#it’s probably because i’m a traumatized orphan

[perfectlysunny02]

“And you trust that?”

“Me and Hondo? A 100%”

I KNOW THATS RIGHT.

[goldenraeofsun]

got a bone to pick

“I can’t believe you,” Lois seethes as she slams the door behind her, her chandelier earrings quivering. 

Clark sighs. “It’s really not that big of a deal.”

Lois whirls around. “It is!” she pokes him, hard, in the chest, right below his lopsided, droopy bow tie. “You are a damn good reporter, and I will punch anyone who says otherwise right in the face.”

Clark’s shoulders slump even further, which Lois didn’t know was even possible. “I know. You nearly did.”

“You shouldn’t have held me back!”

“Lois,” Clark says patiently, “it was a fundraiser for Metropolis’ group homes. I couldn’t let you start a fight in front of literal children.”

“Oh, gimme a break. They’re orphans. They’ve definitely seen worse.”

Clark exhales a deep breath. “And why would I possibly let you add to their trauma?”

“To defend yourself! To defend your reputation!” Lois fumes as she stalks past him to yank open his refrigerator door. The chilled air wafts over her, but it does nothing to cool her burning rage. She skips the vegetables, jars of condiments, her favorite white wine Clark buys when she stays over. 

Her stomach growls. The fundraiser, glitzy and full of glamor, was full of on-trend bite-sized canapes and entrees that consisted of three slices of perfectly seasoned beef, artfully shredded greens, and two orange wedges. Oh, she would kill for hamburger right now, assuming Clark was out of the picture since he’d probably stop her from doing that too.

She tosses a half-empty pizza box in the general direction of the counter. It lands with a thud. 

“My reputation is just fine, thanks,” Clark says evenly. “Yours, on the other hand…”

“Is also fine,” Lois says scathingly, “because you didn’t let me beat the crap outta him.”

Clark tugs his bow tie loose. “Have you ever heard the advice, ‘pick your battles wisely’?”

Jesus Christ, what the fuck is he doing, parroting fortune cookies at her? She viciously throws open the lid of the pizza box, snarling, “Everyone knows the correct answer is always, D) all of the above,” and grabs the largest slice left. 

Half the cold cheese stays stubbornly behind, attached to the rest of the pie. Fucking laws of inertia. 

Lips pressed tightly together like he’s trying not to burst out laughing, Clark leans over and gently eases a new slice free. The cold, congealed cheese stays in its perfect, pre-cut triangle shape. “This might be a metaphor,” he says as he swaps slices with her.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Lois huffs before she stuffs her mouth with pizza.

Clark sighs as he reaches over to surgically separate the extra cheese from the pie and reattach it to Lois’s first attempt. “I feel like you’ve also never heard the saying, ‘you catch more flies with honey than vinegar’.”

She rolls her eyes. “Heard it. Didn’t care for it.”

Clark chuckles. “I’m not surprised.” He takes a bite of pizza, chewing thoughtfully. “While I… appreciate the support, you don’t need to fight my battles for me.”

“Well, someone clearly does, if you’re not going to step up,” Lois retorts, elbows braced on the table, staring him down.

“I’m choosing not to engage,” Clark points out as Lois grimaces. “That’s still a strategic decision, and I need you to recognize that.” 

“Yeah, sure,” she grumbles. “But,” she hesitates, searching for the right words. “Why? The things he was saying about you… if he insinuated those things about my work, my ethics, I would’ve put him in the hospital. Fundraiser and traumatized orphans be damned.”

Clark sighs. “I can’t do that.”

“Sure you can,” Lois says. “I’ve seen those arms you hide under a billion layers, farm boy.”

Clark’s eyes narrow. “That’s exactly why, Lois.”

Lois purses her lips, and she won’t give Clark the satisfaction of saying she really has no fucking idea what he’s talking about. Still, something in her expression must give the game away.

Hesitantly, Clark starts, “I might not look it all the time, but I’m a pretty big guy.”

Lois smirks. “You get stuck in the revolving door every morning like clockwork, buddy. Believe me, I know.”

“So,” Clark plows on, ignoring her entirely truthful if not very nice aside, “if word spreads that I can and will throw my weight around when provoked, my sources will dry up faster than a full harvest during a heatwave.” 

“No, they won’t. Your sources know you,” Lois argues. “They know you’re a good guy. That you wouldn’t throw hands without a good reason,” she rolls her eyes, “unlike certain people in this apartment who will go unnamed.”

Lois almost never pokes fun at herself because it gives others license to do the same, but Clark (hardly ever) makes her the butt of the joke. When he tries, she gives twice as good as she gets. He has never let that stop him, though. Honestly, if he ever gives up ribbing her for good, she will assume he’d been replaced by an alien and will investigate accordingly. 

Clark smiles wryly. “And how many ‘nice guys’ have you really known that turned out to be not-so-nice behind closed doors or when things get a little tough?”

Lois opens her mouth because that argument is a moot point; Clark is practically the paragon of an old fashioned gentleman, minus the sexism and casual microaggressions. But she shuts her jaw with a snap as she mentally answers the question he actually asked with a firm, all of them. Every so-called “nice guy” she’s met has always turned out to have a hidden mean streak. Sometimes it came out with waiters on the third date. Other times it came out after she published a not-so-flattering but entirely factual quote that they said to her face.

Except Clark.

For fuck’s sake, two days ago, Clark apologized to her for the time she cried all over his favorite Smallville High sweatshirt after she bruised her toe kicking his wall. It’d just been one of those days – Superman nearly died saving them all in the morning from Metallo, Perry shot down all her best pitches for her next investigative piece, her AC broke at the hottest point in the day in the hottest week of the year, so she had to migrate to Clark’s place, but he was out running errands, so she waited in his dingy (non-air conditioned) lobby for 20 minutes, and then… she bruised her toe. 

“Okay, fine, but you’re not like that,” Lois counters, tilting her head pointedly at the foot-high dent in the plaster behind her.

“Come on.” Clark jabs his pizza crust accusingly at her. “You have to know how weak that argument is.”

Lois chews mulishly at him. Fuck Clark for being right. 

“Look, I’m not saying I’ll roll over for every Tom, Dick, or Harry –”

“You sure about that?”

Clark glares. “I am not a doormat, Lois.”

Lois’s head jerks up at the tone of his voice. “I’m not saying you –”

“I think you are,” Clark interrupts. He exhales a short, explosive breath, and for a flash, Lois sees that steel-like backbone she’s only read before in his articles. “Just because I’m not as showy with retaliation does not mean I am not incapable of it.”

“Really,” she says dubiously because if there’s anything Lois Lane is good at, it’s needling one Clark Kent. 

He throws her a look like he knows she’s goading him, and he is not falling for it; he is going along with it. “Remember Jay Harrison?”

Lois’s eyebrows rise. She hasn’t heard that name in two years, not after he sued The Planet for libel. Their investigative team, led by Clark, had published an expose on the fraud in his healthcare insurance company. The Planet won (barely), but they all had to tighten their belts for the rest of the year and cut their summer internship program to pay all the legal fees. 

“After – well after everything,” Clark starts awkwardly, “all he had left was the Liberty Building. And everyone knew it was practically crumbling in on himself, but he paid off all the building inspectors, so he got to keep it as collateral for all those loans.”

“Mm hm,” Lois nods along. So far, so boring. But Clark wouldn't be telling the story if it stayed that way.

Clark taps his chin, brow furrowing. “I think you were covering the Vincents’ murder-suicide at the time, but it was a quiet week in terms of giant robots and alien invasions, so I flagged down Superman -"

Lois's eyes nearly bug out of her head.

" - and asked him nicely to mention the Liberty Building in his upcoming speech about Metropolis’s Lead Removal and Compensation Commission. It was filled with the stuff, you know.”

Lois says, genuinely surprised, “You got Superman to help? I – I didn’t think you were that close to him.”

Clark shrugs. “I’ve written about him a fair bit.”

“Unwillingly,” she points out. Clark always complained the loudest when he got assigned Superman stories, in sharp contrast to Cat, who squealed at a pitch wholly unbefitting a woman her age with that much cleavage spilling out of her shirt. As if Superman could be swayed by a push up bra and strategically placed bronzer.

(Lois tried that her second week with zero results)

Clark rolls his eyes and folds his slice of pizza in half for easier eating. “He can be useful. At times.”

Lois yanks the slice right out of his hands and stuffs as much of it in her mouth as she can. “No pitha for Ooperman hatahs.”

“I just said he was useful!” Clark protests with a small smile as he steals the rest back.

Lois, preoccupied with not spraying the counter with masticated dough and sauce, lets it go with a glare.

Clark takes a large bite and swallows. “Anyway, the Commissioner of the Department of Buildings turned out to be a massive Superman fan. He could probably give you a run for your money, Lois –”

“Doubtful.”

“ – so he was more than happy to take Harrison’s money and condemn his building. What was Harrison going to do, sue him for breach of bribery?”

Lois whistles. “And that’s why we haven’t heard anything from Jay Harrison since.”

“He officially declared bankruptcy ten months ago,” Clark says matter-of-factly.

“Hang on, I think I did hear about that,” Lois says, the memory tugging at her. “He had to leave Metropolis, right?”

