingyuan respectively at roughly twenty-six and twenty-nine when they became peak lords.

The timeline can be clarified further and expanded, however, due to the spacing of the IAC. We know that the IAC occured when Luo Binghe was seventeen, and that it occurs every four years-- meaning that there would have been IAC taking place also when he was thirteen, nine, five, one, and three years before he was born.

However, we also know that it had not actually been fourteen years since Luo Binghe's birth at the start of SVSSS.

In the translation, Luo Binghe says the following when Shen Qingqiu asks his age:

“This disciple is fourteen,” Luo Binghe obediently replied. (7 Seas, Ch. 1)

However, the original says:

洛冰河乖巧地道：“弟子虚岁十四。”

"虚岁" here would be better translated as "nominal age." In ancient times, a child was one year old on the day of their birth, and aged up by one year with each new year-- so if a child was born the day before the new year, then at two days old he would already be counted as two years old. Sometimes, this would be counted on the spring festival new year, but other times it would be counted on the winter solstice.

As for Luo Binghe's precise chronological age, that is up for some determination. We know roughly the time of year he was born:

Immediately after birth, Luo Binghe was abandoned by his parents, swaddled in white cloth, and put in a wooden basin that was lowered into the Luo River. This occurred on the coldest days of the year... (7 Seas, Ch. 1)

The "coldest days of the year" here is 数九寒天, which refers to the nine periods of nine days each following the winter solstice. The winter solstice typically occurs on December 20-21, meaning that Luo Binghe's birth date is somewhere between December 20-March 12. If nominal age is being counted by winter solstice in this world, then that makes him chronologically thirteen at the start of SVSSS, but if it is calculated by the spring festival, then he is chronologically either twelve or thirteen at the start of SVSSS, as the Chinese new year can fall anywhere between January 21 - February 21, meaning that LBH could have been born either before or after this time.

So, let's just say that LBH's chronological age, for the purposes here, is thirteen, and then adjust our IAC timeline as follows：

There was one when he was chronologically sixteen, twelve, eight, four, the year he was born, and four years before he was born.

Now, how does this help us determine a timeline?

Well, we have the following statement:

Yue Qingyuan’s knuckles slowly brushed along Xuan Su’s hilt. “I was able to meet Senior Su Xiyan once at an Immortal Alliance Conference, many years ago." (7 Seas, Ch. 18)

Because we know that Su Xiyan died when Luo Binghe was born, we know that this meeting could not have occured at any conferences after his birth. It also would be unlikely that they met the same year Luo Binghe was born, as Su Xiyan would likely already be dead at that point if LBH was born after the new year. So, the latest that Yue Qingyuan could have met Su Xiyan would be twenty years before Luo Binghe was thrown into the Abyss.

We now combine this with the earlier discussion of the ages of Shen Qingqiu and Yue Qingyuan, and here I will note the following:

Yue Qingyuan slowly said, “At age fifteen, I entered Qiong Ding Peak." (7 Seas, Ch. 21)

This puts Yue Qingyuan roughly three years older than Shen Jiu:

“When [Shen Jiu] was twelve years old, he was but a slave my family had purchased from traveling child traffickers. " (7 Seas, Ch. 6)

Shen Jiu joined Cang Qiong Mountain at sixteen:

Liu Qingge didn’t even grace him with a sideways glance. “But certainly more success than a nobody who only began proper cultivation at age sixteen.” (7 Seas, Ch. 19)

This happened most likely directly after reuniting with Yue Qingyuan at an Immortal Alliance Conference. This puts Yue Qingyuan's age at nineteen during that conference, at which point he is head disciple, and has already gained some fame. However, this reunion has to occur before Luo Binghe's birth, Su Xiyan's death, and Tianlang-jun's defeat. This is because at this point, Yue Qingyuan has only been in Cang Qiong Mountain for four years-- thus, this particular conference is almost certainly the first one he has taken part in, and likely the first one he has attended at all, since a brand-new disciple in early stages of training most likely wouldn't have gone, therefore if Tianlang-jun had already been sealed by this point, Yue Qingyuan would not have had the chance to meet Su Xiyan.

So, the latest Shen Qingqiu could have joined Cang Qiong Mountain, at age 16, is twenty years before the Abyss, which would put him at age thirty-six at the youngest at that time.

Now, what about additional conference cycles?

It's possible that the conference in which Yue Qingyuan met Su Xiyan and/or after which Shen Qingqiu joined CQM may have been the one before this-- but that would also add four additional years to the time SQQ had been cultivating.

The earliest that Luo Binghe could have joined CQM would be when he was a little over ten years old, as that is when his mother dies:

On the bed lay a haggard old woman. With great effort, she tried to prop herself up, but from beginning to end, she was unable to do so. A small figure rushed in from outside. A tender-faced Luo Binghe, only a little over ten years old, supported the woman. Around his neck hung that jade pendant. (7 Seas, Ch. 3)

Shen Qingqiu had not reached core formation when Luo Binghe joined the sect. This means that if the IAC where SQQ joined the sect was four years before Luo Binghe's birth, then by the time Luo Binghe joins the sect it has been about fourteen to fifteen years since SQQ began cultivating.

Adding an additional four years would bump that to eighteen to nineteen years, which exceeds the "ten and some" years that SQQ took to reach core formation.

In my opinion, this also tells me that LBH joined CQM when he was absolutely no older than ten or eleven, and likely went to join immediately after his mother's death, because pushing LBH's join date later would also stretch the timeline of SQQ's cultivation. Now, this part does not specify whether the ten years old is nominal age or chronological age-- but because LBH's age of seventeen at the conference is referenced to his nominal age of fourteen, with a distance between of three years, then I am considering all age-numbers to be nominal age rather than chronological. This only really matters in regards to Luo Binghe for this analysis, though, as his birth year is the only one which has bearing on the timeline in regards to Su Xiyan's status.

With all of this information, we can determine with good confidence that the conference in which Yue Qingyuan met Su Xiyan was the same conference during which he reunited with Shen Qingqiu, which occured four years before Luo Binghe was born and twenty years before the Endless Abyss.

So because of this, we actually do have a relatively precise timeline of characters' ages, as well as events in the cultivation world.

This short timeline is also supported by the fact that Ming Fan is the most senior of Shen Qingqiu's disciples, and he is only sixteen, about 2-3 years older than Luo Binghe:

A youth around sixteen years old, tall and thin, promptly ran in through the door. “This disciple is here. What instructions does Shifu have?” (7 Seas, Ch. 1)

Had the Qing generation ascended too many years prior to Luo Binghe's joining the sect, it would be strange that the most senior disciple of Shen Qingqiu's was only sixteen, as in xianxia a disciple typically will not "graduate" at a certain age or cultivation stage, meaning that older disciples will maintain their role well into adulthood.

As for the rest of the peak lords, we have little to no information regarding the ages of Wei Qingwei, Qi Qingqi, or Mu Qingfang. However, we do know that Liu Qingge is quite young, and joined the sect both at an optimal age and a significant length of time before Shen Qingqiu:

At this point, Liu Qingge’s formal ascension to Bai Zhan Peak Lord, too, had likely only happened a couple years ago. There was a visible air of immaturity about his features, his gaze fierce and sharp, and within his every action was a young man’s spirited vigor. (7 Seas, Ch. 19)

and

Therefore, even though he’d entered the sect quite some time after Liu Qingge, because Qing Jing Peak was ranked second—only below Qiong Ding Peak—while Bai Zhan Peak was ranked seventh, Liu Qingge still had to address Shen Qingqiu as “Shixiong,” if through gritted teeth. (7 Seas, Ch. 24)

So, Liu Qingge is likely a year or two younger than Shen Qingqiu, but not by too much, since they still behave very much like contemporaries as teenagers-- let's say that Liu Qingge is likely around 14-15 when Shen Qingqiu joins the sect at age 16.

The other peak lord we know a bit about the age of is Shang Qinghua:

The older-than-average outer disciple Shang Qinghua, who currently occupied a seventeen-year-old body, looked around in all directions as he trailed behind the main team, who were unloading goods from the ship onto the docks. (7 Seas, Ch. 26)

He is seventeen here, and an outer disciple of An Ding Peak. We can place this a bit more definitively on the timeline by the fact that Shen Qingqiu is already a head disciple at this point in time:

“What I don’t know is how Shen Qingqiu got chosen as head disciple after starting cultivation so late,” said another outer disciple who’d joined Cang Qiong Mountain at an older age, his expression sour. (7 Seas, Ch. 26)

Unfortunately, we cannot place the exact point in time where Shen Qingqiu became head disciple-- one possibility is that it couldn't have happened until after Tianlang-jun's defeat, which occured about four years after he joined the sect, since he did not participate in the battle. But that is a weak argument, since none of the current generation besides Yue Qingyuan participated in that battle:

Of the current peak lords, only Yue Qingyuan had participated in that battle, as the head disciple of Qiong Ding Peak. (7 Seas, Ch. 17)

If using this argument, then that would mean that aside from Yue Qingyuan, none of the other peak lords had been chosen as head disciples at that time-- while that is a possibility, I think that a more feasible explanation would be that Yue Qingyuan was an exception, and participated in the battle specifically because of his wielding Xuan Su.

One thing we can extrapolate, however, is that Shang Qinghua was most likely an inner disciple for at least three years before the Qing generation's ascension. This is because of the following:

One day, Shang Qinghua’s concise Great System delivered a new command: Become the An Ding Peak head disciple within three years. (7 Seas, Ch. 26)

Now, it is somewhat loose evidence, as there is nothing to say that "three years" means for certain that the ascension would occur three years from that point, but it does mean that it occured no earlier than that. By now, Shang Qinghua has already been an inner disciple for some time, long enough to have been assisted by Mobei-jun a few times and to have gone on several missions-- most likely around a few months to a year or so at minimum.

Of course, how long has passed between Shen Qingqiu joining the sect and this point? Well, since Shen Qingqiu is still described as a youth:

Shang Qinghua suddenly heard the tinkling of sword tassel pendants, and a youth wearing Qing Jing Peak’s uniform slowly approached him. (7 Seas, Ch. 26)

Because of this description, I would say that Shen Qingqiu is most likely between seventeen and his early twenties, since it isn't particularly likely that he would become head disciple in less than a year after joining the sect. Of course, within this age range, there is one important event that occurs-- the battle of Bai Lu mountain, which would have occured when Shen Qingqiu was twenty and Yue Qingyuan was twenty-three.

