#it’s fun i don't know!!! even if the nats are kind of not great right now. or ever

[walterdecourceys]

can i make a really awful confession which is that over the past month i've somehow become a baseball fan. my friend took me to a nats game and i enjoyed it weirdly a lot and now i've been like vaguely keeping up with the scores. i'm really really mad about this

[flowersforbucky]

devil's in the backseat

bucky barnes x reader

word count: 3.7k

summary/prompt: a night at coney island with your friends turns out much differently than expected.

or getting fucked in front of a mirror

author's note: this is my first halloween fic!! this was so much fun to write. if you've read haunting adeline, then you know exactly what inspired the mirror maze scene! also disclaimer i have never been to coney island so if any of this is inaccurate then just pretend ok it's fiction :))

warnings/tags: smut, 18+ only content, sex in a public setting, mirror sex, oral (female receiving), unprotected p in v, friends to lovers, romanogers makes an appearance! kind of grumpy!reader, protective bucky, random men being creepy, language, reader is afab, she/her pronouns, reader pov, no use of y/n, porn with a little plot, fluff

my masterlist

“I can't fucking believe I let you talk me into wearing this.”

You tug the tight, cherry red colored velvet fabric of the babydoll dress in place for the dozenth time since arriving at Coney Island.

“What? You look hot. Plus, our costumes go great together.”

Natasha's costume mirrors your own - except hers is a pearlescent white and instead of a pitchfork and horns, she dons angel wings and a halo.

“I don't feel hot. I feel cold. It's fifty degrees and the sun hasn't even set yet.” If it wasn't for the black thigh high boots that cover the majority of your legs, you'd be shivering in the chilly late October weather.

“It's not my fault that you put off getting a costume until the last minute and had to pick through what little was left at Spirit Halloween,” she mumbles, passing you one of the cups of apple cider that the cashier hands to her. You gladly accept, sucking down the hot liquid in hopes that it will warm you from the inside.

Her phone dings as the two of you walk towards the rides. “It's Steve,” she informs you as she reads the text message. “They just got here,” she looks back up at you with a smirk on her face and a mischievous gleam in her eye. “Bucky decided to come with them.”

You roll your eyes, suddenly hating your borderline provocative costume even more.

“I thought he was leaving for a job in Denver this evening?”

It's not that you didn't want to see Bucky. It's that you didn't want to see Bucky dressed like this. As if you don't already get flustered around him when you're dressed in normal, everyday clothing. The hem of your dress barely conceals the curve of your ass and your tits are practically spilling over the low neckline.

“Guess it's been postponed,” she shrugs, nudging you with her shoulder.

The two of you turn to look in the opposite direction when a familiar voice calls your names. You see Steve, Sam, and Bucky walking towards you. Steve is dressed as a pirate, eyepatch and all. Sam wears a cowboy costume with an oversized hat, concealing the upper half of his face entirely.

And Bucky? Bucky wears jeans and a navy blue Henley.

Yeah, you're regretting any of your life choices that lead up to this moment.

“Well, well, well,” Sam drawls as he tips his hat back enough to take in yours and Natasha’s outfits. “Look what we have here. An angel and a devil. Have you two already entered the costume contest for best duo or should I go add your names?”

“You wouldn't dare,” you scold him. Natasha just laughs, falling into Steve’s embrace as he plants a kiss to her forehead.

“We should, you know,” Natasha agrees. “I think we'd have a pretty good shot at winning.”

“Yeah, right,” you retort, looking around at some of the more elaborate, creative costumes that many of the strangers around you are sporting. You notice a man and woman dressed as Beetlejuice and Lydia Deetz and know that you and Nat wouldn't stand a chance in a costume contest. “And what about you?” You acknowledge Bucky, your eyes skimming up and down his civilian clothes. “Didn't have time to pull together a costume?”

He smirks, his eyes trailing up your figure for a heated moment before he responds. “I'll have you know that I am in costume, actually.”

Steve and Sam both snort in laughter.

“Oh yeah? And what are you supposed to be, exactly?”

He tugs up the sleeve of his shirt, showing off the shiny vibranium that is his left arm.

“I'm the Winter Soldier,” he says with a smug grin. “Obviously.”

“How creative,” you praise sarcastically.

“Cut me some slack,” he feigns insult. “I was supposed to be halfway to Colorado right now. I didn't have time to pull together anything too cute.” His eyes flicker to your dress and boots at the word cute. If anyone else notices, they say nothing.

“What are we doing just standing around here?” Natasha exclaims, tugging Steve in the direction of the rides and games. “I want to ride every ride and eat funnel cake.”

They race ahead of the rest of you, with Sam close behind, leaving you and Bucky to fall into step beside each other.

“So, why did your mission get postponed?” You ask casually, trying to fight down the nerves that threaten to bubble over every time you're alone with him.

“Beats me,” he shrugs. “Fury didn't give much of an explanation. I got the text as I was loading my bags into the car to head out.”

“That's annoying,” you mumble, swallowing the remnants of your hot apple cider. “I'm sorry,” you tell him with a glance in his direction. “I'm sure it was for a good reason.”

He shrugs. “I'm here, so I can't be too mad about it.”

Before you can overthink exactly what he means by that, you're both brought to a halt when a jolly looking man in a Ghostbusters costume steps directly in front of you, blocking your path.

“This little devil looks like she needs a giant sloth!” He exclaims, gesturing towards the prizes hanging above the balloon darts station next to you.

“Oh, no,” you start. “That’s okay–”

“Come on!” The red-faced vendor insists, looking at Bucky. “Don't you want to win your girl a giant sloth? Perhaps a giant giraffe? If she was mine, I'd be winning her any prize she wants. I'll give you five throws for ten doll–”

“Fine, fine,” Bucky relents, digging into his back pocket for his wallet. You notice a faint hint of pink blooms along the apples of his cheeks, but he doesn't correct the man when he calls you his girl. “You've worn me down,” he sighs as he shoves a crumpled ten dollar bill into the man's hand.

The man accepts the money with a satisfied, toothy grin and hands Bucky five darts.

“If you get three out of the five throws, you can choose a prize from here,” the man gestures towards a section of smaller prizes. “And if you get all five throws, you can choose–”

The man is cut off by the sharp popping sound of a balloon, and then a second, and a third, until all five darts have been impaled on the board in a consecutive line in a matter of seconds.

“She'll take the bunny,” Bucky tells him before he can erase the stunned look off of his face. He points to a large, flop-eared purple bunny hanging from the upper row of prizes.

Unlike the vendor, you aren't shocked by his perfect aim at all. Anyone who knows Bucky would have known that he wouldn't miss a single shot. You are shocked, however, that he chose the bunny without even asking which prize you want.

The man in the Ghostbusters costume grabs the bunny and hands it to you, surprise still etched on his face. He mumbles a quick goodnight before he's moving onto the next people approaching the stand.

“How did you know I'd want the bunny?” You ask Bucky, trying to juggle the stuffed animal, your empty cup of cider, and your pitchfork all in your arms.

“You like bunnies, right? It was an educated guess.” He shrugs, moving through a thick crowd of people away from the game stations. “Here, let me carry it for you,” he offers when he notices the large stuffed animal is obstructing your vision. You hand it over to him and he tucks it underneath his metal arm.

“Thank you,” you tell him, your cheeks heating at the realization that he'd remembered such an inconsequential piece of information about you. You do like bunnies. The cold night air suddenly feels a lot more balmy.

“I'm - uh - I'm going to find a trash can real quick,” you say as you wiggle the empty cup in your hand. Truthfully, you just need a moment to collect yourself.

You begin walking in the opposite direction before he can reply, your eyes scanning the throng of people for a garbage can.

So what if he knows that you like bunnies? It's a pretty trivial fact that probably means nothing. You know that Natasha’s favorite animal is flamingos - because she's your friend. It's normal for friends to know things that their friends like.

Right? Right.

“I like that outfit a whole lot, baby. But I think you'd look even cuter in just the boots and those horns.”

You're so lost in your internal monologue that you don't even notice two men closing in on you as you toss the empty cup into a trash can. Unlike most of the people here tonight, neither of them are in costumes. They stand so close to you that you can smell booze on their breath.

“Oh, fuck off,” you groan as you attempt to walk away, but they've effectively blocked you between their bodies and the large garbage can behind you. Wicked grins grow on their faces as you realize that you can't get by them.

“Look, I don’t have the patience for this tonight. Get out of my fucking way.”

“Or what?” One of them taunts. “You'll use that little pitchfork on us? Jokes on you, because we're into that.”

“What if I used it on you?” A familiar voice comes from behind them. “Would you still like that?”

Before they can even turn around to identify the voice, Bucky is pulling him back by the hood of his sweatshirt and throwing him on the ground with little to no effort. The other one attempts to stumble away as Bucky turns his attention to him.

He still has your bunny clutched in his flesh hand - despite the seriousness of the situation, you have to bite your lip to keep from smirking at the sight. You don't know of anyone who could be quite as intimidating while holding a stuffed purple bunny.

“What about you?” Bucky asks, towering over the guy by half a foot. “You got anything you wanna say?”

“I - no - we didn't know she was with someone,” he half slurs, half stutters out. His gaze flickers to Bucky's vibranium hand. The man on the ground manages to stand back up, following after his friend.

“Now you know,” Bucky calls after them as they quickly hobble away.

“I had that handled, you know,” you tell Bucky with a nod towards your pitchfork. “But thank you, anyway. Really.”

He places a gentle but firm grasp on the top of your arms and begins to tug you in the opposite direction, guiding you through the small crowd that had stopped to witness the altercation.

“I have no doubt about that,” he sighs, releasing his grip on you when the two of you are a reasonable distance away. “But I also don't doubt that you handling it would have drawn even more attention.”

He's right. If he hadn't stepped in, your method of handling it would have been even more dramatic.

“They would have deserved it,” you mumble. “I knew I shouldn't have worn this stupid costume.”

“They definitely would have deserved it,” he agrees. “And your costume isn't stupid. You should be able to wear any costume you like without getting harassed by drunk assholes.”

The two of you approach the ferris wheel as it comes to a slow stop, a couple getting out of one of the cars. You and Bucky flash your wristbands to the operator, who offers to hold your pitchfork for you while you’re on the ride.

“Besides,” he continues as you sit down next to each other in the car, the operator locking the gate in place. “I happen to like your costume. A lot.” He turns his head to you, his gaze trailing from the tops of your thigh high boots and up to the felt horns that adorn your head.

There's a shift in energy as the ferris wheel suddenly comes to life, sending you sliding across the limited space of the metal bench seat and right up against him.

“Oh, yeah?” You tease with your face a few inches from his. Close enough to see your reflection in his irises. “Is that why two different people have implied that I'm yours tonight and you haven't corrected either of them?”

“Your costume had nothing to do with that. I wouldn't have corrected them even if you were dressed as a giant banana,” he says, his tone and face both serious. “Does it bother you that I didn't correct them?”

“No,” you answer automatically - eagerly. You should feel embarrassed, but with the way he's looking at you, and how good it feels to be pressed so snug against him, you can't find it within yourself to care. “I didn't correct them either,” you point out.

The ferris wheel comes to a stop to let new people get on when your cart reaches the peak.

“And why is that?” he asks lowly. If you weren't sitting so close to him, you wouldn't have been able to hear him over the obnoxiously loud carnival music that pours from speakers in between the ferris wheel's carts.

He wraps his metal arm around your shoulders, pulling you further into him.

“Because I liked the sound of it,” you answer honestly. Your voice quivers - from nerves, or from a gust of wind that sways the pod still perching at the top of the wheel.

“Is that right?” he murmurs. He places his flesh hand on the exposed skin of your thigh - just above the top of your boot and just under the hem of your dress. His fingertips rest near the crack between your thighs. Instinctively, you spread your legs apart - not much, but enough for him to smirk at your body's automatic response to his touch.

“You like the sound of being my girl?”

“Yeah,” you breathe. “I do. Is that okay with you?”

He chuckles, his fingers inching further up your thigh. You spread your legs open further, giving him the go ahead to go as high as he wants. He stops when he reaches the apex of your thighs, just an inch away from the cloth of your panties. He applies pressure with his fingertips, his short nails digging into the sensitive flesh and making you clench your legs around his hand.

“That depends,” he contemplates. “Are you my girl?”

You open your mouth to answer when the sensation of his index finger grazing the fabric that covers your cunt makes you forget how to speak. You sit there with your mouth agape as he hooks a finger into the cotton panties.

He eases a finger through your folds, lubricating it in your slick before adding a second finger and massaging the pads of them over your sensitive clit.

“Feels like you're my girl.”

You become vaguely aware of the fact that the ride is now in motion once more, heading back down to the ground, when Bucky places the stuffed bunny on your lap in an effort to conceal what is happening in the cart that you and him share.

He alternates between slow, languid circles and quick strokes against your clit as the ferris wheel makes its way down and then back up again. You can feel yourself soaking your underwear as the world dizzies around you. You hide your face in Bucky's neck to conceal the pleasure written across your face.

You're seconds away from coming against his fingers, the pressure in your belly building to a climax, when he pulls away and tugs your dress into place. Your gaze snaps up to his, shooting daggers, as the ride comes to a slow stop. He looks back at you with an amused smirk as the operator approaches the cart to unlock the gate.

“Sorry about that, sweetheart,” he tells you in a strained voice as he snatches the bunny back from you. “After you,” he motions with his head as the operator holds the gate open for you.

Stunned and speechless at what just happened, you stumble out of the cart and down the stairs to the ride's exit with Bucky behind you - both of you completely forgetting about your pitchfork. You can't help but snort a laugh at the position of the large stuffed animal - directly over Bucky’s crotch.

“Real discreet,” you tell him, glancing down at the bunny and then back up to the semi-pained expression on his face.

“I have to admit, right now this thing is worth every penny that I spent on it,” he sighs, and then removes one hand from the bunny to place it on your lower back. “Follow me,” he instructs with a smirk.

He guides you through the crowd and you follow him without question, just trying to ignore the wet ache between your legs.

You shoot him a quizzical look when you arrive at the house of mirrors. You haven't been in a mirror maze since you'd gotten lost in one at ten years old.

There's an attendant sitting in a chair outside of the entrance who unenthusiastically greets the two of you. Bucky reaches into his pocket, digging out his wallet for the second time that evening. He pulls out a hundred dollar bill and flashes it at the elderly man smoking a Pall Mall.

“Take this and don't let anyone else in until we come out,” Bucky tells him before dragging you into the attraction. You and the gray haired man both go wide eyed.

“What was that?” you cackle as the door slams to a close behind you. Bucky doesn't answer, just grabs one of your hands in his and begins guiding you through the maze of mirrors as if he's been here a hundred times.

The entire place is lit by bright, neon red lights that only aid in further confusing your sense of direction. Bucky doesn’t seem phased in the slightest, finally coming to a stop after a few minutes of maneuvering through the endless mirrors.

“You never answered me, you know,” he says as he drops your bunny to the floor. “When I asked if you're my girl.” He smirks at you, stepping closer to you and backing you against the mirror behind you.

“You just paid that man a hundred dollars to get me alone,” you jab as you pull him to you by the front of his Henley. “I think it's safe to say that I am.”

He smiles as you pull him down to you, crushing your lips to his. His hands trail down your back until they land where your thighs meet the curve of your ass cheeks. You release months worth of tension into the kiss, sweeping your tongue along the swell of his bottom lip before slipping it into his mouth the second that he parts his lips for you. He groans into the kiss, kneading the globes of your ass with his fingers. You can feel a prominent bulge through his jeans against your stomach.

Adrenaline begins to kick in when he pulls away, looking down at you with lust blown pupils. He sinks to the floor below you, kneeling in front of your cunt as he raises your dress around your waist and tugs your panties down your legs and over your boots. He slips them into his back pocket before hiking one of your legs across his shoulder.

You can already feel your juices leaking down your inner thighs before his mouth makes contact with you. When he does, you lean your head back against the glass behind you in pleasure.

He sucks your clit between his kiss-swollen lips with an obscene pop before running his tongue down your folds. He plunges his tongue inside you and you grind yourself against his face, chasing the release that you were seconds away from on the ferris wheel.

He moans at the taste of you and the vibration has your walls clenching around his tongue. You ride out your orgasm on his face, the neon red lights blurring and spinning around you.

Despite the fact that your legs feel like jelly, you pull him up to you as soon as you're able to form a coherent thought. You clumsily paw at the button of his pants and his zipper, and he shoves both his jeans and boxers down over his ass, just far enough to free his cock.