“Sold everything he owned,” Clark says with a satisfied nod. “And then I –” He coughs. “And, well, that was that.” He polishes off the rest of his pizza, a faint pink spreading across his cheeks.

Lois’s eyes narrow. “What were you going to say?”

“Nothing.”

“Nothing my ass, Smallville. Spit it out.”

Clark sighs. He leans both elbows on her counter, back bowing. “I’m not proud of it.”

Lois leans in, a shark-like grin tugging at her mouth. “Well, now you have to tell me.”

“I might’ve… stolenhisdog.”

“You what?” Lois splutters, loud, surprised laughter spilling from her lips. 

Clark hangs his head. “Harrison had no money, no property, was driven out of his city, but - but it was my first time directing the investigative team, and then he had to go and get us all tangled up in that awful court case when he could have ridden the bad press out. Instead, he dragged the entire Planet down with him.”

“So, you figured the only logical thing to do, when a man is down, is to steal his dog?” Lois asks, thoroughly amused.

Clark nods. “She was one of those fancy hypoallergenic ones. And just before he was about to leave town, Ma mentioned that the Cushings down the road were having a devil of a time finding a pet for Sophie, and, well…” He drifts off, clearly ashamed.

Lois leans back, surveying Clark in a whole new light. “You petty son of a bitch,” she breathes.

“Lois,” Clark pleads, now a deep shade of maroon.

“I don’t think I’ve ever liked you more, Kent,” she says smartly as she turns to open the refrigerator.

Clark scrubs his hand down his face. “I’m a terrible person.”

She brandishes the wine aloft and kicks off her heels. “Okay,” she says as she scurries around the counter to tug Clark off his seat. “You and me, we’re gonna have an old-fashioned sleepover. I’m gonna count that dognapping story as your truth.” She drags him in the direction of his bedroom, where she’s currently sleeping since he insisted on taking the couch.

“Lois,” he protests, even as his feet follow hers down the short hallway. “Aren’t we a bit old for sleepovers?”

She glances over her shoulder, making her violet eyes nice and big. “But, Clark, I’m an army brat. I never got a real sleepover growing up.”

He falters because he might say he’s some big bad reporter, but she can always play him like a fiddle. “I… fine.”

Lois punches him in the shoulder. “That’s the spirit. Now, how about a dare?”

Read Part III here!

Head back to Part I here!

[lixzey]

Letters

a/n: PLEASE READ WITH CAUTION ‼️‼️‼️ This has very detailed scenes which may not be suitable for everyone. The three letters will be the same, so heads up!

warnings: mentions of bullying, humiliation, name calling, implied claustrophobia, cancer leading to death, mentions of alcohol and possible drugging, implied sexual abuse and harrassment, victim blaming, slut shaming, implied post-traumatic stress disorder, trauma, etc

VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED !

Lots of thanks to @lilmaymayy for helping me out <3

word count: 3.5k

The Fifteenth Letter

Timothée sat in the waiting area, his hands pressed together as he watched the monitor for his flight to finally board. It was already close to midnight, and he had already been waiting for four hours. After failing to find any information on Y/n back at the old children’s home, Timothée felt like he was following a dead end. Sure, he wanted to find her so badly—to be the hero she desperately needed—but at this point, he was clinging onto false hope. He had only four letters left to read, which terrified him to the bone. What if there weren’t any clues left for him to find? 

Would this wild goose chase end in vain? A pathetic attempt at searching for a person who probably doesn’t want to be found. 

Or so he thought. 

Sighing, the young man pulled his carry-on bag onto his lap. In one swift motion, he unzipped it and fished inside for the letters. Pulling the remaining envelopes, he chuckled. They were crumpled but still readable nonetheless. After taking a deep breath, Timothée mustered up the courage to read the next one from the series.

August 23rd, 2023

Dear Timothée,

High school was NOT like the musical. 

Jesus, I was too fucking naive to even believe that a normal high school would be like that movie. 

I mean, sure, you had that high school musical experience at La Guardia, and based on the internet, you were loved by everyone in your school. Who wouldn’t? I’m pretty damn sure that you were that class clown that everyone couldn’t hate because your smile and laughter are infectious, and besides, those high school performances? THE ABSOLUTE BEST! I wish I had your confidence back in high school.

You might be asking, what was my high school life like? Let’s just say I was mostly invisible—what’s new, at this point? —and most of the time, I kept to myself. I didn’t have any friends, because let’s be real, who would want to be friends with a sad and depressed girl? I often ate lunch in the girls’ bathroom because I was never allowed at any table; basically, I was a target for bullies.

There was this one girl who absolutely fucking hated my guts. Her name was Kayleigh; she was the daughter of the principal. She wasn’t really the brightest bulb out of the bunch, since the only things she knew were bragging and bullying. I’m fairly certain that her mother probably threatened the whole school so that her daughter wouldn’t fail or anything.

That bitch of a girl made my high school days a living hell. And the fact that I was an orphan made it fucking worse.

It started when I accidentally tripped in the cafeteria and spilled my sloppy joe all over her. I didn’t mean it, obviously. Who would purposely trip themselves in a crowded cafeteria? Anyway, I apologized over and over again, but she wasn’t having it. Typical mean girl attitude, if you ask me. Apparently, I ruined her limited edition Chanel top or something like that—I can’t remember if it was really Chanel, or was it Gucci? Well, who cares? It’s just clothing. 

Not.

From that day on, she made it her personal mission to humiliate me every chance she got. God, who knew someone could hold a grudge just for spilling something on her ridiculously expensive outfit. 

She called me names; her favorite insult was "street urchin"—yeah, that one from Aladdin; she was never original, unfortunately. She mocked me for not having parents, for not having people care about me because I was just, in her words, a sorry excuse of oxygen and that my parents killed themselves to get away from me. Oh, and she absolutely loved to trip me in the halls, push me around, and pour my lunch over my head—she once sent photos to everyone at school, captioned Garbage can!—get me into detention purposely, and a whole lot more. It was annoying, but I didn't have much of a choice. I practically just accepted my fate and endured all of it.

There was that time she locked me in the janitor’s closet, and no one let me out until the next day. Yeah, just don’t try to imagine me being claustrophobic. And there was that time when she told everyone about my murderer of an aunt—I really don’t know how the fuck she got that information—and told everyone that I’m a dangerous killer. Did everyone believe her? Yes. Even the goddamn teachers. They treated me as if I were a ticking bomb that would explode any minute and kill everyone in sight.

If I wanted to list down every shitty thing people have done to me, I would need to write a whole ass book. ‘The Diary of a Sad Girl’ sounds good, right? Yeah, I know, Diary of a Wimpy Kid reference. 

All I can say about Kayleigh? She’s a fucking bitch. She’s a mix of Regina George and Karen Smith, except she made Karen her whole personality. 

Okay, so enough of the negativity. We’ll get back to that in a while. I’ll tell you about someone who made my life a little bit brighter, at least just for a short while. 

Halfway through my junior year, I decided to get a job. I landed one at a local bakery near Sweet Angels. Pretty sure that bakery’s gone now, though. The bakery was owned by this sweet old lady. Her name was Charlotte, but she always insisted I call her Lottie. Unfortunately, her daughter died when she was twelve years old, and she started the bakery to honor the memory of her daughter. I think it was her way of reliving those precious times with her child. If I had died when I was a kid, my mother would’ve done the same thing.

I always helped out as much as I could in the bakery, like putting the pastries in the oven, cleaning, and mostly at the counter. I assured Lottie that I was alright without any pay, but she always insisted. She’d always say, “No, no, honey, you need it more than I do. You have a long way to go in this life.”

Do I?

Pretty sure she was thinking about her daughter; she would have been the same age as me if she were alive. Despite everything, I just went with it. I mean, I wasn’t going to deny an old woman a little glimpse of what should have been.

As the days passed, I’ve saved a lot from what Lottie was giving me. Honestly? Promise me you won’t laugh, okay? I wanted to get a pretty dress for juniors' prom with the money I saved when the day came. But who was I kidding? I won’t look like Cinderella. I would most likely look like one of her stepsisters; my money’s one hundred percent on Drizella. I decided to get my first phone instead. It was a Samsung, nothing special, really, just my escape from reality.

Okay, so, back to my shitty life.

At the start of my senior year, Lottie was diagnosed with stage three breast cancer.

Just as my life was slowly starting to get better, shit happens. It was like the universe absolutely despised me.

I was there for Lottie every step of the way. I wanted her to get better; I wanted her to live. Maybe it was for selfish reasons, but she was the only family I had left. I know we aren’t related by blood, but fuck DNA; it’s the bond that makes a family.

Eventually, the cancer worsened, and Lottie just accepted the fact that she was going to die. I begged her over a million times to fight, but she was already at peace with death because she was so close to finally meeting her daughter again. Soon after our last conversation, just a few days before I turned eighteen, she passed away in her sleep. Smiling through the end of her wonderful life. 

I wish I could say that I was fine after that, but I wasn’t. It was like losing my parents all over again. Throughout the days of arranging the funeral, I was a mess. You can probably imagine the endless hours of crying I spent alone at Lottie’s house, trying to figure out what to do next. For the last year and a half, I had Lottie help me with deciding practically everything. I still tried to get it all together because she deserved a proper burial and a beautiful goodbye. 

