#it’s hard to believe two months have passed since i last posted here

[drackolyte]

hiii

[wintrwinchestr]

an overture of indulgence (joel miller x f!reader oneshot) 18+

summary: it's been a long time since you've seen joel, and some things have changed, but a lot has stayed the same. namely, how quickly he can still get you on his knees for him, ready to show him exactly just how much you like what has changed about him.

warnings: 18+, smut, post-outbreak, jackson joel, d/s relationship dynamics, pet names (baby, babygirl, sweetheart, sweet girl, etc), body worship, belly kink, talk of weight gain, belly riding, m/f masturbation, lil bit of humiliation kink, lil bit of edging, reader is an adult but age otherwise unspecified, reader is shorter than joel and has hair long enough to grab, let me know if i missed anything :)

word count: 4.3k

a/n: just fuckin outing myself left and right these days huh. idk what came over me with this one. started this late last night and here it is now. belly enjoyers rise!!!!!!! nice comments/reblogs appreciated if you enjoyed <3 you can't kink shame me bc i like getting bullied so now what. also i avoided daddy kink for once in my life please clap. i know i’m spoiling y’all this weekend don’t get used to it.

divider by @saradika

“...Joel?!” you shout, your leisurely walking pace quickly turning into a hurried jog as you leave Tommy behind, making a beeline toward the man you would swear on your life is Joel Miller. A small handful of years ago now, he was kind of your boyfriend, kind of not, kind of something else more complicated and unlabeled, because who can afford to put a label on anything in times like these?

Joel’s head turns in your direction at the sound of his name, and as soon as you spot that crooked scar across the bridge of his nose, you’re certain it’s him.

“Holy shit, I can’t believe it,” you half-cry, throwing your weight into him as you wrap him in a tight embrace. He’s much taller than you, but you still managed to knock him off his balance a little. He envelops your whole body in one of his signature, all-encompassing hugs, and it’s like no time has passed at all.

The two of you had ended whatever it was you had on good terms, no hard feelings or animosity shared between you. It was just hard to maintain any kind of relationship in a world like this, and trying to nurture romance in the Boston QZ was much like trying to grow a rose garden in toxic, radioactive soil. You can put as much care and effort and something like love into it as you have in you, but the circumstances will just never allow it to reach its full potential. The end of your “relationship” was mutual, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt. Especially when he had disappeared one day without so much as saying goodbye.

When you had stumbled upon Tommy and a group of patrollers in the snowy forest outside Jackson just earlier today, you were alone, tired, and losing hope that this rumored safe haven even existed at all. You had heard crackles through the radio in the QZ about the community, and even though it sounded too good to be true, what else did you have to lose anymore? After months of travel and survival and pain and hunger, you’d never been so happy to meet a bunch of strangers in the woods in your whole life. You didn’t hesitate to get on the back of Tommy’s horse, and let him lead you to the sanctuary they spoke of.

As he was giving you a tour, proudly showing off their electricity, running water, fresh food, and clean houses, you had started to look forward to what the future may bring, for the first time in a long time. You could never have imagined you’d ever run into Joel again, that this is where he had ended up, of all places. And now here the both of you are, bodies pressed as tightly together as possible, breathing in each other’s familiar scents and never wanting to let go again.

Joel is the first to break the embrace, grasping your head in his large hands and frantically searching your face for any sign that he could be dreaming, that fate hasn’t really brought you back together again after all.

“Jesus Christ, it’s really you,” he breathes, and you swear his voice breaks just a little bit as he presses his lips to your forehead, closing his eyes as he does.

When he blinks them open again, he meets Tommy’s gaze, who’s standing quietly a few yards back from where you’re having your sentimental reunion. Tommy gives an understanding nod, and gestures that he’ll be waiting inside the community’s dining hall, gathering that whatever this is happening between his brother and some girl he only just met, he shouldn’t interrupt. Joel is grateful for many things today, one of them being the rekindled bond he has with Tommy, the other being how you somehow miraculously found your way back to him.

Small groups of other Jackson residents follow Tommy into the dining hall shortly afterward, and as the sun begins to set behind the mountains, Joel realizes it must be about time for dinner to be served.

He detaches his lips from your forehead, brushing some of your hair away from your face as he takes you in again. “You poor thing, must be starvin’ I bet,” he wonders aloud, giving you a sympathetic look.

“Kinda always am, just as a rule, but yeah,” you reply, trying to make light of your situation. Though, Joel doesn’t seem to find the humor in it the way you do.

“Long as you stay here, ain’t ever gotta worry about that again, that’s for damn sure.” He runs his tongue across his lips as he finishes his sentence, already knowing that whatever meal they’re serving tonight, it’ll be some of the most delicious food he’s had in a long time. He suspects you’ll feel much the same. “C’mon, let’s get you inside. Get you warm and fed for once in your life.”

–

Your heart, your stomach, your soul, all feel full as you relax into the comfortable couch in the living room of Joel’s cozy home. He wouldn’t even entertain the idea of you staying in an empty house all by yourself tonight, insisting that if you’d like some company while you settle in, you were more than welcome to his. He had let you spend as long as you wanted to in his shower, and he didn’t mind if there was hardly any warm water left by the time you were done. He sure as hell wasn’t paying the bill, and you deserved to feel truly clean. He can remember clear as day how he felt after his first Jackson shower, like he had stripped off a layer of grime he hadn’t been able to scrub all the way clean in twenty years. He had gone to Maria to get you some clothes and underwear while you were bathing, and set them silently on the sink counter for you to put on whenever you were done.

And now here you sit, feeling full and clean and satisfied and comfortable and safe, watching Joel stoke the logs in his fireplace as it casts the whole room in a honey orange glow. You take a moment to admire him while he isn’t looking, and even in the dim and flickering lighting, you can see he’s just as handsome as he was the last time you saw him. He looks older, with more gray in his longer hair and meat on his bones, the latter trait likely due to years worth of the hearty cooking you both indulged in tonight. He looks… good like this.

“It really is nice to see you again, you know. You look…” you start, not being able to help the way your eyes wander to his soft lower belly, the way it pushes taut against his tucked-in flannel shirt and just barely spills over the edge of his jeans.

He turns his head away from the fire to face you. You’re not very subtle in your staring, and he knows what you’re referring to right away. He huffs a light chuckle, trying to brush off the way he thinks you’re poking fun at him.

“I know, I know,” he acknowledges, placing a hand on his stomach. “Been tryin’ to get Maria to give me some more patrol shifts, see if I can get some of the weight off. But hey, you try havin’ three square meals a day for the first time in twenty some odd years, see what it does to you, huh?” He pivots his attention back to the fireplace, and he seems to turn his body further away from you on purpose, so that you can’t see the round profile of his tummy as much.

“No! No, it, um… It suits you. I was gonna say you look good, actually.” You’re quick in your reply, trying to make it clear that you didn’t mean to offend him, without letting too much on. 

He scoffs. “C’mon, you don’t gotta flatter me, sweetheart. I know I don’t exactly look the way you remember–”

“Joel, will you stop?” you interrupt, your voice laced with exasperation. “I’m being serious. Do I look like I’m making fun of you?”

He cranes his neck to look back at where you’re perched on the couch, and gives you a once over. “Guess not… Look a lil’ like somethin’ else, though, if I'm bein’ honest,” he says with a teasing smirk. And there he is again, the same quick-witted Joel you remember from back in the QZ.

You choose to engage in his banter, just to see where he’s going with it. “Oh yeah? And what’s that?”

He shrugs, beginning to mindlessly poke at the firewood again. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you look like you might like it.”

He’s just kidding around with you, trying to rile you up, you’re sure. But when he gets silence in return instead of the sound of you jumping to defend yourself with another playful jab, he turns to face you once more, and is met with your stunned expression. 

“Oh…” Joel looks down at himself, then back to you again, just in time to catch your eyes flitting from his middle back up to his face. “What, you like ‘em big, sweetheart? ‘S that it?”

The truth is, you do, you always have. It was never a requirement, of course, as the guys you’d been with before Joel all had varying body types. But you’d be lying to yourself if you said that your eyes didn’t linger just a bit longer on guys with a little more to them, with wider arms and thicker legs and a softer middle. You’ve never admitted your preference to anyone before, and Joel calling you out on it now has your face running hot, skin feeling prickly as he sees through you like you’re made of glass.

“I-I don’t– I mean, I do, kinda, but not like that… Well, it is like that, I just mean–” You stumble over yourself, fearing you’ve revealed too much, wishing you could rewind the conversation and just tell him it was nice to see him again, plain and simple.

Joel lays the fire poker down on the granite ledge of the fireplace, approaching where you’re sitting and cupping the side of your face with his calloused hand. 

“Sh, sh, stop, baby. ‘S alright if you do, nothin’ to be ashamed of,” he comforts, and it takes all the willpower you have left not to let your eyes drift down to his stomach, so close you could kiss it, if he’d let you.

“It’s just… I missed you. I thought about you all the time, wondered what ever happened to you after you left. Didn’t even know if you were alive until today. I’m just happy to see you… doing so well. To see that you’re healthy, and everything.” You swallow hard, hoping you sound convincing enough that he’ll let this go, forget all about your little admission just now. But of course, Joel is as stubborn as he’s ever been, and he doesn’t plan on releasing you from his trap now that you’re ensnared in it. 

“That’s sweet, baby, ‘s real sweet,” Joel says, softly, stroking his thumb across your cheekbone as he speaks. “Thought about you too, all this time. Practically every day…” He rakes his eyes over you, noticing the way his touch has you starting to melt already, how you’re looking up at him with your wide, needy eyes. “Why don’t you show me just how much you missed me, hm? How much you love seein’ me healthy, as you put it.”

You’re stunned into silence once again, jaw slack and pupils wide as you search his gaze for proof that he’s just messing with you, making fun of you just to watch you squirm. But you don’t find any.

“O-okay,” you agree in a half-whisper.

Joel smiles down at you, satisfied. “All these years later, still just the sweetest thing, ain’t you? You still just as obedient, too?”

You nod without even thinking, words catching up with your instinctual response a second later. “Mhm, yeah, I am…” You had forgotten how easy it is to submit to him, how good it feels to let the hypnotizing tone of his voice carry you somewhere far away from yourself, when you need it the most. Whether it was after a shitty day of working for shittier rations in the QZ, or after a harsh trek in harsher weather to a forested oasis, Joel always knows how to make you feel like submission is your most natural state. 

“Good… Kneel for me please, sweetheart,” he commands, and you obey immediately, his hand slipping from your face as you slide from the couch onto the woven carpet beneath you. Like second nature, your hands automatically fold themselves on your lap, remembering how you were never to touch Joel until he permitted you to. He takes note of this, and praises you accordingly. “Look at that, didn’t even have to ask. Such a good girl.”

He’s so enamored with you, he almost forgets where he was going with this until he watches your eyes flash to the growing bulge in his jeans, then back up to him. “Not tonight, sweetheart. Was thinkin’ you could put that pretty mouth to use on somethin’ different this time, hm?”

You knit your brows together, not sure what he means, but he doesn’t let you wonder for long. Slowly, he starts to unbutton his flannel shirt, starting at the top and working his way down. He tosses it onto the ground, then pulls his undershirt off over his head, adding it to the other discarded clothing. Without the confines of his slightly-too-tight button-up, you can see how much he really has filled out. Everything about his upper body is just a little more plush, with petal pink stretch marks adorning the soft skin in various places. You want to make it your personal mission to kiss each and every one of them, commit their exact coordinates on his body to memory.

There's a deep scar, you notice, to the left of his belly button, that has almost successfully disguised itself as one of those pretty marks. It’s definitely new since you saw him last, and it looks like it hurt, especially with the evidence of how crudely it had been stitched back together.

“What happened?” you wonder aloud, worried eyes glued to the healed injury.

He has to peer over the curve of his belly to see what you’re looking at. “Long story. Happened on my way out here, after I left Boston. Nothin’ for you to worry about, sweet girl, hardly even hurt. Forget it’s even there, most of the time,” he answers, still with a dominant edge to his voice that does a mostly good job of convincing you it’s the truth.

“Can… Can I?” you ask, waiting to receive his permission before you move your hands from your lap. 

“Yeah, baby, go ahead,” Joel allows. 

You reach out a small hand to gently trace over the raised scar, then press your lips to it with your hands splayed out on either side of your head, just barely pressing into his belly. He releases a soft groan, cradling the back of your head with one of his hands, applying the lightest amount of pressure to let you know this is where he wants to keep you. 

“Why don’t you keep goin’, sweetheart? Gimme some more lovin’ like that, know you wanna,” he encourages, and you think you get the idea now, what it is he wanted to put your pretty mouth to use for.

With his explicit permission to continue, you don’t need telling twice. You move your face to hover just in front of his belly button, admiring the dense salt and pepper happy trail that sprouts from where his jeans push into his soft skin. You drag your tongue along the hair, nipping at the soft curve of where it disappears into the divot in his stomach. He makes a noise in response, half pained and half pleasured, but he doesn’t stop you. Just for good measure, you place a kiss to the little blushing mark where your teeth had scraped him.

Almost of their own volition, it seems, your hands begin to knead at his stomach as you make good on your promise to yourself to kiss every single one of his stretch marks. You allow your tongue to dart from your mouth on the last one, and Joel sucks in a breath.

“Oh, fuck. Forgot how good that wet lil’ mouth feels on me, sweetheart. Keep goin’,” he says, voice coming out strained. His fingers curl tightly into your hair, and he begins to maneuver your face around his belly. You lave your tongue over his skin as he does, slicking him with wet, sloppy kisses. “Yeah, baby, you fuckin’ worship it, show me how much you like me like this.”

It’s a little humiliating, but just enough that you like the feeling. You’re breathing hard and fast, letting out little whimpers as your fluttering cunt begins to soak your underwear. He brings your face to a stop at the most tantalizing part of him, the part that truly evidences how much more he’s allowed himself to indulge since settling in Jackson. The ample curve of flesh that just barely conceals the waistband of his jeans, the part you’ve wanted to get your mouth on since you first saw how it strained the lower buttons of his shirt. You latch onto it, massaging the skin around it as you use your teeth and tongue to suck a mark into him.

A growl rumbles from deep in his chest, and he curses under his breath. “Like it that much, huh? Fuck, naughty thing, look at you.”

You’re so fucking turned on, you’re shivering, rocking where you kneel and squeezing your thighs together in an attempt to get some kind of relief. You let one of your hands drift to the hard shape in Joel’s jeans, and it seems he’s enjoying this as much as you are. He spots your pathetic little squirms as you rut against nothing, and then he’s using his grip on your hair to pull you up from the floor.

“Got an idea. Up,” he commands roughly, and you detach your lips from his belly to obey his order. “Get these off, there we go.” He pulls down your sweatpants and underwear, helping you step out of them. “Christ, you’re soaked,” Joel teases, eyeing the sizable wet spot in your panties as he tosses them aside to join the other forgotten clothing. He reaches a hand toward the apex of your thighs, teasing your wet pussy and gathering some of your slick on two of his fingers. You let out a tiny yelp, but let him play with you, and then he’s bringing his fingers in front of his face and examining the sticky strings of your arousal when he spreads them apart. “All this just from lettin’ you worship all this, huh?” he taunts, patting his stomach once for emphasis. “Who’d’ve thought? Not that I’m complainin’...”

He quickly rids himself of his jeans and briefs, then reclines onto the couch with a quiet groan, stretching out his body along the length of it. Your mouth waters at the sight of his cock, hard and leaking as it bobs against his belly, his precum adding to the dampness still there from your tongue. “Come sit, sweetheart,” Joel says, softly, motioning with both of his hands for you to come closer.

You grip a hand onto the backrest of the couch to balance yourself while you move to straddle him, prepared to sink down onto his length for the first time in way too fucking long. “Uh uh, not there, baby,” he instructs, smirking when he sees how you hesitate in confusion. “Take a seat right here for me.” Again, he pats that most tempting area of his lower belly, and you just about fall apart at the sight of how his flesh ripples in the wake of it.

“Yeah, there you go, good girl,” he praises, both hands gripping your waist as he helps you settle your weight onto his soft abdomen.

“I dunno, don’t wanna hurt you–” you start, but he cuts you off swiftly.

“You won’t, baby. I’m a big man, ain’t I?” he teases, flashing you a devilish and knowing smile. “Go on, sweetheart, ride it.”

You inhale a shuddering breath, then place both of your hands on his shoulders to hold yourself up. You start an experimental buck into his belly, and that trail of dark hair tickles your clit so perfectly. It takes a few tries for you to get the positioning and pressure just right, and then you’re truly riding him, using his full stomach to get yourself off while he watches. 

“God, that’s good. Use it, baby. You love me bigger, love that I’ve been eatin’ so good, prove it to me, c’mon,” Joel goads, and it spurs you on to grind against him harder, faster, as incoherent mumbles and curses tumble from your lips.

“Love it, Joel, you look so good, fuck. So fucking–mmh–so big, makes me so… so–”

“I know it does, sweet girl, I know. Makes you fuckin’ soaked is what it does, god damn. You gonna get my belly all messy, hm? Gonna rub your lil’ cunt all over it, get me all fuckin’ wet?”

“Uh huh, yeah, gonna… I’m gonna–” you whine, eyes shutting tight as your hips pick up their pace. You move your hands from his shoulders to place them on his stomach instead, grabbing at handfuls of his tummy in an effort to create something more solid to rub yourself against. 

You’re already embarrassingly close, the humiliating edge to your earlier worship having gotten you most of the way there on its own. So swollen and sensitive it almost hurts, you won’t need much more to reach your high.

“Not without me, you ain’t. Gonna be right there with ya. You remember how we used to do it?” Joel asks, as if you could ever forget. He’s referring to your many late nights, early mornings, in his bed or in a back alley or wherever in the QZ, where he liked to make sure you both finished at the same time. You’d always be the first one to reach the edge, because he’d focus all his attention on getting you there before him, just to make you wait. It was never something punishing, just something he liked to do as an extra bit of control and dominance, and he knew it always made your orgasms that much more powerful and satisfying when he would finally permit you to let go.

With your eyes closed, so focused on your own pleasure, you hadn’t noticed that he had reached behind you to start fisting his cock some time ago. But you can hear it now, the wet schlick of his hand moving up and down his shaft as he works himself. “Hold it for me, sweetheart, I know you can. Keep rubbin’ your pretty pussy against me, jus’ like that, almost there…”

You mewl, screwing your face up as you force yourself to slow down your thrusts, muscles tense as you try to keep your orgasm at bay for as long as you can. 

Thankfully, he must be worked up enough from seeing you fall apart for him so easily for the first time in so long, that his permission comes just a few minutes later.

“Come for me, babygirl, soak my fuckin’ belly, c’mon,” Joel growls, and you fall forward immediately, twitching and spasming and crying out into the soft muscle of his shoulder as you ride out the shuddering shocks of your orgasm. He groans next to your ear as he comes, and you can feel the warm ropes of his own release as some of them land on your lower back. You’re both wet, heaving messes, as you embrace each other for the second time today and work on catching your breath.

So exhausted from the day you had, you must’ve fallen asleep against his chest as you laid there, because then you’re being woken up by the dull scratch of his fingertips against your scalp and his familiar voice working its way through the thick fog that clouds your tired brain. 

“You alright, baby?” he asks, and you can hear that he’s smiling, amused at this sleepy little thing he’s got clinging to him.

“Mhm, jus’ tired,” you answer, a barely-there mumble of a sentence.

“I’ll bet… You wanna get cleaned up? Get all tucked into bed?”

You shake your head against his neck, and he chuckles.

“No? Whatcha wanna do then, hm?”

“Jus’ lay here. Missed you. Don’t wanna let… go…” 

Your sentence drifts off into silence before the temptation of sleep allows you to finish it, but Joel gets the idea. He smiles to himself, kissing the top of your head, and hugs you closer. Both of you are still sticky and damp, but satisfied. And together again. And that’s a hell of a lot better than the alternative.

So he agrees, and you stay like that for the rest of the night. Joel doesn’t worry about whether or not he remembered to set his alarm clock for his extra patrol shift the next morning, or if he’ll even hear it all the way from his bedroom upstairs, because it doesn’t matter anyway. He has you, and you made it very clear tonight just how much you like him exactly the way he is. 

Maybe, your rose garden can finally begin to bloom, now that the pair of you have somewhere safe and comfortable and healthy to try your hand at nurturing it again.

tag list: @beefrobeefcal @iamasaddie @rebel-held @dilfgestivo @zliteraturehoe @joeldjarin @kamcrazy123 @hellowoolf @rexamongthestars @stevie75 @luxurychristmaspudding @noisynightmarepoetry @mewantpeepaw @pedritoferg (if your name is crossed out, it won’t let me tag you!!)