He places both of his hands just under your armpits and lifts you as you instinctively lock your legs around his hips.

The head of his cock nudges your wet folds, your juices coating his length before he nudges it inside you.

You feel full before he's even halfway in you. Your walls constrict around him and he digs his teeth into his bottom lip as he adjusts to the sensation of you.

“Fuck, that's tight. You're perfect,” he grunts as he sheaths the rest of his length into you. You let out a sound somewhere between a whimper and a gasp.

He has total control as he cradles you between his body and the cold, hard mirror behind you. He sets a harsh pace, his head ramming against your cervix at the sweetest angle from his position beneath you.

He manages to support you with the strength of only his vibranium arm as he brings his flesh hand between your bodies, once again massaging your clit in rapid circles as he fucks up into you.

You cum around his length in a shockingly short amount of time, digging your teeth into the flesh of his neck as he follows after you, filling you up with hot ropes of his cum.

You stay in the same position after you've both reached your climax, panting against one another in the claustrophobic feeling space.

“We should probably go find our friends,” you say breathlessly with a kiss to the side of his face. “Sam's probably getting sick of being a third wheel.”

He pulls out of you, his cum running down your thighs and ass cheeks. He gently lowers you back down to the ground as he begins to tuck himself back into his pants.

He laughs, cupping your face in his hands as he pulls your lips to his once again.

“If he hates being a third wheel, just imagine how much he's going to hate being a fifth wheel.”

[roosterforme]

The Younger Kind Part 60 | Rooster x Reader

Summary: Your bachelorette outing and Bradley's bachelor party are both hosted by the same person, but they couldn't be more different. Spending an evening at home with Noah is reminiscent of your babysitting days, but now he's asking you some pertinent questions.

Warnings: pregnancy topics, swearing, smut, drinking, angst, fluff, and age gap (18+)

Length: 4500 words

Pairing: Single dad!Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x babysitter!female reader

Check out my masterlist for more! The Younger Kind masterlist.

Natasha was outside in her SUV on the driveway, ready to pick you up for your bachelorette outing. You refused to call it a bachelorette party since it was just the two of you going out for the evening, but Bradley made sure his best friend knew to spare no expense when it came to anything you wanted.

"It's just pedicures and pottery," you whispered against Bradley's lips with a smile as he held you close so he could feel your round belly against his body. "I'll be home in a few hours."

He grunted softly, kissing you a little deeper before releasing your lips. "We'll still miss you," he murmured, letting his hands roam along your hips while Noah sat on the area rug and worked on one of the new coloring books you picked up for him. "And don't overdo it." When Natasha started honking her horn, he let his forehead rest on your shoulder. "She's the worst."

You just laughed and kissed his cheek as you said, "She's the best, and you know it, Daddy."

It would have been impossible to dispute that fact. She was the one who took care of you when Bradley wasn't stateside. "Go have fun."

"Bye, Mommy!" Noah said, popping up to give you a hug when Bradley released you. He scooped his son up since he didn't want you lifting anything, and you gave Noah a kiss on the forehead.

"Have fun with Daddy," you told him, kissing him once more before heading outside to Nat's idling SUV. 

Bradley stood on the porch with Noah and waved until you were out of sight, and then Noah asked, "Can we get Mommy a coloring book?"

"Hey," Bradley said, nudging the door open while also making sure Skittles didn't get outside without her leash on. "That's a great idea, Bub. Maybe a Princess coloring book? You can give it to her for the wedding?"

His son looked so much like a tiny version of himself, and he had to stifle his laughter as Noah nodded stoically and said, "Yeah, she'd like that. I have so many great ideas."

Bradley took him back inside, and they ended up stretched out on the floor together. Noah continued with his masterpiece while Bradley started searching for options on his phone. After a few minutes, he found an independent shop that made coloring books with different themes based on photos that you send to them. "Do you like this?" he asked his son, holding up his phone.

Noah looked at the sample pages as Bradley scrolled through them. He nodded and said, "Mommy is prettier than that."

"She absolutely is," Bradley replied as he realized the wedding was in a week and didn't know if a custom book could even be completed in that short amount of time. "Let me see if we can get something like this for her. If not, we can always save it for her birthday."

His son started to pout at the mere mention of having to wait longer for it, so Bradley started typing up a message to the owner of the shop, hoping that he'd be able to explain that it was for his wedding. Once that was done, he checked the time and asked, "Do you need a snack before dinner?"

"Ants on logs," Noah replied without missing a beat. Bradley had no problem with the healthy snacks you somehow tricked the two of them into eating, but he was always told he never got the peanut butter proportions right.

"Yeah, okay. I can try to make them the way you like-"

"Mommy left some in the fridge."

Bradley chuckled as he stood up, coaxing Noah to abandon his coloring project for the time being. "Of course she did. She's the best." Somehow even when you weren't here, you had everything covered.

-----------------------------

"Okay, so if you could ditch Bradley and marry a celebrity, who would you pick?"

You burst out laughing in the pedicure chair next to Natasha with your hands resting on the roundest part of your belly. "Who said I would? Even if I could?" She gave you a look followed by an eye roll before you said, "You'll laugh at me, so I don't even want to say my answer."

"Just say it," she prompted as you dragged your foot through the warm water.

You groaned and said, "I like all the older, DILF-y actors."

Natasha started cackling as you covered your eyes with your hands. "You have a type!" she said amidst her laughter. "And your type is Rooster!"

You thought back to all the time you wasted with Greyson and other guys your age and grimaced. "I don't think that was always my type. It's a more recent development, and I'm not mad about it." You moved your hand on your belly and added, "Boy suck. Men are at least marginally better."

"Well," she said, leaning a little closer to you like she had a secret. "You found a good one. Or rather, I kind of found you for him. But regardless, he's a keeper. Kind of because he has Noah."

"Mostly because he has Noah," you told her, and then both of you were laughing.

After your nails were painted a vibrant purple, Natasha took you out for dinner and let you eat until you were full. You could tell your body and appetite were changing by the day, but you refused to feel self conscious about it in front of her. The two of you were sharing a slice of cake for dessert when you said, "He really did plan almost everything for the wedding. All I did was help him pick out matching suits for him and Noah to wear. And I picked out some flowers and my dress, but that's it."

Natasha hummed as she took another forkful of dessert. "I'm telling you, he'll always be good like that. He's a planner. Very responsible."

You felt silly telling her what was on your mind, but you said it anyway. "He pays my credit card bill. Not that I spend a lot! I try not to! I usually just buy groceries and things for Noah." She nodded like your words weren't as startling as you thought they were. "I kind of wanted to surprise him as a thank you, but if I buy something, he'll see it on the credit card statement."

Maybe you should have been wary of the smirk that found its way to her lips when Natasha said, "What if I rally the boys one night this week and take him out for a little bachelor party?"

"Oh," you said softly. "You'd do that? Just something lowkey?"

"Super lowkey," she agreed with a nod.

You could easily imagine them going to Top Golf or out for some drinks. "I think he might really like that."

"Or.... and just hear me out," she said, holding up her hands innocently after handing her credit card to the waiter. "Or, you let me absolutely roast him for the night."

You studied her face; how bad could it be? She was Bradley's best friend after all. Even if she was giving him a hard time, she'd probably make it fun. "What did you have in mind?" you asked as the two of you left the restaurant and headed for the pottery boutique down the block.

"A few things I'm going to need your approval for," she replied casually. And while you worked on making yourself a mug that said Noah's Mommy, you listened to Natasha's not-so-lowkey plans for Thursday night. By the time your mug actually looked like a mug, you gave her full approval.

"I almost feel bad about this," you told her with a laugh.

"I don't."

-------------------------------

The following evening after Noah was in bed, Bradley set you up for a nice shower while he cleaned up the kitchen from the chicken enchiladas you made for dinner. When Nat called him, he held his phone to his shoulder with his cheek and kept working.

He answered the call and asked, "Hey, what's up?"

"Your bachelor party with me and the guys starts at six o'clock on Thursday evening."

He laughed in response. "It's funny that this is the first time I'm hearing about it."

Bradley could practically feel her rolling her eyes through the phone. "Just be ready to go."

"Ready for what?" he asked, knowing better than to just trust her with this. The dating app was one thing, and that had turned out great in the end, but he wasn't going to blindly go with her on this.

"Uhhh... just some stuff."

"Natasha."

"Bradley."

"What did you do?"

There was a brief pause before she said, "Just be ready for dinner, booze and some strippers."

With a deep sigh, Bradley closed his eyes and said, "I'm going to have to check with my wife-to-be about the strippers, Nat." You had to know by now that you had nothing to worry about, and he wasn't even all that keen on going to a strip club, but he didn't want you to be upset.

"She knows the plan."

He froze as he loaded the dishwasher. "She does?"

Natasha laughed, and Bradley swore he felt his skin crawl. "She does. Be ready for six o'clock on Thursday."

"We have work on Friday-" 

She already ended the call. Bradley finished cleaning up when he heard you getting out of the shower. "God damn it, Nat," he muttered as he turned off the kitchen lights and made his way back to the bedroom where you were all wrapped up in a towel.

"Hi, Daddy."

He groaned at your words and your little smirk. "Hey, Baby. Can we talk for a minute?"

Your eyebrows shot up as you held your towel around you a little tighter. "What's wrong? Is it something about the wedding? Did the marriage license not go through? We only have six days."

"No, no," he promised, reaching for you. "It's not that. It's... I just got off the phone. With Nat."

You looked relieved as you leaned against him. "Good. I was worried for a second."

Bradley didn't quite know how to approach this topic now that he was here. Natasha would be as tenacious as a junkyard dog about her plans, so he had to say something. "You don't have anything to worry about."

You laughed softly. "That sounds nice."

He cleared his throat and said, "Nat called about my bachelor party night?" 

It came out more like a question than a statement, but you just nodded and said, "Dinner and drinks and the strip club."

"Yeah," he rasped. "You approved this whole thing?"

"Mmhmm. To be fair, it was all her idea. I just told her it was okay."

Bradley tipped your chin so you were looking up at him, your face fresh and perfect after your shower. "If this plan is not okay with you, then I'm not going."

"It's okay with me," you replied easily. "I trust you."

He studied your face. "I feel like I'm going to end up babysitting everyone on a work night. Two days before the wedding."

You snorted in response. "You'll have fun. And so will everyone else. You should go."

"Yeah, I'm going," he groaned. "Nat will just have the guys drag me out if I don't go willingly. But I don't really care about looking at strippers. I got you and your perfect tits right here at home."

You didn't stop him when he slowly tugged your towel from your fingers and pulled it open. And yeah, your tits looked perfect, but so did the swell of your pregnant belly and your soft skin. He was hard as soon as the towel hit the floor. 

"Daddy," you whined softly, shivering in his arms. It was December, and the nights were chilly in San Diego; you had taken to snuggling with him even more than usual in your sleep. "Now you need to warm me up."

"My pleasure," he replied, scooping you up and dropping you carefully onto the king sized bed that you picked out for the room. "Let me start right here," he whispered before he kissed you softly, covering your body gently with his. "Feeling warmer?"

You shifted beneath him, spreading your legs wider so he was nestled against your pussy, his cock straining against his jeans zipper. "A little bit," you whispered innocently. 

Bradley smirked, and when he brought his hand up to stroke your breast, he said, "I told you, I got these perfect tits right here."

"Bradley," you giggled as his fingers skimmed along your skin, but when he stroked his thumb across your tightly furled nipple, you arched your back and made a raspy gasping sound. Your eyes went wide as you looked up at him. "Oh my god," you moaned.

"Are you okay?" he asked, pulling his hand away, but you were already nodding vigorously. 

"It felt really good." The words rushed right from your lips as you rolled your hips up to meet his. "Different, I guess. I can't explain it."

When he rubbed your nipple between his thumb and index finger, he smirked. You were instantly squirming and moaning, reaching for his zipper with one hand and his hair with the other. Your eyes were wild even though he was being gentle, and he dipped his head down to whisper in your ear. "You're extra sensitive right now. It's the pregnancy hormones." He plucked and stroked as you started panting. "God damn, Princess. You like that?"

"Yes!" Your voice already sounded broken, and he'd barely touched you.

"Shh. Keep quiet like a good girl." But his words and hand seemed to have the opposite effect on you, because you just got louder. Bradley reached down to where you had his cock free from his zipper and pulled your hand up to his lips. He kissed your fingers before shoving them a little rough into your mouth. "You have to be quiet if you want me to play with you."

You moaned around your own fingers but nodded your head, and at least you were quieter now as Bradley kissed his way from your neck down to your tits. He didn't know how he was going to manage you when there were two kids in the house trying to sleep, but at the moment, he didn't really care. You were going to be his wife in a few short days. That thought alone had him bucking his cock against the bedding as he ran his mustache along your peaked nipple, inhaling your wildflower scent.

When he pulled your nipple into his mouth and sucked, he could tell your breasts were already a little bit bigger than before. Soon you'd be bigger everywhere. Getting even more sensitive by the day. He was painfully hard right now, listening to your muffled screams and tasting you. He licked and sucked until your tits were both damp from his mouth and overstimulated from his mustache. 

When you started bucking up, Bradley eased his hand down to cup your pussy and found that you were soaked. He couldn't remember Meredith getting quite like this as he dipped his middle finger into your slick and easing it down to your hole.

"Daddy," you gasped as you pulled your fingers from your mouth. "I'm going to come."

You looked shocked by your statement as you sank down around his finger. He could already feel your tight pussy fluttering around him as he whispered, "You want me to make it so good?"

His only answer was a whimper as you bit your lip, and he knew he'd make sure you were always taken care of in every way. Carefully, he added a second finger and started to circle your clit with his thumb. You were shaking a bit, your pretty tits bouncing softly as he ran his nose down the valley between your breasts. 

"Be a good girl. You know where to put those fingers, Princess," he coaxed, watching you slip them between your lips. Then he let you have his mouth on your tits again, while his hand worked at your pussy. He carefully drew a shaking orgasm out of you as you slobbered on your own fingers, not stopping until he was afraid you'd be too far gone soon.

"Daddy," you whined around your fingers as he ran his tongue flat across your nipple.

"Let me fuck you," he begged, realizing he was already close and needing to be inside you. "Please, Baby."

You reached for his cock and guided him home, and he fucked you with his jeans barely pulled down, coming inside you after just a few strokes. You were the picture of sated perfection with his cum oozing out of your pussy and your wet fingers skimming along your swollen belly and breasts. You were his young, pristine babysitter and his pregnant wife-to-be and everything in between. "I love you."

"Keep me warm all night, Daddy."

---------------------------

As you sent Bradley off with Natasha, you shared a conspiratorial look with her. You only felt slightly bad for keeping the bachelor party plans to yourself, and ultimately it made you feel good when Bradley went out for the night in an old pair of jeans and an uninspired shirt. He didn't look the part of a man who wanted to try to dazzle some strippers, and you loved him for it. 

"Bye, Bub," he said, kneeling to kiss Noah where he stood at your side. "Be good for Mommy." Then he stood and kissed you deeply. "I won't be out late, okay?"

"Stay out as late as you want," you told him, running your fingers along his cheek as he pulled away from you. "Just don't have a hangover on Saturday."

He smiled and focused on your face even as Nat and the guys yelled at him from Javy's car in the driveway. "Our wedding day. It'll be perfect. Like you."

"Go," you told him with a laugh even as you had butterflies in your belly. "Have fun. We'll be here when you get home."

With one more kiss, he was off and jogging down the walkway. You watched him climb into the backseat, then they all waved at you as Javy backed out of the driveway with Natasha in the front seat. You were wondering how long it would be until Bradley called you to tell you he had in fact been taken to see a bunch of male strippers. The guys had apparently all been so excited when Natasha mentioned the strip club, she had a hard time holding in her laughter. The plan all along was that she'd take Bradley and the rest of them to dinner and then to The Tiger's Cage- San Diego's premier male review.

But you didn't hear from them at all while you and Noah ate macaroni and cheese together. You still didn't hear a word as the two of you took Skittles for a short walk to look at Christmas lights. You even let Noah dip his hands in green paint to make a Christmas tree art project to hang on the refrigerator, but nobody called or texted you.

"Mommy?" Noah asked as you got him changed into his dinosaur pajamas. "Are you going to adopt me?"

You smiled and kissed him on his chubby cheek. "I am," you promised. But when you looked at his face, his brow was pinched with worry.

