#chronically ill phoenix

[chronicallyillphoenix]

Have a neuro appointment soon and i am terrified i am going to be laughed at for coming in about such minor symptoms especially since they don't impede on my ability to function. Also afraid they'll be chalked up to anxiety like my psych did when i asked her if it could be a medication side effect. It's literally just my body (especially legs) jerking and twitches but it is driving me up the wall. I have some videos captured from my dog cam and they're all so small but it's something that i have no control over and i hate it. I just want to know *why* it is happening

[bitstitchbitch]

going into my third winter with cold-sensitive fibromyalgia and I have learned that there is no escaping the flare-up, there is only mitigating the flare-up

[sergeantsporks]

[slaps the top of Phoenix’s curse] This bad boy can fit so many metaphors in it.

[mindmxtters]

also I would like to thank u all for ur patience while I was MIA for so long. I was, as the kids would say, Going Through It (tm)

[laurensinclairsfleabagera]

hypothyroidism headcanons because I have it and I say so. I am medicated, but still tired and cold all of the fucking time

MINORI HANASATO FROM PJSK !!!!!!!

This is so important to me idc that I’m not hyperfixated on project sekai anymore. the kicker. She’s undiagnosed and doesn’t get the diagnosis until 17. so like. Id imagine the girls prompt her to get looked at for so long because she keeps complaining it’s cold even in the middle of fucking July or something, and even though she’s active as fuck, like being in an idol group and all, she’s still midsize.!! girl struggles to lose weight, at one point calls herself lazy or something when a fan points out her chub compared to the others, and she’s like :(((. haruka goes fucking insane at a fan over this. like she’s all like “SHUT UP. She’s trying her absolute hardest and I am ashamed you’re a fan of us.” ok so eventually this blows up and she talks about how even though she went to bed early and got 9 hours sleep, she’s still tired and falls asleep in class a lot. she also feels depressed and unmotivated and the girls are like. No we are dragging you to the doctors smth is not right here so when she goes up on the rooftop for “practice”, it turns out they’re doing the “no bullshit no disagreements” thing, her mum is on the rooftop because they told her everything that Minori didn’t because she didn’t wanna burden her mum,,, fast forward a few weeks, blood test results come back, she goes back to the doctors and gets diagnosed with hypothyroidism!!! The aftermath is haruka bringing blankets to practice so Minori can get warm after :,))

PHOENIX WRIGHT FROM ACE ATTORNEY.

There’s no canon evidence to support this one, I just kin him and I say so; so he has congenital hypothyroidism (he was born with it, like me) and he’s been on meds since like childhood, still a lil chubby (also me) so he’s “coping” ig. He’s still wearing multiple layers in the absolutely sunny japanifornia weather and complaining abt being cold and has multiple blankets in his office while he does case paperwork or whatever,,,, and past 18 he can afford to get them but shit doesn’t hit the fan until the seven year gap where he doesn’t have the insurance and it’s too expensive ,,, so his depression gets BAAAAAD and he’s falling asleep literally everywhere and he’s on like 12 cups of coffee a day and trucy and Apollo literally have to wake him up. Off of meds, his body health is not thriving, his heartbeat is doin zoomies and he only asks sugar daddy edgeworth for help when he has a whole ass seizure and the moment he finds out phoenix nearly fucking died he runs to the pharmacist and gets him a 6 month prescription of lethoroxyne and he stays with him for a month while he adjusts again. and he is now a midsize king with a dad bod.

[speaknowslut13]

I love that on Tumblr I don’t have to try and limit my words. I can write long ass paragraphs and post. Shit I love this place.

Also I’m nauseous as fuck today and stressed out about finishing chemistry. The finish line is so close and I might actually pass this time. Maybe even with an A 😭

[harridansibyl]

Personal associations/interpretations of the dark/mystical houses (4th, 6th, 8th, 12th)

4th house

twisted tree roots, cultural practices, heirlooms, photo albums, inherited features, traditions, the mother, past lives, generational trauma, picture books, garden beds, childhood homes, ancestor altars, hand written recipe books, hearth, squeaky wooden floorboards, genealogy archives, caves, oak trees, baby wrap carriers, emotional security, cultural heritage, building foundations, photo albums, genetics, laundry lines, swing sets, property, mines, crops, sanctuaries, the chest and heart, home steads, fields, farms, root cellars, harvests, pots on stoves, brooms, backyards, agriculture, vines on trellises, handmade blankets, grandparents house, laundry baskets, attachment styles, singing lullabies, history, deep emotions, instincts, the unconscious, summer, waxing moon, vase of flowers, bath time, picking berries, celebrating holidays, chicken coops, older sisters, family gatherings, stone paths, forest walks, ancient structures/buildings, ancestral languages, cupboards, staying in

6th house

vitamins and supplements, morning routines, pharmacies, tasks and lists, doctors offices, health food stores, stomach medicine, hygiene practices, journals and planners, schedules, herbal teas, personal rituals, emergency kits, dog walks, lymphatic drainage, caregiving, donating blood, examinations and checkups, meditation, colour coordination, sticky notes, gastrointestinal problems, folded laundry, labels on everything, retirement homes, hand washing, braided hair, herb gardens, filing cabinets, face masks, kombucha, detailed diagrams, volunteer work, medicine cabinets, cleaning supplies, shelves, acts of service, skin care, organic linen, gauze and stitches, stress-induced illnesses, essential oil/herb baths, house plants, instructions, repetition, holistic medicine, giving advice, yoga studios, "gut feeling," bone broth

8th house

altars, divination, near death experiences, candle wax, feeling crushed by a heavy weight, grave dirt, red/dim lighting, funerals, double income, control, the underworld, cheques, insurance, heirlooms, ghost sightings, power imbalances, crime documentaries, ouroboros, bank accounts, grief and loss, shadow work, the womb, manipulation, scrying mirrors, Russian nesting dolls, keys, mortuaries, tests from the universe, pendulums, crime scene tape, the phoenix, projections, credit scores, animal bones on a forest floor, blood stained sheets, metaphysical shops, spiritual attacks, deep emotions, snakes, dead flowers, late autumn, wedding veils, envelopes, full moon, muddy boots, shadows at the corners of your vision, scarab beetles, inner processing, experiencing crisis, inherited possessions, natural disasters, sexual trauma, psychological studies, ancestral connections, cracked dolls, veil between realms, mental illnesses, deep connections, intimacy, reincarnation, torture devices, keys, whirlpools, the sound of sirens, unconscious fears, intense first impressions, pushing limits, feeling bound, scratches on walls, ten of swords

12th house

abandoned places, liminal spaces, long winters, shadowy figures, reoccurring dreams, repeated patterns, fog-filled forests, self analysation, inner worlds, cave systems, unfinished basements, hallucinations, solitary confinement, empty parking garages, spiral staircases, substance abuse, trapped in purgatory, hidden beneath the surface, maladaptive daydreaming, hospital hallways, confines of society, waning moon, moths, wandering aimlessly, disconnection from the world, psych wards, healing others, tired eyes or dark circles, chronic mental illness, suppression, addictions, hiding places, overnight shifts, unexplainable experiences, past life karma, exhaustion, cobwebs, others projections, catacombs, bird cages, premonitions in dreams, prescription bottles, self destructive patterns, late night walks, misty lakes, the feeling of walking out of the movie theater at night, identity crises, blurred faces, empty public transport, astral projection, comas, diary entries, dissociative episodes, shape shifting, generational trauma, observing people, mirrors, padded rooms, the afterlife, chain link fences, paradoxes, feeling misunderstood, repression or memory loss, hikikomori, the freeze response, disappearance, waiting rooms

[the-east-art]

Anyway if you love Pacific Rim and Ace Attorney you are required to read In Better Light . Pacific Rime setting with Ace Attorney characters. Main pull is the platonic (familial) relationship to develops between Trucy and Apollo. Phoenix and Edgeworth are chronically ill from a problem they had when they tried to pilot a jaegar. Klavier and Kristoph in sibling drama and betrayal. It’s good.

