ancharan

[ancharan]

it was so funny when kristen schaal said ford could fix bill like. ford can barely keep himself out of the fucked up evil god mines and you want him to save bill cipher?

[ancharan]

lets finish that gd margarittabille pic

freedom is within our grasps

[ancharan]

Fill, the son of god

[ancharan]

The Rifleman, 1958

[ancharan]

So I haven't been able to stop thinking about @stump-not-found's Warlock Ford from Theseus' Guide to Ruining a Perfectly Good Boat and @ancharan's fic of how he forged his Journal from Addendum: How to Bind a Book. Plus with constant D&D brainrot, I was possessed to slave over meticulously making a character sheet for him over the past few nights:

The sheet is D&D 5e 2024 compliant with RAW so anyone can use this for a game being run with a level 10 party. Explanation of the sheet below.

For starters, while I usually like to roll for stats, I went with the standard array that way personal RNG isn't factored into his sheet. Obviously Intelligence would be his highest and I used every Feat given to boost the 17 up to 20. For awhile I was waffling on what his lowest stat would be between Charisma and Wisdom, but considering multiclass rules I had to have at least a 13 for Warlock to be viable. Then while I wish he had better Dexterity and Strength, Constitution is a high priority to make him both more durable and help with holding Concentration in battle.

I felt like he's around level 10 for an adventurer—not quite a god killer yet, but way past exploring novice goblin caves. His entire build is centered around his Journal where he not only logs research, but collects new spells, jots down his grocery list, and records his musings.

Since he's a very studious college graduate with multiple phds and a research grant, of course he started off as a Wizard. Order of Scribes seemed very fitting for one focused on journaling where he gets a Wizardly Quill that writes on anything, an Awakened Spellbook that lets you cast faster ritual spells and swap damage types on spells, and Manifest Mind that's a tiny spectral glowing Bill that Ford can see and cast spells through. For the most part, the wizard side is meant to represent all the knowledge that Ford has collected himself, which is why it's the higher level 6 class to be more prominent. He's a self-made man, damn it.

That being said, Ford also has 4 levels in Warlock where he can borrow Bill's power under their agreement. Pact of the Great Old One provides him with Awakened Mind where he can form telepathic connections with others, change spells to psychic damage, and cast more subtle illusion and enchantment spells (plus have some horror-themed spells always prepped, haha). Which is well and good, but the main focus is on his Eldritch Invocations. Pact of the Tome allows him to use his spellbook as his focus with some extra cantrips and ritual spells. Aspect of the Moon lets him no longer sleep at night (or be forced asleep), which I'm flavoring as Ford still sleeps but Bill possesses him to continue recording work or commit shenanigans (even if it's a half-possession). Then bonus Eldritch Mind gives him advantage on concentration spells so he can keep his train of thought when hit in combat.

Moving on to his background and race, nothing super special here. Human Scribe. Lots of skills, which I prioritized investigation and knowledge-based things. Medicine was waffling over, but he did know hormones to get for Dipper in the fic and knows enough about chemicals to possibly help with other drugs. Then I also gave him the Alert feat since Ford is always on his toes, no time to rest.

A friend of mine pointed out level 10 characters have more than just starting equipment, so I swapped out the starter staff with a crossbow, reflavored as a laser gun (there is a laser pistol stat block, but it required firearm proficiency I could't prioritize over Int and didn't have a cost association so requires GM approval to get—my advice is to get the Gunner feat at the next ability score increase). Ford can't go without a Bottle of Boundless Coffee. Must have. The Knave's Eye Patch was WAY too fitting as an item that restricts people from reading one's thoughts or determine if you're lying, and telepathic communication requires consent—plus he gets advantage on perception checks despite having one eye covered, lol. The other item I was gung-ho on including was Ford's regenerative healing machine he uses to patch wounds, but most healing items in D&D are consumables. So my solution was a Periapt of Wound Closure that helps the wearer with death saves so they're more difficult to kill, and doubles healing from short rests; since the regeneration machine is mostly used during down time in the fic, I thought it would be more fitting than an insta-heal. The massive 4k gold I wound up buying alchemist supplies, tinker's tools, a bag of holding, a portal compass, and a FUCKLOAD of spellscrolls to copy into his Journal as wizard spells.

