#it's just more interesting to me when that nuance is discussed and explored

[bwat5-blog]

Caitlyn & Violet: A Deeper Look

**Spoilers For All Of Arcane**

Recently I reached out to the community asking for some requests on angles/ideas/topics and so on that anyone would be interested in my analysis on. A few of you amazing folks responded for which I am extremely grateful. @phoenixlionme asked me to delve into a few points I have never discussed at all, regarding Caitlyn Kiramman, and the way she connects to Vi's heritage and past.

Caitlyn as a bridge between cities

Caitlyn's similarities to Vi's loved ones

Caitlyn compared to the leaders of Zaun (for Clarity @phoenixlionme phrased it as people Sevika has followed, this is just an easier way for me to approach it in my head)

So! to that end, I will be digging into these ideas and expanding my own insight into this wonderful character. As I am so fond of saying, good stories matter. And the continued exploration and discussion of this story and it's characters will help it live on. Thank you.

Caitlyn As The Bridge Between Cities:

When the story begins, Caitlyn and Vi could not be from more different worlds. Vi's life is poisoned with violence and loss, even witnessing the deaths of her birth parents at the hands of Enforcers. In that opening scene, they are monstrous. Emerging from smoke and shadow, dealing death and pain all hidden behind cold unfeeling masks. Her childhood in Zaun has made her a hardened survivor even at such a young age.

But in the sunny streets of Piltover, where Caitlyn has been raised, the Enforcers are smiling, happy symbols of peace and safety. Caitlyn is the daughter and heir to one of the great houses of Piltover. Her name means innovation, wealth and respect. She receives shooting lessons from the sheriff of Piltover herself. She joins the enforcers when she comes of age because the reality she has known has only ever taught her to view them as a force for good.

But of course as the story commences we see these two individuals from totally different worlds come together. Their realities joined in ways both good and bad. So let's dig into this further, starting with the simple stuff.

Vi-

Well to state the obvious, Caitlyn is love with the birth daughter of one of the architects of Zaun, and the eldest adopted daughter of another. Although Vi's place in Zaun likely feels unsteady to her after all that occurs in Season 2, it seems logical to suggest that during the reconstruction efforts after the war and during the restitution efforts towards her people she and Caitlyn's relationship will help bridge the gap in general.

Sevika-

At the end of season two, Caitlyn has given the seat of house Kiramman to none other than Sevika of Zaun. People have done just about everything in their power to pretend this doesn't matter. It does. It just does. I know there were people hoping to see the Piltover elite lined up and executed by firing squad, while Jinx reigned supreme over the flames and was served tea by a chained and forcibly blinded Caitlyn, all while Vi excoriated herself with a flail and sang Jinx's praises loudly for all to hear. But for those of us who were never fitted for our tinfoil hats, this is a massive step.

The council hold the highest positions of power in the twin cities. And now because of Caitlyn, one of them belongs to the undercity. She has literally created a link between the two surrendering her own families power and giving it to the undercity who have never had that voice before. It isn't all encompassing change because that isn't real. It's a first powerful step made by someone with all the power, to start bridging the divide.

The Commander -

Alright. Now we start getting into the more complex part of her relationship with Zaun. Caitlyn's arc is immensely complex and controversial and there is a lot of depth and nuance to this part of her story. I have written about this in HEAVY.. HEAVY DETAIL. So if you would like to see that I would love for you to check it out. But for our purposes here I am going to keep to the basics. Because to discuss how I feel the aftermath of this will lead to her having more of a connection with the Undercity, we at least need to go over what happened. To begin with, lets do a very quick barebones rundown:

Born in Piltover

Entered Zaun with Vi

Reentered Zaun leading strike team. Hunting chem-barons, Jinx, and Shimmer.

Becomes The Commander

Occupation Of Zaun

The War

The Strike Team:

Now, on a logical level only, the strike team did not do anything wrong. The Chem-Barons were dangerous drug lords. Shimmer is an absolute threat to all of the Undercity. And while there is obviously so much more to be said about Jinx, for their purposes they are hunting a dangerous terrorist who just assassinated three of their leaders. Yes. For logic based purposes only this does also includes the Grey. I have beat this horse to death, kicked it while it's down, revived it, and shot it in the head. I am not doing it again here. So I will just say that on a purely logical level, using a non-lethal crowd dispersal weapon on specific targets while hunting dangerous crime lords and a terrorist who likes things that go boom.... Not the worst idea.

The real issue with the strike team's actions, can be discussed in two points:

Caitlyn's motivation-

"Can I do the right thing for the wrong reason? Is it bad that I'm making friends with my demons, and Living by a couple deadly sins Just to make sure I finish what you began And I ain't afraid to lose a life or ten If it means that I get to win in the end (woo) So I'ma do this on my own, step into the danger zone Pull the pin and watch it blow

I would rather die alone" (Hellfire Arcane)

The problem is that Caitlyn did not lead her team into the undercity to liberate it's people. She did so for revenge. Each action pushing her further and further into her rage and pain. So even though her actions were "pure" her intention was driven by hate.

2. History with Piltovan Oppression-

As stated, the goals of the strike team were pure. And on a purely logic based level, the fan reaction to the grey has been hyperbolic to say the least. The problem is in the history. Uniformed Enforcers using a weapon that no matter how overblown the reaction does make people choke and cough and possibly pass out. It's all just too reminiscent of what the Undercity has been through before.

The Occupation:

So despite this being a massive part of this story, for our purposes here there is not a terrible amount to say. As very rough overview:

Caitlyn has become commander over the two cities during a period of Martial Law.

Ambessa Medarda rules from the shadows using Caitlyn as her scape goat.

All of Zaun has been placed under full occupation until Jinx is found. Dissenters are jailed, there are checkpoints, and it seems as though the Noxian "peace keeping forces" are being as brutal as possible. Therefore driving dissent and anger to even higher levels allowing Ambessa more time to achieve her goals.

Occupation ends when Caitlyn realizes how she had lost her way, turns on Ambessa, and the occupation ends in the days leading up to the final battle.

The issue of course is that Ambessa's part in this aside, Caitlyn was the face of it. And as I have said from the beginning, I am NOT attempting to absolve Caitlyn of her responsibility in what happened. Some portion of our fandom have essentially chosen to pretend Ambessa just strolled in, and offered Caitlyn the job of despot while they held hands and skipped through the torture camps together. You and I know better. But the people of Zaun lived it. And they don't have the benefit of having seen everything we saw and understanding all of Caitlyn's story. So at the end of the day Caitlyn is the face of the oppressive regime that made their lives hell for a few months.

How They Move Forward:

Okay. So tying it all together how could "Commander Caitlyn Kiramman" possibly become a bridge between cities with everything that has happened? Because they are all moving forward. I am not pretending that it is anywhere close to over. In fact as I said earlier when discussing Sevika it is just a step. But Zaunite and Piltovan alike saw Caitlyn almost give her life to end Ambessa. And the two cities fought side by side against the threat to all life that Viktor posed. So moving forward:

Caitlyn is married to a famous Zaunite.

She has given Zaun their first real step toward equality.

Her guilt is going to drive her to keep working to make things better for the Undercity. It doesn't take deep character analysis to see that.

She is a Kiramman. Despite her perversion of her families work with the ventilation during her darkest moments, she has all of that knowledge now. I predict she will keep working alongside Vi to find ways to make things right.

I know people have felt quite strongly that the show didn't do enough to resolve Piltover VS Zaun. But I think people need to remember that as insane and epic as it was, this show was essentially a prequel to our time in this world. There is so much more to come. Caitlyn is a young woman who has made mistakes, but I predict will go on to do great things for Piltover and Zaun both. After all, if the right hand woman of the man who unleashed shimmer on their streets can become their voice in government, and the feared and insane terrorist daughter of Silco can become their hero, maybe their former oppressor can become one of their greatest allies.

Caitlyn's Similarities To Vi's Loved Ones:

This is an interesting one! I honestly had never even considered this sort of thing but when I started digging there are many qualities of those Vi loves that are all collected with Caitlyn Kiramman. I'm sure you could do a massive list for this sort of thing so this is just some ones that stuck out to me.

Jinx:

The parallels between these two characters have become quite well known at this point and for good reason. Their intertwining stories are a massive part of this show and impact both of their characters greatly. But in terms of her connection to Vi, I have one I really want to focus on.

Putting Vi First: Both Jinx and Caitlyn go through a tremendous amount of suffering over the course of this story. Their stories are so in-depth, and complex and layered. And over the course of their stories, they both hurt Vi terribly (obviously there is more to it, there is a lot of nuance to these situations and I'm not dumping on Caitlyn or Jinx. Just staying on topic). But for two characters who are at one point almost sworn enemies, when it comes to addressing the pain of one they love, they are remarkably similar.

Caitlyn- So much happens between Caitlyn and Vi. But when it comes down to it, with Vi angry over Jinx's imprisonment and Caitlyn and Vi still far from totally reconciled, how does Cait makes things right? She gives Vi the choice. She clears the way for her to free Jinx if she chooses. Even knowing that that Vi could take Jinx and vanish forever if she chose, and Caitlyn would never hold Vi in her arms again. She puts Vi first. Even though it could be the end of her.

Jinx- Good lord talk about complicated. The relationship between the sisters is beautiful and heartbreaking in equal measure. There is so much on both sides, but when the moment I want to discuss comes, Vi has come to free Jinx from prison. Jinx knows that Vi has lived a life, consumed by guilt over everything that has occurred. Vi has never allowed herself to choose her own happiness for a variety of reasons. So what does Jinx do? She forces Vi to let her go. She locks her in the cell and gives Vi the permission Vi would never have been able to give herself. She tells her she deserves to be happy, to be with Caitlyn. Because in that moment of terrible sorrow even with all that Jinx is suffering, her eyes are finally opened to how much she loves Vi, and how much Vi loves her.

2. Vander:

Much like Vi and Caitlyn, at first glance it seems almost laughable to try and find common ground between "The Hound Of The Underground", and "The Leader Of House Kiramman". But if we really dig into it, the similarities emerge. In fact far more than I ever would have guessed.

A: Both do something they regret in a moment of deep loss and pain to someone they love.

Vander- We really are never given all the specifics, but whatever Silco became, Vander completely owned his regret and remorse over trying to take Silco's life.

Caitlyn- In that horrible moment after ventilation chamber battle, Caitlyn clubs the woman she loves in the stomach with her rifle stock and abandons her crying in the dark. I could write pages on the evidence of her remorse (and have written quite a bit) but you get the idea.

B: Both can see the truth of Vi's worth.

Vander- "You have a good heart. Don't ever lose it. No matter how the world tries to break you"

Caitlyn- "Despite it all I can tell.. you have a good heart"

This is especially impactful given Vi's struggle to see the worth and value in this part of herself as her story continues.

C: "When people look up to you, you don't get to be selfish.. whatever happens. It's on you".

Vander- At the moment he is in Silco's clutches, facing death. Vander does not beg for his life. He simply asks Silco to spare the lanes. Spare the Undercity. His self sacrifice continues all through the heartbreaking series of events that follow. Attacking the shimmer mutant, taking shimmer himself to save Vi, and blocking Vi's body with own during the fall.

Caitlyn- Now of course, it would be completely out of character for Caitlyn. But thinking about in strictly what is possibly, Caitlyn had just about any other option if she did not want to stay and fight Ambessa. Let alone on the front line. She knows she played a part it everything going so wrong, and rather than using her wealth and power to escape the fighting, she plants her feet and faces down the devil who almost took her soul forever. Never-mind the fact that she rips that knife out of her own body to help finish Ambessa, knowing full well that may well be the end of her.

*Caitlyn laying down her hate for Jinx in favor of her love for Vi works here as well*

Caitlyn's Reflection Of The Leaders Of Zaun:

Each of the three here have in some way shape or form been leaders to the people of the Undercity. And for a character who became such a figure of oppression to the people of Zaun, Caitlyn Kiramman shares a lot with all three of these figures. We have discussed Vander and Jinx. But I wanted to talk about Silco for a moment:

Finding "Strength" out of pain:

Silco- In the wake of Vander's betrayal, he reinvents himself. Believing only in the strength needed to destroy those he views as his enemy. Even if it means betraying every ideal he ever had.

Caitlyn- In the wake of her mothers loss and her separation from Vi, she becomes someone the old her would have despised under Ambessa's tutelage. Becoming a better fighter, gaining "control" over two cities, and learning to be ruthless. But in fact surrendering everything about her that made her who she is.

The Difference however, is Caitlyn sees the truth. Because of a variety of factors she sees how far she is fallen and that she has betrayed her belief and her ideals. She sheds her own blood alongside those willing to fight for her to protect all people regardless of the city of their birth. She finds the true strength that Silco couldn't.

Conclusion:

Sorry for the GIF-a-palooza but every time I think about her character her story gets me more and more. She truly goes through so much, learns, changes, falls down and picks herself back up. Thank you again to @phoenixlionme for this opportunity to delve deeper into her character and get me thinking in ways I hadn't considered! I hope some of this may lend itself to peoples understanding of this incredible character and if not hopefully at least the enjoyment of the show. Thank you to anyone taking time out of your day in this mad world to read the writing of a grouchy nerd like me. You will probably never know how much I appreciate it.

Keep standing up for stories that matter. See ya next time.

[stephaniebrownthespoiler]

I honestly do understand the urge to insist that Babs doesn't consider Bruce her dad at all in any way shape or form but I also find it to be a huge disservice to the complexity of their relationship and dynamic

[sminny-wew]

I had a long discussion with friends earlier about the gender bias in how YA books are marketed and it somehow evolved into me saying "We need more fiction that questions the concept of attraction itself"

We got into how easily romance can be latched onto other genres (romantic comedy, romantic drama, fantasy romance, historical romance, etc.) and I started asking myself what an arocom (aromantic comedy) would look like. I decided, based on an old Tumblr post I can't find that joked about some comedy movie being aro representation b/c it had no romance, that it can't just be "a comedy with no romance at all", because then that's just a regular old comedy. By that logic, SpongeBob would be an arocom, which doesn't make sense b/c it largely focuses on non-romantic plots (SpongeBob working at his job, failing to get his license, the general shenanigans he and his friends get into) and only addresses romance sparingly, depending on the plot of an episode.

It sucks to admit but at least from my perspective, in order for a piece of media to qualify as "aromantic/asexual media" in the heavily sex- and romance-catered media landscape, it kinda needs to address sex and romance in the first place. As wonderful as it would be to escape for a few hours to a book or show or game where romance isn't addressed at all and think of that as aro rep, you can't really call attention to a character's lack of romantic or sexual attraction without acknowledging, even indirectly, that those exact things exist within the text.

I'm not saying sex and romance are inherently bad either. There are aces who engage in sexual activities, aros who date, folks on both spectrums who engage in kink because kink is not inherently sexual and just approach relationships in so many incredibly nuanced ways. It's not just about aspecs also having parents and siblings and pets either, we have friends and coworkers and neighbors. We have interests and skills and hobbies. But it's not just the cishets who place sex and romance on such a high pedestal as "fundamental aspects of what makes people human", I see it within the LGBT community too. There are more than a few openly queer folks out there who don't know or have forgotten that because asexuality and aromanticism are a lack or absence of attraction (and thus a lack/absence of conformist heterosexuality), that we are, to varying degrees, queer as well. And thus media with aroace subtext (or just text for that matter) tends to get excluded from discussions of queer subtext.

I feel like I got a little off-topic and rambly but Idk I just think we need more aspec fiction where people are free to explore all spectrums of attraction as much as they want, ask questions about what defines a relationship, and just generally bear in mind relationship anarchy when they create. I'd like to see it in mainstream media but I'd also like to see it in fanfic too

(Btw everything I just said also extends to people who are poly)

[thewriteadviceforwriters]

Hii,

I am writing a story with a female lead. She is going to go through a self discovery arc in which she explores her sexuality. I want to jump back and forth in timeline to when she’s a teenager and doesn’t realize she is queer (and in love with her best friend) but i am having a hard time figuring out how to show she is queer without telling (bc it’s from her pov). Any advice or thoughts?

Showing Queer Identity: Tips for Writing Self-Discovery Arcs

Hey there, fellow writer! 💖✨

First off, I want to say how awesome it is that you're tackling such an important and nuanced topic in your story. Self-discovery arcs, especially those involving sexuality, can be incredibly powerful and relatable for so many readers. It's fantastic that you're putting thought into how to present this journey authentically!

Now, let me dive into the meat of your question: how to show your character's queerness without explicitly telling, especially when she doesn't yet realize it herself. This is a challenge many writers face, and I'm excited to share some thoughts and techniques that might help you navigate this delicate balance.

Showing vs. Telling in Sexuality Representation

The age-old writing advice of "show, don't tell" becomes particularly crucial when dealing with a character's sexuality, especially in a coming-of-age or self-discovery narrative. It's about creating a tapestry of moments, feelings, and interactions that hint at the character's true nature without spelling it out for the reader (or the character herself).

(I have an entire post on Prose Tips with Show, Don't Tell. And another one where Telling Is Better Used Instead of Showing)

Here are some ways you can subtly show your character's queerness:

Physical Reactions: Pay attention to how your character's body responds to her best friend or other girls. Does her heart race? Do her palms get sweaty? Does she blush or feel a flutter in her stomach? These physical reactions can be powerful indicators of attraction, even if the character doesn't recognize them as such.

Lingering Gazes: Describe how your character looks at her best friend or other girls. Does she notice small details about them? Does her gaze linger on lips, hands, or other features? This can be a subtle way to show attraction.

Comparisons and Contrasts: Have your character compare her feelings for her best friend to her feelings for boys. She might notice that she feels more comfortable, excited, or "herself" around her friend than with male love interests.

Dreams and Daydreams: Use your character's subconscious to hint at her true feelings. She might have dreams about her best friend that leave her feeling confused or flustered upon waking.

Jealousy: Show your character feeling inexplicably upset when her best friend spends time with others, especially potential romantic interests.

Admiration vs. Attraction: Your character might think she's just admiring other girls' appearances or personalities, not realizing it's actually attraction.

Discomfort with Heteronormative Expectations: Show her feeling uncomfortable or out of place in typical heterosexual dating scenarios or discussions about boys.

Intense Emotional Connections: Highlight the depth of her emotional bond with her best friend, showing how it goes beyond typical friendship.

Personal Thoughts and Advice

As someone who's written queer characters and explored sexuality in my own work, I can't stress enough how important it is to approach this topic with sensitivity and authenticity. It's not just about representing sexuality; it's about capturing the complex emotions, confusion, and eventual self-realization that come with discovering one's identity.

One technique I've found particularly effective is to focus on the emotional journey rather than the physical aspects of sexuality. Especially for a young character who hasn't yet realized she's queer, the emphasis should be on her feelings, her confusions, and her gradual understanding of herself.

Remember, sexuality is a spectrum, and coming out to oneself is often a process, not a sudden realization. Your character might go through phases of denial, curiosity, experimentation, and finally acceptance. Each of these stages provides rich opportunities for character development and storytelling.