[nnon0]

JJH fic recs

other fic rec posts : 1.(active post) 2.

been getting a little hard trying to find long fics to read these days but here are some that i complied in the last month or so :)

(🫀) -personal faves

all these years @domjaehyun

WC: 34.1k

fluff, smut, angst; childhood friends-to-lovers!au, college!au, neighbors!au

Just friends @lonelyharmonies

WC: 22k

Strangers-to-friends- to-lovers!au , college au

what happens when you wake up in someone else’s bed after getting drunk in a party?

(🫀) Only @ppangjae

WC: 21.6k

almost!lovers au

You like to believe crossing paths with Jaehyun after graduation is just pure coincidence. He always comes and goes. But what if he decides to stay? To stick around? To give what was an ‘almost’ a chance?

Romeo roulette @wincore

WC:21.1k

soulmate au, office au, fake dating

if finding your soulmate is the same as a damn game of Russian roulette, you are determined to not pull the trigger at all. except, you know who your soulmate is and he doesn’t—and given a choice to pretend, you find that jaehyun is the lesser of the two burdens to bear.

he fell first and he fell harder @taurusdaylight

WC: 18.7k

Basketball captain!jaehyun, childhood-friends-to-lovers

jeong jaehyun really loves basketball. but also, he’s terribly in love with his childhood best friend of seventeen years, you.

(🫀) all i wanted @yutaholic

WC: 17k

heartbreakers, smut

A year has passed since you last saw your best friend, Jaehyun, but the man who returns is not the boy you once knew and loved. Jaehyun will barely speak to you and you don’t know why, but you both may be exactly what the other needs to mend your broken hearts.

(🫀)The Apple of My Eye @sehunniepotwrites

WC: 17k

school! au , teacher!au , Kindergarten teacher!jaehyun

As a young and handsome kindergarten teacher of two years, Jeong Jaehyun was used to receiving presents during Teacher’s Appreciation Week. This, however, was the first year Jaehyun wanted to give a present of appreciation to someone else—his new and ever-so-lovable teacher’s assistant.

(🫀)song for a little sparrow @ppangjae

WC:13.7k

poet!jaehyun x painter!reader , strangers-to-lovers

As a burnt out painter, you packed one suitcase and flew a one-way trip to Paris in hopes of finding your passion again. In the city of love, the last thing you expected was to bump into a man who doesn’t believe in love. But you do, and you find yourself showing him the wonders of love and falling in love. Just don’t fall in love with him.

I like me better (when i’m with you) @tyonfs

WC:11.8k

friends to enemies to lovers, sports au , smut

there was no one else on the planet that made your blood boil like jeong jaehyun did. you never thought your feelings toward him were anything past pure hatred, but when you were lost in the feeling of his lips on yours and his hands on your body, you couldn’t help but think that maybe a part of you didn’t completely hate his guts. 

Someone to Bring Home @rouiyan

WC: 10.2k

Med student!jaehyun, College au, Brothers best friend , home for thanksgiving

synopsis — “if you’ve been waiting for fallin’ in love, babe, you don’t have to wait on me.” (sanctuary - joji)

Boyfriend material @mochidoie

WC: 6.2k

fake dating au, strangers-to-lovers , slight angst

Although you and Jaehyun had never spoken a word to each other before this class project, he asks you to be in a fake relationship in order to prove to his longtime crush that he is boyfriend material.

Back up Valentine @tyonfs

WC: 2.9k

Spiderman!jaehyun

you don’t have any unrealistic expectations for valentine’s day considering your love life has never flourished, but the least your best friend could’ve done was not summon an intergalactic army of an alien species during your first blind date ever.

SERIES

S.C.S; ayakashi @starlightkun

WC:66.2k

heavily based off yet another otome game, ayakashi: romance reborn ; bc of this, all the lore used in here is inspired by/based on/taken from the lore of the game, not the actual lore of traditional ayakashi/yokai stories

[thebirdandthebee]

Act Accordingly

Dipping my toes into the Rooster pool here. Using the jealousy prompt “I don’t like them all looking at you.” No real smut, but allusions to it. Thanks for all the love on Aw Honey Honey! If you like this one, don’t keep it to yourself :)

Title: Act Accordingly Rooster just wants you to act accordingly. WC: 3596

There were few things more relaxing than knowing your classes were done for the week, homework all taken care of, and not a single worry in the world for the next three days.

Your situationship was hosting a barbecue on the beach and he’d asked you to come and help set up a few things behind his friend’s bar, which had direct access to the sand.

Tossing on your favorite bikini and a pair of denim cutoffs, you threw a change of clothes amongst other essentials in a tote and head off toward the bar. You’d been hooking up with Bradley Bradshaw on and off for about eight months – sure, it sounded like a long time, but sometimes he’d disappear for two or three weeks at a time, and you’d get caught up in classes for nursing school as well.

Besides, you didn’t mind, he was an incredible lay and seemingly wasn’t looking for anything serious, so you went along with it – no matter how many times you wished your cut-short mornings could have dragged out a bit longer. You also thought it was kind of cool he flew planes for the Navy and didn’t seem to care when you’d pepper him with questions. He actually seemed pretty happy to answer your questions – but that might have just been the post-orgasm haze.

You’d been to this bar before – Bradley’s Uncle’s girlfriend (?) owned it and you’d met in passing once before. She seemed cool and would sometimes comp your bill, so they were good in your book.

“Hey!” Bradley waved you down from the back deck of the bar. He jogged over and you let your gaze rake down his shirtless body.

“I see you decided to skip sunblock again,” you commented, tilting your sunglasses down to the tip of your nose to take in his rosy skin.

“Not on purpose,” he rubbed the back of his neck, taking your tote from your shoulder and opening it up to grab the spray bottle he knew was in there. “Tits look great,” he commented, eyes darting up to your crocheted bikini top. There was a thin layer of nude fabric beneath the knitting to preserve some decency.

“Likewise,” you grinned, reaching up to tweak one of his nipples. “Now what can I help with?” You asked, looking over at a few empty folding tables next to an equally empty grill.

“Table clothes, plates, napkins, all that shit,” he listed off. “Pen and Mav are bringing food out, but I picked up some fruit and veggie trays, too.”

“Put me to work,” you smiled, sliding your sunglasses back up your nose.

“Wait a minute,” he tugged your wrist as you attempted to broach the table. You found yourself pressed tightly up against Bradley’s front, his hands lodged deep into the back pockets of your denim shorts. “No kiss for Daddy?” He grinned, that dumb, hot mustache stretching across his lips. “Can’t believe you just called yourself Daddy out here in the open where Penny and Jesus can hear you,” you scolded, a laugh ripping from your throat as he squeezed your ass hard.

“Okay, break it up,” you jumped away from Bradley as his Uncle stepped out onto the deck with two big rolls of vinyl in his arms.

“Good to see ya, Pete,” you greeted, running a hand through your hair. “I see you haven’t trained this one up at all since I last saw you.”

“Unfortunately some things are just inherent,” he shrugged but smiled anyway. “Mind helping me with this table cover while we have wonder boy go grab some propane?” He asked, tossing Bradley a look. The younger of the two men shook his head before disappearing into the back of the bar through the sliding door.

“So, you meeting a bunch of Bradley’s friends?” Pete asked, in a way that you were sure he thought was casual.

“I guess,” you smiled, “see ‘em from time to time here and there,” you added. “It’s all casual, Pete,” you added. The older man look contemplative but smiled nonetheless. All it took was half a roll of duct tape to get the table covers to stay down before you could start piling on plates, cutlery and big metal buckets filled with ice for drinks.

You were rubbing down Bradley’s shoulders with sunblock when the first wave of people started arriving.

“I’m gonna go plant myself,” you said, jabbing your thumb over you shoulder. Penny had set up a few beach umbrellas about halfway down the sand and you could feel your towel calling your name.

Bradley nodded and you could feel his hand skim your waist with a ghostly touch as you turned to walk away. Grabbing a White Claw, you headed down the sand, oblivious to the conversations taking place on the back patio.

“Who is that?” Coyote asked, eyes narrowing in on your figure. He, Rooster and Fanboy all paused in admiration as you peeled your denim shorts down your legs, stretching slightly before laying out across your towel.

“She looks…” Fanboy licked his lips, “smart.”

“That one’s mine,” Rooster said with definition.

“Your girlfriend?” Fanboy asked his brows creeping up.

“Well, no, I mean – we’ve been… seeing each other – like unofficially, we’ve been – ” He stammered out.

“What you haven’t planted your flag?” Coyote grinned wolfishly.

“I’ve planted my flag,” Rooster cut sharply, eyes narrowing.

“Sure doesn’t sound like it, Rooster,” Fanboy laughed. “Which means… fair game.” All three men returned their eyes to the beach, where you were rolling over on your towel, breasts pressed closed together and fighting against the seams of your top.

“Hey fellas, what do you want to eat?” Pete said, once again breaking up the conversation as he held up a big tray of burgers and chicken.

Down on the beach, you were trying your best to wiggle into grooves that didn’t tweak your back after standing for clinicals all week. Settling with your hands folded behind your head, taking the full brunt of the sun’s rays, it was a matter of minutes until a shadow cast over you.

“Couple of us are going to play some volleyball,” Bradley was blocking the sun from shining directly in your face. “Want to join?” He offered.

“Deal me into the second game,” you said, “the sun feels so good,” you sighed. “I want to soak it up a little bit,” you insisted. Bradley nodded, his eyes, covered by his sunglasses, trailing down your form. He knew what your skin tasted like, but imagined it sweeter in the hot weather, causing saliva to pool in his mouth.

“I’ll hold you to that,” he insisted.

“Give me a holler when you’re losing,” you smirked. He didn’t know, after all, that you played DI in college. He balled up his Hawaiian shirt, tossing it over to land on your half-empty beach bag.

The game started up as more and more of Bradley’s friend filtered in, joining him only about forty feet away from your little camp site. As the sun passed peak in the sky, it was getting a little more bearable out. You couldn’t help but notice Bradley’s friends were overwhelmingly male and were, as expected, a little disappointed.

“Couldn’t help yourself?” Bradley asked as you approached. His skin was covered in a layer of sweat and you were sure his sunblock was already long gone.

“Just let me serve, Bradshaw,” you said, plucking the ball from his hands. Traipsing to the back corner of the court, you rocked back on your heel, delivering a devastating serve to the other side of the net. The other team didn’t have a prayer.

“It’s not fair! Rooster’s friend is a ringer!” A chiseled blonde called from the other team.

“It’s good to meet Bradley’s friend,” you looked over to see a hand extended to you. “Fanboy,” he introduced.

“Right,” you nodded, introducing yourself, “I forget about the code names,” you smiled, shaking his hand.

“Call signs,” another man with a lantern jaw and dark eyes interjected. “Coyote,” he added.

“Okay, okay, are we playing a game here?” Bradley asked, trying his best to keep a petulant scowl off of his face.

“Hey, we want to trade!” The only other woman in the group called out, “we’ll hand over Bob for Misty Mae-Treanor,” she added, making you laugh.

“Deal!” You called, jogging over to duck under the net.

“I’m Nat,” the woman introduced, “Bradley’s told us a lot about you,” she added. You blamed your blush on the sun. “This is Bagman,” she nodded to the blonde.

“Jake,” he cut in, “and Bradley’s told me nothing about you,” he grinned. You recognized this man from a few of Bradley’s post-work stories.

“Hangman, right?” You asked with a tilt of your head. His grin only widened.

Bradley was no better than any other man and it took every ounce of willpower within him to focus on the game as you countered him on the other side of the net. He wondered how strong that bikini top was, where your tan lines stopped and if you still had that little bruise just on the edge of your nipple where he’d bit you just a little too hard last week. It was okay - he made it up to you.

And God, you were really good at volleyball.

“Just take the L, Rooster!” Natasha, who you’d come to learn was called Phoenix, called out.

“Who’s hungry?” Pete called from up the beach. “Burgers are done!”

“Starving,” you said, jogging over to your towel, stepping into your denim shorts, shimmying to get them over the round of your ass.

“She’s single, right?” Phoenix asked.

“Who cares?” Hangman laughed, dutifully trailing after you as you walked alongside Bradley up the sand.

“How did you get invited to this again?” Bradley asked Jake, making your eyes go wide.

“Bradley!” You scolded, bumping shoulders with Jake, “that’s not very nice.”

“Yeah, that’s not very nice, Bradley,” Jake taunted. “Where you been hiding this one, huh? Afraid she’ll show you up at everything else you do?” He asked.

“Oh, yes, I remember you now,” you grinned. “Dagger Spare, right?” Jake slapped a hand over his chest, causing Bradley to shout out a honking laugh. Bradley was impressed by your memory, he wasn’t sure how much you were really retaining as most of your conversations took place on the periphery of sleep.

You’d all settled around a few tables, burgers, fries and all sorts of other snacks abound. You squeezed between Bradley and Natasha, who was more than happy to let you dip your carrot sticks into her too-big pool of veggie dip. You liked Natasha, she could hold her own amongst the group of knuckleheads and had already complimented your manicure.

You were listening to Fanboy and Coyote going back and forth on some sort of training story when you dropped a cold, white glob of ranch on your chest.

“Whoops,” you murmured, swiping your finger down across the swell of your breast before popping it in your mouth – not noticing that the conversation had come to a complete standstill. You also hadn’t noticed that your nipples had hardened in your top, rendering Coyote completely useless.

“SO,” Phoenix said loudly. “I’m grabbing more drinks from inside, who wants to help?” She asked.

“I’ll help,” you volunteered, pushing your seat back, but with how tightly the chairs were crammed together, there was no easy way to get out. Grabbing the armrest of Bradley’s chair, you hopped over his seat, planting your bare feet on the wood deck. “Taking your shoes,” you tossed over your shoulder, sliding your feet into one of the many pair of brown leather sandals lined up by the sliding door.

Unbeknownst to you, you’d grabbed Coyote’s sandals, but there was no way you could’ve known.

“Big feet!” You called, following Natasha inside. All eyes cut to Rooster when you and Phoenix had disappeared.

“Stop looking!” He said, frustrated.

“What am I supposed to pluck my eyes out?” Coyote asked, gesturing wildly, “they looked at me first!” Hangman shook his head with silent laughter. Bradley really wanted to laugh, too, and he probably would have if it was anyone else that brought their girl around – because that’s what he was trying to do – make you his girl. And he certainly didn’t like all the attention you were drawing from everyone else.

“I mean it, stop flirting with my girl,” he said pointedly, his attention snapping over to Hangman who simply shrugged with a flick of his toothpick.

“I’ll stop flirting,” Hangman drawled, “when she says she’s your girl.”

Bradley blanched. Sure, he was crazy about you, but you’d agreed on casual – even when his feelings developed into something deeper.

He loved ending up at your place after weeks away – laying around your living room, sharing boxes of takeout as he helped you study for the NCLEX. He’d been your patient, sitting for cast wrappings and vital tests, and he knew the exact location of your birthmark, right inside of your thigh. He liked to think of it as the doorbell to get to exactly where he’d like to go.

“Fine,” he rolled his shoulders, taking a bite of his dinner. He only settled when you and Phoenix returned with fresh drinks – holding your hand for balance as you maneuvered your way back into your seat.

“So,” Fanboy grinned, “how long have you two known each other?” He asked.

“Like biblically?” You replied, making Natasha cough on her drink. Rooster’s blush burned bright on his scarred cheek. “Hmm, I think eight months?” You asked, folding your sunglasses into the pocket of his shirt.

“Sounds right,” Bradley nodded.

“And how long have you –”

“Fanboy, you ever get those mystery stains out of the common room futon?” Natasha interjected. Fanboy paled and took a sip of his drink.

“So who here can tell me the coolest flight story?” You asked, “I’ve heard all of Bradley’s a hundred times and I want to hear something new.” You gave your friend a little grin.

“Look no further,” Jake replied, launching into a list of his own accomplishments.

The next time you excused yourself to head inside and use the restroom, you were cornered by Bradley in the back hall.

“Hi,” you said with surprise, having just tied your hair up into a loose bun atop your head. To Bradley, your neck never looked more kissable.

“Put this on,” he said, holding open his button-up shirt.

“Why?” You asked, sliding your arms through the short sleeves anyway.

“Because I’m not trying to pop a chubby in front of my friends,” he said as if it was obvious. “Where’d you find this swimsuit anyway?” You laughed, but clocked the look in his eyes nonetheless.

“Why are you so bothered?” You asked, leaning back against the wall, shirt unbuttoned.

“I don’t like them all looking at you,” he said, pressing you up against the wall hips-first.

“You don’t like them looking at me?” You asked with a small smile, “then maybe you shouldn’t have invited me to your party,” you added.

“Let me be clear,” he pushed his body into yours with more intent. “I don’t like them looking at you like you’re up for grabs,” there was a darker tone to his words and he chose them very carefully.

“And who do I belong to, Bradley?” You asked, looking up at him through those thick lashes with a glint that made sweat bead at the base of his spine. It was usually a look he only saw before you swallowed his cock whole.

“You’re mine,” he tucked a piece of hair back behind your ear, “and it’s about time we both start acting accordingly.”

“What happened to casual?” You asked, reaching up to tuck your thumb into the cleft of his chin, focusing his attention solely on you. “I haven’t wanted casual with you since the day I memorized thirty gastrointestinal disease flashcards with you,” he said honestly.

“That’s what did it for you, huh?” You grinned, “all that talk of stomach ulcers got you hard for me?”

“Actually I think it was after you passed your test the next day and I bent you over the patio railing,” he recalled, “Yeah, I think that’s what did it for me.”

“Should’ve said something you big lug,” you chastised.

“I should have,” he nodded, hands on your waist, thumbs swiping across you ribcage. “I knew for a while but it took my friends eyeing up these titties like they were the cure before it drove me a little nuts.” He mumbled, making you giggle.

“Maybe they are the cure,” you shrugged, “you think I wore this by accident?”

“The cure is between your thighs, and I need to be saved,” he said, ducking down to kiss you firmly. “Can we please get the fuck out of here?”

“Ditch your own party?” You asked, smiling nonetheless. “Kinda tacky.”

“Says the girl in the Hawaiian shirt,” he countered.

“Touché,” you nodded. “Tell them we’re out and I’ll meet you at the car?” You offered.

“Actually,” Bradley sucked in a breath, “I need you to tell them we’re out,” he recalled Hangman’s comment. You rocked forward, pressing your lips to his once more.

“Okay fine, but when we get back to my place - I get to be pillow princess,” you said pointedly.

“Wouldn’t have it any other way,” he grinned, and you couldn’t resist that stupid mustache, kissing him again. You pulled Bradley by the hand across the bar to the back door again, where Pete and Penny had decided to join the group as the sun went down.

“Sorry to say, it’s time for us to leave,” you announced, sliding your feet back into your own shoes. “But Bradley just recently found his ball sack and we’re together now – so we’ve got business to attend to.” Bradley narrowly escaped the shower of crudité that came flying his way and he parade-waved his way off the patio. “Penny, please bill Bradley for a cleanup!” you called, just before he could sweep an arm under your knees, lifting you from the ground. “He’s actually quite a good cleaner!”

You laughed as he deposited you right into the passenger seat of the Bronco.

“How was that?” You asked, “definitive enough for your friends?”

“Pretty good,” he nodded, bracing his arms against the top of the car, leaning into your personal space. “Better than what I had planned.”

“And what were your big declarations going to be?” You asked.

“Sorry to eat and run – but I gotta run and eat,” he growled, pressing his lips against yours in a hot kiss.

Your scream of laughter carried across the breeze to the back patio, where Pete had just clinked his beer bottle against Fanboy’s.

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed Aw Honey Honey, you might also like Mighty Fine! This work is 18+

[aliceintheworld]

PURE ATTRACTION | JJK | TATTOO ARTIST

Pairing: TattooArtistJungkook X NaiveReader

Summary: " I shouldn’t be watching a man undressing, especially not from the house next door."

Warning: Fluff, kiss, impure thoughts, conversation about sex, masturbation, doubts and more doubts.

A/N: Here I am. As a thank you for all the wonderful comments, I will post two chapters today. (To be honest, I already have some stories in mind, but I want to finish Pure Attraction first, so I need to do it a little bit faster.) Keep interacting and voting. Don't forget: VOTE! It brings engagement and more motivation for the author!

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Chapter 8

I wave to my mother inside the car, as she reverses in front of our house and leaves, driving down the street of our neighborhood. Eunji works at a medium-sized company and travels a lot for a few months of the year, when she needs to present a new project. It's not new to me. I am used to being alone for some days; what makes me think, however, is Jungkook. I look at my neighbors' house out of inertia, seeing him at the living room window, reading some book. He notices me, opens a mischievous little smile, and waves, winking. My cheeks burn with his attention, and before I can embarrassed myself, in any way, I close the door and quickly step inside.

