#it's already mid-january... ok

[buscandoelparaiso]

//

[dawnquafam]

.

[thisonelikesaliens]

editing original post here because i forgot a very important year (2011). edits in bold:

ok i think i have a better sense of the timeline now based on info i've gathered across various interviews

2007: Qian is (probably) around 13-14 when he "adopts" Yuan, who should be the same age as Lili (7). i don't think Yuan's age is ever clear since he didn't have any identification until the mob boss got him one

2011: episode 1, Qian is 17-18, we see adult Qian and little Yuan together in the hospital. this is when Qian gets that scar on his eyebrow (bandage on eyebrow). Yuan is nabbed later this year by mob boss sidekick Ah Hu (Tiger). the year Qian gets punctured lung while fighting to get out of the mob

2/9/2013: episode 1, Qian is around 19-20, Yuan and Lili are 13, based on their lunar new year convo where we find out people at Qian's age are already in second year of college and Yuan and Lili were in the same class until Yuan skipped straight to high school. Lili's actress plays through ages 13 through 23 and this is the first year we see her (edit: i'm assuming Lili just turned 13 maybe in January and Yuan turned 13 a month before)

mid-2016: Qian graduates college in 3 years

12/21/2017: Yuan turns 18

so i'm guessing episode 5 is happening sometime in 2018, before Taiwan legalized same sex marriage in 2019

eh this is what i have so far, not entirely sure how much time i need to bake in for mandatory military service

[ghostlychief]

Falling into Place

Pairing: Simon “Ghost” Riley x reader

wc: 1,600+

warnings: mentions and depictions of bruises from fighting; hurt/comfort; fluff

Summary: dancing with your big boyfie Ghost

AN: HELLO!! Ok, so i am a sucker for a slow dance scene, and i just had to write one with Ghost. This was inspired by @alienisticxo ‘s fic Before the Fever, and the last chapter was first of all, AMAZING, but secondly, it had a lovely dance scene between the Master Chief and oc (reader), and it inspired me to write a dance scene with Ghost. If you’re a fan of Halo or the Halo world/lore, I highly recommend checking out their fic!!

Also, I’ve decided that this is the Pockets of Peace couple, so do with that what you will lmao (but this doesn’t contribute to the main story line, just think of it as an extra drabble) You honestly could read it as a oneshot though, if you like. Ok, so yeah i think that’s about it and i hope you enjoy if you stumble across it.

-Lee <3

--

To say that this past week was brutal was an understatement. You were swamped at work in the beginning of the week with tasks, mainly completing an endless amount of workpapers, only to be thrown into a mission mid-week. Usually, you had more notice before you had to go on a mission, but every once in while, they would be sprung on you without warning. Definitely one of the downsides of the job.

If by some miraculous chance, you and Simon would get assigned to the same mission. This time, that wasn’t the case. Now, this mission wasn’t anything too serious nor dangerous, however, you did find yourself in countless hand-to-hand fights throughout, which left you with a series of bruises painting your body. The most noticeable, and unfortunately the worst ones, were found on your upper arm and shoulder, dotting your skin from your elbow to the beginning of your neck.

To the untrained eye, they look concerning -as in, “why aren’t you in a hospital right now?”- concerning. Nothing a little ice and TLC couldn’t fix. You were a seasoned professional after all, and part of the expertise that comes with the job is being able to mend your own wounds; you knew all the tricks.

The mission finished late Friday night, so when you were finally able to get back home, Simon was already asleep. Trying to be as quiet as you could, you took a shower and started icing your body, hoping that by tomorrow, the stains the bruises left wouldn’t be too gruesome.

You instantly felt the pain when you woke on Saturday, and you tried your hardest not to cry out. Luckily, Simon was on his morning jog, and you knew Saturday was his long route; he wouldn’t be back for a couple hours.

The events of the week seemed to have finally caught up with you. You were exhausted, sore, and heavily bruised. The bruises fully came to fruition, and they left a mess of red, green and purple hues, masking the true color of your skin beneath them.

A bath was needed, you decided. You drew yourself an elaborate bath, putting in all the bath salts and bombs you felt were necessary to help calm your nerves that sprouted from the week. You poured yourself a glass of wine, and put on a dewy face mask, the coolness of it felt amazing on your dry skin.

You don’t recall how long you soaked in the tub, all you know is that when you came out your fingers were as pruned as can be, and you didn’t feel your anxiety weighing down your chest, and you finally felt like you could breathe properly.

When you step out of the tub, you quickly dry off and do your lotion and skin care routine, taking extra caution around your injuries. You put on your favorite crop tank top, it’s sage green with a bow in the middle, and matching shorts. To cover your injuries, you slip on a darker, royal blue silk robe. You found this color always makes your complexion shine.

--

In the early evening, you find yourself sitting on the couch with Simon. It’s already dark out since it’s January, and there’s a steady rainfall outside, creating a calming atmosphere within your shared apartment.

Your legs are resting in his lap, and you both are reading, with soft sounds of music playing in the background, accompanying the raindrops. You’re still decked out in your pajamas and robe; Simon is in his signature black joggers and black t-shirt and you’re both snuggled under a warm, fleece blanket.

Suddenly, one of your favorite songs starts to play over the speakers; your ears perk and you close your book.

When you lift your legs from Simon’s lap, he glances over at you, but then proceeds to read his book. He feels you standing in front of him so he looks up from his book again, and there you are, just like he thought. Though, your hand is reaching out towards him, and you wear a sloppy smile on your face with your brows quirked.

“Wanna dance?”

Your question surprises him, and he just stares at you for a moment before responding, “Right now?”

You fight the urge to roll your eyes, and you shake your hand in front of him, “No. I meant when we go to my cousins wedding in March. Yes, right now.”

He actually rolls his eyes, but a shadow of a smile threatens to coat his lips and his warm hand engulfs yours as you drag him up from the couch. He’s now towering over you, and a familiar warmth spreads through your face, onto your cheeks. You never really grew used to the size difference between you and Simon.

“Do you even know how to dance?” He lets you lead him to the center of the living room, to give you both optimal space for dancing. His tone is curious, not at all mean or impatient, he was genuinely asking if you knew how to.

Shrugging you quip, “Not really, I was planning on just swaying, you know?”

He laughs at your indifference to the honed the skill that is dancing, and then he pulls you close to him, now taking the lead. One of his hands gently grasps your waist, and the other is still holding yours.

Smiling, he says, “Perfect, neither do I.”

You start dancing to the music, he’s leading you in a swift back and forth, side to side motion and to be honest, you guys aren’t doing too bad - for not really knowing how to waltz. Every one in awhile though, you accidentally step on his toes, but he pays no mind to it and just enjoys seeing you like this, content and happy in his arms.

Simon impresses you further when he spins you a few times, and you laugh each time you come crashing back into his chest on your return. While you guys were twirling around the room with little to no mind, the sleeve of your robe started to fall off your shoulder. It’s then, when your bruises start to show and you remember that Simon hasn’t seen them yet.

