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miss0atae · 6 months ago

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About Wandee Goodday episode 1:

There are already so many good reviews on Wandee Goodday, so here is my small participation. I read the book, so my take will be on the difference between the Book and the Series.

First of all, you must know, I don't think there is a superior medium to convey a story. It depends on the story itself and each medium has their strengths. Usually, books are considered a good medium to go deep on the description of the characters and the world where they interact. You get to know what the inner monologue of the characters and you can visualize the story through your imagination. TV series or films, are more visual. I believe they also depend a lot on the director and the actors because you can have a brilliant screenplay and terrible results. That being said, I really like to see how a story in a book can become a series screenplay. If you already read Thai BL books, you'll notice smut takes a large part in it. I don't mind smut. I believe we need to have a large range of book types for every taste. Wandee Goodday, the book, is filled with smut and if it's easy to write it on a book, it doesn't really transpose well on a series where smut isn't the primarily plot. It's why, I think, it's interesting to see what the series adds to the storytelling of the book.

Note, there are going to have some spoilers from the book in this post. So, if you want to avoid this because you want to read it later, you should not continue reading this.

The first episode is perfect to set the tone of the series and to present the characters. The series start with the end of the episode so you'll know what you get and then we get the flashback that will allow us to know how did Dee ended up in this situation.

"No more Mr. Good Guy!" -- Chap 1.

▪️ In the book, Wandee or Dee is a doctor who did his best to be the perfect boyfriend, a “good person” for his crush Ter because he heard him said once his ideal type is a “good person”. So Dee made conscious effort to be the ideal type of Ter: he doesn’t drink, doesn’t flirt, doesn’t smoke, works a lot and he was the one who tried to be at the same job as Ter. In this version of the story, Dee is really doing all the work and Ter isn’t really an active participant. You must know the book is told in the first person through Wandee’s eyes. However, Wandee isn’t totally an unreliable storyteller. He just has a lot of imagination.

In the series things are a bit different. I like it more because it gave more deep to why Dee could think Ter has a special relationship with him and they may get together. It implies Ter had a more active role as he was the one who helped Dee gets where he is. He found him a condo at the same place as him, for example. I think it works well because it reinforces the love Wandee has for him because Ter is doing so much, it could easily be mistaken for romantic attention. Here, Wandee seems less deluded and you can understand why he thought he would get the guy.

"By the way, what's your name?" "Yak" -- Chap. 2

▪️ Now, about Yak. In the book, Yak's personality is slightly different from his series counterpart. He is more or less a playboy who is used to having multiple one-night stand, but he is trying to stop because he is in love with Taemrak who doesn't like this. As Wandee, he has been waiting for a lot of years to be with this person who still refuses him. Also, he is younger than Dee. I felt Yak was more reserved in the book version.

In the series, Yok seems more like a confident man who knows his worth and he seems more talkative. We have no idea yet, if he has a playboy past. One thing I notice, is how it is implied Yok is bisexual. On the book, we never know if he is bisexual because the only two people we know he had feelings for were men. Since they changed Taemrak and made him a girl, we can only assume he is. However, in the book Wandee complains he never flirted with boy so I assumed he was the bisexual one in the relationship. In fact, he doesn't change anything to the story.

"Do me hard, Good Boy" -- Chap. 1

▪️ I believe their first time was better in the series. In the book, Dee is really drunk and since he is always having fantasies, he imagines himself as a heroine in a Thai period drama. In his fantasy, he is going to be ravished by the leader of gang. So when, he kisses Yak he is high in his fantasies. Of course, Dee doesn't tell him he is a virgin and Yak discover it, too late. He still tries to help him feel better and give him the lead. Then, they have a wild night with multiple intercourse. I think the writer wanted to show how Yak was very patient towards Dee, who was discovering his sexuality and preferences in bed.

"Are you going for more?" "Yeah, more now" -- Chap. 1

▪️ In the series, I liked how they took their time. Dee had a moment when he was unsure about if he really wanted it and Yak asked for his consent and when he didn't get it, he truly believed it’s a “no” from Dee. This series put lights on the importance of consent. The message is clear: if you want to do it with someone, this person must consent. When, Dee gets a cramp, they stopped and just got back to it when they both felt it’s the right time again. It’s a very healthy way that is absent in the book. Brownie points for the series!

"I turned you down. I was afraid that you'd be too distressed to sleep." Chap. 2

▪️ Ter in the book is a blank page. He is not bad, but he is not good either. He felt mostly flat. You have to ask yourself what Dee found in him. In the series, I feel like Ter isn't a nice person because he may have noticed than Dee was caring a lot and he wanted to use this in his own advantage. What makes me think this… it's when he asked Dee to give him the scholarship. I don't remember if they had to compete for a scholarship in the book, but I believe it's something that was added purposely in the series. We'll see which impact it's going to have in the series. I fear Ter may want to use Dee's crush to him to try to snatch the scholarship from him.

"We can't come back late. I need to be back early. I still have work to do." -- Chap 4.

▪️ Taemrak is also different from the book. In the book, it’s a man who is still studying in university. It’s nerd who spends his time in the library with books. He wears glasses and is scared of riding on Yak’s bike. Yak met him because he went to his faculty to do a physical fitness test. In the series, Taemrak is a woman who is tutoring students and seems to work a lot to get herself out of poverty. I wonder if it’s going to play a more important part in the story.

"They cannot seem to be separated for more than three days. Love is so good." -- Chap 2.

▪️ O-ye and Cher (called Cherry in the book) are more or less the same in both the book and the series. We didn't see them a lot, so things may be different. I like how they are still bickering, but very much in love. Cher is also considering Yak as his son in the book and they joke a lot on this nickname. I’m glad they kept this part.

"Dee, are you feeling worse?" Chap. 1

▪️ Plakao is my biggest surprised in the series! In the book, he has a minor role. He is just a friend of Dee who doesn’t work in the same job as him. In fact, he is more the provider of costumes for Dee and Yak, as they both have a clothing kink (not sure it is how you could describe it, in English). I’m so happy they changed his role in the series. I hope it will bring him more depth. He is asexual and I want to see what representation they will give us. I can’t remember if I ever watched a Thai BL, before, where one of the character said he was asexual, so I felt it was huge.

That’s it for this first episode. You must know the first episode is more or less the first chapter of the book. So we’ll see if the second episode is like the second chapter of the book. I believe the series, as for now (we’ll see if it continues to be this way), is bringing another layer to the book. It could bring a nice synergy.

#my reviews #thai series #thai bl #bl drama #bl series #gmmtv series #wandee goodday #book vs series #I like both versions #I appreciate the small changes #my longest review I believe #You have no idea how wild Dee and Yak are #It's great they give more depth to minor characters in the book #wandee wittaya #episode 1

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rvllybllply2014 · 3 months ago

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Hi! Oh please don't worry over how long this took, I'm sorry our replies have gotten so long that it could stretch out like this ;w; I've started a new job btw so I'm afraid I really won't have as much free time to write such long replies as much, so I'm cutting this one a bit short, I hope that's okay! :(

I have to agree we never know what someone is going through or how their feeling, so a proper warning is always for the best! Still very sweet & thoughtful of you :')

Heh now that I think about it, the Brackens might be the only house to consider "dumber than a horse" as an insult to horses! If anyone would know just how smart horses are, it would be them! They could call Blackwood horses dumb though, just because of the Blackwood influence the poor horses have had to suffer XD

Lord & lady Tully are such a cute pair~ I love how he matches her feisty nature perfectly, and insisting she become a strong swimmer too! x3 Aw and I love how realistic their argument feels? Of course they would both react this way! They both have good points & both apologizing later sets the stage for a good marriage between them uwu

Lil bitty Samwell learning from both his grandparents & playing with his cousins is just too precious~ And I love lady Tully calling lord Blackwood out on his poor parenting & the emotional distance he puts between himself & his sons! I kind of wonder how he's react if after a bit too much wine he'd end up leaning against lady Tully, who instead of pushing him away, would hold him & stroke his hair as if he were her own son? Like she does for her daughter & grandsons? With lord Blackwood unknowingly seeking a mother's touch. Only to remember the next morning how lady Tully had held & soothed him like a child?

She's such a good grandmother to Samwell & Willem, and I understand lord Blackwood's insistence on her praying to the old gods, & she's too stubborn to be honest to him about her reason to refuse. Though I do wonder if he would have understood her concerns? Oof that argument is so hard to read, I understand lord Blackwood's hurt, anger, & loss but lying to his sons and burning the letters, not even storing them away..that just horrible D= Poor lady Tully & Samwell, knowing his father hid letters from their grandmother had to hit him terribly, and to have Willen parrot their father's teachings too! At least their Tully cousins questioned them at least!

Amos practicing flattery in front of his mirror is too cute! Along with Raylon's light teasing x3 Aw and speaking of Ser Raylon Rivers, can you imagine a secret relationship between him & Samwell in the background?

Neither of them wishing to burden their brothers with it, and feeling as though they especially can't mention it after their brother's brake up? :< And Willem keeping his blade on him while trying to distance himself from it emotionally is such a good contrast to Amos locking his blade away but keeping the key to it literally next to his heart, never truly parting from it emotionally..

Davos being the one to stake Aeron through the neck, oh my poor babies :'( Imagine if Aeron had lived but still is injured, with Davos fleeing with him and both waiting out the war while Aeron recovers, until they hear of the Blackwood attack on Bracken lands?

Ooh I love how you wrote Willem finding the blade, how Amos never truly broke the chain connecting him to Willem.. And how the rape doesn't happen right away or all at once, how it gradually builds, and how Willem deludes himself into thinking Amos wants it. That despite his desire to punish him, he doesn't wish to see himself as Amos's rapist.. That threat to have Raylon taken before both houses, that he's already "broken in" is harsh..i totally understand Amos's fury!

Aw having Benjicot sent to Riverrun is a smart idea, though I also like the idea of him coming to Harrenhall to lead the Blackwoods, and while Oscar is tense at first, he soon sees just how much like Samwell Benjicot is? Saying he understands Oscar did what he has to and doing what he can to keep his own house in line? I could see Amos meeting him & seeing so much of Samwell in him ;w;

1A) Heh poor Aeron! I feel like the spanking he gets from Davos would be less sexual and more so an actual punishment, like for when he's genuinely unfair & rude to Davos, or does something stupid & knightly, risking his life for others, Davos wouldn't let that go without making riding too painful for his Bracken for a while, I mean what better punishment is there for his Bracken than that? I imagine he'd rarely need to use anything but his hand (which he prefers, he likes how much more intimate it feels) but occasionally, if he feels it's really needed to teach a lesson, he'll use the thin leather reins from he cut from Aeron's own horse. He can't bring himself to use a belt but that's fine, the reins are painful enough!

1B) Ooh I saw you wrote something for this idea, so I'll comment on it tomorrow~ I did think up another idea involving spanking though. Now this would be a purley parental spanking, but imagine before the battle of the burning mill ever takes place, Raylon Bracken would come to blows with a group of young Blackwood men and get overpowered, being brought back to Raventree Hall by them so he can be ransomed back to his lord father. He's not treated terribly, locked away in a room instead of a cell, but of course that doesn't make him any less angry! And when Willem comes to check on him himself, Raylon in his anger continues mouthing off to Willem despite his warning... And after stomping his foot and throwing something at Willem in anger, Raylon would soon find himself lying over Willem's knees, told if he was going to have a tantrum like a little child, he may as well be punished like one..

Ah sorry this reply was so much shorter than others, there's plenty I didn't comment on, but you summed up all we've discussed perfectly~ Thank you so much for discussing all these ideas with me <3 I'm all ears to hear any you have as well! =)

Congratulations on the new job. And also no worries about reply length or anything like that.

Lord and lady Tully are definitely based on my best friend’s parents.

Also think I hit all your ideas I’m sure, so sorry if I didn’t.

And now I’m definitely thinking about Samwell and Raylon Rivers. They have been added to the list.

Just non descriptive mentions of rape, look at previous ask for the more descriptive parts of the rape and trauma.

Definitely older brackenwood with some davron once again.

Lord Tully insisted that since he had to learn how to ride like a Bracken then his wife needs to learn to swim like a Tully. Yeah the fights are just them not seeing eye to eye and just needing some time to let cooler heads prevail. Once that happens they’ll apologize because they know they both had valid points. They’re also trying to raise their daughter to be level headed.

Lord Tully once asked lady Tully why she felt bad for the Blackwood horses, when they had a tourney in honor of their daughters first name day. She explained that Blackwood horses had to deal with the dumb Blackwoods, that those horses are smarter than their owners. So of course she’s going to feel bad for them. Lord Tully just shakes his head, he just goes along with it.

The one and only time both lady Tully and lord Blackwood allow themselves to seek some form of comfort in each other is in the months leading up to lady Blackwoods death. Lady Tully had just gotten Samwell settled in for the night again, and Willem was already in his bed sound asleep. Both lady Tully and lord Blackwood had too much wine, they’re both six glasses deep when lord Blackwood starts to tear up.

Normally lady Tully would just walk away, while muttering a Blackwood can just be miserable by himself, no need to drag everyone else’s mood down, it’s already sad enough in her daughter’s room. But since she’s already tipsy and already mourning her daughter she figures that lord Blackwood is also mourning his wife. So she does the only thing that she can think to do which is move to the couch, in her daughter’s room and pat the seat next to her.

Lord Blackwood at first thinks that lady Tully is making fun of him, acting like he’s a small child like Samwell or Willem. It’s only when she says that she’s here to offer comfort, as his mother in law and a fellow mourner die he finally sit next to her. She’s the one to lean into lord Blackwoods space while pulling his head towards her shoulder. It’s only after lord Blackwood has settled down on her shoulder, does she start to pet his hair while telling him that it’s okay to already mourn someone that is alive. That although he’s a Blackwood, she’s here for him and her grandsons. She just lets him know that it’s okay to let his emotions out.

He accepts the comfort until Samwell comes in from the nursery telling them that Willem is awake and crying. Lord Blackwood starts to get up until lady Tully tells him she’ll take care of Samwell and Willem, he needs to spend time with his wife. And with that she gives lord Blackwood a kiss on his temple, and grabs Samwell’s hand telling him that they’re going to go take care of Willem.

Willem just had a bad dream, which was an easy enough fix. But Samwell wouldn’t settle down again, he was too worried about his mother and father. He’d never seen his father show any emotion. So lady Tully decides to bring Samwell and Willem into their mother’s room. It’s just a short walk back to the rooms, and when they arrive lord Blackwood questions if everything’s alright?

Lady Tully tells him that his sons need their parents, she also orders lord Blackwood out of the chair that he sitting in so she can sit there. Lord Blackwood starts to protest but she tells him to get in the bed, but to leave space between him and wife so the boys can sleep between them. She’ll tell them bed time stories until they all fall asleep. Once they’re asleep she quietly leaves the room.

It isn’t until the next day that lord Blackwood realizes that he allowed himself to be treated like a child by lady Tully. He’s a little disappointed in himself but he also realizes deep down that he needed someone to take care of him, to validate his feelings while also still being an adult. Surprisingly it’s not lady Tully or Samwell who brings up the night before, it’s Willem that does. He thinks it’s just a strange dream, that he had a nightmare and then his father brought him and his brother to their mother for comfort. It’s Samwell who tells him it wasn’t a dream.

It’s when the boys are at their lessons, that lord Blackwood decides to confront lady Tully about last night. She tells him although he’s just a Blackwood and was never deserving enough for her daughter she can see how much he loves lady Blackwood; he also gave her, her adorable grandsons. Also it’s okay to feel fear and grief for the future, they’re both about to loose someone important but they’ll always be related through the kids.

The funeral happens, the fight also happens, lady Tully keeps her promise to write but lord Blackwood burns them and years pass without Samwell and Willem seeing their grandmother until lord Tully writes to tell them that she’s sick and dying. And how much she’d love to see them one last time. They’re too late, but they do stay for the funeral and do find out about how she really had kept her promise to write. Samwell believes his cousins and concludes that lord Blackwood must’ve burnt them. Willem already so close to his father in appearance and attitude decides that although these are his Tully cousins, they’re obviously lying a Bracken never keeps a promise.

After the funeral Samwell resumes his duties of watching the boundary stones, where he meets little Amos and his half brother Raylon. Raylon was sent to check up on Amos, to make sure that he wasn’t starting a fight with the Blackwoods. So he was absolutely shocked when he saw Amos and Samwell talking. Raylon doesn’t approach them just yet, he wants to see how the little interaction plays out.

It’s only when Amos sees Raylon, does he decide to approach them. Raylon tells Amos it’s time to go back to Stone Hedge, and sends him on his way. Raylon stays back long enough to thank Samwell for being so kind to his brother, he likes to act like a big boy but he’s still just a ten year old child. Samwell says it’s no issue Amos reminds him so much of his younger brother, who’s just come back from the court. Raylon doesn’t ask any questions especially when Amos comes back to ask if he’s ready? Raylon tells to go ahead he’ll catch up he needs to finish this conversation.

Once Amos had left again Raylon asks Samwell his name, and if he can send ravens to him. Samwell agrees he sees Raylon as a friend and also a connection to his grandmother that he just lost. It’s only a few weeks before Samwell and Raylon realize that they might actually like each other, more than just in a friend way. Samwell is actually the first one to broach the subject of how there might be more than friendship between them, if Raylon would allow it? Raylon is surprised but doesn’t disagree, so as their brothers fall into love with each other Raylon and Samwell also fall into love.

