#it’s okay that i don’t relate to most of the stuff people talk about on tumblr

[nat-of-personifs]

hey everyone here’s a basic fact it took me five years to properly understand for some fucking reason. this is an excellent achievement because now i can form proper connections with people without having panic attacks about THEIR trauma which was a big bruh moment in my personal history methinks. wouldve preferred if there was less collateral damage involved in the Character Development but at least the character fucking developed. here’s a shitty victory drawing. fun fact i’m a fourteen year old girl.

[nervoussagittarius]

what could possibly go wrong?

matt sturniolo x influencer!reader

summary: matt tries to teach his girlfriend how to play fortnite on a twitch stream, request

warnings: lots of fluff, swearing, fortnite?, some suggestive jokes, yapper! reader

“babe, come sit with me. i just started the stream. people are joining, only for you i think” matt laughed

“of course they are they love me. i keep it real and i’m hilarious” you replied pulling out the extra chair by matt’s desk and sitting down.

“okay, so here’s your controller, and i’m gonna put the headset on you so people can hear you talk.” matt gently placed the headset on you and brushed a piece of hair out of your eyes.

matt got up for a second telling you that he was going to the kitchen to get a drink. you jokingly slapped his ass on his way out. you quickly looked between the camera and the chat trying to read what everyone was saying.

“guys, you want to know what i was thinking about today?” you waited to see their responces even though you were most likely going to tell them anyway.

“so i was driving around la today, and it’s getting hot out again, so everyone’s driving their convertibles. and i drove past like four of them. all i could think about was how easy it would be to steal the car, not that im going to, but how do people feel comfortable leaving their shit open like that”

matt walked back in as you continued to rant about convertibles, “i don’t know about you but half of my life is in my car. if i had a convertible people could easily just take all of my stuff”

matt looked at you dumbfounded, “what are you on about kid?” you looked up at him with admiration on your face.

“im telling them how i feel about convertibles. look they’re mad that you interrupted me.” you pointed at the chat. they were all waiting for you to finish your thought. “this is why we don’t like men guys, they just like to interrupt and be the center of attention”

matt cut you off before you could go on another tangent. “okay, we all know they love when you come on here, but let’s play fortnite.”

you looked at matt trying to hold yourself back. you looked at the camera and gave them a wink.

“what”

“… that’s what she said”

you stood up when you noticed something on the shelf about matt’s desk.

“dude you ass is in my face, and your…boobs… are in the camera” he said awkwardly as he pulled your arm for you to sit back down. he waited to see what you grabbed.

“don’t act like it’s the first time my ass has been in your face,” you sat down holding up your space camp lipbalm to the camera. “shameless plug. go buy it right now. immediately. instantly.”

you applied the chapstick as matt looked at you with puckered lips. he was expecting you to apply the lipbalm on him but instead you gave matt a kiss with a giggle.

“okay so fortnite” matt said trying to get you back on track, blushing.

“yes yes let’s do it” you replied.

“do you know how to use the controller?”

“yes sir, i think i do��

matt looked at you with a raised eyebrow in question. you didn’t let up though, you were sure you could figure out how to use the controller in secret.

“so you have to start by picking a character.”

“i’m indecisive. can you pick for me?” you said with a smile.

“no babe, you got it just pick one.” matt said with a chuckle. he set his chin in your shoulder to get a better look.

“i’m gonna go bonkers if i have to make decisions this whole time, matt”

“no there’s just one i promise. everything else is preloaded from me so you don’t have to worry,” he leaned forward to kiss your neck lovingly.

“i love when you make things easy for me. thanks baby.” you said taking your hand off the controller for a second to lace your arm through matt’s.

matt and you had been together for a while now, and with you both having lives on the internet a lot of your relationship was public.

the fans went crazy for anything related to the two of you. they loved you guys together. you had very different personalities, but it seemed to click flawlessly. they always said that opposites attract.

while matt was more reserved, you tended to speak your mind and talk about anything and everything. you were a certified yapper and proud of it, baby. your yapping kept the fans fed on the insides of yours and matt’s relationship. consensually of course.

“okay, so you’re just going to drop in and see what happens”

“what do you mean drop in? im just letting myself fall?” you were very confused on the workings of video games.

“yep, now just make sure you aware of your surroundings”

“making sure i’m aware of my surroundings, got it. i’m just gonna run over here and see what i can find.” you drowned on.

things went smoothly for a couple minutes. you managed to stay alive and not show that you really didn’t know what you were doing with the gaming controller.

all of a sudden you heard distant shots being fired from behind you. not thinking anything of it you kept of running about.

“y/n they’re shooting at you.”

“oh! wait what? where?” you had no clue what was happening. things were going by so fast.

“turn around and shoot at them.”

“matt what?” he was trying to point to where they were on your screen. “dude i don’t even know how to shoot”

“what! i thought you said you knew how to use the controller”

“yeah well i lied” you said panicked.

“these teenage boys are probably laughing at me and that’s a scary thought. teenage boys are scary.” you whined.

you kept pressing random buttons trying to figure out how to fire back, but it was no use. you rushed and threw the controller in matt’s hands so he could take over.

he some how managed to get the kill and your player only ended up injured.

by this point you had given up on the attempts to play fortnite.

you let matt fully take over now. as he played a few more rounds you began to converse with the chat. answering questions and just rambling about some interesting topics.

“y/n what’s going on in your head right in this moment?” you read from the chat. “um, i was thinking about how i was vlogging earlier and there was a spider in my room. i simply couldn’t believe it. i trapped it, but i made matt come get it out of my house”

“that’s very true. i had to drive over there for moral support.”

“my knight in shining armor.” you smiled, looking up at him. “my handsome prince”

matt blushed from your comment as he finished the game he was in while you continued taking to the viewers. you guys decided to wrap things up 5 minutes later.

“how are you feeling now that you know kinda how to play?” matt questioned.

“i feel like i’d rather sit next to you and talk to the chat while you play then actually play myself. i think i’m more content watching you play, but it was a good experience. thank you for teaching me, baby” you kissed matt on the cheek as he began to end the stream.

“i’m gonna be honest, i was stressed for you.” matt stated.

“i was to anxious. i didn’t like having to be in high alert 24/7”

“alrighty, bye guys thanks for hanging out with us”

you blew a kiss to the camera as the filming came to an end.

“can we go to bed now,” you questioned matt as you stretched and got out of your chair.

“yeah of course we can” matt replied pulling you over to his mattress with him.

an: i hope you enjoy this. tbh i know nothing about fortnite so i hope this made sense and met your expectations 🤍🤍

[gay-dorito-dust]

I think it's canon that stan smokes and gets high when he was younger

So I'm thinking reader (they are as old as the og mystery twins) is the type to smoke when they're stress and they say that smoking/getting high clears the fog in their brain

So how do you think stan & ford react to this? I mean they know it's bad but it helps them

Most research about the negative effects of weed I found online, whether or not half of them are actual negative effects is beyond me.

Stan isn’t a hypocrite, he’s gotten high before and so he knows what state your life must be for you to resort to getting high as a stress relief.

He fully understands why you’d always resort to doing such a thing but would remind you that you could always come to him if anything was ever bothering you instead of resorting to getting high.

‘I appreciate it but I don’t want to bother you with what goes on in my head, half of the time I can’t even put it into words that best describes what I’m going through but with this,’ you raised your blunt, ‘it helps me in ways that talking to someone else never could.’

‘Okay, just know I’m here to talk toots.’ Stanley said as he patted your shoulder and left you be.

Stan did it to escape everything and avoid the consequences of his own actions, so much so that he often abused the substance on more then one occasion, but after Dipper and Mabel came for the summer, he has later learned to cut down his smoking sessions for the betterment for the twins and himself.

So whenever he sees you heading out towards your designated smoking spot- the top of the shack- he’d sometimes join you for a smoke, especially when Ford came back and had been nothing but a stubborn nuisance as you shared common worries while the smell of his cigarette and weed was all you could smell.

Neither of you spoke but there was a solidarity between the two of you until you were done. Stan knew that it wasn’t exactly healthy but he wasn’t going to cut you off weed completely if it helped when you needed it most, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t not join you to make sure you weren’t abusing the substance like he did when he was younger.

Ford fully understands that weed is a natural product that can calm people who suffer from anxiety and stress related issues, but over-usage of it was highly discouraged.

Ford knew his brother did similar things in his youth and hated it then, but knowing that you did also only made his distaste for the strong smell stronger as he would then avoid any and all areas that you smoked in, and yet the smell clung to you like second skin and Ford was reminded of how much he hated the stuff and would try to give you something that would hopefully act as a replacement for weed.

Unfortunately for Ford it didn’t work and by the end of the week you were back to smoking weed almost on the regular to destress.

He’d even list off the risks you’d run if you low using the substance.

CHS syndrome

Elevated anxiety

Paranoia

Psychosis illnesses such as schizophrenia

Addiction to weed, if you hadn’t already formed one.

Confusions and or potential hallucinations

And so many more but the more he listed the less you seemed to care as you had relied on the weed for a good majority of your life, and did so in controlled quantities but understood Ford’s worries regardless in the matter and placed a hand on his shoulder.

‘I’m fine Ford, I know it’s not exactly good for me but it’s the only thing that helps.’ You tell him.

‘I’m here.’ Ford replied, a little hurt that you didn’t think of him as a good option for distressing.

‘You’re far too busy in your lab or out monster hunting to sit still for ten minutes and listen to me talk about my worries.’ You said as though it was obvious. ‘So weed is my only resort to calm mind.’

‘Meditation exists, so does journaling and or scrapbooking?’ Ford suggests and it was obvious that he was trying to mitigate any permanent damage you might do to yourself in the future.

‘Not my thing and I lack the patience when this mind is loud as fuck.’ You shrugged before walking up to the top of the shack to smoke, leaving Ford a little at a loss of what he could do for you now. He didn’t condemn you for your usage of weed, but he just worries that an addiction will grow from it and he wants to be there for you, he just doesn’t know how…

[xoxochb]

hi, this is my first time requesting, ever, so i don't know whether im doing this right or not. i have an idea where (aged up) reader and jason in their little apartment in new rome. reader is heavily pregnant (third trimester or so) and she just realized something about jason's power, how he could feel electric pulse from someone's nervous system and he used it to feel his baby's pulse and heartbeat inside the reader's belly.

i'm sorry if this a bit too specific 🙏🏼🙏🏼 and i understand if you ignore this request since most people hate pregnancy trope. love you <3

⋆·˚ ༘ * talking rings and talking cradles

warnings: this might be inaccurate because idk a lot about pregnancy

pairing: jason grace x fem reader (aged up)

you were happy, yes, but pregnancy is rough, and honestly you wished it would be over sooner

currently, you sit on the couch, legs up on the ottoman, you’re pretty sure this is the most comfortable position you have ever been in

your husband lays beside you, his head on your shoulder, and his hand on your stomach, occasionally rubbing it, you start to think he’s more excited for the baby than you are

and as you sit there you realize something

“jason?” he picks his head up from your shoulder

“yes?”

“can’t you control electricity?” you ask

“where is this going?” he gives you a confused look

“well I was thinking… if you can control electricity and stuff like that, isn’t it technically related to the nervous system?” you smirk

“I suppose…” he trails off “what are you trying to say?”

“well… maybe you could use your powers to feel the baby’s pulse or heartbeat” you bite your lip, fighting a smile

“you think it word work?” he beams

“you could give it a try” you suggest

“that’s awesome! you’re a genius, I love you!” he kisses your cheek

you laugh, “okay, okay, you gonna do it or not?”

“of course I am! I just don’t know how” he frowns

“put your hand on my stomach and summon your powers, shouldn’t that work? just don’t shock me” you point a finger at him

“I’d never even think about it” he smiles

“get on with it! what’re you waiting for?” you hit his shoulder

he sits fully up and places a hand on your large stomach, and there’s a moment of silence before he breaks it with a gasp, “I feel it! I feel their heartbeat!” he smiles widely, and you mirror it

“this is amazing!” he kisses you, and then uses his ability to feel the baby’s heartbeat again

“it feels so light, so small” he puts his fingers close together to show a small amount

“well it is an unborn child” you state

he takes his hand on your stomach to wrap his arm around you for a hug, “I love you”

you smile and kiss the top of his head, “I love you too”

[madam-monarch]

[ alright I talked a bit about an AU I worked on, and now I got most of the basic stuff done, so I feel ready to show it to people! ]

Here we go!…

[ yea I made a Sea Creature/Mermaid AU, has been done 100 times before, and I don’t care, had the idea after waking up one morning and I had the massive urge to do it! ]

[ in this post I’ll go over the basic story n stuff, I’ll make a second one going over Kinito and His Crew in a bit more detail! ]

LINK TO THE CREW INFO POST

[ I’ll from is on use #kinitoPetDeepSeaAU for any type of post related to this AU, just to make it easier to find! ]

[ now to the Main info about this AU! Under the cut! ]

Now before we get started, I wanna say this will have some broken englisch and bad grammar, not just because I’m Dyslexic, but englisch ain’t my native language, so please be nice to me! :(

Okay but now fr let’s go! [ also slight warning for mentions of Manipulation and Violence, nothing super graphic, but just to be sure! :) ]

In this AU, Kinito and His crew are no virtual creatures, but Siren/Mermaid like sea Creatures!

The story of this AU is that the player has been accepted to a job to work at a company [still tho looking of a name for the company, open for suggestions tbh] close to the Sea, which doesn’t just work taking care and studying sea life, but also capturing mythical sea life, to study them [including doing tests on them], and keeping them behind wall‘s, to secure humans to be safe from them! [yes, they are in fact very dangerous in this AU]

In the AU, Sonny Chamberlain is still alive, but very physically injured, he was the one who captured the three, and survived an attack from kinito [u can tell these two got mad beff here], and Sonny being the main guy who has to teach „player“ their new job, on how to take care of these three, Sonny obviously is VERY worried for „Player“, knowing how dangerous it can be to be around them!

Kinito, after meeting „player“ the first time, tries a plan he has tried whit many other workers of the company before, trying to befriend them, so he and his friends can go out into the sea again and do Havoc, which hasn’t obvious worked till now… but who know‘s, maybe it will work out this time!

/// now just a little add on, based on the canon game, I don’t think Kinito is rlly evil, his actions are, which he doesn’t rlly know any better, he‘s just following what he was made for, a bit aggressive, but pretty unaware, in this AU, Kinito fully knows what he’s doing, he‘s not an AI, he‘s a living being, so yea, he is quite evil and WILL manipulate and out others in danger to get the thing he wants, which is to do what he wants!

