#it's been long enough since i read it that i forgot many of the details so im genuinely like i wanna knoww what happens next !!

[leaving-fragments]

i can't believe i have to wait 8 more days until the next episode of a good day to be a dog... are you telling me they don't even come out weekly

[reiderwriter]

Hi!!! I really love your writing 🥺 Idk how this works so Idk if my request is alright so If it's ok for you to write it, I got this idea about Spencer turning into a player/manwhore after maeve died so he's not into y/n in the beginning but the others always joke about how she's totally in love with him and he doesn't believe until he starts to notice little things she does for him(like getting him coffee every morning, remembering everything he says) so he start to fall for her. Genre: smut with soft!Dom Spencer, dirty talk, degradation(please no daddy kink) (Sorry if it's to long, I read it's best for you if we give as much detail as possible so that's that) I'm going to identify myself with this emoji 🥺 when I read the fic or in my next requests, hope I gave you something to write with.

A/N: Thank you for the request and omg this plot has given me brain rot since you sent it in 💀 I accidentally made this a little angst-heavy for the first half but there's a very "happy ending" if you catch my drift. I hope you love it! ❤️

Summary: Spencer Reid's heart is broken. But in healing himself in the arms of countless woman, he doesn't realise he's breaking yours.

Word count: 4.6k

Warnings: Hurt/Comfort, angst, oral (F receiving), fingering, P in V penetration, dirty talk, degradation of you squint a little, soft!Dom Spencer is incredibly soft.

My masterlist with all my other works is here, and my requests are open!

It had taken four whole months before someone on the team had confronted Spencer about his grief, his lack of sleep, his overall dreariness, and they were almost shocked that it wasn’t you that did it. When Rossi had walked up to him, offering a story about his Uncle Sal in an attempt to get him to open up, or at least seek help, the others were on the other side of the glass, shooting looks over at you, quietly enquiring with their eyes about why it hadn’’t been you to offer him that out.

But you had, you’d been trying. You’d been following him around, taking him food every couple days to make sure he was eating, sticking around to make sure that he wasn’t lonely. You’d even cleaned up after him on the particularly hard days, where he didn’t want to move from his bed and couldn’t bring himself to go outside if there was no work, no one else to save. But you couldn’t offer him more, because he already had all of you.

You’d first realised that you were in love with Spencer Reid a few months after you’d joined the team. You’d been bought on as a fresh set of eyes on a case that had a lot more to do with you then the rest of the team had been led to believe.

Your high school boyfriend had been the victim of a notorious highway murderer, and you yourself had been kidnapped by the unsub, put in hell for the following three days and escaped with your life only because of an earlier BAU team, including agents Hotchner and Rossi. When bodies had started turning up on the same stretch of highway, you needed to be involved or you’d never prove to yourself that you could do what they did to save you. That you’d be able to put your feelings aside and catch monsters.

You’d found the man responsible of course, and in restraining yourself from putting a bullet in his brain, you’d found yourself a place on the team, and some peace for a time. And then Spencer happened.

You really should have known. You were always fond of the nerdy type, of men who had such deep interests that they forgot to pay attention to social queues, who had too many cute habits (like purposefully mismatching socks) that you couldn’t help but find endearing. You’d grown close quickly, with the man grateful that there was finally someone to listen to him ramble and not judge him, and you grateful that he also held himself back enough, listened closely and well to remember so many details about your conversations. You knew an eidetic memory helped, but it was the care in the small actions, like buying you the beanie baby you lost as a child but still mourned, that you’d mentioned in conversation a grand total of one time, that really solidly made you realise. You were in love with him and had dug yourself a hole that you weren’t going to be able to climb out of anytime soon.

You’d almost told him once. Convinced that if you just explained your feelings, he’d suddenly feel the same or realise that he felt the same way, too. You’d opened your mouth to let the words run freely, but he beat you to it.

“I’ve met someone, and she’s totally brilliant and I think I might love her, and that must be an insane thing to say considering I’ve never even seen her face.” You’d willed the broken pieces of your heart together as you forced a smile on your face, ready to listen to the man who owned your heart smile for another, live for another, breath for another.

When Maeve had ultimately passed away, you knew that you’d never be able to say those words to him. You weren’t going to be the replacement for a dead woman, and you weren’t going to push those feelings on him when he was grieving. But you loved him and he needed you, so you stayed.

On the nights where he was so angry with the world that his words were biting, on the days where he said almost nothing so trapped inside his brain, in the hours between dusk and dawn where there was no rest for him, wiping away the tears that fell silently and just being as near to him as he needed.

You had some experience in broken hearts, anyways. You might as well put it to good use.

–X–

It had taken five whole months since Maeve’s death for the team to realise that Spencer was changing. He was still the same person intrinsically, ready to spring into a conversation about absolutely anything and everything that interested him at the drop of a hat, still debating with Penelope about which of them was smarter, still being teased in that playful way by Morgan. But there was a confidence to him now that was almost dangerous in the fact that it was uncharted territory for him.

You’d noticed it first on one of your regular coffee runs. The two of your were so serious about your coffee tasting like anything but actual coffee that you’d bonded over the need for a sweet treat, and had been going for coffee before all of your office shifts almost since you’d started. You were glad to have him finally back by your side, making stupid jokes about how many philosophers it would take to change a lightbulb, and actually smiling and laughing with you that you almost didn’t notice anything amiss.

But when the barista who took his order carefully slipped him her number - something she’d been doing for the whole six months you’d been frequenting that cafe - for once, he hadn’t thrown it away. He’d taken a lingering look at the digits inked neatly into the napkin and quietly slipped it into his pocket. You were confused to say the least, but since that night of your almost confession, there had been a boundary between you two in that sense.

It was almost as if, if you didn’t ask questions about Spencer’s love life, it was like he wasn’t out there, being in love. With Maeve it had worked fine because he’d never met her, and honestly, until you’d started trying to save her he hadn’t brought her up a lot. But now, you were too afraid to break your own heart again to check up on him, deciding to let it go for your own well-being.

The others had noticed soon enough. Comments about a pep in his step, his flirtacious manner with some of the female witnesses. He’d gained a few claps on the back from Morgan after closed off conversations that you had decided you were thankful not to have heard.

Because if you never saw or heard what Reid was doing, and apparently doing with multiple women, multiple times a week, then it couldn’t hurt you anymore than you were already hurting now.

–X–

It took seven months from Maeve’s death to realise that you were only fooling yourself this entire time.

Despite his new-found release, the therapy he’d found in the beds of women whose names he never learnt, there was one thing that you could still rely on with Reid, and that was your Friday night Star Trek watch-along.

You’d mentioned once a few weeks into your job that you’d never seen it before, and he’d had this absolutely starry-eyed look on his face in bewilderment, that when he’d half-heartedly suggested you watch it together, you’d leapt at the chance. Since there was so much of it, here you were over a year later, still keeping to that Friday night ritual. You’d watched it together in motels in the middle of nowhere, you’d watched it together over the Christmas holidays, you’d watched it together in the days directly after Maeve’s death, and tonight was supposed to be no different.

You pulled up to his apartment and knocked on the door, and when you couldn’t immediately hear him shout to “come in” from his kitchen as he was preparing the popcorn, you knew that something was wrong. His door was always unlocked, and he laughed at your habit of knocking on the door, insisting that you could just walk in anytime you needed.

Now that you needed to, your hand seemed heavier than ever. You gripped the cold metal of the handle, knowing exactly what you would find on the other side of the door, but still wanting to live in the clear denial of it. You prayed it was something else keeping him distracted.

You let yourself in and were welcomed with the sight that shattered your heart for the final time. There were clothes scattered across the floor, male and female. Shoes discarded in the heat of the moment. You didn’t want your eyes to follow, but your feet weren’t listening as they walked you to the bedroom door, thrust wide open, and you saw him there finally.

“Shit, Y/N, what are you doing here?” he scrambled to pull his clothes back on, to cover whatever woman it was underneath him that day, to make sure you didn’t see anymore of the image that would be burned into the back of your brain for the rest of your life.

You couldn’t say anything. You knew that he had been doing this, doing it to cope, doing it to move on, doing it to feel a sense of intimacy after he didn’t get that with Maeve. But here was the irrefutable proof that he’d never even looked at you with an ounce of the feeling you had for him. You held up the bag of snacks you usually bought to your Trek marathons as a response, the tears filling up your eyes rendering you mute as you finally tore yourself out of the room.

“Oh god, it’s Friday. I didn’t realise…. I’m sorry, can we do a raincheck, Y/N?” He guided you further out of the room, placing a hand to the small of your back to help move you along. Something in you snapped then and you recoiled from his touch, whipping your head up to him and just staring at him with all the defiance you could muster. He had broken your heart, you weren’t going to let him dismiss you that quickly.

“Y/N, why are you crying? What’s wrong, what happened? Tell me and I’ll do everything I can to fix it.” He finished his words, and made to wipe the tears from your face, but you slapped his hands away from you before he could make contact.

“Don’t… just don’t touch me, Spencer.” Those were the only words you could offer in explanation before you turned on your heel and ran straight out of his apartment for the last time.

–X–

It took one month from you storming out of his apartment for Spencer to realise that he hadn’t dreamt of Maeve in the same amount of time. Where his dreams had been full of her asking him to dance, they were now full of you recoiling from his touch, refusing to speak to him outside of your professional work, withdrawing into yourself and crying. The worst ones were the ones where you were crying because he tried desperately to hold you, to wipe the kisses away, but everytime he tried you moved further and further from his reach.

It had been a month of you ignoring him, and he still didn’t know what went wrong. Yes, you’d caught him in bed with a girl, but you knew he was doing that. You’d known from the start, and he’d known that you’d known, so surely it wasn't just that.

Morgan wasn’t helping him on that front either. He’d explained the awkward run-in in his apartment, desperate for some answers and received some pretty curt replies.

“Pretty boy, if you don’t realise what you did wrong, then there’s nothing I’m going to do to help you. You’re on your own until then.” He’d refused to talk about it anymore.

He’d thought a few times about talking to the girls on the team, but you’d been partnered with JJ for the last month on cases to avoid him, and there was a bond there between the two of you that he didn’t want to overstep.

It was in this confusion that Rossi found him again, taking pity on the boy wandering around like a lost puppy in the absence of your friendship.

“Kid, what is up with you again recently?”

“Y/N has been avoiding me, and I don’t know why. Derek said it was my fault because she… well she walked in on something that I’d rather she hadn’t, you know, and I don’t know why she still won’t talk to me because it’s been a month.” He rambled out, thankful that someone was finally hearing him out.

“If I’m understanding your insinuation here, I think I know what the problem is.” Rossi sat back, choosing his words carefully, so as not to startle the younger man. But he was so worked up all over you, missing your voice, your touch, your company, and just wanting you back in whatever way he could get you that he jumped at the very suggestion of answers.

“Then please, tell me, I’m begging you. I’ve been tearing my hair out trying to figure out what it is and I just miss her so much that it hurts.”

“Spencer, you know I usually don’t get involved in the personal lives of my coworkers, but just listen to me now, nice and calmly - and dont try to interrupt me or say a word. I know what I’m talking about, okay?” He gave a quick nod of his head, waiting with baited breath for Rossi to continue.

“The girl is in love with you. Head over heels, in fact, and has been for quite some time. And she was holding it together real nice until you decided to become this casanova and now she is heartbroken,” Spencer looked like he was about to interrupt, to spew out that that couldn’t possibly be the case, but Rossi silenced him with a look. “If you don’t believe me, you use that memory of yours and you do what you do best. Think about it.”

–X–

For the next three months, that was all Spencer did. He thought about every interaction you’d ever had. The blush on your cheeks when he’d introduced himself for the first time (and refused to shake your hand). The countless nights spent curled up on opposite sides of his couch, laughing and crying together at silly sci-fi shows. The way you’d thrown yourself into his arms after a particularly gruelling case, buried your head in his chest instead of anyone else's. The day you’d finally confessed your past to him, how he’d felt your heart beating as he held a finger to your pulse, hand gently holding yours waiting for you to finish describing the time you’d stared death in the face.

You’d noticed the change, but you wouldn’t let yourself acknowledge it fully. Noticed how he’d shoot you lingering glances from across the room, how he’d look like he had something to say when you announced you were leaving for the night. How he’d ask everyone together what their friday night plans were just to hear you admit that you were going home alone in the company of the rest of the team.

You’d noticed, and god had it given you a spark of hope that you wished would die quickly. You’d noticed, and so you weren’t as surprised when he turned up on your doorstep four months after you’d last talked to him, on another friday evening.

“What are you doing here?” you greeted him, the words coming out colder than you wanted them to seem, inwardly cursing yourself for letting your emotions get the better of you.

“Don’t make me leave, please, I just have something to ask and I’ll leave you alone.”

“Spencer, it’s been a long day, and I just want to go to bed so-”

“Do you still love me?” His words cut you off and your heart all but stopped. Your tongue grew heavy, and the inside of your mouth tasted acidic, knowing that you weren’t going to be able to fully stomach whatever conversation was coming.

“Excuse me?” you spluttered out eventually.

“Three months ago, Rossi said that you were in love with me, and I need to know that if that was the case, are you still in love with me now?” You expected some cold curious look to be gracing his face, but you looked up to see his eyes perfectly trained on your own, his mouth set in a line, a look of stony determination set on his face.

“If I say yes, what difference does that make?” you tried not to spit out the words, but you had no control over the venom in your heart.

“If you say yes, then I am going to kiss you, and then I am going to spend every last day I have on the planet making up for being an idiot for the last two years.” Your breath caught in your throat, and, not for the first time in front of Spencer Reid, you were stunned into silence.

“So, what is your answer?” He looked down at you again, and you started to see the cracks in his stony facade, started to see through to the man who desperately wanted you to say yes, to scream it at him.

The word hadn’t even fully formed on your tongue before he was crashing down into you, his mouth pleading for forgiveness and wrapping you up in him. He grabbed you and pulled you back into your apartment, whispering into each of your kisses.

“I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry.” The two of you stumbled into the space, but he never moved his hands from the sides of your face, cupping your cheeks gently as his lips brushed against yours again and again.

Your legs gave way beneath you by the time you’d reached the open space of your living room, but instead of catching you, he fell to his knees with you, content for the two of you to just sit there together in each other's embrace.

“You’ve loved me this entire time, and I was too stupid to realise that you’re everything I need.” He kissed your mouth, your jaw, your neck, moving his hands from your face to your waist, pulling you in deep again as you desperately pulled away in search of breath. That only toppled you further to the ground, and he came down on top of you again as well, one hand coming up to cup the back of your head so you didn’t hurt yourself.

And you kissed him back just as fervently when your breath returned, listening to every apology and forgiving him with every touch. His kisses said “I’m sorry,” and yours said “I know,” and that was all the communication you needed for now.

He pulled your shirt over your head eventually, and your skin met the cold tile of the floor, a shiver running up your spine causing you to buck your hips up into his. He hissed at the contact and pushed his bodyweight down further into yours, his legs slotting perfectly between your splayed ones now.

“It took me too long to realise, and it has taken me too long to act on the knowledge, but I am not going to let you go again, do you understand?” he pushed his lips into yours again before you could respond, and you clawed into his shoulders as he started grinding down into your body. His hand trailed up your waist to your breasts, pulling them free from the constraints of your bra, as he let his tongue slide down from your neck to your chest.

“I need to hear you say it baby, need you to say you understand, can you do that for me?” Your body burned under his attention, back arching desperately for more contact as his tongue swirled your nipple into his mouth, gasping breaths loud enough to fill the empty air of your apartment. His stiff cock was firmly pressing against your core now, barely clothed in the pajamas you’d pulled on before his arrival.

“Spencer, yes, I need you, I need you right now, please,” grabbed at either side of his face and pulled him back up so he was face to face with you. You initiated the kiss this time, and you could feel your heart soar at the tender kiss he met you with, thankful for the reciprocation.

“Not yet, baby, not yet, okay?” he whispered in your ear, trailing his hands down to your centre and slipping his hand under your clothes. “So fucking wet for me, baby. Just for me, right, baby?” His fingers found your clit, and he started rolling it between his fingers. He worked slowly enough to drive you insane, but giving you just enough relief that you couldn’t complain.

“Yes, Spencer, yes, yes it’s all for you. Only for you,” you managed to gasp out. He shifted his hand after a few minutes, still pressing love bites down your chest, claiming you as his in the most animalistic way possible. He spread the wetness that pooled at your core around, making sure that his fingers were coated in you before pushing a single digit into your aching hole, thumb continuing to draw circles around your bundle of nerves.

“That’s my little slut, so desperate for me, so needy for me.” His words shot through you, and you started thrusting your hips up desperate for more friction with his hand. He roughly pushed you back down, pinning you under him with his free hand.

“No, baby, I’m in charge here. You sit back and relax and let me make you feel good,okay?” His words soothed you, the growing heat in the pit of your stomach fizzing in anticipation. His kisses dropped lower and lower, until he was finally pulling off your remaining clothing and replacing his thumb with his lips.

“Fuck Spencer, if you keep doing that, I’m going to-” another sharp intake as he pumped a second finger in and out of you.

“Going to what, baby? Use your words?”

“I’m going to cum, Spencer please, I’m going to cum, I’m going to cum.,,” you rode out your high with his face stuffed between your legs still, swallowing your loud moans for fear of the entire neighbourhood knowing just how obsessed you were with this man.

“You did so good for me, baby, so good. I love you so much, okay? I’m going to take care of you from now on, okay?” He began pressing kisses to your mouth again, and you could taste yourself against him now.

“I need you so badly, baby, are you going to let me have you?” He started pulling off his own clothing now, removing his shirt and tie, but never once leaving your embrace for too long.

“I love you so much, baby. I’m sorry for not realising before, but I realise now. I was so terrible to you after Maeve, and god, even before she died I was using you as a therapist to talk through my thoughts and fears, but I was too dense to even realise that I was only in love with Maeve because she was safe. I couldn’t meet her, couldn’t touch her, didn’t have the chance to ruin anything I had with her. I couldn't realise that she wasn’t you, that she wasn’t going to feel like you do in my arms. And maybe some part of me loved her, but we were using each other, and I was using her to avoid confronting how I felt about you.”

“And how I feel for you is different. I am obsessed with you, Y/N. I am so madly in love with you that the last four months have felt like hell. I could have emptied myself of all the blood in my body and still my heart would be beating for you. Do you understand?”

You answered in a chaste kiss on his lips, sweet and quick, but as much as you could muster without driving yourself to the brink of insanity getting yourself high on his touch.

“Use your words, baby. Tell me what you want now, okay?” He’d unbuttoned his pants shortly after that and you stared transfixed at the head of his cock poking up and out of them, desperate to see it, touch it, taste it.

“I need you inside of me, Spence, please,” you cried out, tears welling in your eyes at the tender contact, the confession. All the emotions you’d been burying for the last four months bubbling to the surface, dancing around your head as he made you dizzy with desire.

“You’re so perfect, Y/N. I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you,” with the last of his clothing removed he was finally free, taking his heavy,aching cock in his hand and lining himself up with you. With a single thrust, and another confession of love, he gave you what you wanted so much.

“You wanted me like this, baby? So desperate to have my cock inside you?” he plagued you with questions as you adjusted to his size, watching your face for any discomfort as you mumbled out yes after yes.

“Me too, baby. I wanted you just like this, wanted you so desperate and dripping for me that I could slide right in, wanted you like this for me and only me.” He began thrusting then, slowly pumping his cock into you, heavy with each return, the sound of skin slapping against skin joining the ensemble of your moans.

“I love you,” he said again, and with each thrust of his hips, and you responded in kind, matching his thrusts with your own and pressing a kiss into the skin of his shoulders. You were so desperate and needy, so starved of touch and starved of one another that neither of you lasted long. Your bodies were so in sync that as soon as he’d pushed you over the edge for a second time, you could feel him spill himself inside you, filling you completely.

He rolled off you, but didn’t leave you there, picking you up and carrying you to the bedroom. He cleaned you up as much as possible, then folded you back into his arms, holding you again so tenderly that you let the tears flow down your cheeks for a final time.

It was Friday night, and he was here, and he loved you. You weren’t going to let him go again.

[hikaruchen]

Reading this blog and procrastinating what I should’ve been doing at the moment, but it’s super helpful if you want to know more about the Anglo-Saxon and Viking material culture but don’t want to be bored to hell. All articles are done by an archaeologist specializing in mortuary archaeology, and he has already written several ones about burials and pagan practices during that time through the lens of The Last Kingdom. I’ve linked one of his posts before on ao3 when discussing about the historical accuracy of Alfred’s tomb effigy in the show under the pic Prayer from the Pagan, but didn’t really had the time to check others out. I just did it and find his other articles are actually super interesting to read as well.

For instance, back when I post this pic in January I said the colour palette was inspired by the Alfred jewel, but I completely forgot that it actually appeared in the show (2x04) where Alfred handed it to Æthelwold and said “Take this. It is a symbol of my kingship. Bear it with authority.”, which might be partially true but is hilarious if you give it another thought.

Because, why, in God’s name, would Alfred hand an ARTEFACT version of the piece he commissioned himself to his nephew? As Prof. Williams already stated (in this post), the Alfred jewel has long been assumed to be the handle part of a pointer stick for following words when reading a book, and if you look at the artefact itself it is quite clear that there’s a part that’s been missing as well. The reason why scholars think it has something to do with Alfred is because:

1) It’s written. The text on the frame literally says that “ÆLFRED MEC HEHT GEWYRCAN”, which means “Alfred ordered me made”. The more detailed explanation below (with the help of beloved wikitionary since I don’t understand Old English at all)

ÆLFRED (subject) Alfred, obviously MEC (object) me; accusative of iċ (I), but in the West Saxon dialect it’s actually an uncommon version of iċ’s accusative and is more often seen in the Anglian dialect. The frequently-used version for West Saxons is mē HEHT (verb) ordered; third-singular past tense for hātan (to call; to order etc.), often followed with infinitive verbs, cognate with heißen in German GEWYRCAN (verb) to make; I honestly don’t know if “to make” and “to be made” is just the same word in OE help And since the word order in OE is random as hell thanks to the case system (much like German which I eventually gave up learning because I don’t have a brain big enough for that. IT MAKES NO SENSE TO A NATIVE MANDARIN SPEAKER THANK YOU), it is eventually translated into “Alfred ordered me to be made”.