Raylon sends raven on Samwells eighteenth name telling him that they need to meet that night. Samwell is sorrow by he doesn’t need to be Raylon just wanted to give him his present in person. Raylon had stolen the idea of gifting his lover a blade from his brother. He’d had the blacksmith make him a dagger with a ravens head as the handle and had a horse etched into the actual blade. That way he’d always be near to protect him. Samwell is touched by the gift and vows to get Raylon something just as special for his name day.

So when it’s Raylons name day Samwell gifts him a blade with a horse head as the handle and a raven etched into the actual blade. But unlike their brothers they continue to send ravens even after they too eventually brake up. Also both men keep their blades on them. They tell themselves it’s to keep tabs on how each house is feeling towards the other, Raylon wants to be able to advise Amos to the best of his abilities. But they also send updates about their personal lives. They each write to the other that they hope their sons can be good friends just like they were. Raylon also congratulates Samwell when he’s married and has his heir Ben.

The letters only stop after Raylon was killed in a freak riding accident, he’d been thrown from his spooked horse and trampled. The very last letter Samwell writes to Raylon is how much he loves him and he’s sorry that everything happened the way it did. He also asks how could Raylon leave him so easily and early? They both still had so much life left, but now it’s just him but he’ll do his best to live for him. He burns the letter hoping that his words will reach Raylon.

Several more years pass and Samwell gets a mysterious illness that takes him before Ben is old enough to run Raven tree hall. Willem takes over as regent and plots his revenge against Amos. According to Willem it was Amos who walked away from him and their future along with his heart, just like Amos’s ancestors walked away from the old gods. He imagined the old gods felt the same type of pain and anger he feels.

So as soon as the dance happens and he hears from Davos that the Brackens have declared for Aegon, he uses it as an excuse to attack the Brackens. He’ll finally have his opportunity to show that he’s never forgiven or forgotten Amos’s betrayal.

Willem is disappointed with Davos when he finds out that he had the chance to kill a Bracken but doesn’t. He orders the Bracken that he spared to be sent to the dungeons and left to rot. Since Davos couldn’t kill him, he’ll keep him alive but barely. He orders that Davos is not allowed down there, he can’t be trusted around that Bracken. Instead Davos is ordered to watch Amos’s son Raylon.

He wants Davos to watch a Bracken get taken multiple times while also knowing that if he misbehaves then his Bracken will also suffer that fate. Davos and Raylon still get friendly, Davos also stops his uncles men from raping Raylon on his birthday. Davos manages to tell Raylon that Aeron is still alive. Raylon is equal parts relieved and horrified. He hopes that he’s not suffering the same fate as him, Davos tells him that he isn’t sure it’s been almost a month since they last saw each other.

Willem is also delusional enough to believe that every cry from Amos is a cry of pleasure. That his begging is a way of calling back to their relationship, and how he’d always cry and plead for Willem to not stop. It’s obvious that Amos wants it even if he doesn’t explicitly ask for it. He’s just trying to play hard to get, especially when it’s in the camp on the way to Harrenhal.

Davos is forced to guard Raylon while on the move to Harrenhal, he tries to get to Aeron but he’s too well guarded. The only time Davos is allowed to see Aeron is at Harrenhal when his uncle Willem is beheaded for what he did in the river lands.

Oscar still orders Raylon and Davos back to Stone Hedge, Davos is still a hostage. Aeron is ordered to stay at Harrenhal, he’s needed to help fight, Davos and Aeron can see each other after the war.

Oscar also sends a raven to Raven tree hall demanding that Ben comes to Harrenhal. He needs Ben not to fight but to show his support towards him. Once Ben arrives at Harrenhal, he tells Oscar that he understands that he did what he needed to do, especially to secure the loyalty of all the other houses. Ben shows nothing but respect towards Oscar, which in turn causes the Blackwoods to show only respect towards him.

The first meeting between Amos and Ben, Amos almost feels like a small child again. Ben reminds Amos so much of Samwell, how he listens and weighs his words/actions before he does anything. Amos knows that house Blackwood will be in capable hands once Ben is old enough to take responsibility. Amos might also hug Ben, offering comfort to him; he’s sorry for his loss of uncle and for his father years earlier.

1A): Davos is more of a punisher when it comes to spanking Aeron. Every time Aeron back talks, trying to prove to Davos that he’s capable of being a knight, it’s over his knee until his ass is red. Davos only uses the reins when Aeron falls off his horse. Aeron was trying to show off to his friends and managed to fall, and ended up scarring Davos half to death he didn’t move for almost a whole minute and he couldn’t cross over to Bracken lands to check on him. Davos tells him this spanking is for his own good, it should teach him not to show off.

2): Raylon knows that he’s being an irrational brat, especially in front of Willem but he’s pissed. It was a stupid mistake on his part, he’d followed his horse into Blackwood lands and ran right into Willem. As soon as Willem realized who had ran into him, he knew he’d get a huge ransom from Amos.

But first Willem needed to get Raylon to stop snorting and stomping his foot and the only way he knows how to is bend him over his knee and spank him. He makes Raylon count to ten, and then evaluates Raylons attitude. If Raylon is still throwing a temper tantrum, then it’s ten more smacks. It will continue until Raylon has learned his lesson.

#older brackenwood #house of the dragon #davron #brackenwood #brackwood #raylon rivers x samwell blackwood #aeron bracken #davos blackwood #samwell blackwood #raylon rivers #willem blackwood #amos bracken

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malewifesband · 6 months ago

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trying to go back and actually write this scene w kabru and rin. my stupid illness is worse again so im struggling but id like thoughts if anyone has them. on like any aspect

to establish: i feel like kabru takes rin for granted like by far the person he seems to treat worst is her. hes not a terrible person for this no way but like the way he teases her about liking him despite having no feelings for her ... idk i feel like he counts on rin always being there. like nothing could push her away so he feels he can be a bit cruel and hell be forgiven--not like she doesnt rag on him all time, right?

but i think things change when he falls in love. like it finally hits rin that man, its never going to be her. shes watched him date around for years, and never truly fall for someone, so there was always that hope that one day hed just realize how he really felt about her. and now she cant delude herself thats true, she can just fuckin tell how bad he has it for laios after spending two years living between the castle and her apothecary. she starts trying to breakaway from him, because every time she talks to him theres a reminder that he loves someone who isnt her.

feeling especially pathetic one night, she sees marcille, who is also feeling especially pathetic bc falin is still over a year away from her and enjoying their open relationship, but marcille doesnt. she cant bring herself to want anyone but falin. rins like ok bet. we are the same kind of pathetic and i dont like you but youve also been nothing but nice to me and im not reconciling these feelings. lets have sex

the scene im struggling with comes after

like rin is in the garden again, hoping that marcille will come. she didnt feel lonely when she was with marcille. she felt... special. more seen. she didnt think about how she misses kabru even when hes with her.

but ofc kabru is seeking her out bc he just really fucked up with laios.

she tells him, yeah man, super your fault for pressing the bruise after fuckin kissing him and then refusing to talk about it. everybody knows the dude does not want to get married and have heirs why did u like agree with his dads letter that he has a duty to sire children

she really doesnt want to talk to him about this. she wants him to need her like she needs him--she doesnt want to need him like she does. and she doesnt want to help him fall in love with someone else, but its like he doesnt even realize whats happening.

kabru insists the kiss was nothing, and he shouldnt talk about it with laios bc he was just drunk its just... he wants laios' full trust. and its weird, but sometimes he pictures laios as girl and something about that works. but its a weird wishful thinking bc kabru wants to get thru this barrier they have where (kabru feels) laios feels like he cant trust him bc kabru is good liar and laios cant read ppl. like maybe if they shared something that intimate, them both being trans, theyd understand each other completely

rin doesnt really know what to make of any of that. it feels like further rejection. like it just feels obvious to her that no matter what, he loves laios. and that thorny feeling of jealousy is spiraling around her heart. maybe she says something cruel, gives terrible advice bc she feels so hurt that he cant see how sincere her jealousy is, that he cant see how it hurts her to hear him in love with someone else?

im not super sure where to take the scene from there. i know i want it to end with kabru feeling worse about laios and deciding to avoid him, but without him realizing that rin is purposefully pulling away yet. (he'll realize that later, when laios is the one to tell him she and marcille and seeing each other and he didnt even know. and he'll have to address then that hes taken her friendship for granted)

any thoughts on the kinds of things she might say? or might tell him? i feel like theres an obvious solution im just missing

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ambrosialdesire · 1 year ago

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i’m the same anon who was asking all those questions about cacoethes (abt eren and ymir not noticing that reiner kidnapped y/n and abt the scouts LMAO i’m sorry i just really like asking stuff) anyway i was wondering what the warriors thought 😭 like what were they thinking when reiner was bringing some girl to marry and how did the marleyans react… love u

hi and welcome back anon <3 LOLOL it's okay if you wanna ask more about cacoethes, i like talking about it and trying to describe more in-depth about the characters.

so let's start with annie and bertolt cause of course we gotta start with reiner's homies and the ones that knew about her since the start.

annie was already sorta close with the reader in the first place, close enough to be teaching her a bit of the moves she learned with her dad back home. the reader was so persistent on being her friend and learning from her that annie just gave in so she'd leave her alone, but she does share some platonic fondness over her. when reiner mentioned about bringing her home with them, she really did think it was terrible idea and that he was a hard-headed moron to think that a paradisian soldier would trust a trio of enemy titan shifters in the first place. part of her was trying to protect the reader from an unwanted life but also because she was more focused on getting the founding titan and finally going home. when she finally gets de-crystiallized and meets up with the scouts, she notices that the reader isn't with them and wonders if reiner really did manage to bring her to marley or if she got killed (but she already knew that reiner would never let that happen).

bertolt has been mentioned to be wary of the reader and at first, hostile towards her. he didn't like the idea of krista/historia either because he didn't want reiner's intentions to get the founding titan to be muddled with trying to find a wife on this island. when he started to get to know the reader more, he felt really bad that they were deluding her from their real selves and their true purpose for being here. she's a nice girl, don't get him wrong but reiner can find another nice marleyan girl similar to her. but he was so goddamn persistent that his wife had to be her and only her that he went along with it, especially after reiner offed marco and had an unexplainable mental break. he basically just felt really guilty overall and though he was sorta mean towards her, he still cared about the reader since they were slowly become friends. even when facing his death, the brief thought of her being forced into marley made him sick to his stomach and he had to die with the guilt that he didn't do more to stop his best friend.

now moving onto the warriors in marley! i'm gonna be doing the adults cause i've established briefly (i think in the second chapter) that gabi doesn't like the reader at all and i don't really wanna write about the childrens' (gabi and falco) or colt's viewpoint lol

starting with zeke, he didn't and doesn't really care all that much about the reader. all he knew was that she's a devil that reiner became too fond of during the years of being on the island and refused to leave behind, making him pull strings out of his ass to convince the higher ups to let her stay in the country. during the transport and the "immigration" processes, he considered her a complete pain in the ass for making him do all of this needless work. he also doesn't like the fact that reiner wants to have children, consistently bringing it up after meetings or whenever they don't have anything to talk about. he does admire the determination the reader has on abstaining from sex, amused by the fact that she's rejected reiner's advances for nearly three years. zeke thinks she's a little cute whenever she try to hide from his gaze but he doesn't think about you 24/7 like reiner does. she's just a weak devil-blooded soldier that reiner chose to marry and that's it, nothing more and nothing less.

with pieck, she's kind towards the reader and briefly shown to have a peaceful acquaintance with her. she doesn't really care much that she comes from paradis, but she was shocked back then when reiner told her to bring her unconscious body to the boat, wondering why he had decided to bring her along (at first she thought that she was the founding titan holder). she knows that the reader will always be uncomfortable with the fact that she was forced to come to marley so she tries her best to ease her mind whenever they hang out, occasionally with the company of porco (before the reader and him fought and became friends). she does enjoy her cooking and likes the fact that she lets her hide in the guest bedroom to nap whenever the others are trying to make her do her share of the paperwork.

porco absolutely hated the reader, at first. he was never okay like the others with the fact that she came from paradis island, bringing up the fact that she's a "full-blooded" devil. even when she became married to reiner, he thought the man was under a spell that caused him to be so disillusioned from the fact that she's a paradisian, the enemy they've sworn war on. so in the beginning, he ignored her or insulted her bloodline, never wanting to be in the same room as her ever. it seemed to work for a while, she avoided him like the plague as well until that fateful night. sparring with her changed everything about her to him. i will confirm that porco did develop a crush on the reader as the days went by the more he hung out her alone (he can now sorta understand why reiner chose her out of everyone in the island) but he's always going to be conflicted about it and never do anything about his new and indifferent feelings towards her. cause yk... she's married LMFAO even if the reader had told him that she's dissatisfied with being married to reiner, he's not the one who's going to cause or push for an affair between them. porco develops a fondness for her but he constantly has to remind himself that his duty comes first, not this woman that comes from the island that he's been taught to hate.

in all, they're basically indifferent towards her. like they know she's nice but all the kindness she gave out was a weakness that reiner used to his advantage. hope this was a satisfactory answer to your question HAHA

#love-message #yandere reiner #cacoëthes ask #🎀 anon

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stabbyindie · 1 month ago

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Entry #0 Antipathy October 3rd 2023

my desire to not exist emerges from the carnivorous and omnipresent void in my brain, ever growing and ultimately there. My heart yearns for a day where my mind rests, systematic in the way a young girl’s should be, not unhinged and unstable the way the constant reprimand of aging and existing brings. I see no difference in me and my peers for I ultimately don't know the way they work, the way they collect their thoughts or the accent of their inside voices. I am uncertain if they wake up unsated at ungodly hours, twisting and turning in malicious thoughts and wonder if their purpose in life is simply just to be. I wonder if they too believe that they are either destined to greatness or an early invitation to the grave, buried next to their negligent ancestors or cremated in the lands of religion and sacrilege. There is no in between, you either fail horrifically or win constantly.

I feel weighted when I think this way but cannot change the mindset i had implemented into myself years ago, my age but a number compared to the volatility of my thoughts. While most scientists describe memories as scriptures or films, I comprehend them as kaleidoscopic fragments, constantly vibrant and ever changing. My desires work the same way. They flicker every day, never once sated, but the desire to exist remains constantly null.

And isn’t that a funny thing?

Usually, the feelings of absolute sadness emerge from experiences and environments. How could I ever justify them when my environment is stable beyond belief and my experiences are nowhere nearly as dark as my thoughts.

The few terrible ones I do have seem so insignificant in the grand scheme of things and so impossibly easy to cast aside that it should not make sense to dwell on it to even chastise these feelings.

Sometimes I don’t feel real. My consciousness remains disturbed and insatiable but my physicality refuses to acknowledge or keep up with it. The mass of muscle and viscera controlling my very being is sickening and disturbing, my soul ages and comprehends too much. I feel distant from the homosapien planes of existence, existentialism leaving my body.

I sometimes feel as though I delude myself into thinking I am unique, a being of ludicrously built organ cavity and biology, not humane like everyone else I know. Then I fear the way I think, the normal do not convince themselves they are alike to their species. The normal do not believe themselves to be extraterrestrials despite being anatomically synced with the diaphanous hysterics of their own kind.

I seek negativity daily, in the forms of words displayed on a led screen or horrifying images and songs. I tell everyone around me that my personality is that of a sadist and I simply find the chaos of terror and depression comprehensible so as to convince both them and myself that, indeed, that is my reason and I am but a simple sad and lonely soul.

But normal people don’t find excuses and reasons to promote their crippling sanity into further demise, normal people don’t write monologues about their feelings of derealisation and depersonalisation at three in the morning with a building headache and no pants on.

If I truly am deluded into believing I cannot and do not need to exist for I am not a being of existence, and am actually and ultimately part of the teenage girl normal, then I long to find my people for in the sixteen years of my life I haven’t even once.

It’s hard to feel normal when you haven’t met your type of normal yet.

#existentialism #existential crisis #existential thoughts #depersonalisation and derealisation #derealism #dreamcore #writing #digital diary #diary entry #teenage angst #creative writing #nihilism #trigger warning?

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youbloodymadgenius · 3 years ago

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Too Late (Ivar x reader)

A/N: This is my entry to @fuchsiagrasshopper's 200 Followers Writing Challenge. Congratulations again, love 💝

This is a variation on Ivar's death. Consider yourself warned. And... sorry 😔

The prompt, from the song Too Late, by Ashes Divides, is in bold and italics.

@zuxiezendler - Thank you for reassuring me (I needed it) and for beta reading this for me 🌺

Let me know if you want to be tagged 😊

Divider by @firefly-graphics

Summary: Ivar is about to go to war against Alfred. His eyes are very blue, though.

Warnings: major character death; mention of blood and fatal wound (nothing graphic).

Words: 1815

When a hand lingers on his forehead, Ivar slowly opens his eyes before shifting in the makeshift bed and eventually sitting upright, allowing you to take a seat next to him. Looking at him with concern, you tilt your head to the side, one of your hands resting lightly on his chest while the other grazes his thigh.

Studying him, you bite your lower lip. "Your eyes have turned deep blue, Ivar. You know what that means, remember?" Ivar snorts and then rolls his eyes, visibly annoyed. You don't stop, though. "Hvitserk told me. Your brothers used to watch over you. They knew that when your eyes turned blue that you were in great danger of breaking your bones. And they would say 'Not today, Ivar. Not today.'"

Knitting his brow, your lover wearily rubs a filthy hand over his face, his eyes never leaving yours. "I remember." He finally nods, a half-smile curling his lips. "I know."