"Is it going to hurt?"

"Oh, Noah," you said with a surprised laugh, pulling him into your arms and holding him against his growing younger sibling. "Not at all! It won't feel like anything."

"Then why are you going to do it?" he asked, face muffled by your shoulder.

You soothed his back with your hand, considering his question. For all intents and purposes, you really were his mom. Bradley added you to his will; if anything happened to him, Noah was solely yours. "I kind of want to have a little piece of paper with an official signature that says we get to be together forever. Does that sound okay?"

"That's adoption?" he asked. 

"That's adoption."

"Yeah, okay," he agreed with a little shrug before climbing into bed. "Can I sleep with Skittles again?"

The pup appeared in the doorway, always excited to hear her name. "She can stay in here until Daddy gets home." You set the dog in bed with him and gave him a little kiss on his forehead as he yawned. "I love you."

"Love you, Mommy." He was half asleep as you turned on his night light and left the room. When you checked your phone, you smiled, having finally received the message you were waiting for. 

Bradley Bradshaw: Nat brought us to The Tiger's Cage. My name is on the marquee. It says CONGRATULATIONS DADDY BRADSHAW

You were doubled over in laughter, holding your belly and trying not to wet yourself. Because he also sent a picture. All of the guys were lined up under the marquee sign, and you were pleased to see that they all looked like they were being good sports about the entire thing. Bradley was the only one who looked slightly mortified.

You texted back Go have fun, Daddy Bradshaw!

Natasha sent you some random photos as you got ready for bed. You were surprised Jake was there, given your history with him, but even he looked like he was having fun. You laughed at a picture of Bradley drinking something pink and blended, and then the photos stopped. 

You wondered what was going on, but you kept yourself busy. Bradley told you not to clean up, promising to take care of everything tomorrow night before the wedding in the backyard on Saturday afternoon. Since you had the time and the privacy, you tried on your wedding dress one last time, sliding the fabric along your legs and zipping it up your side. You grabbed your purple paper crown, which was looking a lot worse for the wear now, and set it on your head. 

When you looked in the mirror, you smiled. The dress fit like a dream and hugged your bump. The crown looked fun at the moment, but you wouldn't wear it on Saturday; you were pretty sure Bradley considered it a 'bedroom' item at this point anyway. Mostly, you looked happy. Like someone who was accepted in this perfect place. Like a woman who was needed here. And you needed the Bradshaw boys to be your family.

You wore the dress around for a few minutes before carefully unzipping it and getting ready for bed. It was late now, but you requested the day off tomorrow, and you wanted to see Bradley when he got home from his bachelor party. After you checked on Noah and Skittles, you curled up on the living room couch. 

Every time you stopped to think about the wedding, you got a little anxious. When you asked Bradley what he had planned for dinner for the reception, he just told you he had everything under control. He said all you had to do was show up with some sort of wedding vows, but he didn't tell you anything that he had planned. 

You dozed off on the couch, somehow still exhausted all the time, and you had no idea how late it was when you woke up to the sound of laughter and a key in the front door.

"You smell like Axe body spray. I can't believe someone is marrying you."

"Jesus fuck, Nat. I smell like Axe because you took me to see male strippers."

"Well, I know I had a great time tonight," Natasha cackled as she guided Bradley inside, and you stood up with your hand clasped over your mouth. He was a swaying mess, and he was holding a huge wad of cash and a bag from a convenience store.

"Princess," he crooned softly when he saw you, and your heart skipped a beat at the look in his eyes.

"Hi, Daddy."

And then he was on you, so gentle in his overindulgence, it was almost surprising. He was looking around like he wasn't sure what to do with everything he was holding, trying to touch your belly.

"I'll see you on Saturday," Natasha said with a smile as she closed the door behind her, and then you were alone with him. 

"What's in the bag? Are why are you holding a roll of cash?" you asked as you guided him to the couch. 

He sat down hard and handed everything to you as you stood between his splayed legs. "The strippers were dudes. I made Nat and Javy stop so I could get you some Skittles. I'm really drunk. Can we get married soon?"

When you looked in the bag you found six packs of your favorite candy. "Wow, you must be very intoxicated if you bought a pack of Sour Skittles too."

"Did I?" he asked before stretching out on the couch. "Shit. I'll eat them. Come here."

You sat on the floor next to him and handed him the bag of Sour Skittles as you counted the nearly seven hundred dollars you were holding. "Bradley, where did this come from?" you asked in alarm.

But he just crunched on some of the candy in response. "Oh, these are fucking nasty. Baby, can we please get married?" he rambled, dumping more Skittles into his mouth.

You pushed his hair back from his forehead and kissed him there. "Were getting married in like thirty-six hours. Now can you please tell me where you got this money from?"

"Huh?" he grunted like he'd never seen it before. "Oh. Oh, that." Then he casually dumped the rest of the Sour Skittles and chewed them up while you laughed and shook his arm.

"Bradley!"

He swallowed and dropped the wrapper on the floor before pulling you up onto the couch with him. "Jake got tips for stripping, and Nat made him give me the cash."

"I'm sorry, what?" you asked with in shock as you tried to settle into a comfortable position on him.

"They tried to get Daddy Bradshaw up on stage. I pointed to Jake and said it was him."

You couldn't stop laughing now. "But you got the cash?"

"Yeah," he said, eyes drifting closed as he propped his arm behind his head. "A wedding gift. For the honeymoon."

Just as you settled your head on his chest, you popped back up again. "Are we going on a honeymoon?" You started to feel a little apprehensive about going away for an extended trip without Noah while you were pregnant, but Bradley brought his big hand up to settle on your back as he snuggled in a little more.

"Next year. After the baby's born. Anywhere you want to go."

He really did kind of smell like Axe body spray, and he definitely needed to take a shower, but you let him hold you for a few minutes while he slept.

------------------------------

Part 61 will be their wedding! Thanks so much for reading and letting me share this family with you! We're almost to the finish line. Thanks @caitsymichelle13 for the request about the coloring book; stay tuned. And thanks @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls

PART 61

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@yuckosworld

[vicxss]

Natasha Romanoff x fem!agent!reader

Summary: since Natasha became an avenger she doesn't spend as much time with you

Warnings: slight angst at the beginning and pure filth at the end

English is not my first language

Me and Natasha have been girlfriends for two years now, and believe me, it wasn't for lack of effort, we were both S.H.I.E.L.D. leaving me aside because he spends most of his time with the other avengers, and that's when I always stop by the complex, for which I had a friendship with Wanda, but I don't understand why Natasha doesn't like that, until because I don't complain about Steve when she's busy or on a mission with him, she seems to have a radar because every time things are heating up between us Natasha shows up.

It's been three weeks since we've had sex, as she's always busy with her work, so the only fun I have is talking to Wanda, and right now I'm talking to her about Natasha.

Wanda:- But what do you mean she's not calling you?

Y/n: She's always busy! Apart from Steve who always calls her when things are heating up, I'm already suspicious if Natasha is cheating on me with him.

Wanda:- I don't think she would do that, she's crazy about you. (she hugs me)

Y/n:-If she's crazy about me, why doesn't she pay attention to me.

Wanda:- I don't know, but it's not possible that she'll betray you, because if that happens, I'll break it myself to stay with you.

Y/n:- It wouldn't be a bad idea, you're beautiful, kind, romantic and a great companion.

Wanda:- Ksksks, it wouldn't be a bad idea. (I look at the electronic clock on your dresser)

Y/n:- I need to go Wanda, you know how it is, I need to sleep well to work well.

Wanda:- Alright, see you tomorrow, I love you.

Y/n:- I love you too. I give her a kiss on the cheek and go to my apartment, as soon as I open the door, I find Natalia on the couch looking at the floor.

Y/n:- Are you ok Nat? I take off my coat and put the key on the counter, she turns her head and I see her face with tears running down it.

Y/n:- What happened?

Natasha:- What happened? You just told Wanda it wouldn't be bad to be with her instead of me!

Y/n:- What are you talking about?

Natasha:- I heard everything Y/n, every word you said to Wanda!

Y/n:- We were just kidding, and most of the things I said are true! You just hang out with Steve and pay no attention to me. And when was the last time we had sex?! Eh?!

Natasha:- I... I don't know.

Y/n:- That's right! Because every time Steve shows up and I can't take it anymore, all I wanted was to give you a night of pleasure!

Natasha:- That's beside the point.

Y/n:- Really? Because if you don't pay attention, I'll get someone who does.

Natasha:- I don't want this ok?! I don't want you to leave me!

Y/n:- I don't even know anymore Natasha. I'm about to leave the room, but I stop with her talking quietly to me.

Natasha:- I'm afraid that you don't think I'm amazing, that I'm not enough for you and that you'd rather have sex with someone else.

Y/n:- Natasha, you are the hottest and most amazing woman in my life, because if you weren't I wouldn't be in the avengers, and I would never be with someone else having you with me.

Natasha:- I want to reward you. (She puts her hands on my ass)

Y/n: Just do what you do best.

Natasha:- And what I do best. I approach her ear.

Y/n:- Eat me. I jump into her lap and she pulls me into a wild kiss, full of longing and explores every corner of my mouth, moves to my neck where she deposits hickeys and bites.

Y/n:- You don't have to tag me too much.

Natasha:- I'm going to tag you and show you how much I drive my girlfriend crazy.

She goes back to working on my neck, I was excited, but I was even more so when she shocks her intimacy into mine, making both of them moan, she takes us to the bedroom without breaking the caresses putting me on the bed.

Natasha:- Today I'm going to eat you like I haven't done for three weeks. She continues kissing me and I lift my torso to help her take my shirt off, she looks at my bare breasts without a bra, gives me a sexy look and falls with her mouth on one of my breasts while massaging the other with her hand , I let out low, pleasurable moans and I watch her bite my rigid nipple, then she takes turns between them, when both are sensitive, she distributes the kiss to my abdomen until the waistband of my shorts, through which she pulls them down, facing her. my sodden intimacy asking for attention.

Natasha:- Ah baby, you're so wet. She takes her thumb to my clitoris and she stimulates it over my panties, making me moan loudly, she laughs and brutally rips my panties and throws them in any corner, the same happens with her clothes, she distributes kisses on mine thighs and puffs of air right on top of my intimacy, she looks at me and opens her lips, running her tongue slowly along the length of that place, then I spit on it and lands on my pussy, making me scream and roll in her face in looking for more contact.

Y/n:- Ah...anh Natasha!...That's it! Do not stop! The more I screamed, the more she sucked, and forced her tongue into my entrance, penetrating it, making a back and forth with her tongue that makes me delirious with pleasure, I was about to come when she stops and gives me a kiss, I was going to complain more she She penetrates me with two fingers without warning, making me squeal, she comes up to my neck kissing it while moving her fingers slowly, I try to take her hand to make her speed up, she understands the message and increases strength and lunge speed.

Natasha:- Awn...You're so tight

Y/n, I can't imagine someone else eating you.

Y/n:- There...I-I'll...go Natasha, fuck me hard! She adds another finger to the bill and it goes faster, I never felt better than now, I grabbed her back scratching and squeezing as she did her work with her fingers in me, then I screamed in delight as I melted into her fingers. , I lift my head and see her removing her fingers from me so she sucks them.

Natasha:- You have incredible taste my love.

Y/n:- Now it's my turn. We turn our bodies and I take my kiss to her neck for which I mistreat that region, I place my hands on her breasts, squeezing them hard, watching her gasp.

Y/n:- I've grown up, but I think I'll go back to being a baby. I take her breast and feel her introduce her hand in my hair, squeezing it, I lick and suck on her chest, the same I do with the other one and I go straight to her intimacy for which I give light blows and see it contract.

Natasha:- No teasing baby, now suck me. She pushes my head towards her vagina, I start my job of sucking her, it's like I'm French kissing her and I see Natalia moan loudly, I go down to try something I saw, I start doing numbers with my tongue in her pussy , she lifts her hips by which she pushes even more her intimacy to my mouth: One...two...three...four...five...six...seven...eight...nine ...ten. I stop sucking her and look into her face.

Y/n:- Sit on my face. I lie on the bed and see her climb on top of me and sit on my face so I go back to doing my work even faster, making her roll and rub herself even more on my face, I penetrate a finger into her intimacy without stopping sucking. her clit, she starts bouncing on my finger while I still have my tongue in her pussy.

Natasha:- Ow...na-not for love! I add one more finger and thrust harder, I notice her legs getting weak and giving slight spasms, she screams cum in my fingers, I clean all her intimacy before laying her on the bed and putting my head on her chest to rest.

Natasha:- I never leave you without having sex again. (She smooths my head)

Y/n:- I think it's good. (I snuggle into her and catch my breath)

Natasha:- I love you.

Y/n:- I love you more. She gives me a kiss on the forehead and I kiss her back, returning to my old position and we fall asleep like that, cuddling in bed.

[shadowsndaisies]

the hard deck: slow ride (pt 2)

wc: ~1k

synopsis: a glimpse through Jake's eyes

main masterlist

athena-verse master post

a/n: here is part 2!

Look, Jake knew he was a great pilot. He knew it before he got sent to Top Gun; he knew it after. And he knew it before he got invited to this special detachment. In order to be a great pilot, there is a certain level of intelligence involved, so yes, Jake would say he's a smart guy. Which is why he feels confident in saying something has happened between you and Bradley.

You were by far the best person Jake had ever met. Pilot or not, hands-down, you were the best. There was something about you. That was just so innately trustworthy. Something bold and clever. He could put his life in your hands and wouldn't doubt them for a second. It'll be a cold day in hell before he admits it out loud, but Natasha Trace was a close second; it's the only reason he didn't go completely territorial over your friendship, that, and the fact that Phoenix probably would've thrown him overboard if he had even tried.

Since your assignment to the Tophatters, Jake has found himself with plenty of time to get to know you. And while you mentioned some of the people you attended Top Gun with, usually Harvard and Yale, you never once mentioned Rooster. Yet, there was something about the way you were staring at him, the way you watched how he and Natasha interacted; it set off all kinds of alarms in his head. He made a joke with the kiss and tell, and while you denied it, he knew there was something you weren't saying.

He's starting toward the pool table but pauses; whatever the truth was, whatever was going on, Bradley Bradshaw did something that hurt you, that much was clear, and well, if there was one thing Jake excelled at, more than flying, it was pushing all the wrong buttons. He looks back at you, gripping the G&T he'd gotten you, knowing you'd drink a beer but never enjoy it. You're playing with the condensation; he can see how your chest moves with deep breaths. And he decides there's no reason to build a bridge that was on fire from the start.

He turns and walks up to the Juke, scanning the listing and then smirking when he finds what he wants, putting in a quarter and clicking the numbers. Then he turns back to the pool table, "Bradshaw!" he calls, and out of the corner of his eye, he sees you turn. Jake hands the beers off, one to Nat and the other three to Javi for the moment being. "As I live and breathe," he smirks, stealing the pool cue out of Bob's hands.

It's a dick move, he knows, but well, right now, that's who he needed to be.

"Hangman," Rooster greets, a slight head tilt, and his lip quirks. "You look… good," he concedes, and Jake smirks.

"Well, I am good, Rooster," Jake starts, lining up his shot, and like he'd done to you earlier, he makes eye contact with Rooster as he hits the ball. However, there is a distinct rise in testosterone; unfortunately, Rooster is not nearly as fun to flirt with as you are. "I'm very good. In fact, I am too good to be true," Jake smirks again.

"So," Payback calls, and Jake notices how you've begun to inch forward. "Anybody know what this special detachment is all about?"

"No, mission's a mission. They don't confront me," Jake is the first to answer as he lines up his next shot, splitting his vision between the pool table and you. You're still far enough to keep everyone from seeing you but close enough to likely hear what's being said, even over the sounds of the bar. "What I want to know," he continues, "is who's gonna be team leader?" he emphasizes the question while landing another ball in a pocket before standing and looking around the table. "And who's has what it takes to follow me?" Jake doesn't mean to linger on you, but it seems to have an okay reaction because you quirk a smile in challenge, as if asking what makes you think you won't be following me? And honestly, he probably would. He'd follow you anywhere if you asked him to.

"Hangman, the only place you'll lead anyone is an early grave," Rooster says lowly, and every Aviator around the table freezes.

Fanboy lets out a nervous laugh that Jake sure earns him a few glares, but his gaze doesn't move off of you; instead, he watches your shoulders tense, you bite your lip, and then he sees as you uncomfortably force yourself forward. He was a dick, he knew that, but he wasn't about to let you force yourself into this conversation when your feet weren't firmly on the ground.