This is the basic rundown of the AU, I will now go a bit more in detail of the crew!

I’ll work on a ref for Sonny and Player for this AU soonish!

[newbtheveryawesomeandkindanewby]

As I’m sure you know, Hazbin Hotel’s central character is the princess of Hell, Charlie Morningstar. A lot of people have said a lot of things about her, but I’m here to touch on a subject that doesn’t get brought up much: her title.

Part 1: What does “Princess of Hell” really mean?

When most people think of princesses, they tend to imagine Disney ones. Fancy dresses, animal sidekicks, singing a lot, all that jazz. Charlie tends to engage in musical numbers, and she does have a few marketable pets, but her wardrobe is severely lacking. Clothes are an excellent way to signify a character’s job and status. If you put a character in a big sparkly dress, everybody looking at them will go “yep, that’s a princess.” So far, Charlie’s never worn one of those. Her main outfit is the suit-bow tie combo that Medrano just loves, making her feel like every other demon in the crowd.

Okay, maybe Earth and Hell are different in this regard. (Heh, that’d be a first.) Maybe high-status demons don’t wear fancy clothes! Except we’re forgetting one detail: the Goetias. They also use titles like “prince” and stuff, and they’re always dressed to impress! The one exception to this is Octavia, but that’s most likely because of her teenage angst, a trait Charlie doesn’t share.

While we’re talking about the Goetias, there’s another thing worth bringing up. As previously stated, they tend to use royal titles. Stolas is a prince, and he’s supposedly one of the less important ones! Stella’s a royal of some flavor, and that might not have even been through marriage! Compounding on this, the Deadly Sins are all stated to be the king/queen of their respective sin! Or have we forgotten Miss Queen Bee’s antics? With all these royals running around kissing and/or shooting each other, Charlie is once again lost in a crowd of standard Tumblrized monsters.

So maybe her royal title isn’t the important part. Maybe what really matters is that she’s Lucifer’s kid. Makes sense, right? Well, no. The purpose of an heir is to take control of their parental figure’s assets (Hell, in our case) after said parental figure kicks the bucket. This doesn’t work here, since Lucifer’s immortal! He sure ain’t goin’ anywhere! Historically, princesses were mostly just used as bargaining chips to marry off to other kingdoms in exchange for stuff. That really doesn’t work here, because in this show there are no other kingdoms! You really think the ruling powers in Heaven are gonna want their kids marrying some demon?

So now that we’ve established that the title ‘Princess of Hell’ is virtually meaningless, we reach my second point: why even have it?

Part 2: Why even have it?

As any good English teacher will tell you, everything within a story was done for a reason. Yet, Charlie being a princess serves no narrative purpose. She never uses her title to get what she wants, and everyone around her treats her exactly the same way they’d treat any other demon. You could say it was to introduce Lucifer more organically into the story, but there’s other ways to do that.

One of the many, many aspects of storytelling that Medrano struggles with is the act of killing your darlings. What that means is, if something in your story isn’t doing much and thus has no reason to exist, get rid of it, no matter how much you like it. Viv’s inability to do this is the reason everything she writes has so damn many characters, and by extension why almost none of them are remotely interesting. A character being the Devil’s daughter sounds interesting, but if the writers can’t make it interesting, they shouldn’t do it. 

So, why did Viv make Charlie a princess? Here’s my theory; writers want their main characters to be relatable to general audiences, and Viv must’ve forgotten that general audiences aren’t composed of upper-class white women whose every need and want is supplied by their affluent parents. To the rest of us, such a character risks invoking that very worst of writing tropes. I won’t type it right here, but it has seven letters and sounds like hairy stew. 

[iireneleee]

MY FAVOURITE PLACEMENTS FOR EACH SIGN (with explanation of course 😚😚)

remember, don’t take this too seriously cause this whole thing is fully based on my own personal opinion so im sorry if I didn’t mention your placement(s). don’t be offended okay?! MUAH I love all of yall 💋

Aries: I’d probably say 50% venus 25% moon 15% sun — honestly this is kinda hard for me cause my best best friend is an Aries moon and I get along very well with Aries moons however… this one girl that I broke off all contacts with cause she was obsessive ( she still hasn’t stop💔💔 even though we stopped talking for 2 years, super creepy) 50% venus because omg literally almost every single lovely person I know has that placement it’s mad. maybe it’s bc my venus conjuncts theirs (I’m also an aries venus) they express love in a way I adore so 💕💕 for aries sun, 25% because I’m only close with one aries sun but she’s literally so fly I love. but she says some weird stuff occasionally though she’s too unfiltered HAHAHA love that.

Taurus: definitely taurus moon 50% and taurus mercury 50% — taurus moons are literally the cutest people ever. idk why but all of y’all are like little hamsters in my eyes. taurus moons remind me so much of hamsters. many of you are probably leaders and I love being around you guys. super sweet and always there when I need y’all muah muah. people always stereotype you guys as lazy people but every single taurus moon I know are the most hardworking people ever. super admirable individuals 😚😚 those who have natal taurus mercury people are the funniest. y’all are like LOWKEY old souls. very good people to be in a group project with cause they always voice out the best opinions and ideas. they are also really relatable individuals they say things that many people would like relate to idk how to describe it, meme worthy i guess?? I love y’all so much. sometimes they ignore people when they say stupid stuff but whatever they’re literally one of the best people so they get a free pass.🤫🤫

Gemini: mmmm I’d say 50% gemini suns and 50% gemini risings. honestly, I haven’t met many gemini placements 😭 my sister is a gemini rising so i might be a little biased HAHAH sorry my bad my bad. i love gemini risings they always give me one of the best first impressions. i tend to get along really well with gemini risings and tend to gravitate towards them hehe. also for gemini suns, most are pretty cool. i realise that gemini suns tend to be really nice and grounded when you meet them but when you get closer to them they’re little devils IN A GOOD WAY hahah. all my interactions and memories with gemini suns are actually really good. they always promise a good time 🙏🙏

Cancer: CANCER VENUS🔥🔥 for sure cancer venus. omg i love them. they give really good hugs LOL. super sweet individuals. i love the way they express their love it’s so cute especially when you’re the recipient of the love literally so 😍😍. one of my friends have this placement and oml she gives such meaningful gifts. she is the reason why I have high expectations for gifts LOL. i really hope i get to befriend more cancer venuses 💔💔 they’re really thoughtful people who take initiative very very lovely 🫶

Leo: leo moons 🙏🙏 y’all are so chill. literally are the 😐 people ITS SO FUNNY . I love y’all so much I always have ‘beef’ with leo moons lol literally tom and jerry but it’s so fun. bickering (affectionately) I know I lot who don’t study but r really smart or at least all of y’all tell me you don’t study😐😐 I know a lot of you guys who r dancers too and omg really pro dancers srs srs. super fun people but they lowkey about it.

Virgo: definitely virgo sun + virgo venus I have so many virgo sun babes (aka friends) they’re so so sweet. im always having a fun carefree time when im with you guys. never a dull moment. you guys are like my babies srs srs you guys just gave me that youthful feel and it’s so refreshing omg🫂🫂. virgo venus people are so funny idek why they’re so underrated. they’re also very big mouth literally tell them something humiliating that happen to you and if it doesn’t sound like you’re very bothered by it trust people around you probably also know about it BUT it’s okay cause they cute, I can never get mad at them. also very playful people. 💋💋 i love talking to them but at the end of the convo omg we are like probably fighting / arguing (affectionately) LOL i don’t get many gifts from them honestly but they LOVE to give food. hehe 💋💋 to my virgo venus sweethearts

Libra: libra suns + libra moons so 50 - 50 hehe libra suns are really helpful people. they’re like honestly very libra idk why. they’re so so sweet, always there to listen to you ramble. my mama is a libra sun and omg she’s always listening to me ramble and rant ITS SO FUNNY. sometimes you guys are too nice to people that they tend to take advantage of your kindness so always be on the look out and know your worth 😚😚 . libra moons ARE SO FUNNY. i love you guys, y’all always make me lose my breath over your jokes. super random people who talk about out of pocket things but it’s so unique and fun with you guys that I can’t help but laugh everytime i see yalls face. also pretty smart people. you guys always do your best in things that you’re passionate about and it’s really admirable however, when y’all dgaf about stuff man all that quality work is gone LOL but it’s okay me too. best people to have around y’all remind me of those circus seals. 🔥🔥firee

Scorpio: scorpio venus — I really love scorpio venus individuals omg. they’re always there for you and always ready to attend all your big moments without fail. I had this one friend who has a scorpio venus and she take time out of her own busy schedule to train me for my interview and we stayed at the place until like the sunset it was so wholesome. not only did she do that but she was with me when I got my interview results like I was so shocked I thought she stayed cause she also had something to do afterwards but turns out she had nothing to do and she planned to wait for me and leave right after omg i literally melted. I treasure her so much and because of that I’ve always had a good impression of her. super sweet individuals. little cinnamon buns, warm and sweet. they also really are big on physical touch cliché I know but it’s real HAHA. everyone should have a scorpio venus friend or significant other 😭😭💋💋

Sagittarius: sagittarius moons — out of all my close friends in my click, half are sagittarius moons, it’s literally mad. they’re such unique individuals all of them have different personalities even though they have the same moon. but one thing they all have in common is that they find the weirdest stupidest unfunniest jokes funny. it’s mad. I can pull out a photo of a cat on the ground holding a fish and they’d be cracking up like mad. they all really enjoy being around positive and responsible people, people who are like them. they always burst out laughing idk y they try to hold their laugh but they never laugh normally. I love them though it’s always so comfortable around them MUAHHH💋💋

Capricorn: capricorn moons + capricorn mercury 50-50 — omg my baby capricorn moons, they’re so athletic, or maybe it’s just the capricorn moons I know but omg they’re so competitive when it comes to sport. they’re actually really reliable people even though they may seem quite playful and reckless. they tend to be good at math. love food. they also like to make handmade things for their friends and it’s really random. sometimes I come out of class one day and they just ask me if I want a cookie. LOL and one of my friends gave me a piece of paper that she doodled and drew on FOR ME it’s so cute and random but makes me physically like become the 🥺 emoji. love u guys. for capricorn mercuries y’all have the most underrated humour YALL ARE SO FUNNY LOL. you guys make the funniest jokes with the straightest faces like this face, 😐. MAKES ITS EVEN FUNNIER LOL. y’all tend to text a lot and are quite talkative actually. love you guys cause you guys never hesitate to make the conversation about the other party rather than yourself LOL JOKING ( but FR though you guys make me feel like the main character whenever I’m talking to u ) 🫂🫂

Aquarius: mmm i haven’t really befriended many who have aquarius placements so this may not be relatable😭😭 sorry!! but I’ll have to go with aquarius moons. — I tend to get attracted to aquarius moons cause they seem really fun. idk why but they all seem like a ball of sun to me. they remind me of fluffy cows HAHAH. they’re really cool individuals and they’re really kind. super sweet people who are always willing to help you and take initiative LOVE THEM💕💕. wish I get to know more aquarius moons, they’re just so loveable and reliable. 🫶🫶😚

Pisces: pisces moons 50% + pisces risings 25% + pisces mercury 25%💕💕💕 — OMG pisces moons BRUU literally my babes. I love them so much. they’re always there to help. they’re really responsible people even though they like to have fun. best people to have for group projects. they’re also really good at putting themselves in other peoples shoes hence making them very good at comforting others. very good friends that would do anything for you. they tend to radiate the same energy you give them so always give your best to them for you to receive the best💪💪 for pisces risings, I just really like they’re features. they all give like a reserved energy and many people would think that they’re really high achievers and admirable people with a cute face HEHE. they’re really sweet and awkward at first but once you get to know them omg it’s a huge difference they’re little devils LOLOLOL (in a good way🤫🤫) I tend to have many pisces rising friends maybe cause their rising is in my seventh house but 😚😚 whatever. they’re little choco pies, random ik but it just fits their whole persona . pisces mercuries are really chill people who like to talk. I love them so much cause like tend to relate to one another a lot and i just love to talk to them because they’re so easy to talk to. just pull out a random topic and they would prob be able to talk about it, very versatile speakers. also, they don’t really share their opinions at times. like sometimes i want to eat something with them but their whole face writes “no that looks disgusting” so I ask them if they’re sure that they’re fine with the restaurant and they say that they’re fine but they’re not really fine LOLOLOL they’re so cute HAHAH love them. they always put others before themselves.

made by: @iireneleee

[what-even-is-thiss]

could you share your thoughts on Christianity and the lgbt community? Not in a like "'oh yeah well how are you this and that if you're REALLY Christian"' kind of way, I'm asking from the perspective of someone who's been struggling with their spirituality because I don't know how I can believe and god and also be gay. Feel free not to answer this though, you shouldn't have to explain yourself to random people every time you mention your religion

There’s not a lot of mentions of what we would consider to be homosexuality in the Bible. Paul mentions it most explicitly but there’s some important things to remember about Paul. First, he’s just some guy. He did important work spreading the religion but that doesn’t mean that he’s right about everything. Second, his only exposure to homosexuality likely came from the Roman elite. And the way they did it usually involved raping slave boys and hiring young prostitutes. They didn’t usually have same sex relations in the way we think of them now. Men didn’t generally have romantic relationships with each other into adulthood and a full adult citizen being passive during sex was considered to be scandalous. Any actual romantic relationships between adults of the same sex were likely kept secret or at least weren’t talked about loudly. So Paul is living in this environment. And people aren’t completely separate from the environments they live in.

For the most part stuff in the Bible that’s translated as condemning homosexuality is referring to certain cultural practices common in the Mediterranean at the time that we also wouldn’t like today. Such as pederasty, also known as a romanticized form of pedophilia that even people at the time in cultures that practiced it heavily criticized. Consenting adults often did have romantic or sexual relations together but they weren’t commonly open about it.

Overall, the Bible just doesn’t have much to say about liking someone of the same gender if you look at instances outside of things alluding to some of the worse stuff the Greeks and Romans did. So if the Bible doesn’t say much about it, that leaves it up to us to logically deduce our personal feelings about it.

Okay. So what are the two main commandments Jesus gives us? Love your neighbor as yourself, and love god with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. Basically: love God, love others, love yourself. These are said to be the rules that all other commandments stem from and supersede all other commandments in terms of importance.