I still can't believe what happened last night. It feels like an unreal dream. If I didn't have marks and hickeys on my neck and breasts, I would have accepted that it was all a figment of my imagination and that Jungkook and I didn't end up together. I feel scared because I don't regret it and want it to happen again. I don't know where I'm getting myself into, and each time we meet, I sink deeper and deeper into this situation. I feel apprehensive because what I feel for him, I've never felt for anyone else. His kiss when he said goodbye, his dark and big eyes on mine... Just remembering it makes me shiver.

I start to organize myself because I need to take a look at the thrift store. It's been a while since I last went there, and I don't know how is doing. My day goes by quickly, and I return a bit earlier than expected because the movement wasn't very good. I attended to three customers, and only two of them bought something. I climb the stairs at home, tired and hungry, my stomach growling because I didn't even have lunch. I throw myself on the bed and close my eyes, not caring about the heavy clothes I'm wearing. I could sleep even in a costume, that nothing would disturb my sleep. I take off my sneakers with my feet and sigh, relieved to be home.

A few minutes pass when I feel fingers on my thigh, lifting my denim skirt towards my intimacy. I jump up, startled, when I see Jungkook on his knees on my mattress, his face close to mine. He laughs, noticing my surprise, doesn't say a word, and simply kisses me, brushing his lips against mine. I savor his taste in my mouth, silently asking him to deepen the caress and use his tongue with mine; however he pulls away, gives me a peck and another, before standing up completely.

"I could call the police." I joke, brushing the short hair from his face. The haircut is not much different from the previous one, but it makes him look more handsome, if that's even possible.

"I do everything with consent." He mocks, lying down beside me.

"I didn't give you any consent to come into my room. How did you get in?"

"The open window was very inviting. I couldn't resist." He shrugs, smiling.

"Why did you come here?" I raise my head, focused on his rosy lip when he pouts.

"I came to get you." Jungkook says, stretching on the bed. He lifts my right leg, caressing my skin. "And that's not a request."

"I don't even know where you want to take me." I comment, swallowing hard. I laugh a little, feeling the tickles from the tips of his fingers. "And I'm tired. I worked at my mother's store and at the library. And today is Tuesday. I'm dead."

"Your mother went traveling, didn't she? Enjoy it while she's not home."

"How do you know she traveled?" I raise an eyebrow, curious.

"She told my mom some time ago." He shrugs, as if it's simple.

"She only told me last night." I growl, irritated. My mother always does this, telling me her plans always at the last minute.

"I thought you knew. That's why I came here. When the king is in the castle, one cannot court the Princess. Everyone knows that."

"In this case, I would be the Princess?" I laugh, finding it funny.

"Yes. You are definitely Rapunzel. Have you noticed that your life is literally living in a tower?"

"I'm touched."

"It's serious. Come with me." Jungkook asks, whispering, squeezing my thigh. I smile knowing that, the way he asks, I'll never be able to say no. I sigh and roll my eyes.

"You convinced me. Tell me where we're going."

"It's not a very surprising place." He speaks carelessly; suddenly, his cheeks turn red, and he pinches the lobe of his ear, embarrassed. That makes me even more curious. I wonder what he plans, and even though I'm tired, I nod and get up from the bed.

"Alright, you made me curious. But I'm hungry and need to eat something before we go." I say, wrapping my arms around his neck. I kiss his lips in a quick peck, tasting him. A voice in my head tells me I shouldn't act so affectionately because I'm not his girlfriend –or anything like that –but the way Jungkook responds quiets that voice and reassures me it's ok to touch him like this.

"I'll order something for you to eat." He smiles simply. Before I can argue, he crouches down, takes my foot, and pulls off my sneaker. I watch everything, worried and fascinated, relaxing my leg so he can finish the task.

I really like Jungkook. I've admitted that, and it's not very hard to notice. I did things with him because he makes me feel confident in my own skin, and that does me good. He is funny, talented, kind and sarcastic, and even though I don't know him well, the things I know about him make me admire him. The problem is he might still love his ex, and I don't know how far I can unleash my own feelings. I'm afraid of having too many expectations and ending up frustrated and disappointed. He treats me very well, but does that mean he reciprocates what I feel, or does it just mean he is a gentleman who knows how to take care of a woman?

"Done." He says, finishing the knot of my shoelace.

I smile at him gratefully and feel his hand holding mine as we walk down the stairs. I lose a bit of my smile, seeing our fingers intertwined, but I say nothing. I promise myself that I will enjoy the moment and keep my paranoia to myself, for now.

"Are you really not going to tell me where we're going?" I ask when we reach the sidewalk. He shakes his head and laughs before stepping away.

"No. You'll have to wait a little." He replies, opening the gate to his parents' garage. I stand still, waiting for his car when I'm surprised to see Jungkook on a motorcycle, with another helmet on his right arm. I open my mouth, totally impressed, looking from end to end at how huge the thing is. Now I understand why Mr. Jeon was worried, when he mentioned his son's mean of transportation, last night at dinner.

"Shall we?"

"I've never been on a motorcycle." I comment weakly, afraid of falling before I even get on the back.

"Everything has a first time." Jungkook bites his lower lip, watching me mischievously. My face heats up when I remember he said the same thing to me, when I sucked his dick in my room.

"Jungkook, how long have you been riding this thing? Did you pass your practical test on the first try?" I ask, sarcastically. He laughs, rolling his eyes.

"I promise you will come out alive from this." He guarantees with cynicism. He stands up, turns around, and goes behind me. "I'll tie your hair up, wait a bit."

I wait patiently while he holds my rebellious strands and ties them with some elastic. Jungkook takes the helmet from his arm and looks back at my face. He seems super focused and serious, furrowing his brows and making sure my head is indeed protected. He gives a little smile and sits on the motorcycle, waiting for my turn. I am a bit awkward, not quite sure where to support myself, but Jungkook doesn't mind and holds my leg so I can settle in securely. I wrap my arms around his waist, and with my heart racing, I wave between his shoulder and neck.

"We can go." I confirm, uncertain. Almost at the same moment, Jungkook revs the engine and takes off down the street at speed. I hold on tighter to him, tense. I hear his laugh and know he did this on purpose to tease me. I hit his arm, pouting, and sigh, feeling the nice end-of-day breeze.

It's scary, fascinating and a fantastic moment. With the motorcycle rolling, I can follow the sunset, which transforms the blue sky into orange and the usually polluted air, into something purer and cleaner. It's a feeling of freedom, enjoyable and terrifying, the same I have every time I'm with Jungkook. I hold on tighter, happy for the new experience I'm living.

It doesn't take long before the motorcycle stops in the city center. Things are quite busy, with people walking from one place to another and the stores bustling with customers. I can't remember the last time I came here, even though it's so close to my house. I get off awkwardly, and Jungkook follows right behind, taking off his helmet.

"It's here." He smiles happily, pointing behind me. When I turn around, there's a large sign saying "GOLDEN TATTOO" with Jungkook's name, on a seemingly new and well-lit wall. "I managed to finish the renovation today, and I wanted to bring you here to see the place. You'll be the first person to come."

"It's perfect!" I sight, impressed. I'm left speechless as he opens the bulletproof glass and enters the place, as if he were familiar with the environment. It's different from what I expected, with gray-painted walls, plants everywhere, and illustrated designs in large frames. It's a place I would feel comfortable in, even if I came alone. "Did you decorate it?"

"Yes. These last few days, I worked with a design team to organize everything the way I envisioned it. It took a lot of work, but I think it's finally all ready."

"It's very beautiful." I smile, touching one of the frames on the wall. It's a tattoo of an eye, apparently feminine and brown. It's so realistic that it feels like it's looking in my direction. I analyze the drawing so much that Jungkook laughs, lowering his head.

"Did you like it?" He points to the frame, smiling. I nod, touching the picture.

"It's spectacular."

"I drew it." He explains, coming up behind me. My heart skips a few beats when his arms wrap around my waist, and he presses his mouth against my ear. My spine freezes, and I get all goosebumps, from the last strand of my hair to the tips of my toes. "Come here, I want to show you something."

He pulls my hand and guides me to a room with white walls, some utensils and machines that, even as a layperson, I know are for tattooing. It's a very clean and sterilized place, with masks, disposable gloves, and colored inks in a glass and wood cabinet. The almost obsessive organization doesn't surprise me. When I saw Jungkook's apartment some time ago, I realized he likes everything very well organized, and his workplace wouldn't be any different. He sits me on the waiting sofa, and I observe some drawings in a black folder on the coffee table.

I don't know many people with tattoos, and I've never taken the time to appreciate this type of art, but I like what Jungkook does. He creates realistic designs, but most of them have fine and delicate touches. It's interesting to get to know another one of his sides that makes me more enchanted by him every day. I glance at my phone, thinking of my mother suddenly. I shake my head, determined to expel my restlessness. All these worries don't matter right now. She's out of town, and I need to stop tormenting myself about her. Jungkook appears at the door, almost as if he knew I was lost in thought, and smiles at me, mysteriously.

"What do you want to show me? I'm almost going crazy with curiosity." I confess, excited. He smiles, holding a roll of plastic wrap in one hand and raising a tablet in the other.

"I'm going to end your curiosity now." He says. "It's nothing special. I'm just going to do a tattoo on myself."

"What? Another one? Didn't you do one the day before yesterday?" I exclaim, opening my mouth in disbelief. He laughs at my surprise, as if he had said the most ordinary thing in the world.

"I've done tattoos on myself a few times; it's not a big deal. And I have to take advantage because the healing time is always restrict with food."

"Don't you feel pain while doing it?"

"I do." He confirms, shrugging. "But it's not unbearable, and I can stay still the whole time."

"Are you some kind of masochist?" I tease, watching him. Jungkook wraps the plastic around the tattoo machine and on the bench beside me without pausing.

"It's a nice pain." He smiles slyly, licking his lower lip. "It's almost like when I spank your butt. Don't you feel pleasure when there's a bit of it?"

"Jungkook!" I reprimand, my face burning with embarrassment at the question. He really has no scruples. And neither do I, because I hate to admit it, but I actually enjoy it when he spanks me.

"Some types of pain are bearable and nice to feel. You should try it." He suggests, sitting beside me.

"No, thanks." I decline. Just the thought of a needle piercing me, makes me anxious.

"Scaredy-cat." He mocks. He raises the tablet and shows me the drawing. It's a pink, reddish flower. It's a beautiful and interesting drawing, but apparently painful if done by oneself. I grimace, pitying him.

"What does it mean?" His face turns red suddenly. He looks at his hands and bites his lips, thoughtful.

"It's the flower of my birth. The tiger flower." He diverts his gaze from mine, leaving me confused.

"What is it?" I ask, laughing. Generally, I'm the shy one in the relationship.

"It's nothing; it's just that... it means 'please, love me.' I think that phrase is so beautiful and, at the same time, so sad."

"Please, love me." I repeat, testing the words on my tongue. It really is sad but touching. I wonder, however, why he chose that tattoo. "Are you sure you can handle it?" I question, worried, somewhat skeptical. Jungkook turns completely to me and narrows his dark eyes, looking at me.

"Of course I can. Don't doubt my abilities."

"I'm not doubting." I explain, putting my hands in front of my body to defend myself. "It's just that it's a drawing with many details. It's normal for you not to be able to do something like that in a short time. It's already seven."

"Let's make a bet?" He suggests, brushing his hair from his face. I get excited about the proposal, nodding my head.

"Sure, why not? But what can we bet on?"

"If I can't finish the tattoo in two hours, you choose something for us to do together." The dark-haired boy explains, running his fingers on my thigh. A shiver runs up my spine as he trails his fingers on my skin, slowly lifting my skirt with ease.

"Do something together? Like what?" I frown, curious. He smiles, this time wickedly. His hand goes from my thighs to my neck, pulling my hair back. He entwines his fingers in my strands and caresses my scalp with his thumb. A breath of arousal escapes my mouth, beyond my control.

"Anything. You decide."

"And if you win the bet, you do whatever you want with me?" I tease, laughing at my own question. Jungkook doesn't deny it, however, looking at me with a serious expression that, if it weren't for the situation, would disturb me.

"I already know what I want." He says in a husky voice. "If I win the bet, you touch yourself in front of me, like I asked you to."

"J-Jungkook! I can't do that." I choke, shaking my head. I would die of embarrassment. I've tried a few times to touch myself, I confess, but I never succeeded. I always felt awkward, as if something was missing. As if I were a complete weirdo for even trying.

"Are you already thinking about losing? That's not how bets work."

"I've never bet on something like this." I laugh ironically, trembling. His hand releases my hair but doesn't stop touching me. He slides his palm further down and caresses my stomach, which bubbles because of him. I'm so entranced by his touch that I can't stop him and let Jungkook slip under my shirt, heading for my breasts, covered by my bra.

"Think of the other side. If I lose, you can do whatever you want with me." He argues quietly, giving a small smile.

I start imagining what I would do with him if I won the bet. I'm not very creative, but something that really excites me would be to bring him to the edge just like he did with me last night. He denied my orgasm, and I want to do the same with Jungkook, over and over again. Of course, I would have to be very confident, and I don't know if I could achieve my goal, but I think it's worth a try.

"Alright. I agree." I nod nervously. He approaches with a sideways smile and tucks my hair behind my ear, before closing his eyes and kissing my mouth.

I wrap my arms around his neck and deepen our kiss, massaging his mouth with mine. I bite his lower lip, only satisfied when I hear a rumble from him deep in his throat. He smirks between caresses, stops, and attacks my neck, licking my skin and leaving a thin trail of saliva. Weeks ago, I couldn't even imagine a man without clothes in front of me, and now all I want is to suck him off and feel him come in my mouth, just like last night. I still remember the result of his pleasure flowing down my throat, and my desire to repeat everything we did makes my brain intoxicated. I'm completely lost in wanting this man.

"A kiss to seal the deal." Jungkook grunts and pulls away, his mouth swollen. I try to continue the kiss with the excitement eating me from the inside out, but he smiles and stops touching me completely. "I have to start this tattoo if I want to win the bet."

Jungkook stands up and sketches the rose on a piece of paper. My head disconnects from reality while he begins the work. I pick up my phone for a few seconds and see the time passing. I would be more worried if my mother weren't out of town. I leave the sofa, needing to pee, and open a door marked for the bathroom. I take care of my business and look at myself in the mirror. My face looks apparently normal, if not for my flushed cheeks and red lips from the kisses. I splash a bit of water on myself, and when I feel calmer, I return to the tattoo studio. The machine works continuously, and Jungkook seems submerged and engrossed in his task, furrowing his brows, totally focused.

I shouldn't have accepted this bet. Jungkook has several tattoos, and it's obvious that his pain tolerance is high. I know he will win. The way he remains silent and effortlessly pierces his own skin tells me that sooner or later, I'll have to fulfill the difficult challenge. I bite my lip, watching the drawing of the flower being completed as the minutes pass. It's a very time-consuming process, but minutes fly. I am so relaxed and still that I could almost fall asleep listening to the buzzing of the needle.

"Y/N, I ordered food for both of us." I hear his voice suddenly. I jump a bit because I didn't notice he was talking to me, lost in my own head. "I hope you like pasta."

"I really like it, thanks." I say, shaking my head. I'm really hungry.

Before long, someone rings the studio's doorbell. Jungkook even tries to get up to answer the delivery person, but there's no way I'd let him go outside when he's so focused on his own work. I go outside and grab the food bag, seeing that he ordered beer, pasta, fries, and a can of Diet Coke for both of us. I'm happy to notice, in such a simple gesture, that he remembered I don't drink alcohol. My mouth instantly fills with saliva.

"I think you're not going to win the bet." I comment, sitting back on the sofa. I separate my food from his, tasting the delicious vegetable sauce that is the most tasty thing in the world. At least that's what my stomach thinks, given how hungry I am.

"I'm almost done." He brags, still tattooing himself. He passes a paper to remove the excess ink from his skin and raises an eyebrow confidently. "I can't wait to see you touching yourself."

"That's not going to happen." I guarantee with a certainty I don't have, blushing and taking a sip of the soda. It's refreshing, going cold down through my throat.

"Let's see if it won't. Do you really think I'm going to miss the chance to watch you masturbating?"

"Jungkook..." I mumble, covering my face. "Don't you have any shame? Stop saying those things."

"Don't worry, Y/N." He smiles, confident in his victory. "You still have a reasonable amount of time to get used to the idea."

"Focus, Kook." I change the subject; my heart races just imagining myself in that situation. He falls silent and bites his lower lip, looking at me from head to toe with such hunger that makes me nervous and excited. I swallow my food as he returns to tattooing, wondering if he will really finish the drawing in time.

And he does. Of course, he does. In the end, after one hour and forty-five minutes, Jungkook has a new complete drawing on his right arm, along with other tattoos that adorn his body. I finished my food just in time to see him ending everything with mastery and calm, as if he wasn't worried about our bet. His hungry eyes find mine, and I know exactly what he wants. I swallow hard, squeezing my thighs together.

"I think I deserve my prize since I won the bet."

"Y-yes." I respond, trembling. My heart beats loudly in my chest, and I have to breathe deeply to finally realize that I don't feel fear, not even a hint of hesitation. All I feel is lust and desire. A longing to have him closer, to touch him in his rawest form. I sigh, watching him stand up and walk calmly towards me, like a predator; a lion eyeing its prey. I shrink back on the couch, small, now that he is standing. His knee sneaks between my legs, and separates my thighs before he squats down, and brings his face closer to mine.

"I don't want you to touch yourself here." He whispers, like a secret. His dilated pupils when he gazes at my mouth. "In my apartment. In my bed. I want you there."

Ask for a TAGLIST in the comments.

@ane102 @joonwater @ttipa

[bluedilute]

So, the Venture community has been going crazy since the season 12 trailer, and pretty rightfully so. I've been very vocal about how upset I've been with all of this, but I'm trying to still remain positive (which is pretty hard to do in general because of all the negativity in the world) and I want what's best for everyone

With that, I wanted to talk about why I think Venture is gonna be okay and will be getting a lot more content than they have now in the future.

I have a LOT of thoughts about the topic (this post has like 20 paragraphs), so if you have the patience, please read below the cut!

Starting with the most important point,

Advocacy

There has been a lot of talk about Ventures' lack of content as of recent, especially on Twitter. We're all very loud about our love for Venture. We literally put them on a billboard in times square– twice– to show how much we love them.

All this talk and everyone asking for more content for Venture got to the point where Aaron Keller himself made a post addressing the buzz, saying they have a "really exciting skin" for season 14.

Obviously that's pretty far away, and everyone is really upset about having to wait that long for one skin, but it's at least something, and it's better than not knowing when they're getting their next skin.

As well as that, it takes about 4-6 months to make a skin, so at least they're getting to it fast(ish)

Advocating for our respective hero(es) can go a long way, and that's been shown recently. If we keep at it and be loud, we can get more of what we deserve.

It's of course unfair that they're only getting a skin then, and they should have had some already made. But there's an explanation for this,

Ventures' release & layoffs

Venture was created/released during the time when the layoffs were effecting the team the most, and they're currently still recovering from it. The team doesn't have the final say on what goes into the game, and the higher ups have made increasingly more cash-grab decisions since their release.

I also think the decision to have them release with barely anything was because they were deemed as 'controversial', being trans and non-binary, and they had to focus on heroes they knew would make more money. Despite that, I don't think it is directly rooted in transphobia within blizzard. If it was, and word got out, i'm sure they would be fired fast (blizzard has had to fire a lot of awful people through the years).

Overall, Venture got very unlucky with their release, and therefore got nothing when s10 went live. As of now, things seem to be getting better, and the team is trying their best to make better things for everyone, which brings me to my next point:

Other neglected heroes

It's no question that a lot of heroes have been swept aside as of recent, namely Illari, Ramattra, Lifeweaver, and Baptiste. Kiriko has also gotten a lot of skins, and everyone is sick of it.

But, in the last two seasons, these heroes have gotten more content. Such as Weaver getting a lifeguard skin, Illari and Ramattra getting new skins in the transformers collab, and the s12 battle pass with Illaris' thoth skin, Ramattras Poseidon recolor (it's at least something) and Baptiste getting a mummy skin in the battle pass. (I want to note that Bap getting a mummy skin doesn't mean Venture can't get one too!)

All of these heroes, and I think a couple more (Lúcio being one) getting more content leads me to believe that Venture will also be getting more stuff in the future. But about what's out now:

All-time cosmetics

This is where I get into stuff that might be a bit of a stretch. There isn't too much to say here either, but just hear me out for a second.

Firstly, Venture has gotten new interactions all 3 seasons they've been in the game, even in s12, while Valeria Rodriguez (their voice actor) has been on strike, which he is very vocal about participating in. They've also gotten a voice line in the battle bass every season, and this season they have 2 new sprays to come out soon (I think it's 2, might just be 1)

Second, the rework for their default victory pose. It's a small change, but actually looks a lot better than the old pose. Their stance looks more relaxed, yet confident. The old one just looks stiff and awkward. It looks like more care was put into the new pose, plus I don’t think they rework victory poses that often, especially the defaults.