[babyniigo]

hi gonna b more specific for my req ,

sleepy , chronically ill , dysphoric transboy little + puppy regressor tsukasa !! gentle , kinda chaotic ( silly chaotic ) cg rui who tsukasa calls bubby !! sawry if thats too specific um .. thats what me n rui are like in sys n i thought that this would be comforting 😭 /nf

Little! Tsukasa and CG! Rui ପ(๑•ᴗ•๑)ଓ

Ahhh stress sleepy regressor Tsukasa always goes to Rui when he feels small, does grabby hands and Rui sweeps him into his arms! ໒꒰ྀིっ˕ -｡꒱ྀི১

I think even when Tsukasa goes non verbal cause he’s feeling really blue and down; but Rui cheers him up without words! ૮ ྀི◞ ⸝⸝ ◟ ྀིა

He swoops him up in his arms and spins around in circles, telling him what a cool Phoenix he is!!! ໒꒰ྀིᵔ ᵕ ᵔ ꒱ྀི১

Also he lays his baby boy in his lap and keeps blowing raspberries on his tummy or tickling him until Tsukasa is a giggly mess! ૮꒰⸝⸝> ̫ <⸝⸝꒱ა

I think because of his chronic illness, Rui is extra coddling of Tsukasa! He likes to pick him up and carry him everywhere, likes to spoon feed him and loves to play with him gently because he doesn’t want to tire the baby out when he’s regressed!! ૮₍ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ₎ა ₊˚⊹♡

When kasa is feeling dysphoric, I think Rui tends to change his baby boy into his own clothes, and when Tsukasa is dressed in his cgs oversized warm and cozy clothing, it soothes him! ૮ ˶´ ᵕˋ ˶ა

Plus plus!!! Rui gives him sooo many compliments

“Who’s this handsome prince! You look so so stunning my sweet boy!”

But sometimes!!! Tsukasa wants to pay back his cgs kindness; so he offers Rui his paci!

It’s so so cute!!! And Rui pats his head and praises him!

“Thank you bubby! What a good boy you are!! Rui’s bestest baby boy ever!”

They lob lob lob cuddling!!! Because Tsukasa is a sleep regressor, he just loves being cradled in Rui’s arms while his CG gently shushes him, coos at him, and rocks him from side to side to help the baby sleep (⸝⸝ᴗ﹏ᴗ⸝⸝) ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

Plus Tsukasa always is tucked safely in Rui’s arms for bedtime, having his paci in his mouth, his favorite star plushie!! And his cgs warm arms to soothe him to sleep ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ♡‧₊˚

[wangxianficfinder]

In the mood for...

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1. Hola! Hope you are doing well!🧡🧡🧡

I have smut wangxian itmf need where:

(wwx is all soft and vulnerable while they are doing their everyday and someone peeks or comes in and lwj gets all overprotective and angry something like the thousand autumns in the end chapters where they're making out and someone interrupts them)

Thank you!

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2. Are there any fics where Wei Ying is a phoenix?

a thousand hills, no birds in flight | 千山鳥飛絕 by defractum (nyargles) (E, 26k, WangXian, Mythology, Canon-Typical Violence, Canon adjacent setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort)

🔒 Soaring through the skies - together Series by Vrishchika (E/T, 15k, WangXian, Dragon LWJ, Phoenix WWX, Fantasy, Explicit Sexual Content, Double Penetration, Oral Sex, First Time, Getting Together, Non-Human Genitalia, Genius WWX, Angst with a Happy Ending, POV LWJ)

🔒 Breathing Firestorm by ladyshadowdrake (M, 110k, wangxian, Angst, Fluff, Captivity, WRH is creepy, NO NON CON, Dream Sharing, people put in difficult situations and making the best choices that they can, Politics, Epic Length, mystical creature WWX, Canon Typical Violence, dark, Happy Ending)

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3. Hi! (＾▽＾) this is for ITMF!

any fics were people think WWX really gave birth to A-Yuan? like in Assumptions by draechaeli?

Have a great day! (＾▽＾)

I’ll buy you the moon (I’ll buy you two) by Thesaurus_with_no_words (E, 27k, WangXian, Science Fiction, Space, Rebels, Space Opera, On the Run, Promoted To Parent, Robots, Androids, Mechs, Battle Mechs, Hurt/Comfort, Technopathy, Willful and Deliberate Baby and Wife Acquisition, Porn With Plot, Mpreg) LWJ thinks A-Yuan is his and WWX's

🔒 Blooming in white by luckymoonly (T, 38k, wangxian, JYL/JZX, WQ/MM, LXC/NMJ, JC/NHS, Canon Divergence, Mpreg, Getting Together, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, hidden pregnancy, Mutual Pining, Drama, Misunderstandings, Everyone Lives AU, Miscommunication, WWX and NHS are BFF, matchmaker NHS, Fix-It)

the old-fashioned way by Anonymous (T, 1k, WangXian, Body Dysphoria, Gender Dysphoria, Mpreg, Trans MXY, body fluids, references to canon suicide, this is a funny crack ficlet, despite the rest of the tags, trans wwx, Post-Canon, Transphobia mentioned, Trans Male Character) is short but really funny, one of my favorites

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4. Hello! I've read quite some "Modern!Wei Wuxian meets Canon!Lan Wangji" fics, and I loved the idea so much, but now I'm wondering, is there any fics with same theme but reverse? Modern Lwj stumbling upon cultivation world or something? More recs for first one are also welcome 😁💖 @dream-xv-eater

Double Trouble by SirenAlpha (T, 25k, WangXian , Time Travel, Dimension Travel, Fix-It) has (modern AU) LWJ, WWX, and JC ending up in canon. including meeting the canon version of themselves