He knew about your mission and that you got in to a few fights, but this is the first time he’s seeing the aftermath it left on your body and he tries not to let his heart break too much at the sight. Regrettably, he can’t help it, and feels a pinch right in the center of his heart as he continues to look at your body, but he continues to lead you in your small dance around the living room.

Although the mood hasn’t turned somber, it certainly shifted into something more quiet, tender, and he slows down his movements.

The tenderness expands and is expressed explicitly when Simon leans down to kiss your shoulder where the bruises begins, he then trails his kisses down the expanse of your arm, and his lips trace over the bruises that have sprouted, and left a pattern of purple and red. As he’s kissing down your arm, you feel his hand that is still holding yours squeeze three times, a signal to you that he’s sorry this happened to you, and that he’s here for you now, to comfort you, protect you.

He leaves one last kiss on the top of your shoulder, then gently brings your robe back up to cover you.

When the song crests into its beautiful epiphany, you feel Simon’s eyes searching for yours. You glance up to find his already on you, intently studying your entire being. In that moment, you feel the same crest develop in your lower chest, making its way to your heart and you find it hard to express how you’re feeling in this delicate pocket of time you find yourself in with your lover.

The music continues to swell around you, seemingly sewing you shut into this small pocket of space you’ve both created, that just exists between the two of you. No one can find you hear, touch you, hear you. All that exists is what you and Simon have created in this moment.

He hums out an “I love you,” and you repeat it back.

You wrap your arms around his neck and lay your head on his chest. His head comes down to rest against yours, and every once in awhile, you feel a ghost of a kiss pressed to the crown of your head.

Now, both of his hands are holding your waist, as you both sway to the beat of the music.

You step on his toes again, and you lightly giggle out a sorry. You can’t see his small grin as he observes you because you’re looking down at your feet, trying your hardest not to step on him again.

His response to your apology is picking you up and placing you back down so that your feet are on top of his. It’s quite a silly position, but he continues to dance like this, swaying you back and forth, occasionally moving both of your legs with the movement of his feet.

It's a bit clumsy, but you love it. Even though you’re perched on top of Simon’s feet, he’s still astronomically taller than you, and you find yourself getting lost in him even more. Sounds of laughter fill your living room, occasionally drowning out the music.

You pick your head up from his chest to grin up at him, “We’re pretty good dancers, huh?”

He kisses your nose, “The best.”

--

Hope you enjoyed! <3

[generallemarc]

Let's not kid ourselves

Trump winning is not a good thing for American conservatism. Oh sure, there'll be some good stuff to point to. Taxes probably won't go up, and Biden's four years of liberal appointments will now be balanced out by four years of conservative ones. But remember who this man is. Remember that this is the man who sat by and watched as all 50 states ran the Constitution through a woodchipper during the pandemic. Remember that this is the man who only bothered slapping together a taskforce to deal with the massive spike in suicides from the lockdown four months after it had already happened(lockdown started in mid-March, task force was created in July). And remember how he keeps his promises-Obamacare was supposed to be repealed completely, then we were keeping a couple of the good parts, then he failed once and decided "ok, all the bad parts including the individual mandate stay law and I won't touch it for the rest of my term." The centerpiece of his first campaign, the wall, was something that was literally impossible because he'd never get the support, but he kept right on talking like we'd have a Great Wall of America across the whole of the border, and because he kept insisting on the wall the DHS never got most of the funds it needed for an overhaul because said funds were always tied up with the impossible wall. Also, don't forget that as a person this man is a jackass approaching LBJ proportions. Remember when he called John McCain a coward? The man who suffered torture at the hands of the North Vietnamese for years on end? Remember how he bragged about cheating on his wife? Yeah, the left tried to turn it into him confessing to rape on the Howard Stern Show, but when you pull back the left's lies you've still got a man bragging about how easy it is to cheat on your wife when you're a celebrity because all the women want you. I know we've had alot of those types as president in the past century, from JFK to LBJ to Warren Harding Bill Clinton to even FDR(albeit before his presidency), but "it's not so bad, we had tons of others who were terrible husbands" is hardly a defense or a thing to take comfort in.

If you think this blog is suddenly going to start celebrating the actions of the federal government come January, think again. As both a conservative and an autist I'll not change that easily-I intend to go right on with criticizing the bad and praising the good, and I fully expect more of the former than the latter on everything except China, which is something that was never really going to change no matter who won. Biden built on Trump's policies, which built on the last year or two of Obama's second term when he finally started realizing the truth of the threat they posed.

[hyunin]

every month of 2023!

got tagged by @strayklds to do the classic yearly wrap up of my most popular and/or favorite things i made this year and it's always fun so i will do both 💓 plus some commentary because i can't shut up. i'm going to do it on this acc instead of yangjeongin so i can tag my non-skz cc friends properly, but i'll include stuff from across all blogs 🥳

i'm not sure who got tagged to do this already and who didn't so i will just tag some pals/favorite ccs and anyone that sees this should feel free to do it and say i tagged them if u would like!

@foxinys @seo-changbinnies @miyawaki @wahgifs @twoce @dinoboos @agibbangs @xiaojuun @exocean @hyunsung @huiracha @seungs

putting everything under the cut let's go

JANUARY popular: slutty hyunchan. i get it. also didn't realize this got That many notes asdlfkasjdlgk favorite: 2022 mbc gayo hyunjin. i just thought my coloring was neat for this. first set of the year also!

FEBRUARY popular: wolfgang ending fairies. these are ugly idk what y'all were on about but okay it do just be like that sometimes favorite: yellow wood era hyunjin bday countdown set. this was in the top 3 of my fav sets from this countdown in general

MARCH popular: hyunjin's 2023 bday set. thank god. looking back at this is making me emotional actually just kidding it was this one. boooooo fine he's cute i get it. favorite: i had a ton of countdown sets this month and i liked a lot of them but in retrospect i think my fav is the christmas evel era one. shoutout to oddinary and in life too.

APRIL popular: this random hyunin set for some reason. ok favorite: dfesta the movie 12 set i guess. these were good hyunjins and april was a flop month for me lowkey

MAY popular: hyunjin just standing there at the one versace event. i still hate y'all for this favorite: i think the hyunjin maniac tour mini vlog actually. kinda surprising myself with this one but i just think it's very cute. makes me happie. maybe this one tho. idk. i like the coloring on these too. whatever! this month was kinda mid no standouts to me

JUNE popular: hyunjin doing That move in s-class. so true favorite: the introducing skz gifset of the era. not my best of these but still my fav this month

JULY popular: TAEMIN AND HYUNJIN DESERVEEEE favorite: maybe taemin and hyunjin as well bc it changed my life but hyunjin's cardboard cutout of chan is also a fav because it makes me laugh every time

AUGUST popular: hyunjin at kcon la. i get this too favorite: hyunin squish compilation. very important 2 me. but a rare main blog contribution, i love this eunbi set i made.

