#it's a very homely dish :)
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Mandy… we must discuss max/oscar… what is the lore… what are the notes…. Im clocked in ma’am im ready to be deluded — wiz
ok so i called myself the unofficial head of this ship (lol) but actually looking through the tumblr tag i must denounce myself and crown @nyoomfruits instead bc she has been on it from day 1
max and oscar are just so similar i think they get each other!! they're both very down to earth and very focussed on the job. both of them hailed as extraordinary in lower formulas and quickly making their way up (ofc max's was very quick and oscar had his year out, but still all things considered). i feel like a lot of it is max being surprised about oscar, i dont think he expected that deadpan energy/serious but enjoying it/quick wit from him and now hes like oh i see, i get it. maybe also helps how much lando gets along with oscar and max obvs likes lando. trusts his opinion.
max praising oscar when he hardly ever praises anyone like this
oscar looking up at max with awe and eagerness (its a still from a video but let me have this)
this tho!!! max never sits on the floor but sees oscar doing it so joins him?! for no reason?! lando was in the chair it wouldve been so easy to sit next to him (as he then does later) "thank you mercedes" and then max's fond laugh and almost surprise. surprise that oscar can be witty like that!! max didnt expect it oscar turning around to watch the screen and being too late. max laughing at him, checking to see if lando is laughing too. if it isnt weird that max is laughing at oscar's joke/misfortune. max then doubling down and voicing what happened as if they didnt all just witness it right there.
like i said on the oscar discord too, i think oscar would indulge max's maxplaining!! he enables it and is like "Huh, I never thought about it like that. Have you considered that [x]" and then suddenly its 11pm and everyone else has left the paddock before they even look up from their convo
and
they would absolutely bicker over Everything but neither would really perceive it as bickering. thats just how they are
also they both have cat energy so
#anyway i have thoughts and this already feels very long so more of the “factual” (lol) stuff in the post and brainrot in the tags#i just think they would be really comfortable around each other#maybe not the passionpassionpassion that something like lestappen incurs but more a sense of safety and comfort. a safe harbour in the othe#if you will#genuinely really supportive and understanding. soft and wholesome. a lot of honesty too; both of them would just say it how it is#its showing up for each other and learning each others love language and cooking the other's home dishes to show they care#very much an acts of service/quality time over words of affirmation vibes#m answers#verstapstri#max/oscar#max#oscar
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fem suguru tiddies. do we want them or nah
#badonkers are on my bucket list#but i only know jjk#i only watched and read this series#thats a lie i read part of oyasumi punpun it depressed the hell out of me and i stopped#and then forgot to cancel my viz sub so they earned a whole 2.99 off of me#thats also a lie i also read demon slayer in its entirety before even reading the shibuya arc in jjk#i technically know more about what happened in that series than i do my home turf#im the type of person that in a dish saves the meat till the very end#and will fill up on side dishes first
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you would think that the scariest part of peaceful property would be the ghosts but no, actually it's the emotional damage. and also that bit in episode 6 when they forget which bowl has the real chickpeas in it and they just sort of guess even though peach has already put that guy in a coma because of his food allergy once because oh my god what the fuck
#this is a show with many ghosts in it and it's about peach's fear so i'll take this scene as more of a metaphor and that's okay#but peach. peach my darling.#in a literal way you can't be doing that (serving 25% chance of chickpea death because you want to trust home)!! you really cannot#*#peaceful property#a headcanon way to fix this would be. when peach tastes from the two bowls he CAN tell which is the right one.#and he just wants home to tell him. which would explain why peach is the only one So Sure it'll be fine and why he's THAT set#on serving this dish that could kill or at least very seriously hospitalize a man.#but you know. that really is just inserting something into canon that's not there at all. in canon they're just gambling with chai-un
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that marie kondo might be onto something because I just bought a $20 butter dish off facebook marketplace and the whole time I was like am I just being a sillybilly.... am I being indulgent and wasteful...... I could get this for like two bucks somewhere else......... and then I bought it and took it home and put it on my counter and it perfectly matches our new cooking set and every time I see it I snile so sneetly so maybe there is something to be said for unapologetically pursuing joy :)
#i LOVE getting to pick out all my little items for my new home#our new place is soo nice and we have the BEST view#we've been running around crazystyle to get all of our little bits#you dont realize how much random stuff you use in a day until you move across the country and then dont have it anymore#like fuck i dont have a soap dish. i dont have a laundry basket. i dont have batteries. i dont have ziplocs. i dont have a spatula#but the nice thing is we get to be very intentional about what we have in here#theres still lots to do but its coming together!#molly speaks
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He runs the kitchen in hq, which is about as stressful as you'd expect.
