#it’s just funny what presentation and marketing does

[micer2012]

a reflection on MatPat's plagiarism

Hello, my name is Della, or micer2012, and 2 years ago Game Theory plagiarized three Tumblr posts of mine, making a video that now holds almost 6 million views.

My posts explaining his plagiarism made their rounds on Reddit, Tumblr and Twitter, but despite the Hermits and Pooka commenting on it (generally in support of me or saying they don’t know enough details about the situation to say either way), MatPat and his team have never owned up to anything, and no mention of my name is present on the video. The one Reddit post they made denying it (which was made before my detailed takedown, which they have never responded to (though the mods on the r/GameTheorists Reddit were kind and made sure it stayed up)) didn’t even mention me by name, just referring to me as “a tumblr user”. (Though one of the screenshotted comments in the body of the post does say my name)

This experience was baffling, but it’s overall had a positive impact on my life. r/Hermitcraft gave me a Golden Apple Award (post of the year, 2021). My inbox was filled with excited fans, wanting to ask me questions or pose their own theories, far more than the hate I got. (Though the hate I got from Game Theory fans was VERY funny. I wondered why none of them gave me shit about saying “MatPat misgendered Evil Xisuma” before realizing none of them read that far into the post.)

And getting on a more personal, and much more important note, I met most of my current online friends through this, including my partner. It helped me grow closer with my irl friends as well and gave me an entertaining story that I tell whenever I have the chance. It was one of the first things in my life that really made me feel like my talents, my autistic hyperfocusing and analyzing of things I love, could be valuable. Useful. Exploitable. It blew my mind that MatPat thought an autistic kid’s ramblings about a Minecraft Youtube joke character were good enough to steal. To put an audible sponsorship on. To get 6 million views off of.

And that’s why I’m writing this post, this update years later. As you might’ve been able to guess, Hbomberguy’s Youtube video on plagiarism reopened this wound. It was really hard for me to sit through, it took days of pausing and taking breaks, because I had experienced everything he was talking about firsthand. 

In my 10 page long takedown post, I wrote about how his rewording of my sentences made him say things that were incorrect, just like Filip did. The content farm production style that made big companies like Cinemassacre take one creator (AVGN/MatPat) and turn him and his content into a brand, a voice that reads out scripts by other people with other opinions/theories, is a history shared with Game Theory. What really hit me was Harris talking about how big creators only do this to people they think they can get away with doing it to. How they view their victims as lesser, as not deserving of their words, repackaging them as their own to give to an audience that can gain from hearing them, but deserves better than to have to listen to the original victim.

That’s the thing, I 100% think a video version of my theory to expose to a bigger community than “Evil Xisuma Fans on Tumblr” is a great idea!! Near the end of the video Harris talks about how video adaptations of things could be a great market, even an accessibility tool, and I completely feel that about my posts. I wrote them quickly assuming the reader was someone well versed on Evil Xisuma lore, after not even watching most of the CarnEvil series, and the diagrams I made to explain them are even less comprehensible. Harris makes a joke that I completely agree with, 

“I’m sure some of my videos would do very well if someone translated them into English.”

I don’t think I would’ve ever made my posts if I didn’t have autism, and a special fixation on Evil Xisuma and Hermitcraft. I made them because I felt the character was being done an injustice, and because I wanted to share with other superfans this theory that might explain it away. I do think that MatPat plagiarizing me was ableist. I used to wonder a lot if this would’ve happened if my posts were articulated better, if they had been peer reviewed, if the posts themselves had been spread to a wider audience before MatPat made his video. At one point when the discourse was fresh (before I had the time to write out my 10 page rebuttal), a bigger YouTuber (100k subs at the time) messaged me and started talking on Discord, interested in possibly making a video on the discourse, but I think my style of typing and general enthusiasm drove him away. You can tell by a single look at my blog (or my original 3 posts!) that I don’t usually type like this. This post you’re reading now has been peer reviewed and edited, and took me hours to format correctly. That video could’ve been huge, the entire outcome of this MatPat situation would probably be much different.

I also used to stress a lot about “being the one who ruined Evil Xisuma’s story”. If you didn’t know, to me S8 Evil Xisuma’s story got wrapped up pretty quickly and unsatisfying (in my personal autistic opinion). (though this might’ve been due to s8 being experimental and ending early with moon big) There was no real culmination of the plot points and arcs going on, and I don’t want to blame myself, but when Xisuma said on stream (when the MatPat thing was first going on) that he didn’t want to focus on the discourse or draw more attention to it, it makes a lot of sense to me that he just wanted to wrap it all up as quickly as possible. For a while I beat myself up about it, of ruining the story of this character I love, but it’s not my fault. If anyone’s, it’s MatPats, but I don’t think it’s useful to just blame someone else. That’s how the story ended up going, and that’s fine. This is Evil Xisuma we’re talking about, their inconsistent lore is what made them such an interesting character. And notably, Pooka made an animation with an awesome culmination of Jeff, the Dreamer, Evil Xisuma, and his own sona’s story, and it makes me so happy to watch. Whatever Pooka does is of course his own choice, but I’m glad he got to give this personal story his own ending (if it is an ending, and not just the start of a new chapter!). 

Typing this all out and getting it off my chest has made me feel a lot better. For a while I wanted to make my OWN video essay about Evil Xisuma’s lore and CarnEvil’s lore, actually going episode by episode to explain it instead of just assuming you knew as much about Evil Xisuma as I did. That idea is still not off the table, but MCYT isn’t something I’m that into right now. Maybe if something else comes out about Evil Xisuma I’ll get back on it, but for now I’m fine with letting that go. But I want to make other videos, share other theories and analysis… if I have the freetime I’d love to make YouTube videos, and if I don’t have the time I’ll continue posting to my tumblr and infodumping to my friends. Apparently my infodumping is valuable enough “content” to steal! Writing this out has made me feel a lot better though, I’m really glad I got it out.

If anyone ever wants to talk to me about the things I’m obsessed with, or reach out to me as a source in a bigger discussion about Game Theory or other channels, my inbox is more than welcome :] Thank you for reading! 

Sincerely, a tumblr user.

[iheartlargepatheticmen]

Husband Price is sad. The military fucked him over. No comfort, just angst. Sorry gang

----------------

You don't tie your shoelaces right.

The knots are crooked. One shoe is laced up a little wonkily. Not that you notice.

Price noticed, but he's not going to tell you. He can't stop looking, though. He's trying not to let it get to him, but it's one of his bad days.

He joined the military as a directionless seventeen year old. There was no real weight to the decision when he enlisted. He was just sick of filling out job applications.

And that's when his life started. That's what he always said. Johnathan Price's life started on the first day of basic training. In the past, he said it with a tone of pride

Now, it settles in the back of his mind. A sickening pit weighing behind his eyes.

Lacking a sense of self upon retirement was normal. He was in therapy for that. He was working on a renovation project in your home, a suggestion from his therapist to give him something to do with his hands. But as soon as work finished for the day, John felt hollow again.

His therapist said he was healing. But that didn't make sense to John. the effects of his service were the metaphorical wound, but wounds were isolated. A specific area that has been damaged in a specific way. But that's not what it felt like.

The effects of his job were ingrained into every part of his body. Ground into every pore, every string of connective tissue in his body. There was nothing about him, body or mind that wasn't connected to it.

Like the shoelaces.

A normal husband wouldn't even notice how his spouse ties their shoes.

A normal husband's mind doesn't jump to yearly presentations about mangled feet and ankles, to the list of complications that could spring from improperly laced boots.

A normal husband doesn't instinctually open his mouth to bark an order to tie them right.

A normal husband doesn't have to catch himself and hurriedly clamp his mouth shut before he does.

You and price were going out. A Saturday morning farmer's market. Something to get you out of the house together. He felt a wave of guilt.

This was going to be a sweet moment. He was supposed to enjoy it. To be present, with you. But his mind was elsewhere, consumed.

He marches. No. Walks alongside you, gets in the car, starts it, and drives on autopilot. His mind elsewhere.

God. The military affected him even now. The ability to march along, drive, and even make small talk whilst his mind was wrapped six layers deep. Unawares of his real surroundings was a hard earned skill. What did his therapist call it?

Disassociation. Right. Lots of soldiers do it.

You're talking. He's forcing himself to listen. He hums and responds to your small talk. Something about planting pepper bushes. Sure, love. He'll get on that.

You laugh, the unexpected reaction pulls him out of his mind. He glances over at you, confused, before fixing his eyes back on the road.

"What's so funny?"

You giggle, and he could feel your gaze on him

"You have this silly way of talking. You start a sentence practically shouting and quiet down to a normal volume as you talk. It's just a little funny."

Price furrowed his brow. His mind turned inside out again.

He was aware of that. Nobody had ever commented, though. Not even his nitpicky therapist.

He naturally spoke loudly. yet another example of his old job snaking into every part of his life.

For most of his life, he had to shout, loud and clear, to be heard. Whether it be to be heard over the roar of helicopter blades, to come through clearly through radio, or to be heard by his coworkers, whose hearing had degraded over years in the field.

But it's been two years since he's been in the field. He's been living in a quiet neighborhood. The loudest thing he encounters on a daily basis is a barking dog down the street. There's nothing to dampen his speaking voice now.

"John?"

His eyes snap up. He hadn't responded. Whoops.

"Sorry, love. 'Didn't notice I do that. I'll quiet down."

You say something else, maybe telling him it's okay. Maybe telling him you think it's cute. But he's consumed again.

John feels selfish.

He takes a smooth, controlled turn, forcing his face to relax. The GPS says ten minutes until he reaches the farmers market.

It's selfish of him to stay married to you. John didn't know how to be a man. Let alone a husband. He didn't know how to have a friend. Let alone a lover.

If he catches you doing something risky, the protective fear that shoots through him makes it impossible to dampen the urge to shout. He hates that. He hates that his first reaction to anxiety, to fear for your safety, is to bark an order at you. Like a soldier.

He coveted you softness. Your lack of involvement in the military. He hated that he couldn't be soft, too. He wanted to chastise you softly for accidentally pointing his nailgun at your feet. He wanted to laugh and coo at you to get down when he caught you climbing on an old chair to reach a shelf in the laundry room.

But he reacted to every shred of danger like your life was on the line. Like the lit candle dangerously close to your sleeve was going to put your name on a casualty report.

He can never meet your scared gaze after those moments, his voice still ringing in the air. He always takes the cowards way out and turns to walk away instead.

He pops open the center console and pulls out a tissue, handing it to you before he even registered you had sneezed. A moment of warmth graces his cheeks at the sound of you thanking him.

The GPS says five minutes. He tells you you're arriving soon. He placidly tells you to remind him to look for seeds for the pepper bushes you wanted. Already building a shopping list for the materials to build raised garden boxes to put them in.

That pacifies his guilt slightly. He loves you. He loves you like he's starving. He wants what's best for you. And he's terrified that what's best for you, isn't him. He banishes that thought by doing everything he can for you.

Like a barn cat, he dropped offerings at your feet in hopes you'll understand his ornery way of loving you.

Out of the car. Kiss on the cheek. Into the crowd. He never stopped being a soldier.

Those candles are expensive, you're so right.

He doesn't feel human.

Pepper shoots instead of seeds. He'll keep an eye out.

Is he human? He's lived a life so far removed from how humans are meant to act.

That lady was shoving people. Good job keeping your cool darling.

No. He is unrecognizable to his own species.

He kisses you on the cheekbone. He wonders if you know your husband isnt truly human.

You go home. He makes an excuse about a project that needs work before it gets dark.

John feels like a coward.

[kittykattropicanna]

would you please be able to go into more detail about your prison penpal!simon? why is reader doing it, how did they choose simon (if they had a choice at all), the sorts of letters they exchange? and if they’re any sort of smutty bits for them too? your mechanic au has me absolutely feral beyond words so seeing this made me so excited.

Omg you’re my first asked AHHHHHH I want to scream thank you so much!!!!! 

Absolutely I can go into detail about PrisonPenPal!Simon :3  I can't get out of my mind how deprived he is argh!!! >:( all this time alone, and now that you're here writing him pretty little letters, he can't imagine life without you :3

TW: mentions of murder, jail, corruption kink, breading kink, masterbation (Reader & Simon), public masterbation (kinda), smut, not sub!simon but he does cum in his pants, ahhh you're both just so obsessed with each other :3

PrisonPenPal!Simon masterlist

Regular masterlist

I’ll give you a little back story to why Si actually ended up in jail…

I feel like he retied, left SAS and tried to integrate back into civilian life but failed miserably. He started going out to bars and drinking pretty heavily. The alcohol made him angry, he never was outwardly violent, but everyone could tell he was just a very dark, tortured guy that sat in the back of the bar every night and drank himself stupid. It was like an unwritten rule that nobody bothered him. His a massive guy who’s ex military, if you had half a brain you would leave him alone. 

One night he was leaving the pub and this stupid, stupid 18 year old kid thought it would be funny to try square up to him and impress his friends. 