SEPTEMBER popular: we had multiple sets do numbers this month actually but precious nacific hyunjin wins somehow. i made this set so randomly but it be like that sometimes (2) favorite: 230908 hyunjin not even because i like the set that much but just because it's a hyunjin of all time and he deserves recognition

OCTOBER popular: angel rockstar trailer hyunjin. yeah favorite: i don't know guys. everything i made this month was so mid. nothing notable at all. so i'll agree w the people on rockstar trailer hyunjin

NOVEMBER popular: dramatic hyunjin. i don't like my coloring for this but he was so funny so i can accept it favorite: i think 231118 music core hyunjin?? i like the nine set i made for this day a lot as well bc i'm just obsessed w this look but i think i like the stage gifs better

DECEMBER (so far) popular: dancing sweaty hyunjin. y'all are so weird but i'm the one who giffed it so, favorite: hmmm i think the hyunin set just because they r so important to me and i had fun giffing it

thank u to everyone that read all of this and that liked and supported my content this year 🫶 looking forward to what 2024 brings <3

[whinlatter]

Any hint on when the next chapter is coming? cause IM SO EXCITED AND THIS NEEDS A COUNTDOWN !!! 🫶🏻

ok so! chapter 11! thank you sm for being excited! i'm excited, too!

i have had a few Qs in the inbox about when it's coming, so will give you the lay of the land here. basically i've got good news and bad news (depending on your perspective)...

the good news is - the plan is to share it next week at the latest, and possibly earlier, if i get the stuff done tomorrow that i'm hoping to. if the last chapter was the party, this chapter is the hangover, and it's all blowing up, babyyy. this chapter has some of my favourite scenes i've written in it, including some that have been written for absolutely ages, and it was an absolute treat to write it. the only reason it isn't out already is that i got cold feet about how well it worked as a standalone chapter having cut the original chapter ten in two and posting part one as chapter ten. i felt the part of the original chapter that became chapter 10 worked much better as a standalone chapter (including with a crescendo to a cliffhanger), but the remaining part needed a bit more shaping and restructuring if it was to work as a proper chapter in its own right. so since posting chapter 10 i've been rewriting and reshaping what was the second half of chapter 10/now chapter 11 so that it works better on its own. i think it's much better for it, and also has given me more space and breathing room to add some new scenes and develop others.

the bad news is - after i've posted chapter 11 i'm probably not going to be able to guarantee an update for chapter 12 until january. i've been updating with long chapters pretty regularly once a month since march, and i don't want to hang onto chapter 11 arbitrarily when it's basically done/just to post it mid-december to stick to schedule. but this does mean i won't be sharing another chapter (chapter 12) in december, in all likelihood. this is mostly because i've got a big real life phd dissertation full draft deadline at the end of the year (still amusing to me that in both my job and in my hobby i am just scrabbling to put together overdue chapters i misguidedly promised people), so want to make sure i can make that deadline while still keeping the beasts train moving. it does also mean that in the timeline of the fic, we'll be at new year as actual new year happens, which is sort of satisfying to me in its own way. i hope this is a good enough deal - chapter 11 early (and it's a meaty one too) as a trade-off for having to wait a little bit longer for chapter 12? that's the plan in my mind at the moment, anyway.

thank you for asking anon & thank you for being all aboard the beasts train. can't wait to share chapter 11 with you very soon! 🫶

[fractalkiss]

tierno (ferrari au) fic notes / commentary

i've tried a couple of times to start writing this post sooner and each time i've just stared at the blank grey space and just closed the text editor. and now it's mid-june. lol how has it been 2 months already since i posted this fic. but i will write this up since i do want to talk about it, belatedly, and it was born out of an au by a friend that i really had a lot of fun coming up with inspired by the lovely art.

concept

obviously this is all thanks to dave @penaltyboxboxbox. i distinctly remember looking at the piece and going 'WOW so cool! how would that work.' i moved along and went back to life. and then a week later i saw it reblogged again on the dash and got slapped in the face by the question. literally how would that work. how would it happen. i love canon divergence sooooo much btw even though i was worried about having to change the year in dave's work from 2017 to 2018 because lol, the fucking research threw me a curveball.

thought that this was going to be fernando pov because to upend and change his ferrari era from loser to championship winner with the red team, would be cool. and then i figured it couldn't work because i already knew what i wanted to happen anyway with him in the fic - that he'd retire after the championships, after ferrari just cannot keep up with the evolving changes in the sport over the years compared to their stronger contenders. retirement is all so anti-climactic and a given, so what the hell would even be interesting there lmao. it would feel like a weird fix-it and i have never done a fix-it fic in my life. let flaws be flaws etc.

so then i started writing this in lance pov, and told myself that this would just be me exploring how would lance be like in a team without his father's direct influence and hold. i say direct, because i'm always reminded of the rumours that lawrence funded some part of fernando's career as well while he was in ferrari, but don't quote me on that those are just (believable and unsurprising) rumours.

process

started writing this early january. and then i did not touch the wip at all or write anything for about 3 weeks in february?? i spent so long just casually trawling for research in between writing the first few scenes because i had not figured out what would be the conflict yet. i asked a couple of friends to read over some of what i had, just to help me point out any blind spots. sometimes i still can't tell how my tone comes off in early draft stages. i kind of knew what i wanted to do with it, i just didn't know yet how to execute it.

thing that never fails to surprise me about writing is that whatever i think would be so fun and exciting to do would STILL turn out to be excruciating and difficult on some days. i think i've made about 6 versions of the draft. i love research and i LOVED that this gave me an opportunity to dig into more things, but at some point, the research felt like too much, but i managed to spread it out in a digestible way in the story. it's challenging to glean what you can from actual canon to use in a fic without it sounding trite or boring, like some mechanical retelling.