#spidersona#atsv#spiderman across the spiderverse#digital art#my art#oc#original character#csp#clip studio paint#character design#spider-gourmand#i do have a spidersona thats like an actual persona but ive redesigned them like 30 times n they still dont feel right#but gourmand? perfect man.#some Lore:#I imagine that a lot of tasks are automated but humans are still needed to supervise plan prep etc#defends the kitchen staff with his life whether theyre a volunteer or a regular#bc some spiders are assholes. other spiders are white boys who make the same jokes#about food they dont understand and it drives rene up a wall#he finds the multiverse very fascinating food-wise. for as much he complains about the job hes never turned#down a request from a spider for a dish specific to their home dimension#he believes strongly in the need to help yourself before you can help other people#which is why he gets absolutely pissed whenever spiders skip meals#what the fuck do you mean youll use your lunch break for another mission? who told you that? siddown.
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Huh. If my life was a quote, it'd be "one of those sad ones with a deceptively happy tune"
#quote from MLP:FIW#sorryyyy been kinda angry about my step family all day#sorry but im so tired of my Stepmom acting like she raised decent kids#my step brother is like 25 and living in my dads home. hes unironically an andrew tate fan and treats his very disabled girlfriend like shit#step sister always got compred to my sister who's the same age and put step sis in the light every time EVEN THO MY SIS WAS LITERALLY BETTER#<- like grades n shit#also both step sibs are gross. never cleans up ever. step brother and his gf are banned from the basement#step bro went to juvy when he was 16 and step sis had a trial last year and almost went to jail#also step sis has mono and would rather die than cover her mouth#i feel bad for SB's girlfriend because she has no other support system and sometimes it feels like SB or SS is trying to kill her?????#my dad threatened to kick out the adults if the house is dirty (adults being SB. SBG. SS. My sister. Aunt.)#My sister does SO MUCH HOUSEWORK and nobody cares and im mad#also bullshit rules recently have made my potential eating disorder worse#i don't think its healthy to rather starve than wash a dish but i actually have cried several times over this#not to mention how much i accidentally starve myself#also our food has been less and less because I don't know what I'm allowed to eat anymore because of my step family#also i have to share the smallest room with my sister. its okay tho ilh and i wouldn't want to get rid of her#sometimes it feels like my stepmom doesn't like me or my sisters because we're “weird”. childish interests and artistic#she lectured me about having missing assignments and I started crying#i said i just forgot to turn in some before the deadline and she called me lazy#<- Oops! so close. its actually THE MENTAL ILLNESS#my sisters and i feel like shit#i feel like my safe space is with my oldest sister.#and you all too! i love you guys#i just feel trapped. trapped by my step family. trapped by my own mind.#i was just starting to feel free from the burden of school and she just made me feel more stressed.#i didn't want to study because she killed the little motivation I had#Spanish exam is now “Fuck it we ball”#sorry for the personal post
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ok ok ok so. i read caged lungs after sending a screenie to my friend and going "shit. i dont have classes tomorrow. who cares." honest to god my downfall. yadda yadda. it takes me like. three hours to read it which is PRETTY good for me considering that i was also walking around my dorm and getting ready for bed BUT lemme tell you. was i being safe? no i was still reading lol
im not the best with words when it comes to talking about something i really enjoyed (i can only manage to say "i want to eat this" most of the time). BUT i gotta say that i loved loved loved donnie and leo's scenes in CL, how donnie's brain worked felt so REAl to me. i used to have a friend like cursed!leo so seeing donnie react and respond in practically the same exact way was shocking (in a good way)!!!
so. YEAH. our wedding will be december i'll wear my prettiest dress 💍
ive just proposed to an anon and now an anon is proposing to me... chat im getting polyamorous with the anons. love wins
ALSO WOW??? im always flattered when people say they relate to the way i write CL but also very worried because leo under the curse was a whole other level of nastiness, i hope youre doing okay anon :( i hope you could find it kind of cathartic!!
#ask#sometimes i have people asking ME if im okay#which is very funny#i am not abused at home i have a very good relationship with pretty much everyone in my family#except my dad but thats the average american family experience#and hes just shitty in a regular braindead republican way not a manipulator#“who hurt you” NO ONE IM JUST LIKE THIS#well. im not gonna act like im not traumatized. but im not gonna air that out#but overall i am just Like This .... me beating characters up is my way of studying them under a petri dish#theres a thesis statement to my pain LMAO#you can see that reflected in coming undone very well actually
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some thoughts about jade leech as a stalker.
