#it's 1am. not okay rn
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tw : obsessive behavior (stalking, recording without consent)
honestly been thinking about perv changbin with a fleshlight and how he would fuck into it so desperately as he thinks of you. you've been avoiding his calls and texts ever since the bad break-up the two of you recently dealt with, but he just can't seem to let you go. he's constantly spamming your phone, asking you to come back to him. he even sent you a voicemail of him just going at it with the toy, whining and moaning your name, telling you how much he misses you. he went as far as showing up to your workplace and watching you work for a while, following you to the bathroom or cafeteria during your lunch break and sitting at a distance, watching you until you finished and went back to your work area. sometimes he even goes back to your house when he knows it's time for you to get ready for bed, watching you through your bedroom window as you come out of the bathroom, fresh out of the shower, wrapped in a towel. he's always got his phone ready to record you if you decide to use that trusty vibrator of yours, cause he's got the perfect view of your sopping cunt, thanks to your bed being angled towards the window he's peeping through. he knows it's so sick and twisted and completely wrong, but he can't help it, not when you're not even making any effort to stop him, especially not when he can clearly hear you moaning his name as you turn the vibrator up one more setting. you can bet he recorded that as well, and he plays the video on loop as he ruts up into the fleshlight, imagining that it's him making you cum like that, although he knows that it didn't feel half as good as when he made you cum around his cock, because despite the relationship not working out, you both know that no toy will ever satisfy you the way you were able to satisfy each other.
#solieverse: planet reverie#my brain is going 100mph help#it's 1am. not okay rn#skz smut#changbin smut#stray kids smut#seo changbin smut#stray kids hard thoughts#skz hard thoughts#changbin hard thoughts
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a lifetime of indentured servitude
used this frame from the mv of "femme fatale" by kedarui as ref for this piece ! just thought that it fit them perfectly orz
#clownzy#branzypierce#branzy#branzycraft#clownpierce#lifesteal#lifesteal smp#mcyt#favourarts#TARGET AUDIENCE ???? TARGET AUDIENCE HELLOOOOOO ??????#i trapped him in the safest base vid changed my life#o7 doing my work in Continuing The Fandom as branzy said . np king#idk what possessed me to do a full fledge illust for this like#i usually dont have the patience to work on the same piece for days in a row#but for this one I Just Did . Huh ....#OKAY LIFE UPDATE college is crazy guys im like 2 weeks in and thank god we have a cat in our dorm i wouldve gone crazy by now if#it werent for the little fella#also its like almost 1am n i probably should sleep now ermmm LMAO#idk wat else 2 say my brain is not working rn it rlly is sleepy time#okay gn everyone i hope u enjoy the toxic yaois zzz
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Obsessing over the concept of Percy having so many dreams about Nico dying in front of him in different ways at camp or on quests and he has no idea what to do about them so he starts trying to get Nico to hang out with him and tries asking him in subtle ways about what's going on, trying to figure out if Nico is in dangerous without possibly freaking him out about Percy's dreams (who would feel safe if someone kept having dreams about them being murdered by faceless entities in orange shirts or killed by monsters)i
It goes nowhere. Nico is apparently fine, flitting between camp and the underworld and New Rome as he wishes. With more underworld kids coming into CHB for the summer, he's started spending more and more time there though, and all Percy can think of orange shirts and Nico's blood drenched in them
Eventually he caves and drives to camp, hunting down and cornering Clovis, who's passed out in a sunbeam like a cat. Percy steps into the grass and kicks him gently. Clovis wakes slow and tilts his face towards Percy. He stretches long, yawns loud. Percy stifles a responding yawn and squats.
"What's up, Percy?" Clovis hums.
Percy tugs at his fingers as he finds the right words. "I keep having shitry dreams," he decides on. Clovis arches a brow. Percy sits back and pinches the bridge of his nose. "What does it mean when you keep having dreams about someone dying?"
Baby blue blanket creasing, Clovis cocks his head. "Who's dying?"
Percy grits his teeth. "Does it matter?"
