#it's hard to explain how we usually feel about it when it's not flaring up really intensely

[lsc72]

Back To Love

In the North it’s always gone be cold shoulders and mean attitudes. That’s where they get it from, being in Chicago for 7 years. But now they back. You can’t be like that here, not in the South. Southern Hospitality speak way more than money ever did. Don’t get it twisted Smoke.

Now when I came to help with this juke everything was clear cut. No highways or byways in case anything happened or changed. I knew Smoke and Stack had that handled.

So when Peter John came up with 50 cent, 30 in dimes and 20 in plantation credits, I ain't know what to do. I wasn't sure how exactly if the twins woulda went for it. It was good for business cuz he'd of kept coming back, but sale wise them credits wasn't shit.

Thankfully Stack took over, but on the other side of the counter Smoke barked harsh as usual, Asking us to talk. When we gathered in the separate room he immediately went off.

"This ain't no house party and we damn sure ain't no charity. We taking cash, U.S. muhfuckin dollars." He roared with the clap of his hand.

"This ain't Chicago Smoke." Annie offered.

"The fuck that mean?" Smoke asked nose flaring. Up north it's icy, cold even, everybody wanting only money and less pleasantries. Down south everybody was kind to one another. Southern hospitality was always known about us. That's how we stay together.

Hell back in Annie's shack he'd said it himself up north was nothing but money and power. For seven years I guess you would get used to it being like that but home, Mississippi, wasn't the same.

"Them niggas worked they ass off for them wooden nickels. This 'sposed to feel like it's for them. Let them come here and enjoy themselves." Stack explained.

Looking at the bigger picture was what'll give them longevity but in Smoke's eyes it only brought them closer to a closing. Thinking about the money.

"They gotta feel wanted if you want this here to work." Annie spoke softly. He knew that just as well as they did.

"When you was selling ass out there in lil rock you let them pay with a damn promissory note?" Smoke countered knowing the scenario was still the same. That shit wouldn't fly!

"Hell nah!" Fuck this nigga thought, Stack started but Annie turned big eyed trying to get him back on topic. "See but I wasn't selling ass in the delta." He smiled easing up again. Again, it’s a different story for the North.

Smoke was irritated. Irritated with how the black community was cheated and costing them money. It wasn't right and it wasn't his problem. His focus was the money.

"I don't know hoodoo and I can't talk slick, but I know business and this is bad for business." His voice striking. He looked from his brother who nodded and shrugged and then to Annie who held a serious stare.

"It's opening night, ‘sides it's only gone be a few of em like this." Stack tried to ease the tension.

Smoke couldn't fight too much it was a joint decision to open up. They was 50/50. So he was gone let it slide tonight. But if it didn't go well the next time wasn't going for that.

A frustrated sigh was released from the tense twin. "I need a cigarette." He growled. Annie exhaled twiddling with her finger glad he wasn't to the point to set it off.

"Coming right up." The slick brother smiled. Finally cracking through that hard exterior and personality.

He'd have some rolled up on the side for his brother to have. Smoke couldn't do it with the tremor in his hands and didn't mind helping providing what'll help take the ease off.

"There you go." He handed over two cigarettes between his fingers. Smoke took both, placed one in his pocket and the other between his lips.

The click of Stack's lighter sounded as the small flame lit between em. Smoke leaned over holding the rolled cigarette to the flame and watched it curl up. The cherry of the tobacco a bright red and orange.

Annie looked between the two boys wondering if all the nonsense was finally finished. Her part was done and those plates wasn't gone sell themselves.

"Alright you two, ima gone back to the fish, if yall ont' need me here." She stated and walked behind Stack as he exited out himself.

She stepped aside to walk between the door and Smoke. He stood big, chest out with smoke flowing from his nostrils.

"Hol on'" his empty hand grabbed my arm and pulled me back to stand in front of him. His head tilted as his eyes squinted at me. He had a possessive hold on my forearm, like he was getting ready to personally scold me next.

"Yeah mon? What you need baby?" I gave him a sweet look. I know he needed a lil more to take the edge off. The chuckle that sat in the back of his throat made a slight appearance when he nodded his head.

His eyes low and dark, almost like stalking his prey. He moved slowly removing the cigarette after his last pull before putting it out against the door and placing it down on a lil table.

His other hand now sat occupied as it held my chin firmly. Analyzing, deciding what he wanted first. Keeping my eyes on him I watched his eyes flicker between my lips and back to my eyes.

I smiled knowing exactly what he wanted. My lips slightly parted waiting for him to say those words. To let me know what he needed right now.

"Give me some of that sweet shit." His voice spoke low. The vibrating tone going straight to my core.

My hands moved first, holding onto his torso, gripping his dress shirt tightly. The heat rose in my throat as I bit my lip holding in the squeal I wanted to release.

When he Finally m lowered his head and lifted my chin to meet him halfway, it was explosive. Giving me everything and then some. He took my bottom lip between his, moving closer in proximity. "Hmm" a soft expression broke free between us.

It was already hot in the juke but I was hotter for another reason. The smack of our lips as we pulled away but it was only for a second. Our lips met again. Tongue taking wager between our teeth as both of ours curled around each other.

The tobacco and vodka mixed freely as our saliva bind together. Spit transferring and sat on both our lips. My mouth opened wider to get more of him, I wanted it deep. It was like a potion as we gripped one another not being able to get enough.

His left hand gripped the back of my head pulling me in deeper and deeper as the other slinked down to hold my ass. I felt like I was melting into him, I wanted so much more.

"Damn Smoke..." I whispered cursing into the air with much fervor as he released me. I needed to catch my breath after that. My lips felt swollen from him sucking them strongly. I felt dizzy and shaky.

There was more than one heartbeat now. And this new one thumped with arousal in my bloomers. I felt the slick feeling dripping out of me and into the seat of em. How could he let me walk back out there after doing that to me.

"Gone handle that business for me." He finally allowed me to leave and go sell the fish to the juke. Getting to the threshold of the door a searing pain on my ass festered. This time the air was withdrawn from me gasping. My head lowered as I hissed from pain and pleasure.

My hands held onto the trim of the door. My feet stood solid in form now. "Pa you gone let me go do what I need for you?" I asked with a slight whine. I couldn't handle anymore teasing right now. The remnants of that sting pounded my entire body. Everything felt so shaky. My body been betraying all upkeep.

"I ain't stopping you Mrs. Moore." He challenged. I looked back over my shoulder to see his jacket removed and one hand sat utop of his bottoms. Almost like a trap he created, testing me.

He knew he had Annie, but still wanted to give her whatever to let it be known she was his forever. He needed her just as bad right now.

The jumping of my chest sprung as I looked at the party on the other side of the door. They all danced, not paying no mind. I wanted him, and i wanted him bad. That fish can wait.

"Come on so daddy can give you this load mama." He said surely. Knowing exactly what he’d caused he sat his hat behind him along with his suit jacket. The chattering of his belt had me gripping the door tighter. Then the whip of him snatching it out the belt loops made me look back again. Then I watched as he unzipped.

I huffed practically drooling as I watched him move. I needed him so bad but I knew there was no mercy when he got pent up frustration like this. My breath couldn't keep up when I turned around to him bringing my arms to my sides.

He didn't give me enough time to close the door before he was pulling the britches down. I rushed towards him after the door slammed and pulled his face to mine.

I hummed with the orchestration of our mouths together. Only time we parted was to breathe, but we found each other quickly again. The twirling of our tongues and the roughness of his beard sending bolts of pleasure into me.

He sucked and held my bottom lip between his lips and walked me back toward the table. My mouth agape as my breath grazed his lips. When my ass hit the table my hands gripped the edge as I pulled my mouth away. Smoke frowned.

The smooth jazz Slim played flowed through the walls. Canceling out the noise from our doing in the back. I felt that third leg against my torso and hummed hungrily. I was always taken back from the size of him. God took time carving him and I was forever thankful.

"Mmm papa, I need it." I whined breathless as he lifted me onto the wooden table. I took my tongue and dragged them up his lips trying to get every flavor he had to offer.

I wrapped myself around him and pulled his briefs down to spring that hot sword free. Taking him into my hand I moaned as he grunted off in my ear.

The hard rod filled my hand, then I rubbed from his hairy base to the tip and circled it slowly. The smooth skin and veins thumped under my palm as he stood ready and waiting.

"Annie, shit" he gasped hissing as I took over the scene. His hands gripped my hips tightly and my tongue lined around his ear. I nibbled from his earlobe down to his neck. I licked from his collarbone to his pulse point as he titled his head exposing the skin more.

"Come on daddy. Give it to me please." I begged into his ear softly. I pulled back to finally look into his eyes and he twitched slightly, my lip pulled between my teeth.

His swift hands moved under my dress and pushed my bloomers to the side. The rough pad of his finger pressed firmly against my clit and I lost all free will. He knew just how to snatch that power back and I let him.

I gasped before releasing staggered breaths as his fingers circled quickly around my clit. "Fuck Smoke!" I leaned back onto my hands to open up my legs more. Allowing him to get all I had to offer.

"Damn that shit wet baby." He spoke and inserted two fingers into my pussy. The stretching sting had me singing to the ceiling, head thrown back. It was so much going on from the pleasure Smoke was giving, to the wet squelching around his fingers, and the feel of his mouth on my neck.

"Daddy you gone make this pussy cream? It's waiting for you!" i needed to feel him inside me now. I was a whimpering mess. The slickness of his hair became scruffy at the nape of his neck. Where I held in my palm.

The fast pull of my hips startled me as I fell back onto my elbows. He pushed my dress up and held my left leg back against my stomach. His dick jumped as he came in contact with her wet center. It clapped against her clit and the noise that sprung from her shook him badly.

Smoke quickly pushed into her. The tight heat was good enough to make him bust right there. Annie jerked, her back arching up as her mouth hung open and moaned loudly. He would never get enough of this.

"Fuck me please!" She cried and pulled him deeper from his shirt in her fist. He craned over her and pulled her other leg over his shoulder as the other was held by his hand.

Finally getting his footing and sense he moved sensually. He exhaled cursing strongly how good it felt. Annie moaned like the air was removed from her lungs then gasped loudly.

The slow stroking drove Annie insane. He was teasing her something awful and this ain't what she needed. She got it slow earlier, now she need it fast and hard.

His head hung low staring as how he moved in her and pulled out slowly. He felt her trembling in his hands. The slow roll of his hips was just perfect. His eyes felt like lasers as he watched.

"Fuck Annie, yo pussy so good. Daddy giving it to you?" He bucked his leg up on a stool beside his feet. He rocked slightly faster. Chuckling as Annie tried to reply but couldn't regain focus.

"Y-yes Papaaa! You makin me feel so good!" Her moans grew an octave feeling him deep inside her. He was stealing her breath away. Barely could breathe but if she were to die like this she wouldn't even be mad. In the woes of passionate love.

He didn't give a fuck what was happening outside that door. Only fuck he was giving was to his woman and he ain't care how long it was gone take. He was gone show her how lucky he was to have her. She deserved it. After how he ain't seen her in 7 years, he hated himself for it being that long. But he needed her to feel just how sorry he was. He'd do everything to make it up to her.

His hands held the back of her thighs possessively and he pulled out. Annie gave protesting whimpers before she felt him bend down and his mouth latched onto her clit. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head as she laid back on the table. She didn’t have the strength anymore.

"Oh my God Smoke. What you doing to me?" She moaned and trembled. The intensity bloomed into her and she cried out. Her body twitching and jerking with every pass of his tongue. She exhaled and threw her head back biting her lip as a moan sang from her throat. Mouth forming the letter ‘O’.