A week after the funeral, Lottie’s lawyer contacted me. Apparently, she left me everything. Her house, bank accounts, jewelry, and the bakery, which was her most prized possession. I had to physically stop myself from crying after the lawyer informed me because Lottie entrusted everything to me. I mean, did I even deserve it? 

I tried to get back to normal after Lottie’s passing. I was out of the system, but at least I had a roof over my head. I still cried at night like a baby, but I had to go on with my life because I knew that’s what Lottie and my parents would have wanted. 

Instead of locking myself inside of my room, I decided to focus on my studies, since I only had a few months left of my senior year. Surprisingly, I made a few friends. It was mainly because of school projects and shit, but it was better than nothing. I don’t have any contact with them anymore, but I’m sure they’re living their best lives, unlike me. Rotting day by day, waiting for death to take me by force. 

Okay, okay, I’m getting a bit sidetracked. Are you ready for another traumatic bitch-ass event in my life? Promise not to hunt those people down, yeah? 

Senior Prom. 

I know, quite the cliché. I was initially against the idea of it, but it’s the last event before graduation. It didn’t help that my friends were absolutely hyping it up, as if it was the fucking MET gala. 

So, we went dress shopping like two weeks before prom. I got a beautiful teal dress that had a sweetheart neckline and a slit that reached up to my mid-thigh. It’s simple, I know, but I loved it so much.

Fast forward, prom night. 

It was honestly just like the movies, the getting ready part with your friends. Laughing and giggling about what could happen at the event, like first kisses and prom queen nominations, even though it was a long shot for girls like us. It was fun gossiping over the possible king and queen of the night while doing facials and mani-pedis.

I didn’t have a date, so one of my friends asked her brother if he could find someone to dance with and take photos with me. You know, for the ‘experience’. 

How I wish I didn’t agree to a date. 

God, trauma is such a backstabbing bitch. 

How am I supposed to get through life when every little thing gives me a flash of the past? I hate my life; I wish I would just drop dead so I wouldn’t suffer anymore.

I don’t know if you’d like to know what happened on that night, since it’s quite…disturbing, to say the least.

Fuck it. I’ll just say it. 

I was abused…sexually. God, I still feel disgusted. That little prom experience idea? It turned into one of the most sickening memories of my life.

At first everything seemed fine; he was this perfect gentleman. You know? The usual shit. Corsages, respectful touches, and very convincing words.

The night was perfect, almost.

I don’t drink, since I’ve already seen the effects of alcohol firsthand with my aunt. It terrified me to the point that I just avoided the mere mention of booze. Unfortunately, I couldn’t escape it on that fateful night.

See, my date had coerced me into drinking spiked punch and basically whatever the hell was in the flask he brought with him. It took a bit of a struggle to actually make me consume alcohol, but eventually I caved at the insistence of my friends.

Worst idea ever. 

Since it was my first time, I got drunk way too fast. Or maybe…it was just something else. Maybe he drugged me? I don’t know. I couldn’t tell.

Long story short, I woke up in his room the following day. My dress was ripped, my underwear gone, and my whole body absolutely felt sore—especially down there. 

It was horrifying, I’m sorry. 

He woke up the second I got out of his bed, well, technically because of my screaming.

You know what the fucker did? He stood up and pinned me against the wall and started kissing my neck. I couldn't move. I felt so humiliated, disgusted, and just hollow.

I couldn’t fight back; he was too strong.

I couldn’t do anything.

I couldn’t.

I couldn’t.

I couldn’t do shit.

Eventually, he pulled away from me and went to the bathroom. While he was there, I mustered every bit of strength I had left to walk out of the room and leave his house, which was empty. His parents were probably out on a trip or something that day, which explains why he had the courage to do what he did. 

I was a mess. I looked and felt absolutely disgusting. My hair and makeup that I’d put hours of effort into looked like shit. Tears were streaming down my cheeks as I quietly walked away from that hellhole, barefoot with my ripped prom dress.

After what felt like hours into my walk of shame, a sweet old lady found me aimlessly wandering through the streets. She asked me what happened, but I couldn’t utter even a single word. Though, she probably knew right from the moment she saw me.

She took me into her house and called the police right away. Unfortunately, he was never convicted. His name? Damien Harrison. He never paid for his crime. I never got the justice I deserved. And you know what’s worse? My so-called friends all sided with him.

No one would ever believe a slut like me. 

No one cares about a whore like me. 

The names people called me back then were absolutely terrible. From being invisible, I became the laughingstock of the school. I was the girl who got sexually harassed by practically every guy on the football team. I was the slut every girl should look out for because I might just seduce their boyfriends and shit. Those last two? That’s Kayleigh. She made sure to make my life even worse than it already was. 

I don’t even know how I survived the last remaining months of my senior year. After graduation, I just distanced myself from everything. 

Until now, I still do. 

Maybe I just deserve to be alone because I’m a disgusting human being that no one ever wants.

I hate it. 

I hate everything about me. 

I’m so done with the effects caused by everything that’s happened in my life. 

I’m so tired, so fucking tired. 

I just want the suffering to end.

All I ever wanted was to be happy. Is that too much to ask?

I think love or happiness has never been in my cards. All of those people I’ve loved either died or have tossed me aside like I was nothing. Happiness? Trauma just sucks it all out of my system, leaving me so hollow and lifeless.

God rest my soul; I miss who I used to be.

Maybe I should just end it all; what do you think?

— y/n 

Timothée felt his blood boil, anger coursing in his veins as he finished reading the letter. He sat there, gripping the paper tightly in his hands, almost to the point of ripping it in half at how tight he was holding it.

He felt…fuck, he couldn’t even describe what he was feeling. 

Y/n did not deserve to be treated the way everyone in her life did. She was an angel of a person, and they fucking took advantage of her.

Especially that Damien motherfucking Harrison. 

What he did to her was just so fucking disgusting; Timothée wanted to track him down, chop his dick off, shove it down his throat until he chokes on it and dies. He wanted everyone who hurt her to suffer and get the punishment they all deserve for breaking her over and over again. God forbid that he finds those people because he might not be able to control himself. 

“Oh, y/n…” Timothée muttered, his heart clenching tightly in his chest as he tried not to break down at the thought of her going through the hell she’s been through. “Mon coeur, I’m so sorry all of this happened to you…” 

Timothée felt more determined to find her, just so he could tell her that she deserves to be happy, that she deserves to live without being haunted by her mind, that she deserves to be loved, and that she is.

Because he loves her.

Timothée Hal Chalamet has fallen completely and irrevocably in love with this broken girl, and he had every intention to fix her—scratch that, there was nothing to fix because she’s already perfect the way she is—and make her the happiest girl in the whole world because she just fucking deserves to be worshipped and adored. 

Now he knows how it feels to be a reader falling for the main character. It was absolutely maddening, having to feel her pain and sorrow from the other side of the ink and paper. 

Timothée quickly pulled out his wallet from his pocket, desperately needing to see her. As soon as he opened the leather piece, his eyes met the most wonderful sight God has ever created in this world. 

“Oh, angel, help me find you…please.” He whispered, pulling the photo out of its place. His fingers delicately trace over her image, thinking how her skin would feel under his touch. Timothée’s gaze lingered over her lips, imagining how it would feel against his, hopefully in a bruising, mind-numbing kiss. If he was being honest, she’s been haunting his dreams for a good while now, in the best ways possible, of course. She was just so….

God, he was pathetic. He was just so desperately in love with this girl who poured her heart out to him, the girl who somehow made it impossible not to love her.

Suddenly, he heard his flight being called to board, snapping him out of his daze. Sighing, Timothée stuffed everything in his carry-on before quickly rushing towards his boarding gate. He would just have to continue reading on the plane.

As soon as he boarded the plane back to New York, Timothée quickly settled into his first-class seat. 

After a few minutes of takeoff, a flight attendant approached him, offering him a menu. “Would you like a drink, sir?”

Timothée nodded, not even bothering to check the menu. “Can you please get me the strongest you’ve got? Thanks.”

The flight attendant smiled. “Of course, sir.” 

Taking a deep breath, Timothée reached for his bag, opening it with one swift motion. He then fished for the last letter he read. “Let’s just hope I don’t go full-on Hulk.” He muttered, getting riled up by the second.

As he waited for his drink, he quickly skimmed over the letter and noticed something. There was something missing from her letter. Timothée ran a finger over the smudged ink where she had signed her name, realizing it was missing the all my love part she usually added in her letters.

He suddenly felt his stomach drop, dread consuming his whole body like a fever, and he was not liking any of it. 

“Mon coeur, what’s happened?” He asked, as if the letter was going to answer his question.

Letting out a deep breath, Timothée realized that he hadn’t paid attention to a detail that was absolutely heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time. This woman who helped her, Lottie. She was probably the one good thing that’s happened in y/n’s miserable life, and for that, he’s eternally grateful. Lottie made y/n’s life a bit happy, even just for a little bit of time.

“Sir, here’s your drink.” The flight attendant who previously took his order served his drink that looked like either whiskey or brandy. “It’s whiskey, sir. Our finest on board.”