"Well, some dreams are just subconscious processing and some are my siblings being weird." Clovis blinks slow. People compare him to cows a lot, that baby softness on his cheeks and easy going demeanour. But Percy sees a cat more than anything. Domesticated and pampered. "And some are prophetic."
The grit of his teeth begins to hurt his jaw. "How do you know which one is which?"
Clovis hums and sits up slowly. He reaches down to his toes and flexes with a long groaning grunt. He gives a little sigh as he pulls away. "Well, I'd have to ask them if they're doing things. As for subconscious processing, that's just what's going on in your brain. And prophecies..." He hums thoughtfully. "I guess you wouldn't know until it happens." With half-closed eyes, he faces Percy. His head lags to the side. "So is there anything going on your brain to worry about this person dying?"
"Well, there is now," Percy says through gritted teeth. Clovis laughs, a trilling dreamy sound. Percy glares at him. "Clovis."
He shrugs. "I can ask around tonight." He picks at a blade of grass. "Who is it?"
Behind them, Nico is calling out to someone. It makes Percy's skin crawl. Kids laugh and Nico laughs and Percy wants to grab him and hide him. Clovis's bright orange camp shirt makes him feel like a bull, caged up with some idiot waving a red flag in front of him. He needs to rush forward and break the things bothering him. Skewer them and feel their blood drip down his skin.
He's starting to lose his mind.
"It doesn't matter." He too aware that the gap between question and answer was too long.
Clovis isn't looking at him but he feels watched anyway. "It could," Clovis says. "But at least I know it's not Annabeth. Or Grover." Percy startles and Clovis's grin is soft. "If it was, you would have said it before you even sat down." He gives another big stretch then flops back on his blanket, rolling over into a warmer brighter patch of sun. "Actually, you'd say if it was anyone." He tucks his legs up into his chest. "You'd keep quiet because you don't want to worry them. Which means there's probably some real concern there."
His eyes slide fully shut and he doesn't speak again. Heart pounding, Percy watches his serene face. He doesn't like that Clovis picked him apart like that. But not much he can complain or deny in it.
Knees whining, he stands slow. Part of him misses the Achilles' Curse for that reason alone. He liked it more when his body didn't hurt because of constant strenuous activity and the passage of time. He runs a hand through his hair.
What is he supposed to do? Wait for Clovis to tell him that his siblings were being assholes for no reason? To sit down and meditate about the reason his mind was focused in on Nico dying in various ways? Or worry unendingly that the universe was giving him a sneak peek at the future and soon he'd be standing at Nico's memorial, trying to figure out which person around him was the killer?
"Percy!"
He startles and turns. His skin crawls as Nico jogs up to him. There's a little boy practically pinned to his side. The closet they grow, the more Percy wants to shove Nico down deep where no one can find him. Ocean depths. He'd like the darkness, Percy thinks. Then he slaps the thought away as his arms begin to rise, his gut yanking towards the beach.
"Hey." It comes out breathless and wispy. "What's up?"
Nico's smile is gentle. It makes Percy's stomach cramp, the idea of it gone forever, bled out on forest grass. "Joel and I were seeing if he could summon ghosts." He gazes down at the little boy still tucked into his side. The kid is looking at Clovis. "Might be a bit of a trial for him though."
When the kid doesn't stop looking at Clovis, Nico pinches his ear and he tucks his face into Nico's side instead. He gives a ragged breath but Nico's easygoing look doesn't change.
It flits to the top of his tongue, but Nico answers before Percy has a chance to open his mouth.
"Ker," he says, "is his mom."
There is little Percy has forgotten from any of his underworld adventures, including being chased by those spirits while trying to stop Ethan from escaping with the sword. Violent death and disease. Feasted on human flesh. They couldn't kill, but they could harm and give death a jumpstart.
Percy's shoulder gives a phantom throb at the reminder.
"Didn't know she'd be interested in having kids," he says.
Nico's lip twitches and his arm curved around Joel's shoulders tightens him closer. "He's technically adopted." Joel's face tilts further away from Percy. "She thought he was cute."
There's definitely more to that story that Percy doesn't know how to ask about, so he just agrees passively that Joel is cute and they move on. Joel doesn't speak to anyone but Nico or make eye contact. He's a barnacle on Nico's side.
