#it's like top 5 for me i think and i've read a LOT of books

[panevanbuckley]

i was not ready for the bo burnham mention in the acknowledgements for the sunbearer trials and yet it makes perfect sense

[kunaigirl]

Long post ahead, but I really want to talk about this...I think? Oh lord here we go, lol. Anyways, confession time!

I struggled with illiteracy and learning to read for a chunk of my life. I've mentioned it (in passing) in this post that I made about my experiences with having epilepsy, but I decided to make an whole post just for this for a change.

Somewhere around when I was in the second grade, I lost my ability to read and write due to a bad seizure I had. (That combined with the medications I was given too.) A lot of my memories are blank from that era, except for a very few instances I remember clearly. What I do remember though, has nothing to do with the seizure or even what lead up to it, all of that's still gone to this day.

I had lost my ability to read, and also was diagnosed with dyslexia during the quest to re-learn from scratch. (On top of already being diagnosed with ADHD when I was about 6.) I remember very vividly how HORRIBLE everything felt. I couldn't remember the names of things, and I had to re-learn, from preschool up, both reading and writing from scratch.

Somewhat luckily, I didn't lose anything else besides those chunks of memories and my ability to read, and I still remembered who I was, what cartoons I liked, my favorite music, etc. But suddenly, I couldn't read the CD titles anymore. I couldn't read the VHS covers. It was gone, ripped away from me very suddenly, and I knew it was missing. I knew that I already learned how to read and write, but it was forced out of me by a malfunctioning brain. I was home schooled because of it from grades 3rd-5th. (2003-2005)

In the third grade, I had made just enough progress to get books for 5 year olds. Everyone around me acted so proud, but all I could do was cry. I was humiliated. I felt so incredibly stupid, as being illiterate leaves you with no choice but to feel stupid. I threw those baby books around my room and sat on the floor crying. It wasn't fair, I didn't do anything wrong, it was my damn seizures. I had no control.

When I went back to public school for 6th grade, I got called stupid, the r-slur, illiterate, slow, basically every name in the book. Both kids and adults, all throughout those years while I continued to re-learn in real time. In middle school, my reading level was still low for my age, and I had to be in a special program with extra assistance and teacher accommodations. As soon as word got out, the kids were RELENTLESS. It was 06-07, nobody cared about bullying/etc, especially for a public middle school. The bullying never stopped.

I kept working and studying, slowly making progress. Years of struggling, learning to cope, inventing my own short-cuts to help read a little easier, using rulers and paper edges to help guide my eyes, everything. I was still in "special" classes with accommodations all through high school too. My senior year of high school, I graduated on the honor role list. Did that make me happy? It felt nice for sure, but better? Not by much. I knew how hard I still struggled, and still felt very embarrassed by it all. I'll never forget.

As a kid, the pain I felt was so intense. Physically from the seizure, and in every other way with having to re-learn how to spell t-r-e-e. Starting over with pre-K toddler books at 7. Kindergarten level at age 8, and a first grade level as a 9 year old. The feeling of having my memories ripped away just enough to leave me unable to recognize the symbols that decorated everything from posters to TV to book covers. Being told by a room full of doctors and neurologists what had happened, and being quizzed and tested to see what I still had left.

I have never forgotten those long nights. Even though I was a child, the shame and guilt and fear I felt were VERY real and very tense. And the jokes/remarks from both kids AND adults, the notebooks filled with raw squiggly anger, the uphill climb to regain what was taken from me. I will NEVER forget it. Even in college, I struggled with those heavy textbooks and their tiny fonts. I did well enough, but no one else struggled the way I did with them. I did my work and wrote my essays, but it would take full entire days. It still does.

At times, as an adult, I still get stuck on words. I can obviously read and write again, as you can see with this exact post, but it's not over. I struggle with certain fonts, and some books are just to difficult. I still work at it and still try as hard as I can even to this very goddamn day. It never truly ended, all these years later, 20 years later, I still sometimes fight to understand. I feel like an angry and humiliated kid again in those moments, but I'm not that kid or teen anymore. I lived thought it somehow.

I had a dream back when I was 17, where I'm standing in from of my 9 year old self and that pile of baby books. She's crying and looking at me, desperately. I walk over and hug her, proudly telling her "We read The Great Gatsby in high school, and we understand it."

To anyone who has struggled with illiteracy at non-toddler-points in their lives, I see you. To anyone who's struggled with reading comprehension, I see you. To anyone who struggled with writing, I see you. We don't talk about it enough, and I want to change that. I don't want to hide that side of my life experience anymore. Fuck shame, we climbed out of it.

And to this day, a copy of "The Great Gatsby" is still on my shelf. Because I read it in high school, and 9 year old me would've thought that was the coolest achievement ever.

[centrally-unplanned]

Do you know anything about Arthur C Clarke's reception in Japan and in Japanese pop culture? I just finished reading Childhood's End because I've seen it referenced in Xenogears, Gurren Lagann and Planet With, which isn't objectively a lot but more than the zero times I've seen it in American pop Scifi. Makes me curious how big he was over there.

Oh yeah, he was quite big in Japan! Essentially "all" the classic Sci Fi was, and Clarke was one of the biggest. Childhood's End specifically was one of Yukio Mishima's favourite books, for example. All of his works were pretty widely translated soon after release (Childhood's End was definitely available in Japan in the 1960's, that I know), and were very popular with both the SF crowd and the literary scene. In general, he was the right blend of "hard" sci fi with fantastical/spiritual elements that was very much in vogue at the time. And in the early history of Japan's animage community, those were all mushed together as one scene, only moving to more separate tracks in the 1980's. I remember in one of the essays I translated over the years, literary critic Nozomi Omori (in 1997) makes one of those "classic works like" comments and Clarke/Childhood's End is his go-to to illustrate the point. I think you can argue it is in the top 5 most famous works in this era.

A bunch of the specific references you are seeing are the unique lineage of some ~80's anime works like Space Runaway Ideon: Be Invoked. Yoshiyuki Tomino (gundam creator), who directed the film, was a big Clarke fan, 2001 most specifically I think, and the film has several direct nods to him. There are other works that draw from this well, Ideon is just the biggest, and the one that was the most direct inspiration for Evangelion as Anno was a big fan. From there you can see the references go out - Gurran Laagan is a Gainax work, Planet With's creator Satoshi Mizukami was a huge Gainax fan (particularly FLCL, shout out!), etc - as you get later the references become second-order like that, less people reading the classics but the ideas are in the water. Though I don't want to overstate that direct link - Xenogears lead creator Tetsuya Takahashi is just a direct fan of Clarke as well, and explicitly pulled from such works for the project (you can see a bunch in works by Square in the 90's)

Though a personal note, you will if you google around find people saying Evangelion was "referencing" Childhood's End with Instrumentality? Best I know that isn't true, instrumentality itself as a word is a nod to Instrumentality of Mankind by Cordwainer Smith, and Anno is on record saying it is a shallow reference, he just thought the word sounded cool. Anno was not a classic SF fan, he is one of those "second order" guys where he is picking up the stuff movies like Ideon are putting out, but isn't interested in their classic origins.

[dark-l-angel]

if you want requests, I am so delulu, I'm stuck in my own world 24/7 and my brain refuses to stop.....

Jason, who growing up had a crush on reader, but being the clueless person we are we have no clue (I swear it's a curse, I genuinely don't know that someone is into me until they say it. No flirting computes with me) but then the whole- ya know, not living thing happens.... The thing that leads up to Red Hood (I refuse to say it) and reader is later confronted by either Dick or Alfred at the funeral and they're like

“You know he like you, right?” and readers response is

“Not as much as I loved him”

which I guess causes a whole sad thing that I can't cope with, so you decide what happens from there, but basically the ending is when Jason is not the scary evil Red Hood anymore but more the Jason people fantasize about, he tells reader how he feels and IDK man something cute and fluffy, my brain is just sad all the time so all I have is the sad stuff.