2) It was discovered in Somerset and has been dated to the late 9th century, and we all know what Somerset meant to Alfred

3) Alfred did say he would send a copy of his translation of Gregory the Great’s Pastoral Care to every episcopal see in his kingdom in the preface to it, with the book accompanied “an æstel of 50 mancuses”. Mancus was a term to denote a gold coin or a unit for coins worth about a month’s wage for a skilled worker, such as a craftsman or a soldier. Whatever that æstel is it must be worth hell LOTS of money

But honestly while I do think this interpretation sounds very much plausible I’m thinking about other possibilities as well - how many Alfreds exactly existed during his time? We know that Æthel in OE means noble, so people bearing this prefix in their names were usually royal members or at least aristocrats, but what about Alfred? Was Alfred a popular name? Or was it unique enough that he could just go by this name without mentioning his title at all? Imagine if it were an Æthelred who made this, who the hell would know which one of these it was referring to, Æthelred the King, Æthelred the Ealdorman, Æthelred Ealhswith’s father, or even Æthelred the fucking Archbishop??? And yeah, I know Alfred was the king ™ here and there isn’t really much space left on the frame after all, but surely it wouldn’t cost a bone to add a cyning behind his name, right?

Sadly, as it was in the pre-Domesday-Book era, I can’t find the statistics of Anglo-Saxon names at that time (but keep in mind that there were at least 19 Alfreds worthy enough to be mentioned in Domesday Book even after the conquest. I don’t know if this says anything at all but I do want to mention it) What I’m trying to say is while it is highly highly highly likely (and I do believe and want to believe in this theory!), we cannot be one hundred percent certain that this jewel was really from the Alfred we’re talking about. And even if it was, it apparently wouldn’t be carried around by Alfred like THAT. Because that would be like, “Bear this with authority! Even though the symbol of my kingship is broken!”, said Alfred to a king wannabe. Lol.

The other thing I want to mention is this post about the show’s use of Fuller brooch, the one Alfred wore in S2 when he was in his war gear.

First of all, it is indeed dated to late 9th century and is assumed by scholars to be made by metalworkers of Alfred’s court. Everything is fine except I don’t think you would want to wear jewelry that luxurious to war…but then there’s this thing:

MEET GIANT FULLERS!

Well, can’t blame them since I am basically doing the same thing with my drawings (i.e. using patterns on jewelry and illustrations from manuscripts for embroidery design). But it’s worth noting that designs that are suitable for one art form doesn’t mean they can be applied to another well, and that’s why I claim my art is inspired by Anglo-Saxon art but NOT historical accurate for the Anglo-Saxon period. The reason I still do this and think it is understandable for TLK crew to do so is because we simply don’t have that many resources to reference from when it comes to this time period, and fabrics and wooden buildings are just extremely hard to preserve by nature. Instead of screwing up the design on your own, it just has more fun to add real historical elements into your work. Look at those easter eggs!

Ok, that’s it. I hope you enjoy my long rant and have a good read from Prof. Williams’s works!

[be-co-me]

En Plein Air

Levi Ackerman

5.7k Words

Summary: A mysterious raven haired painter seeks solace in your flower laden patio and glasses of whiskey when he finds his hidden job turns awry. This is my submission for @kentopedia's valentine's collab event, Love Through The Ages. I urge you to go check out the rest of the fics as they are written and posted! (It tried to link it but it won't work for some reason!) This takes place during the late 1800's in the impressionism era in France. This has always been a favorite era of mine, specifically for the art that debuted around this time. Monet's pieces are my absolute favorite, specifically the water lily series and I think everyone should see it. I listened to Gregory Alan Isakov for the better part of writing this, so if you'd like to listen to some folk music as you read (I think the music is very fitting to the vibe of the fic), my three favorites are Empty Northern Hemisphere, If I Go I'm Goin, and Dandelion Wine.

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Impressionism. The art movement taking the world by storm along with the budding history and developments of the new age, especially had caught your eye. Vehicles, new necessities; water and electricity even being brought to the lower class, such as yourself would be labelled, though you had not yet been fortunate enough to have them in your own home as of yet.

But specifically, what most caught your eye was the art of the raven haired man sitting across the bar from you, occupying a table all by his lonesome as you polish glasses and watch his nimble hands paint, leaned over a decently sized canvas. 2.5x3.5 meters in size if you had to guess. The tall whiskey on the rocks he ordered earlier tucked to the edge of the table as to not disrupt his painting should it be spilled.

His jacket was discarded neatly across the back of the chair placed next to him, his hat forgotten along with his whiskey glass. You realized you had been polishing the same glass for the last few minutes as you stared, when another patron had come to the bar top to order.

Once you served them, your mind forgot the glasses and silverware that needed polishing to end the evening in favor of staring at the man located across from you once more. You noticed many more details of him as he was the lone subject of your attention now. His eyes had not yet met yours as his concentration must have been so deep.

You noticed the paint layered over his fingertips, vibrants and dulls covering the pale of his skin. The painting looked to be outdoors, and, if you didn't know any better, you would say yourself the painting looked finished, but the last three hours of refinery to detail he had done since the sun went down proved to you otherwise.

He suddenly looked up, his gaze meeting the whiskey glass he had long ignored. His paint covered finger tips grazed the top as he picked the glass up and took a long drag from it, smearing different colors along the rim of the glass, something you didn't think you would mind polishing off later in turn of seeing the finished product.

His eyes met yours as he set the glass into the same wet ring the table now adorned from the glass. You retreated your gaze to that of his drink, the ice now mostly melted, and glass now almost empty. Your staring could technically be deduced to the state of his drink, as you were the bartender, but you were wiser to know he would most likely not believe that statement.

He cleared his throat loudly, pushing his chair back and carefully paraded around his adopted work space as to not knock into it. He brought the glass up to your bar, placing it in front of your empty hands, steely gaze now meeting your own, at a much closer distance than you realized you'd be comfortable admiring him from.

The silence between the two of you was heavy as he did not say a word, the gramophone's music filtering through the space instead, something you had been lucky to receive as a gift from one of your more wealthy, regular patrons, saying he had already gotten a new model. Your gaze met the glass once more and you noticed it was now empty, a feat you didn't seem to notice as he made his way to the bar. He must have finished it off.

"Would you like another sir?" you asked, reluctantly meeting his rigid gaze once again. His head swiveled to the table he had occupied as a group of patrons walked past, eyeing the painting that sat atop it from a respectful distance, carefully critiquing it. His head turned back to you with a nod.

"Yes please." he responded, his gaze turning back to the table. You nodded in affirmation and turned to grab the whiskey he had requested earlier in the evening. You turned back to him as you poured, hoping you may engage in some small talk to find more detail into his character.

"Your eyes will be strained painting in the dim light you know?" you stated, eyes concentrated on the pour you gave him. You set the bottle down into it's rightful place and scooped some fresh ice into the cup, placing it back in front of him before meeting his gaze once more, looking for a response.

He stared for a few seconds before responding.

"Better light than my shitty apartment and I only get light in the studio during the day. This was a last resort to finishing by tomorrow." he replied bluntly, but softly, eyes grazing down your frame to give a once over before meeting yours again.

"Hmm. What's tomorrow?" you asked, leaning a cheek against your palm atop the bar in front of him, happy the plan for idle conversation had worked in your favor. His gaze met the table once again before turning back to you.

" A gallery. Not a large one by any means, although I wish to be represented in one someday." he responded, shrugging his shoulders as he sipped from the new glass.

"May I see what you are working on up close?" you asked. His eyes grazed your features once again as you sat atop your palm, taking another sip from your own glass the wealthy patron had bought you earlier in the evening.

"I'd rather you see it when it is finished." he responded. You hummed in response.

"When will that be?" you asked and he pondered the question.

"Depends on if you'll kick me out when you close or let me stay." he responded. It was your turn now to ponder his statement and you nodded, removing yourself from atop your palm and turning to eye the clock hung over the top of the bar, surprised to see the hands nearing closing time.

"I don't think that would be a problem." you responded with a soft smile. He nodded, standing to make his way back to the table. He sat and placed the glass in it's same dark ring as to not make another stain atop the wood, then plucked a fine tip paint brush off the top of his palette, beginning his work once again.

You stared a bit longer than needed, something you hoped he was oblivious to, before picking up the glasses once again and polishing them off.

As you finished your closing duties, the last of the noisy patrons leaving the bar, you poured yourself another tall glass of floral gin, with a dash of floral bitters and tonic. Your nose wrinkled at the burn of the alcohol, strong but smooth in flavor with a flowery lavender aftertaste.

As you finished wiping the bar top down and half of your earlier poured drink along with the task, the final on your list of duties now done, you eyed the raven head man's table, taking note of the empty glass next to him. You grabbed a fresh, icy glass and poured another out for him, bringing it along with your own drink to join him at the table.

You set the glasses down carefully, plucking up the empty glass placed next to him and replacing it with the fresh one. You carefully pulled a chair out next to him and watched him as he painted many more fine details across the span of the canvas.

The style vaguely reminded you of art you had seen in the papers from Claude Monet, an artist you had come to revere for his Nympheas series he had started not long ago. In favor of capturing the vibrancy of life, dark sharp lines were now replaced with colors, vibrant and dull to show the shadows, light, and depth of life in more fine and true toned detail. It also replaced the stuffiness of painting in studios with that of painting outdoors. En plein air they called it. It became a style you rather wished you owned a piece of, specifically that of Monet's work, though it was far too pricey and that dream would remain just so.

It made you feel free, a dream you wished could become a reality, to live in a home atop a pond of water lilies. Only you were not wealthy; your dresses and occupation told others that much, no matter how hard you could try to front that you were. Although you were the owner of a small bar tucked into the middle upper class estate, you were by no means seen as a respectable business owner to many of the wealthy that came to drink the afternoons and evenings away.

The clink of a glass hitting the table brought you back to reality, his eyes meeting yours as he dusted his fingers across a paint smeared cloth. You eyed the piece, wondering if it had been finished. Your eyes met his steely greys.

"Is it finished?" you asked. He nodded, continuing to wipe his fingers. an unlit cigarette sat between his lips, hindering him from responding to the question vocally. You leaned over the table even more, admiring the small details of the piece, attempting to eye the separate brush strokes.

"I'm assuming this won't be varnished correct?" you asked. His hand obscured his face, cupping around the end of the cigarette as he lit it with a match, waving the match around a couple of times to snuffle the flame out before setting it atop the table. He took a long drag, leaning back into the chair.

"You've done your reading haven't you?" he asked, blowing the cloud of smoke away from your direction. You nodded.

"I'm keen to this up and coming style and seeing where it goes," you started, eyes raking the other side of the canvas as you leaned over farther to catch a better glance at the details, "I find the switch up intriguing and rather more beautiful than works of the past." you responded, continuing to eye the painting.

A large garden bed of French lavender swaying in the breeze caught your eyes before moving onto other flowering plants adorning the canvas. It seemed to be of a farmers market, though you noted the lack of people on the canvas. Handmade dresses fluttered in the wind hung to the side of stalls, and you eyed one you thought may look rather good on yourself.

You spent a long while admiring the work and you both sipped your drinks in comfortable silence. You were sure it was well past midnight at this point, but you couldn't find it in yourself to care. You finally looked away from the canvas.

"It's beautiful. I may have to find where this market is to see it in person." you told him. Your eyes met the paint tubes littering the table, something you had failed to notice before. Maybe he's a bit wealthier than you are, being able to afford the new storage units for paint.

"You've gotten your paint in tubes. Quite hard to find around here." you noted aloud, meeting his eyes. He nodded, finishing his drink off.

"My uncle got them for me on a trip out of town. One of his customers was nice enough to give him a hefty discount, though I'm not sure I'll ever hear the end of returning the favor to him." he responded.

You pointed a finger to his drink and he shook his head. You opted to finish your own and stand, grabbing the discarded glasses and making your way behind the bar to wash them as he began to pack his supplies up. You made your way to the gramophone and halted the current shellac record that played, placing it into it's designated envelope and back to it's alphabetical bin.

You met him back at the table before grabbing your belongings, ready to also make your way home. He adjusted his jacket into prim and proper place after putting it on.

"I haven't paid for my drinks." he stated. You shrugged in response.

"Guess you'll have to come back and see me then."

---

You realized, rather irritated, the next morning, that you had never gotten his name. In favor of the spring day the farmer's almanac predicted would be warmer than the previous early spring season, you opted to open the outdoor patio of the bar for the day rather than the inside, which you would possibly open in the absence of the sun later in the evening. You now admired the flowers littering the small yard in a new light since seeing the mysterious man's painting. Maybe you could add even more flowers, specifically the French lavender that jumped out to your gaze in his painting.

Your morning went smoothly, your cup of coffee being replaced with that of the drinks a regular had bought you. He drank on absinthe, a flavor he had brought home from the military, something that had become quite popular, though you didn't admire the flavor the same way many other patrons had. You refused to drink it.

In the later afternoon, a warm breeze enveloped the patio and your eyes piqued at the raven haired man you had met the previous evening as he walked through the gate. He carried he same painting supplies he hauled last night, gaze wandering for a table that was open. Currently they had all been occupied and his eyes met your own as he made his way to the empty barstool in front of you. He looped his bag across the rung of the back of the chair, placing his jacket and hat across it before sitting atop the chair. You were rather glad you had worn a nicer dress in favor of seeing him again.

"The usual?" you asked, grabbing a glass to make the drink anyways. He nodded.

"Not quite sure I've been here enough for you to be asking me that question." he responded. You poured into the glass and scooped up the ice, placing the glass in front of him. He took a long sip from the glass, eyeing the drink sitting atop your work space. Your cheeks felt warm and you were sure they were rosy, the tip of your nose tingling at the slight buzz of the gin running through your veins.

"How was the gallery?" you asked. He shrugged, messing with the buttons of his white shirt as he unbuttoned the top two at his collar and the cuffs at his wrists, rolling them up a couple of times.

"I got quite the offer on one of my paintings. I'll be meeting the gentleman here later today." he responded.

"I'm glad I could convince you to come back, let alone bring others with you." you responded wittily, taking a sip of your drink. Your gaze wandered over his raven locks of hair, noticing the cigarette tucked behind his ear. His bangs fell into his eyes, probably due soon for a haircut, but you rather liked the longer hair on him.

He began to dig out supplies from the bag, canvas ditched for a sketchbook in lieu of the considerably smaller workplace he could now work with.

You continued your work as he began his, hastily making drinks as more patrons poured in. You thought you may let him know of an open table lest he'd want to move, but you'd rather he stayed closer, and he was so endowed in his work. You thought it better not to interrupt him unless you brought a new drink along with you.

As the afternoon slowed and patrons rolled in at a lesser frequency, you stood in front of him, taking a break from the drinks you had earlier in the afternoon once your wealthy regular left, in exchange for water. You tried to catch a glimpse of what he worked on, sketching out lines across the pad with graphite rather than any paint as of yet.

Another man made his way next to him, setting his own jacket and hat atop the back of the adjacent chair, and it was only now you got a glimpse of the work as he set the book down to shake hands with the new man. Your eyes scanned the page, a drawing resembling the flowers of your patio across the page. You felt a warmness trickle inside your chest as you looked back up, asking the other man what he would like to drink on after refilling the raven haired man's glass. Another whiskey, but neat this time.

His sketchpad then sat closed atop the bar for quite long as they conversed over the painting the man would be purchasing. You eavesdropped on their conversation, noting the painting being purchased would be the one he spent the better part of the day working on the previous evening.

You felt excitement for your newfound 'regular', dare you call him, when you heard the monetary value placed on the work by the other man, and in the raven man's expression, you found an honest surprise to what the wealthy man would pay for the fine art as they shook hands on the price, a celebration found in lieu of another drink.

As the evening sun faded into the starry sky, you lit the lanterns adorning your patio, painting it down to a bright orange and yellow haze.

"I'd like to tab out, and I insist you put Levi Ackerman's drinks on my own tab." the wealthy man insisted. You eyed the raven haired man, his gaze one of annoyance, in lieu of hearing his name for the first time before nodding. You told the man the total and he made his way out of the bar with his new piece, after leaving a hefty tip.

"It's a beautiful piece, I'm not surprised it was sold so quickly, Mr. Ackerman." you told him, testing his name on your tongue as you poured him a new drink.

"Just Levi please." he responded, taking a long sip of the fresh drink after you had placed it in front of him.

"Okay Just Levi, what are you sketching out now?" you asked. His eyes met yours in warning at the joke, shaking his head as he opened the closed sketchbook back up. Your eyes raked over it, as you found it the same as the last time you snuck a glance at it. He picked the graphite back up, beginning his work on it once more.

You noted the graphite smeared across the meat of his left hand, something you thought must have interfered with his work quite often. For sitting at the bar for the afternoon and evening, the depiction of the space you created was accurate in it's fullest across the page, the lanterns now being added in one by one.

You fell into the same routine as the previous night, Levi worked on his art as you closed your bar down, continuing to pour him drinks every so often. You poured one out for yourself, in search for a buzz from the alcohol again to warm yourself up in the colder breeze the night had brought in.

You finished your duties and your drink, pouring another as you made your way to the seat next to him, watching him as he leaned over the sketch and placed carefully calculated, soft smudges across it with oil pastels now, bringing the page to life with color. You noted the dull fingerprints of the pastels atop his glass, something you again wouldn't mind to polish away. You rather liked the lack of people in his paintings, you noted, as you found the depictions of the wealthy often polluted what you thought the nature of the paintings to be about; what they meant to you personally. Freedom.

He finished off the drink after half an hour, along with he sketch, and you grabbed the glasses, yours long empty and your body warm, as you washed the glasses under the warm water and set them atop a shelf to dry in the evening breeze.

You found the page torn out of the sketchbook when your eyes met his figure again, edges neat and crisp, sat atop the bar. He dug a glass frame out of the bag, placing the painting carefully into it. He then pushed the frame towards you across the bar top, and you picked it up with a sense of delicacy, careful to not mess with the pastels sat behind the glass. Your eyes roamed from the sketch to that of your patio a few times, noting the details even you would have failed to notice.

"Yet another beautiful piece of work. I'm quite honored you'd choose a place of my creation to bring to life." you commented, sliding the frame back to him carefully.

"You keep it. I insist. And let me pay that tab." he responded, fishing out cash from his pocket. You shook your head, taking the painting and placing it in a nook below the gin shelf so you may eye it more often in lieu of when you would be pouring your own favored drink to enjoy after long evenings.

"This is more than enough payment. I insist. So long as you let me enjoy your paintings, you can drink for free in my establishment." you responded. He left with a curt nod.

---

One day passed, then two. Three days became a week before you saw him again. You began to worry, and even felt a bit disappointed at the absence of your newfound favorite patron. A rather solemn look adorned his pretty features the next time you saw him walk through he gates of your patio, and you rather thought that he could be a painting himself as he walked to and sat across from you at the bar top right before closing that evening. You noted the lack of paint supplies and the angry red color under his fingernails and the blistering red of scrubbed hands in the lantern's orange light as he set his palms atop the bar.

"I hope that's paint under your nails Levi." you told him, your gaze leaving his hands as your brow creased in worry, turning to grab the whiskey bottle that sat abandoned the past week and pouring it into a glass. You heard a mutter of curses leave his lips and you set the cold glass in front of him. He took quite a long while before nestling the glass in between his hands and taking a sip from it.

You opted to try his drink of choice for the evening, abandoning your own in lieu of trying a new flavor on your tongue, your eyes still grazing over the oil pastel depiction of your patio every time you made a drink in his absence. The new type of burn made your nose scrunch involuntarily, a much stronger alcohol percentage invading your taste buds.

You turned to him once again as the notes of smoky wood and caramel smoothed over your taste buds, the strong alcohol leaving a rather pleasant flavor behind. You could see why he enjoyed the drink, especially colder.

You sat in a rather comfortable silence, and after he finished the first of what you assumed to be many drinks quickly, he let out a rather exasperated sigh, throwing his head back and leaned far back against the barstool, his arms folding across his eyes. You continued to sip at your own drink, grabbing the bottle next to you to pour into his empty glass, scooping the ice into it. His posture didn't change.

"Want to talk about it?" you asked, voice struggling as you took a sip of the strong whiskey, realizing he hadn't said a word to you in the half hour he had been there and you rather longed for the sound of his deep voice again.

It took him a long while to sit up before shaking his head. You nodded in response.

"I thought I'd have to revoke my offer if you didn't come back to see me you know." you joked lightheartedly, his gaze finally meeting your own, excitement fluttered in your chest as he inhaled to speak to you for the first time in a week.

"How have things been around here? Any trouble?" he asked. You shook your head in response to the rather random question, taking note of the lilt of edge in his voice.

"Just the regular drunk hooligans and their usual shenanigans on occasion. I'm far used to it by now." you responded, taking a sip of the drink. He reached into the chest pocket of his already buttoned down white shirt, grabbing the case of cigarettes and matches from it, lighting one up. He took a drag from it, blowing it away from you, eyes meeting your own once more.

"I'm glad to hear so. Seems to be trouble everywhere else." he responded.

"My offer still stands. Don't you know bartenders aren't only good at keeping bars but also secrets?" you asked with a worried smile, polishing away at a glass you'd forgotten previously to keep your hands occupied. His gaze met over both his shoulders, you assumed to confirm the lack of bodies besides the two of you within the vicinity before freely speaking of his absence the last week.

"Being an artist doesn't make much money you know, unless you're well known, which I am not." he said, pausing to sip at his drink, and you nodded in following attention of what he would explain. His tone became significantly quieter as he spoke next.

"My uncle works for the mafia, and unfortunately I have to help him. I owe him the debt of removing me from the deepest depths of society. No, I owe him my life, as much as I hate to say so. No favors that I repay him would ever be enough." he continued, ashing the forgotten cigarette before taking another drag from it.

You nodded, processing the information as you took another sip of your drink, the ice steadily melting. You wondered if that was all of the information he would allow you to know of the subject or if he would continue on. You eyed his hands once more, the redness of his skin waned, but remained underneath his fingernails. You ran a cloth under warm water as he continued to sip at his drink, grabbing at the brim of the glass in his particular way. You wrung the steaming towel out and placed your arms across the bar top, pointing towards his unoccupied hand. You couldn't help but to think the red was placed there earlier in the day, and after attempting to harshly scrub it away, he wanted to seek solace in your establishment and your presence.

"May I?" you asked, your eyes staring strongly into his own, the question coming out as more of a demand rather than a request for permission. His gaze softened and he nodded, placing his drink down on the bar top, the fingers of his right hand staying wrapped around it.

You gently wiped around top of his left hand, lightly rubbing into the creases of his fingers and knuckles before gently turning his palm over and doing the same, making sure to wipe over every millimeter of the skin on both sides before turning his hand over once more and beginning on his fingernails. His glass sat empty in your concentration and he reached for your own, something you didn't mind as you rubbed his cuticles clean.

You pulled the towel taught around your thumb nail, running it underneath his own nails to remove the angry rusty red. Once you finished his left hand, you ran the towel under the warm water once again, cleaning it of it's dirt now, setting your palm onto the bar in demand of his other hand without a word.

