miraevanlynch

[miraevanlynch]

Look I think I said it before somewhere but I need to talk about it again.

Aziraphale (in the show - his characterization differs in the book and I’m talking about show Aziraphale here) is a soft character. He started out as a soldier and he made the conscious decision to give the sword away to someone who would use it for protection, instead of keeping it to fight (leaving out the whole thing about War owning it later on cause that’s a different topic and definitely wasn’t what Aziraphale had in mind when giving away the sword). He also makes a conscious decision to look and act as non-threatening as possible, instead deciding to look soft and huggable and gay as hell a tree full of monkeys on nitrogen oxide. We don’t see him fighting anybody even when he gets the sword back - he just holds it and swings it around a little, he doesn’t even lift it when they face Satan (I think. I’d have to go back and watch again but I’m fairly sure he just stands in the background behind Adam with the tip of the sword facing the ground).

We know, or at least suspect from the scene where he fixes the hole in the wall that he’s physically strong and we know he’s still technically a soldier in Heavens eyes (Gabriel going „you’re a lean mean fighting machine“ and him having and possibly leading a platoon in Heaven) but he fully rejects that position in episode five to go back to Earth. He doesn’t want to be a soldier at all. He’s still a protector, we see this in season two with Jimbriel (he literally says „I said I would protect you and I will), but even THEN he doesn’t physically fight the demons entering the bookshop (he lights the circle but it’s Maggie and Nina throwing fire extinguishers and encyclopedias).

I know we as the fandom love badass Aziraphale. I love badass Aziraphale as well. I take a little bit of an issue with how him actually being badass is portrayed in fanfic sometimes because a lot of trying to make him physically fight demons comes across as trying to make him more masculine, more fit, less the campy, soft, kind character that he is and it annoys me. (A part of that is also how people try to make him more like Crowley, which I don’t like the undertones of either but that’s a whole different topic.) Both because I don’t like the implication that to make him badass you have to change that part of his character and because we’ve seen him being badass in the show already and it was either a) trying to protect humans/Crowley/Jimbriel, which involved a lot more threatening that him actually throwing hands or on one occasion b) him being bitchy (Furfur pronouncing his name wrong). It was him being kind and caring about people and their lives! And possibly their reading skills.

And I know there’s a lot of hope for more badass Aziraphale in season three, because hell yeah, Heaven getting obliterated from the inside? Absolutely. But when we get to see BAMF Aziraphale in season three (because I don’t doubt we will, in some form or other) I’d much rather see him be badass by outsmarting Heaven (magic tricks anybody?) and getting away with it or threatening the Metatron or whatever than by punching somebody in the face. And IF he does have to use physical violence, then I want there to be a reason for it and I want it to be portrayed as a bad thing. Like I want I to be the absolutely lowest point of the character because we know how much he detests doing it and he hates having to do it anyways.

In that case also want it to end with the Metatron dead in a ditch.

[miraevanlynch]

📜METATRON’S MESSIAH RECIPE THEORY📜

You thought I’d stopped replaying the grueling ending of episode 6? Nope, quite the contrary. I’ve watched it so many times that I’ve come up with a new conspiracy theory about Metatron’s motives and Aziraphale’s choice at the end of season two. This is just my speculation, so read it for entertainment. The article is very long, so please bear with me.

“Does anyone choose death?” – Metatron.

Surely, you’ve asked the same question as I have: “Why Aziraphale?” Why our angel, a “traitor” to his side, a low-ranking Principality, often seen as foolish, weak, and despised by his colleagues, was chosen by Metatron to become the Supreme Archangel, second only to God?

I’ve read many theories suggesting that the position of Supreme Archangel is merely titular, that Aziraphale will become a puppet in Metatron’s hands, allowing him full control. By separating the angel from Crowley, their combined strength would be diminished, ensuring the “Second Coming” goes smoothly without any hindrances. This theory made sense to me until I remembered the “Book of Life,” capable of erasing any entity with a single stroke.

And Metatron, the angel with full access to that book, could easily have erased Aziraphale and Crowley’s names, making them never exist. This indicates that Metatron’s plan goes beyond merely controlling the Ineffable Husbands' miracle; perhaps the scheme to separate them is deeper. Aziraphale and Crowley might actually be crucial to his plan, not just obstacles Metatron wishes to eliminate.

Anyone here read Frank Herbert’s Dune or watched its film adaptations? If so, you’d recognize two things:

1. Faith is the most powerful soft power, capable of wiping out armies. Nothing is more fearsome than an army of fanatics with unshakeable faith.