"You could let Hvitserk take command, Ivar. You'd stay behind, for once. I could even stay with you." You know you're walking on eggshells, but when Ivar answers, there's surprisingly no anger in his voice. Though the calm determination in his gaze tells you that arguing is pointless.

"No, Y/N." He shakes his head and grabs your hand, playing absently with your fingers. "No," he repeats, "Hvitserk must lead the back-up troops, it has to be someone I trust. As for you, I need you on the battlefield. You're our best shieldmaiden, and you know that. And...", he tilts his head, lightly shrugging, "I don't think we can defeat Alfred if I'm not there too... You know..." He taps his forehead with his pointer finger and you know exactly what he means. He's right. His men are fearsome warriors, but they sometimes – most of the time – need guidance when fighting, and who else could do that better than Ivar, with his cunning and extraordinary strategic mind?

No. He won't change his mind.

For the briefest moment, you think you should tell him. But no. It wouldn't change anything. You're not deluding yourself, he'd still go. And he'd demand that you stay behind. And that's not happening. It's an option you refuse to even consider. If he goes, you go. That's who you are. Both of you. A king – a warrior – and a shieldmaiden.

You'll tell him afterwards. Once it's all over. Once Alfred is defeated.

"Okay, then." Leaning in, you give him a peck on the lips before standing up. "Promise you'll be careful."

Flashing you a reassuring yet tired smile, he nods. "I always am."

The battle rages for hours now and you know you should feel it in your bones. The pain. The exhaustion. But you don't. Unharmed and powerful, a shield in your left hand, it's like you're flying, dodging blow after blow, slicing throat after throat, driving your trustworthy sword into chests or guts, as you slash your way through the enemies. Exhilarated, you shout war cries and you know that if they are cathartic to you, they scare the Saxon soldiers. The thought makes you laugh – and indeed a crazy laugh escapes your throat as you run forward, swinging your blade from side to side, momentarily crouching down as an axe flies over your head.

Attacking a Saxon with your shield, you beat him savagely with repeated blows to his skull before skewering him with your sword. As he falls to the ground, already dead, you look up to the sky for a second, and silently thank the gods, a beaming smile adorning your face. You love that. You're never more alive than on the battlefield. As you lower your gaze, eager to slaughter more and more Christians, your eyes catch something on the left.

And it's like the world stops spinning.

Like your heart stops beating.

And you stop breathing.

Petrified, you can't comprehend what you're seeing. It doesn't make sense. It can't make sense. Why is this Saxon stabbing Ivar? How can it be? Why isn't your lover fighting back? Why is he bleeding? Your shield and sword slipping out of your hands, the ringing in your ears is suddenly deafening, and for a fleeting second, you think you might throw up. But you won't. Because that can't be real. You're hallucinating, for sure. It can't be happening. It doesn't make sense. It can't. It simply can't.

A sudden cry of pain and the distinctive and all too familiar sound of a broken bone snap you out of your stupor and you rush over to your lover – 'Not today, Ivar, not today, no' – dropping to the ground next to him, your hand grazing his cheek. As you see the state he's in – his left leg unnaturally bent at the knee with exposed bone; his stomach covered with blood – a shiver runs down your spine and you gasp, filled with horror. You want to cry, and scream, and shout but instead you inhale deeply, blinking several times before locking eyes with his bloodied ones. Your man needs you.

"I'm here, Ivar, I'm here." As you carefully place his head on your lap, his hand grabs your arm, squeezing it. His eyelids flutter as he tries to focus his gaze on you. Weakly raising his free hand, he fails to touch your face and something between a sob and a whine escapes his lips. Gently intertwining his fingers with yours, you can't help but repeat yourself. "I'm here, my love, I'm here."

A faint shake of his head and then he speaks, his voice hoarse and barely a whisper. "You... You should leave... Leave, Y/N.." He swallows painfully, and a sob chokes in your throat as you see blood running out of his mouth. You shake your head, not trusting your voice, but Ivar, your stubborn lover, keeps speaking, mustering all his strength. "Leave, my love, you're... not safe... here..." He then lets out a shuddering breath, loosening his grip on your arm.

Raising your head and looking around, you see that your fellow warriors are gone. Someone, Haakon probably – you always saw Ivar's second in command as a coward – must have sounded the retreat, now that their king is down. You don't have time to dwell on it though as you realize that the two of you are now surrounded by Saxon soldiers, their swords pointed at you. You coldly glare at them for a few brief seconds before meeting King Alfred's gaze. The Saxon commander seems shocked as he looks with wide open eyes at the man lying in front of you.

"Lower your weapons!" You barely hear Alfred's order, your mind taken with other thoughts, and you don't bother to see if his soldiers obey. The truth is, Alfred and his men are the least of your concerns right now. No matter what happens, no matter what they do, you're not going anywhere.

Once more, giving your undivided attention to your lover, you shake your head, speaking with conviction and determination. "I'm not leaving your side, my love."

Ivar frowns and winces. "I want you to... be safe..." He mutters with great effort, clearly in terrible pain. "It makes... no difference if... if you stay. I'm..." He squeezes his eyes shut, and you're suddenly aware of how pale he is, his hand on your arm now ice cold. He eventually speaks again, his breathing ragged and shallow. "I'm going to... die anyway. Y/N," his voice is choked, and your eyes are full of tears, "I'm...dying."

He's right. He's dying. There's no denying it. As heartbreaking as this thought may be, it is no less true. You've been in enough battles, seen enough fatal injuries to not delude yourself. With a wound that bad, there's no chance of survival. Absolutely none. You know it won't take long.

But it doesn't change a single thing. How could you leave him here, in this foreign land, surrounded by strangers – by enemies? How could you? You don't want to be safe, you want to be with him, as long as you can.

You may not be able to save him, but you can be there. You want to be there.

I will not lose you to a world that doesn't care

To the monsters that would have you.

Your hand cups his face as you swallow thickly, blinking back tears. "And I want to be here. I won't leave you alone." The pain in your heart is such that you can hardly speak. Taking the deepest breath you can, you then bite your inner cheek so hard that you can taste the blood in your mouth. "You're not alone, my love. You don't have to face this alone."

Ivar's eyes are closed, and for a moment, you're not sure he heard you. If you're being honest, you're not sure he's still there with you, even if he's still breathing.

But then, his eyelids flutter open, revealing glassy eyes. There's no more light in them; no more fight. "Not today..." He mumbles, despair clear in his voice. And suddenly his face crumples and his eyes are full of tears and you can almost physically feel the panic coursing through his battered body. When he speaks, sobbing very hard, it's to say what you never thought you'd hear him say, his voice as shaky as your hand on his face.

"I'm afraid."

It rips your heart out.

"I'm afraid."

It tears you to pieces.

"I'm afraid."

It destroys you.

You hiccup, a hand moving to cover your mouth. You want to take his pain away, you want to die and let him live. Your head is spinning, you're dying from the inside, you're not sure you can do it, but you have to. You know you have to.

So, gathering the courage you thought you didn't have, you nod. With tears rolling down your face, you swallow hard and say, "I won't tell anyone." Shaking with long, racking sobs, you try to smile. "No one will ever forget Ivar the Boneless. And I will never forget you, my love."

The fear in his haunted eyes almost unbearable, you can just soothe him, a reassuring hand on his cheek. Your tears join his, splashing on his face as you whisper again and again. "You're not alone, my love... I'm right here, next to you... You're not alone..." Sliding your arm under his head, you clumsily lie down next to him, curling your limbs around his body, cradling him.

Never surrender you, I always be there

I will be there to wrap myself around you.

And then, with a last gasp, your lover stops breathing.

And your whole world just shatters around you over and over and over...

Time loses all meaning.

You can't move.

Can't think.

Can't cry.

Can't feel.

He's gone.

And you realize you never had a chance to tell him...

He's gone.

Tagging: @waiting4inspiration @honestsycrets @lisinfleur @saldelys @gearhead66 @inforapound @readsalot73 @milkkygirls @xbellaxcarolinax @shannygoatgruff @zuxiezendler @a-mess-of-fandoms @hecohansen31 @lonewolf471 @ivarthebloodyking @fuckindiva @tgrrose @didiintheblog @peachyboneless @pieces-by-me @funmadnessandbadassvikings @ethereallysimple @destynelseclipsa @cocovikings23 @xceafh @mrsalwayswrite @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie @pomegranates-and-blood @jadelynlace @grimeundglow @quantumlocked310 @fuchsiagrasshopper

#fuchsiagrasshopper200 #ivar #ivar x reader #ivar the boneless #ivar ragnarsson #ivar the boneless x reader #ivar ragnarsson x reader #ivar fanfic #ivar fanfiction #ivar fic #ivar imagine #ivar vikings #vikings ivar #vikings imagine

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nastybuckybarnes · 4 years ago

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Jolly Sailor Bold

Pairing: Pirate!Peter Parker X Mermaid!Reader

Summary: Pirates once ruled the seas, and they’re wanting that power back. All that stands in the way are Mermaids and Sirens. For all of history the two have been slaughtering each other with no remorse. So what is it about you that’s so intriguing to Peter? And why do you, in turn, find yourself wanting to protect the sailor?

Warnings: Language, Old Language, Slow burn, Angst, Pirates, Violence,

Word Count: 6.5K

A/n: So plot twist I’ve already worked 40 hours this week so I’m a little behind with my writing but you guys can have this while I finish up some other things. Happy Ficmas!!!

Peter Parker IS AGED UP IN THIS

~*~

Inspired by ‘Prates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides’ and FreeForm’s ‘Siren’

“Upon one summer's morning I carefully did stray Down by the Walls of Wapping Where I met a sailor gay”

‘Beneath the surface of the water, past the line of the reef, lies a danger beyond any man’s comprehension. A danger concealed by soft skin, enticing eyes, and a melody that lulls sailors and pulls them from their ships to the depths of the ocean. The creatures, beautiful in appearance, roam the depths of the seas, living in deeper oceanic waters during the times of tired men, when the victim count is lower.

Female as they appear, deadly as they are, enchanting as they sound, they are often confused with their close relatives. But Mermaids be far worse than the Siren’s they’re confused with.

Upon a glance they seem similar, side by side the naked eye may not be able to tell them apart. But the one thing that separates these creatures is the undeniable bloodlust that Sirens feel, contorting their once beautiful faces to a hideous mask that never leaves. The hunger whenever they smell human blood. While mermaids are more equipped to handle the hunger, better at concealing it, the sirens show no shame in claiming men, in giving in to their animalistic desires and draining the life of a helpless sailor.

Mermaids appear a more peaceful creature, although deadly. Hardly capable of refusing the smell of fresh blood, they only seem serene on the outside. Below the surface lies teeth sharper than sharks, a voice that can command and compel the strongest minds, and a strong body that is capable of destroying a thousand ships.

Sailors beware, Pirates be warned, for the mermaids are ruthless. Heaven forbid ye ever fall into their path for they will grant no mercy. Pray a Siren finds you and ends you quickly, for her looks will be none too pleasing, but a mermaid will distract and drain, her eyes alight with desire, as she deludes yer weak-willed mind. So swords high, guns aimed, and never look at a dame in the water, for that will be yer undoing!’

“I see you’re trying to scare my new crew member, Buck!” A blond-haired man slaps the brunet’s shoulder, smiling warmly at the young man he was talking to. “Who might you be sailor?”

The boy looks down timidly. “P-Peter. Peter Parker,” he says quietly. “Well Parker, I’m Captain Rogers, this is my first mate Bucky. We’re happy to have you aboard!” Peter nods enthusiastically and gets up from the stairs leading to the forecastle.

“Well kid, go make yourself useful. And remember what I said. If you see a woman in the water, do not look at her. You find someone who’s good with a gun and shove Seaweed into your ears. Don’t let her sing. If she sings you’re done for.” The boy swallows hard and nods again, watching as Bucky walks away and takes the helm.

He leans over the thick wooden side beams and looks out across the water, his eyes scanning for anything unusual. A sudden pat on his back startles him and he whips around, clutching his chest. “Woah, calm down Parker. It’s just me,” Ned says softly, looking around then leaning against the side beams as Peter was.

“So, how’s it feel to be a real sailor? I mean we’re basically pirates now.” Peter snorts and looks out across the water again. “I feel like Pirate is a term used by those who fear people who go and get what they want. We may be Pirates, but it’s not like we’re bad people,” Peter says softly. Ned nods, looking around with a smile on his face. “You know Captain Rogers’ first mate Bucky? He was telling me about the dangers of the sea. Mermaids and Sirens. Do you... do you believe in any of that stuff?” He asks.

Ned looks over at his friend and shrugs. “I mean, we hardly know anything about what’s under the water. There’s probably something.” Peter bites his bottom lip and shakes his head no.

“I’ve heard stories you know,” he begins, “of people who survived attacks, saying they remember beautiful voices and enchanting looks. I think it could be true. I just hope we don’t come across anything like that.”

Ned shrugs then walks away, finding something to keep himself busy as they sail to deeper waters.

“Okay lads! We’ve made it out to sea! First night always ends in celebration so celebrate we will! Take what you can!” Captain Rogers calls loudly. “Give nothing back!” Bucky calls just as loud. “All of you now. Take what you can!” Rogers repeats. “Give nothing back!” The crew shouts, throwing their hats into the air and clinking their bottles of booze together as they celebrate. Peter chuckles as Ned downs a whole bottle of rum, not envying the headache he’ll surely have the next day.

He looks out across the dark water, tired after a long day at sea. He sighs and shakes his head as he thinks back to the tale Bucky told him earlier, chuckling lightly at how ridiculous it seems now. He turns away from the water, freezing in his tracks halfway through the turn. He slowly turns back and catches sight of something bobbing in the water a short distance from the ship. His eyes widen and he leans forwards, inspecting the object as it moves closer slowly.

The object stops and Peter nearly screams as it turns and dives into the water, an iridescent tail flashing above the surface for a moment. Peter glances at the bottle of alcohol in his hand and shakes his head, hurrying away from the side of the ship and down to the crew’s quarters to try and sleep off whatever alcohol is making him hallucinate.

The water brushes up against the ship, rocking it from side to side gently. You watch curiously as the humans cheer and drink from aboard. A young man breaks off from the group and leans over the railing, looking out across the water. You raise your head up a bit and watch him closely, your eyes widening as you make out his face.

He has curly brown hair, and light skin; his cheeks are flushed from the alcohol and his eyes are... you can’t exactly make out what colour they are. Letting your instincts pull you, you slowly move forwards, watching the man as he starts to turn away.

He suddenly stops and turns back to look directly at you. You move closer still and watch as he nearly subconsciously leans forwards. A high-pitched call gets your attention and you stop then dive under the water, desperate to find your sister, the person calling you, and tell her of your findings.

She calls out for you again and you reply, your voice deeper than hers, resonating throughout the sea and echoing off of rocks and reefs. Cutting through the water effortlessly, you spin towards the cavern the two of you share. You pull yourself up and break the surface of the little air bubble-esque cave. “Where were you?” She asks as soon as you’re inside, her voice a high keening call.

“I was exploring. I found something... someone.” She raises her eyebrows and wrings out her long raven hair. “Who? There are no mermen for miles around here. They recognize this as our area. It isn’t a siren, is it?”

You roll your eyes and shake your head no. “I didn’t meet anyone. I found people, Ariadné. Humans! They’re on a ship. I think they’re pirates.” She frowns and shakes her head. “You do know that pirates killed mom and dad, right? They should all be killed for what they did.” You sigh and lower yourself into the water again, leaning your head onto your arms.

“Not all pirates deserve to suffer for what a few did. Blackbeard and his crew were punished for their doings. We got our revenge. What more could you want?” She sighs and mimics your position. “I want them all gone. It’s enough that we don’t eat them, but they all deserve to suffer as we did. As our pod did.”

“Ariadné, what would mother say, hearing you talk with such hatred? She raised us better than this. She raised us different than the others. We have more compassion in our hearts than they do. We mustn’t lose sight of that. I understand the hurt, but we were raised to protect the humans. When our brand is on a ship, other pods of Mermaids and Sirens know not to hurt them.” Your older sister scoffs and shakes her head.

“Our parents died because the Pirates were afraid!” You flinch away from her and she sighs. “I did not mean to frighten you. I’m just scared for you. If I lost you as well... I don’t know what I would do.” You smile gently at her and nod, leaning your head onto your arms again. “I don’t believe he saw me. I’m careful, Ariadné, I promise.” She sighs and nods once, wanting the little argument to be over with.

As your sister drifts off to sleep, your mind travels to the sailor who may have seen you earlier in the night. A pulling in your gut shoves an idea into your mind. A terribly dangerous idea that spikes your curiosity.

You glance over at your sister and, after making sure she’s sound asleep, you venture out of the cavern and swim quickly to the warmer waters closer to the surface.

Slowing as you see the large shadow of a ship, you carefully raise your head above the surface, looking around then up to the deck, trying to find the man from before. You look around carefully, smiling as you see him leaning against the railing again. He looks out across the water, his wrists crossed over each other. You tilt your head to the side curiously and swim slightly forwards.

"What're you doing up at this hour?" A voice calls from behind him. He turns and you watch as a man comes up beside him. “I... felt like I needed to come here. The water... does it ever call you?” The other man takes a deep breath then nods.

“Quite often. It’s why I do what I do. I love the water, I can’t be away from it. It’s my home now. And it can be yours too, if you’d like.” The brown-haired boy who you’ve been watching smiles.

“I’d like that, thank you, Captain.” You watch as the taller blond man pats the other man’s shoulder. “You’re a good kid, Peter. Don’t let Bucky’s tails of the sea scare you. You’re safe.” The Captain walks away, leaving Peter alone.

