#it’s just such a coolio idea. And I love making things with other people.

[yuttikkele]

fnf is such a funny little concept you guys. Call me a fetus, but I had no clue what newgrounds was before fnf. Fnf happens, it gets popular, it drags Newgrounds back into the limelight with it, oh hey whattup newgrounds. before you know it, this 20 year old relic and this freshly made shiny object are inseparable? like people either see pico and think “oh fnf” or they see boyfriend and think “oh newgrounds.”

fnf is real jazzy cause a it has a LOT of AUs, and fanon is just as integral as canon. and you wanna know another thing I found out? Most of the “canon” being fanmade is just normal for flash games. It’s just normal! At least, from what I gathered, that’s what it is!

This is probably common knowledge; I just didn’t know about it! but a lot of flash games or animations piggyback off of other characters or concepts, and end up making this whole thing. Like Pico obvi, but I also recently found out about like Sonic flash games like Sonic RPG with Seelkadoom. So on and so forth.

And that is so cool!!! I absolutely think we should bring that back you guys. I love when a community makes something. It’s beautiful.

[lovenhlboys]

From a Distance (E.Pettersson X Reader)

Chapter 1

Masterlist

Tag list form

A/n: hello peoples!! I’m so excited to FINALLY post the first chapter of this fic!!! I’ve been working on it for a long time, and after a few unpleasant delays, it’s finally happening 😁. While this isn’t my first fic, this is my first NHL fic, and the first fic I’m posting on Tumblr, so I’m a little nervous. This first chapter is mostly the set up to the main story, this is reader’s side of things with a flashback story. Chapter two will be mostly from Elias’s point of view. The rest of the chapters will switch back and fourth between the two.

CREDIT: Finally, before we get started I have to shout out my proofreaders. Y’all put up with me and my insanity: @siriushxney @iateyourdonuts @petey-patty @hufflepuff-girlx @cherrylita @immmbabyyygraceee @💕💕And specifically @imagines-r-s ASH!!! Babes, you have been the best and most supportive friend I could’ve asked for during this. You boosted my confidence about this fic and I have no idea what I’d do without you 😁😁

Without further ado, let’s get started shall we!! (Sorry for the long A/N, it’ll only be for this first chapter)

Paring: Elias Pettersson X Fem!Reader

Warnings: lots of cursing, friends with benefits but like...just cuddling???, references to iCarly, mentions of One Tree Hill.

Genere: enemies-ish —>friends —> lovers

Legend: (i suggest having these ready before you read)

Y/C/N/N= your cute nick name, only Markstrom calls you it (you’ll see why) this can be either a pet name you like, or a nick name you already have.

Y/N/N= your nick name, Brock, Quinn, and a few others call you this, it’s more of a playful name. Again, this can be a nickname you already have (if you don’t have one I suggest something stupid (sounds like something Stech or Brock would come up with)

Y/N= this is your first name, only Elias calls you this unless it’s a serious situation, or you’re in trouble, or Brock is being an ass. (If it wasn’t clear before...your last name is Boeser)

Word Count: 2.2k

Summary: you have a hardcore crush on your brothers best friend, who also happens to barely speak to you...it’s a slight predicament.

--------------------------

(This is set in the 2021 season, however, because of my denial, Marky and Stech are still in Vancouver and were never traded... also no Covid. however the season was still delayed just to make it easier to follow.)

Present (Feb. 2021)

You’ve always been best friends with your older brother, you never had any real issues when you were younger and you were inseparable. So much so in fact, that once you graduated early a little less than two years ago (June 2019), he asked you to move to Vancouver and live with him. He was always so protective of you and you appreciated everything he has done in your life. One of the best parts about Brock being your older brother was the people he introduced to you. You aren’t very social and god knows how much of a people person your brother is. Once you had moved in, Brock quickly introduced you to the team. And with your double major in Statistics: Data Sciences and Sports Management, you were able to secure a job with the team. Quickly, you found yourself with a second family, one with many members.

Quinn Hughes is your best friend. when you met him about a year and a half ago, you hit it off immediately. With both of you being the same age and not very social, there was an obvious connection there. When Brock and The boys  go out, it is you and Quinn who stay in and watch shows on the couch (your favorite being New Girl). Huggy Bear is so sweet and you tell him EVERYTHING, even things you’d never tell your brother. You are still thanking the draft lottery every day that the Canucks received the 7th overall pick that gave you your bestie.

Thatcher Demko AKA Dems AKA Thatch AKA baby goalie is the sweetest and most hilarious guy you know. He is always looking after you just like Brock, but he is also one of the most annoying guys you know. When you’d first met you had the biggest crush on him. You told Quinn as much and he gave you so much shit for it. That crush was short-lived though, once you found out how obnoxious he could be. You still love him, just as a friend. Though Quinn never forgets to remind you of the crush that once was.

Bo Horvat is like another big brother to you. Sure you have Brock, but he’s your best friend. Bo, however, is the person you go to when you needed advice. Holly is one of the only WAGs you’ve become close with. She and you consistently have wine and gossip nights, of which Quinn is sometimes in attendance. Plus, you and Quinn are an amazing babysitting team for Gunnar if you have anything to say about it. 

Troy Stecher is the annoying older brother you never had. He always makes fun of you, calls you names, and bullies you in the loving way brothers do. And he never hesitates to come to you if he ever needs girl advice, which seems to happen a lot.

JT was just like Bo, except he is waaay more protective of you, maybe even a bit more than brock. He doesn’t have a sister and when you met, he made it his job to never see you get hurt. Seriously, one day a guy was bugging you at the bar, and both Brock and Bo were struggling to hold him back when he saw him slap you on the ass as you walked away. 

Jacob Markstrom, AKA Marky, AKA Giraffe (pronounced like it is in one of your favorite vines), AKA your cuddle buddy for the past few seasons. Both being single, you felt lonely sometimes and Quinn wasn’t much of a hugger (despite what the nickname might have you believe). Thatcher had offered but Marky, though just as social, is much more laid back. It also helps that he is 6’6 putting him over a foot taller than you. So during movie nights, or late nights at the bar, he is the side you lean on. Of course, you made it abundantly clear to most of the boys and yourselves that you were just friends. As sweet as he was and as great of a boyfriend as he would’ve been, he wasn’t quite your type and your personalities clashed.

Then there was Elias Pettersson, the tall, skinny, Swedish guy you knew as Petey. The guy who looked at you often and barely spoke a word directed towards you. He was Brock's best friend and he came over all the time, you didn’t have an issue with him, and you couldn’t deny he was funny, and from what you’ve heard he is a very kind person. So naturally, he was exactly your type. You’ve had a massive crush on him for a while now, somehow despite the lack of conversation. And the few times he has talked to you, he’s seemed so perfect, but there are only a few times you can remember. 

Right now, as you're on your way to the Canuck’s break room your brother texted you to meet him in, you try to recall those few times, specifically the one where your crush on him truly developed.

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FLASHBACK (some time in January, 2020)

--------------------------

You, Quinn, and Jacob were laying on the L-shaped couch in ‘The Boeser apartment’, you were cuddled under the blanket with Jacob, laying on the section perpendicular to the TV, your heads at the corner. Quinn was on the other side of the couch, his head right next to yours. it was about 7 o’clock and the episode of One Tree Hill you were watching had just ended and you three had not eaten dinner yet. As the countdown for the next episode started, your stomach growled and you got a look from Quinn and a giggle from Jacob. 

“You hungry Y/C/N/N?” Jacob asked.

You looked up at him and giggled, “maybe just a little bit.”

“Y/N/N, you know what sounds amazing?” Quinn asked, you could hear the smirk in his voice.

You turned to each other and you both smirked knowing you were thinking the same thing.

“Spaghetti tacos!!” You both said. 

Ever since you were about 10 and you watched iCarly on TV, you had always wanted to try them. It had become an inside joke between you and Quinn for quite some time as he had the same desire as you to see how good they actually were.

“We should totally try them tonight!!” Quinn was quite excited.

“I’m so confused right now,” Jacob chimed in.

“They’re from a show! They take spaghetti and put it in taco shells,” you explained.

“Ahh, hence the name.” he nodded.

“Exactly,” Quinn said.

You jumped up from the couch excitedly and ran straight to your kitchen.

“Ok, we have spaghetti, spaghetti sauce, ground beef, taco shells, aaaand..... by chance do either of you know how to make good meatballs?”

“You’re asking the Swedish guy if he knows how to make meatballs?” Jacob replied.

“Not Swedish meatballs, Italian, stupid Giraffe,” you retorted. 

“Gross,” he said with a disgusted look.

“Ooo my mom made the best Italian meatballs, let me call her to see if she can send me the recipe!” Quinn said with a big smile.

Quinn exited the kitchen and ran to your room to call his mom. 

“You know, I’ve never seen him so excited about anything,” Marky said with a laugh. 

“Quinn loves his food,” you replied.

“Are Brock and Thatch having dinner with us ?”

“I’ll ask.”

You started boiling the water for the pasta, and you cooked part of the ground beef for the meat sauce. Then you texted Brock:

Y/N/N: hey, you want me to make you dinner

Brock: Yeah, who all is there?

Y/N/N: the usual

Brock: Huggy and Marky?

Y/N/N: yep, so do you want some?

Brock: Yeah, and make enough for another person too

Y/N/N: ok

You figured it was Dems since that’s who he went to hang out with when he left 5 hours ago. 

You continued to cook when Quinn came in and grabbed a bunch of stuff from the pantry and cabinets. “Did your mom tell you how to make them?” you questioned your frantic best friend.

“Yes she did and she sent me the recipe too.”

“Coolio,” you reply.

------------------------

You were almost done cooking, the pasta was done, Quinn had put his meatballs in the oven and there were only 5 minutes left on the timer. And the sauce had about 2 minutes to simmer.

“Oh my gosh, I forgot what to do when they're almost done, she does this thing, I have to call her,” Quinn said with a panicked look on his face. He ran back to your room.

The front door to your apartment opened quickly, both boys laughing, “ahh, shit,  my brother’s calling me,” Brock said as he ran back to his room.

“Why does everyone feel the need to exit the room for phone calls?” you asked Jacob.

He shrugged with a giggle, “I don't know, maybe they don’t trust us,” he said in a sarcastically dramatic tone grasping his chest.

The door closed slowly and you glanced at the doorway where you thought you’d see the ever adorable goalie, Thatcher Demko, instead, you saw the adorable, slender, tall blonde you’d seen all the time, but never had a one on one interaction with... except the first time you met, when he told you that you looked pretty.

“Hi, Petey!” Jacob said as he slipped behind you to watch you mix the sauce, he stood over you looking at the sauce and put his hand on your waist.

“Hi,” he replied, his smile from before had faded.

“Looks so good Y/C/N/N,” Jacob said with a kiss on your cheek, a regular action. 

“Thanks, Giraffe, can you grab the taco shells?”

He grabbed them easily from the top shelf (tall ass bitch -_-), and moved behind you, placing his hands on your waist yet again, to move you to the side. “I've gotta run to the bathroom, but I’ll be right back”

“Ok, you have fun with that,” you said with a wink.

Suddenly, was only you and Elias in the room, and the silence was deafening.

“So what are we eating?” he said, pulling your attention to his bright blue eyes.

“Um, spaghetti tacos, they're from a tv sho-”

“Like from iCarly?” he interrupted.

“...Uh yeah? How'd you know?” you couldnt pull your attention away from his eyes, ‘they are just so beautiful,’ you thought somehow you hadnt noticed this within the on and a half years you’d known him.

“We also get Nickelodeon, you know,” he said while throwing you a smirk that made your stomach flip. 

“Oh, I didn't know that,” you replied, feeling just a little embarrassed. 

“iCarly was my favorite, actually.” 

