#it’s like nobody wants to treat them like ppl lol
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it’s so interesting to me how often you can find ed/pro ana bloggers on dni lists
#dni���s are already fascinating but this is particular#like i understand it to some extent in the sense that coming even into fringe contact with that type of stuff can be easily triggering#but it’s also like. idk. do you think people with eating disorders don’t have interests?#they can’t have other things on their dash?#it’s like nobody wants to treat them like ppl lol#and i’m saying 'them' as if i haven’t spent years following close to 20+ pro ana blogs lmao#and yeah ig maybe that’s why it’s so jarring to me#i never ran my own even tho i thought about it#idk ppl get so weird abt eating disorders even in 'leftist' spaces#but i do have to say i love when ppl have dni lists esp when they get specific#like if someone has a terfs dni or sth then i don’t think twice abt it#but those long ass lists that sometimes have dni if you follow x on here….. i’m so obsessed with the self importance#📓
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#NO LITERALLY#like the way i am treated now vs when i was fat is fucking insane#like it’s insane how many of my friends viewed me as an emotional support mule who has no life outside of them lol#also like how many of them enjoyed me being the fat friend in comparison to them#also trigger warning but i was assaulted as a fat person and i could absolutely tell my#feminist girls girl friends#didn’t take me seriously bc the man who assaulted me was conventionally attractive and i was not#so there’s that lol#also girls girl goes out the window when woc receive opprotunities buttttt#nobody wants to talk about that either lol#the whole avantika situation and ppls response is so telling likeee#if ur feminism doesn’t include all women fuck u genuinely
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TO REITERATE: I will NOT be taking any requests that are incestuous or anything that contains an adult x a child. I am NOT a proshipper nor do I support proshippers. I have tried to be polite but firm because I am a public figure here technically and I don't want to abuse any position I have or be mean.
However, that being said, I have been clear in multiple posts that I do not condone that sort of behavior or even tolerate it anywhere near me. I am no longer going to be polite.
Enough.
#crow chirps#ARENT YOU TIRED OF BEING NICE. DONT YOU WANT TO GO APE SHIT.#yes i made this because i got another inappropriate ship in my box#going to be so real i do think one of them was either the Original Guy or they were affiliated with them#this next person didnt have the exact same typing pattern but some of the wording was suspicious to me#anyways#proshippers get tf away from me challenge lol#i have been blocking people but im going to start making an example of people on top of it#basically: stop stepping on my boundaries!!!! its rude#im a person first and an artist second and i am always always going to come first#if that pisses anyone off you are free to take your leave if you so choose#not art#i do apologize for so many posts about this#ive seen friends get popular for art and people start treating them as like less than human#so im hoping that by being loud about my boundaries from the start#hopefully ppl will know to buzz off if for some reason i ever take off#i am less strict ab this with warrior cats because the source material is already completely and utterly fucked#nobody knows wtf is going on and half of thunderclan is already inbred#for warriors i'd say like. be mindful? use your judgement#but with mlp there is NO excuse
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the "what are you even talking about, like what do you mean when you say this" overlap imo between people talking about who's Bad At """conflict""" & talking about who's Bad At """"""social skills"""""" like. those supposed Social Skills being about carbonized Rituals that serve to indicate you're not a threat to each other, b/c the only reason to truly deviate from "never behaving in a way someone doesn't expect or feel they immediately understand / sympathize with" is b/c you're using more spontaneous communication to Fight, with an eventual winner/loser, and talking is just a power struggle and/or power play to assert your preestablished higher status, i.e. already being thee A Winner here
like this exhausting dynamic b/w these two bros just like talking about what they got out of [xyz] experience and how perhaps especially when you're supposed to be [the concept of Men] things are elevated re: the proximity to / frequency of fighting each other and always assessing each other's Threat Level, and these two random guys just have this tepid discussion and any time someone goes "and i also alternately/additionally thought/felt [xyz]" the other one does the bizarre like, semi exasperated? "no yeah Of Course" as though like oh we are so on the same page you didn't even have to say that and actually you're kind of an asshole for even starting to say it before i immediately cut in as soon as i realized i could agree at all to tell you to shove off with voicing it, how dare you even theoretically think i don't think exactly what you're thinking now shut up….again: exhausting
like Communication, the more freeform or extensive, is Bad, b/c you're potentially in Conflict, and conflict is fighting & being threats to each other & someone potentially needing to be crushed b/c how else do you resolve a Conflict Fight? versus like, can not the concept of A Conflict be more distilled to something so matter of fact that nobody even needs to Feel any ways about it. like the "theoretical" conflicts that would just be like. something can't happen as something hypothetically intended it to. like a scheduling conflict being, in fact, a conflict, without anyone needing to have been in the wrong for having an appointment on thursday afternoon, and without anyone needing to Concede The Point of scheduling anything on a thursday afternoon b/c they are the one who Lost w/e negotiation about how to work around this. can not "i was operating on one understanding of what's going on for you / what you're trying to do and why, and now what's happening isn't aligning with that idea that i had about how things are" be a conflict that can be resolved by perhaps talking to that person. versus assuming you must be correct b/c you're normal and so something's wrong with them and/or they're messing with you on purpose b/c they're an asshole now, and even if you realize you were wrong about something way down the line you can just be like "well sorreeee how was eye supposed to know [xyz] and i Thought i was being Nice b/c i Thought you were [xyz] so i was in the right and now you're coming after me by being like 'actually by doing that maybe you hurt or even simply inconvenienced me' like so i'm evil now?? could you not have politely let me keep stepping on your toes forever b/c i assumed something was true? and if you did ummm How Could You Be So Bad At Conflict as to know ppl respond [like this] and so instead politely let me keep stepping on your toes?????? i also resent all this"
versus if you see the conflict of "i seem to have misunderstood you / you misunderstand me" as Not Necessarily Threatening then you can comfortably just actually communicate about it. that autistic people who are used to thinking of themselves through the lens of [how others may interpret any/everything about them], having to be more aware of themself as An Other than A Self, won't assume everyone's reading everyone else's mind at all, or even think of that as the ideal approach, and will like, readily give & seek information from others to actually try to be on the same page and have this Constructive experience where you've worked together to navigate your interaction as two different people who would not somehow magically be in alignment, unless you consider the "alignment" to be the power differences that must exist and the priority in Socializing, thus what makes for "good" "social skills," is never threatening them, or god forbid Disrespecting them by Ignoring them: say, how autistic people will have less status/[the social capital] b/c of being autistic, yet the assholes will be Talking (the medium of a fight) and Asking anything of others like participation in an interaction (fighting) and btw by thinking they're Allowed to talk all freestyle rather than in the hollow scripts of "i'm amicable i'm not threatening you. directly. this may be passive aggressive" and by treating me as a mere equal they're trying to drag me down to their level and/or elevate themself to mine, and b/c this is a disruption of the power hierarchy that must exist, we have a problem, and they started it, and they're an asshole
(also: i & many people Do also consciously disrespect & ignore the [socializing = power struggles] concept & its goings on lol. and there's also ofc no real "normal" Universal social style across all cultures and groups and individuals and Misinterpretation ft. bad faith reactions happens on endless fronts. but nt people will pretend there are Rules that everyone has had to be Trained on and if you disobey you'll never deserve to be treated as a person. all "and people only smile when they're happy. unless, did i miss a memo? that frowns means happy now???" etc etc like you see it's all passive aggression or the tools of passive aggressiveness but to "help" someone without threatening them but you Can be pissed if they misunderstand, or at least know you were in the right.)
the way it's Normal(tm) to never actually think of how you don't Know someone else's thoughts/feelings, to never presume they could operate differently and for reasons you can't just accurately infer with a guess re: why You'd do it, to not try to actively undergo a mutually cooperative interaction to better understand each other / be working with the same info, but oh it's autistic people who Are doing all this who never think about how other people are different from their weirdo asses. the "social skills" of assuming wrongly, getting mad at others for supposedly realities you just made up, responding to assuming xyz & being mad about it by punishing/excluding someone & possibly getting others in on it. whilest nd people with their Wrong social existences & approaches are always navigating communicating/socializing as something to do actively & consciously to connect with & understand other people and Don't necessarily think [wow this person doesn't seem to be behaving Amicably towards me?] is a) correct or b) proof they're an enemy to defeat, b/c that's how they're generally treated? the whole time you know communication can fail and you're navigating that w/active effort & constructive intent while people who operate on [if someone does something you don't expect / not according to the script: kill or be killed. or kill just b/c you can & that's the only way you can relate to yourself/others] are like wow what an asshole who i guess doesn't want to get along with anyone so let's see them in hell.
