#it's been monday for like an hour now
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Tamlin Week Day 2: Poet/Warrior
@tamlinweek
#it's been monday for like an hour now#so this counts#i hit both prompts for the day come at me mf i'm an event week pro#let's ignore that my time management is fucking awful and i just drew this tonight#tamlinweek2024
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im being so so brave but also i am gripping you by the shoulders and leaning in and letting you know i am so tired of being brave
#my job has invented new and even more agonizing ways to make itself stressful to endure#and that isn't even counting the fact that i've now seriously fucked up my wrist transporting 30lb boxes up and down stairs#or the fact that i occasionally get piercing shoulder pains if i'm not super careful about how i use the hand truck#or the fact that whenever i come home on mondays my entire lower body is so sore that i can't move beyond a weak shuffle#it's the fact that my boss has no sense of organization#so my supervisor and i are basically salvaging or starting from scratch every week#it's the fact that some of our clients are asking for things we're not even contracted to provide#like access to our company materials or additional resources outside of our scheduled bookings#and that there's this constant looming threat of 'ohhh don't be bad at your job!! or else we'll lose our contract with these people!!'#but 'bad at your job' in this case means 'not bending over backwards to accommodate the least accommodating circumstances possible'#like 'hey you need to lead this training exercise meant for 20 people except actually you only have 4 people'#'and actually none of them are familiar with the prerequisites for this training or have any experience with the skills'#'and also none of them want to be there and half of them just Don't Do These Things as a rule'#'and if you try to make them do anything they don't want to do (even if it's literally the point of the training) they Will leave'#'and then we will no longer have enough clients to pay you'#like. what am i doing. this company was not designed to work with this format. we're not an arts and crafts group or a club meeting#hi so i wrote this post before starting weekend work prep#it has been 3 hours now#im still not done#i haven't eaten and my wrist hurts so bad#i need to.................. take a break................................
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applied to a bunch of jobs! 😅🙏
#took me three days bc i really wanted my dad's input on my resume and he took a while to get back to me#but i reallyyyy wanted to have applications in my monday morning and now i do :)#also feeling much better aboutbthe whole thing now that i have stuff to be excited about#still really really sad abt leaving the kids at my current job tho#but i drove by some of the places i applied today and researched them and im really optimistic about some of them#i even heard back from one already which i was not expecting at all#she literally emailed me like half an hour after getting my application and started asking me questions#like a pre interview#so thats nice#we went back and forth a couple of times#its not my top top choice but that place isnt officially hiring and might take forever to back back to me#this place is a smaller home daycare type place and urgently hiring but the pay is super good and a home daycare environment might be nice#and the pay is pretty decent esp compared to what im making now#the top top place is a fancy pants private school that going to be way more thorough abt references and background check#so they'll take longer to get back to me#but i found out after applying that my friend's mom works there 🤯#so she's gonna ask her to put in a good word for me :)#but they're not officially hiring according to their website it just says they encourage people to inquire so i did#so p unlikely i would get that one but you never know#anyway!!!!#finally excited abt things and not just filled with dread and sadness abt leaving the current place and kids#still makes me sad but im not on the verge of tears thinking abt it anymore lol#this has been a shitpost
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Barring any new asks, I think that's the last of those 'icons only' memes and it was very fun doing them all! Thank you so much for sending them in everyone, I'm feeling more confident about activity again and will hopefully be inspired to write a bit more often from now on providing schedule eases up sometime soon!