ANYWAY. by the time i'd written the 2016 party scene where lance and his gf were eavesdropping on fernando having sex with not-linda, i still had no fucking idea what a good narrative here would be. i was distracting myself by making the playlist, and choosing to just move around parts of the wip here and there in the doc aimlessly just to see some things and hope that i'd figure it out. to put it simply: fernando wins a few championships (stared at some of the details in dave's art, and got tickled at the cards and their numbers) then retires. ok. and lance would eventually move on from ferrari, which he will at some point if they don't give his seat to someone else, but he'd have his father to fall back on so ok. how boring.

and then i realized, hold on, that SUCKS actually. that would kind of be a huge fucking bummer if you were already finally living out a childhood dream with the team almost every racing driver dreamt of. huge bummer when your big fat crush retires as well after a harrowing but magical year of finally getting the validation you wanted.

there's something devastating about how quickly athletes are forced to grow up, and with lance, the issue is both obvious but also it's complicated. it's not as if he doesn't possess any autonomy to make his own decisions, but there's a certain agency you're not entirely granted with when you do something with a parent, no matter how loving and giving that parent is to you. lance is like...the schrodinger's cat of an adult but i could say the same about all of these men and people born into wealthy privilege, or people who could never just bear to cut off their parents, to some extent. of course it's fernando who has to tell lance this in the story: "I will tell you something your father won't. You are upset because you know now what it feels like, to have people support you and your racing ability without him."

also something really devastating about how family is just a self-fulfilling prophecy. i love that word, self-fulfilling. i think it's tragic and i do think everything about ferrari is tragicomedy so it goes hand in hand.

this is why i also think andrea stella and fernando's driver-engineer relationship is compelling: fernando has everything he should have to win, except the one thing they can't grant him. but he thinks he should be grateful to be in the team, and he's teetered back and forth between demanding everything he should have and not wanting to fuck things up when he's fighting for championships, so he clings on to the belief that ferrari seems to carry, that ferrari makes you feel, and you can hear the trust in andrea stella's radio messages to fernando that i (and plenty of others) believed was kind and steady and almost nurturing to fernando in getting the most of the car and helping to fine-tune his strengths as a driver amidst the pressure. you can't truly say that luca baldisserri following lance to williams after the fda was even close to a similar parallel done entirely out of devotion, but i'd like to think it was duty, on luca's part. plus, if engineering young racers' wins in junior series gets you a nice salary from their dads, why not.

highlights of finishing this fic were:

getting to see beautiful and harrowing fanart of the fic by dave.

writing and getting to share the research and lore i gathered in this post. first time actually trying to put something like this together, and it was so fun... i love putting in my little captions under photos and adding in sources.

some of my fave lines from the fic:

"Thanks. You too," Lance replied, and Fernando's smile crooked up into a real one, sharp enough that it fish-hooked a fresh wave of fascination in Lance's stomach. Perfect teeth, Lance thought to himself as he ran his tongue along the back of his own.

There's a saying that Fernando's mother taught Edoardo. The saying is Spanish, Edo's words lilting in a thin curl that Lance had to lean forward a bit to hear it again: La cabra tira al monte. The goat always takes to the mountains, which then means that you can hold down the goat in a pen but that won't change where it came from. "Fernando has always been who he is, and his heart, always up in the real mountains of his home," Edoardo said, raised his glass of lemonade in mock salute, and Fernando silently flicked a card at Edo's direction across the birch table almost childishly. That race weekend in Montreal, the weather stays the same, as clear and beautiful outside as it had been all week.

Lance stops idly rolling the pen he's been holding, a habit he'd gained from writing the confidence mantra they'd made him do at the academy. "Well. Can't beat a dead horse." "Beat, what?" "Luca was done here," says Lance, shifting in his seat. "So I'm saying that it's pointless because uh, the horse is dead and you can't like, get it to move." He makes a whipping motion with his hand.

As a teenager, Fernando had Ayrton Senna's picture stuck on the inside of his closet above his racing gear. For all of Lance's responses to the obligatory interview question that asked who his favourite driver was, he never had Fernando's picture up in his bedroom. Didn't exactly need it when Fernando's been around for years now, coming and going at Dad's invitations in the warmest season like object permanence developed through red-toned photos of a memory.

i love the theory of object permanence so much btw!! just saying.

writing anything new lately has been um...well. i thought i could do it again last week, but it turns out i'm still not fully back into it yet. and that's fine. i signed up for a fest (non-motorsport fandom) so...pray that it will help me kill the fears. guess i'll also go back to my attempts for other fic ideas, we will get through this. i'm trying to write more intentionally, less reactionary, so i guess if that means putting out less things then this is positive at least. hope i have fun along the way is all!

[hypersomniagame]

HYPERSOMNIA MAY DEV LOG : “COOKIN' IN THE KITCHEN”

Hi! For all of you who follow HYPERSOMNIA, you should already know what the gist is here yada yada yada,

if you don't know what this is or are confused on what hypersomnia is read the other dev logs i've said this like every time lol

Hey! Hi! Hello! Welcome to the dev log!

I'd like to apologize about last month, I was going through a big block on development and I got practically nothing done. I've also been focusing on real life stuff which has been strange!

OK! So, first things first. Some of you might've seen on our Twitter, the new trailer is DONE! It's been "finished" for a few weeks now but I went back and made some small edits and now I can fully say it's complete!

I'm insanely happy with how this one came out. I went all out on it and I think you guys will agree when it releases that it just completely blows all our other trailers right out of the water. From music, to editing, to visuals, presentation, everything.

I'm more than excited to show you guys this trailer, and hopefully you all will be able to see it soon! It'll be premiering in this years MOTHER DIRECT (as always lol), so be ready for that! Tons of great fangames and indies are gonna be shown off, along with other MOTHER projects, so if you're interested I highly suggest you keep up with M4E.

Now, onto a more direct game update!

As of right now, the demo is about 50% playable!

This month has been almost exclusively eventing and scripting for the game. That 50% doesn't mean the demo is halfway finished, but it means that we're halfway there to getting the demo playable from start to finish. There's still a lot I gotta do, but eventing is the biggest hurdle for me currently, so it should only be up from here.

Also,

Pigeonville got a bit of a makeover recently! I wanted to make the town look a bit more lively and urban, so I took the time to redo and add a few different buildings. I'm really happy with how it changed the look of the town, and I hope to use this as a base for other areas going forward.

This didn't come without some challenge though. Both the game's prologue and first chapter take place in Pigeonville, and because so many different events are used between the 2 sections, I've had PV split between 2 maps, one for the prologue and the other for chapter 1.

I initially did these edits on the CH1 version of the map, but while porting them to the PL version, I managed to completely screw up almost all the events in the prologue. So while it didn't have to be completely rescripted, I did have to do some playtesting for like a week just to make sure I caught everything that broke.

-

Speaking of bugs, there's been a bit of bug-squashing going on this month. My friend Muffins (Who helps write for the game) and I both sat down and tried to just play through what we have so far, and it was an experience to say the least. The game was NOT this broken in March, so playing through it just showed me so much stuff that broke, and some of it was absolutely hilarious.

I didn't record any of it though! Which is a shame! I'd totally post a montage or something of just the absolute funniest glitches we encountered but I guess it's for another time.

And that's all for this month! Sorry it's not much, but I figured it'd be better to give some sort of update then just oddly go silent. Things will most likely pick up during the mid-summer months, I'll have more stuff to talk about, these logs will be longer like they were back in January and we'll all be home on time for Jay Leno.

It's a bit hard to talk about scripting stuff out for the game since I only can talk about so much before I start spoiling stuff. Will June be better? Will there even be a log in June? Will I survive the summer heat? Only time can tell. And the weather man.

If this is your first log you're reading, or even your first time seeing ANYTHING relating to HYPERSOMNIA, I got a whole bunch of links for you to check out if you wanna know more about me and my stupid little game.

