#it’s time I live my truth or whatever
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God I just. Do not care about Chim or Madney. I love JLH & Maddie & the Buckley siblings relationship but sometimes I’ll read fic or see scenes of Chim/Madney and be struck again by all the nothingness I feel lol. I do not gaf about that man I do not get the draw 😭
#brave posting at midnight bc everyone is asleep#& I’m less likely to get people side eyeing me for my apathy#about chimney han 😩#I like Kenny too but idk. Chim just does nothing for me#it’s time I live my truth or whatever
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I’m with you, my love The lights shining through on you Yes, I’m with you, my love It’s the morning and just we two
#spike btvs#spuffy#spuffyedit#btvs#btvsedit#buffy the vampire slayer#it's terribly simple#you know you want to dance#injuries cw#bites and chews and gnaws on anyone who says buffy didnt love spike. BITES and CHEWS and GNAWS on them.#like is that not the whole point? of him? of his entire character arc? of his burning to ash as he breaks the sunnydale high school#(AKA buffy's personal cage within the slayer's cage that was sunnydale itself AKA the place where he and buffy first ever fought#and he nearly killed her for the very first time but was foiled by the immense love someone felt for her) as he breaks that place to rubble#in a way also very reminiscent of the first time they slept together and Literally Fucked A Building Down. anyway as he's doing ALL OF THAT#like sure she doesnt HAVE to love him she doesnt owe him anything and even if she did love isnt about obligation. but when buffy says#that she loves him in that scene. theres nothing to indicate that she doesnt feel it. that she isnt telling the truth.#idk man. people take a man who is dying telling someone not to love him as the gospel truth when i feel like its more ... like maybe he's#making a misguided effort to be kind? he's telling her ''dont get too hung up on the vampire thats about to catch on fire#and get your pretty ass out of here while you still can please.''#whatever. WHATEVER. in the perfect btvs that lives in my head most of ats isnt canon but esp the part where spike comes back and doesnt#immediately 1. ASK IF DAWN WAS OKAY 2. upon being told by angel that he cant be put in touch with buffy because [mumbles] misogyny?#go ahead and engage in a flirt campaign at harmony until she breaks down and calls buffy for him. those would be like the FIRST TWO THINGS#that spike did after he came back to unlife. first two things frfr#i'm gonna end the tag rant there. hmm
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miscellaneous au doodles + a VERY self indulgent song lyric comic :D
+ extra evil comic below the cut :
"chil!" "don't look at me like that..."
#ill be honest this is all so self indulgent that its embarrassing but whatever. peace and love. i will live my truth#yes the song lyric comic is childhood friends t4t chilchuck + his wife. what of it.#yes i also put chilaios. SUE ME OKAY#anyways im really proud of that first comic i think i did the format justice#also to the fellow filipinos out there i salute to you all#if anyone who doesnt speak filipino google translates the song and talks to me about it i will uhhhhhh. kiss you <- joking#(BUT I DO ENCOURAGE TALKING TO ME ABOUT IT I WILL SCREAM)#now time for actual tags#dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi spoilers#<- technically#chilchuck#chilchuck tims#should i tag his wife? ill tag his wife#chilchuck's wife#laios touden#not gonna tag the others in the first comic cause theyre not the focus#chilaios#<- feed on angst with me. play with me in this space.#by the by im slightly dissatisfied with how i drew that evil comic i think it looks a little weird but i love the concept of it#i mean none of you have any context except for my friend whos working on this au with me but. i prommy that its good#oh yeah i should probably tag this au huh#[ tragedy au ]#<- dont worry about the name. d. dont worry about it.#PRAYING BEGGING PLEADING THAT THIS WILL POST PROPERLY THIS TIME
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For the last 24 hrs I’ve been trying to find the real motel from that production assistant’s s4 bts pic…
#byler#stranger things#would you guys laugh if I said this is the most fun part of theorizing during hiatus to me#I feel like a private investigator#no leads yet#but I’m living my truth#the truth of delusion#what happens when I find the motel you ask?#probably nothing#but I’ll have my answer#and I’ll search through all the pictures on the website and imagine scenarios that could go down in a flashback#from from s4 but intended to be put in early s5#related to whatever happened during that two day time jump…#technically the drive from Nevada to Hawkins would have been about 26 hrs#I did the math#which means we’ve got about 22 hrs of missing time give or take…#the implications of a motel stop for one night to rest are high…#especially if they thought they won against vecna at the time after the monologue…..#👀👀👀#technically the monologue happened late at night?#so maybe that night they slept at a motel?#and then they left early the next morning?#drove all day and not and got back to Hawkins the following morning…?