#💀 ;; ooc#;; mun rambles#I mean it guys thank you so much for your thoughtfulness and patience!#I know I have been very AWOL this year and that's not good work or no#The longer I am away the harder it feels to pick up the muse/s again you know?#Just staring at a blank page and wondering where tf to begin#So this was really nice and light <3#Life's going well here#Schedule did not ease off to nobody's surprise but apparently a colleague is taking on more hours#Quit her job at a school and is doing full-time where we work now#So hopefully she will be able to do Monday and Tuesday and I'll have more than one day off a week or so#That won't be until October though bc handing notice in and shit#But it is good to know!#I do like working and the extra money is helpful but fuck me I need rest too lol#Things are keeping me going though like tumblr and sneks#The ball python is soooo sweet now he comes out when I come home early in the morning ;;#Seems to want to be handled but I just fed him the other day so I feel guilty I cannot cuddle him just yet :(#Baby boy <3
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ok let's catch up quickly
#so i went on a few dates w this guy. long hair beautiful face kinda looked like a girl (good) said yes ma'am when i told him to do smth#(also good) film student great at photography including candids. made a sheath of leather for a sword pin i have . et cetera.#he asked to cuddle and i was like iggg and then i felt Nothing and i was like ohhh yh ok ok yep lesbian#like he meets almost all my criteria but. yeahhh no . also at the end of that date he had some weird takes. anyway broke up w him and told#him actually im p sure im a lesbian (again) and he was like yk thats the second time this has happened to me this week but its ok bc ive#fallen for this girl from berlin. and then we cooked together. anyway . met a beautiful butch lowk in love w her. weve been on (1) date.#have two exams in a few days havent studied enough going to like end it all basically. my research partner kicked me off our research#(expected(it was always skinda sketchy)) which was devastating + it happened in a lidl 15 hours into a journey from bordeaux#to go back to the UK. my friends were kinda busy paying for baguettes but also they heard this whole exchange and are kinda mad at him#my friend of 10+ years is coming over in a few days. my evil ex situationship person that i decided to stay friends w because i kept#insisting they are a good friend and not evil and also extremely beautiful? turns out shockingly enough they were evil. tried to fix them#and then i realised due to their entire friendship group being ppl like me (Every Single One of their friends are ppl they met on dating#apps then led on then dumped and proposed staying friends w) and are collectively extremely attracted to them and not over them they#keep validating the most diabolical shit they say/do to hace a chance w them. they broke up w their ex and the way they keep leading#this poor girl on and making her heartbeeak worse and saying that they want more power over her and want her to beg for them back etc...MY#JAW HAD DROPPED esp bc i didnt even know the ex was in the picture BECAUSE ME AND ONE OF OUR FRIENDS (that they also dated) HAD JUSR SLEPT#NAKED TOGETHER IN THEIR BED W THEM. GIRL. anyway that is the least of the diabolical stuff they said but no we are moving onnn#this was b4 the beautiful butch btw. anyways . i have a mitski concert tmrw i think?? idek anymore#i used to have a crush on this guy very briefly and then it disappeared and then i realised if he fundementally changed everything abt#himself then maybe id like him but ofc i didnt tell him that but i still think abt it sometimes but anyway thats irrelevant now bc 99% sure#even if he did id still not find him attractive (lesbianism). please recommend good overnight moisturisers btw i have super dry skin#right. the friend of 10 yrs. we had a hard convo abt why she essentially bullied me in year 8 and it made me highly bitter but i also love#her and ik things are diff now its been like . Many Years . and shes going to stay a while I HAVE TWO EXAMS I DONT HAVE TIME but i love her#its fine. i think i might just switch into medicine and do the whole become a neurosurgeon thing (which was my plan B) bc plan A is looking#kinda impossible rn. I WANNA TALK MORE ABT WHAT THE EX SITUATIONSHIP PERSON SAID but i wont bc i dont wanna be too mean but also . MY GOD#i had a conversation w a philosopher friend about whether i have a moral responsibility to try to fix them bc unleashing this on society#feels wrong and he said 'probably but...run' so yeah im not talking to them atm. second date w beautiful butch on monday btw IDK WHAT TO#WEAR. she said she likes fems. im just gonna wear the shortest ralph lauren skirt i have w the cute leg warmers and hope 4 the best#its 1:15 AM im abt to drink coffee and start studying bc what the FUCK man. also almost finished watching the boys its very good#one of my best friends is struggling rn it is breaking my heart i want to take the burden from her i miss her very much
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How its been going if I'm being quite honest