“Yeah, it was mine too,” you said, smiling back, looking at the way he just lit up your kitchen with his presence.

You both stood there for a second just looking at the other, “So how long have-,” he started.

“OKAY,” Quinn unknowingly interrupted, “so she told me what to do, turns out I have to put sauce over them for the last 2 minutes, so Y/N/N can you just put a tablespoon of sauce on each ball then put them back in for two minutes?” 

“Yeah of course. Elias, you were saying?” you looked back at the Swede.

“Oh it's nothing,” he looked down at his shoes. 

“Ok, Y/N/N you need to call mom and tell her we’re fine and that she doesn't need to worry about us please, Paul says she’s stressing,” Brock said as he entered the room.

“When is she not stressing about us? I’ll call her after dinner, how's dad?”

“Doin’ good, nothing has changed or progressed or whatever since we were home last,” Brock moved and sat on the couch letting out a big sigh.

“That’s good,” you let out a sigh.

“Petey, come here, we’re watching Gossip Girl” Brock shouted at the Swede.

“Ooo what episode are you guys on?” you asked. Brock had mentioned how he was making him watch the show you two had watched about 5 times together. 

“Just after Chuck gets Dan kidnapped at Yale.” 

“Oh so you still hate Chuck?” you asked Elias.

“Ew, yeah...wait is that gonna change?” Petey said with a scoff.

“Uh....,” you stalled.

“Y/N shut up, don't spoil it,” Brock interrupted before you could make it worse.

“Ok well, dinner is ready so just start the show after and we can all watch it together.”

--------------------------

“Oh my god, these are actually amazing,” Quinn said with his mouth full.

“I know, I did not think this was gonna taste good,” Jacob added.

“Hey!” you said, offended.

“Y/C/N/N, you know I love your cooking, it was the idea of the meal that I doubted,” Jacob said leaning into your side and putting his arm around your shoulder.

“Mmmhmm, suuure,” you said, rolling your eyes.

“Hallå Marky, ni två är söta (hey Marky, you two are cute),” Petey said, confusing you, Quinn and Brock with the sudden change in language.

Jacob, being oblivious to what Petey was implying, just said, “tack broder (thanks, bro).”

Little did you know what was going on in Elias’s head.

--------------------------

PRESENT

--------------------------

Before that night, you never really thought of Elias in a romantic way. You'd been around him quite a lot, seeing as how, seemingly, is in your apartment more than his own. Sure, you knew he was cute and very sweet from what you'd seen, but up until that point, you'd never had a one-on-one interaction with him. That interaction, however small, was the beginning of an obsessive crush. Quinn was the first to point it out, you started listening closely any time he talked, attempting to converse with him, and thinking about him on a daily basis even when you didn't see him. And due to your stubbornness, no matter how unrequited your crush seemed, it never faltered. You had always thought he hated you, or maybe he just tolerated you because you were Brock’s sister, and you were always around. 

However, that couldn't be farther from the truth.

--------------------------

Tag list: @calgarycanuck @suffering-canucks-fan

[iceicewifey]

@saiyajima Love your character! So what piece of music or musician is she inspired by, and what's her stand. Is she an Egyptian God stand user or a unique user like Nilla there? Oh! And what's her Stands powers?!

from this post ♡

i hope you don't mind me making a post response because i have way too much to say in the replies 👉👈 okay but first off, thank you for the questions!! i love talking about shay but i tend to ramble so forgive me in advance if this post is a bit long i’m in the middle of writing a new bio post for both shay and her stand so i won’t go tooo in depth, but i’ll do my best to make sure my explanations make sense ;w;

“So what piece of music or musician is she inspired by?”

it’s a bit cheesy, but her reference actually ties in with vanilla’s — she’s named after dj deshay, vanilla ice’s dj in the 90’s

i couldn’t think of a name for her for the life of me, i mean i had a few that i liked but they didn’t really fit, but then i heard this line in “ice ice baby” and it hit me, i couldn’t stop myself hxjdjdk

“Is she an Egyptian God stand user or a unique user like Nilla there?”

she’s just a regular old stand user, or unique like you said as her stand isn’t an egyptian god or a tarot card. it’s actual name is “quiet riot” since it fits with the special ability, but because i named it “coolio” when i first designed her stand and it kind of stuck, so now i have a running joke that shay would try to rename her stand

basically if you see me say coolio, i’m talking about quiet riot

“Oh! And what's her Stands powers?!”

so her stand is basically semi-sentient meaning it can talk to shay (it chooses to only talk to shay however), but it can’t act on her own, hope that makes sense 🥺

i tried to stay with a "basic" abilitiy since part 3 is where we first see stands, so i'll admit it may be a lil lack luster compared to some of the other stands from later parts, but anyway! her stand's ability is sound based; it can silence people, animals, objects, etc. - just about anything except for shay herself with a touch of it’s hand. it can only silence one thing at a time tho, an example being if two people are talking, coolio can only silence one of them without undoing the affect on the other person. the muting also can't transfer from one object to another, an example of this is if coolio was to silence a car, the car itself wouldn't make a sound, but if the car was moving down a dirt road, you'd still hear the rocks and dirt displaced as it moved down the road, just not the engine. it's a bit confusing so i really hope this makes sense 🥺

it can also either mute something completely or so that only shay can hear it — coolio itself is a short range stand, capped a a 10m range, however it’s special ability has a range of 45m - only after it’s touched the item tho.

i'm working on redrawing it now but i have this very rough colored sketch and a pitter patter pop edit to give you an idea of it’s appearance 👉👈

[joshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh]

I don’t usually post my dreams here but this one fucked with me so intensely that just gonna post what I sent my friend verbatim.

In my dream I watched a YouTube video titled "Extra specific text". It had 5 views. It was some sort of incredibly high quality CG animation and live action short film? It starred Sonic the Hedgehog, as he appears in his own live action movie even with the same voice actor, and he lived in a large castle with Toriel and Asgore from Undertale. He very frequently caused a lot of trouble and misbehaved in public places (climbing up people's houses and across their cielings where they could see him, cycling on a 3 story bicycle???), and hated when his parents told him off for it. At some point he hid under a bedsheet in the castle because he got tired of them telling him off. Toriel and Asgore knew he was there, but started approaching the bedsheet as if they knew Sonic was hiding in it, but would then stop and leave him alone, maybe to teach him some weird lesson about behaving or whatever.

Unfortunately I lose the plot here for a while, but I do know that somehow Asgore and Toriel are able to take a far more behaved Sonic out into a sunny summer city, where they stop by a very small corner shop headed by Apu from the Simpsons. He gives Sonic pizza and another food item I forgot for free because of a particular Japanese phrase he remembered. I also remember Asgore and Toriel walking around with these large wide wooden buckets full of water strapped to them? Apparently part of some cultural festival? And Sonic was interested in participating so like coolio.

Unfortunately I've lost the plot *yet again*, but I believe around this time, Asgore and Toriel are home again, but Sonic's now gone on a journey with his friends, who are just a bunch of human boys, ages probably ranging from like 10 to 15 or something. And again, lost the plot, but I think by now the journey involved some loose ideas of time travel or denying fate? I say "involved" past tense because by this point, I think Sonic and friends were actually returning home from the whole ordeal. In order to do this they travel through something of a miniature ocean and several sort of underwater pipes and grates and stuff, even getting hunted by a shark at some point. I believe, bizarrely, the oldest of Sonic's friends here stays behind so he can... spray paint a grate to make it look like Spider-Man was here, which is apparently necessary so Sonic and one of his other friends can escape from the shark? And the older friend himself basically sacrifices himself here. It results in Sonic and the other friend escaping, sure, but they end up mourning his loss and remember how I said time travel and denying fate earlier? Yeah Sonic and friend can't do anything about what happened to this guy, and they're specifically upset about not just his death, but that they're too late to use the time travelly denying fate stuff to help him. The IRL me watching this (because it was a youtube video!!!) found this a bit contrived.

Overall though I did love the video and found it bizarrely gripping in spite of everything. I don't remember who but I managed to talk to one of the other 5 viewers in real life about the thing, and he said something or other about loving the part to do with the power of Earth? Which wasn't something that was actually *in* the video, so I wondered if I'd maybe missed something. What I ended up finding out is that the video was part 2 of a trilogy, and I'd consumed it fully standalone. Unfortunately I woke up before I could watch the other videos. But yeah that was my dream. It feels life changing.

[shnowbilicat]

Human Abathur and Human Anub'Arak

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While playing Heroes of the Storm I got the idea of drawing my main Heroes as humans! Cuz apparently I only play monsterns and creatures and aliens X'D

I decided to start with Abathur, cuz he has been on mind about this since I got the idea aaaand I love myself sum hoods and dark characters :'3

You guys have no idea how much time I spend on Abathur's and Anub'Arak's Wiki pages just reading through ther bios and what not X'D

Down below is more information if ya wanna check it out but tl;dr I adore these two and I lowkey ship them too huehuehue~ ewe

So to keep it short and simple, Abathur is the 'Evolution Master' of the Zerg's, aka he's the guy you go to for upgrades in game ... and that's basically his whole character!

Abathur is pretty much obsessed with evolving his race into more efficient deadlier creatures, even going so far as intentionally trying to wage war against the other races in Starcraft and going against the wishes of the new queen Zerg. He knows perfection is impossible, but he can at least try to get very close to it.

This also reflects in his mannerisms and speech; he speaks just using the most important words, everything else is a waste of time. He even explicitly says he dislikes using pronouns X'D

He's not a fighter, in HOTS he's a support character that specializes in enhancing his teammates to the max, while he sits somewhere hidden.

He's a calm and collected guy, but thanks to the Blizzard charme some of his in game actions and voicelines to reveal a silly side of the character ... which I intend on using 100% ewe

As a human, Abathur still has his rather calm and collected personality, but spiced up with a straight forward approach to others and a little bit of snark as well! He likes to kidnap his teammates into his lab to do experiments on and try to improve them.

Speaking of his lab, instead of the fleshy, boney style the Zerg have going on, in this AU Zerg's have something called 'BioTech', a technology that runs on Zerg essence to function, being alive to an extend too. Fluids, pods and pipes everywhere, dark and black colors and harsh metal machines that are spiky and everything is about in the same style like Abathur's stingers (See reference picture above thxx)

Abathur is basically the crazy scientist in this Human AU and Zagara (The current Zerg queen), Dehaka, Artanis and Anub'Arak have to put up with his antics while spending time with each other cuz idk the Nexus either forced them to or the Zerg's rescued Artanis and Anub'Arak from their death and they owe the Zergs something idk X'D

Anub'Arak is a character from Warcraft and if I read it correctly Anub was once I proud King of a land called Narub. After daring to stand against the Lich King he sadly died, but got resurrected as an undead by said Lich King to serve as an unstopable force of nature.

As far as I understood it Anub did die at least once more and yet again brought back to life, now serving another Lich King. He even killed his own people while serving the Lich King, against his own will of course.

I personally only got to play Warcraft 3 as a small child and always went with Anub as my Hero character cuz ... giant beetle go brrr ewe

And's what he is in game too! A tanky power machine and poops out bbys now and again pfft X'D

Even with his brainwash, Anub is a proud and strong character personality vise. He's a proud Nerubian and King and even though I sadly haven't seen a lot about his personality on wikis, his voice lines are funny and quirky and URGH luv him <33

While thinking of a Human Abathur design and already imagining funny situations Anub has to go through while living with the Zerg's I started to brainstorm Anub's design ... which was difficult af :'3

Anub is a giant beetle monster and pharaoh inspired. Love the concept to death, but making it into a more modern-ish aestheticly pleasing design that doesn't go overboard, easy to draw and still looks coolio was tough ...