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thinking about how i can watch my favourite musicals over and over again but seeing them live is something that always changes my perspective completely because suddenly i can see more and i understand more and i find more of the truth inside the art and with that being said i'm literally fucking scared of what seeing hadestown live is going to do to me
#i know i still have the rent essay to write i know i know#i've been busy but maybe this weekend#anyway “there is no future/there is no past/i live this moment as my last” is still echoing in my head all the time#seeing it live was definitely the moment#i am not looking for entertainment in theatre i am looking for THE TRUTH#i want it to destroy my head i want it to change the way i see the world#and that's what it usually does#live theatre fucking sAVE ME-#i say whatever and whatever that i want*
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I would never wish growing up in a hyper religious African house on my worst enemy. The cognitive dissonance is insane especially if you grow up in the West yet your family (and other African families around you) insist on clinging on to asinine “traditions” that are really just covers for abuse.
#uchiha-gaeshi overshares#like I want us to fight as equals not with you and your damaged self esteem#why is my mum calling me ‘rebellious’ for having a vibraotr when I’m fully 23???#my mum once went on a rant about me and my sister not upholding ‘traditions’#my naive ass thought she was talking about idk a secret family recipe or dance or whatever#she was talking about us doing everything she says without question#I recall VIVIDLY an almost argument I had with her when I was 14-15#asking her to lay off on pressuring me academically#because I was getting stressed and it started negatively affecting my mental health#and then she just went apeshit on me#‘ungrateful’ is their go to jerk reaction to their children acting like people#oh and my parents are one of the ‘nice’obes btw#I’ve heard wayyyy to many stories of people’s parents just beating the absolute living crap about them#for the most benign shit like having crushes or something#off topic but is it normal for parents to tell kids to be careful what they say to teachers#so that the teachers don’t call cps on the family#I remember my mum telling me a story of a dad giving his kid a black eye#then when the kid’s teacher asked him where tf he got a black eye from of course the kid told the truth#and the dad had to be tried in court or something#and this whole time my mum is telling me this story it’s like I’m supposed to feel bad for this guy#who cares for his family oh so much but whose life is ruined because of the legal protections we have in place to protect kids 😔#so much discourse abt ‘purity culture’on here but I guess many people forget that in a lot of places in the world especially outside of#the west people are NOT open about sexuality at all#when you add Christianity to the mix real weird shit happens#like why is my mum crying about the fact that I masturbate#at least in her eyes I’m not a virgin….#she literally would rather have me shotgun married to a cis man I could fuck than for me to use a vibrator….#txt#African parents
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Okay. For real this time. I have found the most unbelievable, the most ridiculous, the most unlikely thing to happen twice in The Man From R.I.V.E.R.D.A.L.E. canon.
Starch-stiff snakes.
Twice.
I have officially seen it all.
#those poor snakes#other than the casual animal abuse I have no problem with the fact that they reused this bit#because it was funny the first time in its bizzare contrived nature#and the fact that’s it’s happened twice is even CRAZIER#which in my opinion makes it even FUNNIER#(especially because A.R.C.H.I.E. doesn’t seem to *realize* that this is a repeat tactic)#(how do you *forget* using a live snake as a battering ram??)#look nobody’s coming to these comics for deep writing or tightly woven plotlines#tons of stuff is way too convenient or makes no sense. that’s half the fun. you just have to let go and enjoy the randomness of it all.#you know the good guys are going to win in the end. but you have no idea *how.*#and whatever you’re imagining isn’t half as weird as the truth#archie comics#archie andrews#jughead jones#veronica lodge#reggie mantle#the man from r.i.v.e.r.d.a.l.e.