She hummed deeply as he spit adding more wetness and pushed back into her harder. She would be nomore. She felt out of her mind. When he thrust faster she put one hand to the wall behind her just so her head wouldn't be bumping against it.

Smoke felt it. The flutter of her walls. Fuck he knew she was on the brink and he'd be a fool if he wasn't behind her.

"Look at me Annie." He commanded. Quickly I brought my eyes to see him staring straight into me.

His lip was tight between his teeth as he tried to hold on longer. He wasn't done just yet.

"Tell daddy what you want baby." The low frequency of his tone rumbled from his throat. He switched thrusting from fast to slow then fast again. Annie couldn't catch a grip. Fuck he was ruining her. All that anger she held before was long gone. After this she'd want to be at his becking call. He deserved it

"I want cum all on that dick pa!" Heavy breathing came from her. Her left hand sat on his stomach. It was too much. She didn't want it to end.

"Nah don't run from it. Take that shit mama." He ordered and pulled me by my hips lower. My hips now hanging off the table which gave me no leverage.

"Fuck baby! I need it so bad. Give it to me, please." I sat up and shifted to hold around his shoulder as my other hand held me up from the table. I felt myself teetering on the edge. I needed his big strong body to hold onto.

My thighs gripped his torso tight between them. That teetering special was coming up. It was tingling so good. I knew I would be a mess when it hit.

"You gone let papa give you that seed? You gone have my baby?" He asked and I shook my head vigorously. That was all I wanted with him. After losing the first and then him after I couldn't bare life without him. Without our family. I wanted it so much.

"Yes daddy I-i wanna have yo baby again. Fuck!" I practically rose onto him, clinging tightly. My arms wrapped around his neck and he held my ass and drive my hips up and down.

"Cum on daddy, baby. I'm right behind you." And that I did. My nails clawing into his back through his shirt. I bore down, stomach balled and I heard liquid rushing at his feet. I was squealing into his shoulder.

The piano outside could only cancel out so much. They'd definitely get the idea of our activities had I not covered my mouth.

"Shit you squirting baby, fuck I'm cumming!" He grunted giving long and deep strokes. Each one slow from base to tip as he stuffed me.

Finally he held my legs stagnant as we both tried to catch our breath. My eyesight slowly going back to normal. They were closed shut or rolling in the back of my head this whole time.

"Damn that was good." He huffed. He turned his neck to see my head still resting against his shoulder. So he walked back to the table and sat me down before rubbing my thighs.

"My goodness Smoke, the hell was that?" I leaned back and hissed from him pulling out of me. I surely missed him already and we wasn't even two steps away from each other.

"That was seven years worth of sorry. I ain't mean to stay away all them years. You my everything and I'm not going anywhere ever again. I gotchu. You forgive me?" He'd pull my chin to look at him. Holding eye contact precisely to see if I had any doubt in my eyes.

This was far from doubt. The tears stung as I felt a cry surging up my chest. God I hoped he knew how much I loved him. My man, my husband, Elijah.

"Yes I do Elijah. I love you so much." I hugged him tightly to distract the tears from falling down my face. His lips went to the side of my head in a kiss before he helped me off the table.

"I love you too, let's get back to this party." He'd straightened up and took my hand as we flowed into the crowd of people.

Lordyyyyy! Yall this was sprung off my head after watching the movie for the 6th time. I’m so obsessed. Apologies for any errors. It’s so hard to write for them because I just want it to be perfect. Please let me know how you all like this! 🫶🏽💕

[charlie-shmarlie]

▪︎Sweet & Low (David 8 x shy! fem reader)

-Super short little fic in which David finds a distracted Y/n humbly singing along to the tune in her head as she works in the repair shop.-

Song name: Lida Rose/Will I Ever Tell You?

Word count: 1,002

Warnings: none

I'm currently taking headcanon requests for David and Walter :)

____________🪐🎼♡

"Dream of now, dream of then..."

The Prometheus' assigned synthetic walked through the brightly lit corridors with purposeful strides, the soles of his sandals surprisingly silent against the floor. His hair, as usual, was styled to perfection; his clothes smoothed out and containing not a single wrinkle. The LED lights that lined the halls bounced off of his glassy, silver-blue pools, giving them an almost mirror like quality as they passed overhead.

​​​​​He was currently heading for a likely displeasurable meeting with Ms. Vickers,  who had called for him from her quarters not long ago. He was neither looking forward to it, nor dreading it.

"Dream of a love song that might have been..."

But it was only then when he stopped, coming to a complete hault seemingly out of nowhere. Somewhere, somebody was singing. Their voice gentle and sweet, a refreshing but surprising sound to hear in such a place. The muffled tune echoed quietly throughout, and David's system immediately recognized it as Will I Ever Tell You? Originally sung by Shirley Jones in the 1962 film adaptation of The Music Man. A timeless musical love story.

A sudden spark of curiosity flared within him, and he swiftly set off to find the source of the pleasant song. Yes, his little conference with Ms. Vickers would just have to be put on hold for longer than planned. She would be pissed, but her fury wasn't his main concern.

"Do I love you? Oh yes, I love you..."

After coming around a corner or two, it was then that he happened upon the ship's repair room; the place where everyone dropped off their faulty equipment or any other malfunctioning things to be fixed. The only light sources for the space were the ones pouring in from the open doorway, along with a single dim desk lamp that shone onto the surface of a table riddled with metallic parts and wires. David's eyes then landed upon a young woman who sat there, working hard at a flickering circuit board, her lips parted just slightly as that same familiar tune flowed out.

"And I'll bravely tell you, but only when we dream again..."

He took note of the way she sang the piece. Her voice was softer and not nearly as powerful as the original vocalist's, and the tempo was slower than it should be, which actually brought about a rather soothing melody. He stood still for some time studying her, his stoic expression unchanging. She was quite an attractive creature, he thought anyway; even though his programming prohibited him from feeling anything real towards people.

"Sweet and low, sweet and low..."

He stepped into the doorway, causing a tall shadow to fall over the mechanic's work from the side.

"Please, forgive my intrusion, Ms. L/n--"

"SHIT! Oh--dammit David, you scared me to death!" she breathed out, relieved that it was only him, yet at the same time, horrified that it was him.

"My apologies again, Ms. L/n," he smiled politely, unfazed by Y/n's violent reaction to his presence that had sent one of her tools clanging to the floor.

She sighed and bent down from her chair, swiftly picking it back up, "what's up? Need something fixed?" she questioned causally, her e/c eyes flickering back and forth from her project to him.

David stepped further inside and continued to observe her movements, "thank you, but I do believe all of my systems are in proper functioning order," he explained, "I rather came here following an impulsive curiosity upon hearing your voice."

"How sweet that memory from long ago..."

Y/n's cheeks heated up at the thought, and she kept her gaze locked on the work in front of her, silently cursing herself for being so careless.

David took note of her sudden awkward demeanor and quickly recognized it as one of the many symptoms of human embarrassment.

"Forgive my rash statement, but I found it to be quite pleasant. I haven't heard that tune in some time," he continued, hands clasped behind his back.

"Oh, thanks.." she muttered a little quieter, attempting to hold back a flattered smile, "it's always been one of my favorites."

The android nodded in understanding, "I was hoping you might be inclined to continue with it."

Y/n paused for a few seconds, unsure of how to respond. Such an odd request, especially coming from him, but where would the harm be in complying? It's not like she could get much more embarrassed..

Slowly, she took a shaky breath into her lungs.

"Forever? Oh yes, forever..."

The first few notes that fell from her lips were noticeably off due to her being nervous under David's unwavering, but not harsh, gaze. Although that feeling soon began to melt away and her voice progressively steadied itself. After some time, she resumed tinkering with the circuit board in her hands, an absentminded smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

David found his way to a second chair not far away and sat down to quietly admire the beautiful melody. It seemed even gentler yet this time, almost intimate; as if it was meant for him and him only. His eyes trailed over her features once more. A content expression appeared on his face as he listened intently, eventually closing his lids to fully appreciate this sense of peace that he didn't come by very often.

In time, Y/n noticed and softened at the sight. She didn't have the heart to do anything but keep going, even repeating the entire song a few times.

What a strange thing he was.

​​"Will I ever tell you? Oh, no..."

[imaginespazzi]

Nivi....how are you? You haven't said anything about the game. I think UConn fans on every app were rightfully crashing out. Would love to hear your thoughts when you feel up to it.

Hi lovie, I'm good just busy as per usual but I actually have not been crashing out as much as everyone else. Was it hard to watch? Yes but did I, despite all my cautious optimism, still sort of expect it? Also yes. Here are my thoughts:

Every single thing that we've seen this team do wrong, they did last night. How many times have we been harping on about our lack of 3-pt-defense? How many times have we called out the overhelping? How many times have we complained about a stagnant offense? Literally, all of that happened last night and honestly? I think they needed this loss. So far the team and coaching staff have been able to get away with this without any improvement because we've been winning in spite of this issues and they got complacent. Now they know for sure that they cannot win big games with these flaws, I expect to see this change in our next games.

I'm not sure why there's so much chatter about Paige when she wasn't the problem last night. By all means, she had a good game. The main issue I had with her was her lack of assists but that was team-wide problem because as I pointed out before: stagnant offense. She also did a really good job defensively with Sonia. Could she have played a better game? Statistically maybe not (well I guess she could have scored 40) but what I think Paige lacked, and the team in general lacked, was a spark of some sorts? I am not a proponent of she should force shots (and she took a fair amount of shots imo) but there was flare missing from this team last night and I was waiting for the leader of this team to inject something into them. And it never came and of course that's not all on her, but yeah that's the one thing she could have done better and there's no way to really explain how, just that I know she's done it before.

Actually before I got onto other plays let me talk about that a little bit more because everything else aside, WHERE WAS THE ENERGY? These people went into your house, on your alumni night and EMBARASSED the living fuck out of you on your court. You should be lived, you should wanna do the exact same thing to them and yet, it still seemed like ND wanted it more. And I think of everything I saw last night, that's what annoyed me the most. There was a certain laziness at some point, a lack of fire from everyone (that really showed up in rebounding) and it was in stark contrast to ND who just in simple terms, played like they wanted to win.

I would really love to congratulate KK and KC on what were solid offensive performances. However, it doesn't matter that they combined for 21 points, because I have since realized that they gave up 27 points, and that's only based on how many 3s they gave up so it very well could be more. Egregious work from two guards who are supposed to be our best defensive players.

Sarah looked a little bit like a freshman again but I will say, the couple of "energy" runs that we did have? Those were absolutely spearheaded by her but she just doesn't have the experience yet, where she can start them and then continue them. But it's games like this that will start to get here there and I'm excited to see her against ISU and USC.

Jana had the highest +/- on the team in the sense that she was +5 and she was a huge part of the run that lead us to cutting the lead to one so of course, OF COURSE, grandpa had to go ahead and bench. WHY WAS SHE ON THE BENCH FOR MOST OF THE FIRST HALF?? What was the gameplan? What was the reason? All of it pisses me off so much because why would you not play your tallest player when we were shit on rebounds????

Ice girl, I haven spent the last couple of week saying girlie was starting to look soid and first big game, she goes ahead and makes a liar of me because she was terrible last night. Why she was on the floor instead of Jana, I will never understand.

I have about as many good things to say about Ash as she had points last night. ZERO??? SERIOUSLY? For all KC and KK gave up on defense, at least there was something on offense but Ash gave us nothing. A complete non-factor if not a complete liability. The only right decision Geno made last night might have been benching her in the 4th. But I will say, some players, especially shooters, you needa run a play or two, to get them going. Just one play for her and on the off chance she hits it, you never what that could have done for her confidence and our chances.