Echoes of Love by Witch_Nova221 (M, 212k, WangXian, Modern AU, Eventual Romance, Time Travel, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, university lecturer LWJ, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, Dark BSSR, Amnesia, Memory Loss, 1980s music, LWJ loves all things 80s, Oxford vs Cambridge, Boat Race, References to Torture, Murder, Blood and Injury, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Mystery) I've only just started this but it fits the prompt. Wwx has amnesia

take me back to a time by DizziDreams (T, 143k, WangXian, Modern AU, College/University, Modern with Magic, Time Travel, Sharing a Bed, Angst with a Happy Ending, Student!WWX, Time-Traveling Wizard!LWJ, Slow Burn, Character Death, Angstreference to abuse, Canonical Character Death, Canonical Abuse, Canon!LWJ, Canon-Typical Violence, Mutual Pining, Chronic Illness, Not A Fix-It, Case Fic, implied 3zun, Transmigration, America, [Podfic of] take me back to a time by dreamhazer) I've also got canon!LWJ ending up in a modern AU (with modern!wwx)

不忘 | Don't Forget by dragongirlG (E, 50k, WangXian, Modern AU, Canon Divergence, Time Travel, Reincarnation, Fix-It of Sorts, Identity Porn, Social Media, Reunions, Family, Angst with a Happy Ending, Light Bondage, References to Canon, Artist WWX, Sexual Content, Pining, POV Multiple, Additional Warnings In Author's Note) and canon!WWX ending up in a modern au (with modern... everybody else more or less)

🔒YEYE NONCONNED A TWINK?!?!?! (How Lan Wangji's Vent Account Became Twitter Famous) by Pancho (M, 7k, wangxian, time travel fix-it, post-first siege of burial mounds, violence, blood, dub con, implied/referenced character death, crack treated seriously, PTSD, happy ending) sort of, LWJ is immortal so they know each other already but WWX does meet his modern grandnephew (?) also named lwj

Wrong Turn, Right Place by diamondbruise (E, 71k, WangXian, Time Travel, kind of, it’s more reality travel but there’s modern wwx and cultivator lwj, Mutual Pining, Angst with a Happy Ending, Jealousy, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn, Misunderstandings, Cultural Differences) oops just realized you asked for modern lwj meets cultivator wwx and not the opposite lol sorry

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5. Itmf a fic where, u know how in *out of context SPOILER** 12 moons and a fortnight wwx has a big dress to impress treat yourself moment with nhs?**end spoiler** any fics with a similar vibe to that scene, where there's a big dress-up statement moment

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6. Itmf a fic that made you learn something new. Maybe it was a cool vocab word, or a character used an instrument you'd never heard of, or contained details about an unfamiliar skill set, or made you consider something in a new way, etc. Tell us what you learned! I read a fic where ghost wwx played the hurdy gurdy in cr to juniors (forgot title, help!) & now it's one of my fav instruments.

For the Love of Quilting by Scrippio (T, 5k, WangXian, Modern: No Powers, Quilt Shop AU, First Meeting, Getting Together, Fluff) this fic taught me a lot abt quilting !!

KILF (Knits I'd Like To Fuck in) by ScarlettStorm (E, 168k, wangxian, modern, sex work, fiber arts, 2nd in series) taught a lot about knitting along with giving me a bit of an interest in it

Gentle Exile by rynleaf (E, 9k, SL/LXC, Post-Canon, Canonical Character Death, Grief/Mourning, References to Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst, All deaths in canon happen I'm SORRY, Character Study, Epistolary, Post-Canon Exploration, Podfic by flamingwell, semperfiona_podfic (semperfiona)) LanLan, not Wangxian, and maybe this wasn't what OP was asking about, but the writing style of this one is so creative in how it uses written structure and formatting that it made me have to get CRAZY inventive and learn a TON of new skills to figure out how to translate that to an audio medium when I was podficcing it!

Into the Depths by elytchaeke (T, 47k, WangXian, Modern AU, Cave Diving, Slow Burn, not that slow, Speluncaphobia, Claustrophobia, Descriptions of Corpses, Drowning, Minor Character Death, Minor Violence, Sharing Body Heat, The Inherent Eroticism of Wordless Communication, Corpse Handling) It taught me a lot about cave diving, specifically safety practices, exploration regulations, and (somewhat morbidly) the process for retrieving the body of anyone who attempted a dive and didn't make it back. The au is fun, putting wangxian into this specific field together

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7. intmf some preferably short, preferably cannon verse E rated fics with wangxians canon bedroom dynamics? @chellsky

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8. Looking for any and all hallmark aus for the holiday season. I'm not really picky about tropes. I love them all. I just want them to be overwhelmingly fluffy and sweet and remind me of the magic of Christmas or any other winter holiday. @leahlisabeth

Ornaments Under the Stars by trippednfell (M, 57k, wangxian, Modern, Inspired by Hallmark Christmas Movies, the wangxian Hallmark Movie AU no one asked for, plot and title were randomly generated, Kidfic, Disabled Character, debilitating injury as substitute for missing golden core, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Angst with a Happy Ending, Guest starring Lan Zhan's sky blue coat, The Coat deserves its own tag, disordered eating habits - not a major plot point, WIP) is a great WIP

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9. any fic where instead of accepting the whipping LWJ just leaves the sect? @chellsky

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10. ITMF where there are multiple Wei Wuxian’s? Like duplicates/clones. I LOVE “🔒 worm moon” by serein and it got me thinking how fun two (or more!) Wei Wuxian’s could be. Imagine Lan Qiren having to deal with multiple Wei Wuxian’s running around Cloud Recesses and disrupting the peace lolol. Thank you for any recs you can give!

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11. Fics where Lan Sizhui is biologically wangxian’s??

you can have the best of me, baby by stiltonbasket (Not rated, 12k, wangxian, JYL & WWX & JC, LXC/NMJ, Canon Divergence, Pre-Relationship, or that one where wangxian are trapped in the xuanwu's cave and use dual cultivation to get out, Dual Cultivation, Accidental Baby Acquisition, Sunshot Campaign, Getting Together, a-yuan is wangxian's baby, Happy Ending, WIP)

🔒 If Wishes Were Donkeys by NightOwl1 (M, 101k, WIP, WangXian, SVSSS, Time Travel Fix-It, Case Fic, Mpreg, Fluff and Humor, Dysfunctional Jiāng Family, Bad Parent YZY, WangXian Get a Happy Ending,   Period-Typical Homophobia, Crossdressing, LWJ and WWX Have a Breeding Kink, It’s All The System’s Fault, Post-Canon, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Warning: JGS, Good Uncle LQR, LWJ and WWX Are LSZ’s Parents, Inappropriate Humor, Family Feels)

my heart to your beat series by larkspur_9 (T, 21k, WangXian, Modern AU, Single Parent LWJ, Celebrity WWX, Trans Male Character, Trans LWJ, Fluff and Angst, (but mostly fluff), Kid Fic, WWX and LWJ are A-Yuan’s biological parents)

In which Lan Qiren eavesdrops and gets a new nephew (and grandnephew) out of it by h0peless_oblivion (M, 64k, wangxian, LQR & WWX, LQR & LWJ, Modern, High School AU, A/B/O, Alpha LWJ, Omega WWX, Mpreg, Teen Pregnancy, Shotgun Wedding, Good Uncle LQR, Madam Yu's A+ Parenting, WWX almost gets disowned for getting knocked up, But the Lans take him in, Fluff and Angst, Family Feels, Unspecified Setting, WWX Has ADHD, A-Yuan is Wangxian's son, Pregnant WWX, Humor, non-graphic birth, Family Drama, The Lans love wwx, Male Lactation, Mild Smut in later chapters, wangxian's canonical breeding kink, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, WIP)