Now, this gets into more of a speculation than anything else-- just before this point, Mobei-jun attacked Huan Hua Palace and the An Ding Peak disciples. If the battle of Bai Lu Mountain had already occured, it would have happened no more than a few years earlier. We also know that there is a tentative truce between the demon realm and the cultivation world:

This suggestion was solid. For many years, the Human and Demon Realms had maintained an uneasy balance and had yet to drop the pretense of peace. Eliminating Sha Hualing and her mob wouldn’t be impossible, but it would likely light a fuse. The demons definitely wouldn’t let her death go unanswered, and it wouldn’t be worth it if they stirred up an even greater conflict. (7 Seas, Ch. 3)

I suspect that this pretense of peace was likely set in place after the battle of Bai Lu Mountain, when the demon realm had just lost their ruler.

Since just a short time had happened since the demons' defeat and a likely truce between the realms, I find it unlikely that Mobei-jun, a prominent member of demonic nobility, at this time would be actively antagonizing the cultivation world by attacking Huan Hua Palace and Cang Qiong Mountain. Now, of course, there is a potential alternate storyline that this is exactly what happened, and Mobei-jun went rogue as an act of lashing out, and that interpretation would be perfectly valid on its own.

Personally, though, I believe that Shang Qinghua's meeting with Mobei-jun occured before the battle of Bai Lu Mountain, while the cultivation world and demon world were in the tense state on the edge of war. This means that Shang Qinghua most likely became an inner disciple when Shen Qingqiu was around 17-19 years old.

With this information, we can determine some relative ages:

Yue Qingyuan is three years older than Shen Qingqiu, who is a little older than Liu Qingge. Because Shang Qinghua was seventeen when Shen Qingqiu was already head disciple, it is most likely that he is around Liu Qingge's age, give or take a few years, as it is not particularly likely (though potentially possible) for Shen Qingqiu to have gone from new disciple to head disciple in the space of a single year.

Aside from these four, there are no other ages that can be determined for the peak lords.

With all of this information, a fairly decent timeline can be created. Characters' ages will be listed with each notable year.

《 THE TIMELINE 》

*counted up to the start of SVSSS. If using this timeline, keep in mind that the earliest and latest notes for date ranges can overlap-- do not accidentally have a disciple join the sect before the current peak lords ascend, or have SQH become head disciple after ascension! Dates with ranges are colored green (earliest) and red (latest).

Earlier than -21 YR

LQG: <;10-11

(earliest) Liu Qingge joins Cang Qiong Mountain

-21 YR

LQG: 10-11, SQQ: 12, YQY: 15, QHT: <16, QJL: 16

Shen Jiu sold to Qiu Jianluo

Yue Qi joins Cang Qiong Mountain

--IAC--

-19 YR

LQG: 12-13, SQQ: 14, YQY: 17

(earliest*) Yue Qingyuan enters the Lingxi Caves with Xuan Su

-18 YR

LQG: 13-14, SQQ: 15, YQY: 18, QHT: <19, QJL: 19

(latest*) Yue Qingyuan enters the Lingxi Caves with Xuan Su

Shen Jiu kills Qiu Jianluo and burns down Qiu Manor

Shen Jiu becomes Wu Yanzi's disciple

(earliest*) Yue Qi leaves the Lingxi Caves

(earliest*) Yue Qi becomes head disciple

(latest) Liu Qingge joins Cang Qiong Mountain

-17 YR

LQG: 14-15, SQQ: 16, YQY: 19

(latest*) Yue Qi leaves the Lingxi Caves

(latest*) Yue Qi becomes head disciple

--IAC--

Yue Qingyuan meets Su Xiyan

Shen Jiu kills Wu Yanzi and joins Cang Qiong Mountain

-16 YR

LQG: 15-16, SQH: 15-17, SQQ: 17, YQY: 20

(earliest) Shen Qingqiu becomes Head Disciple

(earliest) Shang Qinghua meets Mobei-jun and becomes inner disciple at age 17

(earliest) Shang Qinghua receives the directive to become head disciple within three years

(earliest) Shang Qinghua becomes head disciple

-14 YR

MF: 2, LQG: 17-18, SQH: 17-19, SQQ: 19, YQY: 22

(latest) Shen Qingqiu becomes Head Disciple

(latest) Shang Qinghua meets Mobei-jun and becomes inner disciple at age 17

(earliest**) Su Xiyan imprisoned and subjected to torture in Water Prison

(earliest**) Battle of Bai Lu Mountain

(earliest**) Tianlang-jun Sealed

-13 YR

NYY: <1, LBH: 1, MF: 3, LQG: 18-19, SQH: 18-20, SQQ: 20, YQY: 23

(latest**) Su Xiyan imprisoned and subjected to torture in Water Prison

(latest**) Battle of Bai Lu Mountain

(latest**) Tianlang-jun Sealed

Luo Binghe is Born

Su Xiyan Dies

(earliest) Qing Generation ascend to become Peak Lords

--IAC--

-11 YR

NYY: 2-3, LBH: 3, MF: 5, LQG: 20-21, SQH: 20-22, SQQ: 22, YQY: 25

(earliest***) Ming Fan joins Qing Jing Peak under Shen Qingqiu

-9 YR

NYY: 4-5, LBH: 5, MF: 7, LQG: 22-23, SQH: 22-24, SQQ: 24, YQY: 27

--IAC--

-8 YR

NYY: 5-6, LBH: 6, MF: 8, LQG: 23-24, SQH: 23-25, SQQ: 25, YQY: 28

(latest) Shang Qinghua receives the directive to become head disciple within three years

(earliest***) Ning Yingying joins Qing Jing Peak under Shen Qingqiu

-5 YR

NYY: 8-9, LBH: 9, MF: 11, LQG: 27-28, SQH: 27-29, SQQ: 29, YQY: 32

--IAC--

(latest) Shang Qinghua becomes head disciple

(latest) Qing Generation ascend to become Peak Lords

(latest) Ming Fan joins Qing Jing Peak under Shen Qingqiu

-4 YR

NYY: 9-10, LBH: 10, MF: 12, LQG: 28-29, SQH: 28-30, SQQ: 30, YQY: 33

Luo Binghe's adoptive mother dies

(earliest) Luo Binghe joins Qing Jing Peak

(earliest) Shen Qingqiu reaches Core Formation

-3 YR

NYY: 10-11, LBH: 11, MF: 13, LQG: 29-30, SQH: 29-31, SQQ: 31, YQY: 34

(latest****) Ning Yingying joins Qing Jing Peak under Shen Qingqiu

(latest) Luo Binghe joins Qing Jing Peak

-2 YR

NYY: 11-12, LBH: 12, MF: 14, LQG: 30-31, SQH: 30-32, SQQ: 32, YQY: 35

(latest*****) Shen Qingqiu reaches Core Formation

-1 YR

NYY: 12-13, LBH: 13, MF: 15

--IAC--

Year 0

NYY: 13-14, LBH: 14, MF: 16

SVSSS Begins

-----

This timeline operates under the following conditions. For some of these conditions, alternatives are discussed in the post above-- if you wish to use any of the alternative calculations, then you're more than welcome to adjust the timeline as applicable for your own use!

"Years" are counted from the first day of the spring festival/Chinese new year, rather than January 1

All character ages are nominal ages, so they were born in the year they are counted as age "1"

Luo Binghe was born after the new year, and so his nominal age is only about one year higher than chronological.

Shang Qinghua met Mobei-jun before the battle of Bai Lu Mountain

The system's time limit for SQH does reference the time of the Qing generation's ascension

The Immortal Alliance Conference takes place roughly in the middle of the year. Based on the fact that it is warm enough for the disciples to dip their feet into a stream and find that pleasant, it would make sense for the IAC to occur in a warmer season (Ch. 4)

Further References and Footnotes:

*Yue Qi was in the Lingxi Caves for more than one year and Qiu Manor had already been destroyed by the time he got out (Ch. 21)

**The birth of Luo Binghe occured a few days after the battle of Bai Lu Mountain. Depending on when LBH was born, it could be at the end of year -13 or the first few days of year -12 (Ch. 21)

***We do not know the earliest a child can join Cang Qiong Mountain, even though the appropriate age for cultivation most likely cuts off somewhere around 15 (due to YQY joining at that age and no comments about him being "too old"). For the purposes of this timeline, I am setting the absolute youngest to age 5, but more realistically a disciple wouldn't join until age 8-10 at the earliest.

****It is unknown whether the only time that disciples can join Cang Qiong Mountain is during the recruitment trials. Therefore, there remains a possibility for Ning Yingying to have joined the sect in the same year as Luo Binghe, but at some point before the recruitment trials due to connections. This can potentially be supported by Shen Jiu joining after the IAC, but at the same time, it is not confirmed that SJ joined CQM immediately, or if he had to wait until the next recruitment trial, so there is no clear canon precedent-- nonetheless, it is still possible. Note that Ning Yingying can only join at this late point if Luo Binghe joins at age 11, and after her. The only hard requirement is that NYY joined at some point before LBH.

*****I have placed this as the absolute latest time SQQ could have formed a golden core because this puts him at having been cultivating for sixteen years. It is a bit of a stretch already , but I don't think that "ten and a few" years could really be any longer than this. It is also worth noting that by the time SQQ reaches core formation, every other peak lord has already done so, with Yue Qingyuan first, Liu Qingge and Qi Qingqi next, and Shang Qinghua most likely last (Ch. 24)

--

Please let me know if you notice any errors in calculation, formatting, or missing details! This was quite substantial so there's a good chance I may have missed something.

Some of the points in this analysis and timeline calculations were brainstormed with the help of @zykamiliah , @cum-villain , @furbygoblinxiv . Many thanks!

[thelingodingo]

BTS' Speech Styles

Like anybody, the members of BTS have their own speech patterns and language quirks that make their speaking unique to themselves. So I thought it would be interesting to make a post that goes deeper into the details of how each member speaks in Korean!

Jin: He talks in an old-fashioned manner (very exaggerated ahjusshi) and doesn’t use much slang. He also uses a lot of puns consistently, its quite impressive and cringy honestly. His vocabulary isn't as varied and wide as RM but his grammar is pretty spot on. Also very speedy at talking and hard to understand sometimes. On top that, he's great at getting his point across in serious situations without adding unnecessary emotion.

Suga: I think I once heard a fandom myth that he has a lisp (which he very much does not). But he does mumble a lot and stretches his ㅔ's, making it very difficult for even native Korean speakers to understand him properly. On top of that, Suga also speaks incredibly quickly, making it another thing that makes it very hard to understand him (no wonder he's a rapper). Sometimes, he speaks very swaggy. Sometimes, he speaks like an old uncle. Sometimes, he's like RM and gets very eloquent with his wording.