Timothée gave the attendant a small smile before muttering a quick thanks just as the attendant left. He then brought the glass over to his lips, letting the alcohol glide down into his throat with that satisfying burn. 

Staring at the glass, he suddenly felt uneasy.

Maybe I should just end it all; what do you think?

Oh, God, no. Fucking hell no. 

Timothée had just been so consumed by his own anger that he let it devour him and blind him from what truly matters.

Her, always her. 

“Mon amour, please,” Timothée silently pleaded as he held the letter close to his chest, clinging onto the sliver of hope that she was still living and breathing after everything that she’s been through. “Stay with me…”

[prying-pandora666]

On Alucard and Maria

Are there actually fans advocating for Alucard to be written as Maria’s father figure in the new season of Nocturne? Like that would be a good thing and not infinitely creepier? I don’t think they’ve thought this through.

Alucard is the single most popular character in the franchise. He’s also probably the most shipped character. And yet he has only had one canon love interest in the decades since he’s existed. It���s Maria. And you’re telling me that you think that because he’s 300+ and she’s 17-18 when they started living together in the games, that it would be grooming. However, somehow him inserting himself into her life at age 16 when she’s just lost both her parents wouldn’t come off like grooming!?

Does this man look like he should be picking up random children!? He’s literally terrified of his own cursed blood. Maybe LISTEN TO HIM.

I’m convinced fandoms have forgotten what that word means. Grooming has specific features. It doesn’t just mean “older guy and younger girl.” A relationship with an age gap or an uneven power dynamic can be exploitative or abusive without being a case of grooming. Grooming specifically refers to the process of forming a relationship with a child with the intention of leveraging that relationship and trust to train and prepare (aka brainwash) your victim for the harmful activities the groomer wants to normalize. The relationship Alucard and Maria have in the games is in no way grooming. You know what would be grooming though?

Coming into a 16 year old’s life when she’s vulnerable, traumatized, and recently orphaned only to insinuate yourself as a new father figure. This is so highly inappropriate and a huge red flag. Consider what you’re actually asking for here. These characters do not exist in a a vacuum. They have a long history together as each other’s only canon love interests. You cannot fully extract them from the games, art, interviews, audio dramas, animations, and more where they’re depicted as a couple. There are decades of this precedent and you are asking Netflix to knowingly take the characters with an established romantic dynamic that the audience is already primed to see as romantic and instead portray their meeting as him trying to be her new daddy?

“Oh look! Alucard and his… daughter? Yikes.” This is an official advertisement btw.

THAT is grooming! Think about the optics of this! It would be abysmal! No it would NOT fix the problem of their age gap to make him act like a groomer and get in good with her as a dad. You just cannot completely extract them from the legacy of their relationship in the source materials. It will be incredibly creepy and textbook grooming if you get your way.

Is this really what you want to associate with an “adoptive father Alucard”? Because the art we create doesn’t exist in a vacuum. All the old content—official and fanmade—is still going to exist.

What is so objectionable about the original dynamic anyway? It’s a pretty fun subversion of the tired and problematic vampire trope of “vampire man stalks teen girl and coerces her into being his”. Instead in their original relationship, Maria is the one who pursues Alucard! It’s the young woman who takes initiative and is given the agency to go after what she wants. She courts and woos him. That’s part of the fun!

Yes, Alucard is 300+. He’s also a fictional creature that doesn’t actually exist IRL and stays eternally young. There are no actual people who will ever have his problem of staying 20 forever so it’s rather silly to say he can’t date any humans because of course he will have an age gap with any of them.

The only real problem I have seen people bring up is Maria’s age, but from what I can tell, the show’s already fixed this. Check it out.

In The Games

Rondo of Blood: Maria is 12. She and Alucard do not meet. Richter is a brother-figure and not romantic.

There is then a 5 year time skip.

Symphony of the Night: Maria is 17. She and Alucard meet to save Richter. At the end, Alucard says his goodbyes and intends to return to a life of solitude. Maria goes after him because she has developed feelings for him and doesn’t want him to suffer a life alone.

Maria is given agency to pursue what she wants and prove herself even against Alucard’s resistance and hesitance to let another person into his life.

They spend a year together before we get the audio drama.

Nocturne of Remembrance: Maria continues to try to get close to Alucard. They end up saving each other’s lives and in the end he finally confesses his romantic feelings for her. She is an adult and perfectly able to make her own choices. She chose him. He admits he returns her feelings.

How fandom can look at a story about a young woman subverting the trope and chasing the vampire to get what she wants—basically an anti-Bella Swan—and still find a way to disempower her just so they can pearl clutch? I couldn’t tell you.

So now let’s look at what the show did.

In The Show

Nocturne S1: Maria is 16. She’s been aged up from 12, probably to give her a more active and believable role. But this also means she’s within a normal age to start feeling attraction and expressing her wants. Within her society, she’s even considered of marriageable age. However we are spared the discomfort of our modern values clashing with her contemporaneous ones because Maria in this season isn’t interested in romance. She’s interested in revolution, equality, justice. They’ve portrayed her with so much love and strength. There is no indication they’d betray her by writing her as the child victim of a male suitor. In fact she only meets Alucard in the final few seconds of the season and the two do not even speak a single word to one another.

Now let’s remember the games had a five year time skip. The show only needs two years to get Maria to the adult age of 18, but assuming the follow through with the timeline and go for the full five?

Maria will be 21.

21.

Fan concept for adult Maria. Credit:@esp-art

Are you telling me a 21 year old woman is not old or mature enough to make her own decisions? How is this not a total infantilization of women? Do you think a 21 year old badass vampire hunter needs protection from the ace depressed dhampir boy who just wants to sleep and has in no way tried to pursue her until after she expressed consistent and persistent interest in him?

It is not “grooming” to meet someone when they were younger and then meet them again years later as an adult. That’s a thing that happens! In real life! Adults can still make decisions for themselves! It is only grooming if Alucard behaved in a way that would manipulate teen Maria and put her under his control and authority before she can consent. There is no indication that Alucard in the show is going to do this. And yet the fandom is basically demanding it by saying he should make her “his baby girl”?

And what of Maria’s feelings in all this? She just lost her mother and was betrayed by her father shortly after discovering he even existed. She has lived her whole life without a father. She is in no desperate need of a new one. And if she does need a family member, she already has one! Richter is 19 and is her trusted adoptive brother. Why wouldn’t she go to him over a total stranger she just met and who is half vampire - literally a predator creature that feeds on humans!?

Yeah, hi, Richter Belmont still exists. He and Maria consider each other family. Why would you want her relying on a strange man she just met as a “father figure” rather than her trusted and loving brother?

Have none of you even considered how Maria would feel if Alucard even tried to fill the paternal role? He’d have to force it on her through manipulation and coercion. No way she would want to view him that way. Especially considering she is 16 and likely to be as attracted to the sparkly 20 year old looking sculpted marble beauty as anyone else!

Don’t mind the beautiful eternally young man who looks made of pure porcelain and light. No teen girl has ever been attracted to this, right? No way it could be exploitative and creepy for him to present himself as her new daddy, giving himself authority and influence over her as his child to mold as he wishes, right? Oh yeah, this is MUCH better than Maria pursuing him of her own volition once she becomes an adult, right guys?

We are truly in the stupidest dark timeline.

Frankly, I don’t care if Netflix has them get together or not. They would work just fine as friends too. I just sure as hell hope they’ll ignore the fans clamoring for a creepy daddy/daughter dynamic. Dressing it up as “concern” won’t hide that for some it’s a fetish, and for others they’re just useful idiots who haven’t thought it through.

I implore you to think it through.

[maxdibert]

I think anon meant with how you could dislike Lily when it's Severus that idealised her in his head for decades and would definitely disagree with you about any criticism about Lily. Which doesn't really correlate in my opinion. Lily is the "Saint" in the series which is unrealistic, we barely get to know her, why didn't JK written in some Girl friends of Lily to tell Harry how she was. We only met Jamess High school buddies. Makes me feel like Lily was the epitome of pick-me and social climber, to only hang around people she benefits from.

Severus is my top 3 and I totally disagree with his treatment of Harry and co but especially Harry, the son shouldn't bury his father's Sins, but I know he's too deeply traumatized and mentally ill that this is not James who he's glaring at. Severus had less opportunities or just social circles to rely on or get help and support.

He's a great Bastard still love him, fascinating and breathtaking.

Sir you're bullying an orphan in your 30s 😭😭😭 What are we doing....

It's only logical that Severus had her idealized. I mean, we're talking about a kid who didn't receive any affection at home, who lived in a dump with a violent father, no money, in a terrible neighborhood. Lily was probably the first person who treated him well, and he developed a very strong emotional attachment to her. I see him as someone quite dependent on Lily. Of course, he was going to see her in a good light and even justify any hint of problematic behavior in her.

I mean, she tells him he should thank James for "saving his life," as if she didn't know James had been bullying him for years. She excuses the Marauders for being bullies because they don’t "practice dark magic," as if that somehow made their abuse less harmful. She ends up marrying a guy who spent his school years tormenting people right in front of her. These are things that Severus might not fully acknowledge, or that he minimizes or justifies internally, but that doesn't mean the reader has to do the same.