So. Does being queer stop you from loving God? Loving others? Loving yourself?

Science is real. It helps us learn more and more about the universe God created all the time and science has proven time and time again that being queer isn’t a choice and that people are happier when they live more authentically.

God made you the way you are. You cannot control whether you’re queer or not. So it’s not a mistake in you that can be “fixed”. If humans were made in the image of God, you too are an image of God. So some tiny part of God, however small, looks like you. All of you. Including the queer parts.

So then. Are you loving God? Including the parts of God that are like you? Are you loving your fellow humans? Including your fellow lgbt humans? Are you doing your best to love yourself? Every part of yourself?

I don’t take the Bible fully literally. You can’t. It contradicts itself constantly. But even if you did, the world it was written for and the society that made the oral traditions it was based on no longer exist. At least not in the exact same way they once did. What the Bible does have in it is stories that can give us examples and have informed the formation of our culture as Christians. Christianity has changed a lot over the last 2,000 years. Many forms of it have come and gone. Ultimately it’s up to us as modern Christians what kind of world we want to be apart of and contribute to and what culture we want to make among ourselves. I can’t pretend to know the true nature of God but I do know that God inspires me to reduce suffering and speak up for injustice where I can.

Ultimately your interpretation is up to you. But I personally don’t see needless self flagellation over something you can’t control as an act of justice or love. Just a form of self torture that’s ultimately not adding much to the world. Adding some of your own happiness to the world in my opinion isn’t a problem.

If you want to know how being queer has affected my faith, I’ve never doubted for a second that being lgbt+ is fine. To be honest I’ve been more afraid of secular society not accepting me than God. God and I have wrestled before, but almost never over that. I am how I am and if God didn’t want me to be this way he probably wouldn’t have flipped the gay switch in my brain.

[asksythe]

I've been understanding a lot of cultural subtext around MDZS thanks to you. I'd like to ask more about what makes "cultivation partners." Is it synonymous to marriage or is it a different thing altogether? From my understanding of various marriages depicted in MDZS, marriage can easily be a power move, right. I've also read about dual cultivation, but not sufficiently, and I wish to understand if becoming cultivation partners, sex, marriage - all are supposed to be exclusive stuff. like Jin Guangsham was married yet had sexual relations with plenty of people, perhaps including cultivators? JFM and Madam Yu had a complicated marriage; were they cultivation partners as well? Mianmian married a non cultivator (?) but still went on night hunts to cultivate her core. Other marriages were Qin Su and JGY, and JZX and JYL - so, I do wonder if all of these were classified as cultivation partners.

Another thing I do wonder is, from where I am, in olden times in certain dynasties it was acceptable to have many wives or spouses or marry for gains. In others, the emperor had one true wife who would repeat 7 lifetimes with him and the others were on a lower social level - ploys for expansion etc. I wonder how monogamy etc plays out in chinese context around mdzs time frame, as well as what sort of "expectations" marriage should entail?

><

Woo… that’s a fair bit. Okay. I’m going to try to answer what I can. Let’s take this one thing at a time. 

1. The O.G meaning of cultivation partner: 

Cultivation partner = Daolǚ （道侣） 

From a lingual view, dao is path, truth, knowledge, and faith. Lǚ is a companion who shares your food, your bed, and your path. So Daolǚ = one who walks the same path in pursuit of truth, faith, and knowledge as you. 

From a Daoist view, Daolǚ is a couple who cultivate together, who seek the same truth together, and who share life and death together. They don’t necessarily have to be husband and wife or lovers. They can also be family members, parent and child, or shifu and dizi. They can be of different sexes or the same sex. All of those are only accessories to the OG meaning. 

The core of Daolǚ is “ones who seek the same truth.”

This video is from a master Taoist answering the question, “Are Dao couples husbands and wives?”

http://baike.baidu.com/l/nBoL850d

2. So why did MDZS use Daolǚ when talking about married couples? AKA a stealth reference to a real-life historical split in opinions: 

The first time the topic of Daolǚ comes up in the novel is during the Cloud Recess era when Lan Qiren taught the history of the Lan ancestor, how Lan An met his Daolǚ, and together they created House Lan. Then the students started discussing their future Daolǚ, which eventually led to the fight with Jin Zixuan. 

Daolǚ, in this context, definitely sounds like a different word for a married couple in the setting. Why? 

Well…. Because there is a historical split in opinions regarding what Daolǚ really is in practice.   

Of course, if we are only talking in theory and lingual origin, then the married or sexual aspect just doesn’t come into play. But in real practice, this kind of close proximity inevitably ends up becoming (or is born out of) actual physical, emotional, and sexual intimacy.

Think about it. The one who shares your faith. The one who shares your path. The one who holds the same ideal. The one who shares your food, your life, your bed. The one whose life and death are intertwined with yours. The one who will walk with you to the very end, wherever it may be. The one whose soul is literally linked to yours through shared cultivation.

You don’t really get this kind of exclusive, super intense, intimate relationship from anywhere other than a married couple. Of course, there are exceptions, but they are, by and large, exceptions that prove the rule. 

It’s very funny because even in the official Baidu entry for Daolǚ, beneath the super official definition provided by Daoism associations and sourced from some of the most credible historical texts that survive to this day, even they had to admit in the modern understanding, and especially in media portrayal, Daolǚ is used almost exclusively to refer to Daoist couples in every way that a regular couple can be. Even funnier, if you go and search for the term 道侣双修 (Daolǚ dual cultivate) in the book section, it turns up some 4300 titles concerning Daolǚ dual cultivation. And a very significant portion of those 4300 titles aren’t actually entertainment media at all, but actual historical texts, modern research, and serious treatises written by reputable modern Daoists on the subject.      

Okay. So then, why not just admit that outright? Why the extra step? What’s there to disagree about? 

Well, because sex is icky. 

Hahahaha! But no really… 

3. Dual Cultivation aka Magic Sex: 

And here we are at the crux of the historical split of opinions. 

Dual Cultivation aka Magic Sex (eyebrow waggle!).

From Daoism's founding point, the idea of harmony between Yin and Yang has been one of the founding precepts laid by Laozi himself. There’s not a single reputable Daoist school that disagrees with this precept. The disagreement comes from the interpretation of this precept instead. 

From very early on, there were already schools that believed in the application of Yin Yang harmony to manifest as the physical and spiritual relation between men and women (or Yang bodies and Yin bodies). 

How early are we talking? Well, BCE kind of early. The earliest text that teaches sex art as part of Daoism is a pre-Qin-dynasty book named The Dao of Huangchi 黃赤之道. This text was later religiousized by various schools of Daoism. 

Before the 10th century, there was not much disagreement at all among ancient Daoists about the sex part. 

Sexually explicit dual cultivation only became an issue sometime around the Tang dynasty forward (618 - 906 CE). Why the Tang dynasty? Well, that’s around the time Daoism became bourgeois. Before Tang, Daoism was the religion of anti-authoritarian hippies (for lack of a better word). Yep, they were very screw-the-government, let-me-have-my-weed-and-intense-sexercise-while-high kind of people (I’m not even kidding).  

One of the earlier records of Daolǚ dual cultivation after the bourgeois-ification of Daoism that still survives to this day is Wu Zhen Pian by Zhang Boduan from the 10th century. Around this same era, numerous sects and schools adopting the same practice of Daolǚ dual cultivation (sexually explicit at that) sprouted up, such as: Shuangxiu Sect, Fangzhong School, etc… 

The Wu Zhen Pian, despite being a fairly cryptid text, also explicitly referred to the “places where the body is first given qi” as the male and female genitalia. So there really isn’t any room for misinterpretation as to what exactly it was speaking of. 

Around this same era, the disagreement around dual cultivation being sexually explicit and Daolǚ being 99.99% couples became very intense… as in sect war kind of intense. 

Ancient High Chinese society was, by and large, very “performatively” puritanical. So from the time Daoism started rubbing shoulders with kings and rulers (instead of eschewing them as the literal founders of Daoism taught), they also started eschewing their fairly sexual, anarchist roots. 

Ergo… the ideological schism.  

This schism would split between diehard, purists practicing Daoists from the more neutral ones that used Daoism as a political tool as well. 

4. A history of sexual exploitation:  

Okay, so sexy Daoism is the pure, root Daoism. Why isn’t it the one being preached as official these days? 

Because… as usual, whenever there’s a great idea, some chuckleheads somewhere would come along, bend it around its knees, and abuse it instead. 

Think about it for a moment. Daoist sects in ancient times were steeped in mysticism. Many of them were powerful and rich. You throw in the sex element. It’s extremely easy for exploitation to happen. 

Cults are some of the oldest things in the history of mankind. Sex cults aren’t new, and they aren’t rare, either. Charles Mansion of the Mansion family is just one in a very, very long string of such things. 

Let’s just say that for many reasons and many factors, pure Daoist schools practicing sexually explicit dual cultivation also tended to have a checkered history and that along with the historical transformation of Daoism from an anarchist religion to a state-sponsored philosophy massively discredited them. 

To this day, you can still trace this history of exploitation down to modern media concepts such as “Human Cauldron,” which is the term denoting a human being used as a sex slave and a cultivation tool by another cultivator. You would think that’s a modern media invention… but no… this term has a long and dark history. Forgive me but I don’t exactly want to go into details in this part.  

5. So, what does this all have to do with MDZS? 

Well, you can use this context to understand how concepts like dual cultivation and Daolǚ are interpreted and practiced by different people within the MDZS world. MDZS is based in Wei Jin period, which was a period of transition, chaos, and clashing ideologies. You can kinda see that complexity in the way a concept like Daolǚ seems so… mixed and different between theory and practice. 

When you really get down to it, there are two ways to understand Daolǚ. 1/ Those who share the same mind, the same faith, the same truth. And 2/ Those who are boinking magically. 

Do Wangxian meet these requirements? Yep, both of them. I think that’s pretty clear. Near the end of the story, when Wei Wuxian said his goodbye to Wen Ning and Lan Sizhui, he also remarked about everyone having their own “road” to walk and that, in the end, only one person walked the same “road” as him. That person, Lan Zhan, was also the one person he wanted to walk with. (I don’t have to provide a snap for this, right? People aren’t going to shoot out of nowhere and accuse me of not providing adequate citations, right?). Dao is road. So that’s another nod to the fact that Wangxian are Daolǚ in every interpretation of the concepts (And yes, I’m totally into the interpretation that their boinking is, in fact, magical and working to stabilize Wei Wuxian’s cultivation! Look at the Japanese art featuring Wei Wuxian with the blue cloud patterns on his body! Clearly, lots of people agree with this interpretation! You can’t convince me otherwise!).  

What about Jiang Yanli and Jin Zixuan? Are they Daolǚ? Ehh… it’s kind of a toss-up, isn’t it? There’s not really much in any permutations of MDZS (with maybe the exception of the live-action) that either supports or disprove. I think if you want to interpret them as Daolǚ and Jin Zixuan would eventually help Jiang Yanli cultivate a Jindan and be able to stay young alongside him, you definitely can do that. Or if you want to see them as a more traditional, ordinary husband and wife couple, then that’s a valid interpretation too. 

Jin Furen and Jin Guangshan? Ehhh… the above paragraph applies… although… geee… I really don’t see them as either pursuing the same truth or… exclusively boinking magically or that either is using the other as a human cauldron… although that doesn’t disqualify Jin Guangshan himself from using that for his sexual escapade? But then why would he die to marathon sex? I guess Jin Guangyao is hax enough? 

In any case, I’m going to stop here. I’ve been sick for the past three weeks and my work has been really demanding. I really tried hard to reserve some free time to write. So the things I have not answered, can you come back to me another time and I will, when I find the time and full citation materials, write a separate reply? 

Have a great day! 

Oh, also… just as a disclaimer, please don’t use my writing for fandom strife or anything like that. I only very recently found out there were people using my writing for… well… Let’s just say I’m not for that. If anything, please use my writing for creative purposes or just to learn something new!  

[softrozene]

Comforting Female Reader Who Has Experienced an Assault

Anon asked: Hey honey, I was too shy to ask off of anon... But do you think you could do some HC’s for the boys helping a f!reader who was previously sexually assaulted? I am having a really tough time right now. ( I am handling it all and I have people helping me too) it’s just really weird for me to deal with I guess Thank you sweet Ro!

rdr2 masterlist

I’m sorry to hear that stuff like that is happening to you but if you ever need someone to talk to just to vent or for advice you are always welcome to talk to me since I have experienced past sexual assaults and harassments. It’s always a no-judgment zone when talking to me fyi. Just remember everyone processes it differently but you are not alone and hopefully the people helping you are a strong support system.

I love you anon and I hope these make you feel better.

 I chose almost all the males I usually write for because they would all kill/die for the ones they love. 

Originally published on February 11, 2020

*Speaking to everyone who reads this: These can be taken as platonic relationships or romantic. Just know I am not romanticizing the issue. There will be solid advice. There will be dumb advice. These are after all my headcanons for how I think they would treat the issue with a fem!reader (I think with a male!reader they would act just a little bit differently. This is a sensitive topic so please read the warnings and just remember you are all loved.

Warnings: Angst, PTSD, fluff, mentions of past sexual assault

Hosea Matthews-

He would hear this from you directly

  Would be shocked before he drops everything in order to listen to you

  If you don’t wanna talk about it he won’t push you but he will hint that it may make you feel better

  If it happened all in the past he would piece together some of your tendencies that relate to the assault, what you tend to avoid and whatnot, and basically, he’ll help you so nothing at the camp will trigger you

  If it happened more recently he will try and urge you to tell him who it is so he can sick the boys on them, without your knowledge of course

  He’ll just say “It’s been taken care of Sweetheart. No need to worry about it.”

   Hosea is the most caring one out of them all and will constantly check up on you, see how you are doing/feeling, will get you whatever you want whenever you want, and more importantly will always put others in their place if he feels they are getting on your nerves or are crossing boundaries

  If you do daily talks he’ll always ask if it’s okay to hug you or hold your hand because he wants you to know desperately how much you mean to him and the gang

  If he sees you heading down the wrong path, he will pick you up without a doubt. Orders you to take care of yourself and if you don’t listen to him, he will send Arthur and John the most awkward boys in the universe to go and talk you into doing the stuff he told you to do

  He’ll do about anything you want in order for you to feel better and get past this traumatic experience

  “We can’t change what happened to us. That’s all in the past. However, we can change how it affects us now. How we’ll go on in the future. Turn this into something to make you stronger.”