J-Hope: Because of his dialect, he sounds very warm and friendly. He also seems to enjoy using words such as 되게 (really) and 뭔가 (somewhat) veryveryvery often. His tone fluctuates alot and something about the way he pronounces words is very crisp and staccato-like. He can also be very serious and deadass as well.

RM: He speaks very intellectually and educated. Both his vocabulary and sentence structure is very high-level, sometimes choosing difficult and unconventional words. Every now and then he jokes around in the many different dialects he picked up from the rest of the members (he doesn't come from a place that speaks a different dialect like the others). His normal speaking is also very unique sometimes due to the influence he has from the different dialects of the members, over the years he basically created his very own dialect that's a mix of all the different dialects together. This makes his speech so nuanced and special and difficult to fully translate/convey.

Jimin: Has a very friendly and down to earth tone when talking to fans since he speaks informally. His speech pattern is very playful, sweet, and cheeky. During other occasions, he speaks formally to fans and has the most "feminine" sounding speech style. You can tell he selects words very carefully and delicately to be as nice as possible. In Korea, he has a nickname of Park DaJeong, meaning "Tender Park" due to his speech style. Sometimes, he slips into dialect which is when he sounds a bit "rougher".

Taehyung: Is a big fan of using and repeating adverbs such as 약간, 조금, 진짜, etc. In Korea, people call the way he speaks 태태어 (Tae's language) because of how interestingly different and lowkey peculiarly he speaks Korean. It doesn't have much to do with his dialect, he literally just speaks that way. (he can speak amazingly when needed, it's just that he has his own quirks when speaking in casual situations)

Jungkook: He speaks with hints of dialect quite often, making him sound very rough and most "masculine" sounding in Korean out of all the members. I think he has a very clear and smooth tone which makes it easy to listen to him, so if you're learning Korean he might be a good person to do listening practice. He's not as polished in vocabulary/grammar compared to RM and Jimin but he's still great at speaking.

Something I want to mention is that the younger members very commonly use honorifics/polite social conventions/formal speech towards the older members even with their closeness and family-like relationship. This is actually something about BTS that is highly praised among Korean society due to how professional and respectful it makes them seem.

There's probably more to analyze and delve into when it comes to the members' speaking styles and patterns but this post is just a general overview.

Please let me know if theres any inaccuracies or if you want more posts like this!

[pokemon-card-of-the-day]

If you dont mind the ask, what are some of your favorite pokemon cards by moveset, design, and/or art?

Ooh, I like this ask, I think I'm going to dig in and make this my post for the day and put some work into this.

Electrode was the coolest Pokemon in the first generation because blowing up to what would become 2 of any Energy let some cool strats with otherwise slow Pokemon work. It's a shame that it was so weak to Energy Removal, but at least Lass existed to help.

Kabuto from Neo Discovery goes in the art category. Was the first of the clay Pokemon by Yuka Morii that I ever got, and those cards are adorable. I'm glad there was a series of these throughout the years.

Town Volunteers was one of the first Supporters, which was a very positive change to the game, but was also used for art in the Lumiose Museum in XY. I love that they used old cards in that.

This was probably the first deck I used that was really, really good, as I actually got all the cards together for a functional version of it. I couldn't go to many events for various reasons but I'm fond of it anyway.

Flygon here had a lot going for it. It was one of the Delta Species, which was a very cool concept and one I wish they'd go fully back to someday. Tera does some of that but misses out on the Weakness diversity within a type thing, which I know they're actively trying to avoid now. It also let you play with a variety of Delta Species at once with that Poke-Power, so it was fun to mess around with.

My favorite Pokemon may have never been good in the games (does ADV ZU count as good? Probably not) but got one of the best cards of all time. Any deck could use this as 2 of any color of Energy, though you had to return an Energy back to your hand so it worked best alongside things like Blastoise ex or Meganium ex. Those decks could just work with any Pokemon that needed 2 or fewer off-type Energy, so that translated to the vast majority of Pokemon in the game. It was still useful in decks without that to an extent. Oh, and it was also a starter Pokemon for basically any deck running a lot of Delta Species Pokemon, even if it was just the Basic versions to evolve into something else. Incredible card.

Crystal Beach isn't here for design or what it does, it's for story reasons. One person that could possibly read this will know what I'm talking about here.

I didn't get to play a ton in the DP era but I do remember this being silly. 90 for no Energy was such a fun concept, and it was actually pretty good at the time.

The attack is called Everyone Explode Now. What's not to like?

---

I think I should stop here for now, got out of hand a bit. I think I'll put out a second edition of this tomorrow evening with later cards since I rarely write anything after therapy anyway and that'll be a fun easy thing. Can go back to normal posts Wednesday. Thanks for the ask here, that was fun to do!

[swanchime]

disorganized untitled thesis on satosugu and the rest of jjk part 1/?

while it is true i cannot clinically be Normal(TM) about satosugu for many reasons including the probable late adolescent involvement with a buddhist cult (Etcetc u can believe any wack shit i say or not or just take it for a Schizophrenic Comedy but you know you know), i am also overflowing with satosugu thoughts at any point in time.

HERE'S SOME DISORGANIZED THOUGHTS ABOUT SATOSUGU (and yuuji/sukuna)!

gojo is what in my internal world would be classified as a "nonpareil" which means he is peerless, there is no one that can match him, and it's Not a good thing. as the english translation loves to say, "are you the strongest because you're gojo satoru? or are you gojo satoru because you're the strongest?"

what this means to me is that the entire structure of gojo's identity is composed of "being the strongest," so there's no clear casuative relationship between if he is the strongest because that's the most important thing to being "gojo satoru" or if he is known as, reputed as, identified as "gojo satoru" because of an innate trait he already possessed.

it's unclear if he "became" the strongest Because he is "gojo satoru" or if he "became" "gojo satoru" because he is the strongest.

regardless, gojo satoru's identity is defined by being "the strongest," and that means no one can match him, he is a nonpareil, he is peerless.

because of that it is easy for him to become an object of envy even by his best friend, who calls him by his first name with no honorifics, which is an immense position of intimacy despite their rivalry, as can be indicated in the early episodes of jjk s2.

just like. geto's relationship to gojo is defined by the insurmountable abyss that opens between them when they stop becoming "the strongest duo" and when gojo simply becomes "the strongest," without geto, without needing him anymore, without geto being able to catch up.

geto deeply resents gojo for gojo's peerlessness, the arrogance that befits him, because young gojo is better than everyone and he knows it. geto is incredible, but he can't catch up.

like in the first episodes of jjk s1, the difference between two special grades can be immense and immeasurable. like sukuna and that special grade curse from eps 4-5. both special grade, but two entirely different classes of it.

i'm overflowing with thoughts about how like, geto loves and hates gojo in equal measure. gojo shines so fucking brightly, geto can't help but to love him, who couldn't love him, and in my opinion, gojo Needs geto, otherwise without him...who could tolerate gojo?

if geto can't love him, who could?

just...

without geto, gojo IS the strongest, but he is alone.

to be a nonpareil is to be alone.

no one can keep up with you, no one can match you, you are utterly isolated at the top of your field. without geto, gojo is just alone. what does it matter to be the strongest if you have no one to witness you, what does it matter if you are the strongest and untouchable, unloved, and desired, but only for your practical function, your usefulness in achieving others' ends.

it's hard to explain to someone who isn't fluent in japanese, but japanese is full of ambiguities, it is a language defined by ambiguities, whereas english is defined by its contrasts and strictures, its discrete categories as fundamental as classifying something as "good" or "evil," japanese culturally exists in the middle to the point of indecision and indifference but in the ambiguity there is truth in all its invariate complexity as well.

speaking japanese to children (who are simple, and straightforward, and direct, who speak casually and plainly on a linguistic level) versus speaking children to adults (who politely obscure through layers of courtesy and keigo) is two different worlds, and speaking to teenagers is navigating that ambiguity of "how much do I obscure? and how much do i reveal?"

and the SHEER INTIMACY of geto and gojo calling each other by their first names despite the friction between them, geto deeply resenting gojo's arrogance but also being drawn in irrevably by his magnitude...

it's immense.

geto and gojo calling each other by their first names means that they are each other's most precious person. as intimate as you can ever get with another human being. it's not just a "cute party trick" or a "fun fiction trope for couples" it's like, an extremely intimate way of defining their relationship (and subtextually defining it as one of deep, severe love that surpasses 'bromance' or however else you want to superficially and non homosexually categorize it) it just...

geto and gojo calling each other by their first names shows the viewer how much they love each other and are in love.

i'll talk about it another time, but jujutsu kaisen is a deeply encoded series about decrypting the cipher of "symbols" and various other coded messages, particularly queer ones, that are so deeply encrypted that shounen jump doesn't register it as "actually really fucking homosexual / transgender"

but just. i can't express to you how painful watching...geto's resentment, his desire to be as special and necessary and desirable and wanted instead of swallowing vomit stained rags and viscera and vermin, and feeling dirty because of it. and hating the world. and feeling deeply and intimately that you are an unnecessary existence, annihilated by the shining bright light of your best friend who you are deeply in love with but who without even blinking an eye outshines you, outclasses you, doesn't ever and may have never needed you at all.

these things...these deep held vulnerabilities and open wound of insecurities, this fundamental lack of security in the necessity of his own existence, imo calls back to okkotsu's themes of wishing to have the permission to live (i want to feel as though it is okay to live).

these things make geto vulnerable to cult tactics. who will convince you that you're special, necessary, more necessary than anyone, the way cults build a "family" out of it is too true, so true, too much, the way geto financially exploits his followers as well as manipulating advantage out of them (swallowing curses) while presenting himself as a buddha....

the way geto sincerely loves his family, so so much, he cares about them so deeply...but like gojo says love is the most perverse curse of all, and geto's love for them...who can say what it is, other than love.

the perversion of love is love, too.

the thing about "families" like geto's is that they are sincere, and real, and true, but you can't leave, you can never leave once you get in there, they won't let you leave alive, and that is the shape of geto's love, it requires absolute devotion to him and his curse, those girls he saved, mimiko and nanako, his daughters, say that "if geto-sama says black is white and white is black, then it is" because he saved them...

but geto requires complete and absolute conviction in himself and in his cause, and anything less will result in execution.

in such "factions," there is more loyalty than you will ever see in the world. but more blood, too. to be loved utterly and completely in a way that requires absolute devotion and conviction with no room for even a sliver of doubt. to be loved like that is a perversion, but to be loved like that is to be loved absolutely.

i have been loved like that, and i will never love or be loved like that again.

geto: won't you curse me a little, at the end?

gojo: love is the most perverse curse of all.

they love each other at the end, they still love each other, and in jjk0 when gojo is talking to yaga, he still calls geto "suguru," because gojo still loves him, and gojo says suguru is "his only best friend," it's so...it's so incredibly vivid, and painful, and damning.

gojo without suguru is absolutely alone. there is no one to match him, and there is no one to stay with him, be with him, there is no one to celebrate his successes or criticize his failures or play with him and let him be silly and coquettish, there is no one to be with him at all. gojo is LITERALLY untouchable, and the same is true on an emotional/metaphorical level too.

no one can touch gojo. no one.

this makes gojo...more isolated than any could know.