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now that I'm done imagining a jar of peanut butter, can I just say that I love that Shane and Ryan have shifted away from traditional true crime to just shootin' the shit about weird-ass mysteries?
I always liked the "let's talk about weird mysteries" aspect of buzzfeed unsolved, but being real with you, I'm uncomfortable with true crime and the culture surrounding it. like... as someone who lost a loved one to a violent (and temporarily unsolved) crime, I've seen firsthand how internet theorizing can make a traumatizing time even harder and like. it's fucking rough, man.
I get that it makes money and all (which... is a whole other can of worms) but when you view human suffering as entertainment, it's so easy to forget about the real people who will actually be affected by what's put out there on the internet.
so I'm happy that Shane and Ryan seem to be leaning a lot more into "wow, some unhinged shit happened! how fucked up is that?" on mystery files. more of this, please!!
#watcher#mystery files#also like... anyone can make money off true crime if they're charismatic enough#which means that often those narratives end up mirroring real-life prejudices#I remember when my friend died people online were accusing his wife of doing it#solely because she was an immigrant#people kept talking about her shady accent and how she probably married him for his money and to get a green card or whatever#and how her wording was sometimes confusing so she must be lying#what money??? number one#she was ESL number two#but also this woman literally watched her husband bleed out and people all over the world were accusing her of murdering him#they figured out what happened later (shocker she was telling the truth the whole time) but it was so heartbreaking to watch#I hate that people feel entitled to the worst moments of strangers' lives y'know?#and to make MONEY off that...#bruh if someone ever tries to fucking make money off my murder while putting on makeup or whatever#I will haunt the fuck out of them#I don't even know if I believe in curses but I'll find a fucking way
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pussy so androgynous it causes a major fandom schism approximately 194 times a month
#yes this is abt gerard way i cant get the discourse out of my head i need to let the evil spirits out and the only way is by making a post#like i firmly believe its okay to like. well. femcr it up from time to time... or like..#use she/her affectionately bc well theyre my pretty little princess their gender has nothing to do w that#and that like. theyre not cis. that much is obvious. but like. it crosses certain boundaries to assert so aggressively that just bc#theyre not cis that the end goal is that theyre a Woman. like... yeah you can say theyre trans in the sense of it being the opposite of cis#which is the case. thats correct. but saying theyre a WomanTM just bc theyre not a ManTM is well.. troublesome. its erasure#and erasure of something so lovely as whatever it is they have going on like isnt it enough that theyre living their truth?#the need to categorize everything in a neat little box is something you need to unpack and realize that its harmful. its a forced dichotomy#and like as i said already its all fine to like go all 'omg gerard pick up the phone' or like 'oughh my beautiful wife' or 'miss gerard 🐀'#however it gets dangerous if you spend too much time in that bubble and forget the reality of things.#for that purpose i made that 'her pronouns are he/they'. to ground myself innit#ANYWAYS. if you read the tags im sorry but yeah...... letting the evil spirits out#piksla.txt
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omgg lol [guy who won't stop going "more like scapeGOATED" voice] now hold! on!! lmao [same guy just saw encanto voice] Hold on!!!
