#it's death or nothing
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if you're worthless and you know it clap your hands 👏👏
#yeah so i just got rejected from an entry level position *again*#without getting an interview#like#i check all the boxes#literally#there is absolutely nothing i can do anymore besides getting an actual real job in my field#I've done it all#people in charge of helping others job search just don't know what to tell me#because there is *nothing* i can do besides finding an actual job#and yet i keep getting rejected without even getting interviews#and on top of that i have the incredible privilege of having everyone around me dying to tell me what i MUST be doing WRONG#and then i have to sit through painful conversations as they slowly realize that i have indeed been doing NOTHING wrong#and they don't understand why I can't find a job#yes#me neither#now fuck off I'm tired#tbh suicide just look more and more appealing#i just genuinely don't know what to do anymore and i worked too hard for six goddamn years to not work in my field#i deserve to work in my field#i spent six fucking years making sure i would check all the god damn boxes when the time would come#I'm not getting a shitty job I'll hate#i worked too hard for that#it's death or nothing#and I'll stand by it
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Mizu, femininity, and fallen sparrows
In my last post about Mizu and Akemi, I feel like I came across as overly critical of Mizu given that Mizu is a woman who - in her own words - has to live as a man in order to go down the path of revenge.
If she is ever discovered to be female by the wrong person, she will not only be unable to complete her quest, but there's a good chance that she'll be arrested or killed.
So it makes complete sense for Mizu to distance herself as much as possible from any behavior that she feels like would make someone question her sex.
I felt so indignant toward Mizu on my first couple watchthroughs for this moment. Why couldn't Mizu bribe the woman and her child's way into the city too? If Mizu is presenting as a man, couldn't she claim to be the woman's escort?
However, this moment makes things pretty clear. Mizu knows all too well the plight of women in her society. She knows it so well that she cannot risk ever finding herself back in their position again. She helps in what little way she can - without drawing attention to herself.
Mizu is not a hero and she is not one to make of herself a martyr - she will not set herself on fire to keep others warm. There's room to argue that Mizu shouldn't prioritize her quest over people's lives, but given the collateral damage Mizu can live with in almost every episode of season 1, Mizu is simply not operating under that kind of morality at this point. ("You don't know what I've done to reach you," Mizu tells Fowler.)
And while I still feel like Mizu has an obvious and established blind spot when it comes to Akemi because of their differences in station, such that Mizu's judgment of Akemi and actions in episode 5 are the result of prejudice rather than the result of Mizu's caution, I also want to establish that Mizu is just as caged as Akemi is, despite her technically having more freedom while living as a man.
Mizu can hide her mixed race identity some of the time, and she can hide her sex almost all of the time, but being able to operate outside of her society's strict rules for women does not mean she cannot see their plight.
It does not mean she doesn't hurt for them.
Back to Mizu and collateral damage, remember that sparrow?
While Mizu is breaking into Boss Hamata's manse, she gets startled by a bird and kills it on reflex. She then cradles it in her hands - much more tenderly than we've seen Mizu treat almost anything up to this point in the season:
She then puts it in its nest, with its unhatched eggs. Almost like she's trying to make the death look natural. Or like an accident.
You see where I'm going with this.
When Mizu kills Kinuyo, Mizu lingers in the moment, holding the body tenderly:
And btw a lot of stuff about this show hit me hard, but this remains the biggest gut punch of them all for me, Mizu holding that poor girl's body close, GOD
When Mizu arranges the "scene of the crime," Kinuyo's body is delicate, birdlike. And Mizu is so shaken afterward that she gets sloppy. She's horrified at this kill to the point that she can't bring herself to take another innocent life - the boy who rats her out.
MIZU'S ONE MOMENT OF SOFTNESS AND MERCY, COMING ON THE HEELS OF HER NEEDING TO KILL A GIRL TO SPARE HER THE WORST FATE THAT THIS RIGID SOCIETY HAS TO OFFER WOMEN, AND TO SPARE A BROTHEL FULL OF INNOCENT WOMEN WHO ARE THE CASTOFFS OF SOCIETY, NEARLY RESULTS IN ALL OF THEIR DEATHS
No wonder Mizu is as stoic and cold as she is.
And no wonder Mizu has no patience for Akemi whatsoever right before the terrible reveal and the fight breaks out:
Speaking of Akemi - guess who else is compared to a bird!
