#it's fine it's all fine i'm glad people are talking about asexuality more

[unnecessarilygrandiose]

me seeing everyone talk about how great it is that isaac is bringing more asexual rep to tv while completely forgetting that he's also aromantic and that the word aromantic was probably uttered for the first time ever in mainstream television: this is absolutely fine🥲

[rapha-reads]

IWTV rewatch

Season 1 episode 4 [The Ruthless Pursuit of Blood With All a Child's Demanding] - part 2/2

- [Claudia] "We do like mortals do. We fight, we eat, we laugh, we sleep, we love. And then the phone rang last night. And all the easy times stopped." - ooof. How to destroy familial domesticity: bring back the real world.

I love, love, loooove Louis' coldness and casual cruelty at his mother's wake. And looooove the family solidarity. Oh, Daddy Lou's fighting with his sister? Time to show our fangs and have his back.

- Oooh, a Lestat and Claudia scene! Dad teaching his kid all the true, important ways to make it in the world. And accidentally making her realise some things she'll never get to have, stuck as she is as a young teenager. But the blood kinda makes up for it tho.

- "Uncle Les says I gotta practice killin' both the one and the plus one at the same time, but I came away understanding something else tonight. I can't quite put it into words, but it's like something opened up in my head, in my body. I've been 18 for 7 months now, and it's time I started acting like it."

Aaaaand there it is. Happy hunting indeed. Happy until the reality hits back...

"I've lost my appetite, I can't sleep!" - welcome to hormones. Can't say I know first-hand what you're going through but good luck. Oh, no, but this is waaay too adorable. The giggling and the skipping and the flowers and the staying on the balcony waiting for Charlie to look up...

- "Everyone in my family looks younger than their age." - yeah that's one way to put it I guess.

Aaaand exit Charlie, pursued by a terrified horse. Taking this opportunity to say a lil something about how book!vampires are basically asexual in the way that their desire and pleasure express themselves through the blood, blood drinking and blood sharing. While the show being a visual media for a modern audience decided to make human sexuality also a part of vampire sexuality, all while keeping the blood as this irresistible force and the source of everything. Don't really have an opinion one way or another, except to say, please we need more asexual representation that still shows that ace people can find and express desire and pleasure outside of sexuality.

- Lestat taking on the ugly role of teaching Claudia about control and how it's hard for vampires to make lasting connections with mortals... Parenting's hard.

- [Louis] "Vivid writer, isn't she" - I'm kinda glad we don't get Claudia's own words about Charlie's death, knowing the writers they would have given us another lyrical prose that would have made us all bawl our eyes out.

The way Daniel is visibly impacted and heartbroken reading Claudia's diaries: he is deeply compassionate. And you can't read people and write about them without a certain level of compassion and even empathy. "Anne Frank meets Stephen King" indeed.

- [Louis] "Claudia was... everything." - ouch. Break my heart, won't you. It's the way Louis is physically struggling to talk about her, the way he needs the pebbles of his zen garden beneath his feet to anchor himself solidly enough to talk about her.

- "It's funnier when they fight in French. And diary, you'd think a girl whose mama died in childbirth, whose daddy gave her away to a mean old auntie who beat her 'cause no one said she couldn't, who died in a fire but came back by the blood magic of two demons, well, you'd think that girl wouldn't know what funny was. But you'd be wrong, diary. And if I told you, dumb diary, that that same girl was being raised to kill like her demon parents did, to take two souls a day so she could stay in the same flat-chested, hairless-crotched 14-year-old baby doll body as her mind and spirit turn 19, 20, 25, 63, 358, you dumb, dumb diary, I bet you'd say to anyone who'd listen 'Fun? Fun? How does she even get up in the morning?' Well, let me tell you something, you stuck-up, flower-covered, three-dollar fancy fucking paper diary, I'm doing just fine. And how do I know that? 'Cause the first man I killed called me the devil, and the last boy I killed, the last boy I'll ever love in this world, called me an angel. So that means I'm on the right path. And that means there's so much more fun out there to have. I'm just getting started."

THE INTENSITY, DAMN.

The crescendo of Claudia's voice overlayed by the music and echoed in the angrier and angrier words. Wow, I need a minute.

Between the "losing my mind in the coffin" scene, that "madwoman in the attic walking down from the attic" scene and the "the sun is a deadly laser" scene, someone needs to give Bailey several awards. And the writing team needs these awards too.

Show!Claudia actually has a backstory, not very detailed but still there, a miserable, painful human life, 14 years of misery and pain - she had a life, she had experiences before becoming a vampire; unlike book!Claudia who was 5 when she was turned, told Louis she couldn't remember her human life before being Louis and Lestat's, and doesn't have her own narration in between Louis' recollections.

Here, the addition of the diaries to the way the story is told not only allows a third party, a third perspective that's no more and no less of an unreliable narrator as Louis' voice, but it also, and I think more importantly, allows for Claudia to speak for herself. She isn't anymore just a footnote in the messy romance of Louis and Lestat. She is her own person, in her own narrative, with her own agency and life. And that's a huge difference between the two versions of Claudia: eternally-5-year-old Claudia couldn't have her own agency, no matter that she was really 40 in a child's body, because that child's body was more of a damnation, a cage, than a teenager's body. At 14 and with make-up, fashion, body language and speech, Claudia can make herself look marginally older, and thus can reclaim some of that agency, of that control. Therefore the issue comes not from the fact that Claudia needs at least one adult to have that agency by proxy, but from the fact that she might never pass for older than 18 and will be taken advantage of. As we'll soon see.

Also she was right, last boy she loved, but not last person, we stan a bisexual murder deranged queen.

And I did tell Lestat, that roof window is a structural failure.

Well, welcome to the Claudia show. That was one hell of an entrance. Crowd's seated for the next part, "Claudia goes Wild party in the Mississippi".

episode 1 | episode 2 | episode 3 | part 1 | episode 5 | episode 6 | episode 7

[life-of-an-asexual]

Hello. I hope you and the other mods are doing okay. I want to talk about an experience I had a few months ago that I didn't really have the proper words to talk about it back then. I don't really have all of the right words now either, but I feel more comfortable talking about it now. It's an experience that I find confusing, and kind of aromantic or asexual, but I don't know exactly how to define it. I went on a date a while ago with a guy I met on Hinge. We decided on it kind of spontaneously, but he seemed really sweet and I enjoyed talking to him, so I agreed to go out with him. We went out for dinner, and then to a comedy show, by a comedian we both are big fans of. I had a good time on the date, and I enjoyed the guy's company, he was very sweet. But I didn't really feel anything more than that. When I told one of my friends about how my date went, I told them it was good, and they immediately started asking me if he paid for dinner, if he dropped me back, and if he kissed me (he didn't kiss me, which I'm glad about because I didn't want to). I do genuinely appreciate how courteous and kind the guy was to me, but what really confused me (and kind of annoyed me), was the implicit romantic pressure behind all of these gestures, because I just viewed his actions as a courtesy and politeness. I was also kind and courteous to him, and I know my friends meant well when they asked me these questions, but I don't understand why I was expected to feel so strongly about a guy after only one date. I joked with my friend that I had more feelings for the comedian than my date, and honestly, that's kind of true. I really didn't think...anything about the date I went on other than it was nice. I just need some reassurance that I'm not overthinking this and maybe some advice about whether or not I should try dating again or not. Why are allo dating expectations so confusing?