You risk moving closer, wanting the see more of his beautiful face. He sighs and looks at his hand before tossing something into the water not far from your head. You reach out and grab the object, frowning in confusion. It’s a very smooth rock, bright red.

You look up at him and carefully toss the rock back at him, smiling as it lands right past him, clanking on the deck.

He spins quickly and stares at the rock in disbelief before grabbing it and inspecting it. He looks out to the water, his eyes finding you again.

“You again?” He asks in a whisper. You slowly swim forwards and raise your shoulders out of the water. “Am I hallucinating? Are you... real?”

You stifle a giggle as he battles with himself. He glances down at the rock in his hand then back up to you, an idea popping into his head. He tosses the rock at you and you catch it before it hits your head.

“You are Peter,” you state, tossing to rock back to him. He freezes at the sound of your voice, the rock hitting him in the chest then falling onto the railing.

“You-you can talk. Your voice is... wow.” You smile brilliantly up at him and he slowly steps back. “I need... where’s Bucky. Oh, Gods, I need to find Bucky.” He shoves his fingers in his ears and runs away from the side, the rock tumbling into the water. You frown and grab it then swim back to the cavern where your older sister is sleeping.

“Dude, slow down! What happened?” Ned asks from the empty crew’s quarters. Peter looks around then grans Ned’s hand. “I saw a flipping... woman. In the water. She talked to me. I threw a rock at her and she caught it and threw it back. She... I... I swear- Ned, don’t look at me like that! I’m not crazy!” Ned holds his hands up in surrender. “I never said you were. I just... I think maybe the saltwater is getting to your brain a little bit.” Peter scoffs and turns away from his friend.

“I know what I saw. What I heard. She’s out there.” Ned nods slowly, “okay, then why didn't she eat you? Why didn’t she sing? You said she spoke to you but didn't sing. That doesn’t sound like mermaid behaviour.” Peter furrows his brows. “Maybe she... maybe she isn’t like the others. Maybe she’s different. Doesn’t hurt men.” Ned scoffs incredulously, shaking his head no.

“I can’t believe I’m friends with a lunatic. You know, people like you are where all those bad rumours about Pirates and Sailors come from.” Peter sighs and gets up, walking away from his friend and back up to the main deck to look in the water again, desperate to find any proof that he actually saw a woman... a mermaid. That he heard one.

‘You are Peter.’ It replays in his mind over and over, the melodic yet somewhat deep voice that has been haunting him ever since it happened.

Peter takes a deep breath and walks towards the helm, finding Bucky right where he thought he’d be.

“You alright Sailor? You look like you’ve seen a sea witch,” Bucky says while patting Peter on that back. Peter looks up at the man with a weak smile. “Mister Bucky, Sir... do you actually believe in Mermaids and Sirens? Or was that just you trying to scare me?” Bucky sighs and looks around for a moment before rolling up his sleeve.

“It’s how I lost my arm. Why I’ve been so apprehensive on these waters. Not far from here... a storm was brewing. We briefly lost control and a few of us fell overboard. I was one of them.” Peter waits patiently for Bucky to continue.

“They were waiting, rocking the ship with their tails. They were mermaids. Their beauty... was unparalleled. The most beautiful creatures I’ve ever seen in my life. One of them grabbed me, dragged me under the water while singing one of her bloody songs. I broke free, hardly, but as soon as I was above the water she grabbed my arm and pulled me back under, her sharp teeth locked onto my shoulder and she ripped my arm clean from my body.”

Peter stares at the metal arm in shock and slight awe. “Steve, the Captain he is, shot nearly all of them. He helped me up and we made berth in Tortuga. I got this arm and when we got back on the sea... Steve and I made a vow to kill any single one of these creatures. We lost a lot of men that day. We refuse to let anyone else get killed because of those horrible beasts.”

Peter nods slowly then looks out to the water. “And it ain’t like Mermaids and Sirens just stick to specific waters. They live all over. Migrate with the tides or stay where they are. They live all over the world. Nowhere will be safe until they’re all gone.”

“Genocide,” Peter whispers to himself, fearing for the life of the mermaid he only met yesterday.

“Are all of them... bad like that?” Bucky shrugs, pulling his sleeve back down. “I don’t wait long enough to find out. As soon as I see a woman who ain’t drowning in these waters so far from shore, I shoot first.”

The colour drains from Peter’s face and he shakes his head trying to get rid of the strange feeling of dread that’s suddenly filling him.

“Why?” Peter looks up quickly, a forced smile on his face. “No... no reason. I was just wondering after the whole story the other day. I just want to know what to do in case I come across something so... heinous.” Bucky nods and grabs a pistol out of one of the many holsters on his body.

“Here. Keep this with you. You ever see a woman out there, don’t let her open her mouth. Shoot her and shoot her fast.” Peter slowly nods, accepting the gun and looking at it carefully. “Now go on. I’m sure there’s something else you can do. We make Berth in Nassau in a few days to gather supplies.” Peter walks to the helm stairs but pauses at the top of them. “What kind of supplies?” Bucky grins, “we’re off to find something special."

You watch the ship from afar, holding the red rock tightly in your right hand as you think of Peter. A hiss from behind you gets your attention and you spin quickly, relaxing as you see who it is. The Siren lets out a high pitched cry, asking what you’re doing. You reply in the same tongue.

“A boy on the ship,” you begin in a keen, “he is interesting.” She shakes her head and grabs onto your arm, her scaly face scrunched up with fear and mistrust. “He saw me yesterday and he did not hurt me.” She shakes her head again and pulls you under the water, swimming quickly away from the surface with you right behind her. “Ryn! Ryn wait! Where are you goin?” You ask. She halts just underneath a deep-sea reef, her hands coming up to her face.

“Does Ariadné know that you’ve been sneaking around near humans? Pirates none the less? She’ll kill you herself if she finds out!” You sigh wistfully and roll your eyes.

“You do not understand. He... he is different.” She scoffs. “You don’t even know him. He is a pirate. If any of them see you you’ll be dead in moments. You know that.” You look down and nod slowly. She cups your cheeks and lifts your head, smiling with her pointed teeth. “C’mon. Let’s go find something big to catch. I’m in the mood for a challenge.”

She pulls you forwards, swimming quickly while calling out, listening for any echoes or replies to clue her into the whereabouts of a large fish, preferable a swordfish or young shark.

She suddenly perks up, the stabilizing wings on the sides of her tail flattening against her tail then shooting straight out as the gills on her neck move swiftly, taking in oxygenated water and disagreeing with everything else. She speeds off in the direction of the hunt and you follow, moving ahead of her as you catch the scent of a young adult great white shark. Your tail forces the water away from you, pushing you forwards.

Ryn comes up beside you and glances over at you, her sharp teeth bared and her once white eyes now fully purple with the promise of a meal. You slow down as you see the shark, your enhanced eyes finding it a few miles away. “Let’s have some fun,” Ryn says while swimming directly at the shark. You smile and swim after her, chasing her as she chases the shark.

It’s terrified. You can smell it. It turns around after a few more minutes of chase and you grin at the challenge it’s presenting. It snaps its jaws at Ryn and she squeals, moving out of the way as the fifteen-foot great white shark swims after her. You jump in, grabbing the shark’s dorsal fin and digging your nails into its side. It turns it’s head as much as it can and tries to snap at you. Ryn uses its distracted state and bites into its neck, tearing out a chunk of meat. You quickly do the same, catching some of its gills. It slowly stops struggling, bleeding out. You take another bite out of it, taking your time and eating the shark with Ryn.

“Save some for your sister. She hasn’t hunted today. She could use some food.” You nod and look around, hearing the calls of nearby Mermaids and Sirens as they smell the shark carcass.

“We should go before we need to fight for our catch,” you say, ripping a large chunk of meat off of the shark and swimming away from it as the calls get closer. Ryn grabs a chunk and swims after you, giggling happily.

“You’re back. I thought for sure you would’ve gone with the humans by now,” your sister says sarcastically, a relieved smile on her face. You nod and offer her the shark chunk. She smiles and takes it from you graciously. “Have you heard?” Ryn asks after a moment of silence. You look over at her with a frown, hoping she’s not going to tell your sister about the whole Pirate fiasco.

“I hear Pirates are going to Nassau to stock up then they’re going to find a kind of ancient treasure. Knowing them it’s probably a dead end.” You nod your agreement and sigh, thinking about the brown-eyed pirate boy.

“I hear with the moon coming they may not make it. The Sirens want them and they’re not stopping this time,” Ariadné muses around a mouthful of shark. You frown at her, “we must brand the boat then. Protect the sailors.” Ariadné and Ryn both look at you as if you’ve grown a second head.

“Why would we do that? They go out of their way to find us and kill us. Let them be claimed by the Sirens,” your sister says carelessly. You slap your tail against the water and glare at her.

“That is not how we were raised! We aren’t careless creatures. We are not ruthless hunters! We help. Protect! You forget about that,” your voice trails off and you look at the two expectantly.

“Nothing. So that’s just it?! You leave them to be killed?” They both slowly nod. “Not me. I will not. I cannot.” With that you turn and swim out of the cavern quickly, your eyes hurting. Your sister and Ryn call out for you, their cries echoing in the deep sea. You roll your eyes and search for the old cave where your parents raised you.

“The full moon is coming. The sea has been too quiet these past few days. I fear the worst,” Steve says to his first mate. Bucky sighs and looks around the Captain’s quarters. “Tonight, isn’t it?” He asks, remembering the strange conversation he had with Peter a few days ago.

“Yes. As the sun sets I fear we won’t live till morning.” Steve stands up and walks to the door. “Do not alert the men except those who know the dangers that lurk in these waters. We will need someone on watch tonight. I’ll take aft, you take astern. Find someone for Starboard and Port. Leave no section unmanned.” Bucky nods, knowing the first person he’ll get to watch.

“Parker, I have a task for you.” The young man looks up from his book as Bucky walks to the helm stairs. “Yes sir?” The metal-armed man sighs and looks around.

“Tonight is the full moon. The most dangerous time of the month. I would like you to be in charge of watching the starboard side of the ship tonight. You see anything, you shoot it then report to me. Understood?” Peter nods his head frantically, stuffing his book under the stairs and getting up.

“The winds are in our favour tonight. We should reach Nassau by dusk tomorrow,” Bucky says while walking away to take his own post. Peter leans over the rail and stares into the water, looking for any sign of anything resembling the woman he saw a few nights prior.

You carefully press the shell against the back bottom of the ship, burning your family’s brand into it. A shrill cry from behind you nearly makes you drop the shell. You look over your shoulder and bare your teeth, hissing at the Siren behind you.

She balls her fists and cries again, clearly frustrated with your claim on the ship. You hiss again and move away from the ship, claiming your space further. She reluctantly turns and swims away, crying out every now and then to let other Siren’s know of the change in plans.

You’re suddenly thrust away from the ship, sharp nails raking down through the brand. You hiss at the person, recoiling as you see who it is. “I told you to leave the Pirates alone!” Your older sister snarls, her voice still melodic.

The Siren stops and looks back, intrigued by whatever’s happening. “And I told you that I will not!” Your voice is threatening. “I can’t believe you. These people have taken everything from you. Your mother and father. Some of your friends. I will not have you defend them!” She grabs your arms and you wail loudly as her nails dig into your skin.

The Siren circles back to the ship and is quick to scratch the brand fully off. “No!” You thrust your elbow back and catch your sister in the ribs. She falls back and watches you in shock as you swim quickly to the Siren, grabbing her hair and slamming her head against the ship. She cries out and holds her heard, snarling at you. You dig your nails into her throat, slicing one of her gills. She shoves herself away from you and swims away quickly, clutching her neck.

“You are a fool!” Your sister exclaims. You turn to her and bare your teeth. “I will not have you ruining my chances of saving innocent men!” She chuckles and looks at the ship. watches as it rocks in the waves.

“How do you know they’re innocent? How do you know that they do not slaughter us and our sisters? You don't! Do not go and defend people when you do not know their actions!” You shove her shoulders again. “And do not go and kill people without knowing their actions! If you do it makes you no better than them!” She stares you down then looks up, watching as the ship sways some more.

“I will not go out of my way to defend people who have killed my family. If you wish to that is your choice. But if you get hurt do not come crying to me.” She turns and swims away from you, shunning you from what’s left of your family. You cry softly, high pitched and sad, but your sister doesn’t so much as flinch. You look down for a moment, saddened by the fact that you’ve lost the remainder of your family.

Peter looks out across the water, darkened by the fallen sun but lit up by the stars and full moon. All throughout the night, he’s been hearing light calls that sound similar to whales and he’s kept his gun high.

A rock suddenly hits his chest lightly, surprising him. He looks around the ship but upon finding no one, shrugs and looks back at the rock, his eyebrows jumping almost off of his face. The exact same red rock that he lost in the water a few nights before is lying right on the rail in front of him. He looks out into the water, searching for you.

Little does he know that you’re just below the surface, your eyes on the gun in his hand.

He glances at the rock again and carefully picks it up, placing the gun down and tossing the rock back into the water. You raise your head out and catch the rock, smiling gently as Peter looks at you. “It’s you,” he whispers, recognizing you. He glances up at the moon as Bucky’s words bounce around in his head then grabs the gun, aiming it at you.

The smile falls from your face and you watch as Peter seems to fight an internal battle. You look down at the rock in your hand then back up at Peter, holding the rock up for him to see. He opens his hand and you toss the rock to him. He holds it in his hand carefully then looks at you, noticing how you’re staring at the gun. He gently sets it down and offers you the rock again.

You catch it and swim forwards a bit, keeping your senses on high alert for any hostile movement from under the water or above.

He glances over his shoulder, noticing the man keeping watch on the port side is fast asleep and Bucky and Steve are nowhere to be found. He looks back at you, surprised to see you so much closer.

“Are you going to hurt us?” He finds himself asking the question before he can think. You’re surprised by him directly talking to you. “I don’t hurt,” you reply. Peter nods, entranced by your voice.

“Do you have a name?” You smile up at him, lifting your shoulders out of the water. “Yes. I am (Y/n).” He tests the name and grins. “I-I’m Peter.” You giggle lightly, the sound dazing Peter.

“I know,” you whisper. He blushes and looks over his shoulder. “If you’re not going to hurt us... why are you here?” You look down at the water for a moment then back up to him. “Because I am intrigued. You are humans. I have never... met a human.” Peter nods slowly, trying to understand why you’d want to meet a human.

“Well, look you can’t be up here. The others aren’t like me. They see you and they won’t wait for you to explain. They’ll kill you in cold blood.” You tilt your head to the side.

“But not you?”

He shakes his head ‘no’ and smiles lightly. “Not me. I haven’t been raised like them. Your kind hasn’t given me any reason to want to hate you.” You find yourself in awe of his spirit. “You need to go though. If anyone sees you... you’ll be in trouble.” You swim back a bit then look up into his eyes. “Will I see you again?” You ask desperately.

He looks over his shoulder, his eyes widening as he sees Bucky emerge from the Captain’s quarters. “Peter?” You ask. He looks back at you then at the rock in his hand. “We make port in Nassau by tomorrow night. I’ll walk along the beach and find a doc. Leave the rock somewhere you can go and I’ll find you.” He tosses the rock to you and you catch it, ducking under the water and swimming away quickly.

“Parker? Is there something there?” Bucky asks, jogging to his side quickly. Peter looks at the man and shakes his head no. “I... I just thought I saw something. I threw a rock at it and it was nothing though. Can... is there any way I’d be able to switch shifts? I think my eyes are playing tricks on me. I need to get some sleep.” Bucky pats his shoulder and nods.

“You go get some shuteye, I’ll take over for you.” The young man glances across the water again then heads away from the rail and below deck to the crew’s quarters.

“Alright, everyone. Make quick work of rowing to shore. We don’t want to be in the deeper waters for longer than we must,” Steve says, taking the first of a few longboats.

“I’ll... I’ll catch up. I want to gather my thoughts,” Peter says as the second last boat goes. “You’re alright rowing by yourself?” Bucky asks from inside the longboat. Peter nods, needing time to himself. Bucky nods and rows away with the boat full of people, leaving Peter to himself.

After a few moments he lowers the longboat then jumps in, grabbing the oars and slowly rowing towards the shore.

“Peter,” you whisper while breaking the surface right beside him. “Jesus!” He tosses the oar half a foot away from him and nearly tips the boat over in his state of fright. “I am sorry. I did not mean to scare.”

He looks at you then does a double-take, your beauty so much more enchanting in the daylight. “(Y/n)...” You rest your arms on the side of the boat and look up at him. “Yes, Peter?” He simply stares at you, taking in your form for the first time up close, enjoying your strangely accented voice.

Your eyes are a striking shade of (y/e/c), brilliant and bright. Your skin, smooth and (s/c) is covered in iridescent scales. The scales are light on your face, only on your jawline and by your hairline, not covering your face. On your neck, they gradually get more concentrated and underneath your collarbones, they cover you like a skin-tight suit.

Peter slowly leans forwards, his eyes moving down past the edge of the boat and into the clear water where your tail would be. “Peter?” His eyes snap back up to your face and he backs up a bit. “You’re out... It’s bright outside. Someone could see you.” You look around then back up to him. “I have never been this close to a human before,” You whisper, raising a hand off of the boat and slowly extending it towards him.

“Can I touch?” He looks at the webbing between your scaly fingers and the stabilizing wings on your forearm then nods, looking to your eyes as you run your fingers over his shirt, feeling the fabric carefully. “It is soft,” you whisper after a moment, looking back up to his eyes. He nods then looks towards the dock. “I need to go to shore. They’ll be waiting.” You frown and pull your hand back.

