#it'll most likely work out fine
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I played romance Louis/save Violet for the first time (and last) in my life some days ago and I really didn't expect the game to feel so different without him. Not is his absence only extremely notorious but to quote one of your old posts, the game won't shut up about him.
EVERY SINGLE TIME. They didn't mention Violet even half the times they did with Louis, and it just feels. Awful. Constant reminder that you left him get taken, that he's being tortured and traumatized. It really did hit different, I wanted to think about all the details for Violet's route but I couldn't. THEY KEPT BRINGING HIM UP LIKE OK !! I GET IT !! I KNOW, IM COMING TO HIS RESCUE
and in the end I ended up getting mad Violet suddenly forgot about his existence. I remember you talked about that a lot but since I hadn't experienced it I hadn't realized how bad it was.
When she didn't mentioned him even ONCE, not in the cells, not in the walk home back to Ericson, nothing.
But back to Louis– the game says Louis' name over and over and it makes me feel guilty and I don't like it
That route haunts my nightmares.
When I used to stream, we called the romance Louis/save Violet [+don't trust AJ] route The Despair Route.... you can probably guess why. You're right, the whole thing hits differently when you've built up Clementine's romance with him, only for him to be taken away. Plus, when you do that, your relationship with Violet isn't as strong so not only do you miss out on a lot of Louis content, you miss out on Violet content for not romancing/best friending her.
And yeah, the game will not shut up about Louis when he gets taken. It's actually so fascinating, because Violet doesn't get mentioned nearly as much, so that begs the question of why? Y'know? I mean, we can look at Louis getting captured and conclude that they keep reminding us about him so that we're extra hurt and guilty when we find him in the cells.
But then with Violet? Louis is the one who brings her up most of the time, except when Ruby pulls out her file. But it's odd that the others don't make more comments like they do with Louis. I think we are kind of meant to forget about her? Well, okay, not forget about her but like... The fact that they don't talk about her as much makes her feeling pissed off, forgotten and abandoned all the more powerful, no?
As for Violet forgetting about him, in my opinion that's just a genuine flaw with the writing... because Violet would ask about Louis. I've played her romance route. I believe that in my heart of hearts that she would, and when she doesn't, I'm like ?????
Sure, you can say she's got her mind on other things, or that Aasim already told her what happened to Louis so she doesn't ask when they're in the cells... except she would ask if he's okay.
They're different characters who react to things differently, and that's not inherently good or bad.... but you're seriously going to tell me that the only thing Violet's says to Louis is a sad little, "Lou..." when meeting up with him on the beach? and then she only makes a minor mention of him when talking about pushing people away on the walk home?
No, sir. I think not. I think that's an oversight, especially if you're trying to sell their friendship in her route.
But I suppose in her defense, if you're a Louis fan, you're more likely to be angry about it. We're used to Louis mentioning Violet and then to see her not do the same isn't great. Whereas a Violet fan who prefers her route is more likely to justify why and how it makes sense, y'know? In fact, if a Violet fan plays Louis' route, they probably get mad that she's "forgotten" about a lot prior to the cells so I suppose it balances out?
Also, can I add for both routes how much I side eye the fact that captured Louis/Violet say nothing about the other if they died on the bridge? I get they didn't want to be a downer on the happy ending, and that time has passed so they probably already mourned......... but c'mon. I know Louis can't verbalize but he can write, he can stand by Violet's grave, something. Violet could've said something. Listen, if you're gonna make me suffer through that, give me some of the angst I actually want.