TWITTER

YOUTUBE

STEAM

UNIQUE INDIE RPG'S [SHOW US YOUR GAME!]

[PREV] [ABOUT HYPERSOMNIA] [NEXT]

[umazane-muesli]

Jukebox January Day 12

I missed a few days again, but honestly most of the ideas I had for J and K were kind of mid, so I made this one instead. And would you look at that, I'm not late?? Crazy

So here we go, songs beginning with L:

Laisse toi tranquille - Malo'

I first heard about this artist randomly on the radio, and I really like this upbeat, uplifting song. It reminds me to breathe and "leave myself alone".

Little by Little - Oasis

I was obsessed with this song as a young teenager, I don't know why. I didn't really speak English that well at the time, and I remember painstakingly trying to "decode" this song (and others) with what I had.

Laugh track - The National feat. Phoebe Bridgers

Sad bitch no.1 and sad bitch no. 2, oh no, what will they create

But more seriously, it's nice to do this game because it makes me rummage around my Spotify library, and sometimes I find a bunch of new stuff. I had completely missed that the National had a new album, and I really like this song.

Lift You Up - LÉON

I have been listening to the album "Circles" a lot recently, and I think this is my favourite song on it. I love Léon's beautiful, slightly low voice, and the calm vibes.

Lights - Archive

Ok, this one is slightly weirder, it's 18 minutes long, but I'm really attached to it. I first heard it in a play (called Immortels) a long time ago and it kind of stuck with me.

The Legend of Oisín - Colm Mac Con Iomaire

Honestly I'd recommend the whole album, but we've already done the letter A, so let's start with this song. I first heard about this artist in a book of all places. He makes instrumental music, influenced by traditional Irish music but more orchestral, and more modern I guess. The songs have double titles, in Irish and in English, and they're really good if you're looking for some really nice calming instrumental music.

London Calling - The Clash

🤪

(I do actually really like this song lol)

Lonely bones - dodie

I think dodie's music has only become better and better with time, this is one of her most recent songs and I love it so much. I can never resist a good waltz.

The Loneliest - Måneskin

Have you guessed yet that I love an overdramatic rock ballad? I love an overdramatic rock ballad.

I am also adding an album this time: : La ley innata - Extremoduro

Extremoduro's discography is pretty extensive so I don't really know all of their music, but I absolutely love this album. It's really best listened to as a whole (and in order), as the songs form "movements", and blend into each other (always something I love) and make a sort of cohesive piece. It starts very calm, and goes up and down in intensity, and has some banging guitar solos and cool rythm changes in the middle. I'm going to be honest though, even though I speak Spanish (more or less), I have no idea what the songs are about, I'm just vibing.

And a few bonus ones, because there's a lot of songs I like beginning with L:

Led s severa - Big Foot Mama (with or without distortion, your choice)

Lola - The Kinks

Long Time - Blondie

Light It Up - Pegasus

Loud Pipes - Ratatat

Like A Prayer - Madonna

Llévame muy lejos - Amaral

The Lobster - The Gloaming

Landslide - Fleetwood Mac

Let Me Go - Mared

Ledena - Siddharta

[ransomnote]

RANSOMNOTE'S TOP 10 ALBUMS OF 2023

this year was, despite everything, an incredible year for music. i haven't had a top 10 AOTY list this stacked since i started making lists. this is my comprehensive list of albums from this year i think everyone should listen to. there are some well known picks on here as well as some more obscure choices that nevertheless blew my face clean off.

10. Voir Dire - Earl Sweatshirt, The Alchemist

earl sweatshirt has never once disappointed me honestly. the production combined with the lyrics and the way this album flows is comforting yet confrontational and everything i've come to expect from ES. my only critique is that i wish there was more variety with regards to the speed of the songs themselves. that being said, the hypnotic nature of the sound can hold its own.

rate: 8/10

fave track: mancala (feat. vince staples)

9. PUNK TACTICS - Joey Valence & Brae

this album is hard to describe as anything other than really fucking fun. like have you ever seen, watched, or listened to a piece of art and felt in your soul that the people who made is had the time of their lives making it? that's punk tactics. these two bring the sound of 80s-90s east coast alt hip hop into 2023 in a way that doesn't feel like they're just rehashing the sound of beastie boys. i can't wait to see what else comes out of these two. that being said, i worry that a few of the samples utilizing memes popular between january-august 2023 are going to date this album.

rate: 8.3/10

fave track: STARTAFIGHT

8. everything is alive - Slowdive

so. with a track record like theirs, there was no way slowdive was going to put out something bad. and i was right! they didn't! though i still prefer their 90s albums a bit more probably solely based on nostalgia, this album is a fascinating and beautiful translation of their signature slowcore style into 2023. these musicians and their sound have evolved so much, and this album is a reflection of that growth. for critiques, i would say i don't find myself revisiting this album as much as i do slowdive's other work, and i'm not sure why. maybe its just me.

rate: 8.4/10

fave track: the slab

7. HELLMODE - Jeff Rosenstock

jeff rosenstock is known for exploring different genres, from punk to folk to metal to indie rock to ska. this album does that in a way i've never heard from him before. this album switches genres not just between songs, but mid-song sometimes. it keeps you on your toes for sure, but manages to sound cohesive and like it belongs together. to put it lightly, it's great. i was really worried with how he was going to follow up no dream/ska dream, and those fears have been effectively proven wrong. the only thing i would really change about this album is the track order, but that's so nitpicky i don't feel like getting into it.

rate: 8.6/10

fave track: LIKED U BETTER

6. SCARING THE HOES - JPEGMAFIA, Danny Brown

before i say anything else: peggy and danny brown hip hop duo of the year. i am not debating that with anyone. ok now we can start. oh my god this album. it's not exactly controversial to say that 2023 was one of the best years for experimental and alternative rap and hip hop on record, and i think this album shows all of that. the best part of this album in my opinion (though almost every aspect of it is a standout) is the sampling. i have never in my life heard sampling innovated like this. these two have turned what was already an art form into something almost like a sport. i don't have a critique as much as i have advice: develop this. don't let it stagnate here. these two are on the cusp of genre revolutionizing shit.

rate: 8.8/10

fave track: garbage pale kids

5. Appearance - peopling

i feel like i have to explain this album. have you ever played electric guitar or any instrument that gets run through an amp and heard it pick up radio waves traveling through the air while plugged in? this album does that intentionally. which. ok let me pick the pieces of my skull off the floor. this album makes me feel like i'm listening to ghosts talking, and in a way, i am. i don't know what to critique about it because i've never heard anything like it in my life. please go listen to this.