#Sorry this is ooc it's just how I'm feeling#My brain went 'oh? You're in the middle of the worst week of your life? Here's a random character to fixate on until things calm down 👍'#I'm back at the apartment btw#Severe thunderstorms here so they kept us in the air for an extra hour#But yeah I'm sorry I've been inactive and not chatty lately. Just going through a lot right now and it's taking its toll#I'm doing what I can just to keep myself from falling to pieces#On the brightside the paper work went through so she will be seeing the specialists on Monday if all goes well#On the downside I just can't stop crying#I can barely walk as soon as I got in I just collapsed#I barely slept all weekend#This is the first shower I'm taking since Thursday night#Haven't brushed my teeth either#I know I smell like shit I just couldn't be bothered#My hair was matted to my head#I felt bad for everyone at the airport but I just couldn't bear to be away from her longer than absolutely necessary#Cruddy rambles
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scrolling back through my liveblogging of the day of the nyc concert because of recent notifications and its such a fun mixed bag of emotions to relive it all again
#helloooooo pineapple in my notes i do not mind the likes and reblogs <3#but it was such a crazy day that day of the show. so much happened#i also didn't remember that the day before the concert is when my bus got messed up and was taking me back to ny#and i had to get a car service home and everything#and then there was the concert the next day!#and what i had done was worked monday. took all of tuesday off for the concert. got like maybe 4 hour of sleep if that#and then went back to work wednesday. stupid#it worked out fine lol but i dont think id do it that way again idk#other remembrances of the day:#my biggest regret is getting all worked up abt my stupid letter that never got to them anyway like jeez. obviously i still enjoyed the show#but still. OH and i missed out on getting the latte pinback buttons#not the biggest deal but i did want those. i was just awkwardly standing around before the nyc show#and the merch line was always super long anyway#what else. oh i wish i could have met those of you that were there. but next time! im cooler now so next time.#the show itself was crazyyyy. again so fun and surreal#one of the tags on my original review was something along the lines of me having not been this excited since i was a kid#and it was really like that. like it really was that absolute pure overjoyed excitement that i haven't felt for a long time#i felt the same at the hollywood bowl. just having so much fun (missing it now lol 🥲)#cant remember if i mentioned this before but when i was standing outside the stage door i saw both spike lee and adam driver leave backstage#adam driver is Tall. i didnt even recognize him at first fdhgkgkg#anyway. some thoughts almost a year later wow!
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#new harness and leash for benny#we match now 👯♂️#we are moving to maine next monday!!#been running around like a chicken with its head cut off for weeks now getting ready to go#I did not sit down today except for the hour and a half I was at a goodbye lunch with one of my work friends#diary#ben
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i won’t screenshot the dms bc i don’t feel like opening the latest message but EYE posted on my story abt the tiktok pictured below basically about how i got horny thinking abt someone working through a difficult math problem lol don’t worry abt that anyway sam slides up bc i cut part of it out so as to avoid insta censors and my slight embarrassment lol and was like does that say c*m and i was like well yes and then he was like haha what you’re into math… girl u have to walk w the thought process 😑 which i know you’re incapable of anyway so i vaguely responded like ah yeah what being away from stem for so long will do to u and he responds with like ten messages. including. ‘you gotta do it yourself’ that’s not the point 🙄 ‘you know how i’m terrible at talking to women’ wow really ‘so i realized i can calculate the speed of cum’ ‘bc i have some data’ DID I ASK?????!???!?!!!?!!!!! hello there’s oversharing and then there’s this… does the girl you’re having sex with know you share to this extent. and then he said how he accidentally brought this up to someone irl to be like haha awk whoops and i was like yeah well there r times where perhaps we need to self censor. and then i also get a message that’s like ‘hang on im doing the math’ IM NEVER EVER EVER GONNA BE ATTRACTED TO U I HOPE U KNOW THAT SCREAAMMMMM (and u need to know bc he’s genderfluid. im only using one set of pronouns for clarity on here ok i promise im not a dick. but he thinks he’s like. an exception for lesbians basically… like he doesn’t Count…. and like look im no essentialist im all for like freaky gender sex but also at so many other turns you do take advantage of being seen as a white male so. i don’t. yeah.) he’s kind of like the creepy dude at the edge of the friend group in high school named matt who would constantly harass me and my ex but like tried to be so lowk abt it. and it’s so bad basically. ‘17mph is crazy’ i hope you fall in an intersection sorry i can’t do this anymore 😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫 so pissed i have to see him tmrw i should be able to watch mmxxl w scully in peace