#& [it might be 5am but i'll still see if i can draw some] trackpad homemade reacts. inhales & hands to head/face x9 then walking off#site giving pretty random Suggested assortment there where i was like oh right sure. prob not tumblr keywords captures lmaooo#(plus happened to have it open in firefox) but my god Not the scapegoated literal seers lmfao. whoooo. my god#also it was just really good anyways like right nice. damn#the (queerrr) seerrr the perceiverrr the truth tellerrr the ruinerrr the scapegoat be-errr the internalizerrr the neurodivergerrr#& now i Know there is 0% chance ppl weren't putting ''always a gay cousin or it's you (avuncular edition)'' in that thing#family tree design not even leaving space for the hypothetical kids of this relative we mostly pretend is nonexistent hmm#also that necessarily. it's giving all intents & purposes Disability abt a dozen ways & it's saying [accept that] vs [we'd better fix him]#you don't cite said [it's giving disability] as part of the We All Hate The Horrible Little Freak scapegoating justification & then be like#''actually we don't have to do that anymore b/c he's sooo normal :)'' or not if you're serious about [don't scapegoat your family] anyways#which like oh ok they Are serious so The Weirdo's scapegoating / casting out / lack of support Isn't justified#so he's still weird & you just gotta get over that b/c otherwise. bye. having a natural rat affinity is such a slay btw#& we've all been there like ''you NEVER want two scapegoats talking it's Over if they do'' + littlest kid is like um. they're the best#plankton voice Correct! inhale i'm so impressed like. getting to go ''finally someone Normal'' (serious abt letting someone Be Weird(tm))#which also always counts as like mm hard time suggesting someone's Not queer & also autistic for a start lmao. an award#adding in suggested layers like talking to oneself; talking Oddly / w difficulty; physical uncoordination; rituals ; acting; animal friend#the layer of ''& all that's fine? like?'' again rather than him ever suppressing or even changing it so far as it's suggested#besides that it's observed as Weird like but so? or else what? nonrhetorical: hostility / rescinded support & driving someone off is what?#& that Truth like the [worse treatment / exclusion / scapegoat] oft recipe for someone giving the support they're not getting themself#again Never let the [ppl both experiencing this] talk oh it's So over. or the child who's all i like family support & kindness actuallyy...#obviously also like the complete opposite of billions. knowing what they're about & letting this Just As Beloved crucial guy be So Weird#but billions Also [hmm feels right for our scapegoated guy to Perceive / Tell Truths / openly want/need & then be hurt] now get his ass#anyway [guy who could always go way on could go way on but only has thirty tags & it's 6am & i still mean to try some drawing] voice#remarkable amt of So True & ''it feels like ppl on the same page w/exactly what they're doing are all behind this''#remarkable amount of concentrated My God That Is So A Slay located in bruno all at once. what a gift#sticking to ''sometimes someone In Your Group is Weird. Disabled. deal'' firmly enough there's no ;) oh u can bet we'll Fix Him in the end#everyone always assumes the worst so....me when i'm [always as a kid yearning for Living In Secret Passages]. emile gtmpota?#oh congrats to whatever rando who will be having his dramatic gay reunion w/bruno just out of frame obviously. i perceive#now imagine if That rando was....emile gtmpota! what a crossover event. haunting4haunting. do i have enough tags for this lmao. yea#& having 1 more tag to say: as though the [endless serving] isn't enough bruno's also as close to gender envy as it gets. incl rats; sure
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although i have a lot of hard feelings about romance novels and often come out of them 9/10 times with hatred and embarrassment laced into my heart i do think most people can agree that romance novels at large have developed in response to the control over people's sexual lives and how that's subsequently led to a desperate desire from the sexually repressed to be equal participants in a sexual environment. it's not so much that women want to be in relationships with dominant men to whom they play housewife or baby incubator or worse. it's that women want to be in relationships at all. and because the standard for relationships at large is the nuclear family, this is what subsequently shows up in your literature. why do you think religious women in particular are such a huge audience for romance novels despite the often conservative environment they grow up in? it's bc the consumption of romance novels does not exist in spite of that conservatism but bc of it. to be gatekept from any expression of sexual desire until you marry or until you fornicate for the purposes of having a child is to breed in young women a desire for what we would now no longer consider practices entailing any self-respect. you're kept in an ideological cage all of your life, naturally you reach for what's immediately out of reach rather than consider that there could be more out there that is available to you. it sucks! it's sad, it's horrific, it makes me wanna cry. but i can also never quite blame women for it bc they're not the ones who've created this environment of sexual conservatism (ie the real puritan culture, the one that hypersexualizes virgins by obsessively protecting their chastity prior to marriage bc said chastity can only ever belong to one man). man has. religion has. patriarchy has. why would i focus my hatred on women who are merely coping with the status quo rather than the systems in place that we actually have to change to allow for more sexual freedom and agency?