rate: 9/10

fave track: cRIPpLinG dEBt PArTy

4. Javelin - Sufjan Stevens

this is such an instant classic sufjan stevens album. i love it. i don't have a lot to say beyond that because i feel like you could take any sufjan stevens album, pick out what's so great about it, and copy and paste that for every album of his. that being said, it's not stale. there's a distinct fairytale sound that's distinct from the ethereal sound of earlier projects that gets combined with a healthy dose of warranted cynicism given how rough this year has been for stevens. go cry to this.

rate: 9.3/10

fave track: tie between shit talk and javelin (to have and to hold)

3. This Is Why - Paramore

after after laughter in 2017, my only question for paramore was "how are they going to top this?" the band certainly took their sweet time answering that question, but with what we got, i can't complain. hayley williams is, as always, a complete powerhouse, but that didn't need to be said. you can tell how much new wave, specifically the likes of talking heads, influenced the artistic direction of this album. it's a new sound for paramore, a band that refuses to stagnate it seems, and i can't get enough of it. i don't yearn for old paramore the same way i yearn for, say, old fall out boy or old green day because their new stuff is just. better. i don't want to hear a scene veteran yap about how nostalgia is what keeps the bills paid ever again.

rate: 9.4/10

fave track: you first

2. Fat Chance - Mr. Phylzzz

i had never heard of this band before my friend trixie and i made the last minute decision to see them live opening for the melvins and boris. their set consisted mainly of songs off this album, and what a fucking set it was. i enjoyed them more than both the acts that followed. this duo has an intense stage presence on par with groups like mcr and death grips, and that translates into their music even when it's not live. this is 2023 post-hardcore punk perfection that makes you feel like you're being chased by dogs. with guns. gundogs. seriously, if i put you on to one band with this post, i hope its them.

rate: 9.7/10

fave track: tie between dirty hands and insisting

1. Census Designated - Jane Remover

coming out of nowhere with the steel chair at the end of october, this album makes me feel things that i can't classify as normal. i will never be normal about this album. ever. it's cemented itself as not just my album of the year, but as one of my favorite albums of all time. the pushing of her already so solid hyperpop sound into grunge territory is. i can't describe it as anything other than insane. this album demands your attention while simultaneously making a point to demand nothing. it's as contemporary and 2023 as it gets, and yet i think it's going to age beautifully. this is, without a doubt in my mind, the best album of 2023. listen to it before i lose my mind.

rate: 10/10

fave track: fling

well! that wraps it up! i'm going into 2024 with my standards set high. let me know if you think i snubbed or overlooked anyone! when the world is the most turbulent, the greatest art gets made. heres to a more peaceful 2024 and free that motherfucking palestine <3

[songofsaraneth]

ok i finally realized i FORGOT to actually post any update here about Kazul's tank upgrade whoops! It has been a whole Saga. Mostly because the guy I buy tanks from took (Boaphile) his website offline in 2021 just as I was ready to place an order... i thought maybe he was just updating it (since it looked like it was last revamped in perhaps 1995), but after 6 months, it was STILL offline.

So I did what any normal, hinged person would do and used the wayback machine to get to the archived version to track down his phone number and call him. Turns out he wasn't dead but he DID have to have rotator cuff surgery so said he wouldn't be able to make tanks again until summer 2022 at the earliest. I'd been hoping for earlier but Kazul was still under 6ft so I was like ok fine. Well September 2022 the website finally started coming back online in bits and pieces (while now more modern i would not actually say it is more Functional, and there are still now Lorem Ipsum text blocks here and there, but whatever). Spring 2023 the banner that things were under construction finally disappeared and I placed my order!!

At the time the advertised wait time was 12 weeks. I checked back in June, and there was another banner saying they were flooded with orders so had temporarily closed them to catch up. Ok, sure, running behind. August comes around and I'm like ok I should have an update by now at least and played phone tag for a few weeks... and eventually discovered that my order had gotten lost along the line somewhere (as in the printer paper with my tank details on it telling them what to build, not a whole tank lost in the mail). Sooooo i got put at the start of the queue for the next batch and FINALLY it shipped and arrived at the end of November. To compare the first order I placed took pretty much exactly 10 weeks back in 2017 so I do think this was just bad timing and fluke. However... they forgot to include the thermostat i also bought :| So I had to wait another 2 weeks for that to ship out to me too.

ANYWAY. I finally got it in mid December, but didn't want to throw a whole new section on the week before i left to visit family for the holidays. So I didn't set everything up til January. I'll put all those pics in another post because this one is already long and not that interesting but I shall keep the timeline on record here in case I need to reference it ever. Here's a pic of her though because why not :3

[todayisafridaynight]

ok yea but don't forget about what daigo did in yakuza 4. how could he throw away his most valuable officer like that? he made such terrible decisions there. he was not a good choice and kiryu should have known better. (i am not prev anon btw but i do agree with them)

i didnt forget: i make fun of him every other day for it actually. His Widow Era, i dub it

but in all seriousness i never said daigo was perfect or the "perfect choice"- every time i defend him i emphasize that he isn't perfect and more or less joke about yayoi being chairwoman. but i don't intend to make him seem perfect- i just want to say he's not totally helpless and he didn't run the tojo into the ground like people seem to believe. daigo making one fuck up that got resolved in a week isn't fair enough grounds to brand him a failure for his twelve years of service

plus, who else was kiryu supposed to choose? we already went over how kashiwagi isn't the kind of man to lead people- guide, sure- but not lead. and majima surely didn't want to lead the tojo, he hardly even wanted to be there. kiryu made it clear his options were exhausted and anyone but daigo would be an irresponsible choice (and that was made evident with the likes of shindo running around). again, it was a gamble, and luckily daigo managed to work things out despite his inexperience and hasty inauguration

BUT this ask has inspired me to make a general timeline of daigo's career complete with W's, L's, and things totally out of his control so we can all come to our own conclusions on whether he was cringe fail or not

text version below, left to right:

(Post-Y2) Daigo's Inauguration - January, 2007

Peace Period - January 2007 to March 2009 (2 years, 2 months)

(Y3) Daigo is shot in an attempt to protect Kazuma Kiryu's land - March, 2009

Peace Period - March 2009 to March 2010 (1 year)

(Y4) Daigo is cornered by Isao Katsuragi and the police - March 2010

Peace Period - March 2010 to December 2012 (2 years, 9 months)

(Y5) Daigo slips from the Tojo to visit Tatsuo Shinada and causes a potential rift between the Tojo and the Yamagasa family - December, 2012

(Post-Y5) Daigo resolves the tension between the Yamagasa family and the Tojo Clan - December, 2012

Peace Period - December 2012 to 2015 (3 years)

(Pre-Y6) Daigo, alongside Goro Majima, are framed and arrested for the fire in Little Asia - 2015 to January 2017 (~2 years)

(Post-Y6) Daigo and co. are released from prison, deciding not to get revenge for Kiryu's sake - January, 2017

Peace Period - January 2017 to Late 2017 (~1 year)

(Pre-Y7) The Tojo Clan is pushed out of Kamurocho as a part f the Kamurocho 3K Plan (Late 2017)

Daigo, Saejima, and Majima are forced into hiding - Late 2017 to Mid 2019 (~2 years)

(Y7) Daigo and Masaru Watase put an end to the yakuza and go legit as a security company - Mid 2019

[faxxmachine]

Huh.