so wayy back in the day, in high school, before i realized i was an aroace enby, i started hanging out one-on-one with the guy who would later be my boyfriend. my dad said "that boy is trying to date you" and i said "what you're insane lol we're just hanging out" and he said "you're a boy and girl going out places together just the two of you" and i said "your antiquated ideas of gender and sexuality are showing" and he said "has this boy been paying for things?" and i said "yeah so what sometimes you pay for things and sometimes the other person does that's called FRIENDSHIP old man" and he said, again "that boy is trying to date you" and i laughed in his face

anyway, it turns out the guy WAS actually trying to date me and was, in fact, under the impression that we WERE dating for several weeks before i clued in. in my defense, he never tried to hold my hand or kiss me, so how i was supposed to know?? he wasn't doing anything i hadn't done with other friends. why should his gender and the fact he paid for things make a difference??

the point of this is that Heterosexual* Dating Culture has always been something beyond my comprehension and i definitely sympathize with your situation

( *i use "heterosexual" here to refer to heteronormativity, which includes the standards of gender roles, bioessentialism, monogamy, allosexism, and sexnormativity)

as for dating again, it's honestly up to you. i ended up dating that guy for almost two years, and i never developed sexual or romantic feelings for him, but i appreciated the relationship that we had. i've dated one other person, a girl i did have romantic feelings for, and that lasted about five months and i really enjoyed it. i've attempted dates with a couple other people and was not particularly inspired by the experiences. it's been over a decade since i've tried it out and i've been just fine

you can try whenever you feel like it and then stop trying when you don't. i'm afraid i haven't got much better advice than that lol. in the meantime, try not to let the allos get you down

~Mod Q

[heyftinally]

I had such a weird experience this past weekend while celebrating my friend's birthday, and I kinda want to ramble about it because I think asexuals of tumblr will get it, and my friends don't have the same experience(s) to get it.

So our characters in this story are K, H, A, and myself. K and A are bi, H is straight, and I'm pan/ace.

So it's, like, 11pm and we're playing drinking games (namely kings cup). And the people around me are VERY comfortable in their respective sexualities, which I'm fine with and glad for. They were all respectful of the fact that I haven't had nearly the same experiences they have, nor was I comfortable with the same things they were (at one point they were sharing a picture around and told me "you can see it if you want, but I don't think you want to", which was true).

But it struck me about halfway through the game truly just how weird my situation is.

I'm a sex favorable asexual with purity culture trauma, which is basically a fancy way to say I'm a hot fucking mess (/lighthearted).

I have no interest in one night stands/hook ups/friends with benefits/etc. I'm very much a "long term monogamous committed relationship" kind of girl. I'm closer to the the demi/grey/fluid side of asexuality (I actually recently found the term acesymmetrical, which perfectly describes me). But when I *do* get to that point in a relationship, I have a VERY hard time talking about it even with my partner because I have so much shame left over from christian purity culture. Even now, what I'm talking about is 100x easier to say from behind a screen with a level of anonymity.

So sitting around while everyone talks about their kinks and one night stands, I'm in this painfully awkward situation where I know a lot of the things they're talking about in theory only, and even admitting that much feels incredibly shameful, even though logically I know it's not, and I have no judgement towards my friends who are more promiscuous than me. Hell, I'm all for hookups if that's your thing. Be safe, don't get a baby, a disease, or murdered, and have fun. But I can't extend the same thing to myself.

And it's just such a profoundly weird position to be in. I'm not allo enough to participate in the the conversation, but I'm not ace enough to be completely removed from it, and I'm too ashamed of my own feelings to participate even if I want to. I can talk about my asexuality no problem, but ask me to talk about my *sex*uality and I would rather give a TEDtalk that I only had three days to prep for.

So yeah, that was my weekend. I had a fantastic time, but being made so starkly aware of my unique experience like that was...not really the way I'd hoped things would go. I don't like that I'm so complicated, and I don't like that I feel like I can't participate in completely normal conversations without feeling like my face is on fire. I'm proud of my sexuality, but it would be nice if my trauma could get fucked and stop making everything 1000x harder.

[youeverjustmarryabountyhunter]

Today is the 1st day of prideeeeee!! So we're gonna talk about sexualities/relationships to expect and stuff for the Not The Tea Au!

Let's start with Boba! (My baby) Boba is aroace! When Boba first came to terms with that he freaked out, a tad terrified before Rex just gave him a look and bluntly informed him that he had to have gotten it from somewhere. After that, Boba confided in his father to which Jango told him that he didnt care, and all that he wanted was his baby loved. Hower he got that love didn’t matter. That being said, Boba has no romantic love interest. (Obvi) He does indeed have a platonic soulmate though! (a few tbh) Who? None other than his number 1 fan, ride or die, best friend Fennec, of course! He and Fennec are very close, and have see each other through thick and thin. If something were wrong? These two have each other on speed dial. (She teases him about the brief time he dated Han and asks him if that turned him aro. She knows that's not how that works, but it's still funny.)

The asexual train leads us tooo- Jango Fett! (the love of my life) While Jango is not aromatic, his view on love has always been

"If it happens its happens, if it doesn't that's fine."

He was raised by a single father, and doesn't remember all that much about his biological parents or their relationship. (They were great loving parents, just fyi! Arla talks about them and tells him stories) So he's never been the most concerned with finding his forever person. (Romantically he's interested in just about anyone gender wise) That in mind, he's always wanted kids. (Mando genes) But, relationships are tricky things, and finding a partner to settle down with was iffy sooo....He took matters into his own hands. (Jaster STILL isn't quite sure where Cody, Rex and Boba came from. And at this point, he's too afraid to ask) When Jango meets Obi-Wan for the first time...its not exactly love at first sight but he definitely found the man intriguing. It was never more than a crush, though. And then, about a year later, life hit the Fett household like a train and well...romancing Cody's teacher was the LEAST of Jango's worries. Once everything settled down though, and realizing just how much of a help during this time Obi was, and how amazing and loving he was with the kids well, let's just say that crush was a tad more than a crush.