(cw: yandere, nsfw, stalking, unhealthy behaviors/relationship, obsession, mentions of death/strangulation)
Jade does not love often. In fact, he has a rather small supply of love, which is reserved for his hobbies and family, so when he loves something other than those two things it can only mean trouble. When Floyd has something special and doesn’t share... Well, naturally Jade’s going to want it. He’s never been inherently greedy. Rather, he’s always let Floyd have everything: the larger half of a bluefin tuna, the shinier stone, the bigger seashells, the slice of cake with more frosting, his uniforms whenever Floyd’s were dirtied or damaged. And in return Floyd has, for the most part, shared his things with Jade. This has always been their normal.
But this time Floyd makes no mention of sharing when it comes to you. In the past, when they were particularly interested in someone, they would share them. Or, in other words, torment that person in equal succession. Azul has been their prime target for years now, and it doesn’t look like either of them will stop their relentless pursuit in seeing how fast they can get Azul to grouse or groan or sigh. You might think they live to see Azul’s misery, but truthfully they want to accompany Azul as he carves misery into the hearts of the poor, unfortunate souls who thought it wise to do business with deep-sea beasts. Teasing him is just a bonus.
When it comes to you, Floyd is his usual authentic self: blunt and honest to a fault, dangerously so. But that’s what makes his twin so fun. Floyd won’t sugarcoat the obvious. If he dislikes you, he’ll make it known. Jade, on the other hand, will speak syrupy sweet lies in an effort to maintain proper goodwill, even if he detests you. You’ve never really interested Jade, so he can’t say he hates you. But he can’t say he loves you either. To him, you are just a powerless human in a habitat that does not suit you. Really, even with all of the tricks and traps you pulled to beat Azul at his own game, you remained boring to him. He didn’t pay you much mind after everything had been resolved and you’d been free to return to Ramshackle. That should have been the end of his story with you.
But then, some time later, you start to make frequent appearances at the lounge. It doesn’t take Jade long to learn that you only show up when Floyd’s on shift, and it also doesn’t take him long to theorize that you might have fallen for his brother’s unique charms. It’s sweet, in a way, how Floyd lights up when he sees you, how you smile a little more brightly when he speaks to you, how your laughter is so very buoyant when Floyd lifts you into the air and spins you happily. Jade’s content to watch from the sidelines, pleased to know that his brother has found a friend in you. That might make it easier to trick you into a contract.
He’s so set in this way of thinking, only viewing you as a pawn or a stepping stone towards some bigger end goal. But when Floyd brings you back to the dorm and you become more than a constant in Jade’s life, he starts to wonder what makes you so special. What is it about you that has his brother so enamored? What makes you irresistible? What parts of you are appealing? Jade thinks it might be how quick it is you submit when Floyd’s got you pinned into the mattress, face first, rough hands spreading your thighs apart, so he can sink into you more easily. Floyd likes that; he likes the weak things that crumble under him. He likes to push things to breaking. He likes to mark and bite and bloody and bruise and shred.
Jade likes to fix. He likes to mend, and then break, and then mend all over again. He likes the process, the psychological science behind a simple gesture, much like how he takes great pleasure in playing god over the plants in his terrariums. They say a budding serial killer starts small—with animals like rabbits or squirrels or cats. Jade starts with plants. He’ll put them in stressful environments—in soils with nutrients that don’t quite work—and he’ll watch them wilt, mottle, mold, and decay. He’ll watch them struggle to adapt, he’ll watch them yearn for water or sunlight, and only when he’s certain they’ve had enough he’ll give them proper, healthy care. It’s fun, the way he has so much control over something as dynamic as a plant. But plants cannot protest, cannot fight back, cannot act in the same way humans do.
But it’s quite satisfying to pluck dried petals from a withered flower, almost like a morbid game of effeuiller la marguerite, and not hear a single scream.
So Jade is fully expecting Floyd to tire of you, to break you enough until boredom sinks its fangs into him and he moves on with his life. And what Floyd breaks Jade fixes, so he’s very ready to glue your heart together when Floyd shatters it. He’s ready to offer a handkerchief and his ear should you need to vent. He’s already prepared his speech: “I must apologize on behalf of Floyd. You know very well how he gets. If I can be of assistance in any way, please let me know.”