Anyways, this is a lot longer than I thought it would be, but here it is, please ignore it if it's weird or too much 😅

have a nice day, peace out ✌️

Princess, believe it or not i had hundreds of scenarios to this situation at fucking 5 a.m when i was ab to pass my bachelor exam *I'm talking math day 💀

And having your own world is nice actually.. ❤ at least you have an escape place from painful reality and ur comfort character is hugging you in your rough times. Hope happiness strikes you like jason's beauty did to me 😃💝 love u deeply 💖

Reunion

Jason todd x fem!reader

"You know that he liked you.. right?" Dick's voice ringed in your ear.. even after all this time.. it's like it happened yesterday..

Thinking while staring at a book jason used to read when you both were younger.. before.. that incident..

You put the book away and picked another, you shared the same love of books with jason, that explains why you become a loyal customer to libraries and coffee shops.

It was always a sad thing to go to libraries, yet it felt like happiness to you.. finally some freedom from this cruel world. You don't have to suffer through reading some simple lines with deep meanings.. in fact, it changed you 360 degrees, your vision to the world has changed since ever jason introduced you to the books.

You were walking around the library while hugging different books, looking carefully through the shelves of another chosen one, Losing all connections with your world, not feeling a specific guy staring at you in admiration.

Your eye fallen on an interesting novel, but it was on the top shelf. You tried to reach it but failed, and you got that idea of reaching it through another book was by your hand. You did, the novel is coming out, but still not enough, you had to put extra efforts by standing on the top of your toes.

"Too bad short angel can't reach her little novel" a tall handsome man was towering you from behind, you looked up and his eyes fell into yours, green emerald eyes inspecting your angelic features in admiration carefully *while you took your time to enjoy his mesmerizing gorgeous beauty like the little whore you and i will do*.

He smirked before looking back to the novel and pulling it out for you, gosh he was handsome, but.. you could swear you know him from somewhere.

He reads the title loud before saying "damn baby girl you've got some pretty good taste out there.. i like it" he smirked "oh thanks, I've always liked that type of stuff especially when *author name* added his pov of the topic.." he laughed.

As you both sat at a coffee shop and continued babbling ab different books to different subjects.. almost everything.. as if you actually know this person years ago, the problem was that you weren't the type to get comfy to people easily.. so what's the matter with this guy?.

Probably his smile that cached your mind? or his emerald eyes and their beauty? his funny jocks? Or it's your shared likings? Or the fact that he was the only person to be able to crack his way through your dead heart and plant a rose of adoration that was meant only for him? The only person to have the ability to warm your heart after all these years? Or him being the reason of your tears of laughter?... sooo much questions going through your head.

You finally managed to ask him.. " i feel like i know you from years, never had fun like this since then.. do i know you by any chance?" You said while wiping away the tears of laughing on his stories.

"You didn't recognize me y/n?" You didn't tell him your name yet.. how would he- "i missed you so much actually... i have been thinking about you in everything i was doing back then, dick might probably told you about it, yet i still do think about you all the time..." you watch the man goes on.. but dick? He spoke about jason only.. and jason is.. gone.. "you forget me y/n?" That can be..

He smiled staring at you in pure love and admiration and adoration.. "It's jason.. the dumb boy who fell dumber in love with you, angel ♡".

Hope you like it ❤ baby gurl was here 😘

[noneorother]

The grand unified theory of Good Omens S2, Hangs on a double meaning - Answering why .5 + .5 = 25 lazerii *The end?*

Part 1 l Part 2 l Part 3 l Part 4 l Part 5 l The end?

Welcome to the end of the Bonkers Meta Series featuring your favourite Art Director/Clue detective. This is it! I'm going to wrap up this series as well as I can with what I think really happened, the final 15 and why Crowley says the things he says. Meta, Spoilers, Beware! All that. “Armageddon only happens once, you know. They don't let you go around again until you get it right.” 

If you've read my Metatron post you'll know that I thought there were *at least* two time loops with tweaks to achieve different outcomes, seeing as we seemed to be presented with two versions of events a lot of the time, two similar lines of dialogue, double meanings for lines etc etc. If you want a really good recap of a lot of the Clues that have already been compiled already you can go through them here. Yesterday I added my own : The columns in front of the bookshop get stained by a demon, and the stain stays and goes. But why do we care?

Here's my final thesis using the context I'll put together below :

The Metatron is changing the past and the present on earth using the book of life. He's forced a time loop of the last few days at least 50 times over a period of (realtime) months to get the outcome he wants : the separation of Aziraphale and Crowley to allow him to complete the second coming. It only worked once. Let me explain.

1) Not time skips, but stitched loops

My theory about the columns goes like this : a demon touches the right column in the attack on the bookshop, and dirties it. The problem is, in every episode we get multiple versions of the column that are dirtier or cleaner. Why? Because a demon has been touching that column in *more or less* the same place and getting it dirty over time, but the effects on the bookshop only layer every loop and reset, instead of being erased. The layering aspect is super important and I'll get back to it. For now, if we take it that the column gets dirtier over many loops, we now know what we are seeing : a bunch of different time loops stitched together to create a sense of time moving forward in a way that we can understand the story, but that skip forward and backward through the loops. Cleaner column = earlier loop. Here's discussion about clock hands if you want evidence, some even saying the hour hand seems to be going backwards in the first episode or the last, or even that the minute and hour hands must be backwards to make sense. If we think of time skipping ever forward and actions getting deleted (as some have said), then clocks going backwards makes no sense. But if we think about it as a time loop where things and actions are ever being tweaked and changed, then OF COURSE the times won't make sense anymore. People don't show up at the same time if they don't do the same thing they did before. The biggest time discrepancies I've seen in a single scene are A) Crowley's phone and watch being an hour apart in S2E1 and B) Inside the bookshop between Gabriel's fly flashback in S2E6 and him and Beez holding hands, there's an hour difference on the clock. I think that by the time we get to very late loops, some things are happening up to an hour later in the day. A simple example we are shown up top is the Eccles cakes. They are there in the first part of S2E1, but then they are no longer there somewhere along the way. In the first loop we see an ordering action/receiving Eccles cakes action, which takes *longer* than just not doing that and going straight to the shop, so that loop will be slightly later. It gets infinitely more complicated the more loops you are looking at, and we have at least 50 of them. How do I know that?

2) A 25 lazerii miracle

If we know that effects on the bookshop are cumulative and don't reset (because columns), then let's try this idea on for size : Aziraphale and Crowley have been performing the same half miracles on the same spot for 50+* loops, and each times they are layering and getting stronger. .5 demon + .5 angel = .5 angelic miracle x 50*ish loops = 25 lazerii miracle goes off in heaven on the latest loop. Shax then confronts Crowley in his car about a mighty miracle, so we're in a loop here where we've layered quite a lot, but not the last loop because he still has the original glasses/ *but also* Crowley's sideburns are long. Compare it to the scene directly after, and how sunny and bright it is. We're in a later loop and and earlier loop simultaneously.

3) Crowley's been testing So I've been searching for a *reason* that Crowley wears a turtleneck in S2E2 and thren new glasses and changes sideburns, and he seems to be up to some pretty crafty spy stuff, seeing as 1) he seems thrilled by it, and 2) he won't shut up about it (How will our hero cope? Jane Austen, nasty piece of work, master spy) There's also this Clue :

Crowley has a secret, as we know everyone with their hands deliberately in their pocket does in the series. I think Crowley knows before Aziraphale that something is wrong, because he's getting little snippets of memory and feeling, and so he's going off to try and change things about himself, the Bentley and the shop to remind himself in the next loop and leave himself clues or change outcomes if he fails to escape. In the early loops it seems like a fun spy mission, but by the end he's pretty tired and jaded that he doesn't seem to be making any headway on his own.