2. To have unity, you need religion and ideals. For religion and ideals to exist, you need an epic, a legend about “the chosen one.”

In season two, Heaven is depicted as highly fragmented, with Michael and Uriel vying for the Supreme Archangel position, Gabriel’s memory being wiped, and even Saraqael and Muriel aiding Crowley, a demon and their common enemy. Heaven is experiencing a severe personnel crisis, possibly even worse than Hell’s (at least Hell isn’t plagued by infighting).

As the King of Angels, overseeing Heaven, what should Metatron do to address this urgent problem, especially with the “Second Coming” looming, and both Heaven and Hell preparing for a great war? A disunited heavenly army lacking faith and bickering over personal gains is not what Metatron desires. He needs to unify them before the Holy War to ensure victory.

Metatron realizes the angels need a new leader, someone to rekindle their dead faith in God, unite them under one ideal, and lead them to a vision of heaven’s ultimate triumph, performing miracles no other angel can.

That’s when Metatron decides to go to Earth to find Aziraphale.

But why Aziraphale? We haven’t answered this question yet, have we? Why must Aziraphale become the Supreme Archangel, why is he “the chosen one”?

Simply because Metatron saw extraordinary qualities in him. The qualities of a heavenly “Messiah.” But what are the qualities of a Messiah? And what specifically has Aziraphale done to fulfill them? I’ll list some rather coincidental, perhaps eerily coincidental, details to support the idea that Aziraphale fits the messianic archetype, or even Jesus Christ.

To become a savior, one needs:

1. To perform extraordinary feats that no one else can: Jesus walked on water, prophesied, and healed. Aziraphale, in Heaven’s eyes, is the only angel who survived hellfire (like Paul Atreides surviving the Water of Life in Dune), prevented the Apocalypse, and persuaded the Antichrist, Adam. He understands human ways and Earth, something the other bureaucratic angels can’t grasp.

2. To have high ideals and absolute loyalty to the Almighty: This is evident in Jesus. For Aziraphale, it’s his unwavering faith in Heaven’s inherent goodness, his belief in God, and, crucially, his desire to reform Heaven’s corrupt bureaucracy that oppresses low-ranking angels while the higher-ups fight each other. (This echoes the plight of the Jews under harsh rulers and their prayers for a savior like Moses or Jesus. In Dune, the Fremen yearn for their Lisan Al Gaib to lead them to a Green Paradise. Angels are akin to the Jews or Fremen, longing for faith and salvation.)

3. To be compassionate, bearing the world’s sins: Jesus bore the hatred of the very people he sought to save but always forgave their sins. In Dune, Paul Atreides endured severe trials on Arrakis to earn the Fremen’s trust. Similarly, Aziraphale, despite Heaven’s mistreatment, holds no grudges and is ready to reform it for a brighter future for all.

4. To be “betrayed” by someone trusted and willing to sacrifice everything to save the world: This is the interesting part. After Metatron targeted Aziraphale, who bravely asked God about the Great Plan (in season 1) and fought for his ideals, he likely planned to turn the angel into an epic saint, a true religious leader for his military ends. Remember Metatron’s question at the café:

“Does anyone choose death?”

The answer is yes. The Messiah chooses death to save everyone. Jesus chose crucifixion, knowing it would redeem the world. Paul Atreides drank the lethal Water of Life to become the Mahdi of the Fremen. And how do you push a saint into such despair, making them endure all pain to highlight their virtues, leading people to follow them and unite under their faith?

Every story needs a villain to highlight the hero’s virtues.

And both angels and demons hate traitors.

Jesus was betrayed by Judas, his close disciple, whom he trusted, someone with latent evil but whom he always forgave. Judas wanted a violent revolution, a physical liberation, contrary to Jesus’ “spiritual revolution.” Judas betrayed Jesus with a kiss.

And Aziraphale, excited about realizing his ideal of improving Heaven, was “betrayed” by the one he loved and trusted most, someone seen as a sinner but always recognized for his inner goodness. Crowley preferred “physical freedom” by fleeing to the stars, rejecting “freedom of thought,” which required resolving all potential threats. Crowley betrayed Aziraphale with a kiss.

After enduring all physical and mental agony, our Messiah will leave the mortal realm, forsaking all worldly pleasures to return to Heaven, where they save all beings.