#asks#twdg louis#twdg clementine#twdg violet#twdg clouis#i hate the captured louis route like no i will not#like i fully admit that i have issues with how violet's route plays out in general but i also acknowledge that it's just not for me#whereas it feels like they wrote louis and his route for me specifically y'know?#ugh i could go on more about that but one again i must refrain since i'm still working on that essay about clouis and violentine#listen it'll come out eventually okay hahaha i have work all week and i'm tired... plus about a hundred other projects so y'know#but seriously what happened did they go 'oh we talked so much about louis before the cell scene that we don't gotta in ep4'?#'and since we didn't talk about violet too much we'll balance it out by having louis refer to her a few times in ep4' like....#i get it when you don't save them then the story isn't about them anymore they're not the tritagonist in this route#so the game naturally focuses on the one who is buuuuuuuuut louis and violet are important to each other and imo that should show#the most in ep4 AFTER THEY'VE BEEN IRREVERSABLY INJURED..............but it's fine i'm fine haha
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yesterday in vocal synth news
#art#traditional art#fountain pen ink#virvox project#mizusawa takuto#voicevox#ia#cevio#voisona#also miku is there technically kind of. shes down there#sorry im not a piapro or vocaloid user i was more focused on the other things LOL#looks neat tho! im very curious about the kaito and meiko remasters#i was always tempted and curious but im not a huge fan of the weakness of their v3s compared to their v1s#so i hope we get some demo videos or something soon. or if not i hope in a month people post lots of videos LOL#also intrigued by miku nt update and v6 ai. i have no interest personally in using miku but im sure it'll be interesting#gumi and galaco v6 sound pretty good in my humble onion so im very curious#but anyway. back to ME hjkfsjhjrfds im so excited for takutos voice#itll be cute seeing all the little skits the japanese fans make and for me specifically you KNOW im gonna get on that song shit#im gonna make.... the most bizarre boyband on earth. there is some manner of catboy. and a 50 year old man. it'll be great#maybe i'll remake the yume no tobira cover hee hee#and ia.... oh baby ia.... im so happy you have no idea man i have been WAITING FOR THIS. okay please dont kill me for this but like#highkey i dont really care for her original v3 LOL its not bad or anything i just find a lot of v3 fem vocals sound like the same person#and this was painful for me because like im a gigantic lia fan. i dont need it to be a 1 to 1 recreation or anything but like#i was always so bummed out how thin ia's voice sounded. it felt like a bit of a waste how much the v3 noise removed all lia's warmth#and like the depth of her tone. and like it sounds fine. she sounds like a slightly more operatic miku when people tune her high and breath#which is very common and that sounds fine. but like i still felt like auauuuuuuuuhhhhhhh nothing i loved about lia's voice is there#cevio 1.0 was a step up it brought back a LOT of warmth (although you had to really push up the alpha to get the depth)#and while i personally dont hate the cevio 1 noise its nice to have a version that no longer sounds underwater <3#she sounds so rich now.... i still bump up the alpha a bit because i like lia's deeper work a lot LOL but its wonderfullllllllll#so good so so so so good im obsessed. yesterday was truly an Event for vocal synth news
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1 advice to (too) many people: try to start taking yourselves and life less seriously. really
#💛#Like. my dog was taking her morning shit in the backland today and then heard a blackbird sing in the conifer. she looked so mesmerized#the sight of that was everything#Once you understand nothing in life belongs to you (no gains no wins no losses no shit at all) life gets so much easier 🙏#If you think of life as a competition...get over yourself sally and grab a coffee or go look at some clouds. You're enough as you are#Everything is transient. we're only here for a very brief moment. With most ppl we share less hours than we'd think (for whatever reasons)#so enjoy it!!!!! find the weirdness in the mundane!!! the silver lining in the freaking cess pool circus. yea please be a little unhinged#Just breathe. Life isn't out to get you. yeah maybe that fine ass. furthermore just trust it'll all work out in your favor. as it always ha#*has :)#Also be straightforward. Say the unspoken. Be honest to a fault (even if it evokes opposite reactions). Don't bottle shit up#Just relax + smile more. Invest in your own well-being and try to lookout for others' much as you are able to. that's all