Morgan deserved more minutes last night. Girl played nie minutes less and only had one less rebound than Ice. She had hustle and we needed hustle so bad but of course, of course grandpa would bench her.

If y'all haven't realized yet, my main gripe with last night is directed at Geno because I think he made every wrong decision her possibly could and quite frankly got outcoached like nobody's business by Niele Ivey.

Despite all of this, once again, I'll reinstate that I am not crashing out. Everything that went wrong is fixable and I do believe that this team can fix them. Especially because 2 of the biggest things that fucked us over will start to get fixed by two of our players coming back. Azzi will help with 3 pointers and Aubrey will help with defending them. Overall, this was a respectful loss to a good team in December. Championships are won in March. You lose and you learn and you keep on living.

[maybequinnidk]

I'm Good At Loving You (You're Good At Loving Me) pt. 2

part 1

(hurt/comfort i think. feedback is appreciated, i'm new to this)

Kara notices after that conversation at the Tower three weeks ago something started to change.

Lena stays over almost everyday, and they develop a domestic routine: sometimes they're lucky enough to spend some more minutes in bed before properly starting the day, just enjoying the other's company. Then they eat breakfast, wash the dishes, sweep the floor, take out the trash. After that they shower and get ready for the rest of their day. They have a late lunch with their team and go back to their respective tasks. By the time she goes back home Lena is usually there, if they didn't go together.

Kara's favorite part is the relief of coming home and finding Lena making dinner, or reading a book on the couch, or coming out of the shower, or- Kara's favorite part is Lena. And today she's...

Not here.

As if today wasn't awful enough already.

She came in through the window and falteringly made her way to the kitchen, leaning over the countertop.

She finds a note on top of it in Lena's handwriting "forgot my phone at the lab, portal watch is still broken :/ BRB "

Not even five minutes later her partner arrives. She barely opens the door and Kara envelopes her in a hug. Lena is quick to reciprocate despite the suddenness.

"Oh. Hi. I came back as fast as I could, are you okay?"

Today was a hectic day. She had to leave early in the morning and missed breakfast, the villain of the week was turning into villain of the month, she'd been running on nothing but a sandwich, a bag of chips and yellow star radiation for the past 12 hours, and to top it all off she solar flared. She used the last bit of her powers to fly home. She didn't break anything and didn't get sick, but still, everything hurts.

She shakes her head.

"Oh, darling. Let's go inside and talk about it?"

Kara doesn't want to talk though. She squeezes Lena tighter. She can do that now.

"Or we could go inside and not talk about it?" Lena knows her so well. "How about we get you out of this suit, and you take a nap while I worry about dinner. Does that sound good, honey?"

Lena knows her so well.

She loves Lena calling her "darling", but "honey" is on another level.

It's for when she's grieving Krypton, her family, her friends, her culture. For when she can't get out of bed after waking up five seperate times in the same night because the memories that come back as nightmares wouldn't give her a break. For when she couldn't save everyone from a fire or earthquake or alien attack. For when she's not even able to process and explain what's happening.

It's been a while since she needed it.

She nods.

She has no idea what time it is when she wakes up, all she knows is that it's cold, Lena is stroking her hair and the softness of her voice can be compared to the one of her hoodie and sweatpants.

"How are you? Did you sleep well, honey?"

Kara yawns and stretches. She does feel a little bit better so she nods.

The night's events blur together. She doesn't know if it's because of her exhaustion or the fact that this has happened so many times before — it's mundane, eating with Lena after a hard day.

She does remember what Lena said during dinner. "I talked to Alex and J'onn and they agreed that we all need a break, so Nia suggested a game night sometime soon."

She also remembers when she was able to voice her thoughts for the first time since she got home.

She had just gone to bed, her face buried in the pillow, as Lena was petting her hair.

"Honey, are you feeling better?"

She nods and turns to her left so she can see Lena. "Thank you for this."

"I'm glad I was able to help."

"You always are."

Kara grabs Lena's other hand and brings it to her lips, peppering her with kisses, maintaining eye contact. She wants to be closer, though.

Lena reads her mind again. She lifts up the blanket as an invitation to get closer, which Kara accepts.

Kara settles her body between Lena's legs and rests her head on her chest. Featherlight fingers caressing her back, the subtle rise and fall of Lena's breathing. It's grounding.

"I love you." she breaks the silence.

> > > × < < <

Kara has said that a lot in the past couple of weeks. Mostly when they're in private, or when she's about to go on field.

She had been so anxious about this. Terrified to trust that Kara wasn't manipulating nor leaving her.

But seeing the way Kara looks at her – like the first time they woke up together, or shared clothes; with an unmistakable fondness in her eyes, a light blush on her face and a smile on her lips – she knows she means it.

Most of the time, Lena responds with physical affection, a soft "I know", a concerned "stay safe", an "ily" text; sometimes she didn't respond at all, still not completely used to it. This is not any of those times.

"I love you too." She barely thinks about it, it's always on her mind. Such a frequent thought it became an easy action. Natural. Familiar. Known.

"I know, baby." Kara plays with the collar of Lena's shirt, traces her neck and jaw.

She never liked being called "baby" by her exes. It was uncomfortable, infantilizing and just felt wrong.

There was only one person who made it tolerable: Jack. But even then he didn't use it all the time. He preferred "darling" and so did she.

The first time Kara used that pet name, it came as a suprise that it didn't bother her. It was two, maybe three weeks into this new aspect of their relationship.

"You're so wonderful, baby, so stunning." Kara could probably listen to her pulse rushing and see her face flushing which only made her blush even more.

In the past she would have said something like "I know you're trying to be cute but I really don't like that word", instead she said nothing because her brain had given up on her.

The reason she likes it so much now is probably because it's always accompanied with compliments and reassurance.

"I'm so proud of you." proud. Lena lets out a short laugh and smiles shyly.

"Darling, you're doing it again..."

"Doing what?"

"Comforting me when you're the one who needs it."

"I told you." she finds a way to get even closer, kisses her cheek and says "It helps."

Although she doesn't fully understands how that works, she does see how it affects Kara when she starts to relax.

> > > × < < <

She eventually falls asleep.

With Lena's hearbeat at the perfect volume on her ears; audible but not overwhelmingly loud.

The words "I love you too" echoing in her mind; can words be addictive?

The hope that tomorrow won't be worse than today; may Rao help her.

She eventually falls asleep.

[serahadmoni]

Spoilers below the cut through EOB Heat of the Everflame. This is not my essay about Luther, but an observation of a specific plot point that will likely make landfall around the midpoint of Burn.

So, Luther and Diem are already mated.

Eleanor helpfully addresses the ritual when she’s explaining mates to Diem at Taran’s behest in Chapter 17 of Glow.

“How do you know if your love for someone is true enough to be mated?” I asked.

Oh, the rite is very simple,” Eleanor chirped. “You shed a little blood, commit to them forever... if the love is worthy, the magic does the rest.”

Given the simplicity of the ritual, I hypothesize that Luther’s side of the bond manifests here, near the end of Heat Chapter 73 right before they’re interrupted by Dorial’s attendants to leave for the docks.

His mouth opened, but no words came out. I smiled. I knew that feeling well.

“It doesn’t have to be anything fancy. Maybe something small, or maybe...” My cheeks warmed. “Something we could grow into someday. As a family.”

For a long time, Luther was still.

Then his knuckles went white. His hand slipped off the apple, sending his knife slicing across his chest. A line of red formed on his sweater.

Then

He stared at me, lips parted, face bloodless. His eyes were aglow, but not with his usual Lumnos light. Something warmer.

And

Luther looked dazed, hand gripping his chest. I frowned. “Are you alright?” He nodded stiffly. Slowly, he rose to join me.

This would be the flare of his mating mark taking root.

For Diem, the bond snaps into place in the final moments of the book, here:

And Luther was alive. The future we’d planned was not yet lost—its flame still glowed, lost in the shadows but burning strong. I had committed myself to him, to us, and now that I knew he was out there fighting to get to me, I would fight just as hard to find my way back to him.

And when I did, I’d tell him everything. I’d tell him that I was his and he was mine, now and always. I would tell him I wanted to be bound with him forever, in whatever life we could make in this world, and in eternity thereafter.

The very first chance I got, I would offer up my blood and tell him I was ready to be his ma—

Then

My chin dipped as my gaze fell to my body, where the bloody point of a long, glittering black blade had erupted from my flesh. Straight through the center of my heart.

And

Death was supposed to be cold, wasn’t it? Lonely. One’s life flashing before their eyes, perhaps last-minute regrets of loves lost or choices made.

But this felt... warm.

Painful, yes. Searing agony splintered through every nerve. My heart felt like it was being shredded in half—which, by the slowing throb in my chest, it probably was.

But there was an unexpected pleasure in it, too. A peculiar rightness. A feeling like I’d just gained something I desperately wanted.

Then, the throbbing stopped, replaced by a strange kind of calm. A comforting, eternal peace.

And then this tragic bit of information given Luther and Diem’s situation at the end of Heat. Perhaps the Crowns will honor their mating bond, but I wouldn’t hold my breath.

“Being mated isn’t just a relationship,” Taran said, his expression equally aglow. “It changes you physically. Your bodies become two halves of a whole. If you’re away from your mate for too long, you get ill and your magic weakens. They say you can even die from it.”

[harmlessghosty]

Hi, Ghosty. I've been wondering if you can do demon brothers with mc that is insecure with their eczema 👉👈

As someone who grew up with (granted, mild) eczema, I feel this in my soul. Even with a little, it can be embarrassing and unbearable, so I can imagine how hard it is with more. Hugs, because it absolutely sucks, and sometimes there’s SO little you can do about it. I usually treat it with creams, but I’m sure everyone varies.

I’ll preface this with the very clear statement that the Obey Me characters do not care what you look like, as long as you’re comfortable and happy. Being insecure of your appearance means you aren’t comfortable and happy, and they’ll each do whatever it takes to change that into something that empowers you, or at the very least helps you feel better in your skin.

—

Lucifer

More often than not would notice early on that you’re self-conscious of your appearance. Long sleeves? Pants? Turtlenecks? All in summer weather? How unusual, and you even seem to be sweating uncomfortably.

At first suggests gently that you should dress for the weather until he realizes that something more must be happening for you to behave so unusually. He asks directly what the problem is, and you decide to tell him—but only in absolute privacy.

Nods in understanding. You don’t want people to see your skin, and he relates to that. After all, the scars from his fall are…

Well, we don’t talk about the scars. All you need to know is that he understands.

Offers to help you find creams, spells or other treatments to settle flare-ups. Lessens your stress so that it doesn’t get worse. Offers his office and bedroom for you to lounge in without covering yourself—whether he’s there with you or not. If he is there with you, he treats you as he would normally—respectful and calm, without acknowledging the rashes unless you want to talk about them.

Mammon

What do you mean you’re not burning up in that get-up? C’mon, take off that sweater. It’s a million degrees and you’re making him feel like he’s sweating!

You agree on the condition that he doesn’t tell anyone and that he doesn’t laugh or make a comment. After all, he won’t shut up forever if you don’t let him see what the problem is.

Oh. Ohh, that explains it.

Tries hard not to stare because ouch, that looks painful. He’s gotten his fair share of rashes and wounds from…Well, being an idiot with spellcraft. But that just means he has tons of sympathy for your condition.