I spend some time googling pharaoh costumes and even looked up what modern egyptians would probably wear and it gave me the confidence to try some things out! I decided to go with what comes to my mind first and it worked out well! Though I had difficulty deciding on the color shades as Anub has surprisingly a lot of details and colors, but I'm happy with what I decided for now.

Espacially his hair and skin. I wanted him to have deep purple hair and darker skin, cuz he's basically an egyptian mummy and I wanted to try myself on darker skinned characters ... he's so handsome I'm literally having a crush on him qwq

Anub in this AU is picking up on his personality in game; proud, strong, calm, a good sense of humor and a small dislike for Abathur; in a voice line when Anub'Arak would kill an Abathur he says 'I eat worms like you for breakfast' sooo I like taking that as a nice relationship starter for the two ewe

Of course Abathur is intrigued by Anub's undead-ness and always bugs the Nerubian for experiments and samples of his blood and what not.

In battle Anub mostly either uses scythes or gloves that resemble his ingame claws. He of course can also summon small beetles to aid him in battle and even creat two pairs of beetle wings under his cape and his skirt for better mobility and flight. He can also use his bandages to wrap people up in place (Compared to his nets and cocoons in game) and under his bandages he bares his scars for his fight against the Lich King.

I really adore him, both because I kinda grew up with him and his design, he and Abathur are now my bbys and I adore and love them so so much qWq

I do plan on creating Dehaka, Zagara and Artanis in the future hopefully, but I just wanted to upload my two favs cuz I love them already and mmmmgh they so gud :'33

[h2oishealthy]

Everytime I see the arguement that :if Lilly didn't exist then he would be a deatheater 'I genuinely get confused on like why is this the hottest tea that they have when it's just cold water.

So the reasons why I think snape would enjoy the dark arts (without Lilly) it's like for: recognition, academic interest, security. It's all based on self interest okay cool whatever people have been selfish before Coolio.

Assuming that the mauruaders don't target him because constantly because there is no Lilly therfore he's just another slytherin. Snape still would have to deal with all the other shit : he still will be isolated in his house, the house he is in has already been isolated from the rest of the school, he is still poor, he still is the scrawny scrapper who wants to make a mark, he has no strong sane adult presence, he has friends of the same background which makes him susceptible to group think.

You really thought you got a big brain moment when the mud blood incident is what proves he can be a deatheater. No lol mauruader stans were right he would be a death eater because where else does he go then? Also do you have any idea how much of a target snape is just by being out casted, poor, isolated - cults thrive on vulnerable people like this. Like there is no other better alternative for him. That's the sad part love, even if the mud blood incident didn't take place snape would choose any option that fits his self interest (it's a very him against the world), he doesn't win there is no support system that allows him to be safe or to choose differently .

You know those posts in early 2013s where people could ask : poor but happy or rich but sad. And people just simply commented poor but happy because money can't buy happiness :). It's like absolutely absurd that there is such an outrage for people who believe that joining a cult (that provides them with what they are looking for) when they are vulnerable and in circumstances where there is no support for them.

No shit he would be a loyal death eater : his entire world view is shaped by those around him, he has changed his views at some point be feel recognized, to disagree would mean to start again, it falls in his own interest. Lilly shows him what it means to see the good in people, to see the good in humanity that's why he switched and kept that belief for so long. He knows that something good exists because his ex best friend was good. And she died fighting for that belief. Because like If I told you: if you have been isolated and you were easily persuaded by cults that have the same it's us against the world mentality you would absolutely not try to ruin what you have - who would do that? Who would want to just make their place in the world or the sake of it ? Why not just endure it? Why fight? .

Lilly was fighting for her right to be in the magical world its very much an us against them but it doesn't matter to her if she dies fighting because she has a strong morals. Her unwillingness to give in to what the majority were saying is what let's snape know that he can participate in the right side in the war and endure what he has to go through. Because if someone who he knew was good did this and died for this he knows he can maybe do this as well.

wow, thank you for this! i’m not very good with putting things into words so i hope i can get it out right

the whole “what if” argument is so dumb bc you can say that for anything. if lily hadn’t been born, sev would or wouldn’t have chosen the same path, we just don’t know, but people love to use that excuse as a way to prove that snape is a horrible person who would always choose the death eater path which is so dumb bc like ?? if snape had a good home life, supportive parents, wasn’t bullied and had friends and adults who cared about him maybe he wouldn’t have chosen to be a death eater. if kreacher wasn’t hurt, regulus would never have turned against voldemort. if something happened to draco, narcissa would have turned against harry. it’s just a useless argument which will never get you anywhere bc, while they can chose to believe it, that the matter of the fact is it’s not canon, it’s a headcanon, which they can have but it should never be used in a debate or a discussion. it just won’t get you anywhere.

and you are right, snape was very much a product of his environment. even if lily hadn’t existed, he was still poor and abused and not entirely safe amongst his slytherin peers, esp at this time where voldemort was actively recruiting and spreading propoaganda. but who knows, bc as i said, it’s all what ifs.

him having an intrest in the dark arts never seemed like such a big deal to me? idk if this is just me, but it’s like u said, i always thought his interests were acedemic based, he’s the type that wants to know everything about everything and does his own independent researches and he hones his skill. and it comes in handy too - when dumbledore got cursed bc of the ring it was snapes knowledge of the dark arts that saved him and allowed him more time to live. for a child with an abusive muggle father and a pureblood mother, he was probably grateful for anything magical that he could get his hands on to feel closer to his roots and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. however, dark magic is dark magic and it’s dangerous - it was the responsibility of the adults in his life to shelter him from that but no one ever cared enough to do that for him so he was let loose to do as he pleased, and that is what caught his interest which developed and progressed into something more as he grew older, which we see with him inventing his own spells (specifically sectumsempra).

the odds were really against him from such a young age :/ it’s sad

[mandoalorian]

Okay... I feel sorta pushy because I did send in a request about 10 minutes ago but I completely forgot to congratulate you on 200 followers! You deserve them all. Now, you don't have to do this but I'm really enjoying December Magic and I was wondering if you had any other seasonal headcanons about Maxwell Lord? Like... what's he like during Easter and Halloween etc, if you catch my drift? Okay coolio have a night day/night wherever you are!!! 💞

NOOO WAYY! THIS REQUEST IS ONE OF MY FAVOURITE THINGS EVERRR :0 thank you for sending me this!! and im so glad you're enjoying December Magic!!! I know there's only three chapters out but I've had so much amazing feedback so far, it really spurs me on to write more. Hopefully I'm going to get the next chapter out tomorrow.

SEASONAL HEADCANONS [Maxwell Lord]

Christmas

Hehe, self promo alert! Read December Magic HERE !!! it’s a Max Lord series based around Christmas!

New Years

Hello!! You still gotta read December Magic if you want a taste of what he's like during New Year.

He has the same resolutions... every freaking year. He wants his business to make more money than ever before, he wants to be on the cover of Forbes and he wants to be announced sexiest man alive by People magazine.

He doesn't like fireworks. They're loud, and they irritate him. Maxwell Lord doesn't like anything he doesn't have control over.

Valentines

He doesn't really care. Sure he can get amazing sex, but he can get that any time of the year. The vday advertisments on television irk him so much. He doesn't celebrate it because he doesn't have anyone to celebrate it with. Until he meets you.

You lure him into enjoying Valentine's Day so much so it's something that he genuinely looks forward to every single year. His favourite thing to do is follow you to the lingerie store and watch you try on lacy undergarments for him. You inevitably buy wayyy too much but that's not really an issue for Maxwell. Oh, he likes to go to the back of the store too and pick out a few sex toys. At first he's shy about it... a little prude because he's in public but it doesn't take long for him to embrace it.

You told him over and over again he doesn't need to buy your affection with gifts. Eventually he understood, but Valentine's day becomes an exception to this rule. One thing is for sure; Max Lord never forgets. The pair of Louis Vuitton heels you mentioned at dinner three months ago? He's claimed them to give to you on vday. The pair of diamond earrings he caught you staring at in the mall? They're yours too. He spoils you.

April Fools

Fun fact! Maxwell Lord was actually born on April Fools Day. That's canon. Literally. Google it. He's an Aries. (and suddenly everything makes sense).

He doesn't pull pranks on people. If someone tries to pull a prank on him he loses his mind. Don't even try him. He's not one for practical jokes.

He doesn't like his birthday. He feels like he's getting old.

He doesn't care for the presents and gifts he receives. He already had everything he could ever want.

He loves birthday cake though.

Easter

What do you expect me to say for this, really? He's a middle aged man and he doesn't see his kids. He's not gonna dress up as a white bunny and hop around the garden plotting an egg hunt.

Even when you and Maxwell have kids; he still doesn't care.

You propose the idea of doing something to celebrate Easter but he just huffs and grunts about it.

If his kids want an egg made from solid gold though, they'd get it.

Thankfully his kids just want a Reese's Pieces egg.

Halloween

He hates it. He hates the kids knocking at his door, trick or treating. He won't get dressed up. He gets scared easily. He doesn't like horror movies? What's the point?

You just about persuade him to go to his office Halloween party. The theme is fancy dress. You assure him though, that he doesn't need to dress up. He'll scare his employees just by showing up.

Thanksgiving

Maxwell Lord has the world in his hands. He has money, fortune, fame, and everything he could possibly want (materialistic wise...)— you'd think that Thanksgiving would be his time to reflect on his privilege.

But no, not really.

His heart isn't made from complete stone though. Every year, during the week of Thanksgiving, there is an increase of charity galas hosted by Maxwell Lord. He does like to give what he can back. He does like to help others (but that might just be coming from his superiority complex).

Permanent taglist (let me know if you would like to be added!):  @supernaturalgirl @phoenixhalliwell @ah-callie @luvzoria @stardust-galaxies @wickedfrsgrl @goth-topic  

[lizzibennet]

Honestly, I *DO* like episodes 7, 8, and 9. BUT I would have LOVED if they did everything they did AS PLANNED, and then added the alternatives film (the versions we got) as a bonus. Honestly I hate ROS because Rey is related to HIM. Lbh, NOBODY would have sex with p*alpatine

the problem with episodes 7-9 is that each is a standalone film. that is not a problem in itself since every other star wars trilogy movies could technically be watched as a standalone and with a little context you’d be fine, since they tell an overarching story with three more or less independent characters. episodes 7-9 do not tell an overarching story, they are each chapters to a different telling of rey’s story. ep 7 tells the story of rey nobody, who is both the narrative foil and the in-world counterpart of one of the strongest force users alive, and that’s honestly already a really good premise, buuuuut if we’re going to have a trilogy then that main conflict should be resolved either in the second movie or at the very least in the first half or so of the third because things! need! to! happen! for! a reason! except that they don’t because at the climax of the second film kylo tells rey she’s a nobody, and apparently that changes nothing within her resolve which..... fine, let’s push it and say she’s going to deal with that in the third movie, whatever, but we get to it and actually she’s palpatine’s granddaughter so actually she’s all the jedi which. UGH. the point I’m trying to make is that she is a completely linear character being thrown in three different takes of her story, and I hate to say this because I LOVE her, but after the second movie I totally got it when people said she was a mary sue because her faith in the force and the jedi and her kindness and blahblah NEVER really waivers (except when she gets angry at luke which. saves everyone! how fuckin convenient!) and you could come out and say “lori, if we think like that luke skywalker is also a mary sue”, which, again, don’t get me wrong because he is literally my son but he IS. and in the 80’s that is FINE cause it’s the story we needed - a story about this starry (heh) eyed guy whose unwaivering faith in people and The Magic Around Him™️ may seem a little misguided at first but ends up saving everyone, but that was 40 years ago. and maybe it was silly of me to expect a nuanced take on The Human Specificity Of Empathy from a star wars movie but you know what, I don’t think it was since gareth edwards paved the way with rogue one that is the epitome of analysis of what it really means to be good or bad and I’m not going to rant about how rogue one is the best star wars movie today BUT it set the tone for a less us-vs-them view of the world which was VERY exciting and in line with what I think the 2010-20’s really wants from its heroes in general. so if we want to follow the narrative beats of the first trilogy or at least the first movie (no way of knowing where jj abrams would’ve gone in ep 8) I think that’s fine so as long as you make it your own, and imo jj abrams was, and then rian johnson was like nope lol, and jj abrams tried to fix the narrative 180 rian johnson tried to do, and like. episode 8 is a very fun movie to watch as a star wars fan but narratively it does not make any fuckin sense. I thought so then and now with ep 9 out I think so even more. rian johnson is a very creative guy, he had some REALLY interesting ideas, but WHY give him the creative liberty to do so in the MIDDLEEEEE of the trilogy??? WHY!?!?!? give him a star wars story film! he would KILL it! or you know wait a couple years so the director of the first movie who actually knows what the fuck he’s doing can direct the second, but noooooo the damned fucking mouse wants to wipe his ass with $100 bills so we cannot possibly wait. cohesive storytelling? we don’t give a shit about that in the house of le mouse.