Unique Tips for Showing Sexuality in Writing

Use Metaphors and Symbolism: Incorporate imagery that subtly reflects your character's emerging sexuality. For example, use blooming flowers or changing seasons to mirror her personal growth.

Contrast with Heterosexual Experiences: If your character dates boys, show how these experiences feel different (and perhaps less fulfilling) compared to her interactions with girls.

Pop Culture References: Have your character relate strongly to queer characters in movies or books without fully understanding why.

Physical Proximity: Describe how your character seeks out physical closeness with her best friend - sitting close together, finding excuses to touch, etc.

Internal Monologue: Use your character's thoughts to show her confusion. She might question why she feels so strongly about her friend or why she's not interested in boys like her other friends are.

Microexpressions: Describe tiny facial expressions or body language cues that betray your character's true feelings, even if she's not aware of them.

Avoidance Behavior: Show your character avoiding situations that might force her to confront her sexuality, like setting up her friend with boys or talking about crushes.

Mirror Scenes: Create parallel scenes in different timelines to show how your character's understanding of herself has evolved.

Navigating the Timeline Jumps

Your idea of jumping back and forth in the timeline is brilliant for this kind of story. It allows you to contrast your character's oblivious teenage self with her more self-aware adult version. Here are some tips for making the most of this structure:

Echoes and Parallels: Create situations in the past that echo or parallel events in the present, highlighting how your character's understanding has changed.

Dramatic Irony: Use the reader's knowledge of the character's future to create tension and poignancy in the past scenes.

Evolving Language: Show how the language your character uses to describe her feelings changes over time, reflecting her growing self-awareness.

Physical Changes: Use descriptions of physical changes (hairstyles, fashion choices, etc.) to quickly orientate the reader in different time periods.

Pivotal Moments: Identify key moments in your character's journey and use these as anchors for your timeline jumps.

The Importance of Authenticity

When writing about sexuality, especially from a perspective different from your own, research and sensitivity are crucial. Consider reaching out to LGBTQ+ organizations or individuals who are willing to share their experiences. Reading coming out stories and queer literature can also provide valuable insights.

Remember, every person's journey with their sexuality is unique. While there are common experiences, avoid falling into stereotypes or oversimplification. Your character's story should feel genuine and personal.

Balancing Subtlety and Clarity

One of the biggest challenges in showing rather than telling sexuality is finding the right balance between subtlety and clarity. You want to drop enough hints for the reader to pick up on, but not so many that it becomes obvious to everyone except your character.

A good rule of thumb is to make the signs clear enough that a queer reader or someone familiar with the coming out experience would pick up on them, but subtle enough that someone without that perspective might miss them – much like how your character is missing them herself.

The Power of Supporting Characters

Don't forget the role that supporting characters can play in showing your main character's sexuality. Friends, family members, or even strangers might notice things about your character that she doesn't see in herself. Their reactions, comments, or questions can be powerful tools for indicating to the reader what's going on, even if the main character remains oblivious.

Addressing Internalized Homophobia

Depending on your character's background and the setting of your story, you might want to explore themes of internalized homophobia. This can manifest as your character actively pushing away thoughts or feelings that don't align with heteronormative expectations. Showing this internal struggle can add depth to your character's journey and make her eventual self-discovery even more powerful.

The Journey of Self-Discovery

Remember that realizing one's sexuality is often a gradual process. Your character might have moments of almost-realization followed by retreat into denial. These back-and-forth moments can create tension and keep the reader engaged in your character's journey.

As your character grows and changes, you can show her becoming more comfortable with herself in subtle ways – perhaps she becomes more confident, more authentic in her interactions, or more willing to stand up for herself and others.

——————————————————————————————————

Writing about sexuality, especially from the perspective of a character who hasn't yet realized their own identity, is a delicate but rewarding challenge.

Remember, the key is to weave these elements naturally into your narrative. Don't force it – let your character's experiences and emotions guide the story. Trust your readers to pick up on the subtle cues you're laying down.

I hope these ideas and tips help you in crafting your story. Remember, every writer's approach is different, and what works for one story might not work for another. Trust your instincts, stay true to your character, and don't be afraid to revise and refine as you go.

Writing about sexuality and self-discovery is not just about representation – it's about creating stories that can help readers understand themselves and others better. Your story has the potential to be a light for someone struggling with their own identity, or a window for others to understand experiences different from their own.

As you write, keep in mind the impact your words might have. Approach the topic with sensitivity, respect, and an open heart. Your character's journey of self-discovery is a beautiful and important story to tell.

Final Thoughts and Encouragement

Writing about sexuality, especially in a coming-of-age context, can be challenging but incredibly rewarding. Here are some final thoughts to keep in mind as you work on your story:

Authenticity is Key: Stay true to your character's voice and experiences. Even if you're writing from a perspective different from your own, strive for authenticity in emotions and reactions.

Embrace Complexity: Sexuality is complex and often fluid. Don't be afraid to show the messy, confusing aspects of your character's journey.

Avoid Stereotypes: While some common experiences exist in the queer community, try to avoid relying on stereotypes. Make your character unique and three-dimensional.

Consider Intersectionality: Your character's sexuality doesn't exist in a vacuum. Consider how it intersects with other aspects of her identity, such as race, class, or religion.

Show Growth: As your character becomes more aware of her sexuality, show how this knowledge impacts other areas of her life and relationships.

Be Patient: Writing about such personal topics can be emotionally demanding. Be patient with yourself and take breaks when needed.

Seek Feedback: If possible, get feedback from sensitivity readers or members of the LGBTQ+ community to ensure your portrayal is respectful and accurate.

Remember, your story has the power to touch lives, open minds, and maybe even help someone on their own journey of self-discovery. It's a beautiful responsibility, and I'm excited for you to embark on this writing adventure!

Keep writing, keep exploring, and most importantly, keep being true to your characters and your story. You've got this! 💖🌈✨

If you have any more questions or need further advice as you write, don't hesitate to reach out.

Happy writing!📝🎉- Rin T.

Before you go, why not join us at The Write Right Society? We're a supportive Tumblr community where writers lift each other up. Whether you're a newbie or a pro, we'd love to have you! Share your work, get feedback, and connect with fellow wordsmiths, writers and aspiring authors. 

[rubikswriter]

Heavy is the crown - a Caitlyn Kiramman character analysis.

(Tumblr really messed the formatting up on this, and it’s like 15k so there’s no way I’m editing it again - check my Twitter RubiksGaming12 to read it in it’s correctly formatted form)

I’ll preface this by saying that I have no prior knowledge of LoL lore, but I’m a big fan of angsty, nuanced characters, and that’s why I want to talk about Caitlyn Kiramman.

I’m sure this has all been talked to death in the fandom, but from my brief time in it, I can see a lot of varying - although mostly negative - views on Caitlyn. Especially in season 2. Caitlyn, however, is a character who has swiftly made her way onto my favourites list and I feel the overwhelming need to wax poetically about her.��

I love a character that’s been consumed by darkness in some way and attempts to find their way back; from Darth Vader, to Xena, to Villanelle. I love all the shades of grey these characters bring; that not every act of good is seen in absolute glowing white and every negative in pure darkness. To me this teetering on the line in between is what makes for such rich characters to experience, explore, and devour.

I’ll start by saying that one of my favourite things about Arcane is how it doesn’t hold your hand the entire time. It’s not always direct, slammed in your face, explanation. It asks you to pay attention; to look, and listen, and think. It wants you to make the connections, to see the use of lighting, of revisiting environments, of the connection to the music/score. It wants you to question. 

Would we all have liked more episodes? Hell yes. However, I think the show does a wonderful job with Cait’s character arc within time/ep restraints it had. 

With that said, if you hold negative views on Caitlyn, my thoughts on this definitely won’t interest you in the slightest. You’ll keep your opinion, and I’ll keep mine. Art is subjective after all. But if you want to share thoughts and opinions and discuss openly, then please do. I love hearing and delving into all theories.

So with that said, let’s break my thoughts down —

Caitlyn is a Kiramman; a member of an influential house in Piltover. Her family's reputation precedes them, especially with her mother on the council. I think it’s safe to say that with such a privileged upbringing, when we meet Caitlyn in Season 1, it’s obvious that she has been sheltered from the depth and reality of the systemic divide between Piltover and Zaun, and just how oppressed the Zaunites really are. 

But there’s more to Caitlyn than her just being another mere, blindly accepting member of the Piltover elite. In fact the show hints that it's a direct result of her elite heritage, that Caitlyn grows into such an ambitious, confident, woman who has an unwavering, determined, drive to prove herself on her own merits rather than just on the coattails of her family name.

We see her kindness shown in her friendship with Jayce, a man older than her and sponsored by her parents, a person considered below her on the social ladder, and yet he’s her one true friend. She’s interested in his ideas, has concern and fondness for him. It presents Caitlyn as someone who goes against the grain of what’s expected of her, her curiosity of wanting to know and understand more than just the high society she’s part of is evident. It’s something that we see that sets her apart from the majority of her peers who are content with their lives and have no desire to question it.

I believe it’s her ambitious drive and her natural, kind curiosity that sets up the basis for her arc in Season 1. 

We see her commitment to her marksmanship in the flashback, she’s damn good at the skill she’s worked hard to hone, and yet we see Cait questioning her own merit when Grayson appears to let her win. Her first thought is ‘did my parents pay you to let me win?’ which is such a sombre reality. Has this happened before? It appears that even from a young age the weight of the name Kiramman is something that’s been weighing Cait down. A burden of expectation and equally a privileged advantage, even when it’s perhaps not deserved or wanted.

When Grayson says she let Cait win not because her parents paid her, but because she thought Cait deserved it, it validates Caitlyn in a way not many people do. Especially when Grayson is more skilled and less privileged than her. She tells Caitlyn that she doesn’t need to win, that protecting the people is the reward in itself. I think this interaction further unlocks and propels Caitlyn’s desire to earn respect rather than have it given to her because of her name.

So when Grayson asks her ‘what are you shooting for?’ I think Caitlyn is finally able to give herself the luxury and agency to decide to want more for herself than what is simply expected, and to go after that, no matter what people think. Her parents included.

That scene with Grayson, I felt, was vital in seeing, at least partly, why Caitlyn becomes an enforcer. It gives her a sense of purpose outside of the family ties. Something that’s just hers. Something she can achieve and be proud of, and something she can outwardly present amongst the community she lives in. She holds firm in her resolve and assurance that she’s made the right choice for herself even when her mother tries to keep her safe by limiting her work, and when her peers snigger mockingly at her that she should be at the cocktail party rather than guarding it.

After Jinx’s attack and her removal from the enforcers at her mother’s request, we see Caitlyn become even more solidified in her self belief. While she may be a little idealistic and naive to the wider workings of the world, Caitlyn proves she’s an intelligent, kind, empathetic person, and has a fire in her for seeking justice and protecting people. She genuinely seems to want to make a difference, and I think that’s why she fixates on the investigation of corruption in Piltover and how deeply connected that is to Zaun and its underworld. It’s another chance to prove herself to those that don’t truly see her as more than the Kiramman name.

This is obviously driven further when she meets Vi and has her released to help facilitate her investigation. Having Vi be her guide through the Undercity allows Cait to have her eyes opened to a different perspective than her own, and challenges Topside’s preconceptions about bottom. It’s seeing through Vi’s eyes that enlightens Cait to Zaun’s true struggles and drives her desire to want to help and advocate for Zaun further. While realising at the same time that the Piltover Caitlyn thinks she knows is equally corrupt in parts (Marcus’ betrayal highlighting this). 

It’s through Vi’s eyes, through her struggles, through their developing trust and connection that we the viewer can recognise that Caitlyn is meant to represent the moral compass of the show in S1 — She’s the one that gets us, the audience, to also question what Cait thinks she knows, versus the reality of what she’s now learnt (Silco, shimmer, Marcus, Jinx, Ekko and the firelights); that there is no good and bad, only shades of grey between the twin cities.

In understanding Caitlyn as the character we get introduced to in season 1, I think it’s really important to understand that it’s Caitlyn’s privilege that gives her the knowledge and position to try to drive a change forward. But it’s her character outside of her privilege; her kindness, her empathy, her risk taking and her willingness to challenge rules and ideals that makes her the right choice to help. Vi and Ekko aren’t trusting just any Piltie to help them, they’re trusting Caitlyn because of all that she exudes and stands for. It's unknown to Vi and Ekko at that time that Caitlyn is a Kiramman, or the weight that name holds. Caitlyn never divulges that about herself, instead she mentions Jayce, her friends being on the council. But we the audience know that it’s her family name that gives Caitlyn immediate access to her mother and the council where others - like Vi, Ekko, and the other Zaunites - would not have such a chance. 

We see, through her relationship with Vi, that Caitlyn doesn’t use her privilege to overshadow Vi and the Zaunties' struggles. She moves the pieces into place because she has the entitlement to do so. She lets Violet be the mouthpiece for herself and the Undercity’s struggles when addressing the council, showing that she sees Vi and the Zaunites as equals.

When Caitlyn’s mother is introduced to us, we understand that she’s not a big fan of Caitlyn essentially lowering the family name by becoming an enforcer, and that she purposely interfered in Caitlyn’s work to protect her; moving her to stand guard at her tent, and having Cait dismissed from the enforcers after the initial Jinx attack. However, Cassandra Kiramman clearly loves her daughter and after hearing how passionate she is, listening to Caitlyn outline the failings of the council she sits on, she schedules the councillors for Cait and Vi to talk with.

‘You’re a councillor’s daughter, your actions reflect on the entire body,’

‘You know what else reflects on the council? Its citizens living on the streets, being poisoned, having to choose between a kingpin who wants to exploit them and a government that doesn’t give a shit.’

We can see in this exchange just how much Caitlyn has grown from episode 1-8, and I could talk so much more about her growing relationship with Vi in season 1, but I think we all can agree that Vi grounds Caitlyn. She shows Caitlyn a world she hadn’t ever truly seen or understood. Vi challenges her in ways Caitlyn has never been challenged before, and she sees Caitlyn as she is; as simply Cait. Something that nobody else does. The fact that Caitlyn is a Kiramman is an afterthought, something Vi only learns later on when Caitlyn insists she can help with Zaun’s plight. 

Even when Caitlyn fails to achieve what they want from the council she remains determined to try again, but it’s Vi that walks away. It’s Vi that can only see how to do things one way and knows that she has to leave Caitlyn behind to do it. Vi, I feel, is essentially protecting Caitlyn from something she knows Caitlyn doesn’t fully understand and never can simply because of their separate birthrights. She will never really be able to understand that oppression, and Vi is too afraid/guilty to relinquish what little control she has left when it comes to Jinx.

Caitlyn acts in the council meeting according to the hierarchy she grew up in, something that Vi doesn’t have the luxury to indulge in. That’s why she walks away and goes to Jayce. Vi needs to take things into her own hands to try and save her sister and deal with Silco, she chooses the undercity way and leaves Caitlyn to mull over the topside approach. Vi’s own guilt gives her a heavy burden of responsibility that she can’t let go of.

We see after their separation that Caitlyn isn’t content with Topside’s action, or inaction, she’s frustrated with the lack of doing nothing but not doing enough. We see this when she’s in the shower thinking of Vi; her image represents what Caitlyn wants to fight for, what she can’t let go of now. A better life for them all. I truly believe that Caitlyn, with her dogged determination, would have tried again and again and again to help Vi with Jinx and Silco, and would have found a way to persuade the council to help the Undercity heal. It’s the first real indication we get that Vi has become one of Caitlyn’s biggest strengths, but will also become one of Caitlyn’s biggest weaknesses, as we see at the end of Season 1.

This all pieces together when Jinx foils Caitlyn’s plans to try and help and kidnaps her. Instead of Caitlyn working towards finding a balanced, diplomatic, solution that will benefit Piltover/Zaun and bridge the divide, we get Caitlyn receiving a nice dose of trauma; Jinx threatening her life and blowing up the council tower. Topped with the crushing burden of conflict and guilt; having the shot on Jinx but not being able to take it due to her loyalty and affection for Vi. 

It’s this event and every moment that happens during it that shapes the foundation of Caitlyn’s arc for season 2. 

——

We start season 2 with the consequences of the actions of season 1. Jinx is free and Caitlyn’s mother was killed along with some of the other councillors thanks to Jinx’s attack. This is already an intolerable pill for Caitlyn to swallow, knowing that not only did she have the shot on Jinx that could have prevented her mother’s death, but I’m sure Mel makes it known to her that she and the council were voting in favour of Zaun having independence. 

As such Season 2 is rich with character development for Caitlyn, and I think the best way I can share my thoughts on it is to break it down into her development journey per act.

Alongside looking at the events/effects of each act on Caitlyn’s character I want to focus on the three faces Cait claims to haunt her in S2E1; her mother (whose memory is manipulated by Ambessa), Jinx, and Vi. I believe that individually these three characters are the driving force behind Caitlyn’s descent to darkness and also her light back to the good woman we know Caitlyn Kiramman is at her core. 

Let’s start with Ambessa since I feel like her role is critical to Caitlyn’s moral downfall. However, in order to fully understand Caitlyn’s descent into darkness in season 2 I believe it’s vital to understand Ambessa, her motives, and her role in manipulating Caitlyn for her own gain.

So let’s jump back a second and look at Ambessa before we dissect season 2:

In season 1 Ambessa arrives in Piltover under the false pretense of visiting her estranged daughter Mel - who we all know is a wealthy and powerful

Councillor in the city - and confides in Mel about her brother, Kino’s death. It seems Ambessa feels responsible for her son's death, and that she’s certain those responsible for his death will continue to seek revenge upon the Medarda’s and Noxus. 

This brings us to the real reason for Ambessa’s visit. Having grown aware of Piltover’s progress with Hextech, Ambessa sees the opportunity to create and use Hextech weaponry to protect her family and thwart any threat to her people. Essentially, Ambessa begins her game of manipulation early in season 1 by hoping to convince Mel to engage in war with the Undercity using the weaponised Hextech to squash the conflict. Ambessa sees these two cities and the tensions between them as a testing ground for Hextech weapons, and a chance to grab power, which luckily Mel sees through and prevents.

With Mel not being so easily manipulated, aware of her mother’s warmongering ways, Ambessa quickly changes strategies and attempts to manoeuvre Hextech’s creator, Jayce, into weaponizing the technology. While Jayce refuses at first, Vi tempts him further, and together they take Hextech weapons into the Undercity with the goal of attacking Silco’s shimmer factories, only for Jayce to end up accidentally killing a child working in one. This immediately stops Jayce and ruins Ambessa’s second attempt at manipulation to mass weaponise Hextech. 

With promises of allowing Mel to return home to Noxus with her if Mel will simply allow the war between Piltover and Zaun to happen, Ambessa makes her final move of season 1. Luckily Mel stays true to herself, and right before Jinx blows up the council building, Mel sides with Jayce in offering Zaun independence, and encourages the other councillors to do the same. 

It’s as we head into season 2, in the wake of Jinx’s attack on Piltover, that we see Ambessa use the chaos to reestablish her footing and create another angle of manipulation to work with.