Offers for you to use any of his special, expensive products as you want. He even goes out of his way to find things that’ll settle the flare-ups, even if that means spending more money. “Forget about it. Ya made me itchy, so start usin’ it before I go crazy.”

Doesn’t shy away from physical contact, and doesn’t treat you like you’re a pariah. If you suddenly feel anxious without covering your body, he offers his jacket to lay across your lap or cover your arms or neck. It’s the least he can do, and you look kind of cute with his clothes on. Just make sure ya give it back, and it better smell like those lotions he’s lettin’ you use!

Levi

It’s okay. He looks weird too, especially when he’s in his demon form. I mean, have you seen all his scales? They’re super itchy too when they shed off, and he’s got a mess on his hands making sure they’re cleaned up and not giving him even more skin problems and you must think it’s so weird and inappropriate that he’s comparing his stupid problem to your totally valid one and—

You hush him up quickly, but somehow, his anxiety helps you feel somewhat better?

He sighs and covers his reddened face. “I-I mean, I don’t know if it’ll work on humans, b-but I have…ideas of what works for me.”

Totally understands the social aspect of wanting to cover up or not go out, especially when your eczema is worse than usual or in an obvious spot. Always keeps his door unlocked for you to come and go as you please, and tries extra hard not to stare at your rashes when you’re there. It’s not that he’s judging you, but they just look so painful, and he wants to help so badly…

Absolutely offers to distract you in any way possible. If that means he has to t-touch you to rub on creams, or he just listens to you complain and offers his room as a place of comfort, then he really hopes you take him up on it. He even researches and buys tons of stuff online to try and help, though maybe you’ve tried it all. It’s the thought that counts, right? Right? Tell him he did good.

Satan

“Oh? I’m not familiar with that, but it looks uncomfortable. No wonder you’re insecure about it.”

While it doesn’t help you feel better at all, you respect his ability to be pragmatic, realistic and honest about your eczema. Yes, it’s painful and itchy and really obvious, but did he have to say the quiet part out loud?

So he researches. And he researches. And he asks questions that make no sense, some that do make sense, and others that even researches in the human world probably never thought of. And in the end, he comes up with a game plan that’s…not really what you wanted, but you appreciate the thought behind it.

Maybe you’ll take him up on the offer, or maybe you won’t. It’s totally your decision, but the door is always open. He’ll make all the potions and spells you could ever want to try if it means you’re more comfortable with yourself.

He’s a bit pushy on asking about it sometimes. He wants to help, but he’s not always sure how he can, so he needs a little direction. Once you tell him that you need a place to rest, or some lighter clothes to cover up, or maybe just someone to complain to, he’s always there to listen and offer a shoulder to lean on or a lap to rest on. Please, take advantage of it. It’s the least he can do.

Asmo

Very quickly notices your outfits are too uncomfortable for the weather and the season. “Darling, you really must dress with the times! You know that long sleeves should be reserved for after September, and you shouldn’t be wearing those pants when they don’t flatter your figure hardly at all, and—“

Will literally pull a jacket off of your shoulders. Try him. He’s trying to be helpful and playful, but he doesn’t realize you’re insecure because of your eczema until it’s too late.

Is confused. He doesn’t have a comparable idea for what that is in Devildom. He doesn’t have creams or treatments for anything like that,, but damn it, he’s going to find something that helps you feel better.

If you’re going out, he offers to help cover it up with makeup or a light shawl that matches your skin well enough to hide. If that upsets your skin and you don’t want to go out, he plans an elaborate indoor date and makes sure that the brothers aren’t home to ruin it. Trust him; they won’t be anywhere nearby. Don’t ask how he managed that, love.

Will give you all the oatmeal baths he can possibly offer. Maybe they help, maybe they don’t, but it does give him an excuse to see you au natural or in a bathing suit, and that’s something to appreciate, isn’t it?

Beel

His first concern is that you’re allergic to something you ate. He’s heard of people breaking out in hives for allergies, and he’s worried. It doesn’t look good, and he’s pretty sure that humans can’t have reactions like that without getting sick, and—

When you explain to him that it’s something you’re basically born to suffer, he nods in understanding. So it’s like a battle scar, he thinks, because that’s about the only comparison he can make. Maybe it’s even like a sweat rash; he gets those on occasion if he doesn’t take care of himself after exercising, so he gets it.

Lets you wear his oversized clothes to help cover up. If you’re in public, he’s absolutely not above stripping shirtless so that you can cover up, or even carrying you around so that no one can notice your eczema but rather look at you for being carried. Hey, at least they won’t notice the thing you’re worried about.

Tries to find foods that would help inflammation and will offer them to you on a regular basis. It’s something he knows will help in the long run, though it’s not exactly the most quickly helpful.

The best at making sure any creams you use are rubbed in perfectly. Have eczema anywhere on your body? He notices it quickly and offers to help cover it right away, whether with clothes or a treatment. Whatever makes you comfortable.

Belphie

Doesn’t care about the rash at all beyond a simple, “What’s that? Oh, okay.”

Secretly wonders if he can do anything to help. Is honestly a bit worried to touch you when you cuddle because he doesn’t want to irritate your skin further.

If you’re nervous about napping with him, don’t be, because he really doesn’t mind how you look as long as your shoulder or lap is available to him. It makes you feel good to be needed by him, doesn’t it? Then accept his generosity.

Really tries to listen to you talk about it, but he just…keeps thinking about ways to help. He’s smart; it shouldn’t be hard to come up with something that works, but surely you’ve been trying to work with it for years. In the end, he defaults to whatever you want, and does whatever he can to listen to what you need from him.

Constantly reassures you that the appearance doesn’t matter to him, as long as you’re cozy in his arms.

[albatrossdeveloper]

XOXO Accessibility: My Experience Attending

All right, this is what I do, and for once I'm actually excited to do it?? 

I went into XOXO jaded as hell. I have every right and every reason to be. Access is both easy and hard, complicated and simple. An event can do everything within its power to create accessibility, but if your crowd is full of people who block the ramps and stand in front of people sitting in rollators, disabled people will still be kept from enjoying themselves, and be forced to put on a brave face for it. XOXO was the rare kind of thing where I left uplifted, and thinking maybe there is a future for people with physical and cognitive disabilities to be allowed to participate in the larger community of artists. 

Every talk had CART. It wasn't perfect, the outdoor tent had them stage-right in the front, so they couldn't see the slides which showed some of the more difficult words people were using, but holy shit they had CART at every talk. This shouldn't be an issue like it is, but it creates access for everyone; not just deaf and HOH individuals, but people who have sensory processing disorders and just able bodied and minded people who missed a word or two. The events at the mainstage had the CART done from the back it seems, and I noticed it was much more accurate. 

As for the comfort level at the events, guys, I did fucking floor time. I was flaring pretty bad those two days, the chairs weren't incredibly comfortable, and I wanted to change positions. So I sat on the floor, which is already rare for me to feel that confidence, and a volunteer asked if I needed anything like a chair, and when I started explaining just thumbs-upped me and walked away. I was astounded, usually I have to explain myself, but they just went on "I don't have to understand I'm just here to help" style and did their job without making me feel weird. Genuinely, that was probably my most uplifting moment of the event, stopping dead in my tracks of an explanation I shouldn't feel the need to give in the first place, feeling safer than I've felt to just be a little autistic weirdo who needs floor time than I probably ever have. I go to chronic pain support groups regularly where people will look at me funny for sitting on the floor. The fact that in support groups I get more side-eyeing than I did at XOXO just speaks to the atmosphere they cultivated that we're allowed to truly come as we are. I've had so many iterations of this experience, all well-intended usually, but this is by far the most comfortable I have ever felt. 

I'm the kind of sensitive person who gets caught up in this minutiae. I noticed every single cable was well covered with an accessible ramp that would have passed seattle's legal qualifications for how we have to cover our EV chargers as to not trip people on sidewalks, and the ramps were always immediately made clear for me when people without mobility aids were crowding them as soon as I came into view with one. Everyone who I interacted with did literally everything within their power to help me deal with my very severe grass allergy. This always bothers me at conferences, and at GDC I was running on 4 benadryl at a time multiple doses per day because yerba buena is like swimming in histamines for me. I didn't have to take any benadryl until the last day when I went to a Slack organized meetup in a park, and I hadn't brought my rollator and was given a chair to sit in so I could continue participating in the conversation. At no point did anyone stand in front of me excluding me from the group, this happens often when I'm sitting in a rollator, I was always a welcome member of groups and circles of conversations. 

There was one big issue that happened, and everyone who marked ourselves as having access needs were emailed about it the day before. They usually have tiling on top of the grass, to make the terrain easier to navigate. It was BUMPY as hell, and I definitely struggled to navigate it. This was the biggest access hangup I hit, but I was notified it would happen in advance, and it was made clear to me that one of the main organizers was absolutely scrambling to try and make it right. When I asked if there were any plans to mitigate it, I was told options had been exhausted and was actually offered a full refund of my pass. I had an incredible experience, and I don't feel like it impacted me enough to make that necessary, but I cannot stress how fucking rare it is for people to literally put their money where their mouth is on these issues. Everyone who is disabled and/or using mobility aids I talked to was definitely struggling with it, and anyone who was there and dealing with it in some capacity please feel free to comment your experiences below, as mine isn't enough to give a full picture. My fellow attendees did everything they could to make it easier for me to navigate, and even the food vendors helped me make sure everything I bought was something I could move from their space to the tables in or on my rollator without sauces going flying. 

Covid measures are their own thing, and this event had some great policies in place. NUMEROUS types of masks were available, and I'm finding myself wishing I'd taken pictures of all the different types available. This is just a summary of my experience, and I’m so happy it was so positive. I left this conference feeling artistically fed and uplifted, which is a genuine first for me. Thank you to everyone involved in organizing for your hard work! 

[disasterofastory]

The pretty little actress of Rogers - Part 12 (Steve Rogers x Reader)

The pretty little actress of Rogers Part 12 - The right path // The pretty little actress of Rogers Masterlist Steve Rogers x Reader Mafia AU Warnings: none

Summary: You are ready to start your new life on the path you chose.

A/N: Hey guys! Steve's story ends with this chapter. I hope you enjoyed it. As usual, looking back, there are a bunch of things I would do differently, especially since this series and Bucky's story are a mafia au, but there is not much about mafia in it. But still, I hope you enjoyed it!

Are you here? Steve is at the bar.

Thanks, I'll go and find him.

Good luck.

After Leila's last message, you slide your phone back into your bag on your shoulder.

The new nightclub is crowded and loud. You barely have space to press yourself through the people to reach the long counter with black marble and bright lights. Your fingers are tight around the strap of your bag the whole time. The mixture of alcohol, perfumes, and sweat is heavy in the stuffy air.

You recognize Steve's broad back immediately. The expensive fabric of his suit stretches on his muscles as he leans over the counter to say something to one of the bartenders. His words get swallowed by the rumbling music.

Heat flares up in your body as you watch him for long seconds. He is just as handsome as ever, and you can't understand how you willed yourself to stay away for almost a month. Except for a few short messages, you let yourself be alone to clear your mind. It wasn't easy, but you needed it.