(laughing) it's lonely at the top.

suguru's era where he is a cultrunner is where kenjaku, who has been described to me as 'the ancient curse spirit of guanyin' i think begins to coalesce inside him.

suguru's entire thing with the stitches on his forehead and that image of him revealing the curse in his brain. that's literally just DID of kenjaku taking over the person that used to be geto. but i think kenjaku was there before, nascent. growing.

jjk in many facets is a DID narrative. this is just the plain and simple truth regardless of if your belief follows mine or not. it is my truth, but i believe it is a textual truth as well. rika is okkotsu's alter; she protects okkotsu severely to the point she won't even let him commit suicide, she stops him, okkotsu created her, he is terrified of her but she protects him at all costs. okkotsu is a severe child on child violence victim.

and so in junpei, who dies because (imo) she can't form an alter, so she represents the child on child abuse victim who is groomed until death. my thesis on trans junpei and trans megumi coming later.

and ofc yuuji and sukuna. yuuji who after eating sukuna's finger knocks on his head and says "yeah, but he's kind of annoying. i can hear his voice," and the implications that no one else can see sukuna's tattoos except the reader.

if gojo, the strongest, with six eyes, can't tell the difference between a clearly inked out curse marked sukuna and yuuji who doesn't have any such thing, if he has to ask, then i think there's no stronger indicator of their difference other than visually, for the reader.

not to mention that sukuna even in his mind palace looks identical to yuuji. if this were a typical "possession" narrative then why would he, in his literal "mind palace" (ryouiki tenkai / that space inside himself where he speaks to yuuji), like why would he independently of yuuji where he could look like anyone in the world. choose to look like slobbering ouppy dog boy silly yuuji.

sukuna IS yuuji, or who yuuji could be. or who exists, so yuuji can exist independently as he is, in all his naivete and instinctual dependence rather than on his mind (sukuna possesses all the cunning).

and sukuna even makes that deal in one of the early episodes where he can have five minutes to do what he wants / take over for five minutes, and then makes yuuji forget it, to the point gojo asks him what he talks about with sukuna, and yuuji says he forgot / can't remember.

DID amnesia.

and at the very last episode in the hallway where yuuji is talking to sukuna alone as though they have spoken together a thousand times. yuuji telling sukuna he can't tell megumi about the truth regarding the curses. that scene's framing just...suggests that yuuji has a lot of off-screen conversations with sukuna. that yuuji uncharacteristically somber and serious. collaborating with sukuna. as a part of him.

and that mahito arc, with mahito commenting on the way that yuuji and sukuna are two souls.

jujutsu kaisen is everything to me. i see it in some ways as a recounting / prediction of places have been in my mind / and places i will be. because i see it as a history so similar to mine, i see my own future in it. is this crazy? OF COURSE IT IS. but it is one of the most precious and sacred things to me.

but, believe me or not, these things and thoughts remain true regardless of the silence that awakens in the absence of belief, these thoughts are mine and the truth i see / seek in jujutsu kaisen...is my own path, my own journey, for me.

but i did want to share any thoughts...about the things i see/seek in jjk. just for myself. but if anyone wants to see, so be it, too. maybe it'll make you think regardless of if you agree.

i love jujutsu kaisen. i think in many ways...it saved my life. it still is saving my life.

i hope i can see it to its end.

[variousqueerthings]

watching a thing that's going through why someone enjoys doctor who, and it's gone on a little tangent about why romance on doctor who doesn't work (in their opinion, and in mine), and how it made s2 and s7b the creator's least favourite -- and while I would need to rewatch s7b to remember that, I do think that the-doctor-and-rose at least doesn't have to be read as romantic if one doesn't want to

which isn't to say it wasn't intended as such, and also that it was somewhat based in dtennant and billie piper and jenna coleman and (to some) matt smith being hot (sorry matt smith, he looks like a teenage boy, the dichotomy is not hot or ugly, it's does-or-does-not-look-like-a-teenager), which is kind of *sigh yeah okay you're appealing to the people who think people are hot so they wanted a bit of that sexy sexy romance (I guess)*

however I don't think that things that are romance-coded need to be engaged with on that level, as someone who's had to make that translation many many times, and I think especially with the doctor-as-character, including and especially ten when one reads ten as being projected onto, it's actually incredibly fun not to/not even really a translation so much as a textually supported read

what's especially good about the doctor and rose dynamic is specifically that the doctor never gives rose the exact thing she's looking for, and that part of the doctor's heartbreak is that he can't -- take that as a "because I'm immortal and you're not," if you want (and that's also a textually supported read), but it's also very very easily read as "because what you want and what I can give is not compatible so that I will always end up letting you down like I do everyone, and I would rather you be happy than assert what I might want, and in the end everyone leaves for one reason or another"

which... the doctor basically says to wilf. they leave. they find someone else and fall in love. they forget. they break the doctor's heart. not just rose, but everyone. rose is simply the first to remind the doctor of this fact after bringing him back after a massive traumatic event

and I think it elevates s2, which I've now seen a couple of people go "oh because of the romance it's one of my least favourite seasons," which is so fascinating to me, because s2 isn't at all about a romance through my eyes. it is for rose, because she's in love with the doctor, romantically, and that's part of her tragedy, as a mortal, as someone who's in love with her doctor and doesn't want that doctor to go or to change or to... be alien, perhaps (now I do reach, but it's open to reaching) -- and who is growing up throughout, as the first person one sees grow up in nu!who

and the doctor is constantly struggling for words: tell rose... oh she knows. and i suppose. if it's my last chance to say it. rose tyler...

rose tyler essentially brought the doctor back, made the doctor fall in love with the universe again, and brought back a childlike wonder that the doctor had had before the timewar, and how do you encompass that into simple human concepts of "romantic" or "platonic" and know

that this person is romantically in love with you in a very human way

that there is an end-point to this, which is something this person will never fully grasp until it's happened (or that person is dead)

that you do not age. that you change. that you are aliene

that you are fundamentally, always, left on your own in the end

that you have put all of your sense of your new self onto this person and it will eventually fuck everything up

so yeah, there's some heavy-duty emotional subtext in s2, but because of the deliberate lack of clarity given to that subtext, it's very very easy to take it in various kinds of directions. of course rose and the doctor are Like That in s2, they're living a little fairytale life that's about to fall to pieces (something the doctor knows, but won't admit, and rose doesn't fully understand or believe)

when rose asks the doctor how long they'll travel and the doctor says "forever," it's absolutely 100% a lie, and that is... very tragic... thinking back to their first scenes together, which were incredibly simply sweet, and you know it's stretching thinner and thinner in ways I don't think you see with any other companion

the thing is I do personally think that rose as the romantic arc makes rose less interesting than she is, and that's a flaw in the show, but I think giving hers and the doctor's run a slightly different eye, that is absolutely supported by the canon, also opens up all of her other traits, that make her so iconic -- only seeing rose through the lens of romance does her a disservice, there is a bunch more going on there in s2...

but like yeah, I get that there was some david tennant so-called sex appeal, which, yeah whatever, and billie piper was a former famous popstar, and people also do ship them romantically (and that's fine), but I think to focus on that aspect in order to say why rose isn't appealing kind of ignores everything else she is and represents on the show for something you can just read in another way easily and more interestingly and supported by the text

like people will throw around "asexual doctor" but I don't think they know enough about aromanticism (which is what they really mean) to understand how to read that in a text. deeply symbiotic relationships can be aromantic, can be platonic, and can be one-sided or messed up or or...

embrace the symbiosis of the doctor and rose in s2 that is inherently also kind of fucked up and doomed because of their deliberate blinkered perspective of the future even after the sarah-jane episode and the madame du pompadour episode which are screaming at them that things are ending soon!!! It's compelling stuff. it's not necessary to read it as romantic

give rose tyler her due as the ghost that haunts the narrative

[yet-another-heathen]

[ Answering in a new post because I don't like Tumblr's "no edit" ask glitch. Thank you so much for sending this one in, @venusski! ]

---

The ifrit have a specific custom of naming through laqabs! For example, Yeezumon's full name:

Yeezumon al-Taasharaih ibn Ramnawa bint Khesha bint Modreya al-Quasim

...is more than a random jumble of middle names and surnames. I know it looks incredibly overwhelming, but do me a favor. Read it once more, slowly. Sound it out in your head. Actually follow every single word.

Yeezumon al-Taasharaih ibn Ramnawa bint Khesha bint Modreya al-Quasim

This is more than a name. It's history—of so many people more than just him.

The rough translation:

Yeezumon the Star-Mapper; son of Ramnawa; daughter of Khesha; daughter of Modreya the Divider

Yeezumon earned the honorific "the Star-Mapper" through his lifelong dedication and renowned skill as a navigator. There isn't an easy way to impress on you just how profound that title is. Not only did Yeezumon learn to read and write (as exceptionally few ifrit or humans in this time do), but he has charted every single star in the night sky over his centuries as a navigator. And, in a time where doing so is both incredibly challenging and dangerous, he alone has mapped out huge swaths of the desert and its surrounding "coastlines" where greenery and life follows the winding rivers at its edge.

It is because of him, and the few other people like him, that sandships are able to transverse the deserts at all.

Yeezumon's great grandmother also has an honorific that gets carried along in his name. There was a massive famine during Modreya's lifetime (just after the ifrit were freed from Solomon), and she was the city official whose responsibility was to divide food rations amongst her people. "The Divider" was a title given to her in honor of her dedication to making sure EVERY person, regardless of poverty or class, had enough food to survive. She was incredibly well loved, and her name is still remembered to this day, almost three thousand years later.

After their honorifics, something else might stand out; ifrit bloodlines are solely matrilineal. There are a great many reasons for this, but the biggest is how common polyamory is in their culture. True monogamy is almost unheard of among ifrit, and relationships that even come close are exceptionally rare.