So, from the perspective of other angels, the story of a “Messiah” Aziraphale with miraculous powers, grand ideals, a compassionate heart ready to forgive all sins, willing to bear hatred, pain, and the ultimate betrayal to lead everyone to a New Heaven, is skillfully crafted by Metatron. This legend will spread among the angels, inspiring them to follow their Supreme Archangel with renewed faith. They’ll believe in God again, more united than ever, ready to wield their flaming swords against Hell. Michael and Uriel will no longer oppose their new leader, and no angel will doubt this propaganda, as they lack the knowledge of manipulation, and they’ve been subservient for too long.

By then, Aziraphale has completed his function, whether he resists or tries to stop it. It’s too late, as the angels only need a legend, a prophecy to believe in. Aziraphale has become that legend through Metatron’s orchestration. Like Paul Atreides, he becomes an unwilling saint, a Messiah without a choice, manipulated by those behind the scenes like the Bene Gesserit or Metatron. They only need a story, someone to ignite faith for battle. Thus, Heaven has a battle-ready army with unprecedented resolve for the Great War between Heaven and Hell. Metatron has achieved his goal. Perhaps the protagonist of the “Second Coming” isn’t Jesus or any other son of the Almighty but rather the return of the once-militant Heaven, which banished the fallen angels to Hell. Heaven will return to Earth on Judgment Day with their Supreme Archangel, who understands humanity to commence the reckoning, wielding enough power to face his hereditary enemy, the First Sinner, the Serpent of Eden, new Prince of Hell, who betrayed him with a kiss…

It will be a terrifying prospect.

Aziraphale only wanted to bring Heaven to Crowley. And now, he has brought “Heaven” to everyone.

Nothing lasts forever, nothing IS forever.

And that’s Metatron’s recipe for creating a Messiah, by Heaven’s most powerful weapon – Faith.

END.

[miraevanlynch]

Song: I can fix him (no really I can) - Taylor Swift

[miraevanlynch]

🎊🎂HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAVID TENNANT🎂🎊

I think its too late but at least I wish him all the best

[miraevanlynch]

So, I was thinking about how Gabriel says “wherever Beelzebub is” is his heaven, and Beelzebub says the same thing back, only they say wherever Gabriel is, that’s their hell. And it’s honestly cute and sweet, but I also find it funny because obviously both heaven and hell suck. But I was also thinking about the look on Aziraphale’s face when Gabriel says that, how it clearly resonates with how he feels about Crowley.

So, I started thinking, what would their equivalent sentiment be? Because neither of them particularly like their respective head offices, after all. It simply wouldn’t have the same effect for them to say those things. In fact, it might have the opposite meaning for them.

And then I remembered “to the world” and it hit me. They love the world. That’s the whole point. They’re against Armageddon because they love the world. They love humanity and they love music and they love dining at the Ritz and fine wine. And most of all the love sharing those things with each other.

So, no, Crowley is not Aziraphale’s heaven and Aziraphale is not Crowley’s hell. They’re each other’s world.

[miraevanlynch]

That's what I actually think, AND GODAMMIT IS FUCKING HURT

This scene was absolutely beautiful BUT it’s also the crux of the issue. You guys this is where the problems start. Because—because Crowley’s already cast out, he finds COMFORT in the idea that they are lonely together. “As far as he can” becoming “as far as they can” is an END to his complete “otherness” and something to appreciate, to covet, and to find solace in. He’s finally not alone.

But—and this is important.

Aziraphale does NOT feel that. He can’t.

This moment is completely and utterly devastating for Zira. He finds out he’s not damned and sure, he’s relieved. But he’s no longer “an Angel” in the way that he’s learned is right. He’s now unchangeably and forever; less holy—a concept that is dearly important to his identity. “[Going] along with heaven as far as he can” is a FAILING on his part. Not heaven’s(at least to him). There is no solace or comfort—he finds existence like that—just the two of them—achingly LONELY. And that’s just how his perspective demands to be taken. It’s the only perspective he is capable of in that moment AND after it, too.

Take into account Crowley has went from having no one AT ALL to having SOMEONE. And he puts EVERYTHING he has into it. This is not good. It’s unfair to Aziraphale. And it’s unfair to himself. On the opposite side, you have Aziraphale. Who has just went from having the ENTIRE HEAVENLY HOST, to having this SINGLE demon— who, one minute ago, Aziraphale thought would be dragging him off to hell.

And the part that aches is that this perspective hasn’t changed. Aziraphale feels like his existence is lacking because he wants so badly to be GOOD. And good is Holy. Good is heavenly. He’s the problem for having morals that are misaligned.