As mentioned, they were developed when the layoffs happened, so they were probably rushed out a bit too. Hence the stiff pose.

They're not fully being forgotten about, and they get at least a little more stuff every season since their debut. With that I expect the number to go up more every time.

Junos' cinematic

Now I know it's really frustrating that Juno got a cinematic while Venture hasn't even gotten a real origin story, but I think this is actually a good thing!

There hasn't been a proper cinematic for overwatch in a while from what I know, and one being made could be a light in a dark tunnel. This is the game breathing again, and it could mean a brighter future for Venture, and other new/neglected heroes.

Conclusion

Overall, Venture has had a rough start with their debut, and with a lack of content for them, it makes people feel like they were just made for LGBTQ brownie points to be swept under the rug for the next Kiriko skin (which is unfortunately probably true in some way). But their fans and mains are very vocal, and with people who main other heroes, even 'popular' ones, speaking out about how unfair it is to us, it seems to be serving us well.

I implore you to keep your voices heard, and advocate for a better game, and better treatment of your heroes. And we can help (at least start) to make overwatch a better game

As a treat, here's some Venture pics I've gathered the last few months

Bonus section if you wanna read it

If not, have a great day or night!

Final thoughts

I genuinely wish I didn't care about this game as much as I do, I feel like a sweaty looser defending it all for one character.

I've seen games, great games, time and time again become cash-grabs and drags as the people who make them become blinded by stardom. This happened with FNAF, fall guys, Hello neighbor (that game has always sucked, but the stardom blindness is there) and so many others. Weirdly enough I've had dreams about games completely changing, all in one patch. Seeing it happen in real time is disheartening.

Overwatch is a pretty special game. It has great lore, amazing art direction, and one of the most diverse casts I've ever seen, especially for a AAA game.

I only kinda played after being recommended the game by a friend, and i never really clicked with any of the characters I tried (I just stuck with Cassidy cause he's a cowboy and I thought it was funny)

Venture is the first character I played and immediately clicked with, and they're incredibly relatable to me on top of that. They're a huge nerd who's extremely passionate about their craft, they're goofy and optimistic, and being trans myself, learning they were trans too made me feel seen.

Them being treated like this while also being the only trans hero feels really disrespectful, and blizzard shouldn't get away with that. As of now, I'm glad we're all very vocal about it not being fair to any of us.

I'm an aspiring game designer, and I have a dream to make my own game one day. This whole situation has inspired me to get my shit together so I can go to college and get my game design degree. I hope to be able to save games like this, and give them a better chance. It's a big dream, but I believe I can do it with help from the right people

I genuinely want what's best for the world of overwatch, and especially all the characters who've been neglected over the years. There are always gonna be people who are fans of every hero they make for the game, and if they keep making more, they should know at this point to make content for that character. Playing favorites does nothing but harm the game, and most often makes the mains of the favored heroes arrogant and self-important (at least in my experience, specifically with kiriko mains)

Anyways, with all my thoughts out there for the internet to see, thank you for reading this really long rant! It took me a long time to write this, lol. I'm very passionate about game design, and Venture has definitely fueled that fire. Have a great day or night!

[andreafmn]

Collision | Chapter 20

Word Count: 3.1K Story Description: (Y/N) Uley is back home after being away for four years. Her life is at its first standstill and she is taking this time to find out who she is without school. But she never thought that coming back to the reservation would turn her whole life around. In the midst of secrets and mystery, a man crashes into (Y/N)’s and her life will never be the same. Chapter: 20/? A/N: your eyes do not deceive you, that's right, two posts in one day. Where is my prize? 😅😅 but I am very surprised at myself that I was able to post both Twilight stories. Also, don't hate me for that ending... My content will always be free, but if you’re feeling particularly generous, you can leave a tip on any of my posts  or buy me a coffee to support me and my love of writing Follow 😊 -> TikTok • Instagram • Business If you’d like to be tagged in this or any other story: click here Make sure you have my notifications on so you know every time I post! Please check if you’re tagged in the story, I’ve reached the limit of tags on Twilight again it seems. 😅

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Chapter 20

Time moved weirdly when you were stuck in the same routine. Days muddled together, only certain events sticking out. There were no beginnings or ends. There were only moments awake and moments asleep. That was how (Y/N) could tell that time had passed. When she was conscious, she could see that things had changed.

Her life consisted of work, school, Paul, her friends, and her family. There was nothing more. There was nothing less. Simply the same cycle, over and over again. It was good enough in the beginning. The semblance that things were getting better made her want to believe it.

But time was not kind to lies. As the seconds passed, the harder it was to keep her cracked façade whole. She could smile, she could laugh, she could enjoy life as it happened to her. Still, there was something that was always missing. A gaping hole in the middle of her chest that she covered every day.

(Y/N) had to believe that things got better. Even if at that moment it felt like things would turn worse, she needed to believe that they would change. She was getting everything she had dreamed of, everything she had worked so hard to obtain. And yet, there was a sadness inside her that didn’t allow her to enjoy it.

Two months had passed since the last time she had cried for them. Eight weeks since her eyes had dried and the pit had opened inside her. Since she had rid herself of the idea that they were ever coming back… that he was ever coming back.

She thought over the words she had told Bella. She needed to take a first step; any step that would make the life she was living real. She owed it to herself, she owed it to her mother, she owed it to her brother, she owed it to every person that had been beside her through it all.

“What’re you doing in my room, Paul?” (Y/N) was startled as she saw her friend’s reflection in the mirror before her. She had been focused on studying; her head engrossed in her books all afternoon. “Is everything okay?”

“Not exactly,” Paul responded “Jacob Black is going through his first shift and he’s freaking out. Won’t listen to anyone, not even Embry.”

“Where is he?”

“He’s in the woods with Sam and Embry.”

She followed the boy out of the house and into the darkness of the forest. Why they needed her help, she did not understand. (Y/N) was the least versed in the supernatural world. But if there was something she understood it was feeling scared and overwhelmed by it. It was an all-consuming implosion of the mind. Everything they had known as reality became a rose-colored canvas over what was truly happening.

Far into the trees and away from the town, Sam and Embry stood before a giant russet-furred wolf. The animal moved from side to side, his eyes far away and scared. The boys tried to calm him, lifting their arms in a show of peace. But it did nothing to calm the poor boy that was stuck in his wolf form.

“Guys, step away from him,” (Y/N) called as she closed the distance between her and the wolf. “He’s scared.”

“Paul, I told you not to bring her here,” Sam seethed. “She could get hurt. Again.”

“He did nothing wrong,” she reprimanded. “Just get away from him, please.”

They quickly did as told, leaving the girl and the wolf. But she could still feel her brother’s cautious stare following her every move. (Y/N) was tentative in her steps, showing Jacob no sign of danger. She stared into the brown of his eyes, trying to connect with the scared boy beyond the animal.

It had only been a week since he had confronted (Y/N) regarding Embry. He had taken her by surprise, wondering why his best friend had suddenly started to avoid him and Quil, and had started hanging out with Sam’s group. She had done what she could, but the boy was too angry to stand reason.

He had rapped harshly against her front door, his knuckles beating against the wood loudly. She had been studying, far too focused on her books to know who it could have been at that hour. It was late at night and her mother had left only two hours before to work. And there was no chance that it had been Paul or Embry since they were out on patrol that night.

She sauntered down the stairs, fear clutching at her limbs as she walked. There was no reason for anyone to be knocking on her door that loudly. It made her tremble, but she was smarter than to allow fear to overtake her.

“Jacob?” (Y/N) had called out in surprise as she swung open the door. “What are you doing here at this hour?”

“Look, (Y/N), I have nothing against you ‘cause you have always been a good friend to me,” he sighed. His eyes were red, telling her that he had been crying. “But I need to know what your brother is doing. It was weird when he took Jared, even weirder when Paul joined. Now, he’s changed Embry as well.”

“W-what do you mean he changed Embry, Jake? He was there at your birthday party last month.”

“But he wasn’t really there, was he?” Jacob continued. “He’s been avoiding Quil and me in school. He comes up with excuses or doesn’t even respond when we call to hang out. And he barely said a word to me other than ‘happy birthday’ at the party. And now, we see him hanging out with your brother and his weird gang.”

“It is not my place to talk about what happens with Embry, Jake; what happens with any of them for that matter,” she tried to explain calmly. “All I can tell you is that he definitely is not in a dangerous gang like it’s rumored. My brother is not a dangerous person.”

“Then, why can’t Embry talk to us, huh? Why is he clearly under instructions to not talk to his friends or even to his mom?” Jacob exclaimed. “She’s been asking us nonstop what’s happening with her son, and we have nothing we can say.”

“Jacob, I understand how frustrating this must be. But I can’t say anything. It’s really not my place.”

“So, what? You’re just gonna let your brother keep taking guys from the rez and making them turn their backs on everyone they know?” he said, his voice rising slightly. “It’s not right, (Y/N), and you know it.”

“I wish I could tell you what is going on, Jake, but…”

“But it’s not your place to tell. Yeah. I got that,” he scoffed. “If there are any more guys that are taken from their families because of your brother, it’ll be on you, (Y/N).”

“No one has been taken from their families, Jacob,” she replied defensively, biting down on her tongue to not anger the boy further. “They’re always free to come and go.”

“Yet they’re not free to talk,” he seethed. “I can’t believe you don’t see what they’re doing, (Y/N). You’re smart enough to know that something’s not right.”

“I’m sorry I can’t be of more help, Jake,” she sighed. “But I can promise you that your friend is safe.”

“It doesn’t matter much to me that he’s that safe when he can’t even say hi to me in the halls.”

“Jacob…”

“No, it’s fine, (Y/N). It’s not your place.”

He had left her house completely infuriated. So angry that he wouldn’t even return her waves when they ran into each other in town. And she understood his anger. Someone had come between him and his best friend. They had ripped away a relationship without a single reason.

But now, he would understand the why. Now, he would be in on the secret.

(Y/N) reached her hand out, showing Jacob that she meant no harm. Her movements were slow and calculated, always in sight of the brown wolf. She was letting him know he was okay, that he was safe.

“I know you’re scared, Jacob,” she spoke softly and calmly. “I bet you’re stressed too. Nothing that is happening is making sense.”

Jacob let out a huff in response, his eyes searching her over.

“I promise we will let you know everything that’s happening,” she continued. “But the first thing we have to do is get you back in human form. And I’m gonna help you with that, okay?”

The wolf’s head nodded, his pacing stopping dead in his track. He walked toward her outstretched hand, his snout bumping against it. He nuzzled into her, his pained eyes begging her to keep talking.

“You need to calm down,” she told him. “Center your mind and think how it feels to be in your human form. You have to focus and keep calm.”

It seemed her voice was what he needed to do the trick. The wolf stepped back and closed his eyes. She was almost sure she could feel the air changing around them as Jacob focused. And then, it all happened swiftly. One second, the russet-colored wolf towered over them. And the second, Jacob was covering up his naked body with his hands.

“Uh, is there a chance any of you brought a change of clothes?”

“Here,” Sam said as he threw the boy a bag of clothes. “There are many things you’re gonna have to learn now.”

Jacob disappeared behind a tree to get changed, running to shield himself from the others. (Y/N) had no idea what it was like for the body to go through that shift. But she could begin to imagine how disconcerting it would be to have your body turn into a massive wolf after an angry outburst.

“Thank you, (Y/N),” Paul said as they waited outside of Sam’s house as Jake was informed of everything. “We should have you over every time a new kid shifts. You’re good at calming them down.”

“I guess I can understand how it feels to not feel in control of your own body,” she sighed with a smile. “But I’m glad I could help with Jake. Just last week he was grilling me over what you guys were doing.”

“we’re not doing anything wrong.”

“Not in the eyes of the town, Paul. People think that you’re a dangerous gang that is corrupting the boys in the reservation.”

“Eh, I’m used to it,” he shrugged. “Not many people thought I was a good guy before. I doubt I could change their minds now. And, honestly, I don’t care what people think of me. Just you.”

“Well, then, you’re lucky I like you, kid,” she laughed. “You would be very sad if I didn’t.”

“I really would,” he said, making her laughter die in her throat. He was too serious. Too serious for the playful tone she had spoken with. “I couldn’t live without you.”

“Paul, what’re you…?”

“I’m serious, (Y/N),” he continued as he took her hands in his. “You’re the most important person in my life, (Y/N). I would die without you.”

“You’re important to me too, Paul,” she smiled softly. “But where is all this coming from?”

“I just… gods, I just need to tell you.”

“Tell me what?”

As Paul opened his mouth to speak, the door to the back slid open, Jared and Embry tumbling out. They wore playful smiles on their faces and were holding plates of food in their hands.

“Yo, (Y/N),” Jared called. “Jake’s asking for you.”

“We’re sort of in the middle of something here,” Paul muttered through gritted teeth. “He can wait.”

“We’ll talk later, Paul,” she smiled as she put distance between them, her heart beating a million miles a minute. “I’m gonna go see what he needs.”

“But (Y/N)…”

“Later,” she called from the door.

(Y/N) had an inkling of what Paul was going to say. She could feel it deep in her bones. The past three months had been perfect –too perfect, she guessed. The last thing she wanted was to break things off with Paul, to put distance between them. But she knew that it was what would be best for them both.

As she walked into the house, she allowed herself to push down the thought. To forget that sooner rather than later, she had to push him away. To forget that the start of her poorly mended new life crumbling was nearing. Nothing good lasts. That much she knew.

Jacob was waiting for her at the dining table, a look of shame plastered across his face. He was shaking slightly, the weight of the new information heavy on his shoulders. And she could see what he truly was. A boy that had his whole life ripped from under him.

“Hey,” she called out softly. “Jared said you wanted to talk to me.”

“Yeah,” he chuckled softly, his head snapping toward her voice. “I owe you an apology, (Y/N).”

“No, Jake. You were angry. I understand.”

“But you didn’t deserve to be on the receiving end of the anger,” he continued. “You were protecting Embry, protecting all of them. And I was pretty mean to you.”

“You don’t even make the top five, Jake,” (Y/N) laughed as she sat beside him. “But, if it makes you feel better, I accept your apology. Even if there’s nothing to apologize.”

Jacob remained quiet for a second, his gaze falling onto his hands. “Your brother said I can’t see Bella,” he peeped. “I know it’s to keep her safe, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to. I can’t just abandon her right now.”

“I understand that, Jake. But this is only for the time being,” (Y/N) tried to help. “You need to learn to control the phase. If something makes you snap when you’re with her…”

“I know. Sam told me… all of it,” he sighed. “What if I imprinted on her? She’d be allowed to know everything then, right?”

“You can’t force yourself to imprint on someone, Jake. It doesn’t work like that.”

“Not that we know of,” he smiled, hopeful. “I’m gonna try and I’ll be the first.”

“Jake,” she called as the boy jogged to the front door. “Jake!”

“Thanks for the talk, (Y/N)!”

And the next second, he was gone.

“Maybe delusion runs with the shifting gene,” she said to herself.

(Y/N) used the moment to leave Sam’s house, though. She needed to escape that conversation that Paul was sure to want. Things were changing once more and she was not ready for it. The last thing she wanted was to lose her grasp on the reality she had forged for herself. She had crafted it to the most minuscule detail and she couldn’t let him ruin it.

She ran to her home, locking herself in her room. She could feel panic building inside her. As the reins she held on her façade slipped, she could only feel the dread that was underneath. The (Y/N) from six months before was trying to claw her way out. To make her feel the same pain and sadness, making the hole in her chest grow.

But she couldn’t let it. She couldn’t let any of it out. She had to keep every last ounce of those emotions buried deep inside, locked away with the memory of him. It was the only way she would survive. The only way all of that heartbreak would have been worth it.

Instead of spending the night studying as she had planned, (Y/N) crashed on her bed, succumbing to a tiredness she didn’t know she had. She had only planned to rest her eyes for a second, not to completely fall asleep.

She was walking down a path she had come to hate, but one she still knew like the back of her hand. The road to perdition, she had branded it in her mind. She could see the bridge as she walked, begging her limbs to not keep moving. She never wanted to be back there, much less when he wasn’t there.

But the closer she got, she could make out that there was a figure standing there. A figure she had done so much to forget about, even if she never wanted to. Not really.

“(Y/N),” he breathed as she stopped in front of him. “God, how I’ve longed to see your face again.”

“Carlisle,” she said, her voice breaking as tears burned in the back of her eyes. She couldn’t walk to him. Too scared that he would disappear if she did. “Where have you been?”

“Being a coward, I guess,” he replied. “I have missed you, my love. So much more than I could ever tell you.”

“Then, show me,” she commanded in a whisper. “Show me how much you truly have.”

Carlisle extended his hand and she gladly took it, sighing happily as the coldness enveloped her. He pulled her over the treaty line, making her body crash into his. He placed one hand on the low of her back as the other cradled her cheek. His amber eyes looked intently into hers, the warmest smile he could muster spread across his lips.

“Kiss me,” she whispered and Carlisle obliged.

He pressed his lips softly to hers, love slipping past his mouth. It was just as she had remembered it. Just as cold, just s perfect. It was what she had been missing for months. A true connection of love and passion. Her hands traveled up his chest, feeling. He felt so real.

“I miss you, Carlisle,” she cried as they parted, his thumb wiping away the tears that fell. “Why won’t you come back?”

“I’m right here, my love.”

“No, you’re not,” she sighed defeatedly. “This is only a dream. I know it is. Because you’re not actually here.”

“But I am, (Y/N),” he smiled. “You can feel me. You can see me. You can hear me. Who’s to say that I’m not.”

“No, Carlisle,” she said sadly, taking a step back. “If you were here, I wouldn’t be able to wake up.”

She stood on the railing of the bridge, making sure she was past the treaty line. She looked down, the river angry and rushing, rocks piled up everywhere.

“What are you doing, (Y/N)? Get down from there.”

“I can’t do this, Carlisle,” she sobbed. “Not even in my dreams. Because when I wake, you won’t be there, and I’ll be right back where I started.”

Without another thought, she let herself fall, and she waited for the crash.

But it never came. She woke up in a sweat a second later, clutching at her racing heart. The beginning of the end, she thought. She could feel herself crumbling, and it scared her. 

Next ->

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[shes-homeward-bound]

Crash and Burn | Chapter 11

Summary: You’re the first female driver to compete in the Formula 1 World Championship in decades and it's your second year of navigating through a male-dominated sport. Your talent and drive to prove yourself made you vicious on the grid. Your seemingly unshakeable confidence was never questioned- until a certain Ferrari driver made you crash and burn.

Pairing: Carlos Sainz Jr. x Reader

Chapters: 11/11

Warnings: swearing

Word Count: 4.6k

Posted on: 05/25/2023

masterlist

A/N: The final chapter is finally here. I am so sorry for the wait. I wanted to make sure that it was all wrapped up and cute and fluffy just for you guys. Thank you so so much for taking the time to read whatever I write. I appreciate every single one of your comments. It was so fun writing for Carlos and a driver reader.

Finally, after many years in Formula One, Carlos Sainz had gotten his first pole position here in Silverstone. He cheers and scrambles out of the car and immediately gets congratulated by Charles and Max. He couldn’t believe it. After years of hard work, he has finally gotten the best chance to win a Grand Prix. He was thrumming with excitement and disbelief, he still couldn’t believe it even when they started interviewing him. Once finished, he walks back to the pitlane and is met with a flurry of kisses.

“P1! P1! P1!” you chanted. “Babe, you did it!”

You give him a crushing hug and he returns the favor. It’s been almost 2 months since the accident and he was finally comfortable enough to hold you as tight as he wanted. 

“I didn’t expect it! I thought I was doing bad out there.”

You give him a peck on the cheek. “This is your weekend, Carlos. You can do this!”

You and Carlos part ways only to have him meet you in Aston Martin hospitality so you could drive together back to your place. You offered to let him stay in your apartment for the British Grand Prix so Carlos let his parents have his hotel room. 

After a shower, you and Carlos lounged in your living room trying to decompress as much as possible. Dinner was cooking in the oven and you leaned on Carlos as you both sipped on your electrolyte drinks. The night before the race was essential and your performance coaches were adamant that you send pictures of everything you ate and drank. Rupert and Anna were so used to staying by your side and monitoring everything, but to give you two privacy, they resorted to constant messaging making sure you were prepping for the race. The oven dings and you pull out the baked salmon, roasted vegetables, and baked sweet potato. You send the text to the group chat and place your phone face down on the kitchen counter. 

Despite seeing Carlos almost every week, it didn’t mean you got to spend much time alone. It was one of the busiest parts of the season and you were always in meetings, needed for simulators, and doing things for media and promotions. The only times you would interact was a quick kiss if you happened to pass by, sometimes you couldn’t even see each other at the end of the day because you were too tired. You and Carlos were always surrounded by other people, so times like this were precious because you were finally alone. 