It *also* explains him throwing books and canapés on the floor in the bookshop to see if it changes in other versions. The problem being that Gabriel keeps cleaning everything up and reorganizing the titles to Crowley can't tell if it's his system or not. (lolsob)

It makes this line seem like he can't fit the loop pieces together anymore, and is trying to make headway without any information, rather than a pre-fall reference.

And this line probably much later in the loops (New sunglasses, long sideburns) :

Okay so! To recap : Everyone gets reset every time, and they make different choices because of past and present edits. But, most heavenly and hellish things don't obey earth laws, and therefore things like miracles start layering, and memories start seeping through the loops. (Point 4 is optional but absolutely hilarious, so I'd like to think it's worth speculating about)

4. The flaw in The Metatron's plan

There's a huge flaw in The Metatron's plan however, and it's that Heaven and Hell don't work like earth does. He's spent so many loops trying to get the result he wants, that he doesn't know that something crazy is *also* happening in hell. Every loop, Shax is emptying out the legions of demons until they barely have enough low level lackeys to go up at all. Hell is understaffed because no new people come into hell in the loop from earth, and they're sending all the demons that aren't subject to the reset into battle. This isn't a negotiation, it's a montage.

So the attack on the bookshop isn't one attack, but waves, and the waves get less powerful each loop. Stitched loops would also explain why Shax now hands Crowley his mail again in the last attack after *just* handing it to him on the park bench, like, 4 days ago in an earlier loop.

I don't have evidence for this directly, but if The Metatron put Maggie together with Nina successfully only in the last few loops, then she's fighting in the bookshop only a few times, and doesn't invite the demons in any other times, which might be why the only evidence is the column, and not books being ruined. But, it might also explain why the demon Eric gets discorporated a bunch of times in a row, he's doing it later and later in each loop. (These are kind of contradictory thoughts, I know.)

5. Aziraphale realizes too late. When I wrote part 4 of this series I was pretty awed by the fact that Aziraphale managed to figure out the Metatron was rewriting things after only hearing him say ONE LINE of dialogue. However after more thought, I think that he's been getting close to the truth a bunch of times by communicating with Crowley in previous loops. In each successive loop he tells Crowley later and later, and it's been getting them reset as punishment each time they figure it out together. By the end they barely communicate at all, because they can feel the danger. Watch his reaction here, in what we can assume is a *very late or last loop (because of the time on the clock)*

He stops himself from interrupting and telling Crowley something important he's just realized : that he's seen Gabriel and Beez get together before. "I know what this means..." 6. Saraqael is helping both sides without them knowing We see Saraquael helping Crowley immediately with the trial when she finds him in heaven. Why would she help Crowley without having ever met him before as a demon? The exchange of "Crowley I remember you, we worked on the Hosehead nebula together" and "I meet a lot of people, (*he doesn't say* I don't remember you)" is a code. They are both trying to communicate what they remember like spies on a bench in St.James park. Who recognizes who, who's trying to stop this madness. Maybe once Crowley gets to heaven this time he's seen multiple trials with multiple endings, and Saraquael has seen them too, I don't really know. BUT she's also communicating with Aziraphale at one point. Look at Saraqael in this scene again about the 25 lazerii miracle. She *remembers the book slap* and then the *looks* at Aziraphale in regards to Gabriel.

Yeah Gabriel, IT NEVER F*&?%ING WORKS IN ANY LOOP SO STOP DOING IT. - Saraquel, probably. Are Saraqael and Aziraphale testing later/earlier in the loops as well? Is this when the miracle was weaker? Who knows! 7. The Metatron job offer was many, many offers

It's really hard to tell with all the pieces of the puzzle moving around, but I think I can count 7 job refusal loops by Aziraphale in the last fifteen minutes. Here's a summary 1) Chinwag with Crowley in the room 2) We should go for a walk instead, here's a coffee 3) You don't have to answer immediately 4) Go tell you friend the good news (This is the important one), it's the last one where he tries to convince Crowley to come with him 5) I need to take care of my bookshop 6) The Metatron puts Muriel in charge of the bookshop, but Aziraphale wants to take something with him 7) Aziraphale straight up runs out to Crowley with "I think I-" 4, again) The Metatron takes him out of the bookshop. "Ready to start"?

Trying to screenshot all that would be insane, so just go rewatch it with all this in mind, and look at how the lighting changes inside of the bookshop and the jump cuts to different angles, and how his face resets every time. It's HEARTBREAKING. 8. The argument

I'm so blown away by the acting and writing (as well as the art direction) in this show, and it all comes to a head in the final argument. Many important lines have double meanings in series 2, because everyone is trying to speak in secret code to not get caught. Especially in the final loops.

In the last loops, we have an Aziraphale who is moving ever closer towards accepting the Metatron's offer, with the straw that broke the camel's back being he could restore Crowley as an angel**/save him; and Crowley who is moving ever farther away, by having to hide all of his Clue gathering, and confiding less and less to Aziraphale in each loop.

Check out the double meanings going on in this whole exchange if you consider that they are trying to save each other using secret codes neither one of them can hear. It's so shattering. Especially when you consider they've probably made it to this argument at least twice, and Crowley convinced him the first time. Why do I say that, you ask? 9. No Nightingales

Because I think Crowley remembers a loop where A Nightingale Sang was playing when they kissed, and Aziraphael didn't leave, but he knows they aren't in that version anymore. 10) I'm a demon, I lied. I'll probably post more abut the secondary characters because Shax, Furfur, Michael, Uriel and Nina etc all have roles to play, but for now, this is it.

----------------------------------------- Thanks so much for reading the gigantic post. If you disagree with my thoughts, or think this is terribly wrong, that's totally fine! I won't be offended. Without a real season 3, everything is just ether. Fingers crossed. I'd also like to thank The Ineffable Detective Agency, @embracing-the-ineffable, @cobragardens, @indigovigilance, @yowlthinks and more for inspiring me and feeding my brain with posts. *Loop numbers could actually be 25+ if you think that .5 demon mircales + .5 angelic miracles pour register as 1 whole miracle in heaven, I just didn't want to go into that in the main review. **The Metatron's meddling in the past seems to me trying very much to highlight to Aziraphale how *good* and righteous Crowley is, despite being a demon, in order to convince Aziraphale that joining him in heaven is a real possibility, and he should push for it.

[fictionadventurer]

Top 5 obscure light vintage novels! (Not sure if my previous ask got eaten, but also curious about this one specifically)

The strictest definition of what I consider "obscure light vintage novels" requires a book to meet a lot of criteria:

Published before 1960

Not recommended to me by anyone I know personally (including on tumblr)

Doesn't have a fancy Oxford-Classics-type edition with an introduction. (And none of the author's other books are well-known enough to have one)

Has a realistic setting

Ideally written by a woman or centered around a female main character

Which means that very few books fit this list. But of those few, here are my top five.

Desire by Una Silberrad: Flawed but fascinating Edwardian novel about an eccentric heiress who meets a soulful author and eventually winds up working for him when she loses her money and he inherits his father's pottery business. Fascinating characters, amazing romance, lots of interesting themes. I'm also going to count the author's other novels in this category, because she's come to epitomize "obscure light classic" for me. The Good Comrade is a much frothier novel with some great characters, and Curayl is highly flawed, but its silver-tongued hero lives rent-free in my head.

The Ark by Margot Benary-Isbert: I finished this book less than twenty-four hours ago (so I could include it on this list). It's a 1953 German novel set in 1947, about a refugee family building a home after the end of the war. It reads like, if you can believe it, a cozy post-apocalyptic novel. These people are living through some terrible things, but they make the best of things and manage to find joy. It's chock-full of fascinating details about life in post-war Germany, and reminds you that the people on that side of the war were human too, losing people and places they loved, and doing their best to live in terrible times. There are some superstitious elements later on that I wasn't crazy about, but otherwise I adored this story.

