#and the fact that’s it’s happened twice is even CRAZIER

[diltonsstrangescience]

Okay. For real this time. I have found the most unbelievable, the most ridiculous, the most unlikely thing to happen twice in The Man From R.I.V.E.R.D.A.L.E. canon.

Starch-stiff snakes.

Twice.

I have officially seen it all.

[istanchan]

if I had a nickel for every time Bible and Jes played in a queer MV together I’d have two nickels, which isn’t a lot but crazy that it happened twice!!

Even crazier given the fact that Bible plays a queer diety? Who Jes is sacrificed to!! I need a thai fan to explain the whole lore because this is so cool.

Also very hilarious to me that the singer had posted on TikTok asking people what Male Thai celeb, who isn’t afraid of snakes (slang for dick), should be in the MV—and we got these two!! They’re really for the queers and I love that for them!!

[juyeonszn]

WHAT IS LOVE?

PAIRING ₊˚⊹ lee juyeon x f!reader

GENRES ₊˚⊹ fluff﹒crack﹒angst﹒slice of life

WARNINGS ₊˚⊹ mature language bc even on a different blog i won’t ever change, uni!au, reader is a matchmaker, juyeon plays baseball, lots of kys and kms jokes, sunwoo is an incel, a bunch of lesbian jokes, um one sided pining for a while, like i am absolutely ruthless to reader for a Hot Minute i am so sorry, but it’s okay!!! bc then i’m also ruthless to juyeon, the unrequited love in this series goes crazy, it wouldn’t be a fawn smau without a second lead — so there is a small second lead moment, most of the written parts are full of sheer Angst and i’m not sorry about it, there’s like idol shipping in here ? but it’s for the sake of the plot i swear i don’t condone idol shipping 😭 it’s literally in my carrd, the bullying in this smau goes even crazier, ummm for some reason there are a lot of barbie references towards the end

FEATURING ₊˚⊹ the rest of tbz, soyeon + yuqi from (g)-idle, seonghwa from ateez, lee know from skz, sakura from le sserafim, dahyun + tzuyu from twice, jaehyun from nct and mingyu from seventeen

SUMMARY ₊˚⊹ all is well in the business of matchmaking. except it’s actually not, because lee juyeon, the school’s star baseball player, has just come to you for help in obtaining the girl of his dreams. oh yeah! and he happens to be the guy you’ve had a crush on since your first year of university.

STATUS ₊˚⊹ complete!

BEGINNING ₊˚⊹ august 1st, 2023

ENDING ₊˚⊹ october 19th, 2023

MORE ₊˚⊹ HIIIII hello!!! my first smau on another blog this is crazy ?!!2!!22!!2 fun fact; in case the plot seems familiar, it was an old wip for yeonjunszn that i had for jake from enhypen and decided to scrap for reasons that i do not remember LOL but then it came back to me and i decided to redo it for juyo bc it was so juyo-coded and now we’re here 🤗 send an ask to join the taglist (bc note and dm notifs get swallowed up with the ones from my other blog)!!

PROFILES ₊˚⊹ realize real eyes real lies | ball hitters + the token lesbian | ouran high school host club (+ tzuyu)

ONE ₊˚⊹ i’m the ceo president and chair mama

TWO ₊˚⊹ the hwang yeji incident

THREE ₊˚⊹ i hide and u seek therapy!

FOUR ₊˚⊹ /s or /j

FIVE ₊˚⊹ setting virgins up with other virgins

SIX ₊˚⊹ POSER FAKE FAN

SEVEN ₊˚⊹ #mancrushfriday #mrstealyogirl

EIGHT ₊˚⊹ I HATE WHEN WOMEN ARE RIGHT

NINE ₊˚⊹ the start of a W matchmaking season

TEN ₊˚⊹ ur on THIN ICE JAMAL

ELEVEN ₊˚⊹ Just Like A Doughnut (2.04k)

TWELVE ₊˚⊹ need a comically large piano to fall on top of me

THIRTEEN ₊˚⊹ hit tweet follow me 🙌🙏

FOURTEEN ₊˚⊹ what the bell are u talking about

FIFTEEN ₊˚⊹ THAT WAS A CRY FOR HELP

SIXTEEN ₊˚⊹ chest heavy eyes misty

SEVENTEEN ₊˚⊹ they laugh at me cause i’m emo

EIGHTEEN ₊˚⊹ sangyeon boyfriend material era

NINETEEN ₊˚⊹ Blocked and Reported for threatening language

TWENTY ₊˚⊹ A Hole In The Shape Of You (2.17k)

TWENTY ONE ₊˚⊹ men against song yuqi

TWENTY TWO ₊˚⊹ i thought we were friends.

TWENTY THREE ₊˚⊹ u think i’m pretty??? 🥰

TWENTY FOUR ₊˚⊹ for research purposes

TWENTY FIVE ₊˚⊹ The Middle Of My Heart (1.60k)

TWENTY SIX ₊˚⊹ AND THE CROWD GOES WILD

TWENTY SEVEN ₊˚⊹ to me it was

TWENTY EIGHT ₊˚⊹ clown to clown communication

TWENTY NINE ₊˚⊹ A Space Just For You (2.05k)

THIRTY ₊˚⊹ THE JUYEON THERAPY FUND

THIRTY ONE ₊˚⊹ is this pic AI generated

THIRTY TWO ₊˚⊹ i’m gay…

THIRTY THREE ₊˚⊹ 11:11 make a wish

THIRTY FOUR ₊˚⊹ Our Love Loop (2.62k)

THIRTY FIVE ₊˚⊹ graduated from bitchless university

© juyeonszn. do not steal, claim, or repost.

[tlouconfidential]

Of course labeling people as "good" or "bad" all depends on perspective, I don't think I hate Abby lol I'd be pissed if someone killed my dad too. She wild as hell tho for tracking him down after all these years lol, but i guess ellie does beat her in that apartment 😭 it's giving "I am crazier!!!!" vibes.

Obviously Joel is no saint and eventually someone was gonna get real pissed with him, but i will say, if someone killed my dad to save their child, it would make me think twice. Abby tried reassuring her dad and saying "if it was me I'd want you to go through with the surgery" but i think it's easier for her to say that when she's not the one on the operating table. They knocked ellie's ass out so they could kill her, mind you she's a CHILD.

And yes, Joel was fuckin brutalll with killing all those fireflies in the hospital, but its not like he could've waltzed up to the OR and said "hey, let go of my kid and lets talk it out!!" I dont think the fireflies were leaving him much of a choice either....

They clearly knew who joel and ellie were in the tunnel, marlene saying "oh they didn't recognize you sorry for knocking you out" was such fuckin bullshit. Someone said there were journal entries from when joel and ellie first entered the tunnel, they've also been anticipating their arrival for months so i'm sure they knew who the fuck joel and ellie were.

I'm sure Abby was bitter over the death of friends too, but i don't think she cared as much about the fact that there couldn't be a cure anymore as she was about her dad being killed. I'm not excusing what joel and ellie did, i definitely think ellie did a lot more damage than abby did, but I don't think Abby is completely innocent either. I'm just irked at naughty dog for making ellie suffer so much and have her end up alone, couldn't they have cut her some slack like goddamn. Not to mention joel and tommy would never have been dumb enough to tell strangers their names, I don't care if they've been in jackson for 20 years I dont think those kinds of instincts leave you. Hell even on outbreak day when that family was asking for a ride joel already wanted to not help them. Yeah whatever i know they needed it to happen for the story to progress, yada yada. They could've done something a little different though idk. and yes, even if they did say fake names I'm sure abby would still already know who they were, who knows though it could've bought them a little bit more time before it all went to shit.

