#it's 2 AM I'm dying
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Me: Surely eating double stuffed Oreos won't hurt my stomach THIS time, right? :)
Narrator: The Oreos did, in fact, destroy her stomach
#guys I am literally shitting and crying rn#why did I think that was okay. WHY#that's one of the foods that has made me sick before#but since when has that ever stopped me#honestly I deserve this lol#but still OWWWWW#it hurts so much#it's 2 AM I'm dying#gonna be a long night 🙃#IBS#gastrointestinal issues
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Today's performance with Wang Yifei, Zuo Yiping and Guo Hongxu <3 LC-mu knows how to resurrect me, my mental health is holding only thanks to them.
#my art#when no one got me I know lc mu got me#damn I was in my dying mode and THEY JUST BROUGHT ME FUN#UGHHHHHHH i love them so much#link click#shiguang dailiren#shiguang#lu guang#cheng xiaoshi#qiao ling#for the last few months I touched a pen maybe 2 or 3 times#the world is about to collapse and if I die tomorrow I am happy to be alive today where such a thing as this musical exists#I still hardly find a will to draw even though I know I have a lot of stuff to be drawn#but I just...can't.#trying again and again for nothing#so now I'm just happy it inspired me enough for this little piece#i still want to believe things will be better
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thinking about how eiji's a pole vaulter and how ash talks about eiji "flying" and how eiji's associated with bird imagery and how eiji's free (unlike ash) and how eiji comes in on a plane and leaves on a plane and how ash cannot fly, ash cannot be free, how nyc is ash's prison, and how ash is the leopard who dies climbing the mountain, unable to live at such elevation, how he was trying to reach the sky and be free but was always stuck to the earth, how he chose to die instead of climbing back down, how he chose to die where he could see the sky and hope and freedom almost like a bird with eiji's letter right in front of him rather than letting everything go wrong and ruin it once again, how eiji's a failed pole vaulter anyway, how a bad fall ruined his career and grounded him (physically and emotionally), how it took flying to america and meeting ash and needing to save him and skip for him to try flying again, how he landed hard and harsh and still the thought of that escape compelled ash to protect eiji at all costs because if he could fly that means something to him, even if he doesn't think he can fly, how eiji is the manifestation of his hope and how when he breaks and asks eiji to stay with him a while he folds himself over his legs and weighs him down and traps him and grounds him, how ash fights like hell to keep eiji alive not because he thinks he can be like him (hopeful, flying, innocent), but because he makes him forget the gravity of his situation, and so he can see eiji fly again. how he wants to see him escape. how eiji is a bird and ash is a wildcat and how ash never once saw eiji as prey. how eiji never saw ash as a predator. how it is eiji's naivete that first endears ash to him, how it is his freedom and flight and removal from darkness and his ability to leave that darkness that really roots eiji in ash's blood as something essential to him keeping on living in this hell of nyc. how it is that distance from the violence and that hope for the future that ash chooses to surround himself in as he dies. how ash dies in a dream because he feels more than anything that he can't fly like eiji, that he can never leave. how his violence is a part of him and will be forever, how it weighs him down. how he wants to enjoy the view from the mountainside rather than looking up from the ground below. as if they can both fly. as if he is with him up there and not grounded. eye-to-eye with what he can't have, seeing eiji's homeland: the sky. how he dies trying to reach the top because he couldn't take retreating and trying again. how ash, tired and tired and tired and convinced it will go on forever if he crawls back down the mountain, chooses to close his life deluged in eiji, in eiji's insistence that they can fly together, in eiji's hope for him and for them, in eiji's beautiful dream. how ash dies without trying to realize that dream. how ash, in dying, destroys it.