Tgats our segway into Obi, our Bisexual king. Similar to Jango, Obi developed the slightest crush on the man upon meeting him. All in all though, his focus was on his students and getting to know them! He already knew a little about Cody simply because Ahsoka and Rex are best friends, but getting to know the family on a more personal level was nice. When tragedy struck, Obi-Wan offered a his help in anyway he could, trying his hardest to try to make sure Cody wasn't overworked with school. After all of it died down, Obi-Wan found himself getting to know this family more and more and it's safe to assume that it developed into more than a crush.

Padme, Anakin, and Rex are all also bisexual.

Han identifies as unlabled. He likes who he likes.

Din is Demisexual. (He and Cobb do eventually end up together raising Grogu)

Fennec is bi with a heavy female lean.

Cody Echo, and Cobb are all gay.

Fives, and Ahsoka are pansexual. (And Lando but he doesn't have a bit role in the story)

Fox's sexuality is 'sleep & coffee' (he doesn't label himself and he's not exactly looking for a relationship but he's into both men and woman)

Alpha-17 is AroAce just like Boba.

I've been drawing more of this au (hopefully I'll post some soon!) and I have some scenes written/plenty of scene ideas it's just a matter of putting pen to paper. (Or fingers to keyboard in this case) Hopefully I'll post again soon, and I'm glad to see people enjoy this au as much as I do^^

[insanely-lovely-and-random]

Okay, finally got around to starting the Wednesday series and honestly was a bit frustrated at how nearly 98% of people talking about this show is just romance. The pairings they think are good and the ones they think are bad and I was honestly like God will I even enjoy this??

I can say firmly say I don't ship Enid and Wednesday, I love a good cutesy gal and goth chick as much as the next person but I got such mega hard friend vibes. And thats fine, it's a beautiful slowburn friendship and cute as hell by the end. I honestly get miffed when people are like look at that hug! Way more chemistry than she had with Tyler and Xavier and I'm like... well yeah. She's acquaintances at most with them throughout and Enid has become her real friend. And newsflash FRIENDSHIP IS ALSO A FORM OF LOVE. I honestly get sick of people writing out affection as automaticly sexual or romantic. Friends love eachother too, for Godsake. Plus Enids lil romance with Ajax is cute as hell. Let them be.

Now as for the two guys Tyler and Xavier I obviously don't ship them with Wednesday. Again acquaintances at BEST. They have little chemistry and the whole thing seems pretty one sidedly made up in their heads. Sill super glad they are put into the show because to tell the truth I kinda like that angle tbh, because men ARE like that. Signals he says when this girl literally just been deadpanning him the whole time. And Xaviers honestly just seems kind of entitled about the whole thing. A case of nice guy syndrome mixed with a bit of popularity entitlement.

Now I could end this whole thing with a piece saying how it doesn't need romance at all or that she's asexual or etcetara etcetara... WELL WRONGO! Oh don't get me wrong those options are fine too but nooo what I want? What I really reallyyyy want???

I WANT A CLASSIC HATE TO LOVERS TROPE WITH BIANCA GODDAMIT! That girl is stunningly cool, it does the popular girl and outcast romance but SO much better. They're both way outta Xaviers league for damn sure. They both have mommy issues. They have chemistry, a competitive vibe. As a pair they would be THE power couple. Plus Bianca could totally trust Wednesdays feelings cause I'm pretty sure she's hardwired to be immune to that kind of feeling manipulation. It's all glorious.

And hell they're making a season 2 a gals gotta have hope! (Plus she is called BI-anca, it's literally in her name)

[silly-scribbles]

When did you first realize you were aroace? Do you not like the idea of intimacy? I’m struggling to figure myself out, so I always appreciate a take from someone similar!

I'm glad you asked! Being aroace is a bit of a weird sexuality orientation, so I'm more than happy to shed some light on it.

I personally realized when I watched JaidenAnimations' "Being Not Straight" video she posted about a year ago (I'll link it at the bottom). The way she described her journey with realizing she was aroace made me stop and go "huh, that's kinda like me". Then it kinda all spiraled from there, and eventually I decided to come out as aroace.

For those reading this post who might not know, aroace is a term short for aromantic-asexual, meaning I feel little-to-no romantic or sexual attraction to people. Now, this can be different for everyone. Aromance focuses more on disliking the romance part of the relationship (holding hands, kissing, cuddling, etc.), whereas asexuality focuses more on disliking the sexual part of a relationship (ex. all of that). You could be either one, or both, like me. As Jaiden described, there are people who feel a lot of romantic attraction to people but little sexual attraction to people and vice-versa. I feel neither, which is why I'm a combination of the two, but you could feel different. And I know people who are aromantic or asexual and have partners they love dearly. Just because my experience is different doesn't mean yours has to be too. So keep an open mind!

I don't really feel anything when it comes to these things, to be completely honest. I've never had a crush on someone, nor have I cared for finding a partner. I've never cared to go to school dances or talk about how hot someone is. I just don't care. The thought of kissing someone, holding their hand, cuddling, sleeping together, any of that makes me uncomfortable. Like, incredibly uncomfortable. The thought of sex; an immediate no. Get me as far away from that as possible. Absolutely not. The term "romantically repulsed" often gets brought up when talking about stuff like this. That's me. I look at romance or any of that stuff, I go nah, that's not for me, which people find weird. Society has kinda engraved into our brains that we have to find love, we have to get married, there's no way someone can be happy without it. That's not the case. At all. I can find happiness other ways.

For one, platonic relationships are big. People often assume aroace people don't have feelings, like, ever, but that's completely wrong. I can love people platonically just the same as you can love people romantically. Just because I'm friends with someone doesn't mean we have to date each other. Heck, like I stated earlier, I know people who are aromantic and asexual and they're in relationships. Just because we might not want to kiss you, or hold your hand, or cuddle, or any of that doesn't mean we don't love you the same. I have fantastic friends I love so very dearly, but I don't need to be in any sort of romantic state with them to make that feeling better. Just because we might feel uncomfortable doing those things doesn't mean we're heartless monsters without feelings. You might feel uncomfortable doing specific things with someone, too, and that doesn't make you a jerk. It doesn't make us one either.

Growing up I've always felt some sort of disconnection from the world. Like I didn't fit in. This, obviously, is because of numerous reasons, but one is definitely because I'm aroace. I felt there was something wrong with me when I didn't have a crush on someone, or I wasn't making a list of things I hoped for in a partner, or I just... wasn't in a relationship at all. I see people platonically more than I do romantically, and actually usually freak out if I feel someone likes me in a romantically (because I sure as heck do not see them the same way). For now, I think I'm fine being partner-less in life. I have friends, and even if I didn't, I'd still be okay being on my own. Romance, sex, all of that, it just ain't my cup of tea. And if it's yours, that's okay.