#to be deleted#like to tell you the truth. do i consider myself to be more self aware than most romance novel readers. yeah#but i'm twenty six. i grew up in a household where dating and sex were completely forbidden and i still live in it#and at all times i feel like i am constantly yoyoing between 'do i want to get married just so i can experience what sex is like'#and 'sex sounds horrid and controlling and disgusting and i would rather die a virgin'#sometimes i feel insanely deprived of an outlet and yet i don't ever pursue one bc the associated psychological guilt is unbearable#and then on top of it i'm a born hater so whatever high i presumably /could/ get from romance novels i simply. don't#but that's not the case for every woman. not every woman is born a hater nor has the mental fortitude for that#some of them want to cope. and idk i feel so bad like it makes me feel actively. depressed that this is what they have to turn to#bc they genuinely don't understand that there's more. that what's being held away from them like a reward#isn't actually a reward. it's bare minimum. it's exactly what religion and patriarchy want them to do#and unfortunately i am nonetheless party to it! i am convinced i could never kiss or have sex with a woman even though i vaguely want to#bc the religious guilt is supreme. it rules my brain despite not ruling it in so many other areas
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literally my favorite blog on tumblr. Ur perfect at being Kim Pine and I love the little notes it the tags :3
(^ this is me at you rn)
Thank you so much <333 it seriously means the world to me that people love/like my Kim stuff. AND to know that some of yall actually read my silly little notes
I try to keep her as in character as I can, and I feel I have been largely successful, for the most part. I feel like she comes fairly naturally to me- I only occasionally hit snags,, but usually that's just because I'm high or something and am overcome with the desire to Maximize The Silly shfgkjshjld She's so serious though, usually. I love her <3 I love getting to be her for The People
#im never sure how many of those little notes get read but i love leaving them. little insight into my Unhinged Mind. or my day sometimes#not all of them make it into the final post- sometimes i go ''hm perhaps that is too many notes'' and remove some-- or decide they didn't +#+need to be there for whatever reason. but yeah i like leaving them for people#ooc#txt#asks#anon#im like one unhinged moment away from making ANOTHER kim blog one of these days you guys dont even know#((it would be future kim... i want to write about The Goats. I'd /j but I'm not joking. it would be a kimona blog basically sdkjfshj))#((want to live my ''they have goats in the future'' truth and no one should be allowed to stop me))#idk if I'll do that though. I still haven't opened the werewolf kim blog (cause yes that does exist. i've actually given a very big hint at#+the username for it here for people that have ALL the hints... but only two people know about it I think)#((as i write this actually i am. unsure if i explicitly told the second person the username for that one.... for people who didn't receive#+the hints from before or need/want a reminder- I am Genuinely Shocked it wasn't a taken username w the userbase of this site- and it's +#+also a song reference. I feel like it's findable w that :3c ))#but yeah. like i have said in the discord a couple times now: i am she and she is me. I love getting to be Kim here it's great#i love and relate to her a lot. she is deeply beloved
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I love preordering books because I forget about them until they arrive and once they arrive, I'm all at once surprised, charmed by my own forethought, and as excited as when I first noticed them enough to preorder them.
(Today's title: Beauty Matters: Modern Japanese Literature and the Question of Aesthetics (1890-1930) by Anri Yasuda, the chapters of which include (i) Natsume Soseki's Quest for "A Feeling of Beauty," (ii) Mori Ogai and the "Inner Flame" of Beauty, and (iii) Akutagawa Ryunosuke's Literary Anxietieis and the "Power to Remake.")