"The Husbands" earned their title because it is outright bizarre for two ifrit to have been together as long as they have. When you live to be a millennium old, it's accepted that the people you're closest with will eventually grow and change so much over the centuries that you're no longer compatible. And there's nothing wrong with it! That kind of growth is seen as a good and completely natural thing, and animosity between ex-lovers is far from the norm. People stay together for as long as they fit, then make their own way apart when they no longer do.

That being said, Yeezumon and Ifyaa are weirdos. Not only have they been together for most of their lives, but these two literally get married to each other over again every time they come across a culture that does it a different way. They've been married about thirty times and counting, with no plans to stop. Even THEY aren't monogamous in the modern sense—they still have other partners both alone and together. [Sorry Nadi, you're still out of luck.]

But lineage is matrilineal because frankly, not only would be it nearly impossible to keep track of who the sire may be, but to the ifrit? It simply doesn't matter.

Ifrit have such an impossible time conceiving children that when one is born, entire cities erupt into celebrations that last for DAYS. Every child is raised with their entire community as a family. While they'll travel with their mother if she ever moves to a new city, the need for more detailed lineages just don't exist. After their mother, they belong to the People as much as to their sire. And on that note....

Ifyaa's full name follows the same pattern:

Ifyaa al-Mantiqi ibn Aisara-Qshek ira Yareya bint Watlai

Ifyaa the Healer; Son of The People; heir to Yareya, daughter of Watlai

Though the ifrit don't have an equivalent of such a word, Ifyaa was more or less what humans would consider an orphan. His mother left when he was a very young boy, and the people of his city all took him in as one of their own. The entire city became his family. He carries their name in reverence, and will often shorten his own name to Ifyaa al-Mantiqi ibn Aisara-Qshek unless the need otherwise arises.

---

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to go into this! I truly love the world and culture building of An-Nadr, and I'm delighted every time I get to scratch the surface.

[icedmetaltea]

*Cough*

So anyway au where Eclipse is one of the ordinary daycare crew, just a big and tol good boi who normally who doesn't speak as he doesn't like how loud and scary his voice is due to like a manufacturing error so he signs, helping translate for the deaf/nonverbal kids and maybe doing easy beginner sign language lessons for anyone who wanted to learn

Consider him and y/n having some kind of argument and y/n starting to walk away in a huff or covering their eyes so they can't see what Eclipse is trying to sign, so he picks them up with one set of arms and continues to sign super fast and angrily with the other while y/n is trying not to show how incredibly flustered they are. Like he picks them up often to help them reach things n such but only after making sure they're cool with it a thousand times over since he's self-conscious about how intimidating his height makes him so now it's like they're all powerless and strangely okay with that oh no

Consider also infected Eclipse losing all that shyness and speaking down at y/n in his actual voice, which is enough to rattle the floor. Also also consider he then picks y/n up, though this time he isn't worried at all about being gentle so he gives them a lil squeeze and is like "So fragile... I could crush you right now if you weren't my favorite" . Y/n then has two realizations: one: they're his favorite, whatever that might mean (oblivious idiot trope my love), and two: has a I hope this doesn't awaken anything in me moment (too late it did and they'll now be thinking about it long after Eclipse is cured oh n o )

[the-tmnt-ficfinder]

Ficfinder finds: little kid with a big death wish

Rottmnt Fanfic Summary: Leo's mind rebelled against the sensation. The heaviness burst into awareness, body, limbs, lungs, blinking. The middle distance he'd apparently been staring in focused. Leo was awake. Leo was aware. Leo was alive. Being alive wasn't something he thought he'd be. or: recovery fic featuring dissociation problems, missing limbs, and Leo discovering a familiar presence in his mind. twice the trauma in one body, what could go wrong?

little kid with a big death wish: Appraisal and Ratings

(Don't know what fanfic "Appraisal and Ratings" means? Check out my explanation on my Main Masterpost! Looking for a different fanfic to read? Head on over to my Fanfic List Masterpost!)

Disclaimer: This fanfic is completed, and is written by @remedyturtles!! This fanfic also has numerous oneshots to go along with it that are all part of the same series.

The fanfic ratings are not based on quality, favoritism, or how good I think it is, but rather, how intense a subject may be. Like a movie review, or the tags on Ao3, letting the readers know what to expect.

Plot: 💛💛💛💛🖤

"Plot is four out of five!! The plot for this fic is intriguing, heartwarming, heartbreaking, and full of emotion!! This fic is a post invasion recovery fic, and is calming in some moments, then intense and upsetting later. The plot, while not being overly complicated, is still very much entertaining!!"

Suspense/Mystery: 💛💛💛🖤🖤

"Suspense/Mystery is three out of five!! This fic isn't an incredibly suspenseful one. Instead, it focuses much more on the emotional side of things. The occasional note of suspense and mystery are a part of the plot, but they aren't the star of the show."

Angst/Hurt: 💛💛💛💛💛

"Angst/Hurt is five out of five!! little kid with a big death wish is filled with so so much angst and hurt!! This fic covers some dark mental issues, and problems with disassociation, which of course leads to some very dramatic angst!! The angst and hurt in this story, is powerful, and very touching!!"

Fluff/Comfort: 💛💛💛💛💛

"Fluff/Comfort is five out of five!! While this fanfic does have tons of angst and hurt, it also has lots of comfort, wholesome moments, precious bonding, and family interactions! The perfect blend of heartwarming, and heartbreaking!"

Emotions Conveyed: 💛💛💛💛🖤

"Emotions Conveyed is four out of five!! The way emotions are portrayed in this fic is beautiful!! It was deep, and well written. Many of the chapter evoked deep thoughts and self-reflection in myself."

Drama/Tension Level: 💛💛💛🖤🖤

"Drama/Tension Level is three out of five!! The drama and tension in this fanfic are of a moderate level. Not super intense, but certainly not lacking!! It varies depending on each chapter."

Triggers: 💛💛💛💛💛

"Triggers are five out of five!! This fic explores some heavy mental health topics that may be extremely triggering to some folks. Remember to read the tags, and stay safe!!"

Legibility (Reading): 💛💛💛💛💛

"Legibility (Reading) is five out of five!! little kid with a big death wish has a consistent and smooth writing style!! Easy on the eyes, compelling and fun to read!!"

Legibility (Audio): 💛💛💛💛💛

"Legibility (Audio) is five out of five! I listened to the entire fic in audio book form, and let me tell you, it was wonderful!! The writing style used in this fic translates so incredibly well into audio book form!! 100% would recommend!!"

Length: 💛💛💛🖤🖤

"Length is three out of five!! little kid with a big death wish has a chapter count of 33 with 7+ oneshots!"

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little kid with a big death wish: Chapter List

(Chapters will be added as I rate and appraise them ^^)

(yet to be added)

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death wish Oneshots

(Links will be added as I rate and appraise the oneshots)

red light up ahead

one billion foolish things

not a demon, there's a reason

old dead bones that don't get theirs

give my best to the mess

only love could fuck me up this much

take my brain or what remains

[occasionaltouhou]

For a random stage 2 boss to rotate for a little while, how about Nemuno Sakata? One of the major themes of the HSiFS characters was that they had relationships with established characters rather than to eachother. However, while I can easily envision the other three bosses of the first four stages hanging out with their associated seasonal protagonist, Nemuno seems to be characterized more by how she doesn't spend time with Aya, to the point where her (or anyone else, for that matter) even visiting is unwanted. At the same time though, she gives us a better idea of politics on youkai mountain. There are places even tengu aren't allowed, for one. Makes me wonder how she'd react to Sanae showing up if she'd been playable, or perhaps her relation to Nitori/the kappa in general.

first, it's still really funny to me that the other three protags get a new friend but aya doesn't. too insufferable

ANYWAY yeah i think that nemuno is a really interesting addition to the politics of youkai mountain because like, we kind of knew there were other youkai up there but they hadn't really gotten any focus before. the fact that the yamanba are explicitly kind of isolationist also makes you wonder how many of them are up there

the thing about nemuno though is that unlike most of the rest of the hsifs, she didn't get a follow-up later, so we only really have what she says and does in the game. which tells us that she's relatively friendly and easy-going, but also that she's firm about the tengu's contract with her and that she attempts to kidnap reimu. the reimu thing is actually the most intriguing to me - she seems to not have heard of the hakurei shrine maiden before (though you can argue if that's the best translation of "知らんな" for that statement), which is incredible for someone who in another route is discussing negotiations of land with aya. the implication here being that she simply doesn't have any interest in the world outside her world, and that whatever happens at the bottom of the mountain doesn't affect her - which is, of course, true, and plays into the problem. she simply isn't the type of character who shows up to things.

in terms of her relationship to others... again, that's the problem, isn't it? she kind of doesn't have one. maybe she does some trade with the kappa, but it would be business on both sides of the arrangement. for sanae, it could be something dismissive along the lines of sannyo's "what are you, a cop?" or complete disinterest at the machinations of the mountain god. she's a tricky one to use, unfortunately. i do actually wonder somewhat if that's why zun introduced sannyo - a second crack at the same idea, but who's a bit more connected to everything else

[viatagrinner]

Ikevil. Prologue. Part 1. (1-5)

These are more like notes... and a little translation of the prologue.

It's easy to be happy when life is a fairy tale.

The heroine, Kate, is a mailwoman.

Evening. There is one last address left. Suddenly a strong wind blows, ripping the envelope from the girl's hand.

Kate: If I lose sight of it, I'll be in trouble.

The letter flies to William.

We don't know their names yet.

Leaning over, he picked up the envelope and handed it to Kate.

???: Here you go, lady..

The girl noted to herself his non-human beauty and graceful movements.

Even for the world of this game, bright red eyes are unusual.

It looks like blood.

Suddenly the "red-eyed man" says there are more packages left and the girl needs to hurry before it gets dark.

Kate goes about her business.

William's waiting for Victor.

William: Thanks for waiting....

Victor: If it's you, I'll be happy no matter how long I wait. ...Ah, something good happened.

William: Ah. There was a lovely Robin there, with a lovely voice, almost singing.

Victor: I see... If you're interested in someone, I'm curious too.

Kate is walking around town after work.

A male mugger wants to beat a little girl with a poker.

The heroine yells at him, something like, "Put back what you stole and I'll listen to what you have to say."

The girl didn't wait, kicked the man and ran off with the necklace.

It turned out she was the thief and the man the victim.

Now the man wants Kate to pay for the merchandise.

Victor was watching this. He calls the heroine "Pretty Miss Robin."

Kate believes that you can not blame the thief, because the east of London is full of poor people and who knows what need made the girl steal.

The heroine's hobby is going to the theater every few months.

Kate went back to work. There is a shortage of letter carriers. And our heroine doesn't have enough money for the theater. Kate decides to work part-time as a night courier.