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*said with increasing distress, eyes blodshot and an empty mug in hand* you guys remember writing right????? you guys remember posting fic and publishing things and talking to editors about potential projects right???? you guys remember being creative in your creative jobs and not just rereading old work and having a panic attack over the time wasted over curating hyperspecific character playlists that you get mad about five minutes later right????? i'm not insane right????? creative block is normal even if it lasts for months right???? i haven't written a fic in YEARS but it's ok i'm ok i have to finish TWO original pieces for next week that I haven't even started but it'll probably be fineeeee I'm totally not being a complete and raving lunatic about it it's probably gonna be okay <3 yay <3
#AND I STILL HAVEN'T APPLIED FOR MY NEW SHOW IN THEATRES ?1!!!!???? AJAAGAGAHAHAHFGH#BABYGIRL I CAN BE DRY IN WAYS YOU CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE FOR PROJECTS THAT ARE ALREADY EVEN PLANNED OUT#the words just won't come out idk#ok so i attended one of the most prestigious universities in the country re: my field of expertise and carefully improved in my craft#just to go into a creative field and be an unemployed fuckhead who won't even write#i mean I am ALSO an academic that is very much true as well. but you don't really earn money from that either now do you#especially not in humanities#anyway. i need to go wash some dishes#it'll be fine probably i just need to lock tf in#it sucks being the one in the relationship that has no job no money no prospects and is already a burden to their parents#like literally they're being very nasty about it and like i know they care about me and stuff but they are very much. not supportive#it doesn't mean they're openly hating on it tbh i think they've given up on trying to disagree with my life choices and atp they just judge#when i'm not there. but evidently i find out anyway because of course i do#tbh won't complain about the lack of open support though like it's cool you disapprove of my relationship and my work and my life overall#ok rant over i'm big now. i'm an adult#ACTUALLY should i write a paper on disco elysium maybe that'd cheer me up. DON'T ask me how de is cheerful it isn't#my brain just works in mysterious ways#also gonna write an essay on my relationship with god. and get it published. probably gonna quote dostoievski a couple times as well. maybe#who give a fuck anymore man people these days can write ANYTHING. i love being alive in a world where printing is a thing. also computers#personal
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Y’all are being subjected to my Sims 2 tests, so there
The other set of Vargases came over for a visit and Scriabin picked up Shmee and started talking to Scriabin through him. Very normal, very usual
I downloaded some circle-glasses recolours and hghghh they look so good! Closer every day to his final details! Getting ever closer!
Edgar too! I made him a custom hair with a lighter undercut - I’m mostly happy with it, probably could’ve shifted it a shade closer to his skintone but the texturing was weird no matter what :P And his stripey shirt! I wish Body Shop didn’t have that hands-on-hips pose lol, it looks so much better in-game, but that’s all the better :)
I got some new clothes for Todd as well! As soon as I saw this ‘fit I was like “Oh that’s 100% Todd there he is.” Scriadad hug ♥ So cute
Foot-dancing together stopp it’s so cute!!
The way he looks at them stoppp <3 <3 They kept doing this right up til they left for home haha, Todd’s giggles are the cutest
Used SimPE to save him to the Body Shop, I now have infinite copies of The Boyyyy ♪
Moved him in with his “parents” as just shadow people basically, they’re not gonna matter in a bit as long as I remember how to get the Social Worker/Adoption process to work properly. Get her Todd!!
Wanna play? :D
Menacing :(
Look, Todd, your new dads are here! Initially I wasn’t sure who I wanted to adopt him, got lots of options; the first passes, the married couple with their own Todd, Johnny?? He definitely doesn’t have the facilities for a child lol But these are the ones that showed up on their own, so the married Vargases are the winners!
Scriabin cares more about him than his actual parents ;; A stranger off the street shows him more care! Not that it’s a high watermark
Look at him being a good dad!
Weh, he just wants friends ;; Poor baby
Best timeline, thank you
While we wait for CPS, let’s get some other interactions in! Nny is mean so he tended to prank the other two with a nose flick - mostly Edgar lol ♪ Now kiss
“Oh please don’t break all my bones~ :3” I love Todd looking up at them haha <3
Pffft, I think he was talking about the other Scriabin and just how attractive he is. Classic Scriabin. Alternatively, also funny to imagine him bragging himself up about how he’s just so handsome that Edgar can’t help but love him hahaha ♪
Allow me to tickle you with my KNIFE! >:D
Get a load of this guy lol
He ended up passing out at one point - I forgot which motives make CPS show up >.> - and completely 0%’d his comfort, but for some reason stargazing increased it?? It’s the same ground wh
Is two not enough to satisfy your butterfly bloodlust child?? He ended up with three, I had him release them before he was picked up by the Social Worker - success!