She first tries to speak through Councilor Salo, which Mel catches immediately, knowing that her mother is determined to gain power. Mel agrees to invade the Undercity to capture Jinx but without Hextech weapons, once again stopping Ambessa’s push to put Hextech into weaponised action. 

With Ambessa’s plot mapped, let’s move back to Season 2 and Caitlyn’s development:

Act 1:

Ep1 - 

It’s important to note that even at this point in her grief Caitlyn is still fighting for the people of Zaun and trying to prevent a war; she stands by Jinx being solely responsible for the attack and doesn’t want Piltover to flood the Undercity with enforcers. 

Because Ambessa failed to use Salo to get the councillors to invade Zaun with Hextech we see her next power play. She’s the one responsible for the memorial attack, she allows it to happen only to set herself up as the saviour with her Noxian troops. This act pushes her agenda forward, the next time the council meet they feel taken off guard, fearful and desperate to find a way to fight back and protect themselves. But before Ambessa can speak up, Caitlyn arrives with her strike team armed with Hextech weapons and does the task for her. 

Caitlyn’s goal is obviously to minimise damage, which is a stark contrast to what Ambessa wants overall, however it’s the perfect way for Ambessa to test her goal. I believe it’s at this point that we witness Ambessa noticing Caitlyn for the first time and understanding her influence. Something Ambessa definitely notes for later on. 

/

Next we have Caitlyn’s relationship with Vi to consider. 

It complicates Caitlyn’s grief. What should be a simple anger becomes a layered torment. How do you openly and intensely hate the sister of someone you care about? How does Caitlyn move past understanding Vi’s care for Jinx and refusal to give up on her at the end of season 1? Especially when that reality caused Caitlyn to hold back, go against her gut instinct, not shoot, and ultimately allow Jinx to kill her mother and further divide Piltover and Zaun.

The scene with her dad expands this conflict. Her guilt and self blame are evident when she admits she had the shot on Jinx. We see it manifesting in her refusal to willingly accept the Kiramman key. From someone so confident and self assured in season 1, we quickly see Caitlyn displaced and unsure. She’s gone from knowing the safety of her place in the Piltover hierarchy chain, to suddenly having to step up and fill that role her mother held. It’s a big responsibility and one Caitlyn doesn’t feel deserving or sure of. 

(Adding to this quickly that I love that it pans to Vi overhearing Caitlyn’s confessions, I think it perfectly foreshadows that Vi is going to have to witness someone else she loves descending down a path that’s a product of her actions. What a heavy cross to bear (maybe I’ll do a deep dive on Vi next)).

I also think it’s important that we talk about how Caitlyn is someone who keeps her emotions close to her chest, whereas Vi wears hers on her sleeve. Caitlyn’s grief is all over her face but it isn’t necessarily spoken aloud, she isn’t a blubbering mess. She only cries when she has the safety of Vi to be vulnerable with, and even then she only allows herself a brief moment. In true Caitlyn fashion, she then throws herself back into her way of dealing with her grief through action. I guess it makes sense that she feels inaction is what caused her pain, so of course going with the enforcers to find Jinx in the Undercity is a good idea. 

What perhaps isn’t her best idea is asking Vi to put on an enforcer badge and join her. I think Caitlyn is super clouded by her own grief here to even consider whether this is a good idea or not, especially given what she knows about Vi’s past. However, I would say that I truly believe that Caitlyn believes she’s asking Vi to join her for the right reasons. We witnessed Cait try and dissuade the council to invade Zaun already, so to think that Caitlyn believes that Vi’s presence on the enforcers side would help bridge a divide between Piltover and Zaun isn’t out of the realm of possibility. It makes sense for Cait to think that showing unity against Jinx would send a good message to the people of both cities. It also acts to ease Caitlyn’s own fears about Vi’s feelings towards her and Jinx. Where does Vi’s allegiance lie now? Can Vi see that Jinx is too far gone now and trust Cait to make the right decision? It’s a risk but a reassurance I think Cait desperately needs from Vi to anchor herself. 

Even though Vi initially rejects her offer to join the enforcers, after the memorial attack, when we see Caitlyn at her most unbalanced, Vi is there once again to provide comfort to Caitlyn at her most vulnerable. Vi understands what Caitlyn needs from her. I think at this point Vi is consumed by her own pain and guilt, and that while she clearly can’t mend Jinx’s heart, perhaps she can protect Cait’s. It’s why I believe Vi ultimately joins the strike team Caitlyn sets up. She feels a sense of responsibility to put things right too. It’s a tentative balance between the two of them; it’s the promise of action without overzealous violence hinged on an achievable goal of apprehending Jinx.

/

We see Caitlyn, for the most part, admirably hiding her pain, grief, and self blame for her mother’s death (as Mel tells Jayce) but we also see glimpses of her strong facade cracking with anger at Jinx. 

Her anguish and guilt begin to manifest into hatred, and we see this evidently in Caitlyn’s visualisation of taking the shot at Jinx. This externalised hatred of Jinx is understandable in the wake of her mother’s death, and has left Caitlyn’s family with a gaping hole that she herself now has to quickly navigate to fill. 

While Jinx isn’t part of the memorial attack it triggers a reaction in Caitlyn; her pain and anger breaking free and making her lash out. We see her in her grief going from defending Zaun; ‘there’s good people down there’ to ‘they’re animals’. While that thought doesn’t grow further yet (thanks to Vi’s grounding presence) it does seed and begin to take root inside Caitlyn, waiting to blossom later in the season.

/

Ep 2 & 3:

Episodes 2 & 3 take a closer look at Caitlyn’s invasion of the Undercity with her strike team. So I’m going to combine my thoughts for them. 

We see at the end of episode 1 that Caitlyn discovers the creation of the ventilation system the Kiramman’s created to provide clean air to the Undercity. Now this next part seems to be where I witness a lot of hatred and negativity of Caitlyn’s character journey this season coming from.

While I completely agree that her use of the gas in the Undercity is a bold and controversial choice, I think there’s a misunderstanding of how Caitlyn was using the gas. I get the sense that people think she was just gassing the whole of the Undercity when in reality she states what she plans to do with the gas in her mission outline; locate Jinx, dismantle shimmer and neutralise any agents still loyal to Silco.

Remember Vi is part of this strike team, I doubt she’s letting Caitlyn murderously gas her people. Instead, she’s probably guided Caitlyn into where the shimmer factories and the gangs are located. It’s these areas that the gas is being used. Does this justify her use of the gas? I’m not sure. I think it’s a moral grey area. Does violence of any kind, from any side, justify a violent retaliation? I think this is sadly a case of human nature. It shows the cycle of hatred, of violence being used to justify peace. It’s a tale as old as time; everybody is the bad guy in somebody else’s story. It’s a cycle that keeps repeating until somebody breaks it.

And that’s the theme the show wants to explore in season 2. Caitlyn’s actions are unsettling. Rightfully so. It’s a breakdown of what happens to people’s morals when they’re challenged by outside forces they can’t control. I think Arcane takes these issues and presents them cleverly throughout the show, and to write a character off as simply bad or good is a disservice to the depth they’ve been given.

The show forces the audience to step into each characters shoes and ask:

‘how far are you willing to go for the people you love?’

‘How far is too far?’

‘How do you know when you’re crossed that line and can you stop yourself going further?’

‘Can you come back from that?’ 

‘What can you do to break the cycle?’

We see these questions starting to get asked as we move into the tail end of Act 1.

The montage at the start of episode 3 is super heavy with explanations of what exactly the strike team does in Zaun. Sadly, I do think if you’re casually watching some of the depth of this montage is lost which I’m assuming is a time restraint/stylistic choice that had to be made for S2.

That said, let’s look at it carefully:

I feel like the bright colours are really menacing here, especially when you see Caitlyn and co fully suited up with the green gas behind them. It makes the image of the gangs running away look small and weak in comparison. When in reality we know these guys have helped Silco flood the lanes with Shimmer and are definitely part of the violence in the Undercity. It then flickers through scenes of the team fighting against the gangs, of them achieving their objective to dismantle shimmer and neutralise anyone still loyal to Silco. But it also makes a point to show Caitlyn apprehending these criminals in a non-lethal way; it seems she fires the same net-type bullets the enforcers fired at Vi and Powder way back in the opening episodes as they escaped from Jayce’s apartment. Most importantly it shows them holding Jinx’s wanted poster, inquiring for her whereabouts. This, we know, is the driving force behind all of Cait’s actions. A venture that is clearly proving fruitless so far. It’s clear that Jinx’s continued allusion only heightens Caitlyn’s grief and anger. 

While searching the Undercity for Jinx, we see Caitlyn, Vi and the others looking for Jinx in the old arcade where Vi and Jinx played as children. The use of the gas and seeing Vi playing enforcer enrages Jinx and she taunts Caitlyn by switching on the moving targets and momentarily appearing behind one before disappearing once more. While Maddie confirms the place is all clear, Caitlyn appears to begin to hyperventilate, her frustration with not apprehending Jinx clearly agitating her and teetering her closer and closer to the edge of her grief and control. She shoots where she was certain she saw Jinx standing, showing her ability to follow through with her shot now, and once more it’s Vi that has to approach her and ground her, bringing Caitlyn back from the Jinx demon plaguing her.

I want to make a point of noting that Vi is involved in the entirety of the strike team invasion into Zaun. This doesn’t make the use of the gas a right, but it does draw a line under what even Vi thinks is acceptable for Silco’s goons to suffer in their quest to get Jinx. When Jinx confronts Vi about this later, Vi even says they were using the gas to minimise damage (note - Cait hasn’t lost all morals) - ‘We used the grey to clear the streets. To keep people safe.’

We see Jinx using one of the Chembarons’s minions to lure Caitlyn and Vi further down into the pipeworks. While questioning the guy, Caitlyn continues off the back of her agitation from ep2, her frustration at not having found Jinx already making her snappy and twitchy. When Caitlyn demands an answer on how Heenot got there, she looks far too trigger happy, and Vi immediately notices the unsettled shift in Caitlyn, moving to kneel in front of Heenot. This serves to put her in Cait’s eyeline in an attempt to ground her once more. Vi gets the answer Caitlyn was seeking without violence but instead of calming Caitlyn, the knowledge that Jinx is close by only seems to amplify Cait’s vehement determination for vengeance.

Vi can see Caitlyn is becoming increasingly consumed by her hatred and asks to speak to her for a moment and then— well, let’s go ahead and talk about the kiss. That first kiss… 

I personally think that Vi’s voice actor Hailee Steinfeld and writer Amanda Overton give voice to my feelings on this far more coherently than I ever could: 

‘The dialogue before [the kiss] says it all. Vi's in a place where she's lost everything. She's lost anything and everything she's ever felt seen by or close to," Steinfeld continued. "The only way she has any of it left is through Caitlyn, and she's now asking a lot of her, asking her not to change given what she's now going through. I think it unlocks a newfound vulnerability.’

While Amanda adds to this:

“To me, that kiss, because it comes so early in their arc, was always meant to be the right thing for the wrong reasons. You want to feel really good because they’re finally kissing, but the promise that Vi asks her in her desperation is an impossible ask. Caitlyn responds in a way where she wants this to be true, Vi wants this to be true. Both of them want this to be true, so kissing was their way of covering that up.”

I think the kiss acts as a balm to both of their insecurities and guilt about their roles in the losses they’ve faced and may face again. Do either of them believe the promise, I’m not convinced, but it’s an important moment for Caitlyn to feel reassured by Vi’s loyalty. It feels like Vi has her back as they now approach Jinx, and that if Caitlyn can make the shot, she has Vi’s blessing to do so. Vi is her strength and Caitlyn needs that before she comes face to face with Jinx once again.

The only problem with the kiss and the faux promise is that it’s fine in theory but not in practice. I think Vi was trying to convince herself she could let Jinx go for Cait’s sake, but once she sees her, especially with Isha, Vi can’t commit to it. 

This is the driving wedge between her and Caitlyn, because that kiss promise they just made, well in Caitlyn’s eyes, Vi didn’t keep it. It feels like betrayal. Vi has prevented her from taking the shot against Jinx twice now. 

This is the pivotal moment that ultimately leads to Caitlyn being unable to untangle Vi from Jinx in her mind. Her feelings are too clouded by her grief, and her anger finally shifts from Jinx to Vi. Vi, who in Cait’s eyes, let her down. It’s heartbreaking but in the next moment Vi pays the price for Caitlyn’s transferred anger by taking Caitlyn’s rifle to her gut. And just like that, Caitlyn breaks her promise too. 

Has she really changed or is Caitlyn merely lost in her own self hatred, grief, insecurity and guilt? Whatever the answer is, without Vi, Caitlyn no longer has an anchor to stop herself spiralling completely. It leaves her vulnerable and open to manipulation as we see.

/

We see Ambessa growing impatient after Amara attacks her and reveals the Black Rose are aware that Ambessa isn’t relenting in their feud, instead she’s in Piltover looking for an advantage by gaining access to Hextech weapons. As a result Ambessa returns to manipulate Salo, wanting to use the councillor to once again to push her agenda and gain more control. But Salo is equally frustrated by his use in Ambessa’s plan. It’s during Ambessa’s exchange with Salo that Caitlyn comes up again. 

We know Ambessa has taken note of Caitlyn when she stormed the council with her strike team idea and thwarted her attempt to use Salo to urge the council into a full invasion of Zaun, but in this next exchange with Salo we see Ambessa once again  grasping exactly why Caitlyn could be the key to her power play.

‘It’s enough work propping you up without you dulling what few wits are left rattling around in there.’

‘If you propped as well as you prod, maybe I’d have better uses for my time than sitting around waiting for an update on Princess Kiramman’s underground escapades. She’s gotten no closer to Jinx. But that doesn’t seem to steal the stars from anyone’s eyes.’

‘Perhaps if you hadn’t let the child overpower you in your own chamber.’

‘It’s not the girl. It’s the name. It bewitches people.’

Ambessa, at this point, still intends to use Salo as her puppet by gathering the elite of Piltover, so she can essentially speak through Salo, and urge for further action to be taken against Zaun. However, the knowledge she’s gained about Caitlyn from Salo comes in very useful when Ambessa actually makes her play for power at the end of episode 3. 

Mel even notes how clever and strategic Ambessa is when talking with Lest, ‘everything with my mother is a calculated risk’ showing that Ambessa will do whatever is necessary to achieve what she wants. This becomes even easier for Ambessa to do with Mel and Jayce out of the picture, leaving Piltover wide open to her manipulation.

Ambessa takes advantage of the Jinx/Zaunite attacks on Piltover and Amara’s disappearance (or shall I say, her own cover up) to create a new narrative. She starts by using Salo as her mouthpiece, here he lays the foundation that Ambessa is a trusted and worthy ally for Piltover. Whose experience Piltover should take advantage of. Ambessa continues this narrative, painting herself as a kind ally who was simply going to help Amara rebuild Piltover before the Zaunties attacked again. 

Ambessa uses the continued and growing fear of the Piltover elite to encourage the conflict - ‘wrath must be met with wrath.’ - setting up the idea of martial law as a necessary move to protect the people and return Piltover to safety once more. We see Salo thinking he’s finally going to be rewarded for being Ambessa’s puppet, only for Ambessa to manoeuvre past him. She takes the knowledge he’s given her about Caitlyn Kiramman and the worth of her name and chooses her to command instead.

Ambessa knows of Caitlyn’s grief and her unwavering desire to bring Jinx to justice in vengeance for her mother’s death, and now Ambessa can take Caitlyn Kiramman and twist her focus to encompass more. Caitlyn Kiramman can be the pawn Ambessa uses to start the conflict between Piltover and Zaun. Caitlyn Kiramman will get the elite to listen. Caitlyn Kiramman will use Hextech weaponry to do so, and in doing so, Caitlyn Kiramman will give Ambessa the power she needs to confront the Black Rose.

At first Caitlyn is shocked by Ambessa’s decision to choose her for command but once Ambessa and the Noxian’s begin their chest salute, Caitlyn becomes overwhelmed with the pressure of the Kiramman name. She told her dad she didn’t feel worthy or ready, and here is Ambessa, someone the Piltover elite now trust, someone with experience, who is saying she believes Caitlyn is the right person to protect the people. It forces Caitlyn to step up and fill that hole her mother left; to represent Piltover as a Kiramman. Ambessa achieves this cleverly by taking advantage of Caitlyn at her lowest. Ambessa plays into the combination of Caitlyn’s own guilt, grief and self loathing and peer pressure, and buckles Caitlyn to her will, molding her into a Commander who will carry out unspeakable things to grasp power.

Let’s talk about the persuasion of the peer pressure - it’s peer pressure that comes not only from the Noxian army but also from Caitlyn’s own enforcers - Maddie being the one to chest salute from Piltover’s side first. It’s not surprising given we know she’s a spy - but before this knowledge is gained Maddie is seen as a good hearted, kind enforcer wanting to do the right thing. Without Vi there to question and anchor Caitlyn, Maddie is a familiar and reassuring face Cait can turn to. So when Maddie joins the Noxians supporting Caitlyn for commander, so too does everybody else. Now it’s Piltover looking at Caitlyn to make this right.

What do you do when someone you think you trust encourages you to step up? When everyone who relies on the Kiramman name wants to believe in you? It feels like a task Caitlyn cannot fail in… not like she failed her mother. 

Ambessa, seeing Caitlyn beginning to cave to the responsibility, uses the rawness of Caitlyn’s grief to manipulate her again, just as Caitlyn might possibly be starting to question it all. Before the doubts can fully form in her head, Ambessa is there, oinking her poison into Caitlyn’s ear - ‘your mother will have justice. I swear it’. 

There’s that question for Caitlyn and the audience again - how far are you willing to go for those you love?

It’s Ambessa’s manipulation at its finest, a final, powerful shove in the direction Ambessa wants, and Caitlyn, in her broken state, falls for it.

It’s these events of the entirety of Act 1 that I believe sways Cait into taking the position of commander. By giving Caitlyn the power of command over the enforcers and her Noxian army, Ambessa enables Caitlyn to descend into an even darker spiral of moral ambiguity.

/

Act 2 -

Ep 4 - 

In the opening montage we see Caitlyn’s martial law in effect. Under her visage, the enforcers and Noxians flood the Undercity, hunting Jinx, and arresting those they see as a threat. We can all agree here that Caitlyn’s morals have tumbled; she allows a (necessary - Cait’s opinion, not mine) increased amount of violence in order to maintain control, and this is obviously met with resistance from the Zaunties. It’s the cycle of violence churning, and Caitlyn, under Ambessa’s guidance allows it to happen fuelled by her hyper-fixation on capturing Jinx.

I’d like to point out that the use of the Jinx wanted posters throughout this episode is huge. For Caitlyn and Piltover, Jinx is justification for what they’re doing. And for Zaun, Jinx becomes the one thing they can all start to unite behind despite their differences; in the most ironic turn around, Jinx becomes a symbol of hope and rebellion for Zaun against their oppressors.