The Gariwerd calendar describes six seasons in the south (specifically the Grampians area in Victoria, but applicable in the Melbourne & metro areas too):

Kooyang: Late summer — January through March

Gwangal moronn: Autumn — March through May

Chunnup: Winter — May through July

Larneuk: Pre-spring — July through August

Petyan: Spring — September through November

Ballambar: Early summer — November through January

Winter is definitely already here come June 1 and the cherry blossoms are already out in the middle of August. Some years Summer does get well underway mid November and anyone here in March would be surprised to be told it’s Autumn.

Love the concept of pre-Spring. I always felt that, even though it was still chilly, the land was waking up again only a little into August, unfurling like a fern frond. Similarly I find May and June to feel acutely winterish and bitter, the worst part of that season where it’s hard to muster energy and you feel like you’re hurtling toward a narrowing point of darkness, as if the solstice is going to be permanent. That’s on Thursday. Then we start moving back toward the sun. If I can make it through July to pre-Spring, I’ll be ok. 

[incorrectgallaghergirlsquotes]

Oohh ok um number 3? Something with the older generation?

3. People Watching by Conan Gray 

The couple in the song always makes me think of Cammie and Zach but the song isn’t about the couple. It’s about the narrator watching them. So, I’m so glad you requested the older generation. (I was not expecting this to be so long, I'm so sorry.) *All wrapped posts will be backed up on Ao3**Yes you can still submit numbers*

Joseph Solomon was a cynic. 

To be fair Joseph Solomon was many things. Secretive. Loyal. Intense.  

There were many things he wasn’t as well. Rash. Carefree. Romantic. 

He’d never seen the point in romance or sentimentalism. Granted, he was willing to admit it may have just been nothing had ever possessed him to feel those things. He had nothing to be sentimental about. And romance? Sweet nothings were an oxymoron, and flowers wilted and died. 

He’d said that out loud once. The response he’d gotten was unexpected. 

“You know,” Matt said, chuckling. “So do we. Don’t tell me there’s no point in living because we’ll wilt and die eventually.” 

Because Matt wasn’t a cynic. He never had been. Which is why it made so much sense to Joe when he watched his best friend get into a serious relationship. It was one of those things where he and Matt hadn’t seen one another in a while. Matt told Joe he had a girlfriend but hadn’t introduced them yet. Finally, they find themselves in the same place and, while Joe was looking around the room for Matt, he spotted someone. It was brief, really not a big deal, she was just the only person in the room that drew his attention. The only person worth doing a double take to see. 

So, of course, a few minutes later Matt approached Joe with the woman on his arm. And who would be a cynic with Rachel Cameron by their side? 

Joe supposed it had been a slow, gradual change. That would make sense. Really, though, it felt like everything hit him at once on a random Monday in January. The three of them were together and Matt had just made an awful joke. Joe rolled his eyes, but Matt wasn’t looking at him. He was looking at Rachel. Because Rachel was laughing so hard both men could see tears form in her eyes. 

“Geez, Rachel,” Joe teased her when she calmed down. “You’re gonna give him such a big ego.” 

Matt punched him in the arm. “What, you mean like you?” 

Joe smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. He looked down at the drink in his hand. “How long have you two been together now?” 

“Four years,” Rachel answered. “Or, if we’re being technical-,” 

“She loves to be technical.” Matt interrupted.  

“Almost 49 months.” Rachel finished, ignoring him except for the smile at the corners of her mouth. 

“Yep,” Matt said, sitting forward. “Which means this is the fourth Christmas we’ve spent like this,” he gestured around them to all the lights and decorations Rachel had put up in their apartment. 

Rachel narrowed her eyes at him. “Like what?” Matt tried to shake his head, but Rachel was already up, prodding him. “No, no. Say it, Matthew. Go on.” 

Matt chuckled. He glanced at Joe who just raised his eyebrows at him, not offering any help. “Nothing, Rach. I love having the Christmas decorations up in the new year.” 

Rachel rolled her eyes. “I don’t see you taking them down.” 

“She’s got you there,” Joe pointed out. 

“You act like its summer and not mid-January. There’s still snow on the ground outside! It’s nice.” Rachel defended. 

Matt smiled. “You’re right. It is nice.” 

Joe swore Rachel could convince Matt the Earth was flat without even really trying. They switched to a different topic Joe pretended to listen to. Really, he was lost in his own thoughts and zoning out, looking at the ring on Rachel’s hand as it twinkled in the Christmas lights. 

He remembered when Abby had first seen that ring. She’d about blown a fuse when she thought her sister got engaged and didn’t tell her. 

Rachel has just laughed. “Relax, it’s for a mission. It’s a cover.” 

Abby had narrowed her eyes, first at her sister, then the ring. “For what?” 

Rachel’s eyes gleamed. “That’s classified.” 

That had been over a month ago. There it was, still on her finger. Whenever they were asked Rachel and Matt both denied being engaged but they didn’t seem to mind the questions. And, unlike the Christmas decorations, Matt wasn’t complaining. Even jokingly. 

Rachel excused herself to the bathroom and Matt slid closer to Joe, bringing him out of his thoughts and back to the present moment. 

“You, okay?” Matt asked. “You zoned out for a minute there.” 

“Yeah,” Joe lied. Matt pretended to believe him the way best friends did. “What were you guys talking about?” 

“Metaphysical philosophy,” Matt said. When Joe looked at him with both shock and horror he laughed. Matt never did anything half-assed, even laughing. Especially at his own jokes. “No, I’m kidding. I’m sure Rachel could talk all about that though.” 

Joe shook his head. “Smitten is quite a good look on you.” 

“It’s easy. Especially since Rachel is so much smarter than me,” before Joe could quip that it wasn’t hard to be smarter than him, Matt continued. “And someday you’ll know exactly what I mean.” 

“Alright,” Joe said, standing up. “That’s enough for you.” He swiped Matt’s empty glass out of his hand and headed for the kitchen. Matt protested and followed after his friend. Ignoring him, Joe opened the cabinet and pulled out another bottle to drink. 

When he turned to face Matt again, he was confused to see him peeking out the kitchen door before slowly letting it close. 

“What are you doing?” Joe asked and was promptly shushed. Joe glanced around as if an unseen force was in the kitchen waiting to pounce on them. “What?” 

Matt took a few steps closer to him and spoke in almost a whisper. “Rachel and I were talking last night. About the future.” 

“Okay.” 

“Until like 4:00am.” 

“Oh,” was all Joe could think of saying. 

“It all just became very real. And she was talking- and you know how she talks with her hands- and she’s still wearing that ring and,” he glanced over his shoulder. “It hit me; you know? I want to get her a real one. I want that future to be right now.” 