He rolled a new Want as soon as Todd was taken away - “Wants to see Ghost of Todd” Woah, dark! :0
And here he is on the married Vargases’ lot!! Success!! I did it right!! Heck yeah! :D Unfortunately they were uh, indisposed at the time. Good job guys pft
Goes right for Shmee, he really is Todd <3
#The Sims 2#My queue is too backlogged on main! And I /have/ been working on a lot of Vargas-specific Sims 2 retextures so it's fine lol#These are still tests - as said up top lol - so these events are ''non canon'' to what will eventually be my actual Vargas family#The beats will be similar tho! It's mostly just a lot of tweaking at this point to get everything just where I want before the domino falls#Edgar Nny and Todd are all so close to done - Scriabin still needs a bit more work lol of course he's the problem member ♪#It'll be worth it tho! >:3c Handsome lad <3#Did find out some interesting things with the Social Worker/Adoption process :0 Most importantly that adoption basically wipes everything#Wipes memories and family relations and changes the last name! So I'll have to go in with SimPE to change his name back once I'm there#I love SimPE haha ♪ I mean it's just an extension of how much I love TS2 but I just ughsjkhagf it's a good program!#It's extremely powerful and easy to get lost in if you don't know where to look but it's also incredibly user-friendly if you do know#Like - it's as easy as ''Open this sub-menu. Click this button. Rename this. You're all done'' it's just jdsflf Sims 2 my beloved <3 <3#I decided to cheat down the Casils' relationship with Todd before everything else - thus why his father is menacing him for the prank#I've seen Sims with not high enough friendship to not take a water balloon as a fun invitation but not between a parent and child!#It's subtle but the parent being mad and the kid cowering :( It's sadly appropriate for Todd#I stuck the Casils in a box to wait things out and they ended up glitching frozen in bed - they're effectively dead by Motive but can't move#So they can't die /or/ live - feels fitting#If you'd like to recreate CPS taking your child away without straight up torturing them! - Hunger. You just need hunger lol#Alternately you can also have them miss class if you'd prefer to feed them - both will result in being taken away after long enough#If I return to this save it's gonna be confusing since both Todds are identical and have the same names lol#I do have a bunch of new clothes! Second shopping trip :D#There's something oddly fitting for the Vargases to adopt twin/clones lol - fun shenaniganary until the Final Version comes to pass#Although now that I think of it I Could also give them a toddler!Todd hmmmmmm#It's an idea :)
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i can't believe i'm seeing a.c.e in less than 24 hours
#i'm kinda freaking out#mostly about the being in the 2nd row i truly don't know why i thought that was a good idea#park junhee is gonna be like#less than 10 feet away from me#maybe less than 5 i dunno#we could in theory make eye contact that is absolutely terrifying#for the rest of them too but i'm the least normal about junhee so i'm specifically the most worried about him lol#i was like oh its not first row it'll be fine but i saw a video of what they see recently and oh no it is not fine lmaaooo#also i already know work is going to be hella busy and stressful and annoying tomorrow#at least i'll be distracted
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oh god i forgot i scheduled a call with mum later tonight. jump scared myself with it when the calendar reminder came up now on my phone, fuck's sake
#text post#it's still like an hourish away IF she calls on time#so i should be feeling fine. but idk what she'll bring up or what mood she's in so. Fear aksndkfng#it'll probably be fine and worst is that I'll have little to tell her bc like#i do the survey sites in between the days i work polling shifts. i try to write. i try to keep the house/myself/etc clean#i try not to worry abt money. i worry abt everything all the time. the things I'd like to explore that might open new doors for me#are out of reach for varying reasons and in varying ways#i struggle to make myself leave the house without feeling like a shaking chihuahua#she doesn't want to hear abt most of this and there's a large amount of it i don't want her to know abt anyway#maybe I'll bring up the Watcher thing bc she loves Watcher (as do i despite mixed feelings on the inital announcement)#and i can let her rant abt that and the clinic and how her bf's new job has him away too far and for too long (true in my opinion tbh)
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I will have the money for all my bills by the middle of the month every month and yet also every month I'm like Oh no oh god what if I don't have enough for rent this time
#uaarghh#I'm going on vacation next week and they gave me one extra day off than I asked for which is nice I guess but now I'm like freaking out#bc the way we do our schedules I'll end up short not only next week but ALSO the week after#anyway I've spent most of today constantly telling myself it'll be fine it'll work out just like it always does it'll be fineee#it's not working
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Many months of paper review (Patreon)
#Doodles#For the record this is all on the same page lol#Basically a full year of going ''Oh this paper's so nice I wish I could use it'' lol#Unfortunately there was a pretty serious batch error that I didn't notice when I first picked it up :(#It's from my favourite brand so I was like ''Oh it'll be fine! I know I like this paper already!''#Always - check. Always check!#The lines were printed wobbly and askew (so not perpendicular) and there was a crease down the right side of most pages#It's still an absolute treat to work with but editing is a lot more difficult with those errors#So I thought I was just going to have to scrap more than half of a notebook! D:#(Since I'd already drawn on a few pages up to those batch errors)#But then came the Scratch Pages idea to save the day! Lol#I have gotten a lot of utility out of this notebook after all! I'm not as gentle or careful with it as my current-main notebook#I can be a little rougher and keep the guidelines or not colour since it's all intended to be cleaned up later anyhow :)#Although all the scratch comics are up on my Patreon currently lol - I got a lot of mileage out of the concept >:3c#Plus a few of them have ended up here after all lol - most things with lines lately have been from this notebook#I'm definitely going to be using this method going into the future too! In fact I have the next two notebooks picked out for testing :D#Since this one is only one page out from being completely finished ah :'D It's always bittersweet to put a notebook to rest <3#I also like how you can watch my hair grow in real time lol#And my style change in small increments :D#It's always harder to tell with my chibis but it's there!