that all to say, there is nothing Fundamentally wrong narratively with either of the three movies. they’re fun to watch. even ep 8, possibly my least fav of the bunch, was a fun experience in cinemas. it’s star wars and disney - they know how to make a blockbuster. the thing is that as a trilogy they simply do not make any sense. if you analyze each movie individually all three seem to have different core themes: ep 7’s is “nobodies are people too actually”, 8 is “maybe space fascists aren’t so bad, actually (also luke is here hey luke)”, and 9 is “I take that back, nobodies aren’t a people actually”. it’s satisfying to watch as a casual spectator who goes to the movies, seems some space gays with one braincell between the three of them and is like coolio and then goes home, but it’s not satisfying to watch as someone even the littlest bit invested in the story because there is no cohesive roundup of everything. the original trilogy was like is luke an idiot for being nice? is vader actually redeemable? is han deserving of trust despite being a space nerf herder? and sometimes u were like what’s happenin!!!! but in the end all your questions are answered quite satisfactorily. luke was right, han is sexy, vader was redeemable. in the prequels: how does anakin skywalker become darth vader? how do he and obi juan become the enemies we see in the death star? what happens to padme? and while the sequels are a beautiful mess that I love they do answer the questions they put out when episode 1 begins, so you know, imagine liking the sequels and hating the prequels when the PREQUELS make more sense, the PREQUELSSSS. anywhomst, point is: the sequels are like here is finn. finn is the first stormtrooper we see the face of! he defects! also the first stormtrooper we se defect. the other defector we know is bodhi from r1, who is very sympathetic despite being imperial, and clearly we’re supposed to feel empathy for finn. finn survives! finn finds rey! go finn I love u! and then. WHAT happens to finn? what furthers his character development into a full fledged person when he starts out with not even a name? where’s his anger? where’s his OBVIOUS narrative direction that should be “ex stormtrooper who shows imperials that fascism is bad actually”? nope, goes almost unmentioned from then on. and again, I love finn, he is literally baby, but he also froze after ep 7 because rian johnson decided to fuck shit up and also because disney is racist. poe? the do-good soldier who is supposed to be the Believer™️? actually he is the only one who was any semblance of a coherent role in ep 8... which is promptly retconned when jj abrams makes him a fucking spice runner in ep 9 lol. who is rey? and they’re like she’s a nobody and that’s why she’s spesh, wait no she is a nobody but she’s spesh because space fascist has the hots for her, oh, no, wait, she’s spesh because PALPATINE. what was the theme of this trilogy? what was the thesis? what questions did they set out to answer and did they answer them at all, never mind well? and it’s unclear, obviously, because three movies with three clearly different views behind them won’t magically make narrative sense just because you are trying to piece them together. they’re not pieces at all, they are three independent takes on the stars and the wars. enjoyable as little snacky treats, not as a three meal course. (also I’m not even going to TOUCH on how what was already a narrative mess was made worse by disney’s NONSTOP fanservice. sw sequels and game of thrones last season are the cautionary tales of why fanservice sucks and while a good, intelligent if cliche or predictable story is always better than a Shocking™️ one that doesn’t make any sense. but if I start on that I will LITERALLY not shut up SO AHEM CONTINUE @LIZZIBENNET)

ALL that to say: I agree w/ u and I LOVE your idea of each movie being an alternative version of the story. honestly, that would make more sense than what we have right now off the bat lol. can you imagine ep 7 being the rose colored version of the story via the heroes’ lenses, and then ep 8 being the “actually space fascism is good if ur kylo ren” version of the story, and then, ep 9 is what actually happened... told by rey nobody, who dances the line between the good and bad until there’s not a line anymore. CHEF’S FUCKIN KISS obviously much more risqué than disney would ever go for, but genius! much better than trying to make us care about these conflicts that they make up in the first 15 mins of each movie. ur mad because episode 7 follows the beats of 4? here’s three movies on why you were wrong when you judged it all true and therefore Bad. HUHU I love that

also the galaxy is a vast place... I am sure there are emperor fuckers out there

[a-dotrivenitupontop]

30 days of autism acceptance

day 3- relationships

-romantic/sexual

no. 1.) im a minor. 2.) im demiromantic/sexual who may or may not be aegosexual. so idk if ill ever want sex. probably not. it involves touching. and nudity. and ok yeah basically everything i want to avoid in life. the idea of it? sure coolio why not. real life? any sudden sex scenes in films? “hahahahaa the floor looks very nice doesn’t it!! 🙃🙃🙃” like if i want physical affection can’t we just,,, hug??? either platonically or romantically??? is that so bad??? i might want romance but in the VERY far future. I definitely get more squished than crushes lol. it’s weird how im so sex repulsed while im also bi so wooo!! stereotypes clashing!!! (the only stereotypes I am are the cuffs, the finger guns and the awkwardness) id say that the whole romance/sex thing has a thing to do with my autism but then again so does everything haha.

-platonic

it’s obvious if you know me in real life. ✨ i ✨ struggle ✨ to ✨ make ✨ friends ✨. one time i had a conversation with someone and i was so awkward most of the time it looked like i was putting it on. especially when i started rambling about my special interests and less awkward. the person must've been thinking i was faking it the entire time. but i mean now we have pretty ok bond. that’s not really the same thing for other peers i did meet some other people one time but the group was kinda overcrowded and i didn’t really know anyone so ive sort of become the detached person they wave at a few times. like i did get to have nice conversation with one of them about musical theatre but that bond’s kinda gone now as they’ve moved on. however my I’m still processes us as friends so it’s weird. maybe brain also counts another person as a friend despite our only conversations being over whatsapp at midnight because we separated three years ago and have only seen each other a handful of times since. to be fair we were like ultra-super-hyper-bff-and-ever-and-evers soo do whatever you like brain. but the weirdest thing is how i still sometimes get the urge to talk to someone i lost contact with at like 8 years old. i think it has something to do with be being trans as well as autistic. like i want to come out to everyone i knew pre-trans-relisation but i can’t. one (not that long ago) time i cried over a straw getting lost in a milk carton because i never had the chance to tell the straw i was trans. and also because nostalgia and luCIAN WAS A B I T C C IN THAT SITUATION.

-family

it depends on the family member. my mum, sister or brother? yeah. we’re cool. we’re close. we’ve had exciting 3am conversations. my dad, my other sister or grandad? ehhh we’re not THAT close but ehhhhhh it’s whatever. im definitely more me in a home setting that any other setting. theres not really much to say about this except from how distance and time suene apart doesn’t really affect my relationship with anyone in my family. like, my aunt lives a LONG way away. we’re still ok with each other. i only get to see my nephews somewhere between 2 and 12 times a year but one of them still loves me to death. the other one? welll,, he’s only like two or three years old and barely knows who i am so he’s kind of an outlier.

all in all. i’m definitely an autistic stereotype when it comes to relationships. do i like it? no. do i hate it? no. it’s what it’s. i probably have more to add (like more friendships, how i react to a bad rivalry or stuff like that) but im kinds running out of:

-vocabulary

-brain power

-will to live

-and energy

so uhh.. ill cover that next year!

[bylerchoseme]

A love letter to Elsanna.

People must think we’re unaware of their status considering they go after Elsanna shippers and bring up the incest label. You know what? Anna and Elsa are sisters. They have the same parents. We get it. Thanks for reminding us of the obvious. Do you want awards point for that? Coolio. I could care less what ya’ll antis think. You’re only mission is to destroy Elsa and Anna’s love for each other but on the bright side.......you’ll fail trying.

Anna and Elsa could be a million things. At the end of the day, incest and sisters is just a word. Disney wanted to give them a label and they’ve done that. They wanted to go far with them to show how deep sisterly love is and not a force in the world could match them. They had this idea about stronger together. While trying to create this image, Disney forgot their limit.

Anna and Elsa were thoroughly developed in an intimate way where boundaries weren’t met. Someone forgot to tell the writers when to stop where enough is enough. Eventually their efforts paid off but not in the way they hoped. Therefore, Anna and Elsa were made into a love story. That much is a given. Their love grew and look what ended up happening.

Canon couples of Disney don’t hold the weight Elsanna does. It’s like no one wanted to try with them. The truth of the matter is canon ships were/are fantasies. These fantasies exist to give children hope they could find a Prince Charming one day. At the same time these couples are an unrealistic portrayal of love. Love isn’t perfect and never will be. Happily ever afters don’t always exist.

Now let’s discuss Elsanna. People are triggered by them because they’re realistic. They have real problems due to the circumstances. Imagine being a child and having to grow up early because there wasn’t a choice. Things happened so fast that neither could process what was taking place. One minute they’re playing and the next it’s goodbye until we’re adults. That’s very traumatizing.

Disney can preach about sister/s all they want and convey the message of family to viewers but they haven’t been doing a good job. Not only do their words not match up with what we’re seeing but the amount of time they put into the relationship between Elsa and Anna is 99.9% more than any canon dynamics or other relationships within Frozen.

Yes, we do ship incest. Yes, we do ship two sisters. Yes, we do love Elsa and Anna together romantically. So what? This isn’t our fault. Disney started a romance between the two because they didn’t know how to write them like sisters. That’s the explanation. You should be taking all of that hateful fuel against Disney and all of the crew behind the Frozen franchise. They’re responsible for Elsanna shipping.

On a different note, Elsanna isn’t sisters or incest to us. That’s not why we love them together. We don’t think “Oh they’re sisters and incest, lets invent romance where it doesn’t exist to piss off people.” Canon evidence gives us reasons without doubt why they belong together as lovers rather than sisters even though sisters is what Anna and Elsa are. There is an even bigger beyond the surface masterpiece of meets the eye. You have to be open minded to understand how Elsanna fans think.

If there wasn’t anything between Anna and Elsa other than just sisterly feelings, they wouldn’t have had such a huge following. Based on how they interact verbally and physically should tell you all you need to know. There are three types of people and they are the ones that see what is in front of them, the ones pretending what they see isn’t actually there, or the ones in denial. Stop coming at us over something that was out of our control. We weren’t responsible for any behind the scenes stuff. We just saw what was there. That’s all.

Don’t even get me started on Elsanna’s chemistry. They were animated to have chemistry. You can’t draw Elsa and Anna at the top of your head in any way you want and hope they have chemistry. The animators wanted Elsa and Anna to have romantic chemistry. They made sure to send that message. A lot of thought is put into that. Siblings should never have chemistry. Sisters should never have chemistry. We know how normal siblings are supposed to look like, act like, and talk like.