You can feel your heart beating in your throat as you get closer. Your eyes never leave Steve's form at the bar, getting his drink with a quick nod as a thank you. His gaze is on the shelves of drinks in front of him. He doesn't even react when you reach him. Your front almost presses to his side because of the small space you have. Biting your lip, you let your hand fall on his shoulder. His muscles jerk at the sudden contact. Before he can do anything, you lean closer. "Can I get you another one?" His head snaps your way, eyes wide and shocked. His back straightens. A few drops of whiskey glint on his plump lips in the vibration of colorful lights. "Hey," you greet him with a weak, fearful smile. "You are here," he says the obvious. "I am," you nod. "I hope it's okay." Steve has to shake off the daze he fell into when you appeared next to him. He jumps up from his chair, hugging you tightly against himself with one arm. "Of course, it's okay," he replies. "I'm really happy to see you." "Can we talk somewhere?" You ask him, forcing yourself to back away so you can look at him. His presence is familiar and comforting, and you find it hard to break away from it. The musky scent of his cologne brings you comfort, and his arm around your waist means safety. "Yeah," he replies. "Come."

Steve leads you through the crowd, always holding onto you somewhere. Your hand. Your waist. "It's empty," Steve explains before opening the VIP room for you. "The others are somewhere around the club."

"And how are you?" You ask Steve after he gives you a drink, and you sit down on the couch, watching down at the dancing crowd. "I'm fine," he replies curtly. "I was busy with work." He had to keep his mind away from you to keep his sanity. Steve missed you more and more with each passing day, and not knowing what goes on in your mind made everything worse. "I'm sorry I didn't come to find you sooner," you tell him. "I know it was not fair of me." "It was hard," Steve nods before continuing to ease your guilt. "But I understand. Your marriage just ended, and you needed time." "Yes," you agree. "And I needed time to think." "And?" Steve asks, drinking from his whiskey to hide his nervousness. You being here doesn't mean anything. Maybe you wanted to be fair and end things with him, too, face to face. Maybe you are here to tell him you want to move back to your city, leaving him behind. After a deep breath, you tell him honestly why you are here with him. "I want to continue whatever is between us. I really missed you, and I want to see where this leads us. I mean, if you want it too. I understand if you don't."

Before you can start to worry about his silence, he grabs your arm easily, pulling you onto his lap. Your legs are on the couch as he cups your cheeks to turn your head for a heated kiss. His tongue brushes over your bottom lip, nibbling on the soft flesh before entering your mouth when a trembling breath escapes from your chest. "I missed you," he exhales over your swollen lips. His arms are still around you, caging you to his hard chest. "I thought I would go crazy without you." "I really missed you too," you reply, cupping his face with one hand as you stare at him lovingly. His clear blue eyes shine brightly in the dim lights of the VIP room.

You know you chose the right path. Your marriage with Kent wasn't a mistake, and you always think of him with happiness and love in your heart, but your future is with Steve. You want nobody else.

"Get in before they start to fuck!" Sam's voice is muffled through the door, and soon, it bursts open with Steve's friends behind it.

Steve doesn't let you go the whole night, keeping you tight against him to kiss you every few minutes.

[thelastwhimzy]

hiii friends. update timeee!

so, i am still at the hospital - pretty sure they might actually keep me for a bit, lol. since this bacteria is resistant so much and im unable to take any of the antibiotics that treat it, they're waiting on a second clean-catch culture just to be sure there are no other options.

if there DOES end up being another option, that would be great, but if it doesn't (more likely) i will probably end up on an antibiotic that typically causes me a severe mcas reaction and, presumably, stay here under observation with premedication (benadryl and methylprednisolone) throughout the course of iv treatment. culture should come in a day or two so we're really just waiting on that!

i also want to talk about how amazing this admission has been so far. i am currently battling a pretty irrational fear that the culture will just not grow ANYTHING this time (even though it hasnt been treated yet and my stoma looks TERRIBLE lol) and that this admission will end up the same way as they all have, but im trying to stay optimistic

everyone here is so sweet - my hospitalist is amazing and knowledgeable and allows me to explain what i know about the situation and infectious disease is similarly collaborative which is very nice because usually doctors are threatened by my knowledge of my body and medicine in general, lol. when i spoke to my hospitalist today, she told me that im the the sweetest patient that she's ever had and that people like me make her job worth it which was just so nice to hear 🥹 the nurses are absolutely amazing too and its such a relief to have the id doctor take my input into consideration

im still very anxious right now - keep jumping at footsteps and noises near my door and my cleanliness ocd is in overdrive so im struggling a bit with excessive handwashing and having a hard time engaging in my usual hobbies but im doing alright otherwise! just feeling very emotionally vulnerable, i think

i also appear to finally be coming out of my gi flare! not sure why, but swallowing has been a lot easier, feels more just kind of hard instead of almost impossible, and i am finally on track again with my bowel regimen so i my nausea has been a lot better too! i always become the hungry caterpillar at the end of a flare and they give you so so many food options at the hospital so i definitely overdid it today and ended up needing iv zofran 😂 live and learn lmao

but yeah! hoping the culture results come in tomorrow and that we can get this infection under control :) feeling okayish all things considered so that's nice but i think thats more the continuous fluids, an increased ability to eat, and improved med schedules than managing the infection atm - not on any antibiotics yet to prevent resistance :)

[moonbreeze19]

we were too close to the stars i never knew somebody like you, somebody falling just as hard - reflections

alarin tumblr debut?? for tsme week?? i think so i think yes! u can consider this a late day 6 post or day 7 i suppose, whatever u prefer!

(in summary: my oc, rin, and alain, have lived in my head rent free for 3 years now. they mean the world to me. i love them. to me, they are THE it couple <3)

details/about them below the break

rin yukino is a hyper competitive trainer with a (shiny) mega gardevoir, goal focused and independent to the point of flaw. born and raised in kalos, but with family from sinnoh, she had spent much of her childhood fitting into her parent's mold for a perfect daughter. she was a straight-a student, principal violinist, preparing to attend a top university - at 18, she realized that wasn't who she wanted to be anymore. she became a pokemon trainer instead.

(somewhat unimportantly, her usual trainer design consists of teal highlights in her hair, orange earrings shaped like the heart that goes through a mega gardevoir's chest, and a lot of black and gray. she matches diva, her gardevoir, like alain matches his charizard. they're both extra like that.)

she meets alain viard when they're both 22, shortly after the events of TSME act 4. she's on the gym challenge, and he's... alain. they battle, and he wins. twice in a row. then they go from rivals to rivals with benefits, then maybe even friends if they weren't both so emotionally reclusive i mean haha what-

alarin, aka rin "i'm stronger on my own" yukino and alain "i only destroy those around me" viard

even if he's won both times, alain can't help but be attracted one of the few people who can keep up with him, who cares about winning nearly as much as he does, who treats pokemon battling like it's all she has. he knows the feeling. he thinks she might understand him.

she's half of the reason behind both his decision to fill out his team beyond charizard and his decision to challenge the gyms

when they fall apart, just a month before the team flare crisis, i like to think of them like a supernova. short lived but bright and brilliant. doomed from the start.

the details of their falling out are complicated, so we'd be here all day if i tried to explain.

rin fails to stand by him during the fight against lysandre. she doesn't have the courage to. but she does, however, find him in the aftermath. she helps him heal and pick up the broken pieces. that's where 99% of their relationship really comes from.

i filter them into the category titled "couples written by taylor swift's the great war" and if you know you know

because it's important to me, rin gets along great with mairin.

at first she's a bit annoyed by her over-enthusiasm. rin is cold, blunt, realistic, and introverted, mairin is the opposite of all of those things. but once she sees how much mairin means to alain she does a full 180

and mairin's only ever had older brothers (both in her biological family and in alain), so having rin around to show her how to do her hair, her makeup, AND annoy the hell out of alain when appropriate is her favorite thing ever.

they are very good at bullying alain into taking care of himself (because he is very bad at that, as we all know.)

eventually, rin will go on to become one of the kalos elite four, after malva gets arrested (for being Very Fucking Evil).

one of my favorite things ever to think about is how the random internet people would claim "rin is only with alain to try and get famous" (and also make lengthy twitter/x callout threads on how alain is a problematic person because of his team flare involvement, and therefore decently-well-known league challenger rin yukino is also problematic by proxy), only for alain to generally avoid the public spotlight (there are lots of headcanons here. in short, he goes to university) and rin to be hired as elite four. and then she becomes far more famous as a result. and then the internet trolls are like "...oh." and a majority of the general population doesn't even know she and alain are a thing, because it's only obvious if you scrolled intensely through her instagram account.

i don't know why alarin getting stupid hate threads on twitter/x is the funniest thing to me but it really, really is!!

the internet is convinced alarin is a manipulative ploy on rin's end and one day she reads one of the twitter threads making all these claims about what she's done and she just goes "bitch i did what" and finds it absolutely hilarious

ANYWAYS that is all for now!! this post is so long and this is barely scratching the surface?? they mean so much to me i'm so sorry 😭😭

if literally anybody ever wants to hear about them i will share more. i would cry happy tears.

thank you so much for reading this if you did!! i'm so glad i got to share them for tsme week!

[olskuvallanpoe]

Skipping Stones

There are rocks beneath my skin, buried within my muscles.

Boulders. Like when you eat something but don’t chew it enough so it sinks like a stone through your esophagus.

These are other places, though. My calves, the middle of my back.

I’m skipping my painting class today because they settle painfully against the wooden bench I have to sit on.

Well, I’m not skipping class, not really. I’m told that missing class due to chronic pain flaring up is a valid excuse.

I’m still not completely sure I believe that—

Or maybe I’m completely sure that I don’t know if I believe it. What’s the difference, really?

Is there any merit to naming the way my chest tightens when the clock strikes the time I would have otherwise left my room?

Once, my brain was really muddled.

(My mother and I refer to this as “pain brain,” and we first noticed it when I couldn’t tell the difference between left and right while directing her through Google Maps. It’s when I’m in so much pain that my brain stops working the way it usually does. I forget things, and everything gets jumbled, even the way I talk.)

I had a class on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays that started at nine-fifteen. I had another class on Tuesdays and Thursdays that started at nine-fifty.

I left my dorm on either a Monday, a Wednesday, or a Friday—I only know it was one of those days because of which class I was going to that day.

I got to the classroom at some time suspiciously before eight-fifty (or maybe it was eight-fifty, itself?) and the room was dark.

I checked the time on my cell phone and then had the realization that I must have gotten the time wrong. The class must have started at nine-fifty, not nine-fifteen, since no one was anywhere near the room.

To make a long story short: I ended up missing class and sending a frantic email to my professor, trying to explain the foggy way my brain had dealt with the dates and the times.

It was like I’d put the two times in identical bags, completely wiping the dates from my mind. My muscles told me to go at nine-fifteen, but I didn’t choose that bag to pull from. I pulled nine-fifty instead.

But how do I explain that to a professor without sounding like I need to be institutionalized?

My loved ones worry about me a lot because apparently I push myself too hard.

Sometimes I agree, but sometimes I just feel lazy. Sometimes I feel like other people feel like I’m lazy, and that’s one of the biggest fears of mine.

My disability is rather invisible, and this was even worse before I started using a cane.

I always feel like people assume I’m lying or exaggerating.

Sometimes I even agree with them. Often, I agree with them, actually.

Like when I miss class because of the rocks in my calf muscles but don’t know how to explain it beyond a my chronic pain is flaring up and two or three sorry for the inconveniences to assuage my guilt.

I’m dreadful at describing pain. To doctors, especially.

Like—how am I supposed to know what a stabbing pain is when I’ve never been stabbed?

Is it a bone pain? Dude, how am I supposed to know? For all I know it could be a blood pain.

I don’t really trust medical professionals anyways.

I’ve met maybe one in my life who actually listened to me.

I don’t know how much more of this class I can afford to miss.