Despite Caitlyn being in command of the martial law taking place, I think the scene with Maddie highlights that she hasn’t disowned her morals entirely, they haven’t changed, they’ve just become clouded by her grief and Ambessa’s manipulating encouragement. We get a hint of this as it appears that Caitlyn isn’t sleeping well, the tensions between the two cities clearly playing heavily on her mind. We see further hints of this when Caitlyn confesses to Maddie that she didn’t think the invasion would go on so long. 

‘I never expected this to go on so long. I thought… I don’t know what I thought. Just… it wasn’t this.’- this shows that Caitlyn didn’t know what exactly she was taking on when she took command. How could she? Before any of this happened she was an enforcer with restricted responsibility thanks to the protection of her mother, and now she’s not only in charge of her house and its legacy, but she’s taken control of Piltover’s safety. It’s a big burden to bear and it’s clear the direction she’s taken has left her uncertain about her choices. 

Maddie in return seems to act as both the angel and devil on Cait’s shoulders, in one breath she’s endorsing the Noxian’s increasing violence by reassuring Cait that it’s for Piltover’s safety, and the next she’s telling Caitlyn she could withdraw from the Undercity. Without Vi there now to ground Caitlyn in the harsh realities of her choices, Maddie’s angel/devil act further serves as part of Ambessa’s manipulation, isolating Caitlyn in Ambessa’s ideals alone, and keeps Caitlyn spiraling even when her morals begin to creep back in and make her conviction wobble slightly. 

When Maddie teasingly calls Caitlyn ‘Ambessa’ it snaps Caitlyn out of her disillusionment, and keeps her focused on her unfulfilled goal of getting Jinx, citing that Ambessa’s methods do work. She’s delivering what she promised Piltover and Caitlyn she would deliver, and all Caitlyn has to do is stay on the path Ambessa has set out before her.

Maddie also uses this opportunity to try and make Caitlyn feel in control. While Caitlyn’s doubts about the marital law materialise, Maddie forces Caitlyn to look at herself in the mirror and reminds her that Caitlyn is the leader they follow. It catapults Caitlyn back to the weight of responsibility she feels in the wake of losing her mother. Piltover chose her because she’s a Kiramman and Caitlyn cannot let them down, she has a hole to fill. This pushes her to ignore any niggling doubts and press forward with her efforts to secure Jinx.

Another scene where we can see that Caitlyn isn’t completely lost in her darkness is during her exchange with Ambessa. Ambessa rightfully notes that Jinx’s return will further ignite Zaun’s resistance to the martial law, but that it also finally gives them a lead on Jinx. When Caitlyn doesn’t seem elated at the news, Ambessa questions why Caitlyn isn’t more encouraged.

It’s here that Caitlyn’s core morals and doubts of Ambessa begin to shine through again. Caitlyn questions why Ambessa has urged the Noxians to become more violent, and Ambessa is clear in her response; someone in Zaun knows where Jinx is and she will use whatever force is necessary to get the answer.

Caitlyn is relentless though, and her core morals once again challenge Ambessa’s approach - ‘arrests require cause’ - showing that Caitlyn is still trying to stay within a somewhat structured justice system. She might be ruthless and unyielding in her quest for Jinx but she’s not trying to be unnecessarily cruel. 

Ambessa is always one step ahead though and we see her try to pacify Caitlyn’s doubts by reminding her of her duty to Piltover - ‘what greater cause is there than returning peace to this city?’

But Caitlyn isn’t entirely pacified by Ambessa’s remarks and we see her challenge her back with an important question; ‘why is peace always the justification for violence?’ 

This is a question not only for Ambessa and Caitlyn but also the audience. It asks the audience to think about this statement in regards to the whole show; to every character. How far is too far? When do you stop yourself from becoming something other than yourself in the name of protecting/saving those you love?

Ambessa responds by saying she understands how tiring vengeance can be, but she knows Caitlyn won’t be able to rest while she knows Jinx is out there. I believe this is one of the only honest moments Ambessa gives us. We know she too cannot rest while the Black Rose is out there threatening her family, it’s what drives her to achieve power and will keep driving her no matter the cost. But despite this brief moment of honesty, as per her character, Ambessa seizes the moment to manipulate Caitlyn again by questioning her conviction - ‘maybe I underestimated you. Maybe you have the strength I do not. To forgive and trust in tomorrow.’ 

By leaving the choice in Caitlyn’s hands Ambessa triggers Caitlyn to remember what her inaction caused her before; her mother’s death. It’s why we next see a guilt ridden Caitlyn at her mother’s statue and why, I believe, Cait can’t escape the darkness still clutching at her ankles yet. Having fallen victim to Ambessa manipulation once again we see her allowing the Noxian soldiers to carry out more violence and mass arresting of the Zaunties.

Last thought for episode 4 - Caitlyn’s face overlapping with Jinx’s wanted poster shows the monsters they’ve both become as a result of their traumas. Jinx is a product of her abandonment that festered (under Silco) into a chaotic resentment and anger towards Vi that fundamentally changed who she was/is. The same can be said for Caitlyn in Act 1-2. As a result of Jinx killing her mother, Caitlyn becomes a product of her trauma; her grief and guilt twist her empathy and understanding into that of unbridled anger (fuelled by Ambessa). Now Cait is left desperately seeking justice to soothe her wounds, and it causes her to commit horrible acts in her quest.

Even when Caitlyn does make attempts to remind herself of her true morals, she’s met with Jinx’s taunts, Vi’s betrayal (in her eyes) and Ambessa’s manipulation, just as Jinx always had Silco whispering in her ear.

It’s a cycle of anger and self destruction that Caitlyn and Jinx cannot break… not yet anyway.

/

Ep 5 - 

We begin this episode with Caitlyn arriving at Stillwater in the wake of Warwick’s attack. She has to pass through the blood and bodies of her comrades and see first hand the destruction that’s taken place. While she and Ambessa question Singed over the attack, we see just how fractured Caitlyn’s mind is becoming the longer Jinx evades her. It seems here, that Caitlyn thought her dismantling of shimmer earlier on would slow/stop Zaun from producing chemically advanced weapons created from experiments. But the Warwick attack proves her wrong. Singed has created something far worse, and Caitlyn’s immediate response is to discover how it’s connected to Jinx. 

It’s quite an ironic scene because Singed is almost mocking Caitlyn for being so single-minded. Zaun is more than just Jinx - something Caitlyn used to be able to comprehend before her grief - and he can see that Caitlyn is blinded to that, blaming her impatience and youth. 

We also get to see here how Caitlyn has made use of Stillwater for those that she’s arrested during the period of martial law - ‘there are cells buried deep within this prison so devoid of light and fresh air and all basic human considerations that up till now, I have forbidden their use.’

Has Caitlyn wrongly arrested Zaunties? I have no doubt that she has. But has she tried not to go so far into the darkness that she forgets all her morals and becomes a complete monster? I think so. She remembers the torment and suffering Vi suffered in Stillwater (even when they’re apart Vi is the grounding force that tries to creep in and pull Caitlyn back from the worst of herself). I don’t think Caitlyn is cruel by nature. She does have a good heart. It's just buried so deep beneath her guilt and grief that she’s committed acts she never thought she would, and she can’t seem to stop committing them while she feels Jinx is still a threat to Piltover. 

The last we see of Caitlyn in that scene she threatens Signed with spending the rest of his days in Stillwater. A promise she will keep if he doesn’t cooperate to help them destroy the beast.

When we next see Singed however, he’s with Ambessa. Ambessa who has quickly and strategically concluded that if Hextech is unreachable due to Jayce’s absence, the beast that Signed has created is the next best weapon she could have in her arsenal. Warwick might in fact be more powerful. Here Ambessa cuts a deal with Singed; his loyalty and the beast for her cause, in exchange for his freedom and allowance to keep experimenting. It’s clearly not something Ambessa informs Caitlyn of, who I’m assuming she keeps in the dark. Ambessa allows Caitlyn to keep believing that Singed is only being freed so that they can find the beast and destroy it before it attacks Piltover. 

We get to see in this episode that the doubts we see Caitlyn beginning to have about Ambessa and the disillusionment we see Caitlyn facing about her role in the invasion of Zaun continue to gnaw at her, especially after Singed’s poignant remark that ‘no one in power is innocent.’  I think this is a statement that makes Caitlyn pause and look at herself. If Signed isn’t innocent for his creation, is she innocent for the violence she’s allowed?

When we next see Ambessa, Signed and Caitlyn share a scene together, it’s with Signed conducting an experiment that will hopefully allow them to locate the beast.

Caitlyn, who looks less than thrilled with the arrangement of his freedom, makes it known that she understood Signed’s barbed statement last time, and as a result she’s used her position as a Kiramman to look into him to discover how deep his crimes go. It also highlights that she distrusts the reasoning Ambessa has given her for Signed’s release. We know after all that during the previous episode Ambessa made it clear she couldn’t forgive and forget. That she would always fight and do whatever was necessary to win with no regrets.

What Caitlyn has discovered is that the Piltover academy once had a revered alchemist who was banished as a result of his work. The results of which were never recorded. We know from S1 that Jayce’s creation of Hextech was considered so dangerous that it almost got him banished until he stabilised it. But what does the Undercity have that’s equally as dangerous as Hextech and yet entirely unstable and uncontrollable; shimmer. 

Caitlyn’s headstrong intellect makes a delightful return here when we see her work out that Singed was the banished alchemist Dr Reveck. She recoils in disgust at his creation of shimmer, which has always been a threat, not only to Piltover, but to Zaun. The damage of which Caitlyn saw firsthand in season 1 when she was in Zaun with Vi.

She calls Signed a monster and demands to know why he created shimmer and why he continues to experiment so dangerously that he creates these violent abominations.

For Singed the answer is easy - ‘Why does anyone commit acts others deem unspeakable? For love.’

At the sight of Signed’s daughter, kept alive by these unthinkable, grotesque experiments, Caitlyn is then forced to face an ugly truth, something which she and Singed both share. They have both committed horrible deeds to alleviate the harrowing pain of loss that only comes from losing someone you love. 

It holds a mirror up to Caitlyn and her actions in such a raw way that I don’t think any other moment has done yet. Is this the wake up call Caitlyn needs to finally break the chains of Ambessa’s manipulation and away from the darkness pulling her further and further away from her true self?

I guess we’ll see.

——

Ep 6 -

While the previous episode gives us our first proper glimmer of hope that Caitlyn is slowly waking up from her darkness and may start breaking away from Ambessa soon, this episode gives us the culmination of events that actually drive Cait to that very point of disentangling herself from Ambessa’s web of manipulation. 

But let’s rewind a second to see how exactly Caitlyn gets there.

Episode 6 starts off with a very clever and insightful fight sequence. Here we see Ambessa sparring with Caitlyn and training her in the Noxian ways. 

Here are the key principles Ambessa teaches Caitlyn:

‘Noxus prizes strength above all else, defining it by three core principles. Vision. The top of the triangle, charting a course and having the wisdom to navigate it. This form is your base, child. Your eyes see what others don't. Might. Bending your environment to your will. Your speed is improving. But eventually you need force.’

‘Too much force exposes you to risk.’

‘Indeed. The last is guile. Phantoms. Tricksters. Mages. Absent honour. Absent accountability. Remember this, Caitlyn. Tunnels in your eyes. Lava in your veins. Shadows in your heart. This is the truth of combat.’

But oh no, that’s not all.  Ambessa enlightens Caitlyn to her final, most important lesson:

‘I’ve discovered a fourth principle. One that heightens all others. Sacrifice. The temper born of suffering. We understand it as others cannot. We are kin.’

Now, this may just seem like Ambessa being Ambessa but it provides Caitlyn with two things:

 1) her combat skill set has definitely approved under Ambessa and continues to do so 

 2) Caitlyn has the inner-knowledge of how Ambessa’s mind works. 

This becomes vital later on in the remaining episodes. 

Some people might be confused by Caitlyn’s participation here given that she was starting to doubt Ambessa in the previous episode. However, the beast is still at large and a threat to both Piltover and Zaun. Caitlyn needs to aid Ambessa in putting him down.

Singed leads Ambessa, Caitlyn and the Noxian army through Zaun to the commune Viktor has established. Here is where Signed has tracked his beast. While Ambessa seems hell bent on attacking the commune without a second thought in order to capture the beast, we see Caitlyn looking unsure. Her suspicions that Ambessa is up to something heighten when she allows Singed to enter the commune to talk to Viktor.

Up until this point Caitlyn believes their goal is to eliminate the beast since it’s such a threat to Piltover and Zaun, but when she witnesses Ambessa and Signed plotting together, I believe she starts questioning their true intent regarding the beast.

The next time we see Caitlyn she appears to be creeping around the outskirts of her and Ambessa’s makeshift camp. Why would she be doing that if she wasn’t doubting Ambessa and Singed? Caitlyn isn’t stupid, she knows Ambessa is highly driven by power, but power at the expense of a peaceful commune? I’m not sure even Caitlyn is willing to cross that line. Her morals have gotten lost but they haven’t gone completely. Caitlyn has always tried to hold onto them. We see that here again. These morals come rushing back when Caitlyn’s natural detective skills lead her to piece together that Ambessa and Signed are planning a way to capture the beast, not destroy it. 

This to me is Caitlyn’s turning point, as she realises that Ambessa and Signed with the beast at their disposal will be a much bigger threat to Piltover and Zaun than Jinx ever could have been. 

Caitlyn has already reached this conclusion before she spots someone creeping about and puts their ass on the ground. Before she realises it’s Vi creeping around. 

The fact that it is Vi following Singed, and the fact that Vi is at the commune at all gives Caitlyn even greater reason to question Ambessa. These two may not have spoken in months but they see each other. They always have. 

When Caitlyn says ‘you can’t be here’ it’s not because she doesn’t want to see Vi, or because she’s dismissing her, but because she knows Ambessa is dangerous. Because despite everything that’s happened Caitlyn wants to protect Vi. Plus, Caitlyn knows that Vi being there is a weakness for her, she won’t be able to do what she needs to do to stop Ambessa if she’s worrying about Vi in the crossfire.

It’s Vi, however, questioning Caitlyn in return that falters Caitlyn’s cold focus. Why is Caitlyn there on the job? And is she still acting like an unhinged mongoose? 

Caitlyn mimics the insult of ‘mongoose’ but I think it’s the word ‘unhinged’ that cracks her steely veneer. Her grief and guilt did make her unhinged. The last time they were together she hit Vi in the stomach with her rifle in the wake of what she perceived as Vi’s betrayal of her. In the months since I’m sure that act has haunted Caitlyn. Vi disappeared from her life without another word and it’s because of Caitlyn’s actions. 

(Was Maddie the perfect distraction to the heartbreak she caused herself? I think so. Maddie allowed Caitlyn not to think about Vi, and Caitlyn needed that in order to reassure herself that her actions were necessary and justified. A perfect example of ‘the worst lies are the ones we tell ourselves’).

Without Vi around, Caitlyn was able to really access those darker parts of herself, and while Caitlyn felt like she needed to do that in order to keep herself focused on Jinx, we can see the cost of it. We see it in Caitlyn’s uncertainty in her actions, in her doubts of Ambessa, in the threat of the beast, and in Vi’s appearance. 

When Vi pushes Caitlyn off her in response, Caitlyn moves back limply, a little bit of the fight knocked out of her. Did Vi’s insult hold a mirror up to Caitlyn? I think so. It’s an uncomfortable pill to swallow, and we see that manifest in the way Caitlyn shifts her focus onto Vi’s hair.  

‘Your hair. You look like an angry oil slick.’

‘Don’t sugarcoat it, cupcake.’

Vi doesn’t trade insults with Caitlyn. She doesn’t berate her further than getting Caitlyn to back off so she can sit up. Instead she takes Caitlyn’s comment and gives Caitlyn warmth in return. The use of the ‘cupcake’ nickname is familiar, affectionate. In that single moment it breaks the tension between them. Is there anger between them? Yes. Unresolved issues? Yes. But there’s also an innate trust. So when Vi asks what Caitlyn is doing at the commune, Caitlyn tells the truth. And when Caitlyn asks Vi why she’s there in return, Vi tells the truth.

‘We tracked some sort of new chemweapon down here. A bloodthirsty, murderous, beast. What are you doing here?’

‘Trying to save… my dad.’

We don’t see Vi reveal to Caitlyn the true extent of what happened to Vander, and Vi purposely omits Jinx’s involvement, but what she tells Caitlyn is enough for Caitlyn to make her decision to betray Ambessa. 

We’ve seen time and time again that Vi fights because she’s always had to, but Caitlyn fights because she wants to. It’s what made Vi trust Caitlyn in the first place. And although she knows Caitlyn still hates/resents Jinx, she trusts Caitlyn enough in that moment to fight for what’s right like she always has before. Vi completely kills Caitlyn’s idea that Warwick is just a beast. The second Vi confides in her that this beast is actually Vander, her dad, Caitlyn starts seeing him as human. And not just any human; a human hugely important to Vi. Those doubts Caitlyn had about Ambessa and Singed? They’re cemented here. She trusts Vi and believes Vi, and that headstrong Caitlyn from S1 who wants to do the right thing and protect the people she loves? She shows up for Vi now.

Grayson once asked Caitlyn what she was shooting for, and we see the answer here clearly; Caitlyn will shoot to protect those she loves. Vi needs her help and her protection and Caitlyn is going to do just that because despite everything that's happened to them and between them, Caitlyn loves Vi. It’s that simple.

They’ve always worked better together, and we see that here. Their balance slowly returns as they plot to infiltrate Ambessa’s camp with Vi as Caitlyn’s prisoner. It creates a perfect distraction and takes Ambessa out of play, while Caitlyn stops Singed and saves Vander. If anybody could bring Caitlyn back out of her darkness and ground her, redirect her focus, and free her from Ambessa’s manipulation, it’s Vi.

The following scene between Ambessa, Vi and Caitlyn is amazing at showing just how much trust and understanding is still between Cait and Vi despite their bond not being fully healed. Caitlyn’s (fake) delivery of Vi into Ambessa’s hands cements Caitlyn as a worthy ally in Ambessa’s eyes. Remember, Ambessa sent a young Mel away because she considered Mel her weakness, and here we see Caitlyn handing over Vi, someone who Ambessa knows has Caitlyn’s heart (is her weakness). It’s such a powerplay from Caitlyn; she takes what she knows about how Ambessa’s mind works and uses that to her advantage to stage her betrayal.

Ambessa’s biggest mistake in this scene is her arrogance. She doesn’t consider for a second that Caitlyn will betray her. While she understands that Vi must be disposed of before she becomes a distraction for Caitlyn and ruins all of Ambessa’s manipulations, she fails to comprehend just how easily Vi could have gotten through to Caitlyn. 

In fact, Ambessa even gloats about how Vi’s absence provided a vacuum she was able to fill in Caitlyn; with manipulation, with Maddie, with fuelled hatred. Without Vi to ground her, Caitlyn, in Ambessa’s eyes, was easily shaped into her cold, ruthless commander. She can’t have Vi ruining that now. It’s why she knows she has to kill her if she wants to keep Caitlyn as her puppet.

