hey did you know??? that if you stop stretching and maintaining mobility in your body then it goes away?? things get tight and you can't move the way that you used to??? and when you decide to try getting a stretch routine going that the first week fucking sucks because you keep going 'damn i used to be able to do this no problem' and then you have to switch gears and be kind to yourself and just focus on getting better from here instead of berating yourself for dropping the good habits in the first place??? and your body never stops aging so you gotta keep taking care of it and sometimes you gotta take care of it extra in certain areas because of things that happened when you were younger and it's boring and sometimes hurts but it's so necessary???
i am yelling this at myself right now i am going through An Experience (trying to get into a routine of body maintenance again for my physical and mental health)
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i hit 1k followers recently!!!! yipee!!!!!!! thank you all!!! so in celebration here’s all of my completed isat doodle pages, from oldest to newest. go nuts with them!! and maybe don’t look at the first doodle page too closely. it’s Old.
(no greyscale version below for once! just some mushy ramblings. you don’t have to read them don’t worry)
hhhhhha?? so many people. where did you come from. how did you all find me.
ok but seriously, thank you all so much for all the support. i never really. expected to make it this far? like, ever?? i’ve mentioned it a few times on here, but i’ve been a lurker for the past… 2 years, i think? and even before that, i never gained much traction outside of a couple posts. so this has been. very new to me!! in a nice way!! it’s weird to feel like an actual member of a community!! that people know about!
the idea of finally coming back to social media was Daunting (i literally got stress hives writing my first post lol) and the warm reception really. meant a lot?? i don’t think i would’ve ever gotten the courage to come back if i hadn’t been encouraged to by the people over at the isat discord!!
the fact that people actually care about my art still doesn’t feel real?? seeing people take inspiration from my art is just. surreal. just. auagssh. thank you all so so much for everything, i really do appreciate it!!! i’m really glad to be in this community. sorry if this all sounds sappy and long winded i’ve just got a lot of emotions about this whole thing!!
(also as a bonus for reading all this or whatever. here’s a concept page for isatscryption! it felt a little out of place next to my normal canvases so i’m putting it down here! yipee! sorry my notes here are so disjointed auauau…)
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there is something so horrible about destroying churches, or any place of worship. im not even religious. it’s about the fact that people were so devoted, put so much effort into building and decorating and just experiencing this part of their life, that they hold so important. and all that effort is taken away by a fucking bomb
I find religion beautiful, and it’s harrowing to see these things happening in PaIestine and no one cares. suddenly now no one cares about religion or the importance of religious monuments
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Family Resemblance
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I had another 11pm brain worm.
Enjoy
-x-x-
Daniel Wayne, the younger toddler brother of Bruce Wayne and the son of Martha and Thomas Wayne had been kidnapped the night their parents were murdered.
Daniel had been snagged the moment their killer heard people headed to the alley and Bruce in his state of shock didn't realize it until it was far to late and could only scream in horror (from everything) as his baby brother is crying his name. (If you wanna make it even more heart wrenching, make it Danny's first time being able to say Bruce's name right and/or Bruce had said some mean things to Danny earlier after he accidentally broke something of Bruce's, something like 'I wish youd go away' or 'I never wanted a brother, you're such a bother!')
Bruce is being held by Alfred as some police officers are chasing down the Wayne's parents killer while some stay behind to see if they could do something.
Minutes turn to hours and as they wait, praying the police at least found Danny, Bruce is ridden with guilt. From his parents death to allowing his brother to be kidnapped.
Eventually the police return to give Alfred and Bruce the news. And it's not good.
The killer escaped and Danny was nowhere to be found.
And it would take many years before he would be found.
-x-x-
Bruce gets a call from Damian during school hours one day. When he answers he is greeted with Damian demanding him to get to the school and explain himself.
Confused Bruce asks what does he mean and Damian responds with
"The two new students in class today are the spitting images of you and I father! Either they are poorly created clones or you have more hidden blood children!"
-x-x-
Meanwhile the very students being discussed are calling up someone too
"Ellie? Dan? What's wrong? You better not have made too much chaos already, I just paid for the uniforms for that place."
"DAD! I THINK ANOTHER ONE OF THE FRUITLOOPS FAILED CLONES SOMEHOW SURVIVED!"
"What?"
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Queer secondary adolescence and Stolas
(I keep forgetting to put this up here)
Ok, so Stolas being teen dad is one of the reasons I get annoyed when people say he's too horny with Blitz. Or that his relationship is too dramatic and teenager-y.
He's a queer guy who never got to be a teenager, didn't get to have a first boyfriend, or explore who he was. Or do any of the normal stuff most straight teenagers get to do.
His family stuffed him in the closet, forced him to have child, and gave him an abusive wife as jailer.
(He around 36, with a 17 year old daughter. 36−17=19 when Octavia was born. Likely married at 18).