Here's Jaiden's video btw. Highly recommend. She does a better job explaining things than I do. And if you're still unsure, that's fine! These things take time.

https://youtu.be/qF1DTK4U1AM?si=OyRmNVW4LimKErqQ

[gaydennisreynolds]

Lately I'm seeing tumblr fandom "history" posts about IASIP by emberphantom and sunnyontheside and it's showing a curiosity in me I didn't know I had about this topic. Can you also share about the older Sunny fandom from what you know? I'm only joining since the podcast started so I don't know about the changes. (Sorry if I sound rude, English is not my first lang)

hi anon <3 you don't sound rude don't worry!

I was on sunnyblr the first time around 2014/2015. There were very few active sunnyblr blogs at the time and the show was only up through season 9 so less content to discuss. It was like 10 of us passing around insanity. I remember one of the biggest sunnyblrinas had a url like trashboat and went by the nickname bio or something like that. I can't find their old blog and their fics have been orphaned on a03 so RIP fallen soldier....I've been unsuccessful so far at digging up posts from this time period because all of our old blogs have been deactivated for YEARS (mine included). If anyone has any 2014/2015 sunnyblr era posts please tag me I'd love to see them!

As for what we used to talk about: Mac was known to be gay but it was less salient in our discussions about him (remember he wouldnt come out on the show for several more years at this point) and it was like TABOO to suggest that Dennis might be gay. bisexual, sure. But to "gay Dennis truth" was to be biphobic since he hooks up with women. I'm really glad for that big 180 in thinking because I've always been a gay Dennis truther in my heart.

I don't remember shipping being huge? There were definitely those of us who enjoyed macden and made content for it but most of the blogs just posted like gifs and screen caps with overall less analysis / postulating. I think there was a very real fear of being Cancelled for saying something too nice or pure or w/e about these fucked up characters. I think Tumblr ecosystem is much more accepting and encouraging of "dark" content, which includes exploring amoral characters/subject matter, than it was back then. I don't ever remember CharDee or CharMac being discussed back then either. There was a huge emphasis on Charlie being on the asexual spectrum and it was Discourse Worthy if you wrote him as being sexual in any context. Weirdly enough, I remember Dennis/Dee being more socially acceptable and more frequently discussed. The good old days where incest was fine but speculating about sexuality was NOT (lol /s).

I can't remember any big Discourses or Scandals or hopes for later seasons that we had. Overall, I like this Tumblr better -- it's quiet here, sure, and sometimes we all say wildly OOC things about these insane characters, but i enjoy reading speculation posts and savoring the wide variety of macden content available to me. I like the focus on their fucked up dynamics and trauma backgrounds that we have now. We're all definitely adults and have more coherent thoughts about the content of the show, which is a nice change (I was about 15/16 my first sunnyblr time, as were most of my friends in fandom I think). It's nice to see people pick up on what RCG is trying to do with subtexts and references as opposed to taking things at face value. Older sunnyblr was way more like r/IASIP is today, the more I think about it. Way more rehashing jokes from the show and circle jerking about face value stuff like serial killer Dennis etc.

Glirst was still sooooooo real and all the lesbians have always wanted to fuck him. The one constant for now and for forevermore is that Glenn is sexually attractive and all the sexy ladies woobify his evil character <3

[phoenixduelist]

BASICS !

Name / Alias: Jasmine

Pronouns: she/her

Blog type: single muse | Multi-muse | non selective | semi selective | selective | mutuals only | private | other (specify)

Type of muses: canon | OCs | both | other (specify)

GENERALITIES !

Triggers people MUST tag: None.

Interest tracker / checker: I have it and it's mandatory | I have it, it's not mandatory but I'm more likely to follow back / interact with the people who fill it | I have one and I prefer it if people fill it in | I have it but it's to people whether to fill it or not | I don't have one | other: I don't have one but probably should have because the Véghváryverse has gotten out of hand

Reblog karma: I practise it | I practise it sometimes | I don't practise it | I always reblog memes from the source | indifferent | other: the fuck is that

Rule passwords: I have one and it's mandatory | I have one and it's optional | I don't have one | I send passwords | don't sent passwords | when should I send a password?? If I send it while the other person hasn't followed back I feel like I'm being pushy & almost demanding a follow back. If I don't send it and follow them, then they will think I didn't read the rules.

3-5 ESSENTIAL RULES PEOPLE HAVE TO RESPECT

My blogs are +18 only. I know you feel ready and don't know why is this thing so common; I felt the same way. You will get it when you're older.

Don't use Amber Heard as a faceclaim if you would like to write with me. I don't tolerate Johnny Depp slander either.

Like my characters, my writing style is also intense. Grand storylines, deep emotions, detailed fight scenes, serious conflicts. As @erthlyheavn once called the 'genre' (and I'm still extremely honored): Jasminean tragedy.

3-5 IMPORTANT PET PEEVES TO KEEP IN MIND

Tiny ass icons (less than 100x100) with a distorting psd slapped onto it with a fancy border. I CAN'T SEE SHIT. Let alone make out the character's expression. This isn't a dealbreaker though, I just don't understand the appeal of something so microscopic supposing to convey emotions.

Extreme formatting to the point I have difficulty reading it, despite my eyesight is great.

Haven't really happened, but expecting Rozy (or any of my muses) to be immediately down to have sex with yours. She might feel attraction at first sight, especially if the first meeting is a swordfight, but she's a trauma ridden gray asexual. It will take some time.

That being said, treating OC X Canon ships like it's the fucking 8th deadly sin.

2-5 THINGS THAT WILL LEAD TO INSTANT (SOFT) BLOCKING

Porn bots duh.

Blogs without displayed +18 age (I am fine with personal blogs if they are +18)

Terfs, racism, homophobia, Amber Heard supporters etc

Anon hate, unless I'm feeling snappy enough to answer.

2-5 THINGS THAT LEAD ME TO UNFOLLOW / SOFT HARDBLOCK A MUTUAL / SOMEONE I INTERACT WITH

We all know and put in the no racists etc list in our rules but I haven't seen many 'don't interact if you're anti sex work'. So if I see anyone speaking poorly of sex work in general, sex workers of any kind from full time workers to selling feet pics on Onlyfans; saying they deserve whatever treatment because of their line of work, daddy issues/uneducated/unintelligent jokes, use of slurs: get the fuck out of my sight and be very glad I'm not your neighbor. My blogs are all safe spaces for every kind of sex workers.

Portraying pedophilia/rape/sexual abuse in a positive light. It's not the same as having those in your character's backstory, nor if your character has a warped mindset on it due to what they been through. I am able to tell when the mun themselves write it as a kink instead a character's trauma response.

Being soooooo 'anti callout' that they refuse to heed the 20+ page google docs of evidence and still interact with known abusers in the rpc. And I'm not talking about 'they called my friend stupid and have a similar theme as them' petty shit. I'm talking about grooming, pedophilia, slandering, manipulating, doxxing, harassing, stalking. If you let that fly because their writing is good, they make you graphics or for whatever the sorry attempt of an excuse; what the fuck.