The Romance of a Shop by Amy Levy: Novel from the 1880s about four sisters who open a photography studio to support themselves after their father's death. Extremely underwritten (one of the girls meets an old flame and marries him between chapters), but a very easy, pleasant read with interesting historical details, and some nice sisterly relationships that remind me just a bit of Little Women meets Oscar Wilde.

The Heir of Redclyffe and Countess Kate by Charlotte Mary Yonge: Books by one of the bestselling authors of the Victorian age who's completely forgotten today. Both get too preachy at times, but make up for it by having amazing characters. The first one is a family saga about cousins caught up in an old feud, and the second is like if Anne Shirley suddenly found out she was a countess.

The Rosary by Florence Barclay: The bestselling novel of, like, 1920. It gets very melodramatic, but I was also surprised at how grounded and witty the characters were. I remember very little about it, but I have fond memories of the reading experience, and it earns a place on this list because when I want to find an "obscure vintage light novel", on some level I'm thinking I want to find a book like this.

I know you didn't ask, but I find myself wanting to list five novels that don't quite meet the strict criteria above, but are close enough that I want to highlight them.

The Dean's Watch and The Rosemary Tree by Elizabeth Goudge: Goudge isn't exactly obscure in this section of tumblr (which is why I heard of her in the first place), but she's obscure enough that a lot of her books are out-of-print or otherwise hard to get, and these two in particular are among the best books I've ever read.

The Blue Castle by L.M. Montgomery: Montgomery is extremely well-known, and this book has an ever-growing and very devoted cult following, so it's not exactly obscure, but it's much less well-known than most of her other books. A deep cut, if you will. It fits perfectly within the light vintage novel category, and has long been one of my favorite novels of all time.

Lady Audley's Secret by Mary Elizabeth Braddon: It's got an Oxford Classics (or similar imprint) edition, and is well-known as one of the very first sensation novels, but it's not exactly known among people who don't deep-dive into Victorian literature. I read this last month and loved it. It's a cozy sensation novel with an amazing main character, great atmosphere, and a plot that manages to grip you even while not much happens.

Mrs. Miniver by Jan Struther: It's not exactly obscure if it has a movie adaptation, but from what I know, the movie basically ignores the book, which isn't that well-known today. Charming slice-of-life from the very early days of WWII England.

Helen by Maria Edgeworth: Not exactly beloved, and Edgeworth isn't exactly obscure, but this is a lesser-known novel that fits well within this category. The first half had some moments that were so dull I considered not finishing, but the second half was gripping enough that I can mention it as a nice, obscure surprise of a book.

[writingquestionsanswered]

Worried About Traction/Why Write?

Anonymous asked: Okay answer me this, so I've read how trad publishing is going to shit, but self-publishing I doubt I could gain any traction with. Then why fucking write, ya know? People say, "write for yourself," which sounds like a lot of goody bullshit. I want people to love my writing, I need some type of validation. So, how the hell do I get anyone to care about my stories?

Just a quick note that this ask came in off Anon, and I wasn't sure if it was meant to, so I put I'm posting it Anon to be on the safe side.

So, I don't want to get too much into the "is traditional publishing dying" debacle, because it's a conversation that's complex and nuanced and outside of my energy reserves at the moment. What I will say is that the traditional publishers--the Big Five in particular--still dominate the market, especially where print books are concerned. And although self-publishing can respond more quickly to trends and shifting tastes, traditional publishing continues to evolve.

Having said that, even if traditional publishing was stronger than ever before, that wouldn't guarantee you a book deal. Even in the best of times, the odds of being traditionally published are between 1 and 2%. Even if you get a book deal, that doesn't guarantee your book will be a best-seller. Hundreds of thousands of books are traditionally published every year, and far fewer than 1% of those books will become best sellers. Being traditionally published doesn't even guarantee your book will be sold in brick and mortar bookstores. I can point you toward traditionally published books that have been out almost a year and still have fewer than 10 reviews on Amazon. I can point you toward many more with fewer than 30.

And, while we're on the subject, I can show you self-published books with thousands of reviews (positive ones, btw...)

The point is, it doesn't really matter how you publish. What you write, how you write, and how you market is far, far more important. But the reality is, most of us aren't writing the kinds of books that are going to be best-sellers, BookTok sensations, Oprah's Book Club selections, or get optioned for film rights before the ink on the book deal is even dry. So, when you say you need validation, what does that look like for you? Does it mean seeing your name at the top of the NYT best seller list for five weeks straight? Seeing your book on eye-level shelves at an international airport? Hundreds of fans showing up to your book signing? A-hundred thousand followers on Twitter eagerly awaiting news of your next release? Or, does it look like someone... anyone... enjoying your book enough to leave a 5-star review... someone calling you their favorite writer, several fans re-posting your cover reveal because they're so excited for your upcoming book, or someone writing to say your book got them through a difficult time in their lives? Because, while I would never tell you not to dare to dream of achieving the former list of expectations, I will absolutely tell you the latter list of expectations is well within your grasp. So, if that's validation enough for you, write for those people. If it isn't, and it's not enough to write for yourself, then I think all you can do is try. Write the best stories you can write. Get them out there. Promote the hell out of them and see what happens. Maybe you will be one of those lucky few who see their book at the top of the NYT best seller list for five weeks in a row. Or, maybe you won't, but you get a two-page e-mail from a fan who says your story changed their life. And maybe, after all, that's enough. Here are some posts that can help you start building a following ahead of publishing, whatever route you end up choosing. Building a buzz on social media ahead of publishing and consistent promotion afterward can make a big difference. Even if you publish traditionally. Guide: Getting Your Writing Noticed on Tumblr Guide: Author Platforms-What, Why, and How? Guide: How to Promote Yourself as a Writer/Author via Social Media 12 Sites for Sharing Original Fiction

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

♦ Questions that violate my ask policies will be deleted! ♦ Please see my master list of top posts before asking ♦ Learn more about WQA here

[the-colourful-witch]

The All the Young Dudes book covers project

I've been working on this fun project in my time off from social media. It consists of three illustrations to use as book covers for All the Young Dudes by MsKingBean89 on Ao3. This book has been the foundation of my involvement in the fandom. It's the first fic I read about the Marauders and I loved it so much! I laughed, and I cried, it was a real rollercoaster. After making the cover for A Brief History of Dragons by Eyra, I caught the bug and started thinking of more covers to illustrate. I loved working on the first cover, but I didn't love doing it on my tablet. At heart, I am a traditional illustrator and for this kind of illustration, I felt paper might work better. So I got to work. I knew I wanted to make three covers. From what I've seen online most people bind their own copies of All the Young Dudes in three parts: Year 1-4, Year 5-7 and Until the End. Therefore, I made three covers. I have not yet digitalized these illustrations, but I'll turn them into downloadable covers for binders to use for their book projects. I am working on binding my own physical copies of AtYD too :) It's fun! Right, to the covers. There's so much to say!