It didn’t matter how many times they told him to quit it and leave Simon alone, he still trudged up to him with his head held high and chest puffed.  

This kid came up behind Si and punched him in that back of the head. It wasn’t a good punch by any means but it was more then enough to drive Simons drunk brain into utter rage. 

He turned around and punched this kid straight in the head. He went down like a stack of bricks, head making direct impact with the concrete floor, killing him instantly. 

The kid was only 18, he had so much life left to live…..

Of course Si felt absolutely disgusted in himself, he couldn’t believe what he had done. Killed a poor kid who made a stupid decision and ultimately ended his life as well. 

He handed himself over the the police without hesitation. He went quietly and respectfully, cooperated with the police throughout the whole trial, never redirecting blame onto the kid or made it harder then it needed to be. 

He pled guilty for involuntary manslaughter and assault. Gaz, Johnny and Price all pitched in to get him the best defence lawyer humanly possible……ultimately, it worked. Even though the general public was outraged at his light sentence. 

Simons lawyer claimed the punch was in self defence. Someone attacking him from behind also trigged his PTSD resulting in Simon not being able to control his actions in that moment. 

These defences along with him serving in the military for 15+ years and cooperating with the authorities got him 8 years in prison, his sentence was quickly reduced to 4 because of his good behaviour. 

It wasn’t an ideal situation by any means, but it was the best case scenario with the cards he was dealt. 

But lets fast forward to the present….. How did you decide to actually start writing to an inmate? How did you even find out about it?

I have this really cute idea that maybe you were walking through the shopping centre and there was one of those pop up markets that sit in the middle of everything, you know, with the really annoying people that flag you down and you have to awkwardly not make eye contact and walk past them while they’re try and sell you stuff?

Yeah, one of them. This specific stand kinda caught your eye though, It was called “Write An Inmate”

You talked to the guy at the stand about what exactly “Write An Inmate” was and he explained that he was part of the program when he was locked up, how much it helps inmates get through their sentence, helps connect them to the outside world and genuinely just keeps them hopeful. 

First off you were a little hesitant…..speaking to someone who’s in jail because they broke the law sounded a little scary…. 

But hell, its a start of a new year and taking some time out of your day every once in a while to write a short letter to help keep someones hopes up is the least you can do. 

Besides! One of your childhood best friends big brothers went to jail and he wasn’t a bad guy! One of your new years resolutions was to spread more kindness and this is just a perfect way to do so!

Once you got home, you look up the website on the brochure that was given to you and quickly start scrolling through inmates.

They all had profiles with information about them. You couldn’t see what they were in for, but you could see other information like their name, age, date they signed up for the program, time served/time until they get out, amount of letters they have received, a short description of who they are/what they like and a few photos showcasing what they look like. 

You scrolled through a few but they all seemed to have gotten hundreds of letters, you wanted to write someone who wasn’t getting flooded every week with letters, maybe send a letter to someone who could use a pick me up. 

Clicking on the last page you scrolled to the very bottom and click on the last inmate before it even had time to load. 

Once the page opened the name “Simon Riley” appeared on your screen

After looking through his profile a wave of sadness rolled over you 

Name: Simon Riley, most people call me Ghost  Age: 36 Joined: December 26th, 2021 Letters Received: 0 Time served: 3 and a half years  Sentence ends: Year and a half  Description: ex military. I like dogs, big ones not small ones, the outdoors, playing cards and motorcycles. The first thing I want to do when I get out is to eat a steak. 

Attached was three photos. I won’t even lie, they’re definitely dad selfies from different angles HAHAHA they’re such grainy photos too, like they’ve been taken on a 10 year old android. 

Two of the selfies are him with a black balaclava on and the last one was of his face without anything covering it, but again it so grainy you can’t really make his facial features out. 

Simon had joined the program two years ago and hadn't received one letter. You felt horrible, he joined the day after Christmas probably hoping to receive something, anything, but not one person took the time to write him….. 

So obviously Simon was going to be your prisoner pen pal, how could he not be…..

I think the letters start off pretty innocently tbh, you don’t start writing to Simon with the intention of starting any sort of sexual or romantic relationship, it truly is out of the goodness of you’re heart, you sweet girl :(

Simon had totally forgotten about the program honestly, imagine his shock when the prison guard threw him a letter. 

When he frowned and asked who its from the guard just shrugged and said “write an inmate program” and walked off completely unfazed. 

But again, starts out super innocent, things like “I saw that you like big dogs, what’s your favourite breed?” and “what’s your favourite card game? I know how to play blackjack but I’m not very good haha”

I’d like to think you don’t even disclose your gender or name at the start. Keeping everything under lock and key. 

Simon also answers back with pure intentions at first, he has an inkling you may be a women because the hand writing is wayyy to pretty and delicate to come from a man. 

But again! He doesn’t get his hopes up, it could be an old granny for all he knows, but he can’t shake the idea that maybeeeee it could be someone a little more his type, ya know ;)

After a couple weeks of writing letters back and forth you feel like you’re getting to know him a little better. He asks you to call him Simon, not Ghost and he starts writing the cheesiest dad jokes at the bottom of every letter. 

“Two fish are in a tank, one turns to the other and asks “do you know how to drive this thing?” a little army humour for ya’ :)”

His so charming in such a rough and rugged sort of way you know? It sounds silly to say, I mean, you’ve never met him! But the way his handwriting is complete chicken scratch and how he adds little “:)” “:(“ and “>:)” makes you giggle! 

You end up telling him your name and how old you are, I mean, its only fair! You know his name! You definitely didn’t tell him because you wanted to get his mind racing, get him thinking about all the different possibilities, make him fantasize…

Its fair to say you have a little crush on him :( ahhhh its so humiliating! A city girl like you, good job, successful family and a bright future laying in bed every night fucking your pussy with a brand new dildo you bought just so you could imagine Simon, a felon, fucking your little cunt :( 

When Simon sent his letter that week asking for a photo of you, your little crush just got bigger :(

“Its only fair don’t ya’ think? You know what I look like, why don’t ya’ return the favour sweetpea ;)” 

And of course you did!! He asked so politely! 

Putting on your pushup bra, doing your makeup and styling your hair all for him:(((

You get so frustrated because you don’t want to look like you’re trying too hard for him, argh! Its all so embarrassing!! Your such a needy girl >:(

You make sure to push up your tits, your bra helping them spill out over your cute little shirt and giving him a good view of your gorgeous body. 

After an hour of taking photos you finally get the shot you were looking for 

Eyes sparkling, cute little smile on your lips, light hitting your face just right, lacy bra slightly peaking out the top of your shirt just enough that it looks like an accident, beautiful tits sitting right in frame so he can get a good look and the slight curve of your waist visible. 

Its perfect, it look so effortless…..in your eyes at least

When Si received your letter, his cock got hard the second he saw your picture :((((

Since his been locked up he hasn’t been able to jerk off properly >:( 

His balls are so heavy as is, and now he has a photo of you 

He could basically cum in his pants at the thought of holding your waist as you ride him. Using his big callused hands to fuck your pretty pussy onto his aching cock >>:((((((

You’re so put together! nice clothes, from the look of the background, nice apartment, clean bedroom. Just the thought of him corrupting you, fucking his baby into you, making you move into a shitty little apartment while he works and you look after his chubby baby makes his dick start to twitch :3

Before he can stop himself, he cums all in his pants :(

He hasn’t cum properly in years! yet a simple photo of you did it for him in seconds!!! You’re such a nasty minx, you know exactly what you’re doing you dirty girl >>:(

That night he lays under the covers, his cell mate fast asleep on the other side of the room as he slowly pumps his cock to the photo of you.

Eyes closed and head thrown back against the thin pillow, he bites his lip so he doesn’t make any noise. 

You see, playboy magazines get passed around all the time, they’re not hard to find if you know the right people, but it just doesn’t do it for Si!!

Of course they’re beautiful women, there’s no doubt about it, but everything so photoshopped :(

Si likes his women natural. No skin smoothing filters or enhancements from photoshop, he likes his women real 

His so deprived that he cums in record time, his hot load shooting all over your face, the once clean photo now sticky and stained….

He wished he had it in him to be embarrassed, but he just can’t! God, he needs to hear your voice, your picture just isn’t enough anymore….

In his next letter he asks if he could use his monthly call to speak to you……Johnnys just gonna have to wait, they can talk football another time >:(

Aghhhh, PrisonPenPal!Simon is so fucking cocky it hurtssss, PrisonPenPal!Simon is open for requests so feel free to send them throughhhhh, add to the AU, ask me expand on certain topics, whatever floats your boat >:)

!Disclaimer! - Above is NSFW content - MDNI - If you follow my blog without your age in your bio, you will be blocked - If you are under the age of 18, you are not welcome here, otherwise, enjoy :)

Cat divider sourced by @positively-mine from Pinterest - Pink line divider by @eloquentreverie - MDNI divider by @cafekitsune

Basic blog housekeeping -  fic requests guidelines, boundaries and my rules for minors

[talleyuh]

just finished the bear season 3 and there is such a collective cognitive dissonance from everywhere from the writing of the show all the way to the social media marketing.

i know i’m biased because i particularly like syd and carmy together, but this season was strange but in different ways than the last season was strange.

not only does carmy take a backseat as a protagonist about halfway through, he and syd have hardly any scenes together, but i think the show almost suffers for it. this season was certainly funnier than the last, but the neil and ted fak got old and old fast. it certainly doesn’t help that even though carmy has a new arc every season, but he doesn’t take the lessons he should’ve learned into how he should act going forward. it’s stunting his growth and now that we have three seasons to compare to one another, it’s only more apparent.

we’ve already talked about how funny characters are stronger than comic relief characters and that’s essentially what the faks are. i really liked neil’s more vulnerable moments where he got to be taken seriously but it’s hard to take him seriously when all of his screen time is him doing stupid shit. also the hauntings thing? it really was not that funny.

also the show is making such an active attempt to rewrite its own history and i don’t understand why. so many little details that connect moments from the past and present to make up who the characters are and yet it’s kind of being thrown out the window.

claire being described as carmy’s peace threw me for a loop because he felt out of place in his own relationship. i think we all know the clip of carmy’s late s2 panic attack where thinking of claire and him together makes it worse but now we are given so many more scenes of when he was happy? what narrative are they trying to spin here? was carmy genuinely in love with claire or mostly disinterested, because it can’t be both.

even claire doesn’t seem interested in being with carmy at this point, and who can blame her?

her presence was just kind of weird to me, because she didn’t really interact with the rest of the cast until the 9th episode. i think her brief hospital scenes were to flesh her out more, but it’s really just creating vulnerabilities and revealing the seams. and because she’s never really been developed as much as everyone else in the series, we’re left with more questions. who was that in her bed? why was she never fired for insane medical malpractice? what is any of this for?

also a lot of the lighting this season has changed. i saw one user (can’t remember who but their post was super interesting) mention how much warmer and inviting the scenes with syd are as opposed to the coolness and almost detachment the scenes with claire were. except we see carmy in cool lighting a lot more this season.

i also wanted to add where carmy gets overwhelmed in the finale, thoughts of claire coming in with a violin sting like a horror movie doesn’t add to the narrative that they keep telling us. that’s another thing i noticed. they tell us how great claire was even though their time together hindered him being involved with his passions and his coworkers, but they retcon things and add scenes of them happy and have carmy tell us how amazing she is but they barely cared to show us.

a huge theme in this show is family and responsibility. and the scene where neil fak said claire could be the one to take care of carmy and vice versa really rubbed me the wrong way. first of all, i think it kind of supports the idea of codependency which isn’t great but i could be reaching. second, carmy isn’t really equipped to take care of anyone and i think the way he interacts with his coworkers when he’s frustrated is proof of that.

don’t get me wrong, i thought this season was amazing television, christopher storer is a brilliant writer and director, joanna calo really should helm more episodes bc ice chips was actually a perfect episode, and ayo getting the opportunity to direct tina’s episode was so amazing and i really hope i see her name in more directorial projects in the near future. but i think we’re getting a little lost in the plot here and losing sight of what the heart of the show is. the literal restaurant. and logically some of the decisions made don’t exactly hold up and i would hate to see this show fumble.

it can’t be a coincidence that so much of the show’s marketing is tied to carmy and syd and i think efforts to trick the audience are actually making the show suffer. or the increasingly less subtle decisions in the editing in the few scenes of them together? are you really gonna gaslight a whole audience for the sake of a misdirect?

[z-eel]

im bored, so here are the jobs i think the marauders would have if they were just normal ass people pt 1;

part 2 | part 3

James would work for his father in the company he owns. i'm not sure why but i get the feeling that after he graduated school he didn't really know what he wanted to do with his life so income Fleamont Potter (the man he is) and offered his son some low-level job in the company (we only allow an acceptable level of nepotism). he does regular paperwork and he loves making powerpoint presentations. oh and i get the feeling that James is the one who’s standing by the water cooler making small talk with everyone (in all honesty James is the personality hire and he knows that). the funny part about all of this is that James would tell everyone that he's only there until he figures out what he wants to do with his life and no one believes him (his current goal is to become team leader of a project) there are some people who despise James because he's the son of the ceo. like there have been complaints of James not working and stuff and they complain to Fleamont hoping they fire James and Fleamont's just like ok I'll deal with it (he does not in fact deal with it (James always gets his work done and always has lunch with his dad to give him updates on his work)).