#like. WHAT possesses a person to say all this#it’s not like i’ve never talked abt sex stuff w sam or friends i mean look at my major and shit we’re watching we’re all adults here#but like HUUUUHHHHH???? on my silly little story about wanting to watch someone do calc or some shit… shut up…#it’s actually insufferable and i need u all to know. it has not always been to#like. this egregiously bad. certainly there are some flags i missed over time even when we first met maybe but he was significantly#more chill last year.. at least as far as i interacted w him. this is like. yeah idk#and just any time we’re together in person now he launches into whatever is on his mind or he’s up to at that moment what happened to hello#how are you etc. not that i can even like stand conversation esp like. dude we haven’t talked since the day we recorded the podcast#assignment which was also egregious. why would you start off like this. hello#abby talks#i hope his other roommate like beats him up or something. wont happen but well#AND more importantly. do i wear a mini skirt tmrw if i’m seeing roommate#we’re supposed to but we were also hoping to hang outside and now it’s gonna rainnnn but we’ll see#i don’t usually go for a cunty little fit on a monday. but i could. AND i get to go to class a half hour late
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I snapped today at work, and by snapped I mean I politely commented on a help desk ticket by summing up an mess of an (type of) issue that's come up for at least the fourth time in the 2+ months I've been managing user accounts, and asked the person responsible to fix it (himself for once) because last time I fixed his mess-up it took me two whole days to work out the details with at least four other colleagues from different departments and I really don't want to do it again. there's other shit that needs doing, I've been working 10+ hour days for most of this week already, so I need to cut down not add on more.
(good thing tho - at least we managed to fix the issue where the dataset of a newer employee got mixed up with another one of the same name and therefore wasn't able to apply for any of the access/accounts she needed. technically not entirely my area but it does impact us not being allowed to create an account for her so I figured I might as well track that issue down. took three days and at least three other people, but hey - it should all work out now. yay for that)
#been feeling anxious af ever since bc it's the first time I've been this firm in a reply and idk how they'll take it#there's underlying issues in inter-departmental communication that need fixing that cause these issues to happen again and again#but my boss is on parental leave and his substitute is sick not that she cares or is up for doing her job where communication is concerned#so there's no real sense in addressing that rn esp by me who's only been there since June. but it does frustrate me a lot#anyway. I'm sure I'll get over this too. but yeah.. ppl not thinking things through for the two mins it takes to create an account#or the twenty seconds it takes to check if one already exists before creating a new one#or the minute it takes to check if folks still have an active contract past their time working in your department before deleting an accoun#just jfc. put in a smidge of effort and five mins total and save the rest of us from spending half a day to fix your mistake#oh well. if I get a pissy response I'll just blame it on being new as an intern and being too motivated and idealistic I guess#god forbid I expect people to do their jobs thoroughly or with at least a singular thought..#anyway. I feel like I'm allowed to be grumpy abt this since we are the folks who end up having to fix this shit#and by we I mean pretty much mostly me at this point bc one colleague is sick atm. my boss barely has time for this and is on leave#and my other colleague only works half time so I'm the one who's been handling most of these over the past month or so#which.. is still insane considering how I'm a goddamn intern who shouldn't even have admin rights tbh#but without them I couldn't do anything at all lol so here I am. nice that they trust and believe in me I suppose#that's why I try to do my best. (who am I kidding that's always the case anyway)#but yeah. definitely a 50% staff support job and only 50% of the other important things that need doing rn it's more like 90/10#and it's funny how I still dread my two hours of hotline. but every time the line is too busy I still jump in#we are also only 6 people atm out of 10 and three of us are still in training. and one of the trained folks had to come back in mid time of#next week we'll likely be 4#depending on if our substitute boss lady is back.. not that I'd look forward to it. she's a mess and she's been horrible to deal with latel#sure. she's stressed. but she's either snapping at me when I ask abt shit I can't know yet or she's ignoring me. great basis for team work.#so honestly I'd rather she not return on Monday. esp not if she's gonna spread her germs everywhere#but now sleep. sorry for the rant. it's certainly been quite the month since I returned from my own wisdom tooth rated sick leave..#gotta be up again in 6.5 hrs so I can be at work at 6 to let the electrician in. I'm gonna sleep so hard over the weekend I stg#a day in the life of..