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oh no... absolutely heartbreaking monologue idea...
#been trying to figure out which route i want to go down with together in hell's story and. GOD. this might have cemented the idea#''and they'll build a shitty dollar store made of concrete and staffed by people you know and don't like and you'll buy your favorite#laundry day shirt there. and it'll be fine that i'm not there.''#GOD. GOD DON'T FUCKING.#mmm. i can. i can work this into a less tragic ending. because i think the most sad option isn't really the best option?#devalues the themes and whatnot. whatever#together in hell
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actually going to throw the hugest fit over my parents making me do dishes. i am HAPPY to do dishes on assigned nights. it's FINE. i hate it so much but i'll get it done and if i'm having constant breakdowns over it then like. idk. maybe that's another issue that you should be looking into but it doesn't mean that i'm not up for doing the dishes. but now my mom wants to have the five of us just. do the dishes on a rotation? which is FUCKED cause i have SHIT to do! the fuck happens when i have dnd? or want to go out with a friend? or have class until late? literally worst fucking idea on earth i can do the fucking dishes but i have to be PREPARED for it. for instance don't make it so every other week i'll be fucking Doing something when it's my night to do the dishes
#so tired and lowkey pissed off about this i'm going to cry#my mom got rlly upset cause the dishes weren't getting done. fair.#my nights got Done most of the time and i volunteered to take on an extra night so idk. i think that should count for something.#but she got upset and said that she would just do dishes from now on#and then realized it was a lot of work and said she couldn't do it on her own and needed people to help#and then said 'we should do it this way!' and never actually implemented that way#like. just said it out loud. but then like. expected it to magically happen?#babe you can't just throw out a hypothetical and go 'alright! now that i have spoken it into existence it's going to happen'#fucking WHATEVER though. cause now it's going to be my fun little dishes night on friday when i have dnd.#first fuckin round of it.#and it's not even that i don't want to i CAN'T do the fucking dishes on friday cause i'm barely in the house!#i'll be home on friday after work for fifteen minutes tops!#so. going to complain. literally some of us have schedules that take up the nighttime.#sorry that neither of my little siblings hang out with people or have regular social engagements or work late or have class late.#but unfortunately i'm literally doing shit. and i need to incorporate things into my schedule or it's gonna fuck all my shit up#and then people will be angry with me for not getting the dishes done. so. again. fuck me i guess#it'll be fine i'll talk to her i just. ugh. the world if mothers just fucking talked about what they wanted and needed to happen#she proposed that Multiple weeks ago and just now i heard her in the kitchen going 'i thought we were doing this...'#bitch since WHEN??? SINCE WHEN??? YOU HAVEN'T BROUGHT IT UP IN A FULL WEEK AT LEAST#throwing my fucking laptop against the wall i'm so fucking tired i just want to sleep#valentine notes
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#SO funny thing#last year around this time i signed up for classes to catch up with my education#and i signed up for a very basic class because i assumed that degree is needed as a requirement to take higher education classes#as therapists and people at the job center continuously let me know wherever i went#well turns OUT they were wrong#i could've just signed up for the higher degree one that i was working towards when i was younger nbd and i could have spent#the past 6 months on studying THAT#anyway today i called the college and asked if i can sign up for the next one and they told me i theoretically could but it'll start#in NOVEMBER 2024 and that's ages away#but they have ongoing classes rn and maybe i can switch to just attending those#which sounds fine up until my mental health and the fact that i'm doing this with the help of therapists and counsellors come into the#equation#see those classes are from mon-fri#and my current ones only twice a week which we all agreed on was the most i can do at the moment without sliding into another#burnout type of situation#SO the tl;dr of this is i could attend the higher education classes nbd but they are likely to stomp my mental health entirely back into#the ground and i am very likely not gonna be able to finish them if they do which means i would end up with no degree at all considering#i would have to sacrifice the classes that i'm currently attending for the other ones#so the reality here is that i will have to finish this degree so i can focus on getting healthier between this year and the next in order#to have the strength to attend the next one and it's very frustrating to know that's standing in the way of attaining a higher education is#my mental health. like. i wanna go back to being able to work and socialise without this thing gnawing at the back of my mind#i guess i'm getting there but it's not happening fast enough for me