not to mention being shut out from even basics of communication b/c socializing is about respective power levels and you do need Authority to do things like "say whatever" or "have people care about your personal experience at any time" or "say anything at all, actually" like ppl discussing things like "i don't know that i can't Read Cues, vs that i just know they might mean any number of things" vs if someone's not looking at you while you talk it can't be b/c they're actually trying to listen better, it's b/c they're ignoring you / uninterested to pwn you, if they show they relate by saying "hey yeah that's like when i [xyz]" they're one upping to pwn you, if they smile they're happy people only smile when they're happy unless did i miss a memo that frowns means happy??? b/c if someone also makes any expression it Must have been caused by You and they're letting you know as much to pwn you.....or ppl talking about how they can never jump into a conversation b/c they just Can't Get The Timing Right the way other allistic ppl can walk right up and barge in and be absorbed into the convo, or even have a [one on one convo w/ the autistic person] quickly turn into [one on one w/the newcomer, Excluding the autistic person] and other people being like, is it about our "social skills" and "timing" or is about when you' have the authoriti're understood to have the superior social status, you Deserve to do things like cut in on a whim and be listened to, timing does not matter, Not ignoring / forgetting the inferior person does not matter. like, the issue isn't always just "i tried to jump in and it went a bit awkwardly," it can be standing there and talking and being completely ignored w/o much evident conscious effort, or even the least time on some pending [choice to ignore]. you can be hypothetically In the interaction, like, allowed in the group, w/o people noticing when you talk, b/c you don't warrant Listening/Processing, or at least, the least response to indicate that and thus validate that An Exchange is occurring, versus: shut up already b/c shut up always unless someone else wants you to one word answer a question and then possibly misunderstand you w/hostility, but if you Explain anything in unasked (as it always is) depth you're a) out of line, nobody told you to talk more hence the only reason you'd be justified to do so b) defensive, also out of line when you deserve others' judgment, and/or obviously a sign of knowing you're out of line and thus doing too much to avert your just punishment c) providing info b/c you think w/o info i might be Wrong b/c i'm Dumb & Bad. no You. d) all of the above and more
and if, perhaps because trying to talk live & in person means stuff like the above, and other behaviors/mannerisms being judged as weird so let's kill them b/c obv they're killing us by being so weird, and if you're trying to be "normal" that's diminishing your ability to actually communicate or like get through your day and requires hurting yourself for the benefit of others so they don't hurt you more (spoilers. the resonance w/experiences of other instances of "you're responsible for how other ppl, who are superior / have authority, treat you, and have to 'earn' their positive treatment or even neutrality b/c you do not Already inherently deserve it," i.e. interpersonal abuse) and still won't even fully or always work (see prior parenthetical) b/c even if one person pretends things b/w multiple parties can be unilateral, it is not (see: prior)....anyways and If all that means say, someone can communicate a) more effectively and b) with less real pain & depletion via Other Mediums, like emails / otherwise written, non real time correspondance, or god forbid something so Unreasonable as real time / in person that's still not talking, with correct Tone and Inflection and Body Language and Posture and Eye Contact and Handshake and Je Ne Sais Quoi and Cut Of Your Jib and All American Interests And Sensibilities and Etcccc, like what a tyrannical demand that could just never even be considered and i have the Right to eye contact and phone call and etc etc etc (you do not) Stop Hiding (you warrant avoidance if you think no one should be able to avoid you)
and parallel to nd people having the theory of mind and social/communication skills that don't understand all interactions as asserting or vying for power or indicating you're Not threatening someone in the realm of supposed social power, and thus do not operate with that premise, the victim blaming that is "obviously that treatment is bad and i would know it is bad and not tolerate it because it is bad. so people subjected to it have to be worse than me, and deserve it more" where it's also definitely not the fault of the people issuing the treatment, b/c how could they Really know it's bad if the other person is experiencing it without Stopping them, hence telling them It's Okay??? well sorrreeeeee how was i supposed to know that [xyz] was actually hurting you, it's your fault for not blowing up at me, which would've been deemed this uncalled for reaction if you had, and now i'm mad if you're Making me feel Bad b/c that's the discomfort that really matters????? fuck you for telling me, with this kind of response why didn't you tell me?? like, uh oh, same logic at work. and that when other people keep running into the realities that actually their good faith expressing of "actually this hurts me" or more spontaneous reactions to being hurt are just taken as justifications to treat Them as some aggressor / problem creator wronging the other, ofc they aren't likely to simply keep trying that when it's not serving the purpose it "should" or supposedly Would, b/c well if only this person did xyz then nothing bad could ever happen to anyone. and when people ofc Have to become accustomed to [other person or people who can & will treat them badly if they want to, or even just thoughtlessly, b/c they can, & don't choose to do the opposite, b/c even if they're aware they've hurt someone it only matters if they feel justified / they care more about keeping their relative status (it's being autistic, it's [the Authority of Superior Status is coming from inside the house: the concept that husband owns a wife, parents own children; familial abuse])] then it's like wowww they just put up with it, it's their fault then. god forbid that even if they extricate themself from one abusive situation, they're still vulnerable, other ppl take advantage of the vulnerability & they're now in another abusive situation and are used to navigating that indefinitely, vs how someone else might have the preexisting advantage of Not being used to that, not having the experiences to navigate it more indefinitely, finding it more extraordinary & thus having more confidence in their assessment of the situation, and not having the kind of vulnerability in the first place to a) have been in such situations prior b) be stuck in this one now, including perhaps being able to expect that their feelings will matter to others and others will support/help them on that basis, or that their feelings will even be regarded as real/existent. Being Autistic.
(also, yknow, other nd experiences. like adhd classics of "but if you cared / cared to try, you would simply [xyz]" and the like. this is about the crossovers, this is about the "it's the same thing. [who has the restricted autonomy? who has the power at the expense of others' autonomy?] extended universe")
and like the idea that abused people were just Bad at """Conflict.""" and that even if they're extricated from one abusive situation, they might have xyz behaviors / approaches that aren't Normal and that Those make them "worse" at "conflict" too. that nobody "normal" could be lacking in their "normal" approach to interacting with others, neurodivergent people and others who get to be, like, Others(tm) others, definitely don't have [behaviors / experiences related to repeated trauma??] pretty across the board, they're probably just doing more fucking up at being normal which is why they don't get to be considered normal in the first place, ofc. like, what tf is Normal Joe doing to question if they're perhaps not now and have not always been and may not always be the Perfect Interactor. much less to actively try to navigate that, and assume there'll be more to learn b/c there's all these other people who are all different and all always changing. and to perhaps Try to be safe to interact with beyond "well i Mean well" "well a normal person wouldn't regard anything i did as Tryinnng to hurt someone" "well is it my fault i just Assumed you were simply as normal as me? aka the nice thing to do? the thing you should be trying to do?? way to be a weirdo, like having experienced traumatic harm and now that's like, a part of your life and you're not actually Wrong about it or Lied To that that's possible b/c it clearly is and you can't be aware of the precarity re: that happening again b/c welll it's not normal for it to happen surely, i'd Know if it was, you can't recognize your vulnerability, you're kind of an asshole for making that experience anyone else's problem, it's not My fault, keep it to yourself and just get over it asap" like the real problem is if someone might have to so much as consider consciously doing something differently b/c someone else is different than they thought and also nobody's Above considering others and how they're affected by your actions. liiike so long as i didn't mean to, or so long as we don't really care about how they're doing b/c they Are less of a person with a wronger existence that means they bring it upon themself and there's a Narrative about how actually my Superiority is a noble burden that is only trying to punish them towards being as superior as me. and/orrrr i don't even have to think about it & thus have any narrative b/c it's so streamlined / obfuscated as there being any deliberate interference that this is all just Normal, right. people are out of line suggesting [xyz] is ableist or something b/c ughhh it's not about any principle it's about some emotional quota like, okay i've begrudgingly assessed Some things as sympathetic/reasonable to not do, & that's enough, & you can only ask so much of me vs this being a constant often conscious lifelong matter to deal with like it is for people who could be hurt by it?? the contempt is effortless and normal and you have to be trying to be evil & feel evil about it for anything to count. if other people say they're affected a) who cares b) they're probably being too sensitive. another way they're worse. i'm not entitled here c) are they even frowning to prove they're sad? well they're either too sensitive Or they're manipulatively exaggerating / faking it anyways. the convenient fact that nobody can provide external ""proof"" of their thoughts or feelings or intentions, which means i'm always justified if know i think i am, which, let me check, yep: i know i think i do, and it means that i can assume other people are shit inside and hurting them doesn't do anything Real and they deserve it anyways