Carlos joins you on the kitchen island and helps you set up the plates and utensils. The last time you were doing something domestic was back in your apartment in Monaco. While you were eating dinner, you made Carlos do some manifesting with you. He rolled his eyes but did it anyway, he would do anything to make you happy. You qualified for P7 so Carlos included you and manifested that you would find your way to third place and share the podium with him. While you would love to, you had Charles, the Red Bulls, and Mercedes to worry about. You know you would have more podiums to come but it was Carlos who needed this. He wasn’t having the best season, and you wanted this to boost his confidence. 

You both wake up from a restful sleep and immediately start your race day routines. You and Carlos drive over to the hotel where Pierre and Yuki were staying to have breakfast with them. You were still a little superstitious about it so you never missed race day breakfast with Pierre. So far, everything was going alright, you and the boys safely made it to the circuit and split up to go to find your teams. 

It’s a few hours before the race and you are sitting in Aston Martin hospitality sipping on your electrolyte drink while you contemplate your life. Two months ago, everything was seemingly falling apart. Your relationship with Carlos was on the line and you were in one of the most ridiculous scandals in all of motorsport. You were in a huge car crash but were able to walk away and recover from your injuries. It’s so strange to look back and see how different your life was. Now, you and Carlos are happier than ever and you have just signed a contract to continue your next two years in Formula One with Aston Martin. Life finally seemed normal again and that scared you.

If things are good, then something bad is bound to happen. You know that’s a horrible mindset to have but after the accident, you’ve been having trouble staying positive. You find yourself paranoid that you would lose every good thing in your life. Carlos knows how you feel and he does his best to be there for you but he was busy too, so you did your best to keep these thoughts to yourself. Anna set you up with a therapist and you’ve listened to the advice she’s giving you. You’ve been getting better at staying positive, this is why you made sure to take some time every day to think about the good things in life. Like in this moment where you just sit and people watch. Aston Martin’s hospitality doors were constantly opening and each person was just as interesting. There were the new interns who would shyly look at you, one of Seb’s engineers who was always nervous, and the guys from your pit crew who were all pumped up and waved at you. 

The rest of the day was a blur as your anxiety increasingly spiked. You wanted this win for Carlos and it was beginning to affect you to the point Anna made you go for a quick run to shake off some of your nerves. It helped for a little bit but by the time you were in your car and doing the formation lap, you were buzzing with anticipation. 

You breathe deeply and do your best to get into the racing mindset. Once all the lights turn off, you send it. You had a fantastic start when you heard the screech of metal from behind you. You whip your head to see one of the Alfa Romeo’s careening past your car. You start swearing when you notice they are upside down. You had already driven too far but you looked in your side mirror to see they crashed into the fence.

“Holy shit! Who was that?” you yell into the radio.

“Red Flag. Red Flag. Proceed to the pitlane.”

You start breathing heavily. “Who was that? Valtteri? Guanyu?”

“It was Guanyu. We don’t have information yet, make your way to the pitlane.”

You looked ahead and everyone’s lights were flashing as you all slowly drove to the pitlane. Carlos’s car was ahead and you let out a sigh of relief, at least he was safe. Once everyone was parked and you received the ‘okay’ to leave the car, you scrambled out and ran to the pit wall. 

“What happened?” your eyes grew big as flashes of your accident appeared. “Are they okay?”

“Zhou, Russel, and Albon are out,” says your strategist. 

He points to the screen that was showing live helicopter and drone footage. It looked bad, Gunayu’s car was wedged between the fence and a barrier. You squint and see that George was on the scene, and see ambulances for Alex and Guanyu. Breathing hard, you find yourself having to use one of the engineers to help with your balance. You squint at the screen just hoping that you would be able to catch a glimpse of him moving in his car. You didn’t even notice you were hyperventilating until Carlos appeared in front of you and told you to breathe slowly. He brings you close and you bury your head against his chest.

“I can’t look anymore, let me know when he gets out.”

Carlos holds you and tells you little updates while you close your eyes and work on breathing slowly. After a minute, he tells you to look up, and that's when you see Guanyu safely get out of the car. You sag onto Carlos and tears start streaming down your face, as quickly as possible, he leads you deep into the garage where you can let all your emotions out and away from the cameras. Someone hands you a tissue and you do your best to contain yourself. Now that you knew the boys were okay, you needed to get back into racing mode. That’s when you suddenly remember Carlos and his predicament.

“Carlos! You’re P2 right now!'' You look at the tv screens and you can see that the marshalls and other staff members were cleaning up the area and restoring the barrier. Guanyu's car was still stuck and the people on the cranes still had to figure out how to get it out. “They’re going to redo the line-up. This is your chance to get your position back!”

Carlos just looks at you and smiles. You had just relived a trauma and here you were trying to get yourself together for his benefit, he did have the greatest girlfriend. He makes you sit on the floor and he sits on the ground so that your legs are touching. 

“Don’t worry about me, I just want to make sure you’re ready to race. I’ll make sure Max doesn’t get ahead of me. I know I can win this, I can feel it,” says Carlos. 

You lean your head on his shoulder and take in a shaky breath. “I’ll be okay to drive, it was just so strange to see an accident so similar to mine. I’ll make sure to visit their garage after to see if we can see Guanyu.”

You and Carlos see Rupert peeking into the Aston Martin garage and the both of you laugh. It was time to go back to work. Pressing a kiss on your forehead, he wishes you luck. You take him by the shoulders and look at him sternly. 

“Max is going to attack and be aggressive right away. He’s already pissed it’s a restart but that’s okay because you're faster and smarter. You can do this!” you say giving him a quick kiss and a shove out of the garage.

The engineers pull you aside and show your data from the start and they tell you what you have to do to achieve the same results. The team principal pulls you aside to see if you were mentally okay to race and you reassure him that you were okay. He seemed hesitant to believe you but when he sees the intensity in your eyes, he knows you won't disappoint him. Seb finds you sitting with Anna and your pit crew. He squats down and gives you a reassuring smile.

“How are you holding up?”

“I’m a little embarrassed. I got emotional but I'm okay. I’m just glad to hear the boys are safe.”

He nods. “I talked to George and he told me Guanyu is fine and just a little shaken up. The medics were able to get him safely out of the card news. Us drivers are insane, something huge happens like this and all we do is take a moment, shake it off, and go back on the track.”

You look at him gratefully and nod.

“We’re all crazy, but that’s what makes us the best in the world,” he says, squeezing your shoulder. 

The team principal says that the race starts in ten minutes so you go to the bathroom and go over your different strategies with the engineers one last time. You look for Carlos, and when you see that he was already in the car with his helmet on, you laugh. The other drivers were still in their garages, he was the only one out there. Making your way over to his Ferrari, you bend down and get at eye level with him. You stick your pinky finger out and he hooks his with yours.

“Don’t forget what I told you, faster and smarter. You got this.”

You see him wink at you through his visor. Using the halo to stabilize yourself, you lean down and kiss the top of his helmet. The pit crew that surrounded him smiled at the gesture, they wished you luck as you headed to your car. The other drivers start trickling onto the pitlane and you’re met with Anna who gives you a pep talk. With your helmet and seat belts on, you closed your eyes and imagined yourself going through the corners of Silverstone.

Because of the accident, some of the guys may be a little hesitant at the start so you plan on using that to your advantage. You have had a strange relationship with driving after the accident. Yes, 30 minutes ago you may have been crying over the crash but that was because it was so similar to the one you had. You find yourself much more aggressive than you were before the accident. You weren’t too cocky about it where you put yourself in more danger but you drove with absolutely no hesitation. The fans noticed and loved it, your family was expectedly weary but they trusted you and your judgment. Since the crash, you have been top 10 in every race and you plan on keeping it like that. 

A formation lap is done and when all the lights go green, you floor it. Turns 1-3 were smooth and once you’re on Wellington Straight, you finally let yourself breathe again. Your strategist tells you you moved up two places making you P5. This excites you, maybe you can make it to the podium with Carlos but you don’t get too excited. You had a whole race ahead of you and anything can happen. You have some interesting battles with Fernando, Lando, and Charles battling for 4th place. You almost had a close call with Fernando and you had to bite your tongue so you wouldn’t lash out at him through the radio. You resort to grumbling incoherent swears at your engineer and he just comically responds with “I know” knowing it was completely Fernando’s fault you almost crashed into him.

You let out a whoop into the radio when you cross the finish line. You finished P5 and was happy with your performance and was even more excited knowing that Carlos got his first-ever win. Parked in the pitlane and clambering out of the car, you clap Charles on the back but before he could even acknowledge you, you were sprinting away from him. Running as fast as you can, you make a beeline for Carlos and jump into his outstretched arms. He holds you tight and after a few moments he rips his helmet off and you do the same. You beam at each other as you clasp your hands around his shoulders, he was glowing and his eyes sparkled.

“Congratulations Carlos Sainz, you’re a Grand Prix Winner,” you say as he holds you tightly. “I am so proud of you and I love you so much.”

He smiles and brings his hands to your face, he was speechless as his heart beat fast at all the celebrations around him. Carlos kisses you deeply and the engineers and other teams around him start cheering loudly. You let go of him and he gives a little cheeky wink. While he hugs his parents and sisters, you get weighed and make your way back to the barricade. Carlos leaves to go to the cool-down room and with the help of his cousin and manager, you climb over the barrier to join his team and family. Carlos Senior and his sisters congratulate you for your p5 finish and Reyes gives you a bone-crushing hug, not caring at all that you are drenched in sweat. 

The announcer calls Carlos’s name and he steps outs waving at the fans who cheer him on. Once situated on the podium, Carlos looks down from the podium balcony, he can’t help but choke up. Just below him were the most important people in his life. The sea of red, his family, and you look up at him with smiles on your faces. He watches as you clutch his mother and sister’s hands and bounce in anticipation during the national anthem. Here he was about to receive a P1 trophy and he has never been happier or more grateful. Carlos knew his life was good, he wanted to be in motorsports and now here he was living the dream. He never thought he needed companionship until he met you, a person who would understand his goals in life and know how much dedication is needed for Formula One. 

When Carlos clutches his trophy, he meets your gaze and smiles softly. He had a second chance to deserve your love and he wasn’t going to mess it up this time. He knows what you both share is a once in a lifetime and he will never do anything to jeopardize your relationship. He caught a glimpse of what it would feel like if you were no longer in his life and he never wanted to feel like that again. 

—

August 2022 - Formula One Summer Break

The cool blue water looks more and more enticing as the hot sun beats down on your body. You prop yourself onto your elbows and see Carlos on the other side of the boat talking to Lando and Alex. You look around the yacht and see drivers and their friends or significant others lounging on the deck. You were floating somewhere in the Mediterranean Sea with a bunch of exhausted Formula One drivers with sore bodies. Toto Wolff offered his yacht to George for a couple of days to kick-start the summer break. George invited everyone but the younger drivers with no spouses and children were the only ones who took up the offer. The day after the race was usually painful and you and your friends could not wait to get back to Monaco.

You look at Charles sitting on the chaise lounge next to you, staring off into the horizon. The last few months have been rough on the Ferrari drivers but it was Charles who was suffering. He was leading the championship but bad luck just kept hitting him every weekend.   

You tap him on the shoulder and he looks at you with his eyebrow raised.

“Do you ever have moments where you just can’t believe that this is your life? I mean– I’m on a yacht with my closest friends and coworkers. It just happens they’re all Formula One drivers which means that I am one of you,” you say blissfully looking out into the ocean and the faint outline of France and Monaco. “I can hardly believe it.”

Charles looks at you and smiles. Ever since the accident happened, you were always so verbal with your gratitude. You would be doing the most mundane things such as doing the track walk or toasting bread and you would stop, smile and strike up a conversation with the closest person. There was a time when Carlos was holding your hand in the paddock and you stopped walking just so you could lift the clasped hands, and marvel at it for a few seconds before telling Carlos how much you loved him. Those who witnessed it couldn’t stop smiling, they loved your love.   

“We are so lucky,” agreed Charles. “Sometimes I forget, but times like this remind me how lucky I am to be alive and feel the sun or laugh with my friends.”

You look at him as he wistfully gazes toward the direction of Monaco. He thinks of those he had lost, remembering to live each day like it was his last. Charles is ashamed to admit it but sometimes he’d forget so he was glad to have someone like you in his life to remind him what was important. 

“That accident you had in Miami–” he stops before his voice cracks. He lets out a puff of air and breathes deeply. “I can’t imagine how painful that must’ve been.”

“You know, I don’t think I’ve thanked you enough for all the help and support you’ve given me and Carlos this year. Especially after the accident. You were always there to help us and I want you to know how much I appreciate it.”

Charles waves his hand nonchalantly, “I know you would've done the same if roles were reversed.”

Sometimes you would go back to the footage of the accident, you felt a phantom pain in your chest every time you saw the car careen towards the barrier. What hurt the most was seeing how people were reacting to it, you remember seeing Carlos and Lando watching the screens intently but not Charles. You could see the scene so clearly, him facing away from the monitors and breathing hard, his skin pale at the thought of your demise. When you were at the hospital he doted over you, stayed by your side whenever Carlos or Anna had to leave. You remember the way he and his girlfriend would visit you whenever they could when you all got back to Monaco. It made you smile to think of the good friends you had in your life. Charles was right, you would do the same exact thing if roles were reversed. 

Changing the subject to each of your performances this year, Charles starts talking about his frustrations with himself and the car. The two of you get distracted when you see Daniel push Yuki off the boat which leads to Pierre throwing Daniel into the water. Everyone starts cheering and laughing, their smiles turning mischievous as they eye the other people around them. You and Charles look at each other and grin as you get up and start running to the other side of the boat. 

Charles charges toward Pierre and with a yelp, they both crash into the water. You approach Carlos and he turns around with his hands already out to defend himself.

“Amor, no. Don’t do it,” his voice slightly panicked. He eyes the cold blue water and looks at you sporting a cheeky smile.

“What?” you say innocently. “I can’t give my boyfriend a hug?”

You lunge for him but he quickly moves out of the way. The two of you dance around each other playing a cat-and-mouse game. Ultimately, you manage to shove him off the deck but not before he catches your hand and pulls you in. The shrieks turn to laughter as you and the others splash around in the ocean. The contrast between the scorching sun and the cold water became a comfortable medium so you and Carlos decide to stay in and float for a while. The others went back into the yacht but since the sea was relatively calm, you thought you couldn't waste this opportunity to relax in the water.

Carlos lets out a sigh of contentment.

To you, the cold water was especially relaxing since every single muscle in your body was still screaming. A couple of days ago, you had gotten a podium for P3 in Hungary and that race had depleted all your energy. You were racing hard the last 10 laps of the race. George was right behind and the two of you got into some very intense battles but in the end, it was you who was spraying champagne onto Lewis and Max.

“I told you the water would feel nice,” you say, poking him on his side. 

You’re both staring at the clouds and blue sky but you don’t have to look to know that he was grinning ear-to-ear. He reaches for your hand and tangles his fingers with yours, ensuring you don’t drift away from him. You feel like you’re floating toward the sky, the only thing tethering you to Earth is Carlos’s dependable and firm grip. Sometimes you think about what might have happened if you chose not to forgive Carlos. You shiver just thinking about it. Maybe you wouldn’t have gotten into an accident or it could’ve been worse and resulted in permanent injuries or death. All you know is that Carlos is the love of your life and you would do it all over again even if it meant it would end in heartache. The thing is, you don’t think you ever have to worry about that. The universe has given you the perfect partner and despite any upcoming hardships, you know that you belong to each other and nothing will ever change that.

 The two of you enjoyed each other's company in silence until the water became too cold and you needed to get back on the yacht. Carlos helps you up onto the deck and head straight to the outdoor dining area. Everyone is already helping themselves to the food so you sit down and wait because Carlos insisted that he would make your plate for you. Lando teased you relentlessly but you just shrugged. Your boyfriend was excessive when it comes to taking care of you, he knows you could always make your coffee or grab a jacket if you’re cold but whenever you are with him, you barely lift a finger. Of course, you protest whenever he does this but he loves to spoil you so you let him.

Later that day after the sunset and the boat had docked in Monte Carlo, you, the other driver, and their girlfriends were pre-gaming in the lounge area. Everyone was dressed to the nines because you were going to the club and celebrating Max’s win and your third podium. Lily and Carmen compliment the emerald green cocktail dress and you grin when you tell them that Carlos had gifted it to you. This then leads to all the girlfriends scolding their partners for never gifting them a dress to their taste. The boys start hounding you about what kind of gifts you’ve given to Carlos and they are silenced when he flashes his watch you had gotten for him for his win in Silverstone. 

You sidle up to Carlos while his fingers glide over the silk and rest on your hip. Looking up, Carlos smirks down at you as your friends loudly squabble about who has the best sense of style. Everyone was throwing tipsy insults at each other, but it was all part of the banter. Carlos kisses the side of your head making you smile as laughter bubbles out. You wrap your arms around him and inhale the citrus and sandalwood. Feeling his gaze, you look up to see his dark brown eyes looking at you in pure adoration. Placing a hand on the side of his face, you pull him towards you and press a kiss on his lips. 

Here you were in a beautiful dress with the man of your dreams in your arms. You were performing well in the highest level of motorsport breaking records and boundaries for other women out there. A year ago, you were so focused on your work that every single thought was about becoming a world champion or getting as far up the grid as you can. You had to work harder than the boys just to prove that you belonged in this sport just as much as they did. Now that you’ve proven yourself, it makes that fire within you burn brighter. You want to be the best, you want to break records and show the world that you have what it takes to dominate the sport. It was strange to be competing with your boyfriend but it makes you better, some would even say ruthless. This is why you and Carlos work so well together, you teach him to enjoy and savor life while he helps you keep that laser focus on your goals.

You were now leaning against Carlos’s chest with his strong arms holding you close to him. His body gives you warmth as a cool sea breeze brushes past you. As the two of you admired the twinkling lights of Monte-Carlo at night, you can’t think of a better person to spend the rest of your life with.

---

Thank you for all the love. Feel free to send fic requests, I'm itching to write about the other drivers!

Tagged: @oyesmendes, @forzaferraris, @harley-sunday, @thatoneidiot16, @haterpenny, @mysticalnightenthusiast, @laura-naruto-fan1998, @helluvahazelnut, @starjane312, @thatchickwiththecamera, @sticksdoesart, @xscorpioxmoon, @sanne-p, @idkiwantchocolatee , @ruledchaos, @callmequeenbeee, @nochillnel, @dr3lover, @urbankaite2, @justharrysworld, @ohthemisssery, @zoobabystation, @fangirlingcontent-blog, @dan3avacado, @compulsiveshit, @iamasimpingh0e, @inurdreamms, @kodzuskook, @imsoconfused2903, @urbankaite2, @nsprinz, @loveofmylife12 , @capela-miranda, @organasith, @c0k3z3r0na, @thelightnessofthebeing @verstfosi, @glitterquadricorn, @bloomingpresent, @troybolton-14, @vio111a, @marvelousmendess, @bbbbruins, @itssherlockedontheinside, @secretlysoft444,

[canonicallyobserving911]

WIP Wednesday

Fanonwriter2023 on AO3

Where CANON and FANON collide!

Season 7 FANON FanFic: Buddie Multi-Chapter - Hiatus Reading: “I’m still in love with you but... I needed to learn how to love myself too!”

Chapter 29 will be posted soon.

This is an EPIC LOVE STORY!

Currently 28 chapters completed: 1.77M Words; Rated: Mature

One chapter will be posted at a time.

#1 {Previous snippet} #2 {Previous snippet} #3 {Previous snippet}

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I'm excited to finish writing Chapter 29 because at the end of Chapter 28, it was early in the morning and Buck and Eddie were lying in bed having a serious conversation about whether Eddie's going to delay the pursuit of his second paramedic certification, the ACP-C. Buck doesn't want him to give up his dream, especially now since they know what caused Buck's bradycardia and he's on medication. He's doing better and even though he's still grieving, he believes once he passes the last two stages of grief, Frank may clear him to return to work but he's still not sure if he wants to go back to being a firefighter. Also, Eddie's FMLA ends on January 31, 2024 but the question is will he extend it or return to the 118?

Additionally, Chris is still dealing with one of his classmate's lack of participation in their video game project and it's stressing him out. Furthermore, during their last group therapy session, Buck had a conversation with Captain Jeshan Mehta and he asked him if they could meet so he can get an objective viewpoint from someone about whether he could be a captain someday with the LAFD. He decided not to ask Bobby since he doesn't believe he'll give him an objective viewpoint because in September 2022, he told him he needed more life experience. Things are getting interesting as the Diaz family gets closer to their "New Beginnings".

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Here's a romantically fluffy snippet from Chapter 29 of Buck and Eddie while they're in bed.