.

[allforafro]

New chapter made me think and I came up with quite an interesting theory that I had already thought about earlier.

In one of the earlier chapters, Kudou said that all for one killed not only the owners of one for all but also their relatives.

Why afo didn't kill AM is obvious. So let's move on to other family members of the previous owners.

So it made me wonder why Kotaro and his family were still alive until Tenko killed them. Tenko, not all for one. 🤔 And thanks to this chapter, when it turned out that Kotaro knew afo, I thought, what if Shimura family is closer to afo and that's why he didn't want to kill them?

Okay, that would theoretically explain why they are alive, but we still have one person who knows the whole afo/ofa thing and still avoids death. I'm talking about Gran Torino

From what we saw, he escaped death at least twice. But why wouldn't afo care about Gran Torino when we know he recognized him as Nana's friend. We also know that after seeing what happened to Shigaraki, he began to doubt whether Nana's decision to give up his son was right (remember that it was GT who encouraged Nana to do it). So why would the two of them make such a decision?

From what we saw, he escaped death at least twice. But why wouldn't afo care about Gran Torino when we know he recognized him as Nana's friend. We also know that after seeing what happened to Shigaraki, he began to doubt whether Nana's decision to give up his son was right (remember that it was GT who encouraged Nana to do it). So why would the two of them make such a decision?

From Nana and Sorahiko's interactions, we know that they were close to each other, they even knew each other by name, which would indicate their close, even friendly relationship. What if it wasn't just friendship, but a romantic relationship? There is a chance that Gran Torino may really be Kotaro's father. Especially since they are so similar.

This part may be crazier for some people than the previous one but please listen to me until the end.

The fact that GT would be Kotaro's father wouldn't explain why afo decided to let him live as if he didn't care about him at all.

But what if Gran Torino is related to All for one?

From the chapters about the afo's past, their relationship as brothers can be excluded. But what if he is his son.

Ok, I know that considering what I wrote earlier, it seems far-fetched, but if we assume that it is, it would even be interesting. Shimura's relationship with afo's son could explain why Shigaraki looks like Yoichi.

All for one could definitely prepare a plan in advance to possess a body that could survive crossing the singularity point. That's why he could have some children.

Actually I think, Sorahiko is quite similar to afo.

ok, maybe these photos are not of good quality but I couldn't find better ones, sorry guys 😔

[taegularities]

THE BIG REVEAL. Finally I understand when jungkook confirmed that even when he was hooking up with Nara, the feelings were long over. And then Nara saying he talked about her to OC. Does that mean Jk liked her from the frat party and sought for her like finding her and taking the same class the next semester?

sorry im gonna ramble, but that's bc you're the only one who pointed this out and !! i want to mention nara :')

yeeep, friendly (painful?) reminder that jk and nara weren't done after the frat party yet. like remember that part from cmi4 below? but you're so right, the hook ups were casual for sure.. and oc's name fell once or twice.

that didn't happen bc he was still a fuckboy btw, but bc he and nara still had this huge ass history together and it wasn't easy to truly let go :') when he did, it wasn't just oc, but also the fact that he and nara couldn't go on like this. i don't want to say he got over her just bc of oc — he was distracted, but most of all he was just over that part of his life and ready to move on.. and then oc came to him like a breeze. not in love, but when he saw her in class or was with her in any way, he didn't think about nara anymore.

so in that sense, although jk and oc didn't have proper feelings yet, he remembered oc and liked her personality and how they clicked back at the party. a very lowkey crush maybe? where you like seeing that person, but you don't excessively think about that person/are ok with not seeing them for a while. so he didn't seek oc out in that next semester either, but he was delighted when he saw her — which makes things even crazier, bc doesn't that truly show that they really are meant to be? their paths always align.

[exmcrtis]

🐞 ---- Do they believe in love at first sight? If not, what's the reason? (ALL >.>)

artemis absolutely believes in love at first sight. will not be elaborating at this time. don't even ask her.

bella already answered here.

cain for sure believes in love at first sight but will never openly admit to it. however, if you watch the way he looks at val, it's blatantly obvious.

dawson believes in like at first sight but not love at first sight. their brain is far too logical for any of that nonsense. their words, not mine.

ezra has always believed in love at first sight, and felt that it was confirmed after meeting icarus. he's the only person she's ever loved romantically, and he's the only person she will ever love romantically. she firmly believes that he's her soulmate.

halley believes that falling in love with someone takes time. she's also never been one to trust her own emotions fully and will overthink every little thing whenever she can. she much prefers taking her time with things like love.

lavender believes in love at first sight, but is reasonable enough to know that it happens to others, but never her. she's in love with being in love and in love with the idea of it, but she's more made to watch from the sidelines rather than ever experience it herself.

leia has always believed in love at first sight, and she's hellbent on the fact that she can prove it. her only evidence is that she's had a crush on the same boy for years, but in her mind it totally counts.

luca doesn't believe in love at first sight. he never have and he never will, and you can thank his abandonment daddy issues on that one. however, he's learning that like at first sight is a thing, and it terrifies him.

ondine definitely believes in love at first sight. how could she not when she's been lucky enough to experience it twice?

pru has always believed in love at first sight but never thought it could happen to her. and then she met conrad greene and her whole outlook on life changed. however, she would probably never admit any of that out loud, if only because thinks people will find her crazier than they already do.

salem didn't believe in love at first sight until recently. she's never really been one to develop romantic or emotional feelings for another person, but meeting gio rossi really threw her for a loop.

sare believes in love at first sight, but she also knows that love takes time. feeling the feelings is far different than immediately acting on them.

violet doesn't believe in love at first sight, but she does believe in soulmates. until meeting rex, she hadn't ever experienced genuine love, but he's clearly changed her mind about that.

wolf surprisingly does believe in love at first sight. however, he knows it's because that's the only way he can explain how he fell for arty so quickly.

wylie used to believe in love at first sight, but she no longer does. how could the universe be so cruel as to give you something so precious only to rip it away unexpectedly? safe to say that wylie doesn't believe love is real at all anymore.

[incendio22]

FOR THE HOPE OF IT ALL

Pt 2 Chapter 16: Reunion

Imelda wakes me up early the next morning by shaking my shoulders. When I open my eyes, I see her face 10 centimetres away from mine. She's normally full of energy in the mornings, but this is something more than usual.

''Y/n!'' she almost yells as my eyes open wide. ''Get up!''

''Ugh,'' I roll over to my side and face away from her.

I have no idea what could be the matter this early in the morning, but unless the castle is on fire I plan on going back to sleep. I spent almost half the night in the astronomy tower with Sebastian, kissing, talking and dreaming about the future. I was so happy to be back in a good place with Sebastian. For so long I pushed my feelings away, desperately telling myself that I was better off on my own. But there is something about realizing the difference between what you want and what you need. I figured Sebastian was a need, at this point. And you always find your way back to what you need.