Unfortunately, you remain intact. Months pass, Floyd continues to love you, and your relationship unfolds like a lotus in early morning. Jade continues to observe. Floyd has never been one for privacy, so he’s seen every kiss, every bite, every inch of exposed skin. Hell, he’s sat at his desk and tallied Mostro Lounge’s monthly expenses while Floyd fucked you dumb on the other side of the room. He’s even made eye contact with you when you happened to gaze his way while his twin was buried balls-deep in that tight hole of yours. He wonders what goes on in that head of yours. Perhaps there’s nothing substantial within. Floyd’s scrambled your brains enough, so you could just be useless now. Though that wouldn’t be very fun, would it? He knows there’s more to you than you let on, especially when you play top and take every inch of Floyd, riding him so skillfully, and all Floyd can do is dig his fingers into your hips to guide you along to the rough, erratic pace the both of you have set.
Jade watches fondly from the shadows. Floyd likes to have access to your neck and shoulders; he likes to take you from behind while leaning down to bite into soft flesh. But Jade thinks it would be much nicer to gaze upon your face, to kiss salt from your eyes, to pepper your jawline with tiny pecks, all while peering into eyes that house a beautiful soul. He thinks it would be nice to hold you down, have your legs wrapped around his waist or thrown up onto his shoulders, while he bottoms out. If it were Jade, he’d take you in every position, but he’d find the most pleasure in eye contact. There’s something intimate about it, much like how there’s intimacy in the hands that wrap around a throat. You have to be close to someone when you’re restricting their airflow; you have to squeeze until veins pop, until your hands are sore, until your fingernails have burrowed so deeply into skin that the crescent moons color crimson. It takes minutes to strangle someone, and every minute is spent staring into the wide, terrified eyes of a desperate soul on the verge of death.
Jade likes the way you smell, the way you speak, the way you laugh, the way you are, in every meaning of the word, so very filled with life. Even down to the way you breathe and gasp and moan and cry, you are life itself. Jade wants to bottle that for himself—pluck you from Floyd’s flower pot and place you in a terrarium with the most potent elements just to see how long you’d fare. He wants to save you from those same conditions, sandwich your face between gloved hands when he’s kneeled to your lowered height, and whisper about how it’s okay, about how you’re safe, about how he’d never truly hurt you. Jade knows that loving someone is a very special thing, but the way he loves you is not quite pleasant. The love he has for his hobbies and family is natural. Normal. Simplistic and familial.
The love he has for you is murderous and frightening. Some days he looks at you like you’re prey he’s not yet devoured. Like you’re to be his first victim.
Jade starts small. He takes tiny trinkets—a keychain, a pencil, an accessory. He stores these in a shoe box under his bed. When Floyd brings you over and clothes are cast aside, he swipes your undergarments for himself. He won’t wash them until he absolutely must. He’ll have the soft fabric wrapped around his dick later that same evening when Floyd’s fallen asleep and he’s up late contemplating love and lust and life and death, and he’ll cum to the thought of you. Sweet, adorable, oblivious you.
He’s what one would call a persistence predator—a hunter who gradually wears his prey down over time. He takes from you, watches you, listens to you fret about missing things to Floyd, who promises to find the bastard who’s messing with you and squeeze them until they’re blue and purple. Jade smiles at that. Floyd wouldn’t really do that to him. Sure, they’ve hit each other when they’ve fought and roughhoused on occasion, but the punches were never truly meant. Sure, they might have been thrown playfully or angrily, but they were all temporary bouts of strength. Floyd wouldn’t truly hurt him, so to hear these determined promises and to see how you relax around him... It’s really cute. Jade wonders how much more he can take from you.
And he wonders how much more you can take before you’re splintering.
Really, you got lucky that Floyd picked you first. He’s far more merciful. Far more sweeter. Far more loving. At least Floyd is honest with his (at times) rough nature. At least he makes it known that he wants to bite you until you’re bleeding. But Floyd can’t stand whining. He hates it when people cry about things he can’t bother to care about, and lately you’ve been whining about this stalker you think you have for weeks now. Floyd’s told you you’re just being a scared shrimpy—that there is no stalker, that you’re probably just misplacing or losing these items, that none of them really matter because they’re replaceable.