  Dutch Van Der Linde-

  Will deadass go on a rampage after learning you’ve been assaulted

  All you have to say is that you got hurt by someone- He doesn’t need any details unless you want to fill up the rage he already has

  He will hunt down whoever they are no matter where they are with most of the gang by his side, it doesn’t matter how long ago it was, he wants to see that bastard/bitch who did this to you in the ground

  “And they will surely be dealt with” literally will be his words- Anyway after they are dealt with will he only focus on you

  He’ll be careful with you and probably the most annoying thing he can and will do is, treat you like glass

  It doesn’t matter anymore if this was in the past or more recently, he will make sure someone he trusts is by your side and preferably a woman so probably Miss Grimshaw

  Eventually, he will realize that he is overdoing it but he will give you one of his speeches saying it’s only because he worries about you

  You just gotta be upfront with him, tell him what you need and what you do not need, and he will fix himself after apologizing

  Expect a lot more gifts from yours truly

  By a lot, I mean a lot

  He will make it rain jewelry for you if it means you know how much he cares

  Can’t say that about the money though

  If it still lingers over you he will without a doubt, try and help you through the process of at least accepting what happened well happened

  “Try and focus on the now and make yourself better for the future” Or something along those lines would be his advice

  Arthur Morgan-

  Is a saint no matter what he says

  You would have to tell him face-to-face and rather bluntly that you were assaulted. If you hint at it, he may take a moment before he realizes what you mean

  He won’t act fast but he will sit down with you and have a talk with you

  Of course, he wants to act, his blood would be boiling at the thought of someone even touching you without your consent but for your sake, he will take a breather and wait until you are done venting to him

  He would treat you the same

  He wouldn’t necessarily tread lightly on certain topics unless he sees that it makes you uncomfortable and omg if one of the boys dares to mess with you he will be on their ass in a hot second

  Basically, he may hover but he won’t realize it since he’s treating you the same way as always

  It’s up to you as well to decide the fate of who hurt you

  If you want them dead, he’ll go do it in a heartbeat

  If you want them beaten, he’ll go do it in a heartbeat

  If you want them threatened, he’ll go do it in a heartbeat

  If you don’t want anything done, he’ll just keep an eye on you and make sure you are faring well

  When he’s not at camp he’ll have Hosea, John, or one of the ladies keep an eye on you

  He makes sure that you know you can bother him for anything, he may be grumpy about it but he’ll do it just for you

  If you’re having nightmares or just can’t sleep you can sleep on his cot and he’ll stay with you until you do fall asleep

  If nothing works to make you feel better you bet your ass he’ll take you with him, on rides to town just to get you out and about

  His last resort is letting you see his journal- That’s how you know this boy genuinely cares about you because no one touches the journal

  “People are not so kind. But you are. What I’m tryin’ to say is don’t let that bastard/bitch put out your light. I care ‘bout ya.”

  Charles Smith-

  He would be the most understanding like Hosea

  Would make sure that you are in a safe space mentally before he allows you to vent

  Will reassure you that you are safe no matter what but he will want to get back at this person

  It usually goes against his code for killing but he cares about you and no one deserves to get hurt like that so he will take time out of his day (probably go gather Arthur) and go and kill this person

  Whether you wanted that or not he would have convinced you this person would probably have another person to prey on soon enough

  Speaking of, he will remind you that you are not a victim but a survivor

  He’ll be there for you all the way

  If you need some company he’s there for you even if you don’t want to talk

  Charles can and will be your rock if you need it

  He’ll help pick you up and depending on if it’s okay with you, tell a selective few what happened so they can also help you

  It may be cheesy but I can see Charles in this scenario making you say positive things about yourself in order to ward away the negative thoughts

  “Repeat after me. I am a strong woman. I am resilient. I am a tiger.”

  May or may not be making fun of Mr. Pearson at the last one in order to get you to laugh

  Either way, he’ll make sure you to feed you positive lines almost every day

  If you need to get out he’ll take you on nature rides and remind you out beautiful the world is despite how cruel the people are

  He won’t exactly hover but he will be constantly glancing your way at camp to make sure you are all good

  Tells you venting is actually good without needing to hear the advice

  I forgot to mention it in the others but, all these males will make sure you know self-defense. They give you tips and tricks with each weapon of their choice that way no one will mess with you again

  You can always rely on Charles to give you good advice though. Understands that sometimes you just need someone to rely on so you know you’re not alone

  “I know you. You are strong and beautiful. Don’t give anyone the power to doubt yourself. Only you have that power.”

  John Marston-

  Is fucking awkward when it comes to this kind of thing

  He will 100% see red as soon as you tell him and no matter what no one but Arthur, Dutch, and Hosea can stop him from going after the person who hurt you (and those three will join him tbh)

  He is not the best to talk to about this so he’s okay if you just need the company

  May take you to a saloon and get you a drink or two just to ease you, will not give you more

  Honestly, I see John as completely awkward and not knowing what to do for this situation. He’s at a loss and if the problem (the person) has been dealt with wouldn’t know how to help you

  He would go ask the girls how to cheer you up or make you feel better, go to Hosea would be a better option and would finally just ask you what you need and how so you don’t get stuck in your PTSD

  Though he may understand but not in the way that is relatable. He’ll understand the nightmares and such but he won’t understand if you fear that person because his situations have always been near death

  He will desperately try to understand you though

  Will send Jack your way if that kid can cheer you up

  “Well fuck, y’know I always have your back. Just- I um don’t let ‘em get to you.”

  Javier Escuella-

  This man would have no idea what to say at first

  It’ll take him a minute to register before he asks if he can hug you- mostly to reassure himself that you are physically safe

  Once that is done and over he will get straight to business and ask what you need

  Murdering the person would cross his mind tbh but he’s too focused on you that he won’t ask till much later

  If you need to clear your mind he’ll take you fishing, show you how to fish and have Hosea come along so it’s all positive vibes

  He’ll write some songs and lullabies for you and serenade you to show you how much he cares

  I honestly think Javi bottles everything up when it comes to himself so he’ll be more than happy to talk to you about your PTSD or share stories and even his own past if he deems it right by you

  He would gut whoever you want like a fish for you btw

  “Hermosa, you’re strength inspires me”

  And it truly does

  It takes a lot of guts to admit and accept what’s happened and even more to want to reach out for help

  Javier would admire that and remind you whenever you need to hear it

  Sean Macguire-

  Ahaha if you thought John or Dutch had a short fuse for this- The minute he finds out he’s already spouting nonsense of them meeting their demise

  And if you allow it or they are not dead he will surely make them have a terrible death

   He would risk getting caught by bounty hunters again if that were the case

  As for comforting you, this boy doesn’t exactly know how to do that

  He laughs off his own traumatic experience so he’d probably be trying to get you to crack a smile or drink with him

  Homeboy would try and get you to kill some bloody people for the fun of it ngl

  Hopefully, his energy will rub off on you

  I don’t really see him as the sitting down type but if he cares about you he is more than willing to listen to you and also more than willing to give you unwanted advice and a shite ton of his opinions

  “Yer fuckin’ priceless. No mutherfucker hassa right to touch ye.”

  He will end the speech with something gory I bet

  *I was going to add Keiran and Lenny but I ran out of ideas but I hope the lovely lads I did write and their reactions/comfort help anyone who needs it

[lemmetreatya]

hey baby loveeee!

i saw these photos and thought of your reader x ony works.

THIS THE BEST THING TO EVER WAKE UP TO COZ NOT ONLY ARE THESE SO CUTE IN GENERAL BUT ITS REALLY GIVING ONY WITH HIS WIFE AND FIRST BOOORRRN 👨‍👦👨‍👦👨‍👦

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onymensah to the many more birthdays that we’ll celebrate, but today. HAPPY 1ST BIRTHDAY 1ST BORN 🚀. DADDY LOVES YOU ❤️

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mikamikamii you guys are so cute fr 🥺🫶🏻

sashabear7891 wait you had a kid?!!?????!!???! with Y/N??!?!!!??

conniethe_conman HAPPY BIRTHDAY PHEWWEW 🔥🔥🔥🔥

onymensah @mikamikamii love ❤️

onymensah @sashabear7891 you knew this??????

12 minutes ago

Time really did have a thing with moving so quickly and changing so much within a small amount of space.

Onyankopon never thought he’d be this attached to the feeling of waking up to other people that depended on him, let alone a doting fiancé and the world’s most bubbliest baby. To think he was pretty much a bachelor up until two years ago where he was living the fast live and accounted nothing to anyone.

Now he’s here, lay down in a messy king sized with suspicious child-related stains that he dutifully shared, whilst listening to you softly sing the bounced yet tired version of Wonder’s Happy Birthday to your still breast feeding one year old.

Definitely not the life he thought he’d be living by now but shit came at you fast.

Rolling onto his side, Onyankopon watches you both with a propped up head, his other hand lightly relaxing on top of your bare thigh.

“He’s gotta stop doing this soon…” You idly say, voice croaky but high in spirits.

Onyankopon sniffs before asking a mundane ‘stop what?’ but you’re instantly telling him that you’re referring to the breastfeeding.

“He’s big enough now to be weened off but this boy just so adamant for the good stuff.” you say your last few words with bulging cheeks and more smiles than before due to your son seemingly looking up at you as you referred to him.

It was almost as if he understood it was him you were talking about.

Onyankopon can’t help but match both your smiles, his hand that lay on your thigh coming up to soothe at the soft curls of his son’s hair.

“Don’t stop him if he don’t want to. He can breastfeed for as long as he wants.��

His voice is so sweet and delicate. He doesn’t hate that that’s the case but he definitely notices the change in him now that he always spoke with shepherding care. He kisses the top of his son’s head before rolling over with a grunt, but he hears you lightly scoff behind him.

“Of course you think it’s okay for him to breastfeed all his life. You’re not the one that has to sacrifice having sensitive nipples all the time because it’s constantly pumping milk.”

“I know sacrifice.”

You look over at Onyankopon with raised eyebrows as he sits up onto the edge of the bed.

“It’s me sacrificing my spot on your lap and my time with your boobs for this guy to be fed all the time.”

The hint of sarcasm in his voice makes you roll your eyes but inevitably you find his comparison amusing. You know he does too because you can practically hear him trying to stifle a laugh.

“Boy, be foreal.” You chide.

[gin-juice-tonic]

I've been thinking a lot about gender identity and stuff lately, but to my shame I’m not the most educated person when it comes to lgbt related stuff. Every time I try to search it to learn more I end up freaking out and clearing my browsing history because of the feeling of being watched. I know I’m being unreasonable, but it’s stronger than me. I don’t have anyone to ask about this kind of stuff. Everyone around me is negative about lgbt, I grew up among this negativity. I’m afraid to ask my online friends because I don’t want to seem ignorant or stupid. What have I decided to do? Send an anonymous ask to a stranger about my concerns (sorry about that), whose blog helped me to accept the fact that I might not be who I though I was at the first place. It feels more safe. Back to the point.

As a teen I used she/they pronouns and a different gender-neutral name online for years. I still do it as an adult and now I realise that “she” was more like a compromise for me because it was what I used to be referred as for my whole life, but didn’t feel quite comfortable with. So it’s they/them for me, I guess. Okay. I’ve always preferred to not be related to any gender, but now I see that there’s more to it. I might be a nonbinary, but what if I’m actually an agender? I also consider the possibility of being a genderfluid because one moment I wear a dress and think that it looks good, and the other moment I cry in front of a mirror because of the idea of wearing it. So yeah, it depends on my mood. I don’t know how it works. I’m just so confused. The only thing I know that I’m not comfortable with being referred to as a female anymore. I’ve never really been.

Admittedly, as someone who is binary trans, I do not have a lot of knowledge in this area. I do know what it’s like to not know what you’re “supposed to be” though. And I know it can be frustrating and scary to be lost in trying to figure out your own identity. 

I asked some of my friends, who are nonbinary and genderfluid themselves, and the first thing we all have to say is you should allow yourself more kindness. I am sorry that you grew up around so much negativity. But I want you to know that it’s both okay to feel afraid but also okay to not know everything. If a friend is going to treat you badly for asking questions, they’re not a very good friend. 

One of my friends says the part you said about “making compromises” resonated a lot with them a lot, so you aren’t alone there. As for how you feel in a dress, clothes do not equal gender. You can like how you look in a dress without any of it having to do with girl-ishness. I suggest you try to think about why you like it when you do, and why you don’t when you don’t. My friends also suggested trying other clothes you can express yourself with. Think about why you like them, or why you don’t like them. (Of course, sometimes the answer has nothing to do with gender. I like athletic clothing because they make me look sporty, which is a neutral thing. But it’s good to know what parts aren’t related to gender at all too.) That extends beyond clothes too, any part of your presentation that you think you can play with without getting yourself into danger, you should. 

It’s tempting to feel like you have to scramble to figure out a label. Especially when advice and other people you can talk to can feel sort of “grouped” under them. And there’s a lot of knowledge to be gained that way for sure. But there’s a lot of knowledge to be gained just in figuring out what you do and don’t like. What makes you feel bad, what makes you feel at ease, what makes you super excited. You‘ve got it nailed down that you don’t like being called a female, that’s not a bad start! 

If your friends are people you think are good and kind, I would suggest reaching out to them so that you can explore things a little more with them, considering they know you better than I would. I know it's scary, but there's nothing wrong with not knowing things, and I hope they'd be aware of that too. And even if you call yourself something now and explore more into it, there's no harm if in the future it doesn't fit so good. There's no wrong way to be a gender, and more importantly there's no wrong way to be you.