''I need to tell you something,'' she hops onto my bed, sits by my feet and crosses her legs. Eventually I sit up to, still unsure what I'm doing awake this early. ''We kissed.''

Imelda looks ecstatic with eyes sparkling and flushed cheeks. She covers her face with her hands and folds herself over her lap.

''Merlin!'' I gasp, as if I suddenly have forgotten how tired I was just two seconds before. ''That's amazing, Imelda!''

''You know what he told me?'' She says with a slightly embarrassed look on her face as she puts her hands in her lap. ''He said that it was as if his body remembered me, as if his lips remembered me. As if this wasn't our first time kissing.''

''What did you say to that?'' I ask her carefully, knowing that this is an extremely sensitive topic.

''Well, the truth,'' she looks down as she speaks. ''I told him that we were together last year, but that I didn't want to force anything when he didn't remember. He seemed sad over the fact that he didn't remember, but also glad to know that something had happened between us.''

I am so happy for the two of them and I find it extremely beautiful that these two people didn't just manage to fall in love with each other once, but twice. Some things must simply be decided by fate.

''I'm so glad for you,'' I tell her and reach for her hands, taking them in mine. ''You deserve nothing but happiness.''

Imelda gives me a sincere smile before she tilts her head, changing her face from sweet and ecstatic to rather devious.

''You, on the other hand,'' Imelda sounds intrigued. ''Forgot to tell me about the important detail that you and Sebastian are dating again.''

''Well,'' I hesitate. ''He was the one that insisted that we are dating.''

''Knock it off, Y/n,'' she rolls her eyes. ''He might be crazy about you, but I know you. You're crazier about him. Stop trying to hold it back, just let go. He likes you, you like him. It doesn't have to be more difficult than that.''

I know she's right. And I've been trying so hard to move on, always finding myself unable to. I've been telling myself that I'm better off on my own, when I know I would be better with him. And when I was hurt, I hurt him. I'm just afraid we might go back to a place where we just end up hurting each other.

''You're right,'' I tell her, pulling my blanket closer. ''I'm just scared of getting hurt. I don't ever want to feel the way I felt when we broke up. Like I was nothing. And I'm even more scared of what damage I might do if I'm hurt like that.''

''Everyone's afraid of getting hurt, dummy,'' she says in a soft voice. ''It's just a risk you have to take if you love someone. People can be good and still hurt you. And the fact that you're even thinking about what damage you might do, shows that you at least won't hurt anyone on purpose. That's about as good as it gets.''

Imelda drags me out of bed and we head to the Great Hall for breakfast. We head over to Anne and Ominis, who are already sitting there looking rather finished with their breakfast. Anne looks exhausted, as if she hasn't slept in ages. Both of them say good morning in happy voices as we sit down. I look around to see Sebastian, but he doesn't seem to be around.

''Where's Sebastian?'' I ask.

''He was heading to Hogsmeade,'' Anne says with a smile.

''No idea why he was going there,'' Ominis says as he takes a bite of bread. ''He seemed rather secretive about it.''

''He didn't,'' Anne argues. ''I think he just wanted some time alone.''

''Oh yeah,'' Imelda says with a grin. ''Y/n's been driving him crazy, I would need some time alone too if I was dating her.''

''Don't be rude,'' I argue and roll my eyes at her.

''If anyone would need a break it's Y/n'' Ominis says as he laughs.

''I really don't want to be part of this conversation,'' Anne laughs as she shrugs her shoulders and leaves.

''I mean,'' Imelda starts. ''I've been living with this girl for two years. She's a handful.''

''Try living with Sebastian for seven,'' Ominis sighs as he speaks.

''That sounds like a blessing,'' I tell him jokingly. ''Choose your words carefully, Ominis.''

''Or what?'' Ominis asks firmly.

''I'll destroy you in a duel,'' I tell him in seriously.

''I actually knocked out like 15 goblins last week,'' he says in a proud voice. ''Don't assume I can't beat you in a duel just because I can't see you.''

''You should've seen him!'' Imelda says in a joyful tone. ''Sebastian and I were fighting the goblins and Ominis just went around petrifying them. It was amazing!''

Of course I wanted to see that happening, but due to certain circumstances I was locked in a cellar whilst passed out. When I finish breakfast I leave Ominis and Imelda alone. I figure they are in some honeymoon phase where they just want to be with each other and catch up on the time they lost together.

I decide to head to Hogsmeade myself. Not because I want to look for Sebastian, but because I have nothing else to do. And for some reason, I want to find inspiration to do something kind for Sebastian. He may have hurt me, but I hurt him too. I was blinded by my pain and was unable to see the harm I caused him. If I want us to have any chance to work out, it's going to take some effort on my behalf as well.

My steps feel light as I walk towards to small wizarding village. There are few yellow leaves left on the trees along the road, as most of them have fallen to the ground and started to turn into a brown color. Since last year, when Sebastian always complained about how cold I was, I always wear my thickest scarf and gloves. I feel at peace in the crispy coldness, the almost completely empty road and the leaves that are telling me that winter is soon to arrive.

Hogsmeade seems to be resting today. Very few people are outside and most of the shops seem to be closed. I head towards Tomes and Scrolls, not sure if I would find something there but it feels right. I enter the shop, facing the massive bookshelves and feel clueless about where to start. I climb the ladder to the upper floor and find a small selection of books from the muggleworld. I recognize some of the titles such as Romeo and Juliet. My hand reaches for the hard cover book. The front seems to be painted by hand, two characters intertwined and each other's arms and a rose falling to the ground. It's beautiful.

I'm not sure if Sebastian would read a muggle book, but he did after all tell me a year ago that he did buy one to read about Paris after I told him I went there. Even if he would turn out not to be a fan of muggle literature, I know he loves a good book. And this one must have found its way here because it's simply too good for even the wizards not to read. I pay for the book and make my way to Madam Puddifoots, where I order the same coffee that I had when I was here with Sebastian on Valentine's Day.

I open the book and start reading, but I am quickly interrupted by my own daydreams. Thoughts of me and Sebastian growing old, having a house of our own and a garden full of magical plants for him. I know it's silly, but it doesn't hurt anyone to have thoughts like these. Sometimes when our hands touch, not when we hold hands but when they just touch quickly, it's like I can see a glimpse of all that. A glimpse of kisses on foreheads, a child, cooking together and being there for one another in rough times. The good and the bad. I don't know if he ever experienced it, but for me it's almost a magical sensation. To catch a glimpse of what can be. And it brings me comfort.