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getting tired of the team leader's inability to put down sensible shifts
#they give us the hours two weeks in advance but what's the use if i always have to change it#like. this week i was supposed to be home tuesday thursday (festive day) and sunday#so far ive been asked to come in tuesday the she said she would do it so im like 👍🏻 then she discovered she has to do stuff on thursday#and tried to make my coworker do it then said she will do it and now wrote me if i want to work on sunday on her behalf (bc otherwise she#has no day off)#like how did you not know from the past years there's stuff to do on the 15th still and how did you not plan another day off around that and#how do you not realise that now i have to work all day on saturday morning on sunday all say on monday and no rest until next sunday with a#4 hours overtime too#i am so tired man....... learn how to make a time table or fucking make someone else do it bc we're all tired
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I do not like having to go to the DMV… I do not like it at all.
#pardon my insanity#this has been a week of facing things that I do not like#large and busy airports (kudos to CVG for getting me through TSA real fast and making that part nearly pain-free though)#all the *escalators* in said airport#(I get severe vertigo on escalators… I do not like them -especially going down)#(this was actually the first time I’ve managed to get on a downward escalator since before Covid lockdowns)#went to the dentist for something a little more invasive than a typical checkup less than two hours after getting home Monday…#…the dentist made the airport seem like a cake walk#(usually not fearful of the dentist… but that’s the first time I’ve had to have novocaine shot in my cheeks and that was weird)#and then the DMV was such a pain yesterday (and online instructions prior to were different than there so I had to leave and come back)#…DMV successfully made Monday’s dental procedure feel easy!#and now tomorrow I have to wrangle my cat who is terrified of the vet *back* there because five weeks and her ear infection won’t go away#and listen to her hyperventilate and try to dig her way out of the carrier the whole drive up (which scares the ever-loving crap out of me)#she does that on Gabapentin too -it’s that bad
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would it work to bribe the youth with fanfiction
#the teenagers at the church youth group have been horribly disruptive#many of these kids are fandom dorks. i see ao3 in their souls#and like. their behaviour has reached a limit for me and the other leaders#i'm wondering what we can do that is additive for good behaviour instead of subtractive for bad behaviour#(<- which we did have to do because we can't trust these kids to rock climb)#so if i wrote fanfiction they would have to behave well to hear the next chapter of#would that work#i don't think so and i'm only going to raise this with the other leaders if i still find it funny two weeks from now#also if you go to [redacted] youth group and your parents get the letter tomorrow/monday that we cancelled rock climbing we just announced#your actions have consequences i've been spending the past 24 hours angry and stressed whenever i think about this :)#when i say lying is good (i don't say that to them) i mean in 'not outing people' not in 'hiding a kid has thrown up 3 times'
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surprise panic attack???
#that hasn't happened in at least like five years#idly realized i'm double booked for pretty much my entire weekend#and i didn't get done half the shit i was supposed to get done today#and i'm having surgery on monday (which i'm thrilled about) but everything MUST be done before then T.T#had the passing thought that i forgot to warn my partner about a last minute schedule change with work for the weekend#and i think i just bunny trailed a lightning round of thinking about e v e r y t h i n g that needs to get done and i got super overwhelmed#hence panic attack#been so long i forgot what it feels like and it took me a heck of a while to realize what was happening#think im going to end up calling out of all but my two pre-req tests i'm running this weekend#they're only an hour each#uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh time is passing too slow (i want it to be surgery day T.T) and too fast (there's too much to do between then and now)
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The fucking disconnect is so real.