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It’s 6:58AM and it's supposed to be a lazy Sunday morning but not for them because they have a long ‘To Do’ list to complete and nothing can be ignored.

While looking at his beautiful husband, Buck can’t resist kissing him so he does and while they’re engaged in it, Eddie moans and pants because he can’t get enough of him either.

As their tongues become tangled, Eddie repositions them so Buck’s completely on top of him and his legs are between his.  He’s already rock hard and now that their hips are pressed together, he can feel Buck is too.  He wants Buck to make love to him but he knows if they start now, they’ll have to rush and he doesn’t want that.  Since it's so close to 7AM, it’s also possible they’ll be interrupted if their son knocks on the door asking about breakfast.

He breaks the kiss, lays his head on the pillow, pats Buck’s ass and asks, “Are you ready to get started cleaning?”

“Babe seriously?  Is cleaning the house the only thing on your mind this morning because I can uh…” He pushes his hips down and continues.  “Tell you’d rather be doing something else with me?”

He raises one eyebrow, tries to hide his smile and replies, “Well, the house isn’t going to clean itself”.

“But we wouldn’t have to do it if we buy a…”

He cuts him off with a kiss because he already knows what he’s going to say.  Last month, when they moved Buck out of the loft, they took a lot of those A.I. robot concoctions to Goodwill and he doesn’t want anything else in the house watching them.  Hildy’s on their coffeemaker and Siri’s on their iPhones and iPads which is plenty.

He pulls back a little and talks against his lips.  “No, no, no, my love… we’re not buying any of those smart technology robots that clean and sweep the floors or that automatically turn the lights off.  No more Hildy and we don’t need anything else with Siri’s voice on it.  Sometimes… when we’re having a simple conversation, if we say anything that sounds like “Siri” she asks, “What was that?”

Buck laughs but he buries his face between Eddie’s neck and shoulder, so he won’t wake up Chris.

“I’m serious Buck.  It’s creepy to have her start talking when no one has asked her a question and don’t even get me started on Alexa. Adri and Tonio have one of those things and I wanted to run out of their house when I first heard it. They don't use it when I'm there.”

Buck returns his million-dollar Eddie smile then he grinds his hips down so their hard lengths can rub against each other’s one more time and the feeling makes Eddie close his eyes and he slowly exhales.

Buck exclaims, “Now see… if we had…”  He kisses his cheek.  “One of those…”  He kisses his neck.  “Roombas, to do the vacuuming…”  He lightly scrapes his teeth over Eddie’s earlobe.  “Or uh… a personal robot…”

“Wait… a what?  What is a personal robot?”

He lifts his head again and meets his eyes.  “It’s an actual robot that we can program to do all of our household chores.”

He vigorously shakes his head no because the thought of something like that terrifies him.

Buck’s smile turns devious as he lowers his hand and after he reaches the top of Eddie’s sweatpants, he quickly loosens the drawstring then he slowly pushes his hand down so he can wrap it around his hard length.

When he starts stroking him, Eddie moans, “Hmm… that feels so good.  Keep go—ing.”

Buck lowers his head and whispers into his ear, “You like that?”

“I love it… amore mio, please don’t—don’t stop.”

He continues to stroke him but as he increases the speed, he rubs his thumb over the slit and immediately, he feels it when Eddie shivers.

As pure unadulterated pleasure fills Eddie’s body, his brain goes offline and he completely forgets the thing they were talking about.  He wants to remember it; he really does but right now he’s entering a place called ecstasy and he’s sure the only two people there are him and his husband.

He whispers, “Voglio te!” [“I want you!”]

Buck lifts his head, meets his eyes and replies, “Anch’io ti voglio piu’ di ogni altra cosa”.  [“I want you too, more than anything”.]

“Bene, cosa stai aspettando?  Prendimi!”  [“Well, what are you waiting for?  Have me!”]

Is Eddie going to remember what they were talking about before Buck started taking care of him? 👀

Is Buck going to convince Eddie to let him buy a personal robot for their home? 🙃

Are they going to be interrupted? 🤷🏽‍♀️

___________

Fic Summary: Months after Buck and Eddie were hit by the same lightning strike; they’re still struggling with the aftermath of it.  But before they make their love confessions, they’ll spend time getting to know themselves as individuals first. Eddie learns to enjoy the simple things in life as he participates in activities on his own and with new friends while Buck learns the rest of the 31-year-old deep dark family secret about his conception and birth. Their journey to forever is still a work in progress but once they finally admit they’re in love with each other, everything that follows their love confessions will be cataclysmic.

__________

Chapter Summaries

Chapter 1 - Eddie makes a new friend while Buck receives devastating news regarding the sperm donation he made for Connor and Kameron.

Chapter 2 - Buck does a lot of research to learn more about the abnormalities found in his red blood cells and Eddie starts a new therapy journey that’s all about him and not the traumas he’s experienced.

Chapter 3 - After more than a month, Buck and Eddie finally spend time together outside of work but it doesn’t end well and they part with a lot of uncertainty regarding their places in each other’s lives.

Chapter 4 - Eddie has a few realizations about his life which causes him to consider moving back to El Paso, TX while Buck continues to be reminded of his past which causes him to take an impromptu road trip across America.

Chapter 5 - Both Buck and Eddie have difficult conversations with their parents and Buck finally learns the truth behind the reason why his mother despised him while Eddie finally tells his mother about the way she tries to control him.

Chapter 6 - More than two weeks after Buck pushed Eddie away after suggesting they needed a break; Eddie decides to try again. Eddie’s there for Buck when he’s at his worst just like Buck was there for him when he was at his worst and he won’t let Buck give up.

Chapter 7 - After Buck’s mental breakdown, Eddie has his back the same way Buck had his when he had his own breakdown more than a year ago.  They share several vulnerable and emotionally intimate moments with one another and they begin to realize their small, sweet and caring gestures matter just as much if not more than any grand gesture ever could because these are the foundations of a long-lasting love relationship.

Chapter 8 - Buck, Eddie and Chris all have their own therapists and during their sessions, they reflect on their pasts while they’re in the present so they can prepare for their future together as a family.

Chapter 9 - Buck and Eddie are there for each other when Buck has to testify as a witness during the trial.  But by the end of it, they’ll both realize their individual and shared traumas are going to keep resurfacing until they talk about them, deal with the fact that they’re in love with one another and face the fact that they can’t live without each other.

Chapter 10 - As Buck and Eddie finally begin to confront their past traumas, they realize how much they need each other to fill in the gaps of their memories.  Additionally, the universe screams at them for what appears to be the one hundredth time so Buck can realize he doesn’t have to ‘find it’ because he already ‘made it’ and Eddie’s reminded tomorrow isn’t promised and he doesn’t have to die alone if he doesn’t want to.

Chapter 11 - A “virga” or dry thunderstorm is in the forecast but once the rain starts, the thunderstorm happening outside won’t be able to match the storm brewing inside between Buck and Eddie.  It’s the universe’s final scream and when the tumultuous winds begin to blow, they’ll have one last chance to hold onto everything they’ve built over the last six years or they’ll lose it all forever.

Chapter 12 - Buck and Eddie have always shared a deep physical attraction and an emotional intimacy that’s unmatched but now that they’re in a relationship, they’re learning how to navigate the romantic intimacy they’ve been waiting for six years to explore. The love they have for each other is a once in a lifetime, soulmate, love of their lives type of love that transcends space and time.

Chapter 13 - While navigating the newness of their romantic relationship, Buck and Eddie take advantage of every moment they spend together. As their individual lives, people from their pasts, time constraints and the possibility of losing each other again make attempts to interrupt and interfere with their journey to forever, they love, care for, support and hold onto each other even tighter to withstand it all.

Chapter 14 - Buck and Eddie can see the lights at the end of the tunnels regarding the results of Buck’s Cancer Screening along with everything else they’re dealing with. But are the lights they see exits to the tunnels or are they headlights on different runaway trains that are speeding towards them in an effort to interrupt their forever?

Chapter 15 - Buck and Eddie have known they were exactly who the other one wanted in a partner since they met six years ago when they agreed to have each other’s backs. They’re in a romantic relationship, they’re both preparing to ask the other one to spend forever with them and by the end of the seventh week into their relationship, together they will plan their most important and greatest adventure for their future.

Chapter 16 - As Buck and Eddie begin to prepare for their marriage ceremony that will take place in Rome, Italy in December 2023, they start planning their first international adventure as a romantic couple. Even though Chris is still the only person they’ve told about their relationship, several people who know them have already witnessed the love they share and as the days continue, others will witness it too.

Chapter 17 - As Buck and Eddie get closer to departing Los Angeles for their international adventure, a moment in time will remind them; life is fragile, tomorrow isn’t promised and every second of everyday should be cherished because everything can change in an instant. The result of that realization will cause them to hold onto each other even more.

Chapter 18 - As Buck, Eddie and Chris prepare for family gatherings before and during the Thanksgiving holiday, the “Santa Ana Winds” start to blow and all sorts of expected and unexpected familial drama ensues.

Chapter 19 - As Buck and Eddie get closer to their wedding day, the universe begins to align everything so that some of their parent and children's relationships are strengthened while others come to an abrupt end.

Chapter 20 - With only 14 days remaining until Buck, Eddie and Chris depart Los Angeles, CA traveling to Rome, Italy, for their first family adventure, an early morning conversation about “tying up loose ends” helps Buck and Eddie realize there are still several things left unfinished on their ‘To Do’ lists. The question is will there be enough time to complete all of them?

Chapter 21 - Buck, Eddie and Chris are finalizing their ‘To Do’ Lists, double checking their itineraries and packing their suitcases in preparation for their trip to Europe so they can board their flight that departs Los Angeles, CA on Friday, December 15, 2023 at 3:25PM.

Chapter 22 - While Buck, Eddie and Chris spend the first 8 days of their European family adventure in Italy, their primary reason for going will be fulfilled as well as several others they hadn’t considered or anticipated.

Chapter 23 - As the Diaz Family continues their Italian family adventure, they’ll say, “Ciao” or hello and goodbye to a lot of things almost immediately after they become an official and legal family.

Chapter 24 - After Buck, Eddie and Chris arrive in London, England on December 24th; the Diazes immediately start preparing to spend their first family Christmas together. During their stay, each of them will hear a few choice words that will be the life raft to get them home to complete their searches to be seen and to be found.

Chapter 25 - After spending more than two weeks in Europe, Eddie, Buck and Chris are back in Los Angeles and they’re getting ready to attend Maddie and Chimney’s New Year’s Eve party. During the event, they have plans to make two surprise announcements but the question is, who’s really going to be surprised, the Diaz family or their found family at the 118?

Chapter 26 - Buck and Eddie are once again faced with their greatest fear of losing each other but this time it could be permanent and if it is, then they won’t be able to spend the rest of their lives together.

Chapter 27 - After Buck resumes therapy, he’ll continue to face the fact that he “DIED” in March 2023 and during those sessions, he’ll learn about the 7 stages of grief. As he continues his healing journey, Eddie will be right by his side just like he promised and the Diaz family will start to deal with their three minutes and seventeen seconds loss as a family.

Chapter 28 - Two years ago, Eddie was asked, “What are you afraid of?”; twice, once by Frank and once by Buck but he only answered one of them without deflecting. Since that time, he’s been to therapy and him and Buck got married but the question resurfaces when Frank asks Buck the same question and Buck asks it of Eddie for the second time. However, when Buck asks, his reasoning will be about something else entirely.

Chapter 29 - Will be posted soon.

__________

Read chapters 1-28 are available on AO3.

Continue reading on AO3

[primojade]

𝐅𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄.

𝐀𝐂𝐓 𝐈𝐈: 𝐀𝐔𝐃𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐒 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐔𝐍𝐀 𝐈𝐔𝐕𝐀𝐓. ( fortune favours the bold )

𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐄 𝐈.𝐈𝐈 : 𝐀𝐑𝐆𝐔𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐔𝐌 𝐏𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐎 𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐈𝐏𝐈𝐈

" fear not death for the hour of your doom is set and none may escape it. " - volunga saga, c.5

𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒' 𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘 | As a veteran AR60 player of Genshin Impact, you pride yourself as someone who knows the ins and outs of Teyvat, even studiously completing Spiral Abyss every reset, and having 100% exploration to some, if not all, of the released regions so far. Everything is fun and enjoyable, especially since Sumeru just recently debuted so you still have a lot to do!

All that ends though, when a mysterious passerby pushes you off the building of your university while playing Genshin. But instead of meeting your inevitable end, you find yourself waking up in the very world you were addicted to! 

It's supposed to be a fun dream, right? Something you could laugh at when you wake up? Right?! So, why is that you were back in AR1 with nothing but a dull blade in your inventory?!

…well, at least you still have those 700+ sunsettias and mints, Timmie's fowls…and surprisingly similar game mechanics you used to merely see on the screen before. But what should you do now? Flirt with the Genshin men??? Good lords...

"Welcome to Genshin Impact, Dreamer. Here, we can show you a happier ever after you've never had before…so, ready?"

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘 | In which you somehow find yourself tangled in the start of a web of conspiracies and confusion as the threat of the crumple paper of fate led you to a strange path with two equally strange men.

𝐂𝐖 / 𝐓𝐖 | Cursing, possibly ooc Kaveh and Alhaitham, spoilers for Sumeru Archon Quest, let me know if I missed anything <3

𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒 | This is a lot harder to write because I established a new plot lmao. And because of Kaveh and Alhaitham it was so hard to write them sjakahs. Also, this was supposed to be posted on Friday last night but I was so tired after a whole day doing god-knows-what outside so I wasn’t able to finish the chapter :( Reblogs and comments are appreciated!

masterlist | route 1: argumentum ad hominem | (alternate route) route 1.1: magister dixit

Apparently, today was simply not your day.

Even before you get the chance to leave the blasted scene you found yourself in, you got stuck in the House of Daena together with two potential suspects of book robbery, one is known for being an academia lunatic and one for being a perfectionist architect. Not that you knew that they would do it, of all people, but at this point, you just did not want to give a damn.

Anyway, flashback almost a week prior after your arrival in Teyvat and before all this crazy fiasco happened, it's not everyday that your rationality won over your desire to earn and farm primogems, you know. It's also a near impossible feat to abandon the quest that could potentially help you advance your AR and even more so in pretending that Cyno is not outside, talking to Tighnari over something you wisely choose not to listen to–lest you might incur more suspicions from the both of them.

Which, in fact, is the last thing you wanted to do.

So, ignoring the questline and the angry red mark of the Paimon Menu, you closed the tab and let yourself fall on the soft bed once again with a dejected sigh. You repeatedly told yourself that this decision was the best course of action and you will have no regrets in this route. Still, you didn’t know how many hours had passed since then–all you somehow perceived is falling asleep, being lulled by the hushed whispers of the people outside and the quiet stillness of the Avidya Forest you grew accustomed to in the past months from behind the screen of your device. 

All dreams would soon end. Your hippocampus reminded you, and you agreed. No matter how much this bittersweet reality you found yourself in looks so believable, you couldn’t be far from your own reality…right? 

There has to be a way to go back.

That aside, the past four days you spent in Tighnari’s care was far from not being nerve-wrecking, if you were being honest. The fennec therianthrope seems to like hovering around you a lot, fussing like a distressed mother when you do something that he thought would strain your body and passionately lecturing you about the pros of staying in bed while you rest as if you were a poorly disciplined child.

While you admit that he was a great caregiver and it was endearing seeing a former 2D character worries about you despite literally knowing nothing about you, Tighnari’s inevitable tendencies to get lost in his lectures and fussing made your resolve to go back home hardening even more. 

Though when the sixth day had passed, you were finally allowed a bit more freedom to roam around. During that time, Tighnari had introduced you to Collei, his student and a trainee forest ranger, and it takes you a lot—and really, a lot—not to bawl your eyes out when you see the green-haired girl. You remember when you used to see Collei in the Genshin manga, she was still so small back then! And now, she is all grown up, cheerful despite her life experiences…and even kind-hearted enough to offer to take you to a visit in Sumeru City along with the other forest rangers to fetch some supplies to stock before the start of the heavy rainy season.

It was also on the sixth day when you found a crumpled paper with the word ᛚᚨᛖᚡᚨᛏᛖᛁᚾᚾ written in all bolds and italics using bright green ink in the folds of your clothes. Although you were weirded out and freaked out why, how and who slipped it there, you decided you did not give a damn about it.

Well, that was until you found another crumpled piece of paper under your pillow when you decided to get dinner with Tighnari and Collei outside. This time, ᚷᛚᛖᛁᛈᚾᛁᚱ was written on it using the same bright green ink. 

It doesn't even looked remotely similar to Teyvat's language, as what you've seen in passing when looking at the forest watcher's books on his study table. You have a vague idea what it means, but it was possible that it was one of their ancient languages, too. Since apparently, Alhaitham himself and any other scholars of his Darshan knows at least twenty languages, according to the lore.

But what the hell does it supposed to mean? It gives you the same level of anxiety when you are taking an exam in Foreign Languages. You started to question every motive, every reason why someone would send you, someone not even from this world, a crumpled paper with Earth's Runic inscriptions. Why would they send this to you? Who sent this to you? Do they even know you? A prank, maybe? What do they get from this? What do they want from you?

In any case, you don't want someone out there continuously bullying you, and you don’t have any lawyer here to sue them (unless you count on Yanfei, but that’s beside the point). So, as a last resort, you asked Tighnari if you could join the forest rangers going to Sumeru City because you planned to find your answers, and the possible prankster, in the House of Daena. Plus, you were really itching for a change in scenery!

So, yes, you won't get defeated by the Crumpled Papers of Fate before you could find a way back home!

"—oh, Collei…did I tell you how much I appreciate your existence? How could I cry in reverie for your benevolent acts? Just say the word, and I would do anything for you, you lovely human being."

Collei, probably used to your strange flare for dramatics, giggled in response and tugged your looped arms together. "I just think you need a change of scenery while recovering, and I know Master Tighnari's lectures could be too much sometimes, even if they come in good faith. Especially when you were recu…recu…um, what does he say again?"

"Recuperating?" You wrinkled your nose and Collei modded cheerfully. You can't really blame her for tripping over words, since most of the Genshin characters, especially those with super rich and scholarly background, used to speak formally and use deep words. The first time a curse slip passed your lips about two days ago, you remember seeing Tighnari's scandalous stare as if you offended his whole vocabulary.

It was also a fun way of teasing him. A small payback for all his lectures about flowers and taking care of yourself.

In any case, he begrudgingly allowed you to come see the Sumeru City along with the other forest rangers. It wasn't a long, arduous trek as you expected it to be, despite not using any Teleport Waypoints, maybe because the journey was an eye-opening one (especially when you saw chests and puzzles that you swore you already gotten before) and your group had tried your best from steering clear of any hilichurl or Eremite camps scattered around the forest.

After dropping you off at the Akademiya grounds, Collei and the other forest rangers told you that they will fetch you later after they're done restocking their supplies, you excitedly went inside, hoping to find some sort of lead or help in solving your crumpled paper predicament. 

Although Katayoun, the librarian, had adamantly asked for your credentials and permits before she let you borrow any books. Apparently, only students are allowed to have access here, but thankfully, Tighnari gave you a letter that he said would be enough for the librarian to let you inside, should you give it to her. 

“—what kind of book do you need, anyhow?” Katayoun finally relented.

“Uh, anything about Teyvat’s ancient language. The one with the alphabet similar to this one, if possible.”

The librarian peered into the two crumpled papers you presented to her, before shaking her head. “Most books about ancient language are strictly available only to students of Haravatat Darshan, and since your permit is from an alumni from Amurta, I apologise if I cannot comply with your request.” 

As she said with no room to complain, you had no choice but to pick other possible books to read that were available for you, stomping and frowning in defeat. But just as you sat on a chair in the farthest corner of the grandest library you ever saw in your life (it was even bigger than the one in-game!!), someone walked towards the seat across yours, waving his hand to you to get your attention.

"Hello! Do you mind if I sit here?" 

You felt as if you had a sudden epiphany, hearing a familiar voice that made your head snapped to him in surprise. You even almost knocked the pile of books you borrowed earlier when your eyes met a pair of sharp, mystic red irises and a tuft of fluffy-looking dirty blond hair. 

You resisted the urge to scream in both panic and excitement as you stiffly shook your head at him. IT'S KAVEH…?!

He coughed to gain your attention. "Ahem, I know it's very unbecoming for a gentleman such as myself but I couldn't help but to…overhear your conversation with our resident lovely librarian earlier. You were looking for books about ancient languages, correct?"

You blinked out of your reverie, slowly nodding at him. "Um, yes. I just need to find some references about…something. Unfortunately, I'm not a scholar from Haravatat to borrow the books I need."

His face lightened up, as if he, too, was hit by epiphany just like you. "Say, Mx…?"

"[Name]..."