Victor gathers all the boys together. In the background, a groovy jazz song plays.

I'm too lazy to translate the whole thing, especially when there's a better translation of this scene.

Kate delivers the mail. It's a safe neighborhood. There's one last letter left. It needs to be taken to the incredibly gorgeous mansion. But trouble... There's no mailbox.

The gate is open. It's sloppy. The heroine hopes to see one of the servants.

A piano is playing in the distance. This must be someone who lives here.

The cheerful music sounds strange in the quiet mansion.

Kate is scared. Moving forward, she can get the job done, but she also feels like she's making the biggest mistake of her life.

Kate: Sorry....

(.......What?)

A bright red fountain erupts in front of her.

A round object, all in red, rolls up to her. It's a head.

The corpse had a knife in its hand.

???: I didn't think there would be an audience here.

Looking around, Kate notices eight shadows that are darker than darkness.

One of the shadows slowly rises from behind the piano. It is William.

William: Who if it isn't Robin, whom I met this afternoon?

Liam: Do you know William? Do you know who we are?

William: We just talked a little bit on the street, Liam. She doesn't know about the Crown.

Liam looks at Kate with curiosity.

Harrison tries to say that the corpse is a set piece for the play.

Kate: ...Lies.

Harrison: ...You'd better pretend you believe me.

He asks William for advice.

He replies that he should take the heroine to the Grim Reaper of the Palace.

Jude grudgingly turns to Roger that he should have closed the door.

Roger: Ahaha, I didn't expect anyone to go so far as to trespass. Are you a very bad girl, miss?

Feet unruly with fear prevented the girl from escaping. All she could do was take a step back. But she was immediately captivated by Will's blood-red eyes.

William: Come, poor Robin.

The girl went to him against her will.

(Why? I can't stop.)

Kate: ....No, I don't like it!

She is beside him. He hugs her gently.

His scent tickles her nose.

Something fell on her. Probably blood. William wiped it off and introduced himself at the same time.

He invited Kate to dinner.

Before the heroine knew it, she was seated in a carriage.

The package was left at the mansion. But she wonders if she can get the money for the delivery. 🤣

But it's doubtful, since the girl doesn't know if she'll be able to get home.

Kate quickly guesses that the men belong to some kind of organization.

Alfons aka The Gentleman: Miss Kate.

[Although he actually called the heroine Miss Robin.]

He points to the palace, smiling. End Stop. Perhaps this is where Kate's doom awaits.

Kate: This is reality.

Alfons: Yes, unfortunately. It's not a dream or an illusion. This is a painful reality from which there is no escape.

Alphonse startled her. Her head was spinning. She bumped into Elbert.

Kate: I'm sorry.

Elbert: ....No problem...Are you okay?

The man looks like a porcelain doll.

Too beautiful, too creepy.

Oh... Looks like Elbert won't just let Kate go.

Liam slapped Elbert on the arm.

Liam: Kate, can you talk to me? I want to know more about you.

Now Kate is sandwiched between the two men.

Roger comes to her rescue.

The report to Victor comes first.

It is with Roger that the heroine feels most at ease.

But what will happen to her? According to the man, everything depends on her.

William appears. Kate calls him, I don't know, Lord Rex. He, on the other hand, laughing, asks, without formality, to call him William.

Kate: Okay..... Lord William.

Victor: Welcome back, my beloved damned people!

William introduced Kate.

Victor: Wow... What a fateful coincidence.

She realized she was facing the queen's aide. Her legs buckled and Vic picked her up at the last moment.

.... "Crown" is such a secret organization, whose employees immediately tell everything to a random girl.

But seriously...  Liam explains that cursed people, born with a curse.

They are destined to commit a crime and face a tragic end.

For example, Liam himself will be killed by his own curiosity.

[I'm not sure of this piece] Liam's story of the first cursed. His loved ones tortured him, cut off his limbs and abandoned him, but he only laughed himself to tears...  Eventually, in the end, he jumped into a tub of sulfuric acid, dying laughing loudly.

Roger: It has been said that various tales were born of this cursed man.

It's hard to believe, but cursed people have abilities that normal people don't.

The only one who remembers that they are members of a secret organization is Jude.

He says it's all a secret. 👏🏽

William's ability is a smug king. He's kind of like a hypnotist.

He seems to be the one who hypnotized the master into killing himself.

Great Britain is the only country that organizes and controls "damned men."

It's Ellis' turn to shine, too. 🤩

What to do about the girl?

Ellis thinks she doesn't look happy. If she needs to be killed, he'll do it.

Kate is trembling, the others are calm. To them, taking a life is the norm.

Somehow they have to be persuaded.

Kate says she won't tell anyone.

The mailmen are trained to keep confidentiality.

Victor & William: ......

Also, Victor can keep an eye on her until he trusts her.

Victor can easily be persuaded. She is now a member of the exclusive "Crown" programme.

[spockandawe]

You know what, I'm not happy about this either :T

Unless I'm t-boned by another reblog from someone huge, this likely won't reach as wide of an audience. And I regret that! Because either I presented myself badly or people are taking the wrong thing away from my words.

So, I strongly, STRONGLY believe in supporting writers. I also strongly believe in archival work and preservation of online media. I mentioned my own binding of the raksura patreon short stories earlier this year, hoping to manifest an official printing to buy, which.... folks, the implicit logical endpoint is that I went and expanded them all and saved them locally too.

It wasn't scraping, since I've seen that description being tossed around in the notes. My copy was manual copy and paste, because I don't respect my own time, and so was the other recent version. If you're going to rail against that, I guess you've successfully transported nft rage about right click + save as to a new medium.

Frankly, the patreon interface is a pain for this. Infinite scroll is part of the enshittification of the internet, this is a lot of text and posts, patreon isn't a powerful archival site, and it started choking horribly by the time I was halfway through. Now that I know people can still sign up (which i didn't, for years, that closed label is misleading), I still emphatically encourage them to do so and fight through the lag to read the stories.

I also quoted the thing where I said I owned all the books in three formats - physical, ebook, audiobook. Guess what copy I use for most rereads - that's right, none of them, because I was a dumb youth who didn't understand how awful kindle drm is and I can't word search in a paper book, so the secret fourth format is pirated ebooks, which I know amazon will never be able to yoink out of my grip. If I ever git gud at illumination and make a hand-illustrated compendium of the series, that's going to be my starting base, because there arent digital rights to lock me down to owning ACCESS to a copy of the book and not the copy of the book itself.

Now, the existence of pirated ebooks isn't all sunshine and roses. I've seen the talks about how new books IMMEDIATELY get pirated and shared and start cutting into an author's livelihood and future publishing prospects. I think it's incredibly important to support authors directly and in ways corporate marketing teams are able to observe. But especially in light of the Hollywood strikes, I'm sure many of us have seen posts about corporate entities playing shitty games with what they'll make available and withhold, and what they'll CHARGE versus what the customer has PURCHASED.

The only thing in the original post I take issue with is the reposting of something that was still available directly through the author. That has already been addressed. The originator is remorseful. I still understand if the patreon vanishes, to be clear. But i quietly made my own copy years ago BECAUSE i understand how easy it is for something like that to vanish, for much more arbitrary reasons. It could have been vanished because of site policy, patreon abruptly archiving all posts more than X years old. Online media is dangerously ephemeral.

I bind a lot of cnovel fan translations. So many amazing stories are getting licensed for translation - great! But it's also a massive extinction event for all the backbreaking translation work other fans have been sharing for years for free. And from that perspective it's a fucking TRAGEDY. I have... a Lot of files that I'm not sharing publicly. My goal is never to preempt or undermine the translators who did the actual work. But that hoard of files is still precious to me, because it takes about five seconds to delete a gdoc of translation, and there's not always warning to save a copy first.

Again, emphasis, my only issue here was the reposting. I'm not happy that it happened. I'm glad the files were quickly taken down, whether or not the patreon itself goes away. I'm glad op is remorseful for overstepping, and I can... mostly see how they didn't realize the problem, and mainly wanted to help more people experience a story they loved.

So it's also worth saying that I'm also not too stoked about the direction tags on that post were starting to go. 'Piracy is inexcusable, piracy is the death of--' STOP. I recognize that begging for nuance while tossing thoughts out onto social media is a losing game. But actually, I'm out of patience for black and white thinking happening on my post. Piracy is a valuable tool for archivists and a hazard to creators, which is why it should be practiced quietly and with deliberate care. It should be practiced in a way that attempts not to damage the creator's livelihood or take away control of their creations. That's where the misstep was here. OP understood they had misstepped and they were expressing remorse even before I got on my high horse, and it sure doesn't seem like the notes care about that, so! I'm done letting the outrage machine feed on it.

That's probably enough. I'm not saying anything I haven't said on here before. If you've ever grieved for a beloved fic missing from your ao3 bookmarks because it was deleted, you understand the basic archival urge. If you lost access to a favorite artist's extensive archives because the images were flagged in the 2018 boob ban, you should be able to understand. I manually saved 36,000 pictures in that brief grace period before I completely burned out. The fundamental impulse shouldn't be that hard to grasp. The rest is just responsible practices, and people fuck up sometimes. It sucks, but sometimes you don't recognize a boundary is there before you blunder right over it with the best of intentions. I think a lot of us have been there too.

Anyways, this is too much text, how boring to look at. Here's my remaining pictures of my own little anthology copy. Still manifesting an official release someday, or any books of the raksura material at all. Money will literally fly from my pocket to purchase it in every available format.

[solomons-poison]

Greedy

Keith Howell x reader

: ̗̀➛ A/N: uhhhh I suddenly had the urge to write a kind of silly little thing for mean!Keith after reading Keith's POV story from the amnesiac AU collection event. Keith's route isn't out in the EN server yet and my knowledge of him is limited to fan translations and what little EN server does have, so sorry if it's really OOC. I also didn't know how to end this RIP

: ̗̀➛ Warnings: bit of spoilers for Keith's character/route??; no pronouns but fem leaning reader, also focused on mean!Keith's POV; slightly suggestive; amnesia AU; just mean!Keith being kind of jealous and a tease :>

: ̗̀➛ Word count: 2039

Keith could be many things, perceived by the public in many different ways, all depending on the alter that was presenting. When nice!Keith was out, he could be considered timid and nice to a fault, often over-apologetic over the simplest things. But he was also incredibly kind, thoughtful, reliable, and sweet. Sometimes he was even considered akin to a knight, the way he seemed so honorable and righteous.

