#it's because i bring people joy lol

[doublegoblin]

DG i wanna say i love your voicework so much. i love your stuff. i came for the VOTV stuff ans stayed for the RW stuff admittedly do you plan on dioing anymore RW stuff................

omg so sweet thank you!

And yes I do, eventually. I have much more Five Pebbles Pearl Dialogue to record and what not, going to try out more of the echoes for funsies.

Got me a Blue Yeti for Christmas but I haven't had a chance to sit down to record anything as of late lol. Votv did steal a lot of my time with the logs...going to do that gain when .7 drops.

I'm just a little adhd bean who has more projects in his meat computer than time to do! Also decision overload is another big factor lol.

But yes, I will be making a return to doing silly RW stuff soon-ish.

I'll also say that I am completely open to people requesting me to do voices and what not. I want to start broadening my horizons and sometimes I just don't know what to do and fear people are getting sick of just five pebbles or or I start to feel like a one trick pony lol

Whoops looks like I got a little real there at the end.

Thank you for the kind words anon, and like, don't be afraid of saying nice things on your actual profile~ But that said, I get the anxiety and wanting the words to be the point and not who said it.

So yeah, if y'all want me to try and say funny things, make your way into my inbox and let me know, anon or otherwise! (I would prefer not anon so i know who to tag lol)

[thelingering]

brain tired from Latin so have an appreciation post for humanity

[camellia-thea]

initially this post had some commentary about interests right now. and then it turned into a ramble about personal healing in the tags. so the interest post is going separately.

[fobnsfwdoodles]

atrociously percieved by your recent Patrussy post that’s what my fucking bottom growth looks like atm (early days)

Yay!! That was the goal! I'd like for every follower of this blog to have at least one moment of looking at a feature and feeling seen

[spearxwind]

.

[silentalltheseyearsnomore]

In and out of constant crisis... to be expected. Its brutal. SO brutal.

There's a line though, where it is either pain being released and parts processing.. or just retraumatising. And the difference between what makes it one or the other can be so small! And usually to do with if we feel alone or not, connected to S or not, allowed to reach out or not.

Yet we are seeing we survive each time? And it passes. Same with S... we reconnect each time. She doesn't leave.

Today we made a huge leap! An email she sent landed badly. A part wrote a reply, not meanly at all (we never do that and are proud of our ability to communicate these days), but saying how it felt and how upset. But we didn't send... because we knew it wouldn't help. Its how they felt and it was real and valid. But she'd likely feel more defeated and stressed, then we'd feel more disconnected, and the same old cycle. (Also, we figured even IF it was intended how it felt.. we no longer beg for people to understand or care, and that has to be true for her too.) So we didn't send, and instead chose to trust our overall relationship instead of these moments and details.. and just turn up today as unguarded as humanly possible. Which was still hugely guarded lol.

It was SO hard to do. But I am so proud of us. And it went so well. It allowed us both to connect so much quicker and easier and see we are on the same side. We didn't hug her straight away like normal and just hid ourselves not looking at her, but as she started talking and we could hear there weren't bad intentions, we managed to lift a finger up and she reached for it and held our hand. And we were SO proud of us in that moment. It doesn't seem big. But for us it is huge. To be able to reach for connection without going through every detail of what hurt, ask a lot of questions, pick it all through, stay in defense... instead we just listened to how it felt right in that moment. And it allowed us to connect quicker. We made a new choice and it paid off.

She made a comment about us seeming to not want to be there, possibly hating her (kind of jokingly) and we realised that's how it may seem.. like to us it is OBVIOUS we never hate her, always want her. But then to her it is obvious how much she cares etc, and that doesn't mean we always see it. It softened so many protective parts and we looked up and we both smiled and we said of course we don't. It's just all painful. But the pain isn't from her, it's everything before her. And then cuddled in to her. It was so simple in that moment. We are on the same side.

And the whole session was so connecting and simple. Despite the fact we never talked through what happened earlier in the week really.. and despite it being one of the last sessions. It was just simple. The ending of therapy is terrifying but also helping us let go of details and see the big picture. She's SO on our side. We aren't on opposite sides. She's fighting a whole system for us. She's paying for her specialised supervisor she got just for us, even after we arent a client, to help us both through this transition and to help us fight the system as she's a very high up contact. She is thinking everything about this transition through so she doesnt rush things or make mistakes others did. She cares so much. So yeah, she's not perfect, she misses the mark, and she can't be everything we wish she could. But she is a human who wants us in her life and cares deeply and is fighting to get us the right support. We can get lost in all the pain or we can look at how lucky we are to have her.