anyways merely being Normal Mode and Not Thinking You've Been Malicious Or, Sometimes More Importantly, Out Of Line Re: Your Justified Authority is maybe not a basis of successful interactions. what if you try thinking of yourself as [an other, to all others] and not better than other people if you've never much noticed being treated as worse, or at least not as As Worse as Those people or That person, and maybe just b/c You'd only explain something to someone to patronize them b/c nothing should ever not be immediately understood, doesn't mean other people trying to convey their experiences and ideas to you b/c they know you're different people are attacking you as so inferior to you as to be patronized, b/c you're different ppl and they Are better at communicating / socializing when not treating others as inferior or superior Or only equal b/c of being Litchrelly the same person as you, Never even share a thought b/c Of Course i'd immeidately agree with it, how dare you, shut the fuck up
(thinking how people can Parallelly share a space without talking / seemingly interacting more directly than that, as "i am comfortable w/your presence" and/or "we can both use this space as we see fit simultaneously w/little to no need to hash anything out abt it / may rather silently work around what the other is doing" and this may be seen as signaling hostility / contempt / some power play, like also when cats do it b/c they choose to be around you. or just so Weird. you can't even go to a public place Alone, are you kidding? weird And sad)
maybe just saying "don't be afraid to ask questions / for help :)" doesn't make everyone comfortable asking questions / for help, or otherwise able to. maybe not even doing that much & simply thinking your being Normal & correctly Friendly implicitly conveys it to all & makes you approachable is not that guarantee, either. maybe saying "just tell me if anything makes You uncomfortable" doesn't put the responsibility on them for real, just surely takes any blame off you (no?). like sorry do you Want to asap reach a point where you can forever stop being concerned with how what you do may affect others and assume you're perfectly correct abt the needs of everyone you encounter and how your behavior is good enough to one size fits all treat anyone? speaking of being patronizing, and the attitudes behind it. someone who's abused is now Wronger about how to treat them so that they can feel safe. if they want to communicate in ways that seem weird or too distant they're wronging Me, if some misalignment can only be recognized through someone being hurt (as only judged as reasonable / real by the more Normal party) and having to have a conflict as a Fight to determine who the Wrong / Loser party is, what do you mean that's not going to feel safe to everyone. it can't be that a lot of people easily hurt others without having to notice it or Feel wrong about it. dunno how it could be that ppl are like "does being autistic share traits/behaviors associated w/trauma or is it that like everyone is all but guaranteed trauma for being autistic" and if it does well clearly what matters is no normal people feeling bad for thoughtless contemptuous abusive treatment or having to consider operating on different social values/principles towards any & everyone? the autistic people should just become not autistic, i.e. not exist, i.e. also it's their fault how other ppl treat them, whoops it's the same logic behind [anyone abused in any situation / form]
also the idea that like, what, oh someone's Wronged if they didn't feel they had the Chance to Befriend someone or even be Close to them, like, what, is anyone Entitled to even have some trial run at being any given person's friend, or close to them, or w/e other personal access to them? ppl can then cite a noble Concern like oh but if they don't let anyone in they'll be alone, oh but if a child avoids me their shit parent in their room then that can't be good for them, oh but if an autistic person goes unpunished then they'll always be hated & mistreated (as deserved), like, the primarily cited Benevolent Magnanimous reason for the disdain is secondary to [i'm just justifying continuing on exactly as i've been doing, b/c i already can] like yeah oh my god could it be possible that people in shitty positions going through shitty experiences might have complicated reactions to that reality that is different than yours but not Wronger just b/c you think yours is better / more Normal, which means better. and if they ever take on any blame / take on more responsibility in ways that they direct inwards, like that they Continue to be responsible for how others feel about them, what they assume about them, and how they treat them, (which they probably are b/c that's totally for [inferior abnormaller people] like nervous unconfident loser weirdos like them who just Failed to respect Themselves enough to not be abused & continue to be blamed for that, as well as for not being treated w/basic respect as an equal person) well then how heroic to use the idea of their compounding hurt to wash your hands of your own responsibility in any interactions w/them. they have to become as Normal as me first, how unreasonable for someone to recognize that even "normal" interactions involve some people being deemed superior while other people are more scrutinized, punished, and blamed, w/no recourse, even in Casual Friendly exchanges :) so mean to have been too uncomfortable to say they were uncomfortable or have felt too unsafe to say they felt unsafe! *i* was within my rights as [but i'm just so normal and well meaning] and i mean what do they expect, their standards are impossible and unreasonable and unfair b/c it's not i the range of Normal to Haaave to accommodate them (ugh. the Real imposition), and they're just using excuses vs taking Responsibility & enacting Agency anyways, their fault entirely. people are so sensitive these days you can't just have a conversation??? i have no problem w/this logic thanks
anyways it's half past one and i could always go on. normative standpoint "bad conflict skills" [handshake] "bad social skills" like hmm are they really. so heroic to worrying abt if [xyz] is bad for themself but what's good for themself would probably make you think they're even more of an asshole who's wronging you (e.g. someone consciously trying to be "worse" at [preventing the least conflicts via people pleasing], someone consciously trying to be "worse" at [being deemed marginally more socially successful via masking]), are you being wronged or did you presume you're entitled to something / perceive someone else as entitled b/c they weren't acting like you're inherently better than them, which you are, there's not a problem unless power is threatened, which makes it always the totally inferior people's faults, *i* didn't think there was a problem & *i* would've known (backup: well how was *i* supposed to know)....who gets to be superior, who's always in the Process of having to work for deserving basic respect as a person (b/c they keep failing to deserve it ofc), who's more vulnerable and has no recourse even if they don't like it and would be out of line just asking for otherwise / merely implying as much by expressing that they're hurt, who has the power to hurt someone whether through malicious schemes or spontaneous thoughtlessness/ignorance, who has restricted choices re: their autonomy, who gets to choose what happens to other people & the elements of their personhood, their time, energy, body, feelings, effort, etc, & hurt / imperil (require they take on more vulnerability/precarity) them to enforce it....but who cares like just go "i'm so normal that it's relatable" & wash your hands of anything, after all your time as the individual hero out here lol. try being an Other To Others rando as good as anyone else who can handle the idea they're wrong / don't already know how to be perfectly right abt everything / not feeling the least actively malicious or "out of line" isn't the end all be all sole priority. what are we talking about with what "conflict" fundamentally is, or how to approach it, or the same re: being "social"? well only assholes who wanna flex on me by being pedantic would bring it up
#long post abab#''they're the same picture'' [parental abuse] [being autistic] [Authority over Others enforced w/interrelated/fractaling power systems]#age 7 a teacher duly informing me of my punishment for not only not breathlessly obeying some gesture from across the gym while looking in#that direction but not parsing it as an order; much less what it meant; in the first place? so it's a wednesday then#the feeling that you must just be failing to follow some Rules and it's on you to Succeed before things are decent?#the fact that that is indeed the assertion other people make about the situation?#one iteration of [you're treated worse b/c you deserve it] lining up w/another. & one isn't Wrong/Mistaken for noticing this....#the posts about like weird but positive Family Holiday Celebrations they didn't realize that not everyone did....that but the evil version#you can just make up xmas dinosaur or big sandwich day. you can also just make up ableism or that children are parent's property lmao#but then also. those things are so permeating / common that it's like ppl are against them in name only....#but you're also supposed to think that Nothing is different abt your situation than anyone else's & they just Acted Right through it#anyways. baseball metaphor re the rules you're supposed to learn lol...#hugely popular recess game that i tried to join in Once & nobody ever taught us even when playing it in gym#i'd inferred / observed Some rules but obv messed up quickly enough (made Worse for prior success: being on second lol. (what))#that was around the end of recess luckily ig but i was quite aware of ppl grousing amongst themselves that i'd ruined the game#back to foursquare where we made up rules b/c it's a game lol & having fun#next up: my being the One person in fifth grade who couldn't already ride a bike; also no instruction; also in front of everyone lol#they went off & did other stuff anyways & i Did learn but thx to One gracious peer lending a hint#(that being: it's harder to balance if you Falter in speed. going a bit faster only makes it Easier to maintain balance. it was So True)#having it pointed out by other ppl w/extra zany upbringings like oh i guess our parents didn't like want to know things abt us / talk to us#or ever play w/us much or teach us much? the classic [parent does xyz for you even if you wish they wouldn't & then just starts like slowly#and increasingly resenting that you don't know how to do it yourself already? or in the first place?)#certainly the overlap Between also personal abuse & being nd lmao. i will Never keep that room clean lol....not up to that shit#and ofc every Interpretation of behavior is kneejerk Reality / all that matters; you Are responsible for another / adult person's feelings#And their actions per their feelings. and their feelings abt your feelings abt their actions! just like being autistic in the wild#next up: being queer also lmfao. insert it into this post throughout. if you'd just act right. you can't expect getting to be as much of a#person as me who can make choices / have their autonomy when you're not as normal as me? hello???#parent can't bring themself to directly invoke concepts like Gay or Trans but Can just be like umm what's wrong w/you (rhetorical) >:(
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OKAY HEAR ME OUT CHOCCY SEB GIVES CLORA A SNAKE RING?!?!