#theo's thoughts#Story time for the people who love reading tags bc I love sharing things in the tags#So I work at a therapeutic day school and this past school year like four school days before Thanksgiving break I was asked a question#The question was if I would be willing to step up and be a long term sub in a middle school classroom#To me this was less of a question and more of a hey we need someone to do this and you're who the assistant teacher asked for#Which cool yeah fine I'll give it a go I really like that person (the assistant teacher who asked for me) and I trust her judgement on this#I was asked and accepted on Thursday. Friday‚ Monday‚ and Tuesday happen. Then three day Thanksgiving break#When we got back from break I was the teacher and it was rough at first and it sure as hell was never easy but I enjoyed it#My formal teacher observation was my boss basically going like so I see you doing all the things and the basis is there#But it's not being followed through on because of behaviors from the most unmedicated classroom I've seen in all my years working education#And now for the summer they're changing 2/3 staff that were in the room and who even knows who the teacher will be (a new hire? Maybe?)#If there truly is a new hire coming in (fed to the wolves immediately btw what a dick move) but that new hire will be the fourth teacher#These kids have had in a year? A year and a half max. The fourth. After the only thing I've been repeatedly told by admin for months#Is that we need to be stable and consistent because we may be these kids' only reliable source of that consistency and stability?#So you're going to have me come in and tell me I've done such a great job and then tell me you're moving me to 'give me a break'#Trauma informed care my fucking ass. I hope those kids raise fucking hell over it.#The brutal satisfaction of watching your own crops burn and knowing that the invaders will starve is great and all but these are kids!#They're barely just about to be teenagers (11 at the youngest and 14 at the oldest) and this is what you're going to do to them?#Yes they can be complete assholes and are often dicks to one another but they're in our school for a fucking reason? I don't get it.#Then two hours later after being told abt the change‚ the clinical director puts me as one of the three main recipients in an email#Saying that there's going to be a new student starting in that room in the summer and the real icing on the cake?#This all happens on last day before summer break. we're out of session for two weeks now and you're just dropping these changes on us now?#God I'm so fucking tired
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My brain is. Absolutely buzzing with fic ideas right now and last night I started on a new one because I felt like i had to at least get the premise down before I lost it, but now I'm nearly 6k words in and oh no I don't have time to get another longfic wip going.... I'm 140k words deep into two other longfics right now 😭 I want to get into it, but I have too many stories fighting for attention in my head and this won't end well if I hop between them all bc I want to finish something for once. Ahhhh!!! Darn you limited time.
#It's about to get so much more limited because I'm starting 6 day a week FFXIV prog on Monday#technically I started last night (so I was up until 11:30pm writing the first 2k words of this...) but we have today off bc I have a concer#and like. getting off work at 3:30 if i then have 3 hours of prog. an hour to make dinner. 30-40 minutes to walk/run/exercise#that's not enough time to get out many words of fic. not if i want to do other enjoyable things with my life#so my productivity is going to tank.#so far my daily average wordcount for may has been over 3k which is insane. but i haven't had raid in ffxiv this so far this month#so that means a lot more time to write. as in 3 more hours per night to write. not that i usually write for 3hrs#but still. you get the gist of it. it's also 3 hours i'm not sitting at my computer so it's easier on the body to sit at the comp and write#anyway for anyone who is reading these tags for a mysterious reason. 1) hi. 2) this is. you probably guessed it. a dmc fic#this one is based on the vergil time travel idea that spaceacerat proposed. there are so many ways it could go but-#-this is one that would take place right before sparda leaves so sparda is still there and vergil has to convince him not to go#the thing there is i'm not really sure how it would end...in my other time travel fic i DO have an explanation for how sparda died#but i developed it specifically for that fic and it would not work for a happy ending in this fic. which i'd like to have#that fic also takes place after sparda's gone so. y'know.#but yeah i...as i'm writing this i now have somewhat of an idea for an ending but it's. bittersweet? maybe? hmmm#but yeah! never underestimate my love for time travel fics it's my favorite trope of all time. has been since i met trunks dbz as a kid.#erurandomness#erubabbles
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