#it’s just NOT that serious

[transryanguzman]

sometimes it really is not that serious sometimes a little lighthearted comment about a ship is just that sometimes a little silly spec is just a little silly spec sometimes we all just need to step back and take a breath

[sophisticatedswifts]

I don’t know if any of you have seen the tiktok trend about the “invisible string theory” where people post about some sort of connection they realized they had with their partners and if it’s something simple like “I found this old photo and realized we were on the same soccer team as kids,” other people like to police it and say “well if you’re from the same town, that’s likely to happen, that’s not an invisible string moment” but I find it funny because if you listen to Taylor’s song it’s like “the grass was green and so was your shirt”

[inbabylontheywept]

so once me and my wife were watching a documentary where a snake ate like a million eggs. that snake just went to fucking town on eggs. and the snake made the eggs look so good that i kept thinking about it, and thinking about it, and thinking about it, and eventually it was 11pm and i ran out of willpower and decided to eat one (1) singular raw egg just to prove to myself that the snake was surely a liar.

the snake was not a liar. texture is like, super important to me and raw eggs are very Texture so i had another one, and then another one, and then another one, and eventually i ran out of eggs.

i had like, fifteen raw eggs.

i didnt really know how to explain this momentary madness to my wife, so my Plan was to put all the eggshells into a grocey bag, and then throw that grocery bag in the dumpster, and if she never noticed that would be Excellent and if she noticed immediately i could lie and say that the eggs went bad.

except i cant lie very good, and of course with murphys law being such, i got salmonella.

so i threw up a lot and my wife asked me what poisoned me so and i tried very hard to dodge the question but i was oozing shame like oil from a room temperature cheese and eventaully i gave in and told her everything and to her enormous credit she was more flabbergasted than actually upset. she did make me promise to not eat any more raw eggs, which i have stuck to, and she gives me weird looks during nature documentaries now as if desire was the only thing keeping me from eating thousands of pounds of krill anyway i made a joke earlier about being able to eat my age in eggs and my sister in law in law made a drawing to comemorate the moment and also because it was my birthday. she's excellent. thank you 10000000% @cintailed. you should all visit her page and admire her work.

[cafeyote]

me and gang at the haunted house

[rollercoasterwords]

pet peeve is when a fellow hater conducts their haterism such that they leave the hater community vulnerable to attack. “i think characterizing Character A in x way is boring and annoying” = beautiful, flawless, unimpeachable haterism. no one can tell u that u aren’t allowed to find a certain characterization boring. “it is morally/objectively wrong to characterize Character A in x way” = sloppy, reactionary, overcommitting. you have left our eastern flank open to attack girl what the hell….now my dedicated hater troops are taking fire from YOUR enemies fuckkkkk

[mythtakens]

“these characters should be mentally healthy before they get together 😌” ummm no I actually think we should smash their mental illnesses together like clumps of play-doh and see what colors it makes

[oldbutchdanielcraig]

hey guys if you’re planning on making a vaguepost on the dashboard can you message me with the details and some of the lore behind the vague post you’re making. a vaguepost for the dash and a detailedpost for me. because i like to know what’s going on. if you do this i will automatically take your side because you’ve done the right thing by letting me know what’s up. thanks in advance ❤️

[darlingofdots]

my parents are on holiday in their mobile home

they're expected back this upcoming weekend

I just spent ten days in my childhood home to keep an eye on things

I have hidden 100 small yellow ducks all over the house

I am very excited for my parents to be back

[jurisffiction]

if tumblr ever does die, it's easy. if we were mutuals and had spoken before, contact me through discord dm or any of the surviving empire routes (messenger, instagram, whatsapp, imessage). if those are down or you never got my details but you do know my government name and location, send a letter to the general post office of my capital city. if we weren't mutuals or you don't know those details, leave a note in the comments section of my least-played amv on youtube like they did with historical ledgers on the walls of stores in pompeii. if youtube is down, pull out any bad screenshots of my posts (or fabricate some) and make some noise on r/HobbyDrama. if reddit is down, create an rpf tag on ao3 for my online persona and write your message into the fabric of a story. if ao3 is down, the discussion page for the wikimedia file upload of the largest scan of Landscape with the Fall of Icarus. if wikimedia is down, forums.whirlpool.net.au. if the internet is down we have no further business with each other

[stickycircuits]

What would've happened if they completed the zodiac?

[stormygopher]

Wheeljack attempts cooking for his human friends. It goes about as well as you might expect.

Half of them don’t even know what banana bread is but they’re always down to roast Wheeljack

[chloesimaginationthings]

Michael Afton’s one joy in life is FNAF Foxy

[noodles-and-tea]

I love non verbal Dick's HC so much!

What do you think was the case at his first gala? Was he able to speak yet, or did he still rely on Bruce to communicate?

[angstyentropy]

Bruce: Who is that?

Dick: A kid I met in Bludhaven.

Jason: Oh god, not you too.

Damian, whispering: Are we sure Richard isn't my biological brother?

Tim, also whispering: Yes... Maybe?

Jason, joining the conversation: The adoption gene got transferred through osmosis

Bruce: Where did you get them?

Dick: I was on patrol and they wanted to show me some flips.

Bruce: So they're an acrobat?

Dick: Yeah!

Bruce: Alfred!

Dick: Huh?

Alfred: I shall reinforce all the chandeliers.

Dick: Wait that's not necessary!

Everyone else: ???

Dick: Seriously they're only staying with me a couple days.

Bruce: DAYS?! Alfred order the newest chandeliers.

Alfred: Right away, Master Bruce.

[melmarro]

Various yuris