[wangyunchen]

Tim Drake is one of those rare cases where every crazy, out-of-context thing you hear about him gets crazier with context

Made up a fake uncle to avoid being adopted? First he had to steal his dead father's will and change it to include his fake uncle's name, then he forged a whole set of legal documents to fool Batman, and finally hired an unlucky actor to play the uncle and own him. Brainstorm with him about his character's backstory. Judging by his surprised reaction when Bruce offered to adopt him, he probably did it to avoid being in foster care, not even considering that Bruce might want to adopt him (despite the fact that he'd already adopted three orphans before) (and then Bruce learns about it and gives him more freedom and crime-fighting gear so that Tim will like him)

Sneaking into Gotham in No Man's Land? He does this twice, first on his own to meet his girlfriend at the hospital when she's having a baby (he infiltrates the ER as a nurse), and then with his young Justice friends who think he and Batman have daddy issues and want to help. (This was before he was adopted by Bruce.) (They also picked up an Atlantean tourist who wanted to tour Gotham City along the way)

Blowing up several secret League of Assassins bases? Prior to that, he spent a few days working with them as a member to earn their trust (this was when he robbed that art museum) while they kept the daughter of his father's coworker in custody, who came looking for Tim and learned about his secret life as a cop. Before she learns that he was an assassin before Mockingbird (and then somehow falls in love with him)

Will the future be a murderous, evil Batman? Not only that, but he convinces his friends to join him in his evil ways and then takes control of half the country after killing every hoodlum in Gotham and his aunt. Tim fights this version of himself at least three times, each time swearing he'll never become Gun Batman (he still becomes Gun Batman)

Using his legal last name as a hero name? He didn't even come up with the idea, he met another Earth version of himself (also evil) who was using the name and thought "Oh, that's a good name" and stole it for himself. He didn't bother to check if the other Drake's identity was public before he started using it. Then he gets pulled aside and reprimanded by Batman himself for using such a stupid name, which is why he's no longer known as Drake!

Insulting Jason to his face when he tries to kill him? Did this many times, and even kicked Jason once (not during their fight, just as retaliation) (he's now Jason's favorite brother)

And then, nothing that happens to Teen Justice needs any context because it's just as weird as it sounds. Yes, he did save the fate of a planet by playing baseball with his friends. Yes, they did invade an entire sovereign nation to rescue the parents of friends who had been turned into babies. Yes, they did see Santa die in a fiery explosion

Translated with DeepL

[adamwatchesmovies]

Free Birds (2013)

Free Birds is almost there. There are occasionally funny and clever moments but as a whole, it’s just not that well written.

After escaping the fate of most turkeys around Thanksgiving, Reggie (voiced by Owen Wilson) is forced to go on an adventure with Jake (Woody Harrelson), a member of the Turkey Freedom Front. Together, they hop into a time machine and travel back to 1621 so they can prevent the very first Thanksgiving - and every subsequent turkey massacre - from happening.

I’ll give “Free Birds” this much; it’s a better film than I expected. There are few obvious time travel jokes, the plot is original, and it even has some genuine laughs. I love the concept. Turkeys going back in time to prevent a massive, annual gravy-covered genocide is so crazy it could lead anywhere. What if they make a wrong move and accidentally wipe out their entire species, or inadvertently cause the human race to starve? Your imagination runs wild with possibilities, making the actual results that much more disappointing.

Why is it that Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure is the only time machine movie that actually uses a time machine correctly? In Free Birds, our heroes can jump backward in history whenever they want. It’s not a one-way trip like in The Terminator. If the film was written with any intelligence, it would mean limitless potential. The second someone is in a perilous situation, here comes a gadget from the future to help them out of their jam! Instead, it’s a time travel story that features characters with a much more limited imagination than the audience mixed blended with a been-there-done-that children’s film. The instant you see Reggie talk to the native turkeys of 1621, you know exactly what’s going to happen between him and Jenny (Amy Poehler). Once a mystery surrounding the “Great Turkey” is established, you'll easily predict what's coming next. If you wait for the movie to use its assets to their full potential, you'll still be waiting after the end credits have finished scrolling.

There's got to be someone influential out there who saw the film's potential and plans on someday remaking it. To them, I have some advice. Firstly, ditch Reggie. He’s boring. The only thing he’s got going is that, at first, he’s the smartest turkey around. That concept is dropped the instant he winds up in the past. Next, make it smarter, or at least crazier. Then this film would have an identity. It would stand out and make up for the fact that it’s not really a film about turkeys, just feathered people, and not particularly well-animated ones either.

Free Birds could’ve been something special, a Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs kind of zany tale that buckled your expectations. Instead, it’s destined to be forgotten. The only ones who will remember it are those who saw it when they were too young to judge it appropriately. Unfortunately, they're the ones who will suffer from it the most, as they will inevitably revisit it to "prove the naysayers wrong" and wind up wasting twice as much time as everyone else on Free Birds. (January 27, 2017)

[egcdeath]

first of all your thoughts on patrick's honesty being stifled in succession au are so true and interesting because it's such a core part of who he is and what makes him such a great character but!! imagine him losing that over time once he gets involved with the business... like part of why you fell in love with him in the first place despite him being a mess when you met was how honest and raw he is (like how shiv can be) and then you watch that slowly go away over time, even within your relationship, once the succession plot kicks in and it hurts you because it marks a shift in your dynamic especially once you're on opposing sides. also idk how i hadn't put this together earlier but calling specifically josh o'connor's earlobes thick and chewy like barnacle meat... it's perfect.

emotional crutch is absolutely what you are to each other because yes the way tomshiv came together after logan's plane incident (lol) despite literally saying "this is it" about their marriage to each other and the outward appearance of divorce and talking shit about each other is absolutely the core of the marriage and it makes me feel crazy!! like even with all the tension and issues piling up and the marriage being doomed to implode from the start, that relationship and what you are to each other is still so important because nobody cares about him like you do and vice versa and he loves you the only way he knows how. and tom called shiv from the plane first TWICE!!! tom's perspective is also so interesting because we know he has a good relationship with his married parents especially compared to shiv so maybe how that night and day difference plays into the different ways you and patrick view children and romance and commitment and how you were the one to propose at the hospital because you thought it would be a "nice thing" (lmao) also carries over to the pregnancy and how you view parenting and how his fears affect the way you interact

and oh my god the taking the fall for jail thing... insane to think about because the depression tom had about it in s3 and how it altered his perception of shiv and the way he operated moving forward carrying over to you and the ambition you have for climbing up especially after going through that and especially if you were PREGNANT? and actually having physical connection to him and his family without him knowing? it's even crazier than shiv hiding it from tom

and for the kendallrava dynamic... i think art as stewy has a role in this relationship and tension because nobody brings out patrick's jealousy and insecurity like he does and he would stir some shit up if you were having relationship issues. it would contribute to patrick's repression of his emotions and like the blurring of art's involvement in your marriage and in the business at the same time would create such mess and of course nobody can communicate properly in the most toxic throuple of all time that never was. and the fact that you're totally removed from the business and the only reason you're still around is for patrick and your life together is very angsty and makes him basically fall to his knees for you not to leave him because the only reason you're here is him and what happens if he's not enough anymore?

also i have kind of been thinking about where tashi could possibly fit into all of this and the potential answer is right in front of my face but i totally missed it: tashi's kind of like nate. like imagine her and patrick having history and working really well together and the jealousy... ooh

(also i love you too we are on the same wavelength this is very fun <3)

it’s always such a treat to get one of these messages in my inbox 🙏🏽

all the love to josh o’connor but calling his earlobes thick and meaty and like barnacle meat is actually so funny and perfect so idk how i can NOT write that at this point!