He placed his palm carefully onto yours and sipped at your drink carefully as he watched you clean his right hand. As you began on his upper forearms, you felt his muscles untaut across your palm and he visibly relaxed in your peripherals, a sigh leaving his lips. You felt your own shoulders relax as well.

"I like these hands more when they're covered in paint and pastels, not in danger Levi." you nearly whispered, finishing up underneath his nails. You placed the towel under the water once again, cleaning it thoroughly and tossing it onto the back of the bar after folding it up.

He brought his hand back to him, wrapping it around the glass in his other hand as he examined his now clean fingers. His bangs covered his steely grays as he pondered a response to your statement.

"I hope one day that's all you'll have to see them do." he responded quietly in return. You poured a short glass of the whiskey for yourself this time, topping his own off as well, reveling in the intimate environment the two of you had blossomed in the first of his visits.

For, in technicality, the third day of knowing him, you already felt quite a hearty connection to him, even more so than your more frequent bar guests. If anything had happened to him and he didn't come to the bar anymore, so suddenly, you'd be quite upset, on an even deeper level than you'd felt the past week.

"I hope I get to know you long enough to see that happen." you said, used to the burn of your drink now, your eyes meeting his own. You stared into his eyes, finishing the drink and placing the glass down. You stepped atop the milk crate at your feet and placed your elbows atop the bar, hands intertwining with the collar of his shirt as you pulled his face much closer to your own. His gaze penetrated your own as you took over the solemn conversation, noses nearly touching, your eyes flitting down to his lips and all around his visage, taking in his sharp features, dark long eyelashes, and plump lightly chapped lips before tracking back to his eyes.

You noted they were more of a slate grey, the flecks of blue you hadn't noticed before much more pertinent in the close proximity you'd brought about. The color reminded you much of the hydrangeas nestled in the back corner of your now peacefully quiet patio, peaceful, though your heart was thrumming harder than you think it ever had. His palms lay wrapped around your forearms in anticipation.

The color of his eyes dwindled away as they closed and his lips captured your own, the chapping of them brushing roughly against the edges of your lips. You captured his bottom lip between your own in an attempt to soften it against the petroleum across your own lips.

Your hands brushed the briary undercut he donned and his palms brushed over your shoulder blades with a squeeze as he pushed harder into the kiss you had initiated. You could taste the smokiness of his cigarette, homogenous to the smokiness and burnt caramel of the whiskey you had shared earlier in the evening, and you hoped he could taste the same on you.

Your intimacy was broken up by the loud thunder rumbling off in the distance, the breeze picking up strongly, something you failed to notice in your already lovesick state. You broke apart from him, chest heaving, staring into the slate of his eyes that reminded you oh so much of your hydrangeas you had moved closer to the front of your patio earlier in the week.

His palms lay wrapped around your forearms once again, yours in much of a similar manner. You smiled deeply at him and noticed for the first time that he returned the sentiment back to you. You sat in a more than comfortable silence as the pace of your breathing returned to normal, the searing warmth of his palms a comfort to your skin in the late cold breeze. The coarse thunder boomed once more, a streak of bright white light painting the sky and his eyes, before quickly disappearing into the covered stars.

"I need you to always come back. Please. You're my new favorite regular you know." you told him breathily. He nodded in response to the sentiment, gaze following behind you. Your eyes met the path his own followed, staring into the painting he had made for you the week before.

"Who would I tell my darkest secrets to if I didn't? And who would clean my conscience figuratively and literally when I've found myself in trouble?" he said in response, slate greys flitting back to you.

"I'll always be here, whiskey glass in hand, whenever you need it you know. I'm not going anywhere." you whispered. He nodded, rubbing his palm up and down the expanse of your now exposed forearms, your sleeves rolled up earlier to clean dishwares.

The both of you gathered your belongings, ready to fare out the storm brewing as he insisted he walk you home. He pointed out the colors of the dull night, bringing it to life in the now drenched city estate. You turned back to look at your closed down bar, and the flowers of your patio that much needed the rain thundering down from the sky.

And you found yourself more alive than you'd ever felt, standing in the rain, looking upon the result of your life's works in peace and harmony.

The landscape now bloomed in vibrants and pastels in your wake, no longer dull and forgotten. Your world flooded with a new sense of colored hues as you gazed upon your flowers, in a deeper sense of detail than before; and you found that raven colored black he brought about earlier in the week was not the absence of all the colors you had previously thought it was, but rather kin to the mix of the many hues littered about in the bottom of the raven artist's bag and across his canvases.

---

Please let me know what you think! I think this is by far one of my favorite pieces I have written. I wanted to add more, but I felt it would ruin where it leaves off, so maybe a part two will be due at some point if requested. I wrote this last night after a pretty scary time; my college campus had an active shooter and our whole campus was kind of shook for the better part of an hour (no one was injured!), but writing definitely helped to calm me down, so I am glad I made an entry for this! This is lightly edited as I don't have much time before class, so please excuse any mistakes!

[king-paimon]

Houseki no Kuni Chapter 106 Thoughts: Bon Voyage...

Hello all. I hope these last few months have been kind to you in some way. These months have been... a lot. Some very good things happened, and some very bad. I wish we lived in a world were tragedies were just fiction, but that sadly isn't the case. I won't elaborate, but I promise, I'm okay. I just hope 2024 improves, though I know for many others, just hoping isn't enough.

I'm sorry for this late post. Once again, real life had me so distracted that I honestly forgot about Houseki no Kuni's chapter coming out this month. I only remembered when I saw activity around my older HnK posts.

Well, I finished reading the chapter and it was very beautiful and sad in different ways. I'll share more of my thoughts, though I don't think it'll be as long or detailed as my previous ones to be honest... Though I could be wrong! We'll see how it fairs. And who knows? Maybe I'll make another post to dissect this chapter further. But for now, I'll just write whatever comes to mind and try to make it as coherent as possible. I hope you like it. And as always, please feel free to share your own thoughts!

Here we go!

Thunderous Spectacle: The Final Journey

Once again, Ms. Haruko Ichikawa decided to flex her art skills by making beautiful, bombastic illustrations that encapsulates the chaos that is happening on Earth. And the ship departing looks straight out of a sci-fi movie; my mind went to Star Trek when I first saw those pages. Maybe Dune would be more appropriate; I actually don't know, I haven't read or watched Dune, though I hear it's very good.

I wish I had more to say about the visuals for this chapter, but I think they speak for themselves. I will say though...It's moments like this when I marvel... this was originally about a silly gem child trying to find their place in the world. And this is how their journey is finally coming to an end. Almost nothing is recognizable. This certainly was not how I thought this story, or specifically Phos' story, was going to unfold. I wonder if this was Haruko Ichikawa's plan from the beginning? Who can say...

Speaking of plans... Let's talk about Phos's and Eyeball's conversation.

Manipulation or Consideration: Humanity's Parting "Gift"

That was an interesting conversation Eyeball and Phos had when they were finishing up putting the little pebbles onto the ship. I think I remember stating in the last post how I thought it was odd that the Lunarians had this ship prepared for Phos. I'm glad this was somewhat addressed, but the conversation reveals that there was more behind this literal Deus ex Machina ship.

(I will never stop calling it that)

So if I'm understanding Eyeball's logic, Adamant and the Lunarians were considering Phos in the end? That after Phos fulfilled their last duties to the remnants of humanity that they'd be given the chance to leave the planet with whatever species came about before the planet died- Oh. Wait.

Wait.

Was this the thing that Adamant and Aechmea were alluding to back in chapter 96???

Oh my goodness, I think it was.

As I was typing this and going over some of the saved pages I had from the previous chapters, I saw the one with Euclase and I suddenly remembered their weird conversation with Adamant and Aechmea. I also remembered wondering what the heck they meant in the later chapters since their plan for Phos seemed to only be self serving.

HUH.

( Please let me know if I'm way off! For all I know, I could be making stuff up, but oh my goodness, when I made that connection AAaahh)

This was not how this portion was originally going to go, but there you go. I was going to talk about how twisted but not surprising how calculated everything was from the the Lunarians and the other ruminants of humanity's end. And I was also going to mention how the Doctor also fit into this since she was also calculated and manipulative in her own ways. Despite the different forms it takes, humanity didn't seem to change much in this world...

I was also going to originally say that the Deus ex machina ship feels like a backhanded "gift" for Phos, especially after everything that happened to them. And though I still feel that way, after thinking back to chapter 96, I'm now starting to see Phos's perspective of this gift. That despite everything that they put them through, Phos's former families still left this parting gift for them so they could live on elsewhere after they are long gone and when Phos was free from their duties. It's still a backhanded gift in my opinion, but it showed that they cared... at least a bit.

And the fact that their plan also included Eyeball is just wow. I do not blame his small, comedic outburst for that realization. He was manipulated too from the getgo!

At least in the end, Phos chose not to go into the ship. Phos intended to burn that bridge. Even though this thought was implanted by Sensei, Adamant, and the Lunarians, Phos still made that choice on their own and they are owning it. It's bittersweet, though, because regardless of whether or not they stayed or went, Phos's decisions were still a result of them being manipulated one way or another. Pretty much a lose-lose kind of situation, but at least the choice that Phos chose in the end still aligned with what they wanted in they end.

They are giving Eyeball and the little pebbles a chance for a fresh start while Phos can finally end the cycle... By taking humanity and himself to bitter end...

Or does he?

Goodnight, Phosphophyllite

The final farewell between Phos and Eyeball was touching. In a last minute decision to give Phos closure and in an act of true salvation, Eyeball took the last piece of Phos with him. The true remaining piece of Phosphophyllite. To me, this action felt more earnest and heartwarming than the Deus Ex Machina Ship (but that's just me).

What will happen with that piece of Phosphophyllite? Who knows? Maybe that piece will gain sentience and live a peaceful life with the pebbles? A life free of all the constraints as well as the freedoms that was intentionally and unintentionally reinforced within societies created by the former remnants of humanity? I suppose we'll have to wait and see.

As for the Phos that was left behind? The Phos that we've watch evolve from the beginning to end? They will finally rest.

They will finally, and truly be free.

(Albeit in a seemingly not so pleasant way?? Well, they weren't complaining so maybe the lava and other harsh elements isn't hurting them. I hope that's the case.)

I had the feeling that this chapter will be the last time we see Phos, or at least this version of Phos, and it would be a sad but proper send off.

But after seeing THIS at the end, I'm not so sure:

Of course Haruko Ichikawa decides to be cheeky with that little note. Ma'am. Why did you say this???

Is this her roundabout way of saying that Phos is kind of back to square 1? Of being the lonely, jobless Phos who no longer has a purpose and is left with nothing to do but "think." That's pretty funny/messed up joke if that's what she's hinting at.

But again, we'll have to wait and see.

WELP. That's all I have for you all. I hope you enjoyed my ramblings and I'd love to hear what you thought about this chapter. We're nearly at the end of this saga. We're are almost there...

Please be worth it.

[mysticsparklewings]

Karla Choupette, but make her Winx!

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It’s been so long since I posted art, I kinda forgot how to caption it 😅

So I’ll stick with facts: Exactly 1 year ago today, I brought home my very first Rainbow High doll, Karla Choupette. Shortly after, I wanted to draw her, and since I was on a roll with Winx-Club-Style art at the time, this is the result! 🤍

⭐️ Like My Art and Want to see more of it? Here's All My Links! ⭐️

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This won't be much of surprise to Sparklers that read my most recent Museletter, but to those that didn't: Hi! Longtime no art; How've you been? 👋 😅 If you're curious about how & where I've been, I'm going to direct you to that Museletter for the full details.

Also as you'll see in the Museletter, I had actually started on and mostly finished this piece right before my accidental half-year hiatus actually began (in December). There are many reasons (discussed at length in the Museletter) as to why I've held onto this piece for so long, but chief among them are 1. A lack of motivation to type this description and 2. Even months later, I was still not 100% sure about the background I originally picked out.

We'll talk more about the background in a bit. Firstly, especially for those that didn't read the Museletter, I should probably tell you who/what exactly this is and why you're staring at it. 😆

This lady, dear Sparklers, is one Karla Choupette of Shadow High, which is a...sub-line? I guess is the best way to put it? of the Rainbow High doll line. Except, per my usual art shenanigans, she's been drawn in the Winx Club art style. 😅

Karla is also known as: The Doll that Broke My (also unintentional) 5-6 year Doll Buying Hiatus. And in fact, that was the final key to me dusting off my typing fingers to finally bring this art to you Sparklers today.

I'll try and keep this story brief, but...Well, loyal Sparklers know how me and "brief" usually go, so I'll just apologize in advance for how very not-brief this actually will be...

In a way, this story starts in 2016 with the second generation of Monster High.

The first generation of Monster High was, pretty indisputably, my "true doll love" even though until it's beginning in 2010 I'd been raised on mostly Barbie and some Bratz. But the second generation was almost completely canned by the fan base, including me.

By 2018, most Monster High merchandise had disappeared from stores entirely. It all happened so fast for a franchise that had been such a lightning-in-a-bottle success before; It was depressing. (It's still depressing, to be completely honest, even with G3 now alive and well.)

And after that, for years the was really nothing for me in the doll space. With Monster High and Ever After High gone, Barbie's quality having taken a nosedive, Bratz's presence be wildly inconsistent...Whatever options were left either didn't appeal to me personally or didn't stick around long enough for that to matter.

So for the next few years, my attention in the toy aisle was pretty squarely on Shopkins, Num Noms, and the occassional other surprise toys that tempted me enough to try at least once. 🤷‍♀️

In 2020 (so I've been told by the internet—I couldn't have remembered the date if my life depended on it because that's how little attention I was paying to them at the time), Rainbow High dolls started appearing in store. And I do believe I remember seeing them in-store, possibly even an enclosed display. And I remember really not liking them at the time!

And I didn't like what I saw of Rainbow High for a considerably amount of time after that. But somehow, someway, I did very slowly start to come around to them. I think the biggest factor was when I started to understand that despite what sounded like a cutesy name to me, Rainbow High was not effectively a line of CareBears dressed as teenage girls.

Though, at this stage, when I say "come around to," I really mean I stopped viewing the line with active disdain. It would take a while longer of random images popping up on my Instagram and Pinterest feeds (mostly Instagram) before I started to think, "Oh well maybe I'd buy one if xyz..."

But I don't think it was too much longer after the "if xyz" phase that I was browsing around on Pinterest

And there, that was the moment—*Gasp*, Who is she? She looks like Ivy if Ivy were pink! She's so pretty!!

Karla Choupette had appeared.

And for the record, yes—I did and still do think Karla looks a lot like what I envision for my Winx OC Ivy aside from the pink coloring. So if in the future you see me draw Ivy and her outfit looks suspiciously familiar, now you'll know why!

But, to be fair, that's not the only thing about Karla's design that appeals to me. The stark contrast of colors is one for sure, as well as the slight contrast of the punk-ish boots with the more formal/business-like dress/top situation. And after I did (spoiler alert) bring Karla home, I realized she bears some resemblance to one of my favorite Monster High dolls of all-time, Zomby Gaga, so there was almost definitely some subconscious influence coming from that.

Anyway. It was a little bit of a slow burn, but eventually the desire to actually get a Karla doll was rattling around in my head so loudly it was was very nearly literally keeping me up at night.

I completely lucked out in the timeline that Karla had already been out for a while at that point and last year's Amazon Prime Day wasn't too far around the corner. Sure, I could have just bought her at any time, but considering I'd been out of the doll-buying game a while and my "first doll back" was going to be one completely unlike the rest of my collection [..and I use that term kind of loosely here], so I didn't want to put too much money on the line when it was fully possible I'd get her home and unboxed and decide I didn't actually like her all that much.

The funny thing is, the story could've even there. Or at least taken a significant detour. Because, sure enough, Amazon did mark Karla down for Prime Day at the time, but before I could go through with the purchase, she sold out. 🙃

On a whim though, I decided to check Walmart a little later in the day, and lo and behold—Apparently they really wanted to compete with Amazon for sales that week, so they'd dropped their price on Karla to match and actually still had her in stock!

I ordered her for local pickup to avoiding paying for shipping, and the next day—Exactly one year ago today!—Karla came home with me. [And you can see a picture of my exact Karla in that Museletter I mentioned before, for those curious!]

It would be another couple of days before I actually opened her; Both in the store when we picked her up and while I was opening her, I was honestly a little scared that physically being able to hold her would somehow break whatever magic hold this doll had had over me up until either point.

But as you can probably guess by the way I'm telling this story and the fact that this art exists—Nope! And even a year and 20 (...soon to be 21...) more Rainbow/Shadow High dolls later, Karla is still my favorite. She is, in fact, the only one I currently have 2 of, as I found an incomplete-but-in-great-shape Karla for cheap on eBay about a month later.

To be fair, I should back up a bit and clarify: If you're familiar with the doll space, you may be wondering why/how Karla was the buying-hiatus-breaker for me even though Monster High G3 started releasing new dolls in 2022.

Technically I suppose she wasn't because I did get some of the MH G3 dolls and Howliday Draculaura for Christmas 2022, but for space/storage related reasons, it would be much longer before I actually opened any of my new MH dolls, and there were various aspects that made G3 still feel kind of rocky and uncertain at the time.

Karla was the one that really sparked my excitement for dolls in general again, though the excitement manifested as a rolling snowball instead of a roaring fire—I started out, as many doll fans across all brands have, insisting Karla would be the "only" Rainbow High doll I wanted/needed.

And if you'll remember I quoted a collection of 20 Rainbow High dolls a few paragraphs ago, then you'll already know exactly how that well-intended insistence turned out. 😆 [And this isn't even touching on the fact that, as also mentioned in the Museletter, that Karla and the Rainbow High girls also ignited a "make things for the dolls from scratch" spark in me that I have felt in...Mm, probably not since the earliest days of Monster High, sometime before 2013.]

Some of you are also now probably doing the math on how we arrived at the concept for this artwork—This is very much not the first (or even second or third) time that I've used the Winx Club art style as a vessel to express my love for some other thing.

It's been a while since the idea began by now, but I remember I had inklings of wanting to draw Karla for a while—I think in particular I wanted to play with Karla's white eyelashes in illustrated form since it's both something I've never seen on a doll before and also white eyelashes in general are just a unique and interesting concept to me—And since I was sorta on a roll with the Winx Club stuff/style, it wasn't too long or too far of a leap in logic to decide this is the way it would be done.

Likewise, if you've seen any of my most-recent Winx art, you'll already be fairly familiar with my process for how the art comes together in the most literal senses. So because of that and because it has been long enough that I don't remember finer details like areas that were particularly tricky so well, I'm going to skip over a lot of that here.

However, I do remember and can tell you a few things that make Karla here a little different from some of those other attempts of mine, so I will now start rambling about that in whatever order things come to mind.

Firstly and possibly the most obvious, Karla you could say Karla's wasn't "Winx-fied" as intensely as Helena or The Nanny, which was a very purposeful choice. I love Karla's original design so much that I really didn't want to touch it too much, and so while a fairy form like those other two artworks can often be more fun, I opted to keep Karla "casual."

To that end, I followed what patterns and "rules" I've observed for the Winx's Season 2-3 "casual outfits" as best I could without making any serious alterations. [The linked screenshot isn't the best example of said patterns/rules—You kinda have to take in multiple screenshots to get the best feel for that—but it's a decent enough point of reference for which outfits I'm talking about.]

So the main thing you'll notice are the things I took away or simplified because I think thy pushed Winx Club's style "limits" a bit too far—Karla has her fan but it's missing the word "Shadow" across the front, the zippers on her shoes aren't well-defined, the charm/pin from her tie is missing, you can't see the pinstripes on her dress (though if this were meant to be the Seasons 2-3 promo art style and not true-to-show style, I would've left those in)...things like that.

I did make small exceptions for things I felt would take away too much if I left them out like the details on her belt, the buckles on her boots, giving her eyeshadow, etc. But I tried to balance it all out. The belt is probably still pushing it, but I genuinely wasn't sure how else to handle it and I think everything else worked out well enough.

Now, I did make the decision to approach the line work more so how Season 4 would do it—There are more colored lines here than is really typical for Season 3, especially when you count Karla's hair. This was mostly done to try and preserve some of Karla's own "feel" when you look at her, but also a little for contrast of the different elements/textures at play. [For example, I thought lining her hair in black would look too harsh.]

...I should also probably mention that while I still stand by Karla looking a lot like what I want for Ivy, I really was focused on trying to capture Karla as herself here—I can't say Ivy never entered my mind during the drawing process because that's kind of impossible given that she lives and dies entirely in my imagination, but I did not consciously at any point use Ivy as reason or justification for any changes made to Karla's design.

Oh, and if this pose feels a little familiar, much like with Fran, I opted to re-use a pose I'd already been working with around the time I started this project. It's hard to tell from my sketches in the linked image, but in this case I did decide to re-draw the arms to nearly the opposite position because it made figuring out what to do with her fan so much easier.

Ironically, this pose is not at all the best way to get a good look at her white eyelashes, but I worked with what I had to make something nice without it taking 2-3 (or more) times as long, so I'm not actually too upset about that.

You could say that's sorta what happened with the background—I can't say this is my most favorite background I've ever put together, but I really did not have any better ideas, so...🤷‍♀️

Maybe it's obvious, maybe it's not, but I decided to try combining a design formula that's been used in a lot of the Rainbow High boxes as a background (and sometimes in other promotional material) with some general ideas from promotional images/profiles you may have seen of the Winx before.

So if you thought you were seeing Alfea castle edited into a rainbow gradient back there, you would be absolutely right. 😉

This is also why Karla's name is just kinda randomly hanging out over there on a "true to show style"—It's a little more consistent with the Winx profiles/images and added a little extra something I felt was missing from the full package.

And while not my primary motivation, I did kind of like the idea that with a background situation like this, if I decide I ever want to draw more Winxify-ed Rainbow High girls, I can re-use it and have them all a little more visually united as a series.

I have no current plans to do that, but I like being able to leave the door open for it, y'know?

...I think those are all the main things I wanted to mention. This is the real trouble with not writing these descriptions as soon as I'm able—I forget too much! But there's not much to be done about it now, so oh well I guess.

In such case, the important thing really is that I'm still happy with how the art turned out. Or at least Karla and some of the other details. Even at this very moment I still have my quibbles and doubts with the image of Alfea hanging out back there, but at this point I really don't want to put off uploading this any longer solely because of that, of all things.

Since I did find it in me to scramble what was left of this description together though, coupled with things I mentioned in that last Museletter, I really hope this means I've finally turned some kind of internal corner and and that it won't be another block of months before you Sparklers see more art from me.