Sirius is funny. i dont know how else to explain it but Sirius would be one of those guys who's like a mechanic but doesn't actually have the job of a mechanic. like he says he is, but he's not. and it's not to hate on him or anything because he's actually a really good mechanic, he just doesn't have the 'official qualifications' or whatever. and the only way he even makes money is by inserting himself in other people's conversations. like he'll be at an auto store and someone's having an issue with their car (about some part or another) and they'll talking with the cashier about it (the cashier doesn't know shit about cars, they just work there). in comes Sirius who'll pop into the conversation and give his opinion and offer to solve the issue for like free (because it's an easy fix) and when he goes they're just like 'no let me pay for this' and it's like fifty bucks, a beer and the request to fix a friends car (it's how he met James). and that's how he would make both friends and clients. also, i just know this man smells like brake fluid (the smell gives Remus a headache).

Remus is an odd one because i see him as being like an interpreter or something similar. and when i say interpreter i mean like the ones in the tablet that the doctors drag around when they don't have an interpreter on site. what language, i don't know, your choice really but i can just see him on the tablet, the image is lagging and the audio is cutting off a bit but know he still looks good with a headset. (i also see him as a Mcdonald's employee, but that seemed too basic for him (again the headset)). generally, i feel like Remus would be a polyglot (he was so bored he learned different languages for fun (definitely, knows like french and german)) so he would be translating a lot. in fact, that's how he met Sirius (you know before he was an online interpreter). Remus is also James' chosen interpreter whenever he is to meet with foreign companies (yes James does meet with other companies because although he's technically he's in a low level position he's still son of the ceo and he trust Remus not to fuck him over).

Peter works as either an accountant or works in marketing. i'm more inclined to say he's an accountant because he would mostly be in charge of Sirius 'business' (he's trying to actually open up an auto shop) but at the same time he would be in marketing in the Potter company and have all of the office gossip (he would be working with James and I one hundred percent believe Peter would be James' boss). Peter would be an absolute terror toward James when he first starts (always sending him out on coffee runs for the whole floor with complex orders, and James just takes it in good fun (no James never messes up an order) but he's the first one to help James if he ever feels overwhelmed by the workload. over time though James starts to do better and eventually becomes Peter's boss, and he's only a little annoyed by this but at least James isn't sending him on coffee runs (no, that's the job of the new intern that James can't keep his eyes off of (oh and god forbid Peter asks for coffee, James would chew him out for 'overworking' the intern)), Peter can't wait for that bit of information to spread through the department, he might just tell Fleamont and Euphemia next time he goes for dinner at the Potters.

this is slowly becoming more detailed than i thought it would be... the girls are up next.

[rookflower]

"everyone in mapleshade's vengeance (minus the kits and whatever other exceptions whatever person making this point opts to include) is a bad person" is a take that does indeed work to establish that yes, this is a story piloted by every party with any agency acting out of cruelty and hurting others, and is also an attempt at gesturing towards nuance (or at least, thinking outside of black and white morality. it is in itself a kinda inherently un-nuanced take) within the idea of good vs evil in the story. however where i believe the issue with the phrase lies is in the assertion that the reason why these characters are enacting violence on each other is because of some unique inherent nastiness they were born with or that were predisposed into their character writing rather than addressing that their flaws (while still horrible) are specifically systemically driven.

before she kills ravenwing, mapleshade commits no crime that is worth the persecution she faces, and her mistakes are in fear of facing what she inevitably does. she does not obfuscate information about her childrens' parentage or take them into that river out of malice or uncaring, she does it because she lives in a society that will exile her children in a storm once it finds out that they are illegitimate, and see that she leaves. the birchface thing likely exacerbated her punishment, sure, but she still had no safety net. if it could happen under that circumstance it could happen under any, and that is the tragedy of it. (the bridge-she-couldve-crossed thing is clearly not something the authors remembered or considered so is kind of textually irrelevant)

likewise, frecklewish does not display some unique inherent xenophobia to herself that we don't also see across the timeline from dotc to present, that even characters the writers intend as sympathetic like crowfeather and gray wing will display. this doesn't whatsoever absolve her of culpability, cruelty is cruelty regardless of the source, but it isn't her that is the source of her own hatred, it is the clan system, and her own grief that is amplifying it. "frecklewish wasn't sent to the dark forest for the river thing, it was because she yelled at the kids" is a funny take because yeah to us the readers her violent outburst is clearly her "wrong", but in-universe i really don't think starclan would care LMAO.

now, as with a lot of things in warrior cats that are deeper than the text on page i''m not sure the erins are necessarily consciously Trying to write the clan system as an inherently cruel, violent, and bigoted system- they might very well be throwing in antagonistic characters with the intent that their prejudices and toxic patriotism just form naturally and randomly like mutuations- but as i've said before i do find an interesting parallel between the series' necessity to maintain its status quo and flow of conflict for sake of marketability and series continuation, and the fact that the world in-universe has a code with xenophobia baked into its laws and consistently writes conflicts about the cruelty of the warrior code without ever being able to take steps to major to address and remedy the flaws that lead to this conflict lest it Paint The Clans As The Bad Guys or force them to step too far away from their tried and true formula, so the cycle continues. i think that's the tragedy of mapleshade's vengeance to me- it's a story that occurs because of some pointless interclan war about rocks or whatever else and everything that occurs to mapleshade is done to her by cogs and/or perpatrators of this machine that values compliance and order and clan isolationism. she's a minorly selfish and oblivious person, she isn't born evil. the people that hurt her aren't conniving supervillains, they're just people with the capacity for cruelty given the motivation and the chance. and that's worse, in a way, because they come out on the right side of history and like a dozen generations later squirrelflight and leafpool are going to get put on a trial to go to hell for the same crime that got her exiled, because the system is fucked and the system hasn't changed.

[lurkinglurkerwholurks]

Stephanie Brown for the headcanon game please!!

You, I'll have you know, were actually first (good job), but I've been sitting on this one because my canon knowledge for Steph is bad and my fanon knowledge for Steph is bad, so she's in the pile of characters I have yet to get a good grip on.

Headcanon 1:  Realistic

Of the melange of canon backstories I've seen for Steph, my personal (admittedly sketchy) interpretation for Steph thus far has been:

Lower-middle class kid (not poor-poor but definitely a "one emergency from disaster" type household)

Lived on the edge of the Narrows and went to a low-ranked public school, so she identifies more with Jason's end of the spectrum than Tim's

Her dad is the standard crook/deadbeat/conman. Not physically abusive to her, probably but neither caring nor present. Very self-centered, definitely verbally harsh at best.

I don't ascribe to the nurse-stealing-opioids version of Steph's mom. I think her mom is a nurse and works long, unappreciated hours. She loves her daughter, maybe a little abstractly, and tries to be what she thinks a good mom is, but she's essentially a single parent whose deadbeat ex shows up to cause problems from time to time. Once Cluemaster is off the game board and Steph is a little older, I do think they have a bit of a trauma-bond relationship thing going on.

Headcanon 2: May or not be realistic, is definitely funny (at least to me)

Stephanie absolutely tries to rename herself at multiple points in her childhood. If you keep her rooted in the time she was created, she's one of like seven Stephanies in her class. If you affix her more towards present day, Stephanie is a dated name and she doesn't like it.

She absolutely goes the Anne Shirley route and picks a name she feels has pizazz and tries to get her classmates and teachers to roll with it. Alas, they do not. It does not help that she tries this at least three different times.

Headcanon 3: Evil and heart-breaking why would you do this

Not evil or heart-breaking, just softly melancholy.

Stephanie does. not. want Bruce to be her dad. No thank you! She's done with dads as a concept anyways, but if she were in the market for one, it wouldn't be Bruce Wayne, are you crazy? (If she had to pick, maybe if forced she would pick Jim Gordon, because she sees how he treats Barbara and she hears how Barbara speaks about him in return.)

Bruce Wayne, though? No way, Jose.

But she cannot escape the fact that every kind thing he's ever done for her, every quiet word of praise, every awkwardly tentative pat on the shoulder, every time he's stopped and just rested a heavy hand atop her head, as if taking a moment to soak in her presence was all he needed, has been indelibly carved into her brain for all time.

She doesn't want a dad, and she doesn't want Bruce to be her dad, but secretly she's glad she does have a Bruce.

Headcanon 4: Doesn’t align with canon (or maybe even reality) but I do what I want

By the time Stephanie is in her mid-twenties, her hair has darkened so much, it's more accurately classified as an undistinguished light brown. There, I said it. Stephanie Brown bleaches her hair as an adult.

[writingwithfolklore]

Hello 👋 are you an author if so please how did you promote your books online

Hello!

I am a writer, not a (published) author yet :,) I'm still trying. I do have a background in marketing and communications though, so here's my 2 cents!

How to Market a Book

Know your audience

You can spend all day (and all your efforts) posting and creating content, but unless you're posting the right things in the right places, it'll be a wasted effort. You should only focus on posting content that will reach the people who would want to read your book.

So take your genre/age range/themes of your book and try to connect them with an ideal reader. Your audience might look like "girls aged 12-15 who like dark magic, are fans of Maggie Stiefvater, and identify with a warm climate" for example. This gives you a start on where to reach these people.

1.5 Research your audience

When you come up with an audience you believe would be most likely to read your book, you now need to do research on them. Most importantly, you need to know what they need--what pains them in life, and how does your book fulfill that need?

Other things you should know about your audience:

Where do they hang out online? (Social media platforms, forum rooms, communities, etc.)

What are they searching for?

How do they prefer to consume their content?

What key words or hashtags are they likely to use/be attracted to

What do they appreciate from online messaging? (younger generations prefer authenticity, older generations tend to prefer clarity)

You can do this through searching it online, or better, talking to people who would be part of your target audience and asking them about their habits.

2. Form your brand around your audience

Your brand is more than just colours and fonts (though having that consistency is important too). Mostly, it's about how you interact with your audience and the world. Are you cheeky, genuine, funny, edgy? This should depend on what your audience wants to see.

Most brands align with what's called an archetype:

The archetype provides a structure on your brand voice, colours, values, and essentially how you present yourself to your audience.

Different audiences will appreciate different archetypes. A younger, fantasy-loving audience may feel more aligned with the Hero + the Jester for example. I'd recommend looking more into these + examples to get a sense of which would be best for you.

3. Post content your audience will find value in, where they are likely to find it

By this I mean, if your audience is most likely to be on Instagram and TikTok, that's where you should be too. This information comes from your target market research.

Also from your research, you should find out what your audience values and how that aligns with your product. So, let's say your fantasy novel comments on real world social issues, and you're aiming for a Gen Z audience. This is a perfect pair because Gen Z tends to value social issues and the environment (among other things), so you should be posting things that really highlight that aspect of your work.

3.5 Social media tips!

Success on social media is nebulous, but there are a few things you can do to help your chances:

Follow trends (that make sense to your brand)

Worry less about posting often and more about posting consistent, high quality, and valuable posts

Do what you enjoy (trust me, trying to post things that you don't love to do will not last that long. Focus on using social media in a way that you're proud of your product and like the process.)

Engage your audience--reach out to them, instead of waiting for them to come to you.

Engage with others in your circles as well! Other fantasy authors, editors, artists, etc. are a great beginnings of community, and can provide opportunities for guest posts and collaboration

Go to IRL events too and invite people you meet to follow you (open mic nights, networking events, festivals, book readings etc. are all great events. Just make sure you're not focusing too much on plugging yourself, and make genuine connections!)

4. Have a hub

Social media is a great starting point, but it's important for long-term brand and audience building to have a hub that belongs to you for your audience to collect. For example, if your audience is entirely on Instagram and IG suddenly closed the next day, you'd be left with nothing. However, if you also have a newsletter and use your Instagram to lead people to your newsletter, you never have to worry about that suddenly going away, you own and can control that newsletter and how you interact with that audience.

On that note, if you've read this far, help a gal out and check out my website or follow me on Insta @gatesannai thanks!

[ann3dre]

LA SQUADRA TUTORING YOU HEAD CANNONS(ft. Other headcannons too)

All are platonic

ft: Sorbet and Gelato too!

If you want a hc on how the bucci gang would tutor you heres a link!: Bucci gang tutoring reader

•formaggio

He's a highschool drop out. But that doesnt go to say he isnt smart, he's plenty resourceful and when it comes to sudden moments of distress he can calculate how to get his ass out of it in a second, so like street smart. Sometimes his parents wish he wouldve applied it to his studies before. Anyway back to tutoring, his ass would go like narancia but you would have to BEG him to teach him to feed his ego and really make you ask for it. 'I dunno im kinda busy ..' 'I think i'd be too smart for this you wont be able to keep up!'

it took 30 minutes to get him to teach you. When he does he cant understand jackshit whats on the paper but he tries to play it cool "uh 7x - 5 uh... Its 100000!". In the end your ass fails your homework or whatever you were studying for and when you go to formaggio about it he just laughs it off and maybe he would try to make up for it, maybe offering you to watch one of your favorite movies.