“We’re staying here for a few days. Then we’ll be back on the water.” You nod your understanding and bite your bottom lip. You slowly move away from the boat and head swim backwards.

“Bye Bye Peter.” You turn around. “Wait! Will I see you again?” He asks. You smile to yourself and raise one of your hands out of the water. “I leave the rock where I will be.” He smiles and watches as you submerge yourself, your tail flicking above the water as you swim away.

“Tonight, good men, we splurge! Find a dame, a woman. Let yourselves go! We leave in a few days so enjoy yourselves!” Steve cries, his arm around a brown-haired woman with a British accent. Bucky is with a different brown-haired woman, this one voluptuous. “Don’t expect to see us around anytime soon either,” Bucky adds while kissing the woman.

Peter turns away and walks out of the bar and down to the beach, sitting in the sand as the moon shines down brightly, a warm breeze blowing through his curly brown hair. He looks down either side of the beach, stopping as his eyes rest on a pair of legs on the dry sand. He follows the legs and stops on the face, his heart stuttering.

He runs through the sand, probably looking ridiculous, and slows when he nears you.

You’re lying on the sand, unconscious and naked.

He pulls his sweater off and drapes it over your body before carefully shaking your arm. “(Y/n)?” Your breathing is heavy and it concerns him a bit, the concert getting shoved away as you slowly open your eyes.

“Peter?” You ask softly, pushing yourself up onto your forearms. The sweater falls off of your skin and Peter blushes, pick it up and draping it over your shoulders. “How... how do you have legs?” He asks, his fingers hovering over them for a moment before he pulls his hand back. “Mermaid can be human out of water.” He nods and looks around.

“You stay here. I’m gonna go grab you some clothes. Then we’ll... take it from there, okay?” You nod your head yes and watch him with wide eyes as he stands up and walks away from the beach. You look down at your own legs and wiggle your toes, giggling a little at the feel of it. You dig your feet into the sand and throw your head back laughing at the tickling feeling of the sand between your toes.

Peter hears your tinkling laugh and can’t help but smile, wondering what’s causing it. He grabs some clothes from a store with no one watching and hurries back to you.

“Here, I got you some pants that looked your size and I figured you could keep my sweater.” You look up at him with a smile on your face. “Peter is kind. Why?” He hands you the clothes and shrugs, “because (Y/n) is kind.” Your eyes soften and you look away, down to the clothes.

“Can Peter help (Y/n)? Please?” Peter nods and takes the pants from your hands, straightening them then gently taking one of your ankles and putting it through the leg hole. He does the same on the other leg then takes your hands and brings them to his shoulders.

“I’m going to stand up with you. Hold onto me.” You nod and let him pull you to a standing position. His hands grab the waistband of the comfortably tight pants and he pulls them up all the way, a fiery blush staining his cheeks the entire time. His fingers rest on your waist for a moment before he pulls them away to help you into the sweater.

As soon as it’s on properly you grab his hand and look at it closely, your eyes flashing to his as you rest your hand against his. He stays perfectly still as you bring your other hand to his chest, his shirt unbuttoned and open. Your hand rests on his bare skin, tracing over the crisp lines of his muscles.

“Peter is soft,” you whisper, your fingers trailing down lightly below his bellybutton, following the line of hair until you get to his pants. “Yeah, my skin is soft. So is yours.”

You smile, “(y/n) is soft too?” He chuckles and brings his hand up to your face, his fingers lightly tracing your cheek and down your neck. “Yes. (Y/n) is very soft.” You close your eyes as Peter’s hands move down your neck. He pulls away only to grab your waist, his fingers pressing into the soft skin under the sweater.

“So soft,” he mutters. You sigh and slowly open your eyes. “Will Peter tell (Y/n) about humans?” You ask quietly, looking up into his soft brown eyes. “Uh... sure. W-What do you wanna know?” You bring your hands to his shoulders and usher him down to the sand. “Everything.”

Peter lies down on the sand with you beside him, your hands in his as he tells you everything you want to know.

#jolly sailor bold #mermaid #mermaid aesthetic #mermaid au #pirate au #siren au #siren #pirate #Peter Parker #Pirate!Peter #freeform siren #ryn inspired #Peter Parker x reader #peter parker x y/n #Peter Parker x mermaid!reader #Peter Parker x reader mermaid au #Peter Parker x reader pirate au #pirate!Peter Parker x mermaid!reader #pirate!Peter x mermaid!reader

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simplystefanie-rae · 4 years ago

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Hi, welcome to my hour of discussing/stream of conscious writing about Wanda and how terrible her life was and how this effected her without the tired and frankly boring reminder of how bad of a person she is and that what she’s doing is bad attached to it. I believe her doing bad things should go without saying.

Anyway I just really wanted to get my thoughts about her out there. This show has been such a fascinating look into her head that was sorely needed after Endgame. In having her force control over everything around her it made me realize that control, or the lack of it, is one of the most defining traits of her arc.

Wanda having almost no control over anything in her life and her subsequently breaking down and retaliating by forcing control over everything around her is the most interesting character arc marvel has ever done, at least in my opinion. I always thought there is no physical way a person could cope with this much trauma unless they had help (and as far as we know, she hasn’t), and wondered why they kept piling this onto her character without giving her the space to really do anything about it. Obviously she wasn’t a huge character until now so there was no space for her to do so, but this neglect allowed for what I think is the inevitable response from her body and mind to reject reality all together because it is physically impossible for her to process everything that happened to her, so I’m glad the showrunner seems to just be running with that. Her character screams ‘repress and move on’ until suddenly she just can’t anymore.

Considering that the commercials in Wandavision are hitting the major story beats of her life in order (though not her brother’s death yet, which seems significant), and that they’re ads, something she’s not actively part of, I don’t think she ever truly accepted all that’s happened to her. Wanda is a person who I think desires control and stability in her life since she's always lacked it, but her trying to actively take control always ends in disaster, and instead of seemingly coming to terms with that she just moves onto the next thing instead.

When her and Pietro are 10 years old a bomb dropped into their apartment and killed their parents and they’re stuck waiting under a bed for two days while another bomb just sat in front of them. There’s nothing the two could do except wait to die, and look at the name on the bomb. If they didn’t have a face to put on the cause of their tragedy I think they either would have been truly lost, or had space to cope with what happened to them in the absence of anything else to do, but they know it was Stark Industries/ the USA and this knowledge gave them something to hate and fight against, and I think that sets up Wanda’s character for the rest of her life in how she deals with more trauma; look for something else to do and do it.

The events in her life are almost absurd in how everything seems stacked against her and her choices no matter what she does. She joined Ultron because she thought she was helping the world, and she was wrong. She teamed up with the Avengers to try and fix her mistakes, but her brother dies. She chose to stay behind in Novi Grad to die and Vision saves her (which I’m glad for, and I don’t blame him obviously, but it’s interesting how it’s still taking a choice away from her).

As far as we know, since they refused to mention her brother again for the longest time, Wanda hasn’t really processed his death. The lack of commercial about him so far and how she’s now deluding herself into believing he’s alive supports that. Going by her character, it makes sense that she would focus on being an Avenger and trying to do some real good in the world, and I’m sure that worked for a while until what happened in Lagos. And then she had to grapple with more guilt over an event that, let’s be honest, wasn’t even her fault. But because she’s a woman of action, she chose to go with Clint instead of ‘sitting on her ass’, because to her siding with Steve and helping Bucky stop more winter soldiers was more important of a goal. And for that choice she gets sent to the Raft and locked up in a straight jacket with a shock collar.

The two years she had with Vision are very important because despite being on the run I think it’s the first time she could actually breathe and just be. Obviously that’s just a lot of speculation because we see very little, but they both looked content and happy. ‘It works’, as they said, and they were about to run away together until everything went to hell, ruining what was basically a fairytale ending for them.

I don’t know if enough emphasis is being put onto how incredibly fucked up it is that Wanda had to kill Vision herself and how it all went down. She was forced to make this awful choice, but between her and Vision they agreed and while it was a bad choice, it was still hers that she made with respect to the love of her life. But once again her choice didn’t matter. Thanos literally undid her decision and murdered Vision right in front of her in one of the most brutal deaths I’v ever seen in these movies. Wanda was relieved to die after that and that cannot be dismissed. She wanted to die, again, and she got what she wanted for once, until she didn’t.

We don’t exactly know yet how things went down when she went to get Vision’s body out of Sword, but I think we can make an estimated guess that seeing him taken apart and treated like an object to be used (again) was it for her. It’s unimaginable having to kill your significant other, see them murdered, and then desecrated in the span of what, a week? I really think her body and mind completely just rebelled against her and that exploded into what Westview is now. She’s literally unable to process anything else so she’s now just violently rejecting reality and forcing control over the world around her, because if she accepts reality, well, there’s nothing left for her except for that feeling of nothing.

#wandavision #wandavision spoilers #vision #wanda #wanda maximoff

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revolutionary-pirate · 4 years ago

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Comment from @therevwriter:

I'm intrigued. Where does Mr. Bi Disaster come from? Everything I've read paints him as constantly obsessed with women. I'd be interested to explore some other sources, because the JPJ in my head is a womanizing asshole and I'm always open to having my opinions altered through new info.

There is potentially a lot to explore here. I’ve discussed some of these things at varying lengths on my blog in the past, but it’s been like 3-4 years ago at this point so I figure it wouldn’t hurt to have a more somewhat comprehensive overview on the topic of John Paul Jones, the evidence that he may have been bisexual, and his complicated relationship with trust, women, sex, and depression and how those all tie together into the well-deserved imagining that JPJ could be perceived as a womanizing asshole. I’ll ramble a bit. The fastest point to address here would be the bisexual one. I had never face palmed harder in my life than when I read Evan Thomas’ biography on John Paul Jones and he said that there was no evidence that Jones was Bisexual immediately after including an explicitly bisexual poem Jones wrote in Latin simply because there was ‘no concrete evidence that Jones actually slept with any men.’ (Thomas, 232.) After having repeatedly speculated the entire book that any women Jones so much as looked at, he also fucked with zero evidence to back up any of those wild claims. He couldn’t fathom the idea of a man being friends with a woman who named him the godfather of her child and him actually loving his god child. He basically said that the only way this was possible is if Jones was actually somehow the real father and I rolled my eyes so far back in my head it hurt. Sure Jones was kind of a slut but jesus. I thought about it more later and laughed so hard because Thomas on the subject was just the living embodiment of ‘a guy could write down in a diary that on x date at x time he had sex with another man’ and straight white male historians would still find a way to say “Well...” I counter, do we really need more evidence than the poem (linked here if you want to read a clunky translation of said semi-erotic poem) to speculate that there was a very real chance that Jones was Bisexual without dismissing it outright immediately as impossible?

(an aside: when you have a reputation for womanizing, no one would suspect a thing about you sleeping with men as well. Unfortunately his womanizing reputation made him easy to target and for people to believe the crime for, re: his time in Russia where he was framed by his political enemies for assaulting a young girl, a crime punished by beheading, the plot for which was just barely uncovered before Jones killed himself instead and then also the time Ben Franklin told Jones that while he was at sea a maid stole Jones’ clothes and assaulted another lady during a festival while dressed like him and the lady’s sons went on a man hunt looking for him.) It’s unfortunate that historians can easily explain any mlm tendencies at sea on just that: being at sea. But I do have to acknowledge that reality. As someone who is asexual I am well acquainted with the idea that action =/= attraction. And Jones, very explicitly, wrote that he’s just as comfortable being on both the giving and receiving ends of sex with men as he is with women (and I mean that, the poem also possibly suggests he’s down with getting pegged). On top of that, the poem was written in Latin. I’ve mentioned before that the likelihood that any of the people on board Jones’ crew would be in anyway well-versed in understanding Latin is... extremely unlikely. Most men who set out to sea were generally uneducated. he wrote a bisexual poem in the language of the gays that no one around him at the time would ever be able to understand should they have come across it.

When it comes to Jones and women, things get complicated. John Paul Jones is a tragic figure. He was his own worst enemy and on top of that, his life was a string of endless betrayal after betrayal by those he thought he could trust. He was paranoid by nature and that reinforced it, to the point of serious health complications caused by lack of sleep because he was too afraid of mutiny happening in his sleep. Ironically, he was also a terrible judge of character and easily blinded by flashy displays of wealth and empty flattery from attractive men, which burned him. People often used him and then tossed him aside. He suffered greatly for it. One of the examples of this that hurts me the most is that the man Jones trusted most during the AmRev was actually a British Spy. Jones considered Edward Bancroft to be his closest and most intimate friend and confidant. Jones never suspected Bancroft was feeding the British all of his plans and had even come up with a cipher for the two of them to communicate. The Battle of Flamborough Head that won Jones his fame was only possible because, just once, Bancroft... for some reason... decided not to snitch. Maybe he’d gone soft on Jones? Who knows. The reveal of Bancroft’s ultimate betrayal after the war was definitely one of the final straws for Jones, though. He never trusted again.

The reason why this is important to note is that one of my favorite quotes from Jones is one that’s revealingly honest about why it’s easy to see him as a womanizing asshole. A female acquaintance of his later in life confronted him on the matter, calling him out on how he prefers taking lovers over making friends. Jones then admitted “sad experience generally shows that where we expect to find a friend, we have only been treacherously deluded by false appearances.” (quote pulled from Thomas 303 because I can’t access the JPJ papers these days). As a very social man, Jones was probably starved for human contact but he isolated himself from people and refused to make friends he believed would inevitably betray him, settling for attempting to satisfy what was probably a deep seated longing for genuine human connection with strings of shallow dalliances (never able to trust enough to fall in love) that never filled the endless yawning void of his spiraling depression. (catch me crying in the club for the umpteenth time about Jones saying “I would have faced death a thousand times, but today I desire it” [quote pulled from the memoirs of diplomat Comte de Ségur]).

Jones is a thoroughly complex and intriguing disaster of a human being to study and he fascinates me to no end for that reason and I love reading about him and trying to peer between the lines at the shattered man underneath all of the peacocking and unsatisfiable ambition.

#John Paul Jones #i'd wait to post this till the 6th but why the hell not #might as well get an early start #continental navy #captain john paul jones #I didn't feel like spending time on properly sourcing instances cuz this is tumblr and I'm in grad school and its summer break so i'm lazy #but i can go more in depth and sourced about any topic I touched on in this post if asked

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tiaragqueen · 5 years ago

Note

How about something for Yan!Fubuki and rather rebellious Darling?

Exigency

✂ Pairing: Yandere! Fubuki x Female! Reader

✂ Word Count: 1,1k+

✂ Trigger Warnings: Possessiveness, death, slight gore, manipulation, implied stalking

[Edited]

***

If you like my writing, please support me on ko-fi!

“Sometimes I’m not sure I’m all you’ve got. Sometimes I’m not sure if you love me or not. One thing I know girl, I care for you, and the one thing that I want is that you care for me too.” - I Care About You [Babyface]

Living with Fubuki was probably a dream life anyone could ever ask for. Anything you wanted – clothes, jewelry, food, etcetera – she procured to the best of her ability. Her fame and confidence also made things easier for her to gain, although slight pressure to the sellers happened occasionally. She endeavored to create a comfortable and fulfilling life where the only thing you had to do was to give her the love she deserved, but it still wasn’t enough. You stayed aloof to her efforts, to her earnest confessions, and coldly rejected them all. The pain exceeded the heartbreak she felt when her sister unwittingly drove her childhood friends away, and Fubuki was getting impatient.

“You haven’t touched your food,” she remarked once she spotted the cold breakfast sitting on the nightstand. You said nothing and continued to stare outside despite her approaching figure. Fubuki sighed, massaging her forehead. “I know you hate me, but please, don’t starve yourself.”

It hurt to say that word, but there was no use in deluding herself into thinking you loved her. Ever since you learned about her involvement with your breakup, you began to ignore her. There were times when you almost forgot about the whole ordeal and got an urge to talk to her, but unfortunately, you caught yourself.

So far, the only person you conversed with was Lilly. The topic was mundane, and she noticed you refrained from discussing your ongoing problem with her, but it pained her all the same. How you were more comfortable interacting with her assistant than herself. She just wanted to help you by cutting that toxic man out of your life! He clearly didn’t love you as much as she was, as much as she could ever be, so why were you angry at her? Should you be grateful that he’d no longer bother you with his ingratiating smiles and fake concern? Should you be happy that you’d landed on a more responsible hand; one that would take care of you better than anyone in this world?

Why were you making things hard for her to fully love you?

“I see you’re still ignoring me, huh…” she mused, moving to sit beside you. “It’s been a week… I wonder how long you can keep that up.”

You twitched, and she knew you were listening albeit reluctantly. Whatever. At least half of your attention was on her now. She just had to use it perfectly before you started to lose interest.

“A powerful monster has been giving around strange meat to people and turns them into their kind. One of my subordinates informed me that your ex is a part of those monsters now.” Fubuki pursed her lips to prevent the smirk from appearing when she discerned your stiff body through her peripheral vision. “As a hero, I must fight the villains. Even if it means… killing them in the process.”

Your hands jerked and clenched on your lap.

Fubuki sighed, leaning against the headboard of your shared bed. She didn’t want to resort to this method, but she had no choice. She wanted you to learn about the consequences of your willful attitude. “Of course, I can kill him gently instead of the gruesome death he deserves. But… is kindness really worth it to a vicious creature like him? For all I know, he might be killing and eating some innocents right now.”