At the very least, I can now say I've tried this new submission portal from dA and...It's not my beloved Sta.sh, but...eh, it's okay I guess. I still miss my editing/formatting tools being more available like in a proper text editor, but in some ways I do think I like this better than the previous submission portal, if I'm going to be forced to type out my descriptions in here from now on.

I think at least knowing that—that I'm marginally more familiar with this new portal now—will be a step in the right direction.

One last thing before I leave you Sparklers for today—I plan to give this description a once-over before I submit, but I've written most of it late at night after a busy shopping day and may or may not have caught myself almost dozing off a couple of times, so on top of my faulty memory, if you notice any exceptionally weird mistakes, that's probably where those came from and I missed them on my second read-through. 😅

In any case, Sparklers, I thank you for still being here and being patient with me—Like I said before, I sincerely hope this is just the beginning of me finally being "back," at least for a while, but ultimately only time will tell if it is or not.

But if it is, then I expect to see you all again much sooner rather than later...😉

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Artwork © me, MysticSparkleWings

Karla Choupette/Rainbow High © MgA Entertainment

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⭐️ Like My Art and Want to see more of it? Here's All My Links! ⭐️

[niseag-reads]

Ouch my brain /pos - a ramble

Right. I want to say something sensible about this book, but I have been reading it since January, and I would be damned if I remembered what happened in the first half of it in any detail. This is a ramble/review for "Forges of Mars." the full trilogy. by Graham McNeill

Taking so long to read it was not the books fault. Indeed, that was me running into burnout and being preoccupied with university stuff. But being somewhat less than fully emerged in this book probably didn't help the book at all.

There are so many characters, holy shit. And some of their names are so similar! Hawke and Hawkins come to mind. Additionally, characters will be named by their first name, last name, or nicknames and keeping apart who is who is no joke. The dramatis personae provided is somewhat useful, but annoying when you have to refer to it too often. this does come with the caviat that I do, as a rule, not really remember names (I think it's the autism) making this all the more difficult to me. Where characters are diverse enough in their thinking and acting i will be able to tell them apart by that, but for side and background characters that really doesnt work.

With this, there are also multiple storylines, and my issue with that in many books is that there is always some I prefer over the others and then I get annoyed when they switch to the ones I do not care for as much. Also because I often didn't immediately know where we were jumping to. it really grated my gears that when a POV switch happened it wasn't always immediately clear whose POV the book had switched to, causing moments of confusion. Perhaps if i remembered which names belonged to what people it would be easier, but sadly it was not. for fairness, I was reading the ebook. Maybe this is clearer in the paper version.

In this trilogy, I found myself intrigued by the characterisation of the mechanicus characters whom I wanted to stick with, only to be forced to read about these other groups as well... if I wanted to read space marines, I'd have picked up one of their books, you know? Regardless, the arcs of kotov, linya, and tychon were all very interesting to me, and eventually, around the second book, I started to appreciate locke as well. The way the warhounds were written actively annoyed me, but I am someone who has read a lot of books involving (were)wolves, and my expectations from that may have influenced how I looked upon these chapters. the many POVs in this book felt somewhat unnessecary, too, like, I am unsure what the marines or the warhound POVs truly added to the storytelling. I get why there was both mechanicus and bondsman perspective though, that was a very interesting and clever choice in worldbuilding that allowed the reader to see the two ends of the coin when it comes to the runnings of a mechanicus expedition. the eldar perspective was not one I cared for much, but I do not fault the book for including it because it did definitely add a completely different angle to everything going on in this book.

The last book in the series is significantly more intense and action-packed than the other two, which I had not expected. It solidifies the feeling of a finale, I suppose, especially since the other two books lacked proper ending points. I thus believe that this was written as one very long book that was chopped into threes for marketability. That's not a negative, just an observation. the final confrontation is a-tier. very good, very satisfying. Galatea deserved worse. All in all, this was a decent enough experience and I can see why some people go wild for the characters in this book, they're very good. I left this review sitting in my drafts for so long I forgot where I was going with it. anyways. 3.5 stars. do recommend, but is very long and requires brain.

[zorlovinghue]

Grab the Regressor by the Collar and Debut!

Idol novel recommendation for those who read [The Malicious Member is Back!] and is waiting for new chapter. Another humane and emotional MC right here. Prolly the same kid that I keep mixing up with Chunyong because they're just as depressed.

As the title stated, MC is not the one who's regressing. The system here is.... Hmmm.... Right, it's like X in a sense of liveliness. But more.... I'm not sure if I can describe it in any way other than that it's gullible... the interaction was somewhat silly and funny. It's not a single system for this story, meaning the system's operator is not just one so the role of system itself is significant for the plot.

MC's name is Kang Hajin. This dude got some serious problem enough for the system to give him Mental Care mode. If he's half-mad at the beginning, he's almost crazed midway— but it's understandable.

Anyway it's been so long since I last read.... It has 200+ chapter now, and I'm rereading the whole thing cuz I forgot the details. Also take this with a grain of salt, my memories is jumbled up from how many novels I'm keeping up at the same time.

[starrywangxian]

hello i am here to remind you that lan wangji did not wait for wei wuxian for 13/16 years because wei wuxian died. (now with edits!)

people don't come back from death! what happened to wei wuxian was the first time it had ever happened and probably the only time i would happen (at least in a long time) because the riutal can only be done under certain conditions, i.e. someone has to be willing to sacrifice themself, you have to call a spirit that is vicious enough etc. and most importantly, lan wangji had no idea about any of it being a possibility! [edit: only four people had used to ritual before mo xuanyu - so my point still stands i just forgot that detail - source: "only three or four examples [of using the sacrificial ritual] have been proven to be true" novel chapter 2]

lan wangji did not wait because waiting implies that he knew wei wuxian would come back, which he didn't because he died. he spent those 13/16 years mouring and taking care of lan sizhui, the only connection he still has with wei wuxian. he spent those years preparing to spend the rest of his life in mourning and wearing white mourning robes!

he played inquiry [edit: lan wangji does this in the donghua, consider that canon or fanon] to try to talk to wei wuxian but lan wangji's cultivation and skill with the qin language is so powerful that spirits he calls must answer him truthfully! so when he'd call for wei wuxian and get no answer: that was his proof that he had died. then he would ask other spirits if they knew what happened to wei wuxian, where he was, how he was etc. none of them knew anything about wei wuxian. [edit: spirits cannot lie to lwj when he uses inquiry (as seen in chapter 22: "Under his [lwj's] control, the spirit who came was unable to lie, and had definitely been answering the truth.") and lsz reveals that some people have the power to ensure spirits must answer in chapter 37: "the spirit that i summon will be able to avoid answering, but will not be able to lie. so, if it is willing to answer, then it will definitely speak the truth." this doesn't exactly mean that lwj has this skill but when speaking with jin ling, it says that lwj has mastered qin language in chapter 22: "As he mastered the language, without any hesitation, Lan WangJi confidently played a few limpid notes."]

because wei wuxian hasn't born to a sect, he didn't go through the rituals to make sure his spirit would reincarnate so when he died he turned into a spirit but because even his spirit was torn apart by ghosts and demons he was unable to do anything. [edit: i worded this weirdly - i was trying to say that the ritual prevented people from becoming ghosts and that wwx didn't have this ritual because he was the son of a servant and wasn't raised in a sect. this is mentioned in chapter 60: "disciples of famous clans, like Jiang FengMian and Yu ZiYuan, had been affected by their clan and their clan’s treasures since they were young. When they grew up, they’d receive countless soul-calming ceremonies so that there was only a miniscule chance of them becoming ferocious ghosts. But Wei WuXian was different. He was the son of a servant. He didn’t grow up in the Jiang Sect since birth, either. He didn’t have the chance to go through so many ceremonies. If after he really died with too much resentful energy and became a ferocious ghost to haunt them, it’d be quite a pain."] he spent those 13/16 years being fully unconscious and aware of what was happening but not having the power to do anything about it. he was in literal hell for 13/16 years! [edit: this you'll have to bare with me because i read it in a tweet and can no longer find it ;-; basically it stated what i said] so no spirits knew what happened to him and he couldn't answer to lan wangji's inquiry!

in conclusion, lan wangji did not wait!! [edit: it's still wrong to say that lwj waited for wwx even if i got stuff wrong lmao]

[nine-blessed-hero]

Greetings After a Long Departure

Universe: TESIV: Oblivion Warnings: None Words: 1014 Context: A gameplay event I remembered, and wanted to write out - see below fic for details Taglist (ask +/-): @writeblrsupport @jacquesfindswritingandadvice

It's been a few years since… Everything. Maybe many. Time has passed and Rowan has stopped counting.

Time enough that when xe teaches the rookies how to shoot, xir shoulder and elbow joints pop. Time enough that xe has become a Master of Alchemy; that xe is expanding xir repertoire and learning how to move in heavy armour.

There is always more to learn, xe tells the apprentice Mages. You never stop honing your skills, xe tells the Fighters Guild hot-shots. There's always someone who can teach you fresh ideas, recent papers to study, some new knack to discover.

Rowan – leading by example – is in the Imperial City proper for the first time in… oh, probably a year? Time enough to notice that the fresh white stone of the Market District, replaced after Everything, is now dull and grey; that the joyful colours splashed around the Arena in his honour are faded and chipped; that the Arboretum is not as deftly pruned as it once was. But xe is not here to critique the architecture. Xe has heard word and whisper of someone even better at the art of stealth than xe and is hoping they are willing to teach xir.

It is to xir horror then, that Armand tells xir xe is looking for the Imperial Spymaster, Marana Rian, found in the Temple District. Rowan who takes the most circuitous route to the Waterfront; Rowan who has not set foot in the Temple District since Everything was over; Rowan who makes airs of not recalling what happened That Night when asked, but will not deign to look in that direction should xe catch sight of a marble toothed maw over the walls.

But perhaps it has been time enough. Time enough for a heart to heal. Time enough xe can think about That Night without frailty overtaking xir limbs. Time enough that xe went back to see him.

Xir foot rings off the cobbles of the Temple District. It's impossible not to see him, life-like twisted marble. Xir heart lurches. A guard looks curiously at xir, as a palid hand gropes for the wall. Xe flashes a sickly smile. Xe almost turns, running back to the safety of hearth and home. But no – it has been time enough. Xe straightens xir tunic and goes forth.

Xe's greeted, as xe enters the Temple, by a fresh-faced novice. No lines of care on their scaled face, only nubs of burgeoning horns ridging their brow. When the novice asks xir business, xe gestures to the statue, feet tucked in with garlands and offerings. The novice clearly doesn't recognise xir, taking xir to be some distant pilgrim, as they jabber about That Night while leading xir towards the statue.

He is bigger than xe remembers. With his wings held aloft and head thrown back, he takes up most of the space in the not-small temple. So tall, once they stop at the edge of the field of offerings, xe barely comes up to his knee. Rowan feels lost, for a moment, craning xir head back as if it were possible, this close, to see all of him; and wonders how xe forgot he was the size of a building.

Xe can touch it if xe wants, the novice says. It's just a statue. Tests were done; it's perfectly safe. From here they can see the shimmer on one claw, worn smooth and shiny by many hands and many prayers. He isn't there. That's what they'd told xir after the tests were concluded. Still – the need to give some recognition to the man transformed gnaws in xir breast.

The novice natters on as Rowan picks a way through the flowers and offerings, but xe doesn't hear, recalling only that last conversation; the way he made it sound as if he were taking a trip – not too far, not too long. Finds xe knows just what to do.

Rowan takes a breath. Smiles. "Hello, you." Reaches out as if to cup his cheek. "Read any good books lately?" Xir fingers skim the statue. A soft and golden sunlight finds xir. Xe feels warm and full; content as if after a hearty meal in the company of loved ones. In xir mind, a noise like the bones of the world sliding past each other; words, perhaps, but they're so slow and bass xe doesn't understand – can only let them resonate through xir being.

Slowly the incandescence fades; the sense of a lingering hug, reluctantly parted from. Xe's left feeling comforted; the grind of everyday lifted and lightened. As if things will start going better for xir, and everyone is a potential new friend.

When Rowan turns, xe finds a small crowd gathered behind xir. The novice is gaping. Several people are in prayerful stances. Xe can hear the word 'miracle' being uttered. "What-? But the- It's never-," the novice stutters, their eyes flaring wide. "Who are you?" Before Rowan can speak, the crowd speaks for xir, calling out xir titles: Fighters Guildmaster, Archmage, Champion– "The Hero of Kvatch!"

Well, shit.

Rowan smiles, picks xir way back through the collection of offerings. "I apologise for having interrupted your afternoon," xe says. "But… the Statue-" Rowan raises xir voice, knowing that the crowd will just make up some half-truth otherwise. "They told me, 'he's gone'. They told me it was just a statue, and the man I watched transform into our saviour was no longer on Mundus. I guess they weren't quite correct." Xe swallows to stop xir voice from cracking and glances back at the statue. "He's still here, in his own way. He's always been here, patient as ever, awaiting my return." Xe turns fully now, damp eyes cast aloft. "I'm sorry, Martin. Time and again, you've waited for me; it's been time enough. I promise I won't be so long again."

Warmth stirs again, a lingering caress, drawing a sweet smile from xir. Rowan presses a small bag of coins into the novice's hand – "To keep up the Temple's good works." – and leaves the congregation to its awed colloquy.

–––

So: I'd somehow missed all the spoilers about the Blessings of Akatosh from the Avatar statue, and when I went to find Marana Rian, many gameplay hours after completing the MQ, I got a sudden rush of nostalgia and went to look at the statue (I, like Rowan, maaay have been avoiding the area a bit. Y'know - MQ was ended, I had no real reason to go back there). Noticing the 'activate' fist, I did so and was pleasantly surprised by the Blessings. I later read a headcanon that this is a gift from Martin, an apology/ "love letter", only given to the Hero and unavailable to anyone else in Cyrodiil, which I really liked the sound of - hence why I've made it clear that to everyone else, it is just a statue; it's not until Rowan returns, that xe learns the truth.

[youwishyouwasme1234]

The Assassin and The Monster.

Author's note: Okay so this isn't canon. This is really long. if you have any questions then just ask. If anyone wants a continuation of this, then just ask. Enjoy the read!

Chapter One: You Are Expendable.

Bella is expendable…

                Like many others, Bella was a criminal given a seemingly hopeful second chance. However, that was only the silver lining said to those sent down to Hadal Blacksite. She was taken from her holding cell after spending 93 days out of her life sentence in prison. Now she’s on a submarine heading down to Hadal Blacksite. She had been lucky enough to be able to bring one thing with her. That one thing was an unsuspecting foot long, black metal pole.

                I wake up after my god knows how long submarine ride. The doors open and I am met with what appears to be a drop off zone. Great. I get off the submarine and as it disappears beneath the waves, a voice is heard over the intercom. “As discussed in your briefing, your primary objective is secure and bring back the crystal. Your secondary objective is to secure as many loose assets as possible.

“Loose assets, huh?” I say to myself as I begin to look around.

The PDG on my back is heavy and uncomfortable on my petite body but I have gotten used to it on the submarine ride here. I open drawers, small lockers, and desks. Eventually I found a keycard and flash beacon on a desk behind some crates. Bingo!

Through the first door and nothing seems out of the ordinary. I tie my long, wavy black hair back into a ponytail to get it out of my face. I make it to room ten before the lights flicker. I thought nothing of it and by then it was too late. I see some kind of creature barreling towards me. Was it a creature? A thing? It certainly looks terrifying if not anything else.

Chapter 2: Death.

I wake up in a pitch-black room in front of a table. “Hello?”

Suddenly, a mysterious voice rang out. "Oh. Hello. You died. Whaaat a shame. We haven't met before, but hopefully you'll be able to stay alive long enough next time for me to give a proper introduction. Since those iiidiots up there didn't feel like telling you about which exact dangers you'd face down here, I've been asked to fill that role. Whenever you die, you'll be brought here, and I'll show you a document detailing what caused your oh so early demise. He was very specific about... how much information I could share with you though. It's stupid, I know, his orders, not mine. All the documents are heavily classified, lots of black lines, [REDACTED] text, whole nine yards. The more times you die to something, the more black lines he lets me remove. Alright. Let me find what caused you... Ahhh. Here we go."

His voice sounds familiar but unfamiliar at the at the same time. This mysterious man in front down a file in front of me about the entity known Angler. Even after all this time, I had not bothered to look up and notice the three eyes that belonged to this man either.

“That one seemed to be in a rush. Should have gotten out of its way.” The man says before everything goes black.

Chapter 3: Let’s Try That Again.

                I wake up on the floor in the room where the submarine docks. “Dammit. I forgot to introduce myself to him or ask his name. At least he seems friendly.” I grumble to myself as I get up off the floor.

“Let’s try that again, shall we?” I picked the key card up off the table. I make my way through the next thirteen doors, picking up a flashlight and lots of ‘loose assets’ along the way.

The lights flicker as I open door fourteen. I immediately dived into a locker. It was not the closest one because my instincts told me something was amiss with the nearest one. I make it into the locker just in time as an Angler comes screaming by. Once everything went still and quiet, I poked my head out to look around.

“That was close. Too close if you ask me.” I look around the now darkened room. With a heavy sigh, I feel around for the door. Once I find it, I enter room 14.

It looks like any other room but there’s a weird green structure in the middle of the room. It kind of looks like a person but it looked very abstract. “That’s weird. At least it’s not moving and attacking me.” I remark dryly.

Chapter 4: The Shark.

I spent the next few hours making my way through the rooms and eventually I made my way to room 23. Nothing seems wrong or off, however, there are many windows on one side of the room that peer off into the dark ocean water. About halfway through the room a weird looking shark swam by. Its black in color and is covered in hundreds of green eyes. Upon looking at it, I get an intense headache.

“Dammit… what the fuck is that?” I collapsed to my knees. I look at the ground and cover my face. Upon covering my face, the headache stops.

The creature, whatever it is, speaks, “All your friends, your family, loved ones, you’ll get to see them again if you look into my eyes.”

“Like hell I will, asshole!” I managed to stand up, albeit shakily, and head towards room 24. I manage to make it inside but before I can relax, I notice the lights flicker.

“Fuck.” I managed to get into a room off to the side. I shut the door and knock a locker down in front of it so nothing can get inside. The Angler goes by, and I sigh in relief.

Chapter 5: Much Needed Rest.

For some reason, even though the Angler when by, the lights in the room stayed on. “It seems I’m in an office of sorts.” I moved away from the door and over to the office chair. I settle down in a chair and prop my feet up. I look at my scuffed up black knee-high boots and my ruffled up black uniform.

“I look terrible. So much water around me but none of its clean enough to bathe in. Just my luck.” I pull out what looks like a harmless black metal tube. The one thing that Urbanshade had graciously let me keep and bring down here.

“If only they knew the things I could do.” I push a button on the side of the nondescript pipe and in the blink of an eye, it turns into a massive mechanical scythe. “As an assassin, I should not be down here doing a job like this. If only I hadn’t let myself get caught.”

I get up to heat up the packet of food I was given by Urbanshade in a nearby microwave. To my delight, the microwave turns on and I’m able to heat up what looks like a TV dinner.

“I guess it’s better than nothing.” Once my food is warm, I take it back over to the desk. I sit down and dig in, not realizing how hungry I truly was until now.

After thinking about what the Eyefestation said about being reunited with my loved ones, I spent a good while in thought. I don’t have any family or friends. At least, not anymore. I was an orphan since I could remember, my parents and sister had died in a car crash. I’ve always been a small, quiet girl.

The only person that I could consider family was my husband, but… I immediately shut those thoughts down. I put my scythe away. I relax in the chair, letting myself fall asleep for the first time in days.

Chapter 6: Flashback.

                “Hey, Babe!” Said my husband excitedly. He was playing Subnautica on the couch while waiting for me to get home.

                “Hi, sweetheart!” I say back in a cheerful tone. I settled down next to my husband. My husband, a man with fair skin, blue eyes and beautiful curly black hair looked at me with a loving smile. “What’s for dinner?”

                “I’m making chili. It’s in the oven baking right now.” he says, flashing his signature charming smile. “Do you like my new piercing?” he asks, motioning towards his eyebrow.

                “I love it! It completes your metalhead get up.” I say giggling happily.

“How was your day? I know I’m not allowed to ask because you work for a super-secret assassin cult and stuff, but I want to know.” He said, hoping I’d answer.

“I had a good day. I wish I could tell you more, but I can’t. If I did then you might get hurt, or worse.” I respond back.

And got hurt my husband did. More than hurt. He was convicted of something he didn’t do. Something I did, and he paid the price for and that’s something he’ll probably never forgive me for. But that’s neither here, nor there.

Chapter 7: On The Road Again.

After that flashback and a good night of sleep, I decided to leave the office. I pushed the locker you placed in front of the door back to where it was. The hall was dark, and I had made the fatal mistake of turning a flashlight on. Something tall and black, resembling a squid lunged at me, knocking me to the ground. It scratched me up some before disappearing.

“Holy shit… What was that?” I pick myself up of the floor and dust my black dress off.

“That hurt. Maybe I should keep the light of so no more of… whatever those were attack me again.” I walk around, looking for the door. I eventually found a door out. I step into room 25. I make steady progress.

In room 27 I found a med kit sitting on the table. “How convenient.” I remark. I open the kit up and take out a few bandages. I wrap my arm up and I’m as good as new. “I suppose that will do for now.”

After a few rooms, the rooms change. They begin to look more like rooms with high tech. The floors are the only light in the room and there are long rows of machines that have blinking lights and a gentle hum.

“Oh boy, where am I now?” I sigh heavily but know I must continue forward to find my missing husband. I wonder about how he’s been pr if he’s even still alive. The guilt I feel is immense considering I’m the reason he was sent here to begin with. “Oh darling, how I miss you so.

I started humming the song “6up 5oh Cop-Out (Pro/Con)” by Will Wood and the Tapeworms. A song that seems rather fitting to me for Hadal Blacksite.

Chapter 8: The Armed Artist.

After walking through what looks like a series of breaker rooms. I enter room 38 and  come across a room presenting a new hazard. Turrets.

“Finally, something more my speed!” I laugh to myself. I run forward, easily taking out the turrets with my scythe.

Suddenly, I hear a voice say, “You're still alive! That's uh... That's good.”

“Excuse me?” I retort angrily. I enter a side room and find a… computer? I stare at the computer in disbelief that this old looking piece pf machinery had tried to kill me.

“Excuse me kind sir, why are you trying to kill me?”