"Mx. [Name], did you, perchance, recognise this?" Kaveh fished out something from his pocket and slid it across the table to you. Your eyes widened like saucers when you saw the familiar inscriptions of Runes written into three separate pieces of paper.

"The Crumpled Papers of Fate!" You hissed. "You have it, too?!"

"Yes!" He exclaimed in the same amount of enthusiasm as yours.

"But who the hell sent this?!" 

Kaveh shrugged his shoulders elegantly before resting his elbows on the table and leaning close to you. He playfully beckoned you to inch closer as if he's conspiring something with you. "That's what I want to know as well. All I realised is that the Crumpled Paper of Fate is some sort of code that gives us symbolism over something."

Your brows raised in curiosity. "Symbolism?" 

"It looks like you got two pieces. Though somehow, I got three." He tapped his gloveless finger on the table, the corner of his mouth turning downwards. "One in my pocket, the other was clipped together with my roommate's book in our living room, and the last was stuck in the door of my room. I even accidentally smack my head—"

"—which proves my point that your eyes are made of marbles if you didn't notice the door in your face."

Both you and Kaveh almost jumped from your seats when a deep voice spoke from behind you. Your jaw dropped when you caught sight of the Akademiya's Grand Scribe pulling the chair on your right side before getting himself comfortable on it, placing the books he held on his hands on the table with a soft thud.

WHAT IS ALHAITHAM DOING HERE THIS TIME?!

You were near hyperventilating near two handsome—and former 2D—dudes that was now glaring at each other. Well, more like Kaveh killing Alhaitham with his glares because the Scribe just leisurely opened his book and crossed his legs, seemingly adamant in ignoring his roommate.

And just like every playable character you met so far, and even the NPCs themselves, these two looked so human and real to someone from a game. The finer details from their designs and splash arts were more highlighted and even the contours in their faces are too detailed to be true.

Your eyes briefly glanced at the scribe's arm, and you inwardly whistled in amusement. Wow, those muscular arms could crush my skull. Lololol.

"Oi, Alhaitham! What in Teyvat are you doing here?" Kaveh asked in irritation, his former cool-ish aura vanishing in the instant.

He ignored Kaveh, his light turquoise eyes, highlighted with orange pupils, looked at you for a second and your breath hitched at its intensity. "...I overheard you two talking about the ancient scriptures and codes from the crumpled papers."

Your brows furrowed. "Huh…do you guys have something for eavesdropping or something?" 

He ignored you, too, and fished out three very familiar pieces of paper and slid it together with yours and Kaveh's. "....I suppose this is the reason why you want to borrow books of ancient languages, no? I will give you a hint. All of our papers are written in Runic inscriptions."

"Yeah, yeah, you the great scribe of the Akademiya from the Haravatat Darshan surely knows what it means." Kaveh said, sarcasm lacing his tone like a venom.

You grew more curious. "Where did you find yours?"

"Does it matter?"

You tried again. "And what does the Runic mean?" 

"Kaveh's Crumpled Paper of Fate means Ship, Blind, Light—which is rather suspicious, especially given that Kaveh found one of his papers in my book." Alhaitham said in a matter-of-fact tone, tapping his said book, that made Kaveh rolled his eyes in exasperation. 

"As a matter of fact, the only suspicious thing about that book," the architect scoffed. "...is that it's being held by a drama queen."

The last thing I remember, Kaveh's Vision is Dendro, not Pyro. Lol.

Alhaitham gave an unimpressed, humourless stare at his roommate's spiteful words and you tried suppressing your laughter, remembering Alhaitham's Oscar-like performance in the Archon Quest.

"Anyhow, back to the topic before someone rudely interrupted me. Mine was translated to Eye, Knowledge and Ravens." 

"But what does mine—"

You suddenly halted when a loud thump echoed across the library, and then there's screaming. Before you knew it, several Matra of the Akademiya flooded across the room, startling everyone who was inside.

"A book robbery took place in the library's restricted section. Everyone that stayed in the House of Daena between six in the morning until now, we are expecting your cooperation."

So, that's what happened to your supposedly peaceful morning. You were suddenly caught in the apparent book robbery in the restricted section, and you heard the General Mahamatra was going to interrogate every single person that the Matra caught.

This is not freaking good.

The prospect of meeting Cyno should be wonderful, right? BUT NO. You were on the receiving end of his job right now. And it's not even close to thrilling at all knowing the side of Cyno working that you honestly, do not wish to know.

Well, at least Kaveh and Alhaitham were with you right now. Though with the way they were bickering nonstop, you suddenly wished you could tell them to shut up.

"Theory number ten," Alhaitham muttered to himself; he was sitting so comfortably beside you as if they weren't on your way to the interrogation room. 

"You seriously reached theory ten with your nonsense?" Kaveh bited.

The scribe fished out a notebook from who-knows-where, looking for something. You tried to peek a little, but his muscular arms were in the way and it's embarrassing to inch closer when they didn't even bother introducing themselves to you. "It's possible that whoever sent this has the connection with the three of us—or at least, knows us to some extent. Perhaps wanting to measure our intelligence? For what?"

"Isn't that already obvious?" His roommate impatiently said. "[Name] got their Crumpled Paper of Fate in their own home, we got ours in your dorm, which by the way, only the two of us have access to. Whoever did this surely knew us pretty well."

"This is the reason why you didn't pass in anything other than your courses in Kshahrewar." Alhaitham said. "You always assume things."

"Excuse me, I'm not assuming. I am concluding!" He defended, apparently offended.

"Then don't jump into conclusions even if that's the only workout you do."

"Why you—"

As much as their banter was so amusing to watch, there are more pressing matters you had to know. "But that's impossible. I don't know anyone in this place aside from the Forest Rangers in the Avidya Forest, you know. It's nearly impossible that Tighnari and Collei would do this just to prank us. Though, I always had someone with me, so it's not possible that someone I don't know snuck into my room either…"

"You seem like you always have a witness with you?" Kaveh turned to you.

Alhaitham paused for a second. He blinked slowly, before a subtle smirk slowly pulled from the corner of his lips. "That's it."

"Huh?"

He stood up from his seat. "A witness." He vaguely replied before he went through the door faster than you could blink.

You and Kaveh stared at the door.

Then you two realised what Alhaitham just did.

"Oi, he just ran off without us!" Kaveh exclaimed in anger before tugging your hand to follow his roommate outside. "[Name], let's go before the Matra catches us!"

What in the world did you got yourself into?

Route 1.2.1: Stop Kaveh from escaping. You had a feeling that escaping isn't a good thing, especially since Cyno would probably hunt you down later. What's there to fear when you're innocent, no?

TAGLIST (open! Send a dm or ask to be added :3) | @xinii , @maehemthemisfit , @abvolat , @crazypriestess , @ghostsaysno , @kittence , @unabashedlyminiaturetyrant , @xiyanin , @toasterinabathtub , @sketcheeee , @fuoon , @luvwukong , @salty-salty , @rosebatsc , @inky8 , @thegeekact , @almighty-raiden-shogunate , @isuckat-avery-thing , @perhapsabitgirlypop , @2cuteforyourlies , @stxrgxzxr , @elsoleil , @tsukkinoyya , @mkaella , @celi-alika , @tiffthescales , @blurr3db3rry , @messyserver , @shadowmist0706 , @chin-chii , @observation-subject-753 , @clovers-anxiety , @shizunxie , @lleoll , @shoujishu , @uwu-panic , @forgotten-blues , @chaneylovesfangirling , @enma-reblogs , @cookielovingalien , @iruiji , @samarill , @definitionofsad , @spynerr , @bigcandlesmolbrain , @universal-rose , @feverish-dove , @inlovewithwaffles , @louise-rosita-leroux , @chocogi , @jar-03 , @swaggyb0ke ... (if ur username is bolded, it means i cant tagged u :(( maybe its in ur settings? Also lmk if i missed anyone cause im such an idiot sometimes shsh)

Route 1.2.2: Go with Kaveh to chase Alhaitham. If he escaped, you two would escape along with him! He's the grand scribe and Kaveh is an influential architect, they could get away with this mess with you…right?

[marshallpupfan]

Marshall Merchandise Update!

Got some interesting new additions for my collection to show off today! Eventually, I need to show everything off again... as soon as I get things organized again. I still have items I bought from early last year that I still haven't found a spot for yet. I've been slacking! lol

First off, this lapel pin... being graciously held up by Wolf O'Donnell. There's probably a "can't let you do that" joke in here somewhere, but I can't think of any right off hand. 😅

This was actually sent to me by a friend, who recently paid a visit to Nickelodeon Universe (an indoor theme park). While she was there, she seen this and got it for me, hoping it was something I didn't have. Fortunately, it wasn't! A fine item for my collection, indeed! She'll likely see this post later, so if you're reading this, thank you again!

Actually, I believe she also went a year or two ago and managed to find the Meet & Greet Marshall wandering around. She even got a picture & video with him, too. I was quite envious! 😄

Next, this "magic towel" thing. It's also being held up by another wolf - this time, it's Wolf Link, from "The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess". Can you tell I'm a bit of a Nintendo gamer? lol

Anyhoo, I was just doing some shopping with my mother in a dollar store when I happened to stumble upon this. It was only $1.25, so... why not get it? The artwork isn't the best, but hey, I still like it.

Next, one of those "Good 2 Grow" snack containers! Actually, funny story about this one. I was at a gas station, not expecting to see anything pertaining to PAW Patrol, when I seen one of these that someone left at the front near the cashier. However...

It was actually one of Zuma, which surprised me, since they usually pass him up to focus on the main four. I meant to post about it on Twitter/X, but like usual, I forgot. In any case, I decided to track one down, and I soon found one of Marshall at Walmart. It was the last one, too! Unless I'm mistaken, they also had one of Liberty, so I guess they went beyond just the six original pups this time. Nice!

As you might recall, we've actually seen products like this before, about a year or two ago. Back then, it was just the pups in their regular outfits. This time, they went with a superhero theme, no doubt due to The Mighty Movie. I'm not sure why they went with Super Paws and not the Mighty Movie outfits, but maybe these were easier to mold. Who knows, but hey, I quite like it when older outfits get brought back, instead of them getting forgotten in the sands of time.

I just wish we could see THIS outfit again someday. It had a brief reappearance in that "Mighty Pups Save Adventure Bay" video game, but that's it so far. Sadly, at this point, I doubt we'll ever see it again.

Er... guess I got a little distracted here, sorry!

Last, and absolutely not least, is this brand new item! Something I knew about for many months and couldn't wait to get a hold of one for myself! It's "Storytime with Marshall" by Leap Frog!

(In hindsight, taking these pictures in front of my monitor may not have been the best idea. Hopefully they're not too hard to see. 😅)

This thing is legitimately super awesome! They really got his likeness down so well here! I mean, seriously, just look at it! It's so cute! It's easily one of the best pieces of merch I've got in my collection now!

According to the box, it can do quite a lot. It includes 40+ stories, which I assume are based on various episodes (I haven't listened to them yet, but I also assume they focus on different pups, going by the buttons on the front... yeah, it's a shame there's no Rocky or Zuma again, I know). It has a sleep timer, to help lull the little ones to sleep at night before shutting off and all that. Additionally, it teaches "core learning skills" or something, whatever that means. That's cool and all, but of course, for me, I just wanted it because I absolutely love how it looks. It'll look great on one of my shelves! lol

I'll admit, I'm glad this came out before the new animation style got applied. While I like Marshall's updated season 11 look so far (I might make a separate post about that later), his original design is still my #1 favorite. A part of me hopes to keep collecting more merchandise of THIS Marshall, but I know that, by next year, they'll probably retire this design and start using the new one, permanently. Guess I'll enjoy it while it lasts. 😅

And that's all for now! I currently have another item coming in the mail; Marshall's new Rescue Wheels big wheel vehicle + figurine. It's been delayed, but it's supposed to show up at some point next week. Hopefully, the remaining Rescue Wheels merchandise will show up in stores soon enough, and I'll be able to show them all off soon. I might also have to buy a Boomer figurine, too. lol

[abstractdiagram]

Since I am actually getting a couple of hits on this on Tumblr and I don’t want to post willy-nilly chapter hopping on Ao3 yet, I will post the (very short) Tomarry story prologue I have. It’s subject to change and revision and downright deletion but. I like the feedback I’m getting and it makes me want to see where this goes. So far I’m just writing what all the characters are telling me. I had an idea. They’re like “nah, that’s not it” and they’re off and running. @zenyteehee I’m tagging you as always because I adore you and appreciate your time and attention. (Still singing Breakeven at work and it’s been like two hours!)

August 1st, 2005

Harry finally extricated himself from the rowdy group of birthday well-wishers. Ron had, thankfully, taken on the wrangling of two of the more rambunctious younger Aurors and was in the process of helping them make their stumbling way to a safe apparition point. Hermione had helped gracefully clear out the rest of their Hogwarts cohorts - Neville and Luna had been easy to convince, their attention having been on one another for most of the night. George had left earlier, not saying but everyone knowing that the celebration was hard for him without his twin, but he’d made a valiant effort. Having given hugs all around to those remaining and promising to see them all soon, Harry left the pub and headed out to muggle London.

Breathing in deeply. he relaxed his shoulders and sighed. He wasn’t famous out here. It wasn’t a famous birthday for a celebrated Auror out here. He was just Harry. Sometimes it was good to be just Harry.

London was surprisingly busy at 2:30 in the morning. Some of the pubs had closed and others were preparing to close so lots of drunken muggle foot traffic peppered the streets. He almost wished it was raining so the streets would be more clear. Almost. He walked along taking easy strides, not really headed anywhere except not here.

He didn’t want to go to Grimmauld Place yet. It was a far cry better than it had been in the old days. But it still never felt like home. Kreacher had passed earlier in the year, leaving the place empty. They had become accustomed to one another and more than civil. Almost friendly. When the old elf had failed to turn up one morning Harry had found him curled in his kitchen cupboard with his copy of Regulus’ locker cradled to his chest. Harry buried him in the back yard, as he had buried Dobby, by hand and with a small grave marker denoting “Kreacher, a good and loyal elf.” He didn’t believe in much religion but he hoped that if there was an afterlife that Kreacher would be with his beloved Master Regulus again.

His mind wandered, thinking about the last seven years of his life. He’d been busy since the war. He’d returned to Hogwarts as one of the few and famed 8th years. He’d helped rebuild and re-ward Hogwarts. He had attended funerals and memorials and tributes. He’d passed his NEWTs tolerably well, had completed training, become an Auror as he had planned way back in year five.

Ron had become an Auror as well but after finally marrying Hermione when they turned 22 he’d turned down a lot of field work and did more background work. Harry was sure that several of his brilliant connections and discoveries had more to do with illicit sharing of secret information with Hermione than Ron’s deduction skills but who was he to say a word.

Hermione worked with the ministry in a newly appointed Muggle Liaison position. She was currently lobbying for the introduction of the Wizarding world earlier in a child’s life than their eleventh birthdays, citing her own surprise induction and near disbelief of the situation as evidence. Why give a child (and their families) less than a year – less than a month or even a week in some cases – to become used to not only being magical but becoming part of a whole secret world AND being asked to essentially attend a hidden boarding school away from everyone and everything they know.

Up ahead at the corner, two women were tittering and wobbling on their heels. Their bright laughter echoed down the street. He quirked a half smile. They seemed like they were having a good night. He slowed his approach, not wanting to be alarming, but they didn’t notice him at any rate. When he was three yards away their signal changed and they stumbled and giggled their way into the zebra crossing. His instincts and reflexes flared a moment later.

To the ladies’ left a car came barreling down the road. Without thinking Harry bolted into the street, pushing himself to make it in time. He hit the ladies square in their backs, forcing them forward and onto their knees and hands on the far side of the street while the car that had run the light slammed into his side.

He didn’t hear the women screaming. He didn’t see the flashers of the EMS or the shell shocked man being dragged from his drivers seat as he stuttered, “‘E came outta nowhere! I swear!” He didn’t feel it as he was hustled away into an ambulance bound for hospital.

The next day a muggle newspaper ran a small story about an unknown man that had saved two women from being run down by a drink-driver in the wee hours. The Daily Prophet ran a front page story “The Boy Who Lived Twice Nearly Killed by Muggle Vehicle!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[barmadumet]

💐 happy Valentine ❤️

Thank you so SO much! You have no idea how thankful I am for sweet anon messages today. It’s been a rough one.

I am finally home; I had stayed with my parents a few nights helping my mom take care of my dad post triple bypass surgery. It was very hard to leave. Earlier today, we had him up and moving, and he blacked out and fell.

I am so glad I was there; I was able to help my mom brace him and get him safely to the floor, so we could wait for paramedics to arrive.

I am so drained, physically and emotionally. It’s hard to believe two weeks ago, I was just arriving in Orlando and looking forward to a fun weekend. Life has been so chaotic and stressful since then, going back and forth from state to state and lacking sleep from all the worry. Time is quickly and frightfully passing me by.

The most challenging part about this is the distance my parents have created between us. Many of you know the background… For 35 years, my parents were literally my best friends. Then, about 21 months ago, they decided to move away. The fact that they are across state lines now, and no longer a 3 minute drive from my house, has made this so much more difficult. And unfortunately the distance these last almost 2 years, isn’t just physical. We aren’t the family we once were. It’s complicated and strained. And every day I still have to fight the feelings of abandonment and rejection - that worthless feeling that tells me I never truly mattered to them the way I once thought.

More than ever, I am so incredibly grateful for everyone here. You guys give me the strength to go on when I so often feel like I have nothing left after so many impactful losses in such a short span of time.

Happy Palentines Day ❤️ I wish I could give each and every one of you a big hug AND a grand box of chocolates and cuddly teddy bear! (Bear n shit lol) 🍫 💝 🐻

Love you all so much 💘

[cpcwiki]

⚠ WIKI AD INCOMING ⚠

Hi, everyone! @mechanical-clown here on a new blog! That's right, it's the Real Official CPC Wiki Social Media Account here!! B) Unfortunately I do not have good news to deliver

It's been a hot minute since my last ad and I do want you all to know I'm still sorry for doing this. Unfortunately, again, how bad I feel making another ad is outweighed by how much the wiki needs more help. I've been feeling especially desperate lately because of the fact that CPC is ending soon, and there are many tasks that will be made harder if it's put on daily pass. So, in my cry for effort to get help, here's an explanation of what I believe is our biggest issue and a rundown of things that currently need to be done! Again I am sorry. This could take a while

If you were fortunate enough to not have seen this post last time, the Cursed Princess (Club) Wiki needs help if it wants to be complete any time soon. Kind of a lot of it. As we all know, cpcblr's very active and prolific in content and the wiki's typically... not. To seriously get into this, the only three active editors in the past month or two have been me, @the-neighbors-kid (aka cursed-princess-club), and Ama (not sure if she wants to be tagged but we all know her!). Shoutout to you two because you are actually the best thank you I love you /pl <3

Anyways, there are already a lot of things we need to do to fix up the wiki. Thankfully, accessing any episode for any information you'd like is easy! And it will continue to be that easy after CPC ends, because Webtoon doesn't feel the need to limit how many episodes a person can view, right? Right? ...Yeah, so, uh, daily pass exists.

As of the time I'm writing this, there are ~10 episodes left in CPC (forgot the exact number lol). Assuming there are no hiatuses, that's only 10 more weeks, or 2 and a half months - and that's pretty soon! While there is a chance that CPC might not have daily pass after it ends, it's a small one. And, to me, that sounds like a huge problem!! If CPC is put on daily pass, accessing episodes will become much more difficult. Looking for a certain character's appearances, adding images, even just finding a single reference - it'll take a day to unlock the needed episode, and that episode will be gone in 2 weeks. The best solution to this problem would probably be to just use physical copies of CPC to find things, but those aren't available to everyone.

And adding images with daily pass episodes? As a reminder, screenshotting while viewing an episode on daily pass is taken as a sign of piracy. Screenshotting, the way we get images for the wiki. I've tried poring through Webtoon's terms of use to find some answer about whether publicly posting such screenshotted images would be illegal, but there's no mention of daily pass, and the text is so dense it's hard for me to tell. (I want to say I'll take a second look at it sometime, but that's probably just going to go into my list of permanently-unfinished priorities. I doubt the physical copies would be a good alternative to screenshots, either.) Regardless, I don't want to take any chances with the law, or see however Webtoon would punish us on the chance they find our frightening screenshots. Thus, another top priority of mine is to add more images and complete more galleries before CPC ends.

Oh, yeah, and that's barely even scratching the surface! Here's more stuff we need to do, presented in an appealing (classic Mocha iykyk) bulleted list:

A major thing is filling in episode pages. Episodes 40-around 110 are basically blank - no synopsis, character list, summary, or extra information. This is the task that would likely be least burdened by the addition of daily pass, but in my opinion, it's still of the absolute highest priority.