Book One

This is the start of Remus' life at Hogwarts and his friendship with the other Marauders. I wanted it to feel a bit like reading Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone for the first time. It's the realisation that magic is real, it's that first spark you get when picking up a book you instantly connect with. That was the feeling I wanted to incorporate in this first cover. There are a bunch of little easter eggs for the story and I hope you'll pick them all out. Let me know in the comments what you think they are. Also, for this project, I studied the language of flowers. I am not sure if all my information is correct, but in this one, I put dandelions in the top corners. Dandelions represent new beginnings :)

Book Two

The second half of the Marauders' time at Hogwarts. This part is all about love and loyalty; something I liked a lot! It's also the time when the Marauders complete their animagus transformations. The animals had to be on the cover! That, I knew for sure. I went for a forest theme for this second cover, because of all the mischief the Marauders got up to in the Forbidden Forest during full moons. I used flower language here as well. For every Marauder I picked a flower I felt represented who they are. For Peter, at the top, I chose Bleeding Heart and Belladonna. Both of them represent betrayal and death. Nice and cheery :) For Sirius, on the Right, I chose Bluebell, which represents loyalty. For Remus, on the Left, I chose Acacia, which represents secret love or forbidden love, because he's hiding his sexuality for most of the book. But it's a love flower and in his core Remus is caring and loving, despite his rough edges. For James, on the bottom, I chose violets. And violets represent love at first sight. I know we all know why <3 I like this cover a lot. The picture is a bit grainy, but like I said, I'm still working on digitalising.

Book Three

Last but certainly not least. This book is about war, love and loss. It was definitely the most challenging piece out of the three, but worth the trouble. On this cover, I put Hogwarts at the top, because that's where it all started and where it ends. On the bottom, there's a prophecy, which is about Harry and Voldemort. There are a few gravestones at the bottom. Very cheerful, I know, but if you pay attention, you see a Deathly Hallows on one of them. On the sides are my favourite parts. I like the lily flower in the arms of death, because it's obvious, but also beautiful. I like the Death Eater on the other side because it's spooky. The snakes represent rebirth and Slytherin House, which is important to the story of the Second Wizarding War, connecting good and evil. Once again I put all the flowers in this piece, scattering them around because they're all interwoven in each other's stories. Finally, I want to say something about the three central images. In the first we see Remus as a child. He's alone and scared of the big scary wolf. The three images are a timeline. It represents Remus' relationship with the wolf in him. At first, he despises it and is scared of it. And finally, he stands with it, not quite embracing it, but he's not scared anymore. In the middle, I wanted to show Remus with his friends, because they banished his fear whenever they were together. With his friends, the wolf didn't control Remus and he could control the wolf. I hope it's all clear. I loved working on these pieces and I hope you like them too!

[yandere-wishes]

Who are your fav authors on here, why and what are your fav fics from them?

Anon, I don't think you're aware of the beast you've just unleashed!

So strap in cause this is going to be long.

Right off the bat, we have, @thefudge. I'm trying so hard not to sound like a deranged fangirl right now. But trust me when I say that I am OBSESSED with every single thing they write! I have read their fics SO SO many times and It's impossible to pick a single favorite one. So here are my top 5

Waiting for the barbarians

Within you is everything I am

I won't be these clothes I burn

His little dead wife 

god complex

Honestly, guys go check out their work they have so many stories spanning countless fandoms. They're literally the ones that got me into Star Wars in the first place! @thefudge I SWEAR I'm not a crazy fangirl, I just really love your writing and works!!

@yandere-romanticaa goes without saying, I've been a HUGE fan of Ana's since literally forever. She was actually one of the Yandere blogs that inspired me to start writing on Tumblr. Again I can't pick just one of her works I love so here's a top 5 list

Wanna Be yours 

Yandere! William Moriarty 

Yandere! Miguel O'hara

Yandere! Nikolai #1 and #2

Yandere! Dazai comparisons

She writes for so many fandoms and updates very frequently. She's also such an amazing and fun person so hearing her stories is always a treat!! Love you lots bestie!!

@fragileheartbeats is another amazing author I love her frigid aesthetic and how it adds a layer of etherealness to all her stories. Her scenarios are magical and written in such a way they evoke such sweet feelings. Honestly reading her stories makes me feel like I'm wrapped in a blanket with hot chocolate watching as the snow silently falls outside. 

Cute little things that melt their hearts (jjk) 

White Swan (jjk) 

How it feels to be loved by them (jjk) 

First kiss (jjk) 

When they become dads (jjk) 

These five are my TOP FAV works from her they're honestly so well-written and utterly adorable!! Guys I'm not kidding go follow her, she is literally my wify!!

@irresistible-revolution

I'm new to their work. BUT "A Coffin Made of Glass" is so beautifully written. It's dead dove yet so utterly bewitching. It takes place in the space between famous Star Wars scenes and gives a more in-depth view of the character's actions and sentiments. 

@spacexseven, omg where do I even begin? Okay, so they just have such a natural way with words. Their stories flow SO smoothly it's honestly astonishing! They've written two Childe fics, "Broken Vows" and "Mandatory Obligations" that I'm wholly obsessed with. The dialogue they write also feels so natural and forthcoming, it's absolutely enticing!!

@rrairey another author whose work I've recently gotten into!! If you're a Sukuna fan then her blog is the place to go. 

Love

Sukuna vs Plushie (a literal BANGER!!)

Gojo vs Plushie

Trust

Bracelet

Seriously, go check out her work!! The way she writes dialogue between the characters and the reader is so utterly perfect. It makes you feel as if you are right there saying those exact words. The scenarios (although) fictional feel so real thanks to her wonderful writing style. 

@dear-yandere needs no introduction, she's a staple in the yandere community. Her stories always blend love and creepiness to a perfect extent. Can I take a moment to just appreciate how poetic and GORGEOUS all her stories are?? Like seriously!! "Almost god" is my favorite fanfic of ALL TIME!! And don't even get me started on "Cry for Me"!! 

This turned out long I don't think anyone was expecting an essay. To be honest I consume more fanfics than published books nowadays so I guess it's a given to have such a long list. 

[riaaanna]

It's well past a "recap" moment but Queen I (2024) was an absolutely delightful surprise with some memorable gems 🥹❤️ so I wanted to make a gratuitous, shameless list of Top 5 from my own archive, just as a memory of how lucky we are to still be able to get so much new content, from a 50+ year old band, in the year of our lord 2024.

#5) Brian and Roger on a press conference for a Queen release.

Sounds like nothing at first but when was the last time this happened that wasn't the 2018 movie or anything QAL related? Not even the Miracle boxset got this treatment. Feels like the start of a new era, the flip of a new page. If they so decide to take tours a lot slower or eventually retiring completely, I would be #1 to say I don't mind them doing it in favour of digging into the old vault, or even possibly releasing new material. (That video was the most crumbs I could collect ANYWHERE btw, and even then it was by request and buried af 💀 amazed at how scarce any video was from that event...)

#4) The boxset of unseen lyrics handwritten by baby Queen.

As if I haven't been vocal enough, the entire boxset is absolutely precious. But my personal love is for these new handwritten materials (which... may have been more in quantity than the unseen photos maybe? I didn't keep exact count but it certainly feels that way). Freddie's WIP lyrics, the band's early gig deals, Roger's diary entries and Brian's personal gig reports (!!). Underrated and hope people appreciate more of these in the future, so the band can see that there's demand for it and release more of them!

#3) My Fairy King: raw acapella and piano (without using AI splitter!)

For legal reasons please note that I've never had an iPhone ever 💀✌️ Please listen to these amazing vocals AND piano (the latter used to be buried in the original mix, listen to the 2024 version during the instrumentals near the end, they definitely had newfound appreciation to the piano and pulled it up to be significantly audible!!) . This, and the outtake in the boxset, is further glorious evidence of their musical complexity sooo early on in their career ❤️.

#2) John Harris' official reappearance to the public Queen fandom.

What a moment to behold, this one. John Harris got in touch with the fanclub and was supposed to appear in 2023 (when I was there!) but it finally happened last year and I don't think words could do justice how historical this one was! There was a preamble to this where he was a guest for a Japanese tour group visiting Ridge Farm, which was SO difficult for me to get anything from, for literal MONTHS (bit of language barrier, bit of gatekeeping, lots of both lmao). So it was only until October at the convention that we finally got to see him and his wholeass Comic Sans Powerpoint.

From this point I will redirect you all to @justlike-awoman's post of the recap of his full conversation above (I'm sorry to keep tagging you on my shit like this El ily ❤️) from the fanclub magazine!! Read through!!