I'm not Severus, nor do I share his emotional shortcomings, so I can freely think that Lily was far more of a jerk than many are willing to admit—because, honestly, in certain aspects, she behaved like one. And I don't mind people being jerks, but I do mind when someone is a jerk while pretending to be a saint, because I cannot stand that kind of person. And I especially can't stand people who marry someone capable of sexually assaulting another person, sorry.

Aside from that, as a 29-year-old, I have to say that I can handle my nephews for a maximum of three hours—and I love them to death. But I can’t take more than 3-4 hours with them because they’re unbearable. I mean, I’m an adult, and they still drive me crazy because they are genuinely a massive headache, but I put up with them because I love them.

Honestly, this might sound terrible and be a total unpopular opinion, but I’m not going to shame any dysfunctional thirty-something with clear psychological issues for not being able to tolerate a kid who shows them zero respect, constantly challenges their authority, and repeatedly puts themselves in danger—forcing them to work unpaid overtime just to keep them alive. And on top of that, a kid who isn’t even their own. Like... I do it for my nephews because they’re my family, but other kids? I want them at least a kilometer away from me.

[atomicpirateperson]

Opinions on glitchybomb ship? 😭

I myself don’t ship cause GumRobs rly grown on me, but ik people do, which I can respect because that’s their opinion, but I’m genuinely curious to see your take on it cause I know you do GumRob as well

Tysm 🫰

if the viewer doesnt wanna see glitchybombs hate, turn back now

glitchybombs is my least favorite ship EVER outside of the actually fucked up ones like proships. im fine with any other ships, i mean i would rather not see ppl selfshipping with rob but i understand why they do that

first of all the age gap. sure 13 to 15/16 doesnt sound that bad but age-wise thats a middle schooler and a high schooler. BIG maturity difference

secondly they are NOT similar people. if you think they're similar people you have misunderstood one of them, probably rob. julius has a family and friends and a house and no apparent trauma in his life; but he bullies, fights, and manipulates other children, especially younger ones. rob has none of that except trauma and hes still a MUCH better person

they would definitely not get along well as the ship implies, if they ever interacted, julius and his friends would absolutely bully and manipulate rob. sure julius gets a little redemption but do these shippers even care about redemption? they dont seem to care about rob's, since the whole ship seems based on the idea they'd be "evil" together

oh yeah, they have NEVER interacted. i dont think they've even appeared on screen at the same time. you could at least have something in canon to support this awful pairing

finally wtf is with the amount of smut/overly sexual shit that comes out of glitchybombs? its SO much worse compared to other ships and theres no way people arent aware at least one of them is a minor. really says a lot huh

so yeah idk why people are shipping a 16 y/o manipulative asshole with a traumatized 13 y/o orphan. dare i say its pretty close to being a proship. i genuinely cannot think of anything good to say about it

[thatsodapopgirl]

Probably might write a short fic on ao3 about this. Just gotta motivate myself. I was thinking of writing an Alastor centric survivor horror with Hazbin Hotel crew seeing Alastor’s past. This would give them a glimpse of how these experiences shaped Alastor. Some Radioapple on the side cause I can’t help myself

My inspiration were from the game Clock Tower and @nunalastor World Watch au

Somehow the Hotel crew decide to watch each other's past lives with Lucifer showing them in a crystal ball or something. They want to see Alastor’s but he was at an outing with Rosie, but they decide to take a peek. But Charlie wanted to know more about Alastor’s childhood, she wanted to get a better understanding why Alastor became a serial killer and eventually the Radio Demon. What they ended up seeing was the horrors Alastor had gone through as a child. They started at the scene where Alastor had already murdered his abusive father and was being taken into custody. Because of Alastor’s young age and the story he came up with, saying a stranger broke into his home and murdered his father, Alastor was sent to a local orphanage.

The scene next shows that it has been months and Alastor and a small group of boys have been adopted by ‘nice’ rich family. Turns out that the family were actually cultists who were sacrificing orphans. And the everyone gets to see and react to a young Alastor trying to escape, hide away, while also discovering the family’s secrets. He also being stalked and attacked by a killer (I’m imagining the standard stalker/killer you see in survivor horror games). As this is happening all the friends he’s made are being slaughtered and continued to be traumatized even further.

So yeah, I might write this short for the spooky season. Cause I still need to finish another Hazbin Hotel fics and I already have another crosser idea. But I just wanted to post this so I can remind and motivate myself

[nostalgiclittlespace]

do u think miss delight *poppy playtime* could be an age regressor

I mean she went through bad trauma *like the hour of joy and bring locked in the school with sisters having too eat them*

Miss Delight strikes me as a flip, both regressing and caregiving for others that survived the Hour of Joy. Personally headcanon her to be 65% caregiver lean, and regressor the other 35% of the time. I also believe most of her regression would be impure because of her trauma.

Furthering my headcanons on the topic, I think being locked in the school is what would have triggered her to start by age dreaming; while be trapped in the building, probably surrounded by kids books, toys, crayons, etc—I imagine she would occupy herself with those things. The distraction would provide an escape from the stress and uncertainty. During this time she could have also tapped into her caregiver side and helped her sisters.

Maybe she designed Barb as a toy initially. Maybe she started seeing it as its own person who ‘taught her’ because she transformed the simple thing into an imaginary friend. And maybe she learned to stay still and play dead just through a game of pretend.

But, as time went on, and her paranoia and insanity settled in due to isolation and hunger, then she would begin impure regression. I can’t help but imagine her furiously coloring with crayons until every inch of the paper was covered in desperate attempt to distract herself and stop the paranoia and intrusive thoughts.

Because of this, post-hour of joy she would probably try to stop herself from regressing—as it was associated with bad memories and remained mostly impure. After that she would stick with Caregiver for any other regressors/orphans still around; she was still a teacher after all, and presumably a good one.

Ok, kind of went overboard with my headcanons; I got on a roll imagining this. I think so much of the agere fandom stuff only focuses on the good guys (which is fine, a lot of us (myself included) get comfort from those characters who defeat evil and find a happy ending) but it’s also just so fun to dive into the villains as regressors too. Personally, I enjoy that it allows me to explore some of the unhappier and traumatic aspects of regression, which we don’t see so much of in typical headcanons. Because it’s a coping mechanism, a lot of people just don’t tap into that, but I think it’s important to explore anyway, even if it’s through a fictional example. For a lot of people, regression isn’t a happy place. It includes shame, intrusive thoughts, bad memories, etc—but that doesn’t make them any less valid. I’m not trying to equate impure regressors to villains btw! Even if you struggle in headspace, you are a wonderful and beautiful person who deserves so much love! Just writing this is reminding me to be more open in my writing and represent some of those unhappier experiences with the ‘good guys’ as well.

Anyway, this is probably a lot more of an explanation than you expected, so I hope you didn’t mind reading my thoughts on the matter! Thanks for the ask, this was actually very thought provoking for me!

-Marty 🧸

[givemeanaccountalready]

The Anti-Team 7, Formally Known as Team 6 (Komorebi)

First, I’d like to thank the wonderful @pumiih for drawing my little heathens. You made them (and Naruto) so beautiful.

It’s kind of funny. I picked the number 6 as their team number because Naruto would be the sixth Hokage (Kakashi is serving as Tsunade’s Jounin Commander for now) in my little AU world. I then learned that Team 6 was the number given to Jiraiya’s team with Minato and I thought, “Well, that’s a better reason to keep it as Team 6,” so here I am.

The Word doc that I made to actually plot this thing out to a degree has the title above for the Naruto-sensei arc. That’s somewhat touched on briefly before Naruto meets his team in the flesh, where he’s joking with Sakura that “This is their Sasuke, this is our you, and this is our me,” as the two of them look over the files Tsunade gave him. And he’s technically not entirely wrong about it lol. They just have really superficial connections to the OG Team 7. I even asked Pumiih to put them in the same order as the Team 7 picture. I haven’t posted it yet, but fic will be called Komorebi which translates to, “sunlight filtering through trees,” and I liked the imagery of that, so that’s the name.

Anti-Sasuke: Chitose Hyuuga 🍬 (prestigious clan with magic eyes)

Anti-Naruto: Kaito Isobe 🪁 (orphan, known troll)

Anti-Sakura: Tsurigane Kashiwagi 🔔 (girl)

I feel slightly bad for reducing Tsuri to that but I’m laughing too hard at the summary to care. She is probably the easiest anti-parallel to spot. Whereas Sakura didn’t really have an overarching goal until the Forest Death scene, Tsuri is the only one on Team 6 with an overarching dream/goal. She wants to gain Kage level strength, even though she doesn’t necessarily want the hat, and go down in history as a legendary kunoichi. Tsuri pretty much has a five year plan, meanwhile, Chitose is doing this ninja stuff because it’s what Hyuuga do, and Kaito is simply trying to earn a living until he finds something else that he likes. There is enough internalized misogyny in this girl to power a small village. You can thank her parents for that one. Tsuri despises fan girl behavior and she even lost a friendship over her best friend choosing to like and giggle over a boy. Eventually, she’ll reconcile with her, but for now, no. Very stubborn, very bull-headed, and very driven, Tsuri does not do things by halves.