#bsd#bungou stray dogs#i should maybe just. have a modern japanese lit tag that i use regularly instead.#but (for now) i'm reading only modern japanese lit & history titles related to or for their proximity to bsd and the bsd relevant histories#so it's as much part of my bsd fandom engagement as anything bsd i post#which isn't to say they're not also separate works and i'm not also very invested in the irl people and their lives separately from bsd too#but focusing on the bsd authors has kept me from becoming overwhelmed and my affection for them began with bsd#and kafka asagiri's dialogue with their legacies#so while I don't tag bsd when i'm talking about only the authors or only the authors' works#there's sometimes little to no distinction for me between the literary critique (bsd) and whatever literary critique (academic) i'm reading#this isn't to say i conflate the characters with the people#or vice versa#but rather to say that i am also engaging in dialogues with the authors that are part of other more abstract conversations#at a conference hosted by asagiri and harukawa#convos which I am dangerously close to escalating by writing my own autobiographical fiction novel#framed within a metaconversation between the fictional author and her impressions of the dead authors#as filtered through time + geographical and cultural distance + translation + the inherently muddled natures of truth and confession#namely because i'm frequently haunted by akutagawa with whom I avoid speaking but to whom I can't bring myself to let go#despite the inherent violence in my presuming to know any amount of him at all#and sometimes because of it
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Kind of endearing that despite their obvious strained dynamic Utahime and Gojo trust each other
#It's sort of like Nanami and Gojo's dynamic but Nanami ignores him and Utahime is incensed#Despite how irresponsible Gojo is she doesn't doubt Gojo is telling her the truth#He was extremely rude with her about her being weak and lacking the guts to be the traitor#But in part I guess he was messing up with her. In part I guess he trusts her too#And that's sort of endearing#Again a bit like what Nanami and Gojo have going on#But Utahime seems to dislike Gojo more than Nanami does#Utahime and Gojo seem to have a bit that fondness you develop for stains on a wall. A stain or a patch that wasn't quite well painted#But that has accompanied you through your entire childhood for instance. Your father painted the room and you chose that exact blue colour#but there's a patch that wasn't well painted. It's in a corner and no one noticed it but you know it's there and it annoys you#And it's there during your childhood perhaps. It's there during your teens years#It lives through the posters changing and the heartbreak and the friendships being born and dying and it's always there#It always annoys you but it's always there.And when you leave home for college or whatever you put your life in boxes and move the furniture#and finally you look at the stain and for one moment‚ for one instant before covering it with a fresh layer of painting‚ you look at it#And in that instant you almost kind of feel fondness for that stain. For that constant through your life. Even if it annoyed you#That's sort of the air Utahime and Gojo give me haha#I don't know. The intimacy of constancy if nothing else is something I love#That knowing each other because of the years in common and knowing where you both went through. And that almost fondness it brings at times#Heathcliff with Hindley and sort of Edgar. Charles and Adam. Or that one classmate you quite didn't like entirely and were never close to#but if one says something the other would understand it's a reference to the French teacher you had in the second year of middle school#and reply in kind. And laugh perhaps. And in that moment you could almost imagine you could have been friends#Well. That kind of vibe Utahime and Gojo give me. Which is. I don't know. It's kind of cute?#In the context of the madness of this Jujutsu world#I'm overall loving the glimpses we see into the dynamic Gojo has with the adults in his life#I think his dynamic with Ijichi is my favourite for now. Surprised I don't see them more in a shippy context#with how much I see Gojo and Nanami or Gojo and Utahime and even Gojo and Shoko. Perhaps it's because ijichi isn't hot? I mean#I would understand that. It's a factor too. But I love that Gojo trusts him more than anything and I like that Ijichi understands him#and his kindness beyond his rudeness and I am biased and love the Megumi parallel. Not into the 'or I will slap you' thing though but okay#ANYWAY yeah xD I love Gojo's dynamics with the adults. I love when he sulked because Nanami told him gave the finger to the higher ups to#avoid Gojo giving it to Yuji but that despite and precisely for that Gojo SMILED and said 'I am glad I left you in change of him'. Love him
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.