The problem with Ambessa putting all of her money on Caitlyn’s hate for Jinx being stronger than any of her past feelings for Vi, is that Ambessa completely fails to recognise that Vi has already saved Caitlyn. All it took was for their eyes to lock again and Vi shattered the hard shell Ambessa worked hard to build around Caitlyn.

Don’t get me wrong, Caitlyn was starting to save herself (unbeknown to Ambessa, thanks to her ego) but Vi showed up at the right time, in the right place and offered Caitlyn a hand. A hand that Caitlyn took without a second of doubt.

Ambessa overlooks the importance of Vi’s duality to Caitlyn, that’s she’s Caitlyn’s biggest weakness but she’s also her biggest strength, until it’s too late. Caitlyn is already distracted, she’s already made her choice; it’s Vi.

I think this shows major growth for Caitlyn, because even though she doesn’t know about Jinx’s involvement at this stage, she still chooses Vi over Ambessa. She chooses Vi over her mission. She chooses Vi over her grief. It doesn’t take back her mistakes but it sets Caitlyn back on the right path, the path where she will protect people, especially those she loves.

Caitlyn follows Vi’s plan to subdue Signed and attempts to help Vander but Rictus stops her. It seems that while Ambessa trusted Caitlyn, Rictus wasn’t convinced. Just as it looks like he will kill Caitlyn, Jinx fires a shot and saves her.

Does Jinx do it because she cares about Caitlyn? No. Jinx saves Caitlyn to save Vander. Does Jinx know deep down that killing Caitlyn would affect the bridges she’s building with Vi? I absolutely think so.

As Vander saves Jinx from Rictus we see Vi rush in and embrace her family. Caitlyn, while betrayed by Jinx’s unexpected involvement, and who is still knocked down on the floor, briefly locks eyes with Vi only to witness Vi smiling and happy with her family. 

This is the first time Caitlyn gets to see Vi freely happy with the people she loves. All she’s ever witnessed from Vi before is pain. Pain at losing her parents, pain at losing Vander, pain at being locked away for years, pain for leaving Powder and having to accept Jinx. Pain from Caitlyn. And Jinx is right there too, looking happy and holding Vander and Vi in return. Has Vi forgiven Jinx? Can Vi forgive her? Can Caitlyn forgive any of it? 

It’s a lot for Caitlyn to process and she doesn’t really get a chance to before Jayce hammers Viktor to death and sends the place into chaos. 

Instead we see Caitlyn following behind Vi and Jinx as they run outside to see what’s going on. Warwick is back to being bloodthirsty now that Viktor is dead, and Ambessa has arrived with the Noxian army seeking revenge. Her eyes piercing Caitlyn glaringly for her betrayal before she attacks.

It’s important to note that not once during the fight sequence with Vander and the Noxians do we see Caitlyn try and take a shot at Jinx. She easily could have, at multiple points, but she doesn’t. 

Why?

Because when she freed Vi from Stillwater in S1 she decided to trust her. She trusted her because beneath Vi’s tough exterior Caitlyn could see her pain. Since that moment all Caitlyn has wanted to do is soothe Vi’s wounded heart. It’s why she didn’t shoot Jinx in the season 1 finale, it’s why she lets Vi stop her shooting Jinx in Ep3, and it’s why she doesn’t try to shoot Jinx now.

Caitlyn has been devastated by the loss of her mother at Jinx’s hands. It’s a pain she will never fully heal from, and in these moments Caitlyn has to decide if she wants to be responsible for adding to Vi’s pain. Can she kill Vi’s sister? Can she cause more suffering to the woman she loves? More than she already has? The answer is a resounding no. 

Because despite everything, Caitlyn is a good person with a good heart. She was just swept away and lost in her grief. But now she’s anchored again thanks to Vi. She may never forgive Jinx, she may always hate her for what she did but she will always love Vi more.

We see Caitlyn protecting Vi during the fight, and we even see her letting Vi go in order to save Jinx when she gallantly rushes in to try and save Isha.

By the end of Act 2 we stop seeing Commander Caitlyn Kiramman here and simply see Cait again. She’s definitely more bruised and hardened by her trauma and experiences but she’s there, fighting her way back to the surface.

This takes us into Act 3 and Caitlyn’s reconciliation with her true self and her steps towards atonement. 

/

Act 3:

Ep 8 -

This episode starts with an unconscious Vi awakening after her near death experience in ep6. Loris is there when she wakes and he tries to calm her down by answering her burning questions about the locations of Jinx and Cait.

Let’s just take a second to note that Vi isn’t just anywhere in Piltover, oh no, she’s tucked safely in Caitlyn’s bed in the Kiramman house. And Loris openly tells her that Caitlyn rounded up a squad of doctors to patch her back together. There’s a bunch of pillows piled on the side next to Vi - did Caitlyn watch over her while she healed? The show doesn’t explicitly state it, but Loris implies that Caitlyn wanted to be there when Vi woke, suggesting that Caitlyn hasn’t left her side often, and the reason for her absence must be important.

We get to see why Caitlyn isn’t at Vi’s side when she wakes just seconds later. Caitlyn is with Maddie, contemplating Ambessa’s inevitable attack on Piltover. She knows it’s coming, especially now that Ambessa knows of her betrayal. Considering Caitlyn has been the commander of the invasion into Zaun for months at this point, here we see her approach to be a little more cautious. No longer is she so warped by Ambessa’s reckless ways, or her hate fuelled mission for revenge against Jinx, now Caitlyn is trying to find her feet as commander in her own way; listening to her own morals and trying to make the right choices. Caitlyn knows there won’t be any negotiations with Ambessa thanks to her betrayal, and so careful, clever strategy is what she’s going to need to come up with, and fast, if she’s to save Piltover.

Maddie tries to offer comfort but Caitlyn straight up rejects her. Why? Because there was never any true affection between them. Maddie was just a distraction, a warm body to keep Caitlyn’s focus away from Vi and stuck in the darkness she was drowning in. But now that Vi's back in her orbit, Caitlyn is even less interested in Maddie, and the second Vi storms in demanding answers about Jinx, Caitlyn dismisses Maddie without a second thought.

Here we see some of the tension between Caitlyn and Vi boil to the surface. Their reunion in the previous episode was quick, it was based on innate trust and convenience, but there was no time for a proper resolution to the issues between them. Vi demands answers for why Jinx is locked away, accusing Caitlyn of still being on her blinding revenge quest against Jinx. When Caitlyn’s initial attempt to calm Vi falls on deaf ears, she retorts with anger at Vi’s lack of trust in her to do the right thing.

‘Arrested?’

‘Vi…’

‘She saved your life.’

‘If you will just calm down for one—’

‘Even knowing you’d never have done the same for her.’

‘We’ll never know, will we? You didn’t let me in on that part of your plan.’

‘Clearly the right call, since you can’t trust her enough not to shove her in a box.’

‘Trust? You believe I’m so daft I can’t recognise a contingency? She wasn’t there for my benefit. You didn’t trust me to follow through.’

‘Can you blame me? How long were you sidled up with that shifty, self-serving war pig? She oinked poison in your ear, and you just ate it!’

I think Vi’s defence here is fair, given that Vi not only witnessed Caitlyn’s hatred for Jinx morph into an obsession, but that she also got a taste of Caitlyn’s spiral into darkness herself when Caitlyn was cruel to her in ep3. She was in Zaun the entire time Caitlyn was enforcing Ambessa’s martial law too. Vi has seen the violence and the damage done at Caitlyn’s hands with her own eyes. So it’s not a surprise that Vi didn’t trust her fully when they reunited in ep6. Caitlyn has been under Ambessa’s thumb for far too long for Vi to assess just how much lasting damage has been done to Caitlyn in ep6. 

When Vi confronts Caitlyn with this harsh reality, Caitlyn cracks in shame and anger - ‘I know!’

Caitlyn can see what she’s done, what she’s become, and she takes accountability for it with this simple acknowledgement. She’s not a words girl, we know she’s more emotionally repressed when it comes to expressing herself that way, but as she sinks back onto the arm of the couch we can physically see her deflation. Caitlyn is very much aware of her mistakes. She knows she’s had her grief manipulated and that to an extent, because of her hatred of Jinx, she let it happen. It has cost Caitlyn greatly, and we see how fragile her relationship with Vi is now as a result.

But the best thing about this much needed heated exchange is that Caitlyn gets to show Vi that she’s not completely lost to her, that she has managed to start pulling herself out of her darkness. 

‘The only thing Jinx cared about was getting you to safety. Then she just surrendered. I didn’t even have time to think before they hailed her off. She’s being held in the bunker while I decide what to do. I was waiting for you to recover.’

Why did Caitlyn wait? 

Well she unfairly pushed the enforcer badge on to Vi back in episode 1 because she selfishly needed reassurance and loyalty during her spiraling grief. She forced Vi to choose between her and Jinx when deep down Cait knew that would be an impossible thing for Vi to do. 

Caitlyn waiting for Vi to recover before any decision is made about what happens to Jinx proves that Cait wants to atone. It shows Vi where she’s at, and Vi recognises the gesture immediately. There’s her Cait. It’s not commander Kiramman sitting before her, but the woman she was falling for back before Jinx’s attack at the end of season 1.

It gives Vi all she needs to fight for her family; for Jinx and for Cait.

‘Cait, she’s changed.’ 

Vi wants Cait to understand what she’s been going through, what she’s witnessed in regards to Jinx and Isha and the bridges they were beginning to build. But even though Cait hears this - Jinx saved her when she easily could have let Rictus kill her - she can’t quite accept it. Not because she doesn’t necessarily believe Vi but because how can anybody accept the unspeakable violence and acts that Jinx has done? That Caitlyn has done? In Caitlyn’s mind they’re inescapable and unforgivable.

‘We can’t erase our mistakes. None of us.’

But Vi is the voice of reason and immediately challenges her response with this soul searching question - ‘who decides who gets a second chance?’

The conflicting expressions that flicker across Caitlyn’s face as Vi leaves her at the end of this scene shows how carefully and heavily this question sits in Cait’s chest. 

Who does get to decide who deserves a second chance? Is it the responsibility of someone else to decide if you’re worthy? Or is it up to you to free yourself from the burdens of your mistakes?

It’s a set of questions that Caitlyn takes with her when she visits Jinx in her cell. 

We start by seeing Caitlyn taking Jinx a tray of food, a sign of her good heart and the extension of a tentative olive branch before they get into having their first ever, real conversation.

‘Vi thinks that you’ve changed.’

‘She can’t accept what you and I know. There are no happy endings.’

Jinx’s response to Caitlyn’s statement immediately brings us back to Vi’s question for Caitlyn - ‘who decides who gets a second chance?’

Jinx is just as closed off to the idea as Caitlyn (‘We can’t erase our mistakes. None of us.’) and that immediately triggers Caitlyn. Because if they’re right, if they don’t deserve second chances, what’s left of them both?

Caitlyn wants accountability; from Jinx, from herself, and so she presses further:

‘Is that all you have to say for yourself? There won’t be a trial. I’m giving you this one chance to account for your actions, all the pain you’ve caused.’

But Jinx continues to look defeated and doesn’t react, showing a shell of the person Caitlyn knew her to be - the Jinx that Caitlyn despised. Caitlyn grows frustrated and bangs her fist into the cell bars.

‘No amount of good deeds can undo our crimes.’

Here Caitlyn takes accountability by saying ‘our crimes’, she knows they’ve both caused pain, but even that doesn’t get a reaction. Jinx is empty; empty of anger, of hate, of taunts. All the time she’s spent being vengeful hasn’t made her feel better, or changed anything that’s happened, it’s just left her utterly exhausted. There’s no fight left in her and she admits as much to Caitlyn:

‘Do what you came here to do.’

Caitlyn’s lingering anger disappears instantly as she recognises Jinx’s predicament as her own. The cost of their hatred, of their vengeance hasn’t been worth it. It’s cost them both exponentially. They’re both shells of who they were, who they should be.

‘Hating you… I’ve hated myself. I just don’t have the energy for it any longer.’

Caitlyn starts to walk away but before she gets far Jinx gives her the accountability that Caitlyn needs to hear from Jinx in order to free herself of her self hatred:

‘I didn’t know your mom was there. It probably wouldn’t have made a difference, but… I didn’t know.’

It’s not a sorry. These two will never say sorry to each other. They will never like each other. But this is the moment Caitlyn lets go of her hatred, of her need for justice. Jinx’s confession releases Caitlyn from the burden of her guilt over her mother’s death and breaks their cycle of violence.

In return, we see Caitlyn answer Vi’s question. She doesn’t say sorry, or beg for forgiveness, she acts. She orders all the guards to the Hexgates, leaving Jinx unguarded, and in doing so grants Jinx her second chance. She does it not only for herself and for Jinx, but for Vi. 

Caitlyn knows Vi will free Jinx because Vi loves unconditionally. She fights for those she loves and she can’t give up on Jinx because they’re family and Vi feels responsible for her. It’s the essence of who Vi is.

It’s something Caitlyn has come to understand from her grief because she too couldn’t let go; of her mother, of her guilt, of her hatred. It’s because of love that she became the commander and made the mistakes she did, and it’s because of love that Vi will do what she needs to save her sister. But most importantly it's because of love that Caitlyn is willing to let Vi save Jinx, even if that means letting Vi go. Cait’s giving Vi the freedom to make her own choice despite knowing it could cost her what she wants. And what Caitlyn wants more than anything is Vi. 

Caitlyn’s atonement for her sins begins in that one beautiful, selfless act of letting go.

When we next see Caitlyn she is freeing Vi from the cell that Jinx locked her in. Vi is punishing herself for what she thinks is her having made the wrong choice again. She really thought Jinx would help, but she didn’t, she left Vi, and now Vi’s worried that by betraying Cait to free Jinx, she’s lost Caitlyn too. 

‘Did you really think I needed all the guards at the Hexgates? Sorry to say, you’ve grown a bit predictable.’

We already know that Cait set Jinx’s escape up for Vi. That she prioritized her love for Vi over her hatred for Jinx, and in the one confession, Vi now knows it too. Caitlyn acted for her. Caitlyn sees Vi and accepts her fully.

We’ve already established that Caitlyn knew Vi would try to save her sister, but what we didn’t know for certain, and what Caitlyn most definitely didn’t know for certain, is would Vi still be there and would Vi still want her?

Here we get Vi’s answer when Vi finally takes what she wants and kisses Cait. 

Caitlyn can’t quite believe it, but when Vi just keeps on kissing her, it clicks for Cait that Vi does want her just as much as she wants Vi.

I adore the use of lighting in this scene, and I’ve seen a few wonderful posts analysing this in detail, so I won’t overstep. But i just wanted to note how clever it is to see Vi pull Cait out of darkness and back into the light. And while we’re talking about the light I will quickly add on a bit about Maddie. Vi couldn’t give two fucks about her. She didn’t when she met her, she didn’t when she saw her in Cait’s house, and she doesn’t give a fuck if she was in Cait’s bed. Vi knows Cait lost herself, and Maddie was simply something for Cait to lose herself in, as much as fighting and alcohol was for Vi. All that matters is now, and what matters now is her and Cait.

I could talk about their sex scene beat by beat but I think the fandom has analysed it to death beautifully already. What I will say is we see the culmination of both their arcs here. Vi, at Jinx’s behest, finally lets herself be happy and what makes her happy is Caitlyn. And Caitlyn uses every touch to apologise, to show her love and regret to Vi. She gives up the control that has kept her blindly focused on her revenge and hatred. Cait gives herself over completely to Vi’s love and redeems her soul by doing so. It’s beautiful to see Vi finally take what she wants.

The culmination of this episode is heartwarming. We see Cait giving Jinx a second chance, Jinx then in turn gives Vi a second chance by setting her free from the burden of their tormented past, and Vi returns that grace by granting Cait a second chance from her mistakes. 

The three of them break the cycle together.

—-

Ep 9 -

A lot happens in this final episode but I’m strictly going to try and focus on Caitlyn and Vi before this analysis grows any longer.

Piltover is preparing for Ambessa’s and Viktor’s attack. We see Caitlyn and Vi in the council bunker with Jayce and Mel. Here Jayce tells Caitlyn, Vi and Mel that he needs them to take the enforcers and buy him as much time against Ambessa’s forces while he shuts down the Hexgates.

When Jayce says this is a fight they’re supposed to lose, Vi’s fist visibly clenches. She doesn’t like losing fights, and definitely doesn’t want to lose this one now that she’s finally letting herself be happy, but you can tell Vi is tired. She’s been fucking through it emotionally and physically these past 2 seasons and Cait catches her anxiety instantly. It’s only a fleeting moment, but we see Cait cover Vi’s hand and squeeze in support and encouragement. Vi doesn’t have to fight alone anymore. They can fight together.

Here we see Caitlyn embodying her role as the commander she was always meant to be when she says they can stop Viktor, and determidly shoves his little model down. I love seeing her so strong and resolved here. She’s got far too much to fight for and to put right to admit defeat so easily.

While Vi is off with her batch of enforcers leading a charge from one of the towers, Caitlyn is down in the front line with her own squad fighting back the Noxian forces who have Ambessa leading the charge. 

We see Caitlyn with her trusty rifle and Maddie as her spotter fighting hard, but can only watch in horror as a shimmer fuelled army seems to be relentlessly coming for them. Commander Caitlyn kicks in and keeps her team going even when it seems like they might be losing. She fights with everything she has to put their plan into action, knowing that she has mistakes to atone for.

But something goes wrong and before she knows what’s happening, Caitlyn takes a massive hit to the back of the head. It winds her and leaves her struggling to get up, and when she does it’s to see that her enforcers have been captured by the Noxian troops, and Ambessa is marching straight towards her.

When she glances back to see who has a rifle aimed at the back of her head, Caitlyn comes face to face with Maddie. It’s here that we get the reveal that Maddie is a Noxian spy and has been working for Ambessa the entire time. It’s another mistake for Caitlyn, a failing of her judgment, once again made during her grief and manipulated by Ambessa perfectly.

‘I warned you of the hazards of professional entanglement.’

Ambessa’s gloating is a horrible reminder of how fair Caitlyn let herself fall beneath Ambessa’s influence, and I think it’s this self awareness, this shame, that causes Caitlyn to take her chance. She never really had any true feelings for Maddie, Caitlyn was using her for distraction just as Maddie was using her for information, and now she has an opportunity to atone for her sins by ending this war if she can just get the shot on Ambessa.

Caitlyn smashes the rifle back into Maddie’s face as she grabs it from her and takes her aim at Ambessa. But of course Ambessa anticipates Caitlyn’s reckless attempt, she goaded her into it after all, and Caitlyn once again pays the price for her mistakes when Ambessa thwarts her attack and stab’s Caitlyn in the stomach instead.

When Caitlyn falls to her knees before Ambessa and her mocking ‘desperation is the doorway to oblivion, child’ you can see the sorrow on Cait’s face. In her eyes she has failed. She’s failed Piltover, she’s failed herself, and she’s failed Vi. Filled with regret, I imagine Cait’s life flashes before her eyes as Maddie loads the gun and takes the shot.