Bonus: among all the posts, this is the least where I had a hand in that actually produces a result, BUT to justify this having a place in my list of contributions, here is a stupid diagram I drew for El for where to get a seat at the convention during his session, in case of a Hunger Games scenario 😂 that's as far as I can claim lmaooo

#1) (re)Discovering baby John Deacon!

Gosh, I think that whole post is self-explanatory. Obviously, the first-hand credits aren't mine (which applies to all the posts I link here btw). But I will take that I Thanos-hand-memed this to fruition lmao. From randomly finding Jim Jenkins' post and him guessing incorrectly and me being gatekept by a website admin and finally getting confirmation from Brian himself lmao what a ride and a highlight of the year.

So thank you Queen in 2024, it's been a blast! Excited for 2025 where we'll hopefully get in time: Queen II (2025), Live at Brixton Academy (Gold Series) and... other Queen official and fan events to come! 🤞💖

[kittybobitty]

Ranking the Danmei I Read this Year

I got into Danmei this February, and wanted to do a top 5, but then realized I'd only read 5 this year lol, so instead I'm going to rank them from least favorite to most. So without further ado:

5. The Disabled Tyrant's Beloved Pet Fish

I picked this one up just because it sounded so ridiculous and funny, and never expected it to be so sweet! It's pure fluff and love. I've only ranked it low because it's just very low stakes compared to the rest of the series on the list. It's a great read in between much higher stakes series that constantly feel like they're ripping my heart out. I love Li Yu's character and how in love with him Prince Jing is. I'm looking forward tk getting the final volume next year!

4. Heaven Official's Blessing

We all know it and love it for a reason. I was absolutely enamored by hualian's love story. I love the lack of relationship drama because they trust eachother so completely, and I think it has one of the best confession scenes of any media ever. However, I did rank it lower because I didn't find the ending completely fulfilling. I know MXTX is doing an amended version and I'm anxious about her removing some characters but I am curious to see if I find the ending any better.

3. The Scum Villain's Self Saving System

It made me laugh so much, and then volume 3 broke my heart. I really love how related Shen Yuan is. It is MXTX's first series and it does feel like it is her first in a lot of ways, but this series has so much heart. I honestly would love to see more of the world explored, because I think it's so vast and interesting.

2. The Husky and His White Cat Shizun

I LOVE this series. I love our himbo protag living in the regret of his previous life, I love how much of a hopeless romantic CWN is behind his cold exterior and damn, it's good spice. I am spoiler free and have not even read volume 7 yet (it arrives tomorrow!) But it's definitely the longest series I've read, I belive it will have 11 volumes in total. I'm really looking forward to seeing how it turns out, but until then, I will keep all the related tags blocked haha

1. The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation

Anyone who follows my blog probably wouldn't be surprised by this. The series with too many titles, MDZS, was my first danmei and still sits atop as my favorite. I see a lot of myself in Wei Ying. His story breaks my heart, but his love story with Lan Wanji heals me. I love their dynamic, their relationship to the juniors, and their devotion to each other. I was to keep experiencing this series in new ways; I already am collecting the webcomic, I've started watching the donghua (and I'd like to buy it) and I will eventually watch The Untamed. Theres also the new stage play happening soon (no idea how I'll see that) and me hoping and praying for someone to pick up the manga for publication in the west. I love Wangxian so much!

And that's all I've read thus far. I know it's kinda basic as far as danmei go, but everyone has to start somewhere! I would love recommendations for what to read next. I do prefer the cultivation storyline, but I'm also open to Palace Dramas. I'm not particularly interested in Modern stories.

I'm likely to pick up Thousand Autumns soon, and I've heard Remnants of Filth is in the same universe as Erha, so I may also check it out. Feel free to leave other recommendations (please also note I'm currently only interested in series that have been published as books in the US, and not interested in reading fan-translations)

Happy new year everyone!

[hiiragi7]

Our Top 5 5-Star Reads of 2024!

1. Cripping Intersex, Celeste E. Orr

Honestly just an incredible book. I think everyone should read it. Really gave me a lot to think about with intersexuality and disability, and I really appreciated it going into the racism of sex and pathology.

-Rainii

2. Refusing Compulsory Sexuality, Sherronda J. Brown

(Yes I finished the rest of the book today just so I could include it here because I liked it so much)

Definitely another "everyone should read this" book!! Brown does a fantastic job discussing asexuality, blackness, white supremacy, and compulsory sexuality. The affirmations throughout were also really soothing to us as an asexual, and the book really provides a good structure for thinking about asexuality and acephobia. Extremely good book!!

-Fennel

3. A Short History of Trans Misogyny, Jules Gill-Peterson

Another extremely good book I think everyone should read. Gill-Peterson brings more of a racial lens to transfeminine history that I've found was sorely lacking in other trans history and theory books I've read, and I've enjoyed her work so much that I plan to read all of her books when I'm able. It's a short book, but has a lot of good content.

-Rainii

4. Braiding Sweetgrass For Young Adults, Robin Wall Kimmerer with Monique Gray Smith, Nicole Neidhardt

I listened to the audiobook of this one, but from what I've seen of the illustrations online, they are absolutely wonderful. This book had a lot of good stories, some of which we've heard before from the elders in our own community, some of which were new to us. It gives good advice and wisdom, and I like the reflections it asks of the reader. Definitely a good book for older kids or young adults!

-Fennel

5. The Selected Works of Audre Lorde, Audre Lorde with Roxane Gay

I'd been wanting to read Lorde's works for a while, considering how incredibly important they are. This collection of her works was a really great way to get into it, and I definitely highly recommend it. I think reading Audre Lorde really affected the ways I think about things and how I view the world.

-Rainii

[iixioria]

If you don't mind me asking, who are your favorite romantic relationship's couples in books/ manga/ anime/movies/tv series (can be canon or non-canon)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before......Thanks....

HI OMG IM SO SORRY FOR THE VERY LATE REPLY, IVE BEEN VERY BUSY BUT SURE! And since I'm a multishipper, I'll just list my top 5 ships out of fandoms I've been in

FengCui: Feng Xiao x Cui Buqu (Wushuang/Peerless) - The reason I love this ship so much and is my top 1 out of all the shows and books ive read and watched is because I'm so in love with their dynamic, development, and interactions with each other. They first start of as rivals then gradually start to fall for each other with each case they work and time they spent togther. I also loved the fact that the author didn't use stereotypical tropes with the main cp. While its enemies to lovers, to me, it's enemies AND lovers because when they do get together, their dynamic didn't change and they still remained the same. And that's one of the reasons why I love this pair so much.

2. Cezhou: Shen Zechuan x Xiao Chiye (Qiang Jin Jiu/Ballad of Sword and Wine) - I honestly debated if this should be my top 1 but I ultimately decided this would be my top 2 mainly bc I prefer fengcui's dynamic more, But of course, that doesn't make this ship any less great and amazing! In my opinion, this is enemies to lovers with sexual tension done right. I used to hate the trope enemies to lovers because of experience and personal things... But this ship changed my perspective on it a lot. Even though they got together early in the novel, they're still the ship that has the most amazing development and growth I've seen in such as a long time.

3. Hualian: Xie Lian x Hua Cheng (Heaven Official's Blessing) - Ah yes... the classic. I had to put them at my top 3 because TGCF and hualian is what mainly got me into danmei and to this day, I still adore them with all my heart and I'll never ever forget how they made such a huge impact on me... They're like romeo and juliet but done right. They're also the couple that made my standards so unrealistic to the point that I think I'll never ever be able to find someone to love as much as how much they love each other... As much as they're unrealistic, they also made an impact on how I view love in general. I also relate to hua cheng when it comes to appearances because dawg... I am also so insecure of that as well... and when Hua Cheng is insecure about it and Xie Lian is just telling him that he's gorgeous and not ugly like he thinks he is just makes me want to cry because that validation and comforting words is what all of us insecure people need. Just having the reassurance that we're perfect just the way we are...