The plumage is more colorful, a bit flashier. But a bird is a bird.
And, uh
Yeah.
I like to think that Mizu killing the sparrow is not only foreshadowing for what she must do to Kinuyo, but is also a representation of the choice she makes on Akemi's behalf. She decides to cage the bird because she believes the bird is "better off." Better off caged than... dead.
But because Mizu doesn't know Akemi or her situation, she of course doesn't realize that the bird is fated to die if it is caged and sent back home.
Mizu is clearly not happy, or pleased, or satisfied by allowing Akemi to be dragged back to her father:
But softness and mercy haven't gotten Mizu anywhere good, recently.
There is so much tragedy layered into Mizu's character, and it includes the things she has to witness and the choices she makes - or believes she has to make - involving women, when she herself can skirt around a lot of what her society throws at women. Although, I do believe that it comes at the cost of a part of Mizu's soul.
After all, I'm gonna be haunted for the rest of this show by Mizu's very first prayer in episode 1:
"LET" her die. Because as Ringo points out, she doesn't "know how" to die.
Kind of like another bird in this show:
#blue eye samurai#mizu#akemi#kinuyo#bes#women are birds okay they are BIRDS#the let me die line is so SCARY AND SAD like a part of Mizu wants death but she cant? she doesnt know how?? excuse you show???#when all these other delicate birds are dying all around her#akemis character gets more and more gutwrenching upon subsequent rewatches because whenever she says her life is in danger#NO ONE BELIEVES HER - certainly not other women#because shes rich and pampered and that means shes safe and is worrying about nothing right? right?????#and it turns out that all of akemis instincts were right and she was in danger the ENTIRE TIME#also I need to make a post just for kinuyo because I am sad
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alicent realizing that viserys deathbed confession to make aegon king was a giant misunderstanding and now there's nothing she can do about it because her sons are out for blood and she has no power over them anymore. she's now doomed to be haunted by her own pre war decisions for the rest of her life
#house of the dragon#hotd spoilers#rhaenyra targaryen#alicent hightower#she also knows rhaenyra had nothing to do with her grandsons death either#her one comfort that she might have done the right thing by crowing aegon is now blown to bits
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tf one orion scribbles,,,, hes just a little guy,,,,,
#my art#op in the new trailer;;hes such a menace i love him so bad im going to cry like just think about it he goes from that to becoming#stoic somber optimus prime with the weight of the universe on his back and the guilt of losing his best friend not to death or distance but#from each of them making just a few choices that butterfly out and slowly pull them apart and theres nothing they can do im so so normal#tf one#orion pax#d 16#optimus prime#megatron
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pov : sun found the photograph
@spadillelicious hehehe i think ur sun would be a mighty big fan of the Disco Inferno
(song is “more more more” by Andrea True Connection)
#rip moon#yes this is from the rise of gru hshkfje#shut up i had a vision#and nothing brings me more joy than sun in rollerskates#love death and rollerskates#others au#sillies#dca fandom#fnaf daycare attendant#fnaf dca#fnaf sun#fnaf moon
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Okay but on a serious note Con O'Neill ate in these first few episodes and left no fucking crumbs. Last season we ended on deranged Izzy; now we have an Izzy realizing how toxic things can really get and WISHING he could go back to the days when he was the only proper pirate among muppets. And he's TRYING so damn hard and it would be so easy to play that in a cheesy or insincere manner, but we have Con O'Neill swinging for the fences, crying, begging for death, disheveled, trying to undo everything he did to get us all in this mess and failing and looking both miserable and delighted in his misery because he's getting what he thinks he deserves.
And YET we also get the subtle tear in the eye when Stede finds out what they really did to Ed. Like. You can feel how utterly heartbroken the man is just from a glimmer in the corner of his eye.
Love Izzy, hate Izzy, it really doesn't matter, not when he's played so magnificently by Con, and I salute him for everything he's doing in this campy gay pirate show.
#ofmd#he really did that and I have nothing but respect#'he's a dick but he's our dick' and I would not have it any other way#ofmd spoilers#ofmd s2#ofmd s2 spoilers#our flag means death#Izzy Hands#Con O'Neill
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Spare a thought for Con O'Neill who, for months, went to comic cons and had to listen to people telling him how important Izzy is to them, how they see themselves in him and how, if something bad happened to Izzy, they would be absolutely devastated. Man deserves an award.