🔒 Treats by Prince_kun (G, <1k, wangxian, LWJ & LSZ & WWX, Domestic Fluff, Trick or Treating, Child LSZ, Pregnant WWX, Short & Sweet, Soft wangxian, Family Feels, Mpreg, Wangxian Are LSZ's Parents, LSZ being the cutest thing ever in existence)

Lan Sizhui's forehead ribbon by I_have_a_fleet_of_ships (T, 1k, wangxian, LSZ & WWX, Married Wangxian, Established Wangxian, Wangxian Are LSZ's Parents, WWX is LSZ's Parent, Oblivious LWJ, Gūsū Lán Forehead Ribbon, Good Uncle LQR, Fluff, Light Angst, Post Mpreg, Post-Canon)

🔒🧡 Many Lan babies Series by LuckyMoonly (Varied, 396k, WIP, WangXian, Story collection, Mpreg, Pregnant WWX only, Family Fluff, Found Family, Kid fics)

OP can try the specific tag for LSZ being WX's kid in specific

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12. Itmf for fics like Linearly above by covalentbonds, I am really intrigued to see wangxian in their parents era😄

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13. Itmf where I really wanna see Wwx being manhandled possibly post guanyin temple events and lwj getting angry or getting protective 🩵🩵🩵🩵 Thank you!

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14. I know it's not really a trope in this fandom, but itmf any 'boys in chains' recs. if it's got a good scene where a wangxian individual is tied up, restrained, locked up, shackled, or otherwise restricted for excellent angst purposes, I'm bound to like it!

dew drops on petals by jalpari (E, 17k, WangXian, Canon Universe, Mythical Beings & Creatures, Bottom LWJ/Top WWX, Tentacle Monsters, WWX Has a Secret, LWJ Finds Out And is very into it, Getting Together) this involves lwj being restrained by a baddie & wwx rescuing him

To lurk, to lie in wait by trippednfell (M, 124k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Huli Jing, strangers to co-parents to lovers, Strangers to Lovers, Dragons, Kid Fic, teenage juniors, background NieLan, Angst with a Happy Ending, Case Fic, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Not Really Character Death, Fox Spirit WWX, Dragon LWJ, Blood and Injury, Additional Warnings In Author’s Note) WWX is placed in a containment array rather than more traditional bindings

Birthday Party by waffles_4_breakfast (E, 100k, WangXian, Graphic Depicitons of Violence, Fix-It, Canon Divergence, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Misunderstandings, Sharing a Bed, Angst with a Happy Ending, Getting Together, Mutual Pining, Canon-Typical Violence, Pining, Slow Burn, Poison, Torture, Requited Unrequited Love, First Time, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Rough Sex, Oral Sex, Come as Lube, Bondage, Dom/sub Undertones, Spit As Lube, Rimming, Consensual Non-Consent, Safe Sane and Consensual, Additional Warnings In Author's Note) WWX is shackled

the field meets the wood by astronicht (T, 7k, WangXian, BAMF WWX, slight whump, Ritualistic Self Harm, Canon Era, Tang Dynasty style, Blood Loss, Blood and Injury, salt economics, Post-Canon) LWJ is tied up

some good mistakes by Lise (T, 18k, WangXian, JC & WWX, Post-Canon, Road trips, rescue Missions, Hurt/Comfort, Awkward Conversations, Yunmeng Bros Reconciliation) mostly this is Jiang Cheng and LWJ forced to work together (to rescue WWX) and hating every minute, but WWX is tied up in a scene at the

a thousand hills, no birds in flight | 千山鳥飛絕 by defractum (nyargles) (E, 26k, WangXian, Mythology, Canon-Typical Violence, Canon adjacent setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort) (link in #2)

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15. Hi! ITMF soulmate aus? Not in the cultivation/zhiji sense, but in the fandom sense. Think red thread of fate, a clock counting down, not seeing color until you see them, leaving a colorful mark on first touch, having their words written on you, etc. I have perused the compilation list but I want more more more! Wangxian, Chengxian, Xichen/Mingjue, Mingjue/Wuxian, really anyone/anyone, canon or modern, angsty or fluffy, all is good! I am just really craving soulmate stuff right now. Thank you!!

Catching Your Reflection Passing By by Suspicious_Popsicle (T, 9k, wangxian, sort of but not quite a soulmate au, Magical Realism, Urban Fantasy, pov switching) I didn't tag it as a soulmate au bc it's technically closer to magical realism, but Catching Your Reflection Passing By has strong soulmate vibes

leading tone by silencemostofall (G, 32k, WangXian, Modern AU, Soulmates, with a lil twist, Eventual Happy Ending, Music, Orchestra, [Podfic] Leading Tone by silencemostofall by Beria1021)

the heartlines on our hands by occultings (microcomets) (E, 47k, wangxian, Soulmates AU, Angst with a Happy Ending, Mutual Pining, First Time, Canon Divergence, Canonical Character Death)

ashes by besanii (G, <1k, wangxian, Canonical Character Death, Canon Divergence, Angst, Soulmates AU, Hurt No Comfort)

First and Last by kat8cha (T, 3k, LXC/JGY, wangxian, Angst, Soulmates AU, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, NHS and LWJ are minor parts, Tragic Romance, Hurt No Comfort)

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16. I'm in the Mood for a fic where Wei Ying's parents' death wasn't a simple night hunt but planned or something of that nature. @iuocean

Wind Rose in the Clouds by PaidSubscription (E, 202k, wangxian, Slow Burn, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Canon, Canon Compliant, Getting Together, First Time, Eventual Smut, Fluff, POV Alternating, Literal Sleeping Together, Cuddling & Snuggling, Mystery, Good Kid LSZ, LJY for President, Chief Cultivator LWJ, Junior Quartet Dynamics, Inventor WWX, Explicit Consent, Communication, WWX Works Through His Trauma, LWJ Has a Cuddly Bedtime Agenda, And a Keep WWX Warm Agenda, Plot Twists About Canon Plot Holes, WWX's Parents' Deaths Were Not an Accident, Emotional Healing, Epic Fill-in-the-Canon-Blanks Adventure Mystery Plot But Wangxian Being in Love is the Main Course, Angst with a Happy Ending)

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17. I am in mood for A) fanfic where wangxian got separated by misunderstanding or broke up but later they will reunite.

B) Or where Wei Wuxian knows lan wangji loves him and it didn't change anything...like Wei Ying dies and reincarnated

17A)

Honesty is the Best Policy (Except if You’re an Asshole) by piecrust (E, 22k, WangXian, College AU, Porn with feelings, Angst)

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If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***

[chronicallyillphoenix]

Im losing my mind. I have one spot on my arm, like the size of a nickel to a quarter, that hurts *really* bad. But only in that single spot. It feels like someones driving a pencil through my arm. But it only happens at night. It happens basically every single night. But still, only at night. It doesnt make any sense to me why it would hurt only at night. Im not even using it. I cant even tell if its the muscle or the bone thats hurting atp. I want to say bone bc of how localized and how deep and sharp it is but idk. Im losing it

[yukidragon]

Sunny Day Jack - Some Things About Mary

You know, it occurred to me that my ideas about Mary Phoenix have evolved a bit since I first introduced her, especially since I decided to make the reincarnation storyline canon for Sunshine in Hell. Why don't I point out a couple differences that I referenced in some subsequent posts that talk about her?