4. Lucathy: Lucas x Athanasia De Alger Obelia/Athy (Who Made Me a Princess) - I LOVE THEM SO MUCH! Athy is so precious to me and I will protect her at all cost! And I love how their relationship just naturally progresses on the time the spent together and isn't just immediate love at first sight. And I also love how lucas went from "I'm going to watch this bc this is entertaining" to "If you ever hurt her, I'll destroy all of obelia" and bro... LUCAS IS SO WHIPPED FOR ATHY ITS SO FUNNY AHAHAH (Also reminds me on how Xiao Chiye is so whipped for Shen Zechuan but that's another time). And not only that, but I love how Lucas got back from his quest, heard about how Athy got humiliated, bro was like: "Should I kill him?" like bro did not care if it was her father, if someone did shit to her, he would deal with them.

5. LoidYor: Loid Forger x Yor Forger (Spy x Family) - BRO I IMMEDIATELY FELL IN LOVE WITH THIS SHIP!! Assassin x Spy? OH HELL YEA! I've honestly been waiting for this kind of trope for such a long time lol. Not only that, but I low how yor is such a girlboss and protects her family even if it isn't real. I honestly really like their progression so far and I hope that they honestly become a family in the end... I have nothing really much to say about this ship because I haven't been keeping up with SXF but I really love them and they're trope because I haven't seen Assassin x Spy trope in fandoms I've been in.

So here are my ships! There are a lot more than these but I just decided to pick which ones that I really love the most and rank them by that. Anyways, thanks for reading this blog!

[firstprince-history-huh]

Favourite Lone Star Fandom Memories

Oh boy where to begin! I have so many good memories of this show! Watching it, being in the fandom, reading fics & so much more!

Thanks to @thisbuildinghasfeelings for starting this & for tagging me! ❤️💕

And thank you for also tagging me @everlastingday @welcometololaland @rmd-writes @tellmegoodbye @heartstringsduet ❤️💕

1. How Tarlos & Lone Star was the first time I think I truly started to be so involved in fandom

So there are a lot of books & TV shows/movies that I had read/watched before Lone Star. And a few months before I knew about Lone Star, I read Red, White & Royal Blue. RWRB is what brought me back to Tumblr after like 5 years & also what got me reading fics again after almost 10 years. I started engaging in fandom because of that. And it is through some of the mutuals from RWRB fandom that I got introduced to Tarlos (more on that below). Now back to my point- although I had started engaging in fandom through RWRB, it was after starting Lone Star that I truly deeply started engaging in fandom as a whole. Interacting with other fellow fans, reading & commenting on fics, being a part of post-episode analysis & discussion about what happened, encouraging (more like pestering lol 😂) my bestie (I was also the one who introduced her & some of my other friends to RWRB around the same time) to watch it is something that I hadn't done to a great extent in any of the previous fandoms.

2. TARLOS

So after Push aired, I started seeing gifs of the "breath baby breath" scene & that is how I got introduced to this fandom. I was like who are these guys? What is going on? And then I saw a few YouTube clips of that scene & I was like ok I'm watching this show. And truly the story of Tarlos is so beautiful! I love that there is no cheating/love triangle drama. Because I've seen that in some of my older fandoms & I just love how they didn't show that with these two you know?

3. The cast

The cast is so incredibly talented! I love the way they portray the characters! Prior to watching Lone Star, the only cast member I had seen in the stuff I had watched was Rob Lowe in Holiday in the Wild & in Parks & Rec. But now there's this whole group of people that I would love to watch anything else that they star in!

4. Live watching

Season 5 was the first season that I truly watched live. Before that, season 3 & 4 I would watch on Disney+ an hour after it aired as that is when the new episodes would become available on Disney+ in the country where I was at that time. So truly live watching has been so much fun! Getting to see what happens & reacting to it in real time, reading other people's reactions has been amazing! And eating Cheetos while live watching- thanks for reminding me of that @lemonlyman-dotcom & your food tag game was my favorite part of my pre-show ritual!

5. Fics

The fics! Need I say more? The fics I've read in his fandom have been so amazing, incredible & brilliant! And the number of times I've re-read some of the fics!

6. My favorite episodes & specific moments from them

Watching & rewatching some of the episodes because I just love the things that happened in them! The soulmate scene has to be one of my top favs because the way it altered my brain chemistry! The Tarlos wedding vows, the proposal, bad call, saving grace, the police station scene from 1x03, the hospital scene from 1x08, PUSH, riddle of the sphynx, Lou 1 & Lou 2, Marjan & Joe's wedding and so many more!

I absolutely loved doing this so much!

I know I'm a bit late to doing this, but OPEN TAG to anyone who wants to do this & also tagging:

@actual-sleeping-beauty @ladytessa74 @ladyknight1512 @carlos-in-glasses @carlos-tk

@ironheartwriter @annoyingcloudearthquake @henrygrass @goodways @detective-giggles

@beautifulhigh @dear-viv @sapphic--kiwi @emsprovisions @sarnagati @paperstorm

@chicgeekgirl89 @nancys-braids @herefortarlos @liminalmemories21 @meditating-honey-badger

@lemonlyman-dotcom @queen-saltyfries

[starryskiesahead]

So…

I may have just found a new anime to obsess over.

Yep. The Case Study of Vanitas is easily one of my new favorites.

My goodness, I don’t ever think I’ve fallen in love with a piece of media this fast. From the first episode, I adored every second, every minute of it. I fell in love with the animation/visuals, the music, the character dynamics, the worldbuilding and lore, the story…I’m just so invested in it and love it absolutely. Noé and Vanitas have an absolutely amazing dynamic and their relationship is one of my favorites that I’ve ever seen. They have easily earned their spot in my Top 5 fictional faves.

Parts of it actually kinda surprised me? For one thing, it's a lot more comedic than I expected. Like I mean. A lot of times it gets dark and fucked up bc all the characters are traumatized and have their own tragic backstories that are made of their trauma and suffering. But it's also not all serious and grim all the time like I initially thought it would be based on my initial assumption. There's a lot of cute, comedic chibi moments (iconic tbh), which I didn't expect from this anime. Also the OP, which I expected to be chock-full of darkness and blood and symbolism and motifs and action and angsty visuals, is essentially VaniNoe going on a date.

In that aspect it's completely different from what I expected but also not too far off from what I've expected, a guy and his soulma-er, partner going on dark fantasy adventures around 19th-century-steampunk France. I really like the concept of Vanitas being a doctor curing the curses that corrupt vampires' true names into malnomens, turning them into forms like monsters - when he pulls out The Book of Vanitas and activates the magic grimoire, it sends a flurry of beautiful, sparkling magical constellations to purify the afflicted like he's a magical girl in a mahou shoujo anime using her special attack to save the day from the monster of the week.

ALSO also... holy shit never before have I shipped ANY fictional pairing as hard as I’ve shipped Vanitas and Noe. I don’t even ship hard 99% of the time AT ALL, the closest was two of my OCs, who are my own original characters so they don't count.

BUT THESE TWO?

THEY’RE JUST SO PERFECT AND BEAUTIFUL AND AMAZING AND AWESOME TOGETHER AND WHY THE HELL AREN’T THE TWO OF THEM KISSING YET?!

like.

I mean I get that Vanitas x Jeanne is canon (don’t care for the ship that much, but I can accept it I guess though I’ll never be super into it) and Noé could have a thing with Domi, but honestly? They’ll never hit the way Vanoé does for me. Even if they never become canon in the end, their relationship, while not necessarily romantic, is nonetheless a dynamic I treasure and the way their personalities play off of each other is my favorite part of the series.