[justjessame]

Rules Worth Breaking: Chapter 4

AMAYA MCCALL

I’d never wanted to slap someone so badly in my life while simultaneously wanting to grab them and - I’m going to blame Derek Hale for what I did after he threw down the very idea that I was with Stiles because he was the safe option.

My hands fisted the leather at the collar of his jacket, using it as leverage to get my mouth on his, and since his hands were out of his pockets and lifting me by my hips so my legs could wrap around his waist I took it as his consent for me to place every ounce of blame on his doorstep for our mouths colliding with a growl and a moan.  Teeth, tongue, and noises that made our being out in the middle of nowhere anyone would willingly or randomly come across filled every sense that I had.  

Derek Hale was hot, that isn’t a pun or a play on how attractive he is - he was literally like touching and tasting an open flame. Consuming and flaring every inch of my body into an inferno that - had I had a hint of my usual wit and cleverness - might have made me fear for the state of what was left of his house.  

My back was against something - a wall or the stairs, maybe even the door we’d entered through - but nothing mattered aside from his mouth on mine, his hands burning brands into my thighs, and the way the hard length of him rocked against my drenched sex.  His mouth left mine, and the sound of my whimper seemed to push him into more - his tongue tasting my throat, his teeth grazing my skin, and I wasn’t capable of more than clutching his head with my hands and rocking my hips to get as much friction as humanly possible.  

“Do you feel this?” He pressed me harder into whatever he had me up against, and the rigid length of him stroked against me just a little bit rougher.  “Tell me you feel this with anyone else, Amaya, anyone at all.” It was a command he seemed to absolutely know I couldn’t answer with anyone’s name, not even - but then his mouth crashed over mine and his tongue delved deeper, tasting parts of me that I’m not sure I’d ever felt anyone taste before.  

DEREK HALE

Kissing her felt like fighting, which she was - every step of the way - but it was a war that made every single ounce of whatever matter created us and made both of us flare up, ignite, and then burn and urge us on.  

Using the wall beside the threshold I’d used to burn off the need to do what I was currently fully engulfed in doing to hold her in place, so my hips could rock into her and feed me every little noise that friction had bubbling from deep inside of her, my hands were free to slide up her body, tangle in her hair - silky and wrapping around my fingers - and as much as I wanted to swallow every sound her mouth released, I wanted to taste more of her - her neck, her shoulders, every inch of her was begging me to savor her.  

I knew, as soon as I challenged her about whether she’d ever felt what she was feeling at this very moment with another person I could have been setting myself up for a shutdown - but I also felt a rush of confidence that I was right. It was me, and only me, that she felt this with - and even if she wished it wasn’t, which I knew as well, she couldn’t stop now that she acknowledged it.

There was only one tiny thing that was holding me back from ruining Amaya McCall for any man or boy who dared even contemplating looking her way after me. And that one thing, person actually, was a name I was about to remind her of - since I was damn sure that she didn’t have his name anywhere near her thoughts right now - and while it was going to cause me a severe case of blue balled pain, I was also going to explain just what I would be giving her, and what she would have to do to get every single thing that I knew we both wanted.

AMAYA MCCALL

The sound I made when Derek Hale pulled his mouth from mine, and then lowered me to my feet by unwrapping my shaking legs from around his waist, was one that I truly had never heard come from my own body before. The aching need that was made audible should have filled me with shame, but all I could think of was how badly I wanted the heat of his hands and body back, wanted his mouth on me, his tongue invading my senses.  

Looking up, I watched as his throat constricted as he swallowed, and how dark his eyes were from his pupils devouring those golden irises that had captivated me from the first moment they locked on my own - at least seeing signs that he wasn’t unaffected by the mauling we’d done to one another, but that didn’t make him pulling away at all understandable.  

“That’s right, Amaya,” his voice was deep, dark, and so low that it rumbled through the soles of my shoes and then spread through my body.  “You need me, don’t you?”  My mouth opened, but he didn’t let me answer, silencing me with a single finger over my lips.  “You need me, and want me so fucking bad that you’re trembling,” it wasn’t as if I could argue that away, he was still propping me up, standing close enough to keep me upright, but not nearly close enough to make the throbbing centered between my legs dull.  “And I fucking want you too, but -” 

I must have looked as fucking confused and irritated as I felt at hearing that but, because he shook his head and a dark chuckle slipped from him.  “But, Amaya, I’m not going to give you what you so desperately want,” are you fucking kidding me right now?

My brain, having gone to mushy sludge while he was kissing me - OK what he did to me was so much more than kissing and making out sounded like a fucking children’s game compared to what Derek Hale had unleashed on me - was starting to reboot, and as it did my urge to slap the living shit out of him was growing again. 

“That pisses you off, doesn’t it?” Glaring up at him, I didn’t bother trying to articulate just how fucking angry his insistence that he wasn’t going to finish what he so obviously started.  

Leaning closer, pressing his forehead to mine in the strangest expression of tenderness that could exist after whipping me up into a sexually frustrated lather, his gaze never deviated from mine.  “I’ll ruin you, Amaya McCall, one full taste of what we could have, one time, and you’ll forget that safety and that foundation you bragged about -” 

Safety? Foundation? It hit me slower than it should have, and my eyes snapped shut when his name finally came back to where it should have always been, the forefront of my thoughts.  Stiles Stilinski. My boyfriend, that just a few - had we been here minutes, hours, or days at this point - just this morning I’d so openly shown I was fully ready to commit to had been erased by a man who was practically a stranger.

“Open. Your. Eyes.” Derek’s voice was sharp as he ordered me to look at him.  “There it is,” he was staring into my eyes like he could see right through me.  “You forgot him, didn’t you?” He didn’t sound as smug as I’d thought he might.  “You forgot all about your safe choice as soon as your mouth met mine, Amaya, and if that doesn’t tell you everything you should know about what you really want and need, then you’re not as smart as I think we both know you are.”  

“You don’t know me,” it came out breathless, a hint of a whisper, but the pain I was feeling at how right he was at how easily I dismissed Stiles from my mind was a shout comparatively.  “And I don’t know -”

“You don’t know me?” He was shaking his head, his forehead still against my own.  “I let you see the darkest part of me, Amaya, and you touched me like you wanted to see more.”  Nose brushing mine, his lips ghosted over my own - letting the warmth of his breath steal my own.  “If I slip my hands down your jeans, into your panties, am I going to find that you felt nothing when we were having the slightest taste of one another, or am I going to find precisely what we both know is the truth -” I squirmed, both wanting him to check and feeling a burning shame for needing it.  “I was going to give you one orgasm, on my fingers, but now?” He pulled away from me entirely and stepped back, putting two then three feet between us. “Now, I’m going to make you suffer like I am.”  

“Suffer?” He was standing far enough away that I could glance down and see how hard he was, as if I hadn’t felt him pressed against me from the moment he lifted me into his arms.  “So what was this, Derek?”

Sliding my hand through my hair, I really wished I’d grabbed a hair tie before I left my house this morning, since the urge to yank the long strands to prove that this was some kind of terribly erotic nightmare was growing by the second.  “Some sort of test to prove -” I stopped, shaking my head and pushing off of the wall he’d had me pushed against, moving toward him, then skirting around him I went for the front door.  “I have no clue what the fuck you’re trying to prove here, but I’m done.” 

I didn’t make it to the door, I barely made it around him before his hands were locked on my upper arms and he was pressed against my back - and I wished I could say I didn’t arch back into him, trying to soak up every ounce of warmth that coiled from his body into my own. 

His mouth was hot against my ear, as he growled, “it wasn’t a test, Amaya, it was proof that you have too much passion to be satisfied by the safe choice.” His tongue was tasting the shell of my ear and the moan that echoed through what was left of Hale House came from both of us.  “But I don’t share, and I sure as fuck won’t fill you full of me when I can still smell him all over you.”  

Swallowing down a ball of desire that seemed lodged in my throat, hoping that I’d find some way to tell him to fill himself full of more lies - but he wasn’t lying, not even a little bit.  “So a nice hot bath or shower and you’d -” His teeth nipped at the juncture where my neck met my shoulder and my entire body lurched.  

“No, Amaya, you can’t wash it away,” his hands left my arms, and then his arms were wrapped around my chest, just under my breasts and held me close, letting me feel the steady rhythm of his heart beating against my back.  “You can’t wash away Stiles from you that easily,” a new lump, one that wasn’t desire but fear of what he was going to insist, something I could almost taste coming.  “Break up with your safety net, Amaya, then when you ask me nicely for what we both know you want, I’ll consider ending this agony.” 

The burning threat of tears pinched behind my eyes, but I refused to let him see me cry - whether from anger or, in this case, the pain of hurting someone I truly cared about for the uncertainty that he tempted me with.  “Take me home, Derek.” I couldn’t go back to school, not looking like I’d come very close to having very dirty and regret laced sex. “Now.” Shrugging free of his hold, I didn’t wait for him to draw me back into his web, going from the door to his car, and this time I opened my own damn door and got inside.

STILES STILINSKI

Maya wasn’t at lunch, and I hadn’t seen her in the hallways between classes, so I sucked up my fear of how Scott would react to me asking about her and pulled the trigger as we were heading to practice.

“Have you seen your sister since this morning?” Scott glanced at me, sighing loudly to show how annoyed he was at having to discuss Maya with me, and I had to hold back an eye roll.  Then he took a few beats and considered my question, because while he might still be dealing with what he saw as a betrayal, he happened to love his sister.

Brow furrowing, I watched while he thought about when he’d seen her last and then he looked as concerned as I was feeling.  “No, not since she said she was heading to the -”

“Other side of campus,” I finished for him, and realized that she had study hall first thing in the morning so why would she have to go grab anything for that?  “Shit,” grabbing my cell phone, I opened the text thread from last night and then groaned before going out of that and straight to calling her. Feeling like every move I was making was wrong, the call went straight to voicemail, which I told Scott and the left a frantic message for her to call me - or him, when his eyes widened and he gave a look like he’d kill me if I didn’t give her that option too - then hung up and contemplated leaving to go look for her.

“You can’t skip practice,” he muttered, changing into his practice gear. “Coach would eat you alive,” yeah, and I could give a rancid - but then the man in question came bellowing out of his office, eyes on me as he asked if I had a prior engagement as a reason for me not being in the realm of getting practice ready. “See?”

Muttering mutinous thoughts to myself, I changed into my practice gear, clinging to my cell phone on the off chance Maya called, and hoping that nothing was wrong, that whatever was stalking Beacon Hills hadn’t slid over from night to day.

AMAYA MCCALL

I should have remembered that I’d left my cell phone on my bathroom sink all night, and then completely forgot to put it on charge or take it with me to school after Mom and Scott acted like the most obnoxious alarm clocks in human history.  

After slamming Derek’s car door, once I’d guided him to my house - something I really fucking hoped I wouldn’t regret as much as I now regretted wondering how muscle ridden Jackson Whittemore really was under his designer clothing - ignoring his smug sounding parting that was half threat and half temptation from Satan himself - “Bye, Amaya, I’ll see you very soon," and I thought over my rosy red ass.   I somehow missed noticing Mom’s car still parked in our driveway. 

That was the last thing I planned on allowing to escape my attention. Since the first thing that happened when I actually got into my house was Mom’s laser focus landing on me, and whatever she saw made her ask too many carefully probing questions, with a tone dripping with unnecessary concern.

“Are you alright?” She came close, but didn’t crowd me, knowing that sometimes I had to be eased into maternal tenderness - yeah, I know, I have absolutely zero issues just going asshole over tits into the carnally motivated, boy-centric version, but I never claimed to be baggage free and emotionally mature. 