Galleries, which display images of characters, locations, or episodes. While not generally that important, I do think it'd be a good idea to fill out mostly empty ones now - you know, since taking screenshots of CPC may become illegal in the future! Most characters have a good amount of images on their pages, thankfully (the pastel sisters have so many they were the first to get separate gallery pages); some, including Jack and Leland, have very few. Episode pages and locations often have way less, though those aren’t as important

Relationship sections for a number of characters. These involve write about characters’ relationships, though in a way that mainly describes their interactions throughout the episodes without expressing any specific opinions. Some major sections that need to be written/updated include Jamie and Leopold; Jolie and Nell; Leland and really everyone on his page but especially Jack; Jack and Lilyth; Suzanna and Lance/Lorena; the Plaid Princes with each other; and more! Many more!

History sections for a number of characters. In a similar vein to relationship sections, these just detail a character’s appearances in the story, as well as their past or other mentions of them. Examples of (mostly - Isolde's isn't fully updated yet) completed history sections include Whitney’s, Isolde’s, and Monika’s! Examples of incomplete sections include virtually everyone else’s.

You might be wondering why I, a wiki admin (in case I haven't said it enough) am not doing any of these things! That’s because I'm neglectful and pretty bad at my job. I will not sugarcoat that part anymore. As much as I love the wiki (it's where I met my best friend after all, and while I'm writing this they just went offline so he can get fucked /j) I don't have motivation to work on it very often. Really, I don't have motivation to work on much nowadays! Ama's been doing the virtually thankless job of keeping the wiki up for the past couple months, and I've been mostly absent. The wiki is only remotely as active as cpcblr because of her. I feel terrible about it, but I'd rather be writing this 9-paragraph cry for help than editing, so, uh... yeah this is a public apology to Ama. I am so sorry. I know this isn't very professional but I'm incapable of being professional about the wiki tbh

TL;DR: As CPC is ending soon, the impending threat of daily pass could take away the ability to look at episodes whenever you want, which would make wiki editing much harder. We seriously need editors to join us in finishing the wiki. Please at least consider helping us!! Any way you can is appreciated - even if you can only make very few edits, I'll be immensely grateful for your support :)

If you have any questions about anything wiki-related, contact me!! My Discord's at musicitself, and you can also always DM me on here! And here's an invite to our wiki Discord server, too!! Of course, you don't have to become a wiki editor to join, but (as was the point of this entire post) I would really really REALLY love if you did. Thank you so much for reading this long, and have a great day!

[samwinchesterswifu]

One Last Breath (Dean Winchester x Reader)

Requested: No

Set in Season 5

Warnings: Angst, Talks of suicide and SH

Song Inspiration: “One Last Breath” by Creed

A/n: Hi yall! It’s been SUCH a long time since I’ve last wrote any fanfiction and posted it here to Tumblr. My writings are a bit wonky, and the themes are a bit dark but it is pre-apocalypse Dean. I hope you enjoy! Summary: Y/N has had enough of Deans antics, especially after forgetting that it was their anniversary. She decides to leave him, until receiving a voicemail from the man himself that he was going to give himself up to Michael.

These last few weeks have been rough on her handsome boyfriend. The apocalypse booming over the brothers’ heads, the choice to say yes to Michael, the only chance to save humanity and to save Sam from the worst fate that he could think of at the time. He became distant, rougher, and overall broken. His kisses, hugs, and cuddles are becoming less and less. Then came their anniversary. Where he barely acknowledged her all day and skidded out of their motel room early into the evening without saying a word. The Impala made a screeching sound like it stood in protest of the man’s decision.

            This broke her. The man she grew to love felt like he grew to resent her. Sliding down the side of the bed, a violent sob wrecked through her chest. Her hands folding into her heart to hold it. Leaning her head back on the shitty motel room she couldn’t help but just let the tears flow, and her cries be let out. One thought raced through her mind in this moment. Something she never thought she would think of. But the ideations came through so loud she couldn’t ignore them. If he doesn’t love you, end it. He doesn’t deserve you, end it. Spare yourself. Her cries grew stronger, almost felt like she was choking on her own snot. Then there was a knock at the door. Quickly picking herself up and trying to wipe away the tears that unfortunately kept falling no matter how hard she tried to stop, she grudgingly makes her way towards the door. Opening it a crack, Sam stands in the doorway.

            A soft smile forms his face in a comforting manner. She quickly pulls him into the room, collapsing instantly into his muscled body. He drags her to the edge of the bed. After adjusting comfortably, she bursts into tears even harder. This was the most skin-on-skin interaction she has gotten in practically months, and it felt good to touch another human. Sam felt warm and safe. After a while they find themselves in a cuddled position. She passed out, exhausted from all the crying and Sam couldn’t bear to let her go. The sun had fully set at this point, and Dean had yet to return.

            Nearing close to midnight, Sam finally sees the Impala lights pull into the window. But he doesn’t move an inch. Dean slams open the door, drunk and falling over himself. Stopping at the sight of Sam and his girlfriend. Gripping the beer bottle tight in his hand, he’s overcome with rage.

            “What the fuck do you think you’re doing with my girlfriend?” Dean’s angry voice booms around the room to the point that it startles her awake.

            Seeing Dean in the state that he’s, she was terrified. Sam got up from their position ready to defend her.

            “Comforting her like you should’ve been,” Sam spats towards Dean.

            “What does that even mean? She’s fine!” She really couldn’t believe the words coming from his mouth.

            “Clearly, she’s not. Do you even remember what today is for you two?” Sam was shaking with rage at this point.

            “No, I really don’t!” Dean says stepping up to Sam, like he was ready to through punches.

            “It was your guy’s anniversary! 3 fucking years together and you couldn’t even remember!” Sam took another step towards Dean, their chests almost touching at this point.

            “What-“ Dean says, the beer bottle slipping from his hand.

            “Wow,” She speaks up from where she stood. Both boys’ heads snapping in her direction.

            “You really didn’t remember?” She says, letting out a soft laugh. Dean gulps at her statement. He shook his head in agreement.

            She let out a scoff. Her heart finally breaking in one piece. After sitting down to put her shoes on, she turns to grab her bag. Which was a small black backpack and red duffle that consisted of her things. Walking towards the door, ignoring both boys, Dean grabs her arm to stop her.

            “Where do you think you’re going?” Dean asks, the smell of alcohol pungent on his tongue.

            “I’m leaving you,” she states, staring at him blankly. His grip tightens.

            “No,” Dean whispers. For once sounding heartbroken.

            “Too late, come on Sam.” she says, snatching her arm from his grip. Dean looks puzzled at his brother.

            Dean stands in disbelief as he watches not only the love of his life, but his brother walking out on him. She walks towards her own vehicle which was a ’69 SS Chevelle. Which was gifted to her by her father, Bobby. Throwing her things in the back seat, she hands her keys to Sam. He nods, understanding exactly where they needed to go, Bobby’s. She didn’t care what Dean was going to do in the meantime. Was he going to try to find them and make amends, or what.

            But her and Sam drove into the night. Sam was such a gentleman to her this whole time on the road. Slightly holding onto her hand as they drove. At some point she fell asleep, just completely exhausted from the earlier events, and needed an escape. They arrive to Bobby’s just as the sun rose. Apparently it seemed like Bobby was wide awake, as he greeted them at the door. She wondered if Dean had called. Though upon seeing her father with arms wide open, she could feel the tears fall again. Rushing to his side, she let him engulf her. Bobby let out quiet shh’s.

            “What happened kiddo?” Bobby asked looking down at her.

            “Dean,” Sam pipped up from behind them.

            “I’m gunna kill that boy.” Bobby said through gridded teeth. She shook her head in protest.

            “It’s not worth it dad. He’s too far gone.” Bobby sighed at her statement, turning to guide her back into her childhood home.

            Sam followed suit behind them. Carrying both her and his things. Sam watches as she makes her way upstairs, presumably to her bedroom. Setting down bags, Sam hears Bobby call him to the living room.

            “What happened Sam? I’ve never seen her this upset.” Bobby finishes his sentence, grabbing a bottle of his favorite whiskey.

            “Yesterday was their anniversary. I saw Dean leave early, and I could hear her crying from their room. I went to go check on her and she was a mess. She had a knife in her hands Bobby.” Sam sighs, settling into the couch. Running his hands through his hair and gripping a few strands out of frustration.

            “Oh god,” Bobby knew she struggled with self-harm in the past.

            “But then Dean came back, it was midnight and he was hammered. She had just fallen asleep, and he scared the shit out of her. He got angry that I was comforting her. He had no idea it was even their anniversary and she just finally broke. And so, we drove all night. I knew she needed to be home.” Sam finishes, and he was practically on edge of tears.

He was angry and frustrated not only with her, but all the pent-up emotions over Dean came rushing back. Sam cared about her like a sister. Sure, Sam found her attractive, but growing up he watched her, and Dean become obsessed over each other. He knew he stood no chance over Dean.

“Well thank you son. Thank you for bringing her home, go get you some rest.” Bobby says, then taking a sip of his whiskey. Sam could tell he was worried about her.

Nodding, Sam got up. He trudged his way upstairs. Walking towards her room, he peaked inside. She was under her covers; the bear Dean had won for her at a carnival when they were 18 tucked tightly under her arms. Sam smiled and turned to shut the door. But a small voice caught his attention.

“Sam?” She whispered, leaning up slightly now.

“Hey,” He responded to her quietly.

“Come here.” Sleep was evident in her voice, but in that moment, she wanted nothing more than Sam to be by her side.

Sam contemplated it for a moment before sighing, fully entering her room. He kicks off his shoes and slides into her bed behind her. He throws his arm around her waist, and they settle into a comfortable position for them both. She was out faster than he was.

“Y/N”

“Y/N”

Deans voice echoed in her dream. Suddenly she was standing in front of him. It was back in the motel room from the previous day. Dean was sitting on the edge of the bed, another bottle of beer in fingers that were also clutching his hair. Looking around, the motel room looked destroyed. Picture frames broke, the lamp shattered. She wanted to reach out to him, hold him, but she couldn’t. As much as she wanted to touch him, she couldn’t bear to look at him. Then, Dean snaps his head up, almost like he could see her there. He reaches out to touch her, but as his hand connects with her skin, she shoots out of bed.

Sam was no longer next to her and Castiel stood in front of her bed. She throws a book that was by her bedside at him. Castiel winces as it makes a hard thud against his chest.

“What the fuck Castiel! Why are you just watching me like Edward?” Castiel cocks his head in confusion at her statement and she sighs. He still didn’t understand the pop-culture references her and Dean made often.

“Dean asked me to come check on you,” Looking around, Castiel was confused on where she was. But she was frozen at hearing Dean’s name.

“Where are you?” Castiel asks.

“My bedroom?” She says puzzled.

“Oh, well Dean-“ Castiel begins and she stops him.

“Please don’t tell him where I am.” She states, looking down in defeat.

“But I promised.” Castiel sounded like a child standing in between to parents who were constantly fighting.

“Just please?” She looked up at him, eyes foggy like she was ready to cry again.

“Ok,” He sighs. Then suddenly he was gone.

Sniffling, she gets up and changes into a comfortable pair of leggings. Looking around to find some sort of jacket to wear, she sees that Sam forgot to grab his flannel. Debating on whether to wear it, she decides to and slips it over her small arms. The flannel was engulfing her. But it smelt nice, and it was warm. Which was the goal overall. She also digs around her drawers to find a pair of fuzzy socks, slipping those on as well. Wondering what the time was, she grabbed her phone from the nightstand, it was around 4pm at this point. There was a missed call from Dean, with a voice mail attached. She stared at it for a moment before deciding at the moment it wasn’t worth it to listen.

She begins to make her way downstairs. Some sort of BBQ sauce fills the air. Making her way towards the kitchen, she sees Sam at the dinner table. A bag of BBQ from her favorite local restaurant was waiting for her.

“I thought you might like something to eat.” Sam states, a smile forming on his lips.

“Wait is that my flannel?” Sam asks before she even took a step.

“Yeah, I hope its okay that I’m wearing it, I was cold.” she said sheepishly, shuffling her feet in the process.

“That’s fine.” Sam smiles at her.

She makes her way to the table as Sam digs out the box he got for her. Digging in her stomach growled. It had been at least a day since she had last eaten.

“Where’s dad?” She asks, looking around to find that the older hunter wasn’t there.

“He said he needed to get out for a moment and that he’d be back.” Sam says, taking a sip of his beer.

She shrugs. After a few minutes, she finishes her meal, sipping on a glass of water to help wash it all down. Sam had already finished, so she got up and began cleaning the table. Bobby was never good at chores, so typically she was the one who had to clean up after. She didn’t mind.  At this point, the sun had set fully. Sam had settled into the living room, putting on some random program on the T.V. Curiosity continued to eat at her. She still loved Dean, and the fact that there was that dream, and Castiel and the voicemail, she couldn’t help wondering what Dean had to say.  Saying goodnight to Sam, she makes her way back up to her bedroom. She sits on the edge of her bed, clicking on the voicemail and holding the phone to her ear.

Sweetheart,

Her breath hitches at his voice. His favorite nickname for her. He sounded out of breath, maybe the dream was right and he had just destroyed the motel room.

I am so sorry. I know sorry doesn’t cut it, but I can barely breathe without you here. I’ve been neglecting you for a while now and I just –

Dean hiccups and coughs like he was crying as well.

I’m going to go say yes. A package will arrive at Bobby’s for you. It’ll have baby’s keys in it, and my favorite leather jacket. I’m doing to this to save you, to save the world, I love you so much –

The voicemail cuts off. Her breathing is hitched and her heart pounding in her ears. Throwing off Sam’s flannel and throwing on a sweater and her shoes, she runs downstairs to see that Sam was still watching the television but shoots to his feet when he sees her panicked.

“Y./N? What’s wrong?” He asks concerned.

“Deans –“ She says, trying to catch her breath.

“He left me a voicemail, he said he’s going to say yes to Michael tonight. It’s suicide!” She starts to pace, the panic feeling in her heart making her want to puke.

“Oh no, he can’t!” Sam walks towards her.

“Castiel!” She blurts out. But after a few minutes he doesn’t show. Again, she calls out.

“Cas! Please! Help me here!” Then a woosh is heard behind her, turning to see the angel in question.

“How can I help you?” he asks curiously.

“Dean is going to say yes tonight. Please, lock on to him, take me there,” She was on the verge of tears again.

“Okay.” Castiel says and grab her arm. Next thing she knew she was outside an abandoned warehouse.

Drawing her gun, another gift from Dean. She pushes an open door, quietly making her way down a hallway where she can hear two faint voices talking. Getting closer to what she presumed was the main open room to the warehouse, the voices became clear. It was Dean talking to Zacharia.

“Now, are you sure you want to do this?” Zacharia asks.

“Please,” Dean voice sounded so weak.

Picking up her pace, she slams open a door that leads to the main room, startling both men.

“Dean no!” She shouts, earning a sigh from Zacharia.

“Get out of here little girl!” Zach says, flickering his wrist to throw her to the ground.

“No,” she whispers but it echoes through the room, feeling enough strength to somehow push pass his angel strength. Having a hand in front of her, she pushes herself up.

“What?” Zach says angrily, flickering back to the ground.

This time both of her arms were in front of her, pushing past the force, she fully pushed her torso up.

“I. Said. No.” she says through the struggle of resisting.

“How are you doing that?” Zach was clearly confused just as both her and Dean were.

How was she powerful enough to get past an angel’s force? Was this Castiel’s doing, and he was hidden, or maybe this was god himself? After placing her knee in a position to hold herself up, she gives one final push. Finally breaking free of Zach’s grasp sending the angel stumbling back.

“No! I almost had him!” Zach growls, not ready to accept defeat. He tried to flicker her back down, but she was able to ground herself. Fighting against the force, she makes her way towards Dean.

“This is what you want.” She starts taking another step towards him.

“I know you Dean Winchester, I understand now.” Another step.

“You were distancing yourself but you didn’t have to me like that.” Another one.

“I know –“ Dean croaks out.

“Let me help you, stop pushing me away.” She was so close to him.

“Let yourself love me without fear.” She was reaching out to him at this point.

“Let me love you.”

She crashes into him. Zach screams in anger as he’s pushed back. She looks into Dean’s eyes, as he holds her tightly. They were filled with so much pain and regret. She finally crashes her lips into his. Tasting the salt that heavily coated them from the night he spent crying. Dean grips her waist was so much force she felt like she was going to pop. She loops her arms around his neck, bringing him as close as possible. The kiss grew desperate, and hungry. They were lost in each other. So lost that they didn’t even see Zach burst into a bright light and disappear. Leaving them alone in the big empty warehouse.

After what felt like forever, she pulled away to catch her breath. Dean still tries to fish for her lips and she couldn’t help but smile. He finally opened his eyes and he just seemed like he was in awe.

“Baby,” Dean whispers to her. It felt genuine. Like she finally had her Dean back.

“How did you find me?”

“Castiel.” She smiled at him, earning a small laugh.

“Speaking of which,” she also states just as the angel himself appeared in front of them.

He grabs on to both, transporting them back to the original motel room. Which was indeed destroyed. The package Dean had yet to send sitting neatly on their shared bed. Finally letting go of each other, she goes to unravel the package. Dishing out the jacket and whatever Dean placed in there, including Baby’s keys. Instructing Dean to turn around, she places his leather jacket on him. Assisting him with putting it on. She kisses his back, and he turns to face her.

Dean was still sad, and that was evident. The guilt was heavy on his eyes. He goes to say something but gets cut off.

“You don’t have to apologize anymore. Please, just never ever have something like this last day happen again. I can’t take another heart break Dean.” She sighs. Tears start to swell again.

“Never again, I promise.” Dean says smiling down at her. Giving his bicep a squeeze, she grabs his bag that included his belongings.

“Let’s go home,” She whispers.

Dean nods in agreement. Taking her hand, he leads her towards the Impala. Opening the door for her to let her in, Dean slings his bag in the back. Closing his door he goes to the driver’s side, getting in himself. Turning on the engine, Baby coming into a light purr, they begin their adventure back to Bobby’s. Once reaching the highway, Dean reaches out for her hand, holding it in place for the rest of the drive.

[the-halfling-prince]

Tw pet death

I don't usually like talking about like venty stuff on here but anyway

We had to put down one of our dogs today. He was 16 years old, probably almost 17. Yeah, impressive as hell, especially for a big dog.

I've had that dog since before either of my sisters were born, and I faintly remember being three, and driving with my dad all the way to another state to get him, because his owners were going to put down this poor 8 month dog down unless they found someone else to take him. We were going to take him and find another home for him, my mum had just lost her dog to cancer and didn't feel ready to get another one. Yeah, that clearly didn't work out.

when he was two, he had cancer on his throat. After getting him the surgery to remove it, the vet said that the cancer might show back up and even if not, he might have only a few years left. Bro said 'yeah right whatever' and lived 14 more years.

When he got older, he was always in really good shape for an older dog. His depth perception was off and he couldn't catch things like he used to, and he might accidentally bite your hand when giving him a treat, but he was literally the best dog.

But within the past month or two, he's been rapidly declining. He wouldn't eat nearly anything, and he was having a hard time walking around. He was becoming nearly skin and bones. This past week he hadn't been drinking a lot of water either. Today while I was at work, my mum called me to tell me he couldn't even stand. I told her to pick me up from work early.

We sat there on the floor next to him, and he wouldn't even eat his favorite treat (off-brand goldfish crackers that are shaped like turtles from Aldi) from my hand. We both knew the right decision to make, but it was hard as hell to finally act on it. But my mum called the vet and they had us come in an hour later to put him to sleep.

I had never done that before. Our past several dogs that had passed had died in their sleep, but we couldn't keep putting it off for this guy. He wasn't going to last much longer. It probably would've been within the next week, and it wouldn't have been comfortable, I really believe that.

My sister stayed home, my other sister came with us and then waited in the car, so it was just my mum and I in the room with him.

And I don't know... I just feel really icky about the entire thing. I think it's just because I really don't remember a time when we didn't have this dog, I don't have many memories from before I was 4. And my sisters never knew a time without him, since again we've had him since my mum was pregnant with my middle sister.

I don't do well with death at all. I mean, I doubt I'm special in that regard, I just really don't do well with it.

I want there to be a point to this post. I want to end this entire thing with some profound conclusion about beauty and love and shit but I really just wanted to talk. That feels weird lol. Like I don't think I ever make posts like this without ending it with a line that.makes me think "wow I'm such a poet" I don't want to be poetic I just want to get it all out. Maybe that's the point, yeah? Just getting it all out.

We only have one dog in our house. That is the least amount we've had like ever, at least in my memory. Honestly it felt weird just having two. Because up until last December, we had four. Then we were down to two in May. And now one. And she's not even a family dog, she's mine, and I'm taking her when I move out in a few years. My sister had been begging for a new dog ever since the last one passed, and my mum has been saying no, and I kinda want to know what her answer would be now.