Spoilers for the last episode:

Aziraphale has just been given the validation that he is not only GOOD but the most HEAVENLY Angel there is, the Supreme Archangel, even. And if heavens morals are now HIS morals, then that’s EVERY PROBLEM SOLVED. With a bow even, because Crowley’s basically on heavens side anyway, he’s GOOD, isn’t he? He’s been good this whole time, so why wouldn’t heaven want him back? Reinstating him as Angel would fix everything. They can be together, and they can be good, and they can be HOLY. All Aziraphale’s conflicting emotions about loving Crowley can be packed away because Crowley will be perfect again—and surely Crowley wants to be perfect—wants to be forgiven.(sorry everyone, that hurt me too, oof) Aziraphale is SHOCKED by Crowley’s refusal. He’s devastated that his version of perfect is treated as something naive and distasteful.

Crowley’s devastated too. He’s just lost “their side”. A concept that for 5000+ years has been THE ONLY THING he puts love into besides his car and perhaps his plants(And humanity, but he’ll never admit to that—I’m looking at the “No more dying” scene). Crowley is constantly being devastated by Aziraphale. He’s “too fast”, he’s too evil, he’s too good sometimes. Crowley has always been TOO MUCH. But this is different because for four years, he’s had “them”(on their own side) without the hiding, and without the denial and without Aziraphale constantly putting former jobs between them. PLUS he has a mountain of trauma centered around the concept of “forgiveness”, so that’s not great considering Aziraphale’s last words to him(THAT HE HASNT SAID ALL SEASON EVEN WHEN HE MADE CROWLEY APOLOGIZE IN THE FIRST EPISODE, AHHHHH). He’s losing everything and he’s desperate: Why isn’t he enough, hasn’t he been enough these last 4 years? Hasn’t HE been enough the last 6000?

Aziraphale has always been enough for Crowley. But being enough for Crowley doesn’t fix how Aziraphale has never been enough for himself, not since Job. He looks at this offer as a chance for HIM to be enough, and for Crowley to be FORGIVEN. Crowley looks at it as a betrayal because it’s Aziraphale saying Crowley ISNT enough, and he NEVER has been.

But that’s not what Aziraphale is saying. He’s saying, “Let me fix it for you”. Crowley is hearing, “Let me fix you for it.” Two completely different and completely horrifying concepts.

And then Crowley needs to say HIS piece(oh my gosh, btw, this was heartbreaking).

“Let’s be together on our terms” is basically what I’ve distilled it down to. But Aziraphale hears, “Let’s run away from our problems”

Aziraphale doesn’t want to run away, and Crowley doesn’t want to change who he is.

They both want to be together so badly but they don’t understand why they each want it so differently. And Aziraphale can’t compromise because he’s brainwashed and LOATHES himself. And Crowley can’t compromise because he’s traumatized and LOVES Aziraphale just as he is. Crowley doesn’t want to be good on heavens terms. He can see Heaven for what it is; “toxic”. He hates heaven not only for what the Host did to him, but for HOW THEY TREATED Aziraphale.

They both don’t understand each other because for all the pleading and presenting and monologuing, they never once in that whole conversation, actually talked.

[miraevanlynch]

GUYS !

I've been angry since yesterday on Tumblr, Tiktok and Twitter, it's just too much. I think Aziraphale's choice is reasonable, even though it hurts, but based on what they say angels don't love Crowley, then their relationship is toxic, and then make up all kinds of theories bla bla bla in order to save themselves from their grievances and denying their reality. They do it like the way heaven deceive themselves into thinking they're good people, I just find it selfish, childish and shows that they are helpless with themselves, like they have no place to vent their emotions so they turn into blame people, even some people say very bad words, insulting the character and even Mr.Neil. They clearly don't love this series, this angel, they only see it as a place to vent their unstable emotions, until the ending makes them unhappy, then they turn their faces and curse, toss Aziraphale's figure, bla bla bla. It's like how heaven causes angels to fall when they can't satisfy with what they doing, they curse Aziraphale for choosing heaven, but themselves just behave like that heaven!

As for the Coffee Theory, I personally don't like it very much, I feel like it reduces the value of the choice Aziraphale made (Choose heaven to protect the world, protect Crowley even at the cost of sacrifice his life in Earth, that Crowley might not be with him anymore, but the angel still chooses to keep what he loves most alive, acting like a truly saint he is, I find it perfectly fitting character), making it less sublime. Maybe Aziraphale's choice is wrong, but its starting point comes from the great love inside angel, that he is willing to sacrifice his personal happiness, willing to endure hurt, loss and bear All the misunderstandings to protect this world, this humanity, and Crowley the one he loved most. Even at the high cost, it was enough to show that Aziraphale was an admirable, deserve praising, and appreciating character. He lived like a saint in the true sense of the word, not like those selfish people who only think about their own interests. At this point, if anyone still hates Aziraphale, I can't help but say one sentence: "The one who suffers the most is Crowley, but he still waiting and respects Aziraphale's decisions even though it hurts, That act is enough for you to follow the example and learn for all your lifetime, you pathetic rude 😏!"