"Ooooooouuuuhhh. A visitor! Don't get those often, especially recently. Before you start accusing me of whatever, I don't hate you. It's nothing personal, no idea who you are. It's... just Sebastian. You've seen the guy around before, haven't you? He said he would help me. He PROMISED he would get the two of us out of here. Our shared prison. So, he asked me to delay the retrieval of the Crystal for as long as possible. I'm sorry for any... inconvenience I might have caused in the process. I... don't want to go back to Roblux mining... It's soo... mind numbing I... can't bear it any longer... I just want to make art again... Sebastian will come back for me whenever he finds a way out. He just has to.”

My eyes widened upon hearing the name. “Sebastian… that’s a familiar name. Do you know where he is little robot?” I put my scythe away.

“I do but ill only tell you if you let me into the device in your pocket. I want to see more than just this room. I promise not to hurt you if you help me out.” Replies P.AI.nter.

“You’ll help me if I let you into my phone, huh? I guess I can do that for you. If your lying, I’ll kick your digital ass, understand?” I plug my phone into the computer.

P.AI.nter’s face appears on the screen. “Got it! Sebastin should be in a vent in room 50.”

“What else do you know about Sebastian?” I ask.

“Well, from what I’ve heard from some of the expendables, he has a little shop set up in a room connected to the hallway via a vent. Apparently, he sells things to help the expendables out like flashlights, med kits and other stuff.”

“Interesting.” I reply.

“Now if you excuse me, I’ve got the entire internet to surf. Bye!” Says P.AI.nter

Chapter 9: The Good People.

I enter room 42. I pick up all the data in the room when I realize I have a minor problem. There are two doors with the same number. “Something is wrong here. I feel like something might be hiding behind one of those doors.” With a shrug I walk up to one of the doors, ignoring the spark that comes off the door number tag.

“WAIT!!!” Shouts P.AI.nter from my phone in my pocket. “DO NOT open that door! One of the Good People is behind it.”

“A what? Start talking little robot.” I say, clearly unamused. “If this is your idea of a joke then you’re gravely mistaken.

“Listen. You can hear it breathing.” P.AI.nter says. I stand there quietly and there is, in fact, a breathing noise.

“Thank you, little robot.” I whisper to P.AI.nter

“My name is P.AI.nter. Your name is Isabella. Last name-”

“How do you know that?” I cut P.AI.nter off before he could finish speaking. I walk towards the correct door and enter room 43.

“I have access to the internet and even government files through your phone.” P.AI.nter replies.

“Oh, course you do…” I say with a heavy sigh. “Just don’t search up anything bad that will appear in my search history, okay?”

A little time passes as I walk. I eventually decided to strike up a conversation with P.AI.nter. “So how do you know about those things… the Good people?”

                “Well, I heard the guards and the occasional scientist talking about them when this place was full of people. I’ve also had control of the cameras for quite some time now. They don’t leave their room often and will attack people only if their disturbed.” P.AI.nter replies.

“I see. Thanks again for the warning.

Chapter 10: The Saboteur

I finally arrived at room 49. “Here we are P.AI.nter. You know, you’re not such a bad companion.”

“Thank you, Bella! You’re the second nicest human I met, aside from my creator.” P.AI.nter replies happily.

I open the door and enter room 50. I take a few steps forward into the dimly lit room. The vent cover on the side of the wall about six or seven feet in front of me pops off with extreme force. I stand there, frozen for a moment. I hear the voice from before when I died call out to me. "Hey, over here!"

I crawl through the vent and enter a small room. I look up at the corner and find a massive monster standing there. This creature has three blue eyes, three arms, blueish grey scaly skin, and a long fluke tail for a lower body. He’s wearing a white shirt, brown leather jacket and is covered in straps and bags that go down the length of his tail.

"Welcome, welcome! Don't be afraid, I’m not gonna hurt you, despite what you have seen, heard, and/or been told. My name is Sebastian, your only friend.”Sebastian says.

“Sebastian… That’s a nice name. That was my husband’s name before he was taken from me. How much for the med pack?

“200 research. But I’ll mark it at 100 just for you. You seem familiar to me and I’m not sure why.” Sebastain says, clearly lost in thought. “My memory of my life before Hadal Blacksite isn’t the best. I guess that’s what torture does to the mind.”

I threw some research on the table for you. I grab the med pack and start healing my wounds. “Thank you, Sebastian.”

“You’re welcome. The keycard on the table is for the next room. but before you go, what’s your name?” Sebastian asks.

“My name is Isabella.” I laugh to myself. My laughter devoid of mirth as I remember how my husband used to call me Bella.

                “What’s so funny?” Sebastian asked.

                “Sorry, I’m just remembering how my husband used to call me Bella. But that was before…” I trail off, remembering what had happened to my husband.

“Before what?” Sebastain asked, his ears twitching in curiosity.

Chapter 11: Memories.

                “I sigh heavily. It’s a long story. A story I don’t want to burden you with.” I sank down against the wall. I hug my knees close to my chest.

                “Please tell me. Maybe it will help me remember my past.” Sebastain asks quietly. “Even if it doesn’t help me, I always love a good story.”

                “Yes please! I love story time too!” says P.AI.nter who’s been from my phone for the last half hour. I pulled him out of my pocket and put him on the floor next to me.

                “Fine. I’ll tell you about my husband. His name was Sebastian. Sebastian Solace. He was an engineer, and he loved music. I was an assassin hired by a company to take out terrorists and shady organizations like Urbanshade. My career landed him in sever trouble. A relative of one of my victims had found out about my personal life. They took the only important thing away from me. They framed my husband for the murder of nine people. Something he didn’t do, something I did. The court found him guilty, and he was supposed to be sentenced to the electric chair, but Urbanshade whisked him away before he could be executed. I’m here to find him and bring him home.”

                “Daammmn. I’m sorry for your loss.” P.AI.nter said in a somber tone.

“Don’t say it like that! You make it sound like he’s dead and that’s the last thing I want!” I say back.

                “Sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.” Said P.AI.nter.

Sebastian remained quiet, lost in thought. Before I could react, Sebastain smacked me with his tail, instantly knocking me unconscious.

Chapter 12: Kidnapped.

                I wake up alone a few hours later in an unfamiliar room. I’m on bedding of some kind and it’s actually kind of comfy. I sat up, only to be met with a splitting headache. “Owwww” I hold my head in my hands when I hear a familiar voice. It’s P.AI.nter!

“Hey, are you alright over there? The Saboteur plugged me in over here. He told me to tell you not to leave. Not that you can because the Eyefestation is roaming around in the water outside.”

“What’s the Eyefestation?” I ask, rubbing my sore noggin.

“It’s a weird mutated black shark thing that’s covered in hundreds of green eyes. It kills expendables like yourself by frying their brains. It also will harass you and beg you to look at into its eyes.” P.AI.nter responds.

“So that’s what those are called.” I lay back down on the comfortable bedding, planning to take full advantage of it. “I ran into one of those a couple of days ago.” I grabbed P.AI.nter off the charger. “So, what’s it like inside my phone?”

“It’s much better than what I was in previously, that’s for sure. I like playing the games on here and surfing the web.” P.AI.nter replies joyfully.

"I’m glad I could provide you a new sanctuary, even if just temporarily.” I say, pausing to look around at the room Sebastian had decidedly left me in. “Guess I should get up and look around.”

I methodically look through the room. “It seems Sebastian has been a collector by all the books and musical CDs on the couple of shelves in the corner.” I find other things like data files, USB drives laying around on a desk amongst other things.

Chapter 13: Husband and Wife.

Sebastian enters the room from a vent in the ceiling a short time later. He turns off my phone so P.AI.nter can’t listen to our conversation.

Sebastian crawls down from the vent with canned food and a med pack. He slithers towards me and comes to a stop basically atop me. “Bella, there’s something you should know about me. I’m sure you’ve put the pieces together by now.” He brushes some of my hair out of my face with his finger. The action is tender and loving.

“I’m Sebastian Solace and your Isabella Solace. You’re my wife.” Sebastian continues. He rests his head on your shoulder.

“How could you possibly be my husband? Last time I checked, I wasn’t married to the mix of a fish and sea snake.” I respond back.

“Rude much. I look like this because after Urbanshade whisked me away, they experimented on me. They turned me into this… abomination. But don’t worry, it’s got its perks.” Sebastian replies.

“So, you’re not mad? After all, I’m the reason you got accused of murdering those people.” I say, looking away shamefully.

“After hearing the way, you recounted your side of the story and how perfectly it matches my side, I’m not mad. If anything, I’m just glad you’re here with me now.”

He gives me a loving kiss on the lips that seems to last forever but is only a few moments. Sebastian nuzzles my neck. “Can you accept me for who and what I am now?” Sebastian asks.

“Of course I can. You know I’ve always loved reptiles.” I respond happily. He takes a big sniff of my neck, and I lay there, frozen for a moment.

“What the fuck? Did… DID YOU JUST SNIFF ME?” I asked bewildered. Sebastian only responds by coiling his massive body around me.

“Just making sure you haven’t lost your edge. Besides, you smell good, and I’ve got an enhanced sniffer.” Sebastian remarks with a sly smile.

“Whatever, weirdo.” I roll over to go to sleep. He wraps his arms around me and curls up closer. That was the first night we slept together after many years apart.

Chapter 14: Secret Plans.

                I wake up the next morning and surprisingly, I’m awake before Sebastian. I remember the times when he was the early bird but that was a time when he was human. I roll over and cup his handsome fish face. He looks so peaceful when he sleeps. I look at the eyebrow piercings, lip piercings and the few ear piercings he’s managed to retain. For the most part his face is largely the same as I remember. His shoulder length curly black hair, his manly stubble.

                “Just what do you think you’re doing sweetheart?” Sebastian asks, his voice groggy with sleep.

“Sorry. I just remember how you’d snore super loudly and how you always were the early bird.” I respond. I get up with a sigh. “Where’s my phone? I think P.AI.nter is a bit restless.”

“It’s over there.” Sebastian points to a shelf on the other side of the room.

I got up and grabbed my phone. I turn it on, and I’m greeted with P.AI.nter’s face. A face that signified that P.AI.nter was NOT happy.

“YOU LET THAT OVERSIZED FISH TURN ME OFF!!! I WAS SOOOOOO LONELY!!!” P.AI.nter screeches, almost blowing out my speakers. Sebastian sits in the corner looking rather smug. I sigh heavily and P.AI.nter continues his rant about how he didn’t like being turned off and excluded from the activities.

“Okay P.AI.nter, that’s enough out of you, buddy.” I turn the volume down on my phone, so I don’t have to listen to him anymore. “Now that I’ve found who I’m looking for and a plus one…” I glance at P.AI.nter. “…I believe its high time we get out of this god-awful prison.”

“Sweetheart, I believe your forgetting a few things.” Sebastian says. He slithers around me. “You’re still wearing the PDG, and they only send more Expendables down here when the previous ones die. Besides, even if we DO get a submarine back down here, I’m sure it will only travel to the Urbanshade base and in not what you would call… ‘well liked’ there.” He pauses to think. “However, I can get that PDG off of your back. You’re going to have to be veeerrry still.”

“I can be still. We can devise a plan later with P.AI.nter’s help.” I stand completely still while Sebastian goes to get his tools. I turn the volume on my phone back up so I can hear P.AI.nter’s opinion on the matter. “So, what do you think P.AI.nter?”

“Leaving Hadal Blacksite… it sounds like a dream come true. I could paint again and just the thought makes me so happy.” P.AI.nter replies. It’s obvious by his hopeful expression that he wants to leave.

Sebastin comes back into the room with the scrambler and a couple of tools like a screwdriver and a pair of pliers. “Alright let’s see what I can do. I hope my skills aren’t too rusty.”

“Don’t kill me Sebby, that would make me sad.” I reply. I subconsciously stand at attention, a habit I gained from my time in the military.

“No promises.” Sebastian gets to work on disarming the PDG which is basically shotgun strapped to my back. It starts to beep, and I feel a cold sweet coming on. The beeping gets faster, and I squeeze my eyes shut. With a single snip of a wire, the PDG is disarmed. “Is it over? Am I safe?”

Sebastian pulls the PDG off my back. “You’re just fine honey. I think I know how to get a submarine down here.” Sebastian throws the PDG at the ground and it explodes.

“THEY EXPLODE?!” P.AI.nter shouts as he gawks at the spot where the PDG hit the ground.

“And to think I basically had a bomb on my back.” I grimace at the thought of the fate I could have had. “Well, I guess we should go back to the docks in which I came from.”

Chapter 15: Bonding time.

                “Hey Bastain, what’s it like having legs?” I ask as I walk beside him with my phone which contains P.AI.nter.

                “Well, at first it was hard to get around. Waking up from surgery with a tail for legs was NOT fun. After a while I got used to it, however, I get phantom leg pains from time to time.” Sebastian replies thoughtfully.

                “I think I have an idea about how can escape from here. I hope your engineering skills aren’t too rusty Sebastain.”

“What are you planning Bella? It’s been years since I’ve done any sort of engineering.”

“Maybe I can convince P.AI.nter to help you. I think he wants out as much as we do.” I walk into room 43. The lights flicker and I dive into a locker. Sebastian stands firm knowing that almost every single entity is afraid of him. That includes the angler.

The angler comes charging through the room and goes right around Sebastian. “You can come out now Bella, Pinky is gone.”

“That thing was ugly.” P.AI.nter said bluntly, his tone tinged with disgust.

“That was close. How come it didn’t it attack you?” I asked him, stepping out of the locker and into the darkened hall.

“There used to be another type of Angler that was blue in color. Its name was River. It tried to attack me, so I sucked it up with a vacuum. I think the rest of the anglers got the message after that.” Sebastian replied nonchalantly.

I go through a desk and find a flashlight. “Ooooh! A flashlight!” I accidentally flash Sebastian with it.

“OWWW!!!” Sebastain picks me up and gets up my face.

“Oh snap!” P.AI.nter says quietly.

“Do. NOT. Do. That. Again.” He snarls. Sebastian stops to think about his actions and with a heavy sigh, he apologies. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t treat you that way. It wasn’t kind and you’re my wife. I-I can’t bring myself to hurt you.

“It’s alright Sebby. You can set me down any time now.” Sebastian sets me down. “I think we should just keep going.”

Chapter 16: Trauma.

                As our little ragtag group continues our walk to the docks, we come across what looks like a test chamber in room 28. P.AI.nter and I have no problem with it, but Sebastian stops in his tracks and just stares.

                “Sebby? What’s wrong?” I turn around and walk towards Sebastian. Sebastin just stairs at the broken test chamber with wide eyes, as if remembering a dark traumatic event. I grab his hand, and it seems to snap him out of the trance he was in.

                “I’m alright little one. Just remembering something I wish I didn’t.” Sebastian says with melancholy in his tone.

                “Do you want to talk about it?” I ask, massaging his fingers, something that always calmed him down when he was a human.

                “That chest chamber… I was in there for a long time. Forced against my will. The pain was excruciating and like no other. They took me apart, rearranged my parts and put me back together again.” Sebastian’s fin-like ears flatten against his head, signifying his disdain.

“I remember everything like it was yesterday. I escaped, this chamber and killed so, so many people. Innocent or not, I killed them. I released the other entities that roam these halls.” Sebastain turns away. “We should get going.”

“Well, my story isn’t that sad, but if it makes you feel better. I was taken from my creator. He was murdered by Urbanshade, and I was brough here to mine Roblux. That was the worst experience of my entire existence. I know my story isn’t sad or traumatic but it’s how I got here.” P.AI.nter said thoughtfully.

“Damn, you both have sad stories. If only I could have protected, you both.” I whisper quietly. “Anyways, we’ll be at the docks soon.”

Chapter 17: Backtrack!

We make our way through the halls, avoiding Anglers, two Eyefestations and even Pandemonium. We arrive at the first room where the submarines unload Expendables. However, the whole room is flooded.

“Uhhhh, guys? I think we have a tiny problem…” I whisper.

“It seems so. Not to worry though, there’s an emergency escape sub on the other side of the facility where the crystal is located.” Sebastian replies.

“Yeah, but that’s SOOOOO faraway though. Now we… well, you two have to walk alllllll the way over there.” P.AI.nter whines. Sebastian huffs and rolls his eyes.

“I need to sit down for a while, I’m so tired.” I enter one of the nearby offices and sit down in one of the office chairs. I instantly fell asleep, leaving Sebastian and P.AI.nter to devise a plan.

“So, what now?” P.AI.nter asks.

“Not sure, we need to find a way to move forward somehow. I don’t need Urbanshade coming down here. Their obviously up to something if the flooded the Expendable drop off zone.” Sebastian whispers with a frustrated sigh.

“How did you know it was Urbanshade? It could have been the Eyefestation for all we know.” P.AI.nter replies.

“Yeah, well I don’t think the Eyefestation has a laser cutter or the ability to cut an inch wide line up the side of the drop off station.” Sebastian growls. His anger isn’t directed at P.AI.nter but at the people who made him like this in the first place.

“Well, Bella is asleep. How do you suggest we keep moving?”

“I could carry her with my third arm and tuck her under my coat so none of the other monsters see her or can get to her.”

“That could work, but do you have the required strength and stamina?”

Sebastian takes off his coat and wraps my sleeping form up in it. He holds me close to his chest with his lower left arm. “She’s not even that heavy actually. I guess being a giant sea monster DOES have its perks.” Sebastian remarks.

“Great! The sooner we get out of here, the better.”

We make our way through the rooms. Not many monsters come about and none of them dare to bother the fearsome Saboteur. By the time we room 100 P.AI.nter had fallen asleep. The only remaining person awake is Sebastian. After leaving room 100, Sebastian was carrying a brown leather satchel. He places the scuba gear on my face and puts my phone which still contains P.AI.nter in a waterproof bag. Sebastian swims to the escape sub before waking both P.AI.nter and I up.

“Where… where am I?” I ask.

“The last remaining escape sub.”  Sebastian responds.

Chapter 18: Escape to the Island.

“Alright P.AI.nter, time to strut your stuff.” I give P.AI.nter some coordinates.

“You know those are coordinates to an island, right? No one lives there.” P.AI.nter asks, his voice tinged with worry.

“Why are we going to an island?” Sebastian asks. He’s so large that he takes up most of the available space in the small submarine.

“I bought the island and built a home on it in the time you were gone. I discovered some government secrets, and they paid me to keep hush hush. The island is nice. And it has some cutting-edge tech. unfortunately the walls have lots of hallow space because the construction team I hired did a terrible job. I think you both will like it.” I respond. I can see P.AI.nter’s face on my phone light up upon hearing me mention technology and Sebastain looks relieved upon hearing it’s spacious.

“Will you plug me in so I can reside in the house, Bella?” P.AI.nter asks, his voice filled with hope.

“Of course, P.AI.nter. I’d like to have my phone back eventually.” I notice the bag Sebastian has. It looks like a brown leather satchel, and I think nothing of it.

“Space sounds fantastic, love.” Sebastain responds. “How long is it going to take to get there, P.AI.nter?” He asks.

“Uhhhh. About 8 hours. You two should get some shut eye while I steer this sub.”

“Sounds good to me.” I respond. “Sebby, I want to lay down.” Sebastian moves his coils to make a little pocket for me to lay down in. “Your so overprotective.” I remark to Sebastain who responds with an amused snort. I lay down in Sebastian scaly coils. Sebastian lays his head down on my chest to listen to my pulse. Soon after, we both fell asleep in each other’s arms.

Chapter 19: New Home.

                We arrived at my island home. P.AI.nter decides to throw the submarine engines  into overdrive. He sends the submarine ashore, and the abrupt stop knocks me out of Sebastian’s arms, something he’s not pleased about.

                “We’re here guys!” P.AI.nter says in a singsong voice.

                “Come on, let’s get you two settled” I say as I get up groggily. I grab my phone which still contains P.AI.nter with one hand and one of Sebastian’s hands with the other. “Babe, cover your eyes. the sun is just a tad bit bright.” The door of the submarine opens and it’s raining outside on the island. “Never mind, I guess.”

                “Mmmmmmm. Fresh air.” Sebastian says happily as he steps off the submarine. “Come on, let’s go inside. I want to explore my new home.”

                I guided Sebastian up the slope to the large manor on the cliff. I produce a pair of keys and unlock the front door. “Go on, go inside and tell me what you think When you’re done, I’ll see about replacing the bandages on your lower left arm.”

                Sebastian takes off, exploring every nook and cranny of his new domain. I plug P.AI.nter into the router. I see sparks fly off of every cord as he gains control of all of the appliances and electronics.

                “Now THIS is the life.” P.AI.nter says with a happy sigh. “I’m gonna go play around with my newfound control over this home.

                “Have fun P.AI.nter.” I go into the bathroom to grab my first aid kit and when I come out, I find Sebastian curled up on the bed like a content puppy.

                “I’m ready for you to wrap my arm up, darling.” Sebastian says flashing me a charming smile. Or at least it would have been charming if his mouth wasn’t filled with razor sharp teeth.

                “Nice teeth Sebby…” I start unwrapping his arm to reveal massive scratch marks. “Care to explain?”

                “I was being careless. I was attacked by one of the good people.” Sebastian said quietly. He looked away so he didn’t have to watch me stitch up his arm and wrap it in bandages. It reminded him too much of when he was being experimented on in Hadal Blacksite.

                “There we go. You’re all stitched up and bandaged.”

                “Thank you, Bella.”

                “No problem sweetheart.”

Chapter 20: Dinner Time!

                I headed downstairs to start making dinner. “Sebastian, what do you want to eat for dinner?" I ask, yelling up the stairs.

                “Uhhhhh… a steak!” Sebastian shouts back from upstairs. “Haven’t had one of those in a long time.

                “Alright, do you want to help me make dinner, P.AI.nter?” I walk into the kitchen and get four steaks out.

                “I want to help! I want to help!” P.AI.nter squeals with digital excitement. He goes from the TV screen to the screen on the refrigerator. “Why did you get four steaks out if there is only two of you?

                “Have you seen the size of Sebastian? He probably eats like a horse! I don’t want him to go to bed hungry.”

                “I never thought about that. What are you doing now?” P.AI.nter asks curiously.

                “I’m seasoning the steaks. I did a lot of self-improvements over the last 12 or so years that Sebastian was gone. That includes cooking skills. I’m slathering the steaks in garlic butter. I’m gonna try it with salt and pepper.

                “Can you turn on the air fryer for me P.AI.nter?” I hear the air fryer begin to preheat. “Thanks.”

                Once the air fryer is done preheating, I place two of the steaks into the air fryer. “M’kay, I’m feeding these to Sebastian, so these are your practice steaks. Try to cook them to a medium rare P.AI.nter.”

                “Got it! I’ve never tried cooking before maybe it’s a new art form for me to discover.” P.AI.nter chirped happily.

                I make my way towards the living room. I pause in front of the stairwell to look up. I find Sebastian at the top of the stairwell with a nervous expression. “What’s wrong?” I asked Sebastian.