“Did something happen between you and -” I swear I felt every hint of color drain from my entire body at the very idea that something happened, yet, what else would make me feel like I’d been struck by lightning, hit by a truck, and then half drowned in lava between me and Stiles, at least.  “Tell me why you’re home barely two hours into the school day, Maya.”  

Two hours? I’d only been gone for two hours - that goes to show you, when the Devil shows up and invades your senses to the point of shutting down your brain, he can also manipulate time, I guess.  

“I didn’t get a lot of sleep,” her eyes go wide and I rush to head off the inevitable lecture about my personal choices not being a great excuse for skipping school. “The night before our first day back -” as in, not last night when I helped Stiles cross off one of those major teenage milestones without a single regret. “And I guess losing that rest finally caught up to kick me in my -” sighing, I leaned my back against the door that I hadn’t gotten far past when she intercepted me.  “I’m just really tired, Mom.” And I was bone deep exhausted.  “Maybe if I go to my room and take a nap, I can slip back before Scott and Stiles have practice,” and as if I timed it perfectly, a yawn took over my entire frame.  

Mom’s forehead crinkled in that way it did when she was worried, but not willing to push one of us into the “let me check your temperature and force fluids into you” nurse zone. “Go rest, Maya,” there was a but hovering and she didn’t disappoint - even if she didn’t use it.  “We’ll discuss your punishment for last night later.” 

Called it, but seeing as I kind of deserved it a little, I didn’t plan on arguing or debating it.  Nodding, I pushed myself off the door and trudged down the hall to my bedroom, thankful yet again that I had the only bedroom on the first floor of our house. After grabbing my phone and plugging its lifeless shell into the charging cable, I wandered back into my bathroom to wash my face, it was harder than I cared to admit even to myself to look at my own reflection. 

Shouldn’t I look more red-faced and blotchy? Shouldn’t there be a sign that screamed “I climbed a near-complete stranger like a tree and clung to him like a horny monkey”?

I was pale, and there are definite signs of a lack of real restful sleep in those bags and dark rings under my eyes, but aside from that, no one would ever know that deep inside of me, there was a niggling doubt about how truly good of a person I really was - what kind of girl or woman could so easily forget a guy like Stiles because someone with an edge of danger and a hint of mystery clung to his chiseled form? 

“Me,” I murmured, tearing my gaze away from a face that was starting to feel like a stranger to me. “That’s who forgets.” And, now that I was alone, with my bedroom door shut and locked, I could throw myself face down into a pillow that smelled like Stiles, while I let the first of many tears make it a damp miserable mess - just like me.

If you'd like to be added to the tag list (if I'm doing this correctly), then feel free to connect via this MASTERLIST (only for this particular fic for now, think beta testing)

[tamasin]

Shoraa preened herself lightly as she waited for the door to open, weaving her claws through a few slightly matted sections of light brown plumage and fluffing them out. It wasn’t that she was usually particular with her appearance. Day to day she kept herself acceptably composed, but not today. Today was different. Today she gave herself meticulous attention, from head to toe.

“You’re fidgeting, Dralaa,” her companion hissed at her lightly swatting at Shoraa’s hands, “This is a crew position, not an invitation to a Drakaaroh.”

“I still would like to look presentable, Vrreea.” She hissed back, fluffing some of the thicker, honey toned, plumage around where her jaw met her neck.

Vrreea’s own feathers were groomed well enough, though the dralaa had often coasted through life so far on a somewhat disheveled look that worked wonders with the brighter tones of her plumage. It all suited her nature. Loud, brash, and dazzling.

“You’re impossible,” Vrreea snorted, all six of her nostrils along the length of her snout flaring open. She opened her mouth wide but not in a way that bared her wide teeth. No sound came out, but it was still a laugh. A Drallthr laugh. Very much not like a human, Shoraa thought for what felt like the millionth time of her life.

As if she’d read her mind, Vrreea glanced over at her, “How did things go with the Other?”

Shoraa worked her shoulders in wide round circles, a gesture of mediocracy or uncertainty, “Well enough, they’ve moved out of their parents’ home, moved in with their brother.”

“Is it better?” Vrreea asked. Shoraa could see the genuine concern and curiosity behind her dark eyes. She always did like hearing about the Human’s life, though most of her focus tended to be around her planet.

“In some ways. Better emotionally, her brother is kinder and understands her more. Her parents are not unkind, pleasant enough by human standards, though they’d seem distant by ours. However, it’s going to be unstable, uncertain.” She paused her preening and glanced at Vrreea, “Cheap bland food and hard work await.” She shivered, one expression that transcended the lightyears between them and earth, “It is also going to be chilly; the part of the planet she is on is experiencing a cold season. Soon water will fall from the sky already frozen.”

“Gaah,” Vrreea hissed in frustration. Shoraa felt the Drallthr grasp her and pull her close, pushing wide sections of both of their plumage back down, “That you need to suffer such things.”

Shoraa pushed Vrreea away and starting to preen once more. “It is only for a short time Dralaa and I’ve known no other way to live,”

“And the rest of the humans know nothing of your time here?”

Shoraa sighed, a slow expulsion of air through her nose. It was one of the few Human behaviors she found very hard to drop, it was also one that seemed to be particularly infectious among the Drallthr. Vrreea in particular. “It wouldn’t do them any good to know, not that they would believe her if she explained it.”

That much was true. The human parents that her Other had were somewhat closed minded, though her Other had gotten them to budge on much over their past few years. Explaining all of this? Impossible without proof.

She straightened herself up a bit, casting out the thoughts of Humans, and casting a glance at the still closed door to the bridge. “It is not helpful to dwell on another life when I have this one to live, I won’t need to drift away for another three raaka at the earliest, I will enjoy time here when I can.” She paused and glanced a mischievous glance at Vrreea. “Especially not now when I get to spend time with my Dralaa.”

Vrreea grinned as the Drallthr did, not a facial expression, but a vigorous full body wiggle.

Shoraa returned her gaze towards the door, “I still feel he only accepted me for crew duty in order to keep an eye on both of us at once,” she joked.

Vrreea laughed again, “If true it was a foolish decision, we will turn my father’s feathers white together.”

“Dralaa, be kind to him,” Shoraa grunted, “His feathers are white enough from raising you.”

Vrreea’s grin slowed, becoming mischievous, “That I will live to see the last of his colors fade, an admirable goal for a child.”

Her body language shifted, some of her feathers bristled in frustration, “I will need to have words with him on your station. To be assigned to internals.” She rocked her shoulders forward and back in much the same way a human would shake their head, “It is a fine position of importance with no shame, but it is not one that will promote you to an escort vessel.”

Shoraa shook her head, catching herself in the human gesture before correcting herself. “I don’t feel shame. I understand the decision. Serving on one of the outer vessels would prevent my condition from being studied.”

“But this will separate us, Dralaa.” Vrreea grunted, reaching to pull Shoraa close again.

She held her Dralaa at arms length, “Not again with my featehrs Dralaa!” She groaned.  She caught a little wiggle from Vrreea, a grin, a smirk. She was doing it on purpose now. “Raah,” Shoraa hissed in mock frustration, “What fate to be Dralaa to the revered troublemaker Vrreea.”

“A grand and coveted honor,” Vrreea trilled, wiggling back into a smile, “And what of me? To be the Dralaa of by far the most interesting Drallthr, the one who lives two lives.”

Shoraa smirked, pausing but a moment before pulling Vrreea into an embrace of her own.

“Gaaah, Shoraa!” Vrreea barked in surprise before laughing. She pushed Shoraa off and started fluffing her feathers with practiced efficiency, “You’re impossible, just absolutely impossible.”

[track-five]

I can’t remember if you’ve ever written any, but if you have, do you have any tips on how to write good smut? I’m struggling here and feel like everything I’m writing sounds awful/unrealistic. If you don’t feel comfortable answering no worries. Feel free to ignore me!

smut is the weirdest and hardest thing to write! probably because “sex” can be a million different things! i've posted (i think) two different smut scenes (stay another day or two, hope it helps), and i'm currently writing it for pins and screws lol so i've been getting a lot of practice. i don't think i'm particularly good at smut yet, but i got some ideas that could help and looked through my work to get examples because i don't know if i'm very good at explaining myself.

the most important thing to remember is that real life sex isn't cinematic! it's never going to be perfect, so your smut doesn't need to be either.

again, i'm no expert, but the things i keep in mind are:

1. is this even possible?

2. be descriptive

3. feelings feelings feelings

4. staying in character

5. preparation, consent, and aftercare

more details (and excessive use of the phrase "get hard") below

1. is this even possible?

step one! is how are they positioned/what are they doing something that can happen in real life? if character a is behind character b, can b really be tugging a’s hair? can the human body physically contort to do what you're having them do? is a penis ever actually that big? would putting an item of that size in the average vagina be a pleasant experience? did you accidentally write a giving b a blowjob while b is facedown on the bed or under a blanket? IS THERE A FLARED BASE ON THAT THING UP THEIR ASS??

2. be descriptive

if you're having trouble padding out the smut scenes, be descriptive! you don't have to get into graphic detail about the physical acts, but you can describe other things. taking off each other's clothes doesn't have to be one sentence out of an entire sex scene! i tend to focus more on the parts of sex that aren't explicit if that makes sense? i don't go into graphic detail about ✨the moment of insertion✨ or anything, i usually prefer to not describe that actually, but i'll talk in depth about undressing, kissing, touching, etc.

when it comes to descriptions, there's a difference between "god i'm so horny i'm so fucking horny for you harry styles i have morning wood sooooo bad i'm so gay and married and horny about it" and "waking up beside you i'm a loaded gun i can't contain this anymore i'm all yours i've got no control". thank you louis tomlinson for this metaphor! metaphors are your friend here, but not everything needs to be metaphoric. sometimes your loaded gun really is just an erection 😔

examples:

i could have written something like

"Louis helped Harry take off her dress, kissing her skin as it was revealed. The dress was on the ground at her feet, and the touch of Louis' lips against the front of Harry's briefs made blood rush down to her cock."

we all know h is getting a hard on, so there's no need to come out and say it. imply it by describing the other bodily reactions.

"Louis helped to slide [the dress] down ever so slowly, trying to regain seriousness by kissing her collarbones and the birds who flew beneath them. It was slipped off further, and Harry’s well-defined pecs received their deserved attention. Lower, her ribcage. Lower, her stomach. Even lower, those ferns…and then blue floated to the floor, pooled around her like the waves out their window while Louis practically knelt at Harry’s feet, eye level with her silky pants. He teased Harry, brushing the softest kiss against her and seeing the tiny bumps that freckled her thighs as every hair stood up, but Louis didn’t pay it any more attention as he rose up." (hope it helps, ch. 4)

---

"Louis touched Harry's body while they kissed, and he got a boner about it."

yeah that's not surprising and it's honestly understandable! where were their bodies touching? what other sensations were occurring?

"Louis’ hand trailed down the silky dress, resting on Harry’s slight curves while hers took separate paths, one up to his face while the other splayed fingers on his back to keep him in close. Long and leisurely movements of their lips were contrasted by the firm pressure of static hands on backs and waists - but when a heavy exhale from Louis was breathed into Harry’s mouth, it dragged the younger partner deeper. There was an unleashed hunger behind her movements, adding a second hand to cup Louis’ face as her teeth grazed her husband’s bottom lip. Heartbeats fluttered as their lips smacked audibly and Louis, always so easy to excite, felt his blood start to heat when Harry whispered his name under her breath. The warmth of her words floating over his lips was enough to get him going, and Harry could feel it too. She was unable to ignore the pressure against her thigh, and Louis knew exactly why her breath caught." (hope it helps, ch. 4)

3. feelings feelings feelings

we know A and B are fucking. we know this! tell us something we don't know. what are the sounds, emotions, physical feelings, scents, etc. that go along with the horny stuff? perfume/cologne, background music, panting, hot breath on their neck, body parts touching...

examples:

"pulling down Harry's briefs and watching him get hard."

obviously that's going to happen! i don't want to hear about people being hard!!