[musicalmoritz]

I'm writing an AU that centers on Aoinene, but I'm worried about keeping Aoi and Nene in character 😿😿 Do you have any tips for writing them accurately even though the story's separate from canon ?? 🙁🙁🙁

Oooooh okay I love to yap abt writing. Here are some of the things I try to keep in mind while writing Aoi and Nene:

• Aoi is very emotional, but she doesn’t let it show outwardly until she’s pushed to a breaking point. Keep in mind, that breaking point for her is usually something very small and petty (like Nene asking her if she can go out with Akane). It takes a lot for her to fully break down though, because she keeps so much bottled up

• She also doesn’t get along with many people. She’s kind to them but if they linger too long, things get awkward. She’s very close with Nene and Akane but that’s about it (you could say Teru has grown on her recently tho)

• Arrogance is a major character flaw of Aoi’s, when she notices Akane and Nene have been acting weird it never crosses her mind to worry about them as people, but rather how their behavior impacts her. Despite this she is shown to care about them and look out for them, she can get pretty defensive over Nene. But when conflict arises she’s mostly thinking about herself

• Nene has a similar flaw, she’s very self-centered. But she’s self-centered in the way a lot of teenagers are, she’s consumed by her own problems and has a very romanticized view of the world. She puts her friends into boxes and gets confused when they act differently from how she expects. Despite this, she shows a strong desire to want to save them- and when she truly falls in love with someone, she makes an active effort to learn more about them (even if she’s sometimes misguided with it)

• Nene is also a very impulsive character, she makes decisions fast and wants solutions to her problems fast. She tends to jump into conflict without giving it much thought, which is why she usually relies on more level-headed characters for guidance. However, she can most certainly take care of herself when she’s left to her own devices

• Aoi avoids good things because she doesn’t feel that she deserves them, whereas Nene fights tooth and nail to get a happy ending. This could create a push and pull between them, Nene wants to give Aoi all her love but Aoi needs time

• Aoi is very affectionate and forward with Nene; holding her hands, complimenting her, confronting her when she wants to talk, etc. She can also be majorly passive-aggressive tho lol

(I know I’m focusing on their flaws a lot, I don’t want to to seem like I have a negative view on either of their characters, it’s just that these are the elements I see forgotten most often)

• Nene shows her love to her friends by bullying them. This doesn’t apply to her dynamic with Aoi, she’s actually Aoi’s biggest fan girl, but it’s worth keeping in mind if you’re going to have her interacting with Hanako or Kou

• Personality-wise, Aoi is more of an introvert while Nene is an extrovert

• They’re both hopeless romantics, Aoi is just less willing to admit it

• Contrary to popular belief, Nene does notice that Aoi doesn’t talk about herself much and presumably wants to know more about her. Aoi’s attention also makes her feel special (that one’s not rly related to characterization it’s just cute lol)

• Nene’s arc centers around her becoming more mature and less attached to her fantasy world, Aoi’s arc centers around her learning to be her true self and accept good things

I know this was a lot, I wanted to be helpful so I tried to cover everything I could think of😭 Don’t feel pressured to include EVERYTHING I listed here, it’s just good stuff to keep in mind. I hope this was useful!! Happy writing <3

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

IG this might be the wrong blog to ask (do you have a main?) but what are some things you hate about the show/fandom that don’t relate to Zutara? Is “The Great Divide” really that bad? The comics? The Legend of Korra?

Okay, let's split these in categories

What I dislike about the original show

How we never really see much about the cultures of the Air Nomads and Water Tribes, and that the planned episode about Aang's parents was scrapped.

How Ty Lee basically has no arc and just went from "Hates being part of a matched set" to "Happily part of a matched set."

How Toph didn't really get any resolution with her parents, be it a reconciliation or a decision to cut contact like Zuko did with Ozai.

How the Lion Turtle wasnot introduced much earlier and instead used a Deux Ex Machina. We all know Aang won't kill Ozai, guys, you don't have to pretent, just let us know there's something Aang can to do avoid it and go revealing stuff about energybending little by little, then give us the final piece of the puzzle in the finale.

How the White Lotus was clearly a retcon that stopped making any sense after season two and that they're actually pretty fucking useless when you think about it.

How the show basically forgot that Iroh was very much a villain in season one, and for most of his life, therefore he has no right to call Azula crazy and dismiss her as a lost cause.

How Iroh says it wouldn't be right for him to kill Ozai, even if he could, because history would just see it as just a brother killing another brother for power, then IMMEDIATELY sending his 16-year-old nephew to a battle to the death with his 14-year-old niece - all while the White Lotus FINALLY decides to do SOMETHING and frees Ba Sing Se...

...Which looks horrible for Iroh when we think "Oh shit, last time he tried to capture it because he thought it was his destiny, his son died, and now he sent his nephew to a battle in which nearly dies and gets another scar while he's off trying to free that same city because of destiny again." (Seriously, when it comes to Ba Sing Se, don't let Iroh do ANYTHING other run a tea-shop in it. Somehow it always shows the ugly side of his personality).

How "Sokka's Master" is really an episode that did not need to exist at all because while Sokka had always wanted to be a warrior, he never really expressed any insecurity about being a non-bender and was only ever teased about it once. It just felt like an obligatory "The dude with no powers is important too!" episode and not a natural stepping stone of the narrative.

As for "The Great Divide" it is a pretty boring episode... but it's not as bad as people say. I don't think the original Avatar had any episodes in which nothing is important or at least creative and/or cool. I like the music in it, the world-building is kind of neat, the theme of helping refugees is pretty coherent with a show about war, and the animation changes when we are told the versions of the story on what these people hate each other was pretty cool.

What I dislike about the novelizations of the show

While some of the attempts of exploring how characters felt in some scenes really works and provides some interesting interpretations, others just fall completely flat and feel a bit OOC.

What I dislike about The Lost Adventures comics

That ridiculous story with Katara being way too pushy with Aang's training for no reason and refusing to communicate with him when he wants to talk about the kiss on the day of the invasion. She would never treat him like this.

What I dislike about the Azula In The Spirit Temple comic

The bits that remind me "Oh yeah, that's supposed to be set in the same universe of the Yang comics." Other than that, it is a pretty good stand-alone story and it allowed Azula to be turned into a deeply offensive stereotype about the mentally ill.

What I dislike about (most of) the comics and Korra

Nearly everything. Seriously, I don't know how the reception to these were mostly mixed instead of on the same level of hatred the fandom has to the Shyaman movie. The character assassination and lack of understanding of what made the original story good is EXACTLY the same, yet because it had Bryke's approval/involvement people expect me to take it as canon and it's NOT gonna happen.

What I dislike about the Netflix version

It exists. I'm sick of all the bullshit, souless remakes/reboots that are clearly just crash-grabs for companies that completely forgot they can make money AND art at the same time. I especially hate the trend of beautiful 2D animation being replaced with cheap cosplays, ugly CGI and poor lighting to pretend it is the "dark, mature version of the story"

What I dislike about the fandom itself

To make a really, really, REALLY long list very short and not really rank them 'cause it'd take forever:

1 - The blatant ableism towards Toph and Azula.

2 - The constant delusion about Avatar being "just like Game Of Thrones" and "not a kid's show."

3 - The people still insisting that the Netflix version, Korra, and the comics are good or "not that bad."

4 - The weird way some people act like Zuko was the first character to ever get a redemption arc and that everyone who does it now is taking inspiration from it.

5 - The refusal to accept that uncle Iroh was never perfect, both due to oversight of the writers AND deliberate narrative choices.

6 - The people that act like the show was trash just because of a few bad choices.

7 - The people that act like the show is perfect.

8 - The people that act like Bryke's interpretations are the only ones that matter.

9 - The inability to not harrass others for not agreeing with them.

10 - The weird, stupid people that act like Sozin and Azulon were not that bad and not just as power-hungry, racist and cruel as Ozai.

11 - The people that don't understand how Aang killing Ozai would be character assassination AND a deep betrayal of the themes and morals of the story.

12 - The people that keep losing their shit if you want a character like Azula to have a redemption arc because it'd "make Zuko's less especial" (it wouldn't, and I know that because HE WASN'T THE ONLY CHARACTER TO GET REDEEMED IN THE STORY, hell, he wasn't even the first).

13 - The downright offensive and disgusting need the fandom feels of sweeping Zuko's mistakes under the rug, no matter how bad they are, because they think he needs to be perfect otherwise he was not truly a victim of abuse.

14 - The way people just full on make shit up to support their headcanons, ships and theories.

15 - The blatant racism.

[beauty-and-passion]

sooooo, latest video

Well... it seems like there is a video XD

Jokes aside, thanks anon for letting me know Mr. Sanders posted a video that was Sanders Sides related. Kudos for that <3

Then... I have some thoughts about this video. Thoughts I will divide into pros and cons, to make everything easier to explain.

If you don’t like long posts or reading criticism of any kind, please save yourself (and myself) some time and ignore this post. I won’t get offended, I promise.

__________________________________

PROS

A real Aside

It looks like Thomas finally learned the difference between Asides and main episodes. It took him three years, but he finally realized that the Asides should be simple, no plot-related stuff. Good to see he finally got it.

(Still don’t understand why ATHD is a main episode, tho. It’s not plot-related and it’s very clearly more low-effort than FWSA and DWIT. Maybe Thomas didn’t want to leave it all by itself?)

-------------------

Some hopes for the characters

I was very relieved to see that the characters’ personalities are not completely butchered. There are a few things I will talk about in the cons section, but the overall vibe has stayed more or less the same. I’m especially relieved Virgil isn’t the fratboy he was in Thomas’ latest Instagram post, in which he talked all fratboy-esque and I almost expected him to bully me and steal my lunch.

The most in characters are Janus and Remus, which is nice to see too. Remus in particular, is still a chaotic rat man and I love him so much.

-------------------

Remus is my chaotic child

I personally think the best part of the whole video is Remus saying the others told him he could kill Bing Bong. I laughed so hard, I had to stop the video. That wonderful, chaotic rat man deserves to kill everything, as a treat <3

But actually, everything Remus says is great and that proves he’s the best, in this essay I will-

__________________________________

CONS

A weird start

Let me recap my experience while watching the video for the first time.

So, the video starts and I’m welcomed by this guy with an orange shirt and blue hat, all happy and excited. For a split second, I think he’s Patton… but then, a Patton-esque guy with a sweater appears.

Okay, now I’m confused because I have no idea what’s happening here and don’t know who these guys are - I mean, if sweater guy is Patton, who is the orange guy? The orange side was introduced and I missed it? What’s happening here? Who are they? Are those the Inside Out characters as seen by Thomas? Will these guys meet their Sanders Sides “counterparts”?

But then another guy appears and he looks like Janus, so now I’m really lost because, seriously, who are these people? They call each other by name so they should be the Sides, but they also call the orange guy “Joy”, so who is this guy? Who are they? Are they the Inside Out characters cosplaying the Sides? Or vice-versa? What’s happening here?

I got my answer, only when Virgil appeared and clarified this was all a weird roleplay.

I have several questions:

Was it really necessary?

Why?

No, seriously, why? The Sides are the first to admit they aren’t an exact match to the Inside Out characters, so why doing this? Why flatten their multifaceted roles and personalities to do this? Because Mr. Sanders isn’t able to handle them?

Okay, fine, I know why Mr. Sanders wanted to do this weird roleplay and it could’ve been fun to see the Sides acting as the Inside Out characters… if only the Sides’ personalities stayed the same. But since their personalities are not the same anymore, all the viewers feel are confusion and a weird sense of “something’s wrong here”, which they can’t exactly pinpoint.

-------------------

Wrong aesthetics and confused personalities

In order to explain this point, I will bring two examples: Janus and Roman.

First of all, Janus. I know, he’s our beloved sassy queen and we all love him… but his aesthetic in this episode was completely wrong.

Janus is a character who wears layers upon layers of clothing. That’s the first thing you get, the first thing that characterizes him. But in this episode, he wears nothing but a gilet and a scarf. He shows with bare arms, bare shoulders, a deep V-neck and doesn't wear his gloves: for his standard, he’s basically naked.

You can tell me: “It was to match Disgust’s dress”. But since Remus put his own color on the costume, why couldn’t Janus put his own twist too? He’s not doing a perfect cosplay after all. So why not wear a sheer shirt underneath the gilet, to mimic the “nakedness” without showing his skin? Or a greenish/yellow shirt to match both his and Disgust’s aesthetic? I know Mr. Sanders loves to show his skin, but since he created a character whose aesthetic is to not show skin, why “strip” him just to show some more skin? Did Mr. Sanders forgot this aspect of Janus’ character?

But if Janus had at least his face and personality to remind us who he is, Roman had nothing. Seriously, look me in the eye and tell me that, when you saw that guy in orange, you immediately thought: “Ah yes, here is Roman”. There was no way to recognize him, because he had nothing of Roman.

First of all, not a single drop of red anywhere. And I know, roleplay and whatever… but Mr. Sanders is a theater man. He knows the importance of colors. He created seven characters by associating a color to each of them. And yet, Roman appeared without a drop of red, while Remus had no problem turning Fear’s sweater into green.

That doesn't mean Roman had to turn full red, but he could wear a red accessory at least: a bracelet, a necklace, a pin on his hat, whatever. Logan’s tie was blue after all. Or wasn’t Roman allowed to put a twist on his cosplay? This weird roleplay session gives me more questions than answers :/

Second (and most important), Roman’s personality was nowhere to be found. This guy is a more obnoxious, forced version of Roman. When he talked, I didn’t see a person talking: I saw Mr. Sanders reading a script. Or better, screaming a script. Seriously, why was he so loud? Why was he screaming this much, during the roleplay session? I almost got a headache and I don’t get headaches so easily. Seriously, if I needed to hear him louder, I could’ve turned up the volume of my computer, no need to scream this much.

-------------------

The makeup and the importance of details

The dark sides’ makeup has been butchered.

Remus’ eyeshadow used to be of a deep dark black/blue/purple. So why is it so light? Because of the roleplay? But it’s still light after the roleplay. What happened, did Thomas finish the eyeshadow? It’s not too expensive, can’t he buy some more?

Same goes for Virgil: his eyeshadow is basically non-existent. And that’s even weirder, considering that in the Christmas episode, he said he wanted darker makeup to match the darkness of his soul. Does that mean his soul isn’t dark anymore?

And then, Janus. My poor, beloved Janus. His makeup used to be impressive, with scales of a deep green/yellow/brown hue: now they look more like a weird, yellow-y rash, with a thin black line crossing them (probably made with an eye pencil?).

I know Thomas doesn’t have the same makeup artist, but experts exist. And if the one he has isn’t doing their job well, then I’m sorry, but he should hire another one. That’s not being mean, that’s being real.

And before any of you says: “That’s just a detail, you’re being nitpicky”... sure, you can see it like that. But let’s say someone gives you a cake and when you see it, there are missing decorations, the fondant doesn’t fully cover the cake and the phrase “Happy birthday” is wonky. And when you eat it, it has a weird aftertaste too. Sure, it was a gift, but would you think “That was the best ever!” or would you think “Thanks, but you could’ve spent a little more time making it better”?