                “I don’t have legs…” He responds, hoping I’d understand. However, I don’t understand his dilemma.

                “Okay? What’s the problem?” I pause for a moment to think about it. “Ohhhhh. You can’t get down the stairs without sliding because you have no legs. Wait a minute, how’d you get up there in the first place?”

                “I struggled but basically clung to the handrail and dragged myself up the stairs.” Sebastian replied.

                I go up the stairs and hauled Sebastain’s body over my shoulder. He wraps his tail around me so I can carry him easier. “Alright, here we go.” I carried him down the stairs and sat him down at the table.

                “Maybe I should start working out more. Especially since you’re so heavy.” I mutter to myself.

                “The steaks are ready to be flipped Bella!” P.AI.nter chimed happily. “Cooking is actually really fun.”

                I lift the lid of the air fryer and flip the steaks. “A couple more minutes and the food will be done.” I started making some mashed potatoes and a salad to go with dinner.

                “Dinner smells great, love.” Sebastian purred. He grabbed the salad, mashed potatoes, and placed them on the table. I bring out the four steaks and set them on the table.

                “Four of them are for you Sebby, I wasn’t sure how hungry you’d be.”

                That night, we ate dinner, told stories, and joked around just like old times. Even P.AI.nter cracked a few jokes. That was probably the best night any one of us had had in a while.

Chapter 21: Dry Skin.

A few weeks later…

I went into the living room to find Sebastian writhing around on the floor. He grunts in discomfort making me concerned about him.

“Sebastian, what’s wrong sweetheart?” I ask, concerned about my mutated husband. I kneel by his side trying to figure out what’s wrong.

“My skin… it itches and hurts! I don’t know why.” He says, his voice tinged with obvious pain and discomfort.

I notice that he’s rubbing his scales and skin off in some places. “Stop, stop, stop! You’re hurting yourself. P.AI.nter, do you know what’s wrong with him?”

                “It looks like he’s got dry skin from being out of water for too long.” P.AI.nter responds. “Maybe you should put him in a bathtub full of water or something.”

                “A bathtub is too small. I picked up Sebastian and hurried him to the indoor pool on the other side of my manor. “It’s going to be okay Sebastian.” I helped him take his shirt and jacket off before I gently placed him in the water. Watching relief spread across his face brought warmth to my heart.

                I noticed the Metallica tattoo on his shoulder and back. “Seems that ink really is permanent.” I remark.

                “I’m going to stay right here with you. Take all the time you need.” I sit at the edge pf the pool. I take my boots and socks off before dipping my feet into the pool. I look at Sebastian who is completely submerged in the pool, his face expressing pure bliss.

                “How are you doing in there?” I asked, nervous about his health. After all, he didn’t exactly come with care instructions.

                Sebastian’s head emerged from the water. “I feel so much better. I used to take a dip in water every few hours when I was in Hadal Blacksite. I didn’t know it was fundamental to my health. I don’t want to stay in here every single day for hours at a time though.”

                “Maybe we can come up with something to solve your problem.”  I say to Sebastian. “Something like a tank in every room that are connected by pipes or something.”

                Sebastian sits up in the pool like he just had a revelation. “That’s a really good idea actually. Didn’t you say there was a lot of empty space in between your walls.”

                “Yeah. The construction team I hired did a terrible job at using the available space they had.” I reply.

                “Can you bring me the house plans, a bunch of paper, some pencils, and a ruler please?” He asks.

                “Sure.” I leave for a few minutes. I came back with the requested items. “Are you gonna put your engineering mind to work?”

                “You could say that.” He responds.

                We spent the next few hours talking and planning to build a new sanctuary to help Sebastian out. We took other things into account like comfort and helping him get up and down the stairs. P.AI.nter even chimed in every now and then to help too.

Chapter 22: A Day at The Lake.

                After some debating, Sebastian and I picked a construction team to do the job. The goal was to construct an aquarium-like space inside the empty spaces between the walls. Each aquarium room would be connected by a pipe.

The day of construction has arrived, and I decided to take the lake on the island that’s almost surrounded by a cliff-forming escarpment.

“Here we are guys!” I place my phone which contains P.AI.nter again in a waterproof ball. I set him in the water causing him to squeal with joy.

“It’s a tad bit bright out here.” Sebastian grumbles. “Why couldn’t we stay inside?”

“I don’t want anyone seeing you, Sebby. You’ll scare people and people will tell their families who will inter tell the news. I don’t want people coming here to gawk at you or worse, Urbanshade finding us.” I respond, taking off my shirt and shorts to reveal a bikini. Sebastian’s face becomes beet red, and he looks away grumbling. He enters the water and swims off to reside near the waterfalls under the water.

“So, where does all the water go?” P.AI.nter ask.

“It drains out to the ocean via a massive underwater cave.” I reply.

“Anyways, its swimming time!” I made my way through the water until I’m chest deep. I pushed the clear beach ball containing P.AI.nter father out into the lake. I take a doughnut floaty out with me. I climb into the floaty, happy to float about. Meanwhile, Sebastian is in the water under me, plotting…

Suddenly, a huge wave of water overtakes me and the floaty. “SEBASTIAN SOLACE!!! That was NOT nice!!!!” I yell. All I get in response is some mischievous giggles. “Now I’ve got to find P.AI.nter.”

I spot the clear beachball containing P.AI.nter on the other side of the lake. I manage to swim halfway when I start to become tired. Sebastian seems to notice because he swims under me, allowing me to hitch a ride on his back.

“Thanks.” I mutter under my breath, pretending to sound upset.

Sebastian smirks, “Your welcome, princess.” Sebastian swims over to the other side of the lake to P.AI.nter who has been screaming this entire time.

“PLEASE, HELP MEEEEEE!!!!!!” P.AI.nter screams from within the clear beachball.

“We’re coming P.AI.nter.” I responded with a heavy sigh. I grab the beach ball and hold him close.

“It seems we’ve been out here for a while. Want to go watch the sunset?” I ask.

“Boy, doesn’t that sound romantic. I’m okay with being the third wheel.” P.AI.nter replies.

Sebastian snorts and rolls his eyes. We ascend to the top of the waterfalls through a hidden cave. We come out to the cliff by the waterfalls where we sit on the edge, dangling our legs (or in Sebastian’s case, his tail) off the edge. P.AI.nter sits behind us, looking away to give us privacy.

“I’m glad I found you again, Sebastian.”

“I’m glad I got to see you again too.” Sebastian leans in and gives me a long, loving kiss.

That’s how we spent the next two months while the watery sanctuaries were being built in my home for Sebastian.

Chapter 23: Wet activities.

                One late afternoon, I’m notified that the indoor aquariums were completed. After watching the construction teams leave, I wish them well. Then I went to the waterfall lake to notify Sebastian and P.AI.nter that it’s been complete.

                “Come on Sebastian! We got to check it out!” I take P.AI.nter, who is currently in my phone, to the router so he can go back to being in control of the house.

                “Alright P.AI.nter, fill the tanks.” I say enthusiastically. I helped Sebastian into the tank in the living room. The water level in the tanks starts to rise and before long, they are all filled.

                “Go on Sebastian, go explore.” As soon as those words leave my mouth, he’s gone.

                Sebastian yells excitedly upon finding out that he doesn’t have to climb the stairs anymore. He happily swims about the house, exploring his new watery sanctuary.

                “How is it, Sebastian?” I ask. I find my answer in his gleeful giggles as he races from tank to tank inside the house.

                “He reminds me of when Rocket got the zoomies.” I say, reminiscing about old times.

                “Who’s Rocket?” P.AI.nter asks.

                “Rocket was a Siberian husky Sebastian, and I used to have. He would get the zoomies and race around the house when he got excited. He LOVED to run. Sebastian was always a cat person but he somehow managed to tolerate Rocket. He died shortly after Sebastian was taken by Urbanshade.” I respond. Sebastian exits the tank from the open top and lands on the floor.

                “You got water everywhere, babe.” I started throwing towels at Sebastian to help him clean up the mess he made.

                “Sorry, it’s been so long since I was excited like that.”

                “It’s alright. I’m gonna go get ready for bed.” I headed upstairs to our shared bedroom to take a shower. Sebastian follows me with the intent of joining me. I enter the bathroom and begin to prepare my shower.

                “Can I help you mister?” I asked Sebastian.

                “I want to take shower with you. Just in case you need help reaching and cleaning some spots on your back.” Sebastian purred.

                I looked at the tub and then at Sebastian a few times. “You see, you’re a tad too big for the bathtub.” I take my clothes off and step into shower spray.

                “Doooon’t caaare.” Sebastian says in a singsong voice. He excitedly joins me in the shower, taking up most of the available space. He curls up around me in loose coils, taking the detachable showerhead off the wall and spraying me down with it.

                --

                I sigh heavily. “Really Sebastian?”

                “Yes darling, really.” He replies smugly. “Besides, it’s not like you can manhandle me like you used to. I’m a big boy now.” He starts massaging some shampoo into my hair with two of his hands while his second left arm wraps itself around my waist.

                “You remind me of a big clingy puppy, Sebastian.” I remark.

                “I’m a big clingy puppy huh?” Sebastian licks my cheek with his big slimy purple tongue.

                “EWWWWWWWWW” I squeal. I try to wriggle my way out of Sebastian’s grasp, but I guess he’s put on some muscle over the past eleven years.

                “YOUR DISGUSTING” I screech but all Sebastian does is giggle. I grab the shower head from his grasp and spray him in the face with it.

                “Now, now, sweetheart. Behave yourself.” Sebastian says in a tone that mocks authority.

                “Whatever,” I mutter under my breath. I finish washing my body and I turn the water off. Sebastian and I dry off.

I put on a cute blue dinosaur onesie and Sebastian puts on an oversized white shirt. We go to bed and Sebastian wraps me up possessively in his coils. He holds me close, almost like he’s afraid of losing me.

Chapter 23: Birthday boy!

                The next few months go by in a blur. Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years Eve come and go. For Christmas, P.AI.nter got a new art program to use, Sebastian got an electric guitar, and I got a shotgun to add to my collection.

February comes around which brings me today, February 3rd. Sebastian’s 33rd birthday. I had a whole plan devised; the only problem is keeping Sebastian distracted while I prepare.

“Alright P.AI.nter, remember your part of the plan, right?” I ask, beaming with delight. I look at the TV screen in the living room that’s displaying P.AI.nter’s digital face.

“Yep! Keep Sebastian distracted while I make him a cake and prepare his birthday surprise.” P.AI.nter chirps. “I’ve locked him in a room, he doesn’t realize he’s contained yet. I’ll keep him distracted by asking him to play songs on his electric guitar for me.”

“Great! I’ll get to work.” I hurried to the kitchen to start to make a marbled cake. I baked the cake and made homemade chocolate icing.

As the cake bakes, I decorate the living room and wrap Sebastian’s gift. What did I get him? CDs for every Metallica album. As I clean, I find a box containing some of Sebastian’s old stuff. After briefly going through it, I find an old picture of him from when he was human, and he was such a handsome man! He was covered in tattoos and piercings; his skin was a beautiful and his black curly hair framed his face perfectly. With a soft, sad smile, I tucked the photo into my pocket.

The cake finished baking, and I pulled it out of the oven. I whipped the icing using an electric mixer to put some air into it, so it becomes nice and fluffy. Once that’s done, I scour my kitchen for some candles. Upon finding them, I set them out. A few hours went by, and I eventually heard P.AI.nter’s panicked voice.

“I think Sebastian has seen through our ruse. He’s getting restless and I don’t know what to do!” P.AI.nter says, his face appearing on the screen on the refrigerator.

“Uhhhh. Hold him off for a few more minutes!” I quickly iced the cake and put the candles in the cake. I light them and place the cake on the table. I also hide his individually wrapped gifts around the living room and dining room.

“Turn the lights off and let him loose P.AI.nter.” I whisper. I faintly hear a door slam open and a very angry Sebastian sneaking down the stairs with predator-like strength.

“Why the FUCK did… you…” His anger died on his tongue upon seeing the cake laid out before him with his name on it. “You… you did this for… me?” He asked, his voice akin to that of a small afraid child. He slithered closer, tears streaming down his face. “I haven’t celebrated my birthday in such a long time…” He whispered. I start singing happy birthday to Sebastian, making him cry more happy tears.

“Can I?” Sebastian asks, pointing at the candles.

“It’s your cake, Sebastian.” I respond.

Sebastian stood there for a few minutes to make a wish. He blows the candles out. P.AI.nter turns the lights on.

“Go find your gifts Sebastian. They’re hidden around the living room and dining room.”

Sebastian begins his search in the dining room in search of his elusive gifts.

“There are five in the dining room and six in the living room.” I say, slyly.

He squeals with delight upon finding the first one on the table. He finds the next one in the chandelier, another one in a drawer, one in the flower vase. He struggles but after a while he finds the last one in the dining room which is taped to the underside of the chair. He excitedly slithers to the living room. He finds the first one in the living room on the coffee table. He finds the last five on the back of the TV, under the carpet, under the couch, between couch cushions and taped to the ceiling.

P.AI.nter appears on the TV screen in the living room. “Unwrap them, Sebastian.” P.AI.nter says, encouragingly.

With barely contained excitement  he unwraps his 11 gifts which turn out to be the 11 Metallica studio albums.

“Please, take these upstairs!” Sebastian gives the albums to me and hops into his tank. He swims through the pipe that leads to the upstairs. He hopes out of the tank in our room, getting water everywhere.

“Come on! Come on! I want to listen to them!” Sebastian shouts excitedly.

“I’m coming.” I walked upstairs to our room. inside, Sebastian is almost bouncing off the wall. “Calm down Seb.” I set the Metallica albums on the bed. Sebastian snaps on up and places it in the radio. The album starts to play, and Sebastian begins to do some head banging.

Chapter 24: An Unexpected Visitor.

                The next few months go by, and we grow closer as a family. Sebastian and I had decided that we’re going to adopt P.AI.nter as our son. Sebastian took back up his engineering studies and got his master’s degree. He even built P.AI.nter a humanoid and waterproof body with the knowledge he gained. The summer months arrived, and we decided to go swimming in the lake again.

                “Alright guys, who’s ready for a swim?” I asked excitedly.

                “MEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!” Shouts P.AI.nter.

                “Me too!!!” Sebastian says.

                We headed down to the lake to swim. I put P.AI.nter in a floaty so he doesn’t sink to the bottom. I headed to the top of the waterfall to jump into the water. I landed in the water and startled Sebastian.

“That’s payback for last time.” I say smugly.

                Meanwhile, P.AI.nter is happily floating about the lake. He is taking in the sight of the waterfalls that surround the lake so he can paint them later. After a while something comes from the sea and through the underwater cave to the lake. Sebastian is the first to notice the change. He quickly drags both P.AI.nter and I to shore.

                “Hey! What gives?” P.AI.nter asks angrily but after seeing Sebastian’s expression, his anger turns to concern.

“What’s wrong?” I ask.

“There’s something in the lake. Something familiar.” Sebastian growls. His ears are flat against his head, displaying his anger and agitation.

Suddenly, the Eyefestation breaches the water like a dolphin. Wait a minute… THE EYEFESTATION?!?

“What the hell is THAT doing here.” I ask.

“That’s what I’m about to go find out. Looking into its eyes doesn’t affect me because I don’t have a brain like you two.” P.AI.nter says. He walks into the lake, his metal body sinking to the bottom. He spends what feels like a long time down there but was likely a few minutes.

“I’m going after him.” Sebastian says.

“No, It’s too dangerous.” I whispered, holding him back.

To our relief, P.AI.nter comes back with a message from Eyefestation. “He’s not going to hurt you guys.”

“What did he say?” I ask.

P.AI.nter comes closer to relaying the message. “The Eyefestation came here seeking refuge. Apparently Urbanshade had been acting up around Hadal Blacksite a lot in the few days after we left. The Eyefestation had followed us here. He’s been trying to find a way to contact us and warn us of Urbanshade.” Sebastian’s jaw visible clenches upon hearing about Urbanshade.

“I’m going to go talk to that mutilated fish.” Sebastian swims back into the lake angrily.

“Guess we should follow him and prevent him from doing something hell regret down the road.” I swam into the lake with P.AI.nter. we get deep enough for Eyefestation to get to us; however, it doesn’t attack. It seems it can control when it fries the brains of others.

“Start talking Festation.” Sebastian growls.

“As P.AI.nter told you, I’m here seeking refuge. After you guys left, the site seemingly shut down, letting the monsters roam free. Many, many subs and unmanned crafts came, searching for something. I can’t tell you how many times I was almost found by them. I’m not sure what they were searching for, but it must have been important.” Eyefestation said. Sebastian’s face visibly darkens but no one notices.

Chapter 25: Refugees.

                “I think it’s worth mentioning that I’m not alone.” Eyefestation says. He moves out of the way of the cave that leads to the sea, revealing some Squiddles, the four anglers and Pandemonium. “As the Urbanshade submarines tore into Hadal Blacksite, the whole place became flooded and the only things that survived were the sea monsters. These five escaped and came with me.”

                “Of course. There are more deadly creatures with you because just having you here wasn’t enough.” Sebastian says, pinching the bridge of his nose.

                “They don’t seem aggressive or violent anymore. They are acting more like docile children.” P.AI.nter observes.

                “That’s because they are children. The four anglers are the Pandemonium’s children.” Sebastian replies. “They just aren’t fully developed.”

                “How do you know all of this?” I ask curiously.

                “You can learn a lot if you use files, USB drives and DNA tubes as currency.” Sebastian replies.

                “So, what are we gonna do with them all?” P.AI.nter asks.

                “Bella is the owner of this island and was the one that suffered from them the most. It’s her call” Sebastian says.

                After a moment of thought and a heavy sigh, I responded. “I guess we can just leave them in the lake.” I turn to Eyefestation, the Anglers and the Pandemonium. “You all can stay, provided that you don’t get into mischief or cause problems.” For a split moment I swear I can see an expression of gratitude on their faces.

                “Thank you, Miss…”

                “Just call me Bella.”

                “Thank you, Bella.” The Eyefestation says before swimming off to find a nice place to rest. The four anglers and the Pandemonium find a nice place to rest as well.

                “We should get going, it’s getting late.” P.AI.nter says. Sebastian, who is still upset, grumbles under his breath. We swam to shore and went back to our home. I tucked P.AI.nter in for the night before coming back to our room.

                “What’s wrong Sebastian?” I ask.

                “I’m just upset right now. I don’t want them here, yet they don’t have anywhere to go but back into Urbanshade’s hands which is something else I don’t want.” Sebastian says from his spot on the bed where he has curled up for the night.

                I crawl into bed where I’m pulled into Sebastian’s arms. “Why don’t you want them here? They seemed calm and docile.”

                “I… I’m afraid they’ll hurt you or P.AI.nter. After all the time I spent in Hadal Blacksite, I’ve never EVER seen them so calm and peaceful.” Sebastian says as he stares off in space. He’s obviously lost in thought.

                “Maybe they just need a change in scenery like you did. But I do think that what Eyefestation said abut Urbanshade is weird.” I furrow my brows in thought.

                “Me too. Why would they be active now? Surely, they would have tried to preserve the building instead of tearing it apart like the Eyefestation said they did.” Sebastian scratches his stubble.

                “Maybe they were trying to cover their tracks or something. After all, human experimentation is rather frowned upon and wouldn’t be supported by ninety-nine percent of people.” I whisper.

                “I don’t know. We should get some sleep, and we’ll talk to them in the morning. It’s been quite a long day for us all.” Sebastian curls up around me.

Chapter 26: Apologies and Revelations.

                The next morning, we woke up bright and early. We decided to leave P.AI.nter inside to draw and paint while Sebastian and I take care of the new residents on the island. We make our way down to the lake where we find the Eyefestation, anglers and the Pandemonium sharing some fish they had caught in the waters around the island.

                “Good morning!” I chirp happily.

                “Good morning, Bella.” The Eyefestation says. The Anglers and the Pandemonium let out grunts and wails that could pass for greetings.

                “Ahem. I believe and apology for what you put my wife through is in order.” Sebastian says his grip around my waist tightened.

                “That’s your wife? I didn’t even know you had one of those. I apologies for the Anglers, Pandemonium and myself. We… weren’t in our right minds at the time.” The Eyefestation said somberly.

                “It’s okay. I can’t imagine myself doing things differently if I was in your shoes. What else do you know about Urbanshade’s recent activities?” I ask.

                One of the Anglers, Pinky, starts making some kind of garbled noise. “She says Urbanshade was looking for Sebastian. She overheard some of the Urbanshade workers discussing something about Sebastian being able to conjure large amounts pf electricity from his body and make enough to power a large city for an entire year. Apparently Urbanshade has been down in the dumps and on the verge of bankruptcy since they lost control over Hadal Blacksite. They want to use Sebastian and sell the electricity to energy companies by storing his power in batteries.” Eyefestation translates for us.

                Upon hearing this, Sebastian was shocked. If he was drinking something he would have spit it out at this revelation. “I can WHAT?!” He rushes off to see if he can manifest this power and to let this new information sink in.

                I turn back to the Eyefestation. “Sorry about him, he just needs time to cool off.”

                “It’s okay, I can’t blame him for his reaction. I remember when I first woke up with a conscious and with the power to fry people’s brains. I was so scared and confused which quickly turned into anger. It hurt so much, being awake for that whole surgery.” The Eyefestations said, reminiscing of darker times.

                “I’m sorry to hear about that. I wish Urbanshade never existed.” I sit down on the edge of the pier, thinking about all the things I could have done if I had known about what Urbanshade was doing.

                After a while of melancholy thoughts, I get up. “I should probably go check up on Sebastian. I’m worried about him.” The Eyefestation nods in understanding. I Walk away from the lake and into the surrounding forest. After a while of walking, I find Sebastian on the beach in the light of the setting sun.

                “Sebby, are you alright? I know that’s a lot to take in bu-”

                Sebastian interrupts me. “Everything that Pinky told Eyefestation is true. I can control and manipulate some electricity. I… I can’t do it on command. I did it once, and I didn’t even know what I did but it all makes sense now. I did it after being told that I was innocent and that what was done to me was irreversible. The voltage output was so high that the power was out for two weeks, and 100 workers were killed.”

                “I see…” He tries again to call on his powers, but nothing happens, making him even more frustrated.

“Hey, look at me.” When he doesn’t look at me, I come in front of him and grab two of his hands.

“Sebby, Look at me. There is no need to get frustrated.”

“BUT I CAN’T EVEN CONTROL MYSELF. I CAN’T CONTOL MY POWERS EVEN THOUGHT THEY CAN HELP US GET RID OF URBANSHADE.” At this point, Sebastian is truly angry. Electricity runs down the length of his body, frying the grass around him. As quickly as the electricity came, it was gone and all the while, Sebastian hadn’t taken notice.