Content Warnings: There will be talk of death, murder, chronic illness, fatphobia, toxic family relationships, drug usage, sex work, and other such heavy topics. There's also some good old spicy OTP fluff and smut to offset the darker stuff, and maybe a little writing if the mood takes me.

@channydraws @earthgirlaesthetic @sai-of-the-7-stars @cheriihoney @illary-kore @okamiliqueur @kurokrisps

As alluded to in this short fic - Grand Pas de Deux - Mary is the one who got Joseph the part of Jack in the SunnyTime Crew Show. Much like when Alice comes across Jack purely by chance when she finds the tape, Mary stumbled across Joseph while he was hitchhiking on the side of the road - as shown in this unnamed fic.

Instead of working with the art department of the show like the initial ramble about her, Mary is on the writing staff, though she did make drawings of characters for the show when developing the idea.

Sunshine in Hell's continuity differs from the game's demo in a number of ways. One of the biggest divergences is that Mary is the person who came up with the original concept of the SunnyTime Crew Show. In fact, the character of Sunny Day Jack was inspired by Joseph. Whenever she hears the nickname "Sunshine" she thinks of him, for obvious reasons, and he always managed to brighten up her day, so "Sunny Day Jack" felt like an appropriate name for the character.

Sure, Mary could've used a star motif to reference her nickname for Joseph - Starlight - but that felt too personal, in a way, too much like she was just writing about Joseph. Sunny Day Jack is a character based off of how warm and cared for her friendship with Joseph made her feel. The character isn't actually him.

Until, you know, she managed to pull some strings and get him the part in the upcoming TV show.

It sort of all fell into place when Mary came across Joseph again. He had nowhere to go, next to no money to his name. He was willing to do any sort of work he could get. Of course Mary wanted to help him out, so she encouraged him to try out for the part. It just so happened that they were working on the casting call, so the timing was perfect.

Despite Joseph's uncertainty that he could get the role and worries that he'll do right by the child audience, he nailed the audition. Sure he was nervous, but he was desperate to succeed. It wasn't just that he needed the job to survive, but he needed it to stay close to Mary. He couldn't let anything separate them again after he finally found his sunshine.

Joseph was a bundle of nerves before the audition, but Mary managed to bolster his confidence.

...

"Hey," Mary whispered, causing Joseph to flinch and the script to crinkle in his fist. She offered him a sympathetic smile as she placed her hand on his arm. "You're going to be great. I know it."

With that, Mary got onto her tiptoes to give Joseph a quick peck on the lips before throwing him a wink. "Knock 'em dead, Starlight."

For a moment, Joseph could only stare in wonder at Mary. It still felt like a dream that she really was there in front of him after all this time. He reached out for her, ready to pull her in for another kiss to reaffirm just how real and warm she was when he heard his name being called for his turn.

Well... his current name. It was going to take him some time to get used to being called James Haberdae.

But that was fine. Joseph, James, Jack... it didn't matter what name he used. All Joseph needed from his old life was standing right in front of him, beaming like a sunny day. Mary's smile lit up the whole world and gave him hope that things were finally going to change for the better.

"I won't let you down, Sunshine," Joseph said as he gave Mary his sunniest smile. Reluctantly, he let her go, but only for now. It was show time, and the world was waiting to see him as Sunny Day Jack.

...

Needless to say, Joseph nailed the audition. ;3

Mary wasn't the only writer on the show of course. It's common for there to be a lot of writers for a TV show, even if there's one writer who came up with the initial concept for the story and characters. I strongly suspect that this lovely lady to the left in this artwork Sauce shared with us is the show's original creator in the game. In Sunshine in Hell's telling, Mary befriended her as a surrogate aunt or mother figure after she and her family moved away when she was a teenager. This lovely lady who shall remain nameless helped Mary in a lot of ways that her own parents didn't, including helping her develop the concept and character ideas Mary had into a TV show pitch. The show wouldn't have happened without her help, so she's one of the head writers.

That's all say about that particular character in this post, or the blond in the picture with her on the right. After all, the current demo that has a scene about these two is in closed beta right now for kickstarter backers and members of the patreon. No spoilers here, folks!

Well, no game spoilers. I'm spoiling the heck out of Sunshine in Hell on this blog.

Another difference between the game and Sunshine in Hell is the factor of chronic illness in the narrative. Mary and Alice both suffer from the same unnamed chronic condition. While in the present it's for the most part manageable, aside from the occasional flare up, in the 1980's, it was entirely an unknown ailment. There was no name, and thus no real treatment.

Doctors aren't necessarily the best at dealing with unknowns. They can also be pretty judgmental, taking one look at a patient and writing them off. It's even easier to write someone off when they're chubby and blame all their woes on their weight. Just lose some pounds, and the pain will go away, they're keen to say, so they don't see why they should waste their time.

Needless to say, Mary hasn't had the best luck with doctors. Between being told she wouldn't live to adulthood when she was a child, painful tests and experimental medications, and doctors basically blaming her for being sick and in pain, she's for the most part had to deal with things on her own. That means gritting her teeth and forcing herself through the day, taking painkillers when it gets too much for her to handle.

It's hard enough doing work for an average job, but a studio like LambsWork works their employees to the bone. Hours upon hours of overtime, often without any extra pay to show for it. The actors aren't the only ones being worked to the bone. Scripts need to be written, details for sets, costumes, guests need to be brought in and catered to, and all sorts of things that force Mary to have many late nights.

It's too much for Mary, but she can't give it up. This might be her one and only chance to make it, to really share one of her stories to the world. She had dreamed of writing and publishing a novel, but this is so, so much more. If she lets this opportunity slip through her fingers, she'll never have another one like it ever again. She has to make this show work. She has to put everything into it, even if it costs her health.

But that's something Mary is used to at this point. She's learned to deal with the pain, to push through when she's suffering. Her parents always claimed she was exaggerating the pain, overplaying her illness, even faking being sick at all to get out of work, so she had to learn how to push through the pain.

That's another reason why Mary can't fail. She can't let her parents be right about her being a lazy failure.

Mary is low contact with her family, citing the show as reason for it. Her mom and dad are narcissists, so they're satisfied with her success, as it reflects well on them as parents. They're happy as long as they get something out of it, like money, reputation, connections, etc.

Really, it's the period in time when Mary has gotten the most "love" and approval from those two. It's another reason why she can't let the show fail.

Mary is aware her parents aren't very good people. She has been for a while now, but... she still loves them. It's so hard to let go of a relationship when there are some happy moments there, times when she can let herself believe the lie that this is simply how families are. This is what love is... or at least love of a family.