Heck, you can apply the same concept with this post too! If I posted something with incorrect grammar and misspelled words, would you be happy? Or would you think “man, you could’ve spent a couple more minutes to correct it”?

Skipping details doesn’t make me think you care about your work: it makes me think that either you’re lazy or don’t really care. And if you’re okay with something with missing details, good for you. But from someone with a certain degree of expertise/professionalism like Mr. Sanders, I expect something professional too.

-------------------

Subtle vs thrown in your face

I enjoy the “Janus being a wine mom” thing: it’s funny, it makes me smile, poor boy dealing with the little shits he has around, please give him wine.

But you know what’s really funny about this? That it’s subtle. It happens once in a while. It’s not thrown in the face. And it’s not thrown in the face like that, with Sides luring Janus with wine, almost as if he’s an alcoholic and you can use wine to make him do anything.

Also because the whole “Janus loves wine” thing doesn’t work too well with the functions he embodies. I mean, this guy is responsible for lies. Do you really think lies and alcohol work well together? You need to be extremely lucid and focused to be a good liar. And I don’t think I have to explain to you why alcohol and self-preservation don’t work well together either.

So seeing him with a glass once in a while is funny, but seeing him being all like “you promised me wine” as if wine is his drug… that’s not funny.

Speaking of things that are funny when not thrown in the face, let’s talk about “falsehood” too.

Just like the wine, falsehood was funny when it came once in a while. It wasn’t a switch you could press and bam, Logan says “Falsehood!”. It was a momentarily outburst because Logan’s main reaction isn’t to yell: Logan’s main reaction is to explain things by using cold logic. Because that’s who he is: logic.

So, when I see him dropping a “falsehood” like this, I don’t enjoy it. I feel it old and stale. And it saddens me too, because it looks like Thomas is using the easiest bait to get his fans’ attention. A bit like a bunch of dangling keys: see? Your favorite character says his catchphrase! Now laugh!

-------------------

Apollo gave me the gift of prophecy (or maybe it was just too obvious this would happen)

Right after Roman stops screaming, Virgil starts screaming. And he does it in the most out-of-character way, for the most out-of-character reason.

Since the Q&A episode from season one, Virgil was the first one to tell Thomas that Anxiety looks different for anyone and that he specifically chose the dark persona to keep “everyone’s guard up”.

So why is he complaining so much about a movie representation of Anxiety now? And why should everyone remind him that hey, Anxiety looks different for everyone? He should already know that. He was the first to tell that.

Do you know what this is? No, not a pathetic excuse to talk about a trending topic (i.e. Inside Out). It’s proof I was fucking right and of course I was, because I experienced it too.

What did I say in my old post about the problem with this series? That SaSi doesn’t have an outline. And what happens when you don’t have an outline and, instead of focusing on that project/writing an outline, you do 20 other different things instead? That more time will pass. And the more time will pass, the more you will forget things you already talked about.

Like, you know, a topic from season 1 that was clarified, over and done by the same character who now forgot it.

-------------------

The golden goose will never die

Call me a conspiracy theorist or just an old hag with a heart of stone. But I really would like to know the real reason why, deep down, Thomas made this video.

I doubt it was because he missed the Sides and wanted to do something with them. He doesn’t miss them the slightest, it’s quite clear. He doesn’t even care enough to remember what their personalities are supposed to be, how can he "miss" them?

But oh look, there was new merch to advertise. And Inside Out is a trending topic and the fandom knows about the association between SaSi and the movie. So if Mr. Sanders makes the right video at the right time, he can get a lot of views with minimal effort.

But he should advertise a shirt with all Sides in, so he can’t just make a video about Virgil reacting to a trailer: he needs all of the Sides to be there. So, let’s rush a video with the first idea that popped into his mind: that Virgil doesn’t like the Inside Out take on Anxiety.

Maybe that’s not what truly happened in his mind and behind the scenes. Maybe Mr. Sanders really just wanted to make a video with the Sides and I’m a cynical, heartless person. Personally, I would be way happier to know I was wrong and there weren’t ulterior motives behind this video.

But without any actual proof, I won’t believe this video was made just for passion. Passion doesn’t make you skip details. Passion doesn’t make you put on a sloppy video, without taking two more minutes to check if your characters are IC or the topic you want to talk about makes sense.

Believe me, I’m very sad to say this. I don’t want to think all of this. I always try to be optimistic and think good of people. But if this is what I get, how can I believe this video was made with good intentions and no ulterior motives? Especially since it’s coming from a guy who can be accurate, detail-oriented, and very subtle while acting? He did all of this in the past: now it looks like he forgot everything.

If you want to still watch this Aside, do it. If you enjoy it, even better. For me, that was just a tiny waste of time and it left me nothing except a momentary smile. At the end of the day, I don’t even care enough to watch it twice. And for me, that's a failure, coming from a series I used to watch on repeat.

[lingthusiasm]

Transcript Episode 93: How nonbinary and binary people talk - Interview with Jacq Jones

This is a transcript for Lingthusiasm episode 'How nonbinary and binary people talk - Interview with Jacq Jones'. It’s been lightly edited for readability. Listen to the episode here or wherever you get your podcasts. Links to studies mentioned and further reading can be found on the episode show notes page.

[Music]

Gretchen: Welcome to Lingthusiasm, a podcast that’s enthusiastic about linguistics! I’m Gretchen McCulloch. Today, we’re getting enthusiastic about nonbinary speech with Dr. Jacq Jones. They’re a lecturer at Te Kunenga ki Pūrehuroa / Massey University in Auckland, New Zealand. But first, our most recent bonus episode was about various kinds of fun mishearings and missayings and misparsings that people make in songs, in phrases, in idioms – all sorts of, like, you know when you hear “an acorn,” and you think it might actually be “an egg-corn” because it’s like the egg of the tree? Well, we talk about what strange things that you mishear, or misparse, can tell us about how language works. Go to patreon.com/lingthusiasm to listen to this bonus episode, many more bonus episodes, and help us keep the show running.

[Music]

Gretchen: Hello Jacq!

Jacq: Hi Gretchen!

Gretchen: Thanks for coming on the podcast.

Jacq: Thanks for inviting me. It’s awesome.

Gretchen: Before we get into all of the cool research that you’ve done about how nonbinary people talk that you’re working on, let’s talk a little bit about your origin story. How did you get into linguistics?

Jacq: Okay, well, I mean, how far back do you wanna go, I guess? I was a high school dropout. I was in my teens. I was going around North America, in Canada and the United States, working and this and that. I decided I wanted to go back to school. I did get into an adult education programme and finished up my high school. It was in a really small town in rural Alberta. It had a community college, and they didn’t have that many classes. I went into geography.

Gretchen: That’s super related to linguistics.

Jacq: You’d be surprised.

Gretchen: Great.

Jacq: Yeah, because I had spent time in the southern United States and in Alberta and in Ontario and things, and so I liked seeing all the different places. I went into geography. For people who don’t know, geography has these two big branches. There’s physical geography and human geography. Physical geography is rocks and trees and mountains and weather, and human geography is how people affect the world and how the world affects people.

Gretchen: So, like cities and stuff.

Jacq: Yeah, right. So, I was sitting in a class, and we were talking about how goods move across borders and how a lot of human influences – including language and political borders – can affect the movement of goods and, alternatively, how languages can be stopped by things like mountains.

Gretchen: Oh! Okay.

Jacq: You’ll have dialects that won’t go over the top of a mountain because you have this physical barrier. I was like, “That’s amazing.” Somehow, something about this interaction between this natural world and something like language, which is very, sort of, in your heads – but of course, you’re not gonna walk up a mountain to go talk to the person on the other side.

Gretchen: I live in Montreal, which doesn’t even really have a mountain by proper mountain-people standards, and I don’t wanna walk up that mountain just to talk to someone at the top. I totally understand that prehistoric people also did not wanna do this.

Jacq: Exactly. People, you know, live along rivers, so you have languages and language change and language contact all along these natural systems. That was the bug.

Gretchen: That’s fascinating. That’s so cool.

Jacq: And then I went from this community college – this adult education programme – to university, took a linguistics class, and as they say, that was it. Fell in love with phonetics and acoustics and all the meaty bits inside of you that create language. And here we are.

Gretchen: You do sounds – phonetics, how people talk – and specifically, I first encountered your research when I was in New Zealand last year at the New Zealand Linguistic Society Annual Meeting in Dunedin. You were giving a talk about your dissertation on how nonbinary people talk. How did you get into that topic?

Jacq: Sure. I think for most linguists, if you can press them, for most people in academia, what you’re into – there’s always something personal in it. There’s always something in what you’re doing. As a nonbinary person, navigating the 2010s – the late 2010s – trying to navigate what “gender” means, I kept catching myself really interrogating, really thinking about how I interact with people around me and what assumptions they’re going to put on me, what assumptions I’m putting on myself. You know, I’m getting on the bus, how low do I wanna talk to the bus driver? Just really silly stuff like that.

Gretchen: Like, are they gonna “sir” or “ma’am” me to show how they’re parsing my gender?

Jacq: Exactly. And do I want either of those options? Not really.

Gretchen: Which are both wrong.

Jacq: But if I can barely figure out what being nonbinary means to me as a nonbinary person, how can I expect the, you know, 60-year-old parent that I’m talking to, or a random person at the coffee shop I’m talking to, to understand all these backflips that I’m trying to do in presenting my gender? I mean, I’m into phonetics. I’m into acoustics. I’ve always been interested, linguistically, in this space between “This is how people talk because they are from Canada,” “This is how people talk because they’re a woman” – or because they’re a certain socio-economic class, or this – versus “This is how a jock or a burnout talks,” “This is how somebody asserts their identity.” When you’re looking at gender, that’s really this difference between a lot of stuff that we’re taught growing up and a lot of stuff that people might argue is inherent – a lot of stuff that is constrained by physiology, in some ways, by your existence in a meat suit – but you still always have control over it. That’s where this is. Part of it is being nonbinary and wanting that legitimacy of examining the numbers and proving that I exist, and nonbinary people exist, which are not represented historically. That’s changing now. And so, wanting that studying me and people like me to show “Hey, we exist. This is a thing that we can measure. This is a thing that we can look at,” and studying why, and yeah.

Gretchen: If you study all the other nonbinary speakers, then they’ll just tell how you need to talk now. So, that’ll be really handy.

Jacq: I mean, that’s part of it, too, right, is something that’s really exciting about studying nonbinary people during my dissertation – and I think that this is very much changing for the better, and I’m so happy that there are so many more options for young people in terms of gender and for old people in terms of gender and for anybody in terms of gender, but at the time, it really felt like all the templates that were out there were very binary – all the methodologies for studying speech, all of variation studies, everything, was, “This is how men talk,” “This is how women talk,” “This is how you’re supposed to talk if you’re a man or a woman,” or you want to present yourself – it was all binary.

Gretchen: I remember even when I was just being trained at grad school, everything was very binary. People weren’t even really questioning that. Even 10 years later, it seems like there’s been a lot more people thinking that through.

Jacq: Exactly. That is so amazing. From the point of view – putting on the researcher hat – studying it at the point where the speakers are making these first decisions without any templates – without a YouTube person to look at to model this kind of language on – felt really exciting.

Gretchen: And then somebody else who’s doing this study in another 10 years or 20 years or something when possibly nonbinary identity may have coalesced a bit more, then they have this to compare to as a baseline to see – it’s not often we get to watch a new gender evolve in real time. I mean, that’s not quite true because non-cis people have always existed, but the coherent, legible, nonbinary category, we get to watch it evolve in real time.

Jacq: Exactly. Traditionally, in these linguistic studies of dialect formation, that’s the 10-dollar word. You’re looking at something that’s very geographically bound. You have a group of people from one dialect that are moving to another place for another dialect. You have this contact, and you can study things coming out of that. But for nonbinary gender, even now, I can say, “Aw, there’s so many more nonbinary people out there.” I mean, realistically, if we think about our own networks, we do not have – I mean, I guess I can’t say this about everybody – but most of us don’t have a huge amount of nonbinary people in it compared to how many other LGBT people or how many other men or women – there just aren’t that many nonbinary people. We do tend to find each other, but we don’t have these big communities.

Gretchen: There’s a certain clustering, but it’s also not absolute, and there’s lots of other stuff. Do you feel like the internet has an influence on how nonbinary people talk?

Jacq: I think it does in the sense that the internet – and in particular, that kind of American sphere of the internet – influences everything that everybody does all of the time in some ways. But I also think that gender – sex and gender, in particular – these core identity things interact so strongly with where we are and our immediate context that it’s not quite as – in terms of speech, I don’t think it’s quite as strong. I did have one participant – if I can talk about my dissertation a little bit.

Gretchen: Oh, yeah, please, no, tell us about how the nonbinary people talk.

Jacq: One of my participants, Istus, is nonbinary and very femme. One of the things I talked about at that conference talk that you saw me – the slides are on my website, if you wanna take a look.

Gretchen: Excellent, we can link to those.

Jacq: Sweet. Istus is nonbinary and also very femme. This is something that really challenges the stereotypes that we have. Even me as a researcher coming into this had this idea of you have these men and women, and then you have these nonbinary people that are challenging these stereotypes, but “nonbinary” is not necessarily “non-femme.” So, Istus’s femininity was very nonbinary. When she talked about trying to construct her voice, this femininity that she wanted to get across, she would talk about putting on, basically, a Californian accent. She would say, “I can talk like this, and I sound very feminine, but I also sound like I’m smiling all the time, and I’m not that nice a person.”

Gretchen: Is Istus a New Zealander? Because you’re doing your PhD in New Zealand.

Jacq: All of my participants were from Christchurch (Ōtautahi), New Zealand. They were mostly between the ages of 18 and 22 – so this really specific first year of university cohort where you’re learning your identity and really stretching out from under your parents’ wings for the first time. I also had a couple of participants that were over 40. That’s interesting because it also challenges our stereotypes of gender as this static thing that you’re a man or a woman. When we look at how language can change over time, we don’t always think about how the people that are speaking can change over time.

Gretchen: A lot of the most visible nonbinary people are younger, but there’re also older people who are saying, “Oh, these young people have described a word for this thing that I’ve felt my whole life, and actually, I’m also this identity, and now there’s a word for it.”

Jacq: Absolutely. I mean, being a 45-year-old nonbinary person, you don’t necessarily want to speak like a 20-year-old nonbinary person, right.

Gretchen: Totally.