•Illuso:

You kidding?... He's a highschool graduate and didnt bother with college/post academics. Like formaggio he needs a beg to feed his ego in order for him to actually accept to teach you and... 90% of him tutoring is just him insulting you and his sarcastic remarks for each example question. Even when you get an answer right the first try he goes 'WOWWWW yOu GoT ThAt RiGht!' in the most annoying tone that makes you wanna hit him so hard. When you apply it to ur homework during the session, you get half of the questions right but if you apply it to your studies after... You just get too annoyed and end up craming them thanks to illuso's snide remarks. You swear you can still hear him when you pick up that pen and paper.

•Ghiaccio:

You now know the past present and future lessons by heart mind and soul... But at what cost?.

Ghiaccio is a STEM graduate who avoided the Humanities course or related courses like the plague during college and purposely cutted at english/literature class back in highschool.

He's pretty smart but he's impatient. When you ask he's annoyed but he reluctantly agrees. During your study sesh even if you cry and plead you wont be able to leave until you know everything about not just the lesson BUT THE SUBJECT AS A WHOLE (assuming its math/sciences). Even if you run away he will freeze you down.

Ghiaccio:"You started this you finish it. SIT YOUR ASS DOWN"

•Melone:

'IM NOT A CHILD DAMNIT!"-you

A lot of people think he's a med school drop out. They're kinda right Let me word this better, he technically didn't drop out or turn to the mafia right away he just switched paths during his time at College. Turns out he didnt want to be a Clinical Embryologist but maybe something simplier... A teacher and tried getting a bachelors degree in early childhood education.

(Which is funny because even with the career change he still landed himself in the mafia.)

And even when he changed he didnt finish that either!

But that explains why he's really good at teaching and also given his stand he also has to do a lot of teaching. Convincing him isn't that hard he just agrees and is actually really happy about it. Side note though you now feel like a child. You appreciate how he dumbs it down for you but if you're not the kind of person who likes being babied you'd be very irritated in this teaching sesh. When youre done you understand the lesson a lot! But again if youre the type to get annoyed that you are treated like a child you'll feel a little pissy.

•Prosciutto :

This is no longer math its the MILITARY. He probably completed college, what course? He'd never say, though rumors say its something in economics/marketing but what's been confirmed so far has nothing to do with what he took in college/university just what he did.

They say that he was an intern for a modelling company as a side hustle and thats it. So its not sure what he pursued.

Back to tutoring! When you approach him he gladly accepts but you'd have to schedule. When the time comes you find yourself doing push ups while Prosciutto says 'Whats the answer to 1x²+x-3!?' and you'll have to shout back at the answer. When youre not exercising expect him beside you watching your every move on the desk. The plus side he gives little hints to the answer, to slight hand movements, to mouthing it out.

By the end of tutor lesson you now know the lesson better! And now have Prosciutto as your designated tutor so youre stuck with him! Be prepared to meet him again when you get a low score though, turns out he found a way to keep tabs on your class..

How? We dont know either.

•Pesci:

Pesci had to be pulled out because their parents couldn't fund his education any further, and needed him to help out with work (fishing) in order to bring more money to the table.

Due to this Pesci is a little insecure about it so he's really hesitant to accept to tutor you! He's very nervous so sometimes he gets back on his word when he's pointing things out and going 'Okay so this is.. Wait holdon i might be wrong!'. Study sesh is a mess and you cant even get mad at the guy he's trying his best. Even so you still thank Pesci and Pesci says that he didnt help at all and you say its alright and he did help. In the end you study on your own and get good marks you go to Pesci and say that he's tutoring helped you out to make him feel better!

•Risotto:

"Risotto that's too in depth! I get it now, we've been on the same topic for the past hour!"-you

You thought it'll be really boring but... HE CANT JUST STOP TALKING AND TALKINGGGG!?...

Risotto is a highschool graduate and like Illuso didnt bother with college but didnt have the same motives thinking its useless or anything, but he already knew where he would end up and continue to do the rest of his life. Even so he is really well red and still is book smart! So theres no wonder how he knows certain stuff. When something you don't know happens he will info dump on how and why the phenomenon happened and end off the sentence with "... I read it in a book once.."

When you ask he nods and agrees, but like Prosciutto, you gotta schedule since he's usually busy. You thought it'll be a normal study sesh and its just gonna be boring because at surface level Risotto is a very quiet man. But no! He wasnt nonchalant! Motherfuck wont stop yapping and introducing topics you haven't studied yet either that or he's over simplified the equation its been an hour! to the point you cant even answer he just continues and continues and continues. If you tell him about it though he slows down and matches your pace, this kinda shows his dorky side and how passionate he is in studying. Dont worry he's a very observant man so he knows what parts you have a hard time with and tries to teach you but he just gets caught up in the moment he goes.. and....

In the end you barely remember shit just the moment of surprise on how Risotto tutored you.

if you're doing homework you got all marks but you have no idea what you were tutored about.

•Gelato:

Go to sorbet.

I like the head cannon that Gelato and sorbet were ex military but I think only Gelato is ex military. If you come to him for tutoring he just refers you to sorbet and wont budge at all and if youre really persistent he gets real annoyed so expect a bruise and not even getting sorbet to tutor you after. All cause you pissed off gelato.

•Sorbet:

You gotta pay a small, (BIG) fee first. Sorbet graduated marketing and economics yeah thats right he got a joint degree thats why he's really good at money or at least knows better on how to use it. Thats why gelato tells you to go to sorbet instead because this is the type of stuff he's specialized in. But he is not a good teacher he cant even explain it properly the whole study sesh is you being confused as hell, and the cherry on top of this disaster he gets mad when the answer is 0 (EVEN THOUGH ITS THE CORRECT ANSWER) but he thought its money somehow. When youre done he goes 'There ya go✨!'

and you dont know jack shit.

Authors note: No doodle unfortunately but this one's pretty Lengthy and features everyone from la squadra!!!!! I based Risotto's on his fight with dia and dop, with Pesci's I wanted to make a parallel between him and Bruno in a way. I also wanted to write more about Gelato and Sorbet but with the little we know of them I just winged it.. What do yall think?

Should I make little doodles of these too? Do you guys have requests? Feel free to tell me!

[branules]

is cloud also a lesbian in your mind? i feel like the dynamic between cloud and sephiroth would be interesting either way. either we've got "here's this cis man who gets she/her as soon as he puts on a dress, and he doesn't even want it" or "gay rivalry" and those both slap :D also your art is AWESOME and i think it's SO COOL

haha yes my cloud is butch, i've posted art of it a couple times and am planning to draw more of it. it took me a long time to settle on this hc before "debuting" it because i wanted to be sure i could defend my choice if prompted, much as i did for sephiroth. i think cloud's relationship with gender is compelling and complex. i'm going to put most of this under a readmore because it's going to end up long as hell even if i show restraint.

the shinra propaganda machine made the military and SOLDIER many young people's heroes as a very idealized version of masculinity, strength, and courage. cloud aspired to all three of these traits in a way that i feel resonates with a lot of kids who don't totally relate to being a "girl," speaking from experience. i also just think child cloud's design really gives little tomboy energy.

cloud's character arc is a conflict of identity and self-actualization (in some ways, so is sephiroth's). i can imagine him seeing zack as a model of positive masculinity in his life and latching onto it in his post-coma confusion. gender is confusing even without a very fractured sense of self. some butches might identify as transmasc for a while; some continue to identify with the term, while for others, time and reflection leads them to settle more comfortably in ambiguity- butch, nonbinary, etc. i see cloud falling somewhere in this spectrum in the end. i think, ultimately, he does not identify as a man, while still wanting to be masc. he/him lesbian, more genderqueer than binary. i do think he was on T for a bit. being butch is awesome.

but as to the idea of a "gay rivalry" between cloud and sephiroth, i am not interested in sefikura because the knowledge that cloud idealized sephiroth as a child and worked under her as a teenager makes me uncomfortable. but i do find their dynamic in ffvii and onwards to be compelling in a lot of ways and hope to draw them interacting more often. since you're asking about their gender presentation, i'm especially amused by the idea of younger cloud being like, "man i hope i can be masc like sephiroth one day" when sephiroth herself comes to identify as a woman in the end. oops!

i like cloti, believe it or not, despite its very heteronormative depictions in a lot of fan content and, let's be honest, some canon. so i would say i enjoy my personal vision for cloti, just as i do enjoy my personal vision for aeriseph. for me (as a lesbian), tifa's affection and commitment to him makes a looot more sense through the lens of "i WANT that fail butch." we've all been there. on the whole, cloti is a lot more messy and complicated than many domestic-cloti-bliss fans typically acknowledge, when that's what interests me in the first place.

as for the wall market section, i never really saw the crossdressing scene as gender-affirming. it's definitely funny (aerith and tifa are SO into it, it's hysterical). cloud didn't exactly enjoy it, but he didn't seem upset, moreso embarrassed. very butch to me.

as a final note, these days it can sometimes be hard for me to truly latch onto a character if i cannot come at them from some kind of lesbian angle, but for me it typically has to be well-thought-out. anyway, this has been long af but thanks also for the compliment about my art! i'm very glad to be able to draw again after an injury-related hiatus.

[hooked-on-elvis]

JERRY SCHEFF ON ELVIS

"There was just something about the way he sang, and also the way he'd interact, that was really really good. It was the musical communication and personal communication. He was just really nice to us. It was fun to play, you know." — Jerry Scheff, bass player.

Scene from "Elvis On Tour" (MGM, 1972): Elvis and his bass player Jerry Scheff. Jerry played bass for the singer from July 31, 1969, to February 23, 1973, and again from April 24, 1975, until Presley’s final show on June 26, 1977, at the Market Square Arena in Indianapolis.

The admiration in Jerry's eyes when he looks at Elvis... it was earned. 🥹 Jerry said in an interview he didn't like Elvis' work until 1969, when he was invited to play in Elvis' band in Las Vegas for the first time.

Jerry 'thought that jazz and classical was what was happening at that time' and, although he had played some pop and rock 'n roll songs before working with the King, he never played rock "Elvis' way". The funny thing is: Jerry was a recording studio musician and played in several artists' records, including two records by Elvis himself, but from that moment as a musician working in studios with Elvis prior to work in his live concerts, Jerry has no memories. There's records showing that Jerry Scheff was one of the professional musicians playing in Elvis' soundtrack recording sessions in two occasions prior to the invitation to join in Elvis' TCB Band, but he doesn't remember such moments or ever seeing Elvis at that period. Jerry was asked about it and his first answer was negative, saying that he never played in any of Elvis' soundtrack albums, so the Union contracts were presented to him and there it was. Jerry played bass on the soundtrack albums for the films 'Double Trouble' and 'Easy Come, Easy Go' (both times in 1966).

Below, another picture of Jerry looking at El with that same shine in his eyes (this is 1970 - and that admiration in his eyes means a deep respect, as you'll notice further on):

1970. Jerry Scheff is at the far left in the picture above.

This information above comes from an 1999 interview with Jerry Scheff. Following, a few excerpts that I found very interesting.

Do you remember what songs you rehearsed [in 1969, getting ready for the 'comeback' at the International Hotel in Vegas]? J: Oh, I can't remember. Blues songs, and 'Trying To Get To You', 'My Baby' - things like that. I read somewhere that you rehearsed about 150 songs. J: Oh yeah, we went over a LOT of songs, and then later we never rehearsed at all, so it's a good thing we rehearsed then! (laughs). It surprises me a little that you rehearsed so many songs, and yet stuck to the same 12 - 15 songs the entire engagement. J: Well, that wasn't up to us. It does after a while when you play the same songs, you know, get a little - But the saving grace was that Elvis never did anything the same way twice. We always had to keep our eye on him. You never could just, you know, relax (laughs), you had to pay attention. You never knew what he was gonna do. Never.

Elvis on stage in late 1969 and then early 1972 (with Jerry Scheff).

One interesting point in this interview is what Jerry said about Elvis and his political views:

Did you ever discuss political issues with Elvis? J: No, I never discussed politics with him. But in some ways Elvis was more conservative, and in other ways he was very liberal. He wasn't someone that was following some political line, you know. He'd figure out for himself what he thought was right.

Elvis with Jerry Scheff onstage in the 70s.

Here it is: The most heartwarming moment in this whole interview (I recommend you reading the full article that I'll link at the end), is when Jerry Scheff stands up for his friend:

Towards the end of his life, Elvis was criticized badly for his appearance, his weight gain and so forth. J: You know, I've always been the kind of person that - I don't judge people on what they look like or on their faces. Period. I think that it very well could be that Elvis thought that he was a normal American man approaching middle age, and let himself go a little bit: 'It wasn't anybody's business'.