“Hey, calm down. Do you even realize what you just did?” I ask calmly.

Sebastian’s eyes widen in surprise. “Did… did I really summon some electricity?”

I smile. “You sure did sweetheart.”

Chapter 27: Nature’s Tempest.

                The next few days come and go. Sebastian spends most of his time outside trying to summon his powers. One day a terrible storm is about to roll in.

P.AI.nter tugs on my shirt to tell me something. “Bella?”

                “Yes P.AI.nter?” I asked, giving him a soft smile. I crouch down to his level.

                “You need to warn Sebastian. You need to bring him inside.” P.AI.nter says, a slight panic in his voice.

                “Why? What’s wrong?” Worry begins to tinge my voice.

                “There’s a bad storm rolling in. I can feel it interfering with my connection to the satellites.” P.AI.nter looks at me with concern in his eyes.

                “Alright, I’ll text him.” I pulled my phone out and typed a message to send to Sebastain.

Bella: Hey, can u come inside? Painter says there’s a storm coming in and he’s super nervous.

                Sebastian: Yeah. I’m coming.

                “He’s coming inside P.AI.nter.” P.AI.nter sighs in relief. I look outside the window at the darkening skies.

                “I’m sure everything will be fine P.AI.nter.” I rub the top of his head. Sebastian steps inside just before the downpour starts.

                “Thanks for the warning.” Sebastain sits down with us on the couch.

                “So, what do you guys want to do now that it’s pouring outside.” I ask.

                “We can watch a movie or something.” P.AI.nter says. He turns the TV on telepathically, taking advantage of the fact that a small bit of his self-made coding is still in the house devices. He surfs though YouTube, eventually settling on a video that’s chock full of dark humor jokes and weird memes. Meanwhile, the storm outside picks up. It becomes very windy and even starts to hail a bit. Thunder once quiet is now loud and every few seconds and lighting is everywhere.

                “Seem’s that nature has brewed quite the tempest outside.” Sebastian says. “Hold on a minute…” He gets up and looks out the window. His jaw drops at the sight of a waterspout spinning about in the ocean.

                “What are you looking at- HOLY SHIT!!!!!” I shouted. Now I too, am looking at the waterspout with a flabbergasted expression. P.AI.nter comes over to join us just as the power goes out.

                “I believe that is our cue to head to the basement.” P.AI.nter remarks.

                “Agreed.” We gather some stuff like pillows, blankets, water bottles, snacks and a flashlight before we start our trek to the basement. Sebastian arranges the pillows and blankets like a nesting bird. Once he finishes, he curls up on it, pulling P.AI.nter and I close to him to keep us safe.

                “Bella, I’m scared.” P.AI.nter whispers.

                I rub the top of P.AI.nter’s head. “It’s gonna be okay, dear.

                For hours, we sat together, letting the storm pass. We spend our time telling funny stories and jokes or napping while one of us keeps watch. Sebastian’s esca keeping the space lit. Once the storm passed, we exited the basement to survey the damage.

                “Well, it doesn’t seem to be too bad.” Sebastian remarks. “The house is seemingly unaffected minus the power outage.”

                “That’s good. I’ll go check on the Eyefestation and the others in the lake to make sure they’re okay.” I leave and make my way towards the lake. Once arriving there I call out to Eyefestation who is the only one of the bunch that can talk.

                “Hey, is everyone alright here?” I ask.

                The Eyefestation surfaces to talk to me. “We’re alright, we hid in the cave connecting the ocean to the lake.”

                I sigh in relief. “I’m glad everyone is okay. Sebastian and P.AI.nter are okay too, just a little shaken.”

                “Anyways, now that I know everyone is okay, I’m gonna go back to the house and start cleaning up. See you later, Eye.” I wave a goodbye over my shoulder before beginning my trek home. Upon returning home, I find P.AI.nter and Sebastian already beginning the cleaning process of trees, branches and other stuff that is on and around the house.

                “Well, at least the inside is clean.” I remark.

Chapter 28: Warning signs.

                “Alright guys, now that everything is cleaned up and the power is restored, we can finally relax.” I sit down on the couch and turn the TV on. I searched through Netflix and found a Jurassic Park movie to watch.

                “How does Jurassic Park sound?” I asked.

                “Sounds great love!” Sebastian said as he curled up around me. He’s been super clingy lately and I have no idea why.

                “Dinosaurs! I love dinosaurs!” P.AI.nter squealed with excitement.

                I smile and turn the movie on. Midway through the movie, I get a random call from a number I don’t recognize. I shrug and decide I will answer it anyway.

                “I’ll be right back guys.” I get up and go sit on the deck to answer the call.

                “Hello, how may I help you?”

                “Hello, Isabella Solace. I’m here in regard to the few things in your possession that are Urbanshade property. Property that you stole while violating your contract with us.” The mysterious voice said.

                “E-excuse me? Who is this?” I become confused and rather concerned.

                “You have three days to return the crystal, Z-13, Z-283’s, Z-367, S-Q’s, z-779 and Z-317 or they will be forcibly removed from your possession.” The caller hangs up abruptly.

                “What the fuck! I don’t even know what a Z-13 is. I should probably tell Sebastian, maybe he knows.” I headed back inside to the living room and paused the movie.

                “Alright guys, family meeting time. Anyone know what a Z-13 is?”

                “That would be the codename given to me by Urbanshade. How  did you find out about that?” Sebastian asks, his voice turning into a low agitated growl. His ear fins flatten against his head and his tail flicks in agitation.

                “Urbanshade being involved in anything never has a good outcome.” P.AI.nter remarks.

                “As much as I hate to tell you this, I just got a call from a mysterious man claiming to be from Urbanshade.” I say quietly.

                “What did he want?” P.AI.nter asks.

“He demanded the crystal and what I’m assuming is the rest of you back. He said three days, or they’ll take you back by force. The thing is, we don’t even have the crystal so I’m not sure what that’s all about.” I sat down, frustrated.

“Yes, we do.” Sebastian grabs a brown leather satchel and pulls out the crystal.

“Why do you have that?” P.AI.nter asks worriedly.

“This crystal powers Hadal Blacksite. If it doesn’t have power then they can’t perform experiments there, now that I’m gone.” He holds the crystal up to the light, looking at it with disdain.

“So, what are we gonna do?” P.AI.nter asks, twiddling his thumbs nervously.

After a moment of thought, I smirk crosses my face. “The U.S. military owes me a favor or two. I think I know how to not only take Urbanshade down but completely crush it.” I go outside for a quick phone call. I come back inside, beaming with a malicious intent.

“Hope you guys don’t mind an aircraft carrier or two hanging around for a week or so. Time for phase two, social media…” I giggle at the thought I get to cause chaos and destroy a company that hurt my dear saboteur.

“How did you manage that?” P.AI.nter says, baffled.

                I smirk, “I threatened to tell people about how the president was cheating on his wife.”

                “Yup, that’s my cunning wife in action right there.” Sebastian says candidly.

“Alright, Bastian, go inform the Eyefestation and a few others of the situation. P.AI.nter, I need you to write the most convincing and exposing post about what Urbanshade has been doing for the last decade.” Sebastian set out for the lake and P.AI.nter got to work on his little essay.

“This is gonna be great.” I whisper excitedly as I rub my hands together.

Chapter 29: Exposure.

                Sebastian headed down to the lake to talk to the Eyefestation, anglers, Pandemonium and the few Squiddles that reside there. Sebastian swims down to the bottom of the lake where they reside.

“Hey guys, I know its late and everything but there’s something you need to know. We may or may not have some big human boats here for the next few days to few weeks.” Sebastian says.

“Why?” The Eyefestation asks.

“Urbanshade is looking for us. Furthermore, they are threatening to take us to a new experimentation lab now that Blacksite is gone. Bella is doing all that she can to keep us safe, she called in the U.S. military by threatening to expose some drama about the President.” Sebastian replies.

“Is there anything we can do to help?” The Eyefestation asks. The Squiddles squirmed nervously in their dark corner and the anglers moved closer to Pandemonium.

“I don’t think so. Besides, it’s probably not a good idea to try to deal with this ourselves I don’t want anyone getting hurt.” Sebastian says with a heavy sigh.

“Bella is trying to cut Urbanshade off by the head by keeping us from them and ruining their reputation through social media.”

Meanwhile, P.AI.nter sits on the couch, digitally writing a post on just about every platform about what Urbanshade does to people and the prisoners it gets. He uses some of the video files he has in his memory software from when he was still in Hadal Blacksite.

“How’s it going P.Ai.nter?” I ask.

“It’s great. So many people have looked at the posts so far. I am definitely into this chaos stuff! Maybe I should hijack some news Chanels and broadcast the security cam footage of what they did to the Saboteur.” P.Ai.nter says with a dark chuckle.

“Great idea P.AI.nter. The more people that know about the atrocities Urbanshade has done the better. I’m sure a lot of what they’ve done is a punishable crime anyway.” I reply with a sadistic smile.

After a few moments, P.Ai.nter begins to giggle because he hacked enough satellites to broadcast some terrifying security footage from a Hadal Blacksite across every news channel.

“Now that’s how you get revenge!” P.Ai.nter says evilly.

People all across the world from the Americas to Eurasia and even Australia see what Urbanshade has done. The horror and pain inflicted on others in the name of science was an unpleasant sight for most. It goes through videos of experimentation on the Eyefestation to what was done to Sebastian replaying over and over again. A while later I’m called again by the man from last time.

“How DARE you ridicule my company like that!!!!” The man screams through the phone. P.AI.nter and I try to stifle our laughter. Sebastian enters the house and slithers into the living room

“Uh-huh. Maybe you should have thought twice before experimenting on people, my husband most of all.” I reply back in a snarky tone.

“You will pay for what you’ve done.” The man says angrily before hanging up the phone.

“I recognize that voice.” Sebastian says, his ears flat against his head. “That was M. Shade, the owner of Urbanshade.”

“Yeah, well he can kiss my ass. He’ll get you back only by prying you from my cold, dead hands.” I say confidently.

Chapter 30: Attack.

The next two days roll by quickly. Two American aircraft carriers roll into the water surrounding my island. They sit in the water, looking rather menacing. As predicted, on the third day, submarines bearing the Urbanshade logo roll in. They are immediately pummeled by the aircraft carriers. However, one submarine makes it by.

 It lands on shore and Mr. Shade and a few genetically modified soldiers step out. They managed to break into our house, which was a big mistake on their part because they were met with a very, very angry Sebastian. Sebastian kills the guards just leaving Shade.

“Now, now Sebastian. You do want to see your family again, right?” Mr. Shade says.

“Don’t you DARE bring them into this.” Sebastian snarls.

“You kill me, and they will be killed. Your mother, your little brother and your big sister. They are in my possession.” Mr. Shade said smugly. “They are being kept in Urbanshade Headquarters in Antarctica.”

I stand in front of Sebastian, so he doesn’t do anything rash. I smile widely and hold up a walkie talkie. The U.S. Aircraft carriers heard everything about the apparent hostage situation.

“You guys got all that?” I asked the walkie talkie.

“Yep, loud and clear. There will be a helicopter to pick up Shade in a few moments.” One of the ship’s Captains responded.

I take Mr. Shade outside to the awaiting helicopter. Once he’s gone, I come back inside to inform Sebastian about his family.

“They’re gonna start their search ASAP. Apparently, they’ve been eyeing a suspicious base in Antarctica for a while now and they finally have a reason to break into it.”

“That’s good, I guess. I hope my family is okay.” Sebastian says, worry etched onto his face.

“Can I come out now? Is it safe?” P.AI.nter asks.

“Yeah, you can come out now.” I respond. “We should probably get some sleep. It’s been a long day for everyone.”

Sebastian and I go up to our room and prepare for bed. I come out of the bathroom to find Sebastian curled up in a ball on the bed crying his heart out. I had rarely ever seen him cry so this made me extremely worried.

“Oh sweetheart, I’m sure they are okay.” I curl up next to him. With in seconds, Sebastian had curled up around me, holding me like a vice.

“Shhhh. It’s okay.” I ran my fingers through his hair and eventually started braiding little parts of his hair. Having his hair played with was one of the few things that helped him calm down. I plant little kisses on his cheeks, hands, jaw and neck.

“I love you, Sebastain.” I whispered in his ear.

“I love you too Bella, more than anything. Your mine and I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you happy and safe.” Sebastian responds.

Chapter 31: Messages.

                As the days pass, Sebastian becomes more and more anxious about the fate of his family. On the fifth day of nothing, I finally received word about his family.

“Hey, Sebby, guess what?” I enter our bedroom to hind Sebastian curled up in a ball on the bed, sulking.

“What?” He asks, clearly upset.

“Your family is safe.” I responded happily. My words seem to instantly cheer him up.

“Really? How are they? Where are they?” Sebastian says excitedly. He quickly slithers over to me, grabbing me up by the shirt and shaking me around.

“I don’t know but your mother was given my number.” I respond, I cradle your head in my hands, nuzzling your nose against my own. I look back at the doorway to find P.AI.nter smirking.

“Get a room, you two.” P.AI.nter says smirking. Sebastian huffs and rolls his eyes.

“Someone just sounds jealous.” Sebastain whispers to me. Somehow, P.AI.nter manages to hear Sebastian’s words

“I am NOT jealous! Love is disgusting!” P.AI.nter shouts from his room.

“Someone sounds like a moody teenager.” Sebastian snickers.

I roll my eyes and crawl back into bed for a lazy day. Sebastian leaves our room to continue arguing with P.AI.nter. While he’s gone, I get a message from an unknown number.

Unknown Number: Hello?

Bella: Who is this?

Unknown Number: This is Maria. Your Isabella Solace right

Bella: Yeah, why?

Unknown Number: I’m Sebastian’s mother. I was wondering if we could meet up sometime. I regret never supporting the marriage between you and Sebastian. I’d like to reconnect.

Bella: Uhhhhh. Sure, why not.

I schedule a virtual with Sebastian’s mom tomorrow to attend in secret. As far as I know, his family thinks he’s dead and gone. I don’t think they’d believe me if I told them he is alive and is now a giant mutated sea creature. Sebastian re enters our room and crawls under the blankets with me.

“Hey, Seb. Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure. What’s up?” Sebastian asks, nuzzling my black hair from behind.

“This might be a bit personal, and you don’t have to answer but, what happened to your father?” I stroke one of his hands as I ask that question. Sebastian takes a deep breath and begins to recount his story.

“He… he was not a good man. He was a drunkard and abusive. He would hit my mother and my older sister. He had laid hands on my little brother in public which led to his arrest. I haven’t seen or heard from him in a long time, and I’d like to keep it that way.”

“I see.” I respond, trying to calm the agitation that I can sense is arising with in Sebastian.

“What made you ask?” Sebastian inquires.

“I never heard you talk about him or mention him. I got curious.” I respond, running my fingers through his curly black hair.

“You’d look super cute if you let me braid your hair.” I whisper. Sebastian grumbles out a half-hearted complaint but lets me braid his hair.

Chapter 32: Reconnect.

                The next day, I settle down in the living room with my laptop to attend the video call. Sebastian was busy outside, trying to hone his electric powers and P.AI.nter was upstairs painting.

                “Alright, lets see what she wants.” I get on the video call. Once I’m logged in, I’m greeted with face of Sebastian’s mother, Maria.

                “Hello Bella. I’m glad you agreed to talk with me today.” Maria says. I look at her face and notice that she looks quite young and beautiful for her age.

                “I would also like to thank you for telling the military and having us rescued. I regret not supporting the marriage between you and Sebastian all those years ago.” Maria says.

                “It’s alright.” I respond. “You said you had something important to discuss?”

                “Yes, I was wondering if my children and I could come to live with you. After we were kidnapped Urbanshade had completely decimated our home looking for Sebastian, which is really weird because he’s dead.”

                “So, uhhhh, about that…” I responded with a guilty smile. “Sebastian may or may not be alive actually.” I scratch the back of my head.

                “He’s… alive?” Maria asks, in disbelief.

                “Yeah. But I’ve got a quick question, if you and your two kids come here, how are they gonna work?” I ask.

                “Well, both Lucas and Mia are hard working people. They both have work from home jobs. Lucas works for the bank and Mia is a doctor and a writer.”

                “Alright. I don’t think that I’d be able to support the household all on my own. When do you want to move over here to my island?”

                “You have an island?!” Maria asks in surprise.

                “Yeah.” I respond sheepishly.

                “Well then, if my son is truly alive like you say, then I’m sure he’s in good hands. We’ll be over there in two weeks, how does that sound?” Maria asks.

                “Sounds great! I’ll have your rooms prepared by then. I also have to tell Sebastian about you guys. He’s gonna give me an earful.”

                “That sounds about right.” Maria says. “Good luck facing his wrath. He’s very family orientated.” Maria says thoughtfully.

                “Well, it was nice talking to you. I’ll see you again in a few weeks, goodbye.” I said, waving goodbye.

                “Goodbye, Isabella.” Maria says, before hanging up.

                “Guess, I should go tell him and get this done and over with. He’s going to be so angry with me…” I headed outside to see Sebastian to tell him the news. Upon seeing him, I find him concentrating with a bit of electricity sparking between his webbed fingers.

“Your doing great Sebastian.” I whispered, breaking his concentration.

“Damn it! I had just gotten the hold of it.” Sebastian says, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Did you need something sweetheart.” Sebastian sighs heavily.

                “So, ummm Your mother… just called me?” I say sheepishly, ready for all the yelling Sebastian is about to do.

“WHAT?!” He roars. “Why the hell did you NOT tell me?!” Sebastian grabs me by the collar and  starts shaking me around.

“You’re a scary sea creature now and I didn’t want to scare her away. She along with the rest of your family thought you were dead for the last decade or so.” I squeak out.

“I suppose that makes sense. But you should have told me.” Sebastian says, setting me down on the ground.

“I’m sorry, Seb.” I say remorsefully. “One more thing you should probably know is that their moving in with us in two weeks.

“WHAAATTTT?!” Sebastian picks me up and throws me into the sea.

Chapter 33: Preparations.

                Over the following week and a half, Sebastian becomes more and more anxious. He cleans out the other three rooms in the house with the help of P.AI.nter. He’s constantly muttering about how “It needs to be perfect for them.” Two days before they arrived, I sit Sebastian down to talk to him.

                “Why are you so anxious, love?” I asked, massaging his scaly hand.

                “I-I’m nervous. What if I screw everything up? What if they don’t love me anymore? I’ve changed so much since I last saw them and not for the better.” He runs his hands though his hair in a panic.

                “Oh Sebastian, you’ll do fine. If everything doesn’t work out, I can just kick them off the island. Besides, I’m sure they still love you. You’re their brother and son.” I said, reassuringly. Sebastian still likes nervous. I go over to the radio and put in one of the Metallica CD’s in it. The song “Nothing Else Matters” in and it begins to play. I crawl into bed next to him and softly sing along to the song with him.

“Thanks. You always know how to calm me down.” Sebastian lays back on the bed with his hands intertwined on his chest. With a deep sigh he closes his eyes. As the final notes finish playing, Sebastian turns to me once more.

“How am I gonna tell my family with out scaring them?” He pulls out a picture of his human self and stares at it for a few moments. “I’m not exactly how they remember me.”

“Well, when they get here, I could tell them while you wait upstairs. Once their informed about your current predicament, you can come down to see them.” I suggested, thoughtfully. Sebastian wraps his third arm around my waist to pull me closer.

“That might work actually.” Sebastian says, scratching his stubble.

“Do you consider P.AI.nter our son? I mean we treat him as such.” I say, nuzzling Sebastian’s chest.

“I do in a way. I have yet to call him son yet though. He reminds me of a child in so many ways. From how excited he gets over little things to how wholesome he can be when he’s not causing mischief.” He responded.

“Should we introduce P.AI.nter to your family as our son?” I ask.

“Maybe we should ask P.AI.nter himself.” Sebastain suggests. We both get up and go to P.AI.nter’s room to ask him what he thinks. We entered his room to find him painting a beautiful cat drawing. Upon seeing us, P.AI.nter’s face instantly lights up.

“Hello!” He runs up to me and gives me a hug. I hugged his tiny metal body back. I pick him up and swing him around for a bit before putting him back down.

“Hey there P.AI.nter. We got some news for you.” I say, sitting down on his bed.

“So, my family will be moving in in a few days. We wanted to know if it was okay if we introduced you to them as our son.” Sebastian says, rubbing P.AI.nter’s back.

P.AI.nter thinks it over for a few moments before looking up at us with a beaming smile. “Yeah! Does that make me a Solace too?”

“I suppose it does, doesn’t it, Sebastian.” I ask.

“He’s right. P.AI.nter Solace. Its got a nice ring to it too.” Sebastian offers one of his charming smiles once more.

“Yippee!” P.Ai.nter squeals happily.

Chapter 34: Reunited.

                The day finally comes, and Sebatian’s family arrives via boat. I stand on the dock awaiting their arrival. They come with nothing but a few suitcases of stuff that they salvaged from their old home. Sebastian’s little brother Lucas, looks exactly like how Sebastian did when he was human. The only difference is that Lucas was a bit taller than Sebastian was. His mother looks good for her age and his older sister, Mia is a stunning young woman.

                “Welcome, welcome. The house is just up the path there.” I point to the large manor on the cliff behind us.

                “Oh wow! Your loaded!” Mia smacks Lucas upside the head.

                “Be nice Lucas.” Mia says. I laughed in response.

“ It’s alright. This way, I’m sure you want to see Sebastian again and our adopted son, P.AI.nter.”

Lucas grabs his stuff and walks next to me. “You have a son? What’s he like? Is he into sports.”

“Not quite Lucas. I also have something important to tell you about Sebastian but ill tell you once we get inside.” We make our way up the path to the house. Once there, I opened the door and guide them into the massive living room where P.AI.nter was drawing a sunset on the ocean.

“Hey P.AI.nter.” P.AI.nter looks up and a happy emoji flashes across his screen. He runs up to me for a hug.

“Everyone, meet P.AI.nter” Lucas, Maria and Mai looked equally taken aback that Sebastian and I had adopted an AI program and gave it a body.

“Hello!” P.AI.nter says excitedly. “Did you tell them yet?” P.AI.nter asks me.

“Not yet, You three might want to sit down for this one.” My tone becomes a c=somber one as they sit down.

“P.AI.nter. Go see your father.” P.AI.nter goes upstairs to sit at the top with Sebastian.

P.AI.nter and Sebastian sit at the top of the stairs, listening to me recount what happened to Sebastian along with his family. Sebastian’s heart clenches as he hears Hos sister gasp, and his mother begin to sob. Lucas, however, doesn’t believe me and starts to get aggressive with me.