#ofmd#ofmd 2#ofmd spoilers#our flag means death#our flag means death 2#our flag means death spoilers#ofmd s2#our flag means death s2#izzy hands#con o'neill#poor guy#he could do nothing but nod politely KNOWING#how did he do it#mine
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Damian's had a rough time lately 😨 go hurt some bad guys with your dad
#Damian wayne#damian al ghul#robin#batman#batman and robin#bruce wayne#dc comics#dc fan art#snark art#our boy needs a proper holiday that doesn't involve a death tournament#pack your bags Damian we're going to DINOSAUR ISLAND#I'm sure nothing bad will happen#wow this looks so much more saturated on my phone#JOKES ON YOU i LOVE super saturated colour pallettes ha ha#oversaturated pallettes give me MAGIC
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"We should think of ourselves as one people."
#and then neither Jinx nor Viktor were ever the same again#arcane#arcane spoilers#silco#jinx#nothing so undoing as a daughter#jayce talis#viktor#yes Jayce rushing to save Viktor with hextech IS in fact exactly the same#as Silco rushing to save Jinx with shimmer#and both near-deaths were caused by explosions too! and by the same person even!#wild
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Part 2/2
By the time Stanley had realized he wasn't as alone as he believed himself to be entrapped in this ravenous abyss; he had honestly begun to suspect that he was finally starting to properly lose his mind.
In all the ceaseless miles that Stanley had journeyed during his apparent permanent residence within the dark devouring void, not once had he encountered another conscious, walking, talking being similar to himself. Every other formerly living creature that he had crossed paths with had been so... silent. Empty. Dead, in every sense of the word. It was as though the very essence of life itself had been sucked out of their bodies with a straw, their forms slowly falling apart piece by piece under the vicious gluttony of the darkness that surrounded them. They looked like they actually were supposed to be there, unmoving and comatose, unlike him.
So, when Stanley first began to encounter the twins, all of a sudden, he wasn't the only one in the dark.
When meeting the first pair of them, he found himself standing in a lake.
He hadn't even noticed the changes at first. It felt as though he had been walking for weeks on end, his body moving purely on autopilot and his aching legs leading him towards a destination only it knew. A thick fog of forgetfulness and flickering memories had descended upon his brain like a heavy blanket of numbing static as he had traveled. In this absentminded state, he hadn't even realized that the ever-present undulating, buzzing darkness surrounding him had begun to gradually shift and morph to form a horizon line; stretching into tall looming cliffsides that almost seemed to close in on him. Once the nonexistent floor beneath his soles abruptly began to ripple and warp, like the disturbed surface of a shallow puddle; only then did he finally notice his transformed environment.
The transition was seamless, almost dream-like. One moment, he was still surrounded by that filthy, overwhelming abyss; and the next, his boots were suddenly plunged deep into the cold, dark lake water.
The silence didn't leave, however. It still choked and stuffed its way into Stanley's ears to clog up his mind with thick cotton; the eerie quiet not quite matching the calm, almost serene scenery the void seemed to have abruptly transformed itself into. Like a movie with its sound cut off; leaving only the unsettling hum of the projector to fill the empty air.
It was odd. The lake was surely incredibly deep. He could obviously tell from how thin and pathetically small the shores appeared all the way from where he now unceremoniously stood in the middle of the lake. Stan could look down and see the darkness below his feet swallow what meager light that managed to break through the murky waters. The overwhelming black almost seemed to beckon him, gaping and haunting; a bottomless underwater pit of pitch black that never seemed to end.
And yet, he didn't sink. Stanley remained perfectly level, the almost ink like waters stopping just at ankle level, as though he were held up just above the surface by some invisible force. Even the writhing waves seemed small and low, as though the waters were shy to climb up his legs further than that. It was odd, so very odd.
However, it wasn't nowhere near as odd as the sight that greeted him when he finally lifted his eyes from the waters.
Stanley had crossed paths with truly unbelievable sights in this strange somewhere; from bursting, collapsing stars; to the imploding heat death of entire universes, but none of them seemed to hold the candle to what he saw then when he lifted his eyes:
Children.
Two, to be exact. Two, nearly identical looking children stood motionless before him; completely soaked through to the bone as though they had taken a plunge into the frigid water that pooled around their ankles. It was a girl and a boy, both adorned with twin expressions utterly devoid of emotion, their wide eyed stare seeming to burn holes into his thin jacket. Their drenched clothes sagged off of their scrawny frames; thin rivulets of water dirpping off of them and disturbing the glassy surface of the water at their feet. The little girl's hair had messily stuck to her face in thin sodden strands, her cheeks still full and round with youth just like the boy's. They looked young. Too young to be in a place such as this.