All Percy can focus on is his bright orange shirt and the violent death that thrums in his veins and how close he is to Nico. It would be accidental, Percy thinks, if Joel killed him. It's clear he likes Nico. It would be accidental if Nico was torn to shreds.
Percy wonders how easy it would be to get water into his lungs from the bottle he drinks from, how suspicious it would be if he drowned on dry land. Quickly he leaves with rushed goodbye. His hands are already plunging into pockets for his keys. He doesn't hear Nico's goodbye.
That night he dreads his dreams more than ever.
Joel is there this time. His face is wet, half hidden in shadows. Nico is front of him, sword out, protective. Then things slip and it's not Nico and Joel anymore, but one older girl and two younger kids behind her. The kids look terrified but the girl is enraged. Her obsidian sword slashes at someone rushing forward.
The world is too bright, Percy thinks. There are no shadows. It's like the sun is standing in front of them.
The girl shouts and beats off a pair of people who charge at her. With snapped necks, they fall to the ground in front of her. She yells and shoves her sword into the ground.
It splits so easily. The grass trembles. The earth rumbles. Skeletal hands claw out of the ground. Hazy spectres join them. The girl turns and grabs the kids while people fight the entities she summoned. The world is so bright, but there's shadows at the edge of the sunlight. She won't stop running. One of the kids runs alongside her. The other is held in her arms.
The shadows twist and flex towards them. It's unable to spread into the light. They're closing in. The first kid is closer, free of the weight of another person. The shadows greet her but she stumbles to a sudden stop, spinning around and staring pleadingly at the girl Percy realizes is one of Nico's half-sisters from long before.
Are the kids' Joel's half-siblings? he wonders.
"Go!" the girl shouts. The kid hesitates but the girl shouts again, "GO!"
The shadows swallow the kid with a wispy black maw. The girl is almost there when the ground creaks and groans. It rumbles violently, separating and splitting at the very seams. The earth opens before her.
Percy can see the decision she makes before she makes it, jumping over a gap in the earth before it splits too wide. She doesn't stop running even as she tosses the other kid into the air. He screams, a bloodcurdling thing that chills Percy down to his bones.
The shadows catch him. And he's gone.
The girl pants, gripping her knees as she bends over. The earth stops quaking. There's a few seconds where the only sound is panting. But as the people they were fleeing from close in, the girl laughs breathlessly and turns around.
"Isn't it fun when we chase each other?" she says. "I think we should do that more."
The leader of the little group is some tall boy who looks like he's never smiled in his life. He's bulky. Each muscle bulges and he glares. The girl is unphased.
"How dare you?" he seethes.
She rolls her eyes. "Well, my dad protects their parents." She grins, eyes dark like the void. Her hands flex at her side. "Why shouldn't I protect them? Especially since you refuse to listen to reason." She gestures widely. "Just because Chthonic is in the title doesn't mean it's bad. Chthonic means dirt, earth." She just her chin towards one of the kids. "You are technically Chthonic." She shrugs. "Besides, you fucking morons, they're kids. What kind of dipshit is scared of little kids just because their dad picks up dead people for a living?"
Her arms haven't lowered from where she's spread them. Her hands flex again, each finger tapping in the air, one after the other. Percy can't hear anything else that's said. It all goes muffled. It's obvious arguing. Judging from the pulled weapons, there are threats abound.
Then the earth breaks.
It's not the same as the earthquake before. This is a complete cave-in, the ground falling out from under their feet. She's the only person who doesn't look terrified to be falling. They all disappear into darkness. Like teeth chomping, the earth slams back together and seals itself over.
Then there's his ceiling. His fan is going in fast circles, a soft whrrrrr.
Sweat is sticky against his neck. Oh, he thinks.
Violent death and disease being present at every meal, every training, every campfire song. Someone was probably unnerved by it. Unnerved by him. Nico's protective hold was a wall in front of the bomb. It needed to be broken down so the danger could be disposed of, bomb defused.