March 1977: Elvis and his musicians (TCB Band) on stage. Jerry Scheff is at the far up left corner, Ronnie Tutt hides behind his drums and James Burton is at the far right corner.

"The idea that it was Elvis' duty to keep himself pristine looking is ludicrous. It makes me angry to think that people think that. Why, what does he owe them? He doesn't owe them anything."

— Jerry Scheff

The press really went after him for it. J: The press was just horrible. But then again, I don't remember a good review, even in the early years. The press was always horrible. I discounted what they said. There were jokes about him on television shows and stuff, and people were really really cruel. They don't say that about, let's say Neil Diamond. They don't say: 'Neil Diamond is bald now, why doesn't he get a toupet?' or 'He's got a paunch'. Or David Crosby of Crosby, Stills and Nash. They don't go on about him, and he's overweight. But it was Elvis, you know. It makes me angry, it really does. People wanna make money, and if they need to be nasty about it, they'll do that. They'll crack jokes - Saturday Night Live will have a parody of Elvis, some fat guy with a jumpsuit on, and everybody goes Ha, Ha, Ha. They're like grave-robbers, you know. I don't have any respect for them. That part of human nature is not a very positive part of our make-up. A lot of the troubles between human beings are the lack of compassion of one another, and a lack of tolerance between human beings. How many of these same people that are saying this about Elvis and putting these parodies on the screen, how many of them have potbellies, how many of them have let themselves go, how many of them have other faults that are far worse than than the 'sin' of letting yourself get a little overweight? Or being so unhappy that you're - Because I have been there. I had a really bad bout of clinical depression some years ago. I was in that syndrome, that whole thing - drugs, alcohol and stuff. I understand that, you get caught in that. It's not a nice thing. Elvis was obviously in a depression in his last years. Feel some compassion for him, you know. He's a human being, for crying out loud - no worse, and no better. But he was certainly not as bad as some people. He always treated me with respect. We had an extremely good relationship. He was NEVER disrespectful to me. He was always there if I wanted to see him.

Another very interesting thing Jerry Scheff said concerns Elvis' Memphis Mafia guys. It caught my attention because linked that recollection to one of Elvis' old times army buddies' book (Johnny Lang's "My Army Days with Elvis: Friendship, Football, & Follies"). Johnny mentioned attending Elvis concerts in 1975 and 1976. In one of those occasions, Johnny talked to Charlie Hodge backstage and asked him if he could see Elvis and talk to him up close again, after many years without seeing each other after the army service. As Johnny shared, Charlie behaved overprotective and, without even checking, said Elvis was too tired to see anybody, but that he would say Johnny said 'hi' to him. It makes me sad to know not only friends like Johnny were hurt by what they probably assumed were strict orders by Elvis to those men working for him, and that they were only following them, but to think that Elvis many times didn't even was aware there were old friends that still cared for him so much to travel far distances with their families just to watch him perform live on stage, but also hoping that maybe they could be with him for a moment just to catch up a bit, and he never even heard about it... never. We know more about some of those cases than Elvis knew. That's so sad and it makes my blood boil, to be honest. How could they? Jerry Scheff, however, trusts they had their reasons to do such thing as to block people to get too near to Elvis, even old friends:

J: During the last years, these people in the so-called Memphis Mafia got into this Howard Hughes thing, where they could pick and choose who could see him. One night Charlie Hodge came down in the dressing-room, and said: 'You know, Elvis is really bumped out because you guys don't wanna see him'. And Ronnie and I said: 'Charlie, we have been down there to see him, but these guys always say: 'Oh, Elvis is busy'. So Charlie went back and told Elvis that, and Elvis hit the ceiling. Charlie came back and told us that Elvis just blew a stack. So there was that kind of stuff. I'm sure that all these people fulfilled some need that Elvis had, and I don't mean to question their motives. They just did what they thought would be best for him. So I don't try to judge that. But I do know that Elvis was always there for me.

Interview conducted in Denmark 1999 by Arjan Deelen. All rights on the excerpts published here goes to elvis.com.au. There's many other interesting information to learn on this interview. READ THE FULL ARTICLE HERE.

[supercorpkid]

Yours Truly, Pink Kryptonite

Supergirl. Kara Danvers x Reader!, Alex Danvers, Lena Luthor

Word Count: 3003.

"As you can see here, we'll start this presentation with an overview of the current business –" You look out the window to see Supergirl staring at you and waving excitedly. "landscape, and, um, the importance of embracing innovation." 

You look around, making sure no one is paying attention to the Kryptonian calling out for you from the other side of the window. What the hell could she possibly want right in the middle of your most important work presentation ever?

You obviously know Kara does a lot of things, but working 9 to 5 isn't one of them. She runs off from CatCo whenever she wants or has an emergency.

Emergency! God, there must be an emergency!

Your mouth dries, and your eyes widen. "Or, you know, everyone knows this." You look at your boss, furrowing his brows at you. "We know our company and where we stand. So instead of wasting our time with the introduction, why don't we just skip to –" You press the control skipping through basically half of your presentation. "the expansion to new markets. And who better to talk about that than my team! I'll leave it to you guys, and will answer to this very important call from our program developer. We know he hates to wait. I'm sorry. I have to –" 

You slip out of the conference room, heart on your throat, completely unaware of what you just said in there.

Supergirl meets you at the balcony of your office with a wide smile. "Kara!" You close the door behind you, looking around you to make sure no one is paying attention or seeing the both of you through glassy walls. "What's the emergency?"

Kara tilts her head to the sides, like a confused puppy. "Emergency?"

You touch her arms, looking for something that could explain why she is here in the middle of the day. "Yes! I mean, isn't there an emergency?"

"Not that I'm aware of." She smiles widely.

It's your turn to master your most confused face. "Then why are you here?"

"Oh!" Kara lets go of your arm, and puts a lock of your hair behind your ear. "I came to ask you out."

"What?"

"On a date! Tonight!" You're still looking at her like you haven't got the faintest idea of what's going on. "Maybe lunch?" She tries to get a different reaction. "Now?"

You look around. This must be a prank. Is someone filming this? Is today April Fools? Surely not. 

"You're not saying no." Her smile brightens up, like this is the most amazing thing that's ever happened. "So that means I can fly the hottest woman out of here right now?"

"What?" You repeat, yet again, baffled by everything that is happening. "You can't. I — I'm working."

"And you sounded so smart in that board meeting, baby." 

"Baby?" You whisper to yourself, more confused now than before. If that's even possible.

"But work is boring," Kara strokes your cheek lightly. "and you're honestly so pretty that I'm sure you'd never have to work if you wanted. Oh! You know what, we should do that!"

"Never work again?" You ask and she agrees enthusiastically. "It's not like you do anyways." You try a little joke and Kara laughs like you just said the funniest thing in the universe.

She composes herself, after a loud snort. "Ok. So you're smart, and pretty, and hot and funny. Golly, how did I get so lucky to get you to go on a date with little old me?"

You open your mouth a couple of times, but keep your comments to yourself. She is literally Supergirl; You never said yes to any date; and WHAT THE HELL! Are some of the things you refrain from saying.

"Kara, I have to go back to work. This presentation is really important." You point to the door and she agrees, once again, vividly with her head. 

"Ok, ok. But lunch?"

"I can't. I have a meeting with the developer." She pouts like a child, and you can't say no to her. Not when she looks so adorable. You breathe deep. "Dinner."

Kara bites her lower lip, holding back a huge smile. "Dinner is perfect. I'll organize everything, and you just have to go and be pretty, which is basically what you do all day anyways."

You furrow your brows one more time and agree with a nod. You make your way to the door, and make a mental note to call Alex and ask her what the hell! 

"Hey baby," You look over your shoulders and back at her one more time. "Your butt looks awesome in this outfit." 

"Thanks?" While your face burns red in embarrassment. 

You spend the rest of the day trying to concentrate on your work, but you can't really because you need to understand what happened between you and Kara this morning.

Sure, you two are used to a little bit of flirting. Subtle and awfully vague. Just little jokes that usually makes Kara completely uncomfortable, and makes her blush in no time. And now, just out of fucking nowhere, she is calling you baby and asking you out on dates?

You: hey! Kara's a bit off today. Something happened? Alex 🌈: oh, yeah. Pink Kryptonite. Why? You: great! One more! What does this one do? Alex 🌈: not sure. Just discovered it. Send me a list of symptoms.

A list of symptoms. Ok. You can do this. 1. She looked extremely happy. But that's not a symptom. 2. She had the courage to ask you out. Could that be a symptom? No. Surely not. Asking people out is not a symptom of being exposed to kryptonite. 3. She called you baby. Yeah, you don't have a list.

You: IDK, just weird. We'll meet up later and I'll try to investigate further. Alex 🌈: great! Will do the same from here.

Not good enough. You look down on your phone one more time. Change conversations.

You: hey! did you happen to see Kara today? Lena the witch: Yeah… You: everything alright? Lena the witch: If by alright you mean weird, then sure.  You: weird how? Lena the witch: She spent the entire duration of our lunch saying you butt looked great today. You: got it ✨super weird✨. Lena the witch: What's up with that? You: unsure. will let you know as soon as I figure it out.

You get ready for your date. It feels weird thinking about it. You've been kinda flirting kinda joking with Kara for a long while. You never thought this was going anywhere. It's not like you didn't want it to happen, but Kara Danvers is not gay. Which is unfortunate for you.

Except today she was the gayest of the gays. Queen of the lesbians. So you can't help but look in the mirror one more time, before saying out loud this time, "What the hell!"

Of course you like the idea of you and Kara going on a date, but it feels hard to enjoy this when it is so sudden and out of the blue. Just yesterday when you were leaving the Tower late at night and said goodbye with a simple, 'see you later handsome', Kara blushed so hard, she lost all her words and stumbled on her own two feet on the way out the elevator. How was she so smooth this morning?

You open the door, after the doorbell rings once. Kara is on the other side, the brightest smile on her face and flowers on her hands. "Hey baby."

You blush furiously. Can't keep your body in check, no matter how much you want to not enjoy this moment before you find out exactly what's going on with Kara.

"You look incredible. You always look incredible." She makes sure, a thumb sliding on your cheek delicately. And it's only the second time she's done this, and you're already addicted to it. "Oh, I brought your favorite flowers."

You look at it, bite your lower lip and hold your breath. She looks beautiful. Like an angel in front of you. Blonde waves cascading down her shoulders, blue eyes as bright as the day sky, smile as wide and white as possible, and she is here holding your favorite flowers. How the hell are you going to resist her?

"Thanks, baby.” God, no! What are you doing? No flirting! 

You turn around, putting the flowers on a vase, and trying to keep your hands and yourself busy so you don't jump on her and kiss her senseless. "Hey, what does Pink Kryptonite do?"

"Um, Pink Kryptonite?" Kara plays coy and you don't even have to look behind yourself to know she is smoothing her hand over her vest, right after touching her glasses. "Where did you see that?"

"Well, baby," You turn around to face her. "it seems that you've been exposed to it." Kara's mouth drops, not knowing what to say. You close the distance. "And believe me, I'm loving what's happening here, but I need to know if this is you or the kryptonite talking. So, what does it do?"

"It turns Kryptonians alittlegay." She mumbles under her breath, and it is only with much effort from your part that you understand it.

Your face drops. "Right." 

It's not like you're shocked about her revelation, she was acting like the lesbian jesus right after being exposed to a hot new type of kryptonite (why so many?). You breathe out, looking at the flowers and trying to ignore your selfish heart and desire to just go along with it.

"You should go."

"What?" Kara's eyes get full of tears. "But, the dinner."

"You're not in love with a woman, Kara. The effects of the kryptonite will fade and you'll regret this whole thing. So before we do something that can ruin our friendship, you should go." 

A tear falls from her eye, and she bites her lower lip to keep herself from crying out loud. Your heart is squeezing in your chest and you're having to summon all of your strength to keep going with this and not just simply kiss her better. 

"But that's not it." She tries, sounding small and in pain.

"Kara, it's ok." It's your turn to stroke her cheek lovingly and carefully, wiping the single tear away. "It was fun, but it isn't you. And for this to happen, I need to be you. Ok?" You're explaining yourself with caution, almost as if you're talking to a child. She agrees with her head, slowly, looking small in her tall body. "Don't worry. It will wear off soon, and you'll be yourself again. And you’ll be glad this didn’t happen." You kiss her cheek and give her a wistful smile.

Kara makes her way out of your apartment, crestfallen and so disheartened you almost feel bad. You take a deep breath. She'll be fine. She'll thank you for this when she wakes up free of the Pink Kryptonite.

Gee, a kryptonite that turns them gay. What the hell was going on in Krypton? But also, you wish you were there. The parties must have been wild.

You turn around in your bed, the flowers that Kara brought keep haunting you, because you decided to put them right next to your bed. You sit up, rubbing your face awake. Why the hell did you kick Kara out the door? It could've happened! It could finally have happened! Why didn't you take advantage of it?

Oh yeah. Yours truly, Pink Kryptonite. Ugh. She didn't really want you, she was just gay for a day. You roll your eyes to yourself. Now you'll just have to live with the awkwardness and the desire while you're around her. Great.