#banana fish spoilers#I'M HAVING A FUCKING MOMENT#mutual reblogged exactly one (1) piece of ash fanart and sent me on A Multiple Hour Long Thing and now im rewatching it lol#yes i am only on episode 2 yes i am still going to write big long analysis posts ANYWAY#whatever hope this makes sense. anyway#banana fish#okumura eiji#ash lynx#asheiji#hhhhh i can't believe i've only watched this twice in like what 5.5 years?? sheesh#anywayyyyyyy i care about them a lot ok. god#and yes i DO kinda have beef with the decision to kill ash off at the end but it really does say so much About his character#that he chose to die in the way that he did even though he's been throwing his life away since episode 1#dying in peace in comfort in solitude rather than in some chaotic battlefield.... ough...... in the peace eiji alone could give him.....#anywayss i relate to ash a little more than i should so. this one's for us cool guy bottoms up#edit i uh.... i forgot it was a leopard.... in the story..... but whatever it doesn't really affect the symbolic meaning it's just embarras#ing that i forgot >;/
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but when they're out on that river bank alone, what javier should be loyal to doesn't feel as confusing anymore
#also known as 'he wants so badly to run away with his boyfriend and marry him and live happily ever#after'#but his commitment to dutch and the gang breaks his heart#i want them to be happy SO BAAAD SO BAD IM GOINGN TO THROW YP#also the top right one comes w a headcanon#which is that kieran can only bathe if javier is there (and only javier) because otherwise he's too terrified of being k*lled for either bei#ng trans or just in general because he's alone#so that's why he's usually stinky#he really hates being stinky but he doesn't consider it worth dying over#anyway i love them so bad and their little fishing dates#kieran infodumps the whole time and javier feels so lucky to be alive because he knows kieran doesn't talk around anyone else near as much#if at all#javier knows 99% of the fish knowledge but he never interrupts and is always happy to listen to kieran yap about every other topic too#i need to put javi in an 'i ❤️ my autistic boyfriend' shirt#ok i'll shut up now#also i know this composition looks like total shart i'm literally the worst at doing them </3 be nice to me#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#kieran duffy#javier escuella#javieran#am i allowed to say that i own this ship#considering i literally made it LOL i feel so proud even tho it also makes me miserable that i bascially have no one to talk to abt them#image#art#hero draws sometimes
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TF2 7TH COMIC SPOILERS AHEAD
REPEAT, SPOILERS AHEAD
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How am I supposed to keep on with my life after this?
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My parents
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Hehe Engineer
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WHAT IS THAT HAIRCUT, THE ONLY THING I WON'T GET OVER IS THAT, THAT ATROCITIE
I don't even recognise him...
#tf2 heavy#medic tf2#tf2 spy#tf2 medic#tf2 scout#tf2 heavymedic#tf2 engineer#tf2 pyro#tf2#tf2 comics#tf2 7th comic#ITS OUT#I'M OUT OF CONTROL#heavy tf2#heavymedic#scout tf2#scout#what the fuck#im not okay#i need therapy#im dying#team fortress medic#medic team fortress 2#team fortress sniper#team fortress two#what am i doing#WHAT IS THAT HAIRCUT#CUT THAT
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the training montage in crossroads re-ignited a headcanon i had of geralt waking up and doing gymnastics, performing kickflips and mid-air spins around on a fencepost outside an hour before sunrise to ‘limber up,’ and bleary-eyed dandelion wrapping himself up in a blanket to be like "heyyy... what the hell are you doing 💖"
#if you're wondering what kind of moves he's doing he's standing on a fencepost and doing your typical flexibility stretches#but alternating between reps of stretches with kickflips from one post to the other#like ciri training in kaer morhen#i'm not going to lie witchers are cool but fandom ruined them a bit for me and now crossroads has given me that childlike wonder back#because fandom heard 'physical ability and stamina' and did you know what with it#but the agility and precision of witchers remain so underrated. as part of the deconstruction of the superhuman trope#geralt doesnt really show off as much in the books and does cool stuff only when needed but#like when (mentioned) he hit the rat in the darkness with his thrown fork... as a party trick#and killing renfri's men in the market at blaviken... and killing the scoia'tael on thanedd#and RUNNING ALONG THE BRIDGE on the battle of the bridge#and the nilfgaardians were amazed and they WERE AMAZED AS THEY DIED!!!!!!!!#and killing rience's mercenaries who didn't know who they were fighting so they were like hey what the fuck... what the fuck#i'm literally back to witcher 101 basics here. nothing interesting to contribute but like a little boy i am just smiling and saying#'dude geralt of rivia is soooo cool he can like fight a bunch of guys with his sword'#half of me wants to seek deeper themes and half of me is just like YOOO GERALT SO COOL !!