Joe nodded. It all sounded nice. He wasn’t sure why Matt was telling him, aside from just being best friends. 

Matt smiled and raised an eyebrow at Joe’s lack of reaction. “You’ll help me, right?” 

“Don’t ask stupid questions.” 

It was definitely that night. But it was also every night after that and every night before it. As Joe stared at the ceiling in his own bedroom, he thought about a shared one bedroom with someone you just liked to have around. Matt had watched Rachel hang up Christmas lights in November. He held onto her every chance he got, everywhere they went. She wore his oversized shirts more often than he did. They were inching closer and closer to a life behind a white picket fence. Something that was supposed to be a pipe dream in their profession. 

Joe had never wanted any of that. He wasn’t lying when he said it was a good look on Matt. And he would know, he felt like for every moment in their relationship where Rachel and Matt were watching each other, Joe was watching them. Their love story had played out like a movie before him. And just like a movie, it made you feel good and happy for them while it was in front of you. But then you return to your reality and there was a bit of a void; an empty feeling. 

Spies were experts at people watching. But it was watching his own friends fall in love that elicited more of a reaction in him than anything else. 

“Disgusting, isn’t it?” 

Joe looked across the table from him. Abby was holding an open newspaper in front of her face but somehow Joe knew exactly what she was referring to. “Don’t talk about your sister like that, Abigail.” It was two weeks since Matt had talked to Joe in his kitchen. Now, Abby was roped in on the mission as well. Which is how Joe and Abby ended up seated outside a Parisian café, across the street from the couple. 

With a huff, Abby folded the paper and put it on the table. “They’re so lovey though. Couldn’t you just retch?” She made a face as if to emphasize her point. 

Joe shook his head and took the paper from the tabletop and pretended to read it. He could feel it when Abby slid her sharp gaze at him. 

“Or are you also pretending?” 

Joe didn’t look up. “Pretending to...? What?” 

“Pretending not to want what they have because it’s easier than admitting you do.” 

Joe, true to his reputation, didn’t flinch. “I’m not cut out for that kind of thing, Abigail.” 

“Neither am I. That’s exactly why it hurts to want it,” Joe did look up at her then, but Abby was staring over at her sister. “They’re so attached to each other,” her voice sounded almost wistful. “I know you see it. And I know you feel the same way I do. I won’t make you say it but-,” 

“What makes you think that?” Joe asked. 

Abby did look at him then. She had the same careful and calculated expression Rachel wore at times. “Because I know what I look like when I’m living vicariously through them. Even when I don’t mean to.” She sighed, picking up her coffee. “Sometimes I feel like I’m only ever looking to live vicariously” 

“Little sibling syndrome,” Joe remarked. “Abby,” he said, his tone more serious as he looked at her. “You’ll be fine.” 

“Maybe,” she admitted. They watched as Rachel and Matt left their table and followed, keeping a generous group of people between them. “What about you?” 

“What about me?” Joe asked, his gaze locked on the back of Rachel and Matt’s heads. 

“Are you still hoping?” she asked. 

Joe put his arm around her, stopping her in her tracks. In one movement he pulled her to an alleyway and pressed her between the wall and himself, making sure to cushion the back of her head with his hand. “Who said I was ever hoping?” he asked her, lowering his head to the crook of her neck. Abigail turned her head to face him, making them look like any other in love tourists in the city. “You’re going to get us caught, you know that?” 

“Wouldn’t be the first time you’ve had to talk your way out of something because of me,” Abigail replied. 

When they felt enough time had passed, they emerged from the alley. Matt and Rachel were nowhere to be found so Joe took Abigail by the hand and led her into the jewelry shop. A bell above the door rang as they entered, and Abby made a big show of clutching Joe’s arm and giggling. When they approached the counter, Joe gave the man and woman behind it a charming smile before telling them, in perfect French, how he was looking to get an engagement ring for his lovely girlfriend. Joe feigned looking at different rings for a while and Abigail made faces at all of them. Finally, Joe requested the ring Matt had shown him. Abby clapped her hands together and the workers went to wrap it up for them. 

They left, both quickly dropping the act, and moving into phase two of the plan. “I did,” Abby said. When Joe just raised an eyebrow at her, she continued. “I said you were hoping.” 

Joe rolled his eyes. Not back to that conversation again. “Abigail, if there’s one thing, I’ve learned in this life it’s how to cut people out of yours.” 

Abby shivered as the wind picked up. “People aren’t tags on your clothes, Joe,” she scolded him. Joe didn’t say anything. Just put his arm around her and pulled her to her side to help shield her from the cold. She looked up at him as they kept walking. “After all this time are you still afraid to let someone know you?” 

“Can you ever really know anyone?” Joe asked. He always did this with Abigail, answered her questions with questions. 

“I know you,” she told him.  

But she didn’t. Not really. Joe had his reasons for being so reserved. For such a calculated and cynical person, he sure hadn’t used much common sense when it came to the last person he trusted. 

Abigail stopped walking beside him and, since they were holding each other, Joe stopped as well. Across the street from them were Matt and Rachel. Glittering lights were hung above what looked like a bakery (damn Matt’s sweet tooth). They looked like a couple you’d only see in magazines.  

“If you won’t admit it, I will,” Abby said. Her voice was soft and far away sounding as they both looked on at their very best friends. “I want that. That kind of love and emotion and attachment to the person you’re holding. And I want that for you, too.” 

Matt looked over then, as if he could sense them. Luckily, he could see right over the top of Rachel’s head. He spotted Joe and Abby easily and Joe nodded at him. Matt smiled at them before leaning down and kissing Rachel on the cheek. With that opportunity, Joe and Abby slipped back into the crowd.  

“It’s a nice idea, Abigail,” Joe told her. 

Abby sighed in the dramatic way that was a younger sister rite of passage. “It is, isn’t it?” She spared a glance over her shoulder at her sister and her soon to be fiancé. “Someday,” she said, under her breath. “But I guess for now we’re only people watching.” 

Joe didn’t say anything, and Abby resigned that he hadn’t heard her. Really, he was thinking. Maybe love and things were meant for some people, like Matt and Rachel. And maybe some people were just meant to watch. 

[manonamora-if]

Hi I wanted to ask which game are you currently most focused on?

Hi Anon,

I'm planning another post to discuss what I hope to do this next year (though if you've seen the first Retrospective post, you'd already get a ✨ hint ✨ ) and the rough timeline (but with no actual dates).

But for now, and until mid-January, I am enjoying a small break to do nothing except read books and catch up on my series/music. I've essentially not stopped actively working on a project since the start of the year (aside from the two week after I busted my wrists back in March). And if I don't take a break now, I won't take one until my body forces me to (which is a big no-no). So yeah, nothing :)

Ok, well... I'm not fully doing nothing. There's still the @seedcomp-if!