[musicrunsthroughmysoul]

A controversial thought just occurred to me that I've tried to put into words many times now about my hero (Janis Joplin) and other musicians and people who died "tragically" (especially in a "self-inflicted" way), and that is: every time I see someone online, on Youtube or Facebook or wherever, say something (always unprompted/unrelated to what the video/photo/article/etc. is about) along the lines of, "What a waste of their talent/skill their death was," I think, What a waste their death was? What have you said of their life? Why do you only choose to comment on, and apparently highlight, their death? Did their life, and their accomplishments, and what they brought to the world while they were alive mean nothing to you? Have you not a SHRED of gratitude that they were alive at all?

I am quite sure that there is some sort of psychological explanation (and I say that with the confidence of only having a basic understanding of psychology) for why people focus particularly on people's (in this case, celebrities') "tragic" deaths, but is it not a tragedy in itself to reduce those people's lives to their deaths and the fact that they're dead? Why not appreciate what they were able to share with us while they were here? You know?

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

> posts a fic i'm proud of about dark subject matter to do with five and his abuse, which came from a very personal place, on AO3

> gets a comment

> it is, Course, a hate comment from an anti, demanding on anon to know why i would 'spend my value as a writer who's read Legacies' to write it

> roasts their ass like a thanksgiving turkey and immediately goes to write more of the thing

[purplebass]

good morning, which pair do you mean by the last post?

hi! I don't know if it can be considered "niche" but I meant blackdale mostly. The TLH fandom is a bit dead after cot and there there aren't many people writing fics for this fandom like in the 2020-2022 era. Even before cot, I was one of the few active blackdale writers in the fandom. So, in a way, I consider them a bit niche for this reason (maybe I'm wrong!). With tlh over, a lot of people moved on or left the fandom altogether, so it often feels like I'm writing for the few loyal readers who still love tlh and still look for content -- whether it be for blackdale or for any other tlh pairing. I see that a lot of tlh content in general doesn't get much engagement like it used to

[acetechne]

Alberta 4D, if possible? I'm starting to love this lil guy even more and more thanks to you :3

i am both flattered and somewhat confused because i basically exclusively draw bertie to make fun of him or to complain about [gestures at the State of Things] and I purposefully write him as over the top repressed entitled toxic asshole a solid 99% of the time - I'm glad that it's backfiring, really honestly, i am. (it does not help that entitled asshole is also my favourite character to write -shoves ancient city state ocs under the carpet-)

[fatuifucker]

I wanna finish my requests quickly because I know when I write a request I will never be happy with it lol with a request, the premise is so basic and simple that the most you can do is write drabbles or headcanons. Although it gains the most attention and most people prefer that to let's say 1k+ fics on Tumblr, I don't like those because it isn't a testament to my writing skill.

I personally don't like it when people praise my writing ability when talking about those drabbles or hcs because literally anyone can write those things, I just happen to be the one you found or who came up with that idea. Even if I died, you don't need me to write those things because literally anyone else and even you, yourself, can write those.

[reenaria]

currently having a queer identity crisis on this accursed holiday

[ikemenomegas]

the myy oc is simultaneously the one to make obnoxious little squeeing noises whenever megumi does literally anything and make tsumiki bring along disposable cameras on vacation because it's the only way to get her to admit what she's *actually* looking at, and the one to literally puke in the bushes or hide against a wall when Satoru does something that gives them secondhand embarrassment

literally the can't take it but can dish it out guardian XD

[biioniic-biiohazard]

((NOTE: i was going to keep this in tags but decided not to :3) this was such a common word and thing in 2000s to 2010s fandom spaces, especially anime fandom spaces. like you could not go to a convention or open deviantart or even tumblr without seeing at least one mention of the word- ''glomp me'' signs and shirts everywhere, cosplayers and internet friends running up to each other just to hug on sight at meets, artists online drawing and animating their ocs doing this with their friends' ocs or making bases of anime screenshots of characters doing the exact thing, getting dms and replies and comments with just a simple *glomps u* thrown in there. you would see such a specific kind of closeness and joy in these people, and frankly it upsets me deeply knowing it as a phrase and term in fandom ...is almost completely gone :( so yknow what! im glad you discovered this word! bring back glomping or whatever yknw? lets have more fun in fandom spaces and be silly together okay? :D

I just....I just learned that there's a word in the English language...for when you run into someone to hug them with all the enthusiasm and strength you have....I learned that it's called glomp.

My God, English has so many words to describe physical intimacy, I'm in love

[4ngelb4bie]

writing a birthday card and breaking down into tears bc u love ur friends so much

[mylols16]

making people happy is one of the greatest things ever like seeing someone smile is like the biggest serotonin boost but i think people (on the internet especially) don’t realize that like i dont know about you but seeing someone happy and knowing i’m the one that made them that way has always made me feel happier than being mean to people ever has maybe i’m just a chronic people please but i do believe that being nice brings so much more joy than being mean ever has