Soooooo rereading the fic and I’m back to chapter 33, and it totally popped into my head that they are IN THE VICTORIAN ERA and do ya know what was super popular after the engagement ring that Queen Victoria was given by Prince Albert? A SNAKE RING
AND IF THAT AINT SEB TREATING CLORA LIKE THE QUEEN SHE IS THEN I DONT KNOW WHAT IS 😭💙💚✨
Thank you for coming to my ted talk 🫣😂
LMFAOO YESS TRUST ME, IVE SEEN THIS AFTER DOING MY OWN RESEARCH ABOUT VICTORIAN RINGS, ITS SO PERFECT!! AND THE FACT THAT ITS GREEN TOO LMAO, prince albert was a possessive slytherin confirmed!!🤪 but yea ill DEFS be incorporating a snake into the final design of cloras ring HAHA. i basically HAVE to...yknow, for period accuracy 🥰
WOO YAY im glad i could inspire you to start writing!!!🙏and i get it, writing fanfic is defs self indulgent and for ourselves first and foremost, but obvs nobody wants to release their work into the void😩 as for how my own fic got popular, one of the main things is defs timing. i published the first chap basically within the first week of the game being out (it came out on the 10th and my chap was on the 18th) so it was there right at the peak/start of the fandom. but i also dont wanna attribute it all to timing BAHHA cuz i think im a pretty good writer and that helps....my fic also didnt get popular right away, but i was consistently posting every single week + eventually started adding art every single week, and was just really dedicated to not only writing but also drawing art for it (which is also obvs another huge factor/probs the biggest factor). ive had so many ppl tell me they started reading my fic bc they saw my art on pinterest or something LOL, and some ppl have even read it fandom-blind bc they were into the seb/clora dynamic??? which is another point actually. i always joke about how i love my cliches and good girl+bad boy dynamics, and that im unashamed about loving them LOL, but also...they're cliches for a reason!!! lots of us eat that shit up!!!😤so i think thats defs another factor, vs if my fic was a bit more niche and avant garde LOL the fandom is also (understandably) a lot slower than it was at the beginning of the year so itll be harder in general, but maybe you could commission art to go with your fanfic? ive seen a lot of other HL fanfic writers do it, and i think it defs helps to draw attention! GOOD LUCK and i hope you keep writing!!!🫡💖💖💖🙌
huh??? go with the tide pods instead, THAT shit looks bussin😩😩
AWW TYY😭😭I LOVE THAT HAHAH AND IM GLAD U THINK SO💖💖 my friend also asked me this question after seeing my recent ask, and i STILL have no idea what i would have named it instead LMAOO, thats how bad i am at naming things. even a year later im like bruh idk!!! clora and sebs bizarre adventures??? i guess id probs make it something light/dark themed in retrospect, or something more specific to the ancient magic, but i still have no idea what LOL
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hope you dont mind the ask, was just kinda curious ^^
what was your mindset in coming back to the internet and did you expect the kind of reaction that you got?
i wasnt expecting the positive response AT ALL. coming back my mindset was something liek "im only doing this so i can post my art again, im only doing this becuz im passionate abt my artwork. nobodys gonna believe me and im sure only a handful of ppl r gonna be rational abt this whole thing, and im gonna have 2 deal with a mob of ppl out 2 get me and another mob who wants 2 sexualize me and stalk me, but if i can post my artwork and just ignore it itll be fine."
and then i posted my vid and every1 was so sympathetic and understanding and pleasant 2 me. ive nevr experienced that kind of basic humanity b4 on the internet, and it was shocking. every1 was so nice abt my struggles with abuse and homelessness inparticular, which was honestly an afterthought in my comeback vid becuz i didnt think any1 would care. i didnt expect anything close 2 the reaction i got, and it gave me a lot of hope and peace. i felt safe posting online 4 the first time.
i cant say that i still feel the same, after the borderline 12 situation happening only 6 days after my vid ive basically been retraumatized and have severe anxiety surrounding the internet again. it was my fault and was incredibly disrespectful, hurtful, and wrong, i will never deny that i was wrong in the first place and did something horrible. but the sheer harassment and dogpiling wasnt warranted and was arguably worse than what i did 2 begin with. it was blown out of proportion and it only took 6 days 4 every1 2 stop liking me and treating me like a person. that situation made me realize that despite the overwhelming positivity that i received, there will always be so many ppl who want 2 take it away from me, who want 2 make the internet unsafe 4 me again, who want 2 see my downfall. i wont let them win, i will ALWAYS strive 2 want 2 be the best person i can be and better myself everyday, i will ALWAYS want 2 learn from my mistakes and improve. but knowing this, posting again feels liek walking on eggshells.
2 summarize.. i have vry mixed feelings abt the internet as of rn. im so so so so so so so grateful 4 the support and i love all of u, but i know that it could be taken away from me at any minute due 2 something that i will nevr foresee. i nevr come online with the intention 2 be problematic or controversial or hateful, i just liek posting art!!! i would nevr do something offensive or hurtful on purpose, but im scared of doing it by accident again.
didnt think thisd be so long!!! or venty!!! i need 2 talk less mayb.. lol ^^;
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hm i really hope that someone has said this better than me but the betterhelp ads (specifically the video ones, as the podcast ones tend to be less scripted) are such poignant examples of alienation + the role of 'go to therapy' in perpetuating that alienation. keep in mind that, if you personally found a therapist who is genuinely healing for you + that therapist happens to be through betterhelp- i'm genuinely happy for you + that experience does not invalidate anything i have to say below! (but jsyk they're trying to sell your shit to facebook lol)
starting strong w/ the fact that betterhelp is essentially the uber of therapy (aka using an independent contractor model which is harmful + predatory towards its providers), rushing in to fill the market on largely uninsured and/or uninformed ppl who want the ease of a concierge system without the cost + lacks a meaningful supervision system (which led to one gay man being recommended a conversion therapist when he asked for someone to help with his identity struggles, btw!). smarter people than me have written about the ways in which these trendy independent contractor apps strip people of labor rights, fail to provide adequate wages, + in the case of healthcare apps, increase digital surveillance + decrease accountability demanded from providers while exploiting the failure of the US healthcare system in order to churn a profit w/o actually creating sustainable, equitable change.
the betterhelp video ads all circle around a theme- a millennial starts talking about some form of emotional pain or worry, usually relatively standard existential worries ("do you ever think nothing has meaning?") or life worries ("i hate my job" "i think i'm gay"). their friends or the ppl around them respond blankly + coldly, looking at them like they're crazy. while i understand these ads are supposed to be tongue in cheek, they demonstrate the crushing reality of our alienation from one another- the solution to your friends responding to your evident pain with confusion + apathy is to confine that pain to a therapy session! nobody wants to hear your struggles or understands them- come generate profits for us by facetiming a newly graduated 24 year old who can barely make rent!
this theme fits well with what already put me off about betterhelp's marketing- their goal has never been to provide access to therapy for those who want it or to altruistically fill in some healthcare gap. their goal, bolstered by the rise in emotional suffering following, you know, the worldwide pandemic, is to generate + increase demand for therapy as a commodity. their earlier podcast ads focused on convincing others that therapy "isn't just for crazy ppl" + "everyone should be in therapy". regardless of if you personally agree with that statement, it should be evident that this is a blatant marketing tactic in which therapy is a commodity to be peddled, not an offer of support or healing. in fact, they're probably actively shying away from treating "crazy people", bcuz their flimsy support systems could not possibly handle an influx of ppl regularly in crisis or experiencing breaks with a common reality. their target audience is your average millennial under late capitalism + post COVID - anxious, lonely, vaguely depressed, unhappy with their jobs, worried + hopeless about their futures.
i'm not here to tell anyone not to get therapy. that's a personal decision + is none of my fucking business. it's about questioning the total alienation we feel from one another, such that pouring our heart our unexpectedly to a friend + being met with a blank stare is framed as "haha you need therapy" + not "it's crushing that this is how distant we are from one another". it's about a company noticing that (unfortunately very real) distance + fear of vulnerability + using that to direct our emotions into the confines of a business transaction under abusive labor conditions. it's about a world in which we are not engaging with one another emotionally (despite, or i guess bcuz of: widespread suffering, recent mass death, class warfare/untenable working conditions, increased pressure of fascist politics, generational trauma + abuse, etc etc). commodifying therapy isn't going to make that loneliness go away- it's going to normalize it.
#anti psychiatry#smh i write all these on the toilet then my wife is like charlie it's been a fucking hour
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Not the antis saying that Elriels are the ones that don’t care about Elain…💀🤡 Because apparently Az would do the things he does for Elain for everyone else and that he just sees her as another lover, that he wants to keep a secret.