Jake keeps the cocky smirk on his face and stands up straight before walking over to Rooster, "Well," he begins, looking Rooster up and down. "Anyone who follows you is just going to run out of fuel. But that's just you, ain't it, Rooster?" Jake quips. "You're snug on that perch, waiting for just the right moment… that never comes," Jake takes slow steps, getting in Rooster's face.

The chorus of the song Jake had typed in came on at the perfect time.

Slow ride… take it easy…

Jake smirks, "I love this song!"

Jake had moved to go back to the game. Still, vaguely, he's aware that you're now speaking to another aviator and that Phoenix and Rooster are talking about him.

"Well, he hasn't changed," Phoenix notes, and though she's being quieter, it's not quiet enough.

"Nope, sure hasn't," Rooster affirms.

"Check it out," Fanboy calls, nodding past the table, and everybody's attention shifts, "more patches."

"That's Omaha, Halo, Fritz, and shit, is that Harvard and Yale talking to Athena," Payback notes.

Rooster pauses, "Wait, Athena's here?"

...

everything: @butterfly-skinnylegend

athena’s tags: @omgbrianab @smoothdogsgirl @bazellawriz @sbrewer21 @inky-sun @djs8891 @rory-cakes

[hopepetal]

So @applestruda and I, as well as a friend of ours, have been watching Fantasy High together. That made me think. What if some of our sillies played DND?

--

Grian smiled, the kind of smile that always preceded a prank or something equally as dastardly. “You find yourself traversing through the forest, surrounded by trees that stretch–” And he reached up with an arm to show the great height of the forest– “right up to the sky, it seems. There's a muggy, sort of humid air, and you can hear that the birds are calling for potential mates in the distance.”

Impulse nudged Jimmy with a grin. “Hey, lover bird, sounds like your kind of crowd.”

Jimmy flushed a bright pink, spluttering out, “No, what the– oh my gosh, Impulse, that's so rude!” to laughter from around the table.

Even Grian had to hide a chuckle, before going back to describing the scene. “And you see, as you're trekking through this jungle– Pearl in front, slashing through the vines and smaller underbrush with her sword– you find that the underbrush suddenly stops, and there is a huge lake of what seems to be quicksand blocking the path.”

“Can I jump over it?” Pearl asked immediately, to which Grian, after a moment of consideration, shrugged.

“It's worth trying,” he answered, “give me an acrobatics roll.”

Pearl took up one of her starry blue die and rolled it, peering at the number when it stopped moving. “14– 18, with acrobatics.”

Grian thought for a moment, before shrugging and nodding his head. “...yeah, that works. You, take a few steps back, get a running start, and you jump over that quicksand like its nothing. It's– definitely not nothing, you probably just broke a human world record for long jump with half the effort, but hey, that's the fun of not being human!”

“I feel targeted,” Impulse joked, earning a round of giggles.

“Right, then. That's Pearl's turn.” Grian turned to Jimmy. “Do you wanna try doing the same thing, or are you gonna look for another way...?”

Jimmy grabbed his die, shaking it eagerly in his hands. “Oh, we're jumping this thing, baby.” He released the die, glanced at the number, and let out a horrified exclamation. “Nat one! That's– no, oh no, that's not–!”

Grian already had an evil grin on his face. “So, you go to jump over this huge thing of quicksand– and it's huge, man, you don't even know why you're doing this– and you land right in the middle of it, flat on your face, and begin to sink.”

Jimmy groaned, burying his head in his hands as the table laughed. “Oh, this is awful, this is awful...”

Tango fumbled with his die. “Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, can I– can I roll to help him, or something?”

Grian snickered. “Go ahead.”

Tango rolled, and screeched. “Oh no! I got a nat one! Ohhh, no!”

The whole table started dying from laughter, Scar almost falling out of his chair, startling Jellie in the process. Tilly barked once, her tail wagging as she panted heavily.

Grian wiped tears from his eyes. “Ohhh, boy. Oh man.” He giggled, his wings shaking as he tried to calm himself. “Right. So, you see Jimmy sinking face first into the quicksand, and you quickly jump out to help him– falling straight into the quicksand yourself, almost landing on Jimmy in the process.”

Tango pulled his knees up to his chest, burying his face in his knees as he wailed. “Oh, nooo! I'm so sorry, Jimmy!”

[maximotts]

I'm wondering what would jealous/possessive PH!WandaNat be like? I'm sure WandaNat get hit on all the time, but what about the reader? Say maybe they take reader to a party and another female mob boss is showing an interest in the reader who thinks the lady is just being nice (or do they realize it and like the attention?). Does WandaNat intervene at the party? How do they deal with the reader when they get home?

Okay okay, I have like, one quick set of minutes to get my thoughts down on this and I've been staring at this ask for days so lets see if I can answer this fully rn! Spoiler Alert: I did

Honestly, I'd say since our dear reader is a bartender, she's no stranger to being hit on by others. That behavior settles down more so once Wanda and Natasha make it clear that you're theirs, but that's at work.

Whenever you're working a party, you try to be nice and polite, not wanting to offend anyone especially given the types of clientele that frequent Wanda and Natasha's bar, so even if you're being hit on you brush it off or give a thank you before going back to pouring drinks.

If they've just brought you to a party for fun, that's a whole different story. It'd be hard to get too far away from both of them in the first place, but when you do, there'd certainly be people who want your attention; everyone's curious what kind of girl could've been so appealing to Wanda and Nat who are like, notoriously very closed in their relationship.

And you're not completely oblivious to what's going on, you'd hardly be the most interesting person at the party if it weren't for the women you were associated with, but when curious questions turn to flirting, you get more flustered than anything.

Some people are more bold with it than others, Carol for instance, who's been friends with Nat for decades and has a reputation for wanting things she can't have.

Maybe you've never been great at initiating flirting, but years of bartending meant you'd developed a skill of falling into a natural banter with others. So when Carol offers you a drink, you take it, laugh when she makes comments about your cuteness being why Wanda picked you out, retort that by that logic Wanda and Nat should've asked her out long ago; stuff you see as harmless flirting.... which is all fine and good until your girlfriends catch wind of it.

If Wanda catches you, she'll make a beeline to you, wrapping her arms around you from behind and making a show of kissing your neck, "There you are, little dove. I told you not to run off where I can't find you."

And it sounds sweet, but her voice has an edge and Wanda's eyes never leave Carol's, who really isn't intimidated, she never has been by Wanda, and you know you're in trouble.

On the other hand, if it's Natasha who spies your little flirting, she'll just watch, see how far deep of a hole you dig yourself into, let the rest of the party go by with you thinking nothing of the interaction at all... but the second she puts you in the car, she's whispering in your ear, "I really hope you're not too tired because you're getting a spanking for every time you giggled at our friends flirting with you, every cute little bat of your eyelashes and cheeky lip bite; I saw it all, naughty thing."

The pair of them would decide your full punishment right in front of you on the way home, wedged between your girlfriends as they took turns betting how red your ass would get with which toy, if you'd pass out before they finished, how loudly you'd beg to cum knowing it wouldn't be a possibility that night in the slightest.

You'd learn your lesson about flirting for sure, but that doesn't mean you don't try it sometimes still when you want to piss them off.

[outmakingmoonshine]

(Some of) my hopes (and some theories) for S3

The number 1 thing I want is a scene after Nat's had her baby where Carmy sees Syd holding the baby and his entire world stops bc that's all he wants for his future 😭 If Sydcarmy kiss or something I'll be happy and I'll reblog every single gif of it like a normal person BUT if we get a Syd holding the baby scene I'm gonna be uncontrollable on every social media platform available. I might even post it on Reddit and watch the meltdown! This is where the bar of my expectation is for S3. If we get this (or anything remotely like it) I'll be so satisfied, any other good thing that happens between Sydcarmy will be a bonus for me.

We know we're getting a Syd x Pete scene and I want a Carmy x Pete scene where Pete's talking about how great Syd is and Carmy can't help but warm to him a bit more. The potential relationships between Syd x Pete and Pete x Carmy are so important to me 🥹 my three awkward, anxious lonely babies (Pete's not lonely now but I think he probably was once upon a time and the Berzatto men singling him out of the family must make him feel lonely and not good enough :( I love Carmy but I will fight him for Pete's dignity and honour!)

Putting the rest under a cut because it's mostly just my musings and ramblings

I want Nat to say something to Carmy about his relationship with Syd. Nat saw their dynamic before Claire came, she saw Syd's reaction to Claire, how sydcarmy's dynamic changed when Claire was around and how Carmy ditching her made Syd feel. She didn't witness all of that for nothing. Someone's gotta tell Carmy how he's been (unintentionally) making Syd feel and I doubt it'll be Syd.

I need to see Richie start respecting Pete at least a little bit. Carmy's already kind of made a step towards respecting and even appreciating Pete for who he is a bit more but I need to see it from Richie too because I'm pretty sure he's the one who leads that little mob mentality against Pete. Even if it doesn't actually happen this season, I need to see it heading in that direction because Pete doesn't deserve all this slander 😭 I need Richie and Carmy to start seeing that the only difference between them and Pete is that he's mature and confident in who he is. They're both not confident in who they are so their only way of feeling like they're above him/better than him is to make fun of him for it. (IRL grown adults with this infantile mentality get on my last nerve so I need to see them come to a realization soon.)

I want Donna to make amends and start finding peace. I know she's technically an antagonist in this story but it really bothers me the way people dismiss her as if she's some monster like we aren't watching Carmy treat the people he loves the exact same way she does. If we can empathize with a man for his toxic behaviour we can empathize with a woman who was going through her own trauma and loss while she had 3 kids (plus Richie) to look after. Any parent who welcomes another person's child into their family unit for years and makes them feel like part of the family despite whatever she's going through, isn't a monster imo. I know she traumatized her kids but honestly, most parents do that and have no remorse about it. Donna has remorse for her actions and the effect it had on her kids. And what is Carmy doing to Sydney's self-esteem and confidence right now? He's definitely not helping it! l If I can forgive Carmy because he's acting on his trauma and I understand he's not just a horrible person by choice, I can do the same for Donna. I know some ppl just don't like JLC because she's pro-zionist (idek I just saw this online somewhere?) which I understand but at the same time, the actress is seperate to the character. Donna's favourite person in the world is gonna be her beautiful black daughter in law! She's gonna love and appreciate Syd so much.

I want Donna's story to end with her starting to heal so people watching this show know that even late in life when you've made all the worst mistakes and inflicted your pain on others you can still heal and try to right those wrongs. It's never too late to start being a better person. This wasn't meant to turn into a rant about Donna but I think the way some fans talk about her character is so unfair and narrow minded because they don't keep the same energy for Carmy.

Some of my theories for S3

I know no one wants to hear this but I think 3x09 Apologies will be an apology to Claire where Carmy finally comes clean about why he gave her a fake number and why he can't be with her, putting an end to romantic Claire/Carmy for good. If we see the end of Claire in the first few episodes I'll be happy but I doubt they'll waste the "suspense" of Claire/Carmy vs SydCarmy by ending it 3 or even 4, 5 episodes in. I don't think she'll be in all 9 episodes leading up to it tho (please no, I love Molly but that's way too much of Claire.)

JAW said during awards season "Claire deserves an apology" which seemed random to me at the time because no one asked him that, he just brought it up and we all know Syd is the one who deserves the biggest apology from Carmy. Idk if they were filming S3 yet when he said that but he already knows where the story is going. Actors don't just play character's "blind" without knowing something about where their story is leading, especially main characters.

I think they'll do the Syd/Claire switcheroo and make it seem like Carmy's going to apologize to Syd (because it will be glaringly obvious he needs to) but it'll be him telling Claire the truth and ending things with her. Idk if Syd will get an actual apology (it would mirror 1x08 where Marcus got the actual apology and Syd didn't even though she probably deserved it more) but I think we will get some kind of super intimate heartwarming/heartbreaking scene from sydcarmy in that episode, just like 2x09.

Also Ayo said something like sydcarmy fans won't get what they want in S3 and it's the one time I actually believe her.

I think we're going to get some amazing sydcarmy scenes in S3 but I don't think it's going to end well for them. I think S4 will mirror S1 and build their dynamic up again back to what it was before Claire came in 2x03. I think S4 is gonna be THE sydcarmy season.

I'm in two minds about whether Syd will sign the contract or not. I'm leaning towards no because despite it meaning Carmy can't just leave again, going off to do whatever he wants with "wHoEvEr" and she'll have his full focus, I just don't think she wants a legal contract to be the basis of why they're committed to working together. Syd's never tried to tie Carmy to her so I don't think she'll appreciate him doing it to her. Carmy's doing this out of desperation, not out of purely wanting to collaborate with her and Syd will sense that. I think Syd wants him to want to work with her. That's why she never actively tried to get him to stay and work with her in S2 and she could've been way more direct and harsh than "I need your focus like you need mine", Lord knows he would deserve it but she isn't trying to force him. That's why she never made him feel bad about being with Claire either even though he ditched her for Claire right when they were getting closer. She doesn't want to guilt trip him or make him feel like he owes her something, she wants it to be his own decision. She wants him to show that he wants it just like she does. And he does...but he just doesn't know how to show it in a healthy way and toxicity raised him so I can't blame him.

Idk what's gonna happen between Syd & Marcus or Syd & Luca but I don't think it actually needs to be romantic to make Carmy jealous, especially if he and Syd aren't seeing eye to eye. I don't think it's necessarily gonna be romantic for Syd either, even if they see her that way. Just like Carmy didn't really see Claire romantically (in present day anyway) and I will die on that hill. That man had zero romantic interest in her despite literally kissing and having sex with her. It was more like he was just going through the motions of a "normal" relationship than it being something he genuinely wanted. Why does he show SO MUCH want and desire for Syd but not a single iota of the same for Claire?!

Seeing Syd get close to any other man is going to bother Carmy regardless, especially if he knows the man is attracted to her. But I feel like Syd is a 'connection before anything else' kinda girl (Carmy is too, that's why having sex with Claire literally sent him into a spiralling panic attack the morning after) but Syd doesn't have the exact same issues and trauma that Carmy has so I can't see Syd being with or sleeping with someone she doesn't feel connected to like that. I could be wrong but I can't see her changing her mind about Marcus and suddenly dating him at this point. She seems like someone who knows what she wants and won't settle for less just because it's available. (Not that Marcus is "less" than anyone, my sweet little cherub.) I could see her feeling a connection to Luca though, he's basically a calm version of Carmy that pays attention.

Ayo basically saying in an interview that Will Poulter pays attention to her instead of his phone was such a random piece of info imo. I get it made context in the story she was telling but it just seems like such a deliberate pointed thing to bring up knowing right now in the show Syd doesn't feel appreciated or listened to by Carmy. She could've answered the question without mentioning Will at all tbh, and even if she did mention him she didn't need to mention all of that, give us a whole backstory and everything, idk. This might be a reach but I'm pretty sure they give out of context clues like this in interviews, they definitely do it in the show so I wouldn't be surprised.

I think it was a clue about the dynamic between Syd and Luca in S3 and the difference between Carmy and Luca is Carmy's unfocused and makes Syd feel like he doesn't listen to her but Luca makes her feel like he pays attention to her. I still don't think this needs to be in a romantic sense but I'm happy for Syd to get some TLC from a hot blond guy with tattoos before Carmy sees sense.

Idk we'll see how that story plays out in S3 but if the fact Luca pays attention to her is a plot point (even a subtextual one) I'm taking that story from Ayo as an out of context spoiler.

I love Marcus and I adore Lionel BUT I just can't see Marcus and Syd being together. Their vibe is so brother/sister to me that it would just be weird at this point in the show imo. The same way sydcarmy ending the show only ever being "platonic co-workers" would give me weird inappropriate vibes about their dynamic throughout the show. The romantic dynamic between sydcarmy and the platonic dynamic between Syd x Marcus are kinda set in stone imo, especially after S2. It'll be very difficult from a literary standpoint to drastically change those dynamics in a believable way and keep the quality of storytelling and integrity of the show intact at this point. It's not impossible, I just don't think it's likely at all.