i can see the theme of watching patrick lose his true sense of self because of all of the family politics working really well with either dynamic! i think with the kendallrava dynamic that’s just one more thing you have to watch him lose and realize that he really can’t even be honest with himself anymore, and i think with the tomshiv dynamic i can see patrick’s honesty being something you always found really refreshing from him and something that truly made him different from some of the other people you’ve been with, and you start realizing that you’re losing/lost it once it starts to become obvious to you that he’s getting caught up with his family and that it’s pretty possible that he’s having an affair. (also. tashi as nate? so extremely big brained)

the emotional crutch part is just sooo everything to me honestly. like these characters put each other through HELL. even after shiv lays into him a bit and is like we should get divorced they’re laying in bed together HOLDING HANDS!!! i’m just thinking about how devastating it would be for patrick to randomly stroll into your apartment to “grab clothes” (after you’ve just spent the day working with his father to try to undermine the deal he’s working on), wake you up, tell you that you look good, make comments about your love life, suggest that you should actually get divorced (even though you were holding onto a little hope that you could get past this), then end up in the same bed holding hands and talking about how you have it a go. nauseating. then not that later he finds out you’ve been going around to the best divorce attorneys in the city talking to them just so they can’t talk to him and how devastated he would be that you’re taking a page out of his own evil father’s book and kinda turning into him in a way. i love pain and suffering!

great points about their upbringing and how that changes the way they view things like having kids and marriage as a whole! i think reader probably always very genuinely wanted a family/stable marriage with patrick and the second that he tells her on her wedding night that he wants to try an open relationship kinda throws everything for a loop. i think she still holds out hope that their relationship will work out for strategy purposes but also because she really does love that man no matter how hard she tries to hide it! like i think maybe she’d suggest having a child while she thinks she might be going to jail for this scandal because she thinks she might get better treatment in jail if she’s pregnant but also because she actually wants his child!

i do think the taking the fall thing would probably be one of the final nails in the coffin on her side for their relationships. like that kind of betrayal would just be too much for her to personally handle. and you’re right, if she was pregnant already when that happened that would be even more devastating 😭

toxic throuple that never was patrick art and reader is very intriguing to me. except im actually going to say that art doesn’t even really want reader but he DOES want to stir shit up and make it more difficult for patrick to succeed with one more struggle he’s facing in life. i really do need to see patrick be pathetic and beg for you to stay and confess that you’re the only thing keeping him afloat and he doesn’t know what he’ll do without you, and you as reader knowing that the relationship is so bad for you but staying anyway because you love him. devastating stuff.

i know i already said tashi as nate is big brained but it really is. like just knowing of her and googling her a few times and finally meeting her right before your wedding and just knowing that patrick has very obviously been with her, probably pretty recently, is absolutely gut wrenching. maybe not worse than patrick’s sibling committing accidental vehicular manslaughter during the wedding but pretty damn bad.

ugh i love your brain!!!

[arianakam]

Just saw a post on a simplified Chinese app about Kit Connor being forced to out last year. It explains the increasing fierce conflict between LGBTQ+ wanting to protect everything them have for now and celebrities especially actors trying to avoid being faced with sexuality directly.

We all see that LGBTQ+ have been struggling for such a long time to get the rights they deserved gradually and they were even against the law about just 20 years ago. Things were even crazier in the 1960s, homosexuals were serious crimes ought to be arrested. All the rights they have now are the results of endless fights they have made throughout these years with so many blood and tears.

So it’s understandable that they just want to protect what they have now and fight for a better circumstance for living. Now the thing is some actors who are straight or intend to make their sexuality unclear while making money or gain fame and supporting from LGBTQ+ , yet at the same time, real LGBTQ+ have endure failure in their careers out of invisible discrimination. Those actors, which are called queerbaiting, easily get supporting from both sides and squeeze the space of real LGBTQ+.

But despite the so called ‘political correctness’, there still exists invisible and solid discrimination even in Hollywood or mainstream western society. Actors have to think twice before actually coming out, for this action will certainly have serious influence on their careers and lives, they are probably been fixed on a certain figure. And also, they love life will be focused on all the time.

Political correctness is just a wonderful shelter for discrimination against LGBTQ+ to get more and more solid and invisible, for escaping is never a solution.

In that case that conflict happened all on Kit and he was cornered to be either a queerbaiting or a LGBTQ+.

But it is never the scramble between actors and audiences!!!!!!!!! They are all struggling to use the existing disciplines to make themselves live a better life!!!!!!!!!!!

Only when sexuality is no longer a standard of judgement of acting or any other aspect can actors feel free to talk about their sexuality like the hobbies they have.

Coming out itself sounds like presupposing getting discriminated or being ashamed of sexuality. In fact we should not have that concept at all!!!!!!!!

People should feel free about talking about their sexuality just like what they had for lunch today!!!!!!!!! That’s not supposed to be a privacy issue we have to hide from the public!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why can heterosexuals talking about their love ones, love stories and sexuality at their will but we can just avoid talking about ours to escape from being discriminated!!!!!!!!!!!! We just hide our sexuality as a shameful secrets!!!!!!!!

What have we done wrong????????? Straight people can get fame and support from us and so can LGBTQ+ people!!!!!!!!!!

Revolution means blooding and sacrificing. The problem now is that nobody want to be the volunteers and victims, but only those who get the benefit from the winning😂😂😂😂😂 Certainly understandable but not practical 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[adultswim2021]

Frisky Dingo #23: “Wendell Goes Undercover Again” | March 10, 2008 - 12:15AM | S02E10

Time to go through the motions with Frisky Dingo. In this episode, the plot advances slightly. We find out that the Annihilatrix is in need of repair, and that the spare coupling was traded away by Simon to his Hobbit friend. He, in turn, gave it to Wendell for the privilege of getting to suck his dick. Taqu'il almost doesn’t survive jumping out of the plane, but does (which, by the way, crashes into Killface and Simon’s condo; not sure if this is a plot point or just a What About Bob style indignity).

Mr. Ford actually shot down the plane, and I’m not sure I accurately stated that that’s what happened in the last write-up. I actually watched these episodes twice each and thought that would be enough to rehash the plots of them accurately. Anyway, Ford’s officially been sworn in as president and tells the secret service that Taqu’il may have a doppelganger as a protective measure. Stan, as we know, had clones in season one (I forget if something happened to make him no longer have clones or if they’ve been in this season). 

Wendell is going undercover as a Decepticle so he can get close to Antagone and kill the monster baby she’s carrying. On the Decepticle craft we learn that Sinn doesn’t want children with the lobster guy, and that she is probably going to be leaving him for Val. He’s heartbroken. Meanwhile, Wendell manages to get close to Antagone so he can make a Star Wars reference and also he and the lobster guy decide to team up and RESCUE Antagone. They’ve both fallen in love with her. That’s basically where we leave it.

There were a few jokes in this that I liked alright. They were basically little subtle character things like Xander belching in mid-conversation with Wendell (what a pig!). The fact that the show goes out of it’s way to treat abortion so callously is fun. Abortion jokes are still dicey by today’s standards because anti-abortion people have only gotten crazier since this episode aired. Who knew that stuff like this would become an even harder sell as time marched on?

There’s also a joke where one of the Decepticles is beating off while looking at Antagone’s birthing canal, which is pretty rude. I’m not even sure I like it. It just might be too rude.