“He’s not evil.” you finally spoke, determine to keep his name clear. He might be your ex, but it didn’t mean you’d stopped loving him. Your separation had been abrupt, after all. “There’s no way he’d readily accept such a weird offer. He’s not thirsty for power.”

“I don’t know, [Name].” She fished out a photo of a green, beast-like creature from her pocket. “My subordinate gave me this. He looks the same as your ex, don’t you think?”

“It can be anyone, though.” you continued to resist, refusing to consider the evidence even for a moment. “Heck, it can be just a random monster they met on the street. There are so many possibilities, and him being my ex isn’t the only one.”

Fubuki frowned as though she pitied you. “Dear, how long are you going to deny it? I mean, look!” She showed another photo, this time, a picture of your friend in casual clothes. “Same hairstyle and hair color.”

But you didn’t notice the odd similarities, instead, you were focused on the new proof. “You… took a picture of my ex without his permission? How… how long have you been stalking him?!”

“Does it matter? Don’t you care about his life?”

“You don’t even give me a choice!” you retorted.

“I do, actually.” Contrary to your near hysterical state, Fubuki retained her composure. You used to think she was more emotional than you, but it seemed you’d underestimated her. This was probably the result of leading a huge group with different personas. “I’m offering you a merciful or terrible doom upon him because I care about you.”

Your mouth moved to speak, but no words came out. Was it even a legitimate photo of his monster self? He’d told you that he’d like to gain extra power someday, but you didn’t expect him to stoop so low. Maybe… maybe she was right. Maybe he really had changed, and you were too stubborn to admit it. Well, it wasn’t something anyone could readily accept anyway. Your friend suddenly transformed into a horrible being? That sounded like a cliché story, but alas, your world was a giant, continuous horror movie with no sign of ending.

Fubuki merely patted your shoulder sympathetically and stood up, mumbling something about understanding your feelings. You couldn’t hear anything aside from the serene chirping of the birds, and you stayed in the same spot until she returned half an hour later. Her greeting fell to deaf ears as she opened a plastic bag, revealing the deformed head of your deceased ex. One of his eyes was missing with blood flowing steadily down the sunken cheek and passed his sheared lips. The remaining eye stared into your soul, hollow yet evocative.

You wondered if there was a hidden intent to his murder beyond mere duty. The first time you’d told her about him, her expression conveyed no happiness. But why did she still hate someone who was no longer a part of your life? Was it because you’d come crying to her after your breakup? Was it because you’d lamented to her about the growing distance between you and him?

Was it because she was jealous of your relationship with him?

“It’s alright,” she whispered, rubbing your back in response to your shocked silence. “I know it’s hard to swallow, but it’s his choice to die this way. The least you can do is let him go and accept his passing.”

Sighing, Fubuki leaned forward and wrapped her arms around your waist. “I gave you choices, but you couldn’t answer. So, I took it upon myself to decide the best outcome for everyone.” She rested her head on the crook of your neck and heaved. “He won’t be able to get in our way anymore.”

#yandere oneshot #yandere imagine #anime yandere au #yandere anime #anime yandere #yandere anime au #yandere scenario #yandere one punch man #opm yandere oneshot #yandere opm #opm yandere #yandere opm x reader #Yandere fubuki #Yandere Fubuki x reader #female reader

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moneypedia · 4 years ago

Link

I said I would show you my “how” and here it is.

This is my guide to conquer depression with practical advice you can use right now.

Just make sure you commit to making this change, because none of this will help without your own time and effort.

And remember, if someone as broken as I was can comeback from this, there’s no doubt you can too.

Use the links here to navigate between each section and go straight to what you want to see:

Check Your Source

Master the Reframe

Thoughts on a Page

The Fundamentals

The Power of Words

Embrace What Others Hate

Keep Your Thoughts on a Leash

(Note: This post contains affiliate links. If you decide to follow the links and make a purchase, I will receive a small commission from the item(s) at no extra cost to you.)

Check Your Source

You know what’s more depressing than actually being depressed?

Doing a Google search on how to beat depression.

(I know that’s ironic if you got here through Google but hear me out anyway.)

Back when I was dealing with this, and even now when I compare my tips with others, I realized that most people who gave advice were victims who told how to live with the problem. They didn’t have solutions that came from actually solving it.

It was like an unemployed person telling you how to survive without a paycheck instead of showing you how to get a job.

The first page of Google showed me posts telling me to be patient so my situation might change. They told me that I should go watch a heartwarming movie. Or maybe drink tea every morning to bring me peace.

Are you serious?

You’re telling someone who feels lower than the dirt underneath your fingernails that tea is somehow gonna help?

It was pathetic. You could see the struggle laced all throughout their words.

Even when I was in that place, I knew better than to listen to those still stuck where I was trying to leave.

So remember that if the person you’re listening to still sounds broken, they haven’t conquered anything yet.

But keeping that in mind, you should also avoid another group. That group is the tough love crew—with an emphasis on the tough part.

They’ve either…

A) Never faced what you’re dealing with. So they’ll treat you like less of a person because they can’t show understanding.

Or…

B) They have been through this, but they overcompensate for their former weakness by giving bogus “man up” advice.

It’s people like that who keep you from starting meaningful discussions about what’s going on.

The good news is, you have one person here who’s dealt with your problem and found real solutions—not just gimmicks to treat symptoms. So follow this guide and only take additional advice from people who have done what you want to do. Otherwise, you’ll set yourself up for failure.

Master the Reframe

You can often trace depression back to the thoughts you decide to dwell on. If you focus on your failures for example, you’ll view life through a darker lens than someone who focuses on the good.

It’s always possible to find good in any situation, whether controllable or uncontrollable. And reframing is how you do that.

So what is reframing? It’s simply changing your view of a situation to the most positive outlook.

We can look at the classic glass-half-full example to see reframing in action. The person who reframes will see the glass as being half full, whereas a person who doesn’t will see the glass as half empty.

All you’re doing is taking your circumstances and looking at them from a better angle.

If you’re dealing with a controllable problem, it’s best to use your reframe as a starting point for action. And if you have an uncontrollable problem, you look for learning points, opportunities, and the overall big picture.

So here’s a different example: Let’s say you lose your job.

You can do like most people and worry about your money. You can hold a grudge against your boss. Or you might complain that it wasn’t fair and refuse to search for work.

But all of those are terrible perspectives. Reframe them instead:

You can’t control the fact that they let you go, but you can ask the company why it happened.

You can use the loss as motivation to change your work ethic.

And you can view it as more time to spend with your family now while forming a list of potential interviews for later.

Reframing alone won’t solve your problems, but it will keep you from dwelling on things outside your control.

Just make sure you base your reframe in reality. Don’t act like you’ve risen above the job you had after you’ve lost it.

You may very well have a better opportunity out there. But there’s no need to build a false ego. If you take a loss, learn from it and move on. No one is above anything.

When you base your reframe on a false truth, all you’re doing is deluding yourself. And doing that will cause more issues than the original problem did.

But anyway, that’s reframing in a nutshell. It’s easy to understand yet tough to master.

So if you’re new to this, it’s a good idea to start small with the daily problems in life. Those will prepare you for the harder challenges you face later on.

Remember that there is always a bright spot in any problem, but you have to find it first.

Creativity really is one of the pillars of a strong mindset. So make sure you always see the big picture.

Thoughts on a Page

Many people who deal with depression live inside their heads—they think much more than the average person. And if you think that much, you need to read and write.

I’ll focus on writing in this section.

Writing is just putting thoughts on a page. It’s taking your train of thought and organizing it to make sense. And it’s the organization part of writing that’s so therapeutic.

That’s because many of us don’t notice the quality of our thoughts until they’re staring us in the face. And when we do see them, we’re surprised by what they say.

That’s the biggest reason why I recommend you write on a consistent basis. You don’t have to publish anything—that’s not the point here. The point is to get your thoughts in front of you so you can analyze them.

Now the best tool for this is, you guessed it, a journal. And no, not one where you talk about how cute your crush is. You need to be very specific in how you use this to get results.

The first thing to do is write down all of what you’re thinking. You have to dump everything out your brain before you piece it back together.

This journal will be for your eyes only. So feel free to write about anything here.

Write down all the thoughts that dominate your mind no matter how dark they may be. Do that until you can’t think of anything else and then take a step away.

After doing that, you’ll feel relief—like you threw off a heavy burden.

Wait a few minutes and then come back to look at it all. When you see your thoughts in front of you later, you’ll realize that many of them were irrational, and you’ll wonder how you let them float around in your head for so long.

Everything else you wrote will have an underlying theme to it. You may be dealing with self-esteem issues, thoughts of inferiority, or a general disappointment that you allow to hold you back.

Once you find that theme in your words, trace it to a problem that’s either controllable or uncontrollable.

After that, reframe your perspective and create an action plan.

This whole process will force you to organize your thoughts and control your thinking patterns. But make sure you write all this by hand to get the best results.

For an idea of how this would work, let’s take a look at my story to see how I would use this strategy:

First, I would write about my situation like I did in Part 1.

Then I would walk away and come back to the journal later. After coming back, I would scratch out anything crazy like self-harm or suicide. Then I would see my underlying theme—failure to meet expectations.

From this point, I would reframe my problems and make a plan to work with what I had.

Then I would write down whatever I chose in the end. And that would leave me with a before and after picture of where I was at. I could then come back to my journal if I ever struggled with the same issue again.

This brain dump process is one of the best tools to evaluate your thoughts. I’ve used it plenty in my own journal but now the process is automatic. I just do it my head.

But until you get to that point, take note of this process and apply it to whatever you’re going through.

I’ve put all the steps below:

Write your dominating thoughts

Step away for a while

Come back and analyze what you wrote

Cross out irrational thoughts

Find the theme

Determine the problem

Reframe the problem

Write your action plan

The Fundamentals

Look at any great NBA player and you’ll see that they all have one thing in common: they’ve mastered the fundamentals.

Sure, some of them have insane physical gifts, but for every great player with a physical advantage, there’s a hundred athletic freaks who didn’t make the cut.

Guys like Jordan, Magic, and Kobe all performed moves that made people’s mouths drop. But when you look closely, you’ll see that those moves are only additions to basic parts of the game.

Those guys would have never been the players they were by building on what looked cool or felt right. They built upon the right moves no matter how old, boring, or tedious they were.

And building your mindset works the same way. You have to build on fundamental truths, no matter how harsh they may be.

One of the hardest pills to swallow is that the world isn’t obligated to care about your loneliness. The world isn’t obligated to care for your feelings. And it’s not obligated to care for how special you think you are.

You are responsible for your emotional state.

Now I know that’s tough to hear, especially if you’ve never had to humble yourself like this before. But once you learn to care for your own emotional needs, you can move on to what the world always cares about—value.

It doesn’t matter what failures you have, how much money you make, or even what you look like. The world always cares about what you’re willing and able to give.

I know I didn’t understand that during my rough years, and you may not understand it now, but it’s true. So instead of always searching for what you can get, find ways you can give to others instead. And guess what will happen when you do?

People will want to be around you. Money won’t be a problem. A stranger will see that some people do care.

Stop worrying about what you want, and focus on what others need. Become someone who willingly gives to others and your own needs will be more than taken care of.

The Power of Words

Remember how I said you should read and write? Well now we’re at the reading part.

Reading has been so valuable to me that I feel bad for people who don’t do it—they make life harder than it needs to be. I wouldn’t know to do 50 percent of my daily actions without reading about it somewhere. I can only imagine what those people have to work with.

They don’t understand that words are powerful. That they’re life changing.

Our schools overdo it sometimes with the whole “knowledge is power” thing, but for good reason. Almost every oppressive government in history made sure to destroy one thing—books.

My point is, if you’re depressed and you aren’t reading, you don’t stand a chance.

Back when I fought depression, I felt completely alone. I thought no one could relate to me. And looking at all the people around me then, I had good reason to think so. All I could see were people laughing with their friends while I was miserable.

I had to find help from elsewhere and that’s why I started reading. I read so much back then that I kept a bottle of Tylenol next to all my material.

Through reading, I found mentors, motivators, and friends. They were people I could relate to. People who had felt like I did and found a way to rise above it.

I learned more about the world through a year of reading than I had all throughout my years of school. And most of the challenges people complain about now became simple to me.

That may sound like an exaggeration, but you have to understand the impact words can have on your character.

Whenever you read, you open your mind to a new perspective. Just like in a normal conversation.

When you expose youself to the thoughts of others, you start to change the way you think. That new thought process shapes the way you act. And those consistent actions determine your character.

And that whole process started with a little reading.

“So where should I start?”

I’m glad you asked.

I’ll give a few recommendations here, but before I do that, I need to warn you about the danger of some reading too. The process above is helpful if you read good material, but if all you take in is garbage, that’s what you’ll get out.

So with that said, here’s where you can start:

The Bible

If there was one thing that helped me the most during this time, it was getting back into my Bible. And no, that’s not me pushing an agenda. That’s me telling the truth.

Earlier I said the world doesn’t really care unless you have something to offer, but there is Someone who always cares. And reading the Bible is how you learn more about Him.

The most common version of the Bible is the King James Version (KJV), but I think it’s best to read multiple versions to get the best understanding. Two of my favorites are the New American Standard Bible (NASB) and the New King James Version (NKJV).

Some translations are definitely better than others, but if you read any of those three, you’ll be fine.

I should also mention that the Bible has been around for centuries, and scholars have spent lifetimes making it easier for readers to understand. That’s why I think it’s best to use a study version instead of one that only has the text.

I personally have a NKJV study Bible that I love. It has summaries of individual books, commentary for almost all the verses, and articles about specific topics.

Now if you’re new to reading the Bible, I’d encourage you to start with the Gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. Those are all about Christ and the work He did that was so important.

I’ll talk more in depth about all this in the future, but you can start there if you’re new.

But getting back to my specific experience with depression, there were two books of the Bible that helped me the most.

Proverbs

He who heeds the word wisely will find good, And whoever trusts in the Lord, happy is he. (Proverbs 16:20 NKJV)

When I was kid, one of my favorite teachers bragged on the book of Proverbs all time, and those memories stayed with me years later. So when I decided to get back into the Bible, it was the first place I went.

Practical wisdom fills the pages of Proverbs, and that wisdom is still relevant for people today. The book covers everything from communication, financial planning, and even dealing with the opposite sex.

Proverbs differs from many of the other books of the Bible as it’s a collection of wise sayings, and not so much a book with a consistent subject throughout. However, its general nature makes it great for application to numerous parts of everyday life.

So if you need advice for how anyone can find happiness and live a truly successful life, the book of Proverbs is one of the first places you should go.

Ecclesiastes

Maybe your depression doesn’t stem from a problem at all. Maybe it’s just a feeling of emptiness—a void you can’t fill no matter what. Well that’s what the speaker in Ecclesiastes describes here:

Therefore I hated life because the work that was done under the sun was distressing to me, for all is vanity and grasping for the wind. (Ecclesiastes 2:17 NKJV)

It’s this ability to face the harsher parts of life that makes Ecclesiastes one of my favorite books of the Bible.

While the book is similar to Proverbs as it also contains guidance for practical living, the author focuses more on a big picture view of life itself. And while I wouldn’t call it a feel-good read, the author eventually describes how to find true purpose and live life to the fullest.

So check it out when you get the chance. People could save years of wasted time by reading Ecclesiastes and following its instruction.

Other Reading

I’m sure it’s clear that the Bible is the Book I hold above all others. That’s because the Bible doesn’t just inform—it transforms.

I do read a lot of other material though, but I can’t recommend everything I read in good conscience. I’m mature enough in what I believe to filter out what I know is wrong, but you may not be, and I don’t want to lead you down a wrong path.

I would recommend some stuff in the thinking genre here, but the more I read, the more I notice that most of the material is either just motivational or an over-complicated course on reframing. And if it’s neither of those, it’s usually downright delusional.

How to Win Friends and Influence People

One book that did help me though was How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. Many readers consider it a classic and most people have already heard of it, but if you’re struggling to find detailed advice about forming better relationships, this is a great place to start.

I’m the furthest thing from a social butterfly and I’ve never been good at making friends out of strangers, but this book helped me get an understanding of how to become a somewhat likable person.

The book includes actionable advice in every chapter. And there’s one principle that forms the basis of all the techniques described in the book—think of others before yourself.

So that’s all I got for reading now. I know it’s not much, but it’s better to keep the recommendations short so you can focus on actually reading.

And oh yeah, I’ll keep posting to this site too.

Embrace What Others Hate

I don’t know when it became cool to tout vacation as the best part of your work, but I do know it’s a terrible trend on the rise.

No one wants to work beyond what’s required. And even that requirement is too much for some.

But the truth is that production isn’t a burden. It’s a gift.

And you have to cherish work as the gift it is.

Even when I was down, part of me already knew that.

That’s why I was gaming so much back then. It was something that gave me a sense of purpose when everything else was dull. My reality was still in shambles but my effort to work at something helped carry me through it all.

When I first decided to refocus on my schoolwork though, I thought I needed to prove something—like I had to show everyone that the old me had come back. But soon enough, I realized it wasn’t about that at all…

I was doing it because it was fun.

I sat in the front of classes and took notes like it was my God-given duty. If I wasn’t in class, I studied in the library. And if there was a group project, I planned the whole thing out and showed the group later.

Soon I was not-so-subtly dancing in class because it all became so effortless. My classmates probably thought I was crazy—in fact, I know they did—but I finally had purpose in what I was doing. I had real enthusiasm again and people picked up on it.

That’s because most people run from work. They hate it.

If you find a way to not just be good at what you do, but actually enjoy it, depression will be a thing of the past.