Giving me unwarranted, unwanted, condescending criticism about my writing. This doesn't mean I don't accept criticism, far from it. I also ask for feedback from time to time. I don't care how this will sound: I know I'm a good writer. I researched everything, poured history, psychology, years of development, depth, nuances, despite her strengths/talents she is balanced on the power scale (especially with the latest addition of the necessary recovery after pulling her sword fuckery), just very difficult to deal with. You do not get to dismiss that nor try pull me down because you will only end up pissing me off for eternity. Just say 'Our writing styles don't match' and unfollow. No harm done with that. But giving me an incorrect lecture when I didn't even ask for it is one of the very few things that will get you blocked without a word, because I'm still courteous enough to not leave an essay how you had no right & break down why you're wrong in your inbox before the block. Don't make me tone down my writing style and insult me for it because you don't want to/incapable of matching it.

2-5 REASON YOU DON'T TO FOLLOW (BACK) SOMEONE

Writing style and/or preferred topics the other person wants to discover don't or barely overlap with mine.

Shittalking Ocs in the rules like 'canon gave us enough developed characters'. Are we seriously gatekeeping...creativity???

Overly...detailed or harsh isn't a good word for it; but if the rules are like blocking without a word in case of liking too many posts, reblogging a meme instead of the source, sending too many messages etc. Which is fine how you want to curate your space, but I have way too many problems to worry about irl and I don't want to feel like I'm on a minefield where one wrong move is game over forever when I'm supposed to have fun. I'm way too stressed for this.

Even if everything is fine but I don't feel that spark. When I follow, it means I'm very much interested, intrigued in your character, your portrayal and want to throw my psychotic captain & the disaster crew at your muse(s). But there are some cases when I simply can't feel that. And I don't want to disappoint anyone by giving replies without soul in them.

tagged by: fucking stolen what did you expect, this is a pirate focused blog

[youchube]

Coming to terms with being asexual the past two weeks really made me think about how certain past friends really fucked me up and made me question my asexuality for years. I've been calling myself ace since I was 17 but after my first year of college shifted to being more "bi" than "ace" and it became kinda the "afterthought" of my sexuality because of the people that made me question it.

One of the first people I talked about it with was my long time friend I knew since I was 10 who just turned out to be an awful person and I caught her making fun of me coming out as ace to her guy friends behind my back.

Then in college when I basically had to make all new friends from scratch, one of my first good friends really turned out to just want to date me. I did say I was ace at this time but they kept questioning me about it like "uhhh i thought you were ace" and then comments about how "well youve never been in a relationship so how would you know" when I said i was uncomfortable with cuddling/being touched in general. I ghosted them after I confirmed my suspicions when they took me on a date but I wasn't 100% that it was a date until I asked afterwards.

After that I just stopped telling people and shifted to making it very clear with all people that I'm not interested in relationships through roundabout ways. Like telling people not to dm me when I get that vibe.

I didn't really start accepting it again until I actually watched a video on someone figuring out they were ace and everything fit me EXACTLY. Like yes I'm perfectly fine imagining my ocs in sexual relationships but never ME. I have crushes in a "I think they're attractive but I don't wanna pursue or be pursued" kinda way. I get super anxious and kinda repulsed when anyone shows any romantic interest in me. Confirmed that when I forced myself to date and then immediately lost like 10 pounds in 2 weeks from anxiety/nausea because of the idea of doing anything outside of just hanging out with the guy. I'm never lonely because I'm not in a relationship. I'm only lonely when I don't have friends to talk to.

Anyways I'm glad I have better friends now and have people that have accepted it even if they don't really know what it is. Like my mom doesn't know what asexuality is but basically is like "id rather you not date then to be with someone you don't like" and basically fine with me staying with them. My sister figured it out years ago and is also fine with me just living with her and her bf if I ever want to move out.

Unfortunately that's just another thing I kinda have to accept. That I'll probably be living with family for most my life because I don't think I can motivate myself to be healthy/tidy without the presence of someone else living with me to force me into cleaning/cooking...etc. Also living alone in this economy? Scary af lol. If I move out with friends, I shouldn't expect it to be long term ever because they're in relationships and couples usually want to be alone. Especially if they want to have kids or something. I've moved out with a friend before and it was a blast and I managed really well! It's just not something I really expect long term.

Anyways sorry for this super long and personal post I guess LOL. I just have alot of thoughts

[bisexual-horror-fan]

hey bex! i haven’t been using tumblr a lot lately but i am having a little thing that’s bothering me and idk who to talk to. i hope this doesn’t sound stupid but i am (very sure) i am asexual. i do not really want to do anything with another person. but sometimes i feel like a have a month or something that i feel like i am in heat. and feel the need to do something about it myself. which i know is a normal thing to do that yourself but sometimes i even feel bad about doing that. i’m very just lost and i feel like if i do that then i’m fake when i call myself asexual. (also i am a 25 year old female if you were wondering about who sent this)

(also reminder that i think you are very swell and i love this blog and i need to catch up on anything you have written while i haven’t been on this app.)

- 🥶

Well, hey there Ice. Glad you came to me here with this, I love being able to provide support and care when I can. Now, having those wants and urges is totally natural and you wanting to get down with yourself is perfectly fine. It does not make you a fake asexual because it is all a spectrum but also, asexuality is a lack of sexual attraction to people, that is what defines it, not libido. There are ace people in relationships, ace people who have sex and enjoy it and masturbation, ace people who read smut, engage in kink and get genuine pleasure and enjoyment out of it, and this doesn't mean they are any less ace.

I consider myself heavily aromantic in many respects, but I'm married, in a committed, long term, almost eleven year romantic relationship with my husband, doesn't mean I am still not aromantic because I have an exception in my husband.

Just remind yourself that you are allowed to do what you want with your own body, you are allowed to enjoy it to the fullest, you have permission to explore and feel good and experience pleasure. And also, keep in mind, our titles, sexualities, romantic orientations, they are meant to be helpful, not harmful and also, not rigid. We change, we expand, we grow throughout our life times, we gain and shed labels all the time and there is nothing wrong with that. It doesn't mean that you weren't what you said you were at that point, it could very well have been true at one point, and you grow past it at another.

This is totally cornball, but I love it, the moon has phases, and we still think it is valid and respect the moon, why can't you, a living, growing, changing person, also be respected during all your different phases?

Be kind and be gentle to yourself, please. Remember, more often than not we are our own harshest critics.