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pokemon support have sent my issue up to the development team after a bit of failed trohbleshooting methods. We'll see how it goes from there lol
#honestly if they end up coming back to me like ''we dont know what the issue is but we'll develop an update to fix it'' i'd be fine#like as long as they say it'll get fixed eventually its whatever#theyve been responding so fast every day like it only takes a few hours at most for someone to get back to me#which after dealing primarily with health-related services....is a breath of fresh air#i'll wait days for a doctor to return my message#but Devin at pokemon support is contacting me after two hours like ''We're working on it!!''#ive gone through 3 different people but devin is the first person i got connected with and they're back this evening#shout out to devin at pokemon support
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#delete later#im. so fucking out of it. i currently am not experiencing hunger or thirst or most emotions. i can vaguely feel my usual pain but#its massively muted. i cant focus on fucking anything. as in concentrate but also focus my eyes. like ive been having to lean so close to my#screen to process work stuff.#i havent been this dissociated in a long fucking time. not since ive been oroperly medicated#the medication is doing great though. im still eating qnd drinking abd able to force myself to try wnd concentrate. without it id just be#lying on the floor i reckon. its just. wild. i cant force myself to care about the videogames ive been waiting months to play#i just. dont give a shit. the only reason im able to do work is bc i can still access guilt and i dont want to fuck up my coworkers day#i definitely didnt police my tone correctly earlier though so i think i may have come across as rude which i feel bad for#the only things i feel rn are this banging headache. guilt. shame. and the crawling disgust that comes with feeling contaminated#which is just great. it'll pass and ill be fine but like wow. i did my a levels like this. wild.
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#logically i know it would've had its issues too and i will always regret any decision i make regardless lol all but god after this first day#i'm really feeling like i took the wrong option and should've gone w the hospital kitchen job i was considering instead#of this nicer restaurant one. most embarassingly overwhelming shift i've worked in a While#granted it was less to do w the job itself and more the month+ of being sick and stressed from the dangerous proximity starving/eviction#+ being out of kitchen work and practice getting rusty just making it a Bad Fucking Time dropping right back onto a dinner line lol#being trained by the exec sous who friend apparently had hyped me up to a fair bit prior#so hopefully once i settle and get more familiar w expectations it'll be fine but still#sure it pays a few dollars more and is regular schedule instead of on-call but i like the format a lot less and other is unionized...#also i wouldn't have shown up immediately on wrong foot missing like 2/3 necessary equipment/uniform bc i simply couldn't afford it lmoa
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this week has been like. what if more shit happened.
#logbook#like what if im trying to pack most if not all except what i use daily this week and also inventory massive sections of the lot at work#and what if. lets say. a concrete birdbath falls on my foot 👍 what then#in my pirate era going argggggggh what dah hell mate#and the poor doc “95% of the time at your desk” HA. hahahah. no.#im taking sat off bc i assume that i couldnt work it anyways bc its slowing down but. i'll have 2 days off to rest.#almost tempted to text out today to sleep BUT no. i am indeed off tmrw.#maybe if we get all our deliveries in tmrw i can do some things and then go home early. . .or at least to rents to nap.#blah. blah blah blah. bah.#its fine it'll be fine. .would rather not be living in this house but im just frothing at the bit at this point.
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