It's the connections Mary makes outside of her family that shake up that perception. First there was Joseph's friendship that blossomed into romantic love. Then there was her mentor figure I mentioned earlier who became more of a mother to her than her real mother. Now she has other friends she's made while working on the set of the SunnyTime Crew Show. The actors and others working on the show are all so nice and sincere, not just Joseph. They become like a big family... one that feels more like a family than Mary's ever was.

Though Mary still can't quite cut off her parents. It's not that easy.

It's that found family and not wanting to let any of them down that pushes Mary so hard. She winds up pushing herself too hard. She takes over the counter painkillers on the daily, knowing that it's not good for her in the long term. Least of the issues with taking them all the time is their diminishing effectiveness. They take away less pain over time as she pushes her body harder and harder to its breaking point...

Mary and Joseph do wind up living together and taking care of one another. He's aware that she's pushing herself too hard, downplaying her own symptoms and pain. He sees how often empty medicine bottles appear in the trash can and hears the whimpers she can't contain when she's struggling to sleep at night.

Joseph wants to protect Mary, but there's little he can do to take away her pain. He helps her as best he can with taking care of the house and the cooking, but he's overworked as well. There's promotional gigs, autograph signings, interviews, filming episodes, rehearsals... Their days are so busy that often times they're left exhausted by the time they get home late at night, too tired to do more than just lie in bed in each other's arms.

That isn't to say that they don't steal a moment or two in their busy lives to make love. Mary might be on the aroace spectrum, but the pleasure Joseph makes her feel allows her to forget the pain she's in all the time, at least for a little while. Joseph, with his high libido, is only too happy to show her love in the most intimate of ways.

Well... after he gets over a bit of guilt. Though Mary did greet Joseph with a kiss when they reunited, and they resumed their relationship right where they left off, it didn't erase the years that they were apart... or the things Joseph had to do to survive life on the streets.

As I mentioned in Jack's section of the big Love and Sex Headcanons post, Joseph had to do some pretty unsavory things in order to survive. Though he puts up a good confident front, even to himself, this man has many insecurities underneath his bad boy looking exterior. There's some guilt that he went looking for love in someone else when he was separated from Mary, and those relationships always ended badly. He also sold his body, exchanging sexual favors for as little as a roof over his head and a meal for a night.

Not to mention the other awful things he did in his past, such as the reason why he ran away from Haberdae High...

Joseph is unclean, at least in his opinion. He's been told he's worthless, not good enough, and other insults... and he embraced that out of spite. He hurt people badly, caused harm he can't undo, sold himself for cheap, allowed people to use him and then throw him away...

In a way, Joseph doesn't feel worthy of Mary... but damned if he's going to let her go ever again.

Things change for Joseph once Mary finds him. His life takes a turn he never expected, brings him hope and light when he struggled to find either. For all his fears that he won't do right by the kids after all he's done, he finds his groove right away, connecting with the children in ways that he never thought he could. He worries about hurting Mary again, losing her again, not being worthy of her after all he's done... he worries about letting her down and the friends he made, the children who admire him.

Mary shows Joseph love and unwavering faith in him that he never felt even for himself. She helps him see that there's more to him than he ever realizes, and he so badly wants to be the man that she believes he is.

Joseph didn't want to push his sexual urges on Mary at the start of their relationship, determined to take things slow and do it right. He had extra pressure from learning that she was still a virgin... and guilt because he was not.

They were each other's first kiss, but Joseph slept around with many, many other people while Mary did not.

Despite this internalized self-loathing, Joseph did his best to be better for Mary, and for himself. He wanted to be the man that she saw him as, the special wish come true that she always said he was for her life. He'd grant her every wish and make her the happiest anyone could ever be. He'd protect her from the world, from illness, and even from his own darker urges.

Joseph did his best to hold himself back, which led to plenty of awkward boners to hide before they finally progressed to the point of making love. More than once he felt as if he was going to go crazy with how badly he wanted her, while also feeling guilty about lusting for Mary like some animal in heat. He was extra careful and delicate about their first time, worshipping every inch of her body and making sure to repay all the love she gave him.

One good thing about all his experience was that Joseph knew how to pleasure his partner very well. Mary was surprised that her first time wasn't painful like she expected it to be (aside from chronic pain, but he made her forget about that for a while too). He practically turned her into a quivering pile of goo by the time he was through with her. He couldn't stop after just one round, not after how many times he had gotten blue balls waiting until they were both ready for this.

Joseph might not have the empathy powers that share all his horny feelings during this time period, but he can still encourage Mary's libido to increase the old fashioned way. Though he takes the lead most of the time, he's very happy when she initiates. He gets quite the guilty thrill when his sunshine gets a bit jealous and possessive of him.

What Joseph has with Mary is such a different feeling from the dismissive relationships he had before that only saw his body. He's not a piece of meat to her. He's not property paid for. She makes him feel irreplaceable, like someone worth waiting for, someone to miss and long for. She cares deeply for what he wants and is so tender and loving...

Joseph desperately wants to be someone worthy of all the love Mary shows him.

He is even more desperate not to lose his sunshine again.

The rumor that Mary died when they were in high school might have been false, but that memory of loss still haunts Joseph. It comes to mind every time she has a flare up. He's left helpless but to just offer comfort and do what little he can while she whimpers and cries, praying that the pain passes soon...

The doctors are useless. Joseph gets so frustrated by their condescension and bumbling. He wants to save up money to take care of the both of them, give them a better life, and actually find someone who can actually do something about this damn illness. They're just sticking their thumbs up their asses and shrugging their shoulders while giving gormless looks as they suggest another test, another specialist...

And the bills just keep racking up.

It doesn't help that so much of their time is taken up working. Joseph worries about how hard Mary is pushing herself, how her attacks are coming more and more frequently. He sees her pushing herself too hard even while she tries to smile through the pain. She tries to be optimistic, saying there's nothing they can do about it, so they've just got to push through. He can see that she's given up on finding answers or a cure. He can't give up. He won't.

Mary hates that she worries Joseph so much about her health, especially since it seems so hopeless. She tries not to acknowledge her own worries and fears. There are times when she nearly breaks down from the pressure of keeping the show together and her fears that her body might be dying and the doctors are clueless. Is this symptom a sign of something dangerous or more of the same? Are they missing something all this time? Can they really afford to throw away more money just to get more apathetic shrugs instead of answers?

Stress leads to vices. Joseph drinks more coffee and alcohol to make it through. He keeps trying to kick the cigarette addiction, as it costs a lot of money they need for other things, but every time he does, the withdrawal symptoms get bad, and he has to take a puff to feel normal again. He tries at least to not smoke around Mary since he knows cigarettes are poison to the body, and she's already in delicate enough health as it is. She's his biggest motivation to quit, while the stress of his job the biggest reason why he can never quite manage it.

It's not just Joseph who falls victim to vices to make it through. Mary hates the taste of coffee but chokes it down like medicine in the morning to make it through the day. She avoids alcohol to not mess with whatever medicine she's currently on to keep the symptoms down, and sometimes she has to drop the coffee too if it interferes with the medicine.