He doesn't know when he grabbed his phone. Only aware of it pressed to his ear by the ringing. It goes for a while. His stomach churns.
A tired "H'lo?" passes through.
His stomach doesn't settle. "Hey, Nico. Sorry." He glances at his clock and winces. "Did I wake up?"
Nico snorts. "No," he grumbles. "I'm a vampire." Quiet breathing, tense silence. "Percy? Why are we on the phone right now?"
"I..." Percy pauses. Glances up to his ceiling fan, still spinning in fast circles. "I just. Had a weird dream." Nico makes a "go on" noise. Percy bites his lip and leans against the wall, drawing his knees up to his bare chest. "Have any of your siblings had to..."
Fight against other campers? Run with a pair of kids people wanted to kill because they thought they were dangerous? Commit suicide to stop those from going after the kids once they were safely away somewhere else?
There's nothing good in those questions.
He closes his eyes. "What was camp like for your siblings? Before?"
"Uh." There's some rustling. "Not good. Most campers didn't trust us because of the whole Underworld children thing. Lucky for them, my dad doesn't really go around spawning kids on a monthly basis."
Percy snorted. His fingers wove themselves into his sheets so tight they started to go numb.
"But we didn't have a lot of friends. People avoided us."
Blood on dark grass flickers through Percy's mind. "Or killed you," he blurts out.
His mind shuts down at the words. He can't process what he's said, barely hearing the whrrr of his ceiling fan or the sound of his own breath. His skin floats away from him. Then pulls back solid when Nico says, "How did you know that?"
He swallows thickly. "Like I said. Weird dream."
"About my siblings being killed at camp?"
Nico viciously protecting Joel comes to mind and sticks in place. "No," he says after a beat. "Technically I think she committed murder-suicide."
"Which one?"
Percy hates that question. Sourness floods his tongue and he answers with a gritted, "I didn't get a name. She was fighting off other campers, trying to protect a couple other kids from getting hurt."
A sarcastic little laugh echoes through the receiver. "Yeah, that's happen more than once."
The sheets unwind from his numb fingertips. "Fuck."
"It's been over five thousand years, Percy," Nico says. "Things tend to repeat themselves a few times." Percy doesn't know what to say to that. "Why were you dreaming about one of my sisters anyway?"
"I don't know," he says. It's the truth. He has no idea. But he has theories. And he has fears. "She was just there."
Nico is quiet. The sound of his breathing is steady, and Percy hones in on it. He matches each inhale and exhale with his own breaths.
When Nico does speak again, he almost sounds far away. "That's odd." There's a creak and a thump, like feet hitting the tile. "Is that why you were talking to Clovis?"
No. "Yeah."
"Interesting." His voice is faint, before suddenly loud and fast. "Hey, I have to go."
Percy's stomach churns violently. "But-"
His words speed fast together as he says, "I have to go do something, I'll call you back later."
There's no dial tone, just a loud clattering that makes Percy's heart drop directly into his stomach. Clovis's sleepy voice eclipses to max volume in his head. And prophecies... I guess you wouldn't know until it happens.
A dozen thoughts blur through his mind as he hikes up the window to the fire escape outside his bedroom. He should tell his mom he's leaving, he should call Grover, he should call Annabeth, he should make someone check on Nico.
He gropes around the top of his dresser for a spare dog whistle then blows through it hard and sharp as he clambours out through the window, shirtless, shoeless, and panicking.
Mrs. O'Leary barks up at him from the dark alleyway. Shadows still cling to her dark fur. He doesn't even bother racing down the stairs. Just throws himself over the railing. Nico's name echoes in his head like a broken record as he falls. Soft fur grips tight in his hands. He doesn't feel the pain of landing, shadows swallowing them both before he can even recognize that he did.
It's strange to appear just a few feet away from a gaggle of kids threatening your cousin and the kid he's chosen to protect. Behind the group yelling words Percy can't hear under the roar of blood in his ears, there's a couple other kids - twins of Erebus - sneaking towards them.
They get close.
But they get caught.
Nico snaps forward and Percy's hitting the ground before he understands what's happening. It goes by so fast, he can barely remember his own actions. Everyone's still breathing. But banged up heavily, or unconscious. Joel is crying wheezy little tears while his aunts try to comfort him, and Nico...