[xxxdragonfucker69xxx]

PART THREE POINT TWO: DARI OF THE MISTS

i was promised a fnu and fucked up spot and i was NOT disappointed. the old laws and the afterlives make the underworld so bizarrely, like, potent? in ways i would normally say are metaphorical but are in fact literal. dari is where you go if you die in debt, and it is a city of debtors, but it can't be permanent slavery -- that isnt the old law of debt. &btw The mists

KESUNDANG!!!!! whoever wrote this you have my regards. its an indonesian segmented state and its a GIANT FUCKING SWORd mountain. and you fight your way to the top. they have scooped me to 10kdays. also at its top is a strangler fig marked with the tally of lives, because "Everything happens, will happen, and will have happened. Here is the truth of death: it cannot  leave. Life cannot leave."

and now afterlives, starting with crumbling farum i mean the moment of flame and darkness, which goes hard as hell. an everlasting suspended explosion of smoke and fume, it's the afterlife of those who die in the prison city of fortitude, and its heroes can grab wild shit out of its heart, and fight off spectres who are here for the same

....except, of course, if you die unheroic and forgotten then you merge into the darkness and the flame and might become something like "the Torch of  Consumption, a once-sacrifice to the Buried God and now an ever-burning wraith". yippee

ixcoatli's shadow is really interesting bc the ixcoatli theomilitary preaches reincarnation, so what do you do when you wake up as a ghost instead? some of them train to become warriors and earn reincarnation, and become soldiers; some keep an enormous ghostly archive called the temple of twiceborn lives; sometimes the humans and frogfolk wear bird and serpent masks to recreate their living hierarchies

sky pavilion fucks. the varang live by astrological castes, but there's no stars in the underworld. tat's ok, storebought is fine. they built a night sky over the afterlife of varang, maintained by magical mechanism, with its own predictive power... but at the same time, it's now beginning to fall apart, giving you the opportunity to either wreck it or ruin it. getting real nokron vibes here.

the slowwwwww fucking gyre. i was sort of obsessed with the gaiders mourn story in fl so i was psyched as fucking hell to see this. if you die at sea, and you know its coming, you might be dragged into the slow gyre and the splintered steps, made of all the shipwrecks drawn into it

"gut anglers — inhuman, hook trailing hunters intent on dragging ghosts into the utmost depths" talk dirty to me

oh, it's called the splintered steps bc the salvage council is literally dragging shipwrecks around to form a stairway to the bottom where theres even crazier salvage. cool cool cool

the flint teeth if you die on the hunt you can wake up here and continue hunting things like "obsidian-footed oryxes, phantom-raptors with feathers of condensed regret,  and man-sized cobras that move through stone like fish through water". or get hunted by them. i love hunters moon

"The ghosts of the Teeth hunt above, and seek below. Memories and desires unmet congeal in the  deepest darknesses beneath the afterlife, filling subterranean chambers like trickles from an  aquifer. Some ghost drink deep, eventually dissolving in the bittersweet memory of goals  desperately sought after but never obtained. Such terminal passions can be distilled; those who  drink them are consumed for a time by the fervent, unmet desire of the twice-deceased." ugh i love this!!!!!!!!!

i have to paste the whole first paragraph of arid scape verbatim hangon

"Blasted by dust-filled wind and swirling cyclones of plutonic salt, baked by horrid failure-suns  which shed only heat and desiccation, the Arid Scape welcomes those who die of thirst or heatstroke. The brackish rivers Deadweight and Blacktongue curl around its base, while the salt seared Metody’s Breath cuts its way through its northern plateau. While outsiders caught in the  storms may be destroyed if they don’t find shelter, those dead who have already perished through  desiccation and heat once find themselves inured to its effects. Many are reduced to withered and  leathery figures by the Scape’s conditions, armoring themselves in their own baked skins. " &btw the dead hate it here but theyve grown used to the heat and everywhere else is deathly cold to them. fuuuuuuck

"In the humid Fields of Jamiyun, ghostly farmers toil and laze in the oppressive heat of a never ending summer. The ghosts here died of exhaustion amidst their labors in fields and rice paddies  throughout Creation. It is a languid afterlife, tiring but peaceful under the rule of King Jamiyun;  neighbors war against one another to control the roads in and out so they might dominate its  export of cereals and grains rich with the reverence of honest work. These rivals join together  only to fight the Three Bandit Kings, specter-warlords who bedevil the Fields of Jamiyun  infrequently with scourges of flame, frost, and locusts. " come on! come fucking on!!!!

oh my god they put the lotus naraka in here

WAN AKORE IS ONE OF THE UNDERWORLDS FAILED MOONS!!!

"The Peregrination is a cathedral that ambles on great legs of gristle and ivory; the ghosts of this  afterlife follow in its wake, for they are the souls of pilgrims who died in their journeying. It is  the fondest hope of these ghosts to ascend the cathedral" come fucking on. Those who manage are welcomed by the cathedral’s attendants, who fete  the pilgrim, anoint them in sacred acid-oils, and pour their dissolving corpus into a vast reliquary  chalice." come fucking on!!!!!!!!!

this commentary has become very incoherent this just bangs

i just had to copypaste the entire protruding city writeup into one of my other chats so. you know.

i sort of fucking love tournament. bros being guys. when the guys in the middle so much as shift pose everyone goes "oh shit" and writes 43,684 posts

"Stalker’s Lair is a mist-shrouded chain of forested islets featuring halls whose baroque  architecture is riddled with secret passages and intricate puzzles. The ghosts within enjoy a  contemplative afterlife, punctuated by moments of abject horror as they are fed upon by a many legged behemoth, semi-aquatic and feline. The hunter devours bites of their memories as its  food, and drinks in the resulting fear and confusion." JESUS

oh shit!!!!! dragon kings have their own network of afterlives connected by the journey of the nineteen-gate road.... fuck i really really love that

"The dead of the Anointed Steppe are wrapped in scrolls covered in intricate print, expediting  their passage through The Queues." oh i love the blue kingdom

shadowlands!! half here and half there. im flagging so im really gonna skim here but

" Rare phalanx-fruits sometimes blossom on the  outstretched hands of certain behemoth-corpses; when planted in Creation, they sprout ashen  trees laden with ebony leaves in a matter of days, sucking the land’s vitality dry in one greedy  gulp to leave a shadowland behind. " yeah thats hot

"Clientele often include both the recently and the long-since deceased, causing  merchants, night wardens, and street vendors to dabble in ancient turns of phrase to better suit  their customers. It’s not uncommon for such ventures to retain long-outdated social customs,  especially in shadowlands presided over by elder ghosts of significant power." really really love this bit

skullstooooooone. im not allowed to read this too closely bc spoilers but im going to just a little peek.

"In the hinterlands, goats and sheep graze heath, lichens, and seaweed to produce dairy; strange  fish, seabirds, and seals go into stews. Zombies farm crops that are hardy or touched by death:  bonewheats, legume, and root crops. Sickly-sweet berries make jams and wines; elites in Onyx  enjoy candies, soft breads, and rich blood soups, while sailors eat preserved pemmican.  Northwestern whale blubber and spices from the Neck — especially black pepper — are highly  prized." NO MORE CAVE SLIME

i got excited and posted early. mecha name demersal anarchy

THORNS

fuuuuuck i wanna run something in juggernaut so bad. maybe i can trick my old dnd group into it. i read abaddons new necromancy battlechess game and its sort of giving me the same itch

its really interesting to me how much thorns is characterized by the losses of the autocrats war, almost as much as being conquered by the mask. really really cool vibe

"Most homes in Thorns display elaborately carved and painted gates made of oak that residents  and visitors must pass through. Larger estates’ gates have two entrances: one large enough for a  carriage to pass beneath, the other sized for people on foot. The carvings depict the family’s  ancestors and their deeds, the Elemental Dragons, and blessings from the gods. Most gates are  topped with a shingle-roofed dovecote, where household members placed offerings and grave goods for their ancestors. The shadowland’s appearance has reunited some families with beloved  elders, making the gates a gathering place where youths consult with those who’ve gone before.  Other ghosts, whose families died in the fighting or fled the city, keenly feel the loss of the  offerings they once counted on. " love this. such a good good use of the metaphor and the literal.