He's got some chatting up to do.
Up till now his whole life's been about Via, and mitigating Stella's abuse to hid it from Via.
That's left him barely hanging on, taking an increasing amount of antidepressants; and singing lullabies about not being sure he'll make it till Via's grown up.... 🙁
There's this thing called second adolescence that alot of queer people experience, when they come out later in life.
It happens when they're weren't allowed to do normal teenage things at the right age. So things like having crushes, go on first dates, have extremely anxious dramatic relationships. As well just be a normal horny teenager.
Stolas got to do none of that. So he's doing it now.
He's also pretty obviously an autistic guy (separate post ), who didn't get well socialized as a child.
Blitz appears to have been his first and only really friend.
Stolas is not great at social cues. (He's so happy to be able to help with his special interest, but does realise his tone is upsetting Ozzie).
Even with Via he struggles to understand her. She needs to tell her dad flat out what she needs.
When she tries to be subtle, and snark he assumes it's just her being a moody teen. And that she'll enjoy loo loo land when she loosen up a bit.
Because of this lack Stolas mostly fills in gaps in his social experience with masking.
Such copying Gabriel hairstyle from helluva novella to get ready for his first ever date.
Following Blitz's lead of what to do in an uncomfortable situation.
And trying to match the energy of how Blitz first came on to him.
(He's definitely getting better at it from Blitz reaction).
There's also an idea in CBT called reparenting your inner child. Which about giving yourself some the support, and experiences you missed out on because of abuse.
Stolas needs to go through his secondary adolescence as part of his recovery from his abuse.
So let Stolas be a little horny weirdo. 😛
PS this one will brake you heart. Stolas is standing fully in both these pictures.
You can see how much he's grown by her light switch.
Kid hasn't even reached his full adult height yet when he had to have a kid.
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It’s been clear that the Tanizakis aren’t siblings from the very beginning
here’s some evidence now that it’s been confirmed canon…
everyone who’s read irl Tanizaki’s book knew that Junichiro & Naomi weren’t siblings as soon as they introduced themselves
BUT just because the Tanizakis aren’t siblings doesn’t mean you can’t feel uncomfortable about them. if you feel uncomfortable, GOOD. that’s exactly what they want
the Tanizakis, Mori— they all use these disturbing ruses to disarm or distract people in order to protect themselves, or to accomplish their goals. this is a writing device that asagiri commonly employs as a way to parallel the irl literature (it’s actually ingenious)
there are 4 main indicators that have always made it clear to me that Junichiro & Naomi are not siblings:
1. most obviously— their character designs. Harukawa is extremely intentional with character designs, & she very intentionally made Naomi & Junichiro look nothing alike
their eye shapes are purposely different
their color palettes are contrasting
even their differing styles of clothing have meaning
this was all done so that the audience could PLAINLY see that they’re not related— so that WE know that they’re lying when they say they ARE related
2. how the people around them respond to their act.
the general reaction is “don’t question it”— which is exactly what they want. “be distracted by how uncomfortable you feel so that you look away from what we’re hiding” (this is likely a protective measure)
3. most importantly, this is meant to parallel irl Tanizaki’s book “Naomi,” where the main character Joji picks up Naomi to raise her into his ideal woman, but since she's so young (& a minor) they call each other cousins (Joji makes no sexual advances on young Naomi btw)
however, his plan backfires because when Naomi gets older & they get married, she flips the script on him & manipulates HIM so that he's under her thumb (which is why bsd Tanizaki is at a domineering Naomi's mercy). Joji let her have her way because of his masochistic tendencies
4. lastly is the emphasis that Asagiri and the Tanizakis themselves put on calling each other siblings.
over & over, it’s “my brother this” & “my sister that”
like they’re desperately trying to convince us that it’s true (“don’t let your lying eyes deceive you”)
here are just a few of many examples from the light novels…
again, if you’ve read “Naomi” you knew that Junichiro & Naomi weren’t siblings as soon as they introduced themselves
just like if you’ve read irl Mori’s works, it’s clear that bsd Mori isn’t a pedophile
just like if you’ve read No Longer Human you know that Dazai’s an unreliable narrator. he makes you think he’s a bad person bc he believes he’s a bad person, but those around him see him differently (btw this doesn’t mean he’s never done anything “bad,” though bsd isn’t about morality— but that’s another discussion)
anyway, i’m so excited for the Tanizakis backstory to be revealed so that we can better understand why they use this defense!!
also let this be a reminder to READ THE LITERATURE if you’re able to!! even reading synopses & analyses of the coordinating books makes bsd make much more sense 🥹
reminder that this how you’re supposed to react while reading bsd:
also, if you’re interested in a post explaining how Mori isn’t a pedo, i wrote this analysis on twt. OR you can read this document that one of my moots sent me (remember: analyzing a character does NOT mean you condone any actions they may or may not commit!)
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