Chitose is probably the least anti-parallel of the three, since her story revolves around bonds just like Sasuke’s had. Whereas Sasuke formed new bonds within Team 7 and wanted to protect them until Itachi and the Sound 4 happened, causing him to think he needed to sever his bonds and fuel his hatred to achieve his goals, Chitose’s story is a bit different. She wants to form bonds with others, and while she doesn’t have a deeply traumatic backstory, Chi definitely has some serious hang-ups stemming from the divide between the main branch and cadet branches of the Hyuuga family. She is not close to Neji or Hinata, but she has seen them grow into stronger, happier individuals because of their teammates and the work they do, and she wants that growth too.

While she does not have the Caged Bird Seal, Chi knows that’s only due to who her sensei is and not because the clan has changed its mind. Hinata is doing her best to change the Hyuuga’s ways after the war, but at the very beginning of the story, it seems more unlikely than not. Chi and the rest of Team 6 are about 6 years younger than Naruto so Chi couldn’t have possibly been sealed on Hinata’s third birthday like Neji was. She was going to get the Caged Bird once she either finished the Academy and became a kunoichi or sometime later if she had failed. The only reason she didn’t get sealed immediately after passing the graduation exam is because a certain someone told Hiashi that Naruto was being considered as a possible jounin leader and Hiashi wisely decided to hold off on it. The Hyuuga compound is still standing… for now.

Kaito is my lil goblin. He’s a snot-nosed brat whose fear of losing another loved one and screwy sense of self/self-worth resulted in his constant trolling and mouthing off. A little hater who graduated the Academy with two full time enemies and one part-time enemy, an unrequited rival (unrequited on Kaito’s part, he doesn’t want it). Like Naruto, he is stubborn and very perceptive of others’ emotions, but while Naruto clawed his way to acceptance and changing the way things are, Kaito is more content to crash and burn in the status quo. As a result, he does not have any big dreams or goals. If Tsurigane’s story is about learning to constructively use strength for herself and on behalf of others, and Chitose’s is about learning to let others in without making herself small to accommodate them, then Kaito’s story is about finding internal peace and taking the chance that the past won’t repeat itself.

I definitely spent too much time trying to think of what I wanted the other rookies besides Team 6 to look like. There’s three other rookie teams, and Shikamaru is the jounin leader for one. I just hope that they’ll be liked when I have enough written that I’m comfortable posting so I don’t have too much dead time in-between chapters.

And because I can… NaruSaku for the main ship. Team 6 ships it.

[rom-e-o]

Proposal to work Emmerich and Belisma into the modern Scroogeverses:

The Twins and Emmerich went to university together and were roommates. While they were in business and finance, he was in mortuary sciences, but they all got on quite well together. (Side detail: Twins also worked for Fezziwig through uni.)

Fast forward a few decades, they all meet up again at a class reunion, each bringing their prospective wifeys. The Twins are successful, billionaire businessmen, Emmerich is a well-known professor of mortuary science at a prestigious school. (He also has a side-hobby of studying the prospect of the supernatural: ghosts, spirits, etc.). Cue them all seated at a table, all the girls chatting animatedly, getting on famously, and all these distinguished silver-foxes just... exchange besotted and fascinated looks. Imagine: all three of them finding love later in life with equally lovely, wonderful, and vibrant women. (Probably all foreign? For some reason, I imagine Belisma probably wouldn't be English?) Apparently, good things really do come to those who wait. (And endure traumatic spiritual time travel to save their souls.😅)

OH MY GOSH. 🥹

This is so cute and honestly incredibly perfect for them! And it lines up with timelines, and the details in their backstories, perfectly.

Emmrich is canonically in his early fifties (51-55) so he and the twins would all be in college around the same time, especially for their more advanced degrees.

All of them were also poor growing up (Emmrich before AND after was orphaned when parents died in a building collapse) so I can see them bonding from that as well, surrounded by all these trust-fund kids in their prestigious classes. They share drinks and complain about it.

Life pulls them apart, and time passes.

Him being a professor is perfect, but with a heavy side-hustle studying spirits and ghosts. (Oh, he would LOVE to hear about the Twins experience - he’d actually believe them without any hesitation or judgement! Many intrigued questions await.)

They meet up again decades later, and I imagine they’re all pleasantly surprised that each of them has found love. The only past paramour Emmrich will reveal in-game is a woman who left him because (it’s heavily implied) that she didn’t want to commit. And we know what happened to the Twins too. 🥲

So when they all show up with ladies on their arm? Fascinating, indeed!

“My goodness, you two have changed. Smiles, and pleasant company on your arms? I thought I’d seen it all.”

“You’re looking pretty chipper yourself, professor.”

Belisma would not be English, you’re correct, haha. It’s funny you should mention nationality, haha.

She and Emmrich are technically both from the in-game country of Nevarra, but BioWare/EA could never decide on a canon accent, so everyone sounds completely different, lmao. In the Character Creator, Belisma uses the upper-pitch “American Female” (Erika Ishii) voice option.

Belisma was also orphaned as a baby (the game gave her that backstory, I promise I’m not making all my OCs orphans on purpose lmaooo) so she was found in Nevarra, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that’s where she’s from.

In the modernverse, I’d say she’s actually from the U.S. (LA) since that’s the accent her voice has. Connie and Orin have New Yorkers as voice claims, after all, lmao.

So, another Yankee. These poor men, lmao. 😂

Belisma would get along with the girls splendidly! They can reminisce about life back home. She is a bookish woman, and definitely introverted. She’s not a social butterfly and comes across as a little over-eager and awkward with a morbid sense of humor sometimes, but she genuinely warms up easily when she sees Connie and Bess are kind and supportive. Also, they all have (ahem) similar tastes in men~

“Do you ladies like thrifting by any chance?”

“You know, um … My other friends made such a fuss about the 20-year gap between Emmrich and I. They’re supportive, but I can tell they don’t fully understand it. It’s nice to be with people who do and aren’t judgmental.”

“Oh my gosh, those blooms are gorgeous! Bess, would you ever consider offering gardening lessons? My husband adores flowers, but everything I touch just seems to die. I know I’m doing something wrong.”

“So, Connie, your family is into philanthropy too, yes? For unhoused children and families? That’s … nice to hear. I’m glad more resources are being created.”

“So, both your husbands are the CEOs of S&C? I’m dreadful with numbers and business sense, so I have no clue if this is helpful, but I’m working with the university to create more internship options for students who want to learn mortuary sciences, physics, chemistry and biology. I’m sure we could provide some financial aid if you have any programs in the works.”

[theratisbackanditsinyourkitchen]

not to cause drama or anything but I HATE SCYTH ASMR! (Tw fictional domestic abuse, and fictional abuse of power)

Hate is a strong word, and my feeling might be a little over the top but, I do wanna talk about some of his stuff. I was a big fan of his when his first V vid was made. I joined the discord and followed all his posts. And then he posted a video that happened to have domestic violence in it, MASSIVE TRIGGER WARNING FOR THAT PAST THIS!!!! this vid has the listener character “cheeky” (I will not be calling her that cus that’s is a cringe ass nickname btw) and V, the romantic interest training, then after some flirting (one sided on V’s part, I’ll get into this later) a cargo truck full of scientists drives by! V quickly gets into the trunk and kills everyone in there, the listener character tries to stop him from killing what she think is an innocent person, he kills the guy in front of her, and then throws her out of the car, chokes her, talks about how he’s going to kill her and pin her death on the people in the cargo truck, and then says “how about one more kiss before you go” before letting her go. He then afterwards explains that the reason he killed all of them, was because of some in story lore about werewolves. It’s explained that what they did basically caused a werewolf to go feral and become evil and kill people. So obviously! These scientists who were probably forced by the government to do this, deserved to die! That makes sense! Anyway the moral of this vid was that the listner character should always listen to V no questions asked! I hate this vid for a number of reasons. The biggest one is the number of comments sexualizing and romanticizing the fucking horrible and traumatic abuse this listener faced, even bigger then that was the fact scythe audio fed into it.

The worst comment (trigger warning, victim blaming)

As you can see, scythe not only condoned this behaviour, he feed into it. This comment makes me sick. I accidentally watch this video without reading the description and became very triggered at the video. (this is not scythe audios fault, I must make this clear) seeing people make jokes like “I asked to be choked but not like this” and talking about how the listener character deserved and even enjoyed the attack was and still is repulsive.

The relationship between V and the listener character was also extremely abusive, but it was always shown as loving, or something like that. The listener has to stay with V and basically do whatever he asks (including kissing and I assume sexual favours) or be tossed to the streets to be picked up by either the evil shadow government or the actual government. Both wanted her dead. So, she’s trapped staying with a man who threatens violence if she doesn’t follow his every whim, who sexually harasses her daily, who diminishes her trauma, and who treats her like trash, just so she doesn’t her tormented and eventually killed. My issue with this isn’t the fact he’s an abusive ass hat, my issue is that instead of giving him any actual character growth, V was given orphans. He was made into an adopted dad to a shit ton of orphans cus he has ZERO REDEEMING TRAITS OTHER THEN HOT. Scythe audio must have realized this guy was his money maker and realized he had to make this guy actually redeemable if he wanted to have him to keep Marlon him money. Anyway it was unconvincing cus right after introducing the fact there were cute kids in the equation, he dropped the domestic abuse.