I'll be honest, I'm not looking forward to Marcus's storyline in S3. My mum died when I was young so seeing kids (even if they're adults) attending their mum's funeral on shows/movies always makes me emotional, especially when it's a character I care about. (If we get a flashback of Syd at her mum's funeral I might actually die of sadness bc I'm not ready for that! I've had enough time to accept I'm gonna see Marcus's mum's funeral but if they spring Syd's mum's funeral on me too it might actually break me idk.) I am looking forward to seeing him be supported through it though and other than his mother's funeral storyline I'm excited to see where his story goes in S3. I feel like Carmy's gonna be an asshole to him if he starts getting closer to Syd and while I love the angst and jealousy of SydCarmy he better not hurt Marcus's feelings or be too hard on him. I can't wait for some Marcus x Luca scenes too.

I nearly forgot the loml, Tina! I'm so excited to see her story in S3, idek what to expect other than her backstory episode that Ayo's directing 🙌🏽 but I'm sure I will love it. Liza does so well in this role at making me feel things (all of the cast do tbh but Liza as Tina just plucks my heartstrings on a different level.)

If you read this far, thank you I appreciate you 💛

[straightouttasantacarla]

Can you write a luke Patterson fanfic where the reader is also apart of their own band? 🥺🥺

Still into you ( Luke Patterson x reader)

Warnings : brief mention of alcohol but no one actually drinks brief swearing not a lot of use of ( y/n) pet names ( babe baby)

very fluffy. The story also takes place in 1994 a year before the boys death

READERS POV

" Thank you everyone for coming tonight . Until next time!" I smile while running off stage with the rest of my band. E just performed one of the biggest shows for our band tonight . One step closer to playing the orpheum. " That was sick guys!" My bandmate and lead guitarist Natalie cheers. " We're gonna play the orpheum soon." " That we are Nat. if we keep performing like that we will be opening for bands like Green Day , The Smashing Pumpkins , hell maybe even Blink 182." I fantasize draping an arm across Natalie's shoulders.

" Someones at the door." Darcie calls out. She walks over opening it and there stands my boyfriend Luke Patterson and his band mates. He smiles brightly walking over to me. "Hey baby. You were great out there." My bass player Crystal clears her throat behind us making us turn around. " Right sorry you were all great out there tonight . " Crystal smirks, " Thank you Luke." All the other girls giggle and thank him too.. Alex walks over bringing me into a hug. " I'm so proud of you. You too ladies!" He says making sure to compliment them so he doesn't make anyone feel left out.

Luke walks up behind me kissing my cheek."you guys should come over to Bobby's. we've got a party set up with snacks and drinks." "Snacks?" Darcie hops up off the couch . "Drinks? What kind of drinks?" Yazmin my drummer questions."soda water juice I don't know." " Alcohol ?" Bobby shakes his head no. " My parents would kill me if we had alcohol " " damn it." Sighs Yazmin. " Come on guys lets go." Luke grabs my hand leading me to his car.

* TIME SKIP*

We arrive at Bobby's which is also the boys' studio. The studio is decorated with balloons streamers and there's even a banner with our bandwrote across it. In the middle of the room is a table with different snacks and drinks. " Babe you didn't have to do this or us." "Yeah well we wanted to. You're our friends and we are proud of you guys." I hug him while holding his face kissing him. " I love you. " I love you too" " hey lovebirds come hang out with us." Reggie butts in.

We all sit around for the next few hours playing games talking about music and filling up on junk food " hey darcie come here." She walks over to me sipping on her Capri sun like its Don Perignon. "What's up?" " I think I wanna play the song." darcie smiles. " Great I'll go tell the girls." "Thank you you're the best." I hug her before she runs off to get the girls. " You having fun?" Luke wraps his arm around my shoulder "yeah I am. Again you didn't have to do this. " Babe you guys literally played one of the biggest shows of your career. You're closer to playing the orpheum than we are." He laughs. "Maybe." "Y/N" come here." Natalie pulls my hand dragging me to over to the boys' instruments.

I walk up to the microphone stand adjusting it to my height. " Boys if we can have your attention wed like to play a special song. " The boys sit down to watch us. Like looks at me with love filled eyes. Yazmin starts in on the drums as I sing.

"Can't count the years on one hand

That we've been together

I need the other one to hold you

Make you feel, make you feel better

It's not a walk in the park

To love each other

But when our fingers interlock,

Can't deny, can't deny you're worth it

Cause after all this time I'm still into you"

I smile as I grab the mic off the stand dancing around.

"I should be over all the butterflies

But I'm into you (I'm into you)

And baby even on our worst nights

I'm into you (I'm into you)

Let 'em wonder how we got this far

Cause I don't really need to wonder at all

Yeah, after all this time I'm still into you"

I continue dancing as the look of love grows in Luke's eyes.

" Recount the night that

I first met your mother

And on the drive back to my house

I told you that, I told you that I loved ya"

* FLASHBACK *

I still remember the first night met Emily. She was so welcoming and so sweet. Her and I got along so well we baked cookies after dinner. When Luke took me home sat in the car thinking about how in love with him I truly was. "I love you Luke." Luke braked and pulled off to the side of the road. " What?" " I love you Luke Patterson." He took one last look at me before kissing me. " I love you too" Ever since we've grown more in love with each other day by day.

* FLASHBACK OVER*

"You felt the weight of the world

Fall off your shoulder

And to your favorite song

We sang along to the start of forever

And after all this time I'm still into you"

I sang the chorus once more as I jump and dance around feeling the happiness of the song.

" Well, some things just,

some things just make sense

And one of those is you and I

Some things just,some things

just make sense And even after all this time"

I make my way over to Luke standing in front of him.

" I'm into you and baby not a day

Goes by that I'm not into you."

I pull Luke up off the couch to sing the chorus with me our voices mixing together in the perfect harmony.

" I'm still into you."

We finish the song looking into each others eyes forheads pressed together. " I love you." We say in unison laughing before kissing. As we pull away our friend clap for us making me giggle. " That song was incredible." " Thank you. And thank you again for being the incredible inspiration"

AUTHOR SPEAKS:

Thank you for reading. I really appreciate those of you who read my stories and interact with my post. I hope those of you who read this story enjoyed it. The song that helped me write this story was still into you by Paramore. As always my requests are always open so feel free to leave suggestions.

[nykie-love-anime]

Baby Come Back

Natasha encourages Y/N and Jake to go on a ‘date’ together while the squad takes care of the baby and their teens. Bradley takes Ally to the park and flirts with a cute girl, then brings back the wrong pram, and therefore the wrong baby.

Based on Good Luck Charlie Season 1, Episode 2.

Warnings: Cursing, loosing a child

“Hi, Ally. It's Natasha here your favourite aunt. So, right now, you're eleven months old, and everything is going great.” Natasha starts talking, looking into the camera. “Well, almost everything. Now, what I’m about to show you is kind of disturbing. It may give you nightmares in the future. So brace yourself Al.” Natasha goes into the kitchen with the video camera and walks past Javy. Bradley is sitting at the table with his earphones in his ears. Natasha pans in closer to Y/N and Jake, who are at the kitchen table making sandwiches and are talking like babies.

“Hmm, these sandwiches will be yummy-wummy in your tummy.” Y/N said talking to Jake in her highest baby voice. “Yes they will, yes they will.” Jake answers back smiling at Y/N. Natasha turns the camera back to her again. “Mommy and daddy have been talking like that ever since you arrived, and if it's not over soon, I’m gonna go queasy-weasy. All over the kitchen floor.” Natasha closes the video camera and puts it down on the island. Over at the table, Javy is yelling at Bradley. “Bradley!” Javy shouts waving his hand in front of Bradley’s face. “What?” he yells back taking out his earphones. “What are you listening to?” he questions the male as they look at Y/N and Jake who continuously talking in their baby voices.

“I downloaded a podcast on the history of boring facts and it’s currently on why people fear spiders more than they do death.” Bradley answers with his head tilting to look up at Javy. “You like stuff like that?” “A lot more than baby talk.” Rooster smiles as they both look at Natasha who rolled her eyes at the parents still busy making sandwiches for their trip to the beach. By the kitchen island Y/N hands Jake a box of cookies. “Would you like some cookie wookies with your snacky wacky’s?” “Yes I would, yes I would.” Jake continues the baby talk. Natasha is in front of them at the island chairs and points at the pram which is empty no baby in sight.

“Guys, Ally isn't even here.” Natasha noticed. “No, little baby is taking a nappy-wappy.” Jake smiles at Nat who just shakes her head. “So why are you guys still talking like that if she’s not even here?” “I don't weally know.” Y/N said looking down at the sandwich she was currently making. “I guess we're just fried.” “Well we fly all day, take care of the baby all night.” Jakes starts laughing quietly. “Work, baby, work, baby. I barely got time to make poo-poo.” “Well, when was the last time you guys had a night out?” Natasha asks and Y/N and Jake turn towards each other. “You know, like a date! Just you and Jake.” The tired parents look at each other seriously for a second but then burst out laughing.

“Natasha made a funny.” Y/N looks at Phoenix and through the laughter she answered Jake. “Funny-wunny.” “No, but seriously guys,” She starts with determination in her voice. “You know what Saturday night. You two. You go out, you have fun, and do something besides work and taking care of the baby.” Natasha walks over and joins the boys at their table.

“Well, it's nice to dream, really, but who is going to take care of Ally?” Natasha leans in between Javy and Bradley and puts her arm around them. “Hello?” Nat says questioningly. “You've got three great babysitters right here. And we will even do it for free.” Y/N and Jake stand in front of their team. “I don’t know, Natasha, it's a really nice thought, but we haven’t gone out without Ally yet and I don’t know about the guys looking after her, no offence.” Y/N says turning towards the guys and the boys just change the subject. “You guys want to see a magic trick?” “Sure!” Y/N said with a grin on her face. “Okay.” Jake agreed.

“Prepare to be amazed.” Javy says with his best magician-like voice, rubbing his hands together get ready for his best prank magic show ever. Coyote waits a second and then pulls the sheet off the table from beneath, the plates, cutlery and glasses goes flying of the table smashing everywhere all over the floor. Y/N and Jake pull faces at the mess. “I could use a night out.” Y/N walks off. “Clean this shit up guys.” Jake says pointing at the floor.

- - - Skip to Saturday - - -

Natasha is walking Y/N and Jake to the door as they get ready to go out. She is holding Ally with a smile. “So you guys have fun. Stay out as late as you want.” She starts with a smile before pausing for a second to think. “But not too much fun, we don’t need any more, little Seresin’s running around.” Phoenix said pointing at the four teenagers sitting on the couch watching TV. Jake laughs. Y/N pats Ally goodbye before walking towards the door. “Okay bye baby girl be good for Aunty Nat. Please look after the others as well and make sure they don’t just sit in front of the TV all day. Make sure they go out for a bit at least.” Y/N says stressing about leaving the baby alone but knowing she will be in capable hands.

“I'm serious.” Natasha said pausing Jake just before he can exit. “Okay, everyone. Be good, have fun. Love you.” Y/N said calling into the living room and the teens just grumbled goodbyes not wanting to be disturbed from their current favourite show. Y/N finally walks out the door, Bradley and Javy are on the couch watching something on their laptop not currently into the show on the TV.

“Yeah, yeah...” they trailed off uninterested. “Hey Phoe, thanks for doing this. It's going to be good for us have to have some special time together.” Jake moves towards the door waving goodbye to little Ally. “Be good my little girl we will see you later”

Natasha walks over to the couch, still holding Ally, to talk to the boys and the four teenagers lounging on the couch. “Okay guys, gals and no-binary pals. Who wants to go first?” Natasha questions looking at everyone in the living room. “I think you should go first.” Bobby the oldest of the kids answered. “Since this was your idea why don’t you spend the day with her.” Sam continued.

“Hey, I’m not doing this all by myself! You guys have to help out, your mom and dad agreed to go out with those terms.” Natasha said pointing at the kids along with Javy and Bradley. Rooster sighed standing up from the couch. “Fine I will go forth.” “There is no fourth. We all go.”

“No. What I meant; I shall go forth to the park to shoot some hoops." Bradley goes to walk out, and Natasha pulls him back by his hoodie. “If you want to go to the park so badly, then why don't you just take Ally? And take the little Seresin’s with you while Javy, Melissa and I go to the store to get food for later.” “Well what's a baby supposed to do at a park?” Bobby asks Natasha as he groans standing up. Natasha passes Ally into Bradley’s arms.

“Babies love parks.” She begins explaining “You can show her the duck pond...the blue, blue sky...the clouds... you choose what you want.” “We're just going to look at shi…stuff?” Sam cuts herself off before she gets reprimanded by her aunt. “That's what TV is for!” she complains just like her older brother. Natasha points to the door then at Bradley as if to encourage their departure.

At the park, Ally is lying in her stroller to the side of the see-saw area. Bradley is having a good old time on a blue swing set that he is far too big for. A young girl is waiting in line to have a go and is looking impatiently at Bradley as he swings back and forth shouting with enjoyment. “Yes! Whoa!” Bradley cheers swinging on the swing. “What are you looking at? I was here first.” 

“Hey, you can ride that horse. I'd look silly on the horse.” The little girl just continues to stare at him. “Fine.” Bradley climbs of the swinging tyre as he walks towards the pram with the rest of the Seresin clan. Dropping down to Ally’s level he begins talking excitedly. “Hey there little Ally. Are you having just as much fun as I am.” He stands upright with a smile pushing the sun cover down and begins walking forward as the groups follows behind him. Just as they are moving forward a middle aged man runs through the park in a blue skintight suit. With a red cape flowing as he comes to a stop next to the group.

“Hey. Have yo-you seen a-a kids party around here somewhere? I'm the entertainment for them.” The man asks out of breath from just running across the park grounds. “I saw a jumping castle at the other end of the park.” Bradley points behind him and the man sighs. The man continues on his journey just as Sam turns towards him to ask. “Who are you supposed to be, anyway? Plastic man? Rubber man?” “Oh no, those are all registered trademarks.” He begins explaining. I’m Captain Joe.”

“So what's your superpower Captain Joe?” “Super elasticity.” Captain Joe walks off just as Bradley turns to walk away with the stroller and notices a beautiful young lady coming his way, with the exact same stroller. His face lights up as he is automatically attracted to her, she smiles at him in return. Bradley does a loop around her, bumping into a post, until he is at her side.

“Hi.” He says with a stupid grin on his face. “Hi.” She greets back. “I, ah... I like your taste in strollers.” He said looking at the duplicate pram and this causes the girl to giggle. “Hehe... Thanks, I like your taste as well.” She looks at Ally and with a soft voice. “Oh, wow! That baby is so adorable.” “You too.” Bradley being the sappy dumbass replies and she looks stunned for a second before going back to a smile on her face. “Oh, I mean... Your baby… the baby is cute too.” He stutters over his words and the Seresin’s all giggle at the display in front of them

“I'm Sofia.” “I'm Bradley.” He replies the starts pointing at Sofia’s pram. “And who is this little guy?” Sofia smiles at Bradley. “This little man here is my nephew. We're just out for our stroll waiting for his mom and dad to finish work. We do this every day.” “We as well.” Rooster said trying to impress Sofia. “Like I always say, babies love parks. Would you like to sit for a bit?” he said pointing towards where the picnic tables are.

“Sure.” She replied with a giggle. The two of them push their strollers over to the chairs as they sit. The rest of the group stunned not expecting this to go so well for the fumbling idiot. “So, I saw you talking to Captain Joe earlier.” “Oh, yeah the man was lost. Not much of a superhero, am I right?” “Oh yeah, he's the worst. My brother hired him for Tommy’s birthday. The fricking guy ate all the snacks that were provided for kids. And to make matters worse he sat on the cupcakes.” She shook her head still astounded at the memory of that awful day.

“That sounds awful.” Bradley shakes his head not wanting to image something like that happening to little Ally. “Oh don’t even get me started.” “That is so weird. I mean, he looks like such a quality entertainer.” The two of them chuckle. “You know, Bradley, I’m really impressed that you take your little one to the park. My brothers would never do anything like that.” “Well, she is my niece after all so I love going out with her, now her brothers and sisters not always.” Sofia and Bradley chuckle again. The rest of the group just scoffs and silently curse Bradley and his stupid charms.

Back home at the house, Natasha is sitting on the couch and Javy is standing in front of her wearing a magician's hat. “Now, watch closely. In this hand, I have a coin.” Javy says holding the coin to show Natasha. “And in the other hand, an ordinary egg.” Coyote takes off his hat and places both objects inside. “Now, I put them both inside this hat. Spin them around a little and ta-da.” Javy tips the hat upside down and just the coin fall out.

