#it's a sort of game i play with myself

[thehardkandy]

A thing I really appreciate about my job is idk. The sense of doing something people want but cannot do for themselves. That they ask me a question or provide me a problem/desire and I tell them if or how it can be done. And then I spend my time doing what I have decided upon. It feels good and the feelings last longer than I got at my other jobs, since it was usually only for very small parts

[maplemaplemaplemaplemaple]

(lyrics are from the song Not What I Needed by Car Seat Headrest!)

happy birthday, psychonauts. i miss whispering rock as though it were a real place

ref image under cut:

this game is so gorgeous it makes me want to yell. how were they doing this in 2005 .

[meowing-at-u]

hey. sooooooooooo I haven't seen anyone else make any posts or videos about it but has anyone else noticed that as the acts progress, the text of Siffrin's dialogue options that have been chosen already become increasingly distorted? At first it's hardly noticable, like a few pixels of a letter missing then it gets increasingly fucked up? Like, multiple ENTIRE letters distorted or straight up missing.

IT HAPPENS IN THE CHARACTER BIOS IN THE MENU TOO, BUT ONLY TO SIFFRIN SO WHEN YOU LOOK AT A DIFFERENT BIO THEN BACK TO HIS IT GOES BACK TO NORMAL i fuckin' felt like i was being gaslit or some shit it's SO BRILLIANT!!

(i believe it also happens to the souvenirs/items?)

I was so scared and full of dread there'd be something horrifying and different waiting for me when I Looked Back but I DID IT EVERYTIME ANYWAYS

AUUUUUU77GHHHGWG and the way it reflects both Siffrin AND the player's mental states through multiple different interpretations SO GOOD WAAAAUAGGhHh

Noticed this for the first time when I played the demo! I thought it was some sort of weird game engine rending glitch and ignored it!

[pixelatedraindrops]

Yuma Month: Day 20: Truth

The truth…is uglier than you could have ever expected.

tw // vomit (spoilers too)

...happens only if he ate a meat bun prior to this

(all vomit in rain code is censored in pink glitter ✨)

based on this post I made long back

[centaurianthropology]

Why Spenser Starke is a Fantastic Horror GM (and the Core Fantasy in Candela Obscura)

So, I have seen some rancid takes about Spenser Starke online. Less so on this webbed site, largely because people around here are not in a pissing contest to prove who’s the most cynical, superior, and dickish. But there have still been some mind-blowing ones, from “he says UM too much” (guess who else does that? Brennan, but I don’t see these people criticizing him), or “he describes scenes like shots in a movie and that’s BAD WRONG” (while you might not stylistically enjoy it, I for one adore seeing a new interpretation of how to narrate while GMing, and think he’s doing great).

But the two that rub me the wrong way most are that he “controls the narrative too tightly” and doesn’t allow the characters to meander too long before throwing them back into the narrative, and that he’s “too harsh” in that even mixed successes tend to net characters damage of some sort. I saw accusations of “GM vs Player” mentality, but everyone was clearly enjoying themselves and the experience.

And that, I think, highlights the fundamental disconnect between these complainers and what’s actually happening on the screen: they don’t understand the core experience.

They have likely never played horror TTRPGs. They may have never played TTRPGs period, and instead are armchair DMs based purely on how Matt and Brennan DM, not really understanding that there are a thousand other ways to DM. But if they have played TTRPGs, I would guess that they’ve exclusively played D&D or its ilk. And I say that because there’s a very clear belief here that empowerment and ‘winning the game’, as well as wandering about freely to create your own narrative at your own pace are all fundamental parts of the TTRPG experience as a whole. But they aren’t. They’re fundamental to D&D, yes, but this is not what players come to a game like Candela Obscura for.

Each TTRPG has a central fantasy playing out. In D&D it’s heroic empowerment. D&D is mechanically built around getting more and more power and eventually defeating the big bad. A good GM in D&D, like Matt Mercer, focuses on giving out challenges, but always helping their players strive to overcome and grow and become better. This self-actualization is at the heart of the experience.

Horror games are not about that at all. The closest to that fantasy is something like ‘Vampire the Masqerade’ or other World of Darkness games, which do feature power growth, but the core fantasy is actually about learning that you are a monster. And embracing power will lead to even greater monstrousness. The horror in games like this is both political and personal, and the system is mechanically built to accommodate that horror.

And if you watch LA by Night or NY by Night, you’ll actually see that Jason Carl employs a fairly similar narrative tightness to his storytelling as that of Spenser Starke. Because a huge part of horror is about establishing and maintaining a mood. To do that, a DM has to keep a tighter rein on pacing, cutting from scene to scene and moment to moment in a way that is more directed than in D&D, because that helps establish and maintain the vibe being created.