While ya’ll see incest and sisters, we see two women deeply and madly in love each other. The story began with Anna and Elsa’s love and ended with their hauntingly tragic love story. I call them hauntingly tragic because they were separated for the fourth time when they had a lot to learn and explore together. I won’t take what Disney or the cast and crew say to heart. Words are only words unless they mean something. Anyone can say them. Does that mean it’s the truth? Not at all.

Just let us love Anna and Elsa in any way we want. Why do you care so much? You can mind your own business and ignore us maybe. There is a blacklist and block button option. Use them if the shipping bothers you. No one is stopping you. Why make it a hobby to pick on others? Do something useful and meaningful with your time.

Elsanna can’t be what you want them to be. Pretending they’re just a figment of our imagination makes you look naive. Elsanna is real. Elsanna doesn’t exist in our minds. We didn’t create the characters. We fell in love with them because of everything they are and aren’t. Maybe you should listen to Idina because you’d be surprised.

Tons of people have pointed out what they saw between Elsa and Anna including those that don’t like them as a couple. The difference is they can admit it. Does that mean it’s easy to say the truth? No. We’re not alone in this. Others think like us too. It takes bravery to face the light.

[hellyeahomeland]

“Designated Driver”: an HYH recap

Disappointingly, this episode doesn’t pick up in Carrie’s hotel room after Yevgeny kissed her goodnight. It is the next morning, and she’s speed-walking down a street in Kohat. Her good buddy Arman, whom we met in the premiere, has driven all the way from Kabul to pick her up.

She races into his truck and starts frantically writing on the first piece of paper she can find. It is a real treat to see Claire Danes’ actual handwriting! ...Wait, none of you care about that?

Anyway, Arman is like, hello wtf?? Carrie explains it’s something she heard, evidence actually, and she needs to write it down before she forgets. That’s right, Carrie fucking Mathison was DRUGGED and woke up the next morning and still could recall the crucial climactic ten seconds of that cockpit recording even though right after she shared a steamy kiss with Yevgeny. She is brilliant, and we have no choice but to continue to stan. She asks Arman to drive her to Bagram Airfield back in Afghanistan, and off they go.

In the White House, Hayes, Linus, and Zabel are meeting with the Pakistani ambassador about the rapidly escalating situation on the border. Hayes is his typical uninformed self, Zabel is his typical racist warmonger self, and Linus is his typical silent “have I been swallowed whole by an alligator yet?” self. It’s all very… depressing, to be honest. The ambassador says they’ll defend themselves with all they have if the Americans invade.

Outside the Oval, the ambassador is verging on speechless. Linus says they have to be the grown-ups in the room but suggests that maybe as a show of good faith, they could get that special ops team released from Kohat. Remember? The one that Carrie tricked Jenna into giving up last week. Linus says they are thisclose to oblivion, and I have heartburn.

Back in Pakistan, Jalal is overjoyed that the government is protecting him. Balach, his father’s closest advisor, is like “coolio dude, congrats.” Jalal asks for some advice and Balach says he should gather men and weapons and lay low. Once again, Jalal is offended at the suggestion of hiding. Instead, he asks Balach to find a target (i.e., Americans) for them to attack. Balach refuses—he’s not afraid to fight, in fact he’s been doing it as long as Jalal has been alive. But he’s also not stupid, which Jalal most certainly is. And if this show has told us anything this year, it’s that the dumbest people in the room are the most dangerous.

A few hours later (but really, what is time?) Carrie arrives at Bagram Airfield, which is apparently like an open-air farmer’s market because she just walks right in, no issue. She finds Worley. Man, this episode is making us remember! He’s the mechanic from “Chalk Two Down” who had the pregnant girlfriend and whom Carrie initially suspected of being involved in the helicopter crash. She brings him her rough transcript and asks him to translate. He’s the third person after Saul who seems to give a shit about the flight recorder but confirms what it sounded like last week: the crash was an accident. Fluke mechanical failure due to metal in the engine oil. Carrie asks why they didn’t call in to tell someone what was happening. He answers: “Aviate, navigate, communicate. They never got past step one.”

Then Carrie finally rings Saul.

Saul: Thank God, I’ve been worried sick. Carrie: It was an accident, Saul. Mechanical failure. I’m at Bagram and they just confirmed it. Saul: Jesus. We need to get you and that flight recorder back to DC ASAP. Carrie: Oh, right… I don’t have it. Yevgeny stole it from me. Saul: What’s this transcript then? Carrie: I just Rain Man’d that shit.  Saul: First, I love you. But second, we have nothing. Carrie: You are getting on my last nerve. I’ve risked my sanity, my life, and my reputation for the truth on this fucking flight recorder. I heard it. The Russians have it. These are fucking facts. Don’t tell me that’s nothing. Saul: You have zero credibility, Carrie. You’re somewhere between a rogue agent and a national security threat. Carrie: Ok, Mr. National Security Advisor. Why don’t you do something? Talk to the Russians and figure out their endgame. I’m so fucking tired. Saul: Fine. You should probably turn yourse— Carrie: [click]

At Kabul station, Mike Dunne continues to be the most annoying person alive. He whines to Jenna about Carrie showing up at Bagram, and Carrie shooting down the helicopter, Carrie giving up the special ops team last week, Carrie this, Carrie that. He’s obsessed with Carrie is my point. Jenna tries very hard to Play It Cool but her anxiety about Carrie returning back to Kabul is palpable. It’s only a matter of time before Carrie starts talking and sells Jenna down the river, too.

The show continues to bring back ALL THE MINOR CHARACTERS. Saul meets with the Russian ambassador from last season, the one who couldn’t make anything happen with Carrie’s release. He tells him about Carrie and Yevgeny and the ambassador is like “they were supposed to stay away from each other! Those crazy kids!” It’s very much two dads meeting to talk about their rebellious teenagers and just what are we gonna do about them? Saul asks for his help locating the flight recorder. He says he’ll see what he can do.

He calls Saul later and tells him the Russians don’t know squat. Which Saul knows is a lie. I mean, they both know it’s a lie. We all know it’s a lie. Saul does his best angry, menacing whisper but the ambassador just says that the Russians have what they want.

In Kabul, Carrie is amping up to go New Car Smell on Yevgeny’s ass. She suspects he’s already back in Moscow devising new ways to fuck her over, but she sneaks into his apartment looking for some evidence or clue as to his whereabouts anyway. Surprisingly, the place is completely empty. Afterward, she and Arman wait out a traffic jam in the truck.

Arman: What next? You always know what to do next. Carrie: Not this time. I’ve dug myself a gigantic hole, but I don’t see a way out. Just a few days ago there was a moment where I actually thought I’d done it. I’d won. Now look at me. God, I’m so fucked.

Suddenly, Carrie is grabbed from the truck by two men with guns and thrown into an abandoned building where Yevgeny enters.

Yevgeny: I’m sorry for the ambush. Carrie: You’ve done way worse things to me. Yevgeny: That wasn’t personal. Carrie: Fuck you, it’s always personal. Anyway, you took something from me and I want it back. What’s the price? Yevgeny: Saul asked the same thing. For him, it’s not for sale. For you, I could make a deal. Carrie: Please be less cryptic. Yevgeny: Saul’s been running an agent in the Kremlin for years. Find that agent, and I’ll give you the flight recorder. It’s the only thing worth more to my country than the US self-destructing in Pakistan. Carrie: That person doesn’t exist. Believe me, after all these years, I’d know. Saul probably just made up the story to get you all paranoid. Looks like it worked. Yevgeny: No, he exists. It’s the only explanation. Carrie: Look, even if this person existed, Saul would never give them up. It’s his first and only commandment. You never give up an asset. Yevgeny: I never said it would be easy. Carrie: It’s not that it’s not easy. It’s impossible. I’ll do anything else, but I can’t betray Saul. Yevgeny: Based on recent events, I’d say you can do just about anything.

Back at Jalal’s base, Balach says he’s found a target. He asks Jalal for some men to place an IED. Jalal wants a driver instead. That would make a statement: that they’re not afraid to die. Once again Balach worns that they’re inviting more endless war, but Jalal won’t hear it. He orders Balach to prepare the car, and he’ll find the driver.

In Kabul, Carrie and Arman are parked outside the CIA station. Saul calls Carrie again. He shares the dead end with the ambassador and asks Carrie why the Russians would lie about it. She’s silent and then lies about the meeting with Yevgeny. “I found it, Saul. The truth,” she says. But the truth isn’t much use if no one will listen.

Arman tries to dissuade her from turning herself in. He can get her to Dubai and she can hide out. But she knows that’ll only delay the inevitable, and things are about to get much, much worse. Arman senses a shift—just a few hours ago it was Bagram this, Yevgeny that. Now she seems resigned to her fate. He asks what happened with those two men. “They made me an offer, knowing I’d have to accept.” She thanks him and tearfully hugs him goodbye.

She steps out of the truck then and spots two girls playing in the street. It’s an interesting moment: is she thinking of Franny? Or herself, that fearless little girl Maggie recalled last season? We can’t know for certain, only that she ditches her phone and walks straight  up to the gate at the station and turns herself in: “I’m Carrie Mathison. I’m wanted by the FBI. I’m turning myself in.”

Inside the station, a guilty Jenna has convinced Mike to let her supervise the handover of the special ops team at the border. Then Alan reveals that Carrie just turned herself in. There’s an extended sequence in which

Jenna looks like she’s about to throw up

Mike looks practically giddy at the recent development

Carrie looks like she wants to strangle every single useless person in the building

Balach is overseeing the assembly of the car bomb and notices that Jalal is sharing some food with his two young sons. He asks what the hell is going on and then Jalal tells him that he’s found the driver for the attack: him. Balach refuses.

Jalal: Fine, I’ll just kill your wife and sons anyway. Then I’ll kill you. It’s what my father would have done. Balach: Don’t hurt them. Jalal: They’re the family of a coward who wouldn’t agree with all of my dumb ideas! Balach: I can’t believe how completely terrible you are. Jalal: Look at it this way: you can drive this car and die a martyr. Then your family will be treated with honor. Or you can refuse and you’ll all die. Balach: Give me your word that they’ll be taken care of.

Jalal just nods.

In Interrogation Room #1, Jenna enters to give Carrie some water but it’s Jenna so she’s not able to hide her true motives for long.

Carrie: This little dance we’ve been doing all season has been amusing but it pays off now. Jenna: What? Also what the hell are you doing here? Carrie: I’m turning myself in. Jenna: Why now? By the way, the special ops team that you tricked me into giving up is being freed. Remember them? All that bullshit about a flight recorder— Carrie: It wasn’t bullshit. Jenna: Everything that comes out of your mouth is bullshit. Carrie: Just say what you came in here to say. Jenna: Are you going to give me up? Because I was dumb enough to trust you? Carrie: No. Jenna: How can I know you won’t? Carrie: I thought we already went over this. You can’t know anything for sure. If you’re looking for guarantees, you’re really in the wrong line of work. But I just promised you. Your bosses here will never know you were involved, and that’ll have to be good enough. Jenna: I lovehate you. You still put me in a terrible position. Carrie: Maybe I did. But in my own fucked up way I ended up teaching you a lesson. On the other hand, I have actual problems. And if this is the guiltiest you ever feel, consider yourself lucky. Now go, before the FBI catches you talking to a ~Russian spy~.

Vanessa Kroll—remember her, she’s the I Mean Business FBI investigator from “Two Minutes”—steps into the interrogation room for her turn. Jenna and Mike observe from behind the one-way mirror. She begins to lay out the facts in front of Carrie. Well, I should say “facts.” They’re really just statements about Carrie’s behavior, as told from another vantage point, that make her look really guilty. Carrie plays at the improbability of it all. Carrie singlehandedly convinced Beau Bridges to come to Kabul, then passed off the info to the Russians who passed it off to the Taliban who just happened to be waiting with an RPG.