Another thing, less about the videos and more about how he interacted with fans. His discord sever had rolls for age! They specifically had one labeled “16 and under”, now, I’m not against having minors in asmr fandom spaces, but having minors especially such young ones in a sever he made? It just felt like a weird choice, especially seeing as he had and still has, and I’m going to say it bluntly, porn up on YouTube. Now you can say “but the video said 18+!” We all know that has never ever stopped a minor from doing anything. With this said, a large amount of his fandom was under 18, I’ll give him this, I don’t think i ever saw Scythe interact with an under 18 fan, but he knew they where there, he knew they watched his content. And yet knowing this, he wrote stories that glorified domestic abuse as a way to teach your partner how to fall in line he wrote stories glorifying the horribly toxic relationship that was V and the listener character. This type of thing affects kids greatly, especially if they have no clue it is abusive. Even in the video with the domestic abuse the description says “this may be triggering to listeners in regards to domestic based violence” not “Trigger warning, this video contains Domestic abuse!” It says it more like “it’s kinda domestic abuse, but only if that triggers you”

In Redacted, the description will always tell you what to expect. “Gaslighting, manipulation, toxic relationship” he will make sure you know that a toxic relationship is toxic, he makes sure your aware that the abuse shown, isn’t love. The most scythe does is say “well V is a villain! He’s not a good guy!” And yet her tries to make him redeeming so people like him.

Now, I get that this was over 2 years ago, scythe audio could have totally moved past this weird glorifying abuse thing, who knows! I mostly wrote this as a vent cus my friend reminded me he existed. Anyway if you made it this far have a nice day. If you where or still are a scythe fan, tell me what you think of all this (without being mean please) if you happen to be scythe himself block me I don’t want you near me. Anyway have a nice day!

[sunnysidesevenup]

I cannot draw rn and I’m struggling so bad so MORE YAPPING ABOUT THE MAGIKEY AU @quartztwst I hope you don’t mind being tagged ^^ lemme know if you do!!!

I like the idea of Ithel being a dramatic weekly villain. He’s not even corrupted or anything he’s just there to cause chaos. I’d give him an outfit too but once again I CANT DRAW so. Later. He has unknown motivations and goals, and he could actually be scary and intimidating if he tried but he doesn’t. He just monologues for like 30 minutes straight instead. Every time he runs into Ali instead of a different magical girl/boy he nearly cries because Ali KEEPS STABBING HIM. STOPPPPPP HE HASN’T EVEN DONE ANYTHING YET???

He went home to Elio once with a stab wound and Elio patched him up (he’s training to be a doctor in this AU and is just a civilian!!!) and Elio was like “So… how the hell did this happen?” and Ithel panicked and told him that his drama group is very intense. They are hard core roleplayers and yes they use real swords, yes he knows it’s probably dangerous, he’ll talk to them about it.

The irony is that he is in a drama group, and Ali is in the same group. Neither of them recognize each other, somehow.

He still somehow gives off traumatized orphan vibes even in magical boy villain form btw. (and he continues to still not be an orphan.)

[destiny-in-the-universe]

two down, another to go.

This is going to a mix of about 4-5 different prompts and it’s going to be very much a doozy, esp. because of the fandom choice. It’s extremely late, and I’m not expecting anyone to see this until sometime tomorrow, but the fandom oddly enough is Cars. As in the Pixar movie!

It’ll be an extremely niche reader group but oh fucking well. This is what I’m fixated on writing apparently. For some explanation, it follows the most alt canon to ever be written but it is implied to take place following the events of Cars 2! Lightning is still a racer and at the top of his game, though things take an unexpected, sudden turn in this - since I just like to be mean when it comes to my favorites lmao which includes this boy. Also! Keep in mind everyone is human.

I will say he gets to go through it and is loosely inspired by a great series on Ao3 which I will link later if I can find. It’s definitely becoming its own multi-chaptered work though I’ll cover that later since I’ve no idea if people will be interested in that!

Read below the cut for more information about the Cars whump prompt!

Whumptober Event

Following an alternative canon, Lightning McQueen has returned for another year of racing in order to win the latest Piston Cup, but when things take an unexpected turn for the worse - will he be able to pick himself back up again?

The characters are, of course, humanized. Timeline wise, it’s supposed to take place after Cars 2, but presumably before Cars 3. There are a few key differences from the canon franchise however.

Cars AU Headcanons

I am not incredibly mean, so despite that my love for angst, suffering, and whump - Doc Hudson is not dead. Also because I’m a complete sucker for Doc’s dynamic with Lightning McQueen, and is a huge part for the incoming series/whump writing event.

Mater is very much Not Straight. He doesn’t have a label on himself, but after breaking things off with Holley Shiftwell - he has begun catching feelings for a certain someone. We’ll get to this later!

Mater is also Extremely Autistic and ADHD. You can’t convince me otherwise, holy shit

Lightning McQueen is so ADHD. This is canon now. I make the rules!

Sarge and Fillmore are in a committed relationship, and have been ever since the 1960’s. This is not center to the au I’m working on, but it’s also going to be referenced so,

Doc Hudson has mobility issues and uses a cane to help him walk. His crash won’t be a main focus, but yes, the cane is a mobility aid due to scarring from the incident in his youth!

Hurt Lightning McQueen means adoptive parent Doc Hudson. This is all you’re getting!

Finn and Holley might not appear in this installation, but they’ll probably get referenced in some way!

Lightning is an orphan. It’s unclear what happened to his parents, so all the people he has are from Radiator Springs.

While it’s not a major focus in this version, and is more in the past, I am very much a Harv basher. Have fun with this!

I’ll expand on this universe later, but the short version - Lightning deals with the aftermath of an incident during a race and the road to recovery is far from easy; at least he has his found family to help every step of the way. In other words, I traumatize Lightning for my own whump serving purposes. I’ll be in touch!

[jays-cloud-zero]

Dazai Character Analysis

Okay so, this is basically a Dazai character analysis for before his mafia days so buckle up. These observations are from what I’ve noted in readings of official Light Novel translations, No Longer Human, Beast, and the base manga obviously, but head canons may worm their way in despite my trying to exclude them.

Alright, so I think that logically this should proceed from a chronological standpoint, so I’ll discuss the time before Dazai and Chuuya: Age 15 first, which, while isn’t explicitly stated, allows a lot to be learnt about his character. Let’s start with the fact that in Fifteen it is said Dazai is not an orphan, shall we? He has been established as a suicidal character from before his first canon appearance aged around 13-14, therefore an event before he joined the mafia is primarily the cause of this mindset. This doesn’t really highlight a brilliant childhood, although knowing he was indeed homeless for a time prior to meeting Mori does create another potential reason for this behavior and philosophy. However, this knowledge of the fact he was homeless also just goes to show that while he did have a family Dazai would rather live on the streets than with them. I’m assuming that Dazai did have a living family due to the whole “he certainly isn’t an illegitimate child, or an orphan he picked up” thing in 15 when discussing his place in the mafia. Therefore his time on the streets doesn’t really set the scene for a loving family, does it? Thus, Dazai’s household must have been a place he either felt overlooked or trapped. An example that sticks out to me from No Longer Human is when Yozo feels he must pretend to be something that his family desires rather than what he himself wishes to be. In writing the gift he feels his father wants him to get, or acting rather silly for the women, he is essentially crushing his own personality and needs and stuffing them away. So Dazai obviously comes from a background that gave him trauma, most likely from his family. However, this most definitely isn’t the only trauma to come out from his time homeless. Particularly, his hatred of dogs which, in the light of the manga and wan, tends to be portrayed quite comedically. But considering his experiences within the slums it can be assumed that the literal stray dogs may be to blame for this. Packs are often known to become rabid or attack others for a chance to be fed, therefore its probable that Dazai encountered such packs and someone he was with or perhaps even himself were attacked while trying to feed themselves in less than humane conditions. Akutagawa also has this dislike of dogs, which correlates with this theory, as he is also from the Suribachi Slums (it also gives an interesting take on the title Bungo Stray Dogs, but that isn’t relevant here). Speaking of the slums, Dazai was invited into the Sheep, but declined which is quite interesting as the knowledge of ‘strength in numbers’ is known practically internationally. This may be linked to his biological family because as a boy trapped you probably wouldn’t want to chain yourself to another group of theoretically ‘helpless’ people.