Keep Your Thoughts on a Leash

If you don’t get anything outta this post, at least pay attention here.

Every section in this guide—and the process of beating depression in general—revolves around controlling your thoughts.

You may need to change your view of the mind for that to happen, so think about it this way:

For all the dog owners out there, do you let your dog mindlessly bark at you for as long as it wants?

Of course not.

Yeah you love your dog, but you have to discipline it. Good masters make their pets act within certain boundaries of behavior. And you have to treat your thoughts the same way.

You can’t let your head fill with blatant negativity. It’s your mind. You have to control it and make it work the way you want.

This whole guide is meant to teach you how to discipline your thought process. And once you recognize which thought patterns lead you towards a depressed mood, you have to shut them out.

I know it sounds difficult now, but those bodybuilders you see on magazine covers didn’t get that way overnight. Their form came from hours of sweat and hours of focus. It was the furthest thing from easy.

The same is true for mental strength. You have to consistently train your mind to think in beneficial ways.

And from what I’ve seen, you’re more than capable of doing that. People who are prone to depression tend to have the potential to develop the strongest minds. You just haven’t learned to control the amazing gift you have.

Yes, I know clinical depression is real and I’m not here to argue against that. I encourage you to see a professional if you need to, but I do know that it’s possible to control your thoughts. And yeah, that may make me sound ignorant, but I don’t claim to be a doctor, I’m just a problem solver.

If you think your thoughts are something you can’t control, you’ve already limited your ability to change.

I didn’t limit myself. No matter how hard things got, I knew there was a way out. And I kept fighting until I got there.

I challenge you to do the same.

Think bigger than your circumstances. Learn to control your thoughts. Don’t waste years of your life being an empty shell.

Your mind can only go where you allow it, so go out there and take it back.

I can’t wait to hear your victory story.

-Drew

#recovery

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the-desolated-quill · 5 years ago

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Why Spider-Man Leaving The MCU Is The Best News I’ve Heard In Ages - Quill’s Scribbles

Oh frabjous day! Callooh! Callay! Did you hear the news? I’d be surprised if you didn’t. EVERYONE has heard the news by now. A couple of days ago it was reported that the deal between Marvel and Sony that allowed the two studios to share custody for the rights of Spider-Man has fallen through. Spider-Man is no longer going to be part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

Speaking as someone who is not only a big Spider-Man fan, but also a very vocal critic of the current state of Marvel and Disney’s cynical and convoluted ‘shared universe’, this caused quite a reaction when I first heard the news. I’m as happy as a man who just found out his high school crush likes him back on the same day he won the lottery. Happy, but not surprised. In fact I’m more surprised that other people were surprised by the news. The deal Marvel and Sony managed to strike was almost unheard of. Two rival movie studios in mutual cooperation. Never thought I’d see the day. But if you thought this was going to be the new norm, then I’m afraid you don’t understand this industry. I knew, or at least suspected, that once Sony had a hit on their hands, they’d cut ties with Marvel and Disney. It was only a matter of time. Now that Spider-Man: Far From Home has made over a billion dollars at the box office and now they have found success with their own non-MCU films, Venom and Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse, the simple fact of the matter is they don’t need Marvel or Disney anymore. So they’ve flown the coop. Yes it’s possible they could renegotiate the deal, but given how unlikely the prospect of the initial deal was in the first place, I wouldn’t hold my breath if I were you. It’s more likely they’re going to take their ball and go home. Sony’s Universe Of Marvel Characters (despite its incredibly clunky name) is now going to be firmly built upon and expanded, and I for one could not be more excited.

Of course not everyone shares my excitement. Disney, for one thing, aren’t happy. Nor are the cast. Jeremy Renner has made his views clear, begging Sony to give the rights to Spidey back. (Perhaps he should focus more on his own character Hawkeye, considering what a mess he’s become). Die hard MCU fans aren’t pleased neither. Same goes for ‘celebrity’ fans like Kevin Smith, a filmmaker who preferred to be called a comic book expert on the Venom Blu-Ray bonus features presumably because he hasn’t actually been relevant as a filmmaker since the 90s. (it’s worth reading his thoughts just for a laugh. He honestly thinks Disney aren’t greedy, corporate bastards. ROFL). And of course the so-called ‘professional’ critics, who for years have deluded themselves into thinking the MCU is actually good, have been writing their own little think pieces about what all this means. Can Spider-Man possibly survive without Iron Man and pals to prop him up? To which the answer is obviously yes. Sony had the rights to Spidey for fourteen years before the Marvel deal. They made five Spider-Man movies, four of which were massive box office successes. They also released Venom and Spider-Verse last year. Both hugely successful and the latter even won an Oscar, which is one more Oscar than Marvel Studios have ever won (sorry Black Panther. You were robbed).Can Spider-Man survive outside the MCU? Gee I don’t know. I guess somehow Sony will find the strength to soldier on without them.

Although, that being said, there’s not as many journalists siding with Disney as I thought there would be. There are quite a few articles explaining how this split could help Spidey in the long run, which is both absolutely true and refreshing to see. Hopefully this is a sign that we’re finally turning a corner and critics are starting to use their brains again. Like how everyone worshipped the ground Steven Moffat walked on until Sherlock Series 4 where everyone realised that he’s actually shit and has always been shit.

Spider-Man leaving the MCU is the best thing you could do for the character at this stage. The way he’s been treated since joining the Marvel clusterfuck has been nothing short of appalling. I’ve made it no secret how much I detest this version of Spider-Man and some might dismiss what I’m about to say out of hand, perhaps claiming I’m biased because I’ve said numerous times that I love The Amazing Spider-Man films starring Andrew Garfield. Two films I will go to my grave defending because they were bloody good movies. People were just butt hurt because it wasn’t Spider-Man 4. Never mind the fact that the original Sam Raimi films were never that good to begin with (seriously, have any of you actually watched Spider-Man 2 recently? Trust me. It’s not as good as you remember it). No, I promise you that if MCU Spidey existed in a vacuum, I would still hate him just as much for the simple reason that he has absolutely nothing in common with the source material. Under the watchful, Orwellian eye of Marvel, they took Spider-Man, a character most famous for being a working class everyman, and turned him into the most spoilt and privileged little bum-balloon I’ve ever seen.

Spider-Man: Homecoming was a terrible movie. Plain and simple. A cynically produced, written by committee, pile of wank that gets so much of Spidey’s character and story completely wrong, it’s almost impressive. No longer a teenager/young adult struggling to balance his superhero life, his school work, his career and his social life, instead we got a groomed Mary Sue who doesn’t have to fight for anything because everything is basically handed to him on a silver platter courtesy of Iron Man. We never see him struggle. He’s not relatable. He never has to face consequences for his actions. He misses God knows how many classes and debate group meetings and yet he never gets punished for it. Sure he gets sent to detention a couple of times, but we see him leave whenever he bloody wants to. It’s just boring. If there’s no struggle, where’s the tension? And the less said about the villain, the better. Taking an eccentric antagonist like the Vulture and turning him into the stereotypical blue collar dad trying to provide for his family has got to be one of the most uninspired and blatantly lazy bits of characterisation I think I’ve ever seen. And that’s not to mention the supporting cast. Aunt May is youthed for no reason other than to make sexist jokes at her expense with every man that comes within her general vicinity staring at her with their tongues hanging out and eyes as large as saucepans. Minor villains like Shocker and the Tinkerer have their characters reduced to unfunny comedy sidekicks. And then there’s Peter Parker’s gang of racial stereotypes. We have Peter’s best friend, the fat and nerdy Ned who has no real personality other than being fat and nerdy (and is without a doubt the most annoying character in the damn film). Flash has been racebent so now he’s the stereotypical arrogant Asian prick. Michelle has no character other than being the same sassy black teenager who don’t give a shit, a caricature so old now it’s practically been fossilised. And then there’s the love interest Liz, a character so bland and one dimensional that I had to look her name up. Oh and lets not forget that the majority of this Spider-Man’s story was nicked from Miles Morales because people are only going to empathise with his story if it revolves around a white kid, am I right?

You know, I get so frustrated whenever people slag off the Amazing Spider-Man movies and claim that these new movies are better because... well... WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! I’m sorry, but I was much more invested with Peter and Gwen than I ever was with Peter and... what’s her face? Or Peter and Michelle (who I categorically refuse to call MJ because she’s not MJ, is she? They just used the initials to pander to gullible fans. They didn’t have the guts to just make Mary Jane Watson black, did they? Of course not! We don’t want to alienate the casual racists, do we? They’re our main demographic after all). The reason why Peter and Gwen worked is because they’re well-written, three dimensional characters with great chemistry and whom we actually spend a significant amount of time getting to know. So when Gwen dies at the end of The Amazing Spider-Man 2, it becomes a heart wrenching moment because we’ve grown invested in this character and this relationship. If Michelle were to die in a future movie, I honestly wouldn’t bat a fucking eyelid. Even Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst had more chemistry than those two, and that relationship was a total shambles from start to finish.

It also helps that Peter and Gwen felt like real people. I loved the scene in the first movie where Peter awkwardly asks her out because it reminded me so much of how I asked my first girlfriend out. And that’s why I love the Amazing Spider-Man movies. Because out of all the Spidey films we’ve had over the past 17 years, the Amazing ones are the only ones in my opinion that manage to capture the humanity of the character. As fantastical as the world is, the characters, their relationships and their dilemmas are grounded firmly in reality. Homecoming on the other hand is just embarrassing. Despite casting teenage actors, none of the teenagers actually act like teenagers. They act like five year olds. It’s painfully obvious that the filmmakers are trying to pander to young kids and they clearly don’t know how to write them. Again, this is where the Amazing movies stands head and shoulders above the others. They’re not treated like kids or teenagers. They’re treated like people. Real people. Same goes for the villains. (Yes, even Electro, despite wonky execution).

But the main criticism people have with MCU Spidey is that these films aren’t actually about Spidey. They’re really about the MCU mascot Iron Man.

Now to be clear, I don’t necessarily have a problem with the idea of Iron Man being a surrogate father figure to Spidey. It could work. Captain America: Civil War, despite the clunky and contrived way in which Spidey was introduced to the MCU (oh you just happened to know about a masked vigilante we haven’t seen or heard of until now Tony? Okay. What about Daredevil and Luke Cage?... What do you mean they’re not in the movie?), did a good job of setting up the dynamic. Namely that Tony doesn’t actually care about Peter or his well being, merely using him for his own ends. Unless Americans have some kind of ‘Bring Your Child To A Warzone Day’ I don’t know about.

Despite its flaws, Civil War was good because it gave us an unsettling look at the characters we’ve been watching for years. We see Captain America consumed by his own naivety and idealism to the point where he can no longer see the bigger picture and we see Iron Man go from being an industrial capitalist to an authoritarian fascist. Homecoming could have followed up on that. Have Spidey realise that Tony doesn’t have his best interests at heart, reject him as a father figure and grow into his own man. Instead the movie seems to go out of its way to undo all the interesting things Civil War brought to the table. Of course Tony cares about Peter! Oh and his relationship problems with Pepper Potts have been magically fixed off screen and now they’re getting married! Relax people, it’s okay! Nothing morally complicated going on here! We apologise for assuming you’re actually intelligent and promise never to make you think about anything ever again!

Not only is this quite insulting to the audience, it also negatively impacts Spidey’s arc. Turns out the movie isn’t about Spider-Man becoming his own man. It’s about him proving he can be an Avenger. He’s constantly in the shadow of Iron Man and, more to the point, we’re supposed to be happy that he’s in the shadow of Iron Man.

Again, this is where the Amazing Spider-Man gets it right. The first movie is very much about father figures. Uncle Ben, Curt Connors and Gwen’s dad all play a role in Peter’s growth and development over the course of the film. He’s able to take all the lessons and advice he gets from the three and use them to become his own man. As director Marc Webb so eloquently put it, ‘it’s a story about a kid who grows up looking for his father and finds himself.’ Compare that to the current iteration of Spidey where Uncle Ben doesn’t even appear to exist in this continuity because he’s been completely supplanted by Iron Dad. Remind me again why people think the Amazing movies are shit?

The latest film, Spider-Man: Far From Home, is no better. Same problems as before only this time Mysterio gets MCU’d to death. Instead of the pathetic loser trying desperately to receive recognition for his talents, we basically get a rehash of the plot from Iron Man 3, which in turn was a rehash of the plot from The Incredibles. Mysterio is basically trying to supplant Iron Man because he got screwed over when he used to work for Stark, and it’s up to everyone’s favourite wall-crawler to stop him because there’s only room in this universe for one Iron Boy. Even when Iron Man is dead, he’s still front and centre of the fucking narrative. Here’s a bright idea. How about we make a Spider-Man film that’s actually, you know, about Spider-Man? (Oh yeah, spoiler alert, Iron Man dies in Avengers: Endgame. Not that it’s really spoiling anything because Endgame is a big piece of shit).

Here’s the thing. Everyone is blaming Sony for the deal breaking down, and okay, I’m not going to pretend that Sony aren’t cynical. As much as I love The Amazing Spider-Man movies, I’m well aware the only reason they exist is because Sony desperately wanted to keep the rights. They spent a stupid amount of money on The Amazing Spider-Man 2 to the point where it needed to make a billion dollars at the box office in order to make a decent profit (a feat only achieved at that time by Batman with The Dark Knight and The Dark Knight Rises) and they crammed loads of characters and plot points into an already overstuffed movie in order to rush out their own shared universe to compete with Marvel. When that didn’t work, they went crawling to Marvel and Disney in the hopes that the MCU could bail them out of the shit. I get it. There’s plenty to criticise. But for the likes of Kevin Smith and other idiots to only blame Sony and defend Marvel is really quite galling to me because Marvel and Disney are just as cynical, if not more so.

Does anyone here actually know what the deal was? Basically the agreement was that Kevin Feige would get lead producer credit for any solo Spider-Man films and Marvel and Disney would get five percent of the cut. Meanwhile Spider-Man would be allowed to appear in any MCU film. Also, because Sony still hold the rights to the character, they get the final say on any creative decision regarding Spider-Man. Or at least that’s the theory anyway. In reality that wasn’t the case. Reportedly Marvel and Disney were so anal about keeping the plot of Avengers: Endgame a secret that they didn’t tell the screenwriters of Spider-Man: Far From Home what happens in the bloody film. And considering that the film follows directly on from Endgame, that’s quite a problem. Sony may have creative control over Spider-Man, but Marvel and Disney can still call the shots, deliberately sabotaging Sony in order to boost hype for their own films. Also Sony are actually worse off in this deal because Marvel and Disney are the ones making all the money. Spider-Man has appeared in three MCU films. Captain America: Civil War, Avengers: Infinity War and Avengers: Endgame. All three of these films made Marvel and Disney over a billion dollars at the box office. Sony meanwhile have only made two Spidey movies, Homecoming and Far From Home, only one of which has made over a billion and both of which Marvel and Disney get five percent of the profit. Now that Sony have finally got their billion dollar Spider-Man movie, Marvel and Disney had the cheek to propose that Sony share fifty percent of the profits with them. Because it’s not enough for Marvel and Disney to be making shit tons of money off their own films. No. They also want as much money as they can get out of films made by other studios that are only tangentially related to their’s. God forbid a movie studio should be allowed to keep all the profits from their movie.

So yeah, I’m glad Sony have split and are free to make their own movies again. Because Disney have got such a strangle hold on the entire industry that I’m always happy to see any studio or IP slip through their fingers. And I’m not the only one who thinks this. Do you know who else agrees with me? Stan Lee’s own daughter.

In an interview with TMZ, Joan Lee slammed Disney for their lack of compassion when her father passed away:

“When my father died, no one from Marvel or Disney reached out to me. From day one, they have commoditised my father’s work and never shown him or his legacy any respect or decency. In the end, no one could have treated my father worse than Marvel and Disney’s executives.”

She then went on to support Sony’s decision to break the deal with Marvel, saying ‘whether it’s Sony or someone else’s, the continued evolution of Stan’s characters and his legacy deserves multiple points of view.’

And do you know what? She’s right. She’s absolutely right.

While people were celebrating when Disney bought 20th Century Fox because the X-Men and Fantastic Four were finally going to be part of their precious shared universe, I was watching in absolute horror because nobody was actually talking about the ramifications of this. Disney serves as a cautionary tale of what happens when capitalism goes unchecked. Seeing this mega-corporation consume and absorb other major studios like some Lovecraftian monster is both frightening and heartbreaking for me because the industry is going to be so much lesser for it. Less studios means less movies are going to be produced. It also means less variety in the entertainment we consume. Marvel and Disney have already done their utmost to homogenise and dumb down every MCU film to the point where most of them all feel the same, look the same and have nothing unique or creative about them whatsoever. And now we’re on the cusp of seeing that potentially happening to my most favourite superhero in the whole wide world:

Thanks to the Disney buyout, plans for X-Force and Deadpool 3 have been placed on indefinite hold with people reckoning we won’t see the Merc with the Mouth again until Phase 5 (Christ, give me strength) of the MCU so that Marvel and Disney can work out exactly how to fit him into their shared universe. Naturally the R rated nature of the character makes him difficult to integrate into the PG-13 MCU. Some have suggested toning down the character. Even David Leitch, the director of Deadpool 2, said they could make a PG-13 version of the character, which just feels like such a massive betrayal. After literally years of Ryan Reynolds, director Tim Miller, screenwriters Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick, and the fans fighting tooth and claw to get an R rated Deadpool movie green-lit, it sickens me whenever I see people discussing how a PG-13 Deadpool wouldn’t be so bad and that they just want to see him pop up in an Avengers movie.