I’ve also seen them point out that Az was still dreaming and lusting ovwr Mor when Elain was just THERE. I mean, first of all… we don’t know the extent of his feelings for Mor. We just know what everyone assumes LOL. And yeah, Az is there to save people, he defends very strongly those he cares about, but did he EVER had a reaction to anyone else like he had for Elain when she was taken for example? Nope. Alsoooo, Elriel just has a normal build up, from friends to (almost) lovers. It took some time for Az to get over whatever he was feeling for Mor. Ofc. But he developed a friendship with Elain in the meantime, that turned into something more eventually. Even in ACOSF is said pretty clear that he basically gave up to Mor. After all this time. But I’m repeating myself, we don’t know the exact extent of what he felt for Mor. Maybe he just let ppl assume lol, bc I refuse to believe he’d just act like he doesn’t get the hint from Mor for like 500 years, when he knows basically everything. Things are more complex than that.
And the ones that don’t like Elain are the ones that pair and force her with a male she doesn’t want. At all. Guess which one is that. SJM said that it’s obvious who the next book is about and she also build this ship for several books now. Just stop pretending your ship has ANY chance. The lies y’all tell yourselves just so your ship can “earn” half a point in the romance department are laughable.
I genuinely can’t wait for the day to prove y’all WRONG. 💅🏻
Goodness you guys love sending long as hell anons.
1. I’d say that if you ship Elain and Azriel then you don’t really love Elain. If you loved Elain, then you’d ship her with the person who would treat her the best and actually care about her wellbeing (aka her MATE). Also, we don’t have Elain’s POV yet, so nobody truly knows how Elain feels about her mate.
2. When Rhys confronted Azriel about Elain in the bonus chapter, Azriel did NOT say “I think I’m in love with Elain” or “she’s special to me” or “I really care about Elain”. Nothing. Instead he called her the third sister. Then let us know that he “hadn’t gotten that far in his planning, certainly NOT beyond the fantasies that he pleasured himself to”. Sounds like lust to me. And since Rhys can read minds— I’m sure he heard Azriels thoughts and knew that it wasn’t love. Rhys did the right thing here.
3. Rhys confronted Azriel about Mor in the bonus chapter and Azriel completely ignored that question. Hence, I do think Azriel still has some unresolved feelings for Mor that he needs to get over before he’s with anyone.
4. It’s stated multiple times throughout the book series that Azriel looks at Mor with “heat and longing”. And at the end of ACOMAF, when Azriel was poisoned he still tried to protect Mor. His sole focus was on Mor. So I’m pretty sure his feelings for Mor are spot on with what other characters have said in the books.
5. Sarah stated it was obvious and it is. The next book will be Azriel’s with Gwyn as his love interest. I think Azriel will finally get over his unresolved feelings for Mor in his book and he will fall in love with Gwyn. Based off ACOSF and the bonus chapter, I think it’s clear that they’re definitely mates. Especially since Gwyn is the only female to ever make Azriel feel a “spark in his chest”. Sounds like mates to me.
Can’t wait for the next book announcement too ❤️❤️
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Why do you wanna kiss Madoc?
not sure if ppl are actually weirded out by my user or not, which most certainly is not my intention, but i feel the need to rant abt my thoughts on madoc! i also don’t wanna deter anyone bc of my user 😭! btw i totally understand if u hate him w all your guts like truly i get it but don’t hate on me for not! my user is mostly a joke! (also i LOVE cardan and jude sm more than madoc obviously just the “madockisser” user is funnier and so few ppl talk abt madoc so i feel the need to 😭)
madoc raised 3 children that weren’t his, was willing to risk quite literally everything to become king so his poor mortal daughters will be treated like princesses in a world where they’re treated like garbage. madoc has his faults(like trying to make poor oakey pokey king), but a lot of them can be chalked up to his redcap nature, being bloodthirsty and power hungry and just not understanding jude and her morals since their morals and life experiences are just SO different
him and jude have the same goal, except madoc and his nature, his morals, make the execution of that goal and the endpoint a bit different. jude is trying to save oak from being king so he won’t have to grow up bloodthirsty and drenched in blood like she did, while madoc is trying to make oak king, which he thinks is obviously the best thing he can do for him since madoc is so power hungry.
in their own eyes, they each think what they have planned for oak is best, and obviously to madoc making his son king after slaughtering nearly the rest of the greenbriar bloodline which solidifies his succession to the throne is a great boon, and in his eyes, jude isn’t trying to keep him from doing that to protect oak, (since he doesn’t understand that jude grew up so miserably) he sees jude trying to take/keep oaks throne from him.
jude says in her inner monologue at some point that she’s sure that madoc would relinquish the throne to oak when he’s of age, since he’s a man of honor or wtv, and madoc obv thinks this is just the best course for oak. why wouldn’t madoc want his children powerful and bloodthirsty? he wants them to be like him, and more than that, he doesn’t want them to slave away for a greenbriar like madoc did to eldred and balekin and dain(which he reveals in the stolen heir duo)
another thing is his morals when it comes to dain. he was livid in a way oriana had never seen when he heard about what dain did to oak and liriope. which makes perfect sense for him because he has honor enough to not slaughter a woman for being pregnant and by extent taking the life of the child inside just to remain in power and in favor.
dain did something that madoc inherently disagreed w. so madocs decision was obviously to betray him and run him through after replanning. it’s just in his nature. he replans, betrays, and resorts to murder when it matters lol. he does the same (sorta) w balekin by using him as a ploy to get oaks throne. balekin who has human slaves treated terribly, while madoc had a human wife and human children. i’m shocked balekin didn’t see madocs betrayal coming.
and even tho jude did something he inherently disagreed w/ and didn’t try to understand (which frustrates me sm) he gives her so many chances to come back to his side, he gives her advice, he gives her chances, betraying his nature for his daughter until qon, when he finally resorts to murder. fucking devastating.
on a lighter note, i do think it’s funny tho that despite it all he was still a better father than eldred and dain, and better guardian than balekin. though i will say that i do NOT excuse so many of madocs actions (bc he causes my poor baby jude so much pain), and when i’m actively rereading esp during qon i do in fact hate that mf, …i just think he’s dilf-y.
unrelated but he’s like the lead of a monster romance. holly black actually has another green sweetheart-chemist murdery bf, in her book valiant, but he’s too niche like nobody knows abt him which is so sad bc he’s sooooo cute and sweet. “ravuskisser” would be my user
i love reading his and jude’s dynamic, i love reading abt him and eva and him and oriana. i love in tpt when he FINALLY says something abt eva, finally understanding why she left him, and him owning up to his mistakes, but then saying , “but if it were not for my mistakes, i would not have the family i have today.” 😭😭😭😭😭
ALSO, the exile. it was so necessary. madoc living amongst humans helps him realize so much about eva, jude and taryn. “since humans have a shorter lifespan, they would risk much for happiness.” he says (not word for word) in tpt when speaking of eva, but ofc it also applies to jude and taryn.
anyway i guess moral of the story i like madoc bc daddy issues ig and also his complexity, holly black is a genius at writing morally grey faeries w diff mindsets! also how jude describes him to be a “tall man” the second he’s on the page like damn i get it eva and ori! anyway even holly black supports madoc kissers like me so don’t judge me!
#tfota#the cruel prince#madoc#madoc tfota#the wicked king#the queen of nothing#controversial i know#i’m sorry for this forgive me#jude duarte#holly black#taryn duarte#eva duarte#jude and madoc#the folk of the air#tcp#qon#also strange how ppl are weird abt me liking madoc but then they like balekin or dain like 😭#redcap double standard ig#i like answering asks send me more lol#i apologize for how long this is
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goddamn like….
there was an extremely sus “bridgerton ball” held downtown this last weekend that turned out to be a dashcon-level scam. probably couldve guessed that from the ads/website being littered w spelling errors, but anyway…listing a few of the things i know of:
-it was supposed to happen last month but the organizers (Uncle & Me Events) sold 1500 tickets for a venue w a max capacity of 450. Venue cancelled, of course. Organizers sent out one (1) email two days before the thing was supposed to happen. A lot of ppl didn’t even see the email so people were showing up to an empty venue in downtown Detroit wearing regency-era ballgowns. Security apparently told some of them that the event was a scam but idk how true that is. Anyway it was rescheduled at a new venue for a month later.
-valet parking was promised, not delivered. parking downtown is a pain in the ass in general but these people were also wearing ballgowns lmao
-nobody checking tickets at the door. there was a tiered pricing scale for tickets starting at $100 and going up to $1000 (a fool and his fukkin money i s2g) so all these ppl from the suburbs who paid hundreds/THOUSANDS of dollars to be treated like VIPs were pissed
-because nobody was checking tickets, people were just kind of wandering in off the street lmaaaaoooo so ppl were just kind of milling around in normal clothes eating the buffet, which leads me to…
-the food was bad: pasta w marinara, canned green beans, meatballs, and undercooked/raw chicken wings. people were expecting a sit down meal apparently? but I think that might just be the expectations of ppl more accustomed to tea parties than actual large scale events - ain’t no way they were ever going to do full-service dinner for 1500 people. it was always going to be a buffet.