Carrie is in deep shit and she knows it, but she is remarkably articulate and reminds everyone that she doesn’t fucking work for them and she can talk or engage with anyone she fucking pleases to, thankyouverymuch.

Vanessa: Not when you’re providing aid and comfort to the enemy. Carrie: If you’re talking about Yevgeny Gromov, it’s more like he provided aid and comfort to me. Sara: 😏 Carrie: Anyway, I want a lawyer. Vanessa: Fine, then you’re under arrest. Carrie: Peachy.

In the next room, Jenna is maximum confused. It’s almost like Carrie wanted to be arrested, which obviously begs the question of what she has planned when she gets back to America. Mike continues to possess a quarter of a brain cell and is all, weren’t you going to the border or something or other?

In Saul’s office, Linus gives him the lay of the land. Carrie has just invoked Saul in her defense, and he’s now on a fast track to the same amount of credibility that Carrie herself has: that is to say, zero. They bought some time with the release of that ops team but continuing to give Carrie cover is really bad optics. Saul reveals the whole deal with the flight recorder. Then he admits it’s pretty much all his fault. He was there when she was returned back from the Russians. She didn’t even recognize him. And he took her out of treatment when he knew she wasn’t ready, because there was a job to do and he asked nicely. He can’t turn his back on her now.

The episode closes with an incredibly-edited sequence. While Carrie is escorted out of Kabul station in handcuffs, Jenna arrives at the border where no one knows why she’s there or seems to give a shit.

Meanwhile, Balach approaches in the car and records a video for his wife, soon to be a widow. He’s going to die and he’s been preparing for that reality his whole life. He asks her to forgive him and to make sure that Jalal keeps his word about protecting them, lest he meet the fate of a vengeful God.

Carrie and Vanessa board an airplane headed back for Washington. Carrie struggles with her seatbelt before the zip ties around her wrists are removed. The bus with the special ops team pulls up to the border and the crew sits inside, waiting for the go-ahead. Balach readies the bomb. Carrie’s plane taxis, she exchanges looks with Vanessa. Everything gets very quiet. 

Then Balach starts driving.

He speeds toward the border as soldiers scatter. Someone grabs Jenna and she ducks behind another vehicle. The team in the bus stare out the window. “Move the fucking bus!” they yell. They are sitting ducks as Balach heads straight toward them. The soldiers on the ground fire rounds and rounds at Balach, missing each time. The driver of the bus hurries out, saves himself. Everyone stares as they prepare for the inevitable. Balach screams, moments away from oblivion. His crying sons flash through his mind. He’s doing this for them, remember? He’s giving himself up for them. Then: a crash, an explosion, a flash of white.

Carrie’s plane lifts off. There’s a look of resolve in her eyes as she stares out the window at this place. This place where she fled to escape her grief, so many years ago. This place where, more recently, she fled to escape her trauma. Now she’s leaving and never coming back. Is she a martyr, too? Has she given herself up, for her family, for Saul? Or is it the reverse? Is she about to give them up? She’s exploded her life, in her own way. I would rather you say I was dead. Darkness.

[at-the-exd-of-everythixg]

Ok uh DND HEADCANONS aka welcome to fantasy queer eye

Ava: A tiefling paladin. Bonar Fidea ("BONER?" "Shut the fuck up Sal.") Is sworn to her mission to protect the group of travellers she's met. Especially when faced with a particular half orc,,,ahem, Bonar is intent on doing good, not for the cost of gold, but to perhaps wipe her hands of bloodshed left over from a suffocating war that she refuses to talk about....just a shame that the rest of her party doesn't agree with the motives.

Mimi: Dwarf fighter named Viet Clearwater ("'Cause she drags her enemies through the fucking mud!"). Dwarf milf -

("wait," Lace squints and Mimi grins. "How is she a milf??" "WELL. You know that thing where a woman gets out of the fire and shakes her head? That's that." Everyone waits for a moment before nodding appreativatevly.)

- who worked in a blacksmiths for many years before meeting Sal's character and ending up joining his kid onto becoming fantasy bounty hunters for a few months before meeting the others. Viet's personal mission is to get a beach day yet each plot ends up derailing her from it each and every time.

Finn: Druid Elf called Roisen-Mae Maylar who worked in fantasy Greggs before Bonar robbed them and Roisen-Mae was the one who was sent after her due to him being "the new guy". Long story short, Roisen-Mae realised he was underpaid and joined Bonar in her avenging for justice, quickly realising that "justice" was conceived of breaking into places and killing people in order to free others. Roisen-Mae kinda wishes he could go back to Fantasy Greggs but...he likes the feeling of adventure in his blood, likes helping people in such a freeing manner.

Sal: Elvish Bard named Chester. Out here playing the top hits of "I want thy love" and "I was created for loving thee." With the backups of Wulf's character. Realised that he could get more cash and that there was...fuck, there was something magic about his voice that struck the monsters and mysterious assassins often sent after the party for some reason.

("Wait so you're some sort of siren?" Pascal had begun to laugh as Sal sqwuaked in indignation. "No! Its- its magic! Shut up you solar piece of shit!")

Sure, murder wasn't was Chester was expecting. But fuck if it ain't gonna be fun (skksks ngl I'm...half wondering if Sal would let his dnd character be in love like I am with him and me being ace sksk)

Mahogany: No character since they struggle with grasping the game but they usually have someone sitting on their lap while they watch everyone play and suggest actions. Sometimes they're allowed to be monsters but often Mahogany is just there to get some cuddles.

Pascal: Orc rogue named Solgrindr The Rugged. 100% he's here to get jacked and each mission allows him to gain One Ab. His guns are huge but his heart is even huge-er and Solgrindr speaks with a fiery passion to sell his training regime and to collect a million fantasy numbers. Since. U know. Solgrindr has earned these by now.

("So you're a Chad?" Mimi squints and Pascal lifts up a hand in offense before Sal interjects. "YEAH PASCAL YOU AN INCEL?" Pascal cried a minute later. He just wanted to be ripped, was that too much to ask?)

Solgrindr is but a man of his whims and what's a bigger whim than a fiery battle and an even hotter romance? ("His sole goal is to romance Chester." Pascal says, smiling viciously when Sal chokes from across the table.) Its just a shame he hasn't been able to live up to his full power yet...

Edith: A half-orc paladin called Yanag Broifstïgnäh who is...basically a carbon copy of Edith but no one's gonna exactly argue with a 6'something Norse angel who everyone excluding Wulf and Dae, are attracted to her. Yanag fights with the same ire and power anyone else would have done to protect her party entirely. She gets a magical axe that apparently washes her into an entirely new and powerful form only once every game.

(Finn frowns, tilting his head curiously. "You made Edith into a magical girl?"

Doe blinks and for a moment, Finn shudders when his own eyes meet his. "Yeah. Is that what that's called? Coolio.")

Yanag saves and romances a woman with every town they go to, but it raises questions when she seems to deny their affections, just as its suspicious how black tar-like veins seem to spread on her the more she uses this power.

Wulf: A human ranger called Bob Greenson. Your average, typical human man who just so happens to believe in fate and adventure! He shall charm everyone and fight the good battles!

("So." Ava squinted and Edith tried to not smile. "He's playing as himself...but a human man?" Her question seemed to get a rough snort out of Edith and a slight nudge of the shoulders. "Aye, but 'tis what makes the man happy I suppose.")

Of course, Bob is on a strict mission to product review as many weapons as he possibly can for his company, Weap'n'throw, while perhaps finding a few good spots to camp out for the ol' family? How's it goin' neighbour? Sure there are some sale issues, what with everyone wanting to murder Bob, but what sales pitch doesn't come with a bit of haggling, hm? With his mighty band of sales assistants, please speak to Chester on aisle three for magical trumpets!

Adonai: Dungeon Master! It's a relief to be themselves and to still be able to interact with the games and everyone else. Doe was worried at first that they would have been left out while everyone got to be something different. They would have joined, but the idea of yet again forming a whole new identity, trying to find the balance and shifts...it sounded exhausting. They couldn't handle it.

Ava patted them and told Doe that they didn't need to be someone. They could think up the scenarios and risks and Joys. It wasn't often that they got an opportunity to take over and simply have fun with risking Mimi's life or trying to create romantic scenarios between Edith and Ava. Doe takes great pleasure in being the DM and it isn't uncommon for them to modify their body for certain campaigns.

Lace: A half-elf wizard named Elvish Presley (Everyone groans. Mahogany weeps. Edith demotes her Valkyrie ways. Sal becomes a nun.) Elvish is interested in learning all sources of magic and why their world works. Is there anything connecting them all? A reason for them being here? Elvish is determined to find out, no matter what the cost...mostly of himself though.

Whether he admits that he wouldn't allow his team to get hurt or not, that is entirely Elvish's thoughts and feelings alone. Quick! Put that healing spell away! We can't let these people know that we feel and yearn! But little does Elvish Presley know, everyone is aware that he is a giant nerd with a giant heart that weeps when Bonar rescues him from the angry orgre who's wagon dealership they ruined in a quest.

Dae: A dragonborn ranger named Torpa Armani who dreams of becoming a famous writer-

("Th-that's bas-basically what y-you do anywh-anyway." Morde squints as Wulf grins while Dae flushes and shakes his head. It's a weak argument, to hear your clone try and deny the elaborate romance novels he writes about his friends.)

-But! Sometimes you just get whisked away onto wild and heart melting adventures. Its hard to ignore how good it deeps to help other people with their problems. It seems that Torpa may just be finding out that there's more to life than romance or tragedy books for them. Especially if they seem so insistent on carrying a weapon and being willing to put their trust and faith within other people once more after being outcasted for who and what they are.

Peach: A tiefling ranger named Puddles Skipclear. Puddles was once a water nymph, but had been cursed into a more physical form that didn't allow her to touch water. She is bound to dry lands until Puddles is able to break her curse. Unfortunately, Puddles doesn't even seem to know what curse bounds her and changes her for possibly forever.

(Morde is quiet for a moment, not meeting his clone's eyes guilt makes his eyes and body dim and slouch. Dae does the same towards Mordecai and everyone tries to ignore the guilt that isn't there's suddenly shifting around the room.)

She likes the people she has chosen to travel with. They're silly and their quests don't always work out, but they're honest in helping Puddles and she wants to trust in them when they say that they will help her remove her curse. They're all rather different from her water sisters that faded away and slipped out of Puddles' too physical fingers, but she's begun to have high hopes about what this mission could mean for her along the way.

Mordecai: Orc rogue named Vecivus Brogun, who is a well renewed theft despite his size. Parties could only dream of having him upon their sides. It's easy to steal things from countless people, but it's harder to steal the secrets. Especially when such a strange party seems to hold so many of these secrets. Some of them have simple ideas and wants, but others?

Oh, there's mystery to them and contrary to what others believe about orcs, Vec is far more easily aware and shifty than most. If only the others would realise these and help him out with a few gigs...after all, is it so bad to steal from a dragon if said dragon had so many riches that he would have hardly noticed if a few went missing?

[reimenaashelyee]

May I ask what outline method you used? Seeing how other people do it helps motivate me

(This is going to explain how I outline my graphic novels, which generally veer towards big themes and for older audiences)

I’ve my own method. I’ve called it The Onion Method. It uses two different, but complementary, approaches to producing a story outline:

1) I’m a Character-Based Plotter. I love character-based narratives. I love emotional arcs that get you in the feels. So I make character a guiding force in the story. Most of the time the first image I ever see in my head of a brand new story idea is a character. The second thing, if it isn’t another character, is the premise. Put two together, and you get a question.