Jade gets lucky when Floyd finally washes his hands of you, officially fed up with your whining. And what Floyd damages Jade fixes. So when you’re in tears, distraught over the break-up and your missing items and your stalker and the fact that the door to Ramshackle was left unlocked again and that you feel like someone’s living in your shadow, Jade arrives to rescue you from your fear. You don’t even hesitate to cling to him and cry, spilling your worries in waterfalls. Perhaps it’s because he’s a familiar face. He is a reflection of Floyd, after all.
“Oh dear,” he’ll whisper, stroking your back, allowing you to bury your face in his chest and sob. “There, there.”
You can’t see his expression, but there is a smile spreading on his lips. And his eyes are alight with cruel glee.
“Would it make you feel better if someone accompanied you to your classes?” Your feeble nod is all he needs. “In that case, shall I spend a few days at Ramshackle with you? I’m certain whoever’s pursuing you won’t get very far if I’m around.”
And he’s right. Your stalker never takes anything again. They never leave the front door unlocked. They never trail behind you, taking shelter in your shadow. That’s because he’s your stalker, though you never managed to figure that out, and this time he doesn’t have to dwell in shadows or on the sidelines. This time he can stand before you as a friend, a soon-to-be lover, and perhaps a lifelong mate.
Jade does not love often, but when he does it is as beautifully painful as tearing the wings from butterflies.
#meraki mumbles#yandere twst#n/sfw#i think my favorite thing about writing yandere jade is how brutal and remorseless he can be#it's probably because he grew up in the harsh environment of the sea#which would naturally harden anyone and make them more predatory than a prey#it's probably also why he (and floyd and azul) see nothing wrong with murder#yes it's morally wrong and very much illegal#but in the ocean it's eat or be eaten and really do you think jade is going to let some other predator snap his darling up? :)#challenge: write one yan jade thought without it spiraling into a thought about his murderous rizz#challenge failed </3 he is a walking danger you cannot tell me he wouldn't think of the most horrifying things when it comes to darling#more jade thoughts!!! consider an artist (painter/sculpter/etc) jade who is absolutely obsessed with you (the nude model from his art class)#because you're the one who has finally inspired him and broken his months-long artist's block#and also because he'd like to paint you in the most vicious red#or jade who has broken into your home and is living there in secret without you knowing#sometimes he sleeps under your bed just to hear your steady breaths#he never rearranges anything in your house but he does do the dishes or clean up messes you've made#you can never remember if or when you cleaned these things but you never think much of it#jade stands at your bedside when you sleep at night and he watches you#you'll happen to wake and you'll spot him but by the time you've scrambled to wake up and turn the lights on he'll already be gone#so you're left to wonder if he was ever there in the first place or if you were still dreaming#he is the terror that you will never see until it's too late
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today has been a very good day for me. I expected bad days, it literally hasn't even been a week since I got broken up with? it's been 5 days at most.
#woke up#had yummy cereal with the coffee/milk mix i usually do#got myself balatro and immediately won the first time i played it#there were yummy coconut shrimp at work that i got to eat#i saw a cutie who's in a band and it and its gf came up and said hi to me and talked to me for a bit#the girlthing i'm friends with that i love came to the deli and gave me a hug#then i got to slice some cheese for it and it pet me and called me a good girl as a reward for doing such a good job for it!#then the hot water we're required to have for the deli to be up to code came back! after a week of washing greasy dishes without it!#got out of work 15 minutes earlier than usual!#got home#and then practiced guitar for a bit#then was able to get changed and visit the girlthing that hugged me earlier.#today ruled!!#also im getting a bike tomorrow with the help of a friend who has also bought me... some kink gear. which i will not specify but will enjoy.#and then i get to see one of my non nesting gfs some time after that and fall asleep cuddling her!!#my life is very gay and good.