The silence that follows their cheers are interrupted as the Seresin clan along with Bradley bursts through the front door and Bradley comes walking through with an energetic persona, pram in front of him, a big smile on his face. “I love this baby!” Bradley exclaims with a massive grin on his face. “Any time she wants to go to the park, sign me the hell up.” Natasha stood up from the couch

“What on God’s green earth happened to you?” Bobby shuts the front door, and Javy and Sam lies comfortably on the couch cuddling each other. “Let's just say... Ally made a friend; Bradley made a friend.” Natasha look at Ally’s pram but smells something off.

“Oh, and did either you or your friend bother to change a diaper while out on your excursion?” Natasha takes the stroller and walks around the lounge. “There was no time for that.” He argues. “I was too busy talking to Sofia.” He sits down on the couch beside Melissa who is currently reading. “And who's this Sofia?” Melissa questions not even looking up from her book. “A vision... An angel... The girl who has my whole heart.” Bradley sighs dreamily.

“Bradley...” Nat panics looking into the pram. “What?” he questions with a stupid grin on his stupid face Natasha wanted to smack of. “You brought home the wrong baby!” she exclaims “What? I did not...!” he tried laughing it off. Bobby and James walks over to the stroller and are stunned as they notice that Natasha’s previous statement is true and begins oohing. “Bradley did bring home the wrong baby!”

“Mom and dad are gonna kill you.” “Take a look... Wrong parts!” Natasha says removing the diaper. As the four look inside the stroller, a big spray of urine comes out as if it was aimed directly for them. Thankfully they all dodged it, only just missing the stream. James goes to the join Melissa couch. Bradley and Natasha remain standing in shock as they come to terms with what has just happened.

“How the fuck could you bring home the wrong baby?!” Phoenix asks frustrated. “I'm very sorry, I got a little distracted...Sofia is really cute.” Bradley says grinning “Yeah?” Natasha say smacking Bradley on his forehead. “Well, so is my niece.” She says walking towards the door with the stroller. “Come on, let's go to the park and find her.” “Relax! I got her number.” He says with a grin

“Well, then what the hell are you waiting for? Call her! I want my niece back before Y/N and Jake gets home.” Bradley goes to get his phone from his pocket... But hesitates... Then sits down on the couch. “Wait a minute...is it too soon?” Bradley asks unsure. “If I call now, she'll think I’m desperate.”

“Oh for fuck sake.” Natasha mutters under her breath and the teens chuckles along with Javy. “You are fucking desperate man.” Coyote tries to help Natasha “Good point.” Bradley gets to his feet and dials up Sofia’s number, raising the phone to his ears as he talks. “Hello...? Is Sofia there?” he questions raising an eyebrow. “This is a KFC?” Natasha rolls her eyes.

“She gave you the wrong number man.” Bobby teased the brown hair male who sunk into the couch shocked. “Who couldn't see that one coming?” James continues his brothers teasing. “But... I gave her sweets... It was so romantic.” He mutters disappointed. “Well... What do we do now?” Natasha's phone starts ringing. She goes over and looks put off as she inspects the caller id. “Fuck man now of all times.” She whispers to herself

“Hey Y/N, what up?” she answers the phone listening to you speak on the other end. “Yeah, everything's going… great. Why wouldn't it be?” Nat fake laughs. “We're...we're just having a good time here with the baby.” Phoenix starts panicking. “Yeah, sure you can talk to him... her, her!”  she holds the phone down to the pram “Talk to mommy Al...” Quickly realising she must make something up, starts making baby noises. “What do you mean that didn't sound like Ally?” she listens to you and sighs softly. Alright, bye... Say bye Ally!” Nat continues makes distant baby noises and fades it off as she hangs up the phone.

“Not that I’m in any position to criticize, but I was getting more, monkey than baby.” Bradley says with a smirk and this time Javy whacked him across the backside of his head. Natasha walks towards the door pushing the pram out of the house. “Let's go to the park to fix Bradley’s fuck up.” Phoenix says pointing at Javy. “Bradley since you decided to be an idiot you get to stay home with these guys.” Before he could protest Javy did it for him. “We don’t know what she looks like so maybe I should stay home so that Bradley can point out what she looks like.”

Natasha comes walking into the park, panicked, and pushing the stroller in front of her. Bradley and Bobby are coming in right behind her. “I don't see her.” Bradley says looking around. “Bradley, what did she look like?” “She was hot, literal angel but I don’t see how that matters?” Bradley ‘Dumbass’ Bradshaw answered and Nat sighs and before Bradley could go on Bobby cuts him off. “Maybe we should call someone.”

“Captain Joe!” Bradley exclaims. Pointing over to the other entrance of the park, where Captain Joe is still hanging out. “Who is that?” Natasha questions Bobby as Bradley runs over to Captain Joe. He seems happy. “You're still here?” “Yip every Saturday, all day long.” “Just the guy we needed to see. I think you can maybe help us.”

“Hey, man, I’m just an entertainer.” Captain Joe starts to walk off. The three of them follows after him. “No, you don't understand. I was talking to a pretty woman here earlier, and she said that you worked a party for her brother’s kid.” “So you have to be more specific? I've worked lots of parties.” “Where was the party where you sat on the cupcakes?” “Please Captain Joe. This is really important. We need to find her.” Nat pleads the man now in normal clothing. “Interesting situation. You kids need info, and I want food.” He says rubbing his belly

“Her name's Sofia. Did she come back to the park?” Bradley asks Joe. “Well...” he rubs his fingers together as though looking for money. “Maybe she did, or maybe she didn't. “Stop rubbing your fingers together and answer his fucking question man!” Natasha all but yelled at the man and Bobby just sighs. “He wants a bribe.”

Bradley mutters curses under his breath as he reaches into his pocket and gets out his wallet, passing Captain Joe a note. “Here, man now please give us anything you have.” “Yeah...yeah, I know the girl. She comes from a big family, eight kids. I’ve been a lot of characters for them.” “Magic Marvel?” Bobby questions grinning now all of a sudden. “Yeah!” Captain Joe answers with glee. “You're familiar with my work?” “Yeah!...And it sucks.” Bobby starts with a grin. “My uncle is just starting and he is a better magician than you are.”

Natasha eyes off Captain Joe as he scurries away. “Look, sir, do you know where she lives? Please this is important.” Natasha calmed down a bit and gives him a pleading look. “Yeah,  it is around here somewhere. I'd know it when I see it.” “Great!” Phoenix grins. “You help us tonight, and we'll get you that plate of food you have been craving.” She says with a smile. “But only if you help us otherwise you are on your own here man.” “Yeah, I get it I will help you guys.” Captain Joe smiles

“All right. Come on guys, we have to go find her.” Natasha said walking towards the exit of the park. “Okay. Captain Joe, blast off!” He says in character and points his arms up towards the sky like a superhero and turns left. “Truck's this way my guy.” Bobby teased. “Oh, right...” he trailed of embarrassed. He turned around and followed the group towards their car. Embarrassed, Captain Joe turns around and follows the group out of the park.

Y/N and Jake are sitting a table in a really cute restaurant, looking at the menu. “Order whatever you want, honey. I get a discount here. This place is one of my family’s best customers.” Jake says proudly and you smiled at your husband. He could go on and on with family business. Across from where Y/N and Jake are sitting, there is a family that has a stroller next to their table. The baby inside starts crying.

“Aww, look at that it's a little baby in a pram just like ours.” Y/N sighs longingly looking at the stroller. “Okay, honeybun, this is supposed to be a night away from the baby, just you and I, so let's go back to us.” Jake smiles at his wife but can’t help but miss their little miss as well. “Okay. I'm back, I’m back! I’m just going to run to the ladies room really quick.”

“Okay baby girl be right back! Once your back maybe we can order some dessert, how does that sound?” Jake grins as she give him thumbs up and he returns it, Y/N rolls her eyes and continues on. As she passes the family’s table, she looks inside the stroller, smiles and continues past but then notices that the baby inside the stroller is familiar. She quickly turns back and takes another look. The family looks at her like she has grown two heads but all she can do is stare back.

Y/N now waving; awkwardly turns and smiles at the family still looking at her. “Ciao.” She smiles then pauses. “Arrivederci.” Walking towards the table angrily she taps Jake on the back, and speaks in a hushed, agitated tone. “Jake! Would you go over there and look at that baby? I think it's our little Ally!”

Jake in disbelief exclaims. “What. Baby what the hell are you talking about.” “You heard me!” she starts pointing at the pram. “That is Ally! Our little Ally is in that pram.” “Sweetheart, would you please sit down?” “I will not sit down.” Y/N sighs agitated all of a sudden. “A mother knows her baby.” She whispered. “And that is my baby girl right there.” “Okay, honey…” Jake trails off. “What do you think happened in the last hour, somebody went to our house, borrowed our baby, then brought her out for pasta?” Jake grins as he looks out your shoulders dropping

“I don't know. It's a big family.” She says still looking at the family across from them. “Maybe that's how they get their babies!” she says with a smile. “Sweetheart, please...” Jake begins laughing as he thinks over what Y/N just said. “I know you know how babies are made; we had a lot and I mean a lot of practice on how they are conceived. I think you're just missing Ally. And you're having a little separation anxiety.”

Y/N finally comes to her senses and she calms down, brushes her hair away from her face. “Oh, okay...you're...right.” In a high pitched voice she points to her head with a smile she muttered ‘crazy’.” The two of them chuckle as she sits down again. “I mean, that is impossible, right?” she mutters with a smile on her face. “Exactly.” He says with a teasing smile.

“I'm just gonna go to the ladies room one more time.” Y/N says standing up from her chair already looking towards the family across from them “Sit your ass down baby. Don’t make me pull you over my knee in the middle of a restaurant.” Y/N sits down again sighing.

“Now let's enjoy the rest of our night out.” Jake smiles pointing his glass towards her to clink. “At this very lovely restaurant. Okay?” “Okay.” Y/N nods agreeing to his statement. A waiter from the restaurant comes over and whispers something in Jake’s ear, while Y/N is distracted eating something from the entrée that was still on the table. Jake dismisses the waiter. “I'm needed in the kitchen something about the beef cuts being wrong.”

Out on the streets, Bradley is driving around with Nat, Bobby and Captain Joe around. They are looking around, calling out for Ally. Natasha and Bradley are in the front, Bobby in the back with Captain Joe. “Ally?” Natasha calls after rolling down her window and Bradley isn’t far behind. “Sofia?” but so far there is nothing but houses around them. “Ally?” she tries again even though it is useless because baby Ally can’t answer. “Sofia?” but to no avail she also does not answer.

“Marco?” Bobby yells bored out of his mind even though they are looking for his sister. “Polo!” Captain Joe follows and Bobby smiles before looking out the window again. “Bobby this is not fricking helping! Joe, does any of this look familiar even if it is just a little bit?” Natasha angrily sighs. “Maybe it does...maybe it doesn't.”

“Hey!” she exclaims and they all look shock for a moment at the loudness of her yell. “You are not getting any more fucking money out of us man please I asked you nicely the first time and now I am getting angry so please just help us or get out of the fricking car.” “Nat getting so worked up is not going to help bring her back we have to remain calm to think rationally.” “Your right sorry, but this is my niece we are talking about.” She begins calming down before looking at Joe in the mirror.

“Sorry Captain Joe. It’s just…her parents entrusted us to look after her when they go out for the first time in a while so I just wanted them to have one night of peace. Sorry for yelling I shouldn’t have yelled at you that wasn’t nice and you are trying to help us find her so it is all good.” “It is really not problem miss I would get the same if someone lost my baby/niece. No, all I meant I have a bit of night blindness you know. So all...all I’m seeing is shapes and trees.” He explained looking back out of the road.

“Why didn't you mention it earlier?” Bobby grumbled knowing Natasha is going to yell at Joe if she says something to the older man again. “Sorry but I needed a ride home. Stop here.” Bradley stops the car at the traffic light. “Okay well if you go down four houses I believe her brother lives there so hopefully they are home.” Captain Joe takes off his seatbelt and gets out of the car. “Night, Captain.” “Good night, Captain Joe.” Bobby says with a wave.

“Goodnight guys, again thanks for the ride and I hope you find your niece before her parents get home.” Captain Joe smiles before closing the door and walks into his house and out of sight for the group in the car. “Okay well lets go to that house and hopefully they are there. I really hope they are home otherwise Bradley you have to explain to Y/N and Jake you lost their baby girl on the one night they are out.” Natasha sighs rubbing her hand over her face to calm down her nerves. Bradley's drives towards the fourth house as mentioned but they all had a bad feeling as they see no lights on.

Getting out of the car they all go up to the door to knock. They waited a minute but no one answered. “Fuck.” Bradley mutters under his breath.  “Now what do we do?” Bobby finally realising they are not seeing his baby sister anywhere begins panicking but Nat quickly pulls him into a hug calming him down a bit. “Well, can go look at the other side of the park we haven’t look there.” “Yeah,” Phoenix agrees. “But we can't just keep driving around all night.” They all but sigh. “Okay it's over. We have to tell Y/N and Jake.” “But...I…” Bradley started but was cut off by Natasha interrupting him

“No, it'll be okay. They'll know what to do. They always know what to do in these situations they are wonderful parents and we are awful babysitters and now Y/N is never going to let us babysit ever again. That is if Jake doesn’t kill us the moment he realises we lost his baby girl.” Bradley looks ashamed of himself, looking down all of a sudden as Natasha finishes talking.

“How the hell am I gonna tell them I lost their little girl?” Bradley pauses thinking for a bit. “I’m the oldest...I’m supposed to be the responsible one. They're going to kill me and I deserve it.” “Bradley, if it makes you feel any better...nobody thinks you should be the responsible one if you’re the oldest. They expect all of us to be responsible no matter who looks after Ally.”

Bradley takes a deep breath. “Why do I always mess everything up?” “You know what?” Bobby starts. “This could have happened to any of us but we're all in it together okay man.” “Thanks.” Bradley mumbled cheering up a little, looking at his friend and his nephew before driving off again.

Back at the restaurant, Y/N and Jake now have their dessert. There is a band of three people quietly playing Italian music with their instruments on the little stage, right next to their table. Jake moves his head to the beat, as he seems to enjoy it. Y/N, on the other hand, is sitting there with her arm on her forehead as though she is nursing a headache.

They finish after a few seconds more and Y/N claps them off, happy as they walk away to take a quick break. Not long after that, Natasha along with the pram, Bradley and Bobby enter into the restaurant from around the corner. “There they are.” Bobby points spotting his parents. “All right, let’s get this over with.” Phoenix sighs. “Do…do you think it would be better if we have the band deliver the news? Or are they going to know something is up.” “Well, if it's Italian, probably better for all of us. But we have to face them sooner or later.” As the band walks away from the stage, Bradley notices straight away that it is Sofia’s family sitting there. Bradley stops Natasha from walking over to the parents.

“Wait, wait! I don't believe it.” Bradley sighs relieved seeing the pram and a panicked Sofia. “That's Sofia!” “Oh, wait, so that's Ally? Because she does look stressed.” Natasha says hopeful. “Yes! We're so fucking saved!” “Not quite.” Bobby says as Bradley and Natasha have seem to forgotten one thing one big important thing...the parents. Y/N and Jake are waving at them. Y/N has a very happy smile on her face. “Hey, guys what are you all doing here?”

The three of them wave back with uncomfortable smiles. “What now?” “Ah...I’ll let you know when I think of a plan of action.” Natasha walks over to Y/N and Jake’s table. “Hi guys.” Nat greets them stopping in front of their table. “Hey.” Jake greets back. “Well, we just realised you must be missing sweet little Ally, so we...brought her.” Natasha points behind her with a smile. “Oh, Natasha. You're not fooling me.”

“I'm not?” she questions alarmed but not saying anything as not to get caught. “Nope you haven’t. You've spent a little too much time with Ally. And you're ready to hand her over to us early.” “Well, I wouldn't say too much time.” She cringed at the thought of them finding out. “Well, I am so ready.” Y/N sighs happy prolonging the ‘dy’. “So let me at her! Gimme, gimme, gimme.” Y/N starts to stand up to head to the pram at the door, but Natasha stops her.

“Y/N! Y/N! You're on a date why don’t you sit back down let me bring her to you.” “Okay...” she trails of looking at her best friend as if she has grown two heads. Natasha runs back over to the entrance where Bradley and Bobby are. Natasha leans over and whispers something in Bobby’s ear. “I want you to do what Uncle Javy did a few days ago.” She whispers.