[thehealingsystem]

The problem with multi-gender and nonbinary identities in Gay and Lesbian spaces is honestly more complicated than either side gives it credit for and I think needs to be talked about in a different way? Like the thing is - what we have currently is a system where every sexual preference and form of attraction aside from MAYBE Asexuality and Pansexuality (kinda sorta) are related via the lens of the person's gender. EG: if you are a Lesbian, you are a person who identifies as female, you are only attracted to - people who identify as female. It's a specific definition but it's entirely gender-relative. In order for 'Lesbian' to accommodate people who don't fit within the binary or are on multiple places within the binary, the definition of what a Lesbian IS needs to change to be compatible with that. But the problem with doing that is the definition of ANY identity becomes a lot less meaningful, and homogenizes a LOT of people with very different needs having very different experiences into one group - and makes it really difficult for ANYONE in that group to get any traction on talking about what they need. You have a tonne of people under one label who are experiencing that label in fundamentally different ways, and speaking about the experience of having that identity becomes basically impossible for anyone - because every experience is so radically different that no one can be heard. Which is why I feel like Instead of having less labels with broader definitions, We need more labels that are more specific and allow people to say "This is who I am, this is what I need." At the very least - we need a new lexicon for defining attraction WITHOUT the gender of the person experiencing the attraction being determined up front, it's maybe not WHOLLY relevant to multigender people but it would just be good if Nonbinary people had a way of expressing who they feel attraction for without ALSO having to gender themselves.

Oh yeah I totally get what you're saying. Honestly I'm glad we've been open to nonbinary identity in gay and lesbian spaces but I think the way we've been going at it is completely wrong

About changing definitions - I think regardless of how a specific group of people use it, the general idea of an identity does not need to change. I think the idea of a lesbian being women attracted to women is completely fine, despite nonbinary identities being allowed to be lesbian. I say this as someone who is way less connected to a fem-aligned identity who is lesbian

I don't think these definitions need to be completely rigid, or just have one definition. Honestly lesbian can be a completely personal experience. I've seen someone talk about colloquial vs personal definitions, and how this is relevant to queer labels. I think the IDEA of what a lesbian is, what we normally think of when using the word lesbian, can just stay the same

The thing is with people trying to change the COLLOQUIAL definition of lesbian, things get tricky. "Non-men attracted to non-men" well what is a non-man? Where did this term come from? Are people okay with being grouped by something they're not? Are all nonbinary people non-men? What about people who are women and men? Is it okay to say that lesbian is all about not being associated with men on any level, at the expense of these people's identity and womanhood?

I don't think it's a good idea to erase lesbian as an orientation involving women. Hell, even just "women and possibly nonbinary people attracted to women and possibly nonbinary people" is way better, though that is a mouthful and has its own problems. I think even if we say lesbian is "non-men," our concept of lesbian generally involving women has not changed at all. I've even seen people say non-men is 'typically women,' so all I see is it defeats the point essentially. It's SUPER hard to change a colloquial definition, it will take probably decades or even a century for people to generally see lesbian that way

There is a history of nonbinary, genderqueer, and gender non conforming people in gay and lesbian communities. Nothing is going to change that. But these are also very personal experiences. Allowing those who may not fit the general idea of what a lesbian is to be lesbian doesn't mean that general idea needs to change, just that we should accept that these are not strict boxes we need to put people in, and rather tools for people to help understand and express their experiences.

And not all nonbinary people are comfortable being put under the definitions of gay and lesbian, despite their experiences being seen as falling under it. I think being a nonbinary gay or a nonbinary lesbian is a personal way of being gay or lesbian

And about making new labels, that totally makes sense. People have already done that! I'm sure if I tried I could find the exact label for the specific experiences these people are trying to describe. Some prefer to use those ones and feel they fit them more

The problem lies in that words like lesbian and gay are already popularized and already well understood by most people. It's easier to say that you're gay than to say that you're toric. And there's also that these people have lived experiences that connect to what its like being gay or lesbian - and that asking them to cut themselves off from these experiences is a cruel suggestion to make

I don't think it's fair to say that a man attracted to men cannot be gay, regardless of woman-alignment. I don't think it's fair to say that a woman attracted to women cannot be lesbian, regardless of man-alignment. This is because of the colloquial idea of lesbian being what it is. They can say it's non-men or non-women all they want, but this is just how people have lived their lives. Not everyone is going to align with one strict definition of lesbian, one that is fairly new and puts people in a box. They have lived their lives as this gender identity, and is attracted to this gender identity, so therefore these are the words they describe that with

So how do we fix this issue? I think just allowing nonbinary people to describe themselves how they want based on personal experience is what's key. No making rigid definitions, or a "one size fits all."

Now I see where you're coming from with saying that if there's so many different kinds of people using gay or lesbian to describe themselves, then there's issues with expressing what that specific group needs. That it would be hard to be more connected to each other, or have a one understanding of everyone under that group. And this COULD possibly be an issue, but I also personally think that the reason people use gay or lesbian to describe themselves universally falls under one aspect - a non-straight, marginalized attraction.

I don't see much of a problem with having a lot of diversity under one label, because the basic idea of the label is the same. I think of course, depending on the person, there are things that they can and can't relate to. A trans gay will not have the exact same experience with being gay as a cis gay. An asexual lesbian will not have the exact same experience being lesbian as an allosexual lesbian. A multigender gay will not describe themselves the same way a monogender gay would. And that's okay! There's beauty to find in diverse experiences and new things to learn about other people

TL;DR: We should allow nonbinary people to define their attraction by however fits their personal experience, without trying to change something about the general concept of that label and keep changing it based on more and more personal definitions. We also shouldn't force them to use or make new labels if they dont want to, as it can feel othering or contradicting to their life experiences

[wolfiwonderer]

I think that makes sense and I don't disagree. The one bit I'll prod on more is "to be [term]" from the first post. I think I just disagree that anyone is [term]. The term can describe you, your feelings, how you want to be seen. I think most people identifying with those terms would also believe that having XY chromosomes does not mean you are a man. Asexual, bi, straight, gender, these are all far less rigid than chromosomes. You aren't any one of these things. There's no sorting hat assigning you to it for all time. How you feel can and will change over time. Asexual is just language. So use it when you want to communicate something to the listener. If today you say you are asexual and tomorrow you say you are straight, that's fine. You have different context or different feelings and used the words that would best describe you in that situation.

I use Straight to explain my marriage and past relationships, Bi for who I think is attractive (not pan because Pan is a disgusting demigod and I want nothing to do with the connotations that word has to me, thank you Greek mythology lol), and ace for what I want physically. But usually I don't say any of them because I don't have a need for anyone but my spouse to know and we don't use short hand. He recently pointed out something very powerful to me - that not only does no one who knows me in real life except him know that I'm asexual in terms of not wanting sex, but that I am not open to talking about it with them. And I'm trying to figure out how I feel about it and if I should identify myself as lgbtq+ or not when I'm asked. But even then, I don't really care from a "who am I?" standpoint, just from a how do I communicate with others standpoint. And some of the kids in my life really struggle; they learn these terms as boxes they must fit in and I think that is sad. I'm glad they have more boxes than Straight (like my teen years in my rural hometown) but I'd rather they just not use boxes. We are all Other, sometimes it's just more obvious.