There’s the sound of the gun firing, a cracking of gold, and then the wet sound of blood. Maddie’s body slops weightless down against her back before slumping to the ground and Caitlyn is left with the stark realisation that she isn’t dead. Her second chance is truly a second chance.

Enter Mel, in all her glorious magical power. While she faces off with her mother, Jinx joins the battle in her outlandish way, and the symbolism of second choices being worth having comes full circle as the chaos of her arrival grants Piltover and Zaun another chance to fight back.

The enforcers break free during the chaos and continue to fight, and Viktor’s hive mind army starts rushing the Hexgate while Mel and Caitlyn face off with Ambessa. 

This fight shows off Caitlyn’s redemption arc beautifully. With renewed strength Caitlyn is back on her feet and circling Ambessa as she exchanges heated words with Mel.

Fuck words though, Caitlyn is a woman made of action, and with determination thrumming through her veins, she punches Ambessa in the face, cutting off her self-serving tirade.

‘Shut up and fight.’

Caitlyn truly becomes the commander she was always meant to be when she challenges Ambessa here. She has a lot to prove, a lot to atone for and a lot left to fight for, and Caitlyn gives every bit of herself over to it, consequences be damned. She’s willing to give her life to save everyone, and if that’s not Caitlyn trying to be redeemed I don’t know what else she could do.

The fight sequence is incredible. Ambessa takes on her daughter duo skillfully. Ambessa is a tank of a woman, a fearless leader and a fierce fighter. But Caitlyn has grown and changed. She’s not the naive child Ambessa manipulated anymore, she’s a wise, hardened warrior with a good heart and an unwavering desire to make amends.

We see Caitlyn’s true, courageous strength in this scene as she uses Ambessa’s own Noxian teachings against her;

Caitlyn fights with all her might; she ignores the blade in her stomach and goes for Ambessa again and again, taking blow after blow but never quitting. 

She fights with vision; her intuitiveness effectively analysing Ambessa’s movement, choices and weaknesses. She sees the runic band around her arm deflecting Mel’s attacks, and plans to use it against her.

She fights with guile; when Ambessa has her on her knees, a blade heading towards her eye, and Ambessa’s air of victory about her, Cait uses the blade in her stomach to make her move and slices the band from Ambessa’s arm.

But most importantly Caitlyn sacrifices.

In season 1 she trades her prized rifle, which is essentially an extension of who Caitlyn is at her very core, to get the medicine needed to save Vi. Here, in the fight against Ambessa, Caitlyn gives over even more. She gives her eye - an actual piece of herself - to try and save Piltover and Zaun. Cait is a marksman, her sight is imperative, and yet Caitlyn gives her eye freely. She doesn’t do it for forgiveness but because she needs to try and make amends and put things right. She does it because she was willing to pay the ultimate price of her sins.

Words mean a lot, but so do actions, and Cait is redeemed by hers in these final episodes, in my opinion at least. 

After the battle is over and it appears they’ve won we don’t see Cait and Vi again until the very end but we do see Sevika taking a seat at the council. Cait has given her seat to Zaun. She took so much from them during her grief and hatred and now that she’s free from that, she gives them her seat so they can have a voice. Their own voice. I don’t personally see how Caitlyn could ever remain in the council when she was an oppressor to Zaun. She had to step back and give that up in order for the divide between Piltover and Zaun to continue to grow and heal. Her purpose in rebuilding will be found elsewhere.

With that said, we don’t know if Cait is still an enforcer or not, but we do see eye-patch Caitlyn back to her investigative ways. She’s pensively studying the Hexgates blueprint while twirling a piece of shrapnel between her fingers. It’s not just any piece of shrapnel though, it’s the head of one of Jinx’s monkey bombs. Caitlyn zooms in on the vents leading off the Hexgates, and it appears she’s pondering one question; could Jinx have survived and escaped?

The question is why is Caitlyn looking in the first place. Is she looking to simply help Vi with getting closure? Or is Cait looking because second chances and forgiveness become more healing with time? Is there a world where Caitlyn and Jinx can grow and heal enough to both be in Vi’s orbit without hurting her? It’s left open to interpretation. But it’s hopeful after all the pain the three of them have endured.

We see Vi looking emotionally and physically spent as she hums to herself. But she also looks calm and at peace. Humming, enjoying the fire, comfortably sitting like she’s at home in the Kiramman house. It’s heartwarming to see Vi looking safe; like she belongs.

Cait comes through from her investigating, and teases Vi slightly showing a domestic growth in their relationship. We don’t know how long it’s been but we can assume both cities are still in a state of rebuild and change. 

Caitlyn is still a Kiramman however. She might not be a commander anymore but she still has a sense of duty and will always want to help, and she checks in with Vi to see if she’s still there with her. Because Vi doesn’t have to fight anymore if she doesn’t want to, and if she doesn’t, Caitlyn won’t ask her too. 

‘Are you still in this fight, Violet?’

But the thing about Vi is no matter how emotionally and physically exhausted she is, or how beaten down, Vi will always get up. It’s just who Violet is at her core. Vi fights for what she loves, to protect and help them, and the person Vi loves more than anything is Caitlyn, so of course Vi is right there with her. 

‘I am the dirt under your nails, cupcake. Nothing’s gonna clean me out.’

Together they will weep, and laugh, and love, and heal, and work to make things better. Together they will keep moving forwards, always.

——

With all that picked apart, I think Caitlyn is a well rounded, flawed character, and she’ll always be up there as one of my favourites now. We see her go through hell and back and come out the other side with a good heart. She’s not perfect… but just like Vi, I love her.

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

Y'know, it's unfortunate more people don't compare Louis and Violet in good faith.

Like, when I do see people compare them, it's usually through the lens of one is good, and the other bad. One is more canon than the other, and here's why. One is objectively better for Clementine, and the other is less impactful, worse written, didn't have chemistry with her, insert several insults here, etc.

I don't think it's inherently bad to express why you might not like one of them, or why you prefer one over the other. That's fine, that's a matter of opinion. It only gets to me when it becomes hostile, or passive aggressive... but even then, I've learned to just roll my eyes and move on. Some people make it very clear that they're not worth having a discussion with.

However, I wish I could read more nuanced comparisons of the two that didn't default to the "and that's why this one is better." At least some are kind enough to tack on a "for my Clementine" at the end.

You know how it goes: Louis is cute and he makes Clementine laugh, whereas Violet's boring, her love is shallow, she's still not over Minerva and she's using Clementine as a rebound. Violentine's a bad ship because Violet's actually a traitor, and they're practically the same person and that's bad.

Violet's loyal and reliable, whereas Louis is annoying, he never takes anything serious, he's a traitor for his vote, and he's nothing but a distraction. Clouis is a bad ship because how could any Clementine possibly like him after he voted her and AJ out? That's bad!

That's always the conclusion, right? One good, one bad.

This is incredibly limiting and it drives me nuts.

They're foils. They contrast one another, highlight each other's strengths and flaws, in such an interesting way that it makes Clementine's choice between them all the more meaningful.

One is not good and the other bad, they're different, and I think that's worth exploring.

Let's start with a common argument: Violet is the more impactful option due to her connection to Minerva.

Now, to be fair, I can understand why someone on Team Violet would believe this. Yes, it's true that the confrontation with Minerva is more impactful for a violentine shipper who has more investment in Violet as a character. Louis doesn't have as strong of a connection to her.

However, what they're failing to recognize is that Minerva isn't the only ghost to haunt this narrative. Violet may have Minerva, yes, but Louis has Marlon... and that doesn't just go away once Marlon's dead.

Violet's route has Minerva as her ex-girlfriend, and her bond with Tenn that all comes to a head on the bridge. Louis' route has Marlon's death and how that specifically impacts his relationship with AJ and Clementine, and the slow burn of forgiveness on all sides.

Marlon and Minerva are also reflective of Clementine's worst outcomes.

Clementine and Marlon were tied together through Brody's blood splattered on their hands and faces. They both killed a part of Brody, but only one of them lies about who killed her first.

After Marlon dies, Clementine gradually replaces him throughout the game; Rosie is her dog now, she uses his bow [which Louis gave her], she becomes the leader. Clementine gets them to fight back, and when three of her people are captured, she doesn't cut her losses. She does what Marlon couldn't; "we're getting them back."

When she chooses Louis, he does for her what he never did for Marlon: he steps up.

Clementine proves she won't become Marlon just as she proves she won't become Minerva.

After getting James to agree to help them, Clementine and AJ talk about what to do if she ever gets bit. AJ says he'd want her to bite him, too. He repeats this sentiment after she's actually bitten, telling her he wants to stay and they could turn together, peacefully.

When Minerva confronts them on the bridge, she's dying... and she wants Tenn to die with her. She doesn't care who she has to kill in the process. She's more monster than human at this point, and most times, she succeeds.

They're both bitten. Clementine could've become a monster like Minerva in the end. She could've killed AJ, and they could've become walkers together. But she didn't. Minerva wanted Tenn to die for her, and Clementine wanted AJ to live for her.

Also, I should mention she has Minerva's axe. She carries the key weapons associated with Marlon and Minerva throughout different points in the game, further solidifying these connections. She uses Marlon's bow to save her friends, and she uses Minerva's axe to save AJ, who in turn uses it to save her.

What's also so interesting about this is how Marlon's alive in episode one, and Minerva is thought to be dead. Louis has his best friend, and Violet's lost hers. But, at the end of the episode, Marlon's dead and Minerva's revealed to be alive.

Marlon becomes the ghost, and Minerva becomes the monster. Clementine becomes to Louis and Violet what Marlon and Minerva never could... how does that not drive anyone else insane?

So, no. One is not objectively better, or more impactful, because of a connection to Marlon or Minerva. They're different. It just depends on which storyline you personally find more compelling.

Actually, let's talk about that a little more.

In my opinion, the most intriguing point of comparison between Louis and Violet stems from their perceptions of survival, and how that impacts Clementine.

An argument I see made against violentine is that Violet's boring because she and Clementine are too similar. This usually comes from clouis shippers who prefer the "opposites attract" dynamic Clementine and Louis have.

On the flip side, there's the counter argument that Louis is reckless, that he doesn't take survival as seriously as he should and Clementine wouldn't want him because of that.

These are interesting to me because I get where they're coming from... but they ultimately miss the point.

The other day, I replayed TFS. Except this time, I did something a little bit differently. I played my usual clouis route, but then I had the violentine route pulled up on my laptop so that I could watch these scenes, comparing them side by side… and something occurred to me. 

Louis is about challenging Clementine's perception of survival, and Violet is about validating it.

Louis challenges Clementine from the very moment we meet him—he’s playing music. His initial philosophy on survival butts heads with Clementine’s. The fact that hunting with him and Aasim challenges your perception of “your choices have consequences.” These games have conditioned the player to think along the lines of, “Yeah, Louis is more fun… but if I don’t hunt with Aasim, we won’t have any food.”

Except that’s just it. I hate to say it, Aasim, but in the grand scheme of things… hunting with you doesn’t matter. It's actually less rewarding. You know why? Because in the next section, we get food from the train station. It would’ve been more beneficial to spend time with Louis over hunting, hence how he challenges you.  

This then primes you for the choice between choosing to follow Louis or follow Violet. I know people complain about how this is presented with Violet doing something productive [checking the walls] and Louis playing piano… but that’s the point. If you’re going through with Louis’ full route, you need to meet him at his level, and in turn, he will meet you at yours. You need to accept the challenge, the idea that Clementine isn’t entirely right about the way she’s gone about survival.

Oh, and do I even need to mention the vote? The debate over Louis’ vote is exhausting. Often times, people tell on themselves in how they talk about it. It’s not actually about the fact that he voted against them. If it was, these people would have a bigger bone with pick with Mitch, Willy, Ruby, and Omar… and yet Louis is the one who takes all the blame as if he’s the only one personally kicking them out. 

Louis is reacting to the death of his best friend, and the complicated feelings that come with it being caused by AJ. He wants accountability, even if he knows something's wrong. You can either agree with him that it was murder, and set AJ on the path of atonement… or, you can double down and tell him to fuck off, AJ was justified. 

But here’s the thing… the vote adds to the appeal of Louis’ route. To someone who hates him, or at the very least is critical of his vote, that sounds mad or delusional.

Except it’s really not.

Ever heard of a thing called tension? Because there’s a lot of it in ep2 between clouis + AJ and it’s fantastic.

Yes, Louis voting them out is problematic because we need a problem to solve. We need something to feed the tension between him and Clementine. He stepped in front of a gun held by his best friend in order to protect her, forever changing their relationship… only for that to seemingly be taken away from us the moment AJ shoots Marlon. 

Yes, Louis’ route is about being challenged, but it’s also about challenging him. That he’s able to forgive them, that he’s able to question his own survival philosophy and understand theirs, that he’s able to apologize and actually change for the better… that right there is what makes clouis so damn good. 

He becomes hardened whereas Clementine softens. By the end of the game, they’re on a similar level now without neglecting their differences, and they can move forward together. 

That’s what makes Louis’ route appealing… and it’s also what makes it unappealing to people who prefer Violet. 

By contrast, Violet’s already on Clementine’s level when it comes to this perception of survival. She validates that Clementine’s on the right path.

They have other similarities in the way that they’re both female, queer, they both have a kid they look after, they’re not always great with other people, etc. 

People who prefer Louis might consider this boring, but I think to Team Violet, it’s comforting. It’s comforting to have a partner who takes this as seriously as you do, who wants to get shit done. They’re playing Clementine with a similar attitude, and don’t believe it needs to be challenged. It’s comforting to feel validated on something you already firmly believe in. 

We also see this if we compare the hunting and fishing scenes. You have to make an effort to choose Louis by choosing to neglect hunting, but the game makes you fish with Violet no matter what.

Violet’s prioritizing fishing because they need food. That’s what they’ve set out to do, so let’s do it. The game is letting you know that’s the case, and if you value that, continue pursuing her. 

While fishing, they discuss why things are weird with her and Brody. Violet doesn’t take well to Clementine’s blunt, “Because you make it weird. Brody tries and you just make fun of her."

That’s understandable because I think she already kind of knows why and is looking to have her feelings validated. She prefers it when Clementine suggests that it’s because Brody never said sorry for what happened to the twins. 

There’s also comfort and validation in the way Violet sides with Clementine and AJ after Marlon’s death. She votes for them to stay, vocalizing how much she disapproves of the results. There’s this feeling that I recognize from a lot of the sapphic romance I read; “it’s you and me against the world, I’ll always have your back, even if you’re in the wrong, I’ll fight for you.”

In our case, it’s violentine + AJ against the rest of Ericson, save Tenn and Aasim. Violet validates that AJ was justified because Marlon was a liar and murderer, claiming that AJ and Clementine did nothing wrong. Violet fights to keep them. 

The tension between violentine in ep2 is different because instead of one pushing the other away, they’re being forced apart by the vote and there’s nothing they can do about it. That tension is somewhat released when Clementine comes back and they’re reunited, working out a plan to best defend the school. 

It’s also why Violet’s presented as doing something productive when you follow her instead of Louis, and why she asks if you want to hang out after checking the defenses. 

All that being said, allow me to reiterate that one is not good and the other bad, they're different. These concepts of challenge and change/validation and comfort exist on a neutral road as diverging paths. It’s up to the player to pick what path they prefer, but that doesn’t mean the other path isn’t worth acknowledging or analyzing. 

I should also mention that they’re not exclusive; there is overlap with validation being present in Louis’ route and challenges in Violet’s. They’re just more present in episodes 3 and 4 after we’ve made our decision. 

There are several more examples of how this all fits together, buuuuut–

Ya’ll wanna compare some allegories?

Those familiar with my content might already know where I’m going with this as I’ve made a post about Louis and the piano in the past. 

You see, I believe that there are allegories for Louis and Violet’s hearts present in their routes: Louis’ piano, and Violet’s pin. 

I already have a thorough, in-depth analysis of Louis and the piano that you can read, so all I’ll say about it is that on the night of the raid, he asked Clementine to carve a piece of herself into his heart so that no matter what, their initials will be immortalized together in its wood…

And that makes me fucking feral. 

But I'm also so normal about it.

As for Violet, her heart is the star gazing pin she gives to Clementine. She gives it to her so she’ll always remember that night… but she doesn’t give it to her until after Clementine’s saved her, and that fascinates me in the context of it being allegory. 

Louis asks Clementine to carve herself into his heart right before the raid, cementing that from that moment on, he is utterly devoted to her. I believe this is part of the reason why Louis is still happy to see her if he’s the one who’s captured. Yes, yes, he’s also incredibly traumatized from having his tongue cut out and he’d be happy to see anyone, yada yada… but listen, if you romance Louis and he’s captured, his heart remains with her—that piano with their intitals is on full display. When he sees her, he’s still so devoted to her that he refuses to accept that it’s at all her fault. Even when she says it is, he shakes his head... and he so easily accepts her when they’re together in the end. From the moment Clementine puts knife to wood, he’s hers. 

Now, look… you might think I’m going somewhere not great with this but hear me out. 

I think after Clementine’s gone star gazing with her, Violet is fully ready to give her heart to her. Y’know, give her the pin. But, think about what Violet said about how people have left, but Clementine came back. Plus, with the impending raid to think about, maybe Violet should keep the pin until the right moment. 

I believe a key difference between her and Louis is that Violet needs one last thing to solidify that Clementine’s the one. 

Louis gives her his heart prior to the raid because of everything that’s already gone down between them following Marlon’s death. Violet needs to know that Clementine’s willing to fight for her the way she fought before. When Clementine saves her from the raiders, it’s solidified. Even after she sees Minerva again, it changes nothing.

It’s also worth noting that the pin is something Clementine wears. Like the piano carving, it’s a piece on display for everyone to see, to let them know whose heart Clementine has.

Violet literally handed Clementine her heart as a means of saying, “I’m yours. I’m devoted to you.” 

This is why romanced/captured Violet is devastating, and is why she behaves the way she does in the cells. She was so ready to give her heart away and then nope, sorry, Vi! You get knocked unconscious by raiders instead! 

If anything, you kind of deserve to be told to fuck off if you romanced her and then let her get captured. Just sayin’. 

Look, I have a lot of complicated feelings about the captured violentine route, mostly with Violet being as forgiving as she is after her eyes are burned—yes, yes, I know, her eyes are burned and Minerva messed with her head so of course now she’s not hostile, yada, yada. 

But I think it’s rather telling that you don’t get the pin in this route. Sure, Violet’s willing to forgive and possibly pursue this romance in the future… but she’s not ready to hand over her heart, not truly. Not after everything that’s happened. 

And if you want to get extra angsty about it, imagine that Violet made the pin right after they parted ways, but before the raiders came. Meaning that if she’s captured, it’s possibly still sitting somewhere, abandoned. 

Mmhmmm, very normal about this. I feel normal. My normalness about this continues... normally. I'm not losing my shit thinking about that. Nope. Why would I? I wouldn't! So normal.

Okay just let me talk about their reactions to Tenn's death and then I'll shut up.

This makes me want to gnaw my own foot off, I can barely handle it.

AJ shoots Tenn on the bridge because Clementine trusted him to make the hard calls. This saves Louis or Violet's life.