You hear a light tap on the glass and you let out a shit-scare scream, only to see Supergirl flying on the other side of your window. You hear a soft, "sorry." when she realizes how shaken you got.

You open the window to find a glowing Supergirl, and it doesn't take much deducing to understand she's been under the yellow sun bed for a while.

"I flew as close as I could to the sun." She explains, still on the other side, but it's quick to make her way inside. "The yellow sun emulators are alright, but there's nothing better than the real thing."

"Yeah." It's all you can say.

"I wanted to get rid of the Pink Kryptonite as fast as possible." Kara explains it further, and finally puts her glass back so she can change back into her normal clothes. "I was going to wait until tomorrow, but I heard you were still up. I wanted to apologize."

"Whoa, I knew you'd regret it, but God that was fast. Must be some kind of new record for me." You sit back on your bed with a loud sigh.

"No, no." Kara is quick to follow you, kneeling in front of you and holding your hand. "I wanted to apologize for waiting for the kryptonite to finally show me what my life could've been like if I had a little bit of courage."

"Kara, you are the epitome of courage."

"No, I'm not. I've been wanting to ask you out for months and haven't got the courage." She confesses. "Do you know how many times I almost called you baby these past few weeks?"

"You said Pink Kryptonite turns Kryptonian gays." She shakes her head agreeing. "For you to be turned into something, you can't already be that something."

"It turned me extra gay." 

You bite your lip to hold back a laugh, but she's not scared of showing you her wide smile. "Let me show you."

"Show me what?" 

Kara perches up, thumb sliding across your cheek until her hand cups your face. "Let me show you that it wasn't the Pink Kryptonite that turned me gay." She brings your face closer. "Let me show you how you were the one that did it."

"Are you sure this isn't the Pink Kryptonite talking?"

"I'll tell you what," Her breath is hot in your mouth, and you're holding your own breath in anticipation. "why don't we go to sleep and when we wake up you can ask me again?"

"Ok." But your resolution is weakening by the minute, especially after she spoons you in bed and places a little goodnight kiss on your neck.

You wake up with more flowers and breakfast in bed. Kara has a warm smile, and she looks so damn beautiful just fresh out of bed it's annoying.

"Good morning, baby." She holds your face between her hands, thumb caressing your cheek in the way that makes your heart flutter. She’s obviously able to hear it.

You swallow deep. "Is this you or the Pink Kryptonite?"

"Why don't you ask me again after work?" Kara says feeding you a strawberry, and you agree weakly with your head.

She shows up at lunch time, and holds your smelly tuna sandwich out of your reach, convincing you that you deserve better food. She has it all set out on your balcony, a whole picnic that makes all of your colleagues so jealous of your lunch date. Little do they know she actually flew to Italy for that pasta.

And it's another thumb stroke and another, "Is this the Pink Kryptonite?" question that makes her head tilt a little bit farther and she reaches the corner of your mouth, instead of your lips.

"Ask me again at our dinner tonight."”

After work pick-ups and holding hands and perhaps it's Pink Kryptonite. Flowers and dinner dates and maybe it's just the exposure. Movie nights and cuddles and what if it is still turning you gay. Slow dancing to the TV light and thumbs slowly stroking your cheeks and why don't you ask again tomorrow. And that goes on for weeks.

Alex texts you that Kara was exposed to real Kryptonite this time. You know, not the one that turns her into the queen of gays, but the one that turns her bones into flaming hot goo. You run to the Tower and watch her unawake under the yellow sunlight. 

"Hey, it's ok." Alex holds your shoulder while you cry. "She'll be fine. A few hours under the sun and she's good as new."

"What?"

"Yeah, the effects of the kryptonite aren't lasting. It wears off if we deal with it fast."

"With all of the different types?" You furrow your brows at her and Alex agrees with her head.

Well, haven't you been wasting precious time?

You run into the medbay, and sit beside her bed. Like clockwork, a couple hours later, Kara's eyes open and she looks at you on the other side. "Hey baby."

"Oh my God, baby!" You run to her, not caring about anyone on the other side of the glass that might be able to see you both. You throw yourself at her, kissing her entire face. "You scared me."

She smiles widely. "And would do it again to have you kissing my face like that."

You hold her face between your hands, and slide your thumb across her cheek. "Don't you dare." She smiles, but soon her eyes widen when she realizes what's coming next. You meet her lips with yours softly. But soon she deepens the kiss, and next thing you know she's pulling you up the bed while sitting herself up. You’re full on sitting on her lap, while your lips crash and tongues slide and hands explore visible skin. And honestly, the yellow sunlight doesn’t help when you’re body already feels like it is on fire. 

Kara parts the kiss for some air, and looks at you with full-blown pupils. "Is this you or Pink Kryptonite?"

You roll your eyes and give her a chuckle. "Shut up and kiss me again before I think the Green Kryptonite is also turning you gay."

Kara’s tongue is almost inside your mouth again when you hear a yell from the other side of the glass.

"NO! Absolutely not! We can see everything!” Kara is quick to move her hands out of your butt. “That was more than enough!" 

Alex's face is red from yelling, Lena's face is red from embarrassment, and Nia's cellphone case is red from all the pictures she's been taking.

"Keep going! I'm gonna turn these into GIFs!"

You and Kara look at each other, "We should go." "Yeah."

So Kara was right, it wasn't the exposure that turned her gay. Still you do appreciate yours truly, Pink Kryptonite, because at least it gave her courage to be her true gay self.

[jariten]

November-December 2024 roundup!!

Happy New Year to everyone reading this! Wow!! What a year. But my personal year end roundup is still WIP so let's catch up on the months I missed instead.

I never shared my thoughts on the Who's Afraid of Kanako Inuki collection Kodansha USA published a few years back. I loved getting introduced to her but the selection itself I found a little bit weak overall but I got some more tastes this year with the Horror Anthology Comic Shikaku collection and found her stories to be among the best so I am totally open to checking out more. But what I liked the most about 'Who's Afraid' was her writings about her favorite manga and the artists who inspired her the most. Which pointed me to Ushiro no Hyakutaro by Jirou Tsunoda. Note that I didn't read the complete series but an anniversary compilation of some of the "best" stories from the series. First thing that struck me was wow, this is like Mob Psycho played completely straight. Some scenes were like the Reigen fraudster scenes but like there is no fraud because our hero's father does not fuck around when it comes to the supernatural, its serious business. And the second is how truly instructional and educational it is. It teaches the reader how they can train their latent supernatural powers, there's even a scene responding to a readers question on how to talk back to your teacher when they claim that the supernatural is not real, and presents genuinely thorough research on the super- and paranormal. In between these things is an exciting manga about ghosts, possessions, humans who use ESP for evil, and even a journey to the realm of the dead. And a sassy (telepathic) talking dog sidekick. I don't know if I will ever go out of my way for the full series but I'm happy I got a taste of what it had to offer.

When 2024 didn't turn out as yuriful as 2023 I made some last ditch efforts to read the yuri and lesbian offerings I have yet to read and Catch These Hands! by murata was an obvious pick. The series follow the instant inductees into my personal failwoman hall of fame. I love adult yuri, I love when both parts of a romance are equally socially incompetent but in different ways, and I found the conclusion to be really wonderful. Merry Yurimas to ME!

Ohayou! Spank by Shizue Takanashi and Shunichi Yukimuro is one of those like obvious Kodansha multimedia efforts that successfully sold Spank toys and related merchandise. But it's always nice though when the manga attached to these projects is pretty good and funny. I liked that Spank is more of a charming sidekick who moves the story along and sometimes gets to be the main character. It's not hugely remarkable beyond Spank's presence (and an abrupt protagonist switch around the halfway point??) but I am a humble enjoyer of tween manga like this that explores familial relations, first loves, and friendships. I just really enjoyed myself.

Price-wise I can't really win with Kazuo Umezz (Rest in peace, another great loss in 2024...) since his works go for premium prices both in the english and japanese market. A lot factors have made My Name Is Shingo one of the most expensive for me to collect in english but my godddd I'm too hooked. This is such a like not quite sci-fi not quite pure fantasy take on the sentient robot story that feels so unpredictable and is deeply suspenseful. Not in small thanks to Umezz's trademark art style. There's something extremely hypnotic about how Umezz constructs the flow of action. Had it been anyone else watching a character spend 1-2 pages just walking from A to B would be so excessive. The only word I can think of is hypnotic and suspenseful. And the spreads that visually represents Monroe's computer mind let's talk about those spreads. I haven't seen anything else like them personally and I can barely wrap my head around how they were drawn analogue and much less with a deadline. I'm very excited for the rest but will be shedding tears whenever I see the price at the register.

[legallybrunettedotcom]

idk if you've already talked about brat but i'd love to know your opinion on the album (if you've listened to it)

hi, jade! i have listened to it, quite a lot now. i have a lot of conflicting, incoherent thoughts. so when it dropped, i thought well, that was okay. fun pop, dance music. then i go online, i open youtube and suddenly see there's a bunch of videos, essays, reviews etc. about the album all with the title or thumbnail saying "revolutionary", "changed the music" etc etc. and i'm like am i going insane? does this album deserve this much attention and discourse? it's quite difficult to escape the album if you're online a lot, so some of those songs just nestled inside my ear. decided to give it a few more listens and it definitely grew on me. like maybe i do want to be going crazy to this in a club. it's obvious sophie's spirit is still somewhat present here, two of them collaborating on vroom vroom ep did change the pop music and we've seen this shift towards something more experimental and avant garde in pop. i think charli's always been a bit too mainstream for indie, and too indie for the mainstream. brat is unique, but also still very much charli. i think what she did expertly is crack the marketing strategy. we know music alone isn't enough anymore, you need a whole "aesthetic", you need to build your own world and lore. y2k, party girl persona but make it vulnerable. the specific shade of green on the cover is now associated with this album and everything that comes with it. "oh, green eye-shadow, that's so brat of you." how long that reference will last, we're yet to see. we're still very much in the whirlwind of brat summer after all. using lowercase as song/album titles has been quite popular for a few years now and ig it's this attempt at casualness, yk carefully curated carelessness, but it also reminds me of those lyric videos i used to watch when i was 12. when the remix with lorde dropped, ngl, i did tear up a bit, but i also can't help but be a bit cynical, like this too is marketing. the music video for 360, i didn't enjoy the song that much, 365 is better but also i understand you can't have one without the other, but the music video specifically sums up the entirety of brat imo. the criticisms i've seen of it are all on point, like "myopic, self-referential for ppl who live in 4 neighbourhoods in nyc/la, reminder that you're not on the list" all of that is correct, but on the other hand, it's pastiche, you have these internet famous women congregating in an ugly restaurant deciding who will be the next it girl and choosing a random waitress, a reminder that everyone can be a hottie, the it girl, the cool girl whatever. ok, that's cute, but like... i'm still not on the list. it's difficult for me to believe you aren't enjoying your fame and pedestal status, but i think she's also aware how easily you can be replaced as soon as the public gets bored. i also felt a bit insane when people started analyzing the lyrics, like specifically the song apple and being flabbergasted that it's about family and familial trauma, because the apple has been such a widely used metaphor for family since the 19th century. it felt like she was receiving the taylor swift treatment, which is funny considering that one song, yk acting like this has never been done before. of course it hits if you don't read and you don't listen to a lot of different music. in general my problem with a lot of discussions surrounding musical artists nowadays is how a lot of people seemingly have no understanding that music wasn't invented a mere 10 years ago. i'm ranting, and i'm saying a whole lotta nothing, but all in all, i do ultimately enjoy the album, like it's obviously fun and silly, and sexy and i love dancing to it. it will probably end up on my favourite albums of 2024 list, but i just don't see it as revolutionary. i could say "oh that's mother" and "those that get it, get it and those that don't, don't", but i feel like that kills any meaningful conversation and the art of criticism, which is not something i'm good at, but it's not just about "consuming" art, we have to discuss it too.

[fallenalienz]

if you removed alicent from season 2 the story would remain entirely unchanged, that's how relevant she is at this point. they built season 1 around this friendship/rivalry she had with rhaenyra and that was fine for one season but the story has long progressed past that and the writers are refusing to let this go, to the detriment of the show. they're prioritizing marketing and wasting time on a character that canonically does nothing relevant moving forward at the expense of establishing and developing characters who are actually important and whose actions and decisions do affect the story.

i've seen those leaks for the finale lol, they truly turned her into the dumbest character on the show but in a way that's just incomprehensible and has no internal logic at all (i mean, selling out her whole family, even her brother and youngest son???). it's never been a secret that they've been trying to frame this story through the lens of simplistic real life present day gender politics but it's funny how in their obvious efforts they're unintentionally actually validating aemond removing her from council and making the case that she probably should've stayed in the kitchen. if someone wanted to be charitable they could interpret her actions as being so drunk on power that the moment she's stripped of that power she loses her wits and wants to harm the people who took it away from her so badly she becomes completely irrational, but that's obviously not what the intent here was.