(And even if you disagree with me and don’t see the romance you can’t argue that their relationship certainly did come off that way to a good deal of the fandom, judging by all the Vanoe content I’ve seen. Honestly with the dancing scene, the way they look at each other and are super pretty in each other’s POV, the fact Noé wants a taste of Vanitas’ blood so much when blood-drinking is usually framed as a sexual thing in this series, the first ending song being them reaching out to each other while lyrics like “you made me whole” play in the background….yeah I think someone has to definitely know what they’re doing at this point, right?)

This anime was a blast from start to finish. I was instantly entranced, enthralled, enchanted by it, and I simply can’t get enough, so I ended up binge-reading the entire manga in one day. And I loved and adored it as well! The cover art with all the watercolors is so *chefs kiss* stunning, lovely and beautiful and the mangaka did amazing with it. So talented, wtf?

Love it! 💙🩵💜💖

I do have some criticisms such as I feel the story (mostly in season 1, I feel like it got better around season 2) is kind of…jumping around between plots a bit? I was expecting the main conflict to just be. The problem of cursebearers that Vanitas and Noé mostly go around curing, with a few extra shenanigans here and there. Like the whole thing with Roland and the Chasseurs and the whole encounter at Dr. Moreau’s lab felt like it was a bit rushed or resolved kinda quickly for my tastes? and the ending of S1 with the encounter between Lord Ruthven and Noe right about as we’re about to begin the Gévaudan arc, and just an episode after Jeanne and Vanitas’ little date…And like I mentioned before, I don’t really care for this pairing - though I like both of them as individual characters, and I can accept that this is canon, but I don’t particularly have too much investment in the ship. No hate to anyone who likes it though. And well it’s important enough to the story to not be really ignored, it’s also kinda just. Okay. They like each other. At least it’s a subplot and there’s other things going on, so for me I don’t have to be too into VaniJeanne as a pairing to enjoy the story. Also I’m personally really not fond of the fact both of the times they kiss were forced on each other. But that’s just my two cents. (Toss in Noé and Dominique into the equation and the shipping/romance love square does get more messy/complex, though like I said, I’m glad it’s not a constant will-they-won’t-they love drama thing all the time (no hate to ppl who like it, but not personally fond of those). Relationships are definitely a very important part of this series, and that includes the romance stuff but at least to me it doesn't feel like constant dragged out melodrama all the time.) Also I lowkey do wish Jeanne and Domi got more chance to shine in the first season outside of their connection with the guys. They do get good character development in season 2, and though a good amount of said development does seem to be pretty linked with their relationships with Vanitas and Noé respectively, I can forgive it as after all, the relationships and dynamics are an important part of this series and at least they have entertaining, fun, and likable personalities and their own backstories and lore outside of just being "the girls who are there to be the guys' love interests".

Honestly the pacing to me feels much better in the manga than in the anime - idk if it’s the different format and the fact that I can read it at my own pace, but it just feels less fast and easier to understand. I know for the anime some people found it a bit confusing, and while I partially agree/can see it on some parts it’s not THAT confusing for me and I can still understand the plot okay. But that being said, I think the manga is a bit better at this and in some ways, easier to follow than the anime.

Also, while I love the chibi comedy moments, I feel like sometimes they can be a bit overused from time to time? Especially when it's shortly after a mostly serious moment, it kinda throws me off. The truly serious, dark moments, focusing more on the characters' backstories and trauma, at least don't get interrupted randomly by the chibis, but still it does feel a little jarring when the style randomly switches.

That being said, the problems or flaws this series has/my criticisms don't really take away my enjoyment at all, and I still loved and enjoyed the experience as a whole even when there were somethings I wasn't too keen on , so I can honestly still say that it was such a wonderful, magnificent experience for me. I do hope there'll be Season 3, but I think there's not enough manga chapters to adapt into the anime and the author is on hiatus I believe. Either was, this series has sunk its fangs into me and won't let go, and I look forward to seeing it the whole way through and being there for this journey, beginning to end, I am TOTALLY hooked.

I'm totally along for the ride, and until then, will be looking at all the fabulous Vanitas and Noé art by all the amazingly talented artists out there (keep up your good work, love you!)

(Also Noé might now be my #2 favorite character of all time, up there with Arlo from Number Days. Yes, he's simply that powerful.)

[pinkkop]

Euthanasia and Assisted Suicide:

Spare Me Your Mercy vs. real life

@elimstilnotgarak has got me thinking about Spare Me Your Mercy and specifically euthanasia again so while everyone is talking about how the screenwriter Lux talked about NC scenes in their interview I wanted to talk about something completely different that stood out to me when I read the interview for the first time (other than the NC scene talk), which is this section:

"Euthanasia doesn’t mean you can request an injection to die simply because you’re tired of life. Even in Europe, where euthanasia is legal, there are strict requirements. You must have a certified medical condition specified in the law, endorsed by at least two medical specialists, and the illness must be truly incurable and that you are waiting for death. The purpose of this law is to prevent these individuals from suffering. Instead of suffering for another year, they can die. It's not about being bored with life or lazy to live or not liking yourself when you're old, so you let them inject you with a lethal dose. They don't do that. Many people misunderstand that if you don't want to live, you can go for euthanasia."

The thing is, euthanasia in the form shown and talked about in the show isn't legal in the majority of Europe. Only 5 countries in Europe have legal "Active voluntary euthanasia" which is what Dr. Kan practices and the rest of Europe (except for a couple of micro nations) only have legal "Passive euthanasia" (refusal of treatment / withdrawal of life support)(source: Wikipedia).

I found this particularly interesting because Switzerland is not one of those countries. This made me want to dig further because as long as I can remember media has always been portraying Switzerland as the place where you go if you want to die.

Like in the movie "Me Before You" Sam Claflin's character goes to Switzerland at the end because he doesn't want to live as someone paralyzed from the neck down anymore and even in the BL Every You, Every Me Top's character is going to Switzerland in episode 3, which was the moment I knew episode 4 was going to be really sad because even if they didn't say it explicitly I guessed why he was going to specifically Switzerland.

So why is it that Switzerland seems to have an image of being the place you go if you want to die legally?

It turns out that what IS legal in Switzerland is assisted suicide which has been legal there for over 40 years but even assisted suicide is only legal in 6 countries in Europe in total, if you only count the countries where it's both legal, legislated and regulated (source: Wikipedia).

Switzerland is one of the few places that allow assisted suicide for non-resident foreigners and I'm assuming this is why Switzerland has the mentioned reputation.

If you're curious about the specifics of euthanasia and assisted suicide and how it is enacted in countries like Switzerland I found a really interesting webinar/talk on youtube where a Swiss Palliative Care Doctor talks about her experience with assisted suicide in Switzerland hosted by a Canadian human-rights charity Dying With Dignity Canada in 2022. I found it super insightful and I would highly recommend watching/listening to it because they get into a lot of specifics about how it works in the real world and since the guest is a Swiss doctor and the organization is Canadian you get a broader focus than just what it's like in Switzerland.

One thing I found particularly interesting about the webinar is how Dr. Erika talks about euthanasia (in the form Dr. Kan practices) as if it is not likely to become legal in Switzerland which makes me think that Spare Me Your Mercy and its source book, Euthanasia, should really have been about assisted suicide, but getting into those kinds of details in the book or show would probably not have worked and the book title of Euthanasia is a little cooler than Assisted Suicide 😂

In the small amount of research I've done it also doesn't seem completely clear whether assisted suicide is considered a form of euthanasia but what Dr. Kan does in Spare Me Your Mercy is definitely not helping the patients commit assisted suicide because for that to be the case the patient themselves would need to be administering the lethal dose of medicine.

Hope you found this insightful and I highly recommend doing the dishes while listening to the webinar!