Candela Obscura plays, thematically, a lot like one of my favorite games to run: ‘Call of Cthulhu’. CoC is a game all about disempowerment. The power differential between the players and the monsters is vast. Combat is vicious, short, and deadly, and direct combat almost always ends badly for an investigator. There is an entire chapter devoted to running away for a reason.

Both CoC and Candela are built on danger, vulnerability, and a constant sense of tension. And Spenser is fantastic at all of these. He keeps his narrative laser focused, moving between moments rapid-fire to keep up that tension, and to introduce new dangers. He is a ‘vicious’ DM only in so much as even mixed successes hurt. But this also keeps the tension up by keeping the characters and players on the edges of their seats. They are almost never safe. They are almost never well. They are constantly juggling dwindling resources. They are underpowered, vulnerable, and afraid.

And that’s the core fantasy here: exploring fear in a safe way. Being stressed out in a way you can leave behind as soon as the scene is done. Constantly living on the edge, fighting the odds, and knowing that you likely won’t succeed or will only do so at great cost. And he is masterfully keeping that intensity running through each session.

He gives characters time to talk about themselves, time for scenes to play out, until he feels the tension begin to flag, and then he pushes on. He never lets the air go entirely out of the narrative sails. He has a great sense of when a character needs a moment (his use of the red PTSD lighting exemplifies how closely he’s paying attention to his players and adjusting the setting to fit their moods). He sometimes pushes on, gets pushback from a player who wants another beat, and is always happy to give that to them. He keeps the pace up, but is always very careful to make sure his players have what they need to still enjoy this particular experience.

All this is to say that Spenser is absolutely killing it at being an exemplary horror GM. His sense of pacing and tension, his ability to direct action while still always embracing player autonomy, and using the mechanics of the system to never allow them to feel entirely safe are all great tools in a horror GM’s toolkit.

Horror games are not for everyone. Certainly there are plenty of people who only ever want the hero fantasy of D&D, but I think it’s important to recognize what the goal of a game is, and what constitutes success within those parameters, rather than parameters that only exist in an audience member’s mind, because they don’t really get how horror games work.

[vaguely-concerned]

I was just ambushed within the turbulent halls of my own mind by some headcanons about rye ingellvar's childhood that did 15000000 points of psychic damage to me and my heart personally and also made me almost sure of how I want to play it all at the end (very very differently from how I imagined going in!). some 'oh holy fuck this changes everything' rocking my own world bullshit going on in my neurons right now I'm reeling

[revvethasmythh]

omg i'm a real gamer now (beat the felassan revenant on my first try on normal difficulty)

[invinciblerodent]

hang on, this was a very out of pocket thought I had in like, tags on a thing, but fuck, it's actually very sweet to think about the PC early on in their relationship picking and pressing flowers for Karlach

like as a "I saw this and thought of you, but I couldn't give it to you then, so I saved it for when you can enjoy it too"? adorable.

I'm kind of really into this idea of Mara keeping a journal in her attempts to recover her memories, and also pressing flowers between the pages. I'd have to work out the specifics of how their relationship is going to work out once I get there in act 3 (I tried not to spoil myself, but something tells me a romanced Karlach is gonna be pretty upset about Gortash greeting her lover so warmly so maybe an apology gift will be needed), but the idea of the two of them going through a book-bouquet together, almost as kind of a "the person he knew is not who I am anymore, this is who I am, this is the me who loves you" thing is really sweet

like.

"this one is from near where we first met- look, this leaf is even singed where your heat had touched it, like it touched me."

"this one is from just outside camp, and I picked it the night I told you I liked you, because I was just so happy."

"this is from near Rosymorn, when I looked at you just enjoying the breeze, and thought that you looked particularly beautiful."

"this is the prettiest flower I could find near Reithwin, and it may be a pathetic, wretched little thing, but it still grew stubbornly where it wasn't supposed to, and it reminded me of how your love took root in my heart."

"this one is my favorite color, and I wasn't sure why I thought that until I realized it's the same color as your eyes."

and so on and so on.

i'm about to chew gravel istg

[sieglinde-freud]

so the way endings in awakening work is a bit off if you have the gay mod because it reads single people normally, but married people have the man’s ending read, and then his wife just. attached. and so that alters which ending you see for both of them. unfortunately, that means if i have f/f pairs, which most of them were, i dont get to see any because none of them were read. and at least with the second gen, i did almost entirely f/f pairs, which dont show up, or m/m pairs, which had nothing written, so. everyone please give it up for gerome and cynthia, the only second gen ending i got to see!