-NO ALCOHOL lmaaaoooo the event info said open bar, there wasn’t even a cash bar. no shit, they had water and “mocktails”. check out the menu:
ITS ALL LEMONADE LMAAAOOOO but wait!!! ppl who bought VIP tickets also got hawaiian punch !!!
-see the tablecloth in that pic? the decorations were bad. like dollar store bad.
-they were supposed to have a bunch of different activities: dance lessons, costume contests, carriage rides. neither of the first two happened. the carriage rides did, but you had to pay extra and they only did them for three hours. again, 1500 people.
-that’s not to say there was no entertainment. they had a dj playing pretty standard birthday party dj fare: the hustle, cha cha slide. he also played hiphop which really upset a lot of the ppl larping as wealthy colonizers for SOME reason 🤔 disclaimer: i assume they were expecting classical music but a looooot of people specifically complained about the hiphop
- oh there was also a single exotic dancer stationed in the middle of an empty room. i am not joking. im not in the business of posting photos of strangers but the photos are out there and they’re tragic. this poor woman just took a gig and ended up with a bunch of middle class pearl clutchers complaining abt her on fb. that being said, my understanding is bridgerton is smut for ppl who want to pretend they’re above watching porn so idg why a dancer is such a big fucking deal, just sit down and watch ffs. oh wait-
-there was nowhere to sit lmao
-and no refunds
seems pretty clear that after overselling and losing the first venue, the organizers lost all their vendor contracts and had to scramble to have anything at all. could’ve just cancelled. btw the no refunds thing included if it was cancelled - they’ll just credit you for the next event lol
now listen. i do feel bad. I don’t think anyone deserved this really. I DO find it very funny that a bunch of of ppl who can afford $1000 tickets to dress up in expensive costumes and pretend to be aristocrats got scammed big time by Detroit.
#i love my city lmao#oh wait i forgot they also had a vendor hall w local ppl selling crafts and mlm bullshit#and one of them was selling perfume or eSsEnTiAl OiLs and the smell was making ppl sick
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I think the reason a lot of people feel taken aback and the reaction to the real lestat is mix is because many people assumed the "real lestat" is somehow better than what louis remembers and less chaotic when in reality nobody said the "real lestat" was actually a good guy.
thinking lestat would be a good guy when louis will never be attracted to anything less than the human equivalent of sticking his hand into a blender and turning it on is lol.
it's crazy how the fandom treats this (based on certain book ppl) bcuz it didn't change in the books either?? all that changed is that some ppl felt bad about his backstory. his actions never rly improve. his communication skills suck. u can't just do whatever u want and say it's ok bcuz u have trauma. feeling bad about something u never stop doing doesn't mean ur rly doing anything but feeling bad.
when he's killing prostitutes horrifically in the book and then later is like "well they killed and stole from men otherwise so actually I was saving the world here." ok......first of all.....the rant I could go on is a whole other post tbh. so anyway, second point.....did u tell louis any of that tho?? does that excuse *how* u killed them?? lestans say yes but srsly look at it from literally *any* other angle but his own perspective and tell me u still think that. like be serious lol.
#asks#interview with the vampire#amc interview with the vampire#interview with the vampire amc#iwtv amc#amc iwtv#iwtv 2022#lestat de lioncourt
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also pigeon evbo is fuckin awesome i love the idea that the species he is reflects how people treat him n stufz and as for the other ppl in the noob level i like to think theyr all just some type of like bird you see everywhere here in my country theres mayas literally everywhere and nobody rlly pays much attention to them just maybe feed them every once in a while and then they just blend in with the surroundings like how the pros dont rlly care that much abt the noobs so they dont rlly notice them that much hehe :33 not sure abt what other avians they could be tho!! and if in this au everyones a creature of some sort what would the pros be? and the masters? oh my gof wait thought just came through what iff emf gained the ability to like shapeshift once they became champion omg i originally thought like emf is normally how they look like canonically but like all misty? not entirely solid but has like ykno particles floating around and once theyre champion they can go full mist mode and change their proportions and apearance and stuff but still kinda look like themself? but honestly the idea that emf can shapeshift into any form and chooses to be ominous as fuck is hilarious lmaoaoa anyway thanks for coming to my ted talk there will be more
OHHH IM SO GLAD YOU AGREE!!! AND ALSO EXACTLY!! SHAPESHIFTER EMF MY LOVEEE <33333
but to address your other point,, we’ve established that the noobs are different species of avians, and if you wanna get real angsty with it they’ve all probably had their wings clipped so they can’t fly or save themselves when missing a jump and the fighters are vampires, but what about the other species?
so!! honestly i want to say the masters are also shapeshifters, but like- to an extent maybe? as in they can alter their physical appearance to some degree, but it increases exponentially if they become champion. and that might actually be a pretty cool incentive to do so, if they go from being able to vaguely alter how they look to changing their fucking state of matter lol.
tbh, i’m not quite sure about the pros!!! there are so many options, i’m not sure which one to pick!!! (if anyone wants to drop a comment or an ask you are so so welcome to do so!!)
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WWHAT WUD THE CREEPS DO 4 HALLOWEEN I MUST KNOW
anon... yes i like this. general disclaimer this is tailored to my au !! stuff under cut
toby likes it, thinks its fun and stuff. he's not the type to dress up beyond like, maybe a jacket and a mask or whatever, but he'll go and buy(steal) stupid ass halloween decorations from spirit or the dollar store. there r several mini skeletons sitting around his cabin. he treats it like elf on the shelf, but. . . skeletons... def will sit around and watch scary movies with a bag of halloween candy . totally carves pumpkins with whoever will do it with him
tim wouldnt really want to do much cuz he's just tired, but he probably would put out a small little pumpkin and bowl of candy outside his door. he's in an apartment so he doesnt really get trick or treaters. will prob buy some candy after halloween so its on sale
brians so annoying omfg(lovingly) he'd buy a fake arm, blood, and wig and stick it in his trunk so it looks like an arm is sticking out. yall know what im talking about. him and tim share an apartment so he'd prob try to actually put something simple around it, like some plastic pumpkins, but nothing really big. he is also a grown man with no kids, so he doesnt find himself going all out for these things
natalie. ok i recently made it where she's either already a tattoo artist, or learning to be a tattoo artist or whatever, but i could see her and some coworkers setting up the shop all halloweeny. she's so fucking tall that they'd just call her over for all the spider web stuff. she thinks its fun and she likes halloween a lot so it's cool. she'd get a huge kick out of doing halloween tattoos during october too. goes and hangs out with toby/nina for it
nina goes to parties . she HAS to get a whole new costume for every party. its super wasteful but she doesnt care all that matters is shes sexy. every year without fail she is a sexy gothic vampire for one of the parties. she works at hot topic, BUT she'd absofuckinglutely get a second job at spirit halloween for october. she's a creepy galll... def sets her apartment up super cutely, brings toby and nat over so they can carve pumpkins with her, tries to dress them up, etc. tons of halloween posts on her social medias too LOL shes so cute
jeff would prob also go to more like... weirder ( ?) parties with creeps and scary people roaming around just doing crazy shit. warehouse shit. prob finds someone to bring home and kill. he thinks its fun, its easier to just go about his days looking the way he does, he loves scaring the fucking shit out of people. doesnt decorate or wear costumes though, says its cringe LMFAO. hates how hyped nina is about it
jane and mary would totally decorate, but in a much more.. ? elegant ? way. like those tall skinny candles, swap out their doormat for something halloween themed, really nicely done pumpkins for some reason. jane would want to host a cute little halloween dinner for uni friends. probably just gets simple costumes, like she'd put on a witch hat and black dress and thats all, but its cute. takes sally (and ben, if sally asks him to come) trick or treating.
sally draws tons of drawings, loves disney halloween marathons, paints on pumpkins(doesnt like the smell of gutting them), etc. she'd decorate with jane cuz she lives w her. she loves it so much but she still gets scared of the animatronic things at stores and stuff LOL. begs ben to trick or treat w her. really embarrassing for ben
ben wouldnt do much besides like. he'd get worse w his internet trolling (scaring the fucking shit out of teens on the internet), start doing more actual hauntings bc nobody will believe his victims during october which means slender wont find out he's doing it. he would not want to go trick or treating..but he'd go with sally with a pillow case and he'd try to awkwardly stand further back but the ppl at the door would always b like 'aw dont be shy come here!' LOL
jack doesnt celebrate it, his family didnt really celebrate it much when he was human so he doesnt do it now. he does get kinda sad during holiday season though, cuz of obvious reasons, but halloween isnt the strongest Pain for him
liu is so fucking miserable theres no way. jk he'd set out like, some pumpkins and maybe get one of those lights that project ghosts onto his garage, but he wouldnt want to go all out or do anything to the inside of his house. jeff really liked halloween when he was younger so its kinda like ouch but he's getting overit. i guess. . .
kate doesnt..celebrate anything........ but when she does occasionally visit the cabin, maybe for food or a shower, and she sees toby decorated, she'd be happy to see it. she's kinda unsettling to be around, but she'd sit down and watch a movie with him in silence. then bring a massive bag of candy to the mine w her w/o telling toby. he just had to cope
ann and lulu dont do anything in the hospital. they dont really have any concept of time........... or the resources to decorate... and they dont get any trick or treaters... cuz theyre...stuck in an abandoned hospital in the woods . . . yeah..
ty for ask anoni like this one. very simple but very sweet
#asks#creepypasta fanart#creeped#ticci toby#clockwork creepypasta#god i dont wanan tag#i give up#nina the killer#ill do my 3 and thats it.