Oh, but their eyes; their eyes.
They burned with such anger; such injustice, brighter than any dying star or galaxies he had ever seen. Anger towards the world, to fate, to whatever cruel deity that had deemed them fit to be sent to this wretched place so prematurely. They were too young to be here; to be entrapped like he was amongst this hungry darkness. And yet, here they were, sheer denial against their own untimely deaths being the only thing keeping them awake and conscious amongst the dead and rotting. A show of juvenile defiance to nature itself so vehement even the all-consumign darkness seemed hesitant to devour them whole just yet.
It saddened him. It saddened him to know that they belonged there, that they were supposed to be there. He could see it, he could feel it; they were dead. No amount of determination could deny that universal fact.
When they spoke, Stanley could hear anger:
Stan chuckled in a futile attempt to lighten the suddenly heavy atmosphere that threatened to crush him whole. "A lake monster? You kids and your imagination," he teased, hoping to somehow rid the poor kids of the haunted look that seemed to whirl in their glares. No child should have been burdened with such a knowing look; such eyes that looked like they had seen everything there was to see about the world, the horrid and the good.
Clearly, it had been the wrong thing to say, and Stanley's faux pas was rewarded with a scowl from the little boy. A world's worth of sour contempt etched into every contorted groove that his grimace seemed to dig into his much too young face. Stan suddenly felt guilt squeeze at his weary bones for having caused that.
"That's what they all said," the boy spat out, eyes shining with a sheen of wetness Stan wasn't sure he was prepared to deal with.
Stan left that first interaction with the twins with the feeling of guilt and sorrow still clining to him.
He couldn't have known, at the time. He couldn't have known that this wouldn't be anywhere near the last time that he would meet the pair. He hadn't realised just how many of them there were. After that first pair, his endless journeying within the Abyss was hardly be spent alone anymore. Countless more times, he came face to face with the exact same two young and impossibly worn faces; forced to meet one pair of beaten and bruised kids after another.
Not one pair had died the same death as another. Some had gotten lost, prey to whatever threat that had snatched them up out in the open; some had fallen from high up; some had been crushed under an incredible weight; some had burned; some eaten alive; some zombified. Some didn't even seem physically harmed at all, body perfectly intact, and yet that same faraway, distrubed look in their eyes remained.
He thought the worst ones were the ones he found alone. A little girl or a little boy, left all lonesome without their other half there. Twins, he remembered a pair of them telling him once.
Once, he had come across a town full of silent, stone statues. It was a rustic, shabby, almost nostalgic looking town- odd and strangely familiar. The sight of it had tugged at an aged memory that had long since wasted away in the back of his mind. It was serene, almost deceptively so. The sun shone; the air smelled crisp and fresh; numerous waterfalls continued to crash down from the tall cliffsides; and a soft nonexistent breeze whistled through the thicket of pine trees that blanketed the outskirts of the town. None of it seemed to match the gruesome scene of the hundred wailing statues that littered every inch of the town.
He had found the boy's statue on the other side of town, deep within the green forest and toppled over the gnarled roots of a towering tree. Like the rest of the townsfolk, he too, was frozen mid-shriek; his stone face twisted and contorted into a mock impression of a silent scream as his body lay paused in a writhing struggle. He made sure to be gentle when he carried the boy's statue over to place it beside the girl's, whose statue stood far deeper into the forest, sporting the same rictus grimace of terror as her brother's. It somehow felt wrong for them to have been so far apart from one another, even in death.
He had come to dread meeting of the twins. He hated every second he had to confront yet another pair of dead children that did not belong here, but fate had decided they did. He despised having to listen to their tales of woe as they wept about the injustice of the world, of having died young; he despised himself for being unable to do more than weep with them.
"We don't belong here, Grunkle Stan," he would listen to the little girl weep, calling him a title he didn't recognize. He never remembered if they had ever told him their name, but they all seem to know his, without a fail. "If we're dead, then what about you? What about Grunkle Ford? Mom? Dad? What about them? We can't be dead, we can't be," they would say, confusion and frustration written all over their faces. They didn't understand. They didn't understand why they had come to the darkness so early, so unfairly.