😭😭 good for them!!! anyways unorganized final thoughts under cut so i dont have to make a whole other post for it

awakening lunatic sucks! but project thabes makes it suck a little less. in all honesty i had a lot of fun, awakenings a good game to revisit, and finding a way to make it challenging while being able to use my favorite units (awakening second gen) ever was awesome. normally having all 13 (or 14 in this case, with both morgans) would break the game, but lunatic kept the enemies strong, so it didnt matter what my units had. i actually got overwhelmed a lot 😭 HUGE difficulty jump between hard and lunatic all i’m saying. and then the games like “hey now u have lunatic+ if that interests you” NOOOOO THANKS.

anyways. here are my top three guys according to the medal thingies at the end

im so proud of them :3 of all the kids really but yeah these three were huge standouts. virion actually got a change in the mod where one of his subclasses was swapped for myrmidon, so yarne got to inherit astra which was actually insane? it procced ALL THE TIME so. that was crazy. chrom!inigo and fred!cynthia are always good thats not new but they were really clutch in the last few chapters. i had them both hopping around classes for most of the game bc thabes redoes skill progression so. IT TOOK CYNTHIA SO LONG TO LEARN LUNA. ITS FROM WYVERN LORD. GOD. she went through a LOT of classes yall dont even know. also honorable mention to marc and morgan, the best rallybots ever, and dancer lucina, who was outserving everyone she was in a scene with. my girl.

like ok serving cunt on the back of the god youre about to kill? get it girl!

anyways so for second gen pairs i did: lucina/f!morgan, owain/m!morgan, inigo/laurent, yarne/brady, severa/kjelle, nah/noire, and cynthia/gerome and you know what. i think i have a great taste. a lot of these were born from being unable to do other pairings but thats ok. i liked how it turned out. though i was gonna do nah/noire anyways because they were actually like. an insane duo. honestly im surprised noire didnt get a medal thing bc i feel like her nostanking with nah backing her up got me out of so much shit. maybe its because i didnt see her ending… oh. oh wait thats probably it. well. anyways.

i think awakening is not a properly balanced game, nor are the maps made for a difficulty like this. towards the end game especially, the maps are just. flat. most of them anyways, and they just become really repetitive and bland and boring. and despite this being the game with the tactician character of all the time, they dont really allow you flexible strategies, because if youre not pair up stat stacking, you will die! and that sucks. mid game is alright, but the last arc is really weak and kinda dampered my whole experience. im glad i did it, but i wouldnt actually reccomend it to anyone unless you like to play like that (which is totally fine! its just not my thing). definitely requires some solid planning as well. all in all, not the worst fire emblem ive played but… well. im not doing it again. ok anyways heres inigo mouthing off at grima

[kidfur]

IM A REAL GAMER NOW

[0x4468c7a6a728]

i've gotta program something soon...

[ask-the-totally-real-peppino]

Heres an actual genuine question what's your favorite video game, and what would peps favorite video game be

(Ough, favourite game? That's depends! There are lots of games I have never played, but still enjoy, like Pizza Tower for example jfdsjkfd. But for this, I'll stick with games I have played, which is not a lot as I am not much of a gamer!

I mostly play simulator type games, basically anything I can insert myself or my characters into (or make characters of, hehe)! So Animal Crossing is a big one! But more recently I have very much been into Wobbledogs and Cult of the Lamb (for the cult management more than the crusades, but they're still fun!)

I did also enjoy Bugsnax very much, even if I didn't finish it (my computer at the time ran very poorly, and I never installed it on my new one whoops), and I can't really think of any others!!!

As for Pep, I think he'd also be a simulator enjoyer! He likes to go at his own pace, and make pretty things! I imagine he'd like to collect all the bugs in AC and plant so many flowers and say hello to everyone every day!!!

And while his hand-eye coordination is a bit clumsy, I think he'd also enjoy rhythm games, once he got the hang of it He would CRUSH at Dance Dance Revolution!!!

I rambled a lot for no specific answer! But have an AC styled Pep doodle bc I can

[sheepalmighty]

Still figuring out what additional pages I want to draw for my AU and whether or not to upload any separately. But for now here's a sketch of a pouting Chai

[loderlied]

another major 'hate his ass' gort moment (probably one of THE moments): the child mind in the mind flayer colony. just this kid not really knowing what's going on yearning for their mother and the knowledge of what gortash did to them....... ugh.

[imgdreaming]

me as a bizzboy cheering for P :-) i love love loved them absolutely my favorite character from the game

[introvert-celeste]

Welp, I can safely say that October and Halloween have been ruined for me. I envy everyone who can actually look forward to the festivities because my heart is just not in it this year :/