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If you don’t mind, I’m gonna yap for a second.. I think another problem with Kab is how sudden the turn around was. Like in the first convo where Kab was acting “evil”, Zam fought back with the argument that she’s wasn’t really evil at all and I think he did believe that at least a little. And if Kab slowly began to turn her path around then he would be a bit more trusting cause he would have SEEN her actual emotional growth but the turn around was so fast, it feels like there was no emotional growth at all and that Kab is still the same as before, cause she basically is. She still wants Mane dead no matter the cost and she’s still, intentionally or not, trying to manipulate Zam, but she wants to be treated as if she’s had that whole long term emotional growth
yeah ii think this is where her majority experience with short-term smps really bit her in the ass, i think there are two main directions that other ppl take it tho: 1. is as what you speculate in that some ppl think that she hasnt had genuine growth and hasnt changed at all and 2. that she genuinely changes too quickly and is therefore unreliable regardless of if shes being honest or not
i think the reason zam was so receptive to her in silent scream was cause this has been a recurrent plot point for a couple streams now, kab trespassing zams base to yap while zam tries to decipher her wants and motivations until eventually she just let it all out and in that instance i think he did genuinely believed that she changed even if it was slowly/just a little bit
....but then die for you happened lol
ssee the thing about kab is that shes shes all-or-nothing, going from one extreme to the next after just a little bit of change in character which can be jarring to some ppl to say the least (unless you thought she was lying and therefore any character development shouldnt be believed i suppose) but is something that was a great asset in shorter and arena-based smps where you had to get as much advantage against your opponent as possible without having to worry about the long-term consequences of these actions ie them not trusting you while still having to interact often in mundane ways even after messing with them. while she Can be swayed this only really works with things she was already unsure of which while a great motivator and trait to keep her on track with her goals (again another great trait for short-term smps), can be really jarring and distressing for other ppl if the things she was absolutely sure about goes against their own perspective like for example her thinking that derapchu killing her constitutes zam getting payback for her as the protector of the server (The protector, not A protector like zam insists, The protector of the server)
i think shes far too used to the fast-paced instant acceptance of changed personality in arena smps that is a natural consequence of them being short-term and having a revolving door of members and teams which is why she expects ppl to accept her growth and efforts so quickly even if realistically nobody would hand over their trust that easily esp after essentially being harassed in their own home multiple times, like even in normal smps where theres a baseline amount of trust ppl still wouldnt trust you after doing that, what more in a server like lifesteal where general trust is low basically all the time?
#mine.ask#Anonymous#i wrote most of this at like 2 am cause i couldnt sleep so i hope this is understandable lol#like. kabs actions are logical sure but its one extreme to the next#even zam takes at least a couple weeks before changing into something opposite than he was#and hes one of if not the most fickle ppl on the server#like. idk. ive noticed from tge beginning that kabs lore is pretty fast-paced compared to everyone else#but after she got fixated on zam it increased by a lot i feel#like hating him one moment then loving him the next#like damn girl is he your fp /j#but yeah a lot of things kab does can be explained away by the fact that shes never really had to deal with the long-term consequences#of fucking with someone#whether it be because of the fact the smps she was in were short ones or cause clown was there to get rid of her opps#and like. in a regular smp maybe ppl would believe her more#but this is ls where all the players are accutely aware of the fact that trusting the wrong ppl could get them killed or worse#and kab not only has an untrustworthy rep thanks to money smp (that she was was proudly flaunting)(also derap is here)#but her still continuing to lie and manipulate ppl does not make ppl want to give her the necessary baseline trust#that would constitute believing in her whenever she changes her mind/direction#and unfortunately for her; now that shes been established as untrustworthy on lifesteal itself#(compare her rep to wemmbu whos rep comes from non-ls smps and is proudly trustworthy and loyal on ls itself)#that baseline trust is gonna be really difficult to go against#i was gonna give spoke as an example but then remembered he manipulated pbaj during the election arc lmao#but uh yeah reputation is really important on ls whether the players like it or not and kabs rep is unfortunately not the best#like bruh zam thinks shes less trustworthy than Spoke#do you have any idea how untrustwortthy someone would feel you are to get that low on the trustworthiness tier???#like damn it hasnt even been a full season yet
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I think people who saw his backstory wanted to separate his child self from his current self and that’s where the “fake Tsukasa” thing came from because they couldn’t and wouldn’t believe that Tsukasa could be nice
Oh I fully agree! I’ve never been a fan of this distinction because I don’t see the sense in calling the Tsukasa we spend the entire series with and the one Hanako grew up with the “fake Tsukasa,” it seems very redundant. TikTok TBHK fans hate any implication that the current Tsukasa could partially still be baby Tsukasa because it would mean they’d have to challenge their rigid view of his character. People on Tumblr are like this too sometimes, they genuinely believe that Tsukasa has no redeeming qualities and that everyone likes him is an abuser irl (which is so interesting because that’s such a childish, black and white view of the world, I wonder how they treat people irl who don’t conform to their standards for “a good person”)
It’s a very Gen Z attitude (I say as a Gen Z myself), you have to be so morally pure that even the fictional characters you like have to be saints. It has me rolling because these same fans don’t give a FUCK abt the racists in this fandom who have dragged Hakubo’s character through the mud, any of the homophobes who deny the obvious queercoding of Mitsuba and Kou, the misogynists who call Nene a pick-me or say Aoi is leading Akane on, OR the fans who make actual questionable content. No, the ones we should be worried about are people who find Tsukasa a little bit enjoyable
Sorry for the rant, I’m just tired of dealing with these ppl. I don’t rly like talking abt Tsukasa on here bcuz I keep getting these passive-aggressive asks from his haters or even outright hate from ppl too pussy to reveal their usernames. I do get annoyed with it ngl but at the end of the day it doesn’t matter because I’m still going to like Tsukasa and other problematic characters. If I can’t like them publicly without getting hate, I will LOVE them privately and quietly consume content for it. I’ve been don’t it for years with multiple characters that fandoms have deemed pure evil. I will continue to do it and nobody is going to change, even if someone was rly dedicated to harassing me over it I’d just delete all my accounts and go back to being an inactive fandom member. I sleep well knowing these ppl are entirely powerless lol
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Random but i miss 2020/21/22 when the KawaSara fandom was so active, now i barely see people talking about them or making content. Someone needs to bring back the KawaSara fandom somehow😭.
Ikr? its not much but I am trying to bring the fandom back to life as best I can but Im pretty much a one woman army lol plus a lot of personal life stuff has had me busy which hindered my efforts a bit that Im trying to make up for now, starting with hosting this years KawaSara week since the original organizers didn't do it last year and didn't appear to be going to this year either, so I took over because I knew we had support, fans were telling me how sad they were that it didn't happen last year and was begging for someone to organize it this year, so I took that upon myself to do because I didn't wanna see the week not happen this year either because nobody else stepped up to make it happen.
It sucks how so many got run off by bsa constantly harassing them and making them fearful of even making content for the ship because they knew they would get harassed and didn't wanna deal with it.
Alot of ppl also lost faith in the ship, which is understandable, but stupid IMO because there are ships that have gone through worse than KawaSara and became canon but for some reason ppl treated this like 'oh no, conflict, no way this is happening' and Im just like...danm yall really don't know how shipping works huh? but I mean to each their own but like Vegebul is right there if you wanna see a ship thats been through some REAL shit and look at em now.
It's like todays new age shipping everything has to be smooth sailing, super healthy, super pure, minimal to no conflict, for ppl to ship it and believe it'll be canon when that just isn't how it goes.