" Though the  vineyards have struggled, cooks with access to pre-invasion vintages braise meats or roast  vegetables in it, and bottles scavenged from abandoned homes are common barter." like look at this!

the art and the music...and rebellion

....man! the revels! the arts and the music! thornish ghosts feel kinda guilty about it!

the academy eternal.... again, love to set something here

next up: a brief look at castes and then CHARMS

I'M BEHIND SCHEDULE

HOUR IN BLACK, PART THREE : THE UNDERWORLD

im skimming really fast because CHARMS have already dropped and i need to get there

!! the outline: lethe and the sea of shadows, but now islands jut out from it which are afterlives. some afterlives are ritual afterlives formed by funerary ceremony and ancestor worship, some are primeval afterlives about the manner of your death. big change! it's full of ghosts, who you mostly know. ghosts aren't their full living selves, death takes a lot from them and theyre defined by their passions and grow weirder after death,

soulsteel.....

phantom beasts! vesper-wolves and pyre-maggots.... cool

prehuman ghosts! omg even dragon king ghosts.... yes yes yes

the history of the underworld is so incredible. im usually sort of tepid on these sections, even though i like the idea of having a history, but for whatever reason this one is soooo cool to me

stygian archipelago!!!

"Bereft of stable stars or predictable trade winds, ghostly sailors develop other means of charting  their course, whether following in the wake of phantom leviathans, piloting their ships under the  auspice of oracular trances, or reconciling the movements of the Calendar of Setesh with local  geomancy" BANGIN!!!!

the old laws are so fascinating to e... the little hints have me a little bit obsessed. man imagine playing stories like the fallen london stories about correspondence and discordance but to repair the old laws... mmm

ugh i looove the different aterlives so much

whispers... and the labyrinth

"Specters in the thrall of Thundering Dissolution join their minds  with his in the Symphony of Omnipresence, a psychic whirlpool that shears away the borders  between their consciousnesses" oh y god i have to use this shit somehow

stygia!!! hot damn... extreme politics at the heart of the underworld

i have a soft spot for the calendar of setesh ever since i made The Wheel And Weight of Grinding Time Crushes All Beneath Its Passage, an abyssal obsessed with hijacking the calendar via pirate radio to install a new constellation

"Each district’s boundaries are reinforced on the first day of each year with a ceremonial  procession. The regent must touch each of the district’s ancient boundary-stones, and shifting  those stones as part of the rite allows one district to expand at another’s expense. Whoever  completes the procession is the regent; regents surround themselves with bodyguards to prevent  coups during that vulnerable time. " OH my fucking god. what a heist movie. holy shit

GFKDNGDSG GENTRIFIED BY THE SILVER PRINCE

theres a whole subsection for the sewers. this is worldbuilding.

culture... architecture... a dole of black bread and white cheese...

"Weeds signify  persistence and thriving in the Underworld; a dandelion represents passage into Lethe. Fish  symbolize ghosts, while a fishhook means either love or money, depending on who you ask. And  blood — or, indeed, anything crimson — holds many meanings depending on context, including  power, food, artistic fervor, endings, new beginnings, and Creation itself." why was this made specifically to caer to me

"A few places  specialize in stoking negative emotions, luring perverse customers with discordant choirs,  noisome odors, or the like. Several wineshops on Seawall offer bone-dry hardtack and skunked  beer; the Kudzu Bell’s boarding house specializes in stale bread, mildewed cheese, and  vegetables boiled into a sulfurous mass." oh my god

"Some ghosts hoard coins whose psychic residue resonates with their own feelings; money  changers sort obols by emotion for arbitrage." to me this is what exalted is about. this is what no other game has. lets take a wacky fantasy concept and do irl economics about it

:000 mausoleums! places where prayer distills down and bathes ghosts... sort of like a pseudo manse?

....huh! people heard of stygia as a heaven, expected to go there as a ritual afterlife, and now there are spots in stygia for them

collegia! the ultimate in dark academia. ghosts who keep ancient traditions and skills, and are doing quite a lot of politics about it

and the mansions, which are pimeval afterlives of sudden death. these and the collegia alone give stygia such incredible depth already

"In the Underworld’s first days, the Resplendent Mansion stood  foremost among its peers, comprised of a host of Exalted and other  heroic ghosts who’d died in battle against the world’s makers. But  new members slowed to a trickle, then stopped entirely before the  First Age’s end. Today, their ancient seat atop Shining Hill stands all  but empty, inhabited by a few reclusive timeworn ghosts and a host  of guardian spirits and automata." .... so now that primordials and neverborn are out in the world beefing again someone might suddenly take up that seat huh

oh wow i love the transcendent course as a cult. it feels so, ironically, alive. and the DUAL MONARCHS

"The Incarnadine Path was Stygia’s native religion before the Dual Monarchs. Its creed reveres  the River of Blood as the literal and metaphorical lifeblood of Creation and Underworld alike.  Ghosts of the Mansions find a sense of superiority in their ancient ties to the faith, while the  collegia uphold it in opposition to the Transcendent Course. Its stronghold is the rust-red steeple  of the Cruor, where Incarnadine blood-priests sacrifice animals brought at great difficulty from  the living world to anoint the faithful in gore. Since Stygia’s founding, the Cruor’s priests have  been a law unto themselves, offering sanctuary to fugitives; the Signatories show little respect  for these traditions, but citywide rioting the last time the Legion Sanguinary violated Cruor  sanctuary makes them cautious." MORE CULTS. MORE

and now the stygian pact, with thirteen signatories, wich do not correspond to al deathlords! which i thought was fun. skull pirate aikeret! fathom hermit puppet for the underwater eemi!!! ukhala enlightened-in-blood... i am free on thursday... white thyrsus the youth pastor for a cult to a ghost-eating forest, sesim ruseka the bird bitch. god frankly any of these guys would be fun deathlords as well

WOW namtar is fun

ok im gonna cut myself off before dari of the mists... charms one day i will reach you...

[random-iz-stuff]

I was wondering. Have you ever done a post regarding how competent Dib can be? Like, how far can he go to get what he wants and his abilities for example? If not, what's your stance on it?

Dib is competent, as long as he’s in the right situation.

And I firmly stand by my headcanon that if any irken besides Zim or Tak tried to invade the earth, Dib could stop them with relative ease.

Just look at The Nightmare Begins.

Zim’s subpar disguise isn’t unique to him. All Irken Invaders use these same low-quality-but-somehow-still-working disguises, with maybe one or two exceptions for very high priority missions. Tak is the only Irken in existence with a holographic disguise, and that’s because they were the one that invented it.

Point is, any Irken invading Earth would have worn a disguise like Zim’s, and what can Dib do?

He can see right through it.