When Louis jumps across, he's completely silent as he watches Tenn die... and then he's pissed; "What the fuck?! How could you just shoot him like that?!"

AJ explains himself, that he did it for him, and Louis is so upset that he forces AJ to look at what he's done, to watch the walkers eat Tenn; "Tenn's dead. He's dead! Do you realize that?! Look! [...] He's... he's gone, because of you. Just fucking gone."

If Clementine says AJ saved his life, Louis says, "So what, we just cut him loose? Gun him down like he was nothing?"

If Clementine says nothing, Louis says, "Tenn was just a little boy!"

The reason Louis responds this way is because in this moment, he just relived Marlon's death all over again, but worse. So, SO much worse!

When Violet jumps across, she breaks down, begging, "Oh, my God! Oh, my God! No, no! No, no, no..." as she watches Tenn die... and then says to AJ, "No! What the fuck?! How could you do that?!"

AJ explains himself, that he did it for her, and Violet is faaaar from okay; "For me? I can't... Tenn is gone! That soft little boy who liked to draw, he's gone, because of you!"

If Clementine says AJ saved her life, Violet says, "You think that's okay?! Just gunning down one of our own?!"

And there it is.

Louis is hardened in this situation because he already went through this... Violet hasn't, not with AJ. She softened up throughout her route due to her relationships to him and Clementine... but this is the moment where she realizes that maybe AJ wasn't as justified as she believed, and this is the consequence.

This leads us to the ending where AJ asks if they're still mad about him killing Tenn, and I just... I'm biting my foot right now because the script has flipped.

Louis is forgiving and understanding. He's soft, he's sympathetic, he shakes AJ's hand to let him know that all is forgiven and they're okay; "I... AJ, I guess it's like... You saw something I didn't. About the situation, I mean. Minnie and the walkers and Tenn, it's just all this chaos in my head when I think back on it. [...] Clem says you saved my life? Well, then, that's exactly what you did. And how can I stay mad at anyone for doing that?"

Or, alternatively, "He was your friend, AJ. I know you are hurting just as much as I am."

As for Violet? She's understanding, too... but she's not quite ready to forgive yet; "The thing you said on the bridge...that he was messing up all the time. It wasn't something new, you know. Tenn got himself or other people into trouble all the time, long before you guys got here. He was always so lost. He lived in a world that just...isn't there, you know? And that's why I tried to look after him. But when I was pulling him away from the walkers, and Minnie, I could also see...he just wasn't there anymore."

"So you're mad, but sad."

"Can I be that for a while?"

And it's completely understandable that she's hurting and struggling with how she feels about AJ moving forward! She wants to be okay, she wants to forgive him, she just needs time.

Now, because I'm forever bitter, but I'm gonna mention this as well: whenever I see someone point at Violet's scene and say, "See!? This is how LOUIS should've acted in ep2!" like... they're telling on themselves again. Not just that they don't understand Louis as a character or his route, but that they don't fully grasp Violet's part in this either. Or time frames, for that matter.

Let me put it to you in simple terms... they react the same.

After Marlon and Tenn die, they're upset. They're pissed. They blame AJ and yell at him. After they've had time to process what happened [Louis after the two week time skip, Violet after time passes between the bridge and the ending] they share the same, "I'm still upset about Marlon/Tenn. Can I be that for a while and still be your friend?" sentiment.

The difference is that Louis is treated poorly for it because of the vote, and because we feel it first hand for longer... Violet got to grieve off screen and come back after she's sorted herself out.

It's a disservice to both of their characters because it's rooted in that same mentality that I criticized at the beginning: "This is why one is better than the other."

Do I need to say it again? I'm gonna say it again.

One is not good and the other bad. They're different.

There are so many fun discussions that could come from putting Louis and Violet side by side, and examining them. I haven't even covered the different ways they're introduced, or compared their ep3 dates to see what it says about them and the overall narratives! What about the cell scenes!? How they react when Dorian's about the cut off their fingers! The way they approach James upon meeting him!

That last one in particular is especially funny! They're all under stress about blending in with a herd of walkers to infiltrate a boat to save their friends, and yet Louis easily saunters up to the guy wearing walker skins with a smile, and makes him laugh by saying, "Functional and fashionable. I'll take two."

Violet approaches James like he's an injured wild animal that's going to bite her, and bless her heart, she tries with, "I, uh… hey. Hey there, James. Sorry about Willy." Then James gives her this judgmental side-eye, like buddy? She's not the weirdo here.

There is so much potential to dissect here, and I want to see people do it... but I want them to do it fairly, in good faith.

I want to get away from the idea of comparing them to "prove" which is better because there is no objective better. There isn't! That's a waste of time!

I'm so done with The Debate™; it's unhelpful, it's annoying, and it's boring as shit. I've heard it all before, and you probably have, too.

I want to put Louis and Violet under a microscope and study them with the thought process of, "one does this and the other does that... what does it mean!? what does it say about the narrative!? Oh my god, they have the same opinion on this thing, WRITE THAT DOWN!"

So yeah, that's my ramble for the night.

I'm gonna go replay TFS for further research.

[blindbeta]

I've noticed that you are interested in stories with multiple blind characters and often propose adding more blind characters to a story as a solution. I really struggle with this because it's not as simple as that -- stories don't have infinite narrative space. The idea that every story has a large cast is influenced by the prevalence of long serialized media in fandom: webcomics, TV shows, etc. But many writers (myself included) write a lot of novellas and short stories which often only have a few characters -- maybe even only 1 or 2! Even novels don't usually have huge expansive casts -- maybe 5 main characters with some additional side characters.

Considering this, I don't understand how it's realistic for every story (or even, say, 50% of stories) to have multiple blind characters (without it feeling forced). This is compounded by the fact that most blogs that talk about other forms of representation say the same! So if I write a 2-character short story and the protagonist is a blind Latino man, does the second character also have to be a blind Latino man? It just doesn't make sense! This is just a general problem I've noticed in discussions around representation -- there's an assumption that every cast will have 10+ characters and narrative space to develop those characters, even though that's not realistic for most narrative forms.

Do you have any thoughts on this?

Writing Multiple Blind Characters in Short Stories

Hi Anon! Surprise. I write short stories as well. I have experience with this. I have never felt like my blind characters were forced or unrealistic, even with having several of them in the same story. I’ll try to explain what might help you.

First, the idea that multiple blind characters is forced or unrealistic comes from ableism. Think about why you feel there is a limit on disabled characters. If you can create stories, I would hope you are creative enough to consider the possibility that multiple blind characters could exist in the same place and time. Challenging this barrier opens up more possibilities, allowing you to explore different types of blindness, different reactions to it, different upbringings, and multiple ways of living, adapting, and navigating being blind.

Second, blind characters need access to their own community. This is where they learn how to be blind. This where they get support. This is where they might find understanding and belonging. You can find more information about community here in an excellent reblog. Also, here.

As you mentioned, I often suggest adding more blind characters when writers insist upon using stereotyped portrayals. Having multiple characters with different experiences helps to make your story more realistic and nuanced, contrary to what people might implicitly believe. Having more than one blind character is something I highly recommend because it helps with not having all your representation rest on the shoulders of one character.

For example, if you are worried a main character who has cloudy eyes might reinforce the idea that all blind people have cloudy eyes, having another blind character with a different experience may help. If one of your blind characters is naive and innocent, you might have another blind character who is brash, displays a lack of trust in others, and has a lot of shocking stories. Maybe they’re in a rock band together. They met while playing blind football (aka soccer) on a middle school team. They bonded over their pet cats and sour patch kids.

Or something.

Another important thing to remember when writing is that you have control over the story. Too many writers come to me feeling stuck because they feel they cannot change their story while also wanting to incorporate my suggestions. This makes it challenging to address implicit bias or stereotypes, much less guide writers in going in different directions.

Additionally, I feel uncomfortable with the complaints about other blogs in this ask. I feel like this isn’t really about me, nor is it something I can comment on. I will say that it sounds as if a bunch of blogs dedicated to helping people write marginalized characters are mentioning some of the same things. They are probably doing so for a reason.

However, while it helps, writing multiple blind characters won’t improve every story, which I explained in my review of the book Blind. I was not impressed with this book. I did not feel that the four blind characters were very good, nor did having them help with offsetting the portrayal of blindness as a miserable experience.

Conversely, one of my favorite blind characters is Toph Beifong from Avatar: The Last Airbender. Despite being the only blind character in the show, the writers did a good job with her. Would I have liked her to meet more of her community as she travels with the Gang? Absolutely. Even though I like her, she still never had access to her community after being isolated by her parents for so long.

So, no, you don’t need to have multiple blind characters if the suggestion bothers you this much. I even provided good examples of what to do, what not to do, and times where my typical advice was not as helpful for the resulting story.

However, please consider where these feelings stem from. Consider the origins of the idea that having multiple blind characters is unrealistic. Using the example you provided in your question, I wonder, would you say the same if both your characters were white and abled? Is there any way you can challenge the fear of seeming unrealistic? What about being considered unrealistic bothers you so much?

You don’t necessarily need to have characters in the story for them to exist. Even background characters can help. I will try to give some ideas for this:

Does your blind character have family they can talk about or remember? Are any of their family members blind?

Do they have any friends? Just because the friends aren’t in the story doesn’t mean they don’t exist at all.

Does the blind character have any formative memories or flashbacks?

Does the character who isn’t blind know any blind folks?

Your characters should have lives outside of the story. They should have memories and experiences that made them who they are. This is where you can have other blind characters. Perhaps this is how your blind character can have a community.

However, I would still like to see more blind characters interacting with each other. This is what I want as a blind person. If you don’t want to go that direction, that’s fine.

I hope this helps.

[termitnik]

trying not to have my shipping goggles on all the time when it comes to pathologic because i believe that analyzing every single interaction with the intent of discovering evidence of romantic feelings removes a lot of nuance...

however as much as i want to i just can't get behind the idea of burahkovsky hating each other in the changeling route honestly. i wish i could because i think it would be an interesting dynamic to explore however when a lot of the dialogue with either of them from day 6 onwards is "oh yeah he told me this when we met yesterday. of course we didn't kill each other what's wrong with you. also i'm not letting you in all the details whoopsie" i just can't seriously get behind it because it seriously seems like something else is going on entirely (i hope this is clarified in the new changeling route)

also someone proposed the idea that dankovsky is lowkey highkey manipulating artemy in his route from the arrival of the inquisitor and onwards. which is also another dynamic i think would be more interesting to explore instead of interpreting everything in the haruspex route as romantic. but still i can't get behind it because i just don't see it as manipulation i don't know. like he's pretty open with the fact that he expects things of you (like letting him go through your father's notes or meeting the foreman and then filling him in). he even tells you 'i'm going to play a bit unfair now hehe' like he openly acknowledges when he is asking something of you. they also mentioned how he's trying to forge intimacy by calling artemy by his first name and stuff but like... i would argue that having an emotional breakdown in front of someone and having them convince you out of suicide does indeed create some genuine intimacy. i'm not starting an argument with the person that proposed this because as a russian speaker i respect their authority on the matter (in fact you guys should check out all their posts where they compare russian vs english dialogue because they offer some interesting perspective) but yeah. this is an open invite for people to convince me i guess. or just discuss their own opinions.

[and-her-saints]

american who grew up protestant: all religion is bad because of [feature unique to christianity] and [feature unique to abrahamic religions]! i can’t believe all of us christians grew up being taught that [teaching unique to protestantism]! this specific religious issue affects everyone [by "everyone" they mean "americans"]!

like obviously there’s massive nuance to this but it’s sooo tiring hearing some american WASP or whatever discussing religion without knowing anything about religion in other countries, different cultures, Indigenous religions and spirituality, ethnoreligions, religious persecution, or religions other than christianity (or religions other than christianity, islam & judaism at *best*).

you cannot ���destroy religion” your way into collective liberation.

you cannot argue for “a religionless world” without inherently and inadvertently calling for cultural genocide.

most of these exvangelicals don’t even care to explore the ways they’re still part of the cultural hegemonic majority. they don’t care to realize they’re still *culturally* christian, and that just because they now don’t believe in a god, it doesn’t mean their values, their perspective, their ethics, their cosmology, their politics *are no longer* influenced by their experience of their specific brand of protestantism/christianity. they are, most of the times and by all means, Christian Atheists™️

they have no interest in unpacking how their critique and disdain for “the Old Testament God” has historically affected and continues to affect Jewish people to this day. they have no interest in unpacking how their open mockery of Jesus also offends Muslims, not just their hometown church.

Christianity hurt you. but that does not give you a free-pass to be weird about all religious people and their beliefs. especially when their background, experience, level of privilege, geographical location, and religion practiced looks nothing like what you used to do. because, believe it or not, not “all religion” is the same. it’s soooo not that simple.

“end all religion” sounds like a liberatory chant when your ex-religion belongs to the cultural-religious hegemony of your region and has a strong political and social power (which IS to be criticised and dismantled, don’t get me wrong.) however, “end all religion” sounds a LOT less liberatory when you’re a persecuted religious minority. because “when” we do “end all religion,” who do you fucking think is going to be ended first?

TLDR: good for you for deconstructing. 👍 now, deconstruct some more. 👍 atheism is fine, anti-theism is a harmful pipeline.

[lastoneout]

Something I've noticed that is like...concerning but also just really annoying about online discussions about basically any topic these days is something that probably already has a name but that for now I'ma call "death of nuance via strict binary thinking" which leads a lot of people to get very angry over the idea that two things can be true at once, or that bringing up someone else's problems does not overshadow or invalidate your own, or that you can uplift a group of people without tearing down another.

Because like, I've had this happen on several of my posts now, where I say a generally harmless, factual statement, and several people rush in to either outright accuse me of saying a different, more extreme statement or annoyingly "correct" me to fix the supposed ~dangerous implications~ of my words, which I'm not gonna lie is as infuriating as it is confusing.

I can't make a post about how sugar is one of the main things the human body runs on and thus trying to remove it entirely from your diet is dangerous and harmful without people showing up to be like "are you saying it's okay to eat an entire bag of sugar by the spoonful??" and "well if you ate nothing but oreoes and ice cream that would make you sick" even though that doesn't contradict or really have anything?? to do?? with my original statement??

I can't make a post talking about the issues men(trans or cis) face under the patriarchy without people showing up and getting mad at me for "making feminism about men" despite the fact that the majority of my feminist activism DOES center women and taking a moment to explore the ways the patriarchy harms us all in no way harms women. And I can't make a post pointing out that marginalized men, especially black, disabled, and fat men often have malice read into their very existence and maybe that's bad without people showing up to get mad at me for saying marginalized men are incapable of harm which is not what I said at all.

And this one is a bit different but still one I see a lot, which is an over-correction seeped in the idea that we can only uplift one group at a time, or if x group is good y group must be bad. Like I am all for pointing out that there's nothing wrong with not wearing makeup and having body hair and not wearing deodorant, and women who live like that are fine and valid and can still be seen as sexy and desirable, and yes there ARE things to critique about the beauty industry for sure...but then that manifests into thinking women who do shave and wear makeup and deodorant are ugly or weird or brainwashed and should be mocked, which..no? Or when the dialog shifted to talking about fat people being hot suddenly we had a lot of people acting like skinny women were ugly and weird when that actually doesn't help with fat liberation AT ALL.

(Also just to clarify I think the occasional joke about these topics is okay given how much mockery fat, hairy, and non-feminine women get BUT there is a point when you go to far and some groups of people are racing over the line.)

And like yeah you could say the internet has always been this way but there's been a real noticeable uptick in progressive leftists coming at complex issues with this kind of no-nuance thinking, when it used to be something I really only saw from conservatives. I'd see stuff like "well feminism is bad because men also have problems" and "oh black lives matter? are you saying other lives don't??" and "oh you think drug addicts aren't inherently dangerous well what about the ones who DO hurt people" or "we can't talk about trans women's issues that would take away from talking about cis women's problems" and "we can't have a fat character that's glorifying ob*sity" and we used to MOCK them for that shit. This was seen as RIDICULOUS and was generally considered a conversation ender because it's clear the people doing it aren't actually interested in having a conversation they just want to yell at you for something you didn't say or pull a huge "I am uncomfortable when we are not about me" which just...ough please stop.

So seeing like actual progressive people pull this shit is really weird and it happens so often I legit can't ignore it anymore. I don't really have a solution, but I just feel like some of us really need to wrap our heads around the idea that just because someone said one thing doesn't mean they're saying this other thing too. Which, when you put it like that, sounds like the kind of thing you learn in kindergarten but I digress. Someone saying it's okay to eat sugar, your body actually needs it, isn't necessarily saying it's okay to eat so many oreoes you get sick(or excluding diabetics or being a corn lobby apologist or whatever the hell else people on that post are accusing me of). Someone bringing up the ways the patriarchy hurts people who aren't women isn't making feminism about men or saying women don't have problems. Trans men talking about their issues isn't implying anything about trans women just like bisexuals or asexuals talking about their issues isn't taking space away from allo gay people. Someone talking about how assuming marginalized men are threats when they're just existing is bad and gets innocent people killed isn't saying OJ Simpson did nothing wrong.

Two things can be true at the same time. Nuance is important and making space to talk about one thing isn't taking away from someone else. There's no contest, no slippery slope so dangerous we can't even state facts, no pie you have to fight over. Oppression isn't a math problem where whatever you do to one side of the equation must be done to the other or a scale that can't be balanced. This kind of thought process isn't productive and will not lead to a better, more equal world. Just one where someone else is wearing the boot.

Just...idk please just stop coming onto posts assuming the worst, doing bad faith readings and then getting pissed about something the person didn't say, assuming someone else getting a seat at the table means yours is in danger, being so desperate to be a good ally that you start doing lateral violence and calling it punching up, and just full on stealing conservative talking points and argument styles and trying to make them progressive.

We're supposed to be better than this. That's all I've got really, we're just supposed to be better than this. And while I don't always engage with people like this for obvious reasons, I'd like to think they aren't beyond saving and maybe this post can change a few minds. You guys aren't wrong to be angry and want to help and protect people who need it, but this is not the way to go about it and it never will be.

[clairedaring]

Hi! I saw that you've read Euthanasia, and I had a question after watching episode 7 of Spare Me Your Mercy. I'm curious about the framing of Boss' death and what space the novel gives to tease out the complexities of euthanasia and disability? As a disabled watcher, I come to discussions of euthanasia outside terminal illness quite wary. Though I'm certainly coming from a Western context where euthanasia and disability is a very sensitive topic and the conversation might look pretty different in Thailand. The framing in the show felt at the very least rushed in terms of building any nuance into the conversation so far, so I'm curious if and how the novel explores the complexities of this.

Hi Shane 💖

To be honest I think that the series is doing far better in terms of show the complexities than the books in terms of euthanasia (i know, unbelievable but bare with me for a second here friend).

So.... the biggest difference the series has made so far is changing the roles between Somsak and Boss. In the book, Somsak was the main culprit and Boss was his accomplice in the way that Boss/Boze also idolises Kan and his ideals -> Somsak convinced Boss to join him in his quest to euthanise patients.