Coffee isn't Mary's biggest vice. She tries different medications, sometimes prescribed, but most often just over the counter painkillers. Taking them too much lessens their effectiveness, and with the job pushing her harder and harder, her health is only degrading, forcing her to take more than what is safe.

Eventually, the over the counter meds aren't enough. A "friend" at the studio, one of the higher ups above Mary who runs her ragged notices her struggling and offers some "help."

Mary was no stranger to trying new types of medicines. The doctors all failed her, often times giving her things that resulted in side-effects that made things worse for her. The pain was getting worse, and she was desperate to feel better... to keep the show going and to be a success.

Mary never thought she would ever take illicit substances. Drugs are bad for you and lead to a dark road, she knew it from all the warnings teachers and even television gave her while growing up, but... she was already starting to break. She was barely holding things together for Joseph, for her friends, the show, the people counting on her, her parents...

They're just some pills, she's assured. A pharmacist friend of the "friend" is certain they're effective. Just try it and see.

They help. These pills from a sketchy source work better than anything Mary has ever tried before. She feels good for once, better than ever. The pain disappears for a while, and she's energized, happy. Why the hell did the doctors never prescribe these to her?

Unfortunately, as what happens when taking pills regularly, it stops being quite as effective. The dosage needs to be increased after a while to get the same high. The side-effects start to cause further issues, particularly as the dosage increases. The body gets strained, and the withdrawal symptoms of going without are agonizing.

Joseph does find out about the pills eventually... and he's far from happy about it, or what they've done to Mary.

Yes, Mary gets addicted to drugs. Show business unfortunately has a habit of doing that to people. The "friend" took the drugs recreationally and shared the "fun" with Mary.

The sad thing is Mary likely turned down things like this before when they were offered as a "party favor" at some gathering. Doing drugs to chase a high never tempted her. It was suffering and desperation that pushed her to make one of the biggest mistakes of her life.

Between drug usage, stress, pushing her body to the breaking point, chronic illness, and other such factors... Mary's health degraded. It was only a matter of time until her body couldn't take it anymore.

Joseph's murder was the breaking point for everything. When he died, a part of Mary died with him, along with all her hopes and dreams. For all the struggles, they did hope for a future together where they could live happily together... maybe raise a family. Even when they were forced apart years ago, she always kept that little hope in her heart that maybe someday she'd find him again.

This time... there was no finding him again. Joseph was dead. He was gone. Forever. Her starlight, her other half, her wish come true...

As if to rub salt in the wound, the studio ended the show. Not only that, they buried everything about it. They erased it... as if it never happened. As if none of the effort and pain and sacrifices ever existed at all. All of her work, Joseph's work, her friends' work... all reduced to ash. LambsWork recalled merch, tapes, etc. and destroyed them, erased the very name of the show, its characters, and those who worked on it from everywhere money and connections could reach. There was no internet to allow for independent archiving.

LambsWork produced new shows, created new distractions. The world moved on to the next big thing. The coworkers Mary and Joseph had grown to love were silenced by NDAs and threats, and were forced to move on.

Mary hoped to create a story that would live on after she died. When she got that death sentence from a doctor as a child, it was her one goal in life, to leave something of herself behind. Now it was gone... as was the person who loved her more than anyone else in the world.

Her wishes, her dreams, her love... it was all dead.

What did Mary have left to live for?

Without hope, Mary lost the will to live. She stopped fighting. The damage that had been done to her body was too much, and the wound to her heart simply refused to heal.

The friends she made when creating the show came to see her. They offered what little support they could in her final days, but they couldn't help her. No one could.

Her parents never visited her even once. They distanced themselves from her the same way LambsWork did. What good was she to them now? Their child helped them get connections in the entertainment industry, but she could do nothing for them now. She could have done more for them to actually be useful to them for once in her life. They wouldn't even bother with her "theatrics" after that "hooligan" died. Good riddance, they say.

It's a tragic ending where good people suffered terrible fates while awful people lived on, pocketing their ill gotten gains as they moved on without so much as a backward glance.

Of course I'm not satisfied with this sort of ending, so I'm decreeing that karma does get all these assholes eventually. I'm not quite sure how just yet, but I like the idea that the Phoenix parents eventually learned the meaning of regret, even if they never learn what it means to actually love anyone else but themselves.

Trust me, I'm gonna make sure they get some form of payback, as well as Joseph's neglectful and abusive parents.

As for LambsWork and the people there... their karma will also come as I develop more details of the story and flesh out more characters. It's developing, though slowly, as I admittedly keep getting distracted by fluff with my OTP.

Naturally, karma comes back around for Joseph and Mary in the form of Jack and Alice. It won't necessarily be an easy road for them, but the two of them will make it work in their next lives. The game might have multiple different endings, with some probably ending in a lot of gore and guts, but Sunshine in Hell's ending will be a happy one where Jack and Alice get to have the bright and shining future that was stolen from them.

Yes, that future does include babies ever after. Jack worried he would be bad around kids, but he eventually becomes the best daddy a child could ever ask for, and the best partner Alice could ever ask for.

Alice might wonder if someone as good as Jack could actually be real, but he's going to remind her that he's always been her wish come true. This time, nothing is going to stop them from achieving their dreams and being happy, together.

Although, if you would rather see a kinder world where Mary and Joseph don't have to wait until their next lives to have their happy ending, here's an AU where they manage to reach their golden years together.

I think I'll wrap things up on that warm and fuzzy note. I hope you enjoyed reading a bit more about Mary and Joseph and their entanglement with LambsWork Productions.

[mzminola]

Reading oodles of blogs' Percy Weasley tags and came across the idea of Percy becoming a werewolf sometime during the canon plot, and okay, I see the drama and emotional arc potential...

But as soon as I saw "werewolf Percy" my brain immediately leapt to him getting bitten as a kid.

We know Voldemort sent werewolves after people in the first war, that Percy was around five years old when the war ended, that Arthur worked for the Ministry and was against basically everything Voldemort was about, and that Molly's brothers were in the Order of the Phoenix.

So...yeah, final year of the war, either as outright revenge or fulfilling a threat when coercion failed either against Arthur or the Prewett brothers, V sends a werewolf (probably Greyback) after the Weasley kids, and Percy's the one to get chomped.

This just. Completely changes the family dynamics.

How is Percy gonna keep an eye on the younger kids, when he needs to be separate from everyone every full moon? Does he overcompensate as The Responsible One the rest of the time, or has that role not been pushed on him as hard?

How do Arthur & Molly handle interactions between the kids? Especially rough-housing? Percy's got a magical chronic illness now, a growing collection of scars, and possibly feeling ill in the days/before after the full moon (I can't remember how canon that was). But with all the stigma around werewolves, they're not well understood; how paranoid are all the adults about Percy scratching or biting one of the other kids during normal sibling tussles?

I think it's the extra-canonical materials that said the Lupin family moved a lot to avoid anyone figuring it out, but the Weasley's aren't doing that. They've got an established house with seven kids, they're not packing up to leave, and the Diggory & Lovegoods might be a bit far for a walk, but not by broomflight. Do the Weasleys try to isolate in their little plot of land, to avoid neighbors figuring it out, or do they just become super strict about allowed interactions? Do they make up an illness?