With The Carpet Merchant, for example, it’s “Who is this nerd and how does he deal with his life turning upside down after getting attacked by a vampire?”

So I spend a lot of time understanding who Zeynel is; his relationships, his personality, his interests, (and more and more), and the circumstances that led him to become the protagonist of my story. This creates an emotional investment in Zeynel inside my heart (my sweet nerd son…), which makes it easier to convince the reader to like him too.

Then…BAM! He is placed into that situation.

Given what I’ve known about him, how will he handle that situation? That’s the story. I outline everything. I let him speak.

(the reason why this is a plotter, and not a pantser situation, is because I super plan everything inside my head first. I don’t discover the character as I outline. I discover them first before outline. That, and the second part of this Onion)

2) I’m a Big Giant Nerd. I love literary analysis. I love stories that I can peel apart to reveal threads and threads of themes, ideas, topics, messages. It’s admittedly very cerebral. But that’s the fuel that gives me life. The match that burns is what I call, the thesis.

The thesis can be a statement, a question, a particular topic you wish to explore, etc. In other words, it’s the expanded version of theme. What do you want to say? What do you want to explore? What is your goal for this book?

The thesis is the guiding force for all the external elements of the story; its voice, its structure, its shape. But it’s not removed from the character. The thesis exists to push the character, and the character exists to answer the thesis. Most importantly, the thesis helps you to know the possible beginnings and endings of the story.

Together, (1) and (2) create an Onion Story. Essentially, a character-based story that when cut open, reveals layers upon layers of character motivation and themes, ideas, topics messages interacting with each other.

It’s similar to the Snowflake Method. If only by principle. Snowflake doesn’t have the same process as Onion, at least for me haha. And it doesn’t have the Thesis component to bounce off with. Anyway.

In practice, this is what it looks like for the Alexander Comic.

Character-based: This GN is about Alexander the Great and his quest for immortality by finding the Water of Life.Thesis: This GN will explore the legacy of both the historical Alexander and the legendary Alexander, using both historical biography and legendary folklore (the Alexander Romance) to critique power.Character-based: Ok. So history shows that Alexander is a terrible, earthbound conquerer who used his power to obtain lands and riches for glory, which the legends constantly critique him for. What does the Water of Life mean to him then?Thesis: The Water of Life symbolises another object in his thirst for eternal glory. It is Eternal Glory itself. Character-based: Coolio. Both history and legend also show that he has a fear of dying.  The reason why he wants to be immortal is because he’s afraid of losing his earthly posessions.Thesis: Yep!Character-based: Okay…so what happens if he must give up the very things that he created harm to obtain, in order to get to the Water? What if he learns the harm he caused? What if he learns to be okay with losing everything? How will the Water change meaning to him then? …Will he still want it anymore?Me: OMG there it is.

There are a lot more tangents and threads (and spoilers) to this conversation, but it is a condensed form of the 5 months I spent mulling it over in my head, in addition to research. Once I got to the OMG THERE IT IS phase, the thesis runs to provide fuel for the character-based plotting.

The con to this Onion Method is that it takes SO MUCH TIME just doing nothing except thinking and thinking and thinking (and reading). Everything brews slowly inside the brain soup pot. But when things begin to CLICK, when the sun hits just right, it’s like, DANG I AM HYPE.

haha that’s my Onion Method! I hope it helps.

[clovis-enthusiast]

Little thought about The Tyrant’s Tomb. [SPOILERS!!!!]

oKAY, so I’m gonna start off by saying that, as usual, Rick Riordan’s writing style never fails to impress and draw me in to keep reading and not stop until I’ve devoured every last word. I was DESPERATE to read this book because it took me longer to get it than usual, and I was trying to go into it spoiler free (aside from reading the snippets that Uncle Rick posted on his Twitter every now and then.) I pretty much managed to do so, and it made the experience that much more emotional for me. I went into The Burning Maze KNOWING that Jason was going to die, but I had absolutely no idea what I’d be facing in this book.

Camp Jupiter

I’m just gonna flat out say it; I was never really all that interested in Camp Jupiter in the beginning. I didn’t like the majority of the characters (aside from Dakota who is my legal son) and the camp structure (though accurate to the Romans) seemed too strict and harsh to me. The ranking systems confused me, and it all in all just did not appeal to me the way Camp Half-Blood does. However, the more I read, the more attached I grew, and although I still MUCH prefer Camp Half-Blood and would choose it in a heartbeat when choosing between the two camps, it still became an interesting place to read about. I ADORE the idea of New Rome and the sharp contrast of silly demigods like the fifth cohort vs. the strict rules and upbringing of the camp.

When Jason died in The Burning Maze and the next book was set to take place surrounding Camp Jupiter, I grew excited. I REALLY wanted to meet more of the demigods of the Roman camp and explore them more (mostly Dakota but I digress.) Although I knew reading about everyone’s reactions to Jason’s death would be hard, I fought through it and was somewhat surprised by the lack of grieving that was presented. I mean, the ENTIRE first few chapters were ALL about Jason’s coffin and Lester and Meg grieving and trying their best to get it to camp but when it actually got there there really wasn’t that much of an uproar. At first I thought that was strange but looking back at it the Romans are brought up to be strong and not let emotions take over them, and people like Hazel have to show absolute strength. Besides the camp was already in mourning over DOZENS of other campers at the time.

That was another thing that sort of bugged me. I was absolutely ITCHING to meet some new characters and granted I got a few, but the majority of the ‘newer’ characters had already been killed and served only as the undead army.

THAT WAS SO FUCKED UP. It was one thing that I think Rick did a really good job with in upping the deep and darkness of the Riordanverse series. Can you imagine fighting your undead comrades and friends?? Like holy shit, that was emotional. I was super worried I spoiled something for myself on Istagram bc I read a post someone made about Jason trying to get the undead Romans to follow him instead or direct them away from camp, but I should have known it wasn’t true since he was literally burned.

Frank

Speaking of burning, I ACTUALLY thought Rick killed Frank off. Up until this book, I hadn’t really realized how much I loved this man. His character is just so well-written and likable and when he sacrificed the wood, I was like NOOOOOOOOO. I was SO grateful he came back in the end because I was sure Rick would never hear the end of THAT one if he allowed it to really happen. On the bright side, my baby boy can now enjoy his life with a little bit more vigor and less fear now that the stick is gone for good.

New Characters

Lavinia Asimov: Okay, Lavinia is a REALLLLLLLY weird character to me. She reminds me a lot of Lou Ellen to be honest, but for some reason, she doesn’t appeal to me as much as Lou Ellen does. (Maybe it’s just because I tend to prefer minor characters) Her rebelliousness seemed a little too... forced at times?? And her whole thing with the dryads and fauns was kinda weird too, but I guess since she likes Poison Ivy, it makes sense. However, she kinda did grow on me, I suppose, and I wouldn’t mind seeing more of her.

Poison Ivy: I REALLY wished we could have met her even just once. Lavinia would not shut up about her and was CONSTANTLY rebelling against the rules in camp just to see her, so I wanna know just what kind of a character she is. I’m sure she would have been very interesting and sassy to have been Lavinia’s love interest lol

Pranjal: He’s a good boy!!! Not quite sure how to pronounce his name properly, but his appearance is adorable and I LOVE the fact that he’s a son of Aesculapius because he’s one of my favorite gods soooo... I really wish we could have seen more of him!! He’s kinda like Clovis in the way that he has like one important part, gets mentioned like two times afterwards and then never again :^/

Aristophanes: he’s a cat,,, i love him,,, 

Harpocrates: This was SO interesting and out of the blue to me having gone in spoiler free!! He’s earned a new spot up in my favorite gods list because of how interesting and mysterious he is. His concept was great and although i was sad to see him sacrificed, I hope that he and Sibyl are together wherever they are bc that was damn cute and made me so emotional afgkjldg why did Apollo have to be such a dick as a god,,,

New names with little to no info: Carl (Roman demigod,) Reza (Roman demigod,) Reginald (faun,) Felipe (faun,) Harold (faun,) Lotoya (dryad,) Buster (unicorn,) Muffin (unicorn,) Whagadoodle (unicorn,) Shirley (unicorn,) Horatio (unicorn,) One Eye (pegasus,) Small Ears (pegasus,) Boost (pandai,) Ida (Roman demigod,) Caelius (Roman demigod,) Thomas (Roman demigod,) Colum (Roman demigod,) and Terrel (Roman demigod)

Lester/Apollo

MY BOY HAS GROWN!!! He’s so human now, and I’m so proud. He doesn’t even second guess sacrificing himself or humiliating himself to save his friends. I just... I have a lot of feelings over his character development. Rick handles him SO well, and I just,,, I love him,,, i am,,, in love with him,, i would date lester papadopoulos

Meg

She’s grown to be such a doll!! I was SUPER annoyed by her in the first books, but now she’s my daughter. I love that she’s actually expressing emotions other than ‘annoying 12 year old’ now. Like I wanna protect her.

Reyna

She was a pretty good character in this book and her leaving the camp was a HUGE surprise to me. I kinda wish she was still praetor because idk Hazel just doesn’t rlly seem as fit for it as Reyna was, and I like Reyna a lot, but idk i guess it’s coolio. I was also glad Rick cleared up all the romance discourse about her too though the way he did it was kinda weird (she literally was using the word ‘ship’ out loud like wh-- and i don’t remember the venus thing at all so maybe i missed it from a different book? idk it came out of nowhere to me)

Ella and Tyson

I actually like Ella a lot now!! I used to find her quite annoying, and her relationship with Tyson felt forced, but now that I had the time to get used to her and figure out her character a little more, I do like her. She sort of treats Tyson weird, but I think towards the end, I fell for their relationship more. Tyson was literally excellent, show-stopping, breath-taking, amazing,,, like YESSS KING I LOVE YOU AND YOU PEANUT BUTTER-SMELLING SELF (that one scene where he just started dancing and apollo didn’t know if it was for the ritual or just bc he felt like it killed me)

Character Deaths

Dakota: I AM NEVER GOING TO GET OVER THIS ONE FOLKS. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MANY TIMES I HAD TO REREAD THE SAME SENTENCE TO MAKE SURE THAT I WASN’T HAVING A NIGHTMARE. I PHYSICALLY CANNOT BELIEVE THAT RICK KILLED HIM OFF. I’M STILL EMOTIONAL OVER IT, AND JUST AJSDHF;AMNJ ‘;  NOOOOOOOOOOO THIS IS THE SECOND SIBLING POLLUX HAS LOST IM GOING TO  S C R E A M  HE WAS ONE OF MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS AND HE DESERVED BETTER DAMN IT I’M LITERALLY IN SHOCK LITERALLY DO NOT TALK TO ME LIKE I’M STILL IN SHOCK FROM CREST’S DEATH IN THE LAST BOOK TBH AND NOW THIS??? NOW I’M SCARED CLOVIS IS GONNA DIE JSDKLFKS the only thing that gives me comfort is that Jason can be with his friend in Elysium now fuckkkk,,, rick why did you do this to me,,, I LITERALLY CANNOT EXPRESS HOW UPSET I AM I WILL  N E V E R  HEAL

Don: Don was sort of a comic relief character in SoN, and it was very sad to see him go. He reminded me a lot of Grover, and his death scene with Lavinia ACTUALLY made me tear up. THIS BOOK MADE ME SO EMOTIONAL GOD DAKOTA AND DON WERE LITERAL BABIES RICK GIVE THEM BACK

Bobby: listen,,, we never even met this kid rlly and i was still super sad when lavinia had to kill him again and hannibal is without him and just ughhh whyyy

Julia’s mother, father, AND foster parents: HOLY SHIT RICK WASN’T THAT KIND OF OVERKILL??? I felt so bad for the poor girl, especially cause she’s like six??? But it’s very sweet that Terminus adopted her. I really liked that.