Here’s a suggestion. If you can’t make someone like Deadpool fit into the MCU, STOP TRYING TO FUCKING DO IT! Let him be his own separate thing! I’ve got no problem with that! But no. Everything has to be connected to this idiotic shared universe, but here’s the thing, I really don’t fucking care. I couldn’t give two shits if Deadpool and Captain America were to meet in a movie. I just want to see X-Force and Deadpool 3. I just want some good fucking movies. Is that really too much to ask?

The MCU, and by extension Disney, are slowly ruining the industry with this shared universe crap and I’m getting so bloody sick of this. Not only does the premise have absolutely nothing new to offer at this point, it’s also ruining the quality of standalone movies. Instead of telling compelling stories with likeable characters, they’re just adverts for more movies to come with nothing unique to offer. Oooooh, can the Avengers stop Thanos and unkill everyone who we know aren’t really dead because they all have fucking sequels planned? Tune in next week to confirm what you already bloody know! I don’t give a fuck what you’ve got planned for me down the road in ten or fifteen movies time. Right now I’m stuck here at a service station and I’ve got no fucking sandwiches.

Off the top of my head, the only MCU films I can think of that I’ve watched in recent memory and I’ve actually enjoyed are Captain America: Civil War and Black Panther. And do you know why? Because they actually have something to say. They’re not focused on teasing the next bullshit spinoff movie. Black Panther in particular has little to no connection with the rest of the MCU. It works as its own standalone piece and has its own unique voice, commenting on how black people are viewed in society. Civil War takes elements from previous films and goes in an entirely new direction with them, exploring the faults in our beloved Avengers and questioning their role as superheroes. It offers something beyond a tease for the next film. It poses thought provoking questions about the characters and forces us to confront some harsh truths about them. But in an environment like the MCU, where everything is pre-planned by committee, there’s no room for creativity or expression, which means the few good movies get stifled. It’s impossible to continue the themes of Civil War because Homecoming exists to contradict everything. Black Panther is an amazing and impactful movie, but its impact is lessened thanks to Infinity War where we see the Wakandans reduced to little more than cannon fodder so that the real heroes can fight the baddie.

It’s frustrating to see people blindly accept and support the poisonous business model of Marvel and Disney because it’s not normal, it’s not benefiting the industry at large and it’s not even financially viable in the long term. Marvel Studios’ success revolves around one franchise. What happens when the shared universe/comic book movie bubble bursts and people eventually stop watching these films? (and it will happen because it always happens. That’s how trends work). They’re going to be up shit street, aren’t they? At least Warner Bros have Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings to fall back on. Their future isn’t entirely dependant on the success of the DCEU (thank God, some might say).

Also it’s worth noting that studios are slowly starting to move away from the shared universe format. Before the buyout, 20th Century Fox were taking risks with smaller budget, standalone movies like Deadpool and Logan. After the disaster that was Justice League, Warner Bros and DC have recently started focusing more on standalone movies to great success. Aquaman and Shazam, while still part of the DCEU, work as their own independent films. We’ve also got Joker being released in a couple of months time, which I think everyone should be paying really close attention to, because if Joker is critically and commercially successful, it could very well serve as the death knell for the concept of a shared universe. Definitive proof that you don’t need twenty movies and interconnecting stories with massive budgets to be successful. All you need is a very good idea.

Even Sony have finally learnt their lesson. They’ve taken a risk with Into The Spider-Verse and received an Academy Award for their trouble. As for Sony’s Universe Of Marvel Characters, they’re already off to a strong start with Venom. And mercifully they’re not making the same mistakes they did with the Amazing Spider-Man 2 or Ghostbusters. They’re not spending ridiculous amounts of money with unrealistic expectations of success and they’re no longer putting the cart way before the horse. They’re focusing on making a good movie first and worrying about potential expansion later. Venom may not be a masterpiece, but it’s a hell of a lot more entertaining and fulfilling than the majority of MCU films because it tells a complete story with a beginning, middle and end and it has well developed characters that we actually like and grow attached to. And if worst comes to the worst and Sony’s next film, Morbius, doesn’t do well, then they have Venom 2 to fall back on. And if that doesn’t work, they’ll still have Spider-Verse. They are no longer putting all their eggs in one basket and that’s good. That’s the smart thing to do.

Can you imagine something like Venom in the MCU? Of course not! Because Venom has its own unique tone and vision. That’s why it was so successful with audiences. Its mix of dark comedy and campy sci-fi horror made it stand out from the crowd. Marvel and Disney want us to believe that there’s only one way to make a superhero movie, when that’s simply not true. And now that Spider-Man is free to find his own unique voice again, hopefully people will begin to see just how creatively limiting and damaging the MCU truly is.

#spider-man #sony #anti marvel #anti disney #quill's scribbles

244 notes · View notes

mostlysignssomeportents · 5 years ago

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Pluralistic: 01 Mar 2020 (Make Mordor great again, N95 Mask of the Red Death, Medicare for All with Covid, Necessity Defense)

Today's links

Trump's rhetoric fits eerily well into the Tolkien canon: AR Moxon makes Mordor great again.

The wealthy are chartering jets to avoid coronavirus: The Masque of the Red Death takes to the skies.

The US already has Medicare for All: The day that Trump declares a national health emergency.

America's uninsured will turn a covid crisis into a covid disaster: Our shared microbial destiny cannot be denied.

Jury refuses to convict Extinction Rebellion activists: Long live the "necessity defense" and the human race it protects.

This day in history: 2005, 2010, 2015, 2019

Colophon: Recent publications, current writing projects, upcoming appearances, current reading

Trump's rhetoric fits eerily well into the Tolkien canon (permalink)

AR Moxon's satirical riff on how Trump would play as a Tolkien villain is not only hilarious, it's also exactly the kind of thing the Tolkien estate used to threaten to sue people over.

https://twitter.com/JuliusGoat/status/1233207274992263168?s=19

(which is why Pat Murphy's astoundingly great genderswapped retelling of The Hobbit, "There and Back Again," is no longer in print.)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/There_and_Back_Again_(novel)

Especially good is how Moxon digs into the way that Tolkien's concept of "races" was uncomfortably close to "racism" (especially orcs, who, honestly, have no conceivable basis for subsisting as a species, let alone a society).

https://twitter.com/JuliusGoat/status/1233682097463873536

"While I was here, this orc came up —a big guy, very tough, like out of central casting, handsome, could've been a fighting Uruk-hai—and he's crying, weeping, he says 'sir, thank you for the meat.' Incredible. He hadn't had nothing but maggoty bread for three stinking days."

Other Trumpland rhetoric fits in eerily well. Just like Murphy, Moxon claims Hobbits: "We have Hobbits coming in folks, and they're smoking the pipe-weed, and eating second breakfasts, third breakfasts, your breakfasts, your children's breakfasts."

https://twitter.com/JuliusGoat/status/1233221682309083137

And just as with Murphy, Moxon's satire is full of deep, Silmarillion cuts that demonstrate that his work is coming from a place of deep, if conflicted, affection.

https://twitter.com/JuliusGoat/status/1233328631734206475

"Fëanor, son of Finwë, King of the Noldor, is an example of somebody who's done an amazing job and is being recognized more and more. We all appreciate his contributions, and we're looking into him, and we're looking very strongly. Nobody was talking about him before me."

(Image: Cornel Zueger, CC BY-SA)

The wealthy are chartering jets to avoid coronavirus (permalink)

Plutes are chartering private jets in the hopes of avoiding #coronavirus, assuming that if they only fly in fart-tubes that other wealthy people have farted in, they won't get sick.

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2020-02-29/wealthy-jump-to-private-jets-to-duck-airlines-and-cut-virus-risk

To make this pay, you really need to fill that Gulfstream. NYC-London is $140k for a 12-seater — flying those 12 buttery soft asses from JFK to Heathrow in BA First will run you $120K.

So you're basically assuming that if you use the plute-only terminal at LAX (whose management company once threatened to sue me for criticizing it in print!), and LHR (originally royals-only, now open to any oligarch), you'll avoid covid. Presumably because the Better People have Better Masks and the Luxury Decontam Wipes and that will keep the bad stuff at bay. Nevermind that we're finding covid in people who've been in psych ward lockdown for TEN YEARS.

https://twitter.com/AskAKorean/status/1233046896719126533

Elite Panic is definitely a killer. I mean, people have been pointing this out since Poe wrote "Masque of the Red Death" in 1842. You can't shoot germs.

https://www.poemuseum.org/the-masque-of-the-red-death

Humanity has a shared microbial destiny. Crises get resolved by people running TOWARD the problem, not cowering in luxury bunkers while better people do the work. This is the point of my own take on "Masque."

https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250242334

Public health crises show that reality has a well-known collectivist bias, and this challenges right wing orthodoxy, which is why the right has only two responses to epidemiology: "It's a hoax" and (later) "Exterminate the dirty poors!"

"The Reactionary Mind," Corey Robin's magnificent 2011 book (updated 2017), traces the history of right-wing thought to find the factor that unites Dominionists, imperialists, white nationalists, libertarians and other strains of right-wing thought.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Reactionary_Mind

Robin's conclusion: the thing that unites these different strains is a belief that humanity is naturally arrayed in hierarchies, with some people simply born better than the rest of us, and the world is best when the best people are in charge. It's an idea as old as Plato's Republic. Dominionists want Christian men in charge of women and children. Racists want white people in charge of racialized people. Libertarians want bosses in charge of workers. Imperialists want America in charge of the world.

It explains why right-wing movements hang together (because they all agree that the "wrong people" are running things) and why they splinter (once they take power, they can't agree who the "right people" are).

This "divine right of kings/bosses/America/whites/men/Christians" philosophy is coterminal with the idea of the natural leaders having special stuff that makes them better: just as the touch of a king will heal leprosy, so too can you expect that a plute won't have covid. It's wrong, of course — lethally so.

The US already has Medicare for All (permalink)

Did you know the US already has "Medicare for All"? But only under very specific circumstances: under the National Disaster Medical System, if the President declares a public health emergency, the federal government steps in to pay all out-of-pockets.

https://www.phe.gov/Preparedness/responders/ndms/definitive-care/Pages/coverage-guidelines.aspx

Any medically necessary service which is authorized for reimbursement as long as the patient sustained:

Injuries or illnesses resulting directly from a specified public health emergency;"

("If you have covid symptoms, you're covered")

Injuries, illnesses and conditions requiring medical services necessary to maintain a reasonable level of health temporarily not available as a result of the health emergency

("if you have any other problem and can't get treatment due to covid chaos, you're covered")

As Carlos Mucha points out, Trump declaring a national health emergency would create "Medicare for All with Covid-19," which could easily become just plain Medicare for All, "as surely as the UK's Emergency Hospital Service morphed into the NHS."

America's uninsured will turn a covid crisis into a covid disaster (permalink)

The last time Carl Gibson saw a doctor was 2013, when an arm-sling and an Rx for painkillers ran him $4000, creating a permanent blot on his credit report. He hasn't been since.

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2020/feb/28/coronavirus-millions-of-americans-uninsured

He's not alone. 44% of Americans do not see doctors despite medical necessity, because of cost. About a third of Americans do not fill their prescriptions because they can't afford them.

27.5m Americans don't have health insurance, thanks to a mix of Republican state-houses blocking Medicare expansion and Obamacare's intrinsic shortcomings, which invite price-gouging and under-coverage from America's sociopathic health-insurance industry.

This is terrible under the best of circumstances, but it's the thing that turns a coronavirus emergency into a coronavirus catastrophe. Because Carl Gibson is sneezing into the same air you're breathing.

("All the common people breathing filthy air" -The Pointer Sisters)

Trump's Health and Human Services Secretary, Alex Azar, is a former pharma lobbyist who has ruled out price controls for a Covid-19 vaccine.

https://pluralistic.net/2020/02/27/pluralistic-your-daily-link-dose-27-feb-2020/#pandemiccapitalism

And Nancy Pelosi has said that treatment must be "affordable" – not free. What's "affordable" when 61% of Americans don't even have $1,000 saved to cover a medical emergency?

It's hardly a novel observation to say that we have a shared microbial destiny: "The King will reply, 'Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.'"

https://www.cnbc.com/2018/01/18/few-americans-have-enough-savings-to-cover-a-1000-emergency.html

Jury refuses to convict Extinction Rebellion activists (permalink)

An Oregon jury has refused to convict a group of climate activists who blocked a rail line that Zenith Energy used to transport tar sands crude. The Extinction Rebellion activists presented a "necessity defense" for their actions.

https://www.commondreams.org/news/2020/02/28/landmark-win-fight-habitable-future-jury-refuses-convict-climate-activists-who

The activists were charged with trespassing for planting a "victory garden" that blocked the track. There was video. 5 of 6 jurors decided that maintaining the habitability of the only planet in the known universe capable of sustaining human life justified the action.

"We need to take note of the lessons learned by the labor movement—mass civil disobedience works. The climate crisis is a workers' issue, we need to unite to shut down business as usual. Right now." -Margaret Butler

The result was a mistrial, and now the local prosecutors have to decide whether to haul the activists back into court again.

This day in history (permalink)

#15yrsago Deluded Sony music exec can't read his own study https://constitutionalcode.blogspot.com/2005/02/us-market-not-antagonistic-towards-drm.html

#15yrsago Euro software patents reanimated through corrupt officials 0wned by Microsoft https://yro.slashdot.org/story/05/02/28/2223232/eu-commission-declines-patent-debate-restart

#15yrsago Comp sci profs smackdown the movie studios https://web.archive.org/web/20050303023425/http://www.freedom-to-tinker.com/archives/000776.html

#10yrsago Architectural fan-drawings of classic sitcom houses http://origin.www.markmoorefineart.com/artists/mark-bennett

#10yrsago Petition to make "Hella" the prefix for 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 https://www.facebook.com/The-Official-Petition-to-Establish-Hella-as-the-SI-Prefix-for-1027-277479937276/

#10yrsago Cyberwar hype was cooked up to sell Internet-breaking garbage to the military https://www.wired.com/2010/03/cyber-war-hype/

#5yrsago North Korean defectors undermine totalitarianism with smuggled pirate sitcoms https://www.wired.com/2015/03/north-korea/

#1yrago Oakland teachers' union declares total victory after seven-day strike https://oaklandea.org/updates/oea-reaches-tentative-agreement-with-ousd/

#1yrago German Data Privacy Commissioner warns at new Copyright Directive will increase the tech oligopoly, make EU companies dependent on US filter vendors, and subject Europeans to surveillance by US companies https://torrentfreak.com/german-data-privacy-commissioner-sounds-alarm-over-upload-filter-oligopoly-190301/

#1yrago University of California system libraries break off negotiations with Elsevier, will no longer order their journals https://www.sciencemag.org/news/2019/02/university-california-boycotts-publishing-giant-elsevier-over-journal-costs-and-open

#1yrago Satanic Panic 2.0: The Momo Challenge hoax https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2019/02/momo-challenge-hoax/583825/

#1yrago Striking West Virginia teachers won swift and decisive victory; Oakland next? https://www.commondreams.org/views/2019/02/28/rapid-victory-west-virginia-teacher-strike-shows-what-happens-when-progressives

Colophon (permalink)

Today's top sources: Naked Capitalism (https://nakedcapitalism.com/)

Hugo nominators! My story "Unauthorized Bread" is eligible in the Novella category and you can read it free on Ars Technica: https://arstechnica.com/gaming/2020/01/unauthorized-bread-a-near-future-tale-of-refugees-and-sinister-iot-appliances/

Upcoming appearances:

Canada Reads Kelowna: March 5, 6PM, Kelowna Library, 1380 Ellis Street, with CBC's Sarah Penton https://www.eventbrite.ca/e/cbc-radio-presents-in-conversation-with-cory-doctorow-tickets-96154415445

Currently writing: I just finished a short story, "The Canadian Miracle," for MIT Tech Review. It's a story set in the world of my next novel, "The Lost Cause," a post-GND novel about truth and reconciliation. I'm getting geared up to start work on the novel now, though the timing is going to depend on another pending commission (I've been solicited by an NGO) to write a short story set in the world's prehistory.

Currently reading: Just started Lauren Beukes's forthcoming Afterland: it's Y the Last Man plus plus, and two chapters in, it's amazeballs. Last month, I finished Andrea Bernstein's "American Oligarchs"; it's a magnificent history of the Kushner and Trump families, showing how they cheated, stole and lied their way into power. I'm getting really into Anna Weiner's memoir about tech, "Uncanny Valley." I just loaded Matt Stoller's "Goliath" onto my underwater MP3 player and I'm listening to it as I swim laps.

Latest podcast: Gopher: When Adversarial Interoperability Burrowed Under the Gatekeepers' Fortresses: https://craphound.com/podcast/2020/02/24/gopher-when-adversarial-interoperability-burrowed-under-the-gatekeepers-fortresses/

Upcoming books: "Poesy the Monster Slayer" (Jul 2020), a picture book about monsters, bedtime, gender, and kicking ass. Pre-order here: https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781626723627?utm_source=socialmedia&utm_medium=socialpost&utm_term=na-poesycorypreorder&utm_content=na-preorder-buynow&utm_campaign=9781626723627

(we're having a launch for it in Burbank on July 11 at Dark Delicacies and you can get me AND Poesy to sign it and Dark Del will ship it to the monster kids in your life in time for the release date).

"Attack Surface": The third Little Brother book, Oct 20, 2020.

"Little Brother/Homeland": A reissue omnibus edition with a very special, s00per s33kr1t intro.

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