Speaking of spells, Ford has so many I couldn't even fit all of them onto one section, much less one page. So he's got a lot of choices to choose from each morning (hence the drawing of him contemplating which spells to prep with Manifest Mind Bill). Choosing spells is always a lengthy process as I'm reading through each one trying to decide not only if it was a thematic spell for Ford, but if it would be practical in play. So it's a no-brainer he has a lot of utility in there with Mage Armor, Feather Fall, Identify, Detect Magic, and Counterspell (and lets be honest, he'd be the MOST smug mother fucker after casting that one). I've also got Arcane Lock to keep his things secure, Knock to unlock anything he wants into, and Rope Trick for him to have a miniature hide-away (possibly to pull small locked objects into to cast knock without alerting security). Plus Ford has some thematic attack spells such as Magic Missile for times he can't risk missing, Melf's Acid Arrow to break down walls, and Lightning Bolt for any enemies who chase him down a straight alleyway. For warlock spells Bill helps him out with Hexing enemies, holding them in place, and/or making them laugh so hard they fall prone with Hex, Hold Person, and Tasha's Hideous Laughter respectively.

I lost some sleep over forgetting a skill proficiency and woke up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat having forgotten some extra cantrips and ritual spells. But got those fixed this morning, so this is the final sheet! Overall I had a blast making this and hope you enjoy this nerdy number-crunchy character sheet 💛

[ancharan]

Hello and Welcome to 10 Years of BillFord!

With the anniversary of The Last Mabelcorn coming up on September 7th, we figured we would throw something together to commemorate the occasion. We encourage people to create art, fanfic, cosplay, animations, or whatever your heart desires to celebrate these two through every phase and facet of their relationship.

A proper list of rules/FAQ will be coming up shortly, but we wanted to release our prompts to give people enough time to prepare! We can't wait to see what you will create.

In the meantime, if you have any questions, our askbox is now open!

-Mod 💙

[ancharan]

Closing my eyes and screaming "waaaa!" while shooting a handgun but I have perfect accuracy and drop 6 targets then reload in 0.2 seconds and hit 6 more

[ancharan]

haters do not want you to know this but if you pick up something heavy every day it will eventually stop being quite as heavy. this is because the heavy thing, having witnessed your dedication, begins to yield its essence to you. and you, in turn, begin to absorb that essence into your own being. this is what makes people strong. the more essence you absorb, the stronger you become, and the more respect you command from the world around you.

[ancharan]

how I feel when I see that fucking espresso machine

original for context:

k now read @ancharan's stan bros coffee au stuff

[ancharan]

silly billy from stan bros coffee au for @ancharan

[ancharan]

[...]

[ancharan]

listen. i just like it when fics acknowledge the truth, okay. im crazy for it. theseus' guide, the y2k fic. sometimes? sometimes your uncle is evil. im here for the evil uncle rep.

[ancharan]

Underneath all the competence, the devices, the gun on his hip, the enthusiastic rope burn just under his collar (the kind that a person only gets from struggling for the thrill of it), there was something broken about him.

- The Y2K Problem, by Anon

So, uh.... have any of you guys read this fic?

[ancharan]

Underneath all the competence, the devices, the gun on his hip, the enthusiastic rope burn just under his collar (the kind that a person only gets from struggling for the thrill of it), there was something broken about him.

- The Y2K Problem, by Anon

So, uh.... have any of you guys read this fic?

[ancharan]

the y2k problem is one of those fics that i cant look directly at or think about for too long because if i do i start getting the Vapours™️

[ancharan]

Comic relief vs. plot device: the Stan twins’ roles in the narrative

Something I have started noticing in regards to Stan and Ford’s roles in the narrative: it’s not that one of them is treated more unfairly, per se, but that one of them is taken more seriously by it. That being Ford, of course.

This brings on him a great burden, I think, namely the fact that his choices almost always have greater consequences than Stan’s choices have—the latter are more often used as comic relief, instead of events capable of impacting the plot—but these twins are much more similar than most people would think.

An elaboration on that, with a few direct comparisons, under the cut.

You don’t need to have great observation powers to notice that Ford moves the plot. His character sometimes almost feels like an incarnate plot device, with his every action generating an important consequence.

In fact, his very purpose as a character was to cause a rift. According to Alex in his A Tale of Two Stans DVD commentary:

Ford is designed for what would bring out the most amount of conflict in the family. What would be Dipper’s hero, what would be Stan’s rival, and who’s somebody that we could empathize with everyone and their take and how they felt about it.

Even his personality was built off the impact his character had on Stan, according to Alex in his interview with HanaHyperfixates and ThatGFFan:

Ford was very much us building backwards. The same way you know a black hole is there by the light warped around it, it’s like, you know the damage someone’s family has done to them by all of their weird tics and behaviors. So who is the character who would result in Stan being this hurt and needy and mad and also longing?