I feel like I am constantly watching a back and forth in ace/aro positivity between saying it's ok to be ace/aro and still be interested in sex/romance and saying it's ok if you don't.

it's OK to be asexual/aromantic and do whatever you want. the core idea of queer ideology is that the people who are claiming these identities are doing so for community and solace, not for harsh delineation and definition.

so yeah...

if you are asexual, you are valid and awesome and I am proud to share an identity with you, no matter your thoughts on kink, sexual content, or even sexual relationships.

and if you are aromantic, you are valid and awesome and i am proud to share an identity with you, no matter your thoughts on romance, or relationships.

for me, despite any leanings I have, I want to push the idea that is farthest from the people who are not asexual or aromantic. I want to establish that not being interested in sex is ok, and can even be wonderful, and that being uninterested in romance is ok, and is great in its own way.

when I see positivity for being aro/ace and still being ok with those things, I totally understand the desire to make that clear, that that is true, and that feeling anywhichway doesn't counteract your identity. But by the same token it's not helping to establish the main arguing point; wanting to live a life differently then from what societal expectations are, vis a vis sex and romance, is both a thing that exists and is a thing just as valuable as wanting those things.

[dissolving-mansion]

As a rule, I only read Jonmartin fic when I've already read and liked the same author's jonmichael/jongerry/jondaisy/jonelias/gen/anyothership fics because clicking on a random Jonmartin fic is like playing Russian roulette. You have things like:

Tagged "Canon Asexual Character" but describes Jon's lust for Martin's body parts almost immediately. Or Jon fantasises about Martin constantly over a long period of time but denies himself for some unknown reason.

The fic acknowledges Jon's asexuality but the narrative insists that Jon has to have sex with Martin to show he truly loves him.

"Jon pretended to be asexual to get out of telling his girlfriend who he dated for a long time that he is actually gay" fics

Tagged "fluff" and has no trigger tags but then has Martin saying ableist/victim-blaming/disrespectful things to Jon and Jon just being like "yes, I'm sorry, everything is my fault, I'll be more well-behaved in future. This is a healthy relationship, I'm glad we talked. "

Less problematic but still annoying: not tagged "OOC" but has Martin being uncharacteristically flawless. (He is... he is allowed to have flaws, you know. In fact, Martin's niceness is detrimental to him in the early seasons, but that's a flaw that doesn't inconvenience anyone so I'm sure people are fine with it🙂) A lot of TMA fans use him as the character who makes all the good decisions and never copes with things in a way they deem bad and it's... Uh something

Getting worse again: Jon explicitly described with fanon person-of-color appearance while Martin has a white savior plotline

[thegracelessfaceless]

†hï§ Måñïå¢'§ ïñ Lðvê Wï†h ¥ðµ (Låµghïñg Jå¢k x Ä£Äß RêåÐêr) Kinktober Day #3: Mirrors 🖤🤍

Kinktober Prompt Day #3: Mirrors (minors dni) fic under the cut.

Triggers: claws, mirror sex, belly bulge

You stepped through the gates of the abandoned carnival a few minutes after dusk. You had someone to meet and not very long to find him, especially considering he had a flair for the dramatic and requested you meet him in his funhouse, the Hall of Mirrors specifically. You looked at the carnival map in passing, already knowing the way. To be invited to Jack's funhouse was normal, but he'd never taken you to the Hall of Mirrors before.

Jack, better known as Laughing Jack, was waiting somewhere in those mirrored halls, eager as always to see you. You had found his box at an antique store and curious to see what was inside, broken the box open, releasing Jack. While surprised, Jack had won Reader over, choosing to stay once he had seen your beauty and heard your quick wit. By the time you had learned about all of him, it was too late. Jack had your heart, lock, stock and barrel.

You stepped into the funhouse. You heard calliope music coming from deeper inside and followed the sound. Further in you recognized it as "Years Ago" by Alice Cooper. Again. He'd heard Alice Cooper on the radio and had instantly fallen in love with him.

As you drew near, the song changed, more Alice Cooper, and you turned into the Hall of Mirrors.

"Oooh! I'm so happy you're here, gumdrop!" Jack exclaimed, turning down the music and then he danced up to you, grabbing your hips with his long clawed fingers and lifting you up against his body, "There's nothing more that you can do. This maniac's in love with yooooouuuu" he sang.

You giggled as Jack nuzzled his long black and white nose into your neck, his reflection multiplied a hundred times as you peered over his shoulder at yourself. "I'm glad to see you too, Jack."

Jack pulled back slightly to beam down at you with his sharp teeth. You weren't exactly sure what the angel that made him was thinking when they'd designed him. He was at least 7'0" tall, with legs so long it looked as if he walked on stilts instead of black dress shoes, the muscles of his legs and ass strong. His long arms were leanly muscled and ended in fine boned hands tipped in black claws. Under Jack's white dress shirt, his arms were black and white striped and he usually wore bandages around his waist to help support his long spine. Two thin black stripes ringed his neck, his Maker's mark. You knew he was working because he wore his makeup, his powder blue eyes thickly lined in black and his lips were painted black too. Normally he wore a fur shrug and gray dress vest over suspenders, but today he wore a white dress shirt and black pants with black suspenders. He was all black and white, though Jack had told you he used to be colorful once.

"Give me some sugar, luv!" Jack said in his funny way. He talked like an Irish housewife, all pet names and exclamations. You turned your face up knowing you would be black smudged by the time Jack was done with you. Jack tended to get carried away. Technically before you, he'd been an asexual being, so he was in a state of sexual awakening. He had trouble keeping his hands off of you, touch starved after being locked away so long, hence the dates at his carnival. Technically it wasn't his but he "haunted" it, using his plethora of abilities to lure, stalk, play with, then kill people who wandered there. Mostly dumb kids, teenagers, and the occasional ghost hunter.

Jack kissed you as thoroughly as his sharp teeth would allow, not wanting to damage you. He held you with the same amount care, as his claws were razor sharp. They creased your skin as he slipped his arms under your ass as he explored your mouth. You wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him back as you sat in his arms.

"Oh! Pet, I missed you so much. The day has just dra-agged by."

He peppered your face with kisses, dragging his lips from one place to the next.

You smiled up at him. "I missed you too Jack."