[inventors-fair]

Bad Pun Commentary: Stand-Up Designs

I was kind of surprised by the number of entries that we had this week, but I feel like I've been saying that a lot. Regardless, with that number there's a lot of variety in how we approached puns and wordplay this week, and there were quite a few swings of the pendulum.

The best cards, I feel, blended strong Magic worlds/designs with the wordplay as a means to bring the card's strengths to light. Having done all the commentary already, I can also say that a lot of people latched onto specific puns and then designed around them in a way that might not have taken all of the Magic aspects into consideration. Maybe that's just me, though, and I wonder if I took some of these too seriously. Still, a good card evokes emotion after the mechanics have been thoroughly established, and the conversation between what a card IS and what it DOES should flow naturally.

I've narrowed down a few Judge Picks this week, for cards that I want to commend for various specifics in their design. Thanks for your patience with commentary—I love doing these, but getting the time to do them all really is getting to me. Still, we sally forth:

@bergdg — Fell Crow

I think that this card groks pretty well. I thought the wording would have to be a little bit different, but I suppose you don't have to specifically attach it because of the ability that it's attached to a creature you don't control. Really cool tech there. I'm a fan of creatures becoming auras upon return, and while the design space isn't the widest, it's not the narrowest either. Interactive auras are the name of the game. Depending on what other themes may be present, a pseudo-free Disfigure on a flier is really strong. Not a first-pick but really amazing support if you're going into that midrangey black style that likes to control combat.

PUN FACTOR: I almost wonder if the flavor text could've used something about zombies and the dead "sticking around" for it. Either way, I feel the wordplay but not necessarily the whole thematic cohesion. Maybe it's just me and velcro not having the most Magic-themed relationship?

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@capnsoapy — Arcane Swan

Well, we're definitely in Commander territory, and I expected that we'd see a few Commander-oriented cards this week. The whole trifecta that you've got going on here is pretty wild—consistent, though! Just about everything here is bird-themed enough to make sense. The pseudo-offspring to get the Cygnet is a fair enough choice, although mild note, you are missing the second quotation mark there in the rules text. Getting a spare mana rock on turn 4 or earlier is fine with the bodies. As our second 2/2 flying Bird for three mana in this commentary (and yes, I know, that's where the similarities end lol), it's a perfectly serviceable way to ramp. Not exactly ideal for what your deck might want to do for four mana, but perhaps Bant Birds is in the market for it.

PUN FACTOR: I will admit that asking someone if they're going to use the Signet or the Cygnet is pretty funny. The naming of the token, despite being necessary for the joke, kinda makes me want to consider just Arcane Cygnet (or maybe something like Arcanist's Cygnet?) as a stand-alone card over that. Still, unfortunate that Offspring wouldn't really produce that kind of token.

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@corporalotherbear — School of Thought (JUDGE PICK)

I really like this card, actually. The on-curve illusory fliers solidifies a place in my nostalgic heart. A big school breaking into little fish feels pretty on-theme, and I can visualize the massive group of fish that would make this up. Blue's rate of fliers has been a little less aggressive compared to other colors recently, or maybe that's just me whining because I've been hardlining Mardu for the last couple weeks at FNM. Regardless: getting fliers and baiting out necessary removal is big. It can kinda suck to have an on-curve creature die from something that wouldn't otherwise kill it, but if they can't interact, then you've got some awesome beats. And if they can, you still have a couple ways to go wide! Great little card you've got there.

PUN FACTOR: Historic basis plus a subtle, pleasant image makes this one a huge in in my books. There's just enough to make it a smile-worthy pun with a strong background in, well, Magic's own school of thought.

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@deg99 — Fae Smasher

Or enchanted by Faeries! But seeing as Flitterstep Eidolon is a spirit... Anyway. Big on-curve green dudes—what more is there to say? I know you had mentioned something about the world where this came from, maybe Dominarian, maybe Eldraine, but a world in which Orcs and Faeries are interacting at all means that this thing's a beater and that's that. I'm sure that there's some niche interactions for it, but I won't harp on about the ways in which this card impacts limited, because yeah, it's pretty obvious that we're mostly based around the joke. I will say that giving this thing reach is pretty cool considering that you might also need a blocker as a deterrent for Faerie shenanigans. A better choice than vigilance or haste or what have you, I'll say. A touch more subtle.

PUN FACTOR: The name is a thumbs-up. "Face Smasher" to "Fae Smasher" isn't the twistiest turn of the tongue, but it works. I feel that the flavor text isn't quite reaching me; I love that Kr'Ogg loves the sparkles, but we get that he hits the pixies and sprites. Could've been slightly trimmed and/or given a more poetic touch.

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@dimestoretajic — Banana Appeal

I've seen a Kibo deck play. I've seen so much unintentional misery from that Kibo deck after a game's gone on for a thousand turns. Either way, thank goodness that this card is here to make that slightly faster. The second ability should be worded "Whenever a player sacrifices an artifact token" to start, I believe, but it's fair to say that you've got some Banana nonsense on your hands. Actually, I thought this gave haste and not trample, because I was going to make a Xenagos comparison, but looking at Xenagos it should also be "...target creature you control gains haste and gets +X/+X until end of turn" there too. Either way, the trample is interesting, because Kibo tends to be lower to the ground, and I can imagine this being in other lower-to-the-ground decks that aren't as common in Commander for that reason. Going tall can be a little more wild than going wide if you've got this kind of evasion, after all. Token builds? Voltron? I think you've got a few potential options.

PUN FACTOR: There is indeed an amount of appeal there. I'm not guffawing, but I'm smirking. IT's certainly well-themed and I'm positive that Kibo players would love playing it both mechanically and thematically.

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@dphkraken — Living Daylights (JUDGE PICK)

Sometimes I wish that this effect was better in its respective formats, because I love blinking and I love returning things, and in limited you're not always in the best spot when you're saving your stuff like this. But you get to be a little aggressive, you get to be on-curve, and as a bear this one is pretty darn funny. The fact that you can return itself like a mini-blink really feels on-theme for it, and despite this paragraph mostly being about mechanics I gotta say that the theme connection is tickling me a bit. It's momentarily here, and then it's not. Protection as long as it's untapped is really interesting too, and while the gameplay aspect of that probably isn't going to be as relevant as the ETB, you've got a fun little block potential for those interactive black aggro/control decks matching white's curve. What a neat little card.

PUN FACTOR: "You scared the living daylights out of me! How do I know? It's right there!" I didn't expect anything like this card and I'm pleasantly surprised. The flavor text gave me a sensible chuckle as well. Lovely little card you've got.

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@fluffycattens — Airlift Supplies

As far as I can tell, you do indeed need to list out the token types in a bulleted list. I like the notion of making these things, though, and I also like "choose one that hasn't been chosen this turn" effects in just about all colors. The ability to get multiple Swords onto the battlefield honestly feels like a sleeper hit in limited when you can get permanent buffs to move around for your creatures. Maybe it's a bit of a mana investment, but that's just what you need sometimes to swing for the win if you don't have any specific combat tricks up your sleeve. I feel that this one should definitely be a rare, because getting resources every time a creature enters feels like a bit more of a boon than uncommon should support, especially if you have any kind of token creature creation as a main theme, which fits well for the Mardu.

PUN FACTOR: The tone of the flavor text evokes Duskmourn in a way that doesn't feel cohesive to Tersa's character as we've seen on flavor text. "Dragon drop" is kinda funny, but only on places where "drag and drop" would also make any kind of sense, and Tarkir really isn't the right environment. I'm honestly not sure how one could make this work fully.

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@fractured-infinity — Ghastly Prison

I was baffled about the wording between this and things like Blood Reckoning, but then I read Kazuul and now I'm even more baffled as to why Kazuul doesn't just say the same thing. There's probably a really obvious reason that I'm missing but I won't get into that now because, well, turns out that your wording is totally correct aside from the "you are" instead of "you're" there. An attacker's tax is still pretty good, and I imagine that this is more of a Commander-oriented card, although the power that you can get from playing this in limited is pretty wild. Throwing it down turn four on the play means that your opponent really has to crawl back to something that resembles a decent attack. Quite an interesting problem, but them's the breaks.

PUN FACTOR: I don't think the wordplay is as strong as it could be on this card. Ghasts are usually spirits, and there's already Ghostly Prison as the base for it. The flavor text doesn't really ring in anything for me, either. Fine card, but as far as puns go, I'm not feeling it.

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@genericaura — Lights Out (JUDGE PICK)

Weirdly enough, Teleportal is the only other card that's quite as comparable to this, at least as far as I can tell. There are other sorts of effects that make your opponents' creatures unable to block, but that's no exactly what this does. And on that note, I really like that mechanical bend! Personally, I like it being an instant, because I love making my opponent try some pre-blocking shenanigans before I hit them with the secret combat trick. That said, play design would mostly likely make this a sorcery for intuitive purposes. I do wish that this card had flavor text, but it's not egregious without it, I suppose? As a Dimir card, it's pretty excellent, and a good way to turn your little not-as-evasive spies into game finishers provided that you don't need to use this to blow something up. Not bad, not bad at all.

PUN FACTOR: More on the "clever" side than the "funny" side, but really great as it stands. The dual meaning with the uncertainty of the image is really well-done!

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@grornt — Treasure Haunt

Yeah, perfectly serviceable as a black uncommon, and a real pain in the butt in limited when you're on the receiving end of an aggro build. The death-to-Treasure pipeline is pretty great for both helping with the pun and encouraging continued aggression, because at the turn that your opponent might be able to get something to block this creature, you can then ramp your second main into something else that they're gonna have to deal with on top of drawing a card. It's not great in the late game and it's not supposed to be—this card is something you want on turns 2-4 to get yourself swinging. Welkin Tern with ramp/draw on death in black is actually really great, and I think this card can go straight to print! Just about every archetype could find a use for it.

PUN FACTOR: The flavor text really does good work for this card. I sometimes find it frustrating that the good English words are already game terms, but that's my neuroses about variety as it appears on cards. It's definitely cute, and the whole package really brings the mood together. If this was a pirate-themed contest, it'd be a runner-up at the very least.

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@harunakonomi — Marrow

It's fascinating how Lord f Extinction really changed the whole Lhurgoyf experience, and at the same time it didn't change it at all. Cards in graveyards mattering has never been so simple. Did you feel smart for this card? Honestly, you should. It's amazing to find that space that seems like it should've been tread already, and yet just doesn't exist in the same way. Is this card necessarily good? It'd be good in draft and I'm sure that someone would find a way to make it work in Commander for a big casual beater; other than that, it is just a vanilla creature. But lordy does it just feel good to see and play. Maybe it would stay around 6-7 P/T at the top end in an average draft game. But that's still worth a rare slot and worth the fascination. I enjoy the fact that you've shown me this card immensely!

PUN FACTOR: Not gonna lie, though—someone had to explain this to me. I'm a fake Magic player and 100% forgot about Maro. As far as that goes, the callback is clever enough for me to give it a nod, even if I personally feel embarrassed that it wasn't obvious to me. Good flavor text, too. Just the right amount of gravitas.

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@helloijustreadyourpost — Bear Witness

Capenna? Arcavios? Where have all the good bears gone? Seriously though, I'm surprised that there isn't a specific bear world. Let's make one up then! I wondered if a bear witness would return a 2/2 creature from graveyard to hand, but I think I actually designed that a few years ago. All the same, scrying upon criming is pretty reasonable. She sees your actions, boom. Scrying is a little weak for uncommon, IMO, but that may be just me. I like the Citizen typing as well to fit the character. For a card that's exuding a more silly vibe, all the pieces come together enough for me. The P/T fits, of course, and I can envision a U/G detective-themed archetype with criminal choices. I really do think this could be a common with crime reminder text.

PUN FACTOR: Honestly I think I've seen this name on at least three custom cards before, so the surprise factor may have been diminished. Still, that was before crime was a mechanic, and I appreciate you bringing that together. The flavor text might have been stronger with a different bear-themed pun. "And then, the dramatic paws—" ...okay, maybe not that, but.

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@hypexion — Towering Wickerfolk

"Creatures with flying can't attack you" is an absolutely bonkers line of text. As someone who is trying to get back into Brago combo, I see this card and I'm seething immediately. Now, Sandwurm Convergence is already a card, and I had to double-check to make sure that the rules said what I thought they said, so this isn't exactly new ground, but I'm still incredibly happy to see it on a body like this. At the very least this card is an on-curve evasive creature that ruins blue's time because it essentially makes all of their fliers useless. If this is ground-to-ground combat, then you're still in for an awesome time. Perhaps it's not the most combo-centric card, no, but it doesn't have to be. Big green straw machine. I can picture the art, too, even without a description—giant scarecrows are underrated.

PUN FACTOR: It's evident that the scarecrow-to-flavor-text connection is the basis for this entire card. And you know what? I'm not complaining. For being a well-tread dad joke, the "field" of terrifying people is probably ironic enough for this to get at least one smirk. Fitting for what it's trying to do.