Nico is gripped so tight in Percy's arms that Percy worries he might've broken something. He relaxes slow. Nico detaches. Mrs. O'Leary's hot breath huffs against the top of his head. Nico gives her a pat on the nose, not looking at Percy as he turns to Joel and checks in on him.
Percy's watching the slump of bruised campers before him. His blood feels too hot. Sweat drips down his back but his skin is too dry. He takes a step forward. A hand shoves against his chest and he gazes down at void eyes.
The world slams back into place.
He breathes.
"You are ocean water," Nico says very quietly. "Not blood and human viscera."
His mouth is dry. There's something inside him that wants. "Water is water."
"Not like that," Nico says. Percy swallows and steps back. Nico lowers his hand. Then turns to face Joel and the twins. His voice brightens up, feigned cheeriness, as he marches towards them. "Joel, do you want to go live with my brother's cult?"
Distantly Percy feels like he remembers Nico saying something about that once, but he can't remember what, so his mind draws question marks he doesn't ask as he twists on his heel. Nico crouches, speaking in a steady soft tone. The girls are holding each other's hands. They spare looks for the people who were scared of their nephew, and spare looks towards Percy. It's the same look.
They look away when Nico says something to them, vanishing hand-in-hand into shadows. Nico whistles and Mrs. O'Leary approaches with heavy steps. Joel hugs her leg. His ragged breaths are wheezed tired and weary into her fur. Nico keeps a steady hand on his back.
There is no murder-suicide this time. Instead the shadows swell and deposits the twins, with Mr. D and Chiron beside them. Nico cuts them off when Chiron tries to question him. He takes long way out with the girls on either side of him towards the Apollo cabin.
He doesn't follow the girls back into the woods with healers on their tail. Instead he opens the door to the Hades cabin and sits on a wooden chair. There's a buzz of white noise from a nearby noise machine. Otherwise everything is quiet. Nico's phone sits where it had been dropped to the ground minutes before.
His blood still feels too hot.
It feels like hours later when Nico walks in. However, the clock on the wall says it's only been twenty minutes. Joel is tucked up into his side. He goes down without a fight into Nico's bed. Lets himself be tucked in and drift off. Then Nico pulls another chair around and settles down in front of Percy, straddling the chair backwards. His arms cross over the top. His chin rests on folded wrists.
They watch each other. Then Nico moves to rest his cheek on his wrists instead. "You've been having those dreams for a while?"
Percy makes an affirmative noise.
"They haven't really been about my siblings, have they?"
He doesn't answer that. Instead, he says, "If people kept doing things like this, why didn't you guys make your own place?"
"We did," Nico says. "A few times actually. But no one liked that they didn't know what we were doing. So they made us come back to be hated and suffer." He snorts. "The old adage - keeps your friends close and enemies closer."
Percy doesn't laugh. "Why did she adopt him?"
Nico lifts his head. "Some things had happened when she found him. She took an interest and gave him her blessing."
"What things?"
Nico looks to the ceiling. "Things that help her fill her fridge with food to eat." His eyes flicker back down to Percy. "Only Chiron and Mr. D know the specifics. But Joel is fine." He glances over his shoulder. "He's a good kid. No one needs to be scared of him." He turns back to Percy. "Now answer my question."
Blood still too hot, Percy stares at a spot just above Nico's head. Then grits his teeth. "I don't like watching you die."
"I'm not scared of dying," Nico says. "None of us are. It's why it's always been so easy to take care of them. Take the dislike, take the insults, take the threats."
Percy stares at him. Then repeats, "I don't like watching you die."
Nico stares back. "You're not going to."
It's hard to believe that. So he leans forward, reaching out to grab the top of Nico's chair and pull it down until he can feel Nico's cool breath against his skin. "If I keep having those dreams, I'm gonna take a page from your dad's book and kidnap you."