“Here?” he asks surprised. Natasha whispers again. “Yes I want it to be messy right now.” “Now? Well, all right.” He says with a grin as he starts walking towards his parents table. Bobby walks over to Y/N and Jake’s table. “Hey mom!” Bobby greets his mom with a smile. “Hey, baby.” She greets back before Bobby turns to Jake. “Hey, dad.” “Hi buddy.” Jake smiles at his oldest kid who is like a carbon copy of when he was Bobby’s age.

“There is something I want to show you and mom.” He starts. “What is it, Bobby?” Bobby is going to do his uncle’s magic trick from a few days again. He reaches for the tablecloth underneath all of his parents food and pulls it right out. Food goes flying all over Y/N face, Jake’s clothes are a mess of red wine and dessert. Everything happens as if it is in slow motion. “No!” Jake yells. But it's too late everything is already a mess.

As this distracts Y/N and Jake from what is about to happen, Natasha quickly picks up the baby boy inside Ally's stroller as Sofia also takes the opportunity and pickup Ally from her brother's pram because she too saw the opportunity to get back her nephew in the chaos that ensues. Natasha runs over, almost bumping into the band who was coming back to their stage, and twirls around as she and Sofia swap babies.

Natasha runs back to Ally's pram and places her niece right where she should be, where she belongs. Bradley lets a triumphant grin cover his face as the babies are switches before either parent could notice. Natasha pulls the cover down and she quickly stands up, flicking her hair back behind her ear. Thankfully Y/N and Jake are still completely oblivious. Y/N looks angrily at Bobby, she has custard all over her dress and wine dripping down her face. Bobby tries to look innocent.

“And now for my next trick...I’m gonna make a teen disappear!” he runs back to the entrance of the restaurant. Bobby runs away quicker than ever and out the door. Bradley walks over and meets Sofia, who has been standing there for a while. “You know, you should be ashamed of yourself.” He begins with a frown. “You lead a guy on, make him think you have a really great connection...all to give him a fake phone number.” Bradley holds his phone for her to see.

Sofia who is currently looking at the screen notices a mistake. “You put it in the wrong last digit. That 5 is supposed to be an 8.” Bradley looks down now all of a sudden embarrassed. And Sofia can’t help but to giggle at the dumbfounded look on his face.

“Oh...my bad. So do you wanna get a table?” he questions and she smiles again. “Well I tell you what I am just going to finish my wine then we can get out of here before my brother realises I almost lost his baby boy.” Bradley can’t help but grin. “That sounds good can’t wait.” She waves goodbye as she turns to her table to quickly finish her wine then leaving her share of money for the bill and the joins Bradley at the door to go on their date.

“My widdle baby.” Y/N in a baby voice, greets Ally. “Did you miss mommy and daddy?” she giggles at her silly parents. “Yes you did, yes you did.” Jake continues his baby talk as well. Natasha is smiling now, probably from shock that they pulled everything off, that they did, without the parents realising they almost lost little Ally. “I never thought I’d be so happy to hear baby talk.” Natasha sighs in relieve while taking to herself when she realises no one is at her side. Y/N see she is holding a dummy that is definitely not Ally's.

“Nat, this isn't Ally's dummy.” She hands her the dummy with a racing car on the front instead of a heart along with a kitten. “Where did you get this dummy?” “Oh, hehe so funny story. You see, what happened was...” Natasha starts clicking her hands behind her back in a rush in hopes of getting the band to start playing again. Thankfully they got the signal and starts playing louder than they did previously. “It’s too loud I will tell you what happened later at home.” Natasha shrugged and Y/N and Jake just raised an eyebrow looking at each other.

- - - Back at the Seresin Residence - - -

Natasha is filming a video for little Ally. “Yeah so.” Phoenix prolonged the so. “Ally, now that you're home, safely, and everything turned out okay. Well actually just for you.” She clears her throat panning in on Ally playing in her ball pit. “It would've been okay for us too, but when we got home, your mommy and daddy started asking all these questions.” She sighs turning the camera back to her.

“And as you know no one really had an answer to their questions especially to the pee stain on the living room floor which not of your brothers, sisters of Uncle Javy cleaned up by the way.” She smiles into the camera before laughing. “Hehe so they got in trouble as well thankfully not just us.” Y/N comes into view of the video camera as she sits beside Natasha on the couch.

“And that's when the truth came out.” Jake cuts Y/N off with a smile as he sits next to his wife. “And all the kids and adults got into trouble.” Y/N says pointing a finger at the camera. “So, the lesson is, if you ever try to pull anything over on mom...well good luck Ally.” Y/N stands and walks off along with Jake, leaving Natasha all alone on the couch. “I really couldn't have said it better myself. Goodbye baby Al.” Natasha switches off the camera going to the kitchen to talk to Y/N and Jake about the punishment you guys have for all the kiddos and the adults.

Masterlist | Main Masterlist

[devilruin]

【 Please note! 】 ⎯⎯⎯ Please remember to look at each author's do not interact criteria and blog rules before interacting with them! Also, please check each work for specific tags!

if a link to a piece is :

⛧ ⋅  italicized ― it contains explicit content

⛧ ⋅  bold ― it contains dark content

⛧ ⋅  italicized and bold ― it contains both dark and explicit content

✧ @smalltasteofhoney ― biscuit radiates this warm and fluffy kind of energy, and her words flow like honey (hehe...), i love seeing her pop up on my dash sm! whenever i read a piece from her, i always wonder 'how did she know they'd do that?'

personal picks : yandere vil thoughts (a crooked crown really does look so pretty on him) , "you just don't know what's good for you" with vil (ouch, right in the feels...) , which twisted wonderland characters would babytrap their darling? (not pictured: me nodding me head and going "oh yeah, he'd do that") , what to expect in bed with the twisted wonderland boys? (adore all of these and completely agree!) , yandere gojo thought (i bet his darling rejoices while he's gone) , and some lilia brainrot (why is it that whenever he smiles, a chill runs up my spine?)

✧ @sugoscurry ― i love sugo's characterization so much! her lilia makes me absolutely feral and i think i've reread her alizarin series at least a few dozen times... she's got a great sense of humor too, and i have found myself wheezing at her author notes more than a few times (dios mio chicos always gets me)

personal picks : alizarin with lilia (the og lilia fuckers bedtime story) , alizarin crimson (sorry reader, i think you're doomed) , alizarin crimson hue (poor reader... i told you so) , petplay oneshot with crewel (bark bark woof woof) , explicit staff headcanons (best idea, take them all on) , general yandere staff headcanons (did you know that power and control go hand in hand?) , explicit disaomnia headcanons (maleficent sure knows how to pick them) , milf-maker with childe (he'd do anything to get his prize) , “you’ve been so good lately, my pet. don’t make me have to punish you.” with crewel (immediately wagging my non-existent tail at supersonic speed) , “you don’t even know how lucky you are. I protect you and provide for you. don’t act so ungrateful.” with crowley (well eXcuSE me then) , yandere incubus malleus (the only dream demon who i'd wake up for) , and who in nrc has a virginity kink? (corruption tastes so perfect late at night)

✧ @uvobreakmylegs ― if i could bottle up the sun and gift it to pika, i would. unfortunately i cannot, so i must settle with simply singing my praises about their superb writing. the setting of the scene, the interactions between characters, the descriptions of every twinge of emotion, everything is delicately crafted with their skilled hands, and all i can do is stare in awe.

personal picks : set pattern with hisoka (pure trashy clown behavior right here, it's perfect) , right place, right time with illumi (featuring the troupe is such a fun touch, i love the witty banter and mind games between illumi and chrollo!) , last day out with chrollo (goodbye sunlight...it was nice while it lasted) , hypnagogia with illumi (i can just imagine him letting out a breath of relief once he sees darling alive, only for his expression to immediately change to an eerily blank slate) , with greatest care with pakunoda (she's both cloyingly sweet and bitterly dark when it comes to her darling) , and the sixth floor game with shalnark (this honestly feels like it could be a real game and just the thought of playing it gives me the chills)

✧ @wri0thesley ― nat is a lovely person and deserves the whole world (with some free clothes of their choice) ! i come back to their works all the time, and love reading some of their longer works before bed! their writing sucks me in and makes it difficult for me to pull my eyes away from my screen!

personal picks : midnight musings with dottore and pantalone (all the trouble with double the pleasure) , dead & young & fair with diluc (another absolute top-tier vampire diluc work, i love how reader's relationship with diluc evolves through the piece) , dottore torturing diluc's captured wife (he would be this nasty, wouldn't he?) , pierro age gap (i'd happily turn into a sinner for this man nya) , everything that a big bad wolf could want with toji (brb gotta reapply my lip balm and fix my bunny dress) , kaeya with a hand and choking kink (the idea of there being a difference between the feel of his more calloused sword hand and his smoother non-dominant hand is sending me) , kaeya with a clumsy maid darling (don't mind me i'm just twirling my hair and giggling at the idea of going "oops, i sooo didn't mean to drop this plate in front of you" to him while bending over) , pulling on diluc's hair (i bet it would be so soft...) , wedding rings with toji (third wife status never looked so tempting...) , the machinist and the faerie with gojo (grade-a gojo right here! plus the faerie lore! the world-building! the characters!!! everything is put together so well, i really adore this piece) , and favorite (so far) with toji (do you hear that? it's my corruption kink popping off the walls)

✧ @wyvernne ― wyvernne is an absolute beast (in terms of both quantity and quality) when it comes to writing! when i first stumbled upon her vampire diluc work, i read it all in one setting, and it took me over an hour to finish (and i'm a fast reader!) it was totally worth all the tears and missed sleep!

personal picks : [links are to her works on ao3] for reasons wretched and divine with diluc (imho, this is THE vampire diluc work) , sometimes, all i think about is you with childe (he's such a fucking tease, the little shit) , and black hearted angels sunk me with kisses on my mouth with kaeya (he's so cruel and yet so lovely)

✧ @yandere-romanticaa ― ana is a collector of all things yandere, and her blog shows it! i love her red + black color scheme, and her aesthetic is always on point! she's a wonderful person and i have a hard time not falling in love with her lovely personality (especially when paired with her jokes!) sadly she does not have a masterlist, however just scrolling through her archive (with tags filtered) works too!

personal picks : yandere malleus draconia (who knew a pouty lizard could be so cute) , some thoughts on kaeya's flirtatiousness (i also agree that he's pretty damn guarded) , lilia vanrouge's yandere alphabet (gotta love me an ancient fae that can't cook to save a life!) , and yandere diluc headcanons (blushy, stuttering, yandere mess diluc!)

if you would like to be removed from this list, please let me know!

© 𝐝𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐥𝐫𝐮𝐢𝐧 — 𝐮𝐩𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝟏𝟏-𝟏𝟑-𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑

[yelenasdiary]

https://www.tumblr.com/yelenasdiary/714573048620204032/so-you-know-how-i-dont-post-on-weekends-yeah

HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY!

Maybe a DKOL one shot where Nat decides to take R out to a bar for a lil action and also R doesn’t go out much bc she’s taking care of Dylan or working. All the attention goes to Nat, which she brushes off all the men’s advances. But then one man takes interest in R, but it’s quickly clear he’s being handsy and bold (just a dick and lowk a abusive). It gives R flashbacks to Kane and she starts to have a panic attack, but Nat calms us down. Maybe a lil dark Nat at the end where she “deals” with the guy 😏

I love how deliciously wonderful u balance dark Nat with soft/protective Nat so I would love to see that more!! THANK U HAPPY EARLY BDAY

Drabble || A Little Bit of Fun

Pairing: CEO! MobBoss! Natasha Romanoff x Single Mom! Reader (Platonic)

Summary: Natasha takes you out for a girls night

Angst | Comfort | Mentions of Drinking | Attention from Men, then becomes unwanted attention | Mentions of Violence | Language Warning | 1.4K |  

Notes: A night out with Nat would be so fun! I hope you enjoy this & thank you for the birthday message x So this is so much longer than a drabble lmao, whoops! 

Different Kind of Love Masterlist

"Ready to go?" Natasha asked with a smile causing you to playfully roll your eyes at her, "Come on, don't be like that. Dyl will be fine with Bucky. If anything, Dyl will look after Bucky" Nat added with a chuckle as she grabbed your handbag off the dining table. "Are you sure about this? Clubs and bars haven't really been my thing since I found out about Dylan" you explained while quickly fixing your hair in the mirror. 

"Which is exactly why we're going. Just a few drinks, maybe some dancing, some karaoke and a good time. You've been work a lot, you need a break. Let your hair down" 

You frowned slightly, you never thought that Natasha, your boss for that matter would ever be one for a 'girls night' as they call it. "We'll be back by midnight, right? I don't want Dylan to worry" you turned to Natasha who nodded. 

"Dylan is with Bucky, they are probably playing with his trucks, eating some take out burgers and I wouldn't be surprised if Bucky has Dylan sitting on the sofa with apple juice watching the football game".

"Somehow that doesn't make me feel any better" you bit your bottom lip in worry. 

"Y/n, we are going out. Dylan is safe, he's fed, he's warm and he's in good hands. We are going to have a great time; besides, I could do with the different scenery from the bar at home". 

With a sigh you gave in, grabbing your bag from Natasha's hands and following her out the door of your apartment. 

It had been a good few years since you last went out like this, in fact, the last time was that horrible night that somehow gave you your biggest blessing. Natasha wore a black dress that hugged her figure perfectly and you knew right away that she'd be catching eyes from the moment you both stepped into the bar. You didn't mind though, you found it amusing watching Nat send glares at people who thought they had a chance at buying her drink. 

"Before we go in there, I want you to relax" Natasha spoke as her driver pulled up outside the bar, "I am relaxed" you assured her. A lie. "You're not, you keep checking your phone and your knee won't stop bouncing!" Nat replied as she placed a hand on your bouncing knee. "I'm sorry" you looked at her, "the last time I had a night like this was the night" you admitted. 

"I know, but I promise you, nothing is going to happen. You're with me, as if I'm going to even let anything happen" Natasha's thumb gently stroked the top of your knee. "Promise?" you asked. You just needed her assurance. Natasha nodded, "just give it a chance and if you don't like it, we'll go back to mine and finish the night there" the red head offered. You took a deep breath in and nodded, "okay, let's go have fun" you smiled softly.

----

To your surprise the night was off to a wonderful start, you and Natasha sat by the bartender who wasn't shy of stealing looks of Natasha. Of course, Nat was gaining a fair bit of attention as the night went on, it was a plus for the two of you with the amount of free drinks that were sent to your end of the bar but eventually Natasha was tired of the attention and just sent the men a look that could kill. 

"Alright, tell me" you looked to Natasha as you took a sip of your cocktail, "all these men are basically falling at your knees and you're telling me you're not the slightest bit interested in any of them?" you asked. Natasha chuckled and shook her head, "I'm a lesbian honey, I'm surprised you didn't work that out" she replied before she downed a sip of her own drink. You took a moment to think and suddenly it all made sense to you why she never spoke about a husband, boyfriend or a celebrity crush for that matter. 

"What are we doing at a straight bar then?" you asked. 

"Because I'm not looking for anything, besides, I love the free drinks and disappointment on those men's faces" Natasha explained, "what about you? Have you thought about putting yourself out there a little? Now that Dylan is off to pre-school and all?" she asked.

"I didn't really get a chance to work that out, I guess. I mean, I make out with a few girls when I was in high school and I had a boyfriend at one stage but then Dylan came and I just put all of that to the side" you sipped your drink once more. 

"Why don't you give it ago tonight? That guy over there has been eyeing you all night, lets buy him a drink" Natasha smirked as she waved down the bartender while you glanced over to the tall brunette guy who sent a smile your way. "Nat, I don't know" you mumbled as you shifted your attention back to Natasha. "Too late" Nat playfully winked at you. 

"Hey there, can I get you a drink?" the man's voice spoke from behind you as you slightly turned to look up at him, "I think I bet you too it" you smiled as the bartender handed you a cold beer for you to hand to the gentleman. "Looks like you did" he chuckled, "I'm Noah" he added as he reached his hand out, you took it gently, "I'm Y/n". 

----

Natasha watched from the bar as you finally allowed yourself to have some fun. You danced with Noah, he brought you both some drinks and hadn't failed to make you laugh as the night went on. It wasn't until just before midnight when Noah became rather handsy and tried to coach you to the back seat of his car. You gently pushed him away and shook your head, "No, I'm just here for some fun" you reminded the man. 