Jack turned so he leaned with his back against the mirrored wall and slid down, gathering you in his arms as you straddled him. He kissed you again after pulling your shirt off. He trailed black paint kissed down your neck and chest, ducking his head to reach. His long nose poked into your neck. You watched in the mirror, seeing your body snuggled up to Jack's body, his long, long legs casually splayed in front of him and then reflected infinitely on the mirror, his black lined eyes watching over your shoulder.

Jack shrugged out of his shirt and wrapped his striped arms around you as he nuzzled one of your breasts out of your bra. He circled a sharp canine around your nipple before extending his black tongue and flicking it. He grinned up at you and winked rogueishly and then took more of your breast into his mouth and sucked, his teeth digging into you, making you moan.

Jack pulled his mouth away and said, "Make spooky noises, dollop, eeeughhh, I've got some ghost hunters on premises tonight."

You blushed and laughed, "I'll just try to keep it down."

"Oh honey love, nonsense. Don't do anything for their benefit. They aren't making it till sunrise." He broke into a small giggle fit, resting his cheek on your breasts.

You gasped as you felt one of his claws trace your hipbone, scratching light circles, "Jack! You're still working?"

He lightened his scratches until it was the barest tickle and you giggled as he said, "I'm on break." He shrugged his shoulder as he dipped a claw tipped finger into your pants, dragging a trail along your underwear. When he reached your midline, he dipped his finger under the elastic of your undies and slip his claw along you lightly until his fingertip rubbed against you. Your breath hitched.

You had to hold very still so Jack wouldn't accidentally cut you, but in little time, Jack brought you with his light touches. Then he stood and you watched over his shoulder as he shifted you from one arm to the other to shrug out of his suspenders. You kissed along his shoulder as he unbuttoned his pants and let them fall to his knees. This revealed his old fashioned, drawstring underwear, like male bloomers. They joined his pants as he stroked himself from where he jutted straight and long from his hips in black and white stripes.

Jack sat you on your feet so you could disrobe. Then he turned you so you were pressed against the mirror, angled so you could watch him as he pushed into you, sinking to his knees so he wasn't bent awkwardly. You both watched as he slowly pierced you.

You watched your breath quicken in your reflection as you stretch to accommodate what Jack had to offer. He traced his claws down to cup your hip, digging in slightly. With each thrust he put a little more strength into it and you sighed as he rolled up when he hit the end of you, caught between pleasure and pain. Soon, Jack was driving in and out of you almost full force and your eyes found your reflection again. You noticed a place low in your abdomen that seemed to bulge out whenever Jack reached the end of his strokes.

Jack saw you looking and paused his thrusts, buried as deep in you as he could go. He reached his hand around to trace a claw around the tip of him bulging through your skin. The sight, combined with the pressure inside you brought you writhing, unable to look away as you watched that bulge move under your skin as Jack held himself buried deep inside you, unmoving.

Jack's head fell back, but he continued to watch your movements slow from under heavy lidded eyes. When you'd almost come to a stop, blinking away white spots, Jack restarted his thrusting, pace more urgent. He drove into you and you couldn't hold back your cries as Jack rested moved one of your hands on top of the bulge, making you rub down on it. You quivered helplessly around him and let the mirror support you as Jack twitched inside you. His pace quickened and you screamed with his last and hardest thrust. You looked down and saw him bulging even further out under your skin, his hips finally pressed tight against your ass. You came one last time and spammed around him as you both stared your your reflections, Jack's lips pressed to your jaw. He rubbed the bulge as he supported your weight when your knees went, his free hand hooking under your ribs as he other hand cupped himself through your skin. You moaned, overstimulated as you hung there seeing stars.

"Did you hear that, Chad?" A male voice said, excited and scared, "It sounded like a woman."

Jack looked at the doorway and slowly withdrew from you with a sigh, "Sorry, pet, I'll be right back." He quickly dressed and covered you with his vest. "Duty calls."

He slipped his suspenders back over his shoulders and went out the door, leaving you to recover as he took care of his other urges.

[queerlyraging]

hey for people who desperately think their parents or guardians or loved ones opinions won't change their opinion about people being LQBTQ+ and the community as whole and think that their opinions are solidified and set in stone for the rest of their life im here to tell you that's NOT true based on personal experience of my own parents radically changing their POV's, specifically my mother, and my own personal beliefs.

my mother was, like most people raised mormon, incredibly transphobic and homophobic and generally queerphobic for a large majority of her life. as her child, i was also raised mormon and also raised with those same ideals casually crafted into my normal day life: it wasn't malicious, but it was purposeful.

when my older sister came out to me as asexual and bi, i remember feeling confused and hurt and unsure of what i was supposed to feel. my entire life ideals had been challenged at the ripe age of 11, alongside with the potential idea that i could also be queer. i resolved to always love my older sister and respect and support her decisions to be happy, even if i didn't quite understand them or really comprehend what challenges has just been made to by base idea in life.

when my close friend (soon to be best friend) not only came out to me as a lesbian but also extremely excitedly informed me of her upcoming date with another girl at the age of 16, a deep part of me knew at that moment that no matter what happened, i had to change and be supportive of her decisions and how she pursued her happiness - after all, as i looked at my best friend excitedly dancing at the potential of this date, i wondered how it could be as bad as i was taught, and slowly i began to change.

later - i had a few more realizations about myself, and very quietly accepted the idea that i was aromantic, bisexual, and genderfluid, and that it was okay to be those things. it's something i'm still working hard on internalizing - after all, being raised with completely different ideals doesn't disappear in a single day or week or even month. but i began to be accepting of not only others but myself.

my mother was much more strongly homophobic than i ever was, her queerphobia aged like fine wine over the years she had internalized those ideals. she made homophobic comments in passing casually and aired opinions that caused me to be riddled with shame. yet over the years, her own opinion has done a 180. she did her research, saw the signs in her children, and realized she needed to go through her own personal journey as a parent to fully love and accept and support her kids the way she wanted to, and so she did.

if you had told either me or my big sister at the age where we began to realize and reach an understanding of who we were that we would be able to comfortably come out to our mother and not feel rejected, or endangered, or like we were going to face extreme amounts of shame from her, we would have bitterly laughed in your face. and yet yesterday, several months after my big sister came out to my mother about being bisexual and received nothing but support, i looked my mother in the eyes and tearfully told her about my own identities, at my own pace, as my own choice.

and she accepted and supported me for who i was. she knows about me being bisexual, and she loves me still and supports me and wants to know about the girls i've been interested in. she knows about me being genderfluid and nonbinary and accepts me, and asked me what pronouns i preferred, if i had different names i went by, and what i was feeling.

so if my mother, who was raised mormon and casually queerphobic like the best of them, can go from comparing being gay to cancer to letting me talk about how i want to get pride flags and publicly come out and be proud of who i am to the world, then i know people can change. it can be hard, and it is a long journey filled with hurt and anxiety and misunderstanding, but it can happen. and i'm so glad it did.