#listen... there is a time to plant a time to reap#a time to analyze and a time to geek#i should probably just watch a bunch of ballet or best of gymnastics comps and i'll find what i'm looking for#also sorry CROSSROADS OF RAVENS SPOILERS artamon dying was a hilarious moment i know it was like oooh this will have consequences#but it was nice to have the evil antagonist get merked in the sme chapter as he's fucking introduced#and not even by mature experienced geralt but by some literal eighteen year-old who he tried pulling a fast one on#1) i was happy that sapkowski didn't drag it out terribly. this was humorous and refreshing after in season of storms#2) geralt almost riding off but having a feeling to go back... listen i know it's so cliche and it's giving lady of the lake chapter 4#where he eavesdrops in the caves under castle zubarran and just happens to hear stefan skellen reveal that vilgefortz was in castle stygga#but it also was satisfying to me because after reading the hussite trilogy#where reynevan (stupid and young man; like geralt here) DOES NOT LEARN after several. SEVERAL lessons#i was honestly worried for a second that we were going to get a reynevan moment. but no. because this is geralt and not reynevan#and seeing geralt develop critical thinking skills in real time was not only satisfying but a bit funny#and yes nostalgiabaiting me#like omggggg yesss his detective skills yesss that's so geralt of him
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being alive is annoying and stupid
#some kind of moodboard for the kind of vibe i've been on#didnt draw this because i was lazy but imagine like a 2 panel comic where i'm just standing still and then im just falling overfor no reaso#just like that guy from severance i am dying of Unknown Ailment#crammerposting#blood#ig#blood🤤#i just know a hematogen bar would fix me
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HAPPY PRIDE!!!
Gente I know is no longer 1th of June but I really wanted to made something for the first day of Pride but didn't know what and than Full Moon happened and here we are
This was made in a rush, lit I made it everything today, but hey, is not half bad
DRAWING HELLUVA/HAZBIN CHARACTERS IS TOO HARD FOR ME
Not totally happy, I feel like I cannot capture the beuty sillyness of my gay clown just the right way, but practice make the master or something like that
If you notice I add some details to make it even gayer if even possible, So proud in that front
DYING
Very proud of this Sneak Peak I made myself
#SEND HELP IM DYING#joking#but I'm usually sleep by now#is like 2 am and I go to bed 23PM max#my soul is living my body#HAPPY PRIDE#I love my silly gay clown#helluva boss#fizzarolli#helluva boss fanart#dont be harsh on me pls#this is already a hard thing todraw for me#and Im also sleep deprived#Im gonna sleep#bye#there's something more gay than cowboy boots?#rainbow pants#nah jk#is the hat#that fricking hat is the gayest#my art
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This actually makes me sick, goodness gracious
#im not prepared#like at all#I'm dying rn#i cant even start watching it yet#😭😭#arcane#arcane league of legends#arcane lol#arcane season 2#jinx arcane#vi arcane#jinx and vi#i opened Netflix to see the new season in the flesh and thought “huh this cover looks familiar”#went to Google to see if i was losing it#i wasn't#but i am now
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got a hair cut yesterday and i realized my hair is now finally at a length that i can do a half bun again. you know, a slutty little half bun like the one crowley has in season 1? gender euphoria here i come
i love having shorter hair again i am thriving
#i also dyed it purple which is a first#but that's kind of beside the point#however for those silly enough to read my unhinged tags#i've got the under half of my hair dyed and it's been pink for 2 years#but i decided to switch it up and now it's purple and i'm kind of very extremely here for it#but!#point is#short hair and half up buns give me sm euphoria i am hyped#good omens#crowley#good omens shitpost#long hair crowley
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this week is making me wish I could spontaneously human combust with no lasting consequences
#I have been spending every waking non-working hour working at church#getting almost nothing done because everything I do is dependent on electricians and construction guys#and I've only washed my hair 3 times since getting it dyed and already having to wash it in cold water is making me want to die#I'm sorry ik we aren't supposed to talk in suicidal hyperbole I do not actually want to die#but all of this is enough that I don't know how else to describe how frustrated I am#I just don't want to be here. I want to be freaking DONE just let me have a freaking moment's peace#and a customer today kept coming back in accusing my coworkers of fraud and theft (all of it was on camera and none of what he was#accusing all of them of was even plausible but ''my package tracking isn't working so you must have stolen the package''#reader. he had the wrong fucking tracking number#he was AT THE POLICE STATION to file a report against us when my boss finally got ahold of him to tell him he had the wrong tracking info#and it was mad busy at work#my dad has told me I'll probably have to stay at church until like 2 or 3am tomorrow to get everything set up#and then I need to be there by like 6am to set up on Sunday morning#at this point I don't think I'm going to make it out alive. how do you survive on that little sleep and NO alone time whatsoever?