#tag talk#fuck. I might just be a straight woman.#like. I like men. and the more I transition the more I vibe with binary womanhood.#sure I don't like getting shoved into restrictive femininity. but I vibe with womanhood as separate from femininity.#anyway. I might be straight. and In ten years it's very possible that being trans becomes a much less huge part of my life#because it will stop being something that I do and something that I wish for and simply something that I am#yeah yeah whatever hi my name is Reggie and I like men#I just. as much as I don't like certain restrictive gender roles I find myself slotting very comfortably into others#and I realize that my idea of gender and their roles was very much shaped by my female role models growing up#and a lot of the disconnect and distress when growing up was due to not being able to follow the path everyone else did.#all my girl friends were growing up into women and I was stuck on the man track.#and being gay was the closest I could get to being myself#but I'm closer than I've ever been before to being able to live my truth as myself#still not gonna shave my legs unless it's sometime in the future for a very specific event.#I like them fuzzy. they make me feel cool.#I like having some cultural masculinity still. I just don't want to be defined by it#talking about my binary trans experience is always a little weird because I'm aware of how binary I'm describing things#and I get that if my words were used to describe someone else's experience it might end up sounding hella transphobic#but these words are for me. they're my experience. they're my life not someone else's.#and this is how my identity works.#it's like how feminism protects the right of trad wives to be trad wives.#we just gotta recognize that just because one woman wants to be the designated dishwasher not every woman feels that way.#anyway. I might be dating a guy by this time next week. he's cool so far and we kinda got match-made by a mutual friend#we watched Redline tonight and it's hella good#he's really cool but I feel like I've got something to provide and to bring to the relationship. so we're still on peer-level I think.#which is new. usually I'm way ahead of the other person. maybe my fault for fishing in the bad fish barrel#the emotionally damaged and burdened fish barrel.
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Having lost my cat, my uncle, my great grandmother, my grandma's best friend (& one of the people who helped raise me), AND my dad all within the span of 9 months,
I have little sympathy for people who use deaths as an excuse to be an asshole. I get it, it sucks. Get the fuck over it. Your grief is not an excuse to treat others like shit. What the fuck.
#speculation nation#this isnt anything personal. im just reacting to a post that kind of pissed me off.#to be fair i was never close with my great grandmother so im not particularly broken up about that one#but it's still yet another death in the family within such a short period of time.#my cat is on this list bc he was the first one and it majorly fucked me up. so yeah it deserves to be here.#the others. well. my grandma's best friend makes me sad but at least she was getting up in years#my uncle and dad though. especially my dad. yea those have fucked me up the most.#im never gonna be the same after experiencing all of this in such short succession.#it sucks in a major way. and things are still continuously tumultuous.#but you dont see me lording it over people and using it as an excuse to be an asshole.#maybe i make people uncomfortable with how casually i mention it. but like whatever. it's simply my truth.#that's still just like. me just talking about what ive been up to. that kind of thing.#idk acting like someone needs to be treated with the most tender of touches after experiencing a major death#to the point where you cant even tell them when theyre being a manipulative little asshole?#i dont fucking think so!#yeah okay all grief hits different but ive pulled myself up by the bootstraps and kept my head on straight#even after i experienced death after death after death after death after Fucking Death#whats your excuse? youre Sad? we all fucking are. thats just life.#it's horrible and awful and it sucks that we have to live with this but you CANT let that affect how you treat other people!!!!!#and here i am making my own post venting about it instead of replying to the aita post that sparked this#bc the person the post was about just made me so angry to hear about.#but i am... a reasonable adult who separates themselves from situations before reacting in anger...#and so im making a tumblr post to get the emotions out instead of getting emotional at random strangers lol#anyways i actually had a pretty good day today. but in the way of grief. the smallest things can trigger moods sometimes.#but i am letting the emotions flow... here they are... i have expressed them... and i shall now release them... amen...#negative/#i guess lol. i sure did rant enough for it.
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