Alternatively, when mean!Keith was out, he was primarily ruthless, intimidating, maybe even a trickster. If something proved to be a threat or he needed something of value, he didn't hesitate to unleash the full inner beast until they were trembling before him, ready to give in. And especially if it was a threat to you, his lover? There were no arguments. He knew he could be manipulative and scheming when he wanted to be, but he argued he was just doing what was necessary, as much as you scolded him about it. 

He wasn't even sure where this aggression came from, to be honest with himself. He could only imagine it was related to his missing memory, and for now, that didn't matter to him. It was just second nature, this primal need to protect. He had nice!Keith to worry about, the softie's heart capable of shattering with one wrong move, he thought. Sometimes he even felt the man's heart was already shattered, just this inkling in the back of his mind, but he couldn't recall from what.

The townspeople grew to be wary of him because of these differences, even to the point of nice!Keith leaving scathing notes only for his eyes, begging him, pleading, to stop scaring people. But mean!Keith didn't care about that. 

Even if he hadn't regained his missing memories yet, that didn't matter to him right now. What mattered was that he had you to protect, as well. Partly as payback for you coming to his aid that one rainy night, helping him recuperate. But as time went on, he also grew to love you, the way you accepted his different personalities, opening your heart to not just one man, but two different men in the same body.

If he wasn't so pleased about winning you over, he'd maybe feel bad about that. He knew it wasn't easy loving even just one person, let alone two, but you handled it like a champ. And he knew that he was a handful at the best of times. But sometimes your acceptance of him just sparked his playful side and he wanted nothing more than to tease you, push your boundaries and see just how far that love and devotion extended.

Even more than that, he was simply greedy for you.

In the beginning, mean!Keith rarely came out. Nice!Keith was the one you met first, and the one you interacted with the most. His emergence mostly seemed to coincide with daylight hours, so you were often unaware of any change on the rare occasions you did interact with his alter. But as time went on, the switches seemed to happen more often, to the point that mean!Keith could spend almost a whole day with you before losing out. Once that started happening, you were quick to catch on that something wasn't quite right, and he finally opened up to you about the truth. From then on, he seemed to have about equal time with you as nice!Keith.

He hated that the most. Once he became used to your presence and your attention, he found himself seeking it out more and more, and he always wondered about the next time he'd resurface. He would never say it to your face, but he was fascinated by you. At first, he thought you were weak, easy to manipulate, fragile. But he found his gaze always drifting to you, memorizing the way your lips quirked up when you ate something delicious, or the giggle that came from you when you read a particularly funny line in your books. Your presence was simply addicting.

That's why, when he was out, he found himself gravitating towards you and holding onto you as much as possible. His neediness always made you laugh, and tonight was no exception as he slid his arms around your waist while you were reading on your bed, savoring the feel of your soft curves beneath his hands. He didn't even need to say anything, his demeanor spoke volumes about who you were interacting with now. That was just another thing he absolutely loved about you, even though he did think it took the spirit out of the game when he wanted to tease you or make you guess.

"I didn’t think I’d see you again so soon,” you said. You’d startled for a moment, but your brain quickly connected the dots on who you were with, and he felt you melt back into his embrace.

He pressed his lips to the back of your head, taking a breath to just enjoy the scent of your hair– a sweet, floral scent filled his nose, likely freshly washed– before moving your hair to the side to kiss your neck. You couldn’t help but shiver at the feeling.

“Why, you didn’t want to see me?” he teased, making sure to put a pout in his voice. However, as much as he liked to tease you, part of him did wonder, was actually worried about your response, not that he'd ever admit it to you.

Keith could feel you shake your head, trying to twist around in his hold but your efforts were in vain, his strong arms keeping you facing forward instead. “It’s just hard to know when I’ll see you next. But of course, I love seeing you, Keith. I love seeing every part of you.”

Your voice was soft, but he heard every word, and he felt a shock go through his heart.

Honestly, he didn’t know how you did it. The people in town knew how to deal with him now, but many of them that interacted with this side had come to fear him. Even now, despite learning he wasn’t really an immediate threat (for the most part), many of the townspeople were wary and kept their distance of him. But you… Not only had you accepted him into your home despite learning about his existence, you’d even grown to love him too.

At first, he couldn't help but be extra cautious about that. Experience with the other townspeople told him that you were faking, that you really did prefer his nice side. But time and time again, you proved his assumptions wrong, always catching him off guard and assuring him how you truly felt. It was both nerve-wracking and exhilarating.

His sudden silence as he ruminated obviously seemed to bother you, as you suddenly turned in his arms, his hold on you loosened after getting distracted.

"Keith? Is everything ok?" Your soft hands cupped his cheeks, earnest eyes seeking him out.

He could curse the way his heart flipped in his chest every time you said his name.

He did decently well pretending to be unaffected by your sweet voice, most days at least. But it was your eyes. Your eyes were always his biggest weakness, the way they looked into his soul, past all his jokes and teasing, how they managed to see just who you were dealing with that day. He couldn't hide from them.

"Of course. Do I seem bothered to you?" he joked, golden eyes narrowing teasingly. But your lips only tugged down into a worried frown.

He knew that look, it always came before you'd ask him a question that somehow always hit close to home, and as expected, he saw your mouth start to open, already forming your words. And although it was probably childish, he just wanted to have your attention for a little longer, rather than look too closely at the reason he felt this way. He knew his time was limited. So he tugged you into his lap, one arm still wrapped around you, and used his free hand to pull your head forward, capturing your lips in a deep kiss.

You stiffened in surprise before relaxing against him, and he took the opportunity to slip his tongue in. Somewhere, distantly, you both heard your book slip off the furniture, forgotten about in this moment. This Keith's kisses always left you breathless, and now was no exception, barely giving you a moment to get your bearings before kissing you again. Whatever it was that you'd been thinking, had been tossed to the winds now.

Keith lowered you back down against your bed, his kisses moving from your lips, down your jaw, to the side of your neck. He could almost purr at the way you melted beneath him, compliant and moldable like the softest of clays. Perhaps that's why you fit him so well, because you could simply change form, fill in all his little cracks and crevices and make him whole. And he sought the way he could fill you too, give it all back to you and fill you fit to bursting. His body was already aching for it.

He brought his hands up to the top of your blouse as he continued his rain of kisses, deft fingers undoing the first few buttons before you can blink. But maybe that movement was enough to rouse you from what was happening, as your hand suddenly flew up to cover his mouth, stopping him in his tracks.

Keith pulled back to look at your trembling form, obviously dazed by his intense affections and trying to piece together a sentence. He knew what was coming but gave you a moment to regroup your scattered thoughts, letting your soft hand remain over his mouth.

"I don't know what's going on," you started, a little breathless, "but I can tell something is bothering you. I won't make you tell me if you're uncomfortable, but I hope you know you can always tell me anything."

You gave him a moment to speak. Keith reached up and gently removed your hand from his mouth, leaning forward to press an awkward kiss to your forehead.

"I know. It's nothing for you to worry about."

"Are you sure?" You could see the prior passion in his eyes had died down, replaced with a rare softness.

He grinned at you, quickly leaning forward to steal a kiss from your lips this time. "Yes, I'm sure. Now, will you let me continue?"

He could see in your expression that you weren't convinced, but luckily, you let the subject drop. You were always so patient with him, yet another thing he loved.

Your lips drooped down into a pout, then, looking off to the side of the bed where your book had fallen. "You know, I was in the middle of reading something."

He scoffed at that. "And? Are you telling me you'd rather do that instead? Or do you want me to keep going?" He slipped a single finger between the buttons on your blouse, tugging it gently, suggestively. He didn't miss the flare of desire in your eyes, and leaned forward, lips brushing against your ear to whisper, "If you really insist on reading, maybe we can play a game and see how long you can focus on your little book before you give in."

You couldn't help but shiver at that, his breath on your ear and enticing words sending sparks through your body. Your fingers curled into his shirt, pulling his body close. "Hmmm," you hummed, pretending to consider his offer. "Is that a challenge?"

Keith's lips curled up into a seductive smile, yours responding in kind, and no more words were necessary as you leaned forward to meet in another passionate kiss.

Perhaps one day he'd come clean about his feelings, face them together with you. He knew you'd accept him regardless, show him he had nothing to fear so long as you were by his side. But he was in no rush for now, simply basking in your attention and happy enough to deliver back the very love you've gifted him all along.

Comments and reblogs appreciated ♡

[harukamitsuki]

i really resonate with your opinions about lance and the fandom surrounding him, but you really kill it any time you say some shit like "i wonder if people would treat him the same if he was white"

they 100% would. this is tumblr, bro. most blorbos are white. just look at the previous main three shows, superwholock. lance being cuban has nothing to do with him being treated the way fandom treats him. he is just, like you said, an everyday man who's easy to project on.

another critique i personally have of voltron is that while everyone's skin tone and background is varied, they all have always felt white to me. they have no cultural identity in the show. was hunk's samoan background ever even named or did we just get that from a book or a tweet? i feel like viewers shouldn't have to use outside material to complete the story in front of them.

the fact that we never got that in the actual writing of the show really pissed me off. and this is as someone who's latino. lance has always felt incredibly white to me because the writers spent no fucking time adding any cultural elements into is character. even if he was a no sabo kid incredibly distant from his culture due to growing up at a boarding school, that would still be something. idk if we ever got anything about him being cuban in the show.

part of the writer's inability to write complex characters is also their inability to write poc.

i think this is also why lance works as an everyday man.

my point is that lance would still be very loved if he was white. he's not getting any extra love bc he's cuban. honestly, i feel like his cuban identity just means fanfic writers get to use google translate for shitty spanish lines that make no sense for the story and to occasionally fetishize him. they put no actual effort into understanding his cuban background. and why would they? the writers of voltron never bothered to.

Yeah, no, I get that. Lance is very white, but because his skin isn't and he's canonically Cuban, people tend to forget that? Luz from the Owl House is 100% latina and it feels like she is. Because she speaks spanish and her mother speaks spanish to her. It doesn't have to be in-your-face, but it would have been nice to hear the POC characters mumble their home language under their breaths, or to speak idioms the other don't know because it's not a universal thing.

For example, everyone knows 'don't bite off more than you can chew', but it's 'the one that embrace a lot, cannot keep it together'. They mean the same thing, but it would have been nice for Lance to just come out with that and everyone is confused until he explains.

Or Hunk calling his parents 'tina' and 'tama', meaning mom and dad respectively. It would have been nice if he made dishes inspired by Samoan culture, such as koko alaisa, or something.

If there was just one scene where one of them struggled to find a word in English, I would have been a lot more convinced that they're POC. Just one scene where someone is all 'oh, what was the word. you know? that thing! the thing, you know!'. Just one short scene.