Jacob: AAHHHAHA this one made me sad too!!!! he was such a minor character, but he reminded me of Damien White and Ethan Nakamura (if he were allowed to actually be a kid,) so I think that’s why I was sort of partial to him. The way he died was SUPER horrid too, so I just,,, im big sad for him (on a good hand, he went down F I G H T I N G)

Mentions of anything relating to Hypnos or his children

Yes, i am keeping track, sue me. Somnus was mentioned one time in this book as one of the gods Apollo briefly considered summoning to his aid, and it is presumed he has some sort of tribute at Camp Jupiter had he not before. You’ll make another appearance someday Clovis, I know it :’^D 

Final Thoughts

I literally CANNOT wait for the next book (which I presume is the last one.) From what it seems, we’re returning to New York, so Camp Half-Blood will be present. I can’t wait to see my babes again, and I’m REALLY hoping more minor characters will be allowed to shine (cough clovis cough) but like i KNOW some will die and just,,, im sad,,, dakota’s death has wrecked me,,, but on the side note, the new book is coming out in my last year of school!!! i’m so excited because this series holds emotional value to me like i’ve literally gone through my high school career with trials of apollo like it was with me the whole time and it’s one of the only things that keeps me going. i just,,, i have no words to express how much this series and all the others mean to me...

thank you so much for keeping me going, uncle rick. i can’t wait to see how this all ends :^) <3 

[johannesviii]

Top 10 Personal Favorite Hit Songs from 1995

There’s way more filler on this list, which is a relief because 1994 had almost enough material for a top 20.

Disclaimers:

Keep in mind I’m using both the year-end top 100 lists from the US and from France while making these top 10 things. There’s songs in English that charted in my country way higher than they did in their home countries, or even earlier or later, so that might get surprising at times.

Of course there will be stuff in French. We suck. I know. It’s my list. Deal with it.

My musical tastes have always been terrible and I’m not a critic, just a listener and an idiot.

I have sound to color synesthesia which justifies nothing but might explain why I have trouble describing some songs in other terms than visual ones.

This is a strange list because I adore the first four songs but everything before them is mostly filler. No honorable mentions this time.

10 - Wonderwall (Oasis)

US: Not on the list / FR: #96

My brother was only 2 in 1995. Ten years later, he discovered Oasis and played the album Definitely Maybe on a loop in his room for days.

This is on the list just because of him.

9 - You Don’t Know How It Feels (Tom Petty)

US: #61 / FR: Not on the list

Aaaaaaaaand this is on the list just because of my father, the major Tom Petty fan. Moving on.

8 - Be My Lover (La Bouche)

US: Not on the list / FR: #28

Perfectly standard good eurodance despite a mediocre rap bridge. Again, I don’t have anything to say about it.

Ok. Maybe I can admit this was brought back to my attention after all these years by this video which is a pretty accurate representation of my last three braincells.

7 - La Corrida (Francis Cabrel)

US: Not on the list / FR: #66

Surprise. This charted two years in a row and it was a honorable mention last time, and since I needed some stuff to fill the 1995 list this will do in a pinch.

So yeah, it’s a song about  bull fighting sung from the perspective of the bull. Here’s a translation. It’s great. You’re welcome.

6 - Tombé Pour Elle (Pascal Obispo)

US: Not on the list / FR: #71

This is the only Obispo song I ever liked, mostly because his voice does some weird shit on this song, and also because it’s very catchy. And it also was on one of these hit compilation things I had back then and I would never skip it.

The funniest part is that it sounds exactly like a love song, except the guy is, in fact, singing about his love for a random island. And that’s kind of hilarious. Check it out if you’ve never heard it.

5 - L’Instant X (Mylène Farmer)

US: Not on the list / FR: #44

The Anamorphosée album is my least favorite Mylène Farmer album from that decade. Yet this song is #5 on this list. But we’re not yet in the “very good” part of this top 10, so eh. Fair enough.

To be honest, it’s refreshing to hear a song with fun lines from her after her Ultimate Goth Phase Of 91-92(tm), even if the lyrics are still about her wanting “fun, antidepressants and wings” for Christmas. But I’m a sucker for sinister stuff packaged in funny lines, so... yeah. The guitar doesn’t hurt either.

I tend to hum this from time to time around Christmas, too. I’m sorry.

4 - Zombie (The Cranberries)

US: Not on the list / FR: #3

I started to actually own cds when I was around 9 (1997), a few years before I actually owned a cd player. Most of them were hit compilations and ambiant stuff. Only three of them weren’t.

I’m not gonna pretend Zombie wasn’t scaring the shit out of me as a kid, especially because I couldn’t understand a single word of the lyrics. But it sounded so intense, and dark, and epic, I couldn’t help but be fascinated by it, even if the mental image I had of the chorus was close to a banshee screaming about my own death somewhere in the highlands.

3 - Scatman (ski-ba-bop-ba-dop-bop) (Scatman John)

US: Not on the list / FR: #2

You have every right in the world to not enjoy this novelty dance track. I understand. It’s okay. Everyone has their own opinions and taste. I can get behind that.

However, anyone who doesn’t like Scatman John himself, as a person, I mean, is free to come fight me in the pit, where I’ll be waiting with that tambourine I've been holding threateningly ever since my 1992 list has been posted.

Also, this was one of the favorite songs of one of my cousins, who died way, way too young several years ago, and every time I listen to this, I remember us listening to this song on his father’s cd player in my grandparents’ tiny garden, laughing like idiots, trying to sing as fast as Scatman John and failing. Good times. I miss you dude.

2 - Gangsta’s Paradise (Coolio)

US: #1 / FR: #7

I really, really debated if this one should top the list, I swear. I adore Gangsta’s Paradise, like a ton of people did at the time and still do. I had no idea what the lyrics were saying at the time - I only knew this was about a gangster, because that was in the title, and that his life clearly made him unhappy, because the song sounded dark and had menacing voices chanting over the chorus.

Deciphering the lyrics years later and trying to translate them only cemented my opinion that this was a very important and fantastic song that deserved every kudo it ever got.

Also it was the first track of the first hit compilation I ever owned, so you can bet I listened to it quite often, on top of hearing it constantly on the radio.

1 - Missing (Everything But The Girl)

US: Not on the list (...yet. #12 the next year) / FR: #41

This is one of the best songs I’ve ever heard in my life and I’m not saying that lightly. And I’ve been thinking that for, uh...

...quite some time, actually.

It’s sad (devastating, even. Holy shit.) and full of melancholy but weirdly tense and dark, and that dance remix makes it sound even colder and more distant. And yes, if you’ve noticed, it was also on that hit compilation cd I’ve posted earlier, and since that was one of the only cds I owned around 1998, I listened to this a lot. Weirdly enough, at the time, I was convinced that the person singing this song was a guy, and I’m not sure why.

Also, “and I miss you like the deserts miss the rain” was simple enough I could understand it very quickly after I started to learn English, and that sounded so profound and devastating to me at the time, you don’t even know.

Bonus: here it is on the list of my favorite songs I made back in February 2006, right next to Erasure (which made the previous list), Depeche Mode, and some other acts that will appear on future lists, because the years may have passed but my favorite songs kinda stay the same.

Next up: a list which is all over the place but has, in fact, no eurodance on it

[thetypedwriter]

The Queen of Nothing Book Review

Queen of Nothing Book Review By Holly Black

    God, my thoughts on this trilogy are a true maelstrom. I hated the first book for a variety of what I still think are very viable reasons, but I was nonetheless indubitably intrigued. Meanwhile I found the second book to be the utter highlight of characterization, scheming, and toxicity, and then the third book I went back to hating. 

Quite the journey, right? I certainly do feel like I’ve been duped with poison or stabbed by Madoc himself along this journey from Jude being an inconsequential little mortal to ruling them all. The last few books I’ve read (aka The Toll by Neal Shusterman) have been very long and detailed and descriptive and thought-provoking. 

Queen of Nothing was none of those things. 

I was so incredibly excited for this book, excited to see how Jude would handle her exile, how long being banished from Faerie would last, her resolution with Cardan, the battling with Madoc and the Court of Teeth-all of it was so sumptuous and deep and complex and I was ready. 

    Instead of delivering on this beautiful concoction of plot and characters, what Holly Black produced instead came across like a first draft edition of what should have been a measly outline of her book instead of the actual book.

 In other words, the book was short and shallow. Half of the moments we don’t even get to see (*cough cough Locke being murdered by Taryn-which by the way seems incredibly out-of-character), Cardan going to the human world and a slew of others. It was like Holly Black got tired of writing about Jude and was like, “Eh, let’s end this as quickly as possible so I can move on to other things.”

    That was essentially the tone of the whole book to me. Things didn’t make sense, the plot was all over the place, motivations for characters were skewed, other characters were shafted or you just had no idea who Black was even talking about, the action was short and pointless, the dialogue was tacky, and there were several parts where Jude as a narrator just came across as an emotionless robot as things would happen and we would get absolutely no insight into how she was feeling or why. 

    Now. I think Jude has grown a lot as a character since book one. If you read my first review on The Cruel Prince I outline why Jude is a terrible immoral character and how she lacks all redeeming qualities that make even antiheroes desirable to read about. 

Then, in The Wicked King, she gained some traction. I felt like the ice in her heart was melting, that she was coming alive with spring and mercy and love and then. Well. We get this book, Queen of Nothing, where I feel like Jude has completely reverted to her past self, that she had gained nothing, if you will. 

    Jude is not a good person. I feel like in the first installment she doesn’t even try to hide it while in the second installment she’s generally trying to be better. In this one, she either stagnates or reverts.

When it comes to enslaving the man she loves and putting herself into eternal power and control, Jude legitimately considers this the correct form of victory for a good portion of the book despite her so-called love for the lovely Cardan. I just can’t back a character that I can’t find even a shred of humanity and dignity in. 

    In addition, this book, in a lot of ways, makes the first two books meaningless. Many of the big relationships, plot points, and intricacies are just tossed out the window in this novel, like Holly Black was trying a slew of New Year’s Resolutions and failing at all of them. The fact that Cardan betrayed Jude without her knowledge and exiled her to the mortal world is treated like this: 

  �� “Hey, Jude. I didn’t mean it. I love you.”

    “Cool. Thanks, Cardan. I love you too.”

I’m not even kidding. That’s essentially how it was summed up in the novel. And the whole things with Lady Asha, and oh! The Ghost actually didn’t betray you, it was all Madoc’s fault hahah, and oh! Taryn is good again lol. And oh! Madoc is just banished to the mortal world where he can live a happy life, coolio. And oh! Fairies hate humans, but they’ll totally accept one as queen, that’s fine, that’s chill, that makes sense. 

    In essence, everything that Holly Black built up, for her characters, her world, her plot, was just completely dismantled and disregarded. The whole book came across as lazy and unrefined and uninteresting to me, which is a shame after the second book and all the positives that came with it. 

    Honestly, the most well-thought out and descriptive parts of this entire novel were the food and what the characters were wearing. I never knew what was going on or how Jude emotionally and psychologically was doing, but I always knew what food was on the table and what everyone was wearing, which obviously are very, very important details. 

This actually reminds me of the infamous horrid fanfiction My Immortal, which if you don’t know, is an absolute terror of a Harry Potter fanfiction notorious for its abhorrent writing and nonsensical plot, but with very clear details about what the main emo character is wearing at all times. 

    Queen of Nothing is the My Immortal of the YA world. And with that statement, I will conclude the review here. 

Score: 4/10

Recommendation: Take the title to heart. This book takes everything good about the first two and compacts it into a pile of nothing. Nothing that has happened matters, nothing that people say or do matters, and nothing but Jude’s wardrobe is given any kind of thought or consideration.