And if you ask what Doctor Somsak's motivation is? There isn't more to it as much as he believes in the same thing as Kan and Kan coming to the hospital is now a future scapegoat for him.

In the novel, Kan also deliberately euthanised/murdered Dr. Somsak when he was in the hospital after they were both injured in their gun fight (similar to what happened to Boss) (pinging @waitmyturtles who may be interested to know that novel!Kan wasn't just a morally grey ass, he really did fuck up there and genuinely did not deserve to end up with Wasan where they left them in the first novel).

But there wasn't a dramatic conversation between them like how Boss asked Kan to do kill him. No, like novel!Kan straight up murdered Somsak to keep him from telling everyone his secret (granted it was his only murder and he did go to prison for it but yeah still novel!Kan was... something else).

So in this sense I think the series has already done much better with the topic of euthanasia, opening up more sides to the debates whereas the novel only touches upon euthanasia in a very surface level way to move forward with its the murder mystery plot.

It's doing it very clumsily for sure but for instance I like that Boss's background story represented how his mother got caregiver burnout and in a country where public healthcare is not as developed and there aren't much welfare or support schemes for people living in rural areas, it's not uncommon to see this seemingly selfish thinking from people around terminally ill/permanently disabled people. It's selfish and inherently discriminatory but it's a raw representation of the painfully ugly mindset people may harbour but will never say it out loud in public.

I'm in no way defending this series by the way, I'm simply saying that if you're looking for more nuances and complexities on the topic of euthanasia in the novels, they're definitely not going to offer that. I would say that the novels offer more complexities in the development of the relationship between Kan and Wasan because it's constructed in a way that's much more believable for reader audience.

The series... I think EP.7 tried a little too much with incorporating assisted suicide into euthanasia which is only going to make it much more controversial.

I hope these little novel spoilers help and answer some of your questions. I really can't offer anything from the novels in terms of disability because it wasn't even mentioned once ಥ_ಥ

[anam-mana]

I’m gonna be honest guys, I don’t think Leander is or will develop into a Yandere.

Do I think he is a monster and there’s something very dark and disturbing about him as a person. Yes. All the clues point in that direction. But I don’t think he has any interest in limiting the freedom of the MC in the ways yandere’s usually do.

For one, the first thing Leander does after learning about our curse is send us out into the city by ourselves literally encouraging us to “explore” in his words. And if you say that went badly for you later his response is not to suggest you should have stayed, but rather to suggest he go with you next time.

He hates and is disgusted by what is being done to Vere. And is equally disgusted by the idea of people being bound to a group mind instead of being allowed to live individually by their own singular will, in the case of discussing the Seaspring. Which, along with the fact that Leander is described as “rebellious” by Red Spring Studio, suggests that he values individuality and freedom for others, as well as for himself.

And to top it all off, Leander in his last seen with the MC, when asked if he’s recruiting them into the Bloodhounds, answers “not yet.” Because, he want’s the MC to find and choose their own path first. Which indicates that clearly the high value he puts on free will extends to the MC.

The only thing that really indicates towards him being a yandere would be that he has a jealous streak, as indicated by both his quiz results and his insisting HE be the one to get you a drink instead of Ais. But there are plenty of jealous character in the world that aren’t yanderes. There are even characters who are EXTREMELY jealous but don’t ever hit yandere territory. So I don’t find his jealousy to be red flag to a yandere nature as much as I find it to be a red flag about his personality.

I think what makes Leander a monster is probably much more nuanced, because thus far, the hints that he may not be who he presents himself as to us are themselves very nuanced.

Or, it could be worse than that, as my theory is that he is both a monster AND exactly who he presents himself as. He is a man who would crush a skull, AND the man who would hold your hand to soothe you because he knows you’re starved for touch. He is a man capable of unspeakable cruelty, AND untold amounts of kindness. He is a monster, AND he is just human. And sometimes humans are monstrous.

To me, that’s what Leander appears to be, and I find that both deeply compelling and horrifying.

Anyways, he’s my fav and I love him.

[voxofthevoid]

relate to being turned off from satosugu bc of the fandom. especially being on twitter makes me feel crazy omg bc i'll see posts where people are straight up acting like gojo was completely fine with what geto did bc gojo is just oh so down bad for him and loves him more than anyone else in the world and he doesnt care about anything he just wants geto back. and that is just. so untrue and also so boring, imo.

Because to me, gojo truly *is* a good person in his actions. he says crass things and maybe his mentality can be detached at times, but he always helps people where it counts. Even when he was taking Riko's body away and he asked geto if he should just kill the cult members and geto said no- I have a hard time picturing gojo actually going through with it even if geto *had* said yes. Because for all that gojo postures, I don't think he truly has that kind of bloodlust and rage in him, imo. Not even saying that I think killing those cult members would've been bad, or that Gojo would never ever kill anybody (simply not true), I just simply don't think gojo wouldve stopped walking, turned around, and killed allll those people in that instance (or if he did, I think he wouldve felt,,, off about it afterwards, despite what he said).

But I see so many stsg shippers who act like the only reason gojo was heartbroken about the situation was just because geto left him, and not bc, yaknow, geto committed reprehensible atrocities and became a supremacist. and i'm like,,, are we watching the same show? it's truly such a BAFFLING perspective of the relationship to me. like why erase their moral differences ? doesn't that make the ship more interesting? Sometimes I feel like the reason they do that is bc they can't handle the fact that Geto post-defection is seriously NOT a good person. at all.

stsg as a ship could be sooo much more interesting, imo, if people didn't erase the fact that geto BETRAYED gojo with what he did. not just the leaving. the village massacre, the parricide, the fact that he had no shame about it and stuck by his actions. all of those things betrayed gojo. bc i think gojo truly does want to help people, and he thought that, no matter how hard it was, he would always have geto along with him to do it, and that would make the pressure easier. instead geto chose to become one of the people that makes gojos job harder, lmao.

i think if shippers actually acknowledged that fact the ship wouldn't feel so fucking boring to me.

I’d save you from Twitter if I could, friend. Not saying other sites are free of harebrained idiots. I have Getou and satosugu blocked here for a reason, and I’ve seen screenshots of rancid fucking takes from TikTok and Instagram. Even Reddit—and I’m talking about canon discussion subreddits that generally ban ship talk—didn’t spare me from having to see people’s most reductive takes on this ship. But Twitter in particular seems to be where brain cells go to die.

Nothing in the world can make satosugu compelling to me, but objectively, it’s a ship with rich potential—for angst, for drama, for fluff, for toxicity, for love, for hate, for all of it combined. Like you’ve said, one of the most interesting facets of their relationship is how their bond culminates in betrayal. I’m personally quite interested in the fact that Gojou killed Getou despite loving him, after sparing him for eleven years because of the very same love. It’s not like Getou was ever harmless—he was a special-grade curse user, not the kind of threat you want running around. His cult activities and killings weren’t exactly subtle either. That angle—the fact that love makes Gojou turn a blind eye to Getou’s actions until he crosses a line even Gojou can’t abide—is very, very interesting to me as someone quite obsessed with Gojou’s characterization. People who have an equivalent interest in Getou would find plenty there to peel apart, probably. The two of them together would also offer rich, nuanced grounds for exploration, and I’m sure there are people doing just that.

But fandom spaces as a whole have become exceptionally sanitized recently. I’m not talking about people who generally simply prefer fluff and write that regardless of canon dynamics; there’s nothing wrong with that. We’re all allowed our self-indulgent tastes. But what you’ve described—a tendency to erase characters’ dark or grey morality, to think along black-and-white lines that put people into neat little boxes, to remove unsavory or unhealthy elements from relationships—has been plaguing fandoms more and more, especially fandoms with a large number of young(er) fans. JJK is definitely one of those.

I’ve seen similar takes on a lot of JJK ships as well as platonic relationships, like goyuu shippers asking why fic authors write Gojou as predatory toward Yuuji in canon settings with their canon ages (yeah, a real mystery why a 28 y/o romancing/fucking a 15 y/o would be written as predatory) and dad!Gojou truthers earnestly arguing that Gojou has paternal feelings toward Megumi (or Yuuji or his students in general) and is also such a good dad. I’ve seen it with even sukugo and tojigo, in the brief days before both wound up on my blacklist.

Basically, it’s a fandom-wide issue in the English-speaking JJK sphere (I’m sure the Eastern side and other language/region-specific sides have their own debates and issues, but I’m unfamiliar with those), and because satosugu is the biggest ship in this sphere, it has a significantly larger number of voices making themselves heard—as well as a significantly larger number of nuance-allergic dumbasses making themselves heard. The latter tends to be so fucking loud, often drowning out the other voices. It can feel inescapable, even with filters and shit.

[dyaz-stories]

Hey there! Just wanna know, what the heck happened in the JJK manga? Is it already over? Did the characters FINALLY mourn Gojo?! I gave up trying to read the manga after 236, so I just decided to randomly hear from others. But anyways, what happened??

Hey there! BOY AM I HAPPY TO DISCUSS THAT.

(I'm sorry I have so many thoughts and you've given me an excuse to ramble so this is going to be long)

There are two chapters left in the manga, it will end on September 30th. The chapter that just came out, chapter 269, was, however, really bad imo and a terrible use of time considering how little time Gege has left. I get that he had to wrap up quick, but in my personal opinion, it's inexplicable that he'd dedicate a whole chapter to what we just saw.

(More under the cut with spoilers for chapter 269)

Okay, so, the characters spend half the chapter arguing about how they could have done a better job fighting Sukuna, even though at this point, the losses are minimal. Most of the characters who were possibly dead are fine and dandy actually (Yuta, Higuruma, Todo, Kusakabe). Choso is still dead, but he gets a little line about how that's sad (and his death scene was really good and effective, so I'm not that mad about it, even if he's a character I really loved).

It kinda feels like Gege is justifying the way the fight went, which is a bit weird. In story, I think this could make sense if it was fueled by grief and loss and more of a "this person could have been saved! and this person didn't have to die!", but it feels kind of matter of fact tbh, with Maki being pretty much the only one displaying emotions. Even she seems to be arguing about efficiency, not really about saving human lives? Other characters' responses aren't much better. Yuuji in particular looks like he's super numb to everything, which again, yes, that's a trauma response, but it doesn't make for interesting storytelling and it's not going to be explored further, so... what's the point.

Also think that Yuta desecrating Gojo's corpse isn't explored enough. He did something horrifying that turned to not be that useful — going with the manga's message that the end doesn't justify the means — and he seems fine. I guess Maki yelling at him could be explained by the fact that she was strongly against this action, but it's never made explicit, which is a shame. (think it's more implied it's because he endangered himself and she has feelings for him)

The other half of the chapter is spent on a plot point that I don't think had been developed before that, about the new shadow style. This feels like the last arc Gege wanted to have and Sukuna's fight went on for too long so he had to scrap it. The point is essentially that the head of the new shadow style school is trying to become the head of Jujutsu Society as a whole now that the clans have collapsed. There was a binding vow that made it so the head of the school could steal years from people who had learned the style and add it to their lifespan. Anyway, Mei Mei steps in and makes it so the style can become more widely used.

(If you're bored reading that, yeah, so was I)

It's not useless exactly — it definitely goes towards the manga's message of ending the cycle and starting off with a clean slate, so that's a win — but it feels super rushed. It didn't have to be rushed, could have been a decent arc, it just isn't, and again, I don't think that's a great use of pages this late in the story.

Last but not least, Gojo. Gojo gets two mentions in this chapter.

The second one is in passing, when Hakari defends Yuta's usefulness.

And the first one, oooh boy the first one,

is about how this was all Gojo's fault from the get-go anyway 😃

And again, some nuance here. Kusakabe specifically says that the kids have nothing to apologize for — which I agree with. His point is that it was Gojo's responsibility to kill Yuuji. Essentially, the idea is that he was the adult, and in not doing that, he's responsible for the kids having to live with all the consequences of his actions.

Which aaaaah I'm losing it here! Yuuji was a victim of Kenjaku's machinations from the get-go, so would it have been right to kill him? Isn't this just a trolley problem — kill Yuuji and save innocent people's lives? But then, Yuuji, Sukuna and Kenjaku's actions led to the end of jujutsu society as we know it, more or less directly, which could lead to a better future, so was he actually right, in a purely consequentialist approach?

I don't think any of that is particularly interesting to discuss at this point tbh. I feel like that had already been dealt with. I'm just deeply confused as to why we're dealing with this when there were three chapters left before this one instead of focusing on closing the curtain on beloved characters, Gojo in particular.

Anyway! Bad chapter imo. Boring. Bad use of the characters and their relationships with one another. Really questionable use of time. Gojo was not mourned and in fact it's almost like he's never existed or never mattered to anyone. No Shoko here, not a hint of sadness from Yuta either, which I had hoped for.

I'm still looking forward to the last two chapters, and I hope they'll leave more room for the characters to, you know, have feelings.

[jemmo]

i was at work until half 8 today but it will still not stop me from quickly ranting about i hear the sunspot ep 9 bc again i this show never misses and never fails to make me cry. off the top of my head, i can’t think of any other bl that’s handled a subject matter so well, and not just that, but taken the time to devote a whole ep to that subject matter and used it to show individual character growth. with other bl’s, i would be getting so mad right around now that we’re not getting a lot of scenes of the main couple together and not focusing on the romantic plot, but here i’m not, and that’s bc not only is what they’re doing with the show instead still interesting in its own right, but it also still contributes to the romantic narrative of the story. i just think this show is so freakin well constructed bc it feels like a show that values its characters and stories more so than it values the bl-ness of it all. and that’s not to say it’s not a bl, it most certainly is, but it’s a bl that lets us care about its characters as people and not just half of a ship, and it makes us care about the subject matter it contains instead of just using it as a way to get a couple together. there is just so much value in taking time showing kohei bringing maya to the sign language club and including her and seeing her enjoy it and feel part of something where before she wanted to isolate her and kohei, and there’s so much value in seeing taichi speaking up for those that are hearing impaired and actually having an interesting and nuanced discussion about how the world deals with disability and seeing him want to work to make things better for these people.

and it’s interesting bc of what maya said, that a bull will turn when it finds its next target. bc it’s meant to be directed at taichi, but the same sentiment can be said for kohei, it could be said that both of them are turning, meaning both of them are lessening their focus on each other and expanding their own worlds, kohei with maya and the rest of the hearing compared community at the university, and now taichi, wanting to help the community at large instead of just a single person. and i really like that they are taking this turn bc it brings up a really interesting way through which to explore their relationship and exactly what they are to each other. bc they are the people that opened up the world to each other, and now that that world is open, they are exploring it… so what does that person mean to you exactly, what is the feeling you have, is it just gratefulness that they introduced you to something more than you had known before, or is that feeling actually more? both taichi and kohei have done amazing things for each other, they have helped each other to find happiness and purpose, it makes you wonder is it the world you now know that is special, or is it the person? and i know for them it is the person, i just really hope that the show is gonna go down the road of showing taichi and kohei realising that- that they don’t just value what they’ve done for each other, but they want each other as people. there are people that do wonderful things for you and there are wonderful people, and i think for taichi and kohei, what remains now is for them to see that even in this big wide world they now know, it’s still each other that are the most special people in it, and that they don’t want to explore that world without each other by their sides.

so yeah… something tells me there might be some heartbreak and sadness on the road to that realization, but it’s so gonna be worth it in the end.

[theoneprecioustome]

Old Interviews

A couple of years ago, I came across a compilation of interviews, including some that shared some very interesting info about Aigis' role in the game and the reasons why she didn't have a S-Link in the original Persona 3. I didn't trust my Japanese enough to capture all the nuance though, so the screenshots have been sitting in my folders collecting dust.

Well, no more! We now luckily have a professional Japanese translator in the Aikoto Server, and she has kindly gone ahead and translated the interviews in question. Thank you so much, kitaroai!

Interviews below the cut!

Dengeki PlayStation September 8, 2006 issue Vol.364 "Persona 3" Development Staff Interview

Dengeki PlayStation: I got the impression that Aigis was the main heroine of this work. What made you decide on having a robot girl as the game’s main heroine?

Tanaka (Writer): While I didn’t particularly set out to write her as one would a “main heroine”, we felt that a character who is unaffected by death was essential to a story with “Death” as its theme. In order to explore that theme, it was crucial to depict the process of an existence that starts-off not understanding the meaning of “death”, only to eventually come to face it and acknowledge it.

Soejima (Character Designer): When it comes “heroines”, the game has a system that allows you to date various girls… But personally, I feel that Yukari is a girl that is nearby, while Aigis is the heroine of the main story, or to be more exact, a character that is at the very core of it.

Dengeki PlayStation: So rather than a “heroine”, she could be considered another protagonist?

Hashino (Director): Yes… Aigis is special. She was necessary to depict the story we wanted to tell.

Dengeki PlayStation: I imagine that she is the only female character without a Social Link precisely because she is the one at the heart of the story.

Tanaka: Indeed. It wouldn’t be realistic to say that you can experience love with a robot partner in the exact same way you would with a human, but above all, we feared that giving her a Social Link would make her special role in the story seem less important.

Hashino: She was going to have a Social Link at first and we prepared the scenario for it, but we ultimately decided not to include it.

Dengeki PlayStation: And what about an ending that's influenced by the relationships built in the Social Links? For example, did you ever consider having character-exclusive endings?

Hashino: The staff discussed having character-exclusive endings depending on which Social Links the player did. However, we ultimately decided not to do so because it would take us away from the main story and from what we truly wanted to depict. The relationships with the girls reach their own conclusions in the daily school life section, which is separate from the main story.

Translation by: kitaroai

Material/Dengeki PlayStation July 28, 2006 issue Vol.359 "Persona 3" Interview with Katsura Hashino and Shigenori Soejima

Hashino: Aigis, on the other hand, is a character we added from the very beginning. Since she is a robot, she lacks “feelings”, so we wanted to contrast that with the Protagonist’s emotional side. She was also an indispensable character because she has no fear of “Death”, the main theme of this work.

Soejima: The setting of the story came before the concept, I believe. I remember I started drawing without knowing the story nor its stakes, which was a struggle.

Hashino: […] At first, Soejima seemed to be against the idea of a robot girl, but after convincing him that it was necessary precisely because Aigis is the heroine, it somehow worked out. Was that why you designed her with her machinery exposed?

Soejima: No, it’s not as if I drew her like that as a form of revenge (laughs). I just wanted her design to have more of a nostalgic vibe rather than a high-tech one. My tastes also played a part in it, though (laughs).

Translation by: kitaroai

Plus! One cute extra, this time translated by me:

Materials/Dengeki Maou September 2008 issue supplement “Persona 4” Katsura Hashino, Shigenori Soejima, Kazuhisa Wada Interview

[...]

Soejima (Character Designer): By the way, when it comes to Persona 3, I only worked directly on the one scene where we see Aigis for the first time during the trip to Yakushima.

Dengeki Maou: Do you mean that was the scene you were most particular about?

Soejima: Since that is the scene where we see Aigis for the first time, the Director, Hashino, asked me to make it as cute as possible (Laughs).

Translation by: @theoneprecioustome