Jacq: If 20-year-old nonbinary people are trying to navigate what sex and gender is, if you’re 40, there’s that much more history of trying to figure all of this out.

Gretchen: Absolutely. Going back to Istus, who is the subject of the talk that you gave at the New Zealand Linguistic Society, one of the things that struck me about this talk when you were doing it is that you had participants take selfies of what they wearing at the same points as they were doing recordings. They did a bunch of recordings with different people in different environments, so you could see how they changed how they talked in relation to both what they’re wearing and also who they’re talking to.

Jacq: Absolutely. Because I think all of us have this experience of thinking about how we’re perceived by somebody else. That perception, for many of us, isn’t limited to just our voices. We don’t exist as a voice that wanders around in the ether.

Gretchen: We are not disembodied voices. We are meat suits wearing clothing suits.

Jacq: Yes. Which is super frustrating for many people, too. I call these recordings “in the wild” because I had this idea of David Attenborough following – “And here, he encounters the cis person.” But yeah, knowing that how we choose to present ourselves in that way is gonna change the way that we talk. This is pretty established. Also, the person that we’re talking to is gonna change the way that we talk. If you’re talking to your parent, you’re gonna talk to them differently than if you’re talking to your boss. We know this. But I was particularly interested in the way that these gendered relationships are navigated for nonbinary people.

Gretchen: Do you have an example of how some of your participants talked differently with different people?

Jacq: One example is Istus would play with makeup in really interesting ways. When I had the participants come, they would show me their selfies of these recordings, and I’d say, “Describe this outfit to me,” so I could see what they found really important because what you choose to wear has a lot more different – like, you know what is significant to what you’re wearing versus you don’t know if I’m wearing my lucky socks. That kind of thing.

Gretchen: Yeah, I dunno if your socks are lucky. I dunno if this is, like, the same shirt I’ve been wearing for three days which gives it a different valance to me compared to “Oh, yeah, this is my favourite shirt that I never wear, and I only wear on special occasions.”

Jacq: Istus didn’t have this in a picture, but she described her “stealth outfit,” which was every aspect of the outfit presented very masculine – sort of a suit jacket and loafers and this kind of thing. But every minute aspect of the clothing was actually feminine. The buttons were on – I can’t remember what side buttons are supposed to be on – but the buttons were on –

Gretchen: Neither can I.

Jacq: – the buttons were on –

Gretchen: The feminine side.

Jacq: Yeah, and the shoes were from the women’s section. There was this whole stealth coding that Istus was doing for herself – not for other people unless they’re cued in.

Gretchen: If she needs to go about as someone who doesn’t want her gender remarked on that particular day.

Jacq: Yeah, then she can choose where that gets presented. She would also wear different kinds of makeup. She would describe it as “enough eyeshadow so you can’t see the bags under my eyes” was one of her quotes.

Gretchen: Love it.

Jacq: The other quote was “makeup for the sake of wearing makeup” versus makeup that you would wear sort of a more natural face. You’ll forgive me if I get any of this wrong. I am not a makeup person. It was interesting because the – in her voice – the feminine cues that she used would change based on how overt her makeup was.

Gretchen: This is something that stood out to me about your talk, the makeup thing, because I’m very femme, I’m very cis. To me, I want all of my gender vectors or all of my gender points in the femme tally. But what Istus did in this thing was, if she was wearing makeup, she would do less femme gender vocal cues, like she’s counterbalancing the gender points, and as long as you have enough in the femme category and enough in the masc category, then it balanced in her head for whatever her personal definition of “balanced” is, which isn’t how I approach gender but is a really interesting thing that I learned from your talk.

Jacq: Aw, thank you. I’m glad that you found it interesting. Yes, Istus – and this is a theme throughout all of the participants. I should say that I also interviewed binary participants – men and women – and there were certain themes there, too. I don’t want to leave them all the way out.

Gretchen: Totally. You gotta have a control group.

Jacq: Yeah. But for the nonbinary participants, there was this – in my dissertation, I called it “incongruence” – but this idea that if you want to create some kind of mixed signal or if you wanna create something that isn’t quite in the two boxes that the people who are listening to you maybe have, then you can either take cues from both, or you can try to find some kind of middle ground. Those are two quite different things. Something very overtly feminine in your physical presentation combined with something a little bit less feminine or more masculine in maybe your vocal presentation, that can still get to something that isn’t binary in a way different than being very neutral-sort-of-middle-ground is.

Gretchen: The neutral-middle-ground is like, “I’m just gonna wear a hoodie and jeans because every gender can wear a hoodie and jeans, and then nobody will be able to perceive me as any gender at all,” whereas in a clothing way, doing something that has mixed signals would be like, “Okay, I’m gonna have a beard and also this super sparkly eyeshadow” or something like that.

Jacq: Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And that wasn’t quite where any of my particular participants went. But the idea that if you only have these two options, and you need to create a third option, there isn’t only one way to do a third option. There isn’t only one way to be nonbinary. A lot of how you do that, I found in my dissertation, is based on your own personality, which is like, “Oh, surprise, people have agency in how they talk,” and some people don’t like wearing super sparkly eyeshadow.

Gretchen: Totally. But also, sometimes you need to do the academic version of establishing that baseline because you could say, “Well, based on my friends, a lot of them which are nonbinary, people seem to do these strategies,” but having written it down in this academically legible place and gone through and done it with some statistics or something lets you say, “Okay, here’s what we have in terms of what we know now and maybe this would change in another decade if there becomes a more socially legible category of nonbinary-ness.”

Jacq: And I think, also, part of including binary participants in this work is to bring nonbinary people into both an academic conversation that’s already happening, which is, again, that sort of talk of legitimacy and saying, “Here’s an established body of work,” and bringing a “new population” – I’m making finger quotes; they’re not actually new – but bringing a different population – an “understudied” population, let’s say – into the fold, at the same time, that allows you to interrogate what’s already there. We have this whole body of literature that ignores that nonbinary people exist –

Gretchen: But that also doesn’t ask cis people or people that we’re presuming are cis, “How did you know that you’re cis? How do you know your gender? What are you doing to signal your gender with your voice? And how much of that are you doing deliberately?”

Jacq: I think that that’s really valuable, too, the idea that – I mean, there’s nothing that says a cis person isn’t allowed to think about masculinity, or how they present masculinity, or how they present femininity, or what that means. I mean, personally, I think it would be really useful if more cis people did that. If more people just thought about gender in ways that weren’t binary, talking to the binary men and women in my study, I was a little bit surprised, but it was amazing to see – I mean, some people never thought about it. There’s questions about “How do you feel about being a woman?” or being a man, and people said, “I dunno. I never thought about it. It just felt right.” But not everybody. Some of the participants that I spoke to did deeply interrogate their gender at some point in their lives. One of my cis male participants talked about thinking that maybe they were trans for a while and then realising they weren’t. I think the fact that we, as people – and also, we as linguists doing these studies on language – can interrogate even binary gender from these perspectives is really valuable.

Gretchen: This was something that came up in a recent episode that we did about the vowel space and how gender affects the vowel space, which we can link to. One of things that I find neat about that research is that even kids who haven’t gone through puberty yet who still have all identical vowel spaces or vowel spaces with as much variation as they have in heights but nothing specifically affected by the physical changes of puberty are still doing social genders and actually have different vowels based on the genders in their heads even though their bodies aren’t affecting what sounds they can produce yet.

Jacq: That works the other direction, too. We often think of puberty as this thing where a bunch of stuff happens to you, and then you pop out the other end like, talking and looking like –

Gretchen: A gender, now.

Jacq: A gender. You are this. But that’s not – I mean, the variation that almost any given human can produce is so much wider than the constraints of physiology. I’m not the only person to look at this. I know that Viktoria Papp has done really excellent work with transmasc people. Lal Zimman also works with transmasc populations a lot, too. You can take testosterone, and it can thicken your vocal folds, and it can create a drop in pitch, but that’s not what it means to talk like a man if you’re transmasc. That’s not the end of it. At the risk of summing up someone else’s research in two sentences, what you tend to see, I think, in Vietze’s work is a drop, an initial drop, from testosterone, and then it kind of pops back up again with the idea that, as people become more comfortable in their bodies and in their lives and in their situations, there’s less pressure to perform some stereotypical masculinity and more to just be the person they are, the transmasc person they are, or the nonbinary person they are.

Gretchen: That sounds neat. We can link to that study so that if people want to hear more than the two-sentence summary version, they can follow up on that.

Jacq: And Lal Zimman’s work is amazing. Every single thing that Lal has written is fantastic, too.

Gretchen: Yes. Everyone’s in the Lal Zimman fan club. So, you have a corpus, which is delightfully called, I think, “The RAINBO Corpus.”

Jacq: Yeah, “Recorded Audio-visual Interviews with nonbinary and Binary Orators. It’s “RAINBO” without a W.

Gretchen: Oh, and it spells “RAINBO” – that’s so good!

Jacq: For the sake of the acronym.

Gretchen: That’s such a beautiful acronym. You have six nonbinary participants in there, and six binary participants, and they held this speech that you looked at the pitch of it, and you’ve looked at how they do their vowels and things. You also have a talk and a paper, I think, you’re working on that’s co-authored with one of those research participants who then de-anonymised themself from the previous anonymous corpus work that they were in.

Jacq: Yeah.

Gretchen: I find this really interesting because there’s this interesting balancing act in academic between, “Oh, I’ve got a research participant. They’ve got sensitive data. I’m going to preserve their anonymity,” and also, sometimes when people are telling us really interesting things about their lives or their language choices or their identities, giving them credit for that intellectual contribution to the work which names them – yeah, can you talk about this balancing act about participant and researcher collaboration?

Jacq: Absolutely. I would love to. I’ve been thinking about it a lot. I don’t want to portray myself as an expert. There is a whole other body of work where your collaborators, your language consultants, work very closely with the researcher, but that’s not always the same methodology as the bigger picture, what we call “variationist,” studies where we’re trying to look at large groups of people and how they speak. Kaspar is the name of the person that I worked with. And I got their permission before this episode – I asked them how they wanted to be referred, and they said, “Okay.” We’ll call them Kaspar, which is great because that’s their name, so it’s super easy for me to remember.

Gretchen: But they also had a pseudonym in the study originally.

Jacq: Yeah. In the study, if you read my dissertation – which you don’t have to, but if you do – in the study, they were called “Alex.”

Gretchen: Dissertations are notably very long and, often, in the years after a dissertation comes out, people will write some shorter papers that summarise small bits of the dissertation. Keep an eye on Jacq and their website. Maybe there’ll be shorter versions. But if you really wanna read the whole dissertation or skim through it and pick out the bits that look interesting to you, we will link to it.

Jacq: I had set up, for my dissertation, you know, as a – I think there’s something else. Dissertations are a long work, and you’re learning as you go. That’s the point. When you’re planning these ethics and all of the things in planning this dissertation, you go through the process that has already been established. I did that. It’s fine. Kaspar came and was recorded. It ended up, as it happens, after I had done my data collection, Christchurch is not a huge place. Kaspar and I were in the same social circles, and we became friends after the data collection. Every once in a while, we would talk about the work that I was doing and stuff I was studying because they were super interested. They have a background in mathematics, and they’re familiar with linguistics, so it’s not like they knew nothing about linguistics.

Gretchen: So, when you were showing them some pretty graphs, they were like, “Oh, cool, graphs. I like those.”

Jacq: Yeah. And then I can’t remember if I asked them or they offered to do some proofreading before I had submitted it, and I sent them a draft. I got it back, and there were smiley faces and frowny faces on a lot of stuff. Then because we’re friends, we went and hung out and talked about it, and there’s something different. You’re participating in research. You’re getting recorded. And then research comes out. You know that you’re maybe nonbinary. You’re this population. And then you see yourself on a graph that plots your pitch somewhere, and you know what the stereotypes about feminine pitch and masculine pitch are. I mean, I did a bad thing in that sense. I hurt somebody, right, in not earth-shattering ways, I don’t think – or at least Kaspar didn’t tell me it was earth-shattering.

Gretchen: But in frowny face ways, yeah.

Jacq: And we share this perspective of the importance of examining new populations using established methodology and these traditional ways of doing things to grant – whatever you wanna call it – some kind of legitimacy from the academy – or however we wanna navigate this – but then this is still real people that are given little dots or little diamonds and plopped on a graph. I can say in 300 words how this isn’t meant to tell people how gendered they are; this is meant to examine nonbinary people and compare them on equal footing with binary populations, but of course, nonbinary people don’t come to the table with no baggage, with nothing behind them. You come, and you come with a gendered upbringing, a gendered – you exist in a world, right. You can’t just not.

Gretchen: Totally.

Jacq: That was really hard. We had a lot of conversations about that through the course of proofreading a dissertation and submitting it and trying to get to a point. And I didn’t have – because of the way that the ethics works – I couldn’t contact every other participant afterward and get the same insights and things. But it’s not all bad. Kaspar expressed to me how interesting it was and how amazing it was to see their plots there and the joy of seeing themself not in the ASAB cohort that they expected versus the sadness when they came a little bit too close or that kind of thing. We gave a talk about this and, hopefully, a paper that examines that a little bit more. The other benefit is that, now I have a collaborator and a co-author, it means that we can do a lot more really interesting stuff with data.

Gretchen: Well, and if they know all this math, you can do such cool math.

Jacq: And we can track them over time, and we can do new recordings and even stuff about how these interviews with people, or these recordings, are still a snapshot in time. Things aren’t static. People change, and people’s interpretations of themselves are reinvented constantly. I’m really excited. Watch for that paper.

Gretchen: That sounds really cool and really exciting. We will look forward to the Jacq-Kaspar collaboration, Kaspar-Jacq collaboration. You can keep swapping your names for who goes first if you do a whole bunch of different co-authorships like people do.

Jacq: It made me glad that I wasn’t recording myself.

Gretchen: Were you sometimes interviewing or the interlocutor?

Jacq: Yeah. We did these “in the wild” recordings, and then we had the traditional sociolinguistic interview with all of these questions. We recorded me at first thinking there might be accommodation stuff, but then it’s also just like, I can’t transcribe, like, 400 million hours of –

Gretchen: So, “linguistic accommodation” is the thing where, when you’re talking with someone, especially if you like them or you’re trying to get along with them, you talk more like the person you’re talking to, which happens to lots of people lots of the time. I certainly do it. And you were thinking, well, maybe if people are talking more like you when they’re talking with you, then that might shift things, but also, you end up with a lot of data.