#the fact that I don't get any alone time is what's truly killing me like. even my MOM who likes to be busy all the time#gets to have alone time. but not me. not this week#and my hair is just the last straw. I HATE having to kneel over the tub to wash it in the faucet with cold water#it's such a fucking hassle#weeks that make me certain I can't ever get my hair dyed again
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Me: I should probably try and finally farm all those mushroom stem blocks I need for my MC End Island build project considering there isn't really a fast way to get a lot of it--
Also me: But what if I instead started to plan something for a new Ocean Monument build project? 👀
#Ofc. this is a big ol' WIP. so some things shown here will more than likely change#(the glass on the wall. the wall design overall. the oxidized copper that should be regular copper. etc.)#It's somewhat similar to what I built on the End Island of a different Survival World of mine.#The difference here however is that I want there to be 1. Even more houses. And 2. A sort of alley market area.#And also transport villagers to the build once it's finished + won't result in any of them dying without supervision.#Overall. I wanna use copper blocks (both oxidized and not) and quartz blocks.#even if I'm getting PTSD flashbacks from that other End Island build of mine that used a ton of quartz and how frustrating it was to get.#Oh. and the floor of the big wall will basically be the same height as the water surface.#I guess the biggest challenge here- if I am going to have villagers live there- is wtf to do with the guardians that'll spawn.#Hm... Idk ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I'll figure it out at some point. Maybe.#my thoughts#Minecraft
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giggling kicking my feet twirling my hair spaghetti
#loki#mobius#loki season 2#tom hiddleston#owen wilson#yea this is what the show is about if you haven't seen it#lokius#I guess?#myart#collab with iku iku! they aren't on tumblr yet#don't worry I'm working on it so get ready to follow them#bc they are amazing#YES we used a ref YES I am dying to see if anyone else has ever encountered it in the wild#I know I have followers and mutuals who might have...#I ate the loki show and now I have MCU brainworms again thanks everyone for your patience and flexibility 八(^□^*)
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Catelyn pls 😭 Catelyn. Cat. Girl. Come on now.
#HE'S THINKING ABOUT HOW HE AND JAIME LANNISTER HAVE THAT IN COMMON CATLEYN!!!!#did you literally forget he is your hostage#he hasn't#these two quotes have nothing in between what else could it be about.#cat i am begging you put 2 and 2 together please I'm dying over here#asoiaf#theon greyjoy
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" That is NOT my name and you damn well know it! "
I realised I never actually posed this, because I was going to post it with companion peice of who he's talking to. and I never finished said companion piece. So have some old art of my tempest, Lightbringer/ Pirate Captain, Merianus Blacktide!
Sometime during what would either be before or during S1, Meri's childhood friend turned flame legion convert starts harassing his friends who're actively in the legions to try and get his attention, because he's Obsessed with him. It eventually culminates in a confrontation during a ritual Ovidius Suneater is trying to conduct, Ovidius asking Meri to join him, to be His. Meri ends up tackling Ovidius into the surrounding lava (with a frost aura up to protect himself, he's not that stupid) and Ovidius ends up with a mess up arm and the ritual is wrecked. Needless to say when Ovidius eventually leaves the cult he's in and makes a deal with the Whispers, Meri is absolutely furious to hear about it and wants Ovidius kept as far away from him as possible.
#gw2#guild wars 2#charr#Merianus Blacktide#I am at least 90% sure i never posted this i hope i'm right sdfgh#Anyway Meri's childhood friend gets got by Flame and it's extremely culty and destroys any friendship they had forever#even if Ovidius has infinite regrets later he's aware that bridge is burned#and Meri is just angry. So insanely angry one of his first friends in the legions treated him that way and joined flame to boot#given cub Meri had constant fears of his dad dying to flame (they were very close unlike a lot of charr parent-cub situations)#Anyways I should explain Ovidius better sometime himself he's just asdfg a Can Of Worms that likely needs a few content warning on it ^^'#because I very much used the flame legion as a Cult for Ovidius' story and it's a Rough Time For Everyone.