"...slipping his finger beneath the lower hem of Harry’s briefs, skin on sensitive skin adding to the ache between Harry’s thighs." (stay another day or two)

---

"Louis moaned when a love bite was sucked right next to his cock, and the pain caused him to dig his fingernails into Harry's skin. He worried his reaction hurt Harry, but it seemed like his partner was enjoying the pain."

describe how they're both giving and receiving pain. without just saying the words, how do we know louis likes it? how does louis know h likes it?

"Uninjured fingers buried in Harry’s hair, tugging it roughly as the younger man’s touch sparked electricity on his skin. An involuntary moan tore from Louis’ throat when Harry sucked a dark purple bruise on his inner thigh, so close to the sensitive skin that throbbed with desperation for the man’s hands, his lips, his anything. Louis dug his fingernails subconsciously into the skin of Harry’s shoulder, and the pretty little gasp the pain pulled from him was paired with a look from eyes that were hardly green, pupils dilated with an insatiable desire. Harry shuddered when Louis’ nails unclenched from his flesh..." (pins and screws, ch. 5 lol sneak peek)

4. stay in character

personality traits still exist in the bedroom! they can have a shift in attitude or emotion, but they're still the same characters you've been writing this whole time. remember that real life sex isn't cinematic! it can be awkward and sweaty and funny and gross - how would your characters feel about that? maybe they're getting too into it and they knock teeth when they're kissing, or one accidentally spills lube all over the other. what happens then? do they laugh it off, or are they too desperate for each other to even acknowledge that it happened?

not everyone becomes sexlord supreme once the clothes start coming off. be realistic in what you're getting your characters into. sucking dick as a concept? easy. in practice? not always. maybe they have a gag reflex or a small mouth or their jaw simply can't open far enough.

examples:

"Louis’ fingers were stuck on [a button], and he mumbled fuck between kisses, from frustration rather than arousal. Harry couldn’t choke back her quiet snort, and soon the two were both laughing harder than they had since before they’d found themselves locked down at home. Louis never let his hand leave her toned stomach as he shifted to stand behind her, and her arm twisted around awkwardly to bury in his hair because she’d be damned if her hand lost contact with her Louis. Clingy hands rested themselves all over Harry’s bare skin as they assisted in the removal, spinning his partner around so that the skirt fluttered against two sets of legs, both still giggling uncontrollably." (hope it helps, ch. 4)

and

"'Do you still hate me?'

'Never,' he breathed, running a thumb over the sensitive head of Harry's cock and revelling in the breathy sigh his touch elicited. 'You still hate me?'

'Always,' Harry teased..." (pins and screws, ch. 5)

5. preparation, consent, and aftercare

safe sex is sexy!

characters won't climb into bed and immediately be ready to dive in. there's preparation and buildup. some people who utilise the back door may want to get prepared before the fun even starts. physical and emotional foreplay is key though. talking, exploring, teasing...all the important stuff that gets your characters in the mood.

just because you know the characters are consenting doesn't mean you can't also make that clear in the work. you don't have to have them say "hello lover i want to have sex with you do you want to have sex with me?" "yes i do let's go have sex with each other together!", but things like green/yellow/red, safewords, verbal consent, etc. set a good precedent, even in established relationships. in my work, asking for permission to kiss or touch isn't always necessary given the context of their relationship and the established boundaries that exist within it. however, it's still intimate and sexy to ask. h asking if he can undress l while so obviously desperate and starving for his body is sexy, because once l says yes (and maybe he makes him wait/work for a yes)...feral harry time. it shows respect from h and opens up the opportunity for teasing, brattiness, pleading, etc. something about enthusiastic consent is just hot idk maybe that's just me

also! sex is awesome but a little nasty. kinda gross! if your characters cum, they kinda have to do something about that. not saying you have to write it, but if they fuck and then immediately go to sleep, that could be unpleasant to wake up to. you can let them show each other even more love and care by allowing them the opportunity to clean each other up, be sure they're both fully satisfied and comfortable, etc.

[chronicallyillphoenix]

My psych says that i am emotionally dissociated and this is the reason that in the past 6+ months i have actually felt a single emotion. The rest of the time i feel nothing. Absolute apathy. I get physical sensations of emotions (like tight chest when i would usually feel anxious, widespread tension/pain when i would feel angry, sinking chest and nausea when i would usually feel sad) but i dont actually *feel* the emotions. I have been explaining it like how it feels when getting a cavity fixed, the dentist numbs up the tooth so you dont feel the actual pain, but you still experience the physical sensations like the vibrations, smell, and scraping. She says its because i am still living with my ex and even tho we are friends, i still havent been given the chance to step back and actually let myself process all of my feelings.

Thats probably one of the reasons i am just now realizing im probably really depressed. Which would make A LOT of sense given a lot of the things that have happened in the past 6 months. Like. I broke up with my fiance the same day i got the money for a deposit for a wedding venue, i have lost not one, but three of my cats. And i never got to tell any of them bye because they live with my parents and even tho i didnt want them living outside, i didnt get a voice in the matter since i no longer lived there and the house went from my 2 parents, to 4 adults and a baby and they just didnt have room. Two of them were just really old and we think they did the animal thing and just went off somewhere to die alone and it *hurts* because the first one to go was my favorite because of how sweet he was and who i always slept with in my arms when i would visit (i have struggled so hard to spend the night there with him gone). But once he was gone the other two were gone within the next two months and none of them were expected (like we knew bandit and bunnie were old but we expected to them to pass away inside the cat pen where they stayed every night like every barn cat before them had and that way we could bury them up on the hill, but it didnt turn out that way). I have also developed more concerning health symptoms and have gotten no answers to them. And now my mom has broken her shoulder and isnt going to be able to work for the next 3 months and even tho shes getting workers comp, her pay is significantly less and shes my sole source of income right now. And so i am always already feeling guilty about spending any money but now i feel worse about it and am having panic attacks because i got fast food once this week because i was flaring too bad to make anything myself even tho my mom gives me money *specifically* so i can get food and stuff when i am in a flare.

But yeah i have realized i am almost certainly depressed and the funny thing is that the way i realized this was a tumblr poll. It was asking what peoples hobbies were and i couldnt answer it because in the past year i havent really had anything hobby wise. Ive mostly stopped reading, i am not doing pour paintings, not doing my paracord stuff, and anytime i decide im going to finally start knitting i just end up picking up the yarn and staring at it for a bit before setting it back down and going back to sitting on the couch with the tv on in the background for background noise.

Im going to see my psych on wednesday and i hope to talk to her about this but i also dont know what there is to do about it. Probably raise my antidepressant but idk. Im not even sad so i dont see the point in raising my antidepressant because idk what being not depressed would change because were pretty sure the apathy is because of current circumstances and not just because of depression idk. I just want everything to be normal again

[winniecouture]

Picking the best wedding dress is a big choice for a bride and it's not always simple. Finding a dress that makes you feel like royalty can be hard with so many styles to choose from and lots of choices. But don't worry, we are here to help you! In this article, we will look at the newest styles in wedding dresses and give you useful advice to help you find your perfect gown. If you like old style clothes or modern looks, we will explain the best styles that are popular in bridal fashion. We will talk about different styles and shapes of clothes that are popular now, including simple beauty to big sleeves and bold cuts. These designs catch people's attention. So, if you want to start looking for the best dress for your wedding, read on. This will give you all the ideas and help needed about finding it right way. Your dream dress awaits!

Current Wedding Dress Trends

Wedding dress fashions change all the time. It's important to know what's new so you can pick a dress that suits your likes and matches with how your big day will look like. This year, several fun new trends have made a big splash in the world of bridal fashion.

One popular style now is simple and classy. Now, clean lines, simple shapes and small details are very popular. Women getting married are choosing simple, elegant dresses that give off a classic look. These dresses usually use fancy clothes like silk or satin, and the priority is on perfect stitching and skill.

Statement sleeves are also a well-liked fashion trend. If it's big puffed sleeves, bishop sleeves or big bell-shaped ones then this style makes any bridal gown more fancy and romantic. Big arm sleeves can change a simple dress into something special and are great for brides who want to show off their style.

For the girls who like to show their fun style, big cutouts and low-cut tops are a fashion trend they should think about. These daring design parts make old-fashioned wedding dresses look sexy and modern. Using well-placed holes or low V lines, these features will surely catch people's attention and leave a lasting mark.

Finally, wedding dresses inspired by boho style are still very popular. Soft, pleasant fabrics, delicate lace and light details make a fun and loving look just right for outdoor or beach weddings. Boho dresses usually have fancy stitching, see-through parts and flower decorations. They add a feel of free spirit style to your wedding day.

Things to Keep in Mind When Picking a Wedding Dress:

It's fun to stay up with the newest styles, but don't forget that not all looks will fit every bride. When picking your wedding dress, think about some things to make sure you find a pretty and comfy gown for your big day.

First, think about the shape of your body. Each bride is special and different shapes look better on various body types. For example, if you have an hourglass-shaped body the mermaid dress or fit-and-flare dress will show off your curves. If you have a body that is shaped like a pear, wear an A-line dress with a tight bodice and flowing skirt. This will make your size look more even. Knowing what body type you have and picking a dress that suits it will make you look nice. It'll match up well with the rest of your outfit too.

Also, think about where your wedding will be and the general feel or style of it. If you're getting married and it is a fancy wedding with people wearing black-tie clothes, then choosing an elegant dress that has lots of details plus a long train might be great for you. For a wedding on the beach, you should wear an easy-to-move dress that lets you have fun and feels good in the wind. Make your dress match the place and event so you can make a pretty wedding look.

One more thing to think about is your own style. Your wedding dress should show your unique style and how you want to look on this big day. If you are a classic bride, then maybe old style designs that have straight lines and traditional decorations will be your choices. However, if you are daring and into fashion trends, maybe you would choose a special dress that displays your character. Don't be scared to show off your personal style when picking out a wedding dress.

Body Shapes and the Best Wedding Dress Outline

When you are picking the best shape for your unique wedding dress to match how you look, knowing what looks good on different body types can make a big change. In this section, we will look at some popular body shapes and the outlines that suit each type best.

Hourglass Figure: If you have a shape like an hourglass with clear lines, you'll want to show off your waist and make your curves stand out. A mermaid or fit-and-flare shape is great for showing off your body. These clothing styles wrap around your body from the waist to about halfway down your legs, then spread out wide. This gives a big and girly appearance.

Pear-Shaped Figure: For people who have a pear-shaped body, where the hips are wider than their shoulders, an A-line shape is perfect. The tailored bodice will make your waist stand out, while the big skirt will even out how you look. Think about wearing dresses with adorned chest parts or unique necklines to bring focus upwards.

Apple-Shaped Figure: If you are like an apple body with a bigger middle part, empire waist dress is good to wear. The high waistline and long skirt will make you look good in a way that makes your body seem longer. Search for dresses with waistlines at the top and stay away from tight styles that focus on middle part.

Straight Figure: If you have a simple shape with little curves, you can make it look like there are more by choosing the right dress style. A dress that hugs the body is a good choice for looking slim and classy. Consider