Like I even saw a shade tweet one time talkin about 'I actually like my ships vanilla, whats wrong with actually wanting a healthy ship built on mutual respect and positive development without any conflict or drama etc' and Im just like...OK? who tf said you couldn't? but these newbies actually treat shipping like some purity contest and have a weird superiority complex for liking the 'healthier' ships and anyone who doesn't like the 'healthy' ship are weird and horrible and don't care about xyz characters etc
Its so dumb, and childish, if all storytellers followed their logic then we wouldn't have some of the best ships in fiction because only the 'healthy' ones would be canon.
Nobody is saying they cant like healthy ships, but doing so does not make them superior to anyone else nor does it give them the right to dictate what other ppl should ship simply because they disagree and think only healthy ships should be supported, thats what ppl have a problem with. You can argue the opposite side has done the same but there is a big difference in severity between the two, 'healthy' shippers act way more superior and aggressive than 'toxic' shippers [as they call them] are.
But on the bright side KawaSara week has been announced to be happening this year and a surprising amount of ppl liked and retweeted it, so it just goes to show KawaSara fans DO still exist and enjoy the ship, they just went quiet or into hiding because of the harrassment.
And guess what? even tho the event page was specifically tagged KAWASARA don't you know antis 'somehow' found it? not even a day passed since it was posted before multiple antis flocked to the announcement to talk shit, that is a prime example right there why KawaSara fans got so quiet and discouraged from making content and talking about the ship, because THIS is what happens when you dare not fall in line with the BoruSara hivemind cult.
If you dont treat Sarada like Borutos exclusive property whos whole world and character revolves around him, then you don't care about Sarada or her feelings
Their logic not mine, so if you dare pair Sarada with someone other than Boruto who they believe owns her, then you don't care about her. If you don't support the narrative THEY set for her regardless if its been confirmed or stated as a canon fact or not, then you don't care about her because fanon interpretations > canon.
This is why I say this behavior screams insecure, I dunno how you could be the most popular ship with the biggest fandom and the most support, a hug in both the anime and manga, being 'fed good' more than any other ship, yet still be THIS triggered by KawaSara just EXISTING
keep in mind this is the ship they claim is dead, a crackship with zero chance of happening, yet they get so riled up everytime KawaSara is mentioned or so much as have a crumb together they all flock to try and discredit and undermine it, if KawaSara fans just have even a tiny bit of fun and happiness with the ship they come flocking to discourage you and make you feel bad.
That level of obsession with a ship you claim has NO CHANCE and is a non threat because your ship is already canon and set in stone, admit it or not, but their behavior screams that their threatened and arent really confident in their ship themselves which is why they feel the need to try and keep KawaSara down to lift themselves up because its the only way they feel secure, by making US go away, and when we don't, they get mad, because for some odd reason they just cant stand to see another shp besides BoruSara getting attention, love, and support, it drives them MAD.
Which is why you cant convince me their not insecure about their ship, that their not threatened by KawaSara, because to put it into perspective think about it like this, do you see SNS being bothered by SasuHinas existence? no right? know why? cuz their secure in their ship and don't feel threatened by SH, so SH is free to exist openly without SNS harassing them because they don't care, SH is irrelevant and has zero impact on them.
Thats how you would think BoruSara would be given how they boast about themselves, how much they have going for em, their popularity, their support, many moments, you'd think they'd be on cloud 9 not even paying little ol KawaSara and BoruSumi any mind but they do, and for some reason its KawaSara especially that gets under their skin more than anything which is strange tbh since thats the ship thats not even semi canon yet.
Lemme put that into perspective, they are more insecure about a ship thats not even semi canon yet, than BoruMitsu, BoruSumi, KawaAda and BoruAda that are semi canon [since many bsa also ship ksu] let that sink in.
I dunno why they have such a specific hatred towards KawaSara, maybe its because a lot of them hate Kawaki, and because Boruto is the top male prize and Sarada is the top female prize in their eyes, therefore nobody else is good enough for them but each other. And by top prizes, Im talking primarily about eugenics and status.
Read between the lines, what was Sakura? the pretty girl all the guys wanted, what was Sasuke? the cool handsome guy from a prestigious clan all the girls wanted, now what is Sarada? the cool pretty Uchiha princess, what is Boruto? the cool young lord all the girls fall for, their not subtle about it at all.
They discredit Sumire's feelings as insincere so she don't feel like a threat, they diminish and downplay Kawakis bond with team 7 and insist he's not even a part of it, they weirdly were fixated on Kawaki's body being inorganic and therefor concluding he was infertile and therefore couldn't have kids and therefore that'd be the end of the Uchiha clan if she was with him [which is telling of how they perceive her that her primary goal in the relationship would be popping babies, not love] they deny Kawaki as a part of the Uzumaki fam, saying he's unworthy, Naruto should disown him, etc etc, to keep him as the worthless orphan that deserves to die they want him to be.
Again, read between the lines, they dont give a danm about Boruto and Sarada together fr fr, this ship is about eugenics, this ship is about being able to brag about the young lord baggin the Uchiha heiress/Hokage, its about bragging rights, its about having the ship with the 2 biggest prizes, its about OP babies finally fulfilling their long weirdly held desire to see what those clan bloodlines mixed together would create, its about saying you don't want SS 2.0 except when its the ship you want then suddenly its A-ok
Foh man
Sorry I went on a bit of a rant but It really is annoying that KawaSara fans cant just exist in peace and always gotta hear them telling us why we shouldn't ship it, why it has no chance, why BoruSara is so superior and set in stone and we should just accept it yatta yatta yatta instead of just minding their danm business.
Yes I know all fandoms are guilty of this, but none like BoruSara, why? cuz its a far bigger fanbase with more support and they use it to their advantage, doesn't help that a lot of boruto stans support the ship as well as many Sarada fans [mostly Boruto stans tho] they even have SS and NH support too, so you cannot compare it. Their a much larger fandom with way more support that makes it extremely easy for them to bully every other fandom because their much smaller and they know it, everyone knows it, but they get away with it cuz whos gonna stop em? their the biggest and the loudest and therefore are right by default because the smaller fandoms are just 'haters' and 'jealous' 😒 lemme stop here
Bottom line I agree, it was nice back then before Ikemoto changed so much when he took over the writing after Kodachi left, ever since then he has completely butchered Sarada's character beyond recognition, not because she understandably cares and worries about her friend, but because thats ALL she cares and worries about, I don't think anyone has even noticed that Sarada hasn't mentioned Naruto or her mother once since the timeskip started besides that one speech that wasn't about either of them, but just about her defending Boruto, not about any grief over her idol being killed, not remorse for sending her dad away and leaving her mom without her husband, no the one and only time she mentions them is to defend Boruto which is abusmal, she didn't even mention her own dad until Boruto MADE her ask about him.
If thats the ship you want me to support then Im good, I don't want a ship where her only personality trait, motivations, goals, and character as a whole revolves entirely around a man and nothing else, just how to make HIS life better and being there for HIS pain and growth and only lifting HIM up while staying in the background doing nothing and having nothing going on for herself.
I know this may sound like 'but wait that makes it sound like KawaSara wont be canon' no Im not saying that, KawaSara is not off the table even with all that bs Ikemoto has done so far, like I said with Vegebul and just shipping in general, just because things look bad doesn't mean you lost, you haven't lost until somethings made official.
Are BoruSara together? no, are they semi canon? no, have either of them been shown or confirmed to have romantic feelings for each other? no, so nothing is lost yet, even if they were semi canon that still wouldn't be a loss because the other half has to reciprocate, like just cuz Sakura, Ino, and Karin liked Sasuke didn't mean he had to reciprocate any of them, just like even if Sarada liked Boruto doesn't mean he has to reciprocate those feelings or vice versa.
The only time a ship has truely 'lost' is when its actually dead, like one half of it dies for example, or its rival ship gets together, or their relationship is ruined beyond repair, like to the point of no possibility of redemption, only then has a ship truely 'lost' and 'died'
So no, none of this is me saying KawaSara cant still happen, it definitely can, especially with Ikemoto and Kishimoto saying Kawaki would be getting more development soon so there's that, if we get more Kawaki focus there might be some Sarada focus in there too in between. I don't wanna speculate tho but thats just a possibility Im throwing out there.
Regardless, sorry for the rant, but I'm really frustrated by this too because its 2024 now and ppl still cant leave KawaSara tf alone? thats what I meant when I said they take advantage of their size, they know they can silence us, but nobody can silence them, and that pisses me off but what can you do.
But hopefully the announcement of KawaSara week this year will get the fandom active and making content again for fans to enjoy, I will try to contribute something myself, I can understand why a lot of ppl might not wanna bother because of the hate they know they'll receive but I hope they don't let that stop them, it was bad enough KawaSara week wasn't hosted last year and everyone was really bummed about it, I don't want them to be happy seeing it happen this year only to not participate because antis wont let them have fun and enjoy the event in peace 🙏 I really hope the fam stays strong and don't let antis stop them from enjoying THEIR event.
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