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On the train of your last ask, what are your thoughts on dragons sexuality?
Personally I think he’s Demi something (more attracted to personality than looks or gender)
Honestly because we don't know that much about the guy it's kind of hard for me to form an opinion, and if Crocodad Real then we're going to find out his orientation eventually (since we gotta find out if that was a contributing factor to the Dragodile Divorce (assuming they're divorced)) so I'm kind of okay with not forming any headcanons, since the headcanon could get thrown out the window
If anything, what interests me is how Dragon's orientation could impact the story-- like when I've discussed the Dragodile Divorce I have mainly focused on speculating how Crocodile would've felt about it, but how Dragon felt about that is interesting too
Because if he's straight then yeah that probably contributed to The Divorce, but how did Dragon feel about it? Learning that the love of his life is now happier than ever before after transitioning and being happy for him, while also losing the version of Crocodile that he fallen in love to begin with? No longer feeling thet draw to him because of the thing that has brought him so much joy and comfort? Knowing that even if they did take down the WG the family Dragon had hoped to have would never come to be, because their relationship would now end? And that it would be on some level his fault, because he's not attracted to Crocodile anymore?
Like even if Dragon took things well and the divorce happened "on good terms", it would've been sad for Dragon too.
But then there's a slightly juicier option, because what if Dragon was bi, but the Divorce happened under unpleasant circumstances (be it Dragon lashing out or things getting violent because he couldn't recognize Crocodile) and he didn't figure it out until it was too late?
Because you'd still have Dragon going through some if not all of those previously mentioned feelings, of having to come to terms with the version of his significant other whom he had fallen in love with no longer existed, the family had pictured in his mind would never become a thing, that those things were be kind of his fault and that he had hurt Crocodile deeply in the process. But then he'd be looking at some news article of Crocodile's most recent heroic stunt, seeing his handsome face with that usual, unbothered expression, and realizing he still loved him? That he still wanted to be with him, wished they were together, even now that Crocodile was a far more handsome man than he was? And then the realization that he's bi hitting him like a fucking truck But it's too late. The divorce already happened. He already hurt Crocodile too deeply. Knowing Croc, he had probably already moved on. There was no fixing it, the relationship was over. At least for now, trying to go see Croc could be dangerous due to the WG and not wanting to risk the WG finding out about them and The Kid and Croc would probably be furious if Dragon even risked that at this point, after what he had done. Oh, and then Crocodile killed thousands of innocent people attempting to usurp a country by manufacturing a civil war. Something Dragon can't forgive. (Not to mention, hearing he had been taken down by their own son... Oof)
But what if despite all that, and not knowing the full circumstances behind what had happened (like the fact that Crocodile didn't know who the hell Luffy was), Dragon still loved Crocodile? What then?
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#Moon posting#Asks#Dragodile#OP Meta#Answering an unusual amount of asks today because 1) Compensating for being AFK for a while and#2) The Tumblr News are deeply fucking upsetting and I need something to lighten my mood desperately ngl#So clearing my ask box it is wheeeee#Sorry this is a little incoherent lmao#Something about Dragon looking at Crocodile and being like ''why the fuck are you more handsome than me'' cracks me up okay#When your transgender husband gives you gender envy#I just love the story telling potential bi Dragon would give us because like. Yeah if they're straight then the relationship is joever#But if he was bi then there's that theoretical possibility they could maybe reconcile and get back together#And the fucking drama? The possibilities? I'm so here for that man give it to me#Luffy and/or Ivankov telling Dragon to get over himself and admit that he still loves Crocodile and wants to be with him? Gimme#Dragon taking a deadly blow to protect Crocodile because he doesn't want to lose him again? It's a trope for a reason#OR Dragon craddling a dying Crocodile begging him not to die because he still loves him? Oh yes#Crocodile trying to sneak away while everyone celebrates the destruction of the World Government#And Dragon showing up like ''I don't wanna lose you again pls don't go ;_;''#And Croc telling him to either piss off OR to hurry up and get on the ship so they can leave before Luffy finds out#I am. Obsessed. Dragodile Retirement Romance let's fucking go#THE POSSIBILITIES MAN. Like I don't wanna get my hopes up because I doubt we'll get Canon Gay Dragodile BUT IT COULD BE SO GOOD
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