Also, almost immediately after Dib starts rambling about Zim being an alien, he pulls out this:

A self destruct switch. Because if that had happened on any other planet, the entire mission would have been immediately declared a failure, with the Irken self destructing to prevent the rest of OID2 from being affected by one failure. The only reason that Zim doesn’t press the button there and then is because another one of Dib’s classmates calls Dib out for being crazy.

But then, immediately after that, THIS happens:

Dib almost manages to convince the entire class. And he would have succeeded if not for Zim thinking on his feet and making Dib seem crazier.

But the thing is, Zim’s creativity and ability to think on his feet is pretty much unique to him….

…because Zim is defective.

Irkens struggle with thinking outside of the box. That’s why Invading is considered such a hard and respectable job. Invading often requires fast, outside of the box thinking to avoid detection, and Irkens with their efficiency and perfection prioritizing mindset and thought restricting PAKs seriously struggle with doing that. Zim is extremely defective, so he has way more creativity and imagination than the average irken, along with a willingness to go against his traditional military training that non-defectives lack.

If any other Irken was placed in that scenario, they would have declared the mission to be a failure and self destructed on the spot because their just failed in their own eyes. A native lifeform knows their identity and is convincing others. The mission is a failure.

Even Skoodge, the Empire’s most effective Invader, would have seriously struggled there. Even though Skoodge is defective, he isn’t even close to the level of defection that Zim has, and would have struggled to figure out what to do in that situation.

So if any Irken besides Zim (and Tak, since she has a holographic disguise that can actually fool Dib) tried to invade Earth, Dib would have stopped the invasion before it could even really start.

There’s also the fact that Dib managed to hook Tak’s ship up to a computer and used it like an irken version of google.

He even made it translate Irken to English.

Even though Dib was only able to use it once (Zim waking up the Ship’s AI permanently broke whatever Dib was using to connect the ship to his computer and put the whole thing in lockdown, making Tak’s ship permanently unable to connect to the Irken database unless Tak herself comes back to reconnect it), HE STILL DID IT. He hacked an alien ship and was (albeit briefly) able to translate Irken to English.

Point is, Dib is smart. Very smart.

He also shows almost supernatural feats of strength, durability and stamina throughout the show, most likely a product of him being a genetically engineered clone of his father.

Going up against an Irken physically, Dib is screwed. He may have superhuman strength and durability, but he’s still a twelve year old going against a trained soldier, with the balance being swayed even further from Dib’s favour by the fact that Earth has about half the gravity of Irk, meaning that Irkens are twice as strong on Earth than they are on Irk. Zim goes easy on him because he views Dib as a worthy opponent, but against any other Irken, Dib goes down very quickly.

But mentally? Dib is a very hard opponent to beat. Because although an Irken could easily beat Dib in a fight, preventing him from exposing them is a whole different story.

Any other Irken would have brushed Dib aside like he isn’t a threat because he’s “a child belonging to an inferior race”, and that’s their first and last mistake.

Dib IS capable of sneaking around and he IS capable of gathering evidence, and if he ever does get evidence, you can’t tell me that the son of Earth’s greatest scientific mind finding evidence of extraterrestrial life WOULDN’T end up on the headlines of at least one newspaper. Any Irken that underestimates him will suffer this fate.

Dib is also extremely hard to kill in a way that can’t be traced back to the Irken because Dib is the son of a celebrity. Killing Dib isn’t too hard, but making it untraceable definitely is. And if it does get traced back to you, Professor Membrane, Gaz Membrane and the Local Police are going to very quickly show up at your door.

All of Zim’s attempts can’t be traced back to him, but Zim is also extremely creative and thinks in ways that most Irkens don’t, so most Irkens wouldn’t even think about killing Dib in the ways that Zim tries. The only reason that Zim fails in these attempts is either because he purposely lets Dib fight back (the whole worthy opponent thing comes to mind) or because of outside forces that Zim wasn’t aware about, like Gaz interfering in Bloaty’s Pizza Hog or Dib becoming a cyborg in Big Bad Rubber Piggy.

But then there’s also one more detail about Dib that makes him a threat if he’s underestimated.

Dib is an opportunistic little shit.

If Dib gets even the slightest chance to prove that aliens exist or to kill whatever Irken is invading Earth, he’ll take it. Dib will take any advantage he can get and is single minded in his goal of proving the paranormal.

Between Zim and Dib, DIB is the one that preforms the most cruel and sadistic acts in his quest to destroy Zim. Sure Zim has tried to kill Dib his fair share of times and doesn’t mind tormenting him, but Zim also gives Dib a fighting chance against him. He puts purposeful flaws in his plans, he goes easy on Dib and refuses to use his weapons during fights, and he will spare people when he knows they wouldn’t spare him.

In comparison, Dib gets his hands on Zim’s PAK and spends an entire episode playing keepaway with Zim, fully intending to kill him in a slow and painful manner by doing so. Most of Zim’s more sadistic moments are simply a result of him wanting to get petty revenge on someone or a result of Zim believing that he’s in genuine danger, while Dib was fully willing to torture Zim to death via removing his PAK, fully aware of what he was doing.

And that’s not all. In Halloween Spectacular Of Spooky Doom, Dib almost immediately betrays Zim once they start working together. He throws him to the monsters without a second thought.

Even in Enter The Florpus, Dib is fully willing to take advantage of Zim’s emotional state, cuffing him and attempting to expose him to the world as soon as he gets the chance. Dib doesn’t care about an equal fight. He just wants to win, and he doesn’t care about how he does it.

If you drop your guard around him, he’ll take advantage of that. If you underestimate him, he’ll take advantage of that. If he gets a chance to stab you in the back for his own benefit, he’ll take it. If he gets access to a weapon that he can use against you, like water or what he thinks is a gun, he’ll use it without hesitation. And all it takes is one slip up for him to at the very least get evidence for him to present.

But all this depends on what situation he’s in and who he’s going up against. Going against an Irken on Earth, Dib is a serious threat. But going up against an Irken anywhere BUT Earth, Dib can’t really do much. He’s a threat to the Invader’s MISSION, but is rarely a threat to the Invader’s physical well-being, just as long as you ignore the fact that Invaders that fail their missions self destruct to avoid capture. He CAN be a threat to the Irken’s well-being and CAN and WILL kill them if possible, but that requires that a bunch of things line up just right for him first.

Comic spoilers under the cut:

But while we’re on the subject of how dangerous Dib can be, there’s another Dib I think is worth mentioning.

Zib.

Zib is an alternate version of Dib that successfully killed his Zim. How he did it is unknown, but that doesn’t exactly matter now.

As the ruler of the Zimvoid, he’s made himself into something not only capable of challenging an Irken mentality, but physically as well, in sharp contrast to other Dibs, who like mentioned before, simply can’t hold their own against an Irken soldier for obvious reasons.

As for how Zib accomplished this, I headcanon that he used a lot of bionics and cybernetics. A good chunk of Zib is bionic, giving him the strength, stamina and durability required to win against an Irken. The fact that he has access to a PAK and all the weapons inside it also helps. Helping even more is his slightly Irken biology, as the PAK he attached to himself made some slight changes to his body. It’s not much, mostly being changes to his organs so the PAK can draw power from them easier, but the few changes to his actual muscles and healing ability definitely help.