He never knew what to say, he'd never been good with words.
All he could do was kneel down to their levels and engulf them in his arms, hoping he could somehow squeeze the pain straight out of their bodies in his embrace. He hugged them, because what else could he do?
#OKAY SO YOU KNOW THAT ONE SCENE IN THE BOOK OF BILL OR SMTH WHERE THEY SHOW ALL THE ALTERNATE UNIVERSE VERSION OF DIPPER AND MABEL#WHEN THEY WEREN'T AS LUCKY AS THEIR ORIGINAL COUNTERPARTS#THAT'S WHO STAN MEETS HERE#I need you people to know that I had to rewrite this whole thing like 3 times because my dumbass#was writing a whole ass fic in TUMBLR DRAFTS so obviously it kept deleting itself <3#but it was worth it for the Stan angst <3#watch how many trigger warnings I can fit in this post#tw child death#tw death#tw dead animals#tw graphic description#tw graphic violence#tw graphic#tw body horror#tw scopophobia#tw gore#TELL ME IF I GOTTA TAG MORE!!#gravity falls#gravity falls au#HWINEBHABWNAJCAHOWEEATOWEUB AU#stanley pines#stan pines#grunkle stan#dipper pines#mabel pines#pines twins#absolutely not beta read- so if there are any grammar mistakes or plot holes... shhhhhh you saw nothing...#my writing#my fic#my art
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Some old Meronias 🙇
#death note#death note fanart#mello death note#mello#mihael keehl#near death note#near#nate river#meronia#mellonear#my art#art#I miss them so so so dearly#near is such a whimsical fellow it brings me to tears#in my head they work together and nothing bad ever happens and#mental illness !?!
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what if we made out sloppy style in the investigation headquarters
#death note#l death note#light death note#l lawliet#light yagami#lawlight#just a couple of boy bffs#they smooched and then both of them exploded simultaneously#what if death note was called freak note and literally nothing changed
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2x02 // Something I noticed on a rewatch
#which could mean nothing#this anything guys?#interview with the vampire#iwtv#2x02#iwtv s2#armand#daniel molloy#louis de pointe du lac#devils minion#devil's minion#armandaniel#do you know what it means to be loved by death#iwtvedit#iwtv gifs#iwtvgifs#iwtv gifset
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Our Flag Means Death + Text Posts [1/?] feat. Izzy
#our flag means death#ofmd#ofmdedit#izzy hands#con o'neill#tvedit#ofmdgifs#ofmddaily#ofmdsource#userbecca#ughmerlin#jemmablossom#userelio#*#*gifs#*ofmd#ofmd-text#ofmd spoilers#this is an izzy hands thirst blog now#i regret nothing
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france is burning.
667 people were arrested last night. they are curfews in place. public transport is partially closed at night.
nahel, a 17-year-old, was shot tuesday by the police during a traffic stop. he wasn't violent or armed, he wasn't a threat. but he broke the law and tried to drive away, so the cops killed him.
and now france is rioting.
there is a video so the government isn't trying to deny the facts for once. but the minister of the interior (in charge of the police) still insist that the police shot less people since the 2017 law on public safety.
but an analysis of police statistics by Le Monde, the most read newspaper in france, says otherwise. when the police shot on average 250 people each year in the five years prior to 2017, that number became 297 after 2017. for shots fired specifically on moving vehicles, the average used to be 119 and it's now 150. before 2017, there was an average of 0.06 deaths per shot. now it's 0.32.
more than ever, the police shoots to kill.
so france is burning.
#i wanted to write something small because there's nothing on tumblr#but it became longer and longer#i didn't add pictures bc it always seems voyeuristic to me. this isn't click bait. i'm not here to exploit the pain and the anger in any way#but a kid died and hundreds people are being arrested and tumblr doesn't say a word#upthebaguette#whatthefrance#acab#tw death#tw police brutality#france things
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death is insane. wdym i’ll never see my grandmother again
#she’s in her chair in the den cant nobody tell me nothing ok#death tw#grief#what’s this house without my grandmother in it? (all the people she left behind)#i cried this morning while eating grits she taught my mother how to make. love is so big when i think of it like that#i thought i heard her walker clack in the hallway last night.#she wears glasses & we have to decide where to keep them#grief is so strange#i can’t keep crying by myself (i’ll be crying for the rest of my life)#love is carrying on. i think.
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