Nico's lips twitch, but his voice stays even. "Then I guess you should keep in mind to make room in your dungeon because I'll be bringing a few people along." He lifts a hand and strokes a thumb down the side of Percy's face. "I heard your siblings were pretty protective too." His fingers slip away. Percy's skin yearns. "Something about how the ocean drowns what it loves and drowns what it hates."
That's not protection, Percy thinks. It's possession.
But he doesn't say that outloud.
Not yet.
He slowly lets the chair fall backwards until it lands stable on all four legs. He wants to deny Nico's statement about drowning. But he has - at least what he hates. Ahkyls, the mountain lion that tried to attack Grover, those kids. Only one success. But the want, the need...
"I should head home," he says slowly. It takes him a minute to process his words and stand up, heading for the door.
Nico makes a low noise and stands too. "Sweet dreams," he says once Percy has walked out into the night, still barefoot and shirtless.
Percy climbs onto Mrs. O'Leary's back. "I hope so."
#back on my bullshit lmao#happy talks pjo#percy jackson#nico di angelo#my writing#my fanfic#and it is 1am and i need to sleep so im just gonna. stop.#not even gonna review it to see if it makes sense bc im just. so tired rn.#but yeah i have been obsessed with the concept of percy having dreams of the past to indicate the future#and it's always about nico's past half-siblings getting bullied by campers as a hint that someone there is gonna do something hinky to him#okay niiiiiight
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wdym if i want to talk to people i need to reach out first. i should be able to send them vibes. with my mind
#love making friends. hate reaching out first#(i always feel like im being a bother </3)#i’m okay. it’s just 1am rn#i should sleep before the sexuality questioning starts#reese’s pieces
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a good chunk of my dragons in fr have similar colours and have a bug gene(?) design on their wings, if it's not a feathered dragon species
and that was Unintentional,
#caw caw#it DOES fit the lore i have so it's okay <3#like rn i have decided that with these three pearlcatcher siblings; one of them works at something that's like a tavern#and her mom that's also a pearlcatcher works there too!#i Would show you what they look like but logging in on mobile doesn't work for me </3#plus my brother has kindly let me play it on his computer#and it's 1am rn. hgheougjgdesugjgde
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I drew too much and now I barely have the motivation to finish any of my sketches, I have so many wips rn in my ibis gallery waiting to be finished
I've mostly been doing small silly doodles and dumb little drawings (if you know you know) and I have a whole checklist of things I want to draw
Been so excited to be here and to draw things that I was pumping out so many drawings a day through pure, unadulterated determination and excitement
I'm glad people like my silly art though even though it'll probably slow down now <3
It means a lot to me and everyone has been so supportive of me and my art
I'm not used to having so much attention on me as I haven't really posted online in roughly 4 years but the support means everything to me, even if everything is a little bit overwhelming for me at times, I know I must sound like a broken record but I really appreciate all the love I've been recieving on my art <3
#wolfgen posting#taleblr#we feelin a lil emotional tonight#idk if anyone will see this cause it's like 1am for me rn but ty guys so much <3#very tired writing this and i know maybe i didn't word things the best but i hope my point came across#i'm so excited to be here and be part of this community#i have so many more things and ideas to share and so many more things i wanna draw#i have so many headcanons i want to talk about too that i could make entire posts for#but!! my brain has been a lil bit mush these past couple days#but that's okay cause i'll definitely be posting more of that kind of thing when i can think properly again#more art and whatnot on the way dw :3
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me when i realise that i've been thinking for, like, a good hour about how great i am and that i am actually the only one who's ever right about everything, which can only mean ✨️manic episode✨️
#im checking my lil list. yes. it all checks out#my question is: why#i wasnt feeling that great earlier#which yeah may have been a sign#well. i was just being a jerk to everyone (only in my head) by being full of myself and self righteous (again - in my head)#the only thing that's missing is craving alcohol. i'm not - i'm actually a bit queasy rn so the thought isn't even appealing#and i'm being surprisingly rational about all this#it can only mean that i will either pull an allnighter (past 1am and i'm still fully awake) or sleep n wake up fully berserk#okay i kept on checking the list and i've been thinking about dangerous sex (for me. never for others). that falls under careless behaviour#fuck.
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.