Besides Ford’s role in the narrative, some people have pointed out before that Ford isn’t as likeable as Stan is—in the sense that Stan’s charisma protects him from the out-of-universe fallout of his actions. Simply put, the fandom loves his for something they would hate in Ford, because Ford doesn’t have Stan’s charm. I think this idea has some merit.

For example, this excerpt in Journal 3:

Ah, just Ford being haughty and considering himself superior to other people, am I right? Classic Ford.

Or not, seeing as Stan says the very same thing in the Hide Behind short episode, except in a way that sounds more funny than haughty.

I think this goes even further, though. Stan’s role as a more domestic comic relief has saved him many times, as there are lower stakes involved. He was the lovable Jerk With a Heart of Gold, funny and down-to-earth. Ford, on the other hand, was the Author of the Journals, an action hero, Bill’s main opposition, associated with the darker, weirder themes of the story. They represent very different themes in the narrative, almost contrary, despite always mirroring each other.

What else do we have?

Stan’s obvious favoristim towards Mabel, left especially obvious in the episode Carpet Diem. Not discussing here the reasons for its existence or how Filbrick might have influenced Stan’s views on gender and masculinity, but rather its portrayal and impact. In this exchange between him, Dipper, and Mabel, for example:

The projection of his own emotions onto Mabel, as the twin he related to the most, as evidenced in Little Gift Shop of Horrors:

Considering this exchange between Mabel and Waddles was in a story made up by Stan himself, it isn’t hard to see the inspiration behind it. The episode is often dismissed as non-canon (due to its hidden keyword being “noncanon”), but like I mentioned in a previous meta, even if the events in it didn’t actually happen, the characterization remains very much real.

Versus, of course, Ford’s favoritism towards Dipper, which is taken more seriously, and his projection onto him—as evidenced, for example, in Dipper and Mabel vs. the Future but also in Journal 3:

That brings enormous consequences to the plot as he acts on it beyond just mocking and bullying (Stan’s approach) and attempts to separate the twins—well, it just about brings Weirdmageddon on their heads, even if indirectly!

The point remains that if Ford owes Mabel any apologies for his treatment of her, the same can be said of Stan and his treatment of Dipper.

And, of course... the fact both of them were deceived and betrayed by con artists, again with very different stakes involved.

Stan says it himself, in the episode Roadside Attraction:

A line that seems to echo Ford’s own feelings about Bill, mentioned in The Last Mabelcorn:

Ford, of course, seems to think such a thing would never happen with Stan, as he explains in Weirdmageddon 3: Take Back the Falls:

But such a thing did happen with Stan, didn’t it? The difference is that when it happened with Stan, it was treated more as comic relief than anything. Was it about Stan’s sexist underestimation of women? Would Stan have been deceived by Bill if only Bill had boobs? Was Ford right about Stan identifying Bill as a threat, but not due to the reasons he was probably imagining? We’ll never know, since a clear parallel isn’t drawn between the two moments. Stan’s mistake isn’t given that much thought.

Sometimes, being the comic relief is detrimental to Stan as well. Not always, as he has the advantage of his mistakes usually not bringing as many consequences to the other characters and the plot (unless it’s a dramatic moment, of course, such as his stubbornness in Weirdmageddon). His life choices are a different story too, since life did suck for him, with Ford shoving in his face that he had ruined his own life in AToTS as the cherry on the top of the disaster ice cream. This is not to say Stan had it easy in the consequences department, especially as the writers loved to punish his low stakes cruelty with low stakes punishment in the lower stakes episodes. But Ford’s mistakes, in comparison, started up as putting the whole universe at risk, so even in screwing things up, Ford managed to surpass him. (Stan might have created a small rift by bringing Ford back, but Ford’s attitudes towards the kids were the catalyst to Bill’s apocalypse.)

Stan does end up as the butt of the joke more often, though, as you can see here, in the Lost Legends comics:

“One was a brave adventurer, the other was Stanley!”

Or here, with his insecurity and inferiority complex towards Ford being relentlessly mocked by Bill on the TBoB website:

And sure, that’s Bill, and Axolotl knows Bill is not respectful of Ford either (far from that), and Bill does hate Stan particularly, but I don’t think Ford’s own suffering had quite this undercurrent of... how do I put it... patheticness to it. If Ford had his own fears exposed like that, I imagine they would be slightly humourous and paranoid, since it’s Gravity Falls, but less ridiculous and more reasonable.

My conclusion is, simply put, that Ford is taken more seriously—for good and for bad.

[ancharan]

How To Draw A Horse - a comic by Emma Hunsinger