All please! How much bitterness I put into this post! 😤

[miraevanlynch]

✨CROWLEY'S RANK THEORY BEFORE FALLING ✨

Maybe Crowley is a Seraphim because there are 4 Seraphims flying around the god, but only 2 have been identified as Metatron and Seraphiel, Lucifer aka Samael is said to be the 3rd, and the 4th is still a mystery.

But I think Crowley is not Seraph because he doesn't like to work in the choir of heaven, flies around the god all day and sang : "Holy holy holy", is terribly boring, but in the season 2 we see him creating the universe, he has a lot of knowledge, so in my opinion he is Ophanim responsible for enlightening and manifesting God's creative power (Creating the stars), giving mankind the knowledge of God ( you know, Crowley feeding Adam and Eve with the forbidden fruit ) and being entities of imagination and constant awareness of what is around them ( Crowley always asks questions ). Ophanim is associated with the image of a flaming wheel constantly moving and changing shape (it suits Crowley so much) and what makes me support this Theory the most is that the Ophanim are said to have a special and intimate relationship with the Cherubim. The Good Omens Prime twitter account just dropped a little Easter Eggs in the short video at the beginning of episode 1 that Aziraphale used to be a Cherub since the universe wasn't created, so we can see why Crowley and Aziraphale got bundled together, that's my hypothesis.

I'm not sure, because after two days of struggling with the last 15 minutes of episode 6, the thing I wonder most is Crowley's angel rank. So I googled for documents and came up with this theory, actually at first I thought Crowley was the Vitures (the ones who monitor the stars and the universe) But this rank is lower than Domination, so I think Ophanim is the most reasonable, and Ophanim is a lower rank than Cherubim (which explains why Aziraphale knew the universe would be destroyed after 6000 years and the pre-Fall Crowley don't ), but also strong and powerful enough to open the Gabriel's information file, and more importantly why Metatron and Crowley doesn't seem to like each other (imagine how stress a CEO's chief secretary would be when the Director of Designer kept asking him questions about the Project he worked on, then ask you to submit a recommendation to the general boss, raise hand to refute you in the project announcement meeting, while you are just the face of the boss and can't decide anything but implementation, while that Designer can do what he like and refute petitions all day long) Metatron must have been so bitter about Crowley, he didn't like that dandy devil, because he couldn't do anything to smite Crowley? ( angels of the same Rank all have equal strength and power, more or less hierarchical in being closer to God or not).

This is just a hypothesis that I came up with and drew from the details in the series and the Bible, so it's best to wait until SS3 to see how awesome the Pre Fall Crowley is, whether attached to Seraphim or Ophanim, Crowley still deserves the award for the coolest entity (simpest entity) in the universe 🔥😈

Thank you for reading !

[miraevanlynch]

Season 1: Season 2 :

Anthony J Crowley Agony J Crowley

[miraevanlynch]

*Aziraphale came to Crowley at St.James Park after realizing the true nature of heaven*

Crowley *sarcastic voice* : Aren't you the supreme archangel in heaven, why are you here Now? Got demoted?

Aziraphale *worried, trembling whisper* : Gave it away...

Crowley *immediately turned to Aziraphale, gaping in surprise* : YOU WHAT !?

Aziraphale *turns to Crowley, looks at him with pain and regret, screams* : I GAVE IT AWAY !... I... I QUIT MY JOB !

God I need this conversation in season 3

[miraevanlynch]

Spoilers 2

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Love of my life, you've hurt me

You've broken my heart, and now you leave me

Love of my life, can't you see?

Bring it back, bring it back, don't take it away from me

Because you don't know what it means to me

Love of my life, don't leave me

You've taken my love (all my love), you now desert me

Love of my life, can't you see? (Please bring it back)

Bring it back, bring it back, don't take it away from me

Because you don't know what it means to me (means to me)

You will remember when this is blown over

And everything's all by the way (ooh, yeah)

When I grow older, I will be there at your side (ooh)

To remind you how I still love you (I still love you)

Back, hurry back, please bring it back home to me

Because you don't know what it means to me (means to me)

Love of my life

Love of my life

(Ooh, ooh)

[miraevanlynch]

Spoiler

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Aziraphale...Why...

WHY