Mori and Dazai as a duo are also quite fascinating, the mystery of how Mori picked up Dazai (ha-ha see what I did there?) leaves a lot up in the air, however what we do know is that an extremely young Dazai attempted suicide. Realistically it can be assumed that when the good doctor found him, he’d passed out and therefore was unaware of being moved to Mori’s clinic and so, when he woke up in an unfamiliar place, with a complete stranger and a traumatic background, Dazai probably started to freak the hell out. This helps to explain that panel from 15, where Dazai is strapped to the table with a mask on. No, it wasn’t some evil psycho experiment, it was just an aggressive child posing a threat to both himself and others therefore Mori sedated and restrained him which so happens to be a relatively common practice! I also feel that the ‘kinship’ Mori expresses in 15 may also have a part to play in why Dazai was taken into the mafia. The doctor most definitely has some form of trauma because no one just sees humans as pawns… but anyway, in seeing a child he could connect to he helped cultivate Dazai’s silly little genius brain and conditioned him a little in the process. Mori’s teaching method would have likely reflected how he himself was taught, and I feel like it would focus on the rules of the mafia (success = life type deal) since Mori was starting to plot to take over the underworld of Yokohama. I don’t think that Mori would have hurt Dazai directly, he does save lives for a living and hurting a suicidal child probably wouldn’t accomplish much, however he may have exploited a pet Dazai may have been attached to, I lean more towards a cat due to the nature of Catsume’s (Cat Natsume) interactions with Dazai and the fact he hates dogs. This whole idea of suffering at the hands of losing the war comes from Mori saying to Chuuya, “I am the pinnacle of this organization as well as its slave” in 15, it also reflects the fact that Dazai seemed to rise to the top of the mafia as Mori’s prodigy; he was being groomed to be a good leader if anything were to happen to Mori. It would also explain so much about Akutagawa’s ‘training’, as essentially, from the few snippets we’ve seen, Akutagawa was taught to be helpful to the mafia or die. Furthermore, it can be assumed that Mori and Dazai knew each other for at least a little while before the previous boss’ assassination both because of the familiarity Dazai had with the boss during their fight and the fact that no one just kidnaps a kid for a day to kill someone. Mori would have to at least trust Dazai wouldn’t spill the beans for a free tootsie roll, which requires trust to some extent. Mori teaching Dazai on the other hand comes from the fact that Dazai obviously didn’t go to school, he joined the mafia at 15 and was an executive by a maximum of 18, and despite people without educations still having intelligence in their own right, the level Dazai displays and the way he is always five steps ahead of everyone in the current manga timeline leads me to strongly believe he was given education through a more private and focused approach in planning, problem-solving and the like.  And that about brings me to the end of things I can think of to say about Dazai before canon, not sure if I’ll keep going past this point but we’ll see…

[chemnections]

What are your thoughts on the fourth TUA season?

i just finished bingeing it and am in the processing phase right now. my very first impression of it is i didn’t hate it, but i am disturbed by the ending.

suicide isn’t the answer. and the world is better with you in it.

it is so disheartening to see this sort of ending on a story about a dysfunctional and abused family - it sends the message that it never gets better. but it can get better - it truly can. and maybe they were going for more of a nihilistic approach, a “life goes on until it ends”, maybe a classic “all the characters have settled down and had family’s and lived to an old age” was too “boring” of an ending for the weird interesting umbrella academy. that all the characters “tried” to have normal lives but never achieved 100% happiness at all times because that’s not what life is, life is hard and we don’t have the answers why. but imagine watching the first season for the first time then having the ending spoiled that they never truly worked through the dysfunction than they all committed suicide as a group - because they had “no choice” but come on they didn’t go down fighting and it was written so that they “wouldn’t have a choice” to justify it. but it is what it is. as an untreated teenager into nihilism i probably would have found it profound. but as an absurdist treated adult, this messaging horrifies me.

and they know it’s fucked up because they made sure to save the kids - because that’s a step too far (even though had would their kids exist without them ever existing?). as if orphaning them isn’t horrible and traumatic. and then to display them happier than they were before with their parents. . . sure they had their memories erased, but that doesn’t save trauma from missing parents even if they are loved and taken care of. asked people who never knew their parents, or even people born out of an egg/sperm donation. most do wonder/want to meet their birth parents.

one potential saving grace that has yet to be seen is if by killing the umbrellas, gerard is putting the narrative of mcr’s dysfunction, shade and break up to rest. i am hoping.

and it does worry me how this theme appears in gerard’s current art. it worried me when they released foundations of decay. “from his own hand his spirit flies”. i hope he has found a place of stability and relative happiness and these themes are retrospectives from a past dark point.

and before i get messages saying gerard doesn’t write for the show, imo he does have great influence over the show and that steve blackman consults closely with him. they are past the point of original material. i’m seeing quotes saying the rest of the writer team wasn’t onboard with the ending, but blackman was determined. the actors thought he was joking. if it really was left open to the writers and producers to decide the narrative of i think the brainstorming would have been a much broader conversation as it does take several minds to build upon someone else’s world. tinfoil hat on, i think blackman asked gerard what ending he wanted.

i actually like that lila had an affair in the sense that i was worried they were going to have her marriage and kid “cure her” of her lying manipulative ways. that actually marriage and being together would “cure” both diego and lila of their ills and problems which they would hold above everyone else. so maybe that’s why i like this season generally, it did subvert my expectations in a good way. because in a real sense diego had to learn that when you get into a relationship with a liar, that they don’t stop lying. and that lila wasn’t going to stop being cruel because of love. and fuck, lying that stan was his kid isn’t something he should have forgiven. he should have seen the signs and walked away. so i kinda like how this season roasts him a bit for his own inaction in his own life and his audacity to complain about it. like the line “lila said you couldn’t get pregnant when breastfeeding” - he should have educated and verified that for himself instead of playing the victim as if he didn’t participate. life just happens to him. and they barely showed the additional two children - but they are twins.

lila cheating with five was foreshadowed in season three. it was something that really stuck out to me. when diego asked confused what lila and five were doing together when she was in the bath. scene in the bath in general. “i’m shaving my nest you perv” - quote just off of memory. i thought it was a very weird suggestion, especially thinking of who those characters are based on. i brushed it off as being a fucked up fantasy being put in, maybe to piss someone(s) off. but now it can be seen that it was setting up the groundwork for the affair. i guess i should google how old aiden gallagher is, maybe they were waiting for him to come of age before putting his character into a relationship.

i have seen a steve blackman quote saying they wanted to put five into a relationship, but if they wanted more romance how about something established or star crossed lovers storylines they already had - like klaus and dave, or not have ray abandon alison for no apparent reason given. they also had ben. or kept sloan alive. or they could have brought back deloris because people did accept that way more than they did luther and allison. but there may be a practical availability and budget side to this.

and so many repeating themes along then way. the piss bottle lol.

still very much collecting my thoughts on all of this, would love to hear other people opinions!

[forever-eternal]

Hello. Have a Poppy Playtime OC. Minor blood on the third image but it’s literally nothing.

———————————————————Meet Danny Dingodare, one of Playtime Co’s beloved Smiling Critters!

Danny may be a jokester, but he still has rules to follow for all his tricks and games, be sure to reference the ‘Dingodare Rules’ before you start your schemes!

“Hiya! I’m Danny Dingodare! Let’s play a game!”

“Let’s play hide-and-seek! You hide, and I’ll be it!”

“1…2…3! Haha! Found ya already! Let’s play again!”

“I know a great hiding spot! Follow me, okay?”

“It’s just down this hall…we gotta be reaaal quiet, or they’ll find all of us…”

“Here. Just through this door, okay? You kids go ahead, I’ll make sure they won’t find us this time!”

…

.

.

.

Gurgling, Choking, Crying. The last voiceline is full of distant, distorted screams.

———————————————————

EXTRA

Danny is an optional thing the Player can do. One that, if completed, they can save DogDay because he shows up to help.

So his section is probably away from where most toys would be— which is closer to Huggy Wuggy’s section, since that’s where you see the least amount in-game. There’s all the Smiling Critters stuff and posters and all that in his area (like foreshadowing), but there’s no threats.

And then you find his cardboard cutout, and hear the above voice lines.

Don’t make too much noise, stay low.

Hide.

The Grabber Pack sounds make him think you’re a toy, and most toys aren’t friendly to each other— he’s trying to defend himself, and scare you off.

And the last part is like a every other section’s chase scene, and the way to beat the section is to get to the very end and turn on the worn down TV that’s there, which starts playing a Smiling Critters Episode. He stops chasing you and just sits in front of it, listening.

Because other toys wouldn’t turn it on.

And he’s hearing his dead friends voices again after so long…

He’s calm, and lets you leave.

But you might see him around. Watching. Following. Sniffing you out…

Until you find DogDay, and he hears a voice so familiar and ventures into the most dangerous part of the Playcare for the first time in years to save you both. (Maybe save Catnap? Just needs a good reason to stop following the Prototype..)

His voicelines are like that because he helped as many of the the orphans and the visitors escape as he could, pushing them towards a lower exit and blocking it off so none of the other toys could get to them before they got out. Even physically fending off some of the more persistent toys.

I imagine that’s when he went blind. Another toy got a good hit in, but probably wasn’t left around for long. AND this being when his vocal cords got damaged.

The Hour of Joy must’ve been especially traumatic for the Toys who weren’t in on it.

He may have been a human boy once, and he may just be a living toy now; but he’s still a dingo. A jester and jokester he may be, but it was his job to protect the kids and visitors of Playcare.

Maybe the Player is one of the orphans he saved. Or maybe an orphan that had been adopted before that time, so knowing the Smiling Critters and other toys, who heard the news of the disappearance of the factory staff after moving back into town as an adult? Mayhaps and visitor who escaped? Or a kid raised to be an employee 🤷‍♀️