Jacq: Yeah, that’s true. It ended up doing a little bit of spot checking. It didn’t seem quite there because of these outsider-insider relationships of I am Canadian sitting in New Zealand interviewing people. There was enough of a gulf that it didn’t seem –

Gretchen: They didn’t all start sounding Canadian when you were interviewing them. I’m shocked.

Jacq: They weren’t like, [stereotypical Canadian accent] “Oh, hey, thanks for interviewing me.”

Gretchen: Maybe this is a good segue actually because you’re a fellow Canadian, hello, “Welcome to the podcast, eh” – [laughter] – who’s been living in New Zealand for nine years now.

Jacq: Yeah, almost a decade.

Gretchen: Amazing. We’ve had a previous interview with Ake Nicholas talking about Cook Islands Māori if people want to hear someone with a more New Zealand accent.

Jacq: Actual New Zealand accent.

Gretchen: An actual New Zealand accent. But this is presumably a linguistic experience for you. Do you wanna say anything about what it’s been like? Do you talk differently to people other than me who don’t have a similar Canadian accent?

Jacq: It’s kind of hard to know. I think there’re a few things. I noticed about four or five years in that I was losing my Canadian raising. We had gone somewhere, and I said, “Aw, look at those three houses.” I was like, “Ah! What did I just do?” Instead of saying /haʊsəz/, I said /haʊzəz/. I was like, “Ugh.” Which is funny because when I lived in Canada, I never noticed Canadian raising. It was one of those things that was so –

Gretchen: So, Canadian raising, which we actually haven’t talked about on Lingthusiasm yet – so maybe someday in the future –

Jacq: What!

Gretchen: – is the thing that is responsible for the differences between how I say the vowel in “house” [noun] versus “house” [verb] or in “height” versus “high” – “height,” “high,” “house,” “house.” I will say, I don’t Canadian raise that much, so it’s a difference in terms of how you say the vowel between /t/ and /d/ or /s/ and /z/. There’re some people who say something like, “about,” more like /əboʊt/. There’s a stereotype that Canadians say /əbʊt/, and that’s not true. I want to correct that right now. People in lots of other English-speaking environments don’t do this Canadian raising, and you noticed that you were stopping doing it. Anecdotally, I also notice people that move to Canada do start doing more Canadian raising, so this seems to be one of the ones that’s flexible in people’s speech.

Jacq: Yeah, I think that’s true. It’s funny because it’s so stereotyped in Canada. I don’t think it’s as strong as the stereotype, but it’s definitely sticky in a weird way. I did lose it. But probably, in this interview, it’s back.

Gretchen: It clicks back in.

Jacq: Yeah.

Gretchen: Any other things that you’ve noticed?

Jacq: I remember when I first landed in New Zealand – so New Zealand is non-rhotic. There’s no R. Words that are spelt E-A-R, like “ear,” and words that are spelt A-I-R, like “air,” have merged, so they’re pronounced the same. I was sitting on the airplane waiting to disembark, and the announcer came on, and they said, “Could everyone exit via the /ɹiəɹ stiəɹz/?”

Gretchen: Oh. [Laughs]

Jacq: I had this moment of, like, cows stacked up at the back of a plane. Like, and it’s sat with me, and I think it’s because the context wasn’t quite enough for me to get – but I was like, “Rear steers? Rear steers. What?”

Gretchen: Well, it’s what you exit the “ear-plane” by, obviously.

Jacq: “When you exit the ear-plane by the rear steers, or alternatively, exit the airplane by the rare stairs,” which are the stairs that they don’t bring out that often.

Gretchen: We have to save the rare stairs and the fine china for guests.

Jacq: Exactly.

Gretchen: That’s exactly the kind of thing that, especially, when you’re hitting something out of context, and they seem to be more fond of using that, so if you weren’t used to that particular phrase, either, it would catch.

Jacq: Yeah, and I mean, you’re also in a new place and all of this, and you’re trying to pay attention because you have to do what the airplane people tell you because that’s the rules. I have one more anecdote that is very deeply only Canadian and New Zealand overlap.

Gretchen: Please, I wanna hear it.

Jacq: Maybe this is only western Canada. We’ll see. So, Gretchen, what do you call the front row of seats in the classroom?

Gretchen: Oh, that’s where the “keeners” sit.

Jacq: That’s where the “keeners” sit, right, that’s the “keener” seats, right?

Gretchen: I dunno if I have “keener seats” specifically as a phrase, but like, absolutely, totally understand you when you say this.

Jacq: So, if somebody’s a “keener,” that’s the person at the front of the class, yeah.

Gretchen: Absolutely, yeah. I have told people about this Canadianism myself.

Jacq: Amazing! I’m glad it’s a super salient Canadianism.

Gretchen: I’ve introduced Lauren to it, in fact.

Jacq: So, it’s not a thing in New Zealand. They don’t have keeners, but New Zealanders say “keen” all the time.

Gretchen: Oh, but for something different.

Jacq: You’ll say – and apologies to any New Zealanders if I get these pragmatically a little bit wrong – but you’ll say, “Ah, I’m going for coffee. Is anyone keen?” Or you might say, “Ah, the movie’s coming out next week,” and someone else might say, “Keen,” like they’re keen to go.

Gretchen: Oh, okay, yeah, I think I could say, “I’m keen to go,” but not “keen” by itself in a phrase like that.

Jacq: No, and I think that my impression – my 8-year-old, 9-year-old Canadian impression – is that you don’t really use “keen” – because it has a little bit of that odd, negative – I mean, it’s a “keener” thing, so unless you’re really claiming –

Gretchen: That you’re a big fan of Star Wars, and you’re a Star Wars keener, and you definitely have to go see the new one.

Jacq: If you’re keen to go to Star Wars, you wanna be in the front row.

Gretchen: Of course! Yeah, okay, yeah, I sort of get that. It’s not as neutral. It’s like you’re really actively excited. You’re not just like, “Oh, yeah, I’d be good to go” or like “I’d be down to go.” “I’d be keen to go” is like, “I’d be so keen to go! That would be great!” not just like, “It’d be fine.”

Jacq: Yeah, but if you’re keen, you’re like, “Yeah, I could” – if you wanted to be extra, you could double up the New Zealandisms and you could be “keen as.”

Gretchen: Oh, yeah, I’ve heard the “as.”

Jacq: You could be “keen as,” but I don’t know – that’s where my knowledge of New Zealand lexical items stops is at “as.”

Gretchen: I love “keener” as a Canadianism because my prof friends will be like, “Oh, one of my keeners came to my office hours today,” and they’ll mean that student who’s always asking really good questions and is really excited to be there and stuff like that. It’s very positive when my prof friends who were all themselves keeners back in the day use it. Maybe some people use it negatively, but I sure don’t know any of them.

Jacq: If you are a keener, then “keener” is quite positive, but maybe less so if you're not.

Gretchen: Maybe less so. So, you finished your PhD, and you’re teaching now. I have been told that you make students stab themselves with toothpicks for science. Can you tell us about that?

Jacq: I would love to tell you about that, with a caveat: I tell students to very carefully try not to stab themselves with toothpicks, but it doesn’t quite translate. I teach phonetics, which involves learning about all of the sounds and how we make them. If you’re a speaker of English, you might be familiar with this little sound called “R.”

Gretchen: R is a sound, yes, that I’m familiar with.

Jacq: The alveolar approximate, the /ɹ/ noise. The R sound, the /ɹ/, can be made about 16 million different ways. There’s something like eight or nine different things that you can do with your mouth that will get you close enough to /ɹ/ for people to understand you.

Gretchen: Oh, wow. When I was learning phonetics, they told us there were two different ways, and there’s actually six or eight of them.

Jacq: There’s two different tongue positions, and that’s where the toothpick comes in. But you can also do – there’s different stuff with the back of your mouth. Some people have lip rounding, and some people don’t. Some people raise this and that – yeah, there’s different ways to do it. But you were right when you were learning phonetics.

Gretchen: But because it all produces approximately the same sound, kids just hear adults making the sound, and they experiment with their mouths to produce The Sound, and because the meat suit part of our throats is kind of squishy, you can manipulate it in different ways and end up with the same thing that comes out.

Jacq: You get close enough. In English, we don’t have a lot of other stuff in that area, too. When you think about it, if you’re a kid, if you think about something like a /p/, if you’re a baby looking at a caregiver going /p/, you can really see that, right, but a /ɹ/, you get a face, and you don’t really know what’s going on.

Gretchen: You just get a blank face. You can’t see what they’re doing. With something like a /k/, you can’t necessarily see what they’re doing, but the sound is very distinct that they’re making. /ɹ/ is this approximate sound, which is why it’s called an “approximant” in the International Phonetic Alphabet because it’s just sort of like, “Eh, I dunno.”

Jacq: Close enough, yeah. What you get is you have this sound where there’s a bunch of different ways to make it, and also a bunch of speakers that don’t really know how they make it. When you say something like a /k/, you make that sound, and you’re like, “Oh, my tongue goes here.” But when you’re making a /ɹ/, it changes – depending on where it is in the word – all this stuff. As you learned in your phonetic class, there are two ways that your tongue can be shaped when you’re making a /ɹ/ sound. This may blow some people’s minds because they never thought about it before and didn’t realise that the other way is possible. The two big ways are – they have a million different names because of course they do – but one is called the “bunched R,” usually.

Gretchen: This is when your R, like the back part of your tongue sort of crunches up or gloms up into a bit of a shape at the back that doesn’t actually touch the roof of your mouth.

Jacq: The back of your tongue is all crunched up, and the front of it is down at the bottom of your mouth. The other way to do it is often called the “retroflex R,” or the “curly R,” so you have bunch-y R and curly R. The curly R – the retroflex R – the front of your tongue is curled up and back a little bit.

Gretchen: It’s almost like the tip of the bottom of your tongue is touching, or almost touching, the roof of your mouth.

Jacq: Yes. Which one do you make? It’s hard to –

Gretchen: I know which one I make!

Jacq: Awesome! One of the important points of science is confirmatory analysis. You should replicate this finding and see if it still holds true. If you wanna know which R you make, there’s a way that you can do this with just a toothpick. It’s really easy. All you do is you take a toothpick, a clean one – and make sure you wash your hands – and then you take your toothpick, and you make an R sound – /ɹ/ – or you can pretend you’re a dog and go [imitates dog growl], something like that, just make your /ɹ/ noise. Then you take your toothpick, and you rest it on your bottom teeth or however you wanna – kind of have it centrally into your mouth – and as you go /ɹ/, slowly and carefully, and not stab-ily, put the toothpick into your mouth, and then go, “bleh,” stick your tongue out. The toothpick will either be touching the top of your tongue or the bottom of your tongue.

Gretchen: Whoa! And this tells you which R you have?

Jacq: Yes. And if it’s touching the bottom of your tongue, you’re making a retroflex – you’re making a curly R. And if it’s touching the top of your tongue, you’re making a bunched R.

Gretchen: So, you’re either a curler or a buncher, and you can tell this based on which side you are. I actually went looking for toothpicks so that I could try this and ended up finding a cotton swab, like a Q-Tip, before I saw my toothpicks, and so I tried this with a cotton swab and did not stab myself. This is the safety conscious version you can do if you like because it also works.

Jacq: As long as it’s clean and your hands are clean, that’s a good, safe way to do it.

Gretchen: I’m a buncher, which I thought I was, and I have just confirmed that.

Jacq: Anecdotally, in Canada, it was usually about 50/50 when we go through classes, or we try it. This is in Alberta.

Gretchen: And in New Zealand is it also 50/50, or is it different?

Jacq: In New Zealand, there are a lot more bunchers. I think this might have to do with New Zealand being non-rhotic. I don’t have a paper on this. I don’t know anything. But there’s also a lot less lip rounding. In Canada, lip rounding is almost universal, like it’s on Rs a lot.

Gretchen: Yeah, I lip round.

Jacq: But in New Zealand, that’s not the case. Most people don’t round their lips.

Gretchen: Jacq, thank you so much for joining us on the podcast. As we ask at the end of every interview, “If you could leave people knowing one thing about linguistics, what would it be?”

Jacq: It would be that you’re the boss of your language. How you communicate with people – it’s all on you. People can tell you how they think you should talk. Even linguists can say, “Well, this is how people talk.” But if you’re not feeling it, do something different. You can change it. You can do whatever you want, communicate however you wanna communicate. Don’t let anyone tell you what to do.

[Music]

Gretchen: For more Lingthusiasm and links to all the things mentioned in this episode, go to lingthusiasm.com. You can listen to us on all of the podcast platforms or at lingthusiasm.com. You can get transcripts of every episode on lingthusiasm.com/transcripts. You can follow @lingthusiasm on all the social media sites. You can get scarves with lots of linguistics patterns on them including the IPA, branching tree diagrams, bouba and kiki, and our favourite esoteric Unicode symbols, plus other Lingthusiasm merch – like our “Etymology isn’t Destiny” t-shirts and aesthetic IPA posters – at lingthusiasm.com/merch. You can find our co-host, Lauren Gawne, on social media, and her blog is Superlinguo. Links to my social media can be found at gretchenmcculloch.com. My blog is AllThingsLinguistic.com. My book about internet language is called Because Internet. You can find our guest, Jacq Jones, on their website at jacq.land – that’s J-A-C-Q-dot-L-A-N-D. Lingthusiasm is able to keep existing thanks to the support of our patrons. If you wanna get an extra Lingthusiasm episode to listen to every month, our entire archive of bonus episodes to listen to right now, or if you just wanna help keep the show running ad-free, go to patreon.com/lingthusiasm or follow the links from our website. Patrons can also get access to our Discord chatroom to talk with other linguistics fans and be the first to find out about new merch and other announcements. Recent bonus episodes include spoonerisms, mondegreens, and eggcorns; secret codes and the joys of cryptic word puzzles; and inner voice, mental pictures, and other shapes for our thoughts. Can’t afford to pledge? That’s okay, too. We also really appreciate it if you can recommend Lingthusiasm to anyone in your life who’s curious about language. Lingthusiasm is created and produced by Gretchen McCulloch and Lauren Gawne. Our Senior Producer is Claire Gawne, our Editorial Producer is Sarah Dopierala, our Production Assistant is Martha Tsutsui-Billins, and our Editorial Assistant is Jon Kruk. Our music is “Ancient City” by The Triangles.

Jacq: Stay lingthusiastic!

[Music]

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