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@i-am-the-one-who-wololoes — Foreshadow

Positives: the name being the name of the creature and not the verb is a nice little twist. It is the Foreshadow—yeah, it's a little bit off the beaten path for those sorts of names, but it's evident that you ran with it in the best way you could. Multiple copies can definitely help to get more counters, and this can pick off some of your opponent's smaller creatures quite easily, and/or make the eventual combat that you play this a bit stronger. I feel that the Shade type could've worked better (there is no current "Shadow" type). As an on-curve rare, it feels clunky for general removal and it's not the most efficient use of mana, but it's doing exactly what the flavor wants it to do, and that's kinda the name of the game here. Between this and Tetzimoc I think I'd be fine with either, although Tetzimoc is a bit more immediate. Very minor note: you forgot the period in the first ability.

PUN FACTOR: Heh, guess I already mentioned this in the previous part. I do kinda like it in the end. The flavor text adds that insidious little wink, and I feel that it's as good as it can be. The name as a noun being verbally connected with Forecast as a verb ability is slightly confusing but that's just English for ya.

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@izzet-always-r-versus-u — Crunching Numbers (JUDGE PICK)

I'm only starting off with this as a caution to double-check precedent, but someone did point out how much this flavor text was similar to the flavor text of Oversimplify. Now that aside, the punny nature of Strixhaven cards, and especially Quandrix cards, is still very much alive and well here, and the connection you made between the art description, Magic's "bite" effects, and the flavor of Quandrix all adds up quite well—mediocre pun intended. The number are indeed crunching. Let's talk mechanics! I imagine that if you need to take out a big creature with your own big creature, a three-mana bite sorcery is going to be fine, and whaddaya gonna do, it's limited. Using a massive creature to take out a smaller creature and get a body and trigger any kind of +1/+1 synergy and/or ETBs and/or token creation... You get the picture. The ability to get a big body off of this and remove a small blocker turns your board presence up to the max. Very fun mono-green advantage.

PUN FACTOR: Like I mentioned before, it really does all come together sans flavor text, and knowing you I'm sure you could come up with something exactly as clever. These kinds of puns for this contest, the ones that really blend what's established with what's witty, make me smile.

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@lanabutnotdelray — Loan Ranger

This is going to sound weird, but I feel that this could've been an uncommon. I'm comparing it to something like Generous Plunderer, which is of course doing its own thing, but giving your opponents Treasures is a really risky thing. Attacking with a 2/2 that has to ramp your opponent in order to not be blocked is, well... I can say for certain that unless my opponent is at exactly two life, I would never once use that ability. Ramp and fixing is absolutely not something you want to give to your opponent without massive upside to you, and a single instance of small evasion isn't enough of an upside to justify this. Maybe if you were looking to get into more of a connection with the name, you could punish your opponents for using the Treasures, either by causing a negative effect or giving yourself more of a bonus. This current iteration isn't strong enough for the cost.

PUN FACTOR: I can picture the mustache-twisting character here, that kind of Graywater vibe. Aside from that, I feel that this card could definitely have leaned on flavor text to determine whether this character is more villain or charlatan. It's definitely imaginative, though, and I didn't expect this reference.

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@lemurking — O-Mai, Lord of Good Heavens

Oh my, good heavens, dear God, holy crap, great scott. We'll get to that part in a second. Within these colors, the BG Food build is available—where does the Food come from? A token generated upon death doesn't actually help build into the activated ability that O-Mai is asking you to do. I don't mind the general idea of an inverse/draining Food token—and if there were some kind of Abzan Food build-around archetype, then sure, I'm all for it. Still, and this is a personal thing, I don't think I'm on board for making literal divine poop tokens by eating food. That kind of flavor is... Well, I won't be too vulgar. The bottom line is that for a mythic that has a specific archetype, not being able to specifically support that archetype without a multitude of support cards feels like a miss to me.

PUN FACTOR: "O-Mai" and "Deer God" would have been enough. It was enough, and then the joke didn't stop, and I think that "less is more" is the lesson I want to pass on here. The flavor text is entirely nonsensical, and like, I get it, it's all part of the sayings—what's necessary here? You can have punny cards that still feel like cards. The snowballing expressions all add up here but not in a way that makes O-Mai feel like it's coming into its own.

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@phyrexiandreadthot — Bear Arms

What is it about bears that draws puns out? Is it just the word? I honestly couldn't begin to tell you. Well, now we have a bear with a, uh, type of firearm! Fantastic. And that's less sarcasm than good-intentioned snark. Anyway, I feel that the snap-on could've been "When this Equipment enters, if you control no creatures, create a 2/2 Bear token and attach this Equipment to it. If you don't create a token this way, attach this Equipment to target creature you control and untap it." I don't know why, but it feels like it groks better. The long and short of it is that you've got a pretty annoyingly strong buff for this cost, but whatever, it's a big flashy equipment and you can stand for it. The colored equip cost is definitely a hinderance, one that may or may not be necessary, and I actually appreciate it. It's hard to see the whole in-universe flavor of this card, but something tells me that this wasn't intended to be part of a particular world.

PUN FACTOR: I mean, it's exactly what it says on the tin, right? There's a lot going on here, and in the end the card itself doesn't really serve the pun; it could've been any bear-themed equipment and it would've felt fine. I'd have liked to see you emphasize some other aspect of the pun, some other dimensionality.

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@piccadilly-blue — Once Upon a Crime

I've got a lot to say about the flavor here, but the first thing I'd like to say is: THANK you for including reminder text for non-evergreen mechanics. Phew. Right, now: this card allows you to commit a crime without actually countering the spell, a la Fatal Push wording, which is clever as hell in itself. The twobrid cycling is something that I don't think we've ever seen, either—so maybe nonblue decks can run this just to draw a card, sure, great limited resource there. A two-mana counterspell is always strong, and the ways to make crimes happen is abundant enough for this to be a fun possible-include for control decks in this theoretical set's era. It is just a counterspell, sure, but sometimes that's all you need.

PUN FACTOR: The flavor text and art depicting a flashback feels really unique to me, pleasantly so. Maybe the art is kinda vintage-y, depicting a character who has a legendary card in the same set as an adult... I might just be tickled by the cool perspective, honestly. The actual pun is decent, if not a knee-slapper. The whole vibe leans on the serious side of detective pulp—and I mean that as a compliment! It's cohesive in a way that's worth acknowledging.

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@real-aspen-hours — Barry, the Hatchet

Mechanically, this is actually an interesting card that helps with both sacrifice effects, delirium effects, and general aggro all at once. I'm honestly quite impressed with how this turned out on the mechanic side of things! The ability to get a new body and get a free evasive attacker that may or may not need to stick around is really powerful. I think it's a good idea to keep this legendary for sure. Facing off against two of these would be a nightmare, even if sacrificing one axe to the other could be funny. Regardless, I really like the way that this card would play out. Quite a strong design. I don't really understand the flavor of what you're going for. Is it supposed to be a possessed weapon? I guess that would make the most sense.

PUN FACTOR: The name doesn't have anything to do with the flavor, and is in fact the opposite of what the adage means; if it's going for irony, then it's still a little too on-the-nose with the homophones. Additionally, the English appropriation of the indigenous story-turned-saying may be more off-color than perhaps intended. Might be something to be aware of in the future, these things happen.

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@reaperfromtheabyss — Treebuttal

Yep, it's a kindred Treefolk spell, at least in spirit, and wouldn't yew beleaf, you don't have to branch out to make a decently funny card. In all seriousness, I like the trend of cards that are objectively better in X scenario even though they can be played in YZ deck just fine. This card is a slightly upgraded Hunt the Weak, being an instant with a Treefolk bend, and it's nothing new but it's also still very good. I'm not personally a believer in four-mana fight spells, and as a result I've often been on the receiving end of many powerful four-mana fight spells that have made me lose horrifically. Not much I can do about that but accept that it's a decent rate! The flavor name and the fact that it's an instant tie into each other well, I like that.

PUN FACTOR: I might have liked a little bit of AD or FT to really solidify the humor of the image, but it's something I hadn't considered going into this contest and something I haven't seen before wordplay-wise. I'll admit, I'd love to tap mana and have the conversation of: "Do you have a response?" "Better than a response—I have a TREEBUTTAL" and get a groan from an opponent. That's fun.

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@stareyedesper — Deadnought

It's interesting, actually—a quick skim shows that the original "Dreadnought" name is just "fear not" in origin, and it's a pretty valiant name for such a sinister-sounding origin. Magic's non-UB dreadnoughts are limited to two actual ships and Phyrexian Dreadnought... Hm. Did this intend to be more shiplike? I'm not quite seeing that, unless it's more that this is just a nickname for some big brutish thing, in which case...well, Dreadnought's actual meaning is kinda strange here. But I'm getting off-topic, because this is supposed to be mechanics. Right. The only real critique is that I think the indestructible should come before the tap, like on Popular Egotist. Aside from that it's a pretty cool big mono-black Zombie bomb, and there's nothing wrong with that at all. I'm imagining that it's more of an amalgam in design, perhaps, something cobbled and stitched into a giant form. But that's just my imagination.

PUN FACTOR: Like I mentioned, it's a little strange to have this not quite related to ships, but only because I looked up what kind of ship it was. If we're going to just start calling all kinds of juggernauts "___nought," then that's fine by me. Wait, where does "Juggernaut" come from, then? I keep getting distracted by etymology... [Edit: it's Sanskrit in origin, really cool Hindu history, bastardized into English. Check it out.]

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@tanknspank — Mourning Wood

Well, it had to come up sooner or later. Day and night is one of the mechanics of all time—and look, I actually really liked Day/Night in limited. I was a fan. Whether or not it was good was another story, but the fact remains that I personally thought it was cool. The one thing that mattered was that the cards that cared about Day/Night actively made it so that it would get started, and this land isn't relevant by itself because of that. Womp. I don't know if it would be too wordy with it, honestly, but that doesn't matter because it's more or less necessary for these kinds of cards to function. As far as the day/night stuff goes, why would untapping do anything if it goes off between turns? Are you going to float upkeep mana, untap during an opponent's turn for...reasons? I'm not sure I "get" this card's intentions on a mechanical level, but maybe I'm missing something.

PUN FACTOR: "Wallow in grief," is that what they're calling it? I snorted and contemplated the appropriateness, but we're here now, so—yeppers. Heh. Fine, it's funny, I'm still smirking, take that as a consolation prize.

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@wildcardgamez — An Otter You Can't Refuse

One mana to counter a creature spell is quite powerful. I mean, we've got Strix Serenade as probably the closest equivalent to this card, right? It's far narrower, and the creature that it gives is smaller with no evasion, and... Hm. I wonder how strong this card is, and then I remember: one-mana creature counter. There's a lot to ponder there but a prowess Otter really isn't going to get through much. I think this card's really trying to push those limits and I'm down for it. It's incredibly annoying to play against, sure, but it's mostly a limited problem; constructed formats can deal with it and play around the holdup. It doesn't stop combat tricks and it doesn't stop other control decks with their shenanigans, so I'm on the side of it being powerful-not-broken.

PUN FACTOR: Am I being offered an otter? Well hot damn, sign me up! It's cute enough to be a fair reference, even if I'm a little concerned that the last time we saw prowess-Otters they were sapient. What kind of otter am I being offered, hm? I'm not saying no, I'll take the otter, but I want details. And a little hat.

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@yd12k — Pinafore Stranger

Well, the majority of the card is based around the joke, but as far as the Omen goes, it's a little odd to have that kind of color-hate at common, IMO. There's precedent for it sometimes but tapping and drawing is still okay? I guess? So my issue in discussing this card's mechanics is that it's so central to me understanding the flavor of the pun at the center that the actual card itself feels like it got lost in the shuffle. A vanilla 2/3 whose omen taps a creature is fine, and the multicolored common spells, I'm on board with. The theoretical environment might not want as many omens, but I'm sure there are enough to make it work with multicolored pairs at common if they're not too complex. Tapping an allied color doesn't grok well to me, but I get that it's all in service of the rhyme.

PUN FACTOR: I have no idea if there's a cultural reference that I'm missing or if the wordplay between the creature and omen name is just that. Either way, I don't feel that this was the best approach.

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@yourrightfulking — Corvid-19, the Ill Omen

So it discourages you from attacking with two or more creatures as well? I guess you have a two-powered evasive flier, and then you're in a standoff with each player only really able to attack with one creature at a time. Honestly, I get the stax aspect of this card, but I don't feel that it necessarily leads to better gameplay. I can see how this would grind down games over time until both players have a massive board and nobody really wants to swing until they can guarantee good blocks, which is far less likely with this thing putting counters on attackers. If there's any kind of larger -1/-1 counter theme, too, it's probably a nuisance to lose your synergistic creatures. I get that it has to happen sometimes. I just don't think this card specifically is the way to deal with that.

PUN FACTOR: I feel that this card is in poor taste, and I'm not sure how the humorous aspect is supposed to come across here. I get the wordplay—it's the reference that's not doing it for me.

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Thank you all for your entries! Was it just me or did we have a lot of green this week? Either way, enjoy your mechanical designs this week.

@abelzumi