I could see them deciding to be strict about interacting with the Diggorys but lax with the Lovegoods, because if Xenophilius starts claiming the middlest Weasley child is a werewolf, no one believes him.

Dumbledore likely showed up immediately in the aftermath (or as soon as he heard, depending on how well hidden they kept the attack) to give the same offer of education he gave the Remus Lupin.

Alternatively, what if they can't keep it secret, because the Death Eaters told everyone? It's supposed to be a way to keep everyone scared, after all.

And of course the details of how Percy in particular got bit affect things. Was he outside when he wasn't supposed to be? To retrieve a lost toy, to get something from the garden, to fulfil a dare from an older brother? Did one of the adults miss a headcount? Did little five year old Percy throw himself in between a younger sibling and the big scary monster?

I think the most positive thing for everyone involved would be for Dumbledore to convince Lupin (because you know he wouldn't intrude on his own) to befriend the Weasleys. Lupin gets a new support network after his old one catastrophically imploded, Percy gets a role model, and Molly & Arthur get a third adult in this mess.

[raccoonfallsharder]

I think I just realized based off of one of your reblogs that one of the biggest reasons I like Rocket so much is because his backstory is too fucking relatable for me

i have too many reblogs to know which one you are referring to but

i think a lot of us who love rocket do so because some part of us relates to him. i'm not saying that we feel like we are rocket (though some of us probably do) but there's a sorrowful number of people out there who know what it's like to feel unloved, unappealing, unworthy; who have been convinced (or who have convinced ourselves) that we are too ugly or petty or small or flawed to be truly accepted or to deserve acceptance; who have been alone for so long or hurt so bad that we fear togetherness; who have gifts that have gone unappreciated by those closest to us; who have had our trust betrayed by those who should have protected us; who have held ourselves up to impossible and arbitrary standards. and that's not even beginning to count those of us who have chronic pain, chronic illness, visible or stigmatizing injuries and appearances, visible or invisible disabilities, and/or just don't feel at home in our own bodies. it doesn't count those of us with some version of survivors' guilt, or those of us who have felt like we used to have people to save before we failed them.

maybe this is why (imo) the folks in the rocket fandom so often to prove to be some of the kindest and most empathetic folks on the internet

when i (we?) write rocket getting an opportunity to heal - to give kindness or love and to be able to receive it - i heal something in myself, too. selfishly, grandiosely, i hope i get to offer a little healing to other folks, too.

and. beautiful blazing bby firebird. not to be, like, combative lol but tbh it's not surprising to me that someone who identifies with the idea of a phoenix would also identify with rocket. literally his whole arc is about rising from the ashes

anyway all this to say, rocket is deeply relatable and you are in very good company if you relate to him, darling sunshine. and i believe in you. i believe that you'll find ways to overcome the things you've gone through. i believe you'll work through the impossible standards and self-doubt you've placed on yourself, and the bad things that were done to you by others. and i believe that you deserve good things - like connection and community and joy. and if you don't already know that - if you're not yet at the end of your volume three - i believe you'll get there someday too. and if you DO know that, then i'm so glad your dog days are over, bby.

[sir--crow]

Some days I feel like I'm dying

tw: chronic illness, death and mortality

some days I feel like I'm dying

stripped of my muscles and vigor, I lay in my bed spinning. mind in a haze as I try to pull myself together.

desperately I try and collect the mist of my mind, my life, pulling it into a ball that I could maybe create into something new.

something solid

but just as mist does, it fades away, never to be anything but a breeze. dreams of tangibility lay on a distant horizon that maybe the wind will take me to.

but it won't.

I'll open my eyes and find myself staring at the same ceiling, laying beneath the same blankets, and still stuck in the same skin that resembles that of mist.

I fear that sometimes if I were to stand, my legs would crumble like ash. my arms would try to catch my fall, only to fade away like dust.

my body is intangible.

my mind is a haze.

so I lay here and feel like I'm dying.

because as the world spins with my mind crumbling, and my body creaks like splintering wood, I begin to feel the life within me ebb away.

siphoned like water through a tube.

sucked away like dust within a deafening tornado.

it's truly nauseating, to feel my stomach churn as my body crushes me to my bed.

I yearn for days past.

days that I would run with no fear of collapsing. where I would write with no fear of forgetting.

where I would live with no fear of dying.

but as I reminisce of those days past, my memory fails me once more. sentences accumulating fade within a second. words typed bleed into the others. smudged like ink on the scrapped paper of my mind.

some days I feel like I'm dying.

I repeat what I say.

I can't remember if I've said it.

I don't want to be forgotten so I say it again despite the looks of confusion.

I say my words with power, knowing that though they might have already been heard, I want to hear them again for my mind doesn't remember them.

some days I feel like I'm dying.

I stare into my reflection.

unrecognizable to the person I thought I was.

my skin pales against the white light, blue veins bulging under my skin.

shadows paint my skull. they burn into my skin. burn under my eyes with a deep fatigue that crushes my bones.

my eyes have lost their color.

the world appears grey.

muted.

my lips are cracked and pale, always dry like a dead plant yearning for just a drop of water.

but like that dead plant, I too feel like I'm dying.

and someday I will. I'll fade into the earth and crumble like ash.

maybe I'll be born again like a Phoenix. my skin will burn with color and not shadows. my eyes will be brighter than the sun. my lips will be warm with a smile never tainted by that of illness or fatigue.

but for now I lay here, staring at my phone with my mind a blur. words that I type fade like a distant echo, and once more I write them again. again. again.

until they feel like they've been said enough.

I dream of days past, and yearn for dreams to come. yearn for a life that feels lived.

I yearn for days where I can escape this cage of a bed. to let my feet ruffle through the dewy green grass. let my hair flow with the breeze, and skin warm against the sun.

to speak to others and feel heard. to connect with another and feel desired. to live a life and feel remembered.

some days I feel like I'm dying.

but some days I feel like I'm living again.

though my legs shake, threatening to crumble, and my heart races as if it might give out, I take one step further.

I take two steps.

three.

four.

until I feel like I'm running again.

my hands itch with a craving to write. my mind cracks open like rays of light shining through a storm of clouds. shining down onto my desires and dreams. my thoughts and memories.

I run. I write. I remember.

so that even though today I may feel dead, tomorrow I will feel alive.

tomorrow I will feel alive.

tomorrow I will feel alive.

[sparkylurkdragon]

Phoenix the cat update:

So the antibiotics didn't work. He very helpfully provided another stool sample this morning before I took him in for monitoring... still no yuckies in it.

They're now thinking he might have an inflammatory bowel disorder, especially since he's otherwise very healthy. We're going to try him on some steroids and see if that helps. If it does, he may need to be on them the rest of his life.

The Lurkdragon household continues to collect chronically ill critters, it seems! (Urist has a urine crystal problem, controlled with food, and I have MS.) I'll be picking him up in a couple of hours.