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man ok so you know the spiciness scale on menus that show you how spicy a dish is so you can order based on your tolerance. can we have that for sauces too please
#im being serious btw. the sauce to rice ratio is very important and sacred to me#whenever i eat at home i get to choose how much sauce i can have with my rice because i dont like absolutely dousing it but i still wanna b#able to taste it yanno. i dont do well with slippery/saucy foods and ive given up trying to understand it. it might be a sensory thing#i am so sorry to admit this on the soup website but i cant handle thick/chunky sauces or curry. forgive me#the worst part is that i actually can handle and even enjoy some like caldereta and congee. but its so hard to tell people ill eat this but#not that.. its embarassing because it feels like im making exceptions. which i am!! because its preference!! but alas#but anyway with the sauce scale. i was thinking it would be nice to include a scale for how much sauce you want with a dish#rather than just skirting away from a food because you feel like you cant handle the texture or feel unsure about it#sauce could be adjustable without completely changing the recipe so it would be more like a matter of quantity or serving size#also i feel like i can make cool names for the scale. like “light drizzle” to “sauceageddon”#im asian so when i eat sauce i pair it with rice and it works because the rice kind of cancels out or makes the sauce more tolerable for me#with caldereta i make it an even 50/50 because i can taste it in the rice without the texture getting in the way#but with pasta and sauce its normally 1/3 sauce because the pasta normally isnt enough to cancel it out#i also grew up with relatives making fun of my eating habits and i really really hate eating at restaurants and gatherings because of it#maybe its because they want to make sure im eating right but!! you dont have to call me out for my 1/3 portion of spaghetti sauce!! damn!!!#anyway im not sure if anyone feels the same abt this and maybe its just me. but it would be really nice to have this a normal thing#without judging ppl for their eating habits and preferences. on god#yapping#food ment#EDIT: ASKING FOR SAUCE ON THE SIDE. MY EYES HAVE BEEN OPENED. I DIDNT KNOW THAT WAS A THING
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feeling like the loneliest girl in the world
#a guy came into work tonight. he was in last night and i was attracted to him then but tenfold today#if he asked me out i’d say yes. but he wasn’t looking at me like that#and it’s not just that i’m attracted to him. his demeanor is very well. he seems mature and intelligent#he never went into our vlt room to gamble or outside to smoke. and from his conversation i know he doesn’t go to the strip club or do or#approve of drugs#i know this seems like bare minimum. but.#i was doing my cleaning the majority of the time he was there so i wasn’t talking to him as much as my coworker did#and she came over to me and told me how hot he is and how much she’s attracted to him#and i told her she should shoot her shot and the odds are he’d go for her - why wouldn’t he? of course he would.#and my want sometimes is like a seeping wound#i lick it like a never healing scar and i hold it like a newborn.#as well my brother gave me two drying racks for dishes#i was only gonna take one but he told me to take the other for my roommate. i know she doesn’t have one so i did#i put them in the kitchen and told her that if she wanted she could choose one#and when i got home from work i found them both on my staircase by my room#i know we aren’t friends but sometimes i wish we weren’t such … strangers.#lindsay.text
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the absolutely massive amounts of food waste that my college's food system accumulates each day is actually disgusting so ive resolved to start stealing several things from commons every day follow for more of my radical activism
#rowan screams into the void#it makes me very sad and i applied to be part of the food oversight committee but rhey havent gotten back to me#i saw them just dumping a full untouched platter of salad in the fucking trash today and i was like ok. your dishes are coming home with me
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can't wait to not eat dinner at 7pm every night :/ especially when i eat lunch at 11:30!
#when im on my own i eat at 630 at the latest#but bc i live at home and my folks cook most nights im kind of at their mercy#and we very often eat dinner at 7/730. and it sucks. im hungry. then i have to clean up dishes and i go to bed at 830
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Daycare halloween party went super well my kids loved my giyuu cosplay
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sorry if i am weirder than usual right now GRINS EVILLY but not too evilly. i dont know whats up with me today but its like a whole thing it might be the four hours of sleep if im honest
#ive been awake for 12 hours im realising hmmmm#i did all the dishes then cleaned the mop & took a shower. i am now lying down until my feet & back stop hurting#bc like. ok i did the dishes but in the sense that i got them dishwasher ready right. i still need to get the dishwasher going#but since my mother never lets anyone else do it i dont know how to. ill figure it out though of course. grown ass man.#feeling very physically disabled atm bc. i am. but also feeling accomplished. i intend on cleaning my room as well#no ones home so.. smiles#but yea idk why i decided to do all thst. ive been jittery & antsy & like i need to do everything forever at once#& im also socially weird(er than usual) i can notice it but theres not much i can do about it bc the urge to yap.#its nothing HARMFUL i dont think since im not getting mad at ppl yknow im just a bit of an odd thing right now#do u forgive me for being a weird little mentally ill freak 💞💞💞💞😊🐏 say yes im nice
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😶
#random personal stuff#feeling very trivial lately. very useless to other people.#like a little glittery figurine someone picked up in a souvenir shop#want to help. can't help. need to help to justify existence.#going home will be good because then I could at least do the dishes for my mom or something#but for now I wish there were more to me than good intentions made out of soap bubbles#when other people have such important things to do and such real concerns
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