Or, like, a culture clash? As in, they compare something on an alien planet with something common in their homeland and the others are just like 'what? That isn't normal.' And it just delves into a conversation about what is normal in the US but weird in their home countries.

There's just so much that Voltron could have done, but it doesn't which is a massive shame.

[ode-of-odr]

I think because BG 3 only allows us to go to 12 and because the game has to make changes so things translate to the new medium, the group is made up of some incredibly powerful people. Astarion is the easiest to look at, even in 5e vampire spawn are no joke, they are strong, fast, agile, you know superhuman, and are like this taste of if you think they were rough wait until you face off who made them. While Cazador kept them just shy of feral there is no denying Astarion could take on most mortals with no effort on his end.

Which makes me wonder if his deciding to group up with Tav and co isn't so much because he's a bit uneasy about being in the sun or the tadpoles, but because while he is in the sun, he must have felt some shift in his strength and was unsure how close to mortal he was physically now.

Because Wyll even mentions this about how easy it was for him to tangle with some fairly powerful creatures but now he can't. And his power comes from Mizora, which lends to me wonder if the tadpole was interfering with her influence in that aspect. And it's the real reason she wanted this problem taken care of.

Gale also mentions his power being dwindled, however, I feel this is both the tadpole and him also not being a chosen of Mystra. Because her chosen are true powerhouses. Elmenster straight up walked into the Hells and killed Asmodeous' daughter who wasn't just some cast aside spawn, she ruled in the hells with him. So you know. No some small feat.

It's just so great to think that this group if they weren't infected and allowed to function at full power would have mowed through the Sword Coast, lol

Karlach even, infernal engine aside you aren't a tiefling surviving in the Blood War without being a certified badass. Also, barbarians are known to do some wild shit while in rage. Like just not dying. Add the engine into it? I am sure she was a force to reckon with on the field. Rage is a hell of a drug kids.

So really it's Shadowheart and Lae'zel who don't seem to mention feeling weaker, that I am aware of. Perhaps they are closer to what they were before being infected.

Halsin gets powered down, by game so his stats align with the party, as with everyone mentioning he's known for his healing abilities and such I get the impression he's no pushover druid. The same goes with the previous BG companions.

I don't know about Minthy, I am weakling and don't really play evil, so I don't know if she mentions feeling weaker.

And I mean in the context of tabletop, level 12 is no small feat or low level by any means. Considering most games end at level 20 and it's insane to get that high, at 20 you really are heading into the Hells and Abyss to do some more cosmic level adventures, however, I do feel most of the group was like level 15 before the tadpole.

Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.

[veilchenjaeger]

(I'm going to talk about non-consensual sex in media below, obviously. Just a head up.)

@stripedroseandsketchpads I’m not super knowledgeable about these tropes either, so I’m definitely not the right person to do a detailed analysis of the trope subversions here (or trope subversions in Scum Villain in general). I don’t read a lot of danmei, though I do have a background in old 2010s BL manga, and a lot of tropes do seem familiar to me. I have looked at a few stallion novels, but those are so incredibly misogynistic that they’re impossible for me, a person without access to copious amounts of alcohol, to read without taking permanent damage. But like… What bothers me about the Maigu Ridge takes I see isn't a lack of understanding of the trope subversions (which I don't fully understand either) but how many people miss the basics of what's happening in this scene? I don't think it's necessary to do, like, a close analysis of the text to recognise that Maigu Ridge is not supposed to be sexy?? Maybe I'm wrong and it is hard to tell, but?

I am genuinely baffled by the amount of misinterpretations I see about Maigu Ridge mostly bc I don't think it’s subtle about what it is! I, too, think that MXTX's sexy scenes are sort of odd and not very sexy [Edit: @stripedroseandsketchpads pointed out that this is likely a translation bias, and I agree 100%], but the difference between e.g. the wine enema extra and Maigu Ridge is blatant? Shen Qingqiu is in so much fucking pain at Maigu Ridge that he can barely think! He's hurting in the other sex scenes, too, but not nearly as much, and the tone of those is light-hearted and Shen Qingqiu's narration is funny. There's nothing funny about Maigu Ridge! Shen Qingqiu doesn't very nearly black out from pain in the You Understand extra, because that one's supposed to be cute and awkward and not absolutely horrifying!

And even if we ignore the actual sex (I hesitate to use the term!), the entire way Maigu Ridge is framed makes it obvious that this is very much intended to be read as a traumatic event. First of all, they stop. It’s so important to me that they stop. It would have been so easy to transition into a good, pleasurable sex scene as soon as they're both able to consent, but it doesn't. They stop the second Luo Binghe comes to, because none of what just happened was arousing or made them want to continue having sex. This shouldn't be special, but it is, because this is a romance novel and romance novels don’t do bad sex, but I’ll get into the trope subversion later.

More stuff about the way Maigu Ridge is framed: My favourite thing about it is not the sex scene itself or the build-up to it - I'm not that hardcore - but the conversation they have afterwards, after Luo Binghe regains consciousness. They stop having sex, and they immediately start taking care of each other. This is a scene where they just went through a very traumatic thing together, and they support each other in the aftermath. This is one of the ultimate Bingqiu conversations for me, which cemented my love for them and imo proves how much they care about each other.

Within that conversation, it becomes obvious how shaken Luo Binghe is by what happened. He fucking asks why Shen Qingqiu didn't kill him instead of letting him do this! It's. Just. It's so much. It shows how horrified Luo Binghe is by what "he" (in quotation marks bc he wasn't conscious) just did. He's hurt Shen Qingqiu a lot in this book, in various ways, but here, we see him break down after doing so and pretty much say outright that he'd rather have died. Bingy.

There’s also the fact that Shen Qingqiu tries to calm him down by pointing out that he "was willing". No you weren't, king, but I appreciate you reassuring Luo Binghe that he didn't just outright rape you. It's such a weak reassurance in this moment, when Shen Qingqiu is literally dying, but it still means the world. Everything is so horrible, but Shen Qingqiu successfully pinpoints the thing that makes it slightly less horrible.

Later developments support this reading, too! Luo Binghe, Mr Pushy himself, doesn't dare initiate anything sexual for the first weeks of their relationship! Maigu Ridge is the catalyst for him letting Shen Qingqiu go and not being there when he wakes up (despite having waited five years for Shen Qingqiu to wake up before), because he doesn't believe they can come back from this! In the interview extra, Luo Binghe refuses to name Maigu Ridge as their first time, preferring to pretend it never happened! Shen Qingqiu mostly refers to it as a failure, something that’s tragic bc Luo Binghe as a stallion protagonist should have had a better first time, but his tone in those moments of narration is seriously mismatched with his narration during Maigu Ridge, and ignoring his own feelings about the matter completely and re-framing it as a plot point in a novel instead of a real thing that happened to him is precisely how Shen Qingqiu deals with trauma all the time. Maigu Ridge is so obviously written as a traumatic event, so I really cannot understand people who are either mad that the sex scene wasn't hot (It's not meant to be!) or complain about this scene being super problematic and Bingqiu thus being horrible. (This was very intentionally written that way and Bingqiu themselves acknowledge that it was awful!)

And that isn’t even getting into the trope subversion yet. As I said, I’m not super knowledgeable about that, but I read a post recently that pointed out that a lot of danmei tropes are just romance/erotica novel tropes, and… yes. That’s true. What happens a lot in these stories is the “It starts out non-consensual but the main character (the woman in straight romance, lbr) ends up liking it anyways!” trope. Afaik, this is a staple of stallion novel sex, too. I hate this trope with the fire of a thousand burning suns, and when I first read Scum Villain, I was afraid that Maigu Ridge would turn into that. And then it didn’t. Which blew my mind a little, because main couples in romance or erotica novels don’t have bad sex. Bingqiu are an obvious subversion of that bc they suck at sex even if it is consensual, but Maigu Ridge is that subversion times 100. Scum Villain talks a lot about satisfaction points, so let’s think about reader satisfaction here: For this entire novel, we’ve been waiting for Bingqiu to kiss and get together and fuck. And a romance story isn’t always over with the first time, but usually, such a scene is satisfying because it shows them finally coming together after chapters upon chapters of build-up. Usually, it’s good sex. It shows us that the main couple is meant to be together. (Wangxian's first time is a pretty good example of a sex scene that is more of a problem than a solution but is still good.) Apparently, the “Fuck or Die” trope is a lot more prevalent in the genres MXTX is commenting on than in stuff I know about, so that plays into it, too: It’s the kind of scene that’s meant to be satisfying, and Maigu Ridge absolutely fucking isn’t. This book, which is very much a romance novel, looked the “Fuck or Die” trope in the eye, said, “This would fucking suck irl”, and ran with that. And I think that owns.

Non-consensual romantic or sexual actions are a fucking staple of romance media, and while there can obviously be kinky reasons for that, the fact that it's so prevalent is awful imo. The amount of completely innocuous prime time movies targeted at girls and young women that I've seen where straight-up stalking and sexual harrassment are played as a romantic ideal is horrifying. Not to mention that Scum Villain is commentary on stallion novels, too, and the way non-consensual sex is portrayed in those – books targeted at an audience that is meant to identify with the rapist – is terrifying imo. It genuinely scares me that there are men out there who read these books uncritically and buy into that portrayal of women and consent. I could talk a lot about the nuances of this topic (bc it is nuanced), but let’s just say that it's so important to me to see a scene like this portrayed as the horrible, traumatic even it would be in a realistic setting (while still being a scene in a romance novel that doesn’t end the main couple’s relationship). Maigu Ridge is one of the main reasons why I trust MXTX to address and play with consent issues (as she does with Wangxian).

I don’t think that the message of Maigu Ridge is “The Fuck or Die trope/non-consensual sex in romance novels is horrible and shouldn’t happen ever” – MXTX does include a whole parody of super tropey danmei novels full of noncon with Resentment of Chunshan, which is portrayed as silly but harmless, kinky fun – but it invites us to think about these tropes and the implications they have. There’s a lot of nuance here that I appreciate, especially with the distinction made between the Scum Villain plot, which is situated in “reality”, and Resentment of Chunshan, which is very firmly fantasy. I’d love to read an analysis on this by someone who really knows their shit when it comes to danmei, stallion novels, and Chinese media tropes in general (My perspective on this is obviously very Western!) bc this is all I really have to say about this, but like. Bottom line is that it’s fucking baffling to me why Maigu Ridge is so often treated as the Big Problematic Scene of Scum Villain when it’s literally commentary on noncon tropes in media. If anything, this is the single least problematic Bingqiu scene! What the fuck are y’all talking about!