#things don't really usually get to me like this so idk what is it this time#but all this fucking les-tappen disk horse going around is so tiring#now ppl talking about what kind of characterizations and tropes are okay and accurate and whatnot#and i agree on some points! certain things annoy me too!#but this talk especially coming from ppl who don't write themselves is bothering me a bit#who have never sat at their keyboard at 1am in love with the story they're crafting barely able to wait to post and see ppl's reactions#i'm suddenly full of doubt like what if what i'm writing is horseshit why bother sharing it#and i know my stories will have their readers and i shouldn't have doubts if ppl don't like them they can just click away i've accepted thi#but i really do but i think this sort of talk is not very encouraging to writers in general no matter what tropes they write#just having a moment here i will continue to write and maybe publish something again some day i'm just frustrated rn#biannual bitching session over#i didn't even say half i wanted to say#maybe i will continue bitching later who knows#talking
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goodnight gamers!
#ash rambles 💚#it's been a pretty solid day! i didnt do much other than play j.udgment for hours straight tbh#and hey. I'm fine with that#I've had a lot on my mind as of late with just life and everything being pretty nuts so I'm glad to have that escape#i hope everyone is doing good#one day I'll organize this blog more and write some more fanfic also#... one day- i know i've said that time and time before#yawwwnnsss I'm so sleepy.. its about 1am rn so I'm about to snooze. just got to chapter uhhhh 8 of the game 👍🏽#something thats been on my mind a lot as of late is that i spend a lot of time supporting and writing shit for other peoples f/os and ships#which is great. it's awesome. it makes me happy. whenever i write these things there is never a doubt in my mind that the character LOVES#the shipper. when i say theyre soulmates i wholeheartedly mean that from the bottom of my heart. yet it's only when i write my own shit that#i get all insecure about it. especially in the case of my dearest husband since I really do just love him so much. i never do allow myself#that same grace huh? i never let myself be loved despite how i am towards my selfshipper friends#it's just been something that's been on my mind lately and it's something I'm trying to get better at. sometimes it's just hard to believe#that they really do feel the same. I adore these characters so much it makes my heart ache. that kind of love doesnt always come easy#okay now I'm just sleepy rambling#feel free to ignore this LMAAAOO#i am literally half asleep rn#gn gamers! sleep good! or good morning too if that applies#I'm gonna go fantasize about my husband + some y.akuza crushes and knock tf out#goodnighty!
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Idfk why I started sketching him like this fhdslifwj I was gonna draw him in my style idk why I started doing a style study instead, but now I’m curious if Warwick will have a crooked snout or something
I want to continue drawing but I keep getting jumpscared idk why I picked a horror game playthrough to watch at 1am sdhfjldsij
Man is so gonjus I can’t believe he was like 6th place in the hot arcane men poll, i can’t believe viktor won and beat both vander and ekko that’s just a crime
#also honk mimimi I’m way too fucking tired rn to continue drawing#brain is dead#but hands are itching to draw#wip#also if youre curious i m watching rtgame play little hope#I watched part of the stream so I knew about the jumpscares and it wasn’t that freaky but I also it’s 1am and dark#okay good might I can’t think any#anymore
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Tbh im in the same boat as prev anon where I wanna be able to talk to people abt eclipse and you seem really cool but any time I consider reaching out the Fear Demons come and eat me and I end up doing nothing X<
Idk man what if that one post you made inviting people to dm you on disc excluded me specifically and you beat me with hammers if it try!!! Thats just my undiagnosed ocd tho wagever
wher, where did you guys come from okay. Listen here , I AM VERY EXCITED TO TALK TO ANYONE NEW I LIKE SHARING MY IDEAS AND HEARING OTHERS I WILL NEVER BE MAD AT ANYONE WHO COMES INTO MY DMS TO TALK ABOUT FANDOM STUFF I INCOURAGE IT ACTUALLY OLEASE GET INTO MY DMS AND TALK TO ME do be warned i suck at checking notifs and will start writing fanfiction in your dms outta thin air
#angsty talk#anons. i will wait for the day you are brave enough to face me#because i know that day youll see just how stupid i am and you are basically scared of a kindergartener with 9 wips in google docs#im harmless trust okay?#i can barely read the ask itself rn cuz its 1am and im dealing with some issues on my twt priv help
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"My wife punches me during sex"-Kirito from SAO abridged.
this just feels like something Tangled star (or canon tbh) Shadowpeaches would say about each other.