"It'll be fun baby, come on. I've done the dancing and pulling jokes, let's just get out of here" he replied as he pulled you closer to him. The strong smell of alcohol sent your mind right back to that night, the cries you let out that were ignored only made matters worse. You tried to break free from Noah's hold, but his strength was too much. "Let me go! please, I said no!" You begged. Natasha saw your struggle and slammed her drink on the bar before storming over to the two of you. 

"Let her go, she said no!" Natasha's voice came to your rescue. Noah looked at Natasha and released his hold of you, "Nothing but a couple of cheap whores!" He spat before walking away. You quickly turned to Natasha in a panic, your breathing quickened, your hands trembled and sweat began to form on your forehead. 

"Y/n, it's okay, he's gone" Natasha spoke softly as she pulled you gently into her arms for a tight hug, "I promised you, nothing was going to happen" she reminded you as she rubbed your back which helped bring your panic attack to a close. She held you until you felt safe enough to pull away. 

"Can we please go?" you asked softly in hopes not to disappoint your friend, she nodded, "I'll walk you to the car then I'll come back and pay the bill" She led you out of the bar following behind you for protection. Once in the car, Natasha reminded you she was just going back to pay the bill she racked up while you were busy and that she'd be back in just a moment. Of course, she told her driver to lock the doors which helped keep you grounded. 

"A couple of cheap whores huh?" Natasha walked confidently up to Noah, "that's what I said, didn't I?" Noah looked the red head up and down before taking a mouthful of his beer. Natasha took this moment to punch the male in the face, the glass in his hand shattering, leaving pieces in his hand and face. 

"You crazy son of a bitch!" he yelled. 

"If I ever see you in here again treating women like meat, I'm going to feed you to a meat grinder then to pigs. I'm not joking, when a woman says no, she means no!" Natasha spoke sternly before kicking Noah in his gentles, "does this cheap whore make herself clear?" she asked as Noah fell to the floor. 

"You're fucking crazy!" he groaned as he covered his manhood. 

"I'll take that as a yes" Natasha replied before walking back to the car.

Taglist: @marvelogic | @randomnessbecausewhynot | @blackwidow-3 | @lilsmeaux | @mmmmokdok | @wandanats-goodgirl | @toouncreativeforausername | @agent99galanzo | @marvelwomen-simp | @its-just-geek | @fxckmiup | @loneliestafterparty | @pikachooo3 | @monaekelis | 

[saturnine-saturneight]

Find the word tag

@paeliae-occasionally tagged me, thank you :)

My words: cast, ship, hold and protest.

Cast

I don't have this a single time! This would probably look a lot different if I was writing something with a magic system.

Ship

That makes Nat perk up despite themself. "Oh, what? Come on. We all know what happened here. Somebody messed up their duties, you had an enormous zombie problem, everybody jumped ship, and now your word of mouth reviews are at rock bottom and you're sweating to rehire."

Hold

I've used the word hold 18 times. Here's a selection:

She stays with them the entire time they're working on the filters. Here and there, she even lends a hand, but her wrists are small and her nails are long, and getting her to hold on tight to a component turns out to be an ordeal and a half.

Nat reaches for it, then thinks better of it and puts their sleeve over their hand before they unplug it. Standing, they hold it in Matcha's face, and she looks like she's about to throw up with panic.

Ron picks himself off the ground - he doesn't hold his hand out for Nat to pull him up. Nat doesn't offer it. He cracks his shoulder, alone, his face dark.

Protest

Five uses of the word protest! Interestingly, almost all of them are strong spoiler territory no matter how much I trim them down. I guess it's just a strong word to use?

"Téo?" Nat asks. "You're still worried about him?" Ron rubs his face. "Yeah. He's been real shit at answering my texts. I'm talking weeks in between replies instead of days now." "Hm." Nat looks down the neck of their bottle. "Are you still into him?" Ron sputters, spilling a splash of purple onto his naked leg. "Dude, fuck off," he grouches as he wipes it with his hand. Lower, he adds: "And you know that's not the right question to ask anyways." "What is the right question?" "Fuck off," he repeats. "What, are you jealous about him too?" "I am not jealous," they point their bottle at him in protest. "What do you mean too?"

"Great," he says. "You're putting me to work." "I am not," they protest. "Ron - Ron." Nat crouches down next to the bed, onto his level, and looks him in the eyes, twinging uncomfortably as they do. And for a moment, it takes everything they have to not ask him 'do you trust me?' Right now, they don't want to hear the answer to that question. "I just think we should have some fun," Nat says instead.

Tagging @marlowethelibrarian @rotting-moon-writes @noblebs

Your words are: Force, kind, stop, and follow.

[novelmonger]

Sharon Carter, Natasha Romanoff, Laura Barton, Peter Parker, Maria Hill, Ned Leeds, Peter Quill.

From this ask game

Go grocery shopping with - I'm definitely noticing a pattern here - I always wanna go grocery shopping with the moms! A trip to the grocery store with Laura Barton would be very normal, and I feel like she'd be the kind of mom who'd send each of her kids off to fetch something, so it would be a very efficient, smooth process. Because I would definitely want the kids to come along too. Maybe I could help them pick out a fun dessert or treat to share too. Because I'm also coming over for supper, right? Right?

Have lunch with - Sharon Carter was the first person I thought of for having lunch with, and after a bit of puzzling over it, I think it's because I just really want her as a big sister. She's so kind and considerate, while also being sharp and tactful and brave and confident. I'd like to think she'd put me at my ease right away and find things for us to talk about. She's the kind of person who knows how to ask the right questions and really listen to the answers. Maybe, if we got to the point where she trusted me enough to talk about more personal matters, I could also ask her about Steve ;)

Have coffee with - Maybe it's just because of the opening scene of Civil War, but Natasha was the first person I thought of for coffee. (I would be drinking tea, of course.) Nat would be a great person to people-watch with in some little cafe on the street. She'd probably be miles ahead of me at guessing what kind of jobs people had or what errands they were running. But she'd also be very laid back and ready to laugh.

Go thrift shopping with - I think Quill would be fun to go thrifting with, because he'd probably get super excited about old stuff that reminds him of his childhood, and he'd probably do the real-life version of one of those changing-room montages where he models a whole bunch of wacky outfits that I give thumbs up or thumbs down for. It would probably revolve more around what he's buying and trying on rather than what I'd be looking for, which suits me just fine because I hate shopping for clothes and need as many distractions as I can get.

Explore a museum/art gallery/aquarium with - Picture this: Some kind of science or space museum, with Peter Parker in tow completely geeking out and talking a mile a minute, rattling off a bunch of interesting facts and things you barely understand, practically bouncing up and down like a little kid and occasionally doing something awkward and endearing like bumping into someone but then catching their coffee for them before it can spill. Doesn't that sound like a great day? I think so!

Go the library/bookstore with - You know what? I'd be really curious to see what sort of books Maria Hill would go for. I know so little about her; I think it would be very enlightening! She also strikes me as a very chill person who would be completely content to let me browse around and wouldn't rush me.

Have as a plus-one at a wedding - I don't care what anyone says. If I have to go to a party, I want Ned Leeds at my side. We can be socially awkward together, and I'm sure we'd find something nerdy to talk about that would actually be interesting to us, even if everybody else at our table ignored us or gave us funny looks. Also, I don't think Ned knows how to dance, so we'd either sit out the dancing or do some kind of weird boogie off in a corner that would involve lots of laughter. And you know he would wear the most stylish hat in the room ;) I would be proud to be on his arm.

[bisluthq]

https://www.tumblr.com/bisluthq/757818239425396736/i-think-the-newold-lyrics-from-my-boy-makes-it?source=share

That's actually an interesting perspective I hadn't thought off Nat. I'm just not sure it fits in this case, because if she were to play pretend and be unhappy about it like you said, it wouldn't make much sense to say that she felt more in those moments. Also in the og lyrics, she says "in those brief moments".

Tbh I don't really know what exactly she means about playing pretend with Matty. Like pretend they were married or about to marry? They only even lived kind off together for less than a month. But since he was following her around, it was also more convenient.

I guess the “brief” part makes it sound more like Matty but my whole point is one wants to play again from before you realized you’re playing. When I *know* I’m playing pretend then it’s not that fun anymore and I know I’m unhappy and something is about to change/is changing but there’s a period of time before I realize that. In that moment in his kitchen, where I realized the whole evening was something of a pantomime, I’d have loved to go back to an hour before that where I hadn’t known that. Because if I’d known I’m unhappy, if I’d known I didn’t want to be there, I wouldn’t have gone. I’d have made up an excuse or I’d have made plans with someone else and pretended those predated these ones or I’d have attended as a guest and not run around up and down all night or stayed up washing the dishes. I’d have plopped down and drunk wine and maybe, if I was being generous and kind, offered to take a run down to the shop when the booze ran out/was running low or maybe I’d have suggested going out out at that point or whatever. But I didn’t because, up until it all felt unreal and a touch silly, I was doing what I thought I was supposed to be doing and being a great girlfriend and shit. Up until the ball finally dropped, I had wanted to be there. I had wanted to make sure everyone had a nice time. I had wanted to make sure everything was tidy and neat. And I did feel a lot in those moments - again, there were a lot of firsts he and I had and I think that specific night was the first time I’d ever gotten to be the girlfriend™️ co-host. Because up until then, shit either happened at my place and frankly I was and remain more nihilistic on completely my own turf like here’s some alcohol and here’s an ashtray and I’m very possibly gonna fuck off and play on my phone at some stage idk how this is gonna go OR it was at his mum’s and that was like me “helping” not really having responsibilities idk because it was HER HOUSE right so idk the height of my responsibility there was not leaving a mess after myself and his friends coming over there were her guests fundamentally and not mine) and unreal as it ultimately felt, I suppose I did enjoy it? If I hadn’t at all, I’d have left? I wasn’t married to the guy, I didn’t live there, my own place was within reach like it obviously wouldn’t have been a good idea to drive home because I wasn’t wasted but I also had been drinking but I could’ve done a myriad things had I known I was miserable. I didn’t really know that though like until it came to washing up. So I guess I had, at that point, felt more when I played pretend?

I’ll give another relationship example of this same feeling. In early 2020, pre COVID, my ex and I went to her family party. Can’t remember what the occasion was - someone’s birthday I suppose, or maybe like a UK based relative was visiting idk that isn’t important to the story time we’re doing now. Her and I had broken up end 2019 but then like decided to “work on it” and I dated that other girl but like we had a co-signed lease and we had the cats and we’d been together a long time and shit like I figured maybe we could figure it out because we’d been together a really long time and when I was seeing that other girl one of the things that struck me was she was very sensible and practical and very sweet and very functional but I couldn’t really see us being best friends whereas my ex and I 100% were and as I’ve said have remained on good terms. Anyway, here we were at this family party and all around me were these people I’d known for years by this stage and who were pretty much my family too. We had an extended family group chat even that I was on (and the guy who managed the GC didn’t add people to it easily like you had to really be around for a long while before you got added to it) and we were talking about things that had happened (we didn’t tell people about the problems we were having) and everyone was making plans for the year ahead (lol @ those not because of our problems but because of how 2020 went down ultimately) and it also hit me there like idk I’m playing pretend. I like these people, I know these people very well, they’re all very nice humans, but I probably shouldn’t be here. This isn’t where I necessarily belong in this moment or in my life in general. No offense to these people but like I’m maybe not meant to be here. I do think I felt a LOT though and I did love her and I care about all those people so I guess I felt a lot when I played pretend there too?

maybe this is a weird me thing that other people don’t feel or don’t experience but idk man it’s such a specific and recurrent feeling for me that I don’t know what it means for Taylor but it is probably always gonna mean this for me.

I also, at the risk of sounding lovey dovey, kinda expected to feel this way with my bf’s latest surgery because this month has been such fucking hell for the both of us and I kept expecting to have that moment of “I really don’t know if I want to be here or I’m here out of a sense of moral duty/obligation/responsibility because I’m obviously not gonna ditch the dude who was calling an ambulance for me two weeks ago” but I never felt that - I did actually want to be there and I did actually want him to come home and I wanted to go home with him so I guess for now I’m not playing pretend in this scenario but I’m also not sure I feel MORE or if I just feel like I’m where I’m supposed to be currently and don’t want to change all that much about my life (except the whole job sitch like obviously I can’t just work 3 hours a day that’s just not financially feasible but other than that it’s all good).

[allthemusic]

Week ending: 5th July

I am intrigued by both titles this week, for entirely different reasons. Both look like they have the potential to be excellent, and where I'm looking at the charts, both also look relatively obscure, meaning I have genuinely very few preconceptions as to what they'll be. Bring it on!

Too Young to Go Steady - Nat King Cole (peaked at Number 8)

Immediately, I enjoy the 1950s slang in the title. People don't "go steady" anymore nowadays, more's the pity. It makes me think of a video I was watching about 1950s dating culture, which if I recall correctly from the video was surprisingly wild, with lots of people going on dates quite casually with multiple partners, before choosing one to finally settle down with and "go steady", dating with an eye towards something more serious.

Based of that, I'm kind of expecting a song about wanting the freedom to date around while you're young? Or of just not wanting to commit too soon? Neither of these seem like obvious Nat King Cole routes to go, but we'll see, I guess. Is this Nat jumping on the rock and rollers' bandwagon and making music for the newly-minted teenagers?

No. No, it very much does not. The giveaway comes all the way in the first verse, when Nat is singing about being too young to commit - but the twist is that it's not him who feels that way! Instead, the song from the get go is about a girl who is claiming they're too young to commit, while Nat's less convinced. She says we're not ready, he croons, But then why am I feeling this way?

It feels like quite a real situation, the sort of thing you could quite easily imagine happening. That doesn't mean that it paints Nat in a great light. Already, lines like Too young, so she tells me / She says we'll have to wait / Why wait till it may be too late? feel a little manipulative, and as the song progresses, Nat's tone turns more petulant, as he asks Must she always act just like a child? / Won't she ever own up, we're grown up? before finally letting his resentment show, singing about how Someday she'll be sorry / Someday just wait and see / She'll wish she'd gone steady with me.

It's not a good look, and honestly, it kind of makes me wonder if Nat's girl's maybe just not that into him? I mean, the whole "she's gonna regret turning me down" vibe is gross and slightly creepy, a real turn-off. If Nat was sensible, he'd just give his girl a bit of time; if it's meant to be, she'll come round. And if not, clearly you're just looking for different things from life. Chalk it up to experience and move on, Nat!

Dubious lyrics aside, it is a perfectly pleasant song. It's Nat King Cole, you know this. The man can sing, and this lushly-instrumented ballad suits his voice well. It's a classy affair, and clearly well-made. Just a shame about the lyrics. You can do better, Nat!

Experiments With Mice - Johnny Dankworth (7)

I really hope that this is a weird one. With a title like that, it's got to be a weird one, right? I mean, what could it possibly - oh, it's jazz versions of Three Blind Mice. I see. That's... refreshingly straightforward, all things considered. It's experimental, and it's about mice. Fair enough.

I do like the little details here, and I suspect if I was a 1950s jazz aficionado I'd like them even more. For one, all the mice are named after different jazz and swing musicians, and after each one is introduced, you get a little variation of the main Three Blind Mice tune, but in the style of that particular musician. I recognised Benny Goodman and Glenn Miller immediately, but unfortunately none of the other names or sounds really popped for me. Still, it was enough for me to get and appreciate the joke, and I can only imagine how fun this would have been if I was getting the other references, if the accuracy of the Goodman and Miller bits is representative.

There's also this slightly echoey spoken voiceover between the sections - Johnny Dankworth himself? Whatever it is, it feels completely different to anything we've heard yet, a bit like a kid's storybook narrator was dropped into the middle of a particularly surreal song. In some ways, it feels like an early track by Pink Floyd, or some similarly silly British prog rock band.

I feel like if this track were much longer than it is, it would maybe annoy me? As it is, it's short enough and whimsical enough for me to give it a pass. It feels like the sort of thing you could do a reasonably funny version of on YouTube or Tiktok today, updating the musical references to something more contemporaneous - and I guess that's part of the reason why novelty records were so big, in this age before streaming. They were your source of silly musical memes to bond over and laugh at together, as much as a track to actually enjoy as a piece of music. So I can appreciate that.

Yeah, I had thoughts and feelings about both of these tracks. One was by far my favourite, though - I'll take nonsense with a strong gimmick over slightly whiny complaining any day!

Favourite song of the bunch: Experiments With Mice