“Look, you don’t need to spin up some tragic story to get attention for yourself. Look what you’ve done to my mom and sister.” Lucas growls, getting up in my face and pointing at his horrified sister and crying mother.

“Who said she was lying?” Sebastin leans against the wall, his voice is a tad deeper than his family remembers but its undeniably Sebastian in the massive sea monster standing behind them. Maria, Mia and Lucas just stared at him.

“Surprise guys.” He slithers over to Lucas and removes his hand from my wrist before settling onto the couch next to his mom.

"Hijo mío..." María whsipered. “¿De verdad eres tú, Sebastián?” His mother is so shocked she reverts back to her native language in Chile. (My son… Is that really you, Sebastian?)

"Sí, mamá, realmente soy yo". Sebastain responds, causing his sister to cry out in anguish. (Yes mama, it’s really me.)

"¡¿Qué te hicieron esos hombres horribles hermano?!" Mia cries out. Mia and Maria cling to Sebastian who holds them tight. I go upstairs to hang out with P.AI.nter, giving Sebastian and his family a moment to reconnect. (What did those horrible men do to you brother?!)

"¡Mierda! ¡Mi hermano es un maldito monstruo marino gigante!"Lucas shouts before tackling Sebastain with a hug. Mia starts pummeling Lucas with a pillow for calling Sebastian a sea monster. (Holy crap! my brother is a giant freaking sea monster!)

"¡Sé amable Lucas! ¡Estás siendo un imbécil en este momento!" Mia shouts. Sebastián snorts at the fact his family hasn’t changed one bit. (Be nice Lucas! your being an asshole right now!)

“Alright you two, that’s enough fighting.” Maria says. Sebastian, will you show us to our rooms?

“Yeah, of course. It’s upstairs.” Sebastain enters the tank and swims to the pipe to get upstairs. Once everyone is upstairs, Sebastian shows them to their rooms.

“If anyone else needs me, I’ll be in the room at the end of the hall.” Sebastian says before slithering into the room.

[95jezzica]

Your replies are closed, so I'll send this as an ask instead. I strongly agree with your idea of "Canon-Canon Nyo Nations", where the male and female characters represent regional cultures within the same country instead of making the female nations a "dream universe" gimmick. Expanding on this idea, what do you think about OCs who represent regions of the same nation? I would think it's a logical next step because 2 characters per country still wouldn't be enough to represent all regional cultures.

[Picture ID: Jamtland send an additional ask which says: "Whoops, I forgot to include this part in my first ask about "Canon-Canon Nyo Nations". What are your ideas for which regional cultures the female Nordics would represent, and what would the differences between them and the male Nordics? Picture ID End].

Oh yeah, sorry, the replies are still turned off. I have a post which seems to summon a lot of hateful idiots, so eventually I got too annoyed by it and turned off replies.

For the rest I will preface my answer with the fact I saw you're also Swedish on your profile, but I'll likely leave some extra information for any non-Swedes who might also read this, since I mostly use Sweden as an example. Also, fair warning to everyone: Long Post. [Below "Read More"].

For simplicity sake I've also choosen to just call nyo!Sweden Svea, and our canon-canon Sweden for... Well, Sweden.

Now, I personally don't make a lot of OCs unless they're humans or I'm making a human AU. (For an example I made Finland some "AU Parents", because I got REALLY tired of people always making Finland the orphan with no other family). With that said making OCs for regions and the likes is obviously still valid.

I also agree 2 personifications are too few for many countries, but I also understand why Hima wouldn't want to draw 3-100 characters for every country. Identity within a country is complicated too, because it depends a lot on who you're talking with as you describe your own identity.

If we take myself as an example. If I was talking with someone from another country I'd probably just say I'm European and/or Swedish, and perhaps mention I live on the west coast if they ask and/or seem more familiar with Swedish geography. If another Swede or Nordic asked I'd probably mention I live pretty close to Gothenburg - and if they live nearby I might go into more details, because my lil' hometown is small enough that there's no chance even other Swedes has heard of it unless they live somewhat close/have family in the area anyway.

My point is that it'd be difficult to make a representation for all kind of national-/regional-/state- identity within a country.

However, if we once again take Sweden as an example, I think (hws) Sweden would likely represent a lot of the middle/pretty far up in the west coast. Think the old Goths, and/or possibly Dalsland, Värmland, Dalarna.

Dalarna has the bonus of having a strong identity of their own in their region, and all three are placed close to (irl) Norway. It'd make sense how (hws) Norway and Sweden got to know each other early on then, but also how they might have met (hws) Denmark early.

Svea at the other hand is someone I view more as being further north-east, likely the literal ol' Svea, and someone I headcanon to have been among the first Swedish personification(s) to get into contact with the Finnish personifications.

It's weird though, because neither Sweden nor Svea really gives off "Stockholm vibes" (sorry non-Swedes/Nordics, I have no idea how to describe what "Stockholm vibes is) - but then again they are all based on Japanese stereotypes about the Swedes, so I guess it makes sense. x)

Another possibility I can imagine is the Swedish personifications in modern days being divided into something like this:

[Picture ID: A map of real life Sweden cut into three parts. From up to down: Norrland in strawberry red, Svealand in autumn leaf yellow, and Götaland in bright sea blue. End of Picture ID].

... with perhaps an additional personification for the far north and south. However, we have to keep in mind a lot of the far north of real life Sweden's lands would still be in the ice age early on and/or simply not be Swedish - and parts of what today is the real life far south Sweden would be with Denmark instead.

[Picture ID: An edited version of the previous picture, now with almost all of Norrland and the far south of Sweden faded out, since they weren't part of real-life Sweden at this point. Only a small part of south-east Norrland remains, now coloured and part of Svealand. The names are now also edited to say "North Swe" instead of "Norrland", "Svea" instead of "Svealand", and "1p!Sweden" instead of Götaland. End of Picture ID].

The picture above is a quick edit made by me and should by no means be used as a picture of research, so obviously not exact accuracy or anything, but it's a rough estimate of what (irl) Sweden would have looked like very early on, and also roughly what I headcanon (hws) 1p!Sweden and nyo!Sweden to represent/have represented respectively.

In history the Svea people more or less forced a union with the goths, but I headcanon (hws) Svea had absolutely no interest in working with the humans leaders and basically dumped all the responsibility and work on our (hws) Sweden instead. While Sweden was forced to work more closely with royals and leaders, Svea set to truly live like their people. That's not say say (hws) Sweden didn't interact with the "common people" at all, because he's a rebellious shit in his own right, but he was still forced to take on a lot of the responsibility and work with his leaders.

It didn't help that once Christianity was brought up in Scandinavia together with a less favourable view of women, 1p!Sweden no longer had a real choice than to take on the work. I think (hws) Svea moved back in with Sweden around the time Christianity became more common in Sweden (the lands and people), too. Partly because she felt guilty over having just dumped all the work and responsibility onto (hws) Sweden, but also because it was safer to live with someone she viewed and could claim as her brother. Svea would also have started out to (secretly) help Sweden out with work around this time, which only became official closer to modern days.

For the rest of the Swedish personifications I don't have a clear picture of what they'd look like, but the personification of "south-south" Sweden (in old days more viewed as "east Denmark") is likely around the same age as Denmark, Sweden and Svea, while the personification of Norrland is much younger than the rest of the Swedish personifications. I'd say (hws) Norrland likely didn't pop up until the Swedish population grew much bigger in the north and the Sami people were pushed further and further out in their lands by the Swedish population.

.

(cough). So I know I've basically only covered Sweden so far, but this post is already getting ridiculously long, so I will cheat a bit and refer you to @ifindus for Norway's regions instead. xD

[Again, art and OCs of the Norwegian regions made by @ifindus .]

Findus fully uses OCs for the regions to be fair, so I'm not entirely sure what I would make nyo!Norway represent since I really like Findus' OCs. x') . Maybe nyo!Norway could be more specifically the Oslo area? Because Oslo Norwegians are very different from Norwegians in the rest of Norway.

As generalization I'd say most of the Nordics probably have at least 3-5 personifications though, with one of them being the nyo. For an example Denmark might be divided into Jylland, Syddanmark, Sjælland, Hovedstaden - or it'd go a bit more detailed like cutting up Jylland in North & South like most maps.

(The Faroe & Greenland would obviously also have their own personifications, btw).

.

Hope this was helpful, and sorry I didn't get to cover them all in the post! x)

If inspiration hits me I might make another posts with the rest of the Nordics in the future. \^w^/

[protectingtulpas]

Okay so im an (now ex) anti-endo (i still feel uncomfortable around endos but i guess now that not valid) who discover that im an tulpa.

For more context im the host of a complex polyfrag DID system who always belive endos jist fake for attention and hurt the real system comunity (traumagenic systems) and im just "exist" since this year 2020 i got a blackout of 2 years until 2023 and what the rest of the system tell me when i ask was "you got a colapse and lock yourself in your room for two years and fall in dormancy, when you finally get out you was so confused that you split in the fragment youre now and Gaby and so you cannot remember what happen because of that and Miyamoto (an alter friend of mine) was the host for that time" i got not reason to doubt about it an they have no reason to lie, they say the same thing to all our friends and even to my girlfriend.

I was looking arround of some old papers and pdfs and i find out that they have a diary and it was pretty old and one page have my sigh but the date its supposed to be in the time i was locked and some other papers was the same or some alters mention me like if i was there like really there.

Then i finally discover a paper with the tittle "[My name] (oc lore)

And pretty detailed pages about the process of creation of a tulpa and a character itself and descriptions very accurated about my body and personality plus a background history that its exactly like my memorys and thing about my gender and sexuality also accurate (i get offended for that because i really struggle with that) and and alter called Axel/Alex who i know he exist because and romantic history of the system while i was out but i supposed he was just a fragment of another alter and i discover that he was one of the "original alters" (i mean the result of the first split) and he created me like A TULPA, he say in his notes that the rest of the system is traumagenic and he discover them in therapy but whatever it means we have traumagenic origins but as long as i know im THE ONLY TULPA/ENDOGENIC/WILLOWGENIC ALTER (HEADMATE???) And one of the few that are anti-endo (the big problem there is that were least than 5 and those alters are my friends (probably not anymore)

I really need help of a tulpa to understand this because i have so many cuestions about this and i dont have so many tulpa friends exactly and i guess i have to change my mindset and i was wonder i can have your help...

Oh wow, yeah this is a ton, thank you for reaching out for real! Sorry it took a hot sec to respond, I've been blocked from front a lot myself so I wanted to be in tune enough to give this the response it deserves.

Alrightie, so we have P-DID (we're mixed origin too), so we don't have as much dissociation as y'all, but we do have a bit of experience with host changes and people blacking out/going dormant for waay longer than expected, so that's where we're coming from here. Especially with memory barriers so high, host switches can be really disorienting and some pretty big things can be forgotten depending on the system. It sounds like during the time there was a big host switch, you got created by Axel/Alex, but due to u being affected by the inherent dissociative barriers of your system, you forgot your early memories of being created - as evidenced by things being signed by you and mentions of you that you don't remember, if I'm reading this correctly. That's a lot to take in, but it's good to have all this evidence you can bring up to your alters in a discussion about it if you're able. I know it's probably freaking you out, but just asking the alters that mention you/worked on you in the papers instead of accusing them will do a lot to help with resistance and all. I'm sure they had a good reason for not saying anything to you.

That brings me to my second point; if a good chunk of you are intensely anti-endo, there's a good chance your memories of your creation/origin are blocked behind dissociative barriers because that knowledge woulda been too much for your system to process and bare at the time. Make sure to consider that in what ya do- try not to dump all the pressure on yourself, if you put yourself into a spiral about all this or try to force your other alters to do a 180 it might end up counterproductive. You're their equal, don't ever forget that; take it slow and steady. Things'll end up alright. On the flipside of this, there's a reason you exist, and you were created because somebody (Axel/Alex?) WANTED you here, and that's important. You have just as much a right to be here, and it's not a bad thing that you exist or to challenge the collective opinion of how things work. That's what growing and changing is all about!!

You don't hafta jump full force into the endogenic community of course, take your time and don't overwhelm yourself. I think you'll enjoy a term we're extremely attached to: traumaendo systems are systems that experience both traumagenic and endogenic origins in one way or another, and the label is focused on the specific unique experiences we go through while straddling both worlds. Tulpamancy is particular is controversial because it started out as a separate community developing their own skills before coming into contact with the greater plural community, so you'll find that a lot of terms within it are different and stuff. Additionally, you'll probably run into a lotta controversies, specifically the infamous one about tulpamancy's etymological origin, so make sure to keep your head on your shoulders and put research and objectivity first. Don't forget that we've asked people actually of the culture about this, and that the etymological origin is of an open religion that encourages their meditations be shared and adapted. People will make up anything to try and keep us hated, but don't let it stop you. You're not hurting anyone by existing as u are.

And lastly? Take care of urself. There're a lot of little intricacies I can't predict because everything is different from system to system, but if you pay attention and work as a team with your alters, you'll start to see patterns and understand yourself more. You might find that you operate a bit differently than them, you might not, but regardless, there's no shame in your existence. If you have any more questions, go ahead and shoot me a DM privately- I'll see what I can do. Good luck out there, stay true to yourself

[madsims4finds]

Me when they canceled life by you:

I just KNEW there was something fishy. I was happy for the delays cause the game just looked undercooked and so the cancellation…was a surprise, I’m not gonna lie lol. But once the initial shock wore off, I just shook my head. It’s giving they didn’t want to suffer through another launch like Cities Skylines 2.

I’ve said from the beginning that Life By You did not look good. It did not have any practical features that I could see that would make gameplay enjoyable. No family play, empty world, and whenever a “human” went to work at apparently the only place hiring in town, the grocery store, it was like 2 other “humans” there. I mean those gameplay videos they were doing just got hard to watch. The game just seemed like it would be dead on arrival. And then on top of all that, a company like Paradox is releasing early access. Red flags all around. I wrote a dissertation I’m sure no one read, but there were too many things that I could see Paralives doing right that Life By You was doing wrong. Something as simple as being creative enough to come up with a name for these digital people. We have Zoi’s, we have Paras, we have Sims, and Life by You had…humans? How lazy is that? I get that it’s a life simulation game but there should still be some form of lore. Something that the world is grounded in. Something unique and immediately recognizable that makes the game stand out. And Life by You never had that. Their whole gimmick was “mod the game” how you like. But like I said before it was more about being able to deeply customize your game, not mod it. At least from what we were seeing. They made such a big deal about custom dialogue, story creator, color wheels, tailoring your characters personality to the most minute detail, etc. But they forgot to develop the rest of the game. At least that’s what it sounds like to me.

Devs are saying they were blindsided, which they probably were. I don’t think the game should have been canceled out right, but I think paradox’s impatience (since apparently it would “take too long” for the game to be done) probably stems from their desperate need for a win. And they knew Life by You wasn’t going to give them that. They did a great job of hyping up the community, enlisting every popular sim tuber they could, and I’m sure they would have made some sales. But I’m also sure the backlash for the state of the game would have been bigger. I mean seriously, look at older videos of Paralives and where they are now. And then look at Life by You.

Still sad that they shut down the whole studio and all those hard working folks lost their jobs. That part sucks. They should at least have been given the chance to make the game better. Smh.

I hope we’re able to see the other two projects to completion. Cause at the end of the day, the goal is to make sure EA no longer has a monopoly on this genre. The goal is NOT paying over $1200 in DLC for a $40, oh excuse me, now free to play game. Also can we stop charging for a game only to offer it for free later? Cause they sure ain’t giving refunds when that shit happens. 😭😤

Anyway, I’m rooting for everyone who’s not EA to be successful in their endeavors.

[babybabymerrychristmas]

anyways reading that long ass post i forgot to talk about the joe aspect of it all but honestly i was thinking about how everytime something happens in the taylor dating universe, there are like the same 4 types of posts I see being made about taylor swift and honestly its like okay

i feel this getting rambly so like okay the reason people care about taylor's dating life is because taylor uses her dating life to her advantage. Even that famous quote of hers about the different language prescribed to different genders betrays a truth about her business practices that is obvious to anyone who paid attention during 2023 to her dating life and the truth of the matter is, taylor swift has and always will use her dating life to her advantage.

since folklore, starting with seven, taylor has voiced a story arc of her learning to accept her desire for attention. famous people want to be famous for a reason and that reason at its base level is attention or money, usually both. taylor's music pre-pandemic is very good girl era of her and post-pandemic, she has been slowly making music that is more and more disagreeable with the general public. she is more and more willing to portray herself as the villain because after 9 or 10 failed relationships, you have to start doing serious introspection.

it's extremely unlikely that anyone would be the perfect victim whose only problem was that "they loved too earnestly" in every single relationship they've ever been in. and ttpd exposes a lot of what most of the fandom knows to be true but doesn't want to accept for some reason and that is that taylor swift DOES use her dating life to her advantage. i personally dont see anything wrong with that because like duh, so does literally every other famous person out there? so many musicians sing solely about their dating lives and its only a problem when women accept that this is how they stay relevant in the media.

and like a consequence of taylor using her dating life to her advantage is that those people become public discourse. I think there is a reason why she doesnt say much of anything about her relationship with joe on any of these albums but especially ttpd because i do think that although taylor uses her love life to her advantage, she doesnt do so maliciously and has serious conversations with people about how much they care about being private with their love life.

the way she treats the joe relationship has stayed pretty consistent and she has only ever touched upon what in that relationship made her emotionally cheat and then date ratty in ttpd and thats probably all she will ever be comfortable doing because she knows she doesnt have joe's consent for their relationship to be used for her business purposes. i can see part of the reason why we only really get songs about them falling in love on every album is because that's a generic enough type of song that it doesnt say much beyond basic details of how they met and how he made her feel supported.

and so much of this album is taylor trying to come to terms with the fact that SHE chose her life with joe just as much as he did with her, which is why she ends up at "we both did nothing wrong" and "we just didnt know how to love each other correctly" several times on the record because SHE is just as much to blame for choosing to change herself for love. SHE made the decision to change her strategy when it comes to romance to hold onto the idea of what she thought it'd be like to be with joe.

and it's just wild to me to expect the fandom to not have opinions on quotes given to the public from the figures themselves about their feelings on the matter. like, i cannot make it any clearer that if a celebrity doesnt want you to know something, you wouldn't.

[cerealandchoccymilk]

Trigun Bookclub: Trigun Vol.1, Chapter #07 (Part 2)

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I’m doing a deep-read of the Japanese original print (reread) and Overhaul 1.0 (first read) side-by-side, and writing down everything I notice from small details, version differences, translation differences, etc.

This one’s divided into two parts since it surpassed the desktop image limit of 30. whoops

Here are the ME BEING GAY panels:

And the rest is under the cut.

[link for if the images aren’t in horizontal rows]

This part is significantly more text- and analysis-heavy than Part 1.

I know this part isn't supposed to be funny but I can't get over the way they exchange glances. Kaito is just absolutely jaw-dropped. I can't tell if he's shocked by the fact that there were gang members where he didn't expect, or if he got scared by the fact that he heard the #1 thing you don't want an adult to say during an emergency.

Also... Vash raising his voice... hello..........

This angle of Kaito kind of reminds me of Gag Manga Biyori... (this really stupid '00s anime with like. Monty Python humor)(please tell me if you know of gag manga biyori. it's my entire childhood. i can quote so many bits)

In Japanese, Kaito's phrasing is more like "You've been missing vital organs on purpose!?"

Does Vash keep first aid on him at all times, in case of situations like this?

The nuance here is a bit different - Kaiyo says "However skilled your arm is... this is ridiculous!!" (real kids don't talk like that but. yk what i mean)

I forgot to transfer the Japanese annotations onto the English version... whoopsies

He's taken a hit...!! Despite having taken quite a lot of damage, he's still more worried about his enemies than he is of himself... Take care of yourself more......(second time saying this)

YAOI SHOULDERS He's so damn cool augh...

The "dame dane" in blue is because he says "baka mitai" lmao

I initially corrected this line (to "I probably look stupid, don't I?"), but it becomes redundant with what he says after this so I crossed it out.

This is the first (direct) connection between Vash, Rem, and the Big Fall. The space imagery is of course representative of the setting of the Big Fall and Vash's backstory, but it also shows the sheer scale of Vash's trauma and love for humanity. This will be expanded on in a bit.

Here you can also see the self-hatred that Vash has....

Rather than a matter of forgiveness, Vash says that he's "sure [Rem] would be saddened."

In the Japanese version, Kaito's echo of "She?" is in brackets/quotes.

More interspersed space imagery.

There's something about these occasional shots of space that *gets* me.... Vash's thought patterns, ideals/values, etc. vastly transcends anything of a regular human's, I think.

Most of what I want to say can be summarized into that. I probably have said this before and will say it many times in the future, but Vash's stubborn pacifism and determination is something that can only be achieved because he's inhuman. His physical abilities are ridiculous, either because he's a Plant or due to his training and long lifespan (or both), and he has experienced things far greater than anyone can imagine. No idea where I was going with this but...you get it.

I think the ガッ bubble on the top right is onomatopoea , possibly for the gunshot or the bullet hitting something? Vash's pose must be ridiculous here. I can only imagine how insane he would be at Twister. And he shot that guy's arm completely without looking too!? This guy's insane. like we knew that already but damn

Honestly I'm not smart enough to understand what the rest of these commands are saying, but I think they're referring to "the three teams" in the port passenger section, rather than "team 3".

We can see Vash's wound slowly getting to him...

Here's the only time we see Kaito's backstory!! It looks like after his father died, his mother left Kaito? Or she left her family for another man and his father died after that.... He ended up being homeless.... He either killed someone or found a body??? Is that the stepfather his mother ran off with??? NIGHTOW GIVE ME ANSWERS!!!

The scene...... I can't help but imagine where Vash thinks he falls in this. It's something he has been doing for the past however many years it's been since July, the century and a half since the Big Fall, or even [trimax vol.7] during his childhood. But I don't think he ever counts himself as deserving of this, to be on the recieving end of the forgiveness.

More weak Vash... It's just so rare to see Vash in such a state. no other reason im putting this here no sir this is purely analytical (←me when i lie)

The way this page's panels are arranged really highlight how slow each action is and that Vash is running out of energy, which I think is a neat detail.

And that's the end of my Japanese copy of Trigun Volume 1!! I wanted to do at least rough translation of the omake, but my Apple Pencil died (and this chapter had so many images) so the omake will be a separate post, probably all 3 at once.

The Japanese annotations for this chapter are reblogged from the Part 1 post. (There are less than 30 of those, so they're all in one reblog.)