#LISTEN ITS 1AM AND IM TIRED AF OKAY DONT @ ME ABOUT BEING INSANE IM ONLY HALF CONSIOUS RN#six eared macaque#tangled star#sun wukong#monkey king#liu er mihou
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i think i deserve a walk into a bookshop to browse the puzzle magazines so i can pick one out to buy as a treat
#my brain is stuck on puzzles tonight#as it often is#SJFHKSDJFH I FUCKING LOVE PUZZLES THOUGH#i want more#more physical puzzles especially!!! my tablet is filled with puzzle apps#i want some more puzzles i can physically interact with they are so so so so fun#i also still have some puzzle magazines i haven't completed fully BUT. hear me OUT. what if...i buy another#skdjfshdfkjhsdfhksdf pls. i would like that very much#i've seen some really fucking interesting looking puzzle books on uhhhhh#i don't remember the website#amazon maybe. idk#where there's a whole storyline and you're like solving a case through logic puzzles#idk how good they actually are but highkey on my want list rn#I FUCKING LOVE LOGIC GRID PUZZLES. i don't have a book of them either!!! i really want one#shfkshdf okay it's almost 1am i need to put my puzzles away and sleep#i have work tomorrow. well. today
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@boogieboba leaves for Mexico and I lose every single ounce of impulse control I've ever had in my entire life
#ravioli jesus i miss you#you better be having the absolute best time in mexico rn#i accidentally stayed up until 1am talking to someone who i wont say but im sure you can assume#personal#god damn it im supposed to be in my im single and no one can touch me im a god era#im not supposed to be staying up late Talking To Someone#*slams fist on table*#lion had lost all impulse control#impulsive thoughts are winning#okay nini#honk mimimi
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i was gonna write a different post, but it went to places and lost the thought, so all im gonna say is that idk how i feel about the fact that literally nobody has in the past two months told me that they miss my art lol
#you saying it after i post this doesnt count btw#idk i kinda miss drawing but also the last time i tried i had a total mental breakdown about it so who cares#its fine im on a writing binge rn that makes me really happy honestly#im not gonna compare the numbers game in those two tho thats just gonna make me sad. im just saying#anyways. just a thought. i should go to bed my brain is doing funky things to me again woo#night is an absolute mess on main#like dont get me wrong. im very happy with what i create rn#just knowing that nobody talks about the visual arts is like#i knew i was doing something wrong with that. that it was not meant to be#okay yeah its definitely 1am sads hours i need to log out oof
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Hi. I just wanted to say that I absolutely fell in love with ewskers. I hope things will get better for you <з
omg aaaa thank you so much!! this means so much to me, truly 💖💖 i’ve been having a really weird time lately and on top of that all like i really want to talk about them, but i just feel like no one cares, so this was really nice to hear, thank you!!
#asks.#anonymous#i can’t sleep and just saw this and had to respond before i forgot about it but just thank you really!! they mean so much to me and i know#they’re just silly lil fictional guys but they really just bring me so much joy so i’m glad you like them!! i also love that we all call#them the ewskers like i love that that caught on!!! i was going to try do a template for like tomorrow? 2 days? idk it’s 1am rn for jan 15#for miss diana because like that’s my hc birthday for her freak of a hubby but idk if i’ll be able to get that done cause i’ve been so#drained and fatigued and i like it’s been hard for me to do a bunch but aaaaa rambling again but i’m like half asleep idk how coherent this#is or when i’ll catch up on my notes and tracked tag cause like i just haven’t been able to come on here like it was overwhelming me so much#and just opening the app was making me like upset?? i just don’t feel great at the moment but i’ve been more active on twt if any of you use#that. i need to update my links on here but i’m arklay